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1
00:00:01,117 --> 00:00:03,996
These are some of the best ways to give
your garden tools a good spring tune-up.
2
00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:06,990
- Right, Al?
- That's right, but before we go,
3
00:00:07,057 --> 00:00:10,287
we'd like to make an announcement
I'm sure you all have been waiting for.
4
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,120
Al is a woman trapped in a man's body.
5
00:00:16,166 --> 00:00:19,496
No. I'm sure our audience
knows that's not true.
6
00:00:19,569 --> 00:00:20,899
I'm just kidding, Al.
7
00:00:20,971 --> 00:00:24,116
We invited our viewers to vote for their
all-time favorite guest here on Tool Time.
8
00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:25,940
and today we'll announce the winner.
9
00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:29,269
That's right. You were able to go
down to your local hardware store
10
00:00:29,346 --> 00:00:33,606
and pick up a ballot that listed every
single guest we've ever had on Tool Time.
11
00:00:33,683 --> 00:00:37,523
although Bob Vila was left off that list.
12
00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:40,491
Computer error, Al.
13
00:00:42,025 --> 00:00:45,785
Anyway, our three finalists are George
Foreman, Mario and Michael Andretti,
14
00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:49,802
and Dwayne,
from the K&B Construction Company.
15
00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:53,967
From our ever-widening audience,
we've had thousands of viewers write in.
16
00:00:54,037 --> 00:00:57,337
- Lisa, what's the final count?
- 112 postcards, Tim.
17
00:00:57,407 --> 00:01:01,277
Thank you, Lisa. And the winner for the
most popular guest here on Tool Time is...
18
00:01:04,214 --> 00:01:06,614
I got goose bumps, I really do.
19
00:01:08,118 --> 00:01:10,108
What? No.
20
00:01:12,756 --> 00:01:15,586
Mario and Michael Andretti.
21
00:01:18,461 --> 00:01:20,731
Tim, that's not what...
That's not what it...
22
00:01:20,797 --> 00:01:22,341
- That's not what it says.
- Yes, it does.
23
00:01:22,365 --> 00:01:23,709
- No, it... No, it doesn't.
- Yes, it does.
24
00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:25,893
- Does not.
- Does too.
25
00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:29,163
Bob Vila.
26
00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:36,800
It can't... It can't be...
It cannot be Bob Vila.
27
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,940
It can't be Bob Vila.
I erased his name...
28
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:42,536
Computer error
took his name off that list.
29
00:01:42,619 --> 00:01:46,719
Well, maybe the viewers
did what I did and wrote his name in.
30
00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:49,090
That's what I did.
31
00:01:49,159 --> 00:01:51,629
Write-ins weren't allowed, Lisa.
32
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:54,094
- Al told me I could.
- He did, did he?
33
00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:56,164
Yes, I did.
34
00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:02,060
So please join us next time when
we'll meet our winning guest, Bob Vila.
35
00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:05,698
So popular that, even though
he was deliberately left off the ballot,
36
00:02:05,775 --> 00:02:08,135
won with a write-in campaign.
37
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,701
So join us next time on Tool Time.
38
00:02:09,779 --> 00:02:13,039
when Bob and Al discuss how to
remove crusty food from their beards.
39
00:02:13,116 --> 00:02:15,516
See you next time on Tool Time
40
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:23,074
Store your movies and series on HELIOS4
Open Source NAS - Visit us on KOBOL.IO
41
00:03:28,992 --> 00:03:31,392
Well, what do you think?
Could we put the kids in the middle?
42
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:37,387
Jill, this is unbelievable.
I've never won anything before.
43
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,487
A day of beauty for two at Adriana's.
44
00:03:39,569 --> 00:03:44,769
It is so great that it is for two. Can you
imagine a whole day of being pampered?
45
00:03:44,841 --> 00:03:46,931
What? Tim doesn't pamper you?
46
00:03:47,010 --> 00:03:49,040
Yeah, right.
47
00:03:49,112 --> 00:03:54,312
Tim's idea of pampering me
is to wear his pants to breakfast.
