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1
00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:02,736
When hanging a light fixture
or heavy mirror,
2
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,805
what's the first thing
we need to do, Al?
3
00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,139
Find a stud, Tim.
4
00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:10,377
And l think we've come
to the right place, haven't we?
5
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,613
Al, do you recognize this?
6
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,981
Your razor, Tim?
7
00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:17,651
No, actually, it's your razor, Al.
l picked it up backstage.
8
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:22,856
An electric razor can double as
a stud finder.
9
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:28,128
No stud there.
10
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,564
Actually, Al's electric razor
can be a stud finder.
11
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:36,036
lf you listen, the sound of it changes
the closer it gets to a stud.
12
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,610
My mother gave me that razor, Tim.
13
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:47,047
Why? Did she go back to blades?
14
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:50,951
This razor can not only
keep Al's mother whisker-free,
15
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,053
it's a handy way
to find studs around the house.
16
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,889
Well, Tim, l also have
a helpful household hint.
17
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:59,860
l'm going to show the audience something
you don't ordinarily do with a potato.
18
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,428
You might wanna keep the kids
away from the TV set.
19
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,163
Tim.
20
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,968
Here's a safe way
to take a broken bulb from its socket.
21
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:11,972
You simply take a cut potato,
jam it into the socket, twist...
22
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,141
And in minutes
you have thousands of curly fries.
23
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:17,711
- A wonderful snack for TV time...
- Tim. Tim. Tim!
24
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:23,383
l doubted the razor, but l gave it a chance.
Please do not mock my potato.
25
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:26,353
You say, "potato," l say, "stupid."
26
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:28,455
Tim, this'll work.
27
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:32,459
You twist, and pull the broken bulb right
out of the socket. But first, you must...
28
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,062
Jam it in the light.
29
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:43,637
...unplug the lamp.
30
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:51,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
31
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,308
Well, what do you think?
Can we put the kids in the middle?
32
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:02,950
Well, congratulations. You're now the
Ping-Pong champion in the Taylor house.
33
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,052
- You let me win.
- l didn't let you win.
34
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,554
You got that delicate high slow lob.
35
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:11,024
l lose concentration
before it hits the table. lt's brilliant.
36
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:14,862
- Where are all the mugs?
- ln the sink with the dirty dishes.
37
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,164
Shucks. l want a cup of coffee.
38
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,700
Why don't you just wash one?
39
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:25,105
Mark, a man never loads a dishwasher
till the sink is completely filled.
40
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:28,542
And besides, l just want some coffee, and
all l need there is something with a handle.
41
00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:32,045
And l think
the moo-cow creamer's gonna work.
42
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,453
That's good. That's good.
43
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,822
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, honey.
44
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:45,225
Great news. Mr. Preston -
you know, the features editor -
45
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:48,028
loved the research that l did
on the weekend-getaway story.
46
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,163
That's great.
47
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,366
He's gonna let me
research next month's cover story.
48
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:55,569
l get to work for a whole nother week.
l am so excited.
49
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,839
That's great. The cover? You've been
working a month, you're doing the cover?
50
00:03:58,906 --> 00:03:59,940
- Yes.
- What you gonna do?
51
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:03,010
Tiger Stadium moving?
The new riverfront project?
52
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,745
Compost.
53
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:08,849
You're not bringing
your work home, are you?
54
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:12,052
No, it's industrial compost.
Hi, sweetie.
55
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:15,155
Could be the answer
to the big garbage problem.
56
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,858
Did you not notice
the dirty dishes in the sink?
57
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,828
- l didn't even notice those there.
- But, Dad, you said...
58
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,530
- Eat a grape.
- l'm going downstairs.
59
00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:27,434
What are you doing?
60
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,977
Enjoying a cup of coffee.
61
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:40,781
You're sucking coffee out of a cow.
62
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:44,551
That way l don't have to add milk.
63
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,553
You're so pathetic.
64
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:50,424
Listen, listen, l gotta get this compost
research story done by Friday,
65
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:54,361
so l'm gonna need all the help l can get.
