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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:16,545 When was it? 2 00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:19,348 When I first started thinkin' about killing my wife... 3 00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:24,083 For those of you who've never killed anyone... 4 00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:26,082 Yes you! 5 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:29,721 You people peacefully watching 6 00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:32,064 You'll never get your mind around it. 7 00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:39,762 For you, snuffing out somebody's life is almost 100% unbelievable. 8 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:48,073 For us killing folk, not whacking someone is almost 100% unbelievable. 9 00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:50,409 Almost... 10 00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:09,723 Oh... that feels good. Yeah... 11 00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:11,860 Yeah... I'm... 12 00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:12,931 I'm com... 13 00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:14,590 A CM about a guy who's quick in bed. 14 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:16,861 He comes in 3 secs. 15 00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:20,188 Yoko's Thought Up Commercial 16 00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:50,685 Mind Blowingly Quick. 17 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:53,060 For Fast Internet Access, Get SPEED! 18 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,532 Something wrong? 19 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,012 Nothing really. 20 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:22,085 Yoko, are any commercials you made on lately? 21 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,126 Maybe. 22 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,358 Maybe that beer one? 23 00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,734 Like those pro wrestling Amazon women? 24 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:29,890 You got me. 25 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,263 I knew it. 26 00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,231 I thought so. 27 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:35,438 Why's that? 28 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,735 It's a yawn. 29 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:38,672 Really? 30 00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:41,006 So boring I almost barfed. 31 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,986 What? You angry? You're pissed. 32 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,017 Not at all... 33 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:54,418 My honest opinion is valuable, huh? 34 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,525 It's useful, right? 35 00:09:57,396 --> 00:09:58,988 But that one's really boring. 36 00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:03,857 My CMs have a certain love-hate factor. 37 00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,402 Certainly not. 38 00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:07,904 The entire country hates it. 39 00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,141 Not necessarily. 40 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,709 I almost forgot. 41 00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:13,068 What? 42 00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:14,804 You trying to kill me? 43 00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:23,218 How'd you figure me out? 44 00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:26,384 Yoko... 45 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,693 your armpits reek. 46 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,897 I gotta hold my breath to keep from dying. 47 00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:37,032 If I die, we're talking homicide. 48 00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:46,341 Say it backwards, you get REDRUM. 49 00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:53,708 You see "The Shining"? 50 00:10:54,353 --> 00:10:59,222 Killer armpit stench... 51 00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:01,519 You could use the idea. 52 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,458 You can use it in your CMs. 53 00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:07,426 Maybe I've got a flair for commercial planning. 54 00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:09,693 Well? 55 00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:13,132 Being a copy writer is a breeze. 56 00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:14,704 Anybody can do it. 57 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,013 My gut... 58 00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:30,878 All right. 59 00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,058 That was a breeze. 60 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,254 That house wasn't even locked. 61 00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:39,557 Amazing. 62 00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:41,495 How'd we make out? 63 00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:42,361 Hold on. 64 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:48,531 Ta-da! 1, 2, 3... 200,000 yen or so. 65 00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:49,502 200,000 yen! 66 00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:53,805 Hey, what's next? 67 00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:56,243 Some ladies of the evening? 68 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,314 Feelin' fine time? 69 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,642 Feelin' fine time? 70 00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:11,855 When you're, you know, which hand? 71 00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:12,725 When jacking off? 72 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,532 Me... my right hand. 73 00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:20,238 I wonder. Which one was it? 74 00:12:20,372 --> 00:12:21,464 Look out! 75 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,868 Don't check your package! Hands at 10 and 2!! 76 00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:25,000 S-s-sorry. Sorry. 77 00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:26,304 You scared me. 78 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,540 I can come without using my hands. 79 00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:33,241 What the hell? How? 80 00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:36,347 With this. Concentration. 