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00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,201
Subtitles by explosiveskull
Resync by GoldenBeard
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00:00:04,403 --> 00:00:08,539
(DRUMROLL)
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00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:13,046
(FANFARE PLAYING)
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00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,890
(MUSIC ENDS)
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00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,834
♪ Yes, I ride the lightning,
yes, I'm on the go ♪
6
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:40,337
♪ And when I go down slow,
I need more power now ♪
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00:00:40,339 --> 00:00:43,273
♪ It keeps me damn lucky,
yes, I just won't stop ♪
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00:00:43,275 --> 00:00:47,479
♪ I'm lit to pop, oh, yes,
I got the power now ♪
9
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:51,919
♪ ♪
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00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:59,190
♪ I got a secret
that I'm gonna tell ♪
11
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:03,294
♪ I'm feeling power
from the pit of Hell, yeah ♪
12
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:05,532
(SIREN WAILING)
13
00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:11,569
♪ The power's flowing
and it just won't stop ♪
14
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,104
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
15
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:16,074
♪ I touch a woman, make the
flesh burn hot, yeah ♪
16
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:19,713
♪ Want love to spread,
I think I'm gonna spread it ♪
17
00:01:22,047 --> 00:01:25,584
♪ The secret's easy,
now lend me your ear ♪
18
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,152
♪ Don't hesitate,
there's not a thing to fear ♪
19
00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:31,354
♪ Oh yes I ride the lightning,
yes I'm on the go ♪
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♪ And when I go down slow
I need more power now ♪
21
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(POUNDING)
22
00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:39,763
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
23
00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:42,033
Do you know how fast
you were going?
24
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,737
No, I don't, Officer.
25
00:01:44,503 --> 00:01:46,604
Turn that radio off, please.
26
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,908
That's not the radio.
That's the band practicing.
27
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,244
(SNIFFING)
28
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:55,378
Is that marijuana?
29
00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:56,513
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
30
00:01:56,515 --> 00:01:58,282
You got a party bowl up there?
31
00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,384
Mm, nah.
32
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:02,220
It's okay, it's okay.
Is it good?
33
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:03,220
(STRAINED) Mm.
34
00:02:03,222 --> 00:02:07,491
Yeah. Open it up!
I'm fucking boarding you!
35
00:02:07,493 --> 00:02:10,627
DRIVER: 5-0!
5-0 coming on board.
36
00:02:10,629 --> 00:02:12,797
Officer, you can't
just waltz on in here!
37
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,331
Do you know
who these guys are?
38
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:16,533
Unplug this shit right now.
39
00:02:16,535 --> 00:02:18,067
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
40
00:02:18,069 --> 00:02:19,539
No way.
41
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:21,972
No fucking way.
42
00:02:21,974 --> 00:02:24,942
♪ I got a secret
that I'm gonna tell ♪
43
00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:28,512
♪ I'm feeling power
from the pit of hell, yeah ♪
44
00:02:28,514 --> 00:02:30,548
♪ I got something to say ♪
45
00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,349
♪ I think
I'm gonna say it ♪
46
00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:33,553
Holy shit!
47
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:36,988
You guys are the highway cops
48
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,390
that got shut down
and became local cops.
49
00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,726
Then due to some
kinda crazy "incident"...
50
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,593
you got kicked off
of that force,
51
00:02:43,595 --> 00:02:44,961
so you started playing music.
52
00:02:44,963 --> 00:02:47,734
And before you knew it,
you won America's Got Talent.
53
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:50,067
You're Cracklin' Bacon!
54
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:52,402
What a long,
strange trip it's been.
55
00:02:52,404 --> 00:02:53,804
I love you guys! (CHUCKLING)
56
00:02:53,806 --> 00:02:55,705
Oh, I gotta tell my partner.
57
00:02:55,707 --> 00:02:57,307
He's not gonna believe this!
Okay, hold on.
58
00:02:57,309 --> 00:02:59,476
- Dude, you gotta get over here right now.
- WAGNER: Copy.
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00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:00,544
He's gonna shit his pants.
60
00:03:00,546 --> 00:03:01,679
MAC: You know what
would be hilarious?
61
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:02,780
When he comes on the bus,
62
00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:04,348
kick him in the nuts
as hard as you can.
63
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,016
- Really?
- Just drill the guy!
64
00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:07,785
What the hell
is going on in here?
65
00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:09,289
- (GROANS)
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
66
00:03:09,755 --> 00:03:11,288
(WAGNER COUGHING)
67
00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:13,159
(LAUGHTER)
68
00:03:14,159 --> 00:03:17,961
Oh, my God!
You're Cracklin' Bacon!
69
00:03:17,963 --> 00:03:19,864
You guys are my favorite band,
like, ever!
70
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,365
What? You didn't even know
who Cracklin' Bacon was...
71
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:23,434
until I played them
for you.
72
00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:24,502
Yeah, I did!
73
00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:26,037
Oh, really?
What's your favorite song?
74
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:26,904
"Pulled Pork."
75
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,605
- Yeah? How does it go then?
- Uh...
76
00:03:28,607 --> 00:03:31,476
♪ I'm gonna eat you
like a pulled pork sandwich ♪
77
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:34,579
♪ Get inside your bread
like a hot steak Manwich ♪
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00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,413
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
79
00:03:36,415 --> 00:03:37,882
This guy's got some pipes!
80
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,817
Hey, how would you like
to join Cracklin' Bacon?
81
00:03:40,819 --> 00:03:42,319
We're looking
for a new lead singer.
82
00:03:42,321 --> 00:03:43,488
Holy shit! (LAUGHING)
83
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,355
Yeah, oh, I can do it
better than him.
84
00:03:45,357 --> 00:03:48,158
♪ I'm gonna eat you
like a pulled pork sandwich ♪
85
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:52,263
♪ Kung Fu you
like a Jackie Chan-wich ♪
86
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:53,496
- (ALL EXCLAIM)
- Not bad.
87
00:03:53,498 --> 00:03:54,565
(LAUGHS)
88
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,067
You guys clearly
have the sound.
89
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,635
But do you have the moves?
Hit it.
90
00:03:58,637 --> 00:04:00,471
(BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
91
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:02,806
- Fist-pumps!
- (ALL CHEERING)
92
00:04:02,808 --> 00:04:04,876
- Pelvic thrusts.
- (BOTH PUFFING)
93
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,377
Shake your tail feathers.
94
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,679
- Shake that ass.
- (ALL CHEER)
95
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:08,779
Now kiss each other.
96
00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:09,948
I'm sorry. Come again?
97
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,615
Come on, rock and roll!
Rock and roll, baby!
98
00:04:11,617 --> 00:04:12,949
WOMAN 1: Do it!
MEN: Kiss him!
99
00:04:12,951 --> 00:04:15,353
(CHANTING) Kiss him! Kiss him!
Kiss him! Kiss him!
100
00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,658
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)
101
00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,491
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
102
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,393
(LAUGHTER)
103
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,727
I knew
you were fucking with us.
104
00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:25,028
You're fucking
with us, man!
105
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,830
All right, all right.
You guys clearly have
106
00:04:26,832 --> 00:04:28,165
what it takes
for rock and roll.
107
00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:30,267
But there's one more test
you gotta pass
108
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,869
before we let you
join Cracklin' Bacon.
109
00:04:32,871 --> 00:04:36,607
We wanna know if you can
keep up with Juicy Lucy.
110
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:37,741
(ALL EXCLAIM TEASINGLY)
111
00:04:37,743 --> 00:04:39,609
She looks
pretty juicy to me.
112
00:04:39,611 --> 00:04:40,710
Oh, no, she's
in the back, okay?
113
00:04:40,712 --> 00:04:42,748
But I warn you,
she can be quite a handful.
114
00:04:43,649 --> 00:04:45,148
Let's go handle that!
115
00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:48,419
ALL: (CHANTING) Juicy Lucy!
Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy!
116
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,757
About to get juicy up in here!
117
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,689
WOMAN 1: Hey, baby.
118
00:04:52,691 --> 00:04:54,058
Hello, Juicy Lucy.
119
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,794
Oh, that's not Lucy.
Lucy's better.
120
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,265
(CHUCKLES) Oh, man!
121
00:04:59,765 --> 00:05:01,398
Fellas, on the other side
of this door
122
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,635
is everlasting fame and glory.
123
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,705
You get the giney,
I'll get the hiney.
124
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:08,974
(BEEPS)
125
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,479
Say hello to Lucy! (YELLS)
126
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:14,347
(BOTH GROAN)
127
00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:17,549
Move it or lose it!
It's time to cruise it!
128
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,683
Let's do it!
129
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:20,184
(TIRES SCREECH)
130
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:21,518
Motherfucker!
131
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,957
(BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
132
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:27,224
(TIRES SCREECHING)
133
00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:29,061
(ALL CHEERING)
134
00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:31,095
(LAUGHING)
135
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:32,929
- Son-of-a-bitch!
- Crap damnit!
136
00:05:32,931 --> 00:05:36,200
We sang our hearts off
for those guys. Our hearts!
137
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:37,938
(SIREN WAILING)
138
00:05:41,306 --> 00:05:42,408
THORNY: We got company.
139
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,378
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
140
00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:48,148
(LAUGHING)
141
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,984
Can't outrun the law,
motherfucker!
142
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:56,619
♪ Don't hesitate,
there's not a thing to fear ♪
143
00:05:56,621 --> 00:05:59,556
Fuck you, Cracklin' Bacon!
144
00:05:59,558 --> 00:06:00,857
Whoa!
145
00:06:00,859 --> 00:06:02,061
(TIRES SCREECHING)
146
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,032
(OFFICERS SCREAMING)
147
00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:08,167
Oh, shit!
148
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,138
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
149
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:13,839
Motherfucker.
150
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,607
Eat it. Eat it.
Eat it. Eat it.
151
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,042
(GUNSHOTS)
152
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,143
- (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)
- (SHOUTING)
153
00:06:20,145 --> 00:06:21,413
Ah.
154
00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,984
(ALL CHEERING)
155
00:06:27,986 --> 00:06:29,852
Suck these
fucking bullets, bitch!
156
00:06:29,854 --> 00:06:31,424
- (GUNSHOTS)
- (GLASS SHATTERS)
157
00:06:33,325 --> 00:06:35,493
(GASPS AND WHIMPERS)
158
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:36,994
- (GLASS SHATTERS)
- (MUSIC STOPS)
159
00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,664
Oh, shit! Mac. Hey,
stay with me. Stay with me.
160
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:43,503
(WHEEZING) We almost got
those stupid cops...
161
00:06:44,669 --> 00:06:45,936
(CHUCKLES)
162
00:06:45,938 --> 00:06:48,074
- ...to kiss.
- Shit.
163
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,510
(SCREAMING)
164
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,846
What's that?
165
00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:56,015
What the...
166
00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:58,184
Whoa! (YELLS)
167
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:01,253
(OFFICERS SHRIEKING)
168
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:08,195
Shit!
169
00:07:08,693 --> 00:07:10,196
(SIGHS)
170
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,065
Hey.
171
00:07:12,964 --> 00:07:14,732
I still love those guys.
172
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:16,700
Yeah, they're cool as hell.
(CHUCKLES)
173
00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:18,201
I mean, look at him.
174
00:07:18,203 --> 00:07:19,205
Still cool.
175
00:07:20,839 --> 00:07:22,573
We should probably hide
that body, though.
176
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:23,577
Yeah.
177
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,980
Hey, great driving, Thorn!
178
00:07:27,412 --> 00:07:29,046
Thorny? Thorny?
179
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:30,780
Oh, my God! He's dead!
180
00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:32,215
- Oh, no!
- Ha-ha!
181
00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:33,784
- Aha!
- I got you, motherfucker!
182
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,152
(LAUGHTER)
183
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:37,891
- I'm not dead! I'm alive!
- He's alive!
184
00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:39,592
Look out!
185
00:07:40,325 --> 00:07:41,693
Holy...
186
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,129
(ALL YELLING)
187
00:07:44,296 --> 00:07:46,398
(ALL SCREAMING)
188
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,337
- (GRUNTS)
- (SCREAMING CONTINUES)
189
00:07:51,203 --> 00:07:52,504
(SHOUTS)
190
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:55,642
- Ahhh!
- (YELLING)
191
00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,444
(SHOUTS MANIACALLY)
192
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:01,414
(BOTH SCREAMING)
193
00:08:02,647 --> 00:08:04,080
- (FARVA LAUGHS)
- (SIGHS)
194
00:08:04,082 --> 00:08:06,150
You sleeping, baby boy?
195
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,385
No, I'm just checking out
the ceiling, Farva.
196
00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:09,520
Good work up there.
197
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:11,354
All right, pull out your caulk
and let's go.
198
00:08:11,356 --> 00:08:12,489
What?
199
00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:14,825
Let's go! I'm standing here
with my caulk in my hand.
200
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,326
Grab your caulk,
let's put it in the holes!
201
00:08:16,328 --> 00:08:17,595
Come on, let me see
that big caulk.
202
00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:18,695
Oh, shut up.
203
00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:19,996
Show me your Rabbit caulk!
204
00:08:19,998 --> 00:08:21,064
MAC: You know
what's funny, Farva?
205
00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,633
You've made that joke
400 times
206
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:23,801
and it still sucks.
207
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:25,001
Fuck you, Mac.
208
00:08:25,003 --> 00:08:26,436
You don't talk to your
site supervisor like that.
209
00:08:26,438 --> 00:08:28,539
That's one demerit
on your permanent record.
210
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,506
(GASPS)On my permanent
construction record?
211
00:08:30,508 --> 00:08:32,109
That's right. You want
another one, keep it up.
212
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:33,476
Yeah, give me another
and I'll pinch your dick.
213
00:08:33,478 --> 00:08:35,812
- That's two. You want to go for three?
- Okay.
214
00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:37,480
Bingo! You got it!
You want another one?
215
00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:39,149
- Pretty, pretty please.
- You got it!
216
00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:40,450
- You want another one?
- I'll take them all!
217
00:08:40,452 --> 00:08:41,786
That's seven!
You want another one?!
218
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:42,853
Give me ten!
219
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,220
Bingo!
220
00:08:44,222 --> 00:08:46,290
Mac! Stop.
221
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:50,061
You mess with the bull,
you get covered in bullshit.
222
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,265
(CHEWING LOUDLY)
223
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,500
- What a tool.
- Yeah.
224
00:08:57,502 --> 00:08:59,003
I had the craziest dream.
225
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:00,571
Who were the cops this time?
226
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:01,939
Stifler and Damon Wayans Jr.
227
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,074
Did they almost kiss?
228
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,976
Yeah. Yeah.
Almost got them to.
229
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:07,878
(COUNTRY MUSIC
RINGTONE PLAYING)
230
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,012
Uh, hello.
231
00:09:09,014 --> 00:09:11,715
- Morning, Mac!
- Good morning, Uncle Argyle.
232
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,685
Code names? Is Farva nearby?
233
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:15,920
Oh, yeah. Spitting distance.
234
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,187
Do me a favor,
spackle his mouth shut.
235
00:09:18,189 --> 00:09:19,523
MAC:
(LAUGHS) Okay, will do.
236
00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:22,659
So, change of location for
this weekend's fishing trip.
237
00:09:22,661 --> 00:09:24,295
Just over the Canadian border.
238
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,162
Oh, sweet! I love Canada.
239
00:09:26,164 --> 00:09:29,200
(CHUCKLES) Good one!
I'll mail you the address.
240
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,902
- What, like with a stamp? Just text me.
- Text?
241
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:35,340
Oh, you mean like,
uh, mail text? Yeah.
242
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,941
I do believe I have
that facility on this phone.
243
00:09:37,943 --> 00:09:39,343
Okay, will do.
244
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:41,311
That's it. I'm teaching you
how to text this weekend.
245
00:09:41,313 --> 00:09:43,013
- No personal calls, Mac.
- What the fuck?
246
00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:45,748
- Whoop.
- Oh, God damn it, Farva.
247
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,418
- I told you no personal calls.
- It was a sales call.
248
00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:49,720
Oh, yeah?
What were they selling?
249
00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:51,622
Ooh, was it canned salmon?
I love canned salmon.
250
00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:53,791
It's better than tuna,
you know. It's a salty fish.
251
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:54,892
I like a salty fish.
252
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,527
Like a grouper
or maybe a branzino.
253
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,595
Something that really
jerks off your blood pressure.
254
00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:01,132
You know what's salty? Turtle.
You ever had turtle before?
255
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,800
Saltiest part? The shell.
256
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,935
What do I have to say to get
you to end this conversation?
257
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,336
You could say,
"The guy on the phone
258
00:10:06,338 --> 00:10:08,104
was trying to sell me
hard dicks."
259
00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:10,007
The guy on the phone was
trying to sell me hard dicks.
260
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:11,908
I bet you bought
a baker's dozen. (LAUGHS)
261
00:10:11,910 --> 00:10:13,109
Let's lay some caulk!
262
00:10:13,111 --> 00:10:15,615
I got fresh caulk, everybody!
Hot caulk here.
263
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,681
Who wants caulk?
264
00:10:18,683 --> 00:10:21,218
MAC: He really wants to leave
right from work, huh?
265
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,223
RABBIT: He said,
"Real men travel light."
266
00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:29,162
(GRUNTING)
267
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,270
God, he looks ridiculous.
268
00:10:40,505 --> 00:10:42,306
No, I think
he looks pretty cool.
269
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,541
Like the Brawny
Paper Towel Guy.
270
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,210
See, I was gonna say
the Bombay Paper Towel Guy.
271
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,311
- RABBIT: Hey, Thorn.
- MAC: Hey.
272
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,913
Job sucks.
It's all sap and splinters.
273
00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:51,014
(MAC LAUGHS)
274
00:10:51,016 --> 00:10:52,649
Now it smells like Bombay.
275
00:10:52,651 --> 00:10:53,984
- You wanna put that shirt back on?
- Whew!
276
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,119
Breathe it in, little fella.
277
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,619
That's the smell
of a mountain man.
278
00:10:56,621 --> 00:10:59,156
Right. Okay, what time you due
back at the hobo zoo?
279
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,592
- (LAUGHS)
- (SIREN CHIRPS)
280
00:11:04,962 --> 00:11:06,229
Hey, hey!
281
00:11:06,231 --> 00:11:07,531
What's up, guys?
282
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:08,899
Nice ride!
283
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:10,133
RABBIT: Hey, Chief.
284
00:11:10,135 --> 00:11:11,438
Son of a bitch.
285
00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:13,970
- Ta-da!
- MEN: Hey!
286
00:11:13,972 --> 00:11:15,473
What's up, Foster?
287
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:16,541
He is all yours.
288
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,009
I'm tired of him riding
in my sidecar anyway.
289
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,543
That's not what
you said last night.
290
00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:22,079
OFFICER (ON RADIO):
Chief, we have a 214
291
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:23,614
out at
the Shuck n' Rack Motel.
292
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:24,715
Officer needs guidance.
293
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,349
- I'll be right there.
- OFFICER (ON RADIO): Copy.
294
00:11:26,351 --> 00:11:28,152
(SIGHS) I wish you guys
didn't get fired.
295
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:30,888
We weren't fired.
We were invited to resign.
296
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,255
- Ah.
- Ooh, I like that.
297
00:11:32,257 --> 00:11:35,057
No, you were fired. There was
that ride-along gone wrong.
298
00:11:35,059 --> 00:11:37,060
Then you were fired.
299
00:11:37,062 --> 00:11:38,662
We'll just have to agree
to disagree.
300
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:39,796
All right.
301
00:11:39,798 --> 00:11:41,998
Well, you fellas have fun.
302
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,234
Just get him back
in one piece, all right?
303
00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:46,637
With the rod. I'm gonna
need it next weekend.
304
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:47,704
Hello!
305
00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:48,672
That's my girl.
306
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,375
All right, boys,
let's go fishing.
307
00:11:53,411 --> 00:11:55,177
THORNY: And the beauty is,
the black is so black
308
00:11:55,179 --> 00:11:56,346
that it's really blue.
309
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:58,282
I mean,
it's really midnight blue.
310
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,082
Ah, just like
the old days, huh?
311
00:12:00,084 --> 00:12:01,417
Driving around
the countryside,
312
00:12:01,419 --> 00:12:02,987
listening to Thorny
talk about his dick.
313
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,922
- I miss the old days.
- RABBIT: That's bullshit, man.
314
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,523
That Fred Savage thing
was not our fault.
315
00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:08,325
Actors shouldn't
do ride-alongs.
316
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:09,926
Actors shouldn't even
try to play cops.
317
00:12:09,928 --> 00:12:11,662
I mean, (SCOFFS)
they never get it right.
318
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,664
(LAUGHTER)
319
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:21,205
- Hey, there.
- How you doin'?
320
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:23,540
Good. You boys here
for business or pleasure?
321
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:25,176
- Just going fishing.
- Good timing.
322
00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,777
You'll be up to yer tits
in the walleye.
323
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:29,146
I caught one last week.
Was seven kilograms.
324
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:30,580
Is that big?
325
00:12:30,582 --> 00:12:32,863
Is that big? That's like nine
decimeters from tip to tail.
326
00:12:33,785 --> 00:12:36,152
- You a jigger man?
- What did you call me?
327
00:12:36,154 --> 00:12:37,321
Well, I like to use
the jigger rod
328
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:38,622
for when I'm catching
the walleye.
329
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:39,923
But of course
when you're doing that
330
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,224
you gotta run extra light.
331
00:12:41,226 --> 00:12:44,128
Unless you're someone like
you there in the back.
332
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,963
- What are you, a bodybuilder?
- (CHUCKLES) No.
333
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:47,630
What do you bench?
Wait, don't tell me.
334
00:12:47,632 --> 00:12:49,365
I don't want you
to embarrass me.
335
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:52,569
- But I would like two tickets to your gun show. (LAUGHS)
- FOSTER: Ah, okay.
336
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:55,504
You guys are good to go.
Sorry to hold ya up.
337
00:12:55,506 --> 00:12:58,377
- Let them go!
- MAC: Thanks! Take her easy.
338
00:12:59,611 --> 00:13:01,744
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
Typical Canadian hardass.
339
00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:04,047
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT) "Sorry.
I'm really sorry. Sorry."
340
00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:05,748
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
"Oh, so sorry."
341
00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:07,750
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Hey,
fellas, any chance you can
342
00:13:07,752 --> 00:13:10,053
come over to the house later
and play some Sorry?
343
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,322
MAC: Sure.
How about nine o'clock?
344
00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:14,191
THORNY: Ooh,
nine o'clock doesn't work.
345
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:15,593
- Sorry about that.
- (LAUGHTER)
346
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,327
MAC (IN NORMAL TONE):
French ones are the worst. Ha!
347
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,428
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Would you
like some ratatouille
348
00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,731
with your pain du chocolat?
349
00:13:21,733 --> 00:13:25,268
Oui, oui! I'm gonna get
some jambon et fromage.
350
00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:26,705
(LAUGHTER)
351
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:29,505
THORNY: This can't be it.
352
00:13:29,507 --> 00:13:31,374
MAC: Well, this is the address
Cap sent me.
353
00:13:31,376 --> 00:13:34,109
Although he did just learn
how to text.
354
00:13:34,111 --> 00:13:35,345
Now what would compel somebody
355
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:36,714
to throw a tire
up on the roof?
356
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,215
FOSTER: What, you never played
"Throw the Tire on the Roof"?
357
00:13:39,217 --> 00:13:40,383
MAC: (LAUGHS)
No, is that the kind of shit
358
00:13:40,385 --> 00:13:41,551
you guys played in Rutland?
359
00:13:41,553 --> 00:13:43,923
FOSTER: Sure. Never got
"tired" of that game.
360
00:13:49,861 --> 00:13:52,428
(FLIES BUZZING)
361
00:13:52,430 --> 00:13:54,797
FOSTER: Uh, we are
in the wrong place.
362
00:13:54,799 --> 00:13:58,167
O'HAGAN:
No. You're in the right place.
363
00:13:58,169 --> 00:13:59,302
MAC: What's the deal
with the creepy,
364
00:13:59,304 --> 00:14:00,470
remote shithole, Cap?
365
00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:02,038
You gonna make us put
the lotion in the basket?
366
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,641
No, I've got a surprise
for you.
367
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,075
I didn't tell you up front
'cause you tend to be
368
00:14:06,077 --> 00:14:08,479
a bunch of
wide-mouth bassholes.
369
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:13,048
Well, then, why don't you let
me reel in these fish, John?
370
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:14,618
THORNY:
Governor Jessman?
371
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,119
Hey, I didn't see
the motorcade.
372
00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:18,656
- We're keeping my visit quiet.
- Mm.
373
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,023
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, Cappy, you dirty dog.
374
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:21,691
Show some respect, Mac!
375
00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:22,659
Sorry.
376
00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,561
I'm here
on official business.
377
00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:26,864
We've got
an intriguing situation
378
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,599
going on in these parts.
379
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,369
JESSMAN: With all the heat
on immigration these days,
380
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,036
the U.S. has been
going through
381
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,470
a border reassessment.
382
00:14:34,472 --> 00:14:37,273
It turns out that some
of the original stone markers
383
00:14:37,275 --> 00:14:39,442
that delineated
America from Canada,
384
00:14:39,444 --> 00:14:40,813
weren't where
we thought they'd be.
385
00:14:41,612 --> 00:14:43,714
Here is where the border was.
386
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:47,784
But here is where
we found the stone markers.
387
00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:50,521
So this town,
St. Georges du Laurent,
388
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,422
and the area surrounding it,
389
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:54,490
are actually on American soil.
390
00:14:54,492 --> 00:14:55,926
So we're going to war?
391
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:58,195
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Ah, gee,
that'd be a quick one, eh?
392
00:14:58,197 --> 00:14:59,428
(ALL LAUGH)
393
00:14:59,430 --> 00:15:00,898
No. After negotiations,
394
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,832
they've agreed
to turn the land over.
395
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:03,801
Vermont's about to get
396
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,636
- a little more head room.
- RABBIT: Hm.
397
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,305
So, it was up to me to find
398
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,773
a temporary police force
to help with the transition.
