Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:21,580
I couldn't sleep last night
for the wife snoring.
2
00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:23,900
Didn't you give her a nudge?
3
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:26,540
She's in the next bedroom!
4
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:30,220
Have you always been that close(?)
5
00:00:30,220 --> 00:00:33,000
She sleeps with her sister.
6
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,560
She says I'm the wrong temperature
to sleep with.
7
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:40,620
I think she's hinting
that your thermostat has gone.
8
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:43,060
What temperature does she like?
9
00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:45,200
Subtropical.
10
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,660
I keep thinking
there's a monsoon any minute.
11
00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:51,180
They like to be warm.
12
00:00:51,180 --> 00:00:56,900
That generation had more clothes on
in bed than they wear
for going out these days.
13
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:02,120
You needed the honeymoon
just to find your way about.
14
00:01:06,340 --> 00:01:08,280
What you doing, Alvin?
15
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,420
Eh? Oh! I'm prospecting -
looking for gold.
16
00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:19,000
What a wonderful grasp
of the unlikely the man has.
..Have you found any yet?
17
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,280
I've only started.
It can take years.
18
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,900
That's a long time
to have your feet in water.
19
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:28,560
I'm wearing two pairs of socks.
20
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:34,060
Alvin, you've got your health,
strength and two pairs of socks -
21
00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:37,280
what more could a man ask(?)
22
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:42,400
If you find any gold, don't forget -
it's no good unless it's hallmarked.
23
00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:03,420
PHONE RINGS
24
00:02:03,420 --> 00:02:05,920
Mortgage department. Barry?
25
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:10,020
Glenda? What's wrong? Is it a fire?
Are you all right?
26
00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:12,400
Did you get my golf clubs out?
27
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:16,120
We haven't had a fire,
we've had a surprise.
28
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:20,460
That competition you entered -
you won! Great! What did I win?
29
00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:22,940
Something really useful -
30
00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:25,740
a model of a dinosaur.
31
00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:28,960
You don't like it?
32
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:33,120
How did you guess? Get yourself
home and do something with it.
33
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:37,380
What do you do with a dinosaur?
Getting rid of it springs to mind!
34
00:02:37,380 --> 00:02:39,500
Come and get it, Barry!
35
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,620
Maybe you'll grow to like it.
36
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:44,660
Come home! Now, Barry! Glenda, I...
37
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:52,200
It's true what they say -
women are different.
38
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,440
They don't like the same things
as we do.
39
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,840
How can you not like
a model dinosaur?
40
00:03:31,140 --> 00:03:33,660
Another three inches...
41
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:35,320
Thanks.
42
00:03:40,580 --> 00:03:43,180
Right, let's hear it.
43
00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:45,280
What's the story?
44
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:49,080
I was just thinking...
in the event of fire,
45
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:52,180
we ought to have a ladder
permanently upstairs.
46
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:56,440
YOU need something
permanently upstairs.
47
00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:00,680
Get yourself back upstairs
and get those jobs finished.
48
00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:04,440
Ey-up, Howard.
49
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,800
Do you really need all that
to reach Marina?
50
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,140
Keep your voice down -
walls have ears.
51
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:16,020
And these ears have walls
that need wiping down.
52
00:04:16,020 --> 00:04:18,220
Come on in, and get on with it!
53
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:27,120
Is there any truth in the rumour
that your good lady invented radar?
54
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,240
They all have it,
even in the next bedroom.
55
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:34,560
There's no answer to it, except
an honest face and a ready lie.
56
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:39,300
Listen, I'm being held prisoner
by the lady of the house.
57
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:42,120
I was wondering if... No, Howard.
58
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:46,040
You've not heard it yet.
We've heard it all before, Howard.
59
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:49,780
I wouldn't ask,
only it's an emergency.
60
00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:52,460
How is the emergency? Well?
61
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,040
Things have to be kept quiet.
62
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:59,740
All I can tell you is that
I've forgotten someone's birthday.
63
00:04:59,740 --> 00:05:05,760
I can't get out to buy anything,
and I wondered if some kind friend
might pick up something for me.