81 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:38,220 Image! 82 00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:41,219 Get real! 83 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:42,357 Seriously! 84 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:43,086 Seriously? 85 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:45,987 Talking God's realm. 86 00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,094 You're so money, J. 87 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:49,996 Realm of the senses. 88 00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:54,833 That, I'd like to see. 89 00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:10,615 Keep your eyes on the road. 90 00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:11,745 S-s-sorry. Sorry. 91 00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:06,238 We're approaching Narita. Would you mind putting your seats upright? 92 00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:22,258 Oi. Come back here. 93 00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:29,131 What is your function here? 94 00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:32,301 Me? 95 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,509 I'm the cabin attendant so... 96 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:45,806 I make sure you passengers have a pleasant and safe flight. I guess. 97 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:54,424 That's not what I mean. What is your purpose for living? 98 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,787 What are you doing? 99 00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:00,923 What is your function on this planet? 100 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:09,269 I'm terribly sorry... That's very hard, how should I answer? 101 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,238 There's no need to think hard about it! 102 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:22,911 You'll get the wrong answer. Simply answer. 103 00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:24,953 Follow your instincts and answer. 104 00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:26,781 Even if I... 105 00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:32,856 10, 9, 8, 7, 6... 106 00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:37,993 But if, for example, you were me, how would you... 107 00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:49,939 Don't ask me! Don't be poking into my affairs! 108 00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:51,182 What are you? 109 00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:54,814 My fucking mother? There's no way you are! 110 00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:57,146 What am I, your son? 111 00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,414 I don't think so. What's with you! 112 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,717 You messed up in the head? 113 00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:04,555 You ugly bitch!! 114 00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:06,857 Receipt 115 00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:27,409 I'm home. 116 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:33,856 Welcome home, Daddy. 117 00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:36,385 Keiichi, are you still up? 118 00:16:36,528 --> 00:16:37,153 Yep. 119 00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:39,820 Another late day, huh? 120 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,990 How'd it go? 121 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,225 How'd what go? 122 00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:45,927 The Aoyama tickets... The hypnotist. 123 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:47,732 Oh, I forgot. 124 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:48,939 You forgot! 125 00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:51,042 No, I didn't forget, I... 126 00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:52,404 What? Which is it? 127 00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:53,875 Ta-da! 128 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:55,574 No way. 129 00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:56,476 Yes way. 130 00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:58,378 Way to go, Daddy. 131 00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:00,179 Were they hard to buy? 132 00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:01,445 Of course they were. 133 00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,612 His show is way popular. 134 00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:07,115 They say he hypnotizes the entire audience. 135 00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:07,920 Really? 136 00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:08,855 You know Kanako, she... 137 00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,655 No, I don't know her. 138 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,424 I was talking to Mom. 139 00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:13,289 Kana-chan? 140 00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,424 Kanako said before she went... 141 00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:20,263 She thought it was fake. Now she's a hard-core Aoyama fan. 142 00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:22,133 Aoyama's big, huh? 143 00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:24,502 He's tall and good looking. 144 00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:26,406 I'm pretty tall myself. 145 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:27,972 When is it? 146 00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:29,405 Tomorrow. 147 00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,040 We are so there. 148 00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:33,481 You've got cram school, remember? 149 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,880 Maybe I do, maybe I don't. 150 00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:38,055 No maybes about it. 151 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:40,420 Besides, I'll never get into college. 152 00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:43,390 Stop it. You and your attitude is... 153 00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:44,686 School... 154 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,028 Yes? 155 00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:47,154 Forget school. 156 00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:48,724 All right! 157 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,664 Hold on honey! 