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1
00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:17,560
THE CZECH STATE FUND FOR THE SUPPORT
AND DEVELOPMENT OF CZECH CINEMATOGRAPHY
2
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,360
I made this journey
tense with excitement
3
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,440
at what I might find at its end.
4
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:29,080
JARA CIMRMAN,
RECUMBENT, DORMANT
5
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:36,240
Idea and Screenplay
6
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:46,680
If my suspicions proved correct,
it would stun the cultural world.
7
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:52,440
Title role created by
Zdenek Sverak et al.
8
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,400
While working on my latest book,
9
00:00:55,760 --> 00:01:00,880
I read hundreds of as yet
unedited theatre reviews.
10
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,760
There I encountered the name
of an unknown playwright.
11
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:10,480
He isn't in the textbooks,
His plays aren't in the archives.
12
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:19,000
Cast
13
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,520
Music
14
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,880
Sound
15
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,480
They were curious dramas.
16
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:53,080
They had premieres
but were never repeated.
17
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:59,320
The author usually left hastily
and by the back door.
18
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,640
Sometimes the audience hurled
chairs at the stage as well.
19
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,040
Edited by
20
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:11,640
Yet there were always actors
willing to work on his next play.
21
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,400
Production
22
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,640
Camera
23
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,640
Directed by
24
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:27,960
I decided to visit the place,
where they say he was last seen.
25
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:42,560
- But you told me Liptakov.
- No, I said Dvorak's Sychrov!
26
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:47,280
- Right after the pond, he said.
- We're 120 kilometres wrong.
27
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:51,840
- Who was he, this Cimrman?
- No idea, maybe a local poet.
28
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:56,440
Now we'll never get to Sychrov.
Why don't we stop for a swim?
29
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,080
Is there anywhere we can
swim here?
30
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:02,440
Look, a museum of feathers!
Shall we go and take a look?
31
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,800
It's all one to me.
Do as you please.
32
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,640
- Well, my friends...
- Excuse me, Professor Kingsley...
33
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,280
Come with me, my friends,
to this museum.
34
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:18,400
But Professor Kingsley has come
from London because of Dvorak.
35
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:19,600
Just a moment, please.
36
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,480
- We must cope with this somehow.
- How? We're 120 kilometres off!
37
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:24,840
What shall I tell him?
38
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:29,840
Say Dvorak spent his holidays
here. Or his brother did.
39
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,720
Come friends, let us go!
40
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,120
I must explain to you...
41
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:58,240
The world's greatest writer,
inventor, painter,
42
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:02,720
physicist, skier
and philosopher
43
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,680
of the last 100 years
44
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:10,720
was the great Czech
Jara Cimrman.
45
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:16,120
We may dispute the fact,
we may even disagree,
46
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:20,400
but there is nothing else,
that can be done about it.
47
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,320
Please follow me.
48
00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:32,160
- How many of your are there?
- Nineteen.
49
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,560
I'm not with this party.
50
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,200
Thank you.
51
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:57,920
You are standing in the last
known residence of Jara Cimrman.
52
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,680
This shop belonged
to Josef Lesner.
53
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,400
Now let us proceed to
the adjacent room.
54
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,480
Kindly shut the door.
55
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:24,520
Here Lesner's family lived and
stripped feathers in winter.
56
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,240
On the table you can see heaps
of feathers.
57
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,760
When did Man actually first
use feathers for warmth?
58
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:37,920
This is a bit boring.
We'll go on to the next room.
59
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,600
WILD GOOSE
CHICKEN PLUCKED - UNPLUCKED
60
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,800
This is the master's room.
61
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:51,320
The objects displayed were
definitely used by Jara Cimrman.
62
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:58,240
Note the bed, chair and shelves
supporting personal effects
63
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:04,680
and on the hanger the wool
socks sported by Cimrman in bed.
64
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:10,000
The slippers have been left
where he slipped them off.
65
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,480
BED
66
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,640
INK POT, PLATE, CUTLERY,
CHEESE CO VER
67
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,520
PARAFFIN LAMP
CHAIR
68
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,440
SLIPPERS
69
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,000
CUPBO ARD
70
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,160
HALF-SMOKED CIGAR
71
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,800
ALARM CLOCK
72
00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,440
NIGHTSHIRT
WOOLLEN SOCKS
73
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,680
Excuse me, but who is Cimrman?
74
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:13,200
A photograph of the owner
of the house, Josef Lesner.
75
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,720
No likeness of the master
has come down to us.
76
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:22,520
We know only that from childhood
he had a T-shaped facial scar.
77
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,600
Kindly come out into the yard.
78
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,080
Dvorak's father.
79
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:37,240
On this chopping block Cimrman
personally chopped wood.
80
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:42,000
The metal section is original,
but the handle of later date.
81
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:47,840
- Is the block still in use?
- Well, I chop wood on it.
82
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:53,040
Kindly walk over to the school,
I'll catch up with you.
83
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:09,480
This was once the Sirotky pub,
the school was on the 1st floor.
84
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:15,840
Cimrman taught here briefly.
Let's go upstairs and look down.
85
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:17,920
This way please...
86
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:37,080
No, no, please come this way.
87
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:50,200
Please look in this direction.
88
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:56,320
In this direction, 320 km away,
lies Vienna.
89
00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:00,720
It was there that Cimrman was
born and spent his first years.
90
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,600
Unfortunately we do not know
the year of his birth.
91
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:11,200
Just one photograph survives -
his elder sister's birthday.
92
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,560
The small girl is Jara Cimrman.
He wasn't told he was a boy
93
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:21,800
because his parents wanted him
to wear his sister's cast-offs.
94
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,360
His father looks more like
a grandfather
95
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,680
but he was 80 at the time,
after all.
96
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:36,480
He still managed to father one
healthy and one genius child.
97
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,400
Longevity was a feature
of the Cimrman family.
98
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:45,040
They usually lived to around
a hundred.
99
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:56,040
The mill was Vojtech Kalvoda's.
Cimrman's partner at cards.
100
00:09:56,320 --> 00:10:00,960
Kalvoda was a good card player
but he never won against Cimrman.
101
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,440
This way please.
102
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:07,840
- Never won. How do they know?
- I told them so.
103
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:15,360
Cimrman took a photo of the mill
with a camera of his own design.
104
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:19,160
The moustachioed man in the
centre is the miller Kalvoda.
