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1
00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:10,300
(Jeff Ross) I don't know, man.
2
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,343
I want to try something crazy
up here right now.
3
00:00:12,367 --> 00:00:13,666
If you think you have thick skin
4
00:00:13,667 --> 00:00:15,500
and you think you can
take a joke...
5
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:16,600
Yeah? Come up here, bud.
6
00:00:16,633 --> 00:00:19,500
All right.
Wanna come up here, buddy?
7
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,133
Wanna come up here? Come on up.
8
00:00:21,233 --> 00:00:24,300
This is the ugliest police
lineup I've ever seen.
9
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,867
(laughter and applause)
10
00:00:26,967 --> 00:00:29,100
You are adorable.
What's your name?
11
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:30,600
(laughter)
12
00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:31,732
Michael. Michael?
13
00:00:31,733 --> 00:00:33,799
Where you from, Michael?
14
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,433
College Station.
College Station?
15
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:37,133
Oh, are you a college student?
16
00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:38,266
No. No?
17
00:00:38,267 --> 00:00:40,532
(laughter)
18
00:00:40,533 --> 00:00:41,833
I got locked up before...
19
00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:43,776
I got locked up before
I could go to college.
20
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,732
You got locked up before
you could go to college?
21
00:00:45,733 --> 00:00:47,432
Oh, yeah, that's
what happened, sure.
22
00:00:47,433 --> 00:00:51,500
Like you were going to fucking
Harvard and all of the sudden...
23
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,480
You look like... You're one
of those rare people
24
00:00:53,533 --> 00:00:54,533
who looks like a child
25
00:00:54,534 --> 00:00:57,200
and a child molester
at the same time.
26
00:00:57,300 --> 00:01:01,100
(laughter)
27
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,633
You look like a sweet guy,
like you wouldn't hurt anybody.
28
00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:05,500
You're not a violent guy.
29
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:06,733
I don't know about that.
30
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:08,133
Oh, shit, next.
31
00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:10,933
(laughter)
32
00:01:11,067 --> 00:01:12,376
Come here, come here, come here.
33
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,899
How you doing, man?
What's your name?
34
00:01:13,900 --> 00:01:14,900
I'm good.
35
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:15,900
Forty.
36
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:17,000
Forty? Yeah.
37
00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:18,432
Come here.
Why they call you Forty?
38
00:01:18,433 --> 00:01:19,566
Hmm?
39
00:01:19,567 --> 00:01:20,567
Why they call you...
40
00:01:20,633 --> 00:01:22,667
(laughter)
41
00:01:22,767 --> 00:01:26,433
You're not under oath,
you realize that, right?
42
00:01:26,533 --> 00:01:28,367
Just a nickname, that's all.
43
00:01:28,467 --> 00:01:30,133
A nickname. Yeah.
44
00:01:30,233 --> 00:01:31,733
What's your job when
you get outside?
45
00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:34,633
You have a regular job?
46
00:01:34,733 --> 00:01:35,867
Uh...
47
00:01:35,967 --> 00:01:38,800
(laughter and applause)
48
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,267
Let's talk to Curious George
over here.
49
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:44,300
(laughter)
50
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:47,833
My name's E.T.
51
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:50,400
Your name's E.T.?
52
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:52,600
Oh, I thought
you looked familiar.
53
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:54,567
(laughter)
54
00:01:54,667 --> 00:01:56,633
How old are you?
55
00:01:56,733 --> 00:01:57,833
19.
56
00:01:57,933 --> 00:01:59,800
Oh, my goodness, man.
57
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:02,967
Your breath is giving me
the breath penalty right now.
58
00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:05,467
(man) Hey, do the walk.
59
00:02:05,567 --> 00:02:06,800
What's that?
60
00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:08,140
(man) Do the walk. Do the walk?
61
00:02:08,233 --> 00:02:09,067
What's that mean, do the walk?
62
00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:13,433
(men) Do the walk! Do the walk!
63
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,533
What's the walk? Wait...
