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1
00:00:01,650 --> 00:00:04,219
- Blue 32. Hi-hi-hike!
- Brad, go long.
2
00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:06,821
All right.
3
00:00:06,823 --> 00:00:10,058
- Deeper! Deeper!
- Deep this, Mini Montana.
4
00:00:10,060 --> 00:00:13,061
- We were just about to take that outside.
- Nice try.
5
00:00:13,063 --> 00:00:15,130
Is Mom home?
6
00:00:15,132 --> 00:00:16,597
No.
7
00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:19,367
Great! Go long by the couch.
Give me a down.
8
00:00:22,471 --> 00:00:23,938
All right!
9
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:26,340
Hey, didn't you sign up
for an elective today?
10
00:00:26,342 --> 00:00:27,842
Yeah. Let's go, Randy.
11
00:00:27,844 --> 00:00:30,044
No, wait a minute.
I'm real proud of you.
12
00:00:30,046 --> 00:00:33,882
Your first year of shop -
the Year of the Ashtray.
13
00:00:35,617 --> 00:00:38,319
Actually, Brad's taking home ec.
14
00:00:38,321 --> 00:00:39,553
What?
15
00:00:39,555 --> 00:00:43,992
- This is the Year of the Muffin.
- No way!
16
00:00:43,994 --> 00:00:45,426
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
17
00:00:45,428 --> 00:00:48,062
Home ec?
You really gotta take shop.
18
00:00:48,064 --> 00:00:51,933
It's where you learn about tools, building
things, tearing stuff down, and...
19
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:56,070
Yeah, but home ec
is me and 30 girls.
20
00:00:56,072 --> 00:00:59,207
What do you wanna be
around 30 girls for?
21
00:00:59,209 --> 00:01:02,410
Oh-ho-ho! I catch you.
22
00:01:02,412 --> 00:01:04,712
Before you go jumping
in a room with 30 girls,
23
00:01:04,714 --> 00:01:06,915
you really should take shop.
24
00:01:06,917 --> 00:01:09,050
Why?
25
00:01:09,052 --> 00:01:11,752
Shop prepares you for women.
26
00:01:11,754 --> 00:01:15,456
You learn how to cut wood.
How to sever a finger.
27
00:01:15,458 --> 00:01:17,358
You learn pain.
28
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,593
Then you're ready for women.
29
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:27,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
30
00:02:30,399 --> 00:02:32,799
Well, what do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?
31
00:02:54,023 --> 00:02:56,090
Hey, Tool Man! Oh!
32
00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:59,193
I watch you on TV all the time.
I love you.
33
00:02:59,195 --> 00:03:00,962
I love you too. Who are you?
34
00:03:00,964 --> 00:03:02,263
Joe Morton, your new neighbor.
35
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,497
I just moved into the house
across the alley.
36
00:03:03,499 --> 00:03:06,700
- Hey, all right. I saw the moving van.
- Uh-huh.
37
00:03:06,702 --> 00:03:08,469
Did I see a 50-inch-square TV?
38
00:03:08,471 --> 00:03:10,071
Know what's great
on the big screen?
39
00:03:10,073 --> 00:03:12,273
What? Tool Time!
40
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,943
Welcome to the neighborhood.
What line of work you in?
41
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,845
I'm in meat. You're The
Tool Man, I'm The Meat Man.
42
00:03:17,847 --> 00:03:20,081
- Morton Meats. You heard of us?
- Yeah!
43
00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,550
Yeah. Eight locations.
Best meat in the Midwest.
44
00:03:22,552 --> 00:03:24,819
You want a pen?
45
00:03:24,821 --> 00:03:28,222
There's a cow on there. Yeah.
46
00:03:28,224 --> 00:03:30,591
Turn it upside down,
see what she does.
47
00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:36,897
Kind of like "moo" power.
48
00:03:36,899 --> 00:03:40,501
That's great. This hot rod's a beaut.
What year?
49
00:03:40,503 --> 00:03:42,703
- This is '33.
- Oh, really?
50
00:03:42,705 --> 00:03:45,682
Look more like a '34 body
on a '33 chassis to me.
51
00:03:45,713 --> 00:03:46,774
No, it's all '33.