158 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,270 That's no example for our kids. 159 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:57,341 Come on. I worked my butt off to get these tickets. 160 00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:58,704 But... 161 00:17:58,977 --> 00:17:59,944 Let's play hooky! 162 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,910 OK. Who's in? 163 00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:07,913 Yippee! 164 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,988 Sometimes the kids need to relax. 165 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,249 What a wise father. 166 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:13,580 Thanks Daddy. 167 00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:15,627 Thanks Daddy. 168 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,128 Didn't they cost big money? 169 00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,263 Not really. 170 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:25,594 The president of one of my big clients, you know, Mr. Saito. 171 00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:29,639 You met him. Remember? 172 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:31,636 Nope. Not at all. 173 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:33,206 Anyway... 174 00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:40,410 He's got friends in show biz and he said he owed me. 175 00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:44,179 It's my account and I should give him something but... 176 00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:49,653 These premium tickets scalp for 100,000 yen. 177 00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:51,254 Wow. 178 00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:52,530 Sell? 179 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,599 Shall we sell them? 180 00:18:55,367 --> 00:18:58,666 What's with that face? Stop it. 181 00:18:59,104 --> 00:18:59,832 Let's sell. 182 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:01,905 To sell or not to sell. 183 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,407 That is the question. 184 00:29:29,834 --> 00:29:36,239 And now, the Non-Non pain relief medicine commercial for your viewing. 185 00:29:37,041 --> 00:29:39,009 We're most happy with the work. 186 00:29:39,410 --> 00:29:41,674 You'll be more than pleased. 187 00:29:49,354 --> 00:29:51,720 You have a phone call. 188 00:29:51,990 --> 00:29:53,048 Tell them to wait. 189 00:29:53,158 --> 00:29:55,183 It's your wife and it's urgent... 190 00:29:58,163 --> 00:29:59,152 Yeah. Yeah. 191 00:30:02,167 --> 00:30:02,929 What? 192 00:30:04,002 --> 00:30:05,902 The bathroom light is out? 193 00:30:11,609 --> 00:30:12,633 How's it coming, J? 194 00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:13,778 Like clockwork. 195 00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:15,507 You're so money, J. 196 00:30:21,286 --> 00:30:23,379 I gotta get a job soon. 197 00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:25,922 What's wrong with this job? 198 00:30:26,024 --> 00:30:27,787 There's plenty wrong with it. 199 00:30:30,195 --> 00:30:33,460 Maybe... Like what do you wanna do? 200 00:30:33,865 --> 00:30:34,797 Like what? 201 00:30:34,966 --> 00:30:39,596 Wanna do? I have something I wanna do. 202 00:30:45,343 --> 00:30:46,002 Jesus... 203 00:30:46,144 --> 00:30:47,008 Off! Idiot! 204 00:30:47,145 --> 00:30:47,839 My bad. 205 00:30:47,979 --> 00:30:49,071 It's Kawaguchi. 206 00:30:50,014 --> 00:30:50,742 Hello? 207 00:30:50,882 --> 00:30:53,544 Yes... No, no, no, no. 208 00:30:53,718 --> 00:30:55,379 Now, I'm, you know... 209 00:30:55,553 --> 00:30:57,680 No, you know, I'm tied up so... 210 00:30:57,856 --> 00:31:03,658 Yeah, well... Don't ask me... 211 00:31:05,096 --> 00:31:08,657 OK. I'll pick something up on my way home. 212 00:31:18,309 --> 00:31:20,140 Shall we take a look? 213 00:31:21,746 --> 00:31:22,804 Okay then? 214 00:31:23,648 --> 00:31:25,013 Please enjoy. 215 00:31:30,255 --> 00:31:31,017 Oh no... 216 00:31:31,155 --> 00:31:34,181 The biggest audition of my life and I've got a splitting headache... 217 00:31:34,325 --> 00:31:35,349 Next. 218 00:31:35,593 --> 00:31:36,150 Yes. 219 00:31:37,662 --> 00:31:38,959 Can you dance? 220 00:31:39,097 --> 00:31:39,893 Yes. 221 00:31:40,031 --> 00:31:42,522 Let's dance. Dance with me. Dance. 222 00:31:42,667 --> 00:31:43,656 Here's the music. OK. 223 00:31:43,835 --> 00:31:45,462 And now. Music. 224 00:31:48,006 --> 00:31:50,474 More, more. Harder. Harder. 225 00:31:50,708 --> 00:31:51,538 Harder. 226 00:31:51,676 --> 00:31:52,904 Harder. Yeah! 227 00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:57,138 You can do better. 228 00:31:57,849 --> 00:31:59,714 Harder, harder. 229 00:32:00,051 --> 00:32:01,040 Faster. 230 00:32:01,352 --> 00:32:02,284 Harder! 231 00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:04,252 More, more. 232 00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:06,284 Non-Non for Headaches. 233 00:32:27,712 --> 00:32:30,840 It's not even close to what we asked for. 234 00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:36,212 And now the if-I-can't-hypnotize-you you-win-1-million-yen contest. 235 00:32:48,666 --> 00:32:52,966 And who will the challenger from the audience be this time? 236 00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:56,773 Now... 237 00:33:00,178 --> 00:33:04,842 who's it gonna be... 238 00:33:16,060 --> 00:33:17,823 I broke a sweat. 239 00:33:18,896 --> 00:33:25,392 How about that father in the grey suit there? 240 00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:27,801 No way? 241 00:33:27,972 --> 00:33:28,768 For real? 242 00:33:52,296 --> 00:33:54,662 We never authorized this. 243 00:33:54,999 --> 00:33:56,830 This is more entertaining. 244 00:33:57,368 --> 00:34:00,860 I never said "make it entertaining". 245 00:34:01,005 --> 00:34:04,202 Customers won't understand the functionality of our product. 246 00:34:04,308 --> 00:34:05,468 Well spoken! 247 00:34:05,643 --> 00:34:06,769 It's aspirin, right? 248 00:34:06,944 --> 00:34:09,777 Does it have any other function than relieving headaches? 249 00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:13,146 It has various components. 250 00:34:13,251 --> 00:34:15,242 Like what? For example? 251 00:34:15,586 --> 00:34:17,816 For example, like... 252 00:34:17,922 --> 00:34:22,757 Whatchamacallit pie ring... What's the name again? 253 00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:23,656 Isopropylantipyrine. 254 00:34:23,795 --> 00:34:25,387 See. Pro, pro, propylanti... 255 00:34:25,563 --> 00:34:27,724 If you don't understand... 256 00:34:27,965 --> 00:34:31,560 the customer will get lost in the technobabble. 257 00:34:32,570 --> 00:34:37,098 Commercials must be entertaining. Otherwise, no one will watch. 