105
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:25,560
In May 1914 he gave Cimrman two
sacks of flour for the picture.
106
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:38,240
Beyond those hills,
107
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:47,680
SCHOOL YEARS, PRAGUE 18??
108
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,760
Cimrman, in his sister's clothes,
109
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:59,600
was enrolled in the Minerva
girls' school.
110
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:17,200
In some subjects, for example
"training for motherhood",
111
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,560
he was only an average pupil.
112
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:34,480
In others, especially technical
fields, he was so brilliant
113
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:38,840
that he actually took over
from the teacher at times.
114
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:51,440
His feats on the sports ground
also amazed his teachers.
115
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:08,520
He soon noticed differences
between himself and class-mates.
116
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,680
Differences that in the junior
classes had been slight.
117
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,520
INTIMATE GIRLHOOD MOMENTS,
ALWAYS IN THE CENTRE
118
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,160
But no one took his anxieties
very seriously.
119
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:30,640
His girlish figure even won him
special distinction,
120
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:36,080
when the painter Josef Manes
asked the school for a model.
121
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:56,200
Not many people know that
the much admired calf
122
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,960
of Manesian women is the Czech
calf of Jara Cimrman.
123
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:06,600
The fateful turning-point
in his young life
124
00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,880
came during the traditional
garland-floating ceremony.
125
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,880
A seemingly insignificant
accident
126
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:15,240
shattered Cimrman's subjective
idea of the female body
127
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:21,080
suddenly confronting it
with brutal objective reality.
128
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,360
The prudish upbringing that
concealed from young people
129
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,320
the basic facts about
human physiology
130
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:31,960
led Cimrman to draw only one
possible conclusion.
131
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:35,080
If I'm a woman with what
I have under my skirt,
132
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:39,880
then our lady gym teacher
has to be a man!
133
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:06,000
This episode was the end
of Cimrman's girlhood.
134
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:10,920
From this moment he inscribed
himself in history as a man only.
135
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:19,120
JARA CIMRMAN,
INSPIRING
136
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:24,720
Soon he was a new star in
the firmament of world science.
137
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:29,080
He inspired the greatest minds
of his time.
138
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,480
Hey, you've torn down my
telegraph wires!
139
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,560
Try it without the wires,
Marconi old chap!
140
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,200
Thanks!
141
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,080
Permit me, Eiffel?
142
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:10,960
Yeah, er...
143
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,240
Well, um...
144
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:33,360
No... wait a moment. Gentlemen,
please, just try again.
145
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,200
- No, no...
- Listen, Johann Strauss junior,
146
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:49,200
try staying with that A Major.
147
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,400
You think so?
148
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:55,120
Gentlemen, put in a "G"
and a C Flat there.
149
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,600
I've got an idea
for an operetta for you.
150
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,680
Well...
151
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,800
What are you working on,
Dr. Chekhov?
152
00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:33,000
I'm writing, "Two Sisters".
153
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:38,040
But isn't just two a bit
measly, Anton Pavlovitch?
154
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:47,040
JARA CIMRMAN,
ARRIVING TOO LATE
155
00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:01,360
But he had no luck
with his own discoveries.
156
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,160
I've just discovered
the telephone!
157
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,480
Just now!
158
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:14,680
But he was here just now.
You must have met him. Some...
159
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,040
Graham Bell.
160
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,800
I've just invented
the cinematograph!
161
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:26,880
Man, are you unlucky!
They were here a moment ago.
162
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,280
Two brothers, from France,
they just left.
163
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:35,920
Don't tell me I'm out of luck
this time. Take this down!
164
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,120
I have just invented...
165
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,760
the fuse,
166
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,320
the electric light bulb,
167
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,960
the accumulator,
168
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,040
the dynamo
169
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,720
and the electricity meter.
170
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:02,520
Edison.
171
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,840
He was here just now.
172
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,560
Don't you have anything else?
173
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,720
Well... I might have...
but...
174
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,320
- I don't know.
- Out with it!
175
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,400
What is it?
176
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,360
A bikini.
177
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,480
There now, you see,
at least something.
178
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,480
J. Cimrman...
179
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,040
One bathing suit...
180
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,400
in two parts.
181
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,280
And next time
mind you come earlier!
182
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:21,640
This explosive is 3-4 times
more effective than gunpowder.
183
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,480
Gunpowder...
184
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:28,840
- And your name again...
- Alfred Berndhard Nobel.
185
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,600
Alfred Bern...
186
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:43,840
Take this down quick!
I've just invented dynamite!
187
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,280
We are now at the Cimrman
mineral spring.
188
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:53,000
The water is rich in carbonates,
potassium salt and iron.
189
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:57,720
If you drink it, you'll be
pregnant in a year - they say.
190
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:02,800
The truth is that it has
beneficial effects on health
191
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:08,560
and is said to be why the
local inhabitants live so long.
192
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,160
Excuse me, please,
193
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,200
I have a question.
194
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,360
What was Cimrman's nationality?
Czech father, Austrian mother,
195
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:23,160
born in Vienna, a year's school
in Prague, then living in France?
196
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,000
He felt he was a Czech
at heart.
197
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,120
Is there any written
evidence for that?
198
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,560
No.
199
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,760
Let us proceed please.
200
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,400
This is where Rusalka lived.
201
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:40,840
Who?
202
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,760
Rusalka.
203
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,280
- The water-nymph.
- Ah...
204
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:52,440
JARA CIMRMAN,
CREATING, PRAGUE 1897
205
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,240
Cimrman!
206
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,080
Jara! Is that you?
207
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,560
Marold!
208
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:20,520
- Ludek! - What brings you here?
- I'm on my way back from Paris!
209
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,560
You must come with me at once.
210
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,360
Thank you, Mr. Melichar.
We'll continue tomorrow.
211
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,880
- Where are we going then?
- I'm working on a big commission.
212
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:33,280
In Stromovka Park.
213
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,600
- Hello there, Kaplan.
- Hello!
214
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,240
What are you cobbling together
now then?
215
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:41,200
- The turbine, but I'm screwing up.
- Just keep at it!
216
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,280
I terribly appreciate your views.
217
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,920
How are you, Vrchlicky?
It's something completely new.
218
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,960
It opens up unimagined
horizons for painting.
219
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,360
- Good morning, Mr. Marold.