48
00:03:57,053 --> 00:04:00,053
Jill, are Brad and Randy
planning to do some gardening?
49
00:04:00,123 --> 00:04:02,153
Hey! Hey, guys!
50
00:04:02,926 --> 00:04:05,586
Where are you going
with that shovel and that rake?
51
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:10,222
- Nowhere.
- Don't go near the cemetery again.
52
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,790
Cemetery?
53
00:04:11,868 --> 00:04:14,128
Yeah. Last week they dug a hole
near the cemetery wall,
54
00:04:14,204 --> 00:04:17,904
and told Mark
that one of the bodies escaped.
55
00:04:19,976 --> 00:04:22,876
We're just going down
to the creek to build a dam.
56
00:04:22,946 --> 00:04:25,536
Forget the dam, beaver boy.
57
00:04:25,615 --> 00:04:28,105
- Lose the shovel. Lose the rake.
- Aw, man.
58
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:31,314
Now, listen, if you guys get back
before Karen and I do, go to Wilson's.
59
00:04:31,387 --> 00:04:33,947
Mark's gonna be over at Billy's.
60
00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,693
- Morning, Tim.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
61
00:04:36,759 --> 00:04:41,029
Ah, it's nice to see that Tim
is his usual charming, bubbling self.
62
00:04:41,097 --> 00:04:44,617
Oh, ignore him. He's always in a snit
when Bob Vila's on the show.
63
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:48,661
Isn't he the guy that has that
national tool show that Tim ripped off?
64
00:04:48,738 --> 00:04:50,828
Don't start, Karen, please.
65
00:04:50,907 --> 00:04:53,967
All I've heard all week long is,
"Bob Vila this, Bob Vila that."
66
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,383
- What does Bob Vila have that I don't?
- High ratings.
67
00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:58,436
- Fans.
- Big salary.
68
00:04:59,482 --> 00:05:03,892
- Are you through?
- Oh, pookie. We're just kidding.
69
00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:07,623
Remember, you have something
to be proud of that Bob Vila does not have.
70
00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:09,780
- Oh, yeah. What?
- Al.
71
00:05:12,795 --> 00:05:15,055
Normally I would have seen that coming.
72
00:05:15,131 --> 00:05:17,691
I'm very vulnerable right now.
73
00:05:17,767 --> 00:05:21,567
Tim, you're so tense. Maybe you should
come and pamper yourself at Adriana's.
74
00:05:21,638 --> 00:05:24,608
Yeah, yeah. They have
manicures and pedicures for men.
75
00:05:24,674 --> 00:05:27,204
Let me tell you two gals something.
76
00:05:27,277 --> 00:05:29,297
Men don't let other
people touch their feet.
77
00:05:29,379 --> 00:05:34,979
A real man clips his own toenails
and flicks them in his wife's hair.
78
00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:38,643
Does everybody know what time it is?
79
00:05:38,721 --> 00:05:40,591
Tool Time!
80
00:05:40,657 --> 00:05:47,057
That's right. Binford Tools is proud
to present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
81
00:05:50,633 --> 00:05:54,433
Thank you, Lisa. Welcome to Tool Time
I'm your host, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
82
00:05:54,504 --> 00:05:56,734
You all know my assistant, Al.
83
00:05:56,806 --> 00:06:00,936
- Well, Tim. This is the big day.
- It sure is. We get to that subfloor. Ooh.
84
00:06:01,010 --> 00:06:03,540
I don't think that's why
the audience is watching today.
85
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:05,603
I'm sure that, like me,
they're all excited
86
00:06:05,682 --> 00:06:09,082
about seeing our
favorite-guest-contest winner.
87
00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:11,482
Aren't we all, Al. Aren't we all.
88
00:06:11,554 --> 00:06:14,684
- Now, the subfloor will start...
- Tim.
89
00:06:14,757 --> 00:06:17,887
Why don't we introduce
our favorite guest?
90
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,090
Why not? Our favorite guest
is someone a few of you may know...
91
00:06:21,164 --> 00:06:23,964
I think we all know Bob and love him.
