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This really happened.
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Seriously... It really did!
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Chapter I
'Petrenko Pays the Price'
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Sit!
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So, what now?
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As they used to say, the war for you,
my friend, is over.
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Cigarette?
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No.
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There was Sander Lars Hansen,
and there was me. I'm Johnnie Allen.
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More about Sander later. I'm an American,
born in Tacoma, Washington, who just
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got a job with, get this,
the CIA. Yeah, that CIA.
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I've been posted to the tiny little kingdom
of Denmark and it's my first day here.
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I'm no stranger to small countries,
by the way.
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My idiot parents raised me from the time
I was a baby in a religious cult
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in a failed South American stronghold.
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I never saw the good ol' U-S-of-A until
I was 14. Talk about culture shock!
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Add to that my funny accent
from Curaçao, and you can imagine
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my high school social standing. Not fun!
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Not only do I work for the CIA,
but I'm gay.
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And they don't like it
when you're gay and work there.
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Which I never understood!
Because if you ever want to know
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everything about anything,
just ask your local gay guy.
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And if my bible-thumping mother
ever found out,
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she'd hate me
and just tell me to burn in hell.
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So, we'll keep that on the down-low.
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"Aalborg Intercity train
to Hamburg via Lembeck
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will depart in a few minutes."
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Chapter II
'Fish out of Water'
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Excuse me, but we're closed.
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Sorry?
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We're closed.
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Oh, you're closed?
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- Yeah, we're closed.
- Oh, sorry.
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Welcome!
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What can I help you with?
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I'm sorry, I don't speak Danish.
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English, of course. Welcome
to The Grand. How can I help you?
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I just need a room for one night.
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Just one single room for only you?
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That's right. Just me.
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Reservation?
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No...
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And your name, please?
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Johnnie Allen.
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Would you please spell it for me?
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Yeah. It's J-o-h-n-n-i-e. A-l-l-e-n.
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4 HOURS LATER
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Looks like I made it. I'm in Denmark.
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Walking the cobblestone streets
of this beautiful Danish town
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00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:09,919
led me through places that looked
like they were taken from Disney World.
51
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,879
It's weird to see a building that
was erected about the same time
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that the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth rock.
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It's even stranger to see a McDonald's
in a building that's older than that!
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The world turned out to be a little bigger
than I expected. And I felt lost.
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00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,040
I've never been as lonely, either.
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00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:38,279
I can count on one finger the times
I've had a one-night stand.
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00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:45,519
But I guess some things cross all language
barriers. And "gay need" spoke the loudest.
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Not my best moment.
Especially the morning after.
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Can I help you?
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Sorry, I don't actually speak
any Danish yet.
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Oh, that's not a problem.
Then we'll do some English.
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Please have a seat. So.
You need a flat, yes?
63
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,839
Yeah! Someone at the hotel
told me about you.
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Oh! It's my daughter's friend.
I knew you were coming!
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So, I handle a very nice place,
not far from here.
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00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:21,039
And the woman who runs the place
takes great care of everyone.
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One moment, please.
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Odense Realty, this is Mrs. Frandsen.
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00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,039
Yes, can you hold for a moment?
Thank you.
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00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,999
When you get to the place,
just ask for Emma.
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Emma?
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Yeah?
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00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,030
Sorry, do you speak English?
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No.
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Oh! Johnnie!
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Come with me!
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Hi, Emil!
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00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,919
I know who he is because
Maria's mom called me.
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I want to know when he wants to move in.
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Will you translate for me?
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Ah, hell...
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Uh... Emma said she knows who you are
because Maria's mom already called her.
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00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:16,319
She wanna know when you wants
to move in. Are you moving in?
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00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,159
Oh, yeah. I'm from America
and I'm going to school here...
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Don't they have schools in America?
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00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,759
Anyway. Would you let her know
that I would like to move in,
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and I would like to take the place
as soon as I can.
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Yeah.
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00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,040
Yes! Today!
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My new flat was not only furnished,
courtesy of Emma's basement,
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00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:52,359
but it came complete with friends my age
who didn't mind helping me move in.
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Even Emil, who was still nursing
a hangover, supervised from my couch.
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00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,960
And then there was Emma,
who was more grandmother than landlord.
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00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,399
I never imagined that my first place on my
own would be on the other side of the world.
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Or that where I would wind up would change
my life forever. The fact is, I was home.
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00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,920
Just a minute!
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00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:29,839
So, my new friends are inviting me
to a welcoming party: for me!
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Dang! I was totally floored!
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Since Saturday
was less than a week away,
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00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,589
and I didn't want to come
to the party empty-handed,
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it was time for a beer and soda run.
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00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:44,759
And my first experience with my new
neighbor, Bent Gundersen, manager
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of Boop's Boutique Supermarket.
I say "manager" but that's up for debate!
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Hey! Whoa! Johnnie Allen!
You must like beer!
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We have the A.A. over here too.
Just like in your States!
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Screw you, Bent!
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Is all for the party on Saturday?
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00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,199
Yeah. Thought I'd help.
At least with some of it.
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Oh!
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Never had a party thrown
for me before, you know?
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00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,359
No, no, no, no!
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We pay it, for your party!
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Uhm, what if I pay for it and you
just bring it? How about that?
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00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:28,679
Hmmm... yeah! Yo!
It's good. But... shhh... alright?
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00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:32,999
Of course. So, uhm, how much?
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Hmmm... Two-thousand kroner, please.
It's a Bent Gundersen discount.
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00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,100
Okay.
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00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,759
Isn't it kind of expensive for those beers?
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No, it's not.
120
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,279
That can't be the right price.
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Yeah! There's deposits.
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You sure?
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Yeah, it is.
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Bent Gundersen Discount. Yeah, right...
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OUT: -- CODENAME: RASCAL //
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00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:16,500
Requesting assignment info.
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IN: -- LANGLEY HUMRES:
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See Case Officer Copenhagen Station
RE duty roster. Earliest possible.
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00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,359
OUT: CODENAME: RASCAL //
Surface transport to CPH. Please direct.
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00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,370
IN: LANGLEY HUMRES:
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00:10:58,471 --> 00:11:03,059
Please proceed Station CPH.
Meet immediately with C.O. Stupelmann. OUT.
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John. Right?
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00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,780
It's Johnnie, actually, Ms. Stupelmann.
134
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:43,239
Johnnie. You can call me Marge.
We'll get along just famously, I'm sure.
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00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:44,250
Sounds good.
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00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:49,359
We have lots for you to do. But first,
I wanna know you a little bit better.
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00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,039
Yeah. Sure.
138
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You're queer.
139
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:57,000
I've never run a queer before.
Would that be a problem?
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00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:59,680
What?
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00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:06,780
Now you're deaf? Relax, already.
Why do you think we picked you?
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00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,719
We picked you because you're queer.
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00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,079
Can you stop that, please?!
144
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:13,080
What?
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00:12:13,081 --> 00:12:14,440
I hate that word!
146
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,439
What? Deaf?
147
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,100
No! Queer! I hate it!
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00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:24,719
Should I be all antiseptic?
And call you a "practicing homosexual?"
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00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:29,919
So, what, I'm fired now, right?! I'm 21.
I can be a queer if I want to be!
150
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,200
So, kill me! I'm just here to do the job!
151
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:41,120
That's the problem with our kind!
We're always so damned dramatic!
152
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,759
What? Wait...
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00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,239
You don't think I'd waste
all this classic charm and beauty
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on some guy who grunts and ickkk!
155
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,079
Wow! You're a trip, lady!
156
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,759
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's "official."
157
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:01,519
And then there's official,
if you know what I mean.
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00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,839
I knew exactly what she meant!
159
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,753
There's nothing more undercover
than a closeted gay guy.
160
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,439
But I guess I'd passed the test.
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00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,359
Because Marge called Langley
and put me on the duty roster.
162
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,880
Now all I had to do was go home
and wait for my first assignment.
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00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,440
This is the police! Come out, American!
You're surrounded!
164
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,600
Shut up! Come in, asshole.
165
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,159
So... What are we having?
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00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,799
Eggs and bacon. And toast and jelly.
167
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,319
I bet it's gooood!
168
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:38,399
It's so good!
You won't believe how good it is!
169
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,359
Yeah? It looks like it.
170
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,719
So. How do you like your eggs?
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00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,759
I don't know. Cook them. Maybe like yours.
172
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:50,040
Alright! One Emil Special coming right up!
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00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,879
You know, this is really
good food you make.
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00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:03,319
Thanks!
175
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,159
Anyone ever say that to you?
176
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:09,319
I cook all the time for my little brother
and sister. They love it when I do.
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00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:12,799
I see why. You miss your family?
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00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,839
I do.
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00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:20,439
Well. We'll be your family. You'll even
be sick of us. Just like the real ones.
180
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:24,179
And you're already big news around here.
My brother told his mates
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00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:28,519
about the party, and all is
good people here. You'll like us.
182
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,839
Yeah. I've never felt so welcome before.
183
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,799
And listen to this! Bent bought
six cases of beer for your party!
184
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:38,239
Six cases! We couldn't believe him
when he told us.
185
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:42,639
Because he's so cheap.
We call him Uncle Joakim.
186
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,479
Who's Uncle Joakim?
187
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:48,439
Oh, yeah. You guys call him Scrooge McDuck.
You know, Donald Duck's uncle?
188
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,879
What's tight with the money?
189
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,399
Me and Elizabeth will go to the party
when she get back from her job.
190
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,919
Who's Elizabeth?