- Hello, Johnny.
220
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,640
That's the Kubelik.
Very talented.
221
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:03,880
A panorama.
222
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,760
The Battle of Lipany.
223
00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,120
You'll fall, Krizik!
224
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,720
Excuse me, aren't you Cimrman
by any chance?
225
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,080
And aren't you by any chance
Karolina Svetla?
226
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,520
Where have you been hiding,
you rascal?
227
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,080
Remember how you took me
to that cross by the stream?
228
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:28,600
I've written it up.
A whole 230 pages of it.
229
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,440
Myslbek, look who's here!
230
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,960
Welcome, Cimrman.
Excuse me, I'm in a rush.
231
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:36,560
Pardon me...
232
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:41,080
- Look where you're going!
- Dvorak!
233
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,440
So you're home from New York
then?
234
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:48,680
Home's the best. You should
settle down too, Cimrman.
235
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:55,360
Absolute realism. You can't
tell the real from the painted.
236
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,240
- Hello, Holub!
- Hello, boys.
237
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,400
- Absolute realism...
- Excuse me for a moment...
238
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,320
Good morning, Doctor Holub?
Is it Africa again this year?
239
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,400
He's staying home, he is.
He's travelled enough.
240
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,080
It would seem not.
241
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,960
Jansa does the landscapes.
242
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,560
And I do the figures.
243
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,160
We've nearly finished.
244
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:26,520
I'm terribly curious
to know what you think of it.
245
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,240
Behold!
246
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:35,600
It's not in a frame on a wall,
You're right inside it.
247
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,600
Can you feel that magical space?
248
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:42,040
You could just reach out your
hand and touch the things.
249
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:47,880
You don't know where the border
is, where the painting begins!
250
00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:52,360
It's not bad, Ludek, but
why stop halfway?
251
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:53,920
What do you mean?
252
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:57,760
The unity of reality and art
doesn't go far enough.
253
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,320
Essentially it's just
another picture.
254
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,840
People will come and gawp at
it as they gawp at circuses.
255
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,440
- But you can't go any further.
- 'Course you can.
256
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,960
If you like Ludek, I'll show
you how far a painter can go.
257
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,680
- He's right...
- Liz, you're never on my side.
258
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,120
That's not true, but
Mr. Cimrman's right about this.
259
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,120
Thank you Ludek.
Thank you for the inspiration.
260
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:24,920
So you don't want to work
with me then.
261
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,480
I shall lay the sea
at the feet of Prague.
262
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:52,000
Good, Mr. Bejcek, very good!
And now move on a little!
263
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,880
Swish it round properly Liz,
so there aren't any puddles.
264
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,640
And get rough with that
blue on the horizon!
265
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,800
Don't be scared of the contrast.
It's the sea! It's elemental!
266
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,360
Watch out, there's
a seagull there!
267
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,680
- Pass, Joe!
- Hello Sir!
268
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,080
Sir!
269
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,000
You promised we'd be able
to train today!
270
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:50,360
Today we'll finish painting it,
and tomorrow it can dry,
271
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,960
and the day after tomorrow
you can help me roll it up.
272
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:03,880
This work of art obviously
upsets the government.
273
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:09,480
Vienna has allowed Prague a sea
for a mere 30 minutes!
274
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:16,440
Friends, when our ancient
astronomical clock tolls five,
275
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:21,960
let us enjoy our brief permitted
view of the sea,
276
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,600
given to us not by nature,
like other nations
277
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,480
but by the Czech artist
of genius
278
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,520
Mr. Jaroslav Cimrman.
279
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:38,600
Moreover I firmly believe
280
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,280
I firmly trust,
281
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,520
that the day will come,
282
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,760
when this our Czech sea
283
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:50,440
will adorn Prague not just for
a graciously permitted moment,
284
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:55,840
but its waves will forever wash
the walls of Old Prague houses,
285
00:27:56,120 --> 00:28:00,560
at least every Saturday afternoon
and all day Sundays.
286
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,080
Soft, the clock sounds five!
287
00:28:55,640 --> 00:29:04,440
Soul to soul and arm in arm
Let us form a chain immense
288
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:14,120
No ruin will our union sunder
No vile sword divide us
289
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:20,440
Traitor don't you even dare...
290
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:24,320
What?
291
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,240
I was saying that I envy
your future wife.
292
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,480
My future wife?
293
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:34,080
Love and art, Lizzie,
don't go together.
294
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,160
Why not?
295
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:41,360
Real love in the end
always means family.
296
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:45,960
Just think, Lizzie, how many
many tasks I have before me.
297
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:52,440
A 3-beat motor, talkie movies,
raise reputation of Comenius.
298
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,960
If I had a family the list would
be: 3 litres of milk,
299
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,640
half a loaf, collect jacket
from cleaner's.
300
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,160
- Shall we take a closer look?
- Yes let's...!
301
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,200
Disperse!
302
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:37,080
Get out of here!
303
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:38,880
Pronto!
304
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,080
Pack up that rubbish!
305
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,280
- Did you hear be?
- Get going!
306
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,440
Disperse I said!
307
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,120
- So disperse!
- Don't stand here!
308
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:54,840
- What are you gawping at?
- Disperse, continue!
309
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,080
Never mind. Back to work again!
310
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:23,920
What are your plans now?
311
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,200
To split the atom.
312
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:31,280
No! I'll do that later.
First I'll split the monarchy.
313
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:35,400
JARA CIMRMAN,
DESTROYING, KONOPISTE, 1909
314
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:40,920
Vroom...
315
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,080
Stop!
316
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:45,240
Climb down!
317
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:47,400
Move it!
318
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,960
- Do you need a hand?
- Ouch!
319
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,000
Well, Winner? How did it go?
320
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:02,320
Your highness, like driving you.
Everyone cheered.
321
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,920
- Anyone fire at him?
- Nobody, your Highness.
322
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,840
- And how did he behave?
- He didn't give us any trouble.
323
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,880
Except on the square he stuck
his finger up his nose.
324
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,200
Ah... Many thanks.
325
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,080
The walls of Konopiste Chateau
could tell you
326
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,480
just how much Cimrman hated
being inside them.
327
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:27,680
For love of his oppressed nation
he formed an audacious plan.
328
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:33,720
to strike at the heart of the
monarchy, in the Habsburg family.