92
00:06:25,268 --> 00:06:27,758
Are we gonna have to hose you down, Al?
93
00:06:28,438 --> 00:06:33,638
Let me introduce the paterfamilias
of home repair, Mr. Bob Vila.
94
00:06:36,779 --> 00:06:39,509
Thank you.
Thanks for that warm welcome.
95
00:06:39,582 --> 00:06:42,552
Mr. Vila, I just want you to know
I'm one of your biggest fans.
96
00:06:42,618 --> 00:06:45,278
In my opinion, you've completely
redefined television home repair.
97
00:06:45,421 --> 00:06:47,411
Lisa.
98
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:48,890
Right.
99
00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:50,669
- Good to have you here again, Bob.
- Thanks.
100
00:06:50,693 --> 00:06:54,193
- That goes double for me.
- Thanks, Al. It's always good to see you.
101
00:06:54,263 --> 00:06:57,203
I was so thrilled to find out
I was picked your favorite guest here.
102
00:06:57,266 --> 00:07:01,726
Well, I encouraged
a lot of people to vote for you.
103
00:07:01,804 --> 00:07:03,444
Bob, why don't you
take a seat right here?
104
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:06,051
Now, a lot of people think
there's a big rivalry between Bob and I,
105
00:07:06,075 --> 00:07:07,953
but actually there's a lot
of mutual respect between us. Right, Bob?
106
00:07:07,977 --> 00:07:10,407
Absolutely, Jim.
107
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:12,954
It's Tim.
108
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:17,075
I was just pulling your leg, buddy.
Just kidding.
109
00:07:20,256 --> 00:07:23,586
I don't... I don't know if we can
have Bob on the show anymore.
110
00:07:23,659 --> 00:07:27,029
My... my sides are about to split.
111
00:07:27,096 --> 00:07:29,256
Al, you've got
a wonderful sense of humor.
112
00:07:29,332 --> 00:07:31,822
Doesn't he, though?
113
00:07:32,268 --> 00:07:36,198
Well, you know, Bob is also here
to promote one of my favorite charities.
114
00:07:36,272 --> 00:07:40,302
The Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Flannel.
115
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:44,207
Actually, Tim, I'm supporting
the Metropolitan Detroit Children's Fund.
116
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,657
I'm just pulling your leg, actually.
117
00:07:45,681 --> 00:07:48,460
It's a wonderful charity and I bet they're
excited that you're their chairperson.
118
00:07:48,484 --> 00:07:51,044
I understand that
you're working on a lawn mower race.
119
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,060
That's right. And I'm having
a tough time getting some competition.
120
00:07:54,123 --> 00:07:58,893
Well, you know, Bob,
Tim has a very powerful lawn mower.
121
00:07:59,362 --> 00:08:02,852
I tweaked out my lawn mower at home
and dumped a big motor in it.
122
00:08:02,932 --> 00:08:05,462
Mine isn't homemade.
123
00:08:05,535 --> 00:08:07,995
I actually had mine designed
and built by professionals.
124
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,830
Yeah? Well, I...
125
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:13,336
I dumped a 300cc Harley
with a special cam in it.
126
00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:17,039
That sounds like the junior model.
Bob here put in a 410.
127
00:08:17,113 --> 00:08:19,513
- Good for Bob.
- Bad for you.
128
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:23,922
I've got an elongated throttle. I've
actually been clocked at 42 miles per hour.
129
00:08:23,986 --> 00:08:25,846
42?
130
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,912
- You have a lawn mower that goes 42?
- Yeah.
131
00:08:27,990 --> 00:08:31,050
Well, Bob,
I think it's time to kick some grass.
132
00:08:31,127 --> 00:08:32,805
What do you say?
Are you up to the challenge?
133
00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:36,819
To... I... You know...
Yeah, why not? Sure, I'll race you.
134
00:08:36,899 --> 00:08:40,029
- Great.
- Sure. That'll be good. A lot of fun.
135
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,902
For charity.
136
00:08:41,971 --> 00:08:45,601
Well, Tim,
I just hope you're not a poor loser.
