All language subtitles for Home Improvement - 314 - Dream On

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,974 --> 00:00:02,693 Does everybody know what time it is? 2 00:00:02,751 --> 00:00:04,624 Tool Time! 3 00:00:04,654 --> 00:00:06,696 That's right! Binford Tools is proud to present 4 00:00:06,727 --> 00:00:10,024 Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Whoo! 5 00:00:14,897 --> 00:00:16,870 Thank you, Heidi. Welcome to Tool Time. 6 00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:18,638 I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. 7 00:00:18,668 --> 00:00:22,170 I think you all know my assistant - Al... Borland. 8 00:00:24,006 --> 00:00:25,846 Today on Tool Time, 9 00:00:25,876 --> 00:00:28,581 Tim and I are going to be talking about refinishing. 10 00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:30,217 That's right, Al. 11 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,152 Just when you're finished repairing that old table, 12 00:00:32,182 --> 00:00:35,588 you think you're finished, but you're not really finished until you refinish. 13 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:37,590 Are you finished? 14 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:40,121 No, but I have an uncle who lives in Denmark. 15 00:00:42,424 --> 00:00:45,026 - Tim. - Actually, his name's Lars. 16 00:00:47,329 --> 00:00:49,870 We've taken the first coat off of this table, 17 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:52,205 now we're ready to sand it down and put our last coat of stain on there. 18 00:00:52,235 --> 00:00:56,009 Before you get started, be sure to wear protective eyewear and dust mask. 19 00:00:56,039 --> 00:00:57,077 That's right. 20 00:00:57,107 --> 00:00:59,212 Allergic reactions to wood are common 21 00:00:59,242 --> 00:01:02,710 when working with members of the nut-bearing family. 22 00:01:06,181 --> 00:01:07,782 Like the Borlands. 23 00:01:09,584 --> 00:01:13,493 It's also a good idea to wear protective gloves. 24 00:01:13,523 --> 00:01:15,595 Al, you're starting to act like my mother. 25 00:01:15,625 --> 00:01:18,659 If that beard were any thicker, you'd look like your mother. 26 00:01:23,832 --> 00:01:25,906 Tim, I think it's a good idea to wear the gloves. 27 00:01:25,936 --> 00:01:28,708 I've been working with wood all my life. I'm not allergic to hardwood. 28 00:01:28,738 --> 00:01:31,945 That's not the point. There's a lot of dust here and... 29 00:01:31,975 --> 00:01:34,381 Well, you can develop an allergy over time. 30 00:01:34,411 --> 00:01:39,219 Symptoms can include puffiness around the eyes, severe rash, extreme swelling. 31 00:01:39,249 --> 00:01:42,317 Oh, Al, I think you may be right. My eyes are really itchy. 32 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:50,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 33 00:02:57,726 --> 00:02:59,886 What do you think? Could we put the kids in the middle? 34 00:03:03,665 --> 00:03:05,805 Al, we just had lunch with the crew. 35 00:03:05,835 --> 00:03:10,110 They loved the gag today. Klaus almost choked on his hot dog. 36 00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:12,412 They loved the way the hands swelled up. 37 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,382 Not as swelled up as your head. 38 00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,550 What's eating your shorts? 39 00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:21,388 My shorts are fine, thank you. 40 00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,956 You're gonna be a load of laughs at dinner tonight. 41 00:03:23,986 --> 00:03:27,293 Not like you've ever been a load of laughs. 42 00:03:27,323 --> 00:03:30,196 I don't think that Ilene and I can make it. 43 00:03:30,226 --> 00:03:33,500 - Jill's expecting you. - It's not a good night for us. 44 00:03:33,530 --> 00:03:36,202 Why not? 45 00:03:36,232 --> 00:03:38,238 It's personal. I don't wanna talk about it. 46 00:03:38,268 --> 00:03:42,075 I won't tell anybody. I'm your best friend. I'm your only friend. 47 00:03:42,105 --> 00:03:45,278 It's a remark like that that makes me not wanna tell you. 48 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:49,782 I'm kidding. I can see a big flannel cloud hovering over your head. 49 00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:52,580 Come on, Al. Tell me what's the matter. 50 00:03:56,051 --> 00:04:00,826 Well, last night, something very disturbing happened. 