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Welcome back to Tool Time
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00:00:03,486 --> 00:00:06,886
Now, when selecting your wood for your
deck, you want to use cedar or redwood,
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'cause they won't rot or decay
from the moisture.
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00:00:09,893 --> 00:00:13,193
That's also why poplar is quite "poplar."
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00:00:20,036 --> 00:00:22,966
And once you finish that deck,
you've got your springtime there.
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00:00:23,039 --> 00:00:25,129
It's spring, Klaus.
How about some springtime?
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Spring, nice weather, the birds...
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Hey, hey, hey!
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You get your deck finished, you just kick
back and enjoy the fruits of your labor.
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00:00:38,855 --> 00:00:40,785
- Right, Al?
- I wouldn't know, Tim.
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00:00:40,857 --> 00:00:43,917
You're fruiting, I'm still laboring.
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Anyway, Al, as you can see, is bracing
and blocking in between the joists here.
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That's right.
And if you use this procedure,
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your deck will be able to support
a great deal of weight.
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As many as 12 party guests
and a barbecue.
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Or my mother-in-law.
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00:01:02,912 --> 00:01:05,902
Now, next week there'll be no more
Nana jokes about her weight.
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00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:08,682
Because they're cheap
and easy, and I'm above that.
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And she's coming to town next week.
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But that's next week. So this week
it's open season on that wildebeest.
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Al, did I tell you the time that
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Nana didn't shave her chin for three days,
and two bison followed her home?
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00:01:29,272 --> 00:01:31,712
Tim, I believe our show today
is about decks.
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00:01:31,775 --> 00:01:35,135
That's right. And I certainly
know my way around a deck.
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00:01:35,211 --> 00:01:37,611
Let's get into
the construction technique, can we?
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Now, the footing here holds the post.
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The post is connected to the beam.
The beam is connected to the joist.
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The joist is connected to the hipbone.
The hipbone's connected to the thighbone.
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- Al, take it. Come on, buddy.
- Not in this life, Tim.
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00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:53,655
And once you get your deck finished,
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it's solid enough
even Nana could jump on this thing.
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Tim, you don't... No, you don't...
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00:02:01,638 --> 00:02:06,168
Binford Sealant.
You can pick it up at your local store.
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AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
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Well, what do you think?
Could we put the kids in the middle?
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- Hi, Mom. Is Nana here yet?
- No, not yet.
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Don't put your books on the table!
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Don't walk on the floor,
I just mopped it.
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00:03:33,096 --> 00:03:34,456
Hi, guys.
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00:03:34,531 --> 00:03:37,001
- Freeze.
- Oh, lady, lady. Come on.
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00:03:37,066 --> 00:03:39,966
All the dust I have is in my back pocket,
right there.
42
00:03:40,036 --> 00:03:43,266
I got a little extra lint
in my bellybutton.
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I've just mopped the floor. I don't want
you to walk on it. Take off your shoes.
44
00:03:45,909 --> 00:03:49,939
Hey, guys, take all of that
stuff upstairs and hide it.
45
00:03:51,548 --> 00:03:54,538
Every time your mom comes here,
you turn into Helga the psycho-cleaner.
46
00:03:54,617 --> 00:03:55,928
I do not.
I'm just tidying up a bit.
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00:03:55,952 --> 00:03:58,512
Don't touch that.
You're gonna get fingerprints all over it.
48
00:03:58,588 --> 00:04:01,388
How do you see
out of the back of your head?
49
00:04:01,457 --> 00:04:02,747
And don't laugh
50
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:06,155
at all those embarrassing stories
my mother tells when she gets here.
51
00:04:06,229 --> 00:04:09,129
They're not really embarrassing.
Some of them are really kinda funny.
52
00:04:09,199 --> 00:04:12,259
My favorite is when you dove off
the high-dive as a kid,
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00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,712
and the top of your bathing suit came off
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00:04:13,736 --> 00:04:15,826
and the lifeguards were using them
as a slingshot.
55
00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:21,569
Oh, boy.
56
00:04:22,779 --> 00:04:25,269
That wasn't funny at all.
