Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:03,567
- Guys, what are you doing?
- We're watching the game.
2
00:00:03,636 --> 00:00:05,160
We're playing sumo wrestlers.
3
00:00:05,238 --> 00:00:08,696
You can't be watching the game and
playing sumo wrestlers at the same time.
4
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:11,107
Yes, we can. We're gifted.
5
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,847
And l am so proud.
Now take it outside.
6
00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:17,974
Come on, pass the ball.
Pass the ball. Pass the ball!
7
00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:21,782
Yes! But not to the other team, you idiot.
8
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,846
Oh, come on. Not now,
l'm listening to the game. Come on.
9
00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:25,447
No. l want you
to look at some of this stuff.
10
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,323
Oh, come on. lt's tied and the Wolverines
need me. Please? Please?
11
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:30,693
No, l need you.
Come on, you can miss an inning.
12
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,789
lnning?
13
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,527
Why do you always bug me
during the football game?
14
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,331
Did l bug you during childbirth?
15
00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:41,140
No, but you bugged me
during conception.
16
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,309
There, see? lt's a commercial.
You can talk to me.
17
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,674
All right.
You got two minutes. Hurry up.
18
00:00:45,745 --> 00:00:49,647
You know, these are bits and pieces
of wills that we started and never finished.
19
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,776
The will? lt's that again?
Didn't we just do this?
20
00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:58,085
Yeah, this is real recent.
"ln the event that we have children."
21
00:00:58,158 --> 00:00:59,557
You see,
l think you're avoiding this again.
22
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:02,925
Every time we go to make an appointment
with the lawyer we end up canceling it.
23
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,829
Usually because you come up with
some bizarre physical ailment.
24
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,266
- Do not.
- Last time it was because your hair hurt.
25
00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:11,394
lt tightens up on me every so often.
26
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:12,597
Oh, game's on.
27
00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:14,606
Tim, l'm gonna make an appointment
with the lawyer.
28
00:01:14,674 --> 00:01:16,869
lf you're even thinking about getting sick,
go see a doctor.
29
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:21,642
- Honey, l'm healthy as a horse.
- Then see a veterinarian.
30
00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:24,808
When was the last time
that you had a complete physical?
31
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:28,047
Honey, l...
l go to the doctor all the time.
32
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:31,284
l'm not talking about
the emergency room.
33
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:39,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
34
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,652
Well, what do you think?
Can we put the kids in the middle?
35
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:51,161
One,
36
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:52,397
two,
37
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,064
three.
38
00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:59,337
- Yes, it works.
- That was awesome.
39
00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:02,438
l bet if we both jumped on it
we could get twice the power.
40
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,073
Yeah.
41
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:09,480
- What else can we shoot across the yard?
- Hi, guys.
42
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,786
Hey, Mark. Come here.
43
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,757
Have you ever played Rocket Man?
44
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:19,889
- You wanna play with me?
- Well, yeah.
45
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,627
- And guess what.
- What?
46
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,532
- You're gonna be the rocket.
- Cool.
47
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:26,572
Now you just stand there and wait.
48
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:29,870
And you might wanna
put your hands out like Superman.
49
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:33,037
- Like this?
- Yeah, that's perfect.
50
00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:34,841
One, two...
51
00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:36,882
Wait! Hold it there!
52
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,077
But, Mom, l'm gonna fly.
53
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,347
This flight is grounded.
Mark, you go inside.
54
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:47,018
You two, you just stay right where you are.
Don't even think about moving.
55
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:49,823
But, Mom, they wanted to play with me.
56
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:53,423
Mark, when Brad and Randy say they
wanna play with you, always ask yourself:
57
00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:56,866
"What do they want to do to me?"
58
00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:58,961
OK. Hi, Dad.
59
00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:02,599
Hello, my lucky little offspring
and my even luckier wife.
60
00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:05,200
Well, you're in a zippy mood.