51 00:04:00,856 --> 00:04:03,430 Ilene... had a dream. 52 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,898 No. 53 00:04:05,928 --> 00:04:09,630 Not a dream. While she was sleeping? 54 00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:14,707 Scientists may want to study her. 55 00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:17,410 You don't understand. It was a very passionate dream. 56 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,774 - Clothes were strewn about. - Not strewn about! 57 00:04:22,177 --> 00:04:24,684 Yes, strewn. 58 00:04:24,714 --> 00:04:28,688 She was talking to this man who she said had a very deep voice. 59 00:04:28,718 --> 00:04:32,892 And they were... they were riding a golden stallion, 60 00:04:32,922 --> 00:04:35,723 and he was wearing bicycle shorts. 61 00:04:40,962 --> 00:04:42,935 Get a grip, will you? 62 00:04:42,965 --> 00:04:45,972 It's a dream. Don't you dream about other women sometimes? 63 00:04:46,002 --> 00:04:49,942 No! My dreams are good, clean fun. 64 00:04:49,972 --> 00:04:53,279 You're driving yourself crazy over a silly dream with some jerk in it. 65 00:04:53,309 --> 00:04:57,011 Well, it wasn't just some jerk, Tim. It was you. 66 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,521 - Really? - Oh, I shouldn't have told you that. 67 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,189 Sure you should have. 68 00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:06,326 A golden stallion. Hyah! Hyah! 69 00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:08,794 - Tight bicycle shorts. - Tim! 70 00:05:08,824 --> 00:05:11,164 Hyah! Hyah! Hyah... 71 00:05:11,194 --> 00:05:15,268 It's just a dream, a very common dream. 72 00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:17,270 Women all over the tri-state area 73 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:20,607 look at me as a symbol of virility. 74 00:05:20,637 --> 00:05:24,010 All I can say is, I don't want you showing up in her dreams again, 75 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,407 or there's gonna be trouble. 76 00:05:28,377 --> 00:05:31,312 What, are you gonna fall asleep and dream like you're beating me up? 77 00:05:33,649 --> 00:05:36,322 OK, I know that it's not your fault. 78 00:05:36,352 --> 00:05:40,126 It's just that Ilene means so much to me. 79 00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:42,262 And, well... 80 00:05:42,292 --> 00:05:45,498 I wanted to be the one on that golden stallion riding into the sunset, 81 00:05:45,528 --> 00:05:48,496 wearing skimpy bicycle shorts. 82 00:05:49,898 --> 00:05:52,667 There's a pretty picture. 83 00:06:01,710 --> 00:06:04,551 E-A-T. "Eat." 84 00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:06,852 OK, that's three points. 85 00:06:06,882 --> 00:06:10,651 And it only took you half an hour to come up with it. 86 00:06:13,154 --> 00:06:15,328 OK, Randy. It's your turn. 87 00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:18,698 All right. I'll put an "M" on top of the "E," 88 00:06:18,728 --> 00:06:21,934 and then "L-O-N." That's "melon." 89 00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:25,271 Double word score - 14 points. 90 00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:28,269 - Pretty good. - Watch this. 91 00:06:29,904 --> 00:06:35,515 After the "N," I'll add "O-L-O-G-Y." 92 00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:38,112 That's 16 points. 93 00:06:43,518 --> 00:06:45,253 "Melonology"? 94 00:06:47,922 --> 00:06:50,057 The study of melons. 95 00:06:52,661 --> 00:06:55,167 There's no such word as "melonology." 96 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:59,038 Yeah, there is. Call the fruit section at the grocery store. 97 00:06:59,068 --> 00:07:02,303 Who should I ask for - the melonologist? 98 00:07:03,472 --> 00:07:05,578 - Hey. Hi, guys. - Hey, Dad. 99 00:07:05,608 --> 00:07:06,879 - Hey, Dad. - Hey, Dad. 100 00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:10,383 Scrabble. That's a great way to learn words. 101 00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:13,219 - Who put down "melonology"? - Brad. 102 00:07:13,249 --> 00:07:14,420 Me! 103 00:07:14,450 --> 00:07:16,250 All right. 104 00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:20,727 - Hi. - Hi. 105 00:07:20,757 --> 00:07:22,862 I'm so proud of Brad. 106 00:07:22,892 --> 00:07:25,732 Playing Scrabble, he came up with "melonology." 