57
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You see, this is just what I mean.
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00:04:26,912 --> 00:04:28,962
Mom always thinks that
stuff like that is funny.
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00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:30,322
And if she knew anything
about me,
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00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,702
she'd realize that those
stories are painful to me.
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00:04:32,755 --> 00:04:34,233
If they're so painful,
why don't you just tell her that?
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00:04:34,257 --> 00:04:36,817
I can't tell my mother.
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00:04:36,893 --> 00:04:40,233
Why can't you tell your mother?
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00:04:40,296 --> 00:04:44,056
It's old stuff, Tim, you know?
Just stay out of it, OK?
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00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:47,833
All right, all right. I'm neutral.
I'm Switzerland. I have no opinion.
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00:04:47,904 --> 00:04:50,174
- Hi, Dad.
- Buddy.
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00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,000
What's Nana gonna get me
for my birthday?
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00:04:53,076 --> 00:04:54,126
Well, I don't know, honey.
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00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:57,240
You're just gonna have to
wait and see when she gets here.
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00:04:57,313 --> 00:05:00,613
Birthday boy.
Or should I say birthday man?
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00:05:00,683 --> 00:05:03,643
A year older. That peach fuzz is turning
into a little five o'clock shadow.
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00:05:06,322 --> 00:05:09,622
I ordered the balloons
and the pinata today.
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00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,620
Well, cancel the order.
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00:05:12,695 --> 00:05:14,955
This kid is the big 0-8.
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00:05:15,031 --> 00:05:17,691
Halfway to driving age.
I'm thinking...
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00:05:17,767 --> 00:05:19,627
Indy 500 birthday.
77
00:05:19,702 --> 00:05:21,692
Checkered flags, maybe food...
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00:05:21,771 --> 00:05:25,871
Ah, I'm starting to get it. We could
make a cake in the shape of a car.
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00:05:25,942 --> 00:05:28,432
Racecar cake. Oh!
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00:05:28,511 --> 00:05:32,001
Penske Lola chassis, titanium valves
and all that stuff. Kevlar tub.
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00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,510
Come on, honey. Join in.
Let's grunt as a family.
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00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:46,285
That's my mom. Brad - Randy - Mark!
Go and comb your hair.
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00:05:46,362 --> 00:05:48,092
Tim?
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00:05:48,164 --> 00:05:50,504
- I have no opinion.
- Good.
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00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,280
She's a little early.
I didn't have time to widen the doorframe.
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00:05:54,304 --> 00:05:56,574
No more fat jokes.
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00:05:56,639 --> 00:05:58,229
Tim, Tim!
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00:06:00,843 --> 00:06:02,943
- Ta-da!
- Whoa!
89
00:06:03,846 --> 00:06:07,906
Where's the rest of you?
Are you coming in shifts?
90
00:06:09,085 --> 00:06:11,575
- Mom!
- Ta-da!
91
00:06:12,588 --> 00:06:14,900
You didn't tell me you lost all
that weight. Are you all right?
92
00:06:14,924 --> 00:06:17,694
Oh, I'm fine.
I wanted to surprise you.
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00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:23,100
- Well, you did. Mom, you look sensational.
- Oh, thank you.
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00:06:23,166 --> 00:06:24,786
- Well?
- Well, well...
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00:06:24,867 --> 00:06:30,637
You do look sensational. I can't remember
being able to hug you and touch my hand.
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00:06:30,707 --> 00:06:32,751
- Well, here, come on. Sit down.
- Here, I'll take your coat.
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00:06:32,775 --> 00:06:36,465
All right, thank you. Oh, my, Jill.
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00:06:36,546 --> 00:06:39,136
Oh, honey. This looks very nice.
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00:06:39,215 --> 00:06:42,575
Well, thank you.
I didn't even have time to clean.
100
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,052
Oh. How is that new job going?
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00:06:45,121 --> 00:06:49,061
It's good, it's great.
You know, it's just that
102
00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:52,109
it's kinda hard 'cause I have
to juggle the kids, and...
103
00:06:52,134 --> 00:06:53,639
the job, and
the time is always...