61
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:09,078
l took your advice. Saw Dr. Brody
today, got a complete physical.
62
00:04:09,148 --> 00:04:14,586
- Really?
- He said l'm fitter than a Greek god.
63
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,981
Just call me Baklava.
64
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:23,594
As a matter of fact, he was so impressed
he wanted to know if he could
65
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:27,963
frame my chest x-rays
and hang them in the waiting room.
66
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:30,901
Good thing he's not a proctologist.
67
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:35,539
- What are you doing?
- Working on the will.
68
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,872
l told you l was healthy.
We don't need to do this now.
69
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,572
You don't have to do it,
l'm doing it.
70
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:44,811
This first part is just about
listing your personal assets.
71
00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,181
l'm not doing this.
72
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:48,686
You don't have to do it.
l told you, l'm doing it.
73
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:52,657
"Upon your death, how and to whom
do you want your assets to be distributed?"
74
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:55,751
Why are we always talking about
my death? Let's talk about your death.
75
00:04:55,828 --> 00:04:59,924
Statistics show it's much more common
for the man to die first.
76
00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:02,991
Yeah? Well,
look what we have to live with.
77
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:09,402
And it's remarks like that
that lead to those early deaths.
78
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:12,171
Now, let me see.
Tim's tools...
79
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,736
- go to his brother Steve.
- No. No, no! No!
80
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,408
- They don't go to Steve. Don't...
- l thought you weren't participating.
81
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,747
l'm not participating. My tools are mine.
They don't go with anybody.
82
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:23,050
- l want to be buried with them.
- Oh, no.
83
00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:26,785
You're not being buried.
l'm having you cremated.
84
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:30,761
No, you're not. Put me in some stupid urn
up here on the bookcase? Forget about it.
85
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,128
No, l'm not gonna do that.
l'm gonna put you in a mayonnaise jar
86
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:35,997
behind the wing nuts.
87
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:41,105
Rinse it out before you pour me in it.
88
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,972
There is something
that we do have to talk about.
89
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,910
And that is who is gonna get the kids
if we both die.
90
00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:48,742
Wedgie patrol!
91
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:51,716
Hey! Come on.
No wedgie patrol.
92
00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:56,153
Why wait till we're dead?
Won't somebody take them now?
93
00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:59,453
No, really. l'm serious about this.
What about one of my sisters?
94
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,686
You know,
Katie or Robin would take them.
95
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:04,525
lf we gotta give them away, give them
to my brother Jeff. The boys love Jeff.
96
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:06,224
Of course they do,
he's the only human being
97
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:09,268
who can belch
"The Star-Spangled Banner."
98
00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:11,667
No, look. Let's just...
We'll just talk about this part later.
99
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:14,798
We'll go back to the other thing.
You know, we don't have to itemize.
100
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:19,004
lt basically just says that if l die you get
everything and if you die l get everything.
101
00:06:19,078 --> 00:06:21,876
My stuffs so much cooler than your stuff.
102
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:27,113
lf you die, what do l end up with? That
weird little pig oven mitt and that blender.
103
00:06:27,186 --> 00:06:30,280
lf l die, you get
the Binford 18-piece chisel and punch set.
104
00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:34,725
Oh, well, now you see why
l'm so desperate to get this down on paper.
105
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:38,662
But let's say l die
and you remarry a young stud named Paco
106
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,665
who's a bullfighter in Mexico.
Then what happens?
107
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:43,566
l learn Spanish.
108
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,669
Anyway, before we say goodbye, Al's got
a little project he'd like to talk about.
109
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:54,304
That's right, Tim. l've recently
bought land up near Houghton Lake.
110
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,143
l'm building my own log cabin.
111
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,412
Log cabin. Oh, yeah, yeah.
112
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:05,480
A man, a log, and his tools.
113
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:11,486
Al comes from pretty hardy pioneer stock.
114
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,725
l do.