107 00:07:25,762 --> 00:07:27,867 That's not a word, Tim. 108 00:07:27,897 --> 00:07:30,498 Melonology - the study of guys named Mel. 109 00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:35,174 Did you tell Al and Ilene to come for dinner at seven? 110 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:38,678 Yeah. They almost didn't come. 111 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:41,681 Al's upset because apparently Ilene had a dream about me. 112 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:44,077 What'd she eat before she went to sleep? 113 00:07:45,747 --> 00:07:50,122 Get this. She dreamed that I was riding a golden stallion, 114 00:07:50,152 --> 00:07:52,886 with a deep sexy voice and tight bicycle shorts. 115 00:07:54,389 --> 00:07:58,025 Wow! She must have had a big bean burrito. 116 00:08:01,430 --> 00:08:04,069 Really? A lot of women watch Tool Time. 117 00:08:04,099 --> 00:08:08,736 Sooner or later, they are thinking, "I want him." 118 00:08:15,377 --> 00:08:18,584 Smirk if you will, but you're not the only woman who dreams about me. 119 00:08:18,614 --> 00:08:20,586 I don't dream about you, Tim. 120 00:08:20,616 --> 00:08:23,222 It's bad enough I have to see you when I'm awake. 121 00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:25,658 Hey, guys, guys! Come take this laundry. 122 00:08:25,688 --> 00:08:27,760 Take it upstairs, fold it and put it away. 123 00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:30,090 - Sure, Mom. - Yes, Mother. 124 00:08:32,894 --> 00:08:35,735 They actually did it. 125 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:39,205 Be honest with me. When you dream about me, what am I usually wearing? 126 00:08:39,235 --> 00:08:42,174 I told you. I don't dream about you. 127 00:08:42,204 --> 00:08:45,077 - Who do you dream about? - You know, the usual. 128 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:48,147 Like Mario Andretti, Al Unser, that sort of stuff? 129 00:08:48,177 --> 00:08:50,683 No. That's who you dream about. 130 00:08:50,713 --> 00:08:53,486 The guy that I dream about isn't even real. 131 00:08:53,516 --> 00:08:57,824 If he's not real, it's, like, a cartoon character, like Bullwinkle? 132 00:08:57,854 --> 00:09:00,393 No, Tim. It's not Bullwinkle. 133 00:09:00,423 --> 00:09:02,328 Scooby-Doo? 134 00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:04,631 Yeah, that's right. You really know me! 135 00:09:04,662 --> 00:09:07,400 Me and Scooby-Doo. 136 00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:11,871 I hold Scooby's hand. We walk along the Scooby-beach. 137 00:09:11,901 --> 00:09:14,368 Do a little Scooby-diving. 138 00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:22,081 Come on! If it isn't Scooby-Doo or Bullwinkle, who is it? 139 00:09:22,111 --> 00:09:24,250 I'm not gonna tell you. You'll make fun of me. 140 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,753 No, no. I'll make you a deal. 141 00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:29,221 I'll tell you what I dream about if you tell me what you dream about. 142 00:09:29,251 --> 00:09:31,323 I don't wanna know what you dream about. 143 00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,554 All right, it's your turn. 144 00:09:35,957 --> 00:09:40,299 All right. If you must know... 145 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:42,296 I dream about Tarzan. 146 00:09:44,533 --> 00:09:46,205 Tarzan of the jungle? 147 00:09:46,235 --> 00:09:50,109 No, Tarzan of St. Louis. 148 00:09:50,139 --> 00:09:53,012 Tarzan doesn't even have a car. 149 00:09:53,042 --> 00:09:57,650 We don't need a car. We never leave the tree house. 150 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,552 It's just Tarzan and me. I'm Jane. 151 00:09:59,582 --> 00:10:01,554 I'm wearing this cute leopard-skinned outfit, 152 00:10:01,584 --> 00:10:04,585 and I have big, beautiful breasts. 153 00:10:05,654 --> 00:10:08,121 I dream about that, too. 154 00:10:15,129 --> 00:10:18,237 What's the big deal about Tarzan? 155 00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:24,109 Well, Tarzan's very strong but sensitive. 156 00:10:24,139 --> 00:10:28,648 Takes me in his arms, pulls me up to this big, huge, muscular chest. 157 00:10:28,678 --> 00:10:32,785 I can hear his heart beating. My heart beats faster. 