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00:06:53,696 --> 00:06:57,826
Oh, well. Life is hard.
You just have to buck up and do it.
105
00:06:58,735 --> 00:07:01,465
Right. Right.
106
00:07:02,438 --> 00:07:04,738
Well, Mom, you really...
you look amazing.
107
00:07:04,807 --> 00:07:06,237
Oh, well, thank you, honey.
108
00:07:06,309 --> 00:07:09,009
- I owe it all to Tim.
- How's that?
109
00:07:09,078 --> 00:07:14,978
Those Nana jokes on Tool Time were the
best motivation a fat person could have.
110
00:07:15,051 --> 00:07:18,751
What jokes?
I wouldn't make jokes about you on the air.
111
00:07:18,821 --> 00:07:20,381
- Oh, you wouldn't, would you?
- No.
112
00:07:20,456 --> 00:07:22,076
Well, does this sound familiar?
113
00:07:22,158 --> 00:07:27,118
What weighs 400lbs 2oz
and sings in the shower?
114
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:30,356
Nana holding a bar of soap.
115
00:07:34,303 --> 00:07:36,533
That's funny, though.
116
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,570
- Did you tell her I said that?
- No.
117
00:07:39,642 --> 00:07:41,512
You don't get Tool Time in Texas.
118
00:07:41,577 --> 00:07:43,637
- We bought a satellite dish.
- Oh.
119
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,183
All the neighbors...
120
00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:50,010
All the neighbors come over
to watch the show.
121
00:07:50,086 --> 00:07:52,746
- Dad and I are real celebrities.
- Hey, good.
122
00:07:52,822 --> 00:07:56,552
Yes. Of course,
I tell everyone my son-in-law is Al.
123
00:07:59,929 --> 00:08:01,306
Do you want something to drink?
Shot and a beer?
124
00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:05,600
Oh, Tim. Those days are over.
It's grapefruit juice for me from now on.
125
00:08:05,668 --> 00:08:07,598
All right.
126
00:08:08,438 --> 00:08:10,908
Nothing for me, Tim.
127
00:08:11,774 --> 00:08:17,644
Hey, guys, come on down here. Hustle up.
Half your grandma showed up.
128
00:08:19,615 --> 00:08:23,105
- Well, I'm sorry that Daddy couldn't come.
- Oh, well. You know the colonel.
129
00:08:23,186 --> 00:08:28,386
He had to make one of his
boring speeches at the officers' club.
130
00:08:29,692 --> 00:08:34,132
Well, it really... it is just incredible
how great you look. It's just great.
131
00:08:34,197 --> 00:08:37,457
Oh, well, thank you, honey.
You know, it's really a simple diet.
132
00:08:37,533 --> 00:08:42,063
I have a copy of it in the car.
All it takes is a little willpower.
133
00:08:42,138 --> 00:08:44,628
- Nana!
- Ooh, there's my boys.
134
00:08:44,707 --> 00:08:48,007
- Whoa, you're skinny.
- Oh, well, thank you.
135
00:08:48,077 --> 00:08:51,167
- All right, fall in. Ten-hut.
- Hut.
136
00:08:51,247 --> 00:08:54,477
At ease, men.
Now give me some sugar.
137
00:08:54,550 --> 00:08:56,040
Oh, Mark.
138
00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,918
My birthday boy.
139
00:08:58,988 --> 00:09:02,578
Randy, sweetie pie.
Best sugar in town, right here.
140
00:09:02,658 --> 00:09:06,148
Oh, Brad, you handsome thing.
How many dates have you had lately?
141
00:09:06,229 --> 00:09:10,689
- No, Mom. He's too young to date.
- Oh, well, won't be long now.
142
00:09:10,766 --> 00:09:15,496
Oh, Jill, I remember your first date.
It was Jake Tyler. He got...
143
00:09:15,571 --> 00:09:19,531
- Mom, nobody wants to hear this story.
- Yeah, we do! Yeah!
144
00:09:19,609 --> 00:09:22,809
- I think we should hear it.
- Jake Tyler.
145
00:09:22,879 --> 00:09:27,009
- Actually, I have no opinion.