You need to run this house.
66
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,400
Not a problem.
67
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:04,671
l would feel a lot better if you would say,
"l'll do the best l can."
68
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,874
You want me to say
l'll do the best l can?
69
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,209
Not a problem.
70
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:12,646
This is a list of all the things
that you have to do tomorrow, see?
71
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:15,015
Now, this is the dry-cleaning slip,
you gotta pick that up.
72
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:17,751
Then you go to the grocery store.
Here's the list for that.
73
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,786
Then you gotta make the boys' lunches.
74
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:23,257
Can you put in some celery sticks,
or carrot sticks?
75
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,659
Jill, they don't eat that stuff.
76
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:29,496
They just turn into
vegetable missiles in a food fight.
77
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,765
Honey, l'll be able to relax
and work a lot better
78
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:35,869
if l know that you're back here,
doing everything the right way.
79
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,437
You mean your way?
80
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,007
That's what l said - the right way.
81
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:42,843
Mom, we need our pants
for football practice.
82
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:45,779
Oh, no. l meant
to wash those this morning.
83
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,548
That's OK, l'll take care of it.
l'm running things now.
84
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:50,117
- Guys, let's go wash those pants.
- Uh, Tim, you know,
85
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:52,719
this is really a complicated deal here.
86
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:55,522
There's two loads, you know.
There's the dark load,
87
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:58,525
that needs cold water
and this darker-blue bleach,
88
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,961
and the white load
needs hot water and the white bleach.
89
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,397
And you can't forget
to add the fabric softener.
90
00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:07,034
- What time is practice?
- 1 5 minutes.
91
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,472
- That load's done.
- Thanks, Dad.
92
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,541
Thanks, Dad.
93
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,414
Tim, where are the boys' lunches?
94
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,318
l only have two hands, OK? l'll load the
dishwasher, then l'll make their lunches.
95
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,621
No, no, no. Honey, you have to make
the lunches and then load the dishwasher.
96
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,690
What is the difference?
97
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:31,959
- There's the bus.
- That's the difference.
98
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,561
- Oh, no.
- Now they don't have any lunch.
99
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,164
Hold on, guys, l got this covered.
100
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:40,534
- l'm buying lunch today. Here's two bucks.
- Buy something nutritious.
101
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,203
- Yeah, right.
- Yeah.
102
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:46,473
Go get some carrots
out of that vending machine they have.
103
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:49,776
Dad, can l have two dollars for Mark?
He's outside, waiting for us.
104
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,880
- Make sure he gets it.
- He will.
105
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:57,518
Well, at least Mark
won't spend the money on junk food.
106
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,420
Dad, can l have a peanut butter sandwich
for my lunch today?
107
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,356
What are you doing here? l just gave
your brothers your lunch money.
108
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,892
Well, at least
they didn't beat him up for it.
109
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:08,462
- You're gonna miss the bus.
- lt's OK, honey. Don't worry about it.
110
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:12,399
l will just give you a ride to school
on my way to the compost heap.
111
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:14,801
Try not to confuse those two, hon.
112
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,771
Are we gonna make
the gingerbread house tonight?
113
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:21,275
Oh, right. The PTA bake sale.
114
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:27,080
Um, honey, l think we may have
to buy that at the bakery this year.
115
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,815
You said you were
gonna make one with me.
116
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:32,786
l know l did. l'm really sorry.
lt's just that l'm so busy this week.
117
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:36,156
- Hey. l'll make you a gingerbread house.
- Really?
118
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,292
Yeah. And not just
some dinky little house.
119
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:43,397
We'll get a gingerbread
full-service truck-and-auto service centre.
120
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,200
- Wow!
- Darn right, wow. Oh, yeah!
121
00:07:47,201 --> 00:07:49,903
Go get your coat.
122
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,539
Tim, honey, don't use
the blue sponge on the counter.
123
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:53,607
Huh?
124
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,242
The blue sponge is for the dishes.
125
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:59,079
- The green sponge is for the counter.
- What's the difference?