258 00:34:37,508 --> 00:34:40,477 Simple one-sided, corporate masturbation is... 259 00:34:42,180 --> 00:34:43,807 Masturbation? 260 00:34:45,183 --> 00:34:47,048 We're the ones sporting the bill. 261 00:34:47,985 --> 00:34:52,319 Then you're wasting your money on boring commercials. 262 00:34:57,261 --> 00:34:59,195 President, the phone. 263 00:34:59,697 --> 00:35:00,527 I said "no calls!" 264 00:35:00,731 --> 00:35:03,097 It's your wife and it's urgent... 265 00:35:05,002 --> 00:35:05,934 Yeah. Yeah. 266 00:35:09,373 --> 00:35:11,398 60 or 100 watt? 267 00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:16,743 I told you I haven't the faintest... 268 00:35:17,415 --> 00:35:20,407 Anyway... Take a look... 269 00:35:21,285 --> 00:35:23,753 What? You can't reach it? 270 00:35:24,222 --> 00:35:28,886 So pull a chair over there... That a girl... 271 00:35:29,026 --> 00:35:30,823 You think I'm smart? 272 00:35:32,263 --> 00:35:35,255 Is this place Poorsville or what? 273 00:35:35,399 --> 00:35:39,392 That's why I said the house next door was better. 274 00:35:39,570 --> 00:35:41,595 They're all the same. 275 00:35:42,907 --> 00:35:44,898 Shirogane is the place. 276 00:35:45,409 --> 00:35:46,774 We're here so... 277 00:35:47,245 --> 00:35:50,874 You said we'd score here, limp dick! 278 00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:52,574 I never said that. 279 00:35:52,683 --> 00:35:53,707 Did so. 280 00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:54,876 No man, I didn't. 281 00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:56,510 Ouch! Stop it. 282 00:35:56,654 --> 00:35:57,643 My, my, my balls! 283 00:35:59,323 --> 00:36:02,656 Ouch! You're crushing my ribs. 284 00:36:02,793 --> 00:36:03,885 My ribs... 285 00:36:05,296 --> 00:36:06,263 Morishita? 286 00:36:08,032 --> 00:36:10,830 What, what? 287 00:36:11,669 --> 00:36:12,431 What's with you? 288 00:36:12,603 --> 00:36:13,729 Keep your voice down. 289 00:36:14,071 --> 00:36:15,095 Playing cards. 290 00:36:15,673 --> 00:36:16,435 Cards? 291 00:36:16,541 --> 00:36:19,510 Screaming over cards. Are you a kid or what? 292 00:36:19,744 --> 00:36:21,405 Let's play a hand. 293 00:36:21,512 --> 00:36:24,276 We ain't playing cards. What's with you? 294 00:36:24,415 --> 00:36:25,609 I dig cards. 295 00:36:25,716 --> 00:36:27,513 Don't you start too. 296 00:36:34,458 --> 00:36:36,153 Owch! 297 00:37:15,666 --> 00:37:18,032 May I have your name sir? 298 00:37:19,103 --> 00:37:20,195 Kobayashi. 299 00:37:20,404 --> 00:37:25,535 Mr. Kobayashi. What a wonderful, loving family you have. 300 00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:30,407 A beautiful daughter, handsome son and kind, loving wife. 301 00:37:32,049 --> 00:37:33,983 But we're broke. 302 00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:36,083 Butt out. 303 00:37:41,192 --> 00:37:44,457 Mr. Not-a-dime-to-your-name Kobayashi. 304 00:37:44,629 --> 00:37:46,096 I've got more than a dime. 305 00:37:51,902 --> 00:37:57,340 Mr. More-than-a-dime-to-your-name Kobayashi, it's challenge time. 306 00:37:57,475 --> 00:38:00,467 Please have a seat. 307 00:38:51,262 --> 00:38:54,789 Now I'm going to hypnotize you. 308 00:38:56,067 --> 00:39:04,475 If I fail, the 1 million yen is yours, Mr. Kobayashi. 309 00:39:04,875 --> 00:39:05,705 Okay. 310 00:39:07,645 --> 00:39:09,078 Here we go. 311 00:39:11,549 --> 00:39:18,387 Under my spell, you will become a bird. Please look at my finger. 312 00:39:19,223 --> 00:39:20,747 Do I have to? 313 00:39:25,896 --> 00:39:29,127 Closing your eyes or... 314 00:39:29,433 --> 00:39:34,132 not doing what I say is against the rules. 315 00:39:34,472 --> 00:39:35,439 Sorry. 316 00:39:36,874 --> 00:39:41,436 Now, look at my finger. 317 00:39:42,613 --> 00:39:47,312 On the count of three, you will become a bird. 318 00:40:36,233 --> 00:40:37,200 Mr. Kobayashi? 319 00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:43,836 Daddy? 320 00:40:57,988 --> 00:40:59,819 We won! 321 00:40:59,957 --> 00:41:00,855 1 million yen! 322 00:41:00,991 --> 00:41:01,855 No way? 323 00:41:54,144 --> 00:41:54,906 Evening! 324 00:41:55,679 --> 00:41:58,443 Who, who, who, are you? 325 00:42:01,385 --> 00:42:03,580 What is your function in life? 326 00:42:06,357 --> 00:42:08,951 Making chicks come. 327 00:42:11,695 --> 00:42:14,459 Just kidding! I'm a hypnotist. 328 00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:25,873 Otherwise, useless. 329 00:42:27,811 --> 00:42:31,247 You... hurt my feelings. 330 00:42:40,491 --> 00:42:42,686 Did you say 'sayonara' to your momma? 331 00:42:42,927 --> 00:42:43,723 What? 332 00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:46,295 Did you say 'sayonara' to your momma? 333 00:43:13,958 --> 00:43:15,858 That feels good. 334 00:43:22,333 --> 00:43:23,322 One more. 335 00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,376 My dad's still a bird! 336 00:43:39,683 --> 00:43:41,617 Undo the hypnotism! 337 00:43:42,853 --> 00:43:44,377 I can't... Sorry... 338 00:43:44,555 --> 00:43:45,579 Hey! 339 00:44:08,846 --> 00:44:11,610 Yoko, why are you looking at your watch? 340 00:44:11,749 --> 00:44:17,119 No reason... What gives with that president? 341 00:44:17,287 --> 00:44:18,049 Hmm. 342 00:44:18,188 --> 00:44:21,316 Don't 'hmm' me. So it's rejected? 343 00:44:21,759 --> 00:44:22,555 Yep. 344 00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:24,287 Don't 'yep' me. 345 00:44:24,428 --> 00:44:25,827 What're you gonna do? 346 00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:29,261 Maybe change it a bit. 347 00:44:29,366 --> 00:44:30,958 Change what part? 348 00:44:31,535 --> 00:44:36,563 Maybe bring the joke factor down. 349 00:44:36,907 --> 00:44:39,899 Make the product easier to understand. 350 00:44:40,044 --> 00:44:40,840 I'm out. 351 00:44:41,478 --> 00:44:42,240 Huh? 352 00:44:42,379 --> 00:44:43,846 You change it, I'm out. 353 00:44:44,248 --> 00:44:45,306 How selfish. 354 00:44:45,416 --> 00:44:47,850 What's selfish about it? 355 00:44:48,085 --> 00:44:49,712 I mean it's selfish of them to... 356 00:44:49,820 --> 00:44:50,582 I'm getting out. 357 00:44:50,854 --> 00:44:51,946 Come on, Yoko. 358 00:44:52,056 --> 00:44:53,387 Out of the cab. 359 00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:56,052 Driver, let me off here. 360 00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:57,793 Yoko, wait... 361 00:44:58,095 --> 00:44:59,221 Hurry up. 362 00:44:59,863 --> 00:45:01,194 Stop and open the door. 363 00:45:01,298 --> 00:45:03,129 OK, OK... Move. 364 00:45:03,434 --> 00:45:04,799 Hurry up. 365 00:45:08,605 --> 00:45:09,731 Yoko. 366 00:45:11,275 --> 00:45:15,837 I won't change it. If they hate it, get someone else. 367 00:45:16,113 --> 00:45:19,446 And another thing, don't call me by my first name. 368 00:45:19,817 --> 00:45:20,613 Okay. 369 00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:25,111 Ready... go! 370 00:45:35,666 --> 00:45:36,963 I'm beat. 371 00:45:38,168 --> 00:45:39,328 Yippie! 