- Oh, Jill, I can just see you.
146
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:31,023
You had on that lime-green miniskirt
that showed your cute little pudgy knees.
147
00:09:31,087 --> 00:09:32,847
I didn't have pudgy knees!
148
00:09:32,922 --> 00:09:36,122
But she was so nervous that night,
instead of deodorant,
149
00:09:36,192 --> 00:09:39,592
she sprayed on insect repellent!
150
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,432
It was only under one arm.
It's not that funny.
151
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:44,928
It's not that funny.
152
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:49,561
But maybe next time
you should just hang a No-Pest strip.
153
00:09:52,208 --> 00:09:55,868
- Did you bring us any candy?
- Candy? Well, what do you think?
154
00:09:55,945 --> 00:09:58,345
Mom, Mom, please.
Not before dinner.
155
00:09:58,414 --> 00:10:01,324
Oh, your mother's right.
But I do have a surprise for you.
156
00:10:01,384 --> 00:10:05,414
There are presents for everyone
out in the car. Go get 'em.
157
00:10:05,488 --> 00:10:06,848
I saw that.
158
00:10:06,923 --> 00:10:12,423
Well, one little candy bar won't hurt them.
Isn't that right, Tim?
159
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,590
I have no opinion.
160
00:10:16,666 --> 00:10:20,826
Oh, Jill. I can't wait for you
to see what I got for you.
161
00:10:20,903 --> 00:10:22,233
- For me?
- Yes.
162
00:10:22,305 --> 00:10:24,235
Since Dad and I
are moving into that new condo,
163
00:10:24,307 --> 00:10:27,637
I've decided to give you and your sisters
some things from the house.
164
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:31,670
Oh, I've picked out something
that I know has special meaning for you.
165
00:10:31,747 --> 00:10:33,767
Oh, I wonder if those boys
can handle that box.
166
00:10:33,849 --> 00:10:38,809
- I'll get it, Mom.
- No. No. Better not. It's breakable.
167
00:10:41,591 --> 00:10:46,291
Something breakable.
Something that has meaning.
168
00:10:46,362 --> 00:10:48,852
- Oh, gosh, I hope it's that clock.
- Which clock?
169
00:10:48,931 --> 00:10:52,231
You know, that beautiful
antique wood clock they have?
170
00:10:52,301 --> 00:10:55,101
The one that has that stupid chime
that wakes me when we stay there?
171
00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:58,471
I love that clock. You know,
when Daddy was moving us around
172
00:10:58,541 --> 00:11:01,311
from base to base
and house to house all the time,
173
00:11:01,377 --> 00:11:06,777
no matter where we were, when I heard
that clock, I always knew that I was home.
174
00:11:06,849 --> 00:11:09,579
All right. Thanks a lot, Brad.
Put it on the table, honey.
175
00:11:09,652 --> 00:11:11,812
- Be careful, boys.
- Guess what's in these boxes.
176
00:11:11,887 --> 00:11:14,617
Nana got Mark
a drum set for his birthday.
177
00:11:14,690 --> 00:11:17,630
Yeah. Guys, let's go
beat on them upstairs.
178
00:11:17,693 --> 00:11:18,853
Drums?
179
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,798
You... you got him drums?
180
00:11:21,864 --> 00:11:26,034
- Lillian, do you really hate me that much?
- Yes.
181
00:11:26,469 --> 00:11:30,269
Oh. Jill, I know you've
had your eye on this for a long time.
182
00:11:30,339 --> 00:11:35,209
Oh, Mom! Whenever I look at it I'm just...
I'm gonna think of...
183
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:37,537
tea. It's a tea set.
184
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:40,143
- That's right. Yeah.
- Who's the rest of this stuff for?
185
00:11:40,216 --> 00:11:43,516
Oh, the candlesticks are for Katie,
and the clock is for Robin.
186
00:11:43,586 --> 00:11:45,206
Robin.
187
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:49,182
Well, I-I hope that she loves it
as much as I love this.
188
00:11:49,258 --> 00:11:51,558
Oh, good, honey.
189
00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:56,387
Ooh, I hear music.