115
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,736
As a matter of fact, we have a picture
of the matriarch of the Borland clan,
116
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:21,433
Al's great-great-grandmother,
Sal Borland.
117
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:31,641
How long have you been working
on that cabin, Al?
118
00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:34,777
About four and a half months, Tim.
119
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:38,085
But that's only because
l'm doing it the old-fashioned way -
120
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:40,455
the sweat of my brow and an ax.
121
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:43,256
A pox on your ax, Al.
122
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,156
This is what you need, buddy.
123
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:54,429
You know, the Binford 8200.
82cc's, 42-inch pro bar,
124
00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,998
silicone pistons, steel bucking spike.
125
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:03,346
That's fine, Tim, but l'm trying
to build it the way my forefathers did.
126
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:06,010
But, Al, three out of four fathers
recommend this.
127
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:16,494
l prefer the ax, Tim.
You power that yourself.
128
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:19,429
Fine. Build it the wimpy way, Al.
129
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,797
But next time on Tool Time
l'm gonna show everybody
130
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,530
just how to use the Binford 8200.
131
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:34,045
That way you can all learn
how to build your own log condominium.
132
00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:36,581
Well, Tim, l think you should point out
that that particular chainsaw
133
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,082
is very powerful and dangerous...
134
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:41,047
and should not be...
135
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,815
should not be used without...
136
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:05,272
This particular chainsaw should not be
used without the assistance of a trained...
137
00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:11,809
Do you guys know what a will is?
138
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:15,386
lt's a paper that says
who's gonna get your stuff when you die.
139
00:09:15,454 --> 00:09:18,912
Yeah, it's good to have one
in case we kill you.
140
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:21,221
Mom and Dad are making one now.
141
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:24,024
- l get the hot rod.
- No way. Why?
142
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:26,894
'Cause l'm the oldest.
l get all the good stuff.
143
00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:28,763
- No, you don't. l want the hot rod.
- Too bad.
144
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:31,302
Yeah, too bad, huh?
145
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,800
Hey. Good leg sweep, Randy.
146
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:39,611
Who gets the hot rod when you die?
147
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:42,773
When l die? That's all you're worried
about - who gets the hot rod?
148
00:09:42,848 --> 00:09:46,340
Fine, forget the hot rod.
Who gets the stereo?
149
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:50,554
Why don't you let me worry about that
and you worry about setting the table.
150
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:53,251
l'll figure out my will myself.
151
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,456
- ls that you, Wilson?
- Yes, indeedy, good neighbor.
152
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:03,593
Actually what you heard
was Anas platyrhynchos.
153
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:06,570
more commonly known as the mallard.
154
00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:10,405
Wilson, Jill and l are working on our will
and it's really getting to me.
155
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:14,469
Actually, Tim, it's quite appropriate
that you're contemplating death.
156
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,741
Yeah, why's that?
157
00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:19,649
Well, you see, when you rearrange
the letters of your name, Tim Taylor,
158
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,584
it spells the word "mortality."
159
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:24,316
Oh, l hate to hear stuff
like that, Wilson.
160
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:26,381
Does that disturb you, Tim?
161
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,758
Not as much as the fact
that you know that.
162
00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:33,924
Now, Jill Taylor,
on the other hand, would be...
163
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,729
"jolly trail."
164
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:43,539
There's been no jolly trail over here.
We've been arguing about that will.
165
00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:49,013
l hate wills. l wonder who started them.
Where'd they come from?
166
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:52,175
Well, Tim, l'm sure you could trace it
back to some chiseled drawing
167
00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:54,742
on the cave wall of Cro-Magnon man.
168
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,048
Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting.
169
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:02,292
l, Grog - ting, ting,
ting, ting, ting -
170
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:05,660
leave my wheel - ting,
ting, ting, ting -
171
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:08,859
to Grog Jr. - ting, ting.
172
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:12,700
To my loving wife - ting,
ting, ting, ting -
173
00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:17,038
whose shrill cry scares the mastodon
- ting, ting, ting, ting -
174
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:20,471
l leave this stick.