126
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:02,316
Well, you're not supposed to use the same
sponge on the counter as the dishes.
127
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:05,786
- So, the blue sponge is just for the sink.
- No, not always.
128
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:10,123
When the blue sponge gets dirty, it gets
demoted from the dishes to the counter.
129
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,926
The green sponge gets demoted
from the counter to the floor.
130
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,797
Then l pull a new one out from here.
lt might be blue, it might be yellow.
131
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,537
Tim, are you gonna
be able to handle all the...
132
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,172
- l'll be able to handle it.
- lf you can't, l could just...
133
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:28,175
Look, let me do this my way, OK?
134
00:08:28,242 --> 00:08:33,180
You know, Jill, l think it's just about time
you saw how effective my way can be.
135
00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:35,415
Mark, shall we show her
what's in the garage?
136
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,518
- Why?
- Dad fixed the washer.
137
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:39,620
Oh, no.
138
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:47,094
What did you do to my washing machine?
139
00:08:47,161 --> 00:08:49,863
Why is it on life support?
140
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:54,334
- l improved it.
- Unimprove it.
141
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,370
- Come on, honey.
- lt has lights?
142
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,839
Just for effect, OK?
143
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:04,077
l have revolutionized the laundry-care
system. Now, stay with me on this, OK?
144
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,747
You're watching TV,
watching a little football game out there...
145
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,448
- l don't like football.
- All right, all right.
146
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:14,288
You're watching the... opera, and it's 30
to go, all right? You hear the buzzer. Beep!
147
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:17,558
Time to add the fabric softener.
You go, "Oh." You don't wanna leave.
148
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:21,228
You'll miss that fat broad with the horns
and the high notes, spiking the ball, right?
149
00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,597
You see what l've got here?
Bleach, detergent, fabric softener.
150
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:27,067
On timers and tubes.
This adds it by itself, on a time cycle.
151
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:29,503
lt's about ready to go, right about...
152
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:45,586
l can't believe it.
lt worked. lt actually worked.
153
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,755
As you see, honey,
l've got things under control.
154
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,191
- So have a nice day.
- lt actually worked!
155
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,260
Have a nice day, honey.
156
00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:57,498
And don't sound so shocked.
Mark, Mark!
157
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,967
This morning l improved the washer,
158
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:02,970
this afternoon, l improve the dryer.
159
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,873
- How?
- Oh-ho-ho-ho...
160
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:11,979
See this? Binford's 20-amp
high-density electric motor.
161
00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:17,651
Once l attach that to the dryer,
it'll spin so fast...
162
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:23,257
You know those cowboys on your p.j.'s?
They'll be throwing up in their saddlebags.
163
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:34,334
l just think
that we have done sheet rock to death.
164
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,503
"Sheet rock to death."
165
00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:40,240
Doesn't sound like you talking, Al.
That sounds like Maureen Binford.
166
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:44,778
Well, she is the producer. And l don't think
she wants to do a show on sheet rock.
167
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:48,081
l don't give a sheet rock
what she wants to do. lt's my...
168
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,084
People, people. Let's gather.
169
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,887
Maureen, there's only two of us out here.
l think we're gathered.
170
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,856
Good. OK...
171
00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:58,192
Let's confab about tomorrow's show.
172
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,761
All set. Tomorrow we're gonna do
sheet rock installation.
173
00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:03,697
Oh, Tim.
We've done sheet rock to death.
174
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:07,467
- l was just telling Tim that...
- Shut up, Al.
175
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:09,837
What do you want? To electrocute me
in a lamp again with a potato?
176
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,872
No, silly. We already did that.
177
00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:15,642
But l do think we should devote the show
to more clever household hints.
178
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:17,778
l'm thinking...
179
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,848
"The Bachelor Corner, with Al."
180
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,316
Al?
181
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:24,318
Yeah, you know...
182
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,587
How to get spots out with club soda...
183
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:29,289
Oh, yeah. Or using vinegar
and water to clean windows.
184
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,326
That's a good one, yes.
Or how to iron with wax paper.
185
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,961
Maureen.
