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1
00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:05,403
We did a great job
on this letter.
2
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:07,739
Yeah! Mark's gonna
fall for this big time.
3
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:08,940
Here he comes!
4
00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:15,714
Hey, Mark! You got a letter
from the Detroit Pistons.
I did?
5
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:18,783
Yeah. The return address
says it's from Isiah Thomas.
6
00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:21,820
See? I told you
he'd write me back.
7
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,688
What does it say?
8
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:28,093
"Dear Mark.
Thank you for your 25 letters.
You're my biggest fan."
9
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:31,096
Does he say anything else?
10
00:00:31,098 --> 00:00:33,098
"I can't wait to meet you.
11
00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:39,303
"Don't tell anybody,
but I'm coming to your
house Saturday night.
12
00:00:39,305 --> 00:00:43,074
P.S. If you're cooking,
I love corn on the cob."
13
00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:44,876
He's coming to our house!
14
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:48,980
Yeah! This is gonna
be cool! Yeah!
15
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:50,682
I'm gonna go put this
in my scrapbook!
16
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:54,152
Way to go, Marcus!
Wow.
17
00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:55,520
Yes!
18
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,522
Oh, we are too good.
19
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:05,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
20
00:02:07,492 --> 00:02:09,994
Well, what do you think?
Could we put the kids
in the middle?
21
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:19,003
(all) ♪ Happy birthday to you!
22
00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:20,671
(cheering)
23
00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:23,407
OK, make a wish.
Come on.
24
00:02:30,916 --> 00:02:33,051
(all) Yeah!
25
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:34,285
Now, we eat.
26
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:38,223
OK, who wants sleeve,
who wants armpit?
27
00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:40,691
Sleeve.
(Brad and Randy) Pits.
28
00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:42,827
OK. Tim?
29
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:46,297
I'll just take
a little chest hair.
30
00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:49,768
So, Al, what did you wish for?
31
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:53,604
Oh, no. No, no. I couldn't tell
you that or it won't come true.
32
00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:57,642
What are you, Al?
Seven? Eight now?
33
00:02:57,644 --> 00:03:02,814
Sorry, Tim. It's just that
I'm a little superstitious
about those things.
34
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:04,749
Yeah?
35
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,751
Well, if you don't tell us
what you wished for,
36
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,452
you're not getting
your present.
37
00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:11,089
Well, if you must know, I...
38
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,057
I wished for a wife.
39
00:03:15,394 --> 00:03:18,496
Hey! Perfect!
40
00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,564
That's what we got ya!
41
00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:25,036
Just don't overinflate her.
42
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:31,642
Tim, knock it off.
Al has a very good chance
of getting his wish.
43
00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:35,479
In fact, I might have
somebody to introduce you to.
Really?
44
00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:38,216
Back the lonely-heart mobile up.
45
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,551
Stay out of this.
You are the worst matchmaker.
46
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,221
I am not! Besides
this woman is perfect.
47
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,791
What's her name?
I don't know.
48
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,726
So she's a good friend?
49
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,595
She is the sister of the woman
I sit next to at work.
50
00:03:51,597 --> 00:03:55,266
She's supposed to be very sweet.
I'll call Beth, get her number,
then call you.
51
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:58,937
Then you call her,
then you call me and tell me
everything she said.
52
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,639
No, no.
Then you call me.
53
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:05,944
I'll call Eddie,
he'll call Freddie,
we'll all get pedicures.
54
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,645
(watch alarm beeps)
55
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,881
Gosh, it's seven already?
56
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,650
I better call the bingo hall,
tell 'em I'm running late.
57
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:14,518
This isn't your
usual bingo night.
58
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,721
No, I know.
59
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:20,825
When you're a regular,
they do something special
for you on your birthday.
60
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:25,263
You get to sit next
to the caller and use
your age as a free space.
61
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:32,136
Tonight, I'm N35.
62
00:04:33,472 --> 00:04:36,507
You know, it just seems
like yesterday I was I19.
63
00:04:39,811 --> 00:04:42,313
He really needs somebody.
64
00:04:45,951 --> 00:04:49,220
Her name's Ilene
and she's an orthodontist.
65
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,321
Who?
66
00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:53,224
The woman that Jill
found for me. Thank you
67
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,759
I just spoke to her
on the phone.
68
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,861
She has a delightful
sense of humor.
69
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,363
Listen to this.
70
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:01,132
How does an orthodontist
hold on to a lawyer?
71
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,701
She makes him a retainer.