137
00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:48,695
Al, I think the audience knows
just what kind of loser I am.
138
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,708
Experienced.
139
00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:55,052
- Tim!
- Yeah. Out here.
140
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:56,977
Timmy!
141
00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:03,756
I thought you guys
were going to that spa.
142
00:09:04,894 --> 00:09:07,564
We've been there six hours.
143
00:09:08,164 --> 00:09:10,504
- You look fabulous.
- Thank you.
144
00:09:10,566 --> 00:09:12,211
Come to the garage.
I'll show you something.
145
00:09:12,235 --> 00:09:14,725
- Time for the unveiling. Come on.
- Unveiling of what?
146
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:19,044
- What are you up to now?
- Prepare to be amazed, girls.
147
00:09:21,077 --> 00:09:23,477
I'm amazed.
148
00:09:23,546 --> 00:09:26,106
- You like it?
- Like it? I hate it.
149
00:09:26,182 --> 00:09:28,172
- What is it?
- What is it?
150
00:09:28,251 --> 00:09:33,661
It's a riding lawn mower
with a jet engine off a Chinook helicopter.
151
00:09:36,225 --> 00:09:40,415
Are you out of your mind?
You put a jet engine on a lawn mower?
152
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:43,356
No, but thanks for thinking I could.
153
00:09:43,432 --> 00:09:47,302
I borrowed this. It's on loan from
the US Lawn Mower Racing Association.
154
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:49,400
Why would anyone do this?
155
00:09:49,906 --> 00:09:52,966
Think about it. You got
riding lawn mower, you got jet engine.
156
00:09:53,042 --> 00:09:56,882
Sooner or later,
somebody was gonna put 'em together.
157
00:09:56,946 --> 00:09:59,406
Tell me you're not gonna race this thing.
158
00:09:59,482 --> 00:10:02,852
Technically it won't be a race.
It's just an exhibition with...
159
00:10:02,919 --> 00:10:05,889
- Bob Vila.
- I should have known.
160
00:10:05,955 --> 00:10:08,667
Whenever Bob Vila's on the show,
you turn everything into a competition.
161
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:11,291
- Jill, this is for charity.
- No, it's not. It's to compete.
162
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,730
Honey, this is no competition.
This is gonna be a slaughter.
163
00:10:14,797 --> 00:10:18,257
I'll be at the finish line and Bob Vila
will be back there at the starting post
164
00:10:18,334 --> 00:10:21,794
picking mulch out of his beard.
"See you, Bobby."
165
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:27,041
- How fast does this thing go?
- Right now, this gearing, about 62.
166
00:10:27,109 --> 00:10:30,479
But if I regear it, 94 I'll get out of it.
167
00:10:31,314 --> 00:10:35,814
And after they pry you out of this with the
crowbar, I'll turn to the crowd and say:
168
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:40,215
"He was a nice man, a good man,
but not a bright man."
169
00:10:42,124 --> 00:10:46,154
Honey, this'll mow
a football field in 11 seconds.
170
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,690
Hi, guys. Where did you go?
171
00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:54,167
We went down to the creek
and caught some tadpoles.
172
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:55,896
Why didn't you come and get me?
173
00:10:55,972 --> 00:10:58,242
We looked all over
and we couldn't find you.
174
00:10:58,307 --> 00:10:59,827
I was in my room.
175
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:03,499
Boy, Brad.
The one place we didn't look.
176
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:06,339
Why don't you take me
anywhere with you guys?
177
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,535
It's because you always rat on us.
178
00:11:08,618 --> 00:11:11,678
- Promise I won't rat on you again.
- Oh, really?
179
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,594
Hey, Brad.
Maybe we should make him take the test.
180
00:11:14,657 --> 00:11:18,017
- Yeah, the test.
- What test?
181
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:20,294
The tadpole secrecy test.
182
00:11:20,363 --> 00:11:21,923
What's that?
183
00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:25,368
You have to put
a live tadpole in your mouth.
184
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,534
Ew! No way!