186
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:37,030
This is a man's show.
We give man advice.
187
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:40,467
How to pull a nail out of your foot.
188
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:43,670
What to do with a severed finger.
189
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,839
Men don't wanna know about ironing.
190
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:48,108
Well, Tim, a lot of men are single.
191
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:51,612
Yes, they are. And wax paper
between the folds when you're ironing
192
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:54,448
really does give you a nice pleat.
193
00:11:56,316 --> 00:12:00,420
Thank you, Al. l'll remember that
next time we do cross-dressing day.
194
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:05,392
OK, well, l get the feeling we're simpatico.
Yes, no, maybe?
195
00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:07,661
We'll do the sheet rock installation.
196
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:10,797
No, we won't, Tim. Need l remind you?
197
00:12:11,265 --> 00:12:13,267
Producer!
198
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,869
Annoying!
199
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,640
- He is such a card.
- Yes, he is.
200
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:22,342
And he needs to be dealt with.
201
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:28,715
Are you two through?
202
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:32,352
Ooh, l almost forgot. Jill called.
She needs you to pick up Randy.
203
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,355
She said something about
being up to her ears in compost. Toodles.
204
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:38,292
Oh! l never see that.
205
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:44,731
Now l gotta pick up Randy.
Jill was supposed to pick up Randy.
206
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:48,569
l'm doing a lot more than my share
around the house these days.
207
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:50,270
Well, Tim...
208
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:53,507
marriage is all about compromise.
209
00:12:53,574 --> 00:12:57,845
Give and take.
Understanding each other and sharing.
210
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,980
That was beautiful, Al.
211
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:02,983
Wanna hold hands and sing "Feelings"?
212
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:08,055
l was just... l was just trying to help.
213
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:12,226
l don't need help on my marriage
from a guy who hasn't been married.
214
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,495
You think l don't know
what it feels like to be married to you?
215
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,533
Sharing a workbench
for three long years,
216
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:23,337
and never having you once
put the cap back on the epoxy.
217
00:13:24,438 --> 00:13:25,706
And don't think that
l haven't noticed
218
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:29,309
that you squeeze the tube
from the middle instead of the end.
219
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:35,315
These are just some of the things
l have to take home with me every night.
220
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,417
l don't think we should call your segment
"Bachelor Corner."
221
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:41,155
We should call it
"The Alone and Desperate Corner."
222
00:13:43,624 --> 00:13:48,929
- l really appreciate this, Wilson.
- My pleasure, good neighbor.
223
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:52,699
Always happy to help out
with a molasses emergency.
224
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:55,669
Jill's working some extra hours,
l didn't have a chance to get to the store.
225
00:13:55,736 --> 00:13:58,305
So you're running the house tonight, huh?
226
00:13:58,372 --> 00:14:00,207
l'm trying to,
but she's not making it any easier.
227
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:07,181
She just can't stand to let me do things
the way l want to do them, all right?
228
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:10,884
Because she just won't deal with the fact
that my ways may be different,
229
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,586
but they get the job done.
230
00:14:12,653 --> 00:14:17,157
Well, Tim, sometimes it's hard
for people to accept new ideas.
231
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,859
Well, not me. Thank you.
232
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:22,462
Well, you're a very special man,
quite like Galileo.
233
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,432
Yeah. Had his wine.
234
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:27,968
No, no, no, Tim.
235
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:31,371
l'm talking about
the 17th-century ltalian astronomer.
236
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:35,809
He was ridiculed for teaching
that the earth revolves around the sun.
237
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,712
And he believed that?
238
00:14:38,779 --> 00:14:42,015
Tim, the earth
does revolve around the sun.
239
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:47,688
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, yeah, it does.
lt's just we're spinning so we don't notice it.
240
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:50,057
- There you go, good neighbor.
- What happened to him?
241
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:54,561
Well, he was threatened with torture
and forced to confess that he was wrong.
242
00:14:54,628 --> 00:14:56,630
That's what Jill would like to do to me.