72
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,609
I think I know
why she's available.
73
00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:14,345
Well, I've invited her
over for Friday night.
74
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,948
Told her there
would be a few people.
75
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,183
Now I just have to
find a few people.
76
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:21,752
Would you and Jill
like to come?
77
00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:25,156
Can't make it.
And if you were smart,
you wouldn't show up either.
78
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,826
Why?
Jill is the world's
worst matchmaker.
79
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,930
She put seven couples together.
Six are getting divorced.
80
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:35,366
Well, maybe we would be
like the seventh couple.
81
00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:40,071
The seventh couple
couldn't get married.
Turned out they were cousins.
82
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:45,009
Does everybody knowwhat time it is?It's "Tool Time"!
83
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:50,581
That's right! Binford Tools
is proud to present
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
84
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:53,418
(cheering and applause)
85
00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:56,787
Thank you.
86
00:05:56,789 --> 00:05:59,757
Thank you all, and welcome
once again to Tool Time.
87
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,826
I'm your host,
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor,
88
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:04,362
and you all know my assistant,
Al "Catch of the Day" Borland.
89
00:06:06,631 --> 00:06:09,900
It's Male Hobby Week
all this week on Tool Time.
90
00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:13,404
And today, Al and I are doing
our Tool Time salute...
91
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:15,473
(fishing reel unwinding)
92
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:17,275
to fishing.
93
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:21,012
Hobbies are important to men
because they allow us to wind
down a bit.
94
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:24,349
I can't speak for everybody, but
I work awful hard all week long.
95
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,284
You have another job
somewhere, Tim?
96
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:32,590
Gosh, darn it.
That was funny, Al.
It really was.
97
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:35,460
Who's writing your material?
An orthodontist?
98
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:40,631
Bite on that one, big worm.
99
00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:43,534
Look. We're talking about
fly-fishing today.
100
00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:46,670
To get a good information base,
we've invited a special guest.
101
00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:51,575
I want a warm Tool Time welcome
for ace angler Chuck Norwood.
102
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,577
(cheering and applause)
103
00:06:57,249 --> 00:07:01,452
Welcome, Chuck.
Thanks, Tim. Al.
104
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:03,321
You brought a nice
selection of rods here.
105
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,357
I'd love to see a worm
try to wiggle off one
of those big bad boys.
106
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:10,028
Actually, Tim, with fly-fishing,
there's no live bait involved.
107
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,430
The fish are drawn to the fly.
108
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,299
Under the heading of flies,
you've got two basic types.
109
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,102
The opened and closed, Chuck.
110
00:07:20,906 --> 00:07:24,075
Chuck meant the dry fly
and the wet fly.
111
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:28,746
This is a joke, Al.
The dry fly floats on top of the
water, whereas your wet fly...
112
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:32,216
Has kept you out of every major
restaurant in the Detroit area.
113
00:07:33,952 --> 00:07:35,619
How about a little
demonstration?
114
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:41,426
Yeah. This first one
is a real classic.
It's handmade bamboo.
115
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:44,028
Look at this.
That's a good-looking rod.
116
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,897
The prices for that
start at about...
117
00:07:51,937 --> 00:07:54,772
$800.
118
00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:58,443
Now it's $1600.
You got two of 'em.
119
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:00,545
We have an insurance policy
for these little accidents.
120
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:04,115
Actually, our insurance
cancelled after the fourth show.
121
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,984
Well, glue it.
What do we got now?
122
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,819
This next one's
my personal favorite.
123
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,655
This is a Morgan BXL graphite.
124
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,357
Not even you can
break that, Tim.
125
00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:15,259
Don't bet on it.
126
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,962
That's a beauty.
Look at that thing.
127
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:20,631
I bet you'd get a big old
stinky bass on this thing.
128
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:23,901
Hey, Al. Open up.
129
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:27,105
You want to be careful
using a graphite rod
in a lightning storm
130
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:30,774
because it is an excellent
conductor of electricity.
131
00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:34,044
We've been known to have
a lot of electrical storms
in the studio.
132
00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:37,781
I'm just saying that if
they happen to be in an area
that is susceptible...
133
00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:50,828
Mom, can we have
corn on the cob
Saturday night?
134
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:54,031
Sure. Why?
Not supposed to tell.
135
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,667
If you want corn, you'll tell.
136
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:58,236
OK.
137
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,904
Isiah Thomas is coming to dinner
and he really loves corn.