64
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:10,160
What sort of something?
Something suitable for a lady.
65
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:14,300
Oh, well, that lets me out -
it's too complicated for me.
66
00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:19,880
How much are you spending?
I think it's the sentiment
that counts.
67
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,860
You don't have to go mad.
I see. The floor's the limit.
68
00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:26,600
I'll have to go back.
69
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:30,860
I'm only out on yard exercise.
Don't let me down.
70
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:35,880
He lives an interesting life
for a small, dozy idiot.
71
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:40,080
I just wish he'd conduct
his love-life on a personal basis.
72
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,520
I think WE see more of Marina
than he does!
73
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:59,320
Where is it? It's in the garage.
74
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:03,180
You REALLY don't like it.
I can't think why you wanted it.
75
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:09,180
I thought it might look great
on our bedside table. No, you will
not put it on our bedside table.
76
00:06:09,180 --> 00:06:11,620
OK. I'll keep it in the office.
77
00:06:15,780 --> 00:06:18,700
Did anybody see it being delivered?
78
00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:21,000
Get rid of it.
79
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,420
I thought it would be small
and cuddly.
80
00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:26,820
No, Barry, that's me.
81
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:29,280
Get rid of it!
82
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,220
HE TUTS
83
00:06:41,340 --> 00:06:43,580
What's the matter, woman?!
84
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:47,120
Stupid lummox! Look at my dust!
85
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:51,160
What are you doing, dressed
like that?! I'm walking the river.
86
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,900
Oh, I suppose it serves me right
for asking.
87
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:57,040
I'm looking for gold. You're not.
88
00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,220
You're going for a brush
to sweep that up!
89
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:06,600
People went to the Klondike
to scratch about in rivers, when
there's a good one here at home.
90
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,400
There's no gold in our river.
91
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,960
Some old prams and a bicycle wheel,
maybe.
92
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:17,620
How do you know? Have you ever
looked? Have you seen anybody look?
93
00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:20,200
Stands to reason, you dozy oaf.
94
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:24,960
Hey...this yard's a bit bare.
95
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:29,040
It wants some ornaments
or something. It needs cheering up.
96
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:32,700
It needs SWEEPING up,
that's what it needs!
97
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:39,180
I wish I could keep it, it's got a
nice face. It's got too much face.
98
00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:41,620
It's got too much everything.
99
00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:43,960
Get rid of it, Barry!
100
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:48,060
I'm not going to be known
as "her with the dinosaur"!
101
00:07:51,300 --> 00:07:57,020
What do you get for a girl
who's got everything...
crammed into one little skirt?
102
00:07:57,020 --> 00:08:02,320
If the buttons go, there'll be
windows out all down the street.
..Hello, Barry.
103
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:06,420
Glenda was wondering -
which sort of makes it urgent -
104
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:11,480
if you could give me a hand
to move something.
Husband in need. Been there.
105
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:16,140
No problem, Barry.
We know the system, lad. Lead on.
106
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:25,900
Glenda doesn't like it,
so, what with us being a democracy,
I have to get rid of it.
107
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:33,280
I hope it's house-trained.
108
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,440
I can see Glenda's point -
you'd never get it off the bed.
109
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:42,420
A bloke fancies his dog as a killer,
this would make him think a bit.
110
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:46,520
What's so funny?
111
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,020
You know what we're looking at -
Marina's birthday present.
112
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:56,920
Do you think new clothes are going
to make all that difference? No.
113
00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:01,100
But put it like this - instead of
being badly dressed and hopeless,
114
00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:04,260
you could be better dressed
and hopeless.
115
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:06,560
Here, put this on.
116
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:10,980
It's a velvet smoking jacket.
117
00:09:10,980 --> 00:09:17,540
A garment of great style,
which comes at a token rental
with an option to buy.
118
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:20,740
Take your tie off.
119
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:37,400
I like it! The casual look. I can
see romance around the corner.
120
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:41,680
It's the hair.
That's not romantic hair.
121
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:45,360
It's all I've got.
There are alternatives.
122
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,180
Pricey, but alternatives.
123
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:59,100
I must have magic fingers.