I'm going up to see my little Buddy Rich.
190
00:12:01,437 --> 00:12:05,567
Nice tea set. It's really... it's...
That's chipped. What a shame.
191
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:10,741
That means it's antique. And that's good.
It's no reason to be upset.
192
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:14,313
I'm not upset. I just thought that
she should know how I feel about the clock.
193
00:12:14,383 --> 00:12:16,983
- Why don't you tell her?
- Can't.
194
00:12:17,053 --> 00:12:19,583
Yes, you can.
"Mom, I want the clock."
195
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,705
That's not how we do things
in my family.
196
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:24,281
We don't talk about our feelings.
You know that.
197
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:28,020
Yes, I do know that. And this happens
every time your mom comes to visit.
198
00:12:28,097 --> 00:12:30,187
And where does she get off,
losing all that weight?
199
00:12:30,266 --> 00:12:31,996
You said she looks spectacular.
200
00:12:32,068 --> 00:12:35,198
Feeds me chicken, fried steak
and gravy for 20 years.
201
00:12:35,271 --> 00:12:38,141
- Shows up here all thin, with drums.
- Oh.
202
00:12:38,207 --> 00:12:41,867
Tells me my house looks... "nice."
203
00:12:43,779 --> 00:12:46,058
You know, I know what's going on here.
You know what's going on here?
204
00:12:46,082 --> 00:12:48,812
- You know exactly what's go...
- What, Tim?
205
00:12:49,485 --> 00:12:51,715
I have no opinion.
206
00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:00,716
There, now.
I think that looks lovely.
207
00:13:00,796 --> 00:13:06,756
Yeah. Now we have a tea set, but we
don't know what teatime is without a clock.
208
00:13:08,003 --> 00:13:09,803
Lillian, do you know what time it is?
209
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,842
- No, I didn't put on my watch today.
- Gosh darn it.
210
00:13:12,908 --> 00:13:15,738
There's a clock
right here on the oven, Tim.
211
00:13:15,811 --> 00:13:21,651
I know, but those oven clocks are so small.
What we need is a big old antique clock.
212
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:24,047
Go to London.
213
00:13:26,756 --> 00:13:30,206
- Mom, what are you doing there?
- I'm slicing marshmallows for the tires.
214
00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:32,504
Well, no. The tires are gonna
be those chocolate doughnuts.
215
00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:34,788
Oh. Well, then the marshmallows
can be the hubcaps.
216
00:13:34,964 --> 00:13:37,364
No. The peppermint candies
are gonna be the hubcaps.
217
00:13:37,433 --> 00:13:39,411
I thought the marshmallows
were gonna be the shock absorbers.
218
00:13:39,435 --> 00:13:42,025
Did anybody ask your opinion?
219
00:13:43,706 --> 00:13:45,766
I have no opinion.
220
00:13:48,611 --> 00:13:51,411
- Hi-ho, Tim.
- Hi, Wilson.
221
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,880
- Boy, you are just the man I wanna see.
- Yeah?
222
00:13:53,949 --> 00:13:56,139
I've got a birthday present for Mark.
223
00:13:56,218 --> 00:13:59,308
Oh, that's nice of you, but I don't think
I want to pierce his ears so early.
224
00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:03,048
No, no, no, no, no, Tim.
It's not an earring. It's a dream catcher.
225
00:14:03,125 --> 00:14:05,737
Children of the Chippewa Indians
hang them in their window at night
226
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:07,251
to catch the bad dreams.
227
00:14:07,329 --> 00:14:11,789
Then in the morning
the sunshine whisks the bad dreams away.
228
00:14:11,867 --> 00:14:16,397
You got anything
that'll whisk a mother-in-law away?
229
00:14:16,472 --> 00:14:19,072
- Nana problems, Tim?
- Nah, nah.
230
00:14:19,141 --> 00:14:20,731
It's Jill.
231
00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:24,870
She thinks her mom doesn't understand
her, but she never tells her how she feels,
232
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,937
so her mom doesn't really understand
that she doesn't understand.
233
00:14:28,017 --> 00:14:31,377
- I understand.