138
00:09:00,906 --> 00:09:04,842
Isiah Thomas?
139
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:07,578
You can't say anything
to anybody, OK?
140
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:09,880
(Tim) Hey, I'm home.
141
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,816
Oh, I don't believe it.
Well, I'm right here.
142
00:09:16,688 --> 00:09:18,922
What is this?
Brad and Randy
wrote to Mark
143
00:09:18,924 --> 00:09:20,991
pretending to be Isiah Thomas.
144
00:09:20,993 --> 00:09:23,194
It's not from Isiah?
145
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:27,698
Mark, no professional
basketball player is gonna come
to our house to eat corn.
146
00:09:29,801 --> 00:09:33,604
Especially your mom's corn.
147
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:36,274
Honey... Look, you're
eight years old now.
148
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:39,810
It's time that
we had this talk.
149
00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:43,414
Stop being such a sap!
150
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,517
But the letter looked so real.
151
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,886
Let me give you
some guidelines here.
152
00:09:51,056 --> 00:09:53,257
If something good
happens to you,
153
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,126
and Brad and Randy
are happy that it happened,
154
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:59,730
it's probably not a good thing.
155
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:01,199
I'm gonna get them back!
156
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,734
Wait. What are you
gonna do to 'em?
157
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:08,206
I'm gonna tell them that they're
ugly and that their feet stink.
158
00:10:09,274 --> 00:10:11,275
(whistles) Ouch!
159
00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:17,348
It's probably not
a good idea to tell 'em
stuff they already know.
160
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,017
Think of something,
all right?
OK.
161
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:23,987
By the way, keep Friday open.
I got sleepovers
for all the kids.
162
00:10:23,989 --> 00:10:27,425
We are going out.
All right!
163
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:30,494
We almost got roped
into going to Al's house.
Where are we going?
164
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:34,164
Al's house.
No!
165
00:10:34,166 --> 00:10:37,000
More dip?
No, thank you, Al.
166
00:10:37,002 --> 00:10:39,036
Dipped out, big fella.
167
00:10:44,008 --> 00:10:47,211
Don't worry, Al.
Ilene'll be here any minute.
168
00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:55,253
Any minute.
169
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:58,956
Boy, I should take a look
at that rack of lamb before
it dries out.
170
00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:04,962
She's 30 minutes late.
She's not coming. Let's eat.
171
00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:10,268
She's coming. Stop whining.
Try to say something supportive.
172
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,136
Nice butt, Al.
173
00:11:15,407 --> 00:11:17,207
(doorbell)
174
00:11:17,209 --> 00:11:18,976
Well, that's probably her now.
175
00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:26,484
Hi.
Hi.
176
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:28,552
Al?
Ilene?
177
00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:33,023
Would you like to come on in?
Come on in.
178
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,926
Hi. I'm Jill.
I work with Beth.
Nice to meet you.
179
00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:38,929
And the man behind the cheese
ball is my husband Tim.
Hi.
180
00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:42,900
This is very exciting for me.
I'm a big fan of the show.
181
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:45,235
You are so funny.
Thank you very much.
182
00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:48,972
And Al.
So competent.
183
00:11:51,743 --> 00:11:55,145
Thanks. Would you like
something to drink?
184
00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:57,448
That'd be great.
Uh... Wine?
185
00:12:02,153 --> 00:12:04,054
This really isn't like me,
being late.
186
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,156
Normally I am right on time.
Or early.
187
00:12:06,158 --> 00:12:10,494
What a coincidence.
Al is always early.
Isn't that right, Tim?
188
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:13,063
Yeah. Sometimes he shows up
before he's invited.
189
00:12:14,833 --> 00:12:17,267
I just couldn't get out
of the office.
190
00:12:17,269 --> 00:12:19,236
Then on the way over
here my car stalled.
191
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,239
I'll take a look at it.
Al should look at it.
192
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:25,976
Ilene, I would love
to look under your hood.
193
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:30,080
I mean... I mean of your car!
Of her car!
194
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,282
Al, you have a great
sense of humor.
195
00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:34,652
A sense of humor is very
important in a relationship.
196
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:38,155
If I didn't have a sense
of humor, I never would have
been able to stay with Tim.
197
00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:41,859
(beeping)
198
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:43,461
How long have you
two been married?
199
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:46,029
It seems like forever.
200
00:12:46,031 --> 00:12:47,732
In a good way.
201
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:51,635
Children?
Yes. We have three
delightful boys.
202
00:12:51,637 --> 00:12:53,738
And who would they be?