Look at that transformation.
124
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:01,800
Mr Wonderful - that's you!
125
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,340
Is it real hair?
Of course it's real hair!
126
00:10:05,340 --> 00:10:08,180
Just don't linger near any ferrets.
127
00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:17,320
Back!
128
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:27,780
You look quite white, Miss
Davenport. I'm highly sensitive.
129
00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:34,080
My life has been devoted
to literature. People don't realise
the risks. Of literature?
130
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,380
Oh, yes!
It inflames the imagination.
131
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:40,460
I have seen a dinosaur
132
00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:42,940
emerging from that alley.
133
00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:45,880
A dinosaur?!
134
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:50,420
We can't let Marina see it -
it's got to be a surprise.
135
00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:52,960
It'll be a surprise, all right!
136
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:56,100
Come on,
we'll take it round the other way.
137
00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:06,220
Stay here, Smiler.
138
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:16,220
Could you be a lady
looking for love? I might
have to go home first and change.
139
00:11:16,220 --> 00:11:21,020
Not with me! Could you show an
interest in him with the handcart?
140
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:27,780
He's a stranger. I couldn't promise
anything more than basic goodwill.
141
00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:30,280
It's Smiler in a wig.
142
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:35,320
Oh... Well, then, I'll always give
what I can for a local charity.
143
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:39,340
He needs his confidence building.
Tell him he looks good.
144
00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:45,820
From some points of view,
such as nothing happening elsewhere,
he DOES look good.
145
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:52,880
Why don't you introduce me
to this attractive, tall person?
146
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,720
You see, smoothy-boots -
you've cracked it!
147
00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:00,620
She's only just saying that.
How can I convince him?
148
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,740
Within reason, of course.
149
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:07,140
Marina!
150
00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:12,880
What are you doing?!
151
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:16,940
I should have thought that was
obvious. I was doing this...
152
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,600
Should you be doing that to people
in the street?!
153
00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:35,640
I don't think I've ever enjoyed
not being able to breathe before.
154
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:40,660
You see? You are going to be
the Errol Flynn of the handcart.
155
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,160
Did HE wear a wig?
156
00:12:44,036 --> 00:12:45,876
Glenda's new neighbour?
157
00:12:45,876 --> 00:12:50,416
Davenport? Miss Davenport?!
Her from the library?
158
00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:52,836
A bit arty, isn't she?
159
00:12:52,836 --> 00:12:56,876
Well, of course
Glenda feels sorry for her.
160
00:12:56,876 --> 00:13:00,916
She feels sorry for anyone
who doesn't have a Barry.
161
00:13:00,916 --> 00:13:04,756
If Miss Davenport wants to come,
she'd better come.
162
00:13:19,096 --> 00:13:20,476
Listen,
163
00:13:20,476 --> 00:13:25,256
I want to make a short detour and
startle this bloke from our street.
164
00:13:25,256 --> 00:13:29,456
He's seen you in tights - there's
not much further you can go.
165
00:13:29,456 --> 00:13:32,116
I look great in tights.
166
00:13:32,116 --> 00:13:36,836
Always reminds me
how much I dislike spaghetti.
167
00:13:51,696 --> 00:13:54,156
You're as daft as a brush.
168
00:13:54,156 --> 00:13:58,676
I'm a pioneer. They always laugh
at the first man to try something -
169
00:13:58,676 --> 00:14:02,656
it's the price you have to pay.
You wait till I'm Sir Alvin.
170
00:14:02,656 --> 00:14:06,216
You're more likely to be cer-tified!
171
00:14:09,776 --> 00:14:12,316
What's he doing? Getting wet.
172
00:14:12,316 --> 00:14:16,496
What's he doing as well as getting
wet? He's prospecting for gold.
173
00:14:16,496 --> 00:14:19,236
No wonder his wife left him.
174
00:14:19,236 --> 00:14:23,756
I thought she'd died. Well,
you can't leave further than that.
175
00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:34,596
Are you sure he comes this way?
176
00:14:34,596 --> 00:14:38,436
I only ask because
of your general unreliability.