191
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,319
That's my girl!
192
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,399
My sweetheart.
193
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:05,119
Elizabeth, he says! Of course,
he's not gay. I always zero in on the
194
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,959
straight cases that I can never have.
Story of my gay-ass life!
195
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,359
Okay, you are crazy!
196
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:16,319
This is-this is not me! This is your
brother, who comes here in his Mercedes,
197
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:21,119
two, three times a day!
And he takes your money! Not me!
198
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:25,239
This is the last time!
Next time you are on my list of shit!
199
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:29,759
Accuse me one more time,
and you will be on my bigger list of shit!
200
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:33,120
Aaaggghhh! I'm watching you!
201
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:44,039
You see?! That's the problem you make me!
This will be paid on money I paid you!
202
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,319
Oh, yeah, because that is my fault too!
203
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,200
Ass!
204
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,039
Go back to your Czech Republic!
205
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,519
You fucking idiot!
206
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,880
Hey! Johnnie! Johnnie!
207
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:33,279
Johnnie Americani!
Take a beer man! It's on me!
208
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:34,359
Thank you very much!
209
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,760
Hey, hey! Everybody! Everybody!
Johnnie speaked Danish!
210
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,760
Not really.
211
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:54,799
You drink too much.
212
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,839
And the redneck is right behind us!
213
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,639
But then he trips on his own shit!
214
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,559
Have a nice trip?
215
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,199
You stupid idiot!
216
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,199
Man! You're crazy!
217
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:30,600
Hi. You're a little wet.
Is it raining orange soda pop outside?
218
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:39,239
I think Bent's right. You're nuts.
Emil! Bring me a Sprite or a 7-up!
219
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,399
Fuck you!
220
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,240
You ever want breakfast again?
221
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,640
We gotta get that orange stuff
out of your shirt or it will never go away.
222
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:53,380
No hot dogs tonight?
223
00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:55,880
What?
224
00:18:56,120 --> 00:19:00,480
The grill kiosk. No hot dogs.
I saw you there before.
225
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:07,879
Well, I quit them. So that means
no more hot dogs ever again.
226
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:14,639
That's why I said, "No more of this
anymore!" And I disappeared. Into the air!
227
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,719
You speak English.
228
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,479
I do a bit, yeah.
229
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,540
Cool.
230
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,039
What's your name?
231
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,279
Hey, Sander!
232
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,540
Fuck you still, Johnnie.
233
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,599
Hi, Emil.
234
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:28,839
Thank you.
235
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:35,800
Do you mind?
236
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,360
No! Yeah! Do that man, thank you.
237
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,039
Guess you'll take it from here.
238
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:16,359
Okay. We don't want people
to talk shit about us, right?
239
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,920
Yeah. Don't take no shit, Sander.
240
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,420
Thanks for the help, Johnnie Allen.
241
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,479
You know my name.
242
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,520
Yeah. Everybody here does.
243
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:38,799
You know, I wasn't planning to come here
tonight. But there was going
244
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,200
to be an American guy here.
245
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,000
That's you!
246
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:49,200
Anyway, I'm car-ous about this American.
247
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,200
I think you mean curious.
And I am a curiosity.
248
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,740
I'm glad to meet you.
249
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,440
Me too.
250
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:12,640
♪ Well I hope that
I don't fall in love with you.
251
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:22,480
♪ 'Cuz falling in love just makes me blue.
252
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,439
♪ Well I turn around and look at you,
253
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,399
♪ and you look back at me
254
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:35,159
♪ I search the place for your lost face...
255
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:39,920
♪ Guess I'll have another round.
256
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:50,120
♪ And I think that
I just fell in love with you. ♪
257
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:54,620
Chapter III
'Then Came Sander'
258
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,879
I met a guy last night at the party.
259
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,880
I'm such a big fat fag.
And clearly, he's not.
260
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,400
I mean he's cute.
But, that doesn't even matter.
261
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:13,480
His spirit. Man, his spirit is just so...
262
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:18,680
Hey!
263
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:23,360
Oh! There it is!
Now my mom won't kill me.
264
00:23:24,860 --> 00:23:27,799
Oh, sorry! Come on in, Sander.
265
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:33,720
Thank you, Johnnie Allen.
Oh, it's a nice place you have here.
266
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,959
Emma called her.
267
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:45,359
I know. So, my mom said
I should come here and, uh,
268
00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:48,700
get this sexy scarf
so I wouldn't be too cold.
269
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:50,680
Well, here it is.
270
00:23:51,300 --> 00:23:52,240
Thank you.
271
00:23:54,180 --> 00:23:56,239
So, do you want a Coke?
272
00:23:56,240 --> 00:24:03,220
No, that's-that's okay. I mean, you
must have a lot of things to do, right?
273
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:08,240
No. Not really.
I'm just waiting to start work.
274
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,160
What is your job?
275
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,600
I drive people places.
276
00:24:16,020 --> 00:24:17,080
Like a taxi?
277
00:24:18,020 --> 00:24:19,120
Yeah.
278
00:24:30,820 --> 00:24:32,120
You liking Denmark, then?
279
00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:35,239
Yeah. Very much, actually.
280
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,180
I could see myself staying here
for a long time, maybe.
281
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,360
We do got some nice people here.
282
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:47,800
And we do also got some pretty sexy ladies
who would love to be with an American guy.
283
00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:49,800
Especially with yellow hair.
284
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:56,119
I'm not really looking for a girl.
I have too much to do. So...
285
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:59,960
Of course. I mean,
I said you were a busy guy.
286
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,000
I bet you have a dozen girlfriends.
287
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:06,879
I-I'm sorry. A doz?
288
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,479
Oh, sorry, it means 12. The number 12.
289
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:14,240
Ah, 12, yeah! Uh, no way, man,
I'm uhm, I'm not having one of those.
290
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,359
You know, I have a sister
so that's bad enough.
291
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:18,880
Okay.
292
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:25,599
Oh, I'm sorry! You want a Coke?
293
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,640
Not with your spit on it!
294
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:34,239
So, you wanna go do something?
295
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,719
Like what?
296
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,999
I don't know. Show me something.
297
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:48,359
Okay. I know something to see.
It's the best ever.
298
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,480
And I think maybe
you will like it very much.
299
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,480
So, show me!
300
00:25:57,120 --> 00:26:02,920
♪ Let us be lovers,
we'll marry our fortunes together.
301
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:10,000
♪ I've got some real estate
here in my bag!
302
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:15,439
♪ It took me four days
to hitchhike from Saginaw,
303
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:22,040
♪ I've gone to look for America.
304
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,239
♪ Laughing on the bus
305
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,120
♪ Playing games with the faces.
306
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:36,240
♪ She said the man
in the gaberdine suit was a spy.
307
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:45,320
♪ I said be careful,
his bowtie is really a camera. ♪
308
00:26:59,140 --> 00:27:00,980
Skoal!
309
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,639
He got you pretty good, man!
310
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,439
Yeah!
311
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:09,839
So, yeah, now you,
now you met my little brother.
312
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,919
Yeah. You wait, kid.
I'll return the favor!
313
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:13,050
This, we'll see.
314
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,239
He kicked your ass!
315
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:16,639
Yeah!
316
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,279
Anyway, it was fun.
We need more days like these!
317
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,799
Yeah! You were right, Sander.
It was awesome.
318
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:24,119
Yeah, I know.
319
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:27,039
Jannik is a pretty good shot
for an opera singer, by the way.
320
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,479
An opera singer? Wow!
321
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,359
You are staying in Denmark.
322
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:32,519
I think I might.
323
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,319
No, I'm saying it. I'm not asking it.
324
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,599
Oh, really?
You some kind of psychic?
325
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:41,399
I'm very smart, you see...
And I know things. And this I know.
326
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:46,159
This is no! Yes?! Very good!
327
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:50,239
Yeah... don't... don't listen
to him. He's a Hansen.
328
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,639
He's not quite right up here yet.
329
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:57,439
Don't listen to him, Johnnie. It's
what he says when he knows he's wrong.
330
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:00,599
But you're a pretty good shot
yourself, you know.
331
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,839
Thanks. I've tried
a couple times before.
332
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:03,840
It shows.
333
00:28:03,841 --> 00:28:05,879
You sucked.
334
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:06,800
What?
335
00:28:06,801 --> 00:28:09,439
- Yeah, you did. And it...
- I didn't suck!
336
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:10,420
Yeah, you did.
337
00:28:10,521 --> 00:28:13,359
And you know it's kind of embarrassing
that your little brother is better than you.
338
00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:14,839
Yeah!
339
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,959
He shot you, too!
340
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,079
Yeah, well, he shot me... I shot you...
341
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,639
That makes him better than you.
342
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,919
No, it doesn't. That's...
that's some bullshit logic!
343
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,639
It's perfect logic, you know?
344
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,639
Do all you guys think...?
345
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,159
I think everybody agrees on that.
346
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,799
Well, okay. Screw you guys!
347
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:37,550
You've got some other talents...
You know how to walk.
348
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,579
Alright! See you guys! Have fun.
349
00:28:43,580 --> 00:28:44,819
Yeah!
350
00:28:44,820 --> 00:28:46,099
Okay, I'll get you next time.
351
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:47,840
- See you, Johnnie Allen.
- Bye!
352
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,399
Ever since Yuri Gagarin
made his flight, every boy
353
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:06,520
in Soviet Union want to go where
he had gone. And we were no different.
354
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,999
Well, that was a good show, I think.
355
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,519
Yeah. Awesome.