203
00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:59,309
I myself would love
a big family.
204
00:12:59,311 --> 00:13:04,281
Me too. Although I'm 36
and I worry it's a little
late to be getting started.
205
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,518
Oh, no. You have plenty
of good childbearing years left.
206
00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:13,190
It's not only that.
It's the whole process.
207
00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:14,925
First you have
to meet somebody,
208
00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:18,429
then you have to date,
see if the chemistry's right.
209
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:20,498
I wish there was a way
to cut through that.
210
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,200
So do I.
You do?
211
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:25,403
You know, I...
212
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:28,038
I wouldn't want to be
too forward, but I...
213
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,241
I would love to be
the father of your children.
214
00:13:42,587 --> 00:13:45,289
Do you mind if we eat first?
215
00:13:52,030 --> 00:13:56,767
"I'd love to be the father
of your children."
216
00:13:56,769 --> 00:14:02,840
I still can't believe
the woman didn't go running out
of the apartment, screaming.
217
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:06,944
That's 'cause she's just
as desperate as he is.
218
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:10,581
Honey, you've got
to applaud yourself.
They're a perfect match.
219
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:13,651
We gotta talk to Al.
What are you doing?
Don't talk... No.
220
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,453
They're going way too fast.
Way too fast.
221
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,321
She practically moved in
before dessert.
222
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:20,290
Her car stalls once
on the way over,
and by the end of the night,
223
00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:22,025
she thinks she can't
make it home?
224
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:26,263
"Oh, gee, Al. Maybe I'd better
stay on your couch."
225
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,499
How long is she gonna be
alone on that couch?
226
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:31,068
Knowing Al, six months.
Come on!
227
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,336
Hang up.
228
00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:34,772
You are just not
getting this at all.
229
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:37,174
These people are not
acting rationally.
230
00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:38,742
You're not acting rationally.
231
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:42,145
Hey, you cannot
build a relationship
based on desperation.
232
00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,682
We did!
233
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,952
Tim, they were
naming their babies.
234
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:49,319
They were joking.
235
00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:52,823
They laughed when I said,
"Call it Tim." Remember?
236
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:55,659
Hang up.
Not until you promise me
you'll call them.
237
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:58,662
All right. I won't call Al,
I'll talk to him tomorrow. OK?
238
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:01,499
It's a waste of time.
They'll work it out.
239
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,468
When you're in
a new relationship,
you're on an emotional high.
240
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:08,105
But after a while,
you come crashing down
to reality. I know I did.
241
00:15:20,451 --> 00:15:23,921
Happy hour, Wilson?
(chuckles)
242
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,089
No! No, no, no, Tim.
243
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:30,060
I find that two coats of bourbon
give my paintings a nice gloss.
244
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:34,598
Two coats of bourbon will
give anybody a nice gloss.
245
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,601
Tim, it was rumored
that the Mona Lisa
246
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,970
was covered with
a splash of whiskey.
247
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:43,340
That would explain why she had
that little plastered look.
248
00:15:43,342 --> 00:15:45,943
Actually, Tim, that look
may have had more to do
249
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,780
with her supposed relationship
with Leonardo da Vinci.
250
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,182
I don't wanna talk
about relationships today.
251
00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:55,586
Problem, Tim?
Yeah. Jill's
driving me nuts.
252
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,487
She fixes Al up
with a girl he likes.
253
00:15:57,489 --> 00:16:00,190
Now she thinks they're
moving too fast
and wants to break 'em up.
254
00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:03,928
Why do women meddle
in relationships?
Men don't care about that.
255
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,196
Uh-oh. You're falling victim
to a cultural stereotype.
256
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:09,066
Historically, men have been
the primary matchmakers.
257
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:11,869
(grunts quizzically)(grunts)
258
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:14,304
For example, among
the Xhosa Kaffir tribe,
259
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:18,308
a young man's father
would choose his first,
sometimes even his second, wife
260
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:22,479
in exchange for a sack
of barley or a goat.
261
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,982
I'd hold out for a sack
of cash and a Jag.
262
00:16:27,452 --> 00:16:30,854
You see, unlike
the ancient matchmakers,
263
00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:32,422
who received goods
for their services,
264
00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:34,491
Jill's motives are much purer.
265
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,827
She only wants
what's best for Al.
266
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,295
But why does she
drag me into it?
267
00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:40,631
Who the heck knows?
You know women.
268
00:16:44,302 --> 00:16:48,171
OK, Mom. Here's the fake letter.