399
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:13,009
A group of officers
familiar with the border area,
400
00:15:13,011 --> 00:15:16,846
experienced in patrolling
a stretch of highway.
401
00:15:16,848 --> 00:15:20,883
Guys who maybe caught a bad
break the last time around?
402
00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:23,186
So, you fellas want
a crack at your old jobs?
403
00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:25,455
(ALL CHEERING)
404
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:28,925
Easy, you hooligans!
I'm a senior citizen!
405
00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:31,461
And if this two-week
assignment goes well,
406
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:33,297
I might be able
to make it permanent.
407
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,700
Trust us. It'll go well.
408
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,032
And who are you?
409
00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:38,869
Oh, I'm one of the cops.
410
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,671
We picked him up
outside of Home Depot.
411
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,505
Fantastic.
412
00:15:42,507 --> 00:15:44,575
You'll be phasing out
a Canadian Mountie unit.
413
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,777
We lined up a meet and greet
with them tomorrow.
414
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:47,779
(CAR HORN HONKING)
415
00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:50,480
Oh, yeah!
416
00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,682
I wanted to make sure you had
your full team back,
417
00:15:52,684 --> 00:15:54,618
so I tracked down
your other guy too.
418
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,985
(SIGHS) No fucking way.
419
00:15:55,987 --> 00:15:56,887
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Oh, no.
420
00:15:56,889 --> 00:16:00,356
Sorry I'm late.
Hit a moose doing 90.
421
00:16:00,358 --> 00:16:02,359
- Vaporized the beyotch!
- (O'HAGAN SIGHS)
422
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:03,826
FARVA: You know they have
Eskimo hookers up here?
423
00:16:03,828 --> 00:16:05,930
When they have sex,
they really get "Inuit".
424
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,663
(LAUGHS) Pelé!
425
00:16:07,665 --> 00:16:08,532
(GROANS)
426
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:09,736
MAC:
God damn it.
427
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:11,835
Farva, you fuck.
428
00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:13,003
Back in business!
429
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:15,408
- (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
- (TRIMMER WHIRRING)
430
00:16:36,093 --> 00:16:40,196
Bullshit! Who ordered these?
I can't feel my tits!
431
00:16:40,198 --> 00:16:41,500
(ALL LAUGH)
432
00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:05,888
Hey!
433
00:17:05,890 --> 00:17:07,323
Desk buddies, guy?
434
00:17:07,325 --> 00:17:09,560
Are you positive
you want to quit your old job?
435
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,528
I mean,
Construction Supervisor.
436
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,329
And give up the chance
to crack some Canuck melons?
437
00:17:13,331 --> 00:17:15,134
I don't think so, bro-haim.
438
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,801
♪ Welcome to the Fart Zone ♪
439
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:19,668
- (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
- FOSTER: Body armor, check.
440
00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:22,305
Tactical flashlights. Why not?
441
00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:24,440
Ooh, heat vision goggles.
Check.
442
00:17:24,442 --> 00:17:25,743
Why would we need those?
443
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:26,943
Uh, we're in Canada now,
Rabbit.
444
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:28,677
What if we have to find
somebody in the snow?
445
00:17:28,679 --> 00:17:29,745
Uh, there is snow in Vermont.
446
00:17:29,747 --> 00:17:31,481
Okay,
I'm the "order stuff" guy.
447
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:32,851
You do your thing. All right?
448
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:34,384
Okay.
449
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,788
One yellow safety vest
for Rabbit.
450
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:40,991
Woo! A roving
GPS triangulator.
451
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:43,459
Triangulator? Get a load
of James Bond over here.
452
00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:44,727
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
453
00:17:44,729 --> 00:17:47,164
Another yellow safety vest
for Thorny.
454
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,698
FARVA: Thorn, Thorn, Thorn,
Thorn, Thorn, Thorn.
455
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:52,369
Ram. Rod. Ram. Rod. Ramrod.
You're out, he's in.
456
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,370
Okay.
457
00:17:54,372 --> 00:17:56,706
O'HAGAN:
Hey, place looks great!
458
00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,074
MAC: What have you
been cleaning, Cap?
459
00:17:58,076 --> 00:18:00,377
I'll clean your clock
if you don't watch out.
460
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,880
Okay, let's get started.
461
00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:04,446
Don't push it, Mac.
462
00:18:04,448 --> 00:18:05,916
Get started
doing some pullovers?
463
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,250
No, we're not doing
your pullovers.
464
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,553
Everything will be
by the book.
465
00:18:09,353 --> 00:18:10,655
Everything!
466
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,724
Cap, you know how hard
I worked on this thing?
467
00:18:15,726 --> 00:18:17,526
Big face, big mustache.
468
00:18:17,528 --> 00:18:19,329
I don't care how big
your face is. Shave it!
469
00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:20,397
FARVA:
Cap, Cap, Cap, Cap!
470
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,464
I'm good, right?
471
00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:23,532
I got a tight mouth-muff.
(EXHALES)
472
00:18:23,534 --> 00:18:26,269
- Talk about big faces.
- That's face-ism, Cap.
473
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,138
Not regulation! Shave it!
474
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:31,041
Right! Let's go
and see some Mounties.
475
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:34,981
(CHUCKLES) Remember the three
B's: Best Behavior, Boys.
476
00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:39,851
Hey.
477
00:18:41,152 --> 00:18:44,053
- How's it going?
- Feels like 1983 in here.
478
00:18:44,055 --> 00:18:45,588
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
Oh, there they are.
479
00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:47,590
I am Mayor Guy LeFranc.
480
00:18:47,592 --> 00:18:50,394
Mayor of Saint Georges
du Laurent, Canada!
481
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,663
Or, as it's about to be known:
482
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,398
St. George of Lawrence,
America. (CHUCKLES)
483
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,435
I don't know. I'm not so good
with American. Welcome.
484
00:18:58,437 --> 00:19:00,169
Uh, the Guy LeFranc?
485
00:19:00,171 --> 00:19:02,438
From the Montreal Canadiens
Minor League system?
486
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,875
The leading scorer
of the Halifax Bear Eaters?
487
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,743
Eighth most points
in CHL history.
488
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:09,111
Yeah, I know. Two points
behind Shotti Fitznugly.
489
00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:10,179
Look at this guy!
490
00:19:10,181 --> 00:19:11,415
I love hockey.
491
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:12,782
Your nickname, um,
492
00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:14,517
don't tell me,
it was, uh, "The Explosion".
493
00:19:14,519 --> 00:19:16,387
"The Halifax Explosion."
494
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,420
Named after
the single greatest
495
00:19:18,422 --> 00:19:20,890
man-made explosion
before Hiroshima.
496
00:19:20,892 --> 00:19:22,591
It was 1917,
497
00:19:22,593 --> 00:19:24,026
ship laden with dynamite
498
00:19:24,028 --> 00:19:26,429
crashed into another ship
in Halifax Harbor.
499
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:27,997
Tremendous explosion
and loss of life.
500
00:19:27,999 --> 00:19:29,733
Burned people's eyes out
with the blast.
501
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,401
Many were blinded
by the light.
502
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:32,534
Like the song says.
503
00:19:32,536 --> 00:19:35,138
And a First Nations tribe
was lost.
504
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,639
Probably would've
happened to them anyway,
505
00:19:36,641 --> 00:19:38,207
- but it kind of moved up the timetable, eh?
- (ALL AGREE)
506
00:19:38,209 --> 00:19:42,178
So, I am the second biggest
explosion from Halifax.
507
00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:43,312
But enough about me.
508
00:19:43,314 --> 00:19:44,747
Meet the Mounties. Guys!
509
00:19:44,749 --> 00:19:46,949
Guys, come on over here.
510
00:19:46,951 --> 00:19:50,119
This here is Sergeant Major
Roger Archambault.
511
00:19:50,121 --> 00:19:53,823
This is Staff Sergeant Major
Henri Podein,
512
00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:56,392
and Sergeant
Christophe Bellefuille.
513
00:19:56,394 --> 00:19:57,694
Total gobbledygook.
514
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,597
I'm John O'Hagan.
This is Rod Farva,
515
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:03,567
Robbie Roto, Carl Foster,
MacIntyre Womack
516
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,369
and Arcot Ramathorn.
517
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,338
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
518
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,804
(MOUNTIES LAUGH)
519
00:20:08,806 --> 00:20:10,205
(IN ENGLISH) I'll let
you guys chew the cud.
520
00:20:10,207 --> 00:20:11,707
Why don't we go fuck off
to the other room here?
521
00:20:11,709 --> 00:20:14,011
- Yeah, sure.
- (DOOR OPENS)
522
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,078
(DOOR CLOSES)
523
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,384
I'm gonna get a Schlitz!
That's American for beer.
524
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,719
So, you do guys
ride horses or...
525
00:20:23,721 --> 00:20:25,288
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
Yeah, this isn't 1957.
526
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:26,823
We drive Crown Victorias.
527
00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,657
Hey, us too.
You get a little soup in them,
528
00:20:28,659 --> 00:20:31,026
they can really rip
your knob off. Am I right?
529
00:20:31,028 --> 00:20:32,028
(SPITS)
530
00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:34,130
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
We hear about you guy, heh?
531
00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:37,433
Because first, you get your
highway station shut down.
532
00:20:37,435 --> 00:20:39,101
And then, you get kick out
533
00:20:39,103 --> 00:20:41,873
from your second job
because of this, uh,
534
00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:44,407
Fred Savage thing.
535
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,676
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
"Savage."
536
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,310
(IN NORMAL TONE) Makes it
sound intriguing, at least.
537
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,279
BELLEFUILLE (IN CANADIAN ACCENT):
So, what are you going to do here?
538
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:50,613
Go for the hat trick?
539
00:20:50,615 --> 00:20:51,947
(MOUNTIES LAUGHING)
540
00:20:51,949 --> 00:20:53,715
Well, we're actually hoping
to hold on to these jobs.
541
00:20:53,717 --> 00:20:54,818
(TROOPERS CHUCKLE)
542
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:56,719
What are you guys
doing after the turnover?
543
00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:59,590
Oh, they're transferring us
up to Labrador City.
544
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:00,657
- Oh!
- Cool.
545
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:01,992
BELLEFUILLE:
It's cool, all right.
546
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:05,494
Average winter temperature
is minus 18 degrees Celsius!
547
00:21:05,496 --> 00:21:07,129
Yeah, all you have
to do to convert
548
00:21:07,131 --> 00:21:10,567
is times two, add 32 and join
the rest of the human race.
549
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:11,667
Hey, Rookie,
550
00:21:11,669 --> 00:21:13,035
they got non-alcoholic Molsons
over here.
551
00:21:13,037 --> 00:21:15,370
Want me to get you
a half carafe? (LAUGHS)
552
00:21:15,372 --> 00:21:18,641
Oh, we got a rookie there?
They shave your nuts yet?
553
00:21:18,643 --> 00:21:20,377
Canadian tradition says
you got to shave
554
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,544
the rook's nuts,
otherwise it's bad luck.
555
00:21:22,546 --> 00:21:24,080
- You don't say?
- Bad luck?
556
00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:25,715
I'm actually not a rookie...
557
00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,184
Which one of you guys
has least seniority?
558
00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:29,584
- (TROOPERS MUMBLE)
- I mean, technically I...
559
00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:30,821
(CHUCKLES)
Shave this guy ball!
560
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,655
Come on,
shave both of his ball.
561
00:21:32,657 --> 00:21:33,823
(MOUNTIES COAXING)
562
00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:36,260
- Shave your ball, your dick.
- (ALL LAUGHING)
563
00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:38,860
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Hello,
hello! Welcome to Canada.
564
00:21:38,862 --> 00:21:40,664
I'm Genevieve Aubois,
565
00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:43,166
Cultural Attaché
of Saint Georges du Laurent.
566
00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:45,636
I will see that
things go smoothly
567
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,036
in the next few weeks.
568
00:21:47,038 --> 00:21:49,371
And please,
if you have any questions,
569
00:21:49,373 --> 00:21:51,043
don't hesitate to ask.
570
00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:53,478
(SMACKS LIPS)
571
00:21:54,978 --> 00:21:57,046
Keep heading north,
big fella.
572
00:21:57,048 --> 00:21:59,649
You don't look at the mantel when you're
poking the fire, you know what I'm saying?
573
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:01,484
- Right, guys? You know what I'm saying, right?
- Jesus, Farva.
574
00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:02,519
(FARVA LAUGHS)
575
00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:03,753
GENEVIEVE: Okay.
576
00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:06,423
Well, they are waiting for us
in the other room.
577
00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:08,792
So, please, suivez-moi.
578
00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:10,463
Who is waiting where?
579
00:22:12,630 --> 00:22:13,996
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
580
00:22:13,998 --> 00:22:16,334
(MARCHING DRUMS PLAYING)
581
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,810
Boy, I didn't know the whole
town was gonna be here.
582
00:22:29,814 --> 00:22:31,281
(MIC FEEDBACK)
583
00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:32,784
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
584
00:22:38,923 --> 00:22:40,157
- (CHUCKLES)
- Oh.
585
00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:41,124
(ALL LAUGHING)
586
00:22:41,126 --> 00:22:42,592
It's about my
mustache, right?
587
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:43,894
They're laughing
at my mustache?
588
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:46,795
Please, let's give a big
Canadian welcome
589
00:22:46,797 --> 00:22:49,599
to the Vermont Highway Patrol.
590
00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:51,900
(CROWD BOOING)
591
00:22:51,902 --> 00:22:53,235
GUY:
Hey, hey, everyone!
592
00:22:53,237 --> 00:22:54,504
Come on, guys.
They've come up here
593
00:22:54,506 --> 00:22:55,571
to tell us how great
it's gonna be
594
00:22:55,573 --> 00:22:56,872
for all of us
to become Americans.
595
00:22:56,874 --> 00:22:59,010
So, let them speak. Captain?
596
00:22:59,745 --> 00:23:01,744
Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
597
00:23:01,746 --> 00:23:04,214
- Bonsoir.
- (MIC FEEDBACK)
598
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:07,951
You know, this reminds me
of the story of the rabbi,
599
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:11,053
the priest,
and the Hindu in a canoe.
600
00:23:11,055 --> 00:23:12,621
WOMAN: Go blow yourself!
601
00:23:12,623 --> 00:23:13,889
(LAUGHTER)
602
00:23:13,891 --> 00:23:15,724
I'm Captain John O'Hagan. I...
603
00:23:15,726 --> 00:23:18,094
Yeah, eat it, you old donkey!
604
00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:19,061
(LAUGHTER)
605
00:23:19,063 --> 00:23:21,464
Hey, easy.
Hey, look, look.
606
00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:23,699
Technically,
we're all Americans, right?
607
00:23:23,701 --> 00:23:25,267
North Americans.
608
00:23:25,269 --> 00:23:27,804
Very little is gonna change
around here.
609
00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:29,038
Oh, yeah, right!
You're probably gonna tell us
610
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,473
we can't listen
to Rush anymore!
611
00:23:30,475 --> 00:23:31,907
Or the Barenaked Ladies!
612
00:23:31,909 --> 00:23:34,410
- (ANGRY CHATTER)
- Hey. Hey. Hey!
613
00:23:34,412 --> 00:23:35,712
People, people.
614
00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:37,647
I love Rush
and the Barenaked Ladies.
615
00:23:37,649 --> 00:23:38,848
You should listen to both.
616
00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:40,817
So, you are telling us
who to listen to!
617
00:23:40,819 --> 00:23:41,951
No, no. I'm just...
618
00:23:41,953 --> 00:23:43,019
And then that one's
gonna tell us
619
00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:44,454
we have to start
eating tortillas!
620
00:23:44,456 --> 00:23:46,825
- FOSTER: It's a common mistake.
- MAN 1: Bullshit!
621
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:48,692
Hey! Listen up.
622
00:23:48,694 --> 00:23:50,793
This is America now.
Like it or lump it!
623
00:23:50,795 --> 00:23:52,262
Repeat after me:
624
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:55,631
I pledge of allegiance
to the flag
625
00:23:55,633 --> 00:23:58,169
of the United States
of America.
626
00:23:58,704 --> 00:23:59,969
Learn the words!
627
00:23:59,971 --> 00:24:01,503
Learn the words!
628
00:24:01,505 --> 00:24:02,507
Fuck you!
629
00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:05,410
- (GROANS)
- (CROWD CLAMORING)
630
00:24:07,012 --> 00:24:09,081
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
631
00:24:10,114 --> 00:24:11,880
MAN 2: You don't even know
how to play hockey!
632
00:24:11,882 --> 00:24:14,417
(CLAMORING CONTINUES)
633
00:24:14,419 --> 00:24:16,852
I didn't think they'd see us
as an occupying force.
634
00:24:16,854 --> 00:24:18,420
Oh, my God!
Your eye.
635
00:24:18,422 --> 00:24:19,789
That might leave a scar.
636
00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:20,924
I was looking
too pretty anyway.
637
00:24:20,926 --> 00:24:22,090
(CHUCKLES)
638
00:24:22,092 --> 00:24:23,859
I can sew you up at my car.
639
00:24:23,861 --> 00:24:25,026
You're a doctor?
640
00:24:25,028 --> 00:24:27,128
No, no. I coach
the girls' hockey team,
641
00:24:27,130 --> 00:24:29,301
so I know my way
around a gash.
642
00:24:29,935 --> 00:24:31,067
Are you making a...
643
00:24:31,069 --> 00:24:34,771
Oui . A double entendre
for la vagine.
644
00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:36,372
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
645
00:24:36,374 --> 00:24:38,474
Let's go, quickly!
646
00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:40,810
THORNY: I thought Canadians
are supposed to be harmless.
647
00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:42,579
Oh, come on.
Cut them some slack.
648
00:24:42,581 --> 00:24:44,446
They're upset
about losing their identities.
649
00:24:44,448 --> 00:24:47,449
They called you an old donkey.
Doesn't that piss you off?
650
00:24:47,451 --> 00:24:48,818
Well, I don't love it.
651
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,186
Actually, I didn't sleep
at all last night.
652
00:24:51,188 --> 00:24:52,488
But we got a job to do.
653
00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:54,890
- Rabbit, how's your head?
- It's okay.
654
00:24:54,892 --> 00:24:59,263
That, uh... Genevieve,
she, uh, patched me up.
655
00:24:59,265 --> 00:25:01,363
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
656
00:25:01,365 --> 00:25:02,331
Oh, please!
657
00:25:02,333 --> 00:25:04,967
Frenchy had her eyes
on my thighs all night long.
658
00:25:04,969 --> 00:25:06,101
- Yeah.
- Did she, now?
659
00:25:06,103 --> 00:25:07,337
FARVA: Oh, yeah?
Keep laughing.
660
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,638
I bet you a buck I bang
the crêpe out of her first.
661
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:10,807
- (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
- Okay.
662
00:25:10,809 --> 00:25:12,042
Put your money
where your mouth's been.
663
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:14,778
Fuck the buck.
Loser sits on a cactus.
664
00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:16,978
No, loser gets a perm.
665
00:25:16,980 --> 00:25:19,916
No, loser cuts his
pinky-toe off with a shovel.
666
00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:21,517
Take that bet.
667
00:25:21,519 --> 00:25:23,520
- I suggest you take the bet, Rabbit. Really, honestly.
- Jump on it.
668
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:24,721
Please shut up, Farva.
669
00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:26,188
Okay. We have a deal.
670
00:25:26,190 --> 00:25:27,657
You heard it, right?
We have a deal.
671
00:25:27,659 --> 00:25:30,327
Oh, so, this is where they
keep the illegal aliens, huh?
672
00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:32,328
- (BELLEFUILLE CHUCKLES)
- Ah, welcome, Officers!
673
00:25:32,330 --> 00:25:33,964
Welcome to the guys
who stood around
674
00:25:33,966 --> 00:25:35,630
while people threw
hockey pucks at us?
675
00:25:35,632 --> 00:25:36,765
You gonna
come up here talking
676
00:25:36,767 --> 00:25:38,334
all that
"Make America Great" crap,
677
00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:41,170
you're bound to catch a face
full of Canadian tomato.
678
00:25:41,172 --> 00:25:42,539
O'HAGAN: Okay, okay.
Listen up.
679
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,507
Two of you are gonna ride
with the Mounties.
680
00:25:44,509 --> 00:25:46,341
They'll show you where
the bodies are buried.
681
00:25:46,343 --> 00:25:48,344
- BOTH: Not it.
- Actually, it is you two.
682
00:25:48,346 --> 00:25:49,411
(CHUCKLES)
683
00:25:49,413 --> 00:25:51,414
It's not our idea
of a good time either, fellas.
684
00:25:51,416 --> 00:25:53,953
Personally, I'd rather
fuck a moose.
685
00:25:54,852 --> 00:25:56,552
You would need a ladder
to do that.
686
00:25:56,554 --> 00:25:59,955
Obviously, I would need
a ladder to fuck a moose.
687
00:25:59,957 --> 00:26:02,926
But I would find one,
and I would fuck that moose.
688
00:26:02,928 --> 00:26:04,093
O'HAGAN:
Okay!
689
00:26:04,095 --> 00:26:06,596
Thorny, Rabbit,
I got a highway job for you.
690
00:26:06,598 --> 00:26:07,599
Let's do it!
691
00:26:11,969 --> 00:26:13,668
FARVA:
Hey, Cap? Cap?
692
00:26:13,670 --> 00:26:14,971
Whose car do I ride in?
693
00:26:14,973 --> 00:26:17,040
Why don't you
stay here with me?
694
00:26:17,042 --> 00:26:18,640
Sit over here.
695
00:26:18,642 --> 00:26:20,011
That's the radio, though.
696
00:26:20,411 --> 00:26:21,378
Great idea!
697
00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:24,813
That way, if a call comes in,
you can answer it.
698
00:26:24,815 --> 00:26:26,081
Huh?
699
00:26:26,083 --> 00:26:27,484
(O'HAGAN VOCALIZING)
700
00:26:27,486 --> 00:26:30,052
Okay, just today, though,
okay?
701
00:26:30,054 --> 00:26:32,358
Everyone takes a turn.
It's a new station.
702
00:26:33,591 --> 00:26:34,657
(SIGHS)
703
00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:35,727
Fuckin' radio.
704
00:26:38,196 --> 00:26:39,598
What the fuck is this shit?
705
00:26:41,132 --> 00:26:42,732
I mean, it's not gonna
kill him, is it?
706
00:26:42,734 --> 00:26:45,070
I don't know. Do you
want it to kill him?
707
00:26:46,705 --> 00:26:47,803
BELLEFUILLE:
Allons-y!
708
00:26:47,805 --> 00:26:49,406
- (HORN HONKS)
- (SHOUTS IN FRENCH)
709
00:26:49,408 --> 00:26:50,674
Just a minute!
710
00:26:50,676 --> 00:26:52,042
Just a, uh...
711
00:26:52,044 --> 00:26:53,976
What's Canadian
for "minute"?
712
00:26:53,978 --> 00:26:55,613
(MUMBLES MOCKINGLY)
713
00:26:58,784 --> 00:26:59,983
Ah.
714
00:26:59,985 --> 00:27:01,520
There they are. Okay.
715
00:27:03,221 --> 00:27:04,255
Hm.
716
00:27:05,823 --> 00:27:07,191
(GULPING)
717
00:27:10,161 --> 00:27:12,861
Are you swallowing
M&M's whole?
718
00:27:12,863 --> 00:27:15,500
Yeah. The green ones
make me horny.
719
00:27:17,735 --> 00:27:19,301
Why don't you chew them first?
720
00:27:19,303 --> 00:27:22,073
(SCOFFS) They all go
to the same place, right?
721
00:27:25,409 --> 00:27:27,342
(SIGHS)
722
00:27:27,344 --> 00:27:29,011
FOSTER: (ON RADIO) Hey, Farva,
can I get a radio check?
723
00:27:29,013 --> 00:27:30,713
- (CRACKLING)
- (YELPS)
724
00:27:30,715 --> 00:27:31,717
(GROANS)
725
00:27:33,784 --> 00:27:35,819
(BOTH LAUGHING)
726
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:37,454
Why did you shock
your buddy, buddy?
727
00:27:37,456 --> 00:27:38,788
(LAUGHING)
728
00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:42,891
You know, every job has that
one guy that you love to hate.
729
00:27:42,893 --> 00:27:44,593
Yeah, obnoxious. Oafish.
730
00:27:44,595 --> 00:27:47,097
Oh, yeah, you mean like
your typical American?
731
00:27:47,099 --> 00:27:48,467
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
732
00:27:51,268 --> 00:27:52,703
Still waiting
on that radio check.
733
00:27:57,042 --> 00:27:58,776
- (CRACKLING)
- (SCREAMS)
734
00:28:00,211 --> 00:28:01,679
FARVA:
Fuckin' shit!
735
00:28:02,412 --> 00:28:03,980
This is an awesome assignment.
736
00:28:03,982 --> 00:28:06,582
Oh, come on, it's great.
Outside. On duty.
737
00:28:06,584 --> 00:28:10,352
Hey, what's 80 kilometers
per hour in English?
738
00:28:10,354 --> 00:28:14,057
I guess
49.7097 miles per hour.
739
00:28:14,059 --> 00:28:16,024
Uh, I don't think
we have any decimals.
740
00:28:16,026 --> 00:28:18,195
- Do you have a Sharpie?
- Uh, no.
741
00:28:18,197 --> 00:28:20,964
FARVA: Unit 23. Come in, 23.
Unit 23. Come in, 23.
742
00:28:20,966 --> 00:28:23,965
Radio, until the turnover,
we have to keep things metric.
743
00:28:23,967 --> 00:28:28,603
So we are now Unit 37.015.
Try again.
744
00:28:28,605 --> 00:28:29,539
Whatever.
745
00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:33,042
I got a call out
on Rue de Autoroute 77
746
00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:34,776
or some
Frère Jacques bullshit.
747
00:28:34,778 --> 00:28:37,179
There's a gaggle of dead
Canadian Geese on the road.
748
00:28:37,181 --> 00:28:39,282
Yeah, up here, they just
call them geese, Radio.
749
00:28:39,284 --> 00:28:41,384
Yeah, well, in two weeks,
I call them American Geese.
750
00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:43,185
Honk, honk. Go clean them off.