372 00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:42,835 You suck! Damnit! 373 00:45:42,940 --> 00:45:43,668 Again. 374 00:45:43,774 --> 00:45:44,365 Okay. 375 00:45:44,508 --> 00:45:45,839 One more. 376 00:45:45,976 --> 00:45:46,840 Ready... go. 377 00:45:52,516 --> 00:45:53,710 Morishita! 378 00:45:54,518 --> 00:45:56,179 Why the J? 379 00:45:56,754 --> 00:45:57,948 No reason. 380 00:45:58,422 --> 00:45:59,116 Oh? 381 00:46:03,761 --> 00:46:05,661 Somebody's home! 382 00:46:05,763 --> 00:46:06,695 This is bad. 383 00:46:09,066 --> 00:46:11,057 J! J! J! 384 00:46:17,074 --> 00:46:20,043 J, you smell good. 385 00:46:37,561 --> 00:46:39,119 Call the hospital! 386 00:46:39,229 --> 00:46:41,094 What hospital? 387 00:46:41,198 --> 00:46:43,632 Anywhere. Just hurry! 388 00:46:45,702 --> 00:46:47,135 Daddy? 389 00:46:48,472 --> 00:46:50,099 Where's Daddy? 390 00:46:50,674 --> 00:46:51,766 Daddy? 391 00:46:53,277 --> 00:46:54,676 Daddy's gone. 392 00:47:08,192 --> 00:47:10,353 Daddy, come here. 393 00:47:11,528 --> 00:47:13,462 This way. 394 00:51:20,243 --> 00:51:22,643 Shouldn't he go to work? 395 00:51:25,148 --> 00:51:26,581 How could he? 396 00:51:27,050 --> 00:51:28,517 I'll worry about dad. 397 00:51:29,653 --> 00:51:30,711 Okay. 398 00:51:34,658 --> 00:51:36,717 Don't tell anyone at school. 399 00:51:37,060 --> 00:51:38,755 Like I would. 400 00:53:08,251 --> 00:53:10,651 What is your function in life? 401 00:53:11,054 --> 00:53:12,248 I have none. 402 00:53:21,765 --> 00:53:23,198 So who's the hit man? 403 00:53:29,439 --> 00:53:30,770 Don't be asking me questions! 404 00:53:31,141 --> 00:53:32,301 Don't be poking into my affairs! 405 00:53:32,709 --> 00:53:35,974 Isn't it pretty damn obvious? Does he look like a hit man? 406 00:53:36,112 --> 00:53:39,377 Does this boring fuck look like a killer? 407 00:53:39,950 --> 00:53:43,283 That's me, by the way. 408 00:53:45,188 --> 00:53:49,181 If he could get the job done, why the fuck would I fly here? 409 00:53:49,793 --> 00:53:51,385 Figure it out man. 410 00:53:51,528 --> 00:53:53,689 Don't ask me questions, you asshole! 411 00:53:53,964 --> 00:53:56,865 Keep it up and I'll hit you. 412 00:53:57,367 --> 00:53:58,561 I'll whack you. 413 00:53:58,969 --> 00:54:02,564 I'll hit you and kick you. And hit you and kick you again. 414 00:54:03,106 --> 00:54:05,165 I'll kick you in the balls. 415 00:54:05,642 --> 00:54:10,272 I'll grease you asshole. 416 00:54:10,614 --> 00:54:11,945 Did he say all that? 417 00:54:12,782 --> 00:54:17,651 Like you'd know? You don't even speak English! 418 00:54:19,656 --> 00:54:20,680 How much? 419 00:54:30,500 --> 00:54:32,297 How much? 420 00:54:33,470 --> 00:54:34,368 1 million yen. 421 00:54:34,871 --> 00:54:35,565 Done. 422 00:54:37,340 --> 00:54:39,604 But no punk gangsters. 423 00:54:40,510 --> 00:54:41,772 Punk gangster? 424 00:54:42,212 --> 00:54:47,514 Lately, when I make TV commercials I team up with overseas directors. 425 00:54:47,684 --> 00:54:51,176 I think their level is high. 426 00:54:51,888 --> 00:54:52,855 Level... 427 00:54:53,056 --> 00:54:55,581 Of professionalism. High but worth it. 428 00:54:56,059 --> 00:54:56,855 High... 429 00:54:57,060 --> 00:54:58,027 Quite. 430 00:54:58,795 --> 00:55:01,559 Get a foreign hit man. 431 00:55:03,066 --> 00:55:03,896 Foreign... 432 00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:07,636 You're the coordinator, so get coordinating. 433 00:55:08,071 --> 00:55:09,800 I'm paying enough. 434 00:55:11,107 --> 00:55:12,074 Can you do it? 435 00:55:12,809 --> 00:55:13,673 Do my best. 436 00:55:14,177 --> 00:55:17,613 Damn straight you will. 437 00:55:18,248 --> 00:55:19,306 Damn straight. 438 00:55:19,949 --> 00:55:21,314 I want results. 439 00:55:21,618 --> 00:55:22,949 Results... 440 00:55:26,990 --> 00:55:29,618 Do... him. 441 00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:31,559 I'll do him. 442 00:55:39,235 --> 00:55:40,327 How much? 443 00:55:46,242 --> 00:55:47,334 1 million yen. 444 00:55:47,811 --> 00:55:51,838 1 million yen. That's high. 445 00:55:52,015 --> 00:55:54,347 But he's a foreigner. 446 00:55:54,517 --> 00:55:55,245 So... 447 00:55:55,385 --> 00:55:59,651 So I brought him all the way from London. 448 00:55:59,823 --> 00:56:02,291 That ain't no reason. 449 00:56:03,593 --> 00:56:04,992 1 million, huh? 450 00:56:05,962 --> 00:56:07,759 Fuck it. Sorry. 451 00:56:09,699 --> 00:56:12,259 Can you hold on a minute? 452 00:56:16,639 --> 00:56:19,472 I'll cut you a deal. Please name your price. 453 00:56:19,909 --> 00:56:20,876 10,000 yen. 454 00:56:27,751 --> 00:56:29,013 He accepts. 455 00:56:29,152 --> 00:56:29,982 You sure? 456 00:56:52,475 --> 00:56:53,464 What's with that? 457 00:56:55,378 --> 00:56:57,812 I got attacked by a crow. 458 00:56:58,148 --> 00:56:59,342 A bird did that? 459 00:57:00,550 --> 00:57:01,278 Yeah. 460 00:57:02,385 --> 00:57:03,409 Did it hurt? 461 00:57:06,323 --> 00:57:10,259 Not much. Maybe I'm going overboard. 462 00:57:12,028 --> 00:57:13,325 You're bleeding. 463 00:57:15,031 --> 00:57:17,829 Crow beaks are sharp. 464 00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:26,742 Scary, huh? 465 00:57:26,910 --> 00:57:28,741 Pretty scary. 466 00:57:38,555 --> 00:57:39,920 Hypnotist Murdered! 467 00:57:51,234 --> 00:57:52,166 Welcome. 468 00:57:56,106 --> 00:57:57,004 Pako noodles. 469 00:57:58,675 --> 00:58:02,042 One order of pako noodles, right? 470 00:58:02,178 --> 00:58:02,974 Yes. 471 00:58:03,179 --> 00:58:04,111 Thank you. 472 00:58:05,849 --> 00:58:06,747 I love 'em. 473 00:58:07,817 --> 00:58:08,579 Huh? 474 00:58:10,020 --> 00:58:11,078 Pako noodles. 475 00:58:14,190 --> 00:58:15,316 Good choice. 476 00:58:44,321 --> 00:58:49,418 A person with a right side up and upside down face. 477 00:58:50,026 --> 00:58:52,551 The two faces fight. 478 00:58:54,230 --> 00:58:56,164 Yoko's Thought Up Commercial 479 00:58:58,635 --> 00:59:00,466 Italian burger meal. 480 00:59:00,603 --> 00:59:02,093 Stop selfishly ordering, asshole. 481 00:59:02,272 --> 00:59:03,432 Get the pako noodles, asshole. 482 00:59:03,606 --> 00:59:05,403 You had them yesterday. 483 00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:07,567 What's wrong with pako noodles? 484 00:59:07,744 --> 00:59:09,405 I wanna eat 'em everyday. 485 00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:10,843 You'll get sick of them. 486 00:59:10,981 --> 00:59:12,448 No I won't! 487 00:59:12,582 --> 00:59:14,914 Well, you listen to Ken Hirai everyday. 488 00:59:15,051 --> 00:59:16,109 I like Ken Hirai. 489 00:59:16,252 --> 00:59:17,981 Well I like pako noodles. 490 00:59:18,121 --> 00:59:19,952 Don't compare them to Ken Hirai. 491 00:59:20,123 --> 00:59:20,953 Same thing. 492 00:59:21,124 --> 00:59:22,022 No, it's not. 493 00:59:22,158 --> 00:59:23,420 Same thing, asshole! 