177
00:14:38,436 --> 00:14:42,356
He walks his dog here every day,
showing it off.
178
00:14:42,356 --> 00:14:46,816
He thinks it's a killer. Killer?!
Then don't involve me!
179
00:14:46,816 --> 00:14:52,676
We had no dealings with killer dogs
in the vice squad. It's NOT
a killer! It's like its owner -
180
00:14:52,676 --> 00:14:56,976
full of wind and water. A sort
of hurricane. What does he call it?
181
00:14:56,976 --> 00:14:59,036
Rip.
182
00:14:59,036 --> 00:15:03,116
I seem to remember, the trick is
not to let it get near your throat.
183
00:15:03,116 --> 00:15:06,936
I wasn't planning to. The most
it'll see is my reversing lights.
184
00:15:06,936 --> 00:15:08,996
Here he comes.
185
00:15:08,996 --> 00:15:12,296
Come on! Come out of there,
will you?!
186
00:15:12,296 --> 00:15:14,736
Do as you're told!
187
00:15:14,736 --> 00:15:20,956
What have you got there? Oh, it's
too much animal for me. I'll have
to let it go. It's terrifying.
188
00:15:20,956 --> 00:15:26,376
They need a firm hand. What do you
call it? Rover. Fido. Fido. Rover.
189
00:15:26,376 --> 00:15:28,776
Actually, it's Dino. Dino.
190
00:15:28,776 --> 00:15:30,996
What sort is it?
191
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:34,216
The bloke I got it from
said it was a very old breed.
192
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:40,656
Come out, you brute!
It's too much for me!
193
00:15:41,696 --> 00:15:45,136
They do, they need a firm hand.
194
00:15:45,136 --> 00:15:48,216
Come on, Rip, we'll shift it.
195
00:16:15,116 --> 00:16:19,236
He wants Marina's present
delivering to Marina's house,
196
00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:22,656
which has a certain logic to it
if you think about it.
197
00:16:22,656 --> 00:16:25,136
We need some transport.
198
00:16:25,136 --> 00:16:27,476
We need more than that.
199
00:16:27,476 --> 00:16:31,116
They can't send the girl
a naked dinosaur.
200
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:35,836
It ought to have, um...
well, a ribbon round its neck
201
00:16:35,836 --> 00:16:40,516
and a card saying, "Happy birthday!
From your own primitive man."
202
00:16:41,836 --> 00:16:46,116
He'd kill us! It would do him good -
he's dropped me in it often enough.
203
00:16:55,436 --> 00:16:59,196
By the way, your dinosaur's
got a parking ticket!
204
00:17:04,856 --> 00:17:06,836
You deal with it.
205
00:17:13,736 --> 00:17:16,336
Miss Davenport works at the library.
206
00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:21,836
Makes you wonder how people
find the time to read books.
207
00:17:21,836 --> 00:17:26,776
Have you always been Miss Davenport,
or are you just between marriages?
208
00:17:26,776 --> 00:17:29,996
I've never met the right man.
209
00:17:29,996 --> 00:17:34,516
I don't think anybody's met one
of them. They come in flat packs
210
00:17:34,516 --> 00:17:37,676
and you have to make of it
the best you can.
211
00:17:37,676 --> 00:17:40,936
I suppose
I concentrated on my career.
212
00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:45,456
Miss Davenport writes books,
as well as working among them.
213
00:17:45,456 --> 00:17:48,136
Stories of the heart...
214
00:17:48,136 --> 00:17:51,096
love, romance...
215
00:17:51,096 --> 00:17:53,576
Nothing unpleasant.
216
00:17:53,576 --> 00:17:58,916
She lent me The Blacksmith's
Daughter to read. It was lovely.
217
00:17:58,916 --> 00:18:02,836
Have you an interest in metalwork,
Miss Davenport?
218
00:18:04,696 --> 00:18:06,196
No.
219
00:18:06,196 --> 00:18:09,476
The heroine was a great beauty.
220
00:18:09,476 --> 00:18:13,476
She rose from humble beginnings
to a place in high society.
221
00:18:13,476 --> 00:18:17,376
And not from making horseshoes,
I bet.