52
00:03:46,776 --> 00:03:49,377
I'm no expert, but I go to
the hot rod show every year.
53
00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:52,813
Well, Meat Man, I built
it myself. It's a '33.
54
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,749
So, I guess a big-time cable TV host
like you makes out pretty good, huh?
55
00:03:55,751 --> 00:03:59,454
I guess you could say I got the highest
credit limit allowed at Sears.
56
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:04,359
Still, you can't be making Bob Vila
money, right? He's on real TV.
57
00:04:04,361 --> 00:04:08,062
It's common knowledge that Vila's
overpaid for what he does.
58
00:04:08,064 --> 00:04:10,865
- Oh, I hit a nerve, huh?
- I really don't want you sitting on that.
59
00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:13,868
Yeah, sure. Whatever you're
making, you must be doing OK.
60
00:04:13,870 --> 00:04:16,104
- Yeah.
- Bought you one of these babies.
61
00:04:16,106 --> 00:04:19,207
- I'm OK. I'm OK. Don't worry about me.
- I wasn't.
62
00:04:19,209 --> 00:04:23,711
- What kind of grill is that?
- Well, it's, um...
63
00:04:23,713 --> 00:04:27,115
Oh! It's a dented reproduction
of a '33 roadster.
64
00:04:27,117 --> 00:04:30,051
Just tell me how much it cost.
I'll give you the cash now.
65
00:04:30,053 --> 00:04:32,653
It was an accident.
I can pound that out.
66
00:04:32,655 --> 00:04:35,923
I just figured I'd drive it
before I put a dent in it.
67
00:04:35,925 --> 00:04:37,925
That's funny!
68
00:04:37,927 --> 00:04:39,994
I like that, you can
just shake things off.
69
00:04:39,996 --> 00:04:42,263
I'm gonna get back
on this windshield.
70
00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:44,332
Don't mind me.
I'm a fly on the wall.
71
00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:47,768
Wish I had some
insect repellent.
72
00:04:47,770 --> 00:04:51,272
I'll just buzz around and watch.
All right.
73
00:04:59,482 --> 00:05:01,715
I really got
something to do inside.
74
00:05:01,717 --> 00:05:03,784
- What is it?
- A little problem.
75
00:05:03,786 --> 00:05:05,986
What's wrong?
What's wrong? Uh...
76
00:05:05,988 --> 00:05:08,122
It's my wife.
77
00:05:08,124 --> 00:05:09,823
She's got this condition.
78
00:05:09,825 --> 00:05:12,160
I gotta go wake her up,
dress her,
79
00:05:12,162 --> 00:05:14,628
pour coffee down her throat
to get her going.
80
00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:17,031
I hear you, buddy.
81
00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:18,732
No, that's not it...
82
00:05:18,734 --> 00:05:21,001
Timmy, it's nothing
to be ashamed of.
83
00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:24,038
I see you on TV, I figure
there's a guy who got it made.
84
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,774
Now I find out there's a dark
side to The Tool Man.
85
00:05:26,776 --> 00:05:30,545
Hm. Take care, buddy.
Here's your paper.
86
00:05:32,013 --> 00:05:34,014
Beauty!
87
00:05:39,087 --> 00:05:41,089
Does everybody know
what time it is?
88
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:43,224
- Tool Time!
- That's right.
89
00:05:43,226 --> 00:05:47,795
Binford Tools is proud to present
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor! Whoo!
90
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,069
Thank you, Heidi.
91
00:05:55,071 --> 00:05:57,938
Welcome to Tool Time.
I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
92
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:01,342
Y'all know my assistant, Al "God knows
what's under that beard" Borland.
93
00:06:03,545 --> 00:06:06,847
Today Al and I
will be talking about fencing.
94
00:06:06,849 --> 00:06:10,351
In order to do that,
I'm gonna need my dueling dowel.
95
00:06:10,353 --> 00:06:13,221
- Heidi?
- Here you go, Tim.
96
00:06:13,223 --> 00:06:15,923
- Thanks, Heidi.
- You're welcome.
97
00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:21,365
En garde, big fella.
Come on, Flannel Man.
98
00:06:21,396 --> 00:06:22,396
Tim.
99
00:06:22,398 --> 00:06:24,465
Tim. Tim.