158 00:10:32,815 --> 00:10:35,321 I close my eyes, he starts kissing my neck... 159 00:10:35,351 --> 00:10:37,890 - Jill... - Then he starts kissing... 160 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,920 Got a minute? 161 00:10:41,022 --> 00:10:43,529 Sorry. 162 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,626 God, is it hot in here? 163 00:10:50,599 --> 00:10:54,006 You told Al and Ilene seven, right? It's ten after. They're still not here. 164 00:10:54,036 --> 00:10:57,076 Ilene probably wanted to get in a nap, 165 00:10:57,106 --> 00:10:59,473 have one more dream about me before tonight. 166 00:11:01,710 --> 00:11:06,452 Stop it right there! No jokes about Ilene's dream tonight. 167 00:11:06,482 --> 00:11:08,654 The last thing in the world I wanna talk about tonight 168 00:11:08,684 --> 00:11:12,324 is me on a golden stallion, 169 00:11:12,354 --> 00:11:14,760 dressed in bicycle shorts so tight, 170 00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:18,698 no woman could resist me. 171 00:11:18,728 --> 00:11:21,200 This is not something that you should joke about. 172 00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:23,202 You saying I can't be myself in my own home? 173 00:11:23,232 --> 00:11:25,933 Yes, exactly. Be somebody else. Anybody else. 174 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:30,776 I certainly hope Ilene can control herself. 175 00:11:30,806 --> 00:11:34,480 You know how sexy my deep voice is to her. 176 00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:37,016 Then do us all a favor and shut up. 177 00:11:37,046 --> 00:11:39,385 - Hi! Come on in. - Hi. 178 00:11:39,415 --> 00:11:42,388 - It's great of you to have us over. - It's nice to have you. 179 00:11:42,418 --> 00:11:44,456 I brought a very lovely tart. 180 00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:48,594 Al, that's no way to talk about Ilene. 181 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,195 I was talking about... 182 00:11:50,225 --> 00:11:52,632 Honey, he was kidding. 183 00:11:52,662 --> 00:11:55,434 - You have a delightful sense of humor. - Thanks. I try. 184 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:58,571 Well, I have a delightful sense of humor, too. 185 00:11:58,601 --> 00:12:00,540 A lot of people find me hilarious. 186 00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:04,710 Of course you are. It's just that your humor is more... subtle. 187 00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:07,207 Yeah. Sometimes Al doesn't even get it. 188 00:12:08,977 --> 00:12:10,950 - You guys want some wine? - I'd love some. 189 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,952 I could be persuaded to partake. 190 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,888 Would you like to sit down? Could you take the cheese with you when you go? 191 00:12:15,918 --> 00:12:17,156 Great. 192 00:12:17,186 --> 00:12:20,760 I love a good cheese ball. 193 00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:22,828 So, Ilene, how was work today? 194 00:12:22,858 --> 00:12:25,965 Actually, I had a pretty tough day today. 195 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,034 Well, you know what they say about the dental world - 196 00:12:28,064 --> 00:12:30,330 "It's like pulling teeth." 197 00:12:32,266 --> 00:12:34,234 It's pulling teeth. 198 00:12:36,437 --> 00:12:39,411 Actually, most orthodontists don't pull teeth. 199 00:12:39,441 --> 00:12:43,415 - Well, I know that. I was making a joke. - Oh. 200 00:12:43,445 --> 00:12:44,850 And a good one. 201 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:48,054 Just a lot more subtle than one I would have picked. 202 00:12:48,084 --> 00:12:49,188 Cheers! 203 00:12:49,218 --> 00:12:50,790 - Cheers! - Cheers! 204 00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:53,125 I'm trying a new recipe. I hope you all like it. 205 00:12:53,155 --> 00:12:56,456 Oh, I'm sure it'll be great. I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse. 206 00:13:06,501 --> 00:13:07,534 You're in luck. 207 00:13:10,672 --> 00:13:12,606 - Jill cooked stallion. - Tim. 208 00:13:14,943 --> 00:13:16,949 Did I say "stallion"? I meant "scallion." 209 00:13:16,979 --> 00:13:20,413 Big golden scallion. 210 00:13:23,818 --> 00:13:25,224 Tim, would you just...? 211 00:13:25,254 --> 00:13:26,859 I'm talking about scallions. 212 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,794 I know what you're talking about. 