185
00:11:28,004 --> 00:11:32,174
OK, fine. But then you don't get to come
to the creek with us and build a raft.
186
00:11:32,241 --> 00:11:33,731
See ya.
187
00:11:33,809 --> 00:11:35,369
Wait.
188
00:11:36,345 --> 00:11:39,305
How long do I have to hold it in my mouth?
189
00:11:39,382 --> 00:11:42,222
- Three seconds.
- Three whole seconds?
190
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:46,524
- I told you he'd be a chicken.
- I'm not chicken.
191
00:11:47,723 --> 00:11:49,493
I'll do it.
192
00:11:54,997 --> 00:11:57,827
Buddy, come here.
193
00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:01,600
Now, close your eyes.
Open your mouth.
194
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,367
Ooh, yeah, a nice slimy one.
195
00:12:05,461 --> 00:12:08,289
You'd better watch out.
He's really wiggly.
196
00:12:08,344 --> 00:12:12,214
Here he comes. Closer, closer.
197
00:12:12,281 --> 00:12:14,651
One thousand one.
198
00:12:14,717 --> 00:12:16,947
One thousand two.
199
00:12:17,019 --> 00:12:19,849
- One thousand three.
- You did it.
200
00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:33,503
Mark, you weren't
supposed to swallow the tadpole.
201
00:12:33,569 --> 00:12:35,429
What's gonna happen?
202
00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:40,674
Well, it's gonna swim around inside you
and grow into a frog.
203
00:12:42,044 --> 00:12:45,144
- Ribbit, ribbit.
- Shut up, Brad!
204
00:12:45,214 --> 00:12:49,714
Hey, Mark. I wouldn't drink any water.
Might make it grow faster.
205
00:12:49,785 --> 00:12:51,575
I'm gonna tell Mom and Dad on you.
206
00:12:51,654 --> 00:12:55,394
Oh, yeah, like Mom and Dad are gonna
believe that we made you eat a tadpole.
207
00:12:55,458 --> 00:12:57,088
Brad...
208
00:12:57,159 --> 00:12:59,959
I wouldn't use that argument.
209
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,759
Mom!
210
00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:05,589
Mom!
211
00:13:05,668 --> 00:13:07,998
- Mom!
- What is it? What is it? What's the matter?
212
00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:10,470
Brad and Randy made me eat a tadpole.
213
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:13,239
- A what?
- A tadpole.
214
00:13:13,309 --> 00:13:15,799
- Where are they?
- They ran away.
215
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:19,678
- Well, Mark, you're gonna be fine.
- I'll get you a glass of water.
216
00:13:19,749 --> 00:13:22,239
No! Not water!
217
00:13:23,085 --> 00:13:24,175
OK.
218
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:28,680
- It's turning into a frog.
- No, it isn't, honey.
219
00:13:28,758 --> 00:13:31,228
This thing can't possibly
survive inside of your stomach.
220
00:13:31,293 --> 00:13:35,063
Look, you're just gonna
digest it like a piece of fruit.
221
00:13:35,131 --> 00:13:37,161
- You sure?
- I'm positive.
222
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:40,503
You're just gonna
poop that thing right out.
223
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:46,029
Now, just go outside and play.
Listen, eating a tadpole's no big deal.
224
00:13:46,108 --> 00:13:49,508
Aaargh! Gross! That is so gross.
225
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:52,357
Can you imagine having that slimy thing
swimming around inside your stomach?
226
00:13:52,381 --> 00:13:54,981
- I know. Yuck!
- I can't believe that they did this.
227
00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:56,361
- Oh, it's so gross.
- What happened?
228
00:13:56,385 --> 00:13:59,905
Brad and Randy made Mark eat a tadpole.
229
00:14:05,027 --> 00:14:08,047
This is not funny.
It's a terrible thing to do.
230
00:14:08,130 --> 00:14:11,070
Oh, come on.
They're boys. What's the big deal?
231
00:14:11,133 --> 00:14:13,503
When I was little,
I made one of my brothers eat spaghetti.