329
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,720
Despite his friends' warnings
he resolved on a heroic deed.
330
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,760
He became home tutor to the
children of the heir to the throne
331
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,360
Frantisek Ferdinand d'Este.
332
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:48,720
Cimrman, give that Nyvlt
a dressing down.
333
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,200
What are you
teaching them now?
334
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,800
The Habsburg Monarchy,
cradle of nations.
335
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:57,320
Right, when you've finished,
join me in the gunroom.
336
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:02,320
Let's sum up then, kids. What
kind of system's a monarchy?
337
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,920
- Well? Rott...
- A rotten system.
338
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,840
And the best state system's
what kind of system?
339
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,200
- A Repu...
- ...blic.
340
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,920
- But what aren't we going to do?
- Tell Daddy.
341
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,160
Herein!
342
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,560
Herein!
343
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:40,240
Dammit, so COME IN,
donner-wetter.
344
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,400
Deer, Your Highness!
345
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,480
- It the 57th today!
- Throw them out for me Cimrman.
346
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,200
Rak, go the stables and catch
me some more deer.
347
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,320
Listen,
348
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,600
I've just had a telegram
from Vienna.
349
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,560
His Majesty the emperor has
fallen ill.
350
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:14,080
The bastard.
351
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,280
As it knew I was aiming at it.
352
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:20,240
This year the flies are
particularly timid.
353
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:26,120
- I'm sure you know what that means.
- It will be a rainy year.
354
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,920
And that won't improve
the emperor's health.
355
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,600
Precipitation high
Funerals nigh.
356
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:40,760
- Is that a Czech proverb?
- Yes, but it applies to Austrians.
357
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:47,560
A bit of flu doesn't
mean anything yet.
358
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:52,280
But it's the duty of the heir
to the throne to be prepared...
359
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,880
for the emperor's sudden demise.
360
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:59,320
Could you write me a
coronation speech?
361
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,400
You said you were a writer.
362
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:07,640
Your Imperial Highness,
I'm a Czech writer.
363
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:12,160
You Habsburgs have been oppressing
my nation for 300 years.
364
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,720
Why should I have to write
you a coronation speech?
365
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,120
Oh, you patriots...
366
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:23,160
Cimrman, as soon as I'm on the
throne, everything will change
367
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:27,680
National individuality
will develop unhampered.
368
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,080
What more do you want?
369
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:34,080
I'm willing to co-operate on
a coronation speech only,
370
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:37,480
if the rights of my nation
are expressly mentioned in it.
371
00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:39,680
Good, then we're agreed.
372
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,720
The beginning will be as
usual.
373
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:46,520
My nations.
We, Franz II... and so forth
374
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,800
Here's a list of my titles.
Dammit!
375
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,560
They've left out Duke of Tuscany
again, the dimwits.
376
00:36:54,840 --> 00:37:00,080
Hey, Slavs, our Slavic tongue
still slibes...
377
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:04,520
Then shove in a pious bit about
how gutted we are that he's gone.
378
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:09,440
You know best how to stir
the emotions, you're a writer.
379
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:13,000
Here's my political programme
in numbered points.
380
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,560
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
381
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,240
And a bit of padding at the end,
you know, spice it up.
382
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:25,880
So go and do your best.
You're writing history.
383
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:44,480
...long long live the Slavic
spirit, live for ever...
384
00:37:55,520 --> 00:38:01,360
...and may His Majesty the
Emperor soon recover.
385
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,120
Our Father, which art in heaven,
386
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,800
hallowed be Thy name,
Thy kingdom come.
387
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,160
Thy will be done on Earth
as it is in Heaven.
388
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,600
Give us this day our
daily bread
389
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:23,680
And forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive them
390
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:27,600
that trespass against us...
391
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:29,960
Would you like the formulation
392
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:34,560
"Broken by pain the nations stand
by the coffin of the emperor"?
393
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:36,960
Fine, put it in.
394
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:41,480
And what about the army?
Should we leave them broken too?
395
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:45,000
- Yup, break the army too.
- Good.
396
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:50,960
Wait...
397
00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:53,000
You're right. I'll leave it out.
398
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:56,840
Get a move on, lump!
It's taking ages!
399
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:00,440
Wipe you eyes, you crazy cow!
400
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:05,000
Forgive me, Your Imperial Highness,
but the likeness...
401
00:39:05,240 --> 00:39:08,400
- And on Wednesdays it always Nyvlt.
- All right, get along with you!
402
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,200
I'm already off.
403
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,760
There's another bit I'm not
sure about, your Highness.
404
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:22,400
Broken by pain the army and navy
stand at the bedside of the emp...
405
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,160
The idea of cruisers by the bed...
406
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,080
Leave it in. It sounds nice.
407
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,800
Broken by pain...
408
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,600
- I kiss your hand.
- I kiss your hand.
409
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:48,320
- So how's it going?
- Welcome, Your Imperial Highness.
410
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:50,840
The girls did what they could.
411
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:55,040
- There's always a first time.
- I think you'll be satisfied.
412
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,680
When Ringhoffer sees this,
he'll die laughing.
413
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:43,040
...a great success.
414
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,600
So what have you prepared for
us this time, Your Highness?
415
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,080
Time for a surprise,
dear Ringhoffer.
416
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:54,040
I hope you haven't let on
to him Sophie.
417
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,600
Telegram for His Highness.
418
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:09,280
Thanks.
419
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:13,760
You see Nyvlt, when the hunt's
over the archduke will disappear
420
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,360
and the coaches line up
for the tour of the village.
421
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,880
You'll be in the first.
422
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:22,440
Come on, let's try the hands
routine we learned yesterday.
423
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,280
Long live Franz Ferdinand!
424
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:29,560
You see, it was good.
And one more time, drive!
425
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:32,520
Long live the successor!
426
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:36,000
And don't pick your nose!
427
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:39,720
You're a Hapsburg! If you've
something in your nose, blow it!
428
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,200
I don't like it. I'm bored.
429
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:46,760
Oh no you don't Nyvlt, not that.
Look at your hands!
430
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,360
Just look at them!
431
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:52,000
Fratricide, patricide,
unclecide and auntcide.
432
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:54,960
You strangled pretty well
all your relatives.
433
00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:58,720
If you weren't his double, you'd
be sitting in prison for life.
434
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:00,920
So better think twice.
435
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:07,640
Cimrman, the old man wants
to see you at once.