222
00:18:17,376 --> 00:18:20,396
She had some wonderful adventures.
223
00:18:20,396 --> 00:18:24,076
Miss Davenport makes you feel
every emotion.
224
00:18:24,076 --> 00:18:27,936
I'm afraid I am rather
a creature of emotion.
225
00:18:27,936 --> 00:18:30,976
We all were at one time of day.
226
00:18:30,976 --> 00:18:37,116
But Mum taught us that if we went
outside and scoured the steps,
it would usually go away.
227
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,756
I love
these quaint Northern customs.
228
00:18:45,596 --> 00:18:48,916
Miss Davenport admits
she's still a romantic.
229
00:18:48,916 --> 00:18:54,116
Absolutely!
I'm sure none of us could live
without a touch of passion
230
00:18:54,116 --> 00:18:56,516
or poetry
231
00:18:56,516 --> 00:19:00,216
or the smell of wood smoke
on an autumn morning,
232
00:19:00,216 --> 00:19:02,756
the dew on spiders' webs,
233
00:19:02,756 --> 00:19:05,476
the thrill of a sunrise,
234
00:19:05,476 --> 00:19:09,096
the sweet sadness
of lovers' partings.
235
00:19:13,376 --> 00:19:18,336
At least, Miss Davenport,
you'll be handy for the Co-op,
living near Glenda.
236
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:29,336
Ah! Just what we need -
a handy vehicle,
237
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,516
complete with crew.
238
00:19:31,516 --> 00:19:35,356
We don't do dinosaurs.
They leave scales all over.
239
00:19:35,356 --> 00:19:39,876
You must have had a bad one.
This is in peak condition.
240
00:19:39,876 --> 00:19:44,876
Looks worse than Waldo. Him
in the wig looks worse than Waldo.
241
00:19:48,296 --> 00:19:50,936
Get that thing out of sight!
242
00:19:50,936 --> 00:19:53,756
It'll kill any passing trade.
243
00:19:55,356 --> 00:19:58,836
You two,
conceal this thing down the alley.
244
00:20:01,136 --> 00:20:03,996
We want to gift-wrap it.
245
00:20:03,996 --> 00:20:07,396
We need some ribbon.
What sort of ribbon?
246
00:20:07,396 --> 00:20:10,836
Something attractive,
smarten it up a bit.
247
00:20:10,836 --> 00:20:14,516
Something that says,
"Hello! I'm your birthday present."
248
00:20:14,516 --> 00:20:18,336
I'll bet they never said that
since the vice squad.
249
00:20:18,336 --> 00:20:24,636
Who's it for? Is it for a lady?
That neck is crying out
for a nice choker or pendant.
250
00:20:24,636 --> 00:20:28,336
Ah! Here comes
the generous donor himself.
251
00:20:30,176 --> 00:20:32,576
We'd like to keep it a surprise,
252
00:20:32,576 --> 00:20:34,836
especially from him.
253
00:20:35,856 --> 00:20:37,976
Did you manage to get me something?
254
00:20:37,976 --> 00:20:40,896
Did we manage to get you something?!
255
00:20:40,896 --> 00:20:43,536
You're talking to the can-do people.
256
00:20:43,536 --> 00:20:45,576
What did you get?
257
00:20:46,576 --> 00:20:48,696
It's a surprise.
258
00:20:48,696 --> 00:20:51,576
Oh, I think you'll be surprised.
259
00:20:52,736 --> 00:20:58,436
It's supposed to be a surprise
for the person you're giving it to,
not the person it's coming from.
260
00:20:58,436 --> 00:21:02,156
Lucky you, then -
this is a double surprise.
261
00:21:02,156 --> 00:21:06,576
And don't forget - we're always here
for those little accessories.
262
00:21:19,496 --> 00:21:21,676
What have you lost?
263
00:21:21,676 --> 00:21:25,136
Not as much as you
when Pearl gets hold of you.
264
00:21:25,136 --> 00:21:27,456
What have I done? It's a lie!
265
00:21:27,456 --> 00:21:29,816
You're in trouble.