232
00:14:13,569 --> 00:14:16,329
- It had an earthworm in it.
- Oh, Tim. Please.
233
00:14:16,405 --> 00:14:17,889
Steve didn't even know
it was in there until...
234
00:14:17,936 --> 00:14:21,259
one of the noodles tried
to crawl back out.
235
00:14:21,310 --> 00:14:23,440
It was great. Oh, he paid me back.
236
00:14:23,512 --> 00:14:25,757
He made me eat my mashed potatoes
with a big cockroach in there.
237
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,411
Oh! Tim!
238
00:14:27,483 --> 00:14:31,323
Oh, quit ohing. They're good.
They're crunchy. They're not bad.
239
00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:39,253
What's that smell?
240
00:14:39,328 --> 00:14:41,688
It's clam chowder...
241
00:14:41,764 --> 00:14:46,553
Mushrooms, raisin and
little bits of liver.
242
00:14:46,578 --> 00:14:47,388
Ugh!
243
00:14:47,436 --> 00:14:51,126
I want Brad and Randy
to think it's tadpole soup.
244
00:14:52,374 --> 00:14:55,104
That's disgusting - I love it.
245
00:14:56,045 --> 00:15:01,135
I'm just going with the flow.
Go out and tell them that the soup is on.
246
00:15:05,254 --> 00:15:08,494
Brad! Randy!
Hustle up. Dinnertime.
247
00:15:08,557 --> 00:15:12,187
- Hi-ho, neighbor.
- Hi there, Wilson.
248
00:15:12,261 --> 00:15:14,251
You missed a snip.
249
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,200
Mm-hm.
250
00:15:16,265 --> 00:15:19,025
I bet you can't guess
what I've got in my garage.
251
00:15:19,101 --> 00:15:20,531
Well, just off the top of my head,
252
00:15:20,603 --> 00:15:25,273
I'd say a small riding lawn mower
with a jet engine attached.
253
00:15:26,876 --> 00:15:28,636
Mark told me.
254
00:15:28,711 --> 00:15:33,241
Think about it, Wilson. I'll be driving
the fastest riding lawn mower on earth.
255
00:15:33,315 --> 00:15:35,035
Uh-huh, uh-huh-huh-huh.
256
00:15:35,117 --> 00:15:38,637
I'm gonna be a lawn-mowing legend.
257
00:15:38,721 --> 00:15:43,181
Well, Tim. It sounds to me
like you're dealing with hubris.
258
00:15:43,259 --> 00:15:45,959
Hubris? What's that in English?
259
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:49,358
It is English.
It means "excessive pride."
260
00:15:49,832 --> 00:15:52,532
Oh, yeah, I got that.
261
00:15:52,601 --> 00:15:57,471
- Not necessarily a good thing.
- I don't have that. I don't want it.
262
00:15:57,539 --> 00:16:00,669
I'm just in this
lawn-mowing competition with Bob Vila.
263
00:16:00,743 --> 00:16:03,413
Mm. Nothing like
the rousing spirit of competition.
264
00:16:03,479 --> 00:16:05,969
Yeah. Jill and Karen
think it's a stupid idea.
265
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:09,248
Well, Tim,
competition can be a very healthy thing.
266
00:16:09,318 --> 00:16:11,429
That's what I think.
I think competition inspires men -
267
00:16:11,453 --> 00:16:14,453
challenges us to build
the biggest building, the fastest missile,
268
00:16:14,523 --> 00:16:18,193
the most absorbent bathroom tissue.
269
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:20,520
Competition brings out the best in product.
270
00:16:20,596 --> 00:16:24,226
- You're darn right.
- But sometimes the worst in men.
271
00:16:26,268 --> 00:16:30,668
- Hey, guys. I was just looking for you.
- Hey, Dad.
272
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:34,299
- We're really sorry.
- Sorry about what?
273
00:16:34,376 --> 00:16:37,306
- Didn't you talk to Mark?
- No.
274
00:16:37,379 --> 00:16:40,621
Oh. Then we're sorry
we're late for dinner.