356
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:25,799
I think I will go home now. But, uh...
What are you doing this weekend?
357
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,679
You know my job?
358
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:28,959
Yeah.
359
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,239
I got my first assignment,
so tomorrow I'll leave for Copenhagen
360
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,839
and stay the night
until I start working.
361
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,479
When are you getting home?
362
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,359
Monday. Tuesday at the latest.
363
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:40,799
See you then.
364
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:41,960
Okay.
365
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:57,439
I can imagine his lips on mine and the
feeling of his breath against my neck.
366
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:01,959
I can admire his body and dream
of holding him and caressing him.
367
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:06,359
But I can keep myself in check.
I've been building trust.
368
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,800
And damned if I'm gonna ruin it
because of my infatuation.
369
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,560
Okay. It's more than infatuation.
370
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,560
I'm so fucked.
371
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,919
Travel days are always exciting for me.
372
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,439
Plus, it's the official start
of my CIA job.
373
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:43,440
"Johnnie Allen!
Gay Spy for the CIA! Boo yah!"
374
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,239
And when I got to the station,
guess who was waiting for me?
375
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:51,039
None other than Sander Lars Hansen!
Who had the bright idea to go to
376
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,800
Copenhagen with me
and hang out until my job started.
377
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,680
Who am I to argue with a bright idea?
378
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,200
What if I said
that you couldn't go with me?
379
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,719
I would probably push you
in front of the train when it came.
380
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,720
Ohhh... you gangsta!
381
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:14,159
I know that we truly are friends...
That I can trust him.
382
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:22,520
And that's the pickle. I know I can trust
this beautiful man, but can he trust me?
383
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:30,399
I know he has no fucking idea
of how I feel for him.
384
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:34,320
With Sander, I'm not gonna make
that mistake. He means too much to me.
385
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:42,399
Okay, I got an idea. But you
maybe think it's crazy, I think.
386
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,540
No.
387
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,639
Okay, then.
388
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,119
What?
389
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:51,079
You said no.
Who were you talking to?
390
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:55,559
What I meant was... No, I don't
think it'll be crazy. Tell me!
391
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,300
And, uhm, I was just on the phone.
392
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:04,279
Yeah, I know you were on the phone.
I was asking you who you were talking to.
393
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,919
Oh! Uhm... It was just some...
394
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:11,080
Dude! I'm fucking with you.
Come! I show you my idea!
395
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:16,480
♪ Where in hell do you go?
Far from the things that you know.
396
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:26,920
♪ Faceless, nameless, innocent, blameless
and free. What's that like to be? ♪
397
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,760
So, will you tell me where we're going?
398
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:33,239
We're going to see the queen.
399
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,439
What?
400
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:35,760
I'm not joking.
401
00:33:35,861 --> 00:33:39,719
We're going to her house. And maybe
she invites us for coffee and cakes.
402
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,759
Idiot.
403
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:46,159
Yeah, you will see, Johnnie Allen.
You will see.
404
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:49,959
I don't think he's going to be invited
to the queen's palace anytime soon.
405
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,639
Nah. He's too drunk.
406
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,120
Maybe he can drink with Margrethe.
407
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,999
You're such a sweetheart.
408
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,720
Come, Johnnie, Margrethe awaits!
409
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:17,599
Oh, there they are. You see them?
410
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,879
No. Where.
411
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,839
Can you hear them? Listen.
412
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,519
Yeah, I hear them.
413
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,279
Okay can you see them now?
414
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:28,759
No.
415
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,559
Dude, you have to look there.
416
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:35,600
Fucking hell! That scared me, man!
They look mean!
417
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,199
So, what now?
What are they gonna do, anyway?
418
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:44,759
Just see what happens when, uh...
When I make the noise.
419
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:48,919
And what the guard mans will do.
It's very militair...
420
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,279
Dude, they have guns... Big guns.
421
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,560
They won't shoot.
422
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,319
Give vigilance!
423
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,440
And now we run!
424
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:07,949
♪ Oh, motherland! Cradle me.
Keep me safe, lie with me...
425
00:35:07,950 --> 00:35:15,320
♪ Stay beside me.
Don't go. Don't you go... ♪
426
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:19,319
Fun, right?! We are now royals!
427
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,399
You're crazy! You're a frickin' loon!
428
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:27,319
And you're Johnnie, King of Denmark!
And I am Crown Prince Sander of Odense!
429
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,119
Frickin' loon!
430
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:33,479
The guard men just prove it
when they're saluting us!
431
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:37,359
You should be king,
since you're Danish.
432
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,719
But you're so much smarter.
And you look better.
433
00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:44,079
Say that again. I missed that part.
434
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:45,519
You are smarter.
435
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,479
No, the other part.
436
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:52,639
And you look better. You do!
Big strong American dude!
437
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:56,559
Are you kidding me? You're the
best-looking person I've ever met!
438
00:35:56,560 --> 00:36:00,519
You are such a fag.
You know that, right?
439
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,640
Shut up!
440
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:22,359
Whoa! It's a nice place, man.
441
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:27,399
Oh, there's just one bed. I was
supposed to be here by myself, uhm...
442
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,999
It's plenty big.
443
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,919
I can sleep on the couch,
dude, I don't mind.
444
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:36,359
No, man, you can sleep on the bed.
It's fine with me if it's fine with you.
445
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:40,439
What? Sleep in the same bed
with Sander Lars Hansen?
446
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,399
It's a dream come true!
447
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,959
But then he asked me something
that took me totally by surprise...
448
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,920
And all I wanted was to say yes!
449
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:52,479
I want to go with you on your job trip.
I know it's not possible, but...
450
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:56,320
You asked me what I wanted,
and then I told you.
451
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,399
I really wish you could go.
452
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:31,999
Me too. Are you angry with me now?
453
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,039
Hell no! Absolutely not!
454
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:40,999
Good. I was worried you would think
I was too pushy to even joke about it.
455
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,160
It's all good, Sander.
456
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:49,399
Sleep well.
457
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:53,759
Sov godt! That means
don't snore or wet the bed.
458
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:55,599
I'll do my best.
459
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:56,640
Thank you!
460
00:38:05,380 --> 00:38:09,340
Chapter IV
'Mango Begins'
461
00:38:12,700 --> 00:38:16,960
Well, this is it. Time to find out
what my first job is.
462
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,059
There's a moment that you recognize
463
00:38:21,060 --> 00:38:23,540
when you know you're about
to jump without a bungee cord.
464
00:38:24,340 --> 00:38:26,999
Yes, I trusted him.
And yes, I knew what I was about
465
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:33,339
to do was a crime far worse than losing
an exciting career. But there it is.
466
00:38:33,340 --> 00:38:34,899
Is it good? Johnnie!
467
00:38:34,900 --> 00:38:37,500
Are you happy for the job?
What does it say?
468
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:41,720
Look, I do get a car so,
I won't have to walk.
469
00:38:44,140 --> 00:38:45,640
Okay, okay!
470
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:53,039
I made my decision. Wrong or right.
And the time had come to lay it all out.
471
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:57,280
Alright, Sander, I know this is stupid.
But I'm gonna do it anyway.
472
00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:03,319
You are a real spy?
Like in James Bond?
473
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,759
No. It's nothing like that.
474
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,799
You got a big enemy
like in James Bond?
475
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:11,959
Dude! It's nothing like that!
Cool it!
476
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,759
I'm not James friggin' Bond.
477
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,839
No, you're Johnnie Bond.
478
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,679
I don't know if I understand
everything about this...
479
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,599
But I'm pretty sure your job is different
than making hot dogs for Pavel the Czech.
480
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:26,719
Yeah. It is different than that.
481
00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:30,039
I like that
I'm going with you on this job.
482
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,359
But I really hope there's no trouble...
483
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,039
Johnnie Bond!
484
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:40,359
Stop! Besides, we're just
two guys going on a road trip.
485
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:41,920
What could go wrong?
486
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,039
Is that it?
487
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,400
Yep. I think that's the one.
488
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,440
Whoa! Dude! Fuck me, man!
489
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,519
Okay, I never thought I would
fell in love with a German before. But...
490
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:01,079
Dude! I love this German!
491
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:06,039
It ain't a Skoda, that's for sure.
I'm afraid to touch it!
492
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:11,180
Not me! Open it!
Daddy needs a new set of wheels!
493
00:40:19,740 --> 00:40:21,800
Ahhh!
494
00:40:25,860 --> 00:40:29,919
Do you know how much time in Danish
prison for grand theft auto these days?
495
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:34,340
I don't know, but whatever it is,
it will be worth it.
496
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,960
Do you think they will miss it
if we don't bring it back?
497
00:40:42,100 --> 00:40:43,290
Test drive?
498
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,400
Gentlemen! Start up your motors!
499
00:40:50,550 --> 00:40:52,750
That's the stuff!
500
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:06,400
If this is what your job
is like I wanna be a spy, too.
501
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:11,719
I'm not a spy, you knucklehead.
How many times I gotta say it?
502
00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:16,919
Whatever. I would clean a pub toilet
with my dick to have a car like this one.
503
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:18,359
Ewww!
504
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:19,999
Oh, like you wouldn't.
505
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,399
Ah, well.
506
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:25,080
Exactly!
You're just as disgusting as I am.
507
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,960
I'm hungry!
508
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,690
Look what I got for you.
509
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,500
A tacky tree, just like home.
510
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,959
Shuddup.
511
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:12,080
Oh, you like it. You like it.
512
00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:19,779
Hello.
513
00:42:19,780 --> 00:42:23,959
Hi, Grampy! It's me!