100
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,899
He's scared.
101
00:06:25,901 --> 00:06:28,902
This is not the type of fencing
we're talking about.
102
00:06:28,904 --> 00:06:31,439
We're talking
about the classic...
103
00:07:02,103 --> 00:07:05,506
Fencing champion,
Gilmore High, 1976.
104
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,776
- Al and I have done this to prove a point.
- No, we haven't.
105
00:07:08,778 --> 00:07:11,512
Just as Al defended
himself against me,
106
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:14,014
a sturdy fence is a great way
to defend your home -
107
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:17,251
the best way to keep out dogs,
cats and a pesky neighbor.
108
00:07:17,253 --> 00:07:21,055
The good thing is, you don't have to
be a master carpenter to build one.
109
00:07:21,057 --> 00:07:23,324
- A big plus for you, Tim.
- Could be.
110
00:07:23,326 --> 00:07:26,194
As I said, this is the classic
alternate-board fence.
111
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:29,263
We wanna show you how
to keep that fence plumb.
112
00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:31,699
For that, we need a jig.
Tim, the jig?
113
00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:44,478
This will help keep your fence
plumb, as well as help with spacing.
114
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,714
While Al's fiddling
around with his plumb,
115
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,350
I'll discuss another way
to stop a pesky neighbor.
116
00:07:49,352 --> 00:07:51,252
You guessed it,
electrical shock.
117
00:07:53,122 --> 00:07:56,824
To demonstrate that, we've installed
an invisible doggy fence.
118
00:07:56,826 --> 00:07:59,560
We have? Yes. Right
through the floor here.
119
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:03,464
Now, Foo Foo
wears a special collar.
120
00:08:03,466 --> 00:08:06,867
When attached to him,
it activates the fence.
121
00:08:06,869 --> 00:08:09,437
If Foo Foo were dumb
enough to try to stray,
122
00:08:09,439 --> 00:08:11,639
he gets a mild,
correctional shock.
123
00:08:11,641 --> 00:08:13,941
Grr.
124
00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:17,811
Grr!
125
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:24,151
Now, this will work on
that pesky neighbor...
126
00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:27,488
if you can get him
to wear the collar.
127
00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:29,890
Al, won't you be my neighbor?
128
00:08:33,395 --> 00:08:35,254
I don't think so, Tim.
129
00:08:35,285 --> 00:08:36,664
Let's get back to
building that fence.
130
00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:37,965
We're gonna need more slats,
131
00:08:37,967 --> 00:08:40,934
so if you'll walk over
and grab those slats for me,
132
00:08:40,936 --> 00:08:42,703
we can finish it.
133
00:08:42,705 --> 00:08:44,705
Sure thing.
134
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,514
Could you get me
those nails there, Tim?
135
00:09:09,965 --> 00:09:13,033
So I said to the salesman, "Either
give me a new pair of pantyhose,
136
00:09:13,035 --> 00:09:15,102
or I'll strangle
you with these."
137
00:09:15,104 --> 00:09:18,439
Marie, you are
so good with people.
138
00:09:18,441 --> 00:09:20,240
You know, you gotta love you.
139
00:09:20,242 --> 00:09:22,576
I learned that in therapy.
140
00:09:22,578 --> 00:09:25,746
This may come as a surprise to you,
but I used to be a meek person.
141
00:09:25,748 --> 00:09:28,582
Oh, so was I.
Until we moved to Texas.
142
00:09:28,584 --> 00:09:31,485
You can't be meek in Texas -
it's a state law.
143
00:09:33,154 --> 00:09:35,756
- Can you get this?
- Oh, yeah.
144
00:09:35,758 --> 00:09:39,360
Thanks a lot, Jill. I know I'll find
ours as soon as I finish unpacking.
145
00:09:39,362 --> 00:09:42,262
Don't worry about it.
We always have extra toasters.
146
00:09:42,264 --> 00:09:45,499
Tim goes through them quickly.
147
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:49,169
- How about a piece of cake?
- I'd love some.
148
00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:51,004
But I really shouldn't -
149
00:09:51,006 --> 00:09:53,040
my therapist says
I have food issues.
150
00:09:53,042 --> 00:09:55,676
Oh, please! Who doesn't?