266
00:21:29,816 --> 00:21:32,436
Why am I in trouble?!
267
00:21:32,436 --> 00:21:37,296
You've forgotten her birthday. I
heard them talking. Whose birthday?
268
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,676
Your wife's - Pearl's.
269
00:21:41,096 --> 00:21:43,936
I've got the wrong birthday!
270
00:21:45,296 --> 00:21:48,036
I haven't forgotten.
271
00:21:48,036 --> 00:21:51,876
There's a present on its way,
even as we speak.
272
00:21:56,036 --> 00:21:59,816
What were you doing
in the inspector's office?
273
00:21:59,816 --> 00:22:02,496
Volunteering for Christmas duty.
274
00:22:02,496 --> 00:22:08,416
You're not going to turn into a
creeper, are you? I couldn't adjust
to you becoming ambitious.
275
00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:11,696
Have you no integrity?
276
00:22:11,696 --> 00:22:13,796
Whatever happened to bone idle?
277
00:22:13,796 --> 00:22:18,216
You can't accuse me of not being
bone idle. I know what I'm doing.
278
00:22:18,216 --> 00:22:21,496
I know what you're doing -
working at Christmas.
279
00:22:21,496 --> 00:22:27,796
The alternative is all the family
round, opening presents,
kids going barmy,
280
00:22:27,796 --> 00:22:31,476
too much too eat, in-laws
pretending to be cheerful...
281
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:35,396
You know what I'm gonna do,
don't you?
282
00:22:35,396 --> 00:22:39,076
I'm gonna put my name down
for Christmas duty.
283
00:22:45,616 --> 00:22:47,696
What was that?!
284
00:22:47,696 --> 00:22:50,816
It were a dog. That were no dog.
285
00:22:50,816 --> 00:22:53,576
Do you want bone idol or don't you?
286
00:22:54,616 --> 00:22:57,236
You're right, it were a dog.
287
00:23:08,036 --> 00:23:12,396
Taking it walkies? We're looking
after it for a friend.
288
00:23:12,396 --> 00:23:16,976
Howard says to turn back -
he's got the wrong birthday.
289
00:23:16,976 --> 00:23:19,836
It's not Marina's, it's Pearl's.
290
00:23:19,836 --> 00:23:23,696
So it's going to Pearl now
and not Marina.
291
00:23:24,896 --> 00:23:27,236
Happy birthday, Howard!
292
00:23:49,176 --> 00:23:52,136
No wonder gold is so expensive.
293
00:24:05,596 --> 00:24:09,336
What are you doing,
staring like you're weird?
294
00:24:09,336 --> 00:24:11,896
I'm not staring, I'm appealing.
295
00:24:11,896 --> 00:24:14,296
Not to me, you're not.
296
00:24:14,296 --> 00:24:19,756
Appealing for help. Give us
a lift down - I can't get down.
Course you can get down.
297
00:24:19,756 --> 00:24:23,916
Any fool can get down. Do you think
I'd sit here if I could get down?!
298
00:24:23,916 --> 00:24:27,996
Who knows? Who'd have thought you'd
be squatting down in the river?
299
00:24:27,996 --> 00:24:31,676
Well, that's what's done it.
Me back's locked.
300
00:24:31,676 --> 00:24:36,536
This isn't some kind of trick?
If it is, I have a few of my own.
301
00:24:36,536 --> 00:24:42,676
Stop blabbering and give us a hand.
Would I willingly put myself
in your hands if I had the option?
302
00:24:42,676 --> 00:24:46,736
Come here. I'm going
to put my hands round your neck.
303
00:24:46,736 --> 00:24:49,136
It IS a trick - I knew it!
304
00:24:49,136 --> 00:24:51,876
It's not desire, it's desperation.
305
00:24:51,876 --> 00:24:55,476
Come on, then.
I'm gonna shuffle off the wall.
306
00:24:55,476 --> 00:24:58,716
Be careful
what you're shuffling where.
307
00:25:03,376 --> 00:25:06,336
Getting to know your new neighbour?
308
00:25:07,296 --> 00:25:09,896
We can't stand each other.