494 00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,028 So they're the same. You got me. 495 00:59:35,005 --> 00:59:37,098 Now that's funny! I'll make a series. 496 00:59:37,273 --> 00:59:39,173 Yoko's Thought Up Commercial 497 00:59:41,478 --> 00:59:43,002 Rice or bread? 498 00:59:43,179 --> 00:59:44,077 Rice. Rice! 499 00:59:44,180 --> 00:59:45,044 Bread. 500 00:59:45,148 --> 00:59:47,207 Is bread all your face can eat? 501 00:59:47,317 --> 00:59:48,784 Leave my face out of it. 502 00:59:48,885 --> 00:59:50,409 Rice for me, honey. 503 00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:51,248 Rice, right? 504 00:59:51,354 --> 00:59:51,877 Bread. 505 00:59:51,988 --> 00:59:52,920 Stop it. 506 00:59:53,023 --> 00:59:54,012 You stop it. 507 00:59:54,124 --> 00:59:54,749 What the hell! 508 00:59:54,858 --> 00:59:56,257 Don't order me around. 509 00:59:56,359 --> 00:59:58,452 Whatta ya think of the music biz? 510 00:59:58,561 --> 01:00:01,530 Who cares! We're not talking about that. 511 01:00:01,631 --> 01:00:04,191 We never talk anyone. 512 01:00:04,300 --> 01:00:06,666 We're talking about rice or bread. 513 01:00:06,803 --> 01:00:07,735 Bread for me! 514 01:00:07,837 --> 01:00:09,236 What! 515 01:00:48,344 --> 01:00:50,574 What is your function in life? 516 01:01:14,671 --> 01:01:15,569 Hey uhhh... 517 01:01:23,313 --> 01:01:24,405 Can I get a light? 518 01:01:49,806 --> 01:01:52,070 Not from 'round here, are you? 519 01:01:54,277 --> 01:01:56,575 Nobody 'round here comes down this street. 520 01:01:59,883 --> 01:02:01,009 You know why? 521 01:02:01,851 --> 01:02:02,613 No. 522 01:02:02,819 --> 01:02:04,150 Wanna know why? 523 01:02:06,122 --> 01:02:07,589 'Cuz it's haunted. 524 01:02:10,193 --> 01:02:12,024 The ghost's a cop. 525 01:02:14,330 --> 01:02:16,389 Rides a patrol bike. 526 01:02:18,668 --> 01:02:21,136 Gets close and asks for a light. 527 01:02:22,205 --> 01:02:27,142 If you give it to him, you're done for. 528 01:02:30,780 --> 01:02:32,975 I'm kidding man! 529 01:02:34,050 --> 01:02:36,575 I had you huh? 530 01:02:36,753 --> 01:02:40,712 Hook, line and sinker. 531 01:02:40,890 --> 01:02:42,118 Huh? What? 532 01:02:42,225 --> 01:02:43,157 Light. 533 01:02:43,293 --> 01:02:44,055 Light? 534 01:02:44,194 --> 01:02:44,888 My lighter. 535 01:02:45,028 --> 01:02:46,290 Oh, your lighter. 536 01:02:49,065 --> 01:02:51,397 I had you huh? Hook, line and sinker? 537 01:02:54,003 --> 01:02:54,799 Lighter. 538 01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:00,866 I had you huh? Fooled you good. 539 01:03:00,977 --> 01:03:02,308 You going? 540 01:03:02,645 --> 01:03:04,738 So soon? Going, eh? 541 01:03:04,948 --> 01:03:06,882 Everybody goes. 542 01:05:25,822 --> 01:05:26,754 Hurry. 543 01:05:43,172 --> 01:05:43,968 Help me. 544 01:05:48,544 --> 01:05:49,374 Help me. 545 01:06:16,339 --> 01:06:17,237 What? 546 01:07:52,268 --> 01:07:55,533 Madame, this is hard to say... 547 01:07:55,872 --> 01:08:00,571 What? What is it? 548 01:08:02,578 --> 01:08:06,275 He seems to think he's a bird. 549 01:08:09,252 --> 01:08:11,413 I know that much. 550 01:08:18,861 --> 01:08:22,126 The cause seems to be hypnotism. 551 01:08:24,967 --> 01:08:27,231 I know that too. 552 01:08:28,838 --> 01:08:35,676 So how can you cure him? 553 01:08:36,946 --> 01:08:39,210 Don't ask me, Madame. 554 01:08:40,650 --> 01:08:41,674 Well Madame... 555 01:08:47,356 --> 01:08:49,017 Yamaguchi, take a look. 556 01:08:50,259 --> 01:08:52,659 A most unusual case. 557 01:08:54,096 --> 01:08:55,028 Umm... 558 01:08:55,164 --> 01:08:56,893 What do you reckon? 559 01:08:57,099 --> 01:08:59,192 An extremely curious case. 560 01:09:00,703 --> 01:09:04,469 Only a few like this have been reported. 561 01:09:04,974 --> 01:09:09,809 In 1968, a mid 20s Afro-American from Florida, William Oldman... 562 01:09:10,046 --> 01:09:10,740 Umm... 563 01:09:11,414 --> 01:09:12,176 Yes? 564 01:09:14,717 --> 01:09:19,950 How can I get my husband back to normal? 565 01:09:20,222 --> 01:09:23,680 That would be a medical waste. Right, Yamaguchi? 566 01:09:23,859 --> 01:09:25,326 An utter waste. 567 01:09:25,561 --> 01:09:26,323 Right. 568 01:09:26,529 --> 01:09:30,556 Let us keep your husband as a research sample. 569 01:09:32,435 --> 01:09:33,231 No way! 570 01:09:34,103 --> 01:09:35,468 She turned us down. 571 01:09:35,605 --> 01:09:36,503 That's a shame. 572 01:09:38,541 --> 01:09:40,600 This drawing here, Nakajima's. 573 01:09:41,611 --> 01:09:44,910 It's well... Great but... 574 01:09:46,415 --> 01:09:50,909 It's a little normal I guess. Yeah, too normal... 575 01:09:51,354 --> 01:09:55,290 But normal is good but... Well you know. 576 01:09:56,225 --> 01:09:58,250 Now Machida's drawing... 577 01:09:58,361 --> 01:10:00,659 It's well... Interesting, yeah... 578 01:10:02,131 --> 01:10:04,599 Hold it. Something just hit me. 579 01:10:07,236 --> 01:10:11,639 Well, the more I look at it, it's not so interesting... 580 01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:16,110 A bit normal I guess. 581 01:10:17,546 --> 01:10:19,343 What do you think, Machida? 582 01:10:22,685 --> 01:10:27,054 Not interesting at all, huh? Well, you know. 583 01:10:27,256 --> 01:10:29,952 But she said it was good. 584 01:10:31,193 --> 01:10:32,888 Kobayashi's drawing... 585 01:10:33,496 --> 01:10:35,327 It's well... Great... yeah... 586 01:10:35,464 --> 01:10:38,399 Fathers are like Superman to kids. 587 01:10:38,534 --> 01:10:42,300 Yeah, I can see that... Yeah, I get it. 588 01:10:43,606 --> 01:10:46,404 Kaneko, what's this? 589 01:10:46,609 --> 01:10:49,942 Mom always says that Dad loves women. 590 01:10:50,312 --> 01:10:54,271 Well, it's not normal. Great but... 591 01:10:54,583 --> 01:10:58,883 Uh, well, I don't like it. 592 01:11:00,322 --> 01:11:01,789 And Hoshino's drawing... 593 01:11:03,359 --> 01:11:06,795 Yeah... It's is difficult... 594 01:11:57,480 --> 01:11:59,345 What the hell? 595 01:13:11,620 --> 01:13:12,882 What the fuck? 596 01:14:13,415 --> 01:14:16,475 Now the icing. More and more. 597 01:14:16,652 --> 01:14:19,212 How fattening. 598 01:14:19,388 --> 01:14:21,413 More and more. 599 01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:32,532 I'm home. 600 01:14:35,571 --> 01:14:37,061 Where've you been? 601 01:14:37,439 --> 01:14:38,463 It's a secret. 602 01:14:50,286 --> 01:14:52,151 They said they understood. 603 01:14:52,288 --> 01:14:55,655 Do they really understand? But you said that before... 604 01:14:56,125 --> 01:14:59,253 Yeah, yeah. 605 01:15:00,829 --> 01:15:05,892 Yeah... Forget it. Anyway, just do your job. 606 01:15:11,440 --> 01:15:14,136 Working on Xmas Eve? 607 01:15:16,946 --> 01:15:17,935 Something wrong? 608 01:15:18,914 --> 01:15:20,745 Wrong to work on Xmas Eve? 609 01:15:21,283 --> 01:15:24,980 No, I just thought you looked stressed. 610 01:15:25,487 --> 01:15:27,284 You're working, right? 