436
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,840
So you'd better think twice!
437
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:20,000
How much game did you bag?
I heard a fantastic number.
438
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,880
- 270 thousand
- Well...
439
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,400
What's the matter Franz?
440
00:42:33,720 --> 00:42:35,440
It's happened at last.
441
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,320
- The emperor?
- Hm, yup.
442
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:43,720
Calm down Sophie, go back to them.
As if nothing had happened.
443
00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:52,760
Well, at long last!
444
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:58,240
Yes your Highness?
445
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,880
I have just received a telegram
from the Imperial Office.
446
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:02,520
Mirvald, commence!
447
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,400
A courier is on his way
with important news.
448
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:07,040
Not another word, you understand?
449
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:11,680
The news is extremely important,
and cannot be sent by telegraph.
450
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,880
Do you think the emperor is dead?
451
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:21,080
I think I shall be making my
speech in hours, not days.
452
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:43,320
Archduke, the rabbit hunt is
ready for Yourself and the guests.
453
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,320
Welcome to my estate,
454
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,680
where a rabbit hunt has been
prepared for you.
455
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:07,120
Come, we'll go over it one
last time.
456
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,880
I'd looked forward to the hunt
but this is more important.
457
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:59,040
My nations! The Almighty has
seem fit to call to himself
458
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,080
my noble uncle.
459
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:06,120
These sad events determine
our ascension to the throne.
460
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:10,160
Broken by onerous pain
the nations of the empire
461
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:14,280
stand over the coffin of the
immortalised emperor and king.
462
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:44,040
Our life's purpose will be only
the good of our nations.
463
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:50,680
We shall love all alike, but
especially our beloved Czechs.
464
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:54,360
- Is it there?
- You promised me it would be.
465
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:59,040
Especially our beloved Czechs...
466
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:12,640
- Come on, don't be scared...
- Climb up...
467
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,160
Baron, do you see that?
468
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:47,440
Yes.
469
00:46:59,920 --> 00:47:01,520
Come gentlemen.
470
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:16,720
- Where do you get all your ideas?
- Truly fantastic!
471
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,960
Congratulations, Your Highness!
472
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:23,800
This is a hunt no one will
forget in a hurry.
473
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,040
You have surprised us.
474
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:30,560
...that we may lead our nations
to peace and prosperity.
475
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:31,960
We, Franz ll.
476
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:38,280
It's basically fine. But I
would repeat "broken by pain".
477
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:53,520
Your Highness!
478
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:00,160
Read it, Cimrman,
I can't concentrate.
479
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:09,600
Dear Ferdinand, I am returned
to health and hard at work.
480
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:13,720
I think the other members of
our Habsburg family
481
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,400
should do more to earn their
keep.
482
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:20,320
I'll do Sarajevo again this year.
But next year it's your turn.
483
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:22,840
For now I have other tasks
I want you to get on with.
484
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:27,120
I'll expect you tomorrow at
485
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:33,160
That ghastly good health
of his!
486
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,360
What's so bad about dying
a natural death?
487
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,560
What don't those lazy anarchists
chuck a bomb at him?
488
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,080
Am I going to have to strangle
him myself?
489
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:45,720
Do I have to strangle him myself?
490
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,280
With my own hands, eh?
491
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,120
- Ouch...
- That's his double...
492
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,280
- A murderer I gather...
- Absolute twins...
493
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:56,400
Let go of me, ouch...
494
00:49:56,880 --> 00:50:01,120
He broke through the bars
It's not out fault, Highness.
495
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:07,760
It's awful, Franz.
He's recovered again.
496
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,720
We'll just have to go on waiting
waiting.
497
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,640
Come on, we must get ready
for the journey.
498
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:46,640
Nyvlt, just look at those
hands of yours.
499
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:50,280
Look at your hands!
500
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:53,920
But I washed.
With soap.
501
00:50:54,240 --> 00:50:59,720
In a few hours you'll hold
the world's fate in those hands.
502
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:05,320
But mind you don't throttle him.
You must just choke him a bit.
503
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:10,040
I know. Until his eyes goggle,
then I loosen my hold.
504
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:13,000
And then you get him to sign
this piece of paper here.
505
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:16,160
Wait, I need to add something.
506
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,080
P.S.!
507
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:25,080
That'll show him!
508
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,120
Hey, why don't we
do a runner?
509
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:36,480
Sit down!
510
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:39,120
Sit down!
511
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,720
Nyvlt, you haven't grasped
anything.
512
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:50,880
Just think, one day your children
will open a history book
513
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:58,480
And there it will be
"Hus, Komensky, Smetana, Nyvlt"
514
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:01,520
Nyvlt!
515
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:12,720
Welcome nephew.
516
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:16,200
How are you?
517
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:22,720
How are your mother and brother?
How is your tuberculosis? Tell me!
518
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:26,760
Give him it.
519
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:31,000
Read that.
520
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,520
Read it me yourself, lad.
521
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,880
Just read it!
522
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:46,240
I can't read.
523
00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:53,840
Your Imperial Majesty,
His Highness has problems...
524
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:55,200
So I shall read it myself.
525
00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:59,960
Mindful of the place occupied in
the empire by the Czech nation,
526
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:04,200
we do decree that from
the 1st of January 1910
527
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:10,840
the empire will be renamed,
Austria-Hungary-Bohemia.
528
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:14,320
Franz Josef in his own hand.
529
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:19,200
P.S. I shall learn Czech.
530
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:25,640
Sign it. If you don't sign it
I'll strangle you.
531
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:28,760
Just you try.
532
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,040
Come here then.
533
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:46,080
- Damn you, you're still strong.
- You've seen nothing yet.
534
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:47,760
Now watch...!
535
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:53,040
You rascal, who taught you that?
That's how Machane strangles!
536
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:55,560
Nyvlt!
537
00:54:56,400 --> 00:55:01,000
- Machane! - Hey, lad, how long
have you been doubling?
538
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:03,560
- Since last year.
- I've been at it two years.
539
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:07,000
- And what's old Fuka doing?
- He's in the nick.
540
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:09,160
He's a real original!
541
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:14,000
Mr. Cimrman,
this man's a mate of mine.
542
00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:17,360
We were in jug together in Bory.
543
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,920
Schluss, the end,
bloody nothing.
544
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:27,640
What a fool I look now!