Everything's good!
514
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:27,419
You think I don't know
when things ain't good, Stomper?
515
00:42:27,420 --> 00:42:30,499
I known you longer than that.
Spill it, kid.
516
00:42:30,500 --> 00:42:32,659
Ah, Grampy... I don't know.
517
00:42:32,660 --> 00:42:35,550
The beans. Now. Spill'em.
518
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:40,399
I met a guy and I like him a lot.
In fact, I love him, Grampy.
519
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,319
Did you tell him that?
520
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:46,919
No. Because I don't think he's...
I mean, I know he's not gay.
521
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:52,279
His name is Sander. And I fell for him
like a rock the second I laid eyes on him.
522
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,959
It's so dang easy
for straight people because...
523
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:57,999
Grampy, I'm afraid I might lose him as
a friend if he doesn't like gay people.
524
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:02,559
You ain't defined by who you
sleep with, Stomper. He'll like ya.
525
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:06,999
And if'n he don't? Well, he ain't
nobody you wanna be around anyways.
526
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,599
I love you, Grampy.
527
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,999
I love ya, kid.
And don't you ever forget it.
528
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,549
Bye!
529
00:43:12,550 --> 00:43:14,550
Adios.
530
00:43:36,540 --> 00:43:38,999
I'm boarding an ocean liner
in a hundred-thousand-dollar car,
531
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,479
sitting next to the most
awesome human being that I know.
532
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:45,720
So that I can do a job
that way overpays me.
533
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:53,079
We'll soon meet with the contact, and then
it's bon voyage for Johnnie and Sander.
534
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:54,800
Damn, I'm a lucky bastard!
535
00:44:02,950 --> 00:44:04,359
Where do we go?
536
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:07,800
South Jylland. To pick up the guy
we're driving to Belgium.
537
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,479
He should just take the bus.
538
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,520
Then you and me can drive
real fast and have a good time.
539
00:44:15,100 --> 00:44:17,619
My boss might have
something to say about that.
540
00:44:17,620 --> 00:44:20,280
She will have to catch us first!
541
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,039
Alright, let's hit the sack.
542
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:38,280
Yep!
543
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,150
I think it's ABBA.
544
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,859
What makes you think that?
I think it's a bad cover band.
545
00:44:48,860 --> 00:44:55,480
Ah yeah. But the beat... It goes
with the Mamma Mia song. Listen.
546
00:44:58,220 --> 00:45:01,260
You're right. You some kind
of disco queen or something?
547
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:07,640
Nah. You can fit any dance song to
those beats. It's just like with hip-hop.
548
00:45:21,500 --> 00:45:24,319
Dude! You're doing it
perfect to the music!
549
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:29,300
I know! I'm a slave to the rhythm.
550
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:38,800
Good night.
551
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:40,600
Good night.
552
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:54,639
Jens Hansen had himself a farm...
553
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:57,359
E-I-E-I-O...
554
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:58,880
For fuck's sake!
555
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:05,439
Upon his farm there was a pig...
556
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:08,239
E-I-E-I-O!
557
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:10,799
With an OINK-OINK here-
558
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,199
-with an OINK-OINK there...
559
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:14,559
An OINK-OINK...
OINK-OINK... OINK-OINK-
560
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:15,359
-everywhere an OINK!
561
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:33,199
Echo-Sierra-Whisky, duty officer.
How may I assist you?
562
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,879
Mango Transport Primary, report:
563
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:42,359
Code Five Five Kilo Oscar.
Follow-Kilo Hotel India; end report.
564
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:46,759
Mango Transport Primary, copy that.
Thank you. Good day, sir.
565
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:52,159
You're just this big spymaster, who
wants his martini shaken, not stirred.
566
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:57,639
That's why I say, you, man...
You're Johnnie Bond!
567
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,340
Bonehead!
568
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:09,919
So, are we doing more spy stuff?
569
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:11,639
Spy stuff?
570
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:15,879
Yeah, you know... Secret agent things.
571
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:20,199
You were looking at your Marge pack.
What does it say?
572
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,080
Oh, let's see!
573
00:47:24,240 --> 00:47:28,519
It says for Sander Lars Hansen
to mind his own business!
574
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:31,079
I could tell you what it says, but
then I'd have to use my ninja skills
575
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:32,749
and beat you into next week.
576
00:47:32,750 --> 00:47:35,999
Oh, yeah. You Americans are so violent.
577
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,480
- What can I say? It's the video games.
- Ah!
578
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:45,659
Can you at least say why
we're standing here like coat racks?
579
00:47:45,660 --> 00:47:47,979
We're making an exchange.
580
00:47:47,980 --> 00:47:49,100
What?
581
00:47:51,500 --> 00:47:54,800
No! Not my lovely German? Why?
582
00:47:56,500 --> 00:47:59,300
Speaking of the devil.
There he comes.
583
00:48:01,140 --> 00:48:03,050
Okay, is that our new car?
584
00:48:04,720 --> 00:48:07,800
I think I have to cheat on
my first German and go with this one.
585
00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:13,499
It's a BMW. Guess my
American bosses don't buy American.
586
00:48:13,500 --> 00:48:15,359
Can you blame them?
587
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,200
It's a BMW!
588
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:19,150
Wait here a minute.
589
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,860
Here's the key. It's the blue
Mercedes just up the road.
590
00:48:38,550 --> 00:48:39,460
Okay!
591
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,160
Where do we get the man
we're supposed to find?
592
00:48:58,150 --> 00:48:59,699
Why are you laughing?
593
00:48:59,700 --> 00:49:04,959
We're picking him up at a church.
And that's not the funniest part.
594
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,420
What is the funniest part?
595
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:14,000
Are you fucking kidding me?
596
00:49:37,700 --> 00:49:39,400
Behave yourself.
597
00:49:57,750 --> 00:50:01,140
Excuse me. Do you happen to know if
there are any good shows in the town?
598
00:50:02,330 --> 00:50:05,439
I am not from around here.
I wouldn't know.
599
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:07,180
We're not in Warsaw anymore?
600
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:11,120
Schackenborg, I believe they call it.
601
00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:13,200
Let's go.
602
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:35,359
We'll be stopping at a safe house in a
couple hours to get a shower and some sleep.
603
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:38,760
We're also picking up an assistant there
who'll ride the rest of the way with us.
604
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:46,319
I'm Petrenko. I'm very relieved
that you're here.
605
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:49,519
Things don't always go as planned, no?
606
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:51,049
But we're off to a good start.
607
00:50:51,050 --> 00:50:52,400
Yeah, we are.
608
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:56,850
Tell me...
Sorry, what shall I call you?
609
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:58,640
Name's John.
610
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:05,999
Yes, John. Tell me, will there be
any food available at the safe house?
611
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:09,999
That I don't know. But I can pick something
up on the way that we can bring with us.
612
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:15,279
Yes. That would be very,
very appreciated. Anything will do.
613
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:16,899
Be right back.
614
00:51:16,900 --> 00:51:20,360
No trouble at all.
Take your time.
615
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:36,400
Hello, my friend. All is according
to plan. That bastard's dead.
616
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:42,999
No, the driver has no idea at all.
He believes I'm Petrenko...
617
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:50,440
Mango. No, their Operation Mango
is dead. Finished. I promise that.
618
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:56,159
Yeah, we're just leaving Denmark.
We're in Germany in a few minutes.
619
00:51:56,160 --> 00:52:00,159
I understand. He won't like
the winters in Murmansk.
620
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:05,919
Or maybe he can join that fuck,
Petrenko, instead. Huh?
621
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,879
I can't guarantee how good it is,
but at least it's hot.
622
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:10,319
Thank you, John.
623
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:13,279
I got us chicken. Figured
we couldn't go wrong with that.
624
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:19,260
Excellent, my friend! We got
this party started in a good way, huh?
625
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:27,979
OUT: CODENAME: RASCAL //
10-20 SAFEHOUSE "ELMER".
626
00:52:27,980 --> 00:52:32,940
Have left Package at safehouse.
On errands. All is 5x5.
627
00:52:37,100 --> 00:52:43,060
Chapter V
'Revelations'
628
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:56,079
Knock knock! How'd you do?
629
00:52:56,080 --> 00:53:02,320
Hurry! We need to talk private!
Very important!
630
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:05,060
First, I've got to piss!
631
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:14,479
We got trouble, Johnnie!
And this is bad! This is really bad!
632
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,540
Dude, you're scaring me.
What happened?
633
00:53:20,900 --> 00:53:25,059
The man we're driving is not
the man you were supposed to meet.
634
00:53:25,060 --> 00:53:28,499
- What?
- He's a bad man, Johnnie.
635
00:53:28,500 --> 00:53:31,150
I heard him on the phone
when you were in the food place.
636
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:34,000
And do you know who he called?
637
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:38,999
No. He spoke in English.
638
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:43,999
He said his man got the man
you were meant to drive to Belgien.
639
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:52,579
And he promised that... I can't remember
exactly what he said, but he's a bad man!
640
00:53:52,580 --> 00:53:56,049
Man, if you weren't in the trunk.
641
00:53:56,050 --> 00:53:59,599
Should we call someone?
Maybe the police?
642
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:05,340
I don't know! I mean, they kidnapped
the guy you were meant to drive to Belgien!
643
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:10,900
We have to figure this out.
We can't get it wrong.
644
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:15,350
Are we still driving tomorrow?
645
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,799
Mike-Alpha-Sierra 7-2-6.