213 00:13:28,824 --> 00:13:32,760 Well, it's not like I said she's cooking bicycle shorts. 214 00:13:35,797 --> 00:13:39,138 Wait a minute. Bicycle shorts? 215 00:13:39,168 --> 00:13:41,674 Al, did you tell him about my dream? 216 00:13:41,704 --> 00:13:45,778 Well, no. I... Yes. 217 00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:49,515 - I told you that in confidence. - And I told you that in confidence. 218 00:13:49,545 --> 00:13:51,717 And I told you not to bring up Ilene's dream! 219 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,886 - Tim told you? - You told Jill? 220 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,155 - He shouldn't have. - Al, this is all your fault. 221 00:13:56,185 --> 00:13:58,758 - It's Tim's fault. - It's not. She had the dream. 222 00:13:58,788 --> 00:14:00,760 Would you please shut up? 223 00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:02,828 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What are we talking about? 224 00:14:02,858 --> 00:14:05,131 It's out. Now we can laugh about it, huh? 225 00:14:05,161 --> 00:14:07,166 I have never been so embarrassed. 226 00:14:07,196 --> 00:14:09,468 Tim, I... Ilene! 227 00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:13,806 Guys, guys, come on. What's the big deal? It's just a silly dream. 228 00:14:13,836 --> 00:14:16,142 Jill dreams about being naked, running around with Tarzan. 229 00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:17,172 Tim! 230 00:14:20,608 --> 00:14:25,651 How can I confide in you again? I tell you something in private and now the world knows. 231 00:14:25,681 --> 00:14:28,387 - It's not like the world knows. - I'm really sorry, Jill. 232 00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:30,417 I'm sorry, too. I... 233 00:14:33,487 --> 00:14:36,556 - Ilene, come on. - What? 234 00:14:40,095 --> 00:14:42,068 You gotta like guests like that 235 00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,397 that don't overstay their welcome. 236 00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:52,044 I thought you and I were... 237 00:14:52,074 --> 00:14:55,081 - tell Tim about me. - Get away from that window! 238 00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:57,316 They're really going at it out there. 239 00:14:57,346 --> 00:14:59,318 Tim, I hope you're happy now. 240 00:14:59,348 --> 00:15:01,553 Do you ever stop and think before you make stupid jokes? 241 00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:03,555 I couldn't help it. She said "horse." 242 00:15:03,585 --> 00:15:05,557 The only thing you could come up with is, 243 00:15:05,587 --> 00:15:09,261 "At least she's not cooking bicycle shorts"? 244 00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:11,897 You are supposed to be Al's friend. 245 00:15:11,927 --> 00:15:13,165 I am Al's friend. 246 00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:15,167 He was really upset about this, 247 00:15:15,197 --> 00:15:17,169 and I was trying to help him get over it. 248 00:15:17,199 --> 00:15:20,539 - By embarrassing him. - No, no, no, no, by making him laugh. 249 00:15:20,569 --> 00:15:23,275 I thought if he laughed, he'd realize this is just a silly dream. 250 00:15:23,305 --> 00:15:26,612 How do you think Al's feeling now? How do you think Ilene is feeling? 251 00:15:26,642 --> 00:15:28,948 You told them about my Tarzan dream! 252 00:15:28,978 --> 00:15:30,778 Well, how do you think I'm feeling? 253 00:15:34,849 --> 00:15:37,723 What do you have to feel bad about? 254 00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:39,992 I don't know. Give me a minute. 255 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,128 Jill, it's gonna be OK. 256 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,396 They're a couple, they had a little tiff. 257 00:15:44,426 --> 00:15:47,133 They'll get over it. Every relationship goes through stuff like this. 258 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:50,002 In the long run, Al's gonna thank me for this. 259 00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:53,538 - Well, thank you, Tim. - There you go. 260 00:15:53,568 --> 00:15:56,942 Ilene broke up with me, she took my car and never wants to see me again. 261 00:15:56,972 --> 00:16:00,512 - Al, she's coming back. - How would you know? 262 00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:03,043 Well, if she doesn't, it's grand theft auto. 263 00:16:14,655 --> 00:16:17,930 Practicing for the ballet, Wilson? 