175
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:28,482
You see, Tim, wills are the natural
outgrowth of our mortality consciousness.
176
00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:29,543
Huh?
177
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:32,819
l'm just saying the human being
is the only animal, from an early age,
178
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:36,589
that realizes that it's going to die.
179
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:39,631
lt may know it's going to die,
but it doesn't know when.
180
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:44,068
Oh, l wouldn't worry, neighbor.
You probably have 50 more good years.
181
00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:46,730
Or l could die tomorrow.
182
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:06,291
- Honey, what are you doing?
- l'm working on my hot rod.
183
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:08,121
lt's 4:30.
184
00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:11,595
l wanted to get an early start
on it today. Did l wake you up?
185
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:15,464
No, l'm starting my paper route
this morning.
186
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,369
l'm sorry.
187
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:23,604
- Are you thinking about the will?
- No.
188
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,940
Well, l have been.
189
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:29,009
l've decided that you're right.
190
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,379
Maybe we should
let your brother Jeff have the kids.
191
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:32,644
- No.
- They love him.
192
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:36,814
Jeff doesn't know how to raise kids.
He's demented.
193
00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:41,952
He used to put honey on my butt
and make me sit in red ant piles.
194
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,924
l thought that you said
that that was who you wanted.
195
00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:49,024
Well, l changed my mind.
196
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:52,434
- Then who do you want?
- l don't want anyone.
197
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,996
Tim, what is bothering you?
198
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:57,565
- Nothing is bothering me.
- Come on, there's something.
199
00:12:57,643 --> 00:13:00,111
ls it anything to do with your dad?
200
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:01,669
No.
lt has nothing to do with my dad.
201
00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:04,875
l just don't think anybody's qualified
to take care of the boys.
202
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,885
l guess you and l just can't die.
203
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:10,945
You don't think
you're being a little irrational?
204
00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:15,050
Easy for you to say.
You're "jolly trail."
205
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,788
- What?
- See, l'm not being irrational.
206
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,329
l just know too much.
207
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:22,026
lf l were an animal
l would be unconscious.
208
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:24,592
Think about that.
209
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:32,971
Thank you.
210
00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:35,673
Welcome to Tool Time.
l'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor,
211
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:39,275
and you all know Al,
the great-great-grandson of Sal Borland.
212
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:50,928
Al, you perchance
have some friends in the audience today?
213
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,623
More than friends, Tim.
214
00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:54,859
l'd like to introduce
a group that l inspired.
215
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,596
People without personalities.
216
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:02,806
No, Tim. l'd like to introduce a group
that's in our studio audience today,
217
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,605
the Al Borland Fan Club.
218
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:11,149
Welcome, members of ABFC.
219
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,009
Al, do you call it a club
220
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:19,114
'cause you've gotta beat these guys
over the head to get them to join?
221
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,819
l don't think so, Tim.
222
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:33,269
Well, since your fan club's here, why don't
l let you introduce the project for today, Al?
223
00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:39,372
Today, Tim will be demonstrating
log cutting with the Binford 8200.
224
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:42,744
And to help him out, we have
a couple of lumberjacks with us today,
225
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,682
Red Jenkins and Phil Gaxton.
226
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:50,011
This way.
227
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,613
Thanks, men.
228
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:55,023
- Here you go, Al.
- Thanks for the buttons.
229
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:02,363
Golly, it's a lot bigger
than it looks in the picture, isn't it?
230
00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:04,664
Hope you have life insurance.
231
00:15:05,504 --> 00:15:08,905
They don't call it
the Widow Maker for nothing.
232
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,204
W-W-Widow Maker?
233
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:14,508
That's right.
But l'm sure you'll do all right, Tim.
234
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,140
Al, this would be
the perfect project for you.
235
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:19,616
Tim, it's your show.
236
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:24,320
l wonder if your fans would like to see you
take the reins of this bad boy.