646
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,999
Marge? Juliet-Papa-Alpha,
4-null-null.
647
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:41,199
Package and delivery are compromised.
Level alpha-one. I say again...
648
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:42,800
What do you know?!
649
00:54:51,300 --> 00:54:54,160
Don't forget to make a big deal out
of carrying his bag when he comes out.
650
00:54:58,200 --> 00:54:59,379
You're right on time.
651
00:54:59,380 --> 00:55:01,359
Like a Swiss train.
652
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:05,899
Here's the fact. I got a pic
from the station chief in Warsaw.
653
00:55:05,900 --> 00:55:06,950
Is this the guy?
654
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:14,259
That's him.
655
00:55:14,260 --> 00:55:15,479
You're absolutely sure?
656
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:16,499
No doubt.
657
00:55:16,500 --> 00:55:18,099
Then we got a bigger problem.
658
00:55:18,100 --> 00:55:19,699
What?
659
00:55:19,700 --> 00:55:22,099
The chief
is the only person I talked to.
660
00:55:22,100 --> 00:55:23,899
He's also the real assett's handler.
661
00:55:23,900 --> 00:55:27,179
But he's also the one
who sent me the wrong picture.
662
00:55:27,180 --> 00:55:29,579
Johnnie! That's not our guy!
663
00:55:29,580 --> 00:55:32,199
So, it's got to be
the station chief who's behind it.
664
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,759
Yep. I'm afraid for our guy.
665
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:38,759
Their little game won't work,
I can promise...
666
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:40,600
Sorry! He's walking to the car!
667
00:55:43,500 --> 00:55:46,499
"...Terrorist plot
thwarted in Haifa, Israel...
668
00:55:46,500 --> 00:55:49,399
English footballer caught
with his pants down...
669
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:54,039
The International Monetary Fund
will lose billions in Greek default...
670
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:58,299
And gay marriage is universal
in all E.U. nations...
671
00:55:58,300 --> 00:56:01,640
This is the BBC world service."
672
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:05,100
Will you listen to that shit?
673
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:08,260
I don't know why anybody tries anymore.
674
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:13,560
Fucking butt fuckers,
getting married like normal people!
675
00:56:15,180 --> 00:56:18,399
That's one thing
the Soviet Union was good for.
676
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:21,119
They would at least disappear
those pieces of shit
677
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,049
and send them off to Siberia
where they could
678
00:56:23,050 --> 00:56:25,240
fuck each other in a snowy gulag!
679
00:56:26,540 --> 00:56:30,500
They won't be getting married in Russia
anytime soon, that's for sure!
680
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:43,500
Can we take a stop to go to the toilet?
I think we all could use a break right now.
681
00:56:43,900 --> 00:56:50,360
♪ ...And all I ever knew? Only you. ♪
682
00:56:54,750 --> 00:57:03,999
♪ Sometimes when I think of your name
when it's only a game. And I need you.
683
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:11,000
♪ Listen to the words that you say. It's
getting harder to stay. When I see you... ♪
684
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:16,720
How will this end?
685
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:22,399
I don't know exactly. But my boss said
she put everything in place.
686
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,425
My guess is, we'll get there
and they'll have agents
687
00:57:24,526 --> 00:57:26,100
waiting to take him
to his new apartment.
688
00:57:27,060 --> 00:57:30,879
Oh yeah. The ones
with the locks and the bars.
689
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:34,039
Maybe they make him
wash the floors and the toilets.
690
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:35,960
With his toothbrush!
691
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:42,650
You know what, Johnnie?
692
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:49,799
I know that things don't look so good
for you and your job right now, but...
693
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,399
I just want to let you know that...
694
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:55,080
This has been one big adventure for me.
695
00:57:56,460 --> 00:58:00,039
You're right.
I probably will lose my job.
696
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,520
I might have to ask Pavel the Czech
for a new one at your old hot dog place.
697
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:07,000
Dude!
698
00:58:09,900 --> 00:58:11,400
You don't mess with the hat!
699
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:17,600
There he comes. Let's go.
700
00:58:32,180 --> 00:58:33,540
Constable?
701
00:58:33,780 --> 00:58:35,039
What?
702
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:37,799
I think he means are you comfortable?
703
00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:39,799
Oh! Yes, yes, quite so.
704
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:44,800
Good, good! We just got one thing to be taken
care of and then we can be on our way.
705
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:55,919
Now we're ready to go.
706
00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:57,559
What in the fuck is this?!
707
00:58:57,560 --> 00:58:59,199
Nobody talks to you!
708
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:03,119
You just wait!
You're scums, you know this?
709
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:05,679
You'll both pay for your disgusting...
710
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:07,399
Ah, shut the fuck up, asshole!
711
00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:08,639
Hey!
712
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:12,239
You take me to fucking Antwerp now
so I can get clean from you both!
713
00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:14,479
I don't think he like us anymore.
714
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:16,420
And after all
we've been through together!
715
00:59:17,580 --> 00:59:19,600
- What the fuck?!
- Aaaggghhh! FUCK!
716
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:23,960
Get out! Get out NOW!
717
00:59:26,900 --> 00:59:27,959
Down on the ground!
718
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:32,399
I'm arresting you under the Amended Espionage
Act of the United States of America!
719
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:34,039
Shoot me, faggot!
720
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:35,799
And for the suspicion of the
disappearance of Nikolai Petrenko!
721
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:36,879
Do it, woman!
722
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:37,919
I'll shoot you dead!
723
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:38,950
Johnnie, you can't!
724
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:40,639
Johnnie, you can't!
725
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:41,679
Do it!
726
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:43,239
Or what?
727
00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:45,959
You're gonna bugger me to death?
728
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:50,760
Get in the fucking car, Nancy Boy!
Take me to the next town, or I swear...
729
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:53,799
Aaaggghhh! What did you do?!!!
730
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:54,800
I shot you in the foot!
731
00:59:54,801 --> 00:59:55,959
Johnnie!
732
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:57,079
What an asshole!
733
00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:00,280
Next time it's your fucking skull!
Sander! Open the trunk!
734
01:00:10,300 --> 01:00:11,800
FUCK!
735
01:00:26,620 --> 01:00:28,200
Wish me luck.
736
01:00:29,300 --> 01:00:32,159
Mike-Alpha-Sierra, seven-twenty-six.
737
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:33,540
Marge, we've got a problem.
738
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:36,359
You've got a spy in Moscow.
739
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:39,199
And the Russians know it.
740
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:41,319
Hello! What can I do for you today?
741
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:42,599
Beer?
742
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:43,999
Yes, damn it!
743
01:00:44,640 --> 01:00:46,159
Two Odense Pilsners...
744
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:47,879
and how about a paprika schnitzel?
745
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:48,559
Perfect.
746
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:50,199
Yeah, this is Copenhagen so...
747
01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:51,999
I have Carlsberg or Tuborg.
748
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:55,199
We'll take one of each!
749
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,359
Yeah. One of each. Coming right up.
750
01:00:57,560 --> 01:00:58,119
Thanks!
751
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:02,239
Damned bastards.
752
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:07,599
What is "Mango?"
753
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:14,079
Okay! Operation Mango. My first assignment.
Which I had royally screwed up.
754
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:17,099
"Aaaggghhh! What an asshole!"
755
01:01:17,100 --> 01:01:21,639
The U.S.A. was in talks with Iran about
ending their uranium enrichment program.
756
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:23,459
For obvious reasons.
757
01:01:23,460 --> 01:01:26,059
Marge got a colleague to pass her
some detailed intel on
758
01:01:26,060 --> 01:01:28,399
Mango so she could come to my rescue.
759
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:32,750
But even their secret meeting
was compromised by a 13-year-old fanboy!
760
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:35,639
Look! See?
761
01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:36,959
Magnus!
762
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:37,879
It is him!
763
01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:38,239
Who?
764
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:39,999
- Jespersen!
- Who is Jespersen?
765
01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:41,639
It's the guy I've talked about.
766
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:43,079
The guy from Danish Intelligence!
767
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:44,999
I'm gonna do it!
768
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:50,199
Let him go.
769
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:52,119
Not much you can do about it.
770
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:54,079
Got a pen?
771
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:56,399
Thanks.
772
01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:00,799
He's really a Russian spy.
773
01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:04,639
And you're the honey trap!
774
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:05,359
Yeah!
775
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:12,199
Thank you!
776
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:14,679
Jens! You're a regular rock star!
777
01:02:22,380 --> 01:02:24,000
How's your thumb?
778
01:02:26,750 --> 01:02:28,500
It works.
779
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:30,860
Get it warmed up.
780
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:39,400
Okay. If we are thumbing for a ride
we should at least do it the right way.
781
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:44,500
Dang! Awesome, dude!
Why didn't you tell me this before?
782
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:51,849
Well, because I was thinking. You don't
drink that much beer or alcohol so...
783
01:02:51,850 --> 01:02:55,160
I thought you would be upset
if you saw cannabis.
784
01:02:55,960 --> 01:02:59,459
You know, I never want you to think
that you can't tell me anything, okay?
785
01:02:59,460 --> 01:03:03,000
Well, there are some things
I can't tell you.
786
01:03:03,580 --> 01:03:05,919
Fine. Be that way.
787
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:08,300
You big fucking stoner.
788
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:13,119
Oh, hell!
789
01:03:14,200 --> 01:03:17,920
My lighter! It's in my backpack!
790
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:22,800
The Russian pig
got my fucking lighter!
791
01:03:30,900 --> 01:03:34,620
So. Sander. Uhm...