- What is it with women?
234
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:34,823
Her mom brought gifts. She gave Jill a tea
set and gave her sister Robin this clock.
235
00:14:34,890 --> 00:14:40,020
Well, Jill wants the clock.
Why can't she just say, "I want the clock"?
236
00:14:40,095 --> 00:14:41,815
Well, Tim, these are complicated things
237
00:14:41,897 --> 00:14:44,727
and it has been a few years since I read
My Mother. My Self
238
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,200
Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
239
00:14:47,269 --> 00:14:50,859
Back the bookmobile up.
240
00:14:50,940 --> 00:14:54,240
You read a book called
My Mother/My Self?
241
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,940
It was the '70s, Tim.
It was an open time.
242
00:14:57,413 --> 00:15:01,413
I remember the '70s.
Mood rings... eight-track cassettes.
243
00:15:01,851 --> 00:15:04,551
You see, Tim, once the baby girl
comes out of the mother's womb,
244
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:08,110
she spends the rest of her life
trying to separate from her.
245
00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:09,668
They are separate.
They live in different states.
246
00:15:09,692 --> 00:15:13,592
No, no. No, Tim,
I'm talking about emotional separation.
247
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:15,892
You see, subconsciously, Jill may feel
248
00:15:15,965 --> 00:15:18,125
that if she doesn't want
what her mother gives her,
249
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,400
she's being disloyal
to the person who gave her life.
250
00:15:21,470 --> 00:15:24,870
What? Why do women get so confused
about this stuff?
251
00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:29,380
I lived in a family of all boys. We were
very clear about our communication.
252
00:15:29,445 --> 00:15:33,575
If I wanted something my brother had,
I'd knock him down and take it.
253
00:15:34,049 --> 00:15:36,519
Well, that's very effective, but crude.
254
00:15:36,585 --> 00:15:39,205
Right. You know,
I think I could help these two ladies out.
255
00:15:39,288 --> 00:15:42,158
If I could just sit them down
and tell them exactly what's going on.
256
00:15:42,224 --> 00:15:43,664
No, no, no, Tim.
257
00:15:43,726 --> 00:15:46,716
Throughout history, many truths
have passed from man to man,
258
00:15:46,795 --> 00:15:50,155
and the one truth
that transcends all cultures is:
259
00:15:50,232 --> 00:15:54,102
"When mother-in-law visits,
man should stay in garage."
260
00:15:55,271 --> 00:15:56,581
I got a lot of work to do on the hot rod.
261
00:15:56,605 --> 00:16:00,555
Might as well just close the door
and start her up.
262
00:16:02,645 --> 00:16:06,735
Oh, Lillian, you've finished the cake.
Mark's gonna love that. It's beautiful.
263
00:16:06,815 --> 00:16:08,675
Tim, I want to talk to you about Jill.
264
00:16:08,751 --> 00:16:10,161
- I think she's upset.
- I'm going to the garage.
265
00:16:10,185 --> 00:16:14,585
She ate up all the hubcaps,
and then she went upstairs.
266
00:16:14,657 --> 00:16:16,468
I gotta do some work on the hot rod, OK?
Please? Please?
267
00:16:16,492 --> 00:16:19,592
- Tim.
- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...
268
00:16:21,997 --> 00:16:24,427
Tim.
269
00:16:25,935 --> 00:16:28,835
I think I know why Jill is so tense.
270
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:31,304
- You do?
- Yes.
271
00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:34,138
So she shared her feelings with you?
272
00:16:34,209 --> 00:16:36,969
- Well, not in so many words.
- Well?
273
00:16:37,046 --> 00:16:39,066
- But I think it's pretty clear...
- Uh-huh?
274
00:16:39,148 --> 00:16:41,668
that you two
are having intimacy problems.
275
00:16:45,721 --> 00:16:48,881
What? No. No. No.
276
00:16:48,958 --> 00:16:52,788
It's nothing to be embarrassed about. This
sort of thing can happen after 15 years.
277
00:16:52,861 --> 00:16:56,761
Stop... Don't... Come on...
Put it... Here, here.
278
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,555
I'm still happening.