64
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,500
(cheering)
65
00:02:27,767 --> 00:02:30,833
(cheers and applause)
66
00:02:34,633 --> 00:02:36,700
I'm confused.
67
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,600
Is this a jail or a zoo?
68
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,467
(laughter)
69
00:02:40,567 --> 00:02:42,633
*
70
00:02:42,733 --> 00:02:44,900
(train whistle blowing)
71
00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:47,100
Hello, I'm Jeff Ross.
72
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,576
They call me
the Roastmaster General.
73
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:53,167
Like most of us, I'm fascinated
by the American criminal.
74
00:02:53,267 --> 00:02:56,067
I always wonder,
what are they really like?
75
00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:58,267
Why are there so many of them?
76
00:02:58,367 --> 00:03:01,067
And do they have a sense
of humor about their situation?
77
00:03:01,167 --> 00:03:03,667
So I decided to roast 'em.
78
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:06,067
They're outlaws,
they deserve it, right?
79
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:07,833
And if you can laugh
at yourself,
80
00:03:07,933 --> 00:03:10,400
you're one step
closer to freedom.
81
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,467
But prisons and jails are
closed-off places,
82
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:17,500
and they don't like outsiders
looking in, for a reason.
83
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:18,900
I've seen people get killed.
84
00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:19,767
I've been stabbed.
85
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:23,200
Lots of fights. Lots of riots.
86
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:25,067
I've got hit in the face
a couple of times.
87
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,067
I've seen people
get stomped to death.
88
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,900
They got knifes this long. Yeah.
89
00:03:29,067 --> 00:03:30,567
And stabbing each other.
90
00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:33,600
(Jeff)
Not a single lockup in America
had the guts to let me in,
91
00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:39,967
except one, where they have
600 guys, 150 ladies,
92
00:03:40,067 --> 00:03:44,200
and about 60 officers who could
all use a little break.
93
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,300
So, screw it.
94
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:46,643
Armed with nothing
but some insults,
95
00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:50,567
I'm heading into a Texas County
jail for a few days,
96
00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:52,633
to kill or be killed.
97
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:56,867
*
98
00:04:11,467 --> 00:04:14,733
A lot of jails would never let
me come in here and do a show,
99
00:04:14,833 --> 00:04:16,043
so thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
100
00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:18,367
Why? Why did you say yes?
101
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,700
Well, we are proud of
the facility here
102
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,109
and we're proud
of the staff here.
103
00:04:22,133 --> 00:04:23,800
We convey expectations
104
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,133
and if people do
what we ask 'em to do,
105
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,767
there ought to be a positive
incentive for doing that.
106
00:04:28,867 --> 00:04:31,833
More than 90% of the people
who are here
107
00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:33,533
are gonna go home someday,
108
00:04:33,633 --> 00:04:35,067
so you have to ask yourself,
109
00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:36,343
when somebody gets out of jail,
110
00:04:36,367 --> 00:04:37,609
do you want them to have been
in an environment
111
00:04:37,633 --> 00:04:40,667
where they were mistreated
and they come out angry
112
00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:42,867
or where they saw an environment
113
00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:44,847
where people were taught
personal accountability
114
00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:46,300
and how to behave
115
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,043
and that that can lead
to good things?
Right.
116
00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:49,507
Who do you want to live
next door to?
117
00:04:49,533 --> 00:04:50,967
*
118
00:04:53,833 --> 00:04:56,433
When's the last time
someone did a show here?
119
00:04:56,533 --> 00:04:57,200
Never.
120
00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:58,833
You look a little scared.
121
00:04:58,933 --> 00:05:00,267
It's a little scary in here.
122
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:02,300
You don't have to worry
about that.
123
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,680
I'll protect you.
You have a gun?
124
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,167
No, I do not.
125
00:05:05,267 --> 00:05:07,400
We're not allowed to carry
guns in the facility.
126
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:08,776
So, what, do you just
ask people politely
127
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,700
to stop beating me?
128
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:16,133
No, we'll actually assist in
trying to get them off of you,
129
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,733
but we don't escalate.