545
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:30,240
- Look here, Your...
- Shut up!
546
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,400
Your whole nation can go
and jump in the river!
547
00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:36,440
Go to the devil!
548
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:41,000
What a louse I've been
harbouring in my fur coat!
549
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:47,560
I much prefer Hungarians,
and even Hungarians I can't stand.
550
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:50,000
- What about your promises?
- I don't know of any.
551
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:54,000
I mean to your beloved Czechs!
It's in your speech.
552
00:55:54,240 --> 00:55:58,000
My coronation speech?
I'll cross it out, in red ink.
553
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:02,480
Yes! Now I see your true
colours. Your real reforms!
554
00:56:02,720 --> 00:56:05,920
No I realise.
There's no talking to you.
555
00:56:06,240 --> 00:56:08,720
- Goodbye Mr. Teacher.
- Goodbye.
556
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:12,760
Annihilate the Habsburg
breed! To the very roots!
557
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:15,120
Will you come and see us
sometimes?
558
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:17,040
Of course I will.
559
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:20,920
Stamp on the last,
the breed of vipers!
560
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:30,720
I curse your whole disgusting
Habsburg line!
561
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,040
Innkeeper, couldn't you
light a fire in here?
562
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:23,760
- Not until six.
- By then we'll be frozen stiff.
563
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:25,840
Come on then, let's finish
rehearsing.
564
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:29,960
Tomas, take it from
"...I deceived you Papa".
565
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:32,960
Couldn't we do "Hadrian
from Rimsa"?
566
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:36,760
We all know that one...
It would be a guaranteed success.
567
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:38,600
Friends, listen to me.
568
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:44,560
This play of mine is
a guaranteed winner.
569
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:48,760
We just can't keep on repeating
these stupid farces.
570
00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:53,040
We must educate the audience.
That's the mission of theatre.
571
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:58,240
Or "The Miller and his Child"!
We all know that one too.
572
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:03,160
We've had that one. Kopecky
did it here with his puppets.
573
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:08,600
All right, so you're still upset
about "The Cross-Eyed Tailor".
574
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:10,800
I admit it wasn't one of my best.
575
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:17,160
But "The Hour of Truth" is
incomparably better.
576
00:58:17,440 --> 00:58:21,120
The protagonist Tomas Edel
will appeal to these folks.
577
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:22,440
Just imagine it!
578
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:27,120
Lied to all his life, and
he suddenly discovers the truth.
579
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:31,800
- Well, I wouldn't be worried.
- Of course not! Thanks Charles.
580
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:38,560
They'd go for The Miller again.
And we're better than puppets.
581
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:40,880
- Well...
- Friends,
582
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:46,320
I guarantee that "Hour of Truth"
will have them applauding.
583
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:49,360
This time you'll be taking
bows as well.
584
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:51,480
You know what?
585
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:59,800
As far as I'm concerned
I'm not going to risk it.
586
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:04,720
I'll take the ticket money, pack
up and meet you in Pelhrimov.
587
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,880
I hope we finish with
"Wind from the Mountains"?
588
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:12,720
But that's unnecessary Aggie.
This time we'll manage without.
589
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:15,960
- "Wind" must be there or I won't be.
- That little scene always works.
590
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:17,960
I can't see any reason why
she shouldn't do it.
591
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:19,640
Me neither...
592
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:24,200
- Better safe than sorry.
- It's the best you've written.
593
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:30,080
Oh all right then, we'll
keep it in reserve.
594
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:36,080
I couldn't sleep, I couldn't
stop thinking about it.
595
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:39,480
I looked for you, but
couldn't find you anywhere.
596
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:41,320
I went for a walk.
597
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:45,280
And then I saw her.
598
00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:51,600
She wore a black mantle
and a veil over her face.
599
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:56,800
That mysterious figure
in the garden was me.
600
00:59:57,120 --> 00:59:58,640
You Karla?
601
00:59:58,960 --> 01:00:01,080
But I thought it was Hedvika.
602
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:06,200
- Hedvika was giving birth to your
child at the time. - My child?
603
01:00:06,720 --> 01:00:09,280
But I thought it was
Adolf's child.
604
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:12,400
Adolf never even met Hedvika.
605
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:15,400
But if Hedvika gave birth
to my child...
606
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:18,680
- then you Karla must be...
- Yes, Tomas.
607
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:21,320
I'm your sister.
608
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:23,920
That's impossible!
609
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:26,600
She's right, Tomas.
610
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:31,440
- But brother-in-law, you said...
- I'm not your brother-in-law.
611
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:36,200
I don't belong to the family
at all. I'm a stranger.
612
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:38,760
But that entirely changes
the situation.
613
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:42,640
Not entirely. You see,
I'm not actually your aunt.
614
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:47,680
- You're not my aunt, Auntie?
- Don't call me Auntie. Not any more.
615
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:50,760
But if so, then I have been
deceiving you, Papa.
616
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:55,080
Don't reproach yourself, son.
In fact I'm not your father.
617
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:59,280
In fact I'm your son, papa.
618
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:02,960
And mama?
619
01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:06,080
She is your granny.
620
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:14,680
How awful. I'm an orphan then.
But that's not so important.
621
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:21,200
What's important thing is that
I've finally learnt the truth.
622
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:26,880
What rubbish!
623
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:28,520
Who do they think we are?
624
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:32,560
- Shame on you!
- I paid 50 hellers for this!
625
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,280
Go and get stuffed!
626
01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:36,720
Give us back our money!
627
01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:44,640
- Time for "Wind from the Mountains".
- Wind from the Mountains!
628
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:49,200
What's going on?
629
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:52,720
- A terrible wind is rising.
- The famous Mountain Wind.
630
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:54,920
My granddad used to tell
me about it.
631
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:57,680
It comes back every 100 years.
632
01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:03,600
Hold on tightly,
or it'll carry us all away.
633
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:08,800
Karla's already being blown away!
Catch her, somebody!
634
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:14,040
Look, my papa and mama,
I mean my son and granny,
635
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:16,720
can't withstand the wind either.
636
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:18,520
Help!
637
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:20,560
I can't hold out any longer!
638
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:23,320
My strength is leaving me!
639
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:26,720
I wonder if we'll ever see
each other again?
640
01:02:27,040 --> 01:02:29,640
The wind from the mountains
is pitiless.