243
00:14:56,697 --> 00:14:59,032
But l'm not confessing anything
'cause l'm not doing anything wrong.
244
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:01,235
- Tim, that's not the point of the story.
- l don't care.
245
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,470
l'm gonna keep doing things my way
because we're getting things done.
246
00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:05,606
- Thanks a lot, Wilson.
- Tim.
247
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,174
Tim?
248
00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:09,776
Can we talk about compromise?
249
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,081
What is the paint pan for?
250
00:15:14,148 --> 00:15:17,951
Well, l wanna make sure that the walls
of the truck-and-auto service centre
251
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,687
are big enough to handle the big rigs.
252
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:25,125
- Mom never uses paint pans.
- Do l look like Mom?
253
00:15:25,559 --> 00:15:27,027
On occasion.
254
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,232
- ls the paint pan clean?
- Course it's clean.
255
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:35,302
l scrubbed it out with turpentine.
256
00:15:36,537 --> 00:15:41,375
- Dad, that's never gonna fit in the oven.
- lt'll fit right in the oven. l already...
257
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,945
Just tip it a little bit
and it goes right in there.
258
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:48,348
Mom's gonna freak
when she sees the mess you're making.
259
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:51,718
Don't worry about it.
This is a self-cleaning oven.
260
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,854
Dad, these walls won't stay up.
261
00:15:53,921 --> 00:15:56,190
Would you guys cowork with me on this?
262
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:59,827
That's why l got
the caulking compound over here.
263
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:02,162
You can't use caulk,
you have to be able to eat it.
264
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:04,865
So? We don't have to worry about that.
We're just selling it.
265
00:16:04,932 --> 00:16:06,967
Somebody else is eating it.
266
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:14,408
Maybe caulk would be a last resort.
Let's try to make the icing work.
267
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:18,645
Go out to the garage.
Get me some "C" clamps and duct tape.
268
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,148
You wrecked it. You wrecked it!
269
00:16:21,215 --> 00:16:22,983
That's what you get
fiddling around with the thing now.
270
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:25,419
- lt was an accident.
- You did it on purpose.
271
00:16:25,486 --> 00:16:28,288
- Get off me, you little flea.
- Come on, get up. Let him up.
272
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,624
Dad, l can't find the "C" clamps.
273
00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:32,793
Whoa, something's burning.
274
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,065
Get off me!
275
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:40,634
- Are you OK?
- Yeah. "C" clamps...
276
00:16:40,701 --> 00:16:43,837
- Help!
- What's going on in here?
277
00:16:43,904 --> 00:16:46,974
- Hey, hey, hey! Get off of him right now.
- He started it.
278
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,775
- He wrecked my gingerbread house.
- Did not.
279
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,844
- Boys, just go upstairs.
- Come on, Mom.
280
00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:52,312
Now!
281
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:54,715
Boy, you're home early.
282
00:16:56,817 --> 00:16:59,786
- What is happening here?
- Oh, l spilled a little batter.
283
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,722
The oven was too hot,
l think, when l put it in there.
284
00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:03,624
- You used a paint pan?
- Yeah.
285
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,692
Trying to make those walls
big enough for the big rig to get in.
286
00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:06,827
Don't explain. Don't explain.
287
00:17:06,894 --> 00:17:09,796
We'll just scrape it out.
Maybe we can save some of the batter.
288
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,765
- Good, that's it, we'll save...
- Where's my old spatula?
289
00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:14,401
- lt's right over here.
- lt doesn't go over here, it goes over here.
290
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:16,370
Well, not when l'm doing the cooking.
That's where it goes.
291
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:19,006
When you're home doing the cooking
you put it where you want it.
292
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:21,742
When l'm home?
293
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:24,278
- ls that what all this is about?
- What?
294
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:27,080
So finally it comes out.
295
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:30,250
- You don't want me to work.
- Because l moved the spatula?
296
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:35,589
- You resent the fact that l am working.
- l do not.
297
00:17:35,656 --> 00:17:38,158
Then why don't you do one thing
the way that l ask you to do it?
298
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:42,062
One?! l've done everything
on your stupid little list over here.