611 01:15:27,423 --> 01:15:30,358 Being a cabbie is my job so... 612 01:15:31,894 --> 01:15:33,452 So... 613 01:15:33,862 --> 01:15:40,563 It's OK for you but not for someone like me who makes commercials huh! 614 01:15:40,703 --> 01:15:42,398 I wouldn't say that... 615 01:15:42,538 --> 01:15:43,800 What're you saying then? 616 01:15:44,373 --> 01:15:45,465 Spit it out! 617 01:15:46,408 --> 01:15:47,807 Hurry up! 618 01:15:48,177 --> 01:15:49,769 So what're you saying? 619 01:15:49,912 --> 01:15:52,642 I was just... I'm sorry. 620 01:15:52,848 --> 01:15:54,475 I was wrong. 621 01:15:55,217 --> 01:15:59,119 I'll be more careful next time. 622 01:15:59,388 --> 01:16:00,252 You got me. 623 01:16:00,389 --> 01:16:04,223 I'm sorry. Forgive me. Sorry! 624 01:16:04,660 --> 01:16:07,959 Out of respect for my hair, forgive me! 625 01:16:08,097 --> 01:16:09,962 Sorry... sorry. 626 01:16:10,933 --> 01:16:12,457 Yoko's Thought Up Commercial 627 01:16:14,803 --> 01:16:15,667 Long day, huh? 628 01:16:15,771 --> 01:16:16,465 A drink? 629 01:16:16,572 --> 01:16:17,129 Nice idea. 630 01:16:17,706 --> 01:16:18,798 Two waters. 631 01:16:20,242 --> 01:16:21,573 Cheers! 632 01:16:24,513 --> 01:16:25,741 Woooow! 633 01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:26,879 And hoooooow! 634 01:16:27,116 --> 01:16:29,209 Water Does Your Body Good. 635 01:16:35,758 --> 01:16:36,747 Now that's funny. 636 01:16:49,671 --> 01:16:50,695 What's with that? 637 01:16:53,275 --> 01:16:55,266 I almost got raped. 638 01:16:56,045 --> 01:16:58,070 Raped? By a guy? 639 01:16:59,014 --> 01:16:59,810 Yeah. 640 01:17:01,083 --> 01:17:02,072 Okay? 641 01:17:03,152 --> 01:17:03,914 Is what okay? 642 01:17:04,820 --> 01:17:06,378 Your body and... 643 01:17:07,423 --> 01:17:09,891 "Almost" got raped. 644 01:17:10,325 --> 01:17:11,257 I see. 645 01:17:19,835 --> 01:17:20,927 Yesterday... 646 01:17:21,336 --> 01:17:22,394 I saw a crow. 647 01:17:22,771 --> 01:17:23,567 Again? 648 01:17:24,606 --> 01:17:26,631 You know, yesterday was trash day. 649 01:17:27,176 --> 01:17:29,303 I didn't know but anyway... 650 01:17:31,346 --> 01:17:34,577 A crow dropped a garbage bag in the middle of the road. 651 01:17:35,984 --> 01:17:36,848 In the road? 652 01:17:38,053 --> 01:17:40,146 Yeah, do you know why? 653 01:17:40,989 --> 01:17:42,286 No idea. 654 01:17:44,226 --> 01:17:49,254 Then a car comes and runs over the garbage bag. 655 01:17:49,431 --> 01:17:50,420 Yeah. 656 01:17:52,267 --> 01:17:53,962 Then the bag breaks open. 657 01:17:54,169 --> 01:17:54,931 Yeah. 658 01:17:56,738 --> 01:18:00,401 Then the crow eats what came out of the bag. 659 01:18:01,710 --> 01:18:02,677 Really. 660 01:18:19,595 --> 01:18:20,527 What's this? 661 01:18:29,037 --> 01:18:31,267 A crab and shrimp having sex... 662 01:18:32,174 --> 01:18:34,165 A new taste is born... 663 01:18:34,676 --> 01:18:36,075 A snack food commercial. 664 01:18:40,215 --> 01:18:42,240 Nose hair grows from lies. 665 01:18:44,453 --> 01:18:48,150 An alien who eats from his butt and poops from his mouth... 666 01:18:49,091 --> 01:18:50,991 Farts hit his nose. 667 01:18:57,533 --> 01:18:59,398 Not a soul in sight. 668 01:19:02,171 --> 01:19:04,503 Well, it is Xmas Eve... 669 01:19:08,510 --> 01:19:09,340 What? 670 01:19:09,711 --> 01:19:11,110 You're dark. 671 01:19:12,481 --> 01:19:14,346 Why so tan? 672 01:19:15,184 --> 01:19:17,118 Really tanned. 673 01:19:17,853 --> 01:19:19,844 Too tanned. 674 01:19:20,589 --> 01:19:22,648 Did you go on vacation? 675 01:19:23,058 --> 01:19:24,082 Nope. 676 01:19:24,693 --> 01:19:26,661 Why are you suddenly... 677 01:19:26,929 --> 01:19:28,624 Hitting the tanning salon? 678 01:19:28,764 --> 01:19:30,288 Nope. 679 01:19:30,532 --> 01:19:31,829 A tanning salon... 680 01:19:32,301 --> 01:19:35,031 is so not you. 681 01:19:36,305 --> 01:19:37,237 Jesus... 682 01:19:37,372 --> 01:19:40,739 Hey man! Are you nuts? 683 01:19:41,677 --> 01:19:43,440 This ain't no phone booth. 684 01:19:43,579 --> 01:19:45,103 Kawaguchi... Sorry. 685 01:19:45,247 --> 01:19:51,117 Hi... Come on... no, no, no, no. 686 01:19:51,253 --> 01:19:53,881 You love talkin' about sex. 687 01:19:54,523 --> 01:19:57,720 Huh? Hello? Hello? 688 01:19:58,894 --> 01:20:01,488 You've got a great body, J. 689 01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:05,631 Ah, thanks man. I work out. 690 01:20:05,901 --> 01:20:06,890 I thought so. 691 01:20:07,469 --> 01:20:08,595 Hitting the gym? 692 01:20:08,737 --> 01:20:10,102 No! I do pushups. 693 01:20:10,239 --> 01:20:10,933 Pushups? 694 01:20:11,073 --> 01:20:13,303 Everyday I do pushups. This is what I do. 695 01:20:18,247 --> 01:20:21,080 Fuck yeah! This is what I do. 696 01:20:43,038 --> 01:20:46,906 Morishita, why you so tan? 697 01:20:47,109 --> 01:20:49,168 Just drop it. 698 01:20:52,114 --> 01:20:53,638 New girlfriend? 699 01:20:55,517 --> 01:21:00,113 No, no, no, no, no... 700 01:21:00,289 --> 01:21:01,347 No, no. No way. 701 01:21:03,792 --> 01:21:04,759 Why not? 702 01:21:05,227 --> 01:21:06,319 Yeah? 703 01:21:08,597 --> 01:21:10,394 Girls and me don't mix. 704 01:21:11,700 --> 01:21:13,327 What do you mean? 705 01:21:14,770 --> 01:21:17,466 Years ago, my sister and I... 706 01:21:20,208 --> 01:21:21,106 What? 707 01:21:21,243 --> 01:21:22,005 You what? 708 01:21:22,210 --> 01:21:23,234 That's bad! 709 01:21:23,378 --> 01:21:24,106 Way bad! 710 01:21:24,246 --> 01:21:26,908 You and your sister! Way bad!! 711 01:21:27,082 --> 01:21:29,175 Hey, hey. What's bad? 712 01:21:29,418 --> 01:21:34,082 Lately, teenagers say 'bad' when they mean 'good'. That bad? 713 01:21:34,222 --> 01:21:35,280 The good meaning. 714 01:21:35,457 --> 01:21:36,583 Bad. Bad? 715 01:21:37,125 --> 01:21:39,787 I'm bad, you know it. 716 01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,863 I'm bad. Way bad. 717 01:22:26,541 --> 01:22:27,838 Deodorant commercial... 718 01:22:28,710 --> 01:22:31,110 A man with a canine sense of smell... 719 01:22:32,114 --> 01:22:34,776 He faints at the smell of his feet. 720 01:22:36,551 --> 01:22:40,817 A guy as big as a horse with a condom to match. 721 01:22:54,503 --> 01:22:55,993 Here we go. 722 01:22:56,138 --> 01:22:57,264 Dinner is served. 723 01:23:41,016 --> 01:23:43,610 To Daddy: Merry Christmas 724 01:23:43,785 --> 01:23:44,945 A shampoo commercial... 725 01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:47,714 A man who's sexual pleasure zone is his scalp... 726 01:23:47,956 --> 01:23:50,220 Every time he washes his hair, he faints in agony. 727 01:23:52,127 --> 01:23:55,790 When a girl's period gets close, she jumps sideways. 728 01:23:56,598 --> 01:23:57,963 Are F1 racers male... 729 01:23:58,099 --> 01:23:58,997 or female? 730 01:23:59,601 --> 01:24:01,660 Not another quiz? 731 01:24:02,704 --> 01:24:03,500 You betcha. 732 01:24:03,638 --> 01:24:06,698 Are F1 racers, male or female? 733 01:24:09,211 --> 01:24:12,442 You and your quizzes. 734 01:24:12,647 --> 01:24:14,274 J, entertain this guy. 735 01:24:14,516 --> 01:24:16,609 OK. F1 racers, huh? 736 01:24:16,852 --> 01:24:18,820 You betcha. Male or female? 