237
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,483
What about it, Al pals? Ha ha!
238
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:34,060
You see, Tim, an Al pal's first duty
is to watch out for Al.
239
00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:43,800
And it's my first duty to fire you
for not doing what l say, Al.
240
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:47,471
Red, Phil,
why don't you bring out Al's log?
241
00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:48,945
Here's a lesson for you kids at home.
242
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:52,245
Always have your coworker
do the dangerous stunts.
243
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:54,013
Sure, the girls
are gonna think he's cooler,
244
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:58,580
but you'll get the girl in the end
because you survived.
245
00:15:58,657 --> 00:16:01,057
Remember, safety first.
246
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,193
You've seen it cut through wood.
247
00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:07,892
you've seen it cut through concrete.
but that's not all.
248
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,562
The Kasaki steak knife will also
cut through this to-inch exhaust pipe.
249
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,504
Oh.
250
00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:17,865
Uh-huh. OK. l found it.
251
00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:21,970
Expiration is 7/93.
252
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,242
Right.
l want the whole Kasaki set.
253
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:27,945
The super set, right.
l get that leather pouch, right?
254
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:30,580
Oh, that just looks like leather? Oh.
255
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:34,820
All right, but l ordered a whole set so
l get that titanium cheese slicer too, right?
256
00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:36,724
Great. Thank you.
257
00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:38,126
Hey.
258
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:42,133
What are you doing up, little man?
lt's 3:00 in the morning.
259
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:44,226
Can't sleep?
260
00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:48,672
- What's the matter?
- Dad, are you gonna die?
261
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,539
Not till l've paid for these knives.
262
00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:55,003
Come over here.
What's the matter with you?
263
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,811
- You told Wilson you're going to die.
- You heard that?
264
00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:00,943
l was in the tree.
265
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:05,423
Well, l didn't mean l was gonna die now.
l'm gonna live for a long, long time.
266
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:08,255
But your dad died
when you were a kid.
267
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,956
That doesn't mean
anything's gonna happen to me.
268
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,967
But what if it does?
269
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:20,467
Well, l'll find somebody really cool
to take care of you.
270
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,598
Like Al?
271
00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:30,437
He'll assist that person.
272
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:35,283
lf you're not gonna die,
why do you need a will?
273
00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:36,878
'Cause, uh...
274
00:17:36,955 --> 00:17:38,855
Honey?
275
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:42,917
That's just something
that every responsible adult has to do.
276
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,793
That's what l was gonna say.
277
00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:47,491
You don't have to worry
about that stuff.
278
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:51,935
No, you only have to worry
about vegetables,
279
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,973
and cleaning up your own room,
280
00:17:55,040 --> 00:18:00,444
and making sure your brothers
don't rocket you over the house.
281
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:04,548
Besides, you don't have to worry about
that. Just know that your mom and l...
282
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:07,483
Shh.
283
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:21,429
So l guess you're not the only one
that's been losing sleep over this.
284
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,901
Yeah, but he gets to ask questions.
l gotta answer them.
285
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:27,404
Guess that makes you the dad.
286
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,338
- Are you OK?
- Yeah.
287
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:37,445
- What are you thinking about?
- The car.
288
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:42,920
Hot rod?
289
00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:45,650
A1 957
290
00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:48,056
Ford Fairlane 500 Skyliner.
291
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,961
lt was two-tone,
deep emerald green and ivory.
292
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,926
Why are you thinking about that?
293
00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:57,757
Uh...
294
00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:00,134
That was the...
295
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:06,110
That was the car that Dad and my brothers,
we used to goof around with on Saturdays.
296
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:08,169
And, God, it was...
lt was a hardtop convertible.
297
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:12,707
Those are tough to get. You can't
find them. Boy, that was a great car.
298
00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:15,514
You know, and then, you know, he died.
299
00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:23,022
Uncle Harry took the car and he sold it.