309
00:25:09,896 --> 00:25:12,876
Don't just lie there - tell her!
310
00:25:12,876 --> 00:25:16,616
She's marginally better
for falling on than concrete.
311
00:25:30,376 --> 00:25:33,656
Oh! For me? What a surprise!
312
00:25:33,656 --> 00:25:35,796
They're for Pearl.
313
00:25:35,796 --> 00:25:39,536
Did you get the present?
Of course we got the present!
314
00:25:39,536 --> 00:25:42,076
What are friends for?
315
00:25:42,076 --> 00:25:46,316
Let's be having it, then. She thinks
I've forgotten her birthday.
316
00:25:46,316 --> 00:25:49,636
Probably because you forgot
her birthday.
317
00:25:49,636 --> 00:25:53,496
I got mixed up, that's all.
I knew it was SOMEBODY'S birthday.
318
00:25:53,496 --> 00:25:58,556
Do you think
you're well-trained enough
to have a wife and a concubine?
319
00:25:59,616 --> 00:26:02,176
What does he mean, concubine?
320
00:26:02,176 --> 00:26:04,996
It's like a woodbine,
321
00:26:04,996 --> 00:26:09,576
but it's considered reckless if you
have more than one packet a day.
322
00:26:09,576 --> 00:26:12,036
I don't smoke.
323
00:26:13,036 --> 00:26:16,696
It's a very close female companion,
you muffin.
324
00:26:16,696 --> 00:26:19,056
Tell him, Entwistle.
325
00:26:19,056 --> 00:26:24,536
It's what they made do with
in the ancient world, before
they invented central heating.
326
00:26:24,536 --> 00:26:29,696
I've got central heating.
Then you'd better hurry home -
your boiler's steaming.
327
00:26:29,696 --> 00:26:32,636
Can I have the present, please?
328
00:26:32,636 --> 00:26:36,696
She'll see thee coming.
What about the surprise?
329
00:26:36,696 --> 00:26:43,016
Take the flowers, and she'll think
that's all she's gonna get, then
surprise her. I'll do that anyway.
330
00:26:43,016 --> 00:26:48,996
I'll hide the present in my pocket,
and she'll think that
all she's getting is the flowers.
331
00:26:48,996 --> 00:26:53,016
You don't want to crunch it up,
shoving it in your packet.
332
00:26:53,016 --> 00:26:58,656
Of course. Go and take her
the flowers, and we'll leave
the present on the doorstep.
333
00:26:58,656 --> 00:27:00,736
Don't let me down!
334
00:27:01,836 --> 00:27:07,236
Howard! We've stood by you
through thick and Marina!
335
00:27:07,236 --> 00:27:10,476
Go!
All your friends are behind you.
336
00:27:10,476 --> 00:27:14,796
You can rely on us. It's not for
nothing I was called Unduly Truly.
337
00:27:14,796 --> 00:27:18,016
Go and put happiness
into Pearl's life.
338
00:27:29,736 --> 00:27:31,816
Ta-da!
339
00:27:32,796 --> 00:27:36,736
You forgot, didn't you?
Who reminded you?
340
00:27:36,736 --> 00:27:40,016
How could I forget your birthday?!
341
00:27:45,216 --> 00:27:47,796
Of course I didn't forget.
342
00:27:47,796 --> 00:27:52,496
If I forgot, how come there's
a present for you on the doorstep?
343
00:27:52,496 --> 00:27:55,956
For me? You bought me a present?
344
00:27:55,956 --> 00:27:59,756
Not just the flowers?
It's on the doorstep.
345
00:28:05,976 --> 00:28:08,596
PEARL SCREAMS
346
00:28:09,616 --> 00:28:11,376
Howard!
347
00:28:35,756 --> 00:28:39,216
There's that dog again.
It's found its owner.
348
00:28:41,576 --> 00:28:44,016
He's very affectionate.
349
00:28:44,016 --> 00:28:46,796
I love a happy ending.
350
00:28:48,196 --> 00:28:52,656
Subtitles by Vicky McDonald
BBC Broadcast
29341
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