We're gonna get them great!
269
00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,907
Boy, this is a big
moment for you.
270
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,809
Your first prank
against your brothers.
271
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,611
You came up with it
all by yourself.
272
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:56,780
Mom, this is only the beginning.
273
00:16:59,484 --> 00:17:01,151
Hi, guys.
How you doing?
274
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:03,420
Ah, so tonight's
the big night, eh, Mark?
275
00:17:03,422 --> 00:17:05,489
I hope you have
enough corn for Isiah.
276
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:08,458
Hey, Mark. Look at this.
You got a letter
from Isiah Thomas.
277
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:11,595
Wow! Another letter.
278
00:17:17,969 --> 00:17:21,805
Cool! Isiah's leaving me five
tickets to the Bulls game!
279
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,941
Wait a second.
Let me see that.
280
00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:29,513
Oh, man. Courtside seats
for the whole family.
281
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:31,181
All we have to do
is present the letter.
282
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:34,151
Wait a minute.
Let me see that.
283
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:36,386
Right. We're invited
to the locker room
284
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,321
to get an autographed
game ball after that?
285
00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:41,458
Oh, my gosh,
I can't believe it!
Oh, my gosh, I can't either.
286
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:43,994
Well, I don't believe it.
Did you guys write this?
287
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:46,530
No! I swear!
Really, Mom,
we didn't.
288
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:50,167
Yeah, we wrote
the other one!
They wrote the other one!
289
00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:52,602
Yeah, but this one's real!
Wait a minute.
290
00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:54,138
You wrote a fake letter?
291
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,874
Yeah, but this one's real.
This one's real.
292
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,576
I don't believe it.
Hey, hey, hey! Hey!
293
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,812
No!
Come on!
294
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:03,781
(Brad) I got this piece.
295
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,983
Tim! Tim.
296
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:09,386
Mark wrote that letter.
297
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:11,755
I knew that.
We're all in this together.
298
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,390
Suckers, suckers.
299
00:18:15,493 --> 00:18:18,195
Nice try, Dad.
I knew he did that.
300
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:21,198
Guys, go on up
and wash your hands.
Good job!
301
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,300
Can I go up
and tease 'em?
Absolutely.
302
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:24,601
Thank you.
303
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,704
Great!
304
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,806
I'm gonna clean up
and get to work.
305
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,775
Don't forget
to talk to Al about Ilene.
306
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,343
I got a better idea.
307
00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:36,914
I'm thinking maybe
I'll bring 'em over,
both of them.
308
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,849
They can watch
how we are together.
309
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,384
I'm sure they'll decide
they're much better off single.
310
00:18:44,322 --> 00:18:47,424
Ford part, obviously.
Mustang, '67.
311
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:48,892
You know it, Tim.
312
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:52,462
I have over 700 wheel covers
and hubcaps in my collection
at home.
313
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:56,033
Wow! That takes a lot of space.
You must have a real
understanding wife.
314
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,568
She left me, Tim.
315
00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:00,838
She said it was either
her or the hubcaps.
316
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,706
Hate to hear that.
317
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:05,743
But I think you made
the decision most of us
would have made.
318
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:09,213
Right, Al?
I don't think so, Tim.
319
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:12,916
I would never trade wheel covers
for the love of a good woman.
320
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:16,820
And, unlike you,
I have never used the show
as my personal forum.
321
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,456
I would like to say something
to my special lady.
322
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,358
What are you gonna do?
Speak from the heart.
323
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,360
Al, don't do this. Al!
324
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:25,996
(Tim) It was good to have
you on the show. Thanks.
325
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:29,266
Dr. Ilene Markham.
I, Albert Borland,
326
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:32,136
would like to spend
the rest of my life with you.
327
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:34,204
Will you marry me?
(laughs)
328
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:36,774
That's great. Great.
That's great.
329
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:39,209
What are you doing?
I'm proposing.
330
00:19:39,211 --> 00:19:41,544
Are you crazy?
He's crazy.
Crazy in love.
331
00:19:41,546 --> 00:19:44,381
Oh, boy! Aren't you?
Aren't we all?
332
00:19:44,383 --> 00:19:47,417
That's all the time we have.
Klaus, the music, please.
Thank you.
333
00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:50,420
That's it for Tool Time.
See you next time.
334
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:52,089
Thank you very much.
335
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:53,523
(woman) You're clear.
336
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:54,758
Are you out of your mind?
337
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,094
On the contrary.