275
00:16:40,646 --> 00:16:41,733
All right. Your mom's
got it ready for you.
276
00:16:41,784 --> 00:16:43,828
Take those muddy shoes off
before you get in the house.
277
00:16:43,852 --> 00:16:45,052
All right.
278
00:16:45,888 --> 00:16:47,518
Tim, would the boys be in trouble?
279
00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:49,989
Big trouble.
They made Mark eat a tadpole,
280
00:16:50,059 --> 00:16:53,219
so Jill's making them think
they're having tadpole soup.
281
00:16:53,295 --> 00:16:56,285
Mm-hm. Well, if you
want to try the real thing,
282
00:16:56,365 --> 00:17:00,195
why don't you come over
to my house on Saturday night?
283
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,399
Well, hello, Brad and Randy.
284
00:17:03,472 --> 00:17:05,172
Hi, Mom.
285
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,330
- Where's Mark?
- He's upstairs, playing.
286
00:17:08,410 --> 00:17:12,280
- Is he OK?
- Yeah. He's fine. Why do you ask?
287
00:17:12,348 --> 00:17:15,408
No reason.
Just because we love him.
288
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,550
- Hope you're hungry.
- Oh, yeah.
289
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:23,752
Oh. Guess I'm done with this now.
290
00:17:23,826 --> 00:17:27,126
- That had our tadpoles in it.
- Not anymore.
291
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:30,646
- Soup, anyone?
- What's up, guys?
292
00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:33,203
- Hi, Mom.
- Is Mark eating this?
293
00:17:33,268 --> 00:17:35,828
No, that's just for you.
I'm having ice cream.
294
00:17:35,904 --> 00:17:38,074
Oh, sweetie, it's right over there.
295
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:41,870
Well, hi. I've got the soup
for the boys all ready. You want some?
296
00:17:41,944 --> 00:17:46,614
- Well, what's in it?
- Oh, a tad of this, tad of that.
297
00:17:48,117 --> 00:17:50,747
Sounds a tad too rich for me.
298
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:54,649
Oh, I get it. You want us to think
the tadpoles are in the soup.
299
00:17:54,723 --> 00:17:57,723
Now why would your mother
do something like that?
300
00:17:57,793 --> 00:17:59,623
Come on, dig in.
301
00:17:59,695 --> 00:18:02,525
- Come on, Randy. This is just a big bluff.
- Yeah.
302
00:18:02,598 --> 00:18:05,258
Come on, boys. Hop to it.
303
00:18:14,276 --> 00:18:17,296
You know, it does taste kind of weird.
304
00:18:17,379 --> 00:18:20,309
Yeah, but there's no way it's tadpoles.
305
00:18:20,382 --> 00:18:23,442
Oh, I guess I can't fool you guys.
306
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,609
Ooh!
307
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:27,276
Well, what is this?
308
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,926
Yeah!
309
00:18:32,995 --> 00:18:36,515
It's just a rubber frog.
How did that feel?
310
00:18:36,598 --> 00:18:39,044
Next time you feel like pulling something,
maybe you'll remember
311
00:18:39,068 --> 00:18:44,168
that I see all, hear all, and know all that
goes on in this house. Do you understand?
312
00:18:44,239 --> 00:18:45,899
We're sorry.
313
00:18:45,974 --> 00:18:49,744
OK. Now I'll fix your real dinner.
314
00:18:49,812 --> 00:18:54,222
Honey, please.
I think you've punished them enough.
315
00:19:05,260 --> 00:19:07,850
Here we go, everybody. Stand by.
316
00:19:09,932 --> 00:19:13,202
In five, four, three, two...
317
00:19:17,306 --> 00:19:20,166
Hi. Welcome to this
special edition of Tool Time
318
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:23,612
I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
You know my assistant, Al.
319
00:19:23,679 --> 00:19:27,879
We're here at beautiful Memorial Park,
ready for the big race with Bob Vila.
320
00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:31,010
I've got this little helmet-cam,
so you'll all see exactly what I see.
321
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,346
Hey, Bob. Who do you think
is going to win the race, huh?