299
00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:44,998
You screwed up everything
on my stupid little list over there.
300
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:50,904
- l haven't screwed up everything.
- Name one thing you didn't screw up.
301
00:17:52,573 --> 00:17:54,508
Well?
302
00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:55,676
Laundry?
303
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,645
Dad! The dryer's going crazy!
304
00:17:58,712 --> 00:18:01,448
Hold on a minute, l'll handle this.
You just...
305
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:05,018
- Wow! This is great.
- Come on, get off of there, Randy.
306
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:08,355
- Get him off!
- Unplug it over there.
307
00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:10,491
- You do it.
- Honey, it's just 220.
308
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,626
Be careful. Aargh!
309
00:18:12,693 --> 00:18:14,895
Here, just stop the thing.
310
00:18:14,962 --> 00:18:16,563
- Stop it.
- All right. All right. l got it.
311
00:18:16,630 --> 00:18:19,099
- OK, look. l'll get this rubber glove.
- All right. All right.
312
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,034
- All right, l'm going...
- Please, honey...
313
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,303
- All right, all right.
- Honey, honey...
314
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,439
l got it!
315
00:18:28,909 --> 00:18:29,910
Cool!
316
00:18:29,977 --> 00:18:33,480
l have friends
who'd pay good money to ride this.
317
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,282
- Out.
- Oh, man.
318
00:18:35,349 --> 00:18:38,585
Everybody gets
to make money except for me.
319
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,923
Look there, everything's all dry.
320
00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:48,228
Maybe this is just a sign
that l'm not supposed to be working.
321
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:51,231
- What do you mean by that?
- Well, we're fighting about spatulas,
322
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:53,901
you're riding the dryer...
323
00:18:54,902 --> 00:18:57,938
- l don't know that it's worth it.
- But you wanna work.
324
00:18:58,005 --> 00:19:01,408
Yeah, l wanna work, Tim.
But l also don't want the house to fall apart.
325
00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:03,243
l see.
326
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:08,048
lt's always like that.
l ride one appliance in the garage,
327
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:12,419
and you get all bent out of shape.
328
00:19:12,486 --> 00:19:16,623
The house isn't gonna fall apart
if you're not here and l'm here.
329
00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:19,993
And, don't take this wrong,
but you don't have to work.
330
00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:22,763
l want to work. We got three kids
we gotta get through college.
331
00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:26,867
- Or a good trade school.
- l like working.
332
00:19:26,934 --> 00:19:31,371
You know, and l'm good at it. l think that
l could move up. l might even be an editor.
333
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:33,774
But the whole time that l'm working
l worry about what's going on at the house.
334
00:19:33,841 --> 00:19:36,844
And when l'm at the house, l worry about
work. l just wish there were two of me.
335
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:39,513
Can l sleep in the middle?
336
00:19:40,414 --> 00:19:44,351
Morning, Jill.
Hello there, Jill. Hey.
337
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:50,791
Fine. lf you don't wanna talk about it,
then l'm just gonna figure it out by myself.
338
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:53,327
And that, my dear, is the problem.
339
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:56,630
You wanna do everything by yourself.
There are two people.
340
00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:58,232
The other person here is me.
341
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:01,268
And you gotta learn how to let me
do some of the stuff the way l wanna do it.
342
00:20:01,335 --> 00:20:05,472
Like giving the boys lunch money?
Burning down the kitchen?
343
00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:09,209
- Riding the thing around the garage?
- Hold on. Back the truck up.
344
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:11,245
Some of the things
went well today, you know.
345
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:15,249
Tim, look around you.
You practically wrecked the house.
346
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:19,953
l'll have you know l wrecked this house
long before you ever got a job.
347
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:22,556
And l'll be wrecking this house
long after you got a job.
348
00:20:22,623 --> 00:20:26,426
And the kids were dressed,
they had their breakfast, they got to school,
349
00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:28,729
they had their lunch
and they came home and they were safe.
350
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,864
So maybe my way
wasn't that dangerous after all,
351
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:34,535
and some of the things
did work, didn't they?