792
01:03:35,750 --> 01:03:37,840
About that kiss.
793
01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:46,239
I understand if you're not like me.
But I can't be friends with you anymore
794
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:49,999
if I can't be who I am with you.
795
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:51,679
I'm sorry that I kissed you, Johnnie...
796
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:53,959
I'm not sorry that you kissed me.
797
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:55,999
What?
798
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:57,200
I'm in love with you.
799
01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:00,439
I'm completely and totally
in love with you.
800
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:03,999
And I have been since the day you poured
orange soda pop over your stupid head.
801
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:06,680
- But...
- But nothing! I love you.
802
01:04:07,800 --> 01:04:09,359
I love you!
803
01:04:10,320 --> 01:04:13,540
Did I say it right? You big homo!
804
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,600
Why haven't you said anything?!
805
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:27,780
I have... I have been going crazy
all these days... And you love me...
806
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:32,639
You love me like I love you?
807
01:04:32,640 --> 01:04:37,320
If that kiss was the example, then,
yeah... I love you like you love me.
808
01:04:56,450 --> 01:04:56,480
Yes!!!
809
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:02,600
Ahhh! Yeah!
810
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:20,599
Thank you!
811
01:05:39,780 --> 01:05:43,860
Chapter VI
'Sleepover'
812
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:47,240
Yeah. This looks nice.
813
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:51,480
Look. One bed again.
814
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,500
I love you so much, Johnnie Allen.
815
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:24,400
I don't wanna cum too fast.
816
01:06:24,800 --> 01:06:26,380
What do you wanna do?
817
01:06:27,420 --> 01:06:30,349
I'm gonna make you
a good massage for a time.
818
01:06:30,350 --> 01:06:33,000
Sure! Where do you want me, then?
819
01:06:37,140 --> 01:06:38,960
That's awesome!
820
01:07:16,560 --> 01:07:18,440
Oh, Johnnie!
821
01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:28,799
Whoa!
822
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:30,240
Where did you...
823
01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:37,960
I was going to suck your dick, but I
think you got a bigger surprise instead!
824
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:40,650
Now I don't feel so bad.
825
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,800
Wow, man!
826
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:49,200
You came and nobody even touch it!
827
01:07:50,100 --> 01:07:53,099
That's what you call love
from the inside out, huh?
828
01:07:53,100 --> 01:07:55,640
I haven't even seen that
in pornos before!
829
01:07:59,900 --> 01:08:01,050
You know what?
830
01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:08,920
You are just such a beautiful man.
831
01:08:10,340 --> 01:08:16,139
You are so kind to me, and I
just want you to know that. Okay?
832
01:08:16,140 --> 01:08:17,759
Wow!
833
01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:19,640
Dang!
834
01:08:44,300 --> 01:08:46,320
Are you looking at my ass?
835
01:08:47,420 --> 01:08:50,200
Morning! And what if I am?
836
01:08:50,860 --> 01:08:53,499
Just checking.
837
01:08:53,500 --> 01:08:55,440
I was hoping that you were.
838
01:09:00,140 --> 01:09:02,299
Now I'm looking at your dick.
839
01:09:02,300 --> 01:09:03,660
Oh, I see.
840
01:09:06,780 --> 01:09:08,700
Now I'm touching your dick.
841
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:15,540
I like how it looks.
842
01:09:16,640 --> 01:09:19,560
That's good, I think.
It will be bad if you don't.
843
01:09:21,360 --> 01:09:23,959
No, I mean I like
how it's the whole thing.
844
01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:26,640
Some asshole doctor didn't slice up
yours when you were a baby.
845
01:09:27,220 --> 01:09:29,200
We don't do shit like that over here.
846
01:09:29,620 --> 01:09:32,440
We do where I'm from.
It totally sucks.
847
01:09:37,160 --> 01:09:40,439
Look! I'm making a little place
out of my hand for it to hide.
848
01:09:40,440 --> 01:09:43,240
Kind of like a little dog house
for your hot dog.
849
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:49,519
Did you know that my big sister
got a big crush on you.
850
01:09:49,520 --> 01:09:51,559
No way!
851
01:09:51,560 --> 01:09:54,199
Yeah. But, uh...
852
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:59,480
That's her bad luck
because you are all mine.
853
01:10:02,500 --> 01:10:04,480
And Jannik thinks
that I'm Luke Skywalker.
854
01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:06,400
Why?
855
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:09,640
He thinks that I can do anything.
856
01:10:10,940 --> 01:10:17,000
My mama says that I'm his helten.
I think "hero" is the word.
857
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:19,200
Yeah, hero.
858
01:10:20,240 --> 01:10:23,450
I know what he sees in you.
Smart kid.
859
01:10:24,250 --> 01:10:25,680
How'd you tell them... that you're...
860
01:10:27,380 --> 01:10:30,319
Sometimes I don't know
what to do with you, Johnnie Allen.
861
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:31,140
Sorry.
862
01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:33,200
But I will tell you.
863
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:40,459
Of course, I always kind of knew
that I mostly like boys.
864
01:10:40,460 --> 01:10:41,600
Mostly?
865
01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:45,100
Go on...
866
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:56,200
I fell for a boy called Torben. We had
sex. But, one day he moved to Copenhagen.
867
01:10:57,440 --> 01:11:03,799
And I got really sad. And my mom
asked me why I got so sad.
868
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:05,879
Yeah?
869
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:13,079
So, she hugs me and kisses me, and
tells me that she understands everything.
870
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:19,399
And that every boy
gets a crush on a boy sometimes.
871
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:23,160
But maybe one day
I will like girls too.
872
01:11:24,360 --> 01:11:25,720
What happened then?
873
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:28,219
Is this a pussy?
874
01:11:28,220 --> 01:11:29,619
Fuck off!
875
01:11:29,620 --> 01:11:33,160
Exactly. So here we are.
876
01:12:24,700 --> 01:12:28,100
I miss our car. This waiting
on a train thing sucks.
877
01:12:28,420 --> 01:12:29,600
Yeah, man...
878
01:12:30,500 --> 01:12:32,140
It SUCKS!
879
01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:39,240
How will you tell them?
About us, I mean.
880
01:12:40,160 --> 01:12:42,800
I show you. Gimme your phone.
881
01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:47,959
What can I help you with?
882
01:12:48,320 --> 01:12:51,359
Yeah, I'll take...
two toasted hot dogs.
883
01:12:51,640 --> 01:12:53,479
Two toasted hot dogs, Pavel.
884
01:12:53,500 --> 01:12:54,740
...You make them.
885
01:12:56,320 --> 01:12:58,439
Hi, Mom, it's your favorite child!
886
01:12:58,640 --> 01:12:59,359
Yeah, darling.
887
01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:01,199
I'm switching to English
so Johnnie can hear.
888
01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:05,719
Of course. Hi, Johnnie.
How are you two boys doing today?
889
01:13:05,720 --> 01:13:08,639
We're good, Mama.
Actually, we got, a...
890
01:13:08,640 --> 01:13:13,439
We got news for you, too.
Me and Johnnie are together.
891
01:13:13,440 --> 01:13:16,319
Yes, I know that.
You're in Copenhagen. Yes?
892
01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:17,399
Not like that.
893
01:13:17,400 --> 01:13:18,559
You know how to do it.
894
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:21,279
No. I mean, yeah, we went to...
We went to Copenhagen...
895
01:13:21,280 --> 01:13:24,620
first the mustard, then the ketchup,
and then the onions.
896
01:13:25,920 --> 01:13:27,959
And put more doggies on the grill.
897
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:31,639
What I meant was,
me and Johnnie is together.
898
01:13:31,640 --> 01:13:36,359
Ah! You're boyfriends, then!
This is very good news, Pokey!
899
01:13:36,360 --> 01:13:39,000
Oh, congratulations.
I'm so happy for you both.
900
01:13:39,680 --> 01:13:40,919
Congratulations, Johnnie!
901
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:42,300
You have a wonderful man!
902
01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:43,559
Thanks, Mom!
903
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:45,800
Thanks, uh...
904
01:13:46,320 --> 01:13:47,879
Thanks, Mrs. Hansen.
905
01:13:48,420 --> 01:13:49,699
I love your son very much.
906
01:13:49,700 --> 01:13:52,559
Oh, I know you do.
And Sander loves you, too.
907
01:13:52,560 --> 01:13:56,519
Everyone will be so happy.
Maybe not Ingrid.
908
01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:58,260
When do you boys
come back from Copenhagen?
909
01:13:58,760 --> 01:14:01,479
Yeah, uh, we will be back
on Tuesday, uh...
910
01:14:01,480 --> 01:14:05,999
But right now, we are in... We are in
Dusseldorf, changing trains to Belgien.
911
01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:08,799
Is it your honeymoon trip?
Because I can think of better places...
912
01:14:08,800 --> 01:14:12,000
Yak yak yak yak!
Phone phone phone! Help me!
913
01:14:13,600 --> 01:14:15,959
I was off an hour ago!
914
01:14:15,960 --> 01:14:18,839
Honeymoon in Belgien! So,
you can bring me some chocolate!
915
01:14:18,840 --> 01:14:23,199
No, no, no it's for... it's for Johnnie's
work! But I will bring you the chocolate.
916
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:28,600
Okay, well, be safe.
See you soon. Tuesday, okay? Bye!
917
01:14:32,440 --> 01:14:35,999
And that, dear Johnnie,
is how us Hansen's deal with it.
918
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:39,160
Live and learn, my boy!
Live and learn!