151
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:59,246
- So you're in therapy?
- Yeah. Started two weeks ago.
152
00:09:59,248 --> 00:10:01,415
I got a coupon.
153
00:10:03,251 --> 00:10:06,320
Discount therapy!
This is an interesting idea.
154
00:10:06,322 --> 00:10:07,621
Maybe I shouldn't tempt you.
155
00:10:07,623 --> 00:10:12,493
What does that therapist know?
He accepts coupons!
156
00:10:12,495 --> 00:10:14,695
So how about
a little piece, then?
157
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,431
- How about a big hunk?
- OK!
158
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:20,901
Tim, I want you to come
over here and meet Marie.
159
00:10:20,903 --> 00:10:23,764
She's volunteered to help me
with the library fundraiser.
160
00:10:23,795 --> 00:10:24,972
You finally hooked somebody.
161
00:10:24,974 --> 00:10:26,740
Yeah. I got a piece of
cake out of the deal, too.
162
00:10:26,771 --> 00:10:27,808
Nice to meet you, Marie.
163
00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:29,510
- Hi, handsome. Thank you.
- There you go.
164
00:10:29,512 --> 00:10:32,045
I want to sit and chitchat, but
I'm gonna go put the grill on.
165
00:10:32,047 --> 00:10:33,280
I'll show it to you later.
166
00:10:33,282 --> 00:10:35,516
I thought you already
did that today.
167
00:10:35,518 --> 00:10:37,685
I didn't tell you.
I met our new neighbor,
168
00:10:37,687 --> 00:10:41,589
Mr. Meat Man, Mr. Obnoxious.
169
00:10:41,591 --> 00:10:45,192
This guy comes over,
breaks the grill...
170
00:10:45,194 --> 00:10:47,728
Did he happen to give you a pen?
171
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,797
Yeah, with a big cow on.
Know the guy?
172
00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:53,066
- Mm, I'm married to him.
- Oh, yeah!
173
00:10:56,638 --> 00:11:01,442
Wait a minute. I said "obnoxious"
- I meant "gregarious."
174
00:11:01,444 --> 00:11:03,343
Listen, no need
to explain to me.
175
00:11:03,345 --> 00:11:06,113
I call him a lot worse,
believe me.
176
00:11:06,115 --> 00:11:08,115
I gotta go home, Jill.
I gotta cook some supper.
177
00:11:08,117 --> 00:11:10,384
But you didn't finish your cake!
I'm taking it with me.
178
00:11:10,386 --> 00:11:13,954
- Oh, OK. I'll walk you out. All right.
- See you later, dollface.
179
00:11:13,956 --> 00:11:15,989
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, Tim.
180
00:11:15,991 --> 00:11:19,159
While I'm gone, can you try to
get your foot out of your mouth?
181
00:11:20,529 --> 00:11:23,764
- I'm gonna pound you!
- Hey, hey, cut it out.
182
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:26,901
You're supposed to be setting
the table. What's going on?
183
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:31,371
Word got out about
lover boy's idea to meet girls.
184
00:11:31,373 --> 00:11:34,608
Every guy in the seventh grade
signed up for home ec.
185
00:11:36,945 --> 00:11:42,783
Dad, they put us in separate
class - 30 boys and no girls.
186
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,853
And we have to sew!
187
00:11:45,855 --> 00:11:47,521
I'd like to help you out, Brad,
I really would.
188
00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:50,658
But I got a whole drawer full
of socks that need darning.
189
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:51,992
Man!
190
00:11:51,994 --> 00:11:55,028
And maybe after that
you can crochet me a sweater.
191
00:11:55,030 --> 00:11:56,764
Yeah.
192
00:11:56,766 --> 00:12:00,200
- You gotta still set that table!
- No running in the house!
193
00:12:00,202 --> 00:12:02,770
Nice going, as usual, Tim!
194
00:12:02,772 --> 00:12:06,540
I smoothed it over, though. We're having
dinner with Joe and Marie on Saturday.
195
00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:09,677
We don't wanna do that!
196
00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:11,479
I do. I like Marie.
197
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,514
I don't like Joe.
You don't know that guy.