322
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:36,362
It's for charity, Tim.
The real winners are the children.
323
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:39,255
Of course they are, Bob.
The winners are the kids.
324
00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:43,488
In second place, me.
In a distant third, Bob.
325
00:19:44,466 --> 00:19:48,456
- Oh, boy.
- What are you doing, Tim?
326
00:19:48,537 --> 00:19:51,516
Trying to show the folks at home if there's
any critters crawling around in your beard.
327
00:19:51,540 --> 00:19:54,740
Well, I think we're about ready to go.
Gentlemen, if you'll take your places.
328
00:19:54,810 --> 00:19:56,800
OK.
329
00:19:59,481 --> 00:20:01,421
- Good luck, Tim.
- Thank you, Al.
330
00:20:01,483 --> 00:20:03,883
- Bob, good luck.
- Thank you, Al.
331
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:07,292
- What is that?
- Just a little old engine, Bob.
332
00:20:10,058 --> 00:20:13,048
Gentlemen, start your engines.
333
00:20:28,043 --> 00:20:29,703
Ready.
334
00:20:29,778 --> 00:20:31,338
One.
335
00:20:31,413 --> 00:20:32,473
Two.
336
00:20:32,548 --> 00:20:34,378
Three.
337
00:20:37,686 --> 00:20:40,306
- Nice mower, Bob.
- Thanks, Tim.
338
00:20:40,389 --> 00:20:44,219
I'd love to sit and chat,
but I gotta run.
339
00:20:45,694 --> 00:20:47,564
Oh, boy! Whoa! Whoa!
340
00:20:47,629 --> 00:20:51,259
Look out, buddy!
Look out. Look out. Look out!
341
00:21:15,457 --> 00:21:19,047
Yeah, thanks, Officer. I'll make sure
I get those tickets for Tool Time for you.
342
00:21:19,127 --> 00:21:21,487
You bet.
343
00:21:21,563 --> 00:21:23,903
So... how was your day?
344
00:21:24,833 --> 00:21:26,103
Well...
345
00:21:26,168 --> 00:21:30,428
When I heard on the news
that there was a lawn mower
346
00:21:30,505 --> 00:21:33,495
running amuck down I-96,
347
00:21:34,576 --> 00:21:37,836
with a police helicopter in hot pursuit,
348
00:21:37,913 --> 00:21:40,913
I thought to myself,
"Could this be my husband?"
349
00:21:40,983 --> 00:21:42,100
Are you all right?
350
00:21:42,125 --> 00:21:44,277
Pretty good chance of that.
I'm all right.
351
00:21:44,319 --> 00:21:46,879
There's good news and bad news.
The bad news is...
352
00:21:46,955 --> 00:21:50,145
I got a ticket
and they impounded the lawn mower.
353
00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:52,915
- What's the good news?
- Good news is...
354
00:21:52,995 --> 00:21:55,895
I mowed 40 lawns
and made 186 bucks.
355
00:22:00,702 --> 00:22:02,332
What is this thing?
356
00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:05,644
This thing is a helmet-cam, so you
could see my perspective during the race.
357
00:22:05,707 --> 00:22:09,767
I might add that
you're looking pretty nice, honey.
358
00:22:09,845 --> 00:22:12,005
Thank you.
359
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,410
- Where are the boys?
- Across the street.
360
00:22:19,021 --> 00:22:22,181
- So we're alone, huh?
- Don't even think about it, Tim.
361
00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:24,557
Come here, woman. Come here!
362
00:22:57,726 --> 00:23:00,786
Jonathan Taylor Thomas!
363
00:23:03,532 --> 00:23:06,632
Zachery Ty Bryan!
A big hand for Zachery!
364
00:23:09,438 --> 00:23:12,598
The fantastic Patricia Richardson!
365
00:23:14,443 --> 00:23:18,283
And Mr. Tim Allen!
Right down here, Tim Allen.
366
00:23:20,482 --> 00:23:24,922
There we go.
Give everybody a big round of applause!
366
00:23:25,305 --> 00:23:31,798
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