737 01:24:19,187 --> 01:24:21,155 F1 racers, huh... 738 01:24:23,692 --> 01:24:25,785 This is a tricky one. 739 01:24:26,094 --> 01:24:28,824 The answer is male. Do you know why? 740 01:24:29,531 --> 01:24:32,125 Men are 'quick'? 741 01:24:34,069 --> 01:24:36,162 Close but no cigar. 742 01:24:36,638 --> 01:24:40,096 Because racing takes 'balls'. 743 01:24:41,076 --> 01:24:42,441 Balls? 744 01:24:42,878 --> 01:24:45,176 Balls. These! 745 01:24:56,858 --> 01:24:59,793 Maybe I should quiz that guy? 746 01:25:01,229 --> 01:25:03,094 Stop it, idiot. 747 01:25:03,298 --> 01:25:05,562 They look bad. Don't you dare. 748 01:25:05,700 --> 01:25:07,429 'Bad' meaning 'good' right? 749 01:25:07,636 --> 01:25:09,763 Seriously, don't do it. 750 01:25:10,505 --> 01:25:15,442 Excuse me but are F1 racers, male or female? 751 01:25:31,693 --> 01:25:36,653 I'm feeling really good right now in this sauna. 752 01:25:37,165 --> 01:25:38,598 Please don't talk to me. 753 01:25:38,800 --> 01:25:41,564 Don't know the answer, do you? 754 01:25:41,970 --> 01:25:45,736 So which is it? Male or female? 755 01:25:56,918 --> 01:26:02,584 You mustn't ask me questions. You idiot. 756 01:26:04,192 --> 01:26:07,355 I knew it. Don't know, do you? 757 01:26:07,495 --> 01:26:10,931 Give up? Give up? 758 01:26:12,233 --> 01:26:16,499 The answer is male. The reason is... 759 01:26:18,340 --> 01:26:19,932 it takes 'balls'. 760 01:26:24,079 --> 01:26:25,546 Too bad. 761 01:26:25,747 --> 01:26:30,275 Next question. Is a bullet train, male or female? 762 01:26:40,462 --> 01:26:42,589 I told you no questions! 763 01:26:42,897 --> 01:26:47,357 Go back to your area. Get out! Damnit! 764 01:26:47,502 --> 01:26:49,936 No giving up this time. 765 01:26:50,138 --> 01:26:53,699 So which is it? Male or female? 766 01:26:53,875 --> 01:26:55,775 Follow your instincts. 767 01:27:02,484 --> 01:27:04,952 You deaf? I said no questions! 768 01:27:05,120 --> 01:27:08,715 He's feeling good in the sauna. Stop botherin' me or I'll kill you. 769 01:27:08,890 --> 01:27:11,324 You... you homo. 770 01:27:12,227 --> 01:27:13,159 Are you a homo? 771 01:27:15,897 --> 01:27:16,921 We don't need homos. 772 01:27:35,316 --> 01:27:37,250 Is your friend a homo too? 773 01:27:38,286 --> 01:27:41,585 No! I ain't no homo... 774 01:27:53,735 --> 01:27:54,531 I'm gay! 775 01:28:24,833 --> 01:28:26,926 J! You okay? 776 01:28:39,814 --> 01:28:41,509 What is m-m-my function in life? 777 01:28:57,966 --> 01:28:59,490 An pain relief medicine commercial... 778 01:28:59,634 --> 01:29:01,932 A guy's head hurts so much it explodes... 779 01:29:02,070 --> 01:29:04,504 His brains fly BOOM, BANG! 780 01:30:03,698 --> 01:30:05,359 Wow! 781 01:32:47,295 --> 01:32:48,922 What's with... 782 01:32:49,530 --> 01:32:51,964 What an outfit. 783 01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:51,656 I'm so stupid. 784 01:35:30,625 --> 01:35:34,459 I wonder when he'll be cured. 785 01:35:36,130 --> 01:35:37,995 I'm on the verge of neurosis. 786 01:35:38,699 --> 01:35:40,724 Maybe by New Year's? 787 01:35:42,870 --> 01:35:46,362 Does Grandma know about Dad? 788 01:35:47,975 --> 01:35:51,433 I haven't told her. How could I? 789 01:35:52,246 --> 01:35:53,406 After all... 790 01:35:56,417 --> 01:35:58,510 we can't go visit her like this. 791 01:35:59,787 --> 01:36:01,652 No, we can't. 792 01:36:05,226 --> 01:36:06,318 This can't... 793 01:36:09,997 --> 01:36:12,056 go on forever, can it? 794 01:36:12,200 --> 01:36:15,601 Don't say such things. He'll be fine. 795 01:36:15,903 --> 01:36:16,767 I wonder. 796 01:36:16,904 --> 01:36:17,893 He'll be fine. 797 01:36:19,507 --> 01:36:20,565 I don't know. 798 01:36:24,979 --> 01:36:25,946 He'll be fine. 799 01:36:32,920 --> 01:36:33,716 Daddy! 800 01:36:47,802 --> 01:36:49,827 Why did this happen?! 801 01:37:01,482 --> 01:37:03,143 I told my friends. 802 01:37:05,186 --> 01:37:09,384 My dad is a dad but he's also a bird. 803 01:37:12,059 --> 01:37:12,991 Keiichi. 804 01:37:17,098 --> 01:37:21,660 Some kids laughed but... Kaneko said he was cool. 805 01:37:27,508 --> 01:37:33,310 "A bird-dad is just like an animation hero." 806 01:37:38,452 --> 01:37:42,855 "Can your dad fly?" I told him he will soon. 807 01:37:48,262 --> 01:37:52,926 It's cool with me. No matter what dad is. 808 01:38:15,723 --> 01:38:18,749 Everything changes. 809 01:38:21,629 --> 01:38:26,157 Dad being a bird really hinges on our perspective. 810 01:38:28,669 --> 01:38:31,160 Dad merely changed. 811 01:38:32,473 --> 01:38:34,941 Next, we have to change. 812 01:38:36,977 --> 01:38:40,003 Having a bird-dad has advantages. 813 01:38:41,315 --> 01:38:43,613 We can't be sad forever. 814 01:38:46,420 --> 01:38:49,912 We should enjoy being with bird-dad. 815 01:38:50,958 --> 01:38:54,485 After all, life is short, right? 816 01:38:56,097 --> 01:39:00,295 It's no skin off my nose if I never eat chicken again. 817 01:41:36,590 --> 01:41:37,386 Hey! 818 01:41:37,591 --> 01:41:39,218 Sorry to bother you so late but... 819 01:41:39,627 --> 01:41:43,085 I'm going home and I wanted to say bye. 820 01:41:48,068 --> 01:41:52,368 Thanks to you, I was able to perform a most worthwhile job. 821 01:41:52,740 --> 01:41:57,541 And if there's any chance that I might be of service in the future. 822 01:42:03,150 --> 01:42:05,345 Thank you ever so much. 823 01:42:05,619 --> 01:42:08,349 Here's a small token of... 824 01:42:14,662 --> 01:42:19,190 I'm terribly sorry. It seems I've made a mistake. 825 01:42:19,300 --> 01:42:20,597 Don't sweat it. 826 01:42:21,268 --> 01:42:22,428 This won't take long. 827 01:42:24,271 --> 01:42:27,968 Of course, it will be no charge. This won't take long. 828 01:42:41,121 --> 01:42:41,883 Huh? 829 01:42:57,938 --> 01:42:58,700 Hello? 830 01:43:01,775 --> 01:43:05,643 I'm truly sorry. My mistake. 831 01:43:07,881 --> 01:43:09,473 This time I won't fail you. 832 01:43:09,717 --> 01:43:11,275 I said forget about it. 833 01:43:14,088 --> 01:43:15,919 Forget about it. 834 01:43:16,590 --> 01:43:17,648 Where are you?! 835 01:43:18,158 --> 01:43:20,490 I said forget about it. Stop! 836 01:43:24,665 --> 01:43:25,654 No need to worry. 837 01:43:25,799 --> 01:43:27,426 I'll be done soon. 838 01:43:27,568 --> 01:43:29,627 I said no. Forget it. 839 01:43:30,471 --> 01:43:31,768 We found her. 840 01:43:33,574 --> 01:43:34,336 Hold it! 841 01:52:18,298 --> 01:52:24,294 What... c-can I do for you today? 842 01:52:28,909 --> 01:52:30,604 That photo... 843 01:52:32,112 --> 01:52:35,275 Really nicely taken, huh? 844 01:52:40,220 --> 01:52:45,180 If you'd like, I'll give you one. 845 01:52:47,494 --> 01:52:51,931 H-Hold it. W-W-W-What are you doing? 846 01:52:54,801 --> 01:52:56,496 What are YOU doing? 847 01:52:58,805 --> 01:53:00,170 Me? I wonder. 848 01:53:14,988 --> 01:53:18,446 What? What are you doing? 849 01:53:19,226 --> 01:53:20,853 We're high up.53284

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