198
00:12:13,516 --> 00:12:15,483
You only spent a couple
of minutes with him.
199
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,486
And he's loud, obnoxious,
thinks he knows about cars.
200
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,355
Why does this sound familiar?
201
00:12:21,357 --> 00:12:26,527
Oh, look, you like Marie?
Why don't you go out with Marie?
202
00:12:26,529 --> 00:12:29,463
Come on, they're new in the neighborhood.
They don't know anybody.
203
00:12:29,465 --> 00:12:32,733
Besides, it's an opportunity for us to
go out with another couple for a change.
204
00:12:32,735 --> 00:12:35,870
Well, pick another couple.
How about Jack and Suzanne?
205
00:12:35,872 --> 00:12:37,872
They don't like you.
206
00:12:40,174 --> 00:12:42,543
We could go out with the couple
we went out with last weekend?
207
00:12:42,545 --> 00:12:45,846
Al and his mother
do not constitute a couple.
208
00:12:47,949 --> 00:12:51,118
Al's mother by herself constitutes
a couple. "Where's the meat?"
209
00:12:53,688 --> 00:12:55,492
You're going!
210
00:13:06,034 --> 00:13:09,403
Grr!
211
00:13:09,405 --> 00:13:11,805
I'll tell you what.
Let's just go to the salad bar -
212
00:13:11,807 --> 00:13:13,707
we can be out of here
in one hour.
213
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,242
Oh, right. And if we don't chew,
214
00:13:15,244 --> 00:13:17,277
we can be out of here
in five minutes.
215
00:13:19,414 --> 00:13:22,215
Hey, Tool Man! Oh!
216
00:13:22,217 --> 00:13:24,117
Finally, I'm meeting
Mrs. Tool Man.
217
00:13:24,119 --> 00:13:25,352
Honey, honey, her name's Jill.
218
00:13:25,354 --> 00:13:28,221
- Hey, Jill.
- Hi, Joe.
219
00:13:28,223 --> 00:13:30,558
- Come here. I'm a hugger.
- I'm a shaker.
220
00:13:32,761 --> 00:13:34,628
Sit down! Sit down, please.
221
00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:36,864
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
222
00:13:36,866 --> 00:13:39,332
Tonight everything's
on The Meat Man.
223
00:13:39,334 --> 00:13:42,209
Don't even look at the prices.
Order whatever you want.
224
00:13:42,263 --> 00:13:43,670
Ah, chicken I'll have.
225
00:13:43,701 --> 00:13:46,674
You don't come to a place like the Chuck
House for chicken. You want steak.
226
00:13:46,676 --> 00:13:47,942
Honey, let him order
what he wants.
227
00:13:47,944 --> 00:13:49,877
Why don't you try the steak?
228
00:13:49,879 --> 00:13:52,512
I don't want the steak.
I'd like the chicken.
229
00:13:52,514 --> 00:13:55,849
But you can get chicken anywhere.
I like the chicken here.
230
00:13:55,851 --> 00:13:58,218
No, you want the steak here.
They make it so rare,
231
00:13:58,220 --> 00:14:00,921
you need eight rolls
to sop up the blood.
232
00:14:02,290 --> 00:14:04,524
I think I'll have the chicken.
233
00:14:04,526 --> 00:14:06,994
Jill, you gotta have the steak.
234
00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:09,379
It's just what the doctor
ordered for your condition.
235
00:14:09,410 --> 00:14:11,765
- What condition?
- Tell us about the steaks.
236
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:15,168
- I told you, she doesn't have a condition.
- Tim said she did.
237
00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:19,573
He's right you can go anywhere
for chicken. Let's have steaks.
238
00:14:19,575 --> 00:14:22,476
And what condition
would that be, Tim?
239
00:14:22,478 --> 00:14:23,744
Tim said you got no pep
240
00:14:23,746 --> 00:14:26,814
and you stay in bed
for days at a time.
241
00:14:26,816 --> 00:14:30,751
- And why did you say that?!
- I didn't say that.
242
00:14:30,753 --> 00:14:32,586
- Yeah, you did.
- I did not.
243
00:14:32,588 --> 00:14:34,254
Then what did you say?
244
00:14:38,526 --> 00:14:41,962
I was in the garage. I can't remember what
I say in the garage 'cause of the fumes.