751
00:28:43,187 --> 00:28:46,891
That's a big 16.09-6436,
good buddy.
752
00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:51,359
Ah, ya,
there's the Pancake Shed.
753
00:28:51,361 --> 00:28:53,329
And that's the Flapjack's.
754
00:28:53,331 --> 00:28:54,496
Oh, there on the right,
755
00:28:54,498 --> 00:28:56,599
that's Gigi's Bait,
Tackle and Pancakes.
756
00:28:56,601 --> 00:28:59,202
- But they're really known more for their waffles.
- Yeah, they are.
757
00:28:59,204 --> 00:29:01,503
Sounds like the Queen
must really love pancakes.
758
00:29:01,505 --> 00:29:03,039
What's that supposed to mean?
759
00:29:03,041 --> 00:29:05,375
FOSTER: Aren't you guys still
ruled by the Queen of England?
760
00:29:05,377 --> 00:29:06,442
I mean, she's
all over your money.
761
00:29:06,444 --> 00:29:07,510
BELLEFUILLE:
I'll have you know that
762
00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:10,312
we achieved
our independence in 1982.
763
00:29:10,314 --> 00:29:11,580
- Ooh!
- Oh!
764
00:29:11,582 --> 00:29:13,215
- MAC: 1982.
- (FOSTER CHUCKLES)
765
00:29:13,217 --> 00:29:15,685
- Did Wham! perform at the ceremony?
- (LAUGHS)
766
00:29:15,687 --> 00:29:17,620
Maybe if we had
our independence sooner,
767
00:29:17,622 --> 00:29:19,588
we'd have no gun control,
not believe in evolution
768
00:29:19,590 --> 00:29:22,694
and all be morbidly obese
without healthcare.
769
00:29:24,362 --> 00:29:26,462
BELLEFUILLE: Why don't you
pull in right up here?
770
00:29:26,464 --> 00:29:28,867
Time for you to meet
the local business owners.
771
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:48,917
Escorts?
772
00:29:48,919 --> 00:29:50,253
BELLEFUILLE:
Here we are, boys.
773
00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:52,021
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
774
00:29:52,023 --> 00:29:53,225
(GREETS IN FRENCH)
775
00:29:56,627 --> 00:29:58,494
Are we here
to bust up a cat-house?
776
00:29:58,496 --> 00:30:00,830
PODEIN: You can't arrest
people for having boners.
777
00:30:00,832 --> 00:30:02,264
It's legal up here, Yank.
778
00:30:02,266 --> 00:30:04,466
A hockey-themed,
dual-sex bordello.
779
00:30:04,468 --> 00:30:06,101
Do we have that in the U.S.?
780
00:30:06,103 --> 00:30:07,703
I don't know,
but put me in, Coach.
781
00:30:07,705 --> 00:30:09,538
Oh, oh! Look who it is!
It's the fuzz.
782
00:30:09,540 --> 00:30:11,273
The Mayor hangs out
in a bordello?
783
00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:13,908
No, the Mayor
own the bordello.
784
00:30:13,910 --> 00:30:14,843
Here you go, boys.
785
00:30:14,845 --> 00:30:16,911
How about a beer and a tug?
On the house.
786
00:30:16,913 --> 00:30:18,648
- Hey!
- Oh, uh...
787
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:19,616
Uh, maybe later.
788
00:30:19,618 --> 00:30:22,385
Oh, I understand.
Scram, girls.
789
00:30:22,387 --> 00:30:24,986
- How's it going, eh?
- Yeah, no, no. Maybe later.
790
00:30:24,988 --> 00:30:26,188
You guys!
791
00:30:26,190 --> 00:30:27,590
You don't like women,
you don't like men.
792
00:30:27,592 --> 00:30:29,559
I mean, what should I get, a
river beaver to pleasure you?
793
00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:32,361
It's a joke. Their teeth are so
sharp, it would be horrible.
794
00:30:32,363 --> 00:30:33,597
How can I help you fellas?
795
00:30:33,599 --> 00:30:35,665
Oh, the Yanks want to talk
about their U.S. laws.
796
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,899
You know,
like serving weaker beer
797
00:30:37,901 --> 00:30:39,836
and shutting down brothels.
798
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,270
Shutting down
brothels?
799
00:30:41,272 --> 00:30:42,405
Who put you up to this?
800
00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:44,572
Was it Jean-Paul
down at Chez Poontang?
801
00:30:44,574 --> 00:30:46,109
Huh?
You guys pulling my chain?
802
00:30:46,111 --> 00:30:47,176
Look, I don't think
this is anything
803
00:30:47,178 --> 00:30:48,610
we need to get
too hung up on right now.
804
00:30:48,612 --> 00:30:49,978
I can't believe
down in the States,
805
00:30:49,980 --> 00:30:51,880
it's illegal to have a beer
and enjoy tits and a dick.
806
00:30:51,882 --> 00:30:54,250
I mean, beep beep!
807
00:30:54,252 --> 00:30:55,952
- There's no harm there.
- Oh. Uh...
808
00:30:55,954 --> 00:30:57,954
(IMITATING PUNCHING BAG)
809
00:30:57,956 --> 00:30:59,722
- Good workout, eh?
- Wow.
810
00:30:59,724 --> 00:31:02,524
Honestly, Guy, we're not
here to lay down any laws.
811
00:31:02,526 --> 00:31:04,693
We're very sorry if there's
been a misunderstanding.
812
00:31:04,695 --> 00:31:07,562
- "We're sahrry?" "Sahrry."
- (LAUGHTER)
813
00:31:07,564 --> 00:31:09,231
(CROWD MIMICS MAC MOCKINGLY)
814
00:31:09,233 --> 00:31:11,303
I'm sorry,
but that sounds stupid.
815
00:31:12,370 --> 00:31:14,436
- So sahrry.
- Sahrry.
816
00:31:14,438 --> 00:31:16,339
It's funny. I know.
817
00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:19,208
And what exactly
is your beef with our beer?
818
00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:20,708
Oh, I don't have
any problem with the beer.
819
00:31:20,710 --> 00:31:22,611
I mean, I think the limit in the U.S.
is what, nine percent?
820
00:31:22,613 --> 00:31:25,113
Nine percent? How are you
supposed to get drunk?
821
00:31:25,115 --> 00:31:26,482
I mean, you know,
822
00:31:26,484 --> 00:31:28,083
I think the idea is you drink
more of the weaker stuff.
823
00:31:28,085 --> 00:31:29,252
I bet it is.
824
00:31:29,254 --> 00:31:30,753
You Americans drinking
and eating everything.
825
00:31:30,755 --> 00:31:33,255
- Oh, no, you shouldn't.
- (BLOWS RASPBERRY) So fat.
826
00:31:33,257 --> 00:31:34,823
How about a little help
over here, huh?
827
00:31:34,825 --> 00:31:37,060
Yeah, I don't think we have
jurisdiction here anymore, buddy.
828
00:31:37,062 --> 00:31:38,528
Okay, all right.
829
00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:40,329
It's not like we're here to
"screw you" out of your rights.
830
00:31:40,331 --> 00:31:41,898
Darn tootin' you're not.
831
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:42,999
Okay, look, relax.
832
00:31:43,001 --> 00:31:44,266
Go away, you American pigs!
833
00:31:44,268 --> 00:31:46,503
(CROWD SHOUTING ANGRILY)
834
00:31:46,505 --> 00:31:48,003
- WOMAN: Go home!
- Oh!
835
00:31:48,005 --> 00:31:49,205
Take it easy.
836
00:31:49,207 --> 00:31:50,876
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
837
00:31:52,377 --> 00:31:53,976
Sorry about that.
It was an accident.
838
00:31:53,978 --> 00:31:56,111
(GRUNTING)
839
00:31:56,113 --> 00:31:58,316
♪ Round and round ♪
840
00:31:59,516 --> 00:32:00,718
MAN:
Get out of here!
841
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,356
- (GRUNTING)
- (CROWD EXCLAIMING)
842
00:32:05,189 --> 00:32:06,390
Get the fuck off me.
843
00:32:07,691 --> 00:32:09,593
Fuck you, motherfuckers.
Fuck you!
844
00:32:10,961 --> 00:32:12,463
(CROWD CHEERING)
845
00:32:13,631 --> 00:32:15,997
- DRIVER: Vermont sucks, eh!
- RABBIT: Thank you.
846
00:32:15,999 --> 00:32:17,367
See you later, sunshine!
847
00:32:18,399 --> 00:32:20,035
- BOTH: Stupid Americans!
- RABBIT: Cheerio!
848
00:32:20,037 --> 00:32:23,004
Okay, this job isn't as fun
as I thought it was.
849
00:32:23,006 --> 00:32:24,106
Arrogant American!
850
00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:26,375
The whole world's metric.
What's your problem, eh?
851
00:32:26,377 --> 00:32:27,676
Just doing our job, sir.
852
00:32:27,678 --> 00:32:29,445
You're 185 centimeters tall,
853
00:32:29,447 --> 00:32:31,582
you weigh 92 kilogram.
Get used to it!
854
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:33,582
Okay.
855
00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:36,418
Your authority don't mean
cheese up here.
856
00:32:36,420 --> 00:32:38,888
I can't tell if he's
calling me skinny or fat.
857
00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:40,122
FOSTER: (ON RADIO)
Officers requesting assistance
858
00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:42,091
at the L'Explosion Bordello
on Route Four.
859
00:32:42,093 --> 00:32:44,292
We are under assault
by hookers.
860
00:32:44,294 --> 00:32:45,593
Lots of them. Male and female.
861
00:32:45,595 --> 00:32:47,530
Copy, 91.
We'll be right there.
862
00:32:47,532 --> 00:32:49,532
Just as soon as we
finish taking selfies
863
00:32:49,534 --> 00:32:51,699
with the Victoria's Secret
Blow Job Team.
864
00:32:51,701 --> 00:32:54,204
I'm not kidding, Thorny!
There's too many of them.
865
00:32:54,206 --> 00:32:55,603
Will you get your dick
out of my face!
866
00:32:55,605 --> 00:32:57,372
I just... I got glitter!
867
00:32:57,374 --> 00:32:59,175
Glittering and...
Glittering and...
868
00:32:59,177 --> 00:33:01,342
I love it.
It's like we never left.
869
00:33:01,344 --> 00:33:03,378
(TIRES SCREECHING)
870
00:33:03,380 --> 00:33:06,448
What the hell?
Remote driver?
871
00:33:06,450 --> 00:33:07,651
Ghost car?
872
00:33:16,393 --> 00:33:18,360
We drilled that sign!
873
00:33:18,362 --> 00:33:19,563
They're kids.
874
00:33:20,165 --> 00:33:21,363
Give me those keys.
875
00:33:21,365 --> 00:33:23,499
Ow! No biting,
you little shitsky!
876
00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:24,567
What's your name, kid?
877
00:33:24,569 --> 00:33:25,968
Stranger danger!
Stranger danger!
878
00:33:25,970 --> 00:33:27,169
Where did you get the car?
879
00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:28,739
- Suck it, cop!
- (GROANING)
880
00:33:32,476 --> 00:33:34,076
Holy Christmas.
881
00:33:34,078 --> 00:33:35,544
Oh, my God.
882
00:33:35,546 --> 00:33:37,379
They're all hopped up
on goofballs.
883
00:33:37,381 --> 00:33:39,583
You can't catch me!
(YELLING)
884
00:33:40,384 --> 00:33:42,150
I'm gonna get my
bean bag gun!
885
00:33:42,152 --> 00:33:43,218
Show me where you got these
886
00:33:43,220 --> 00:33:44,387
and I'll let you
play with my Taser.
887
00:33:44,389 --> 00:33:45,623
Ooh! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
888
00:33:48,359 --> 00:33:49,558
THORNY:
We gotta be careful.
889
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,197
This is the kind of image
that could go viral.
890
00:33:53,296 --> 00:33:54,463
There!
891
00:33:54,465 --> 00:33:56,435
(KIDS GRUNTING)
892
00:33:58,503 --> 00:34:00,472
All right. Whoa,
whoa, whoa, boys.
893
00:34:01,238 --> 00:34:02,471
(KIDS YELLING)
894
00:34:02,473 --> 00:34:04,142
Stay! Stay.
895
00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:26,061
- What's up, Soapy?
- (WHISTLES)
896
00:34:26,063 --> 00:34:27,064
More pills?
897
00:34:29,334 --> 00:34:30,902
Did Apple change their logo?
898
00:34:32,235 --> 00:34:33,604
THORNY:
What have we here?
899
00:34:34,505 --> 00:34:36,405
(SNIFFS)
Cubans.
900
00:34:36,407 --> 00:34:38,173
Must make you feel
right at home.
901
00:34:38,175 --> 00:34:39,640
Good one.
902
00:34:39,642 --> 00:34:41,142
KID:
Pills, pills, pills!
903
00:34:41,144 --> 00:34:42,211
THORNY:
Oh, boy.
904
00:34:42,213 --> 00:34:43,849
(KIDS SCREAMING)
905
00:34:45,849 --> 00:34:48,184
Viva la revolución, baby!
906
00:34:48,186 --> 00:34:49,484
- Ay, ay, ay!
- FARVA: Ugh.
907
00:34:49,486 --> 00:34:50,986
You ever hear
of the Cuban Embargo?
908
00:34:50,988 --> 00:34:52,655
That embargo
is yesterday's news.
909
00:34:52,657 --> 00:34:53,923
Not for me it isn't.
910
00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:56,595
That's like sucking
Castro's cold wrinkled dick.
911
00:34:58,530 --> 00:34:59,762
Cuban cigars,
912
00:34:59,764 --> 00:35:01,763
counterfeit iPhones
and unmarked pills.
913
00:35:01,765 --> 00:35:02,999
We got something here.
914
00:35:03,001 --> 00:35:05,934
You boys stumbled
on quite a booty closet.
915
00:35:05,936 --> 00:35:07,068
A what now?
916
00:35:07,070 --> 00:35:08,838
Booty. Contraband.
917
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,773
What? They don't say
"booty" anymore?
918
00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:12,776
- Not really, no.
- Nah.
919
00:35:13,577 --> 00:35:14,709
Canadian counterfeit iPhones?
920
00:35:14,711 --> 00:35:17,044
We should call them
"A"-Phones, eh? Right?
921
00:35:17,046 --> 00:35:18,949
(DIALING)
922
00:35:20,117 --> 00:35:21,216
(LINE RINGING)
923
00:35:21,218 --> 00:35:23,619
(CELL PHONES RINGING)
924
00:35:23,621 --> 00:35:26,055
They all have the same number?
That's a rip-off.
925
00:35:26,057 --> 00:35:28,323
So, what pills do we have?
926
00:35:28,325 --> 00:35:29,591
Not sure.
927
00:35:29,593 --> 00:35:32,028
Five different kinds.
None of them have markings.
928
00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:33,195
Send them to the lab.
929
00:35:33,197 --> 00:35:35,330
I tried! The U.S. lab said
send them to the Canadian lab.
930
00:35:35,332 --> 00:35:36,432
The Canadian lab said,
931
00:35:36,434 --> 00:35:37,566
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
"Oh, ya, hey there.
932
00:35:37,568 --> 00:35:38,600
"Send 'em over
to the U.S. lab there."
933
00:35:38,602 --> 00:35:39,968
Maybe the Mounties
have some pull?
934
00:35:39,970 --> 00:35:41,604
- Boo!
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
935
00:35:41,606 --> 00:35:42,671
Fuck the Mounties!
936
00:35:42,673 --> 00:35:43,939
- Fuckin' Canada.
- Fuck that.
937
00:35:43,941 --> 00:35:45,740
For all we know,
this was the Mounties.
938
00:35:45,742 --> 00:35:47,742
Easy on the local cop
conspiracies.
939
00:35:47,744 --> 00:35:49,945
We'll solve
this case ourselves.
940
00:35:49,947 --> 00:35:51,546
I'll put a call
out to Montpelier,
941
00:35:51,548 --> 00:35:54,283
see if they can
line up a lab for us.
942
00:35:54,285 --> 00:35:56,519
Wah, wah!
I don't need some nerd
943
00:35:56,521 --> 00:35:58,201
in a lab coat
to tell me what this shit is.
944
00:35:59,691 --> 00:36:01,689
(EXCLAIMS, CRUNCHING)
945
00:36:01,691 --> 00:36:03,658
Sometimes even
I've gotta hand it to you,
946
00:36:03,660 --> 00:36:04,959
you weird son of a bitch.
947
00:36:04,961 --> 00:36:06,662
But why is it that
you chew a pill
948
00:36:06,664 --> 00:36:08,564
yet you swallow M&M's whole?
949
00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:10,934
I'm a complicated guy, Mac.
(CHEWS GUM)
950
00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:12,303
Okay. All right.
951
00:36:13,637 --> 00:36:15,504
See you boys
in the Renaissance Period.
952
00:36:15,506 --> 00:36:16,571
Huzzah!
953
00:36:16,573 --> 00:36:18,142
(ALL GULPING)
954
00:36:20,276 --> 00:36:22,079
(MOANING)
955
00:36:22,914 --> 00:36:24,981
(DRAWLING)
Can't move.
956
00:36:24,983 --> 00:36:26,716
My mouth's dry.
957
00:36:26,718 --> 00:36:28,249
What do you think,
like a heavy barbiturate?
958
00:36:28,251 --> 00:36:29,417
Maybe a muscle relaxant?
959
00:36:29,419 --> 00:36:30,852
You really can't move?
960
00:36:30,854 --> 00:36:33,821
I'm numb. I'm totally numb.
961
00:36:33,823 --> 00:36:35,360
- (SMACKS LIPS)
- MAC: Okay.
962
00:36:36,227 --> 00:36:37,593
What are you doing?
963
00:36:37,595 --> 00:36:38,693
- (GROANS)
- Oh!
964
00:36:38,695 --> 00:36:40,829
Fuck you, Mac.
I need medical attention.
965
00:36:40,831 --> 00:36:43,298
Side effects may include
fatness and irritability.
966
00:36:43,300 --> 00:36:45,069
I think it's a mood enhancer.
967
00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:47,903
(GROANS)
God damn it.
968
00:36:47,905 --> 00:36:50,305
- I know I'm in a better mood.
- (ALL LAUGH)
969
00:36:50,307 --> 00:36:51,372
Do we have
any more fly strips?
970
00:36:51,374 --> 00:36:52,874
I want to make him a headband.
971
00:36:52,876 --> 00:36:54,276
FOSTER: ♪ Three little
maids from school are we ♪
972
00:36:54,278 --> 00:36:56,512
♪ Pert as a school-girl
well should be ♪
973
00:36:56,514 --> 00:36:57,745
♪ Filled to the brim
with girlish glee ♪
974
00:36:57,747 --> 00:36:59,048
♪ Three little maids
from school ♪
975
00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:01,582
- That's gotta be speed, right?
- Absolutely.
976
00:37:01,584 --> 00:37:04,019
Wow. You seem kinda wired.
977
00:37:04,021 --> 00:37:05,988
I'm just psyched
to be back on the job!
978
00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:07,722
URSULA: Yeah, okay, well,
I knew you would be.
979
00:37:07,724 --> 00:37:08,791
Ooh, did I tell ya the oth...
980
00:37:08,793 --> 00:37:09,992
Oh, yeah, I got,
I got a triangulator.
981
00:37:09,994 --> 00:37:11,994
Why would you
need a triangulator?
982
00:37:11,996 --> 00:37:13,095
Why does everyone
keep saying that?
983
00:37:13,097 --> 00:37:14,930
- To triangulate, baby!
- (CHUCKLES)
984
00:37:14,932 --> 00:37:16,231
Hey, how come we never
go dancing anymore?
985
00:37:16,233 --> 00:37:19,167
When I get home, we're
gonna go fuckin' dancing.
986
00:37:19,169 --> 00:37:20,234
Okay. I can't wait.
987
00:37:20,236 --> 00:37:21,104
(HUFFING)
988
00:37:21,106 --> 00:37:23,539
FARVA: Rabbit, get
me some lemonade.
989
00:37:23,541 --> 00:37:26,041
Rabbit. Get me
some lemonade, please.
990
00:37:26,043 --> 00:37:27,008
(GRUNTING)
991
00:37:27,010 --> 00:37:29,544
Get me some
goddamn lemonade, rookie!
992
00:37:29,546 --> 00:37:31,814
Don't you call me rookie,
you fucker!
993
00:37:31,816 --> 00:37:34,082
I will fucking put my fist
right through your head!
994
00:37:34,084 --> 00:37:35,785
- I'm thinkin' 'roids.
- Absolutely.
995
00:37:35,787 --> 00:37:37,486
How about you?
You feel anything?
996
00:37:37,488 --> 00:37:40,155
Wet mouth. Sweaty palms.
997
00:37:40,157 --> 00:37:44,892
Moist ear canals. And I'm
just feeling emotional.
998
00:37:44,894 --> 00:37:46,664
- Hm. Okay.
- (TYPING)
999
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,167
I think you took
a Canadian female
1000
00:37:52,169 --> 00:37:55,970
sexual enhancement drug
called Flova Scotia.
1001
00:37:55,972 --> 00:37:58,472
"Made in Canada,
but banned in the U.S."
1002
00:37:58,474 --> 00:38:00,411
(MUSIC PLAYING ON LAPTOP)
1003
00:38:02,914 --> 00:38:04,579
FEMALE NARRATOR:
When the time is right,
1004
00:38:04,581 --> 00:38:05,916
but you're not.
1005
00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:08,917
Flova Scotia, eh?
1006
00:38:08,919 --> 00:38:10,218
Side effects may include
1007
00:38:10,220 --> 00:38:12,287
wet mouth, sweaty palms,
damp ears, moist groin,
1008
00:38:12,289 --> 00:38:15,925
varicose breasts, hair loss,
queefing, and bitchiness.
1009
00:38:15,927 --> 00:38:18,026
Flova Scotia, eh?
1010
00:38:18,028 --> 00:38:20,396
You can say "queefing"
on Canadian TV?
1011
00:38:20,398 --> 00:38:21,796
Ha! What a country!
1012
00:38:21,798 --> 00:38:23,564
What about you?
You're awful smiley.
1013
00:38:23,566 --> 00:38:24,767
I'm on acid.
1014
00:38:24,769 --> 00:38:27,003
Pharmaceutical acid?
Is there such a thing?
1015
00:38:27,005 --> 00:38:29,070
Don't know. But I do know
you have exactly
1016
00:38:29,072 --> 00:38:31,307
1,509 hairs in your mustache.
1017
00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:34,977
Close! 1,521. I had them
counted for my birthday.
1018
00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:36,812
- Really?
- Yeah.
1019
00:38:36,814 --> 00:38:38,448
- Really?
- Yeah!
1020
00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:40,749
(LAUGHS) I don't know
what to believe, Thorn!
1021
00:38:40,751 --> 00:38:42,651
- Okay.
- FARVA: Don't you do that.
1022
00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:44,119
I'm really looking
forward to this.
1023
00:38:44,121 --> 00:38:45,122
Well?
1024
00:38:46,055 --> 00:38:47,222
You guys come up
with anything?
1025
00:38:47,224 --> 00:38:49,825
Indeed we have some
very interesting leads.
1026
00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:51,225
Some of them
from that computer!
1027
00:38:51,227 --> 00:38:53,762
I think that we are
on top of this case.
1028
00:38:53,764 --> 00:38:55,296
RABBIT: We're gonna
find out who did this
1029
00:38:55,298 --> 00:38:58,001
and we're gonna stomp in
their stupid fucking faces!
1030
00:38:58,501 --> 00:38:59,769
Okay.
1031
00:38:59,771 --> 00:39:01,671
Well, the shack's a dead end.
1032
00:39:01,673 --> 00:39:04,138
It's on abandoned land owned
by a defunct mining company.
1033
00:39:04,140 --> 00:39:06,207
So, anyone could have
put the booty out there.
1034
00:39:06,209 --> 00:39:07,608
(LAUGHS)
1035
00:39:07,610 --> 00:39:08,979
Why you laughing, Guy Smiley?
1036
00:39:10,381 --> 00:39:12,250
(PSYCHEDELIC MUSIC PLAYING)
1037
00:39:13,483 --> 00:39:14,983
(MAC LAUGHS)
1038
00:39:14,985 --> 00:39:17,218
Okay, if we
stake out the shack
1039
00:39:17,220 --> 00:39:19,588
maybe we can catch
someone coming or going.
1040
00:39:19,590 --> 00:39:20,655
Let's get back out there.
1041
00:39:20,657 --> 00:39:22,992
(PSYCHEDELIC MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING)
1042
00:39:22,994 --> 00:39:25,227
Farva, hit the radio.
1043
00:39:25,229 --> 00:39:27,064
(SPEAKING JAPANESE)
1044
00:39:29,332 --> 00:39:30,334
(GONG RINGS)
1045
00:39:39,175 --> 00:39:40,642
O'HAGAN: (DISTORTED)
You hearing this?
1046
00:39:40,644 --> 00:39:42,477
Come on! Hit the radio!
1047
00:39:42,479 --> 00:39:44,048
Farva! Come on!
1048
00:39:46,450 --> 00:39:48,186
(GIGGLING)
1049
00:39:51,088 --> 00:39:53,222
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Uh-oh.
1050
00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:54,657
Woo-hoo!
1051
00:39:54,659 --> 00:39:56,425
I love grass!
1052
00:39:56,427 --> 00:39:58,193
I love life!
1053
00:39:58,195 --> 00:39:59,563
I love music!
1054
00:40:00,965 --> 00:40:02,597
RABBIT: Think puppies,
not steroids.
1055
00:40:02,599 --> 00:40:04,800
Think puppies, not steroids.
1056
00:40:04,802 --> 00:40:07,372
Smiling. Puppies.
1057
00:40:08,338 --> 00:40:09,573
(EXHALES)
1058
00:40:10,206 --> 00:40:11,342
Whew!
1059
00:40:15,878 --> 00:40:18,747
Bunnies! Bunnies!
1060
00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:20,483
Hi, bunny. Hi.
1061
00:40:20,485 --> 00:40:23,986
Rabbit. My name's Rabbit.
Oh, so cute little thing.