919
01:14:40,580 --> 01:14:42,840
How come she calls you, Pokey, Pokey?
920
01:14:44,600 --> 01:14:46,600
Yeah, that's a story, isn't it?
921
01:14:48,040 --> 01:14:49,560
I'm waiting.
922
01:14:50,560 --> 01:14:54,360
And let us save that story
for our 25-year anniversary, okay?
923
01:14:55,200 --> 01:14:57,100
Okay.
924
01:15:16,220 --> 01:15:18,920
Yes, of course it's me.
Stop being an idiot.
925
01:15:19,950 --> 01:15:23,880
Listen, this mission...
We have to abort now. They're on to me.
926
01:15:25,150 --> 01:15:27,200
Yeah. Small mishap.
927
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:31,100
The fucking homo shot me.
928
01:15:31,660 --> 01:15:33,560
In the foot! What does it matter?!
929
01:15:35,260 --> 01:15:38,119
No! I need to get moving.
930
01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:41,360
I'm at the Antwerp station.
I'm trying to fix a train from here.
931
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:49,359
I'm serious! Why does your mom
call you Pokey? I'm curious, man.
932
01:15:49,360 --> 01:15:53,240
Yeah, I know you are.
But I won't tell you!
933
01:16:07,140 --> 01:16:08,840
You know what? I'll tell you.
934
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:13,160
Sander! Sander?!
935
01:16:15,420 --> 01:16:16,620
AAAGGGHHH!!!!
936
01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:20,600
Fuck!
937
01:16:25,760 --> 01:16:27,319
Help! Help!
938
01:16:27,580 --> 01:16:28,700
What happened?
939
01:16:28,800 --> 01:16:30,359
Help me! Help me!
940
01:16:31,420 --> 01:16:34,420
Yeah. Yeah.
941
01:16:37,540 --> 01:16:39,000
Don't go!
942
01:16:40,880 --> 01:16:42,380
Marge! Please come!
943
01:16:43,680 --> 01:16:45,520
He shot... he shot him, Marge!
944
01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:49,359
I'm at the station!
945
01:16:49,360 --> 01:16:51,500
Just come, Marge!
946
01:16:56,240 --> 01:16:57,799
Have a car waiting for me!
947
01:17:24,620 --> 01:17:27,659
Russian subject! Drop your weapon!
948
01:17:27,660 --> 01:17:29,679
Drop it now!
949
01:17:29,680 --> 01:17:32,160
And why should I do that?
950
01:17:37,260 --> 01:17:39,479
Because if you don't,
I'm gonna kill ya!
951
01:17:39,480 --> 01:17:41,399
Why should I be afraid of you?
952
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:43,279
This doesn't have to end bad!
953
01:17:43,280 --> 01:17:44,599
Drop it now!
954
01:17:44,600 --> 01:17:45,879
Drop it!
955
01:17:45,880 --> 01:17:48,159
Stop being an idiot!
It's over for you!
956
01:17:48,160 --> 01:17:50,839
You are new to this, aren't you?
957
01:17:50,840 --> 01:17:53,399
Now here's what's gonna happen!
958
01:17:53,400 --> 01:17:57,239
I am going to leave now...
And you're not gonna stop me!
959
01:17:57,240 --> 01:18:01,999
Or I will kill the lady! And then
I will kill you! How about that?!
960
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:03,879
Not gonna happen!
961
01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:05,479
Drop your weapon!
962
01:18:05,480 --> 01:18:07,260
Toss the gun on the ground! Now!
963
01:18:09,200 --> 01:18:10,799
No.
964
01:18:10,800 --> 01:18:12,600
Johnnie, look out!!!
965
01:18:36,800 --> 01:18:38,520
Johnnie?!
966
01:18:51,960 --> 01:18:55,839
Marge visited with us
for most of the day
967
01:18:55,840 --> 01:18:58,700
and confirmed that the fake did,
indeed, try and kill us.
968
01:18:59,720 --> 01:19:04,419
I'd like to say that I took the high road,
and that I felt bad for shooting him.
969
01:19:04,420 --> 01:19:08,079
I didn't feel bad. Because
just an inch or two either way,
970
01:19:08,080 --> 01:19:12,199
and Sander could be in the morgue
right now instead of here with me.
971
01:19:12,200 --> 01:19:12,960
Where's Johnnie?
972
01:19:13,360 --> 01:19:14,839
He's okay.
973
01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:17,039
But I think
we need to call your family.
974
01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:30,759
This had better be good,
975
01:19:30,760 --> 01:19:33,079
because you're competing with
an Eyebrowed Thrush...
976
01:19:33,080 --> 01:19:35,719
Also known as the Turdus Obsurus.
977
01:19:35,960 --> 01:19:39,079
Am I talking with someone
from Sander Lars Hansen's family?
978
01:19:46,460 --> 01:19:48,679
Mama! Sander's been shot with a gun!
979
01:19:48,840 --> 01:19:49,839
Sander was shot!
980
01:19:49,840 --> 01:19:51,959
What are you on about?
981
01:19:52,460 --> 01:19:53,199
It was Russians!
982
01:19:53,880 --> 01:19:55,319
They were Russians, Mama!
983
01:20:08,960 --> 01:20:10,680
I'm good. Thanks.
984
01:20:14,800 --> 01:20:16,240
Hi, Pokey.
985
01:20:17,200 --> 01:20:18,559
I'm so sorry.
986
01:20:18,560 --> 01:20:20,700
I'm so very, very sorry.
987
01:20:21,840 --> 01:20:25,400
It's a good thing that that man
is not much of a good shot, huh?
988
01:20:44,360 --> 01:20:45,119
Hello?
989
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:48,759
Hey, Mama.
990
01:20:49,640 --> 01:20:50,719
Yeah, I'm okay.
991
01:20:51,460 --> 01:20:54,999
Yeah.
I'm laying in bed at the hospital.
992
01:20:56,720 --> 01:20:58,159
Yeah, I'm feeling good...
993
01:20:59,160 --> 01:21:00,199
It's the drugs.
994
01:21:01,880 --> 01:21:02,919
So now I have it good.
995
01:21:03,420 --> 01:21:04,919
I have it okay...
996
01:21:05,280 --> 01:21:05,879
I'm okay.
997
01:21:06,920 --> 01:21:10,759
But I'm afraid
I didn't get the chocolates!
998
01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:22,219
Marge told me
that the Russian bastard survived.
999
01:21:22,220 --> 01:21:25,669
And thankfully, because of
some reason known only to her,
1000
01:21:25,770 --> 01:21:28,999
so did my career as a
Transport Specialist for the CIA.
1001
01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:30,800
Not that I deserved it at all.
1002
01:21:33,880 --> 01:21:36,759
Nah, we're flying out in about an hour.
1003
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:39,479
So Mama, will you...
1004
01:21:39,760 --> 01:21:41,959
just not make a big deal about it?
1005
01:21:42,240 --> 01:21:43,919
We're really okay.
1006
01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:46,719
Yeah... Thanks.
1007
01:21:47,400 --> 01:21:48,879
Yeah, bye.
1008
01:21:58,700 --> 01:21:59,819
All good?
1009
01:21:59,820 --> 01:22:05,439
Yeah. She's just happy that I'm here.
And not in the grave.
1010
01:22:05,440 --> 01:22:07,480
I am, too, by the way.
1011
01:22:15,860 --> 01:22:20,839
Johnnie? Can we talk about your family?
1012
01:22:20,840 --> 01:22:25,079
Your mom and dad, and perhaps
when I can meet them?
1013
01:22:25,080 --> 01:22:26,999
Yeah, well...
1014
01:22:27,000 --> 01:22:28,150
What?
1015
01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:33,999
My mom's a Bible thumper. To her, you and
me should burn in hell forever and ever.
1016
01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:36,960
And I don't want her
to ruin what we have.
1017
01:22:37,400 --> 01:22:42,819
Don't she want you to be happy?
To be with someone who loves you?
1018
01:22:42,820 --> 01:22:48,439
You'd think so. But she likes Jesus.
And thinks gays should burn in hell.
1019
01:22:48,440 --> 01:22:54,639
Real smart stuff, right? Anyway,
I'm happily half way around the world
1020
01:22:54,640 --> 01:22:56,639
from her and her shitty husband.
1021
01:22:56,640 --> 01:23:00,499
- And I don't need to...
- Maybe I need that.
1022
01:23:00,500 --> 01:23:06,839
Johnnie, you said it yourself...
You're half way around the world. Okay?
1023
01:23:06,840 --> 01:23:10,159
You are away from them.
Maybe, what I need...
1024
01:23:10,160 --> 01:23:13,420
No, you don't!
1025
01:23:13,850 --> 01:23:21,560
So what? You just want to hide me
in the basement? Like I'm not real?
1026
01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:27,039
Ain't you happy about yourself,
Johnnie? Do you wish you wasn't...
1027
01:23:27,040 --> 01:23:29,759
I'm very happy with who I am
and who I'm becoming, Pokey.
1028
01:23:29,760 --> 01:23:31,720
Come on. Plane's boarding.
1029
01:23:35,720 --> 01:23:38,599
I promised myself no more hiding.
1030
01:23:38,600 --> 01:23:42,820
Why let her say mean things to you
or to me? That she can't take back?
1031
01:23:45,480 --> 01:23:49,519
What! Sander, what the hell?!
1032
01:23:49,520 --> 01:23:51,340
We won't work together.
1033
01:23:52,780 --> 01:23:53,860
Sander!
1034
01:23:55,280 --> 01:24:02,519
It won't work. For too many reasons.