245
00:14:43,798 --> 00:14:46,199
Look, the drinks are here.
Oh, boy.
246
00:14:46,201 --> 00:14:49,302
We didn't order any drinks.
Joe took the liberty.
247
00:14:49,304 --> 00:14:51,772
For the three of us,
I got Cabernet Sauvignon.
248
00:14:51,774 --> 00:14:54,808
And for you, Jill,
I got, uh... this.
249
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:58,779
- What is this?
- It's a Shirley Temple.
250
00:14:58,781 --> 00:15:02,382
Yeah, Tim told me about
your other little problem.
251
00:15:05,286 --> 00:15:09,123
Excuse me, waitress? Can you bring
us some extra rolls, please?
252
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:11,424
I'm gonna need 'em
to sop up all the blood.
253
00:15:29,377 --> 00:15:31,779
I'm never gonna finish
this stupid hat.
254
00:15:32,248 --> 00:15:36,650
Well, then you won't get a chance to
make the skirt that goes with it.
255
00:15:36,652 --> 00:15:38,819
How'd you like a split lip?
256
00:15:38,821 --> 00:15:42,622
Great. You'd get extra credit
for sewing it back up.
257
00:15:42,624 --> 00:15:46,860
Hey, hey! All right, all right!
Cool down, you guys.
258
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,796
Randy, don't make fun
of your brother.
259
00:15:48,798 --> 00:15:53,834
Sewing is a valuable skill
that has served me well.
260
00:15:53,836 --> 00:15:55,717
You know how to sew?
261
00:15:56,248 --> 00:15:57,543
You're darn tootin'!
262
00:15:57,685 --> 00:16:01,408
And I learned to sew
in the navy.
263
00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:03,410
I didn't know
you were in the navy.
264
00:16:03,412 --> 00:16:05,345
Signed up when I was 18.
265
00:16:05,347 --> 00:16:08,315
Wanted to travel the world,
cast my fortune to the wind,
266
00:16:08,317 --> 00:16:10,650
sail the seven seas.
267
00:16:10,921 --> 00:16:12,600
Where'd you sail?
268
00:16:13,422 --> 00:16:15,374
Nowhere.
269
00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:19,292
I was stationed
in Fallon, Nevada.
270
00:16:22,264 --> 00:16:23,797
Holy smokes,
your folks are home!
271
00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:26,900
Quick, turn that off.
Get up to bed.
272
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,602
Mark! Mark, wake up.
273
00:16:28,604 --> 00:16:32,005
Wake up, you gotta go to sleep.
274
00:16:32,007 --> 00:16:34,474
But I was sleeping.
275
00:16:37,323 --> 00:16:40,580
Hi. Hey.
So, how was the evening?
276
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:43,483
- Great. I'm hungry.
- I thought you went out to dinner.
277
00:16:43,485 --> 00:16:46,419
His steak was a little rare.
278
00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:49,056
A little rare?
That steak had a bell on it!
279
00:16:52,994 --> 00:16:54,361
Where are those cookies?
280
00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:55,914
I ate them.
281
00:16:57,179 --> 00:16:58,265
All of 'em?
282
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,168
You're not paying me. You said
I could eat whatever I wanted.
283
00:17:03,138 --> 00:17:04,671
Don't pay any attention to him.
284
00:17:04,673 --> 00:17:09,409
He's probably just upset because his
wife has severe emotional problems.
285
00:17:09,411 --> 00:17:12,712
I told Joe that to get him out of
the garage. We've discussed this.
286
00:17:12,714 --> 00:17:15,415
So you said,
"My wife is a slug"?
287
00:17:16,985 --> 00:17:19,653
I was desperate.
Where are those little sausages?
288
00:17:22,637 --> 00:17:24,658
Al, Tim told our new neighbors
289
00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:28,662
that I was a depressed alcoholic
with a sleeping disorder.
290
00:17:28,664 --> 00:17:31,131
Only an insensitive jerk
would have repeated that.
291
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,600
If you wanted those sausages,
you should have told me.
292
00:17:33,602 --> 00:17:35,669
Would you shut up?!
293
00:17:35,671 --> 00:17:39,106
- This isn't Al's problem.