We never seen it again.
300
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:28,431
And that was the best thing
l ever remember about my dad.
301
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,435
Honey,
302
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:35,564
isn't that the perfect reason
for you to sign a will?
303
00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:38,269
Well, that would be
the perfect reason. Sure.
304
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,641
Then why don't you sign it?
305
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,074
Dad was, uh...
306
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:47,983
only three years older
than l am now when he died.
307
00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:52,387
And he had all boys
and l have all boys.
308
00:19:52,457 --> 00:19:56,052
And he, you know,
he built a Ford in the garage and...
309
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:59,063
l got a Ford in the garage, and l don't want
my kids growing up without their dad,
310
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:03,659
and l kinda figure that if l sign that
will it means l'm gonna die.
311
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,533
But you know that's not true.
312
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,269
Besides there's...
313
00:20:14,112 --> 00:20:17,343
there's one big difference
between you and your father.
314
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:19,350
What's that?
315
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:21,784
His car worked.
316
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:29,286
- l miss my dad an awful lot, honey.
- l know, l know.
317
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,092
- Wanna go upstairs and go to bed?
- All right.
318
00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:39,729
Gonna be awful tired tomorrow.
319
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:42,330
- Can you carry Mark up?
- Sure.
320
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:44,136
OK.
321
00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:11,797
Oh, like that's believable - a steak knife
that could cut through a tree trunk.
322
00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:16,864
What kinds of idiots call up these shows in
the middle of the night and order this junk?
323
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:20,105
Huh! lt takes all kinds, honey.
324
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:28,911
Mom?
325
00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:31,478
Will you give my will to the lawyer?
326
00:21:31,556 --> 00:21:35,083
You made a will?
That is so responsible of you.
327
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:39,290
Let's see. "l give my piggy bank,
my Rollerblades and all my toys to Mom."
328
00:21:39,364 --> 00:21:43,596
"Except my G.l. Joe
that Brad pulled the head off."
329
00:21:43,669 --> 00:21:48,106
"l leave that to Randy
'cause l think he knows where the head is."
330
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:53,774
Maybe we can take care of that
while you're still alive.
331
00:21:53,845 --> 00:21:56,609
- He gave everything to you?
- Yep.
332
00:21:56,682 --> 00:21:59,344
Just like you.
333
00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:02,182
You know, honey,
l've been thinking.
334
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:05,519
lf l die first,
l want you to remarry.
335
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:07,785
Thanks.
336
00:22:07,859 --> 00:22:11,192
- Would you?
- You just said l could.
337
00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:15,430
Yeah, l know,
but would you?
338
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,593
Uh, are you sure you're dead?
339
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:19,261
Yeah.
340
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:21,863
- How long?
- Years.
341
00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:24,539
OK, l'd remarry.
342
00:22:24,609 --> 00:22:27,009
What kind of woman would it be?
343
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:31,209
Well, l guess l'd look
for a woman that was alive.
344
00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:34,718
That would make it easier
to get the blood test.
345
00:22:34,786 --> 00:22:36,686
Maybe l'd...
346
00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:39,383
Well, l'd want someone
who's a good mom,
347
00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:42,427
sensitive and caring,
348
00:22:42,494 --> 00:22:45,952
good sense of humor,
and loving.
349
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:51,697
You know, because l'd like my second
marriage to be a lot better than this one.
350
00:22:55,841 --> 00:22:58,435
l'll haunt you.
351
00:23:02,013 --> 00:23:03,810
The Binford 8200.
352
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:05,873
Huh? 42-inch pro bar,
353
00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:07,646
silicone pistons.
354
00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:10,586
Huh? Steel something or other.
355
00:23:13,592 --> 00:23:14,820
and should not be...
356
00:23:14,893 --> 00:23:16,622
should not be used without...
357
00:23:17,305 --> 00:23:23,260
Please rate this subtitle at %url%
Help other users to choose the best subtitles
29549
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.