I've never felt clearer.
338
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:59,029
You've only known
her a couple of days!
339
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,064
Yes, but I know
everything about her.
340
00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:03,533
Is she married?
I don't know.
341
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:06,203
Is she from around here?
I don't know.
342
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:09,739
Is she allergic to flannel?
Does she have any weird tattoos?
343
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:11,809
Can she digest
asparagus properly?
344
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,043
I don't know!
345
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,544
What do you know about her?
346
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,613
I do know that I like her.
347
00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:19,283
And I want to start a family
before I get too old.
348
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,852
What?
Well, you know...
349
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:26,323
My father was almost 60
when I was born.
350
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:29,092
I didn't know that.
Yeah, well, I...
351
00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:33,096
Thank you.
352
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:36,266
When we would go to the park,
we would sit
and feed the pigeons
353
00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:39,102
while I would watch the other
kids play ball with their dad.
354
00:20:41,472 --> 00:20:43,841
60 is a ways off, buddy.
355
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:47,677
And getting married
is a big step.
356
00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:49,880
It's, um...
357
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:51,648
It's like when you
bought your saber saw.
358
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:55,152
You didn't buy
the first one you saw.
Of course not!
359
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:57,687
You went back to the hardware
store a couple of times,
looked at a few of 'em,
360
00:20:57,689 --> 00:20:59,723
to make sure
there's no surprises.
361
00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:02,492
Well, yeah.
That's... true.
362
00:21:02,494 --> 00:21:03,793
Women are like that.
363
00:21:03,795 --> 00:21:05,762
You don't want
to marry a saber saw
364
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:11,634
and wake up one day
and find yourself lying
next to a... jackhammer.
365
00:21:11,636 --> 00:21:14,338
So, what you're saying is,
366
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:15,906
you don't want to
go to bed with one tool
367
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:18,242
and wake up with another.
368
00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:26,250
Ideally, you don't want
to be going to bed with tools.
369
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:30,120
You know what
I'm driving at here, Al?
370
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,356
Yes, I do.
371
00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:34,724
Oh, but, Tim,
372
00:21:34,726 --> 00:21:37,427
I've already proposed.
It's gonna be on the air
in a few hours.
373
00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:39,429
I think I got that covered.
374
00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:41,365
Really?
Yeah.
375
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:44,902
What do you say you and I
go over to the park
and play a little catch?
376
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:47,771
That'd be great. Then maybe
we could feed the pigeons.
377
00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:50,774
Let's not get carried away, Al.
378
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:56,780
I'd say this is a Mustang,probably '67.You know it, Tim.
379
00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:59,649
He really proposes
to her on the air?
Yeah, yeah.
380
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:01,785
Why didn't you stop him?
I couldn't.
381
00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:05,188
He was like a belt sander
headed for some pine.
382
00:22:05,190 --> 00:22:07,291
What will happen
when she sees this?
383
00:22:07,293 --> 00:22:09,192
Covered, covered.
384
00:22:10,895 --> 00:22:12,195
Dr. Ilene Markham.
385
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:14,965
I, Albert Borland,would like to spend...
386
00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:16,699
(Tim's voice) Tuesday night....with you.
387
00:22:16,701 --> 00:22:18,701
(electronic voicewith Japanese accent)
388
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,943
Look, it's Godzilla.
389
00:22:25,945 --> 00:22:29,246
The city's in danger.It's Godzilla!
390
00:22:29,248 --> 00:22:32,615
It's not,it's your mother!
391
00:22:39,457 --> 00:22:43,760
Dear Mark.
392
00:22:43,762 --> 00:22:47,197
Sorry it's taken me
so long to write back,
393
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,999
but I've been really busy.
394
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:52,169
(woman) Isiah, honey,
come to dinner.
In a minute.
395
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:56,340
I gotta write back to this kid.
He's written me 25 times.
396
00:22:56,342 --> 00:22:58,275
Your corn's getting cold.
397
00:23:01,312 --> 00:23:04,314
(woman) Isiah, honey.
Come to dinner.
In a minute.
398
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:08,785
I've gotta write back to this
kid. He's written me 25 times.
399
00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:13,556
Come on, Zeke, man.
Forget the kid.
The corn's on, buddy.
400
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:15,492
We got plenty of corn.
401
00:23:15,494 --> 00:23:19,329
There's pimentos with it.
Come on, buddy.
402
00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:21,731
Come on, I said.
402
00:23:22,305 --> 00:23:28,492
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