641
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:36,160
Is it possible? It's carrying off
Vavak's fence like a feather.
642
01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:41,080
Look, Tomas, Vavak's pub!
643
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:45,640
It's flown off too.
644
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:50,480
Poor Vavak. He's lost everything.
645
01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:53,800
What's a couple of hellers for
a theatre ticket in comparison?
646
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:55,800
How very true.
647
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:56,960
Let's go!
648
01:02:57,200 --> 01:02:59,160
It's something people
should realise.
649
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:01,080
Get a move on!
650
01:03:03,120 --> 01:03:05,080
A storm!
651
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:09,280
Better turn off the lights or
lightning might hit the mains.
652
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:13,760
Friends!
Let us all stay in our places!
653
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:18,560
Anyone who moves is sure to
be struck dead by lightning.
654
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:24,600
Stay put! The awful mountain
wind is sure to drop soon.
655
01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:34,040
After his escape from Pacov
Cimrman's trail disappears.
656
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:40,120
It only reappears shortly before
the 1st World War in Liptakov.
657
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:48,560
- And it was here he died?
- It was here he was last seen.
658
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:52,440
- So where did he die?
- Perhaps he didn't die.
659
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:56,680
Well, no one can live forever.
660
01:03:56,960 --> 01:04:02,560
And 1914 was in a way
the end of his life story.
661
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:08,480
He belonged to the old days
before that First World War.
662
01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:11,920
And did you know him personally?
663
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:51,920
Little girl, where might I find
the teacher Miss Cimrman?
664
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:33,760
Your lady sister gave everything
to the village people.
665
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:37,680
Except she said to give Jara
her clothes, if he turns up.
666
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:41,080
That you used to wear
her cast-offs.
667
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:44,040
Yes, as a boy.
668
01:05:44,920 --> 01:05:47,040
Excuse me...
669
01:05:52,360 --> 01:05:54,000
Good morning.
670
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:57,640
Good morning, Mayor.
671
01:05:57,880 --> 01:05:59,920
Sit down, children.
672
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:02,320
Until the new teacher arrives,
673
01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:06,680
you'll be taught by the brother
of our late lamented teacher.
674
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:12,480
He'll be teaching you in Czech.
If anyone objects, Conrad,
675
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:15,720
his parents can send him
to the German school in town.
676
01:06:15,960 --> 01:06:21,720
- And mind you behave well!
- Goodbye Mr. Mayor.
677
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:28,320
Now then children, can you name
our great and famous Czechs?
678
01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:31,240
- Hus!
- Very good.
679
01:06:34,680 --> 01:06:35,840
Who else?
680
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:38,920
- Comenius.
- Right.
681
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:40,560
And you?
682
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:43,800
- Schiller.
- That's a German.
683
01:06:44,120 --> 01:06:45,920
Who else?
684
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:50,120
- Good morning!
- Good morning!
685
01:06:53,800 --> 01:06:55,000
Nobody else?
686
01:06:56,120 --> 01:07:00,120
- Well? - Smetana.
- Correct, Smetana.
687
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:09,160
Anyone else?
688
01:07:10,520 --> 01:07:14,960
Oh dear, I haven't introduced
myself. My name is Cimrman.
689
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:24,480
So how do you like our beer?
690
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:30,360
Marvellous. Czech beer is
the best in the world.
691
01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:32,000
Well, there's Bavarian...
692
01:07:32,280 --> 01:07:35,760
Well, we can debate about it,
we may even disagree with it,
693
01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:38,480
but there is nothing else
that can be done about it.
694
01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:41,560
If you only knew what swill
they drink abroad.
695
01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:44,920
In London, New York, Pest.
696
01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:49,960
Globe-trotter eh?
You a travelling salesman?
697
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:55,040
- I am primarily a writer.
- You don't say!
698
01:07:55,320 --> 01:07:58,800
- And what have you written?
- Mainly plays.
699
01:07:59,080 --> 01:08:01,960
The Burgtheater,
the famous theatre in Vienna,
700
01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:05,360
wanted to put on my piece
"Scribbled-on Cuffs".
701
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:11,760
It's all about secret policemen.
But the Archduke forbade it.
702
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:15,080
- He didn't like it then.
- He doesn't like me.
703
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:20,520
I don't like him either.
But I really miss his kids.
704
01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:23,320
How many beers have you had?
705
01:08:23,560 --> 01:08:24,760
This is my second.
706
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:29,080
From what you say I'd have
thought it was your tenth.
707
01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:38,040
Tyrs forces his Sokol movement
boys to climb polished poles.
708
01:08:39,400 --> 01:08:43,920
But, children, where can you
find polished poles in nature?
709
01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:46,680
So now vault over the goat!
710
01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:04,360
Teacher Sir, will we be vaulting
over horses as well?
711
01:09:04,680 --> 01:09:09,040
When you're bigger. We can only
take on tasks we're ready for.
712
01:09:09,320 --> 01:09:11,000
And now, children, follow me.
713
01:09:11,200 --> 01:09:13,200
Come here and I'll tell
you something.
714
01:09:18,440 --> 01:09:23,400
Look, children. In life you'll
meet obstacles.
715
01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:27,640
Tyrs says, "Jump, climb, but
never ever crawl!".
716
01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:30,720
But I say, "You can crawl too,
717
01:09:32,120 --> 01:09:34,000
but then stand up
straight again!".
718
01:09:34,240 --> 01:09:39,920
So now you. Crawl, stand up
straight, crawl, stand up...
719
01:09:47,320 --> 01:09:48,680
Well, that would work as well.
720
01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:52,640
Children, Tyrs would force you
to race in shorts.
721
01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:55,760
But Mary, when the gamekeeper
chased you out of the wood,
722
01:09:56,040 --> 01:09:59,160
did you have time to change
into shorts?
723
01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:06,800
So children,
Ready, steady, go!
724
01:10:07,560 --> 01:10:17,440
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, never mind...
725
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:20,400
nine, ten, eleven...
726
01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:25,400
It happened on the embankment
when the car stopped.
727
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:29,440
The papers say it was some
student or other.
728
01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:31,680
Don't you believe it!
729
01:10:32,200 --> 01:10:37,000
But it's in the papers. They read
it on the square in Tanvald.
730
01:10:37,240 --> 01:10:38,880
Look here...