352
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:38,071
- Well, that washing machine...
- What about the washing machine?
353
00:20:38,138 --> 00:20:42,009
- That was pretty cool.
- You liked that, huh?
354
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:45,145
Yeah.
355
00:20:48,382 --> 00:20:51,318
So, if this is gonna work,
356
00:20:51,385 --> 00:20:54,154
then l'm gonna have to
let go of some things.
357
00:20:54,221 --> 00:20:58,225
And make sure
that the smoke detector is working.
358
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,930
- We gotta put a battery in that thing.
- l think so.
359
00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:07,734
And if you're gonna come home early,
give me a phone call first.
360
00:21:07,801 --> 00:21:09,770
Yeah, right.
361
00:21:09,837 --> 00:21:13,140
All right, well, as long as we're both here
together, why don't you help me clean up?
362
00:21:13,207 --> 00:21:18,645
Honey, l think this is the first time
that l'm going to let go of something.
363
00:21:23,817 --> 00:21:26,019
That icing is really bad.
364
00:21:26,086 --> 00:21:28,822
- That's 'cause it's not icing.
- Huh?
365
00:21:28,889 --> 00:21:32,559
lt's polyvinyl acetate caulking compound.
366
00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:38,131
You just weatherproofed
your tongue, honey.
367
00:21:43,537 --> 00:21:45,606
l'll sue!
368
00:21:47,174 --> 00:21:49,510
(makes engine sounds)
369
00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:52,412
No, no, no, no, no, no.
We got a piece of artwork here.
370
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:53,680
lt's crooked.
371
00:21:53,747 --> 00:21:55,816
l designed it this way.
372
00:21:55,883 --> 00:22:01,155
This is a gingerbread truck-and-auto
service centre, after a major earthquake.
373
00:22:01,221 --> 00:22:03,991
Do you actually think
anybody's gonna buy this?
374
00:22:04,057 --> 00:22:06,527
Yes, l actually think
somebody's going to buy this.
375
00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:09,563
Tim, you can't charge $1 56.
376
00:22:09,630 --> 00:22:12,166
Why? That's what it cost.
377
00:22:12,666 --> 00:22:15,469
Boys, put on your coats
and mittens and stuff.
378
00:22:15,536 --> 00:22:17,471
Mark, are you ready?
379
00:22:17,538 --> 00:22:20,140
Has anybody seen
my good blue sweater?
380
00:22:20,207 --> 00:22:22,342
l did, it's in the...
381
00:22:22,409 --> 00:22:24,711
- What?
- l don't know.
382
00:22:24,778 --> 00:22:27,414
- Brad?
- Gee, l don't know.
383
00:22:27,481 --> 00:22:28,682
l'm ready.
384
00:22:28,749 --> 00:22:30,617
Mark, have you seen
my good blue sweater?
385
00:22:30,684 --> 00:22:32,252
lt's in the dryer.
386
00:22:32,319 --> 00:22:34,421
Thanks, bigmouth.
387
00:22:36,890 --> 00:22:39,226
Honey, are you OK?
388
00:22:42,596 --> 00:22:44,932
What is this?
389
00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:53,073
Boys, put on your coats
and mittens and stuff.
390
00:22:53,140 --> 00:22:56,143
Randy? l mean...
What is your name?
391
00:22:59,012 --> 00:23:00,981
lt's Randy, Mom.
392
00:23:01,782 --> 00:23:05,652
Well, you are a very special man,
quite like Galileo.
393
00:23:05,719 --> 00:23:06,887
Yeah.
394
00:23:06,954 --> 00:23:09,823
l love his wine.
395
00:23:09,890 --> 00:23:11,191
No, no. No, Tim. No, no, no.
396
00:23:11,258 --> 00:23:15,462
No, l'm talking about
the 17th century ltalian astronomer.
397
00:23:15,529 --> 00:23:17,431
He was...
398
00:23:17,498 --> 00:23:19,900
a very fat man.
399
00:23:20,305 --> 00:23:26,410
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