1062
00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:25,423
Bub, bub, bub, bub.
1063
00:40:31,461 --> 00:40:32,530
(CHUCKLES)
1064
00:40:35,832 --> 00:40:37,202
(CHUCKLES)
1065
00:40:37,867 --> 00:40:39,702
(LOUDLY)
Just stay there!
1066
00:40:39,704 --> 00:40:42,104
(PETS WHIMPERING)
1067
00:40:42,106 --> 00:40:45,740
- (CHAIRS WHIRRING)
- Feel the steroids melting away.
1068
00:40:45,742 --> 00:40:46,776
(MOANS)
1069
00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:48,843
Don't let the job
stress you out.
1070
00:40:48,845 --> 00:40:50,044
I love the job.
1071
00:40:50,046 --> 00:40:52,780
Doesn't stress me out.
Farva stresses me out.
1072
00:40:52,782 --> 00:40:53,981
Such a shame.
1073
00:40:53,983 --> 00:40:56,621
Why are the good-looking ones
always so obnoxious?
1074
00:40:57,621 --> 00:40:58,921
You think he's good-looking?
1075
00:40:58,923 --> 00:41:00,388
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
1076
00:41:00,390 --> 00:41:03,892
"The bigger the cushion,
the better the pushing."
1077
00:41:03,894 --> 00:41:06,095
- No.
- (CHUCKLES) No.
1078
00:41:06,097 --> 00:41:06,995
(LAUGHS)
1079
00:41:06,997 --> 00:41:09,265
I would rather have sex
with a baboon.
1080
00:41:09,267 --> 00:41:10,599
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1081
00:41:10,601 --> 00:41:11,600
It's funny though, huh?
1082
00:41:11,602 --> 00:41:14,436
We all have that one
horrible person we work with.
1083
00:41:14,438 --> 00:41:17,740
For me, it's my office manager
Lonnie Laloush.
1084
00:41:17,742 --> 00:41:21,175
Oh, he can be
such a "deeckwad".
1085
00:41:21,177 --> 00:41:23,278
- (CHUCKLES)
- What?
1086
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:24,345
It's just with your accent,
1087
00:41:24,347 --> 00:41:26,314
the way you say "dickwad"
is adorable.
1088
00:41:26,316 --> 00:41:28,649
No, but it's true.
He is a deeckwad.
1089
00:41:28,651 --> 00:41:29,718
(LAUGHS)
1090
00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:31,519
(BELLEFUILLE SPEAKS FRENCH)
1091
00:41:31,521 --> 00:41:33,689
First you steal our job
1092
00:41:33,691 --> 00:41:34,856
and now you sit here
1093
00:41:34,858 --> 00:41:37,294
gazing lovingly
into the eyes of our women.
1094
00:41:37,727 --> 00:41:39,260
Your women?
1095
00:41:39,262 --> 00:41:41,162
Well, maybe we should
take him in the back,
1096
00:41:41,164 --> 00:41:43,265
give him
Canadian handshake, eh?
1097
00:41:43,267 --> 00:41:44,265
What's that?
1098
00:41:44,267 --> 00:41:46,901
Let's just say it involve
a bag of hockey puck
1099
00:41:46,903 --> 00:41:49,437
and a lot of warm gravy.
1100
00:41:49,439 --> 00:41:50,606
Mm. Sounds delicious.
1101
00:41:50,608 --> 00:41:52,140
- (HORN BLARES)
- FARVA: Make way!
1102
00:41:52,142 --> 00:41:54,044
Hot soup coming through!
1103
00:41:54,878 --> 00:41:57,345
Oh, Canadian standoff, huh?
1104
00:41:57,347 --> 00:41:59,146
Oh, it look like
professor Stephen Hawking
1105
00:41:59,148 --> 00:42:01,015
has really let himself
go these days.
1106
00:42:01,017 --> 00:42:02,550
(LAUGHS BOISTEROUSLY)
1107
00:42:02,552 --> 00:42:04,320
(MIMICS LAUGHTER)
1108
00:42:04,322 --> 00:42:06,287
(IN ROBOTIC VOICE)
When God created Canada,
1109
00:42:06,289 --> 00:42:09,390
it was like
the universe farted.
1110
00:42:09,392 --> 00:42:10,291
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
1111
00:42:10,293 --> 00:42:12,160
Why do all the fat one
always ride around
1112
00:42:12,162 --> 00:42:13,528
on these little scooters?
1113
00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:15,664
You ever stop and think
that if you walk,
1114
00:42:15,666 --> 00:42:16,899
you might actually be thin?
1115
00:42:16,901 --> 00:42:18,436
(BLOWING WHISTLE)
1116
00:42:19,570 --> 00:42:20,801
Wow.
1117
00:42:20,803 --> 00:42:23,939
These pigs are harassing
the handicapped!
1118
00:42:23,941 --> 00:42:26,307
Everybody look.
Take a phone video!
1119
00:42:26,309 --> 00:42:31,046
- MAN: Hey! Leave him alone!
- Hey! This it is far from over.
1120
00:42:31,048 --> 00:42:33,314
- You want to go to TJ's Arcade?
- Oui.
1121
00:42:33,316 --> 00:42:35,316
I have some loonie
I need to break.
1122
00:42:35,318 --> 00:42:36,619
C'est bon.
1123
00:42:36,621 --> 00:42:38,454
(MUMBLES MOCK FRENCH)
1124
00:42:38,456 --> 00:42:39,957
Fuckin' Frenchies.
1125
00:42:42,059 --> 00:42:44,392
What are you two doing together?
Mall walking?
1126
00:42:44,394 --> 00:42:47,195
We ran into each other
at the pet store.
1127
00:42:47,197 --> 00:42:50,231
(CHUCKLES) Rabbit.
You shopping for a new gerbil?
1128
00:42:50,233 --> 00:42:52,968
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
1129
00:42:52,970 --> 00:42:54,937
Hey, Gwenevieve
how about the two of us
1130
00:42:54,939 --> 00:42:56,437
go over to
the Saskatchuan Palace
1131
00:42:56,439 --> 00:42:58,707
and get a wang dang doodle?
(CHUCKLES)
1132
00:42:58,709 --> 00:42:59,841
Uh, non.
1133
00:42:59,843 --> 00:43:02,276
Ooh, woof woof. Put a little
bark on that and I'll bite.
1134
00:43:02,278 --> 00:43:05,449
(SCOFFS)
Okay, I'm going to go.
1135
00:43:07,517 --> 00:43:08,850
It was great seeing you.
1136
00:43:08,852 --> 00:43:10,621
Don't leave on my account.
(CHUCKLES)
1137
00:43:11,555 --> 00:43:13,358
Uh-huh! Cocky, huh?
1138
00:43:14,492 --> 00:43:15,657
How about we up the bet?
1139
00:43:15,659 --> 00:43:16,957
There is no bet, Farva.
1140
00:43:16,959 --> 00:43:18,394
Okay, new bet then.
1141
00:43:18,396 --> 00:43:21,662
Loser not only cuts off
his pinky toe with a shovel,
1142
00:43:21,664 --> 00:43:22,997
he puts it in a blender
1143
00:43:22,999 --> 00:43:25,633
and drinks it in a smoothie,
toenail and all.
1144
00:43:25,635 --> 00:43:26,867
- (SCOFFS)
- Come on.
1145
00:43:26,869 --> 00:43:28,169
Shake it, don't mistake it.
1146
00:43:28,171 --> 00:43:29,637
You're serious?
1147
00:43:29,639 --> 00:43:30,805
Serious as a heart attack.
1148
00:43:30,807 --> 00:43:33,508
And I should know.
I've had two.
1149
00:43:33,510 --> 00:43:36,010
(SCOOTER BEEPING)
1150
00:43:36,012 --> 00:43:37,547
- Wow.
- FARVA: Pinky toe smoothie!
1151
00:43:42,485 --> 00:43:44,486
(LAUGHS)
1152
00:43:44,488 --> 00:43:46,657
- Somebody clean this up.
- (HORN HONKS)
1153
00:43:55,532 --> 00:43:56,899
Son of a bitch.
1154
00:43:56,901 --> 00:43:57,966
Hey!
1155
00:43:57,968 --> 00:44:00,070
Heat goggles have arrived!
1156
00:44:01,037 --> 00:44:02,472
Looking hot, Mac.
1157
00:44:03,206 --> 00:44:05,474
Hey, nickel plated cuffs!
1158
00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:08,843
Oh, shit.
These things are defective.
1159
00:44:08,845 --> 00:44:10,012
What's wrong with them?
1160
00:44:10,014 --> 00:44:11,213
They don't seem to lock.
1161
00:44:11,215 --> 00:44:12,914
Here. Let me see.
1162
00:44:12,916 --> 00:44:14,552
Here you go, Rabbit,
give me that hand.
1163
00:44:17,887 --> 00:44:20,055
- THORNY: I got mine to work.
- FOSTER: Maybe it's this one.
1164
00:44:20,057 --> 00:44:21,856
- Okay.
- Oh, yeah, that works. Okay, good.
1165
00:44:21,858 --> 00:44:23,124
Try the ankle ones.
1166
00:44:23,126 --> 00:44:24,359
THORNY: Oh, you always gotta
check the ankle ones.
1167
00:44:24,361 --> 00:44:25,628
FOSTER:
That's the most important.
1168
00:44:25,630 --> 00:44:26,495
And here we go.
1169
00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:28,162
(CHUCKLES)
You son-a-bitches.
1170
00:44:28,164 --> 00:44:29,664
You're not shaving my balls!
1171
00:44:29,666 --> 00:44:31,566
It would be an insult to our
Canadian hosts if we didn't.
1172
00:44:31,568 --> 00:44:33,436
I'm not a rookie anymore.
Get these off me.
1173
00:44:33,438 --> 00:44:35,003
Do you not want to be
an ambassador of goodwill?
1174
00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:36,539
No. I don't. Get these off me.
1175
00:44:36,541 --> 00:44:38,673
Rabbit, it's not like
we want to shave your balls.
1176
00:44:38,675 --> 00:44:40,242
Thorny, do you want
to shave his balls?
1177
00:44:40,244 --> 00:44:41,776
- Me? Hell no.
- Foster?
1178
00:44:41,778 --> 00:44:43,678
- No way.
- You don't wanna shave his balls, do you, Farva?
1179
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:44,879
Hell yeah, I do!
1180
00:44:44,881 --> 00:44:45,948
I even went out and bought
1181
00:44:45,950 --> 00:44:47,314
one of those
old-timey straight razors.
1182
00:44:47,316 --> 00:44:49,417
- No. No.
- Check this out.
1183
00:44:49,419 --> 00:44:51,419
- (CRACKLING)
- (SHRIEKS)
1184
00:44:51,421 --> 00:44:52,287
FARVA:
Jesus!
1185
00:44:52,289 --> 00:44:54,122
Goddamn Canadian wiring!
1186
00:44:54,124 --> 00:44:56,160
It's wrecking
my freakin' sperm count!
1187
00:44:56,827 --> 00:44:58,059
(FARVA GROANS)
1188
00:44:58,061 --> 00:45:00,495
Are you still taking
the Flova Scotia?
1189
00:45:00,497 --> 00:45:02,129
What part of
"side effects include
1190
00:45:02,131 --> 00:45:03,832
"queefing and bitchiness"
did you not understand?
1191
00:45:03,834 --> 00:45:06,600
Dude, the orgasms are
like a moonshot. (CHUCKLES)
1192
00:45:06,602 --> 00:45:08,169
You can't keep taking
female hormones.
1193
00:45:08,171 --> 00:45:09,537
It's gonna mess you up.
1194
00:45:09,539 --> 00:45:10,506
Jealous much?
1195
00:45:10,508 --> 00:45:12,140
Now who are you
orgasming with?
1196
00:45:12,142 --> 00:45:14,309
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
Her name is Quebecois Debbie.
1197
00:45:14,311 --> 00:45:17,345
Oh, Thorny, your cock,
she is so wide.
1198
00:45:17,347 --> 00:45:19,981
- (BOTH CHUCKLING)
- I'd fuck her.
1199
00:45:19,983 --> 00:45:21,050
(SCOFFS)
1200
00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:23,121
- Okay, let's shave this.
- Don't.
1201
00:45:31,863 --> 00:45:33,164
(BEAR GRUNTS)
1202
00:45:35,898 --> 00:45:36,965
THORNY:
Ready?
1203
00:45:36,967 --> 00:45:38,466
Seriously,
cut the crap, guys.
1204
00:45:38,468 --> 00:45:40,605
(INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER)
1205
00:45:43,706 --> 00:45:46,008
- O'HAGAN: Ahem!
- (FOSTER CLEARS THROAT)
1206
00:45:46,010 --> 00:45:47,575
There's a bear in the station.
1207
00:45:47,577 --> 00:45:50,312
Is that a euphemism
for something?
1208
00:45:50,314 --> 00:45:53,282
It's a euphemism for
there's a goddamn bear
1209
00:45:53,284 --> 00:45:56,753
eating slabs of raw meat
in the goddamn station!
1210
00:45:59,055 --> 00:46:01,356
(BEAR GROWLING)
1211
00:46:01,358 --> 00:46:03,024
- Yeah. Bear.
- Okay.
1212
00:46:03,026 --> 00:46:04,091
Where are the guns?
1213
00:46:04,093 --> 00:46:05,794
In the room with the bear.
1214
00:46:05,796 --> 00:46:07,028
Tear gas grenades?
1215
00:46:07,030 --> 00:46:09,030
- I just got a new delivery!
- There you go! Where is it?
1216
00:46:09,032 --> 00:46:11,499
In the room
with the guns and the bear.
1217
00:46:11,501 --> 00:46:13,434
What if we send Rabbit
out to fuck the bear
1218
00:46:13,436 --> 00:46:14,903
as a means
of distracting said bear?
1219
00:46:14,905 --> 00:46:16,370
- Yes.
- God damn it,
1220
00:46:16,372 --> 00:46:17,909
we've got to get
the meat out of there!
1221
00:46:19,376 --> 00:46:21,042
Fine, fuck it. I'll do it.
1222
00:46:21,044 --> 00:46:22,577
- I'll go with you.
- Really?
1223
00:46:22,579 --> 00:46:24,046
Yeah. What's the worst
that could happen?
1224
00:46:24,048 --> 00:46:25,213
You get mauled by the bear.
1225
00:46:25,215 --> 00:46:26,648
Or that bear
could get mauled by me.
1226
00:46:26,650 --> 00:46:28,416
- You ever think about that?
- No, I didn't.
1227
00:46:28,418 --> 00:46:29,484
Okay, here's the plan:
1228
00:46:29,486 --> 00:46:30,753
I'll go out there
and distract the bear,
1229
00:46:30,755 --> 00:46:31,619
while you get the meat
1230
00:46:31,621 --> 00:46:32,921
and get it the hell
out of the station.
1231
00:46:32,923 --> 00:46:33,988
Team Ram-Rod!
1232
00:46:33,990 --> 00:46:35,492
Please don't start
with that shit.
1233
00:46:39,796 --> 00:46:40,861
(SNORTS)
1234
00:46:40,863 --> 00:46:42,365
FOSTER:
Good luck, fellas.
1235
00:46:44,099 --> 00:46:46,203
(WHISPERS) Okay.
You stay here.
1236
00:46:49,872 --> 00:46:51,905
Big boy. Hey, big boy!
1237
00:46:51,907 --> 00:46:53,774
(WHISTLES, CAWING)
1238
00:46:53,776 --> 00:46:54,843
(GRUNTS)
1239
00:46:54,845 --> 00:46:56,211
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, no.
1240
00:46:56,213 --> 00:46:59,213
Come here, Ditka.
Come here. Come here, boy!
1241
00:46:59,215 --> 00:47:00,418
(WHISPERS) Go, go, go.
1242
00:47:01,050 --> 00:47:02,419
- Come on!
- (GROWLS)
1243
00:47:02,985 --> 00:47:04,419
Come on! Come on!
1244
00:47:04,421 --> 00:47:05,820
- Come, come!
- (ROARS)
1245
00:47:05,822 --> 00:47:06,887
Okay.
1246
00:47:06,889 --> 00:47:08,390
Okay, okay.
1247
00:47:08,392 --> 00:47:09,457
Fuck you, bear.
1248
00:47:09,459 --> 00:47:10,995
- (GROWLING)
- Shit.
1249
00:47:14,764 --> 00:47:15,765
Shit.
1250
00:47:19,535 --> 00:47:20,604
(GRUNTS)
1251
00:47:23,807 --> 00:47:25,006
(YELLING)
1252
00:47:25,008 --> 00:47:26,310
THORNY:
Go, go, go, go!
1253
00:47:29,012 --> 00:47:30,814
(WHIMPERING)
1254
00:47:31,481 --> 00:47:32,448
(SNARLS)
1255
00:47:32,450 --> 00:47:34,182
♪ Big bear ♪
1256
00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:35,350
(GRUNTING)
1257
00:47:35,352 --> 00:47:36,818
♪ Got a chest like a rug ♪
1258
00:47:36,820 --> 00:47:37,986
Oh, shit.
1259
00:47:37,988 --> 00:47:40,921
♪ He don't take no guff,
he's Big Bear ♪
1260
00:47:40,923 --> 00:47:42,157
Hey. Hey.
1261
00:47:42,159 --> 00:47:44,425
Get out of there. Stop.
1262
00:47:44,427 --> 00:47:46,195
- Should I shoot him?
- Who? Farva?
1263
00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:47,329
Ooh, good idea.
1264
00:47:47,331 --> 00:47:48,932
No, no! No, no, no.
1265
00:47:49,832 --> 00:47:50,999
(WHIMPERS)
1266
00:47:51,001 --> 00:47:52,267
(GROWLS)
1267
00:47:52,269 --> 00:47:53,934
Go away!
1268
00:47:53,936 --> 00:47:55,405
(SHRIEKING)
1269
00:47:56,506 --> 00:47:57,675
ALL: Oh!
1270
00:47:58,541 --> 00:48:00,441
- Get away, bear.
- (GROWLS)
1271
00:48:00,443 --> 00:48:03,644
♪ Come on, give
a bear a hug ♪
1272
00:48:03,646 --> 00:48:05,946
Go! Go! Go!
1273
00:48:05,948 --> 00:48:07,418
Get out of here. Fuck.
1274
00:48:09,986 --> 00:48:11,986
(ALL CHEERING)
1275
00:48:11,988 --> 00:48:14,088
Holy shit,
I "bear-ly" made it.
1276
00:48:14,090 --> 00:48:16,224
(ALL LAUGHING)
1277
00:48:16,226 --> 00:48:17,925
That could've been "grizzly".
1278
00:48:17,927 --> 00:48:19,494
- (ALL CHUCKLE)
- Yeah.
1279
00:48:19,496 --> 00:48:21,428
I think someone took
a "growler" in here.
1280
00:48:21,430 --> 00:48:22,765
- Shoot him.
- (COCKS GUN)
1281
00:48:22,767 --> 00:48:25,867
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN CAR)
- MAC: Fuckin' Mounties!
1282
00:48:25,869 --> 00:48:27,135
Son of a bitch!
1283
00:48:27,137 --> 00:48:29,738
Those guys have been assholes
since the moment we arrived
1284
00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:31,405
and now they are
trying to kill us.
1285
00:48:31,407 --> 00:48:33,240
This goes a lot farther
than just being angry
1286
00:48:33,242 --> 00:48:34,709
about losing their jobs.
1287
00:48:34,711 --> 00:48:36,345
Cap, we've been
pelted by hockey pucks,
1288
00:48:36,347 --> 00:48:37,945
had dicks tugged
in front of our faces
1289
00:48:37,947 --> 00:48:40,548
and gotten our asses kicked
by prostitutes of both sexes.
1290
00:48:40,550 --> 00:48:42,984
I think it's time we had
our own fun. Who's with me?
1291
00:48:42,986 --> 00:48:44,253
- (ALL CHEER)
- Yeah! Let's go!
1292
00:48:44,255 --> 00:48:46,854
Dude, you fuckin' stink.
1293
00:48:46,856 --> 00:48:47,992
Sorry.
1294
00:48:48,825 --> 00:48:52,693
Guys! Guys! Anyone?
1295
00:48:52,695 --> 00:48:54,930
The shaving cream
is starting to burn.
1296
00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:56,164
Did you use menthol?!
1297
00:48:56,166 --> 00:48:58,934
FEMALE NARRATOR: Hair loss,
queefing and bitchiness.
1298
00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:01,669
Flova Scotia, eh?
1299
00:49:01,671 --> 00:49:04,705
Fuckin' rights.
It's the same guy, bud.
1300
00:49:04,707 --> 00:49:07,408
No, no, no. It's
a different guy, that guy, eh.
1301
00:49:07,410 --> 00:49:09,510
Yeah, no!
That's Danny DeVito!
1302
00:49:09,512 --> 00:49:12,280
(GRUNTS) Danny DeVito
is the actor from Taxi,
1303
00:49:12,282 --> 00:49:13,615
but that guy I like,
1304
00:49:13,617 --> 00:49:16,350
he come out on Always
Sunny in Philadelphia's.
1305
00:49:16,352 --> 00:49:17,686
Bud, they're the same guy.
1306
00:49:17,688 --> 00:49:19,653
How many 145-centimeter actors
do you think there are?
1307
00:49:19,655 --> 00:49:21,222
They're both Danny DeVito!
1308
00:49:21,224 --> 00:49:22,390
(INDISTINCT MUMBLING)
1309
00:49:22,392 --> 00:49:24,792
No, Danny DeVito
Taxi long time ago.
1310
00:49:24,794 --> 00:49:27,662
But this producer
from Always Sunnys,
1311
00:49:27,664 --> 00:49:29,530
they like him so much,
(POPS LIPS)
1312
00:49:29,532 --> 00:49:31,932
they put him it
into the show, eh.
1313
00:49:31,934 --> 00:49:34,401
That doesn't mean they
can't be the same guy, bud.
1314
00:49:34,403 --> 00:49:35,836
That's one guy.
It's a different era.
1315
00:49:35,838 --> 00:49:37,704
He can do two shows
in fucking 30 years.
1316
00:49:37,706 --> 00:49:39,673
How many times
do we have to go over this?
1317
00:49:39,675 --> 00:49:41,577
It's the same fucking guy!
1318
00:49:41,579 --> 00:49:43,812
- (OBJECT CLATTERING)
- (MUMBLING)
1319
00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:46,981
He is right, you know.
It is the same guy.
1320
00:49:46,983 --> 00:49:48,983
Danny DeVito was in Taxis
1321
00:49:48,985 --> 00:49:51,921
but he is also in It's Always
Sunny in Philadelphia's.
1322
00:49:52,588 --> 00:49:54,455
I know. I make joke on him.
1323
00:49:54,457 --> 00:49:57,291
He think I don't know
but I know, eh.
1324
00:49:57,293 --> 00:50:00,061
(CHUCKLES)
1325
00:50:00,063 --> 00:50:02,997
You know who is my favorite,
uh, superhero villain?
1326
00:50:02,999 --> 00:50:05,499
Is the Penguin
from Batman film, eh.
1327
00:50:05,501 --> 00:50:07,903
That's fuckin'
Danny DeVito, bud.
1328
00:50:07,905 --> 00:50:09,204
Get a fucking clue!
1329
00:50:09,206 --> 00:50:10,771
That's Danny DeVito
you just said!
1330
00:50:10,773 --> 00:50:12,407
Can you believe
this fuckin' guy doesn't know
1331
00:50:12,409 --> 00:50:13,474
who Danny DeVito is?
1332
00:50:13,476 --> 00:50:14,742
Who you mean? The singer?
1333
00:50:14,744 --> 00:50:17,479
No, the fuckin' actor!
Danny DeVito.
1334
00:50:17,481 --> 00:50:19,513
The guy who's married
to Rhea Perlman!
1335
00:50:19,515 --> 00:50:21,349
Oh, I like him in Hellboy.
1336
00:50:21,351 --> 00:50:22,785
That's Ron Perlman!
1337
00:50:22,787 --> 00:50:25,887
Doesn't matter. Archambault!
Hockey is back on!
1338
00:50:25,889 --> 00:50:27,187
What the fuck is wrong
with you guys?
1339
00:50:27,189 --> 00:50:28,923
Both of you. You're fucki''
from another planet.
1340
00:50:28,925 --> 00:50:30,725
I can't believe we live
in the same country.
1341
00:50:30,727 --> 00:50:32,093
- (PHONE RINGING)
- Oh, the fucking phone
1342
00:50:32,095 --> 00:50:33,628
is ringing during
hockey night in Canada!
1343
00:50:33,630 --> 00:50:35,662
Who is calling during
hockey night in Canada?!
1344
00:50:35,664 --> 00:50:37,832
Who the fuck even has
a hard line anymore?
1345
00:50:37,834 --> 00:50:40,401
Archambault, rip the fuckin'
phone out of the wall!
1346
00:50:40,403 --> 00:50:41,637
What's next?
You're gonna have someone
1347
00:50:41,639 --> 00:50:43,704
deliver a pizza during
the fuckin' overtime?!
1348
00:50:43,706 --> 00:50:44,909
(YELLS)
1349
00:50:46,309 --> 00:50:47,943
- (HISSING)
- What the fuck?
1350
00:50:47,945 --> 00:50:48,946
(PODEIN COUGHS)
1351
00:50:54,751 --> 00:50:56,751
You know,
the other guy I like,
1352
00:50:56,753 --> 00:50:58,586
is the one
giving Billy Crystal
1353
00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:00,990
the problem in
Throw Momma and the Trains.
1354
00:51:03,860 --> 00:51:05,729
Holy merde.
1355
00:51:06,095 --> 00:51:07,564
(YELLS)
1356
00:51:08,365 --> 00:51:10,398
(GRUNTING)
1357
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:11,602
(GROANS)
1358
00:51:14,371 --> 00:51:15,840
(GROWLING)
1359
00:51:16,405 --> 00:51:17,674
(LAUGHTER)
1360
00:51:19,443 --> 00:51:20,575
(GRUNTING)
1361
00:51:20,577 --> 00:51:21,779
THORNY:
Get him!