731
01:10:39,400 --> 01:10:43,320
Group together kids,
hands behind your backs...
732
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:49,560
I'll believe that in Sarajevo
they shot at the archduke's car.
733
01:10:49,800 --> 01:10:53,560
But the archduke definitely
wasn't in it. Bet you anything!
734
01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:56,200
The papers say it was him!
735
01:10:56,440 --> 01:11:00,960
That's what they say now, maybe,
but when we get the real story
736
01:11:01,200 --> 01:11:06,000
they'll say it wasn't
the archduke but his double.
737
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:07,880
His double?
738
01:11:08,120 --> 01:11:09,440
Did you hear that?
739
01:11:10,840 --> 01:11:12,320
What did he say?
740
01:11:12,520 --> 01:11:15,000
That it was apparently
the archduke's double.
741
01:11:15,200 --> 01:11:17,120
The archduke's double!
742
01:11:18,040 --> 01:11:19,920
His name was Nyvlt.
743
01:11:20,160 --> 01:11:22,240
Apparently his name was Nyvlt!
744
01:11:25,320 --> 01:11:28,440
Nyvlt? Man alive,
stop pulling out legs like that!
745
01:11:28,920 --> 01:11:31,600
It would blow all our work
to the winds!
746
01:11:31,880 --> 01:11:38,080
But it's true. The archduke was
busy with his accession speech
747
01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:41,320
so Nyvlt used to go on his tours
for him.
748
01:11:41,680 --> 01:11:47,680
Look here, Mr. Cimrman.
A pious chap like the archduke,
749
01:11:47,960 --> 01:11:52,640
wouldn't write a funeral speech
before the emperor was dead.
750
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:54,840
That would be blasphemy!
751
01:11:55,120 --> 01:11:56,680
Friends...
752
01:11:58,120 --> 01:12:04,560
What seems like blasphemy to you,
is common in high politics.
753
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:08,680
The emperor dies,
the heir sits on his throne,
754
01:12:08,920 --> 01:12:11,960
and can't start hurriedly
writing some speech just then.
755
01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:15,000
He already has to have his
accession speech in his pocket.
756
01:12:15,240 --> 01:12:19,520
And it always begins
with how the emperor is dead.
757
01:12:19,800 --> 01:12:23,000
And that's just how me and
the archduke wrote it:
758
01:12:23,480 --> 01:12:25,480
My nations!
759
01:12:25,960 --> 01:12:27,760
Broken with pain,
760
01:12:27,960 --> 01:12:33,280
the nations stand over the coffin
of the immortalised emperor.
761
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:36,520
I just don't believe
762
01:12:38,360 --> 01:12:42,800
that the old emperor would
let himself be buried alive.
763
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:46,480
The emperor...
764
01:12:47,600 --> 01:12:50,240
will outlive us all.
765
01:13:05,240 --> 01:13:09,680
The emperor will outlive us all.
766
01:13:54,360 --> 01:13:58,360
Yes! Here it comes. My nations!
767
01:13:58,760 --> 01:14:01,680
So the archduke's day has come
after all.
768
01:14:01,960 --> 01:14:06,760
I wonder if he left it the way
we composed it...
769
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:11,320
It was my most ardent wish
to be able to save my nations
770
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:14,600
from the grievous sacrifices
of war...
771
01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:15,920
I don't know that bit.
772
01:14:16,120 --> 01:14:20,320
The machinations of the enemy
force me after years of peace
773
01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:23,440
to take up the sword.
Franz Josef I.
774
01:14:23,640 --> 01:14:27,800
- The Serb isn't one to give in.
- So the emperor wants war?
775
01:14:28,080 --> 01:14:29,640
That new minister does.
776
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:32,520
Who knows where it will
all end?
777
01:14:33,320 --> 01:14:40,080
Children, today is goodbye day
so I shall run and you count.
778
01:14:40,520 --> 01:14:43,080
Konrad, make me
a starting line!
779
01:14:47,120 --> 01:14:51,000
- And you Mary, give me a signal.
- Ready, steady...
780
01:14:51,560 --> 01:14:56,360
Children, I also wanted to tell
you to obey your new teacher,
781
01:14:56,600 --> 01:15:01,440
and compete honourably
and always count slower,
782
01:15:01,720 --> 01:15:04,840
for the little ones.
783
01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:08,080
- So now Mary...
- Ready, steady...
784
01:15:08,360 --> 01:15:10,720
Please teacher,
Henlein's crying!
785
01:15:11,120 --> 01:15:13,840
Henlein, why are you crying?
What's the matter?
786
01:15:15,480 --> 01:15:17,160
I don't know.
787
01:15:19,240 --> 01:15:22,480
Konrad, crying won't put
anything right.
788
01:15:23,240 --> 01:15:27,160
This war isn't history's
last word.
789
01:15:27,400 --> 01:15:30,520
You will live to see
different times.
790
01:15:30,760 --> 01:15:32,720
Now I must dash.
791
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:35,400
Ready, steady, go!
792
01:15:35,960 --> 01:15:47,280
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten...
793
01:15:57,320 --> 01:16:00,200
The children counted and counted,
794
01:16:00,440 --> 01:16:06,960
and then the sun went down
but Cimrman hadn't returned.
795
01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:12,480
And then the angelus sounded
and the children had to go home.
796
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:18,120
Probably they realised their
teacher wasn't coming back.
797
01:16:18,600 --> 01:16:24,800
...off to fight the Serb,
don't know why, don't know why...
798
01:16:27,480 --> 01:16:30,880
Tralala...
799
01:17:14,920 --> 01:17:19,840
Tum - tum tum ta -
tum tum tum tum tum ta...
800
01:17:28,600 --> 01:17:31,640
Excuse me, can one view any
manuscripts in the museum?
801
01:17:31,880 --> 01:17:34,760
- Yes.
- And could I stay over?
802
01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:37,640
You can sleep
in the history feathers.
803
01:17:37,880 --> 01:17:40,080
But you mustn't smoke there.
804
01:17:48,360 --> 01:17:53,680
I was tormented by an idea
so fantastic,
805
01:17:53,960 --> 01:17:56,280
that I was afraid to express
it even to myself.
806
01:17:59,800 --> 01:18:04,200
But it led me to do something
I would condemn in anyone else.
807
01:18:05,000 --> 01:18:09,400
To peek through the window
to see that old lady on her own.
63972
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