1035
01:24:02,520 --> 01:24:09,960
So, I think you should just sit here...
And then I will be sitting over there.
1036
01:24:22,750 --> 01:24:25,000
Come on. Planes ain't gonna wait.
1037
01:24:43,340 --> 01:24:48,180
Chapter VII
"Truth Be Told".
1038
01:24:50,620 --> 01:24:51,680
Please sit.
1039
01:24:52,380 --> 01:24:53,080
Okay.
1040
01:24:58,120 --> 01:25:08,480
I always want to be fair with you.
Because I love you so much.
1041
01:25:09,360 --> 01:25:11,200
So here it comes.
1042
01:25:15,240 --> 01:25:21,280
I am not a good person.
And I'm not the man you think I am.
1043
01:25:25,000 --> 01:25:29,319
You're not my first boyfriend.
You know that, right?
1044
01:25:29,320 --> 01:25:31,520
Yeah. Torben, right?
1045
01:25:34,140 --> 01:25:39,800
I told you that when we broke up,
it wasn't a big deal at the time.
1046
01:25:44,320 --> 01:25:46,800
But it was a very big deal!
1047
01:25:49,680 --> 01:25:50,199
Hey!
1048
01:25:50,200 --> 01:25:50,799
Watch out!
1049
01:25:50,800 --> 01:25:52,759
He'll play with your dick
if he gets too close to you!
1050
01:25:53,040 --> 01:25:54,679
I fucking hate you, Hansen!
1051
01:25:55,160 --> 01:25:55,959
What've I done to you?
1052
01:25:56,080 --> 01:25:57,119
You filthy idiot!
1053
01:25:57,240 --> 01:25:58,999
You're the worst kind, faggot!
1054
01:25:59,200 --> 01:26:00,399
No, I'm not!
1055
01:26:01,040 --> 01:26:02,159
I don't wanna do this!
1056
01:26:02,720 --> 01:26:04,159
Hey! Gimme my backpack!
1057
01:26:05,080 --> 01:26:06,639
Fucking buttfucker!
1058
01:26:07,200 --> 01:26:08,359
Fucking whore!
1059
01:26:08,720 --> 01:26:09,719
Whore boy!
1060
01:26:10,420 --> 01:26:12,159
Come on, stop it now...
1061
01:26:12,420 --> 01:26:13,199
Stop it.
1062
01:26:13,200 --> 01:26:14,399
Fuck you!
1063
01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:15,559
You're not worth shit!
1064
01:26:15,760 --> 01:26:16,639
Leave him alone!
1065
01:26:16,760 --> 01:26:17,359
What the hell has he done to you?!
1066
01:26:17,360 --> 01:26:20,799
Ah! Get your ass back to
Shit-i-stan, you Paki swine!
1067
01:26:22,640 --> 01:26:24,599
Is the Paki your next butt-fuck?
1068
01:26:24,840 --> 01:26:27,639
Is this your little gay book
"How to be a Fucking Butt Fucker"?
1069
01:26:27,640 --> 01:26:28,919
Yeah, faggot!
1070
01:26:28,920 --> 01:26:29,919
Yeah, come on, let's go.
1071
01:26:30,640 --> 01:26:31,679
Torben!
1072
01:26:36,460 --> 01:26:38,639
Go home and suck your own dick!
1073
01:26:42,200 --> 01:26:44,459
I'm gonna tell
the school principal tomorrow.
1074
01:26:44,460 --> 01:26:46,199
They can't just do this!
1075
01:26:52,500 --> 01:26:54,379
Hey! Do you still love him?
1076
01:26:54,380 --> 01:26:58,519
I mean, it's okay. I'll stick around until
you tell me not to. Just stop it, Sander!
1077
01:26:58,520 --> 01:27:04,479
He was so afraid that our classmates
would think there was something between us.
1078
01:27:04,480 --> 01:27:08,119
Just like you are afraid
that your mom will know.
1079
01:27:08,120 --> 01:27:15,780
And then one day after school,
my world just gets destroyed.
1080
01:27:15,980 --> 01:27:19,779
ALL RECIPIENTS:
I cannot do this.
1081
01:27:19,780 --> 01:27:24,339
Torben, you were not my friend...
You were my life.
1082
01:27:24,340 --> 01:27:29,059
And I can't imagine life without you.
1083
01:27:29,060 --> 01:27:31,820
SEND.
1084
01:28:15,000 --> 01:28:16,319
You could have been dead!
1085
01:28:16,720 --> 01:28:18,319
- I'm sorry!
- That's not fair to Mom and me!
1086
01:28:19,240 --> 01:28:22,239
- I'm sorry!
- I need my brother!
1087
01:28:30,700 --> 01:28:38,699
I feel like a bad person because Jannik
saw what happened. I was so mean to him.
1088
01:28:38,700 --> 01:28:40,600
He saved your life.
1089
01:28:41,660 --> 01:28:44,200
You don't wish to be with me, Johnnie.
1090
01:28:46,820 --> 01:28:48,380
Melanie Martinez!
1091
01:28:51,320 --> 01:28:55,799
We cut and kill flowers
because we think they're beautiful...
1092
01:28:55,800 --> 01:28:59,499
We cut and kill ourselves
because we think we're not.
1093
01:28:59,500 --> 01:29:02,360
Melanie Martinez. She wrote it.
1094
01:29:04,840 --> 01:29:06,640
You're such a stupid American.
1095
01:29:07,480 --> 01:29:11,279
So, you won't forgive yourself!
What kind of shit is that?!
1096
01:29:11,280 --> 01:29:13,879
Dude! You gotta get past it!
We gotta get past it!
1097
01:29:13,880 --> 01:29:23,680
Except I almost killed myself
because I'm... Because I'm me. Okay?
1098
01:29:24,040 --> 01:29:32,400
I mean, you don't even want to show me
to your mom. So, where does that leave us?
1099
01:29:33,920 --> 01:29:38,200
What if we start over
from the very first?
1100
01:29:43,720 --> 01:29:48,519
I do love you.
You know that, right?
1101
01:29:48,520 --> 01:29:52,360
Yeah. Same here.
And I don't care who knows it.
1102
01:29:53,680 --> 01:29:55,439
Not even your mom?
1103
01:29:55,440 --> 01:29:59,200
No. I'll never leave you.
1104
01:30:00,720 --> 01:30:05,919
I don't know. Maybe you
should find a Norwegian instead.
1105
01:30:05,920 --> 01:30:09,519
Dumb Dane. I just might do that!
1106
01:30:09,520 --> 01:30:13,039
I can actually kind of picture you
with a Norwegian now.
1107
01:30:13,040 --> 01:30:17,279
Yurta hurta fluckity flurta!
Come-a-sucka-me-tiny Norwegian dick!
1108
01:30:17,280 --> 01:30:21,600
Asshole! Come on.
1109
01:30:24,440 --> 01:30:29,399
Still got that joint on ya? Bet we can
get a light from that cop over there.
1110
01:30:29,400 --> 01:30:32,159
Yeah, you got problems, man!
1111
01:30:32,160 --> 01:30:34,399
That's why you love me.
1112
01:30:34,400 --> 01:30:35,550
Maybe.
1113
01:31:00,780 --> 01:31:07,700
Epilogue
'Johnnie Writes a Book'
1114
01:31:12,000 --> 01:31:16,840
"It's me. Looks like I made it."
"I'm in Denmark."
1115
01:31:22,060 --> 01:31:25,740
"He's beautiful.
But I know I can never have him."
1116
01:31:26,600 --> 01:31:27,999
"Got my assignment today.
1117
01:31:28,000 --> 01:31:30,799
But I can't even look at it
'til the day of it."
1118
01:31:30,800 --> 01:31:33,080
"So, I guess I'll ju..."
1119
01:31:35,440 --> 01:31:37,599
You want me to stop?
1120
01:31:37,600 --> 01:31:38,600
No.
1121
01:31:45,520 --> 01:31:48,680
"We steer our lives onto roads
where they don't belong,
1122
01:31:48,781 --> 01:31:50,599
craving some kind of validation."
1123
01:31:50,600 --> 01:31:55,459
"We're fragile. Now I'm stronger
than I've ever been."
1124
01:31:55,460 --> 01:31:59,640
"It's because of a man who loves me
and takes me for who and for what I am."
1125
01:32:06,320 --> 01:32:08,160
Are you looking at my ass?
1126
01:32:11,260 --> 01:32:13,100
Okay, you can look a little.
1127
01:32:18,500 --> 01:32:21,519
"I've been given a gift
in Sander Lars Hansen."
1128
01:32:21,520 --> 01:32:26,119
"He's the final piece to the very strange
puzzle known as Johnnie Paul Allen."
1129
01:32:26,120 --> 01:32:28,039
"And about Sander Lars Hansen..."
1130
01:32:28,040 --> 01:32:33,239
"Will we make it together?
I think so. I really do."
1131
01:32:33,240 --> 01:32:36,959
"And don't get me wrong.
I'm happy to be me."
1132
01:32:36,960 --> 01:32:38,299
"But I'm much happier to be..."
1133
01:32:38,300 --> 01:32:40,680
"Us."
1134
01:32:49,600 --> 01:32:52,160
Do you like that, Johnnie Allen?
1135
01:33:32,460 --> 01:33:37,380
HAPPY ENDINGS SLEEPOVER
1136
01:39:50,160 --> 01:39:57,640
CAPTIONED BY WPM/SKYMARK
JOHN RIETVELD, M.P.S.E.
87663
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