- No, the problem is The Meat Man.
294
00:17:39,108 --> 00:17:41,374
No, the problem is your
brain serves no function
295
00:17:41,376 --> 00:17:43,343
other than keeping your
head from caving in!
296
00:17:50,451 --> 00:17:51,833
Wilson.
297
00:17:53,654 --> 00:17:55,488
Wilson!
298
00:17:58,159 --> 00:17:59,492
Wilson.
299
00:18:10,171 --> 00:18:13,273
- Tim?
- Wilson, you up?
300
00:18:14,909 --> 00:18:16,977
I am now.
301
00:18:16,979 --> 00:18:19,079
Have you ever had
a real annoying neighbor?
302
00:18:24,953 --> 00:18:27,221
Tim, is this a trick question?
303
00:18:29,157 --> 00:18:31,258
No, I'm talking about
that guy next door to me.
304
00:18:31,260 --> 00:18:33,193
He just moved in - Joe.
305
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:35,662
He's already bugging me.
306
00:18:37,198 --> 00:18:39,799
I know the feeling, Tim.
307
00:18:40,096 --> 00:18:42,569
That guy is such
a pain in the butt.
308
00:18:42,571 --> 00:18:44,604
Just being around him
gives me a headache.
309
00:18:44,606 --> 00:18:47,474
Tim, you wouldn't happen to have
an aspirin on you, would you?
310
00:18:48,820 --> 00:18:50,391
What would you do?
311
00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:53,213
Well, what I would do, when I'm face-to
face with an irksome individual,
312
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:57,050
I always say look
for the good in people.
313
00:18:58,253 --> 00:19:01,054
- Huh. And that works?
- Most of the time.
314
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,655
And if it doesn't...
315
00:19:02,657 --> 00:19:04,091
I take his ball away.
316
00:19:12,176 --> 00:19:14,167
Hey, Tool Man.
317
00:19:14,169 --> 00:19:15,835
Boy, you're jumpy!
318
00:19:15,837 --> 00:19:17,637
Do you ever use
the front door, Joe?
319
00:19:17,639 --> 00:19:19,973
You really got me
in hot water with your wife.
320
00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:22,943
I kept trying to figure out why
you'd tell me a lie like that.
321
00:19:22,945 --> 00:19:25,603
Then it comes to me.
322
00:19:26,715 --> 00:19:30,217
- You're having an affair, right?
- No, I'm not having an affair.
323
00:19:30,219 --> 00:19:32,873
OK, then I know what it is.
324
00:19:32,904 --> 00:19:34,187
You hate me.
325
00:19:34,189 --> 00:19:35,822
I wouldn't say that...
326
00:19:35,824 --> 00:19:38,625
Hey, don't apologize.
327
00:19:38,627 --> 00:19:40,493
I know The Meat Man
comes on strong sometimes.
328
00:19:40,495 --> 00:19:42,595
I'm not everybody's cut of beef.
329
00:19:45,756 --> 00:19:46,741
I'm sorry.
330
00:19:46,772 --> 00:19:49,702
Hey, look. I'm the one who should
apologize for that stupid story.
331
00:19:49,704 --> 00:19:52,639
Well, I should learn
how to let people eat chicken.
332
00:19:52,641 --> 00:19:55,075
Anyway, Tool Man,
I got something for you.
333
00:19:55,077 --> 00:19:57,311
That's all right, Joe.
You didn't need to do that.
334
00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:02,715
Hey!
335
00:20:02,717 --> 00:20:04,851
Hey!
336
00:20:04,853 --> 00:20:06,386
This is an original '33.
337
00:20:06,388 --> 00:20:09,856
Yeah, well, I felt real bad
about denting your fake one.
338
00:20:12,393 --> 00:20:13,791
These are impossible to find.
339
00:20:13,822 --> 00:20:16,129
- I looked for two years.
- Not for The Meat Man.
340
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:18,298
I called in a few favors,
drove to Ohio,
341
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,968
bingo-bango,
you got yourself a grill.
342
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,570
The grill of my dreams!
343
00:20:25,706 --> 00:20:30,410
This must have cost a fortune. Don't
worry about it. I'm doing great.