1362
00:51:22,512 --> 00:51:23,881
(CRACKLING)
1363
00:51:26,082 --> 00:51:27,517
(GROANING)
1364
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:32,189
(CHEERING)
1365
00:51:34,124 --> 00:51:35,490
Great fight, guys!
1366
00:51:35,492 --> 00:51:38,292
Pennyworth ADH4
SureShot Cattle Prod.
1367
00:51:38,294 --> 00:51:39,494
Every station needs one.
1368
00:51:39,496 --> 00:51:41,495
(ALL CHEERING)
1369
00:51:41,497 --> 00:51:43,501
I can't breathe.
1370
00:51:53,343 --> 00:51:56,180
- (MUFFLED GRUNTS AND SHOUTS)
- (CATTLE PROD CRACKLING)
1371
00:51:58,148 --> 00:52:00,148
(MOUNTIES GROANING)
1372
00:52:00,150 --> 00:52:03,050
We know it's you guys.
We can see your mustaches.
1373
00:52:03,052 --> 00:52:04,919
Come on, you can't
leave us out here.
1374
00:52:04,921 --> 00:52:07,789
We are at least
100 kilomètres in the woods!
1375
00:52:07,791 --> 00:52:09,193
ARCHAMBAULT:
Maybe more, huh?
1376
00:52:14,264 --> 00:52:15,762
(ALL PANTING)
1377
00:52:15,764 --> 00:52:18,568
BELLEFUILLE: Ah, tabernacle.
Here come the mosquito.
1378
00:52:19,235 --> 00:52:21,204
(ALL CHEERING)
1379
00:52:23,572 --> 00:52:24,805
We got 24 hours
1380
00:52:24,807 --> 00:52:26,975
to desecrate the good names
of these dickfucks.
1381
00:52:26,977 --> 00:52:29,244
- (ALL CHEERING)
- Let's do it!
1382
00:52:29,246 --> 00:52:31,345
(ALL CHEERING AND WHOOPING)
1383
00:52:31,347 --> 00:52:34,283
(COUNTS IN FRENCH)
1384
00:52:34,285 --> 00:52:36,120
Let's do it.
1385
00:52:39,956 --> 00:52:42,126
License and registration, eh!
1386
00:52:43,293 --> 00:52:44,291
Here you go.
1387
00:52:44,293 --> 00:52:45,660
FARVA: (ON RADIO)
Captain, come in, Captain.
1388
00:52:45,662 --> 00:52:47,495
- Officer.
- FARVA: Captain, come in.
1389
00:52:47,497 --> 00:52:49,231
MAN:
Officer, here you go.
1390
00:52:49,233 --> 00:52:50,532
FARVA: Are you hearing
anything, Captain?
1391
00:52:50,534 --> 00:52:51,865
You think maybe
your buddy is getting
1392
00:52:51,867 --> 00:52:53,938
a little old for this?
I mean, a deaf cop?
1393
00:52:54,438 --> 00:52:56,338
Who said that, eh?
1394
00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:59,673
Ooh. You, sir,
have the nose of a king.
1395
00:52:59,675 --> 00:53:02,443
Hold tight, I'm gonna
get my ticket book.
1396
00:53:02,445 --> 00:53:03,879
(FOSTER GROANS)
1397
00:53:03,881 --> 00:53:05,613
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Ya! Hey there.
1398
00:53:05,615 --> 00:53:07,548
- License and registration.
- All right.
1399
00:53:07,550 --> 00:53:09,416
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Let's go!
License and registration, eh!
1400
00:53:09,418 --> 00:53:10,617
(SNICKERING)
1401
00:53:10,619 --> 00:53:11,686
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
What's so funny...
1402
00:53:11,688 --> 00:53:14,354
...Mr. Matt Tomon?
1403
00:53:14,356 --> 00:53:15,423
You think it's funny that
1404
00:53:15,425 --> 00:53:16,925
I lost my balls
in a tractor pull?
1405
00:53:16,927 --> 00:53:18,727
Wait, you both
got your nuts ripped off
1406
00:53:18,729 --> 00:53:19,861
in a tractor pull?
1407
00:53:19,863 --> 00:53:21,695
I lost mine in the spokes
of my bicycle.
1408
00:53:21,697 --> 00:53:23,666
You know how fast
that will stop a bicycle?
1409
00:53:25,802 --> 00:53:27,468
MAN:
Hey, Officer!
1410
00:53:27,470 --> 00:53:29,870
- Hey, you're on my wagon.
- What?
1411
00:53:29,872 --> 00:53:33,039
Come on! Wake up! Wake up!
1412
00:53:33,041 --> 00:53:34,877
FARVA:
License and registration, hey?
1413
00:53:36,445 --> 00:53:38,678
'Scuse me one second, eh.
1414
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:40,080
- You bitch!
- (GRUNTS)
1415
00:53:40,082 --> 00:53:42,052
- Get back here, you!
- FARVA: Ow! Ow!
1416
00:53:44,287 --> 00:53:46,254
- Hey, there.
- Hi.
1417
00:53:46,256 --> 00:53:48,323
License and registration.
1418
00:53:48,325 --> 00:53:51,559
Aren't you the two
that pulled me over before?
1419
00:53:51,561 --> 00:53:52,861
Beg your pardon?
1420
00:53:52,863 --> 00:53:56,497
How are you Mounties now?
Or should I say Meow-nties?
1421
00:53:56,499 --> 00:53:58,133
- (CHUCKLES)
- Say what now?
1422
00:53:58,135 --> 00:54:00,166
Few years ago,
you pulled me over
1423
00:54:00,168 --> 00:54:02,269
and you played some game
where you said "meow."
1424
00:54:02,271 --> 00:54:04,271
Buddy, I've said
a thousand stupid things
1425
00:54:04,273 --> 00:54:05,472
to people over the years.
1426
00:54:05,474 --> 00:54:07,140
You asked if I saw you
jumping around
1427
00:54:07,142 --> 00:54:09,843
all nimbly-bimbly
from tree to tree?
1428
00:54:09,845 --> 00:54:12,012
(CHUCKLES) I can assure you
I've never said the words
1429
00:54:12,014 --> 00:54:14,481
"nimbly-bimbly"
in my life.
1430
00:54:14,483 --> 00:54:16,151
- You fucker!
- Oh, you bitch!
1431
00:54:16,153 --> 00:54:17,517
(FARVA GROANING)
1432
00:54:17,519 --> 00:54:19,620
Where's the gosh darn cruiser?
1433
00:54:19,622 --> 00:54:20,854
(TIRES SCREECHING)
1434
00:54:20,856 --> 00:54:22,724
Dude, your partner
is about to get mucked!
1435
00:54:22,726 --> 00:54:24,691
Where you going, mister?
Freeze!
1436
00:54:24,693 --> 00:54:25,973
- (HORN BLARES)
- (TIRES SCREECH)
1437
00:54:27,396 --> 00:54:28,431
Ow. Ow!
1438
00:54:31,233 --> 00:54:32,499
(SIGHS)
1439
00:54:32,501 --> 00:54:33,700
- (HONKS HORN)
- (SCREAMS)
1440
00:54:33,702 --> 00:54:35,470
(ALL SCREAMING)
1441
00:54:35,472 --> 00:54:37,338
Bro!
1442
00:54:37,340 --> 00:54:39,374
Hang on. Do you really
not remember this guy
1443
00:54:39,376 --> 00:54:40,508
or you just fuckin' with him?
1444
00:54:40,510 --> 00:54:41,709
(WHISPERS) Yeah,
I have no idea who he is.
1445
00:54:41,711 --> 00:54:43,044
You know I heard
everything you said.
1446
00:54:43,046 --> 00:54:44,778
Son of a bitch. We've been
doing that for years.
1447
00:54:44,780 --> 00:54:46,948
Forget it. Am I getting
a ticket here, or...
1448
00:54:46,950 --> 00:54:48,249
You know what? I want
to get my head around this
1449
00:54:48,251 --> 00:54:49,850
'cause now
it's driving me crazy.
1450
00:54:49,852 --> 00:54:51,820
Let's do this. We'll switch.
You'll be me, I'll be you
1451
00:54:51,822 --> 00:54:53,220
and then
you'll do the routine.
1452
00:54:53,222 --> 00:54:54,122
What? All right.
1453
00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:55,759
Ah, you'll kill it,
you'll kill it.
1454
00:54:56,126 --> 00:54:57,358
(GRUNTS)
1455
00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,961
License and registration meow.
Come on, meow.
1456
00:55:00,963 --> 00:55:03,330
- Hey! Now I remember it!
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
1457
00:55:03,332 --> 00:55:05,432
- I remember it now.
- You remember that.
1458
00:55:05,434 --> 00:55:07,736
In the meanwhile, never give
your car keys to a stranger.
1459
00:55:07,738 --> 00:55:08,836
Why is that?
1460
00:55:08,838 --> 00:55:10,805
FOSTER: (GIGGLES)
See you, sucker!
1461
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:14,041
MAC: I knew it was you
the whole time, asshole!
1462
00:55:14,043 --> 00:55:16,343
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) What
the hell's going on here? Huh?
1463
00:55:16,345 --> 00:55:18,847
Looks like someone's smoking
the reefer joints.
1464
00:55:18,849 --> 00:55:20,247
No, that's not marijuana.
1465
00:55:20,249 --> 00:55:21,416
We'll see about that.
1466
00:55:21,418 --> 00:55:23,117
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Farva, that's not a good idea!
1467
00:55:23,119 --> 00:55:24,287
(SCREAMING)
1468
00:55:25,287 --> 00:55:26,354
What's the...
1469
00:55:26,356 --> 00:55:28,789
(SIREN WAILING)
1470
00:55:28,791 --> 00:55:30,059
Okay, this is happening.
1471
00:55:33,762 --> 00:55:35,998
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1472
00:55:37,066 --> 00:55:38,265
Sorry.
1473
00:55:38,267 --> 00:55:40,602
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1474
00:55:40,604 --> 00:55:41,669
We're from America.
1475
00:55:41,671 --> 00:55:42,937
We don't speak French.
1476
00:55:42,939 --> 00:55:43,974
Oh.
1477
00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:45,909
(HORSE NEIGHING)
1478
00:55:47,876 --> 00:55:49,477
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1479
00:55:49,479 --> 00:55:50,945
Do neither of you
speak English?
1480
00:55:50,947 --> 00:55:52,613
- (IN FRENCH ACCENT) I do.
- Oh.
1481
00:55:52,615 --> 00:55:54,448
Em... (CLICKS TONGUE)
1482
00:55:54,450 --> 00:55:55,950
Your papers.
1483
00:55:55,952 --> 00:55:59,954
We would like
to eat your papers.
1484
00:55:59,956 --> 00:56:02,990
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Can you
show me your party papers?
1485
00:56:02,992 --> 00:56:05,459
- You want to see our party papers?
- Party papers?
1486
00:56:05,461 --> 00:56:06,928
Bon vivant bouillabaisse,
1487
00:56:06,930 --> 00:56:09,162
cul de sac, les serve
chicken cordon bleu.
1488
00:56:09,164 --> 00:56:10,965
Formidable
Baton Rouge.
1489
00:56:10,967 --> 00:56:13,234
No bles or blis, o bon
pain Château Marmont?
1490
00:56:13,236 --> 00:56:15,202
- Croque monsieur?
- Croque madame!
1491
00:56:15,204 --> 00:56:16,271
(SCOFFS) Non!
1492
00:56:16,273 --> 00:56:17,405
Est stupid!
1493
00:56:17,407 --> 00:56:19,573
Frère Jacques, Grey
Poupon, Marquis de Sade,
1494
00:56:19,575 --> 00:56:20,774
tourette whoop!
1495
00:56:20,776 --> 00:56:22,943
Feather duster, croissant,
Les Miserables,
1496
00:56:22,945 --> 00:56:25,211
fart catcher,
Luc Robitaille, D'artagnan,
1497
00:56:25,213 --> 00:56:27,881
Perrier, Fran Tarkenton,
peanut butter parfait.
1498
00:56:27,883 --> 00:56:28,983
Eau de toilette!
1499
00:56:28,985 --> 00:56:30,352
(IMITATES MOCKINGLY)
1500
00:56:30,354 --> 00:56:31,952
Officers? I'm sorry.
1501
00:56:31,954 --> 00:56:33,421
You're, you're obviously in...
1502
00:56:33,423 --> 00:56:34,722
No, no, no, no, no.
1503
00:56:34,724 --> 00:56:37,825
I must apologize, uh,
for me and my partner.
1504
00:56:37,827 --> 00:56:39,227
We should not fight.
1505
00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:41,327
To argue is no way
to go through the life.
1506
00:56:41,329 --> 00:56:42,329
I know.
1507
00:56:42,331 --> 00:56:44,499
- Do you know the key to life?
- What's that?
1508
00:56:44,501 --> 00:56:46,803
The key to life is a...
1509
00:56:47,436 --> 00:56:50,004
a penis in your asshole.
1510
00:56:50,006 --> 00:56:52,273
I beg your pardon, sir!
1511
00:56:52,275 --> 00:56:54,508
I think you must be
saying that wrong!
1512
00:56:54,510 --> 00:56:59,180
No, no, no. The key to life
is a penis in your asshole.
1513
00:56:59,182 --> 00:57:01,716
I don't think you're saying
what you mean to say.
1514
00:57:01,718 --> 00:57:02,916
Oui! Oui! Oui!
1515
00:57:02,918 --> 00:57:04,151
A penis. A penis.
1516
00:57:04,153 --> 00:57:07,224
You know, eh, eh, to smile.
To be happy.
1517
00:57:07,490 --> 00:57:09,057
Oh!
1518
00:57:09,059 --> 00:57:11,291
- "Happiness!"
- (ALL CHUCKLE)
1519
00:57:11,293 --> 00:57:12,794
Honey! It's...
1520
00:57:12,796 --> 00:57:14,229
Okay.
1521
00:57:14,231 --> 00:57:15,866
In your asshole.
1522
00:57:16,532 --> 00:57:17,631
That's...
1523
00:57:17,633 --> 00:57:19,899
Your asshole.
Eh, where you live.
1524
00:57:19,901 --> 00:57:22,570
Your apartment,
your domicile.
1525
00:57:22,572 --> 00:57:23,970
Your house.
1526
00:57:23,972 --> 00:57:25,340
- "Household!"
- Ah!
1527
00:57:25,342 --> 00:57:28,809
"The key to life is happiness
in your household!"
1528
00:57:28,811 --> 00:57:31,345
Oui, the key to life is
"a penis in your asshole"!
1529
00:57:31,347 --> 00:57:33,314
- Oh!
- I'm trying to tell her that.
1530
00:57:33,316 --> 00:57:35,052
(ALL LAUGHING)
1531
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:39,287
What you think I say?
1532
00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:40,754
Oh, I don't even
want to tell you.
1533
00:57:40,756 --> 00:57:42,657
Maybe they'll get
a kick out of it.
1534
00:57:42,659 --> 00:57:44,459
We thought that you said,
1535
00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:49,396
that the key to life
is a penis in your asshole.
1536
00:57:49,398 --> 00:57:51,365
Sacrebleu, non!
1537
00:57:51,367 --> 00:57:53,767
You Americans think
everyone want to fuck you!
1538
00:57:53,769 --> 00:57:55,736
No one want to fuck you!
1539
00:57:55,738 --> 00:57:57,137
Merde!
1540
00:57:57,139 --> 00:57:59,275
Here is your party papers!
1541
00:58:00,008 --> 00:58:02,376
I thought Canadians were nice.
1542
00:58:02,378 --> 00:58:04,711
THORNY: Whoa! Whoa! Wait for me.
Okay.
1543
00:58:04,713 --> 00:58:05,879
(LAUGHTER)
1544
00:58:05,881 --> 00:58:07,048
I was thinking
we could do like
1545
00:58:07,050 --> 00:58:08,316
a "Who's on First?" pullover.
1546
00:58:08,318 --> 00:58:10,986
"Rabbit and Fostello."
You know, old-time comedy.
1547
00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:12,189
- Love it.
- Ooh.
1548
00:58:15,057 --> 00:58:17,392
- How are they back so quick?
- Shit! Shit, shit, shit!
1549
00:58:17,394 --> 00:58:18,428
- Shit!
- Go, go, go, go!
1550
00:58:26,903 --> 00:58:28,669
There are these
son-of-a-bitch guys, eh!
1551
00:58:28,671 --> 00:58:30,405
Stomp you a new mudhole!
1552
00:58:30,407 --> 00:58:31,338
O'HAGAN: Whoa, whoa!
1553
00:58:31,340 --> 00:58:33,173
What the hell happened
to you guys?
1554
00:58:33,175 --> 00:58:35,042
They dump us in the woods!
1555
00:58:35,044 --> 00:58:36,878
What?! Why would we do that?
We're the police.
1556
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,312
Too bad for you
my dad dropped me in the woods
1557
00:58:38,314 --> 00:58:40,481
- naked every summer!
- Hah?
1558
00:58:40,483 --> 00:58:41,881
Oh, sounds too bad for you.
1559
00:58:41,883 --> 00:58:43,785
Come on. You know you do this.
Look at us.
1560
00:58:43,787 --> 00:58:46,153
We are paint all red,
white and blue.
1561
00:58:46,155 --> 00:58:47,821
Aren't those the colors
of the French flag?
1562
00:58:47,823 --> 00:58:49,957
(SPUTTERS) Oh, the
color the French flag.
1563
00:58:49,959 --> 00:58:51,091
Perhaps the guys
who did this were British.
1564
00:58:51,093 --> 00:58:52,626
Could've been Costa Rican.
1565
00:58:52,628 --> 00:58:54,361
Who wants breakfast burritos?
1566
00:58:54,363 --> 00:58:56,664
- (SPEAKS FRENCH)
- (EXCLAIMING)
1567
00:58:56,666 --> 00:58:57,532
Take that off
or I'll kill you.
1568
00:58:57,534 --> 00:58:59,066
Let's settle this
the Canadian way!
1569
00:58:59,068 --> 00:59:00,334
You're in America now!
1570
00:59:00,336 --> 00:59:02,604
(CLAMORING)
1571
00:59:02,606 --> 00:59:05,106
Hey! What's going on here?
1572
00:59:05,108 --> 00:59:07,475
Great Tim Horton's ghost!
1573
00:59:07,477 --> 00:59:09,343
First, I get a call
that the Mounties
1574
00:59:09,345 --> 00:59:11,278
are out farting sideways
on the highways.
1575
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:12,914
Then I get a call
to come down here.
1576
00:59:12,916 --> 00:59:14,115
BELLEFUILLE:
Oh, it wasn't us!
1577
00:59:14,117 --> 00:59:16,117
These fucking guys,
they kidnap us
1578
00:59:16,119 --> 00:59:17,550
and they leave us
in the woods to die.
1579
00:59:17,552 --> 00:59:20,620
Yeah, then they steal
all three of our uniform, eh.
1580
00:59:20,622 --> 00:59:23,390
These guys put a bear in our station!
A real bear. Big bear!
1581
00:59:23,392 --> 00:59:25,892
You don't have
any proof of that.
1582
00:59:25,894 --> 00:59:27,026
A real bear?
1583
00:59:27,028 --> 00:59:29,898
Maybe. And maybe
they deserve a bear!
1584
00:59:29,900 --> 00:59:31,231
- (CLAMORING)
- Nobody deserves a bear!
1585
00:59:31,233 --> 00:59:32,834
I give a bear to you!
1586
00:59:32,836 --> 00:59:34,705
- We could have been eaten!
- (LAUGHING)
1587
00:59:36,972 --> 00:59:39,273
Why you laughing, Guy?
1588
00:59:39,275 --> 00:59:43,044
Fellas, you are thinking
about this all wrong, eh?
1589
00:59:43,046 --> 00:59:46,316
These guys?
They impersonated officers.
1590
00:59:47,416 --> 00:59:50,149
There is no way they're
holding onto their jobs.
1591
00:59:50,151 --> 00:59:52,519
And I'll do you one better.
1592
00:59:52,521 --> 00:59:55,756
When I get done talking to my
good friend Justin Trudeau...
1593
00:59:55,758 --> 00:59:57,158
Eh, the Prime Minister!
1594
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:58,892
I bet you this
whole turnover thing
1595
00:59:58,894 --> 01:00:00,260
goes right out the window.
1596
01:00:00,262 --> 01:00:01,428
Boom!
1597
01:00:01,430 --> 01:00:03,898
So, boys, unpack your bags.
Revive those cable bundles.
1598
01:00:03,900 --> 01:00:05,599
'Cause you are
not going anywhere.
1599
01:00:05,601 --> 01:00:07,767
I say we celebrate. What are
we having for breakfast?
1600
01:00:07,769 --> 01:00:09,937
- Pancake.
- Pancake, yeah?
1601
01:00:09,939 --> 01:00:11,439
All right.
Oatmeal and raisins it is.
1602
01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:13,506
- Oh.
- Kidding. It's pancakes.
1603
01:00:13,508 --> 01:00:16,611
Eh, pancake! Maybe two eggs
side by each, eh?
1604
01:00:16,613 --> 01:00:17,778
I don't want this oatmeal.
1605
01:00:17,780 --> 01:00:20,061
BELLEFUILLE: Maybe you put the
raisins inside the pancake.
1606
01:00:20,916 --> 01:00:22,416
Genevieve, wait.
1607
01:00:22,418 --> 01:00:24,684
You brought this
on yourselves.
1608
01:00:24,686 --> 01:00:26,155
They put a bear...
1609
01:00:27,990 --> 01:00:30,057
This is bad, fellas.
1610
01:00:30,059 --> 01:00:33,294
This is "Fred Savage
Ridin'-Along Incident" bad.
1611
01:00:33,296 --> 01:00:34,829
Tell that to Fred Savage.
1612
01:00:34,831 --> 01:00:37,398
Well, no sense in having
good breakfast go to waste.
1613
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:38,765
- I've lost my appetite.
- I'm sorry, man.
1614
01:00:38,767 --> 01:00:40,401
- I'm just not hungry.
- (CHUCKLES AND STAMMERS)
1615
01:00:40,403 --> 01:00:42,369
You try to do something
nice for people,
1616
01:00:42,371 --> 01:00:44,775
and then it just,
I just, you know.
1617
01:00:45,508 --> 01:00:47,276
What's the point?
1618
01:00:48,244 --> 01:00:51,412
Stop taking
female hormones!
1619
01:00:51,414 --> 01:00:52,680
♪ Makin' money ♪
1620
01:00:52,682 --> 01:00:54,115
♪ Makin' dollars,
makin' money ♪
1621
01:00:54,117 --> 01:00:55,483
MAC: Can we
please come in, Cap?
1622
01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:57,885
- He's taking years off my life.
- (BURPING)
1623
01:00:57,887 --> 01:00:59,452
O'HAGAN:
Just the bad years, kid.
1624
01:00:59,454 --> 01:01:01,521
- I'm serious, Cap. I'm about to snap like a dry twig.
- (BURPS)
1625
01:01:01,523 --> 01:01:04,225
Things are still pretty dicey here.
Best keep Farva away.
1626
01:01:04,227 --> 01:01:06,394
We'll let you know
when the coast is clear.
1627
01:01:06,396 --> 01:01:08,465
(MUSIC PLAYING
ON EARPHONES)
1628
01:01:09,499 --> 01:01:11,698
(LOUDLY) Have you
heard the new Kanye?
1629
01:01:11,700 --> 01:01:14,602
He's not just about big butts!
He's a really good singer.
1630
01:01:14,604 --> 01:01:15,769
(FARVA CHEWING LOUDLY)
1631
01:01:15,771 --> 01:01:19,374
This is great. It's like
being on the road again.
1632
01:01:19,376 --> 01:01:21,908
I like to chew mint gum
when I'm on the road.
1633
01:01:21,910 --> 01:01:23,276
When I'm radio, it's fruit.
1634
01:01:23,278 --> 01:01:26,548
You know, like Juicy Fruit,
Bubblicious, Hubba Bubba.
1635
01:01:26,550 --> 01:01:28,115
Anything fruity.
1636
01:01:28,117 --> 01:01:29,383
On the road,
I like mint, though.
1637
01:01:29,385 --> 01:01:31,885
Mint, mint, mint, mint, mint.
1638
01:01:31,887 --> 01:01:33,586
And Beech-Nut,
have you tried that?
1639
01:01:33,588 --> 01:01:35,323
They should call it
"Beech-Not!" (CHUCKLES)
1640
01:01:35,325 --> 01:01:37,957
Oh, shit, I'm gonna
write that down.
1641
01:01:37,959 --> 01:01:39,859
What kind of gum do you chew?
1642
01:01:39,861 --> 01:01:41,331
They should make
a black mint gum.
1643
01:01:41,997 --> 01:01:43,164
That would be choice.
1644
01:01:43,166 --> 01:01:45,365
They could call it
"Minty Black".
1645
01:01:45,367 --> 01:01:46,934
Yeah, I'm gonna
write that down too.
1646
01:01:46,936 --> 01:01:48,803
- No one would buy that.
- What?
1647
01:01:48,805 --> 01:01:50,273
No one would buy
that stupid gum.
1648
01:01:53,041 --> 01:01:54,108
(UNZIPS)
1649
01:01:54,110 --> 01:01:55,209
- Bullshit.
- (URINATING)
1650
01:01:55,211 --> 01:01:58,012
They'd buy it
if it was on Friends.
1651
01:01:58,014 --> 01:01:59,247
Like if Ross
or Rachel chewed it,
1652
01:01:59,249 --> 01:02:00,648
it'd sell like hotcakes.
1653
01:02:00,650 --> 01:02:01,983
Are you a mutant?
1654
01:02:01,985 --> 01:02:03,917
You follow me out here while I'm
pissing just to tell me this shit?
1655
01:02:03,919 --> 01:02:05,285
Quit looking at my dick.
1656
01:02:05,287 --> 01:02:06,519
I'm not looking at your dick.
We're taking a piss.
1657
01:02:06,521 --> 01:02:08,189
- So, piss.
- I don't have to go.
1658
01:02:08,191 --> 01:02:10,691
(ENGINE ROARING)
1659
01:02:10,693 --> 01:02:12,894
I'll fuck that Canadian
right in his back bacon!