279
00:17:01,637 --> 00:17:04,067
Well, all right,
but if you and Jill are having problems...
280
00:17:04,139 --> 00:17:06,769
It's not between me and Jill.
281
00:17:07,676 --> 00:17:10,136
It's between you and Jill.
282
00:17:10,212 --> 00:17:12,482
What are you talking about?
283
00:17:12,548 --> 00:17:16,508
She doesn't want the tea set,
she wants the clock.
284
00:17:16,585 --> 00:17:19,105
- The clock?
- Yeah.
285
00:17:19,188 --> 00:17:23,018
- Well, why didn't she just tell me?
- Well, I just don't know.
286
00:17:23,092 --> 00:17:26,722
It's a mother-daughter
emotional separation thing, or something.
287
00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:28,345
I came from a family of all guys.
288
00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:31,800
We were very clear
about our emotional separations.
289
00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:34,767
I hit my brother, I laugh, he cries.
290
00:17:37,006 --> 00:17:38,526
What?
291
00:17:38,607 --> 00:17:43,307
I can't explain it. You gotta read the book
Hey. Mother. I'm Selfish
292
00:17:48,851 --> 00:17:50,441
- Go!
- Go, Tiffany!
293
00:17:50,519 --> 00:17:52,489
Tim, can you help me
with the hamburgers?
294
00:17:52,554 --> 00:17:54,833
- In a minute, in a minute, all right?
- I'll help you, Jill.
295
00:17:54,857 --> 00:17:56,935
I'm gaining on you now.
I'm gaining on you! I'm gaining...
296
00:17:56,959 --> 00:17:59,119
I win!
297
00:18:00,262 --> 00:18:03,392
- Dad, she beat you again.
- I got eyes, pal.
298
00:18:03,465 --> 00:18:06,525
Sorry, Mr. Taylor.
I didn't mean to win.
299
00:18:06,602 --> 00:18:11,232
Don't get cocky, OK? You're not
champion around here until you win...
300
00:18:11,306 --> 00:18:13,636
five out of nine.
301
00:18:14,076 --> 00:18:18,406
Hey. You better start losing real quick
or else you're gonna be here all night.
302
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,450
Junior.
303
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:21,976
OK, here we go.
304
00:18:22,051 --> 00:18:25,041
Three, two... Is that a dolly?
305
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,710
One.
306
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:43,802
Jill, why didn't you tell me
you wanted that clock?
307
00:18:44,239 --> 00:18:46,329
I don't want that clock.
Who said I wanted the clock?
308
00:18:46,408 --> 00:18:48,308
Tim told me.
309
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:53,651
- He wasn't supposed to get involved.
- Well, I charmed it out of him.
310
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,145
It's no big deal, Mom.
It doesn't matter.
311
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,378
Well, apparently it is.
312
00:18:58,454 --> 00:19:01,724
He says that we don't talk,
that we don't share feelings.
313
00:19:01,790 --> 00:19:04,190
Now, that's not true, is it?
314
00:19:04,259 --> 00:19:05,819
Well, in a way, Mom.
315
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:09,464
I mean, you're always the one
that's saying we shouldn't get emotional.
316
00:19:09,531 --> 00:19:13,091
When did I ever say anything like that?
317
00:19:13,168 --> 00:19:16,158
- All the time.
- When?
318
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:19,669
OK. For example...
319
00:19:20,542 --> 00:19:23,072
There was that time in Virginia.
320
00:19:23,145 --> 00:19:25,223
I was playing in the sandbox
and you came up to tell me
321
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:30,777
that we were moving for the third time
in two years, and I started to cry.
322
00:19:30,853 --> 00:19:35,693
And you said, "Don't get emotional.
Crying isn't going to help."
323
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:39,557
"We're a military family,
this is who we are."
324
00:19:42,331 --> 00:19:44,701
Well, I'm sorry, honey,
but I don't remember that.
325
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:47,126
It was an important conversation, Mom.
326
00:19:47,202 --> 00:19:53,042
Jill, I had five daughters.
There were lots of important conversations.
327
00:19:54,576 --> 00:19:56,776
Well, of course you're right.