264 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,801 No, Tim. I'm just reacquainting myself with t'ai chi, 265 00:16:21,831 --> 00:16:25,737 an ancient form of Chinese exercise. 266 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:28,373 It balances the female and the male, 267 00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:30,637 the yin and the yang. 268 00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:36,009 From over here, the yin thinks the yang is a "yidiot." 269 00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:40,752 Troubles, neighbor Tim? 270 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:42,421 I don't know... Troubles. 271 00:16:42,451 --> 00:16:45,390 Al's girlfriend Ilene had a dream about me, 272 00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:48,928 so I made a joke about it, and she got upset and broke up with Al. 273 00:16:48,958 --> 00:16:50,930 Jill thinks it's all my fault. 274 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,266 Tim, humor can be a wonderful thing. 275 00:16:54,296 --> 00:16:58,804 The Koran says, "He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh." 276 00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:03,237 Yeah... Those Koreans know what's funny. 277 00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:10,983 On the other hand, Tim, 278 00:17:11,013 --> 00:17:14,186 Cervantes, the 16th-century novelist, said... 279 00:17:14,216 --> 00:17:18,023 "A jest that gives pain is no jest." 280 00:17:18,053 --> 00:17:20,525 In this case, you might have caused a little bit of pain. 281 00:17:20,555 --> 00:17:22,761 I certainly didn't mean to. 282 00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,965 Jokes are what I'm all about. That's why people like me. 283 00:17:25,995 --> 00:17:29,068 Well, maybe sometimes you go too far. 284 00:17:29,098 --> 00:17:31,703 I just didn't take the dream that seriously. 285 00:17:31,733 --> 00:17:36,141 Some people do. You know, dreams can have a deep and profound meaning. 286 00:17:36,171 --> 00:17:38,844 You know what the psychoanalyst Carl Jung said? 287 00:17:38,874 --> 00:17:42,348 Yin, yang, Jung? Where does it end, Wilson? 288 00:17:42,378 --> 00:17:46,185 Jung said dreams were merely symbols of something else. 289 00:17:46,215 --> 00:17:50,256 Plus, he recognized the significance of names and letters in dreams. 290 00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:52,624 In particular, first initials. 291 00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:56,128 Hmm. First initials, huh? 292 00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:59,731 Jill dreams about Tarzan and Jane. That's a "T" and a "J." 293 00:17:59,761 --> 00:18:01,833 - She's Jane, that's Jill. - Mm-hmm. 294 00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:05,537 "T" could be Tim. Tim and Jill. We're Tarzan and Jane? 295 00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,873 Very good, Tarzan. Jung would be impressed. 296 00:18:07,903 --> 00:18:09,536 Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. 297 00:18:12,140 --> 00:18:14,413 - Hi, Heidi. - Hi, Tim. 298 00:18:14,443 --> 00:18:17,182 Al, I called to see if you needed a ride, but you were gone. 299 00:18:17,212 --> 00:18:19,118 Heidi gave me a ride. 300 00:18:19,148 --> 00:18:21,453 So Ilene still has your car? 301 00:18:21,483 --> 00:18:23,956 Yes. 302 00:18:23,986 --> 00:18:25,791 Buddy, on the bright side, 303 00:18:25,821 --> 00:18:29,061 without a car, you get some exercise. Ride your bike to work. 304 00:18:29,091 --> 00:18:31,024 I'll loan you my bicycle shorts. 305 00:18:34,429 --> 00:18:37,303 Sorry, Tim, I'm not my usual jocular self. 306 00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:40,039 Well, the other night, 307 00:18:40,069 --> 00:18:42,574 I certainly didn't mean to upset you or Ilene. 308 00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:44,910 I shoot my mouth off, 309 00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:47,474 and you're just a big, bearded bull's-eye. 310 00:18:49,643 --> 00:18:52,117 Was that supposed to be an apology? 311 00:18:52,147 --> 00:18:53,752 Yeah. 312 00:18:53,782 --> 00:18:57,089 You see? Even in your apologies, you have to insult me. 313 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:00,426 I'm kidding. You want to rehearse for the show? 314 00:19:00,456 --> 00:19:03,562 You never want to rehearse. 