1660
01:02:12,896 --> 01:02:13,897
Rod! Rod!
1661
01:02:15,064 --> 01:02:17,432
(GRUNTING)
1662
01:02:17,434 --> 01:02:19,434
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah!
- Farva!
1663
01:02:19,436 --> 01:02:21,537
- (SIREN WAILING)
- Farva!
1664
01:02:22,637 --> 01:02:23,838
Farva!
1665
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:25,342
(TIRES SCREECH)
1666
01:02:28,010 --> 01:02:29,478
Dumb fuck.
1667
01:02:29,945 --> 01:02:31,747
(ALARM BEEPING)
1668
01:02:34,450 --> 01:02:35,730
- Unbelievable.
- (BEEPING STOPS)
1669
01:02:36,653 --> 01:02:38,753
Who pops an airbag?
1670
01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:40,557
God. You weigh a ton.
1671
01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:46,229
You gotta be shitting me.
Don't die on me, Farva.
1672
01:02:48,131 --> 01:02:49,466
Okay. You can do it.
1673
01:02:59,843 --> 01:03:01,344
(MAC GAGS)
1674
01:03:05,581 --> 01:03:06,615
Oh! Fuck!
1675
01:03:07,082 --> 01:03:08,182
From upside down,
1676
01:03:08,184 --> 01:03:10,251
your mustache looks
like a big hairy smile.
1677
01:03:10,253 --> 01:03:11,486
Why would you
give me the Shocker?
1678
01:03:11,488 --> 01:03:14,354
My way of saying, "Thanks,
honey. You saved my life."
1679
01:03:14,356 --> 01:03:16,356
I was dead. I went to Heaven.
1680
01:03:16,358 --> 01:03:17,624
And you were there.
1681
01:03:17,626 --> 01:03:19,994
- You know what you were doing?
- What?
1682
01:03:19,996 --> 01:03:23,198
Trying to make out with me,
sweetheart! I'm on to you.
1683
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:25,767
(CHUCKLES) Come here.
Give me some more of that.
1684
01:03:25,769 --> 01:03:26,867
(MAKES KISSING NOISES)
1685
01:03:26,869 --> 01:03:27,938
What the hell is that?
1686
01:03:29,773 --> 01:03:31,274
(FARVA GROANS)
1687
01:03:34,843 --> 01:03:36,679
Well, hello, Laverne!
1688
01:03:37,447 --> 01:03:38,879
Looks like the same stuff.
1689
01:03:38,881 --> 01:03:40,816
Yeah, but a shit-ton
more of it.
1690
01:03:42,852 --> 01:03:44,617
Holy Hindu holidays.
1691
01:03:44,619 --> 01:03:46,288
There's a new guest
at the party.
1692
01:03:47,256 --> 01:03:49,226
AK-47s.
1693
01:03:53,662 --> 01:03:54,595
RABBIT:
Hey.
1694
01:03:54,597 --> 01:03:56,329
Oh, no, I don't
want to hear it, Rabbit.
1695
01:03:56,331 --> 01:03:58,131
Genevieve,
could I just explain?
1696
01:03:58,133 --> 01:03:59,867
There is nothing to explain.
1697
01:03:59,869 --> 01:04:01,635
They put bears
in our station.
1698
01:04:01,637 --> 01:04:02,870
This is Canada!
1699
01:04:02,872 --> 01:04:04,470
There are bears everywhere.
1700
01:04:04,472 --> 01:04:05,872
There are bears that
go through
1701
01:04:05,874 --> 01:04:06,874
my garbage every night.
1702
01:04:06,876 --> 01:04:09,609
I have cereal
with bears in it: Bearios.
1703
01:04:09,611 --> 01:04:11,678
Canada's most
popular breakfast.
1704
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:13,180
LALOUSH:
Someone say "Bearios"?
1705
01:04:13,182 --> 01:04:16,350
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Hey there, Genny.
Wanna grab some eats?
1706
01:04:16,352 --> 01:04:17,718
No, thanks.
1707
01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:21,120
Turn that into a maybe
and I'll have your baby.
1708
01:04:21,122 --> 01:04:22,325
(CHUCKLES)
1709
01:04:23,126 --> 01:04:24,691
Lonnie Laloush?
1710
01:04:24,693 --> 01:04:27,528
That's mon nom.
Don't wear it out, eh?
1711
01:04:27,530 --> 01:04:30,164
You want a hot coffee?
I'm pouring.
1712
01:04:30,166 --> 01:04:32,233
Oui, s'il te plait.
1713
01:04:32,235 --> 01:04:33,901
Seems like a real
"dickwa-duh", huh?
1714
01:04:33,903 --> 01:04:37,271
I told everyone
how wonderful you all are.
1715
01:04:37,273 --> 01:04:40,506
Well, you're not.
You have bad hearts.
1716
01:04:40,508 --> 01:04:41,878
Who wants crème fraiche?
1717
01:04:42,878 --> 01:04:44,012
Nobody?
1718
01:04:44,014 --> 01:04:45,345
(CHEWING LOUDLY)
1719
01:04:45,347 --> 01:04:47,449
Okay, no crème fraiche!
1720
01:04:48,450 --> 01:04:50,283
- Please just go.
- Genevieve...
1721
01:04:50,285 --> 01:04:51,820
Just go.
1722
01:04:57,260 --> 01:04:58,828
(GUNS FIRING)
1723
01:05:01,231 --> 01:05:04,499
They're actually AK-48s.
Illegal in the U.S.
1724
01:05:04,501 --> 01:05:05,631
THORNY:
Why 48?
1725
01:05:05,633 --> 01:05:08,869
Because they hold
one extra bullet.
1726
01:05:08,871 --> 01:05:09,736
Yeah, sure. You never know
1727
01:05:09,738 --> 01:05:11,271
when you're gonna
need just one more.
1728
01:05:11,273 --> 01:05:12,640
This one says "Tiger Penis".
1729
01:05:12,642 --> 01:05:13,774
Suck it!
1730
01:05:13,776 --> 01:05:14,608
Shut up, Farva.
1731
01:05:14,610 --> 01:05:16,443
The Chinese use it
to get hard-ons.
1732
01:05:16,445 --> 01:05:17,812
I tried to get it once.
1733
01:05:17,814 --> 01:05:19,814
- You can't buy it in the United States.
- (SCOFFS)
1734
01:05:21,349 --> 01:05:23,117
Dude, what's up
with your mustache?
1735
01:05:23,119 --> 01:05:24,321
Nothing.
1736
01:05:26,421 --> 01:05:28,155
- Are you wearing a mustache wig?
- No!
1737
01:05:28,157 --> 01:05:30,457
It's a postiche, okay?
I'm having a little hair loss.
1738
01:05:30,459 --> 01:05:31,526
Don't worry about it.
1739
01:05:31,528 --> 01:05:33,760
Worry about your
own goddamn mustache.
1740
01:05:33,762 --> 01:05:34,928
Fuckin' asshole.
1741
01:05:34,930 --> 01:05:36,997
Hey, Mac tell you guys
about our little moment?
1742
01:05:36,999 --> 01:05:38,765
Did you, Mac and Cheese?
1743
01:05:38,767 --> 01:05:41,135
You told us, Farva.
I don't want to hear it again.
1744
01:05:41,137 --> 01:05:42,535
I'm the Cheese.
1745
01:05:42,537 --> 01:05:43,637
THORNY:
All right, look, guys.
1746
01:05:43,639 --> 01:05:45,104
I know we're
in some serious shit here,
1747
01:05:45,106 --> 01:05:46,340
but if we can crack this case,
1748
01:05:46,342 --> 01:05:47,575
we might just be able to get
1749
01:05:47,577 --> 01:05:48,943
beyond this
whole Mountie thing.
1750
01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:50,276
We didn't do anything.
1751
01:05:50,278 --> 01:05:51,479
Foster, we kidnapped
and impersonated
1752
01:05:51,481 --> 01:05:52,916
officers of
a sovereign nation.
1753
01:05:53,349 --> 01:05:54,615
Right.
1754
01:05:54,617 --> 01:05:57,617
Cuban cigars, Canadian pills,
counterfeit cell phones,
1755
01:05:57,619 --> 01:05:59,285
AK-48s and Tiger Penis.
1756
01:05:59,287 --> 01:06:01,021
What's the link?
1757
01:06:01,023 --> 01:06:03,823
All this stuff is
more valuable in the U.S.
1758
01:06:03,825 --> 01:06:04,758
than in Canada.
1759
01:06:04,760 --> 01:06:06,160
So, it's
a smuggling operation.
1760
01:06:06,162 --> 01:06:08,061
Someone's trying to move
this shit over the border.
1761
01:06:08,063 --> 01:06:09,099
No, they're not.
1762
01:06:10,066 --> 01:06:11,198
Think about it.
1763
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:12,832
This stuff is just sitting on
Canadian land. Yeah. Okay.
1764
01:06:12,834 --> 01:06:15,135
But what happens
when this Canadian land
1765
01:06:15,137 --> 01:06:16,704
becomes American land?
1766
01:06:16,706 --> 01:06:20,374
No need to move it at all.
It's already on U.S. soil.
1767
01:06:20,376 --> 01:06:21,774
Exactly, huh?
1768
01:06:21,776 --> 01:06:24,579
Passive smuggling. (CHUCKLES)
It's my kind of crime.
1769
01:06:24,581 --> 01:06:27,213
So, they must have this shit
stashed all along the border.
1770
01:06:27,215 --> 01:06:28,850
Yeah. But who is "they"?
1771
01:06:28,852 --> 01:06:30,383
Who "are" they.
1772
01:06:30,385 --> 01:06:31,484
FOSTER: Hey, look,
I said this earlier
1773
01:06:31,486 --> 01:06:32,885
and you guys laughed at me.
1774
01:06:32,887 --> 01:06:36,090
But I think it's the Mounties.
They are shit people. Okay?
1775
01:06:36,092 --> 01:06:38,057
And they smoke Cubans cigars.
We've seen that.
1776
01:06:38,059 --> 01:06:40,093
They're getting transferred
to God knows where.
1777
01:06:40,095 --> 01:06:41,294
I mean, what
do they have to lose?
1778
01:06:41,296 --> 01:06:44,664
I am starting to agree with
Sherlock McSerpico over here.
1779
01:06:44,666 --> 01:06:46,099
- (CLAP ECHOES)
- Ooh!
1780
01:06:46,101 --> 01:06:47,801
I'm telling you, fellas.
1781
01:06:47,803 --> 01:06:49,669
In my experience,
it's always the local cops.
1782
01:06:49,671 --> 01:06:51,671
What would you guys give me
if I kill that bird?
1783
01:06:51,673 --> 01:06:53,307
Farva, that's a Bald Eagle!
1784
01:06:53,309 --> 01:06:54,441
Get a wig, baldy!
1785
01:06:54,443 --> 01:06:57,443
(GUN FIRING)
1786
01:06:57,445 --> 01:06:59,180
- Yeah!
- (EAGLE CAWING)
1787
01:06:59,182 --> 01:07:00,580
Put the goddamn gun down.
1788
01:07:00,582 --> 01:07:02,682
- What?
- (EAGLE SCREECHES, WHIMPERS)
1789
01:07:02,684 --> 01:07:05,285
Oh, booyah!
Guys, what do I win?
1790
01:07:05,287 --> 01:07:07,254
A one-way ticket to hell.
1791
01:07:07,256 --> 01:07:09,426
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1792
01:07:11,494 --> 01:07:12,559
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
1793
01:07:12,561 --> 01:07:14,628
This place wishes
it was Shenanigans.
1794
01:07:14,630 --> 01:07:16,064
Welcome to Chicanery's, eh!
1795
01:07:16,666 --> 01:07:17,798
Can I get you a booth?
1796
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:20,233
Uh, no. We're meeting
somebody here.
1797
01:07:20,235 --> 01:07:21,401
Oh, yeah, there he is.
1798
01:07:21,403 --> 01:07:23,836
♪ I'll pay the rent ♪
1799
01:07:23,838 --> 01:07:26,908
- Cap!
- ♪ God knows I've done you wrong ♪
1800
01:07:26,910 --> 01:07:28,774
MAC: Chief, we've been
looking all over for you.
1801
01:07:28,776 --> 01:07:30,410
Cap, Cap, Cap, I think
we've figured it out!
1802
01:07:30,412 --> 01:07:32,445
- ♪ Do you re... ♪
- Chief. I think we cracked the thing.
1803
01:07:32,447 --> 01:07:34,282
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
1804
01:07:34,284 --> 01:07:35,414
I've been waiting
here for an hour.
1805
01:07:35,416 --> 01:07:36,751
I think you're gonna
want to know this.
1806
01:07:36,753 --> 01:07:38,553
- This is my song.
- I know, but listen, I think we...
1807
01:07:38,555 --> 01:07:40,387
- I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down.
- No, no, no.
1808
01:07:40,389 --> 01:07:41,555
I'm singing here.
1809
01:07:41,557 --> 01:07:43,459
I'm singing here.
Sit the fuck down!
1810
01:07:46,262 --> 01:07:51,765
♪ Bill Bailey, won't you
please come home ♪
1811
01:07:51,767 --> 01:07:53,334
What can I get for you guys?
1812
01:07:53,336 --> 01:07:55,936
Maybe a cold beer?
Liter of cola?
1813
01:07:55,938 --> 01:07:57,137
What did you say?
1814
01:07:57,139 --> 01:07:58,271
Do you want a liter of cola?
1815
01:07:58,273 --> 01:07:59,640
You have that here?
1816
01:07:59,642 --> 01:08:01,075
Yeah, we got
the Decaliter Delight.
1817
01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:03,376
You get a punch card, you
rack up ten liters of cola,
1818
01:08:03,378 --> 01:08:04,544
get yourself a free dessert.
1819
01:08:04,546 --> 01:08:06,249
Bring them all.
Bring them all right now.
1820
01:08:07,515 --> 01:08:09,216
Bring all ten liters
and the punch card.
1821
01:08:09,218 --> 01:08:10,253
I want it all right now.
1822
01:08:12,387 --> 01:08:13,454
Come on.
1823
01:08:13,456 --> 01:08:14,988
Canada's pretty awesome.
1824
01:08:14,990 --> 01:08:17,190
- Boop boop.
- Uh, don't do that.
1825
01:08:17,192 --> 01:08:19,929
- Boop beep boo boop beep.
- (STUTTERS) Cut the crap.
1826
01:08:26,501 --> 01:08:28,601
- Genevieve?
- (SIGHS)
1827
01:08:28,603 --> 01:08:32,006
I feel terrible
about what I said to you.
1828
01:08:32,008 --> 01:08:34,041
I know I overreacted.
1829
01:08:34,043 --> 01:08:37,511
It's just the town is so upset
about the turnover.
1830
01:08:37,513 --> 01:08:38,578
Sure.
1831
01:08:38,580 --> 01:08:40,680
Anyway,
you are not a bad person.
1832
01:08:40,682 --> 01:08:42,483
Even if you are American.
1833
01:08:42,485 --> 01:08:43,851
(LAUGHS)
1834
01:08:43,853 --> 01:08:45,586
Well, I've actually been
working on that for you.
1835
01:08:45,588 --> 01:08:46,720
- For me?
- Yeah.
1836
01:08:46,722 --> 01:08:49,356
Moosehead. Canadian beer.
1837
01:08:49,358 --> 01:08:51,425
Beaver chili.
Très Canadien.
1838
01:08:51,427 --> 01:08:52,592
(LAUGHS)
1839
01:08:52,594 --> 01:08:54,797
And I've been working
on my French too.
1840
01:08:55,697 --> 01:08:57,465
- (ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING)
- (GASPS)
1841
01:08:57,467 --> 01:09:00,133
Oh, I love this song!
1842
01:09:00,135 --> 01:09:04,270
Oh, it reminds me of summers
on Etang de la Soupe Aux Pois.
1843
01:09:04,272 --> 01:09:06,174
(SINGING ALONG IN FRENCH)
1844
01:09:18,554 --> 01:09:21,355
Wow! That's very good.
1845
01:09:21,357 --> 01:09:23,556
Oh, I wouldn't say that, but,
1846
01:09:23,558 --> 01:09:24,824
I don't even know
what it means.
1847
01:09:24,826 --> 01:09:28,564
It's a sad song about
the Nazi Occupation of France.
1848
01:09:29,898 --> 01:09:31,230
Oh.
1849
01:09:31,232 --> 01:09:32,466
I'm sorry. I...
1850
01:09:32,468 --> 01:09:33,699
No. No, no.
1851
01:09:33,701 --> 01:09:35,336
It's about two lovers
1852
01:09:35,338 --> 01:09:38,672
trapped in a war
that neither wanted,
1853
01:09:38,674 --> 01:09:41,711
but they love
each other anyway.
1854
01:09:42,277 --> 01:09:43,444
Oh.
1855
01:09:43,446 --> 01:09:45,782
So much better. (CHUCKLES)
1856
01:09:48,250 --> 01:09:49,953
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1857
01:09:58,626 --> 01:10:00,228
- Is this really happening?
- Oh, yes.
1858
01:10:02,063 --> 01:10:03,296
I love it.
1859
01:10:03,298 --> 01:10:04,765
(GENEVIEVE MOANING)
1860
01:10:04,767 --> 01:10:05,899
Wait, wait, wait.
1861
01:10:05,901 --> 01:10:08,001
- Where is the fat one's desk?
- Right there.
1862
01:10:08,003 --> 01:10:09,168
Okay.
1863
01:10:09,170 --> 01:10:10,503
You don't know his name?
1864
01:10:10,505 --> 01:10:11,939
Flarvla.
1865
01:10:11,941 --> 01:10:13,876
(CHUCKLES)
I smell a new nickname.
1866
01:10:14,576 --> 01:10:16,144
Guess we hurry.
1867
01:10:22,851 --> 01:10:24,950
Passive smuggling?
It's brilliant.
1868
01:10:24,952 --> 01:10:26,252
And it's gotta
be the Mounties.
1869
01:10:26,254 --> 01:10:27,154
- Why?
- (SLURPING)
1870
01:10:27,156 --> 01:10:29,155
'Cause it's always
the local cops.
1871
01:10:29,157 --> 01:10:30,222
Here's your punch card.
1872
01:10:30,224 --> 01:10:32,458
(PUNCHING)
1873
01:10:32,460 --> 01:10:34,694
Five, six, seven, eight.
1874
01:10:34,696 --> 01:10:37,030
Number nine. This is ten.
1875
01:10:37,032 --> 01:10:39,666
Technically, you have to drink
all ten to get the dessert.
1876
01:10:39,668 --> 01:10:40,734
Oh, you challenging me?
1877
01:10:40,736 --> 01:10:42,101
This will be gone
in three seconds.
1878
01:10:42,103 --> 01:10:44,105
I'll have
the butter tart yule log.
1879
01:10:44,107 --> 01:10:45,940
Come on. Chop-chop!
1880
01:10:45,942 --> 01:10:47,844
MAC:
Just do it, dude.
1881
01:10:50,211 --> 01:10:51,779
Canada!
1882
01:10:51,781 --> 01:10:53,079
And the beauty is,
1883
01:10:53,081 --> 01:10:54,748
there's nothing they can do
with all that contraband,
1884
01:10:54,750 --> 01:10:56,583
until this land
becomes America.
1885
01:10:56,585 --> 01:10:58,918
So all we have to do
is push back the turnover,
1886
01:10:58,920 --> 01:11:00,753
until we can find
the rest of the stuff.
1887
01:11:00,755 --> 01:11:02,021
O'HAGAN:
Well, you heard LeFranc.
1888
01:11:02,023 --> 01:11:03,990
Who knows what's gonna happen
with the turnover?
1889
01:11:03,992 --> 01:11:07,159
Whatever happens,
we gotta solve this case. Now.
1890
01:11:07,161 --> 01:11:09,129
Let's take another look
at that contraband.
1891
01:11:09,131 --> 01:11:11,597
- We may have missed something.
- (SLURPING)
1892
01:11:11,599 --> 01:11:14,267
Hold on! I didn't
get my free dessert.
1893
01:11:14,269 --> 01:11:15,334
Move it, Farva!
1894
01:11:15,336 --> 01:11:17,404
Come on! It's a fucki''
butter tart yule log!
1895
01:11:17,406 --> 01:11:19,573
O'HAGAN:
Let's go! Now!
1896
01:11:19,575 --> 01:11:20,809
Damn it.
1897
01:11:23,211 --> 01:11:24,944
Oh! Whoa! Watch it, pal.
1898
01:11:24,946 --> 01:11:27,082
Walk faster, finger blaster.
1899
01:11:31,353 --> 01:11:33,055
(BOTH EXHALE)
1900
01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:39,793
Son of a... Rabbit!
1901
01:11:39,795 --> 01:11:40,894
MAC:
Whoa!
1902
01:11:40,896 --> 01:11:42,895
Whoa!
The booty's gone!
1903
01:11:42,897 --> 01:11:44,299
Did they take
the Flova Scotia?
1904
01:11:45,433 --> 01:11:47,802
In addition to Rabbit!
1905
01:11:47,804 --> 01:11:50,002
Hold your bones.
Rabbit's car.
1906
01:11:50,004 --> 01:11:52,004
The dash cam! Look at this.
1907
01:11:52,006 --> 01:11:53,641
Ooh, you clever
little prick, you.
1908
01:11:53,643 --> 01:11:55,141
Prick? I'm tired
of these putdowns!
1909
01:11:55,143 --> 01:11:56,709
It's a compliment,
shithead.
1910
01:11:56,711 --> 01:11:59,081
Fuck you,
midget Burt Reynolds.
1911
01:12:00,883 --> 01:12:02,919
- Mm.
- Mm-mm.
1912
01:12:04,085 --> 01:12:06,319
MAC: (CHUCKLES)
Oh, a little ménage à two.
1913
01:12:06,321 --> 01:12:07,957
FARVA AND MAC: Mm.
1914
01:12:08,823 --> 01:12:10,524
- MAC: Ah.
- THORNY: Yeah, partner.
1915
01:12:10,526 --> 01:12:12,359
- (CHUCKLES)
- (HOWLS)
1916
01:12:12,361 --> 01:12:14,595
Can you believe she picked
Donnie Osmond over me?
1917
01:12:14,597 --> 01:12:16,762
- MAC: Yes.
- I mean, is anyone else shocked here?
1918
01:12:16,764 --> 01:12:18,131
- No.
- And on my desk?
1919
01:12:18,133 --> 01:12:20,566
O'HAGAN: Shut up, Farva.
This is serious.
1920
01:12:20,568 --> 01:12:22,535
- ALL: Whoa!
- What the fuck?
1921
01:12:22,537 --> 01:12:24,038
THORNY: Now how are
we gonna find them?
1922
01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:26,640
All those iPhones
had the same number.
1923
01:12:26,642 --> 01:12:28,641
Now, if we only
had a triangulator,
1924
01:12:28,643 --> 01:12:29,878
we could locate them.
1925
01:12:31,012 --> 01:12:33,913
Aha! Take that,
you bastards.
1926
01:12:33,915 --> 01:12:35,748
MAC: Those are the
phones right there.
1927
01:12:35,750 --> 01:12:36,985
Enhance.
1928
01:12:37,987 --> 01:12:39,586
All right,
but what is this place?
1929
01:12:39,588 --> 01:12:40,790
Enhance.
1930
01:12:42,424 --> 01:12:44,591
- Enhance.
- Okay, okay.
1931
01:12:44,593 --> 01:12:46,427
FOSTER:
"Sciere de la Vache."
1932
01:12:46,429 --> 01:12:48,561
All right, you guys speak
French, what does that mean?
1933
01:12:48,563 --> 01:12:52,099
(SMACKS LIPS) I don't
know what sciere means
1934
01:12:52,101 --> 01:12:54,135
and I also don't know
what vache means.
1935
01:12:54,137 --> 01:12:56,535
THORNY: So you really don't
understand anything?
1936
01:12:56,537 --> 01:12:57,872
Sciere de la Vache?
1937
01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:00,373
I believe it's
"The Scary Vase".
1938
01:13:00,375 --> 01:13:02,909
MAC: Yeah, yeah. Let's
see, sciere is "beetle".
1939
01:13:02,911 --> 01:13:04,977
- Beetle vase. No. Yes.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1940
01:13:04,979 --> 01:13:08,248
But la vache is "angry".
"Angry Beetle."
1941
01:13:08,250 --> 01:13:10,083
- Okay.
- Yeah. Angry Beetle, we think.
1942
01:13:10,085 --> 01:13:13,220
It's "The Sawmill of the Cow",
you idiots!
1943
01:13:13,222 --> 01:13:14,654
It's a sawmill!
1944
01:13:14,656 --> 01:13:17,690
- Why "Sawmill of the Cow"? No.
- It doesn't make any sense.
1945
01:13:17,692 --> 01:13:19,793
Let's go and give those
Canuckleheads
1946
01:13:19,795 --> 01:13:22,163
a good old-fashioned
red-white-and-blue,
1947
01:13:22,165 --> 01:13:23,262
fist-fucking!
1948
01:13:23,264 --> 01:13:24,704
- (ALL CHEERING)
- Yeah! Let's do it!
1949
01:13:26,635 --> 01:13:27,937
FARVA:
Shotgun! Shotgun! Shotgun!
1950
01:13:28,237 --> 01:13:29,238
Whoa!
1951
01:13:29,571 --> 01:13:30,770
Shit.
1952
01:13:30,772 --> 01:13:33,373
(SIRENS WAILING)
1953
01:13:33,375 --> 01:13:37,243
♪ You know you're always paying
for the shit that's free ♪
1954
01:13:37,245 --> 01:13:39,846
Hey, pull over.
I gotta take a pee-ahs.
1955
01:13:39,848 --> 01:13:41,284
Shouldn't have drank
all that soda.
1956
01:13:43,853 --> 01:13:45,084
You know, it just now
occurred to me,
1957
01:13:45,086 --> 01:13:46,720
you and I have never been
alone together before.
1958
01:13:46,722 --> 01:13:49,155
- Yeah, thank God.
- (SCOFFS)
1959
01:13:49,157 --> 01:13:51,925
Seriously. Have we ever had
a one-on-one conversation?