I'm sorry I brought it up.
328
00:19:56,845 --> 00:20:00,535
All right. Now, you just
hold it right there, young lady.
329
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:04,376
Now, all that moving was hard on the
whole family, and your father knew that.
330
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:07,323
Seeing us upset
would have made things worse for him.
331
00:20:07,389 --> 00:20:09,579
We all had to be good little soldiers.
332
00:20:09,658 --> 00:20:12,588
Yeah. Yeah, I remember all that
"good little soldier" stuff.
333
00:20:12,661 --> 00:20:15,191
Having to keep the house
in perfect shape.
334
00:20:15,264 --> 00:20:18,704
Lining us up in our perfect little dresses
with all the other officers' kids.
335
00:20:18,767 --> 00:20:22,667
Yes, that's right.
We were mean, lean and clean.
336
00:20:22,738 --> 00:20:23,998
But we had fun, too.
337
00:20:24,072 --> 00:20:30,412
You and your sisters played hopscotch and
jacks just like all the other little girls.
338
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,809
You and I had our teatime.
339
00:20:32,881 --> 00:20:36,281
- We had our what?
- Teatime.
340
00:20:36,351 --> 00:20:41,761
We'd have tea and cookies, but I'd tell you
we were having tea and crumpets.
341
00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:46,993
Then when your father came home
you'd tell him we had tea and puppets.
342
00:20:47,062 --> 00:20:49,432
"Tea and puppets"? I said that?
343
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,468
That is so cute.
How could you stand me?
344
00:20:55,103 --> 00:20:57,773
Sometimes I couldn't.
345
00:20:59,374 --> 00:21:02,674
So that's why you wanted
me to have the tea set?
346
00:21:02,744 --> 00:21:04,974
Well, yes. I...
347
00:21:05,047 --> 00:21:08,917
I know you look at that tea set and you see
some old cups and a chipped saucer,
348
00:21:08,984 --> 00:21:13,394
but I look at that tea set and I see you.
349
00:21:15,324 --> 00:21:19,824
I'm sorry, Mom.
I... just didn't remember.
350
00:21:22,831 --> 00:21:26,671
Well, whichever gift you want
is fine with me, dear.
351
00:21:28,437 --> 00:21:30,837
Well, now I want both.
352
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,773
Jillian Patterson,
you have to share with your sisters.
353
00:21:37,846 --> 00:21:39,824
I don't know why you had to give me
so many sisters anyway.
354
00:21:39,848 --> 00:21:41,908
Oh, hush.
355
00:21:57,466 --> 00:21:59,456
Yay!
356
00:22:01,303 --> 00:22:04,473
Hey, Dad, she beat you again.
357
00:22:04,539 --> 00:22:07,799
- That was pretty lame.
- Hang it up, old man.
358
00:22:07,876 --> 00:22:10,466
Can I go play with my friends now?
359
00:22:10,545 --> 00:22:13,535
You know, you're starting to
tick me off a little bit.
360
00:22:13,615 --> 00:22:16,475
Championship round.
One more race. Winner take all.
361
00:22:16,551 --> 00:22:19,951
But I think I blew the motor in my car.
362
00:22:20,022 --> 00:22:25,052
So I've got a little secret weapon
down here that I built.
363
00:22:25,127 --> 00:22:30,287
- Hey, what's that, Dad?
- I took the motor out of the DustBuster.
364
00:22:32,034 --> 00:22:37,504
All right, ready? Winner take all.
Last race. Three, two, one, go!
365
00:22:55,991 --> 00:22:59,321
This time when you cheer,
you can make noise.
366
00:22:59,728 --> 00:23:01,718
What a novel idea.
367
00:23:02,664 --> 00:23:06,004
Have we ever worked with children
before here?
368
00:23:06,068 --> 00:23:10,058
Five, four, three, two.
369
00:23:14,676 --> 00:23:16,506
- No, no, Tim.
- What?
370
00:23:16,578 --> 00:23:20,568
- It's your line.
- Don't get cocky, Tim.
370
00:23:21,305 --> 00:23:27,308
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