315 00:19:03,592 --> 00:19:05,597 I thought it'd make you feel better. 316 00:19:05,627 --> 00:19:07,699 It's not gonna make me feel better. 317 00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,702 Al, I only make fun of people and joke around with people I like. 318 00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,804 You must like me an awful lot. 319 00:19:12,834 --> 00:19:15,975 I think of you like one of my brothers. 320 00:19:16,005 --> 00:19:18,810 - You do? - Yeah. I joked with them all the time. 321 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:22,442 That's why most of them won't speak to me to this day. 322 00:19:24,778 --> 00:19:26,785 So what you're saying is that 323 00:19:26,815 --> 00:19:30,722 when you make fun of my weight and my beard, it's because you like me? 324 00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:31,752 Yeah. 325 00:19:33,221 --> 00:19:36,523 How about when you tease me about wearing flannel? 326 00:19:38,526 --> 00:19:41,161 I do that because you look ridiculous. 327 00:19:46,934 --> 00:19:48,974 Well, I never told you this, Tim, 328 00:19:49,004 --> 00:19:52,872 but I think of you as a brother, too. 329 00:19:56,977 --> 00:19:59,346 - Ilene. - Of course you lean. You're lopsided. 330 00:20:03,617 --> 00:20:05,190 Down there. 331 00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:09,028 I just stopped by to give you your car. 332 00:20:09,058 --> 00:20:11,558 I got to go back to work. 333 00:20:13,194 --> 00:20:17,436 Ilene, I am so sorry that I told Tim about that dream. 334 00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,438 It's just that I was so upset. 335 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,807 I didn't feel like I was man enough for you. 336 00:20:22,837 --> 00:20:25,772 You really felt that way? 337 00:20:27,075 --> 00:20:29,348 Yes. 338 00:20:29,378 --> 00:20:34,714 Oh, Al, you are the manliest man I've ever met. 339 00:20:36,817 --> 00:20:40,592 Well, then why were you dreaming about Tim? 340 00:20:40,622 --> 00:20:44,530 Oh, could I take a crack at that one? 341 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,733 There's this Korean philosopher, Yin Yang Jung, 342 00:20:48,763 --> 00:20:51,736 and he talks about dreams, and dreams are a lot about initials. 343 00:20:51,766 --> 00:20:54,173 She's dreaming about Tim Taylor, it's "TT." 344 00:20:54,203 --> 00:20:57,076 It could have been "tub of tomatoes," "Tony the Tiger..." 345 00:20:57,106 --> 00:21:00,179 Oh, "Tater Tot." Tater Tot, that's it. Tater Tot. 346 00:21:00,209 --> 00:21:03,610 You put a flannel shirt on a Tater Tot, you got you. 347 00:21:05,213 --> 00:21:06,818 - Thanks, Tim. - Mm-hmm. 348 00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:08,887 You've been a big help. 349 00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:11,123 I'm good with dreams. 350 00:21:11,153 --> 00:21:15,594 Oh, Al, it was just a silly dream. 351 00:21:15,624 --> 00:21:20,632 When I'm awake, all I dream about is you. 352 00:21:20,662 --> 00:21:23,835 Well, all I dream about is you. 353 00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:26,366 - Really? - Yes. 354 00:21:41,015 --> 00:21:46,458 You know, I'm thinking "TT" could be "Tool Time." 355 00:21:46,488 --> 00:21:48,921 It could be... ooh-how! 356 00:21:50,724 --> 00:21:52,325 Ta-ta! 357 00:22:05,673 --> 00:22:07,006 Tim! 358 00:22:08,609 --> 00:22:10,815 Wow! 359 00:22:10,845 --> 00:22:13,118 Roses, champagne. 360 00:22:13,148 --> 00:22:17,623 Oh! You even put the little butter knives on. 361 00:22:17,653 --> 00:22:19,424 Tim? 362 00:22:19,454 --> 00:22:20,787 Where are you? 363 00:22:23,524 --> 00:22:24,757 Tim? 364 00:22:35,969 --> 00:22:36,969 Tim? 365 00:22:50,384 --> 00:22:52,991 It's 15 degrees out there. 366 00:22:53,021 --> 00:22:55,088 You Jane, me frozen. 367 00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:02,262 - Somebody get Macy's on the phone. - Hey, hey, hey! 368 00:23:14,775 --> 00:23:16,710 He looks like a blowfish! 369 00:23:19,046 --> 00:23:20,819 This little piggy went to market. 370 00:23:20,849 --> 00:23:22,782 This little piggy went home. 371 00:23:25,085 --> 00:23:28,020 Shouldn't have had that last burrito, huh? 371 00:23:29,305 --> 00:23:35,548 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.SubtitleDB.org 29359

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.