1960
01:13:51,927 --> 01:13:54,130
Why would we? You seem
like a pretty boring dude.
1961
01:13:55,731 --> 01:13:57,998
You still banging
that blonde cop, or...
1962
01:13:58,000 --> 01:14:01,401
♪ You say you want to finish,
but you never start ♪
1963
01:14:01,403 --> 01:14:04,169
♪ You want to get it finished
but you just try hard ♪
1964
01:14:04,171 --> 01:14:05,374
Where the hell
are they going?
1965
01:14:07,041 --> 01:14:08,208
(MUSIC CONTINUES
PLAYING ON RADIO)
1966
01:14:08,210 --> 01:14:10,343
That was the turn, back there.
1967
01:14:10,345 --> 01:14:12,378
Are you sure?
I don't think so.
1968
01:14:12,380 --> 01:14:14,480
Have you completely lost
your sense of direction?
1969
01:14:14,482 --> 01:14:17,050
Well, your yelling at me
certainly doesn't help!
1970
01:14:17,052 --> 01:14:18,517
Cap's right, Thorn.
That was the turn.
1971
01:14:18,519 --> 01:14:21,120
Shut up, Mr. Perfect.
1972
01:14:21,122 --> 01:14:23,392
- MAC AND O'HAGAN: Whoa!
- (TIRES SCREECHING)
1973
01:14:24,692 --> 01:14:28,061
♪ To broke to pay attention,
better get you some ♪
1974
01:14:28,063 --> 01:14:31,530
♪ When trouble's up,
I double up on bubble gum ♪
1975
01:14:31,532 --> 01:14:32,901
(MUSIC TURNS OFF)
1976
01:14:33,469 --> 01:14:34,537
(SIGHS)
1977
01:14:35,970 --> 01:14:37,540
- (SWITCH CLICKS)
- (ROCK MUSIC RESUMES)
1978
01:14:40,275 --> 01:14:41,775
I saw that!
1979
01:14:41,777 --> 01:14:43,142
Where are those
female sex pills?
1980
01:14:43,144 --> 01:14:44,077
Cap!
1981
01:14:44,079 --> 01:14:45,481
Give them me!
Give them me!
1982
01:14:52,019 --> 01:14:53,222
- Thank you.
- (SIGHS)
1983
01:15:08,237 --> 01:15:10,102
FOSTER: (WHISPERING)
No sign of Rabbit.
1984
01:15:10,104 --> 01:15:12,705
But I got two Mountie cars...
1985
01:15:12,707 --> 01:15:15,608
and our contraband.
1986
01:15:15,610 --> 01:15:16,679
Where the hell's Farva?
1987
01:15:18,879 --> 01:15:20,615
Ah. I got him.
1988
01:15:21,616 --> 01:15:23,182
(FARVA SNEEZES AND FARTS)
1989
01:15:23,184 --> 01:15:26,252
FOSTER: He's like a walking
hydrothermal explosion.
1990
01:15:26,254 --> 01:15:28,591
You want to see
some fartography?
1991
01:15:30,724 --> 01:15:31,858
I'm still gonna go back
1992
01:15:31,860 --> 01:15:33,396
and get that
butter tart yule log.
1993
01:15:34,329 --> 01:15:37,265
All right, boys.
Let's milk this cow.
1994
01:15:43,371 --> 01:15:44,872
(KEYS JANGLING)
1995
01:15:44,874 --> 01:15:46,105
PODEIN: I moved this
stuff the last time.
1996
01:15:46,107 --> 01:15:47,873
BELLEFUILLE: I don't
want to lift it either.
1997
01:15:47,875 --> 01:15:49,109
PODEIN:
You don't move anything.
1998
01:15:49,111 --> 01:15:51,380
You don't move your body,
you don't move boxes.
1999
01:15:53,081 --> 01:15:54,616
(WHISPERING)
One, two, three, go!
2000
01:15:59,155 --> 01:16:00,419
Alright freeze!
You're under arrest!
2001
01:16:00,421 --> 01:16:02,789
Bullshit, eh!
You're under arrest!
2002
01:16:02,791 --> 01:16:04,190
Bullshit,
you fucking smugglers!
2003
01:16:04,192 --> 01:16:06,092
We're not the smugglers!
You're the fucking smugglers.
2004
01:16:06,094 --> 01:16:07,159
We're not
the fucking smugglers!
2005
01:16:07,161 --> 01:16:08,227
You're the fucking smugglers!
2006
01:16:08,229 --> 01:16:09,729
O'HAGAN:
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
2007
01:16:09,731 --> 01:16:11,663
Everyone, lower your weapons!
2008
01:16:11,665 --> 01:16:12,632
Something's not right.
2009
01:16:12,634 --> 01:16:15,901
Wait, wait, wait.
The old-timey one is right.
2010
01:16:15,903 --> 01:16:17,740
Something doesn't add up here.
2011
01:16:18,740 --> 01:16:20,205
- (GROWLS)
- (GRUNTS)
2012
01:16:20,207 --> 01:16:22,376
- THORNY: Oh, shit!
- Die, you fucking smuggler!
2013
01:16:22,378 --> 01:16:23,776
O'HAGAN:
Farva, you idiot!
2014
01:16:23,778 --> 01:16:25,011
(CLAMORING)
2015
01:16:25,013 --> 01:16:27,047
Put the gun down!
Put the gun down!
2016
01:16:27,049 --> 01:16:28,582
Fuck you. Fuck you.
2017
01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:29,449
Put down the fuckin' gun!
2018
01:16:29,451 --> 01:16:31,752
Drop the gun,
I don't want to shoot!
2019
01:16:31,754 --> 01:16:33,319
You fuckin' Canadians!
2020
01:16:33,321 --> 01:16:34,387
Cool.
2021
01:16:34,389 --> 01:16:35,756
(BOTH WHIMPER)
2022
01:16:35,758 --> 01:16:37,226
What the fuck
are you guys doing?
2023
01:16:37,858 --> 01:16:39,294
(LIGHTS SWITCH ON)
2024
01:16:40,763 --> 01:16:43,096
GUY:
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2025
01:16:43,098 --> 01:16:44,730
Apropos, right?
2026
01:16:44,732 --> 01:16:46,332
Go on, kill each other.
2027
01:16:46,334 --> 01:16:49,068
What ever happened to "Shoot
first and ask questions later"?
2028
01:16:49,070 --> 01:16:50,671
Uh, what the shit, Guy?
2029
01:16:50,673 --> 01:16:53,138
Why you tell us these guys
are the smuggler, huh?
2030
01:16:53,140 --> 01:16:54,675
Well, it's a lot smarter
than telling you
2031
01:16:54,677 --> 01:16:56,008
that I'm the smuggler.
2032
01:16:56,010 --> 01:16:58,177
What do you mean,
you're the smuggler?
2033
01:16:58,179 --> 01:17:00,879
I'm sorry, but what else
was I gonna do?
2034
01:17:00,881 --> 01:17:03,048
Being the mayor
of a small Canadian town
2035
01:17:03,050 --> 01:17:04,383
sounds romantic and cool.
2036
01:17:04,385 --> 01:17:06,218
Being the mayor
of a small American town
2037
01:17:06,220 --> 01:17:08,555
sounds like you're a loser.
For reals.
2038
01:17:08,557 --> 01:17:11,358
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- You got to admit it's a good scam.
2039
01:17:11,360 --> 01:17:12,892
All along the borderline.
2040
01:17:12,894 --> 01:17:14,194
But I never would've
thought that
2041
01:17:14,196 --> 01:17:16,296
the guys from
the Fred Savage incident,
2042
01:17:16,298 --> 01:17:18,231
would be the ones
to trip me up.
2043
01:17:18,233 --> 01:17:20,266
These are the cops
that killed Fred Savage?
2044
01:17:20,268 --> 01:17:21,467
Sadly.
2045
01:17:21,469 --> 01:17:26,105
But I will say, this little
rivalry between police forces,
2046
01:17:26,107 --> 01:17:28,208
is the perfect opportunity
to take you both out.
2047
01:17:28,210 --> 01:17:29,775
Well, now we're taking you in.
2048
01:17:29,777 --> 01:17:31,177
(CHUCKLES) I'm sorry.
2049
01:17:31,179 --> 01:17:33,312
But that's not the way
it's going to go.
2050
01:17:33,314 --> 01:17:35,351
Henri, if you
would be so kind.
2051
01:17:37,052 --> 01:17:38,752
- THORNY: No!
- MAC: Oh, Jesus.
2052
01:17:38,754 --> 01:17:41,553
- FARVA: Holy shit!
- And do pay attention to that man behind the curtain.
2053
01:17:41,555 --> 01:17:43,259
(MUFFLED WHIMPERING)
2054
01:17:46,528 --> 01:17:47,828
Your Rabbit
wasn't quick enough.
2055
01:17:47,830 --> 01:17:50,230
Maybe next time,
he'll hop a little faster, eh?
2056
01:17:50,232 --> 01:17:51,398
If anything happens to him,
2057
01:17:51,400 --> 01:17:53,432
I'm gonna fuck you
six ways to Sunday!
2058
01:17:53,434 --> 01:17:57,136
Jeez Louise. Now I know who
gobbled all my Flova Scotia.
2059
01:17:57,138 --> 01:17:58,538
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
2060
01:17:58,540 --> 01:18:00,873
So, drop your guns,
2061
01:18:00,875 --> 01:18:02,909
or the Rabbit
and his girlfriend
2062
01:18:02,911 --> 01:18:06,846
will multiply
in gruesome fashion.
2063
01:18:06,848 --> 01:18:07,849
I'm so sorry.
2064
01:18:09,183 --> 01:18:11,351
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
2065
01:18:11,353 --> 01:18:13,252
Let her go, Guy. She has
nothing to do with this!
2066
01:18:13,254 --> 01:18:14,954
Well, if they put
their guns down,
2067
01:18:14,956 --> 01:18:16,191
no harm will come to her.
2068
01:18:19,728 --> 01:18:20,729
Go on. Drop them.
2069
01:18:21,863 --> 01:18:23,698
(SOFTLY) Drop your guns.
Drop it.
2070
01:18:27,469 --> 01:18:29,305
GUY: Now get those
hands in the air.
2071
01:18:29,972 --> 01:18:31,173
Like you just don't care.
2072
01:18:33,642 --> 01:18:35,074
So, are you ready...
2073
01:18:35,076 --> 01:18:36,445
(STOMPS)
2074
01:18:38,914 --> 01:18:40,249
for the big twist?
2075
01:18:42,483 --> 01:18:43,682
(WHISTLES)
2076
01:18:43,684 --> 01:18:45,120
(SHUDDERING)
2077
01:18:48,890 --> 01:18:50,726
What the fuck?
2078
01:18:52,260 --> 01:18:54,396
What are you doing? What?
2079
01:18:55,263 --> 01:18:57,096
Shut the front door!
2080
01:18:57,098 --> 01:18:58,400
RABBIT:
Genevieve.
2081
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:00,566
What's going on here?
2082
01:19:00,568 --> 01:19:02,302
He'll kill me.
Let me out of my chains.
2083
01:19:02,304 --> 01:19:04,703
What the fuck
took you so long, Guy?
2084
01:19:04,705 --> 01:19:07,306
First I have to have
his circumcised dick in me
2085
01:19:07,308 --> 01:19:09,108
and then you tie me
to this log?
2086
01:19:09,110 --> 01:19:11,179
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
2087
01:19:12,915 --> 01:19:15,317
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
2088
01:19:18,821 --> 01:19:20,252
Are you fucking
kidding me?
2089
01:19:20,254 --> 01:19:22,257
(BIDS GOOD-BYE IN FRENCH)
2090
01:19:23,023 --> 01:19:24,524
I hate you!
2091
01:19:24,526 --> 01:19:25,624
I hate you.
2092
01:19:25,626 --> 01:19:26,629
Shoot them.
2093
01:19:28,563 --> 01:19:29,695
Shoot them all.
2094
01:19:29,697 --> 01:19:30,865
With pleasure, boss.
2095
01:19:32,067 --> 01:19:33,233
FARVA:
Hold on!
2096
01:19:33,235 --> 01:19:37,136
If I'm going down,
I'm going down American!
2097
01:19:37,138 --> 01:19:41,408
♪ Oh say can you sing ♪
2098
01:19:41,410 --> 01:19:45,211
♪ By the dawn's early fight ♪
2099
01:19:45,213 --> 01:19:49,349
♪ What so loudly we sail ♪
2100
01:19:49,351 --> 01:19:53,252
♪ At the nightlife
on the street ♪
2101
01:19:53,254 --> 01:19:57,190
♪ And the red
rocking chair ♪
2102
01:19:57,192 --> 01:20:00,927
♪ The bombs gasping for air ♪
2103
01:20:00,929 --> 01:20:04,064
♪ Gave proof in the life ♪
2104
01:20:04,066 --> 01:20:05,568
All right,
enough with that song.
2105
01:20:06,902 --> 01:20:07,967
Shoot them.
2106
01:20:07,969 --> 01:20:09,405
- (GUNSHOTS)
- (GRUNTS)
2107
01:20:11,705 --> 01:20:13,441
(SCREAMING)
2108
01:20:16,111 --> 01:20:17,780
Hurry, it's about
to slice my johnson!
2109
01:20:22,817 --> 01:20:23,882
This is not happening.
2110
01:20:23,884 --> 01:20:26,222
♪ I got it right now,
but I don't feel it ♪
2111
01:20:28,223 --> 01:20:29,558
(WHIMPERING)
2112
01:20:30,959 --> 01:20:34,093
♪ ♪
2113
01:20:34,095 --> 01:20:35,363
(THORNY YELLING)
2114
01:20:37,631 --> 01:20:39,731
That was a hell
of a thing to do.
2115
01:20:39,733 --> 01:20:42,235
I guess my maternal
instinct is kicking in.
2116
01:20:42,237 --> 01:20:45,105
♪ Go real fast,
I think you got it right now ♪
2117
01:20:45,107 --> 01:20:46,638
- (BULLETS FIRING)
- La vache.
2118
01:20:46,640 --> 01:20:47,807
What?
2119
01:20:47,809 --> 01:20:48,843
Shoot the cow.
2120
01:20:49,777 --> 01:20:50,778
Ah!
2121
01:20:51,812 --> 01:20:57,452
♪ ♪
2122
01:20:58,518 --> 01:21:00,655
Damn it! I'm out of bullets!
2123
01:21:01,122 --> 01:21:02,388
I got one more!
2124
01:21:02,390 --> 01:21:03,592
Make it count!
2125
01:21:10,965 --> 01:21:12,300
Oh!
2126
01:21:12,701 --> 01:21:13,702
Ow.
2127
01:21:14,869 --> 01:21:16,401
(WHIMPERING)
2128
01:21:16,403 --> 01:21:18,504
- (GRUNTING)
- (CHEERING)
2129
01:21:18,506 --> 01:21:19,939
Gotta love that 48th bullet.
2130
01:21:19,941 --> 01:21:21,841
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
Drop it! Drop your weapon!
2131
01:21:21,843 --> 01:21:24,276
ARCHAMBAULT: Come on,
get up from the dirt.
2132
01:21:24,278 --> 01:21:26,745
(SCREAMING)
I'm about to get neutered!
2133
01:21:26,747 --> 01:21:27,846
Hang on!
2134
01:21:27,848 --> 01:21:29,582
Get this outta here!
2135
01:21:29,584 --> 01:21:31,754
(WHIMPERING)
Get me off this!
2136
01:21:33,321 --> 01:21:34,654
I don't think so.
2137
01:21:34,656 --> 01:21:39,059
Okay. Now you've lit the fuse
of the Halifax Explosion.
2138
01:21:39,061 --> 01:21:41,226
Yeah. In my day...
2139
01:21:41,228 --> 01:21:42,828
when your big boy teeth
came in,
2140
01:21:42,830 --> 01:21:45,198
your hockey coach
would pull them out...
2141
01:21:45,200 --> 01:21:46,466
so you wouldn't
miss a shift.
2142
01:21:46,468 --> 01:21:48,534
Yeah? In my country,
2143
01:21:48,536 --> 01:21:50,636
we let the Tooth Fairy
deal with that shit.
2144
01:21:50,638 --> 01:21:53,138
You would know all about
fairies, wouldn't you?
2145
01:21:53,140 --> 01:21:54,340
Okay. Let's do this,
moosefucker.
2146
01:21:54,342 --> 01:21:55,475
Yeah, you want to do it?
2147
01:21:55,477 --> 01:21:56,842
- You wanna go?
- Yeah. Let's go.
2148
01:21:56,844 --> 01:21:59,712
- Yeah. You wanna go? You wanna go?
- Yeah. I wanna go.
2149
01:21:59,714 --> 01:22:02,481
(GRUNTS) Ooh, clip-on.
Little tacky, eh?
2150
01:22:02,483 --> 01:22:04,553
(BOTH GRUNTING)
2151
01:22:17,131 --> 01:22:18,364
Yeah!
2152
01:22:18,366 --> 01:22:19,899
That's one former
hockey player
2153
01:22:19,901 --> 01:22:21,100
who can shut the puck up!
2154
01:22:21,102 --> 01:22:22,168
Right, guys?
2155
01:22:22,170 --> 01:22:23,535
(RABBIT WHIMPERING)
2156
01:22:23,537 --> 01:22:25,607
Shit, that was a good line.
2157
01:22:26,640 --> 01:22:28,641
- (RABBIT SCREAMING)
- (BULLETS RICOCHETING)
2158
01:22:28,643 --> 01:22:30,443
O'HAGAN: Come on, damn it!
2159
01:22:30,445 --> 01:22:31,847
Oh, my God!
2160
01:22:33,514 --> 01:22:35,181
(PANICKED SHOUTING)
2161
01:22:35,183 --> 01:22:37,115
(ALL YELLING)
2162
01:22:37,117 --> 01:22:38,786
(RABBIT SCREAMING)
2163
01:22:41,522 --> 01:22:43,592
(ALL EXCLAIMING AND CHEERING)
2164
01:22:45,160 --> 01:22:46,758
MAC: That's great!
That's great!
2165
01:22:46,760 --> 01:22:48,828
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT) What the
hell is wrong with you guys?
2166
01:22:48,830 --> 01:22:50,997
It's like none of you Yanks
ever operated
2167
01:22:50,999 --> 01:22:53,600
an industrial grade
rotary timber saw, eh?
2168
01:22:53,602 --> 01:22:55,267
Hey! What about your accent?
2169
01:22:55,269 --> 01:23:00,071
Andrea Spooner,
Ontario Provincial Police.
2170
01:23:00,073 --> 01:23:01,708
- What?
- Shut up!
2171
01:23:01,710 --> 01:23:02,711
What?
2172
01:23:04,545 --> 01:23:06,111
- (RABBIT SCREAMING)
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
2173
01:23:06,113 --> 01:23:08,549
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
2174
01:23:12,786 --> 01:23:15,520
GENEVIEVE: Why is the Vermont
Highway Patrol even here?
2175
01:23:15,522 --> 01:23:18,024
I've been undercover
three years.
2176
01:23:18,026 --> 01:23:19,124
Part of a task force...
2177
01:23:19,126 --> 01:23:20,493
with the
Organized Crime Unit
2178
01:23:20,495 --> 01:23:22,395
of the Ontario
Provincial Police.
2179
01:23:22,397 --> 01:23:23,829
She's down with OPP.
2180
01:23:23,831 --> 01:23:27,800
You assholes just blew
three years of work for me.
2181
01:23:27,802 --> 01:23:29,502
I was this close
to getting their supplier.
2182
01:23:29,504 --> 01:23:30,837
Now I'll never get them.
2183
01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:33,239
Well, I'm happy to offer you
full cooperation of our...
2184
01:23:33,241 --> 01:23:34,643
Shut the fuck up!
2185
01:23:35,710 --> 01:23:37,276
Hm.
2186
01:23:37,278 --> 01:23:38,677
- Wow.
- Wow.
2187
01:23:38,679 --> 01:23:40,713
GUY: Hey, guys,
do me a solid, eh?
2188
01:23:40,715 --> 01:23:41,914
When you're sweeping up
back there,
2189
01:23:41,916 --> 01:23:43,315
keep an eye out
for my falsies.
2190
01:23:43,317 --> 01:23:45,284
Nah. You're not
going to need teeth
2191
01:23:45,286 --> 01:23:46,452
where you're going, eh.
2192
01:23:46,454 --> 01:23:48,253
You were our hero, Guy.
2193
01:23:48,255 --> 01:23:49,989
An hockey player
who owned a whorehouse.
2194
01:23:49,991 --> 01:23:51,623
Yeah, and to think
you spent 11 years
2195
01:23:51,625 --> 01:23:52,958
in the Canadian system.
2196
01:23:52,960 --> 01:23:55,560
Newsy Lalonde would be rolling
in his grave right now.
2197
01:23:55,562 --> 01:23:58,230
You would have fit
in good in Calgary, eh.
2198
01:23:58,232 --> 01:23:59,931
Talk about a bunch of goon.
2199
01:23:59,933 --> 01:24:01,635
PODEIN: Especially
that defenseman Bonchance.
2200
01:24:01,637 --> 01:24:03,002
That guy is the worst.
2201
01:24:03,004 --> 01:24:04,169
What a mucker, that guy, eh?
2202
01:24:04,171 --> 01:24:07,440
No, he end up in the QSPHL
by the time he's 38.
2203
01:24:07,442 --> 01:24:09,044
Boring!
2204
01:24:09,678 --> 01:24:12,514
(GROANING)
Easy! Easy!
2205
01:24:12,847 --> 01:24:14,114
Ah! Oh!
2206
01:24:14,116 --> 01:24:15,681
There he is!
2207
01:24:15,683 --> 01:24:17,516
They wrapped you
in the Japanese flag.
2208
01:24:17,518 --> 01:24:19,517
(CONTINUES GROANING)
2209
01:24:19,519 --> 01:24:21,587
Hey, man,
thanks for saving my life.
2210
01:24:21,589 --> 01:24:23,855
I don't know what I would
have done without you.
2211
01:24:23,857 --> 01:24:26,124
Oh, that's okay,
I don't need a hug. (GROANS)
2212
01:24:26,126 --> 01:24:27,562
It's not for you.
2213
01:24:30,264 --> 01:24:31,467
Okay.
2214
01:24:32,666 --> 01:24:35,504
RABBIT: (GROANING)
Careful, careful, careful!
2215
01:24:40,207 --> 01:24:42,074
Dude, are you lactating?
2216
01:24:42,076 --> 01:24:45,944
I'm just doing what my body
tells me to do, okay?
2217
01:24:45,946 --> 01:24:48,381
(CHUCKLES) Okay, Thorn.
You're the tits!
2218
01:24:48,383 --> 01:24:49,949
Good luck with
the wet T-shirt contest.
2219
01:24:49,951 --> 01:24:51,687
(BOTH LAUGHING)
2220
01:25:05,967 --> 01:25:07,102
Men.
2221
01:25:09,571 --> 01:25:10,904
How are ya feelin'?
2222
01:25:10,906 --> 01:25:12,571
Oh, it's okay.
2223
01:25:12,573 --> 01:25:15,041
I'm so sorry about saying
"I hate you" back there.
2224
01:25:15,043 --> 01:25:17,409
Yeah. I know.
I'm sorry I lied.
2225
01:25:17,411 --> 01:25:18,810
I just can't believe
I didn't know.
2226
01:25:18,812 --> 01:25:21,717
Well, you were very sweet,
but also very gullible.
2227
01:25:27,589 --> 01:25:29,455
Maybe you and I
could get together
2228
01:25:29,457 --> 01:25:32,292
and listen to some
old-timey French music...
2229
01:25:32,294 --> 01:25:34,360
when that gets
all healed up.
2230
01:25:34,362 --> 01:25:35,597
Yeah, sure.
2231
01:25:39,299 --> 01:25:40,936
Fuckin' Canadian.
2232
01:25:42,103 --> 01:25:43,668
(CHUCKLES)
2233
01:25:43,670 --> 01:25:47,472
- Give me 50 cc's of morphine, shaving cream and a razor.
- A razor for what?
2234
01:25:47,474 --> 01:25:49,042
To remove the hair
from your testicles.
2235
01:25:49,044 --> 01:25:50,109
I have to stitch you up.
2236
01:25:50,111 --> 01:25:51,776
RABBIT: (STAMMERS) Why would
you need to stitch me up?
2237
01:25:51,778 --> 01:25:53,046
It's like a paper cut.
2238
01:25:53,048 --> 01:25:55,047
All we need to do is get
a little Band-Aid. Hey, guys!
2239
01:25:55,049 --> 01:25:56,181
Happy trails!
2240
01:25:56,183 --> 01:25:59,151
Looks like the rook's getting
his nuts shaved after all.
2241
01:25:59,153 --> 01:26:01,022
(ALL LAUGHING)
2242
01:26:01,688 --> 01:26:03,758
(RABBIT SCREAMING)
2243
01:26:05,360 --> 01:26:07,493
- Who wants coffee?
- Sounds good.
2244
01:26:07,495 --> 01:26:08,863
(HORN HONKS)
2245
01:26:14,235 --> 01:26:15,670
Captain O'Hagan!
2246
01:26:16,972 --> 01:26:19,972
I hear you and your men
did some good work.
2247
01:26:19,974 --> 01:26:22,809
We did.
We caught the smugglers.
2248
01:26:22,811 --> 01:26:23,876
Again.
2249
01:26:23,878 --> 01:26:25,310
(YELLS)
2250
01:26:25,312 --> 01:26:26,878
- (SCREAMING)
- (SQUELCHING)
2251
01:26:26,880 --> 01:26:28,381
What the hell was that?
2252
01:26:28,383 --> 01:26:30,516
FARVA:
Oh, shit.
2253
01:26:30,518 --> 01:26:32,020
(LAUGHING)
2254
01:26:33,454 --> 01:26:36,788
Done and done.
(GROANING)
2255
01:26:36,790 --> 01:26:39,958
This little piggy cried,
"God damn! That hurt!"
2256
01:26:39,960 --> 01:26:40,825
(LAUGHS)
2257
01:26:40,827 --> 01:26:42,529
What the hell happened to you?