344
00:20:30,412 --> 00:20:33,947
When the hot rod's all done, give me a spin
around the block, we'll call it even, OK?
345
00:20:33,949 --> 00:20:36,416
- You got it.
- See you around, buddy.
346
00:20:38,252 --> 00:20:40,653
Thanks, Joe.
347
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:44,891
- Was that Joe's voice I heard?
- Yeah.
348
00:20:44,893 --> 00:20:46,526
Look what he did.
349
00:20:46,528 --> 00:20:50,730
He found an original grill
for the '33 - an original!
350
00:20:50,732 --> 00:20:54,634
You know, like I always say,
351
00:20:54,636 --> 00:20:56,926
you just gotta find
the good in people.
352
00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:00,440
So now you like The Meat Man?
353
00:21:00,442 --> 00:21:02,542
Yeah, I like Meat Man.
354
00:21:03,314 --> 00:21:07,080
And honey, I apologize for making up
that stupid story. I was out of line.
355
00:21:07,082 --> 00:21:11,318
But you know what? If you and Marie
want to go out as a couples, I'm in.
356
00:21:12,012 --> 00:21:14,521
Marie and I definitely wanna
go out as couples. All right.
357
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,923
We just gotta find
two other guys.
358
00:21:21,396 --> 00:21:25,999
Yeah, Jerry. Oh, you want us
to see your vacation videos?
359
00:21:26,001 --> 00:21:28,968
Oh, that's too bad.
We can't do it.
360
00:21:28,970 --> 00:21:31,638
No, no. Tim's working late.
361
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,301
No, he's not here.
362
00:21:34,076 --> 00:21:37,244
I'm so sorry.
Maybe some other time.
363
00:21:37,246 --> 00:21:40,380
OK, bye-bye.
364
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:44,617
Liar, liar, bra's on fire!
365
00:21:44,619 --> 00:21:46,453
So you wanna go to over
to Jerry and Sheila's,
366
00:21:46,455 --> 00:21:48,821
and watch them argue
their way through Europe?
367
00:21:48,823 --> 00:21:52,125
That's not the point. Why is it I can't
lie about you and you can lie about me?
368
00:21:52,127 --> 00:21:55,028
Because I'm better at it!
369
00:21:55,030 --> 00:21:58,498
Tim, if you're gonna lie about me,
you have to use common sense.
370
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:02,218
Wait. Hold on. We have to
find another guideline.
371
00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:05,939
Why don't we just sit down and discuss
acceptable lies and non-acceptable lies.
372
00:22:05,941 --> 00:22:08,542
OK, OK. I'll give you some,
all right?
373
00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:10,043
Lie number one...
374
00:22:10,345 --> 00:22:12,679
"I can't go out tonight
375
00:22:12,887 --> 00:22:16,649
because my wife is accepting
a Mother of the Year award."
376
00:22:18,586 --> 00:22:21,612
- OK.
- All right, lie number two.
377
00:22:22,018 --> 00:22:26,093
"I can't go out tonight because my
wife is finishing her third book."
378
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:29,596
- Reading it or writing it?
- Very funny!
379
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,781
All right, I'm getting the vibe.
380
00:22:32,534 --> 00:22:36,169
"We can't go out tonight because my
wife is braiding her back hair."
381
00:22:41,909 --> 00:22:43,710
- Not acceptable!
- A little over the top?
382
00:22:43,712 --> 00:22:45,112
- Yeah.
- All right.
383
00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:46,980
"I can't go out tonight
because my wife will be
384
00:22:46,982 --> 00:22:49,282
hugging me and smothering me
in romantic kisses."
385
00:22:49,284 --> 00:22:51,884
- Acceptable, but nauseating.
- OK.
386
00:22:56,557 --> 00:23:00,560
I always say look
for the good in people.
387
00:23:00,562 --> 00:23:02,662
- And that works?
- Most of the time.
388
00:23:02,664 --> 00:23:04,797
And if it doesn't...
389
00:23:04,799 --> 00:23:07,534
I miss the ball!
390
00:23:07,536 --> 00:23:11,938
I always say look
for the good in people.
391
00:23:11,940 --> 00:23:14,141
- And that works?
- Most of the time.
391
00:23:15,305 --> 00:23:21,458
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