2258
01:26:42,531 --> 01:26:44,497
Ah. I just lost a pussy bet.
2259
01:26:44,499 --> 01:26:46,164
If I "toed" ya,
I'd have to kill ya.
2260
01:26:46,166 --> 01:26:47,400
(LAUGHS) Oh!
2261
01:26:47,402 --> 01:26:49,068
Watch the hoof! Ow!
Watch the hoof!
2262
01:26:49,070 --> 01:26:50,403
- (STUN GUN CRACKLING)
- (FARVA SCREAMING)
2263
01:26:50,405 --> 01:26:53,672
Officers! Cassandra Anne
Gacek, Action Five News.
2264
01:26:53,674 --> 01:26:55,574
Given your involvement
with this bust
2265
01:26:55,576 --> 01:26:56,842
how does it feel to know
2266
01:26:56,844 --> 01:26:58,613
that you are still
being replaced?
2267
01:26:59,946 --> 01:27:04,784
Uh, you know, when they first
arrive I am wondering:
2268
01:27:04,786 --> 01:27:06,318
"Who are these people
2269
01:27:06,320 --> 01:27:08,520
they come here
taked our land?"
2270
01:27:08,522 --> 01:27:11,226
But then I have it,
my answer, huh.
2271
01:27:13,995 --> 01:27:16,462
They are heroes.
2272
01:27:16,464 --> 01:27:17,863
CROWD: Aw!
2273
01:27:17,865 --> 01:27:22,168
These men... they putted their
life on the line for us.
2274
01:27:22,170 --> 01:27:25,739
One of them,
he even saved my life.
2275
01:27:25,741 --> 01:27:29,242
This tan guy here
with the wet tits.
2276
01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:30,208
(CROWD LAUGHS)
2277
01:27:30,210 --> 01:27:33,178
- But we hate Americans!
- I hear you. I hear you.
2278
01:27:33,180 --> 01:27:34,547
But I have to tell you...
2279
01:27:34,549 --> 01:27:36,516
if these gentlemen
are an example
2280
01:27:36,518 --> 01:27:39,017
of what it means
to be American...
2281
01:27:39,019 --> 01:27:39,952
I'm okay.
2282
01:27:39,954 --> 01:27:42,187
Then I am proud to be
an American too.
2283
01:27:42,189 --> 01:27:45,257
- All right.
- I am. I'm proud to be American.
2284
01:27:45,259 --> 01:27:47,627
So, we're leaving
to start our station up north.
2285
01:27:47,629 --> 01:27:48,860
But I say
with great confidence
2286
01:27:48,862 --> 01:27:50,096
that we couldn't leave you
in better hands
2287
01:27:50,098 --> 01:27:53,666
than in those
of the Vermont Highway Patrol.
2288
01:27:53,668 --> 01:27:55,970
(ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
2289
01:27:58,406 --> 01:28:01,408
How does it feel to be the coolest
motherfucker on this planet?
2290
01:28:01,410 --> 01:28:04,310
You tell me, buddy.
You tell me.
2291
01:28:04,312 --> 01:28:07,646
- (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
- CROWD: Aw.
2292
01:28:07,648 --> 01:28:09,950
JESSMAN:
Uh, yeah. Excuse me.
2293
01:28:10,285 --> 01:28:11,318
Hold on.
2294
01:28:12,620 --> 01:28:14,787
Actually,
I'm here to tell you
2295
01:28:14,789 --> 01:28:16,890
that the U.S.
and Canadian governments
2296
01:28:16,892 --> 01:28:19,124
have decided to postpone
the turnover
2297
01:28:19,126 --> 01:28:22,160
until the rest of the
hidden contraband is found.
2298
01:28:22,162 --> 01:28:24,596
- (CROWD GASPS)
- CASSANDRA: So, wait.
2299
01:28:24,598 --> 01:28:27,132
Are we Canadians
or are we Americans?
2300
01:28:27,134 --> 01:28:29,767
You're still Canadians
for now.
2301
01:28:29,769 --> 01:28:33,038
And that's going
to continue indefinitely.
2302
01:28:33,040 --> 01:28:34,242
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
Sorry.
2303
01:28:35,143 --> 01:28:37,012
(ALL CLAMORING)
2304
01:28:38,312 --> 01:28:41,948
Okay, so we are now in control
of this area again, eh?
2305
01:28:41,950 --> 01:28:44,117
No, no.
We both have authority.
2306
01:28:44,119 --> 01:28:45,685
You got the authority
to go take
2307
01:28:45,687 --> 01:28:47,119
a flying fuck
at a rolling doughnut.
2308
01:28:47,121 --> 01:28:49,154
Hey, we just saved your lives,
you remember that?
2309
01:28:49,156 --> 01:28:50,788
BELLEFUILLE:
We have an expression here.
2310
01:28:50,790 --> 01:28:52,958
It go, "What have you done
for me lately?"
2311
01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:54,394
Yeah, maybe
we'll haul your ass
2312
01:28:54,396 --> 01:28:55,560
back out to the woods naked.
2313
01:28:55,562 --> 01:28:58,596
Or maybe we could burn down
your White House again! Eh?
2314
01:28:58,598 --> 01:28:59,931
What the hell does that mean?
2315
01:28:59,933 --> 01:29:02,702
The War of 1812, eh.
Learn your history.
2316
01:29:02,704 --> 01:29:04,406
- (GRUNTS)
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
2317
01:29:06,174 --> 01:29:09,007
Oh! You punched the mustache
right off his face!
2318
01:29:09,009 --> 01:29:11,711
No, no, no! Look,
he's wearing a postiche, eh!
2319
01:29:11,713 --> 01:29:13,846
(ALL LAUGHING)
2320
01:29:13,848 --> 01:29:15,681
You shut up about his
postiche, come on!
2321
01:29:15,683 --> 01:29:16,985
(ALL GRUNTING)
2322
01:29:18,753 --> 01:29:22,186
♪ Well, she was,
she was, she was ♪
2323
01:29:22,188 --> 01:29:25,824
♪ She was blinded
by the light ♪
2324
01:29:25,826 --> 01:29:27,426
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2325
01:29:27,428 --> 01:29:29,729
♪ Another runner
in the night ♪
2326
01:29:29,731 --> 01:29:32,931
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2327
01:29:32,933 --> 01:29:34,766
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2328
01:29:34,768 --> 01:29:36,836
♪ Another runner
in the night ♪
2329
01:29:36,838 --> 01:29:40,071
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2330
01:29:40,073 --> 01:29:41,574
♪ Revved up like a... ♪
2331
01:29:41,576 --> 01:29:42,778
(MUSIC STOPS)
2332
01:29:45,914 --> 01:29:47,154
- (CAT MEOWS)
- What do you got?
2333
01:29:47,781 --> 01:29:48,814
Cat in a tree.
2334
01:29:48,816 --> 01:29:51,318
- (CAT MEOWS)
- THORNY: Ah, yeah.
2335
01:29:51,952 --> 01:29:53,052
Hey, Fred Savage.
2336
01:29:53,054 --> 01:29:54,787
- How's it going?
- Macintyre Womack.
2337
01:29:54,789 --> 01:29:56,189
Oh, pleasure to meet you,
Officer.
2338
01:29:56,191 --> 01:29:56,954
Carl Foster.
2339
01:29:56,956 --> 01:29:58,457
Nice to meet you. Fred.
2340
01:29:58,459 --> 01:30:00,126
So, what's with the ride-along?
You got a cop movie coming out?
2341
01:30:00,128 --> 01:30:02,293
Uh, no, it's actually a new
show for the Syfy Channel.
2342
01:30:02,295 --> 01:30:05,832
Kind of a small-town alien
invasion show called Vermonsters.
2343
01:30:05,834 --> 01:30:07,365
- ALL: Oh!
- I'd see that.
2344
01:30:07,367 --> 01:30:08,801
So, do you guys spend
a lot of time
2345
01:30:08,803 --> 01:30:10,435
getting, um,
cats out of trees?
2346
01:30:10,437 --> 01:30:12,303
Is that kinda the job?
2347
01:30:12,305 --> 01:30:14,205
No, we get the call and then
we call the Fire Department.
2348
01:30:14,207 --> 01:30:15,909
- They get the damn thing out.
- Oh.
2349
01:30:15,911 --> 01:30:18,543
Could I actually trouble you
for a quick selfie?
2350
01:30:18,545 --> 01:30:20,945
- (BOTH CHUCKLING)
- I'm a big Princess Bride fan.
2351
01:30:20,947 --> 01:30:22,080
SAVAGE:
Yes. My pleasure.
2352
01:30:22,082 --> 01:30:23,649
That was my "get laid movie"
in high school.
2353
01:30:23,651 --> 01:30:25,184
Oh! You're welcome.
2354
01:30:25,186 --> 01:30:26,718
- MAC AND SAVAGE: Buttercup!
- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
2355
01:30:26,720 --> 01:30:27,787
Holy shit!
2356
01:30:27,789 --> 01:30:28,686
- Did you get it?
- MAC: Nailed it.
2357
01:30:28,688 --> 01:30:30,256
Fred fuckin' Savage, huh?
2358
01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:32,123
- Uh, yes. That's me.
- He's right here! Look at him!
2359
01:30:32,125 --> 01:30:33,626
- Yeah, we know.
- SAVAGE: How are ya?
2360
01:30:33,628 --> 01:30:34,927
You still with Winnie?
2361
01:30:34,929 --> 01:30:37,029
Uh, no, no. Just a...
just a show, man.
2362
01:30:37,031 --> 01:30:39,164
- I call sloppy seconds!
- Okay, great.
2363
01:30:39,166 --> 01:30:41,033
I think I'm gonna get the cat.
I'm gonna get the cat.
2364
01:30:41,035 --> 01:30:42,400
Mr. Savage,
we can't let you do that,
2365
01:30:42,402 --> 01:30:43,302
because, you know, well,
2366
01:30:43,304 --> 01:30:44,537
we're responsible
for your safety.
2367
01:30:44,539 --> 01:30:46,105
Don't worry about it.
I'm an expert climber.
2368
01:30:46,107 --> 01:30:47,873
Remember the movie
Super Monkey?
2369
01:30:47,875 --> 01:30:49,242
ALL: Yeah.
2370
01:30:49,244 --> 01:30:50,542
I did all my own stunts
in that movie.
2371
01:30:50,544 --> 01:30:51,642
I'm good with the trees.
2372
01:30:51,644 --> 01:30:52,744
- Okay.
- (CAT MEOWS)
2373
01:30:52,746 --> 01:30:53,846
(GRUNTS)
2374
01:30:53,848 --> 01:30:56,414
Look at him go. Wow.
2375
01:30:56,416 --> 01:30:58,984
SAVAGE: I can see it!
I got the cat.
2376
01:30:58,986 --> 01:31:00,586
Take it easy, Mr. Savage.
2377
01:31:00,588 --> 01:31:02,288
I thought Super Monkey sucked.
2378
01:31:02,290 --> 01:31:04,155
Yeah. And the monkeys
were so fuckin' fake.
2379
01:31:04,157 --> 01:31:06,324
- A.O. Scott said the plot was bananas.
- SAVAGE: Hey, buddy.
2380
01:31:06,326 --> 01:31:08,026
Hey, you know,
I can hear you guys.
2381
01:31:08,028 --> 01:31:09,461
Alright, you should try
acting in a movie
2382
01:31:09,463 --> 01:31:11,462
and doing your own stunts.
It's really hard!
2383
01:31:11,464 --> 01:31:13,699
- (LAUGHS) Sure.
- All right, don't be dicks.
2384
01:31:13,701 --> 01:31:15,266
- (BRANCHES SNAP)
- (YELPS)
2385
01:31:15,268 --> 01:31:17,203
- (SAVAGE GROANING)
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
2386
01:31:17,205 --> 01:31:19,271
(THUDDING)
2387
01:31:19,273 --> 01:31:20,707
(YELLS, GRUNTS)
2388
01:31:20,709 --> 01:31:21,940
(EXHALES) Woo!
2389
01:31:21,942 --> 01:31:23,542
(ALL CHEERING)
2390
01:31:23,544 --> 01:31:24,743
Did you see that shit?!
2391
01:31:24,745 --> 01:31:25,810
(ALL LAUGH)
2392
01:31:25,812 --> 01:31:27,779
Any of you motherfuckers
want some pussy?
2393
01:31:27,781 --> 01:31:29,548
- What's up?!
- (ALL CHEER)
2394
01:31:29,550 --> 01:31:30,682
(HORN BLARES)
2395
01:31:30,684 --> 01:31:31,950
(ALL GASP)
2396
01:31:31,952 --> 01:31:34,155
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
2397
01:31:52,773 --> 01:31:55,074
♪ Madman drummers bummers ♪
2398
01:31:55,076 --> 01:31:56,309
♪ Indians in the summer ♪
2399
01:31:56,311 --> 01:31:59,811
♪ With a teenage diplomat ♪
2400
01:31:59,813 --> 01:32:01,748
♪ In the dumps
with the mumps ♪
2401
01:32:01,750 --> 01:32:03,349
♪ As the adolescent pumps ♪
2402
01:32:03,351 --> 01:32:06,586
♪ His way into his hat ♪
2403
01:32:06,588 --> 01:32:08,753
♪ With a boulder
on my shoulder ♪
2404
01:32:08,755 --> 01:32:10,321
♪ Feelin' kinda older ♪
2405
01:32:10,323 --> 01:32:13,592
♪ I tripped the
merry-go-round ♪
2406
01:32:13,594 --> 01:32:15,860
♪ With this
very unpleasin' ♪
2407
01:32:15,862 --> 01:32:17,529
♪ Sneezin' and wheezin' ♪
2408
01:32:17,531 --> 01:32:21,201
♪ The calliope
crashed to the ground ♪
2409
01:32:30,946 --> 01:32:34,180
♪ The calliope
crashed to the ground ♪
2410
01:32:34,182 --> 01:32:38,650
♪ Yeah, she was
blinded by the light ♪
2411
01:32:38,652 --> 01:32:40,351
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2412
01:32:40,353 --> 01:32:42,355
♪ Another runner
in the night ♪
2413
01:32:42,357 --> 01:32:45,757
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2414
01:32:45,759 --> 01:32:47,391
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2415
01:32:47,393 --> 01:32:49,694
♪ Another runner
in the night ♪
2416
01:32:49,696 --> 01:32:52,830
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2417
01:32:52,832 --> 01:32:54,565
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2418
01:32:54,567 --> 01:32:56,769
♪ Another runner
in the night ♪
2419
01:32:56,771 --> 01:33:00,108
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2420
01:33:02,977 --> 01:33:05,410
♪ Some silicone sister ♪
2421
01:33:05,412 --> 01:33:07,378
♪ With a manager mister ♪
2422
01:33:07,380 --> 01:33:10,283
♪ Told me
I got what it takes ♪
2423
01:33:10,285 --> 01:33:14,052
♪ She said "I'll turn you on
sonny to something strong ♪
2424
01:33:14,054 --> 01:33:17,221
♪ Play the song
with the funky breaks" ♪
2425
01:33:17,223 --> 01:33:19,324
♪ And go-cart Mozart ♪
2426
01:33:19,326 --> 01:33:21,459
♪ Was checkin' out
the weather chart ♪
2427
01:33:21,461 --> 01:33:24,363
♪ See if it was
safe outside ♪
2428
01:33:24,365 --> 01:33:28,300
♪ And little early-pearly
came by in his curly-wurly ♪
2429
01:33:28,302 --> 01:33:32,206
♪ And asked me
if I needed a ride ♪
2430
01:33:41,715 --> 01:33:44,617
♪ The calliope
crashed to the ground ♪
2431
01:33:44,619 --> 01:33:49,187
♪ Yeah, she was
blinded by the light ♪
2432
01:33:49,189 --> 01:33:50,955
♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪
2433
01:33:50,957 --> 01:33:53,159
♪ Another runner
in the night ♪
2434
01:33:53,161 --> 01:33:56,364
♪ Blinded by the light ♪
2435
01:34:02,170 --> 01:34:04,404
JAY: (ON RADIO) You reach
for your ticket book.
2436
01:34:04,406 --> 01:34:05,337
I got ya. Okay.
2437
01:34:05,339 --> 01:34:07,808
'Scuse me. Sorry.
(CHUCKLES) Sorry.
2438
01:34:08,709 --> 01:34:10,309
(SPITS)
2439
01:34:10,311 --> 01:34:12,243
Don't worry about it.
Hold that for me.
2440
01:34:12,245 --> 01:34:13,611
- JAY: Here we go. Ready?
- Yeah.
2441
01:34:13,613 --> 01:34:16,015
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
2442
01:34:16,017 --> 01:34:17,552
(HORSE NEIGHS)
2443
01:34:18,853 --> 01:34:21,287
- (SPEAKING FRENCH)
- (HORSE WHINNIES)
2444
01:34:21,289 --> 01:34:24,489
- (SPEAKING FRENCH)
- (HORSE NICKERS)
2445
01:34:24,491 --> 01:34:27,226
- (SPEAKING FRENCH) Ooh!
- (HORSE WHINNIES)
2446
01:34:27,228 --> 01:34:29,194
I can't believe it's a crime
down in the U.S.
2447
01:34:29,196 --> 01:34:31,363
to drink beer
and enjoy tits and dick.
2448
01:34:31,365 --> 01:34:34,533
I mean, beep beep!
There's no harm there.
2449
01:34:34,535 --> 01:34:36,802
I mean... (IMITATES BUZZER)
There's no harm there.
2450
01:34:36,804 --> 01:34:39,441
(IMITATING PUNCHING BAG)
It's a good workout, eh.
2451
01:34:41,308 --> 01:34:42,908
JAY: Cut. I could do that
all night.
2452
01:34:42,910 --> 01:34:44,877
- I know...
- (ALL LAUGHING)
2453
01:34:44,879 --> 01:34:46,944
JAY:
And action!
2454
01:34:46,946 --> 01:34:48,713
- Oh!
- (ALL LAUGHING)
2455
01:34:48,715 --> 01:34:51,050
That's how easy it is.
2456
01:34:51,052 --> 01:34:52,717
Oh! Jesus Christ.
Motherfucker.
2457
01:34:52,719 --> 01:34:55,788
What do we got, till lunch?
We got till lunch?
2458
01:34:55,790 --> 01:34:56,855
- JAY: Action.
- (BALLOON POPS)
2459
01:34:56,857 --> 01:34:58,091
- Oh!
- (ALL LAUGH)
2460
01:34:58,093 --> 01:35:01,493
Which one of you guys
has a, le, a le seniority?
2461
01:35:01,495 --> 01:35:03,561
(ALL LAUGHING)
2462
01:35:03,563 --> 01:35:05,467
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
2463
01:35:07,300 --> 01:35:09,435
JAY: You got to blow
those cheeks out.
2464
01:35:09,437 --> 01:35:10,502
Okay.
2465
01:35:10,504 --> 01:35:14,138
I think I have some of your
mustache in my mouth.
2466
01:35:14,140 --> 01:35:15,708
Where's your asshole?
2467
01:35:15,710 --> 01:35:18,377
STEVE LEMME: It's right about...
right there.
2468
01:35:18,379 --> 01:35:19,811
Just follow the heat.
2469
01:35:19,813 --> 01:35:23,048
First you steal our job
and now you sit here
2470
01:35:23,050 --> 01:35:24,783
getting a sensual massage
from a chair
2471
01:35:24,785 --> 01:35:28,619
in the center of the mall
with our women.
2472
01:35:28,621 --> 01:35:31,356
JAY: (LAUGHS)
Can you shorten that?
2473
01:35:31,358 --> 01:35:33,158
No, that's the only way
I can say it.
2474
01:35:33,160 --> 01:35:35,761
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jeez Louise.
2475
01:35:35,763 --> 01:35:38,196
Now I know who gobbled up
all my Lava Scotia.
2476
01:35:38,198 --> 01:35:39,364
JAY:
Uh, Flova Scotia.
2477
01:35:39,366 --> 01:35:41,800
Now I know who gobbled up
all my Flava Scotia.
2478
01:35:41,802 --> 01:35:43,903
- JAY: Uh, Flo, uh, Flova.
- Flova. God damn it.
2479
01:35:43,905 --> 01:35:45,104
All my Flava Scotia.
2480
01:35:45,106 --> 01:35:47,273
- All my Flava Scotia.
- JAY: (LAUGHING) Flova.
2481
01:35:47,275 --> 01:35:49,141
I'm gonna get it. Nova. Flova.
2482
01:35:49,143 --> 01:35:52,110
Now I know who gobbled up
all my Flava Scotia.
2483
01:35:52,112 --> 01:35:54,079
- Close?
- JAY: No. Not really.
2484
01:35:54,081 --> 01:35:56,280
(SHOUTING IN FRENCH)
2485
01:35:56,282 --> 01:35:58,484
What about this?!
What about this, huh?!
2486
01:35:58,486 --> 01:36:00,084
Didn't we
do that to like
2487
01:36:00,086 --> 01:36:01,886
a skinny blond guy
with a big forehead?
2488
01:36:01,888 --> 01:36:02,988
Smelled like bacon?
2489
01:36:02,990 --> 01:36:04,623
Always yakking about
Hot Pockets?
2490
01:36:04,625 --> 01:36:05,824
That was me.
2491
01:36:05,826 --> 01:36:07,959
You asked if I saw you
2492
01:36:07,961 --> 01:36:10,361
jumping around
all mimbly bimbly...
2493
01:36:10,363 --> 01:36:11,963
You asked if I saw you
2494
01:36:11,965 --> 01:36:14,800
jumping around
all nimby, ni...
2495
01:36:14,802 --> 01:36:16,668
All nibbily-bimbly.
2496
01:36:16,670 --> 01:36:18,537
Sorry, what...
It's nimbly-bimbly.
2497
01:36:18,539 --> 01:36:20,506
- STEVE LEMME: Come on, Gaffigan!
- (ALL LAUGHING)
2498
01:36:20,508 --> 01:36:24,142
- (GRUNTS)
- Idiot. (GRUNTS)
2499
01:36:24,144 --> 01:36:29,315
Bon vivant bouillabaisse,
croissant, le chicken cordon bleu?
2500
01:36:29,317 --> 01:36:31,749
JAY:
Eh, that's a little much.
2501
01:36:31,751 --> 01:36:34,218
- This one says "Tiger Penis".
- FARVA: Suck it!
2502
01:36:34,220 --> 01:36:36,887
- Shut up, Farva.
- Sorry. It's just funny.
2503
01:36:36,889 --> 01:36:39,691
Eh... (STAMMERING)
2504
01:36:39,693 --> 01:36:41,360
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
What the shit, Guy?
2505
01:36:41,362 --> 01:36:42,694
Why you tell us
they are the smuggler...
2506
01:36:42,696 --> 01:36:45,696
- Sorry, I'm sorry.
- (ALL LAUGHING)
2507
01:36:45,698 --> 01:36:47,902
(CONTINUING IN FRENCH ACCENT)
Uh... Eh...
2508
01:36:48,869 --> 01:36:51,168
All right. All right.
Here we go, here we go.
2509
01:36:51,170 --> 01:36:52,837
- Just gotta find it.
- Yeah, I got it.
2510
01:36:52,839 --> 01:36:54,575
Uh...
2511
01:36:55,576 --> 01:36:57,445
(ALL LAUGHING)
2512
01:36:58,077 --> 01:37:01,078
Uh... Eh...
2513
01:37:01,080 --> 01:37:03,748
Sorry. I'm totally...
Okay, okay.
2514
01:37:03,750 --> 01:37:04,850
Hey, cut it.
2515
01:37:04,852 --> 01:37:06,586
(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
2516
01:37:06,588 --> 01:37:08,988
(ALL APPLAUDING)
2517
01:37:08,990 --> 01:37:12,591
♪ She got down,
but she never got tight ♪
2518
01:37:12,593 --> 01:37:16,227
♪ She's gonna make it ♪
2519
01:37:16,229 --> 01:37:20,265
♪ Through the night ♪
2520
01:37:20,267 --> 01:37:21,803
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
2521
01:37:35,214 --> 01:37:38,417
♪ What a drag ♪
2522
01:37:38,419 --> 01:37:42,924
♪ Sittin' here at home
on Saturday night ♪
2523
01:37:44,157 --> 01:37:46,891
♪ And I'm alone ♪
2524
01:37:46,893 --> 01:37:51,562
♪ Just staring at my phone
trying to make it ring ♪
2525
01:37:51,564 --> 01:37:54,498
♪ Wish I had a friend ♪
2526
01:37:54,500 --> 01:37:56,937
♪ I can tell my jokes to ♪
2527
01:37:59,874 --> 01:38:02,673
♪ My truck ♪
2528
01:38:02,675 --> 01:38:05,444
♪ Is runnin' pretty rough ♪
2529
01:38:05,446 --> 01:38:08,346
♪ It don't matter much ♪
2530
01:38:08,348 --> 01:38:11,684
♪ I'm out of gas ♪
2531
01:38:11,686 --> 01:38:16,320
♪ If I had a tank,
I'd take a ride ♪
2532
01:38:16,322 --> 01:38:19,158
♪ But I don't know
where to ♪
2533
01:38:19,160 --> 01:38:21,528
♪ Great Saturday night ♪
2534
01:38:24,397 --> 01:38:26,900
(VOCALIZING)
2535
01:38:33,374 --> 01:38:35,576
♪ Saturday night ♪
2536
01:38:38,112 --> 01:38:40,915
(VOCALIZING)
2537
01:38:46,920 --> 01:38:49,456
♪ Saturday night ♪
2538
01:39:00,397 --> 01:39:05,397
Subtitles by explosiveskull
Resync by GoldenBeard
2539
01:39:07,540 --> 01:39:10,344
(SONG PLAYING ON RADIO)
2540
01:39:11,112 --> 01:39:12,580
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
2541
01:39:16,784 --> 01:39:19,821
(WHIRRING)
2542
01:39:22,790 --> 01:39:23,791
(SIGHS)
2543
01:39:24,892 --> 01:39:26,494
(GULPING)
2544
01:39:28,195 --> 01:39:29,597
Mm-mm.
184315
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