130
00:05:18,833 --> 00:05:20,833
We try to de-escalate
the situation.
131
00:05:20,933 --> 00:05:22,067
Where are we headed?
132
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,600
We're headed to 3A.
133
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:24,467
What's in 3A?
134
00:05:24,567 --> 00:05:27,433
3A is maximum security inmates.
135
00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:30,533
They are in here
for aggravated assaults
136
00:05:30,633 --> 00:05:32,267
with deadly weapons, murder.
137
00:05:32,367 --> 00:05:34,433
Is it dangerous? It's dangerous.
138
00:05:34,533 --> 00:05:35,909
Everywhere is dangerous
in here.
Right.
139
00:05:35,933 --> 00:05:38,900
We never... We never relax
while we're here.
140
00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:40,667
Ever. Okay.
141
00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:41,776
So. If I die, it's on you.
142
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,833
No, we'll die together.
143
00:05:43,933 --> 00:05:44,933
All right. All right.
144
00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:46,133
Blood brothers. Yes.
145
00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:47,513
Blood brothers and sisters. Yes.
146
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,467
Brown, can you open
your slider again?
147
00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:57,867
You ready? Yeah.
148
00:05:57,967 --> 00:05:59,833
You go first. Don't be scared.
149
00:06:00,067 --> 00:06:01,567
You first.
Don't be scared,
come on.
150
00:06:03,733 --> 00:06:04,733
(Jeff) What's up?
151
00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:07,467
What's up?
152
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,300
How you guys doing?
153
00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:11,767
What's up?!
154
00:06:13,967 --> 00:06:15,900
Jeff Ross.
155
00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:17,343
Randy Gray.
Nice to meet you guys.
156
00:06:17,367 --> 00:06:19,233
(man) Wave to the camera.
157
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:20,933
Saturday night,
who's coming to the show?
158
00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:23,967
(all exclaiming)
159
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:26,867
I thought I'd come take a look
around, get ready for the show.
160
00:06:26,967 --> 00:06:29,067
This a barbershop over here?
161
00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:30,300
Yeah, it's the barbershop.
162
00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:33,100
How you doing? Jeff Ross.
163
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,200
Nice to meet you, man.
164
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:35,633
What are you in for? Come here.
165
00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:37,067
Assaulted a police officer.
166
00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:38,376
You assaulted a police officer?
167
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,133
Yeah.
Oh, my goodness,
that's serious, dude.
168
00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:42,633
What was happening?
169
00:06:42,733 --> 00:06:44,876
They tried to take me to jail
for something I didn't do.
170
00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:46,067
And you didn't want to go?
171
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,233
I didn't want to go.
172
00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:48,467
And who won that argument?
173
00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:49,633
The police.
174
00:06:49,733 --> 00:06:51,533
Obviously, they did,
you know what I'm saying?
175
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,067
For real. They did.
176
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:55,367
What's that tattoo over here?
177
00:06:55,467 --> 00:06:56,067
42-32.
178
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,800
What's that mean?
179
00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:00,067
Dirty White Boy.
180
00:07:00,167 --> 00:07:01,500
Dirty White Boy?
181
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:02,600
Yes, sir.
182
00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:03,943
Who's the fucking
baddest motherfucker
183
00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:05,800
in this dorm?
184
00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:07,709
There's a bunch of them.
There are murderers in here.
185
00:07:07,733 --> 00:07:09,267
Well, alleged murderers.
186
00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:11,133
This is high-security dorm
right here.
187
00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:12,243
You coming to my show tomorrow?
188
00:07:12,267 --> 00:07:13,800
I'm gonna try to.
(man)
Hell, yeah.
189
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,067
Yeah? Sure.
190
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:16,493
You gotta be
on your best behavior.
191
00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:18,867
Yeah.
I don't want to get shanked
onstage or nothing.
192
00:07:18,967 --> 00:07:20,067
Oh, no.
193
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:22,867
You bust that shank, doggie.
194
00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:24,076
No, we ain't gonna shank him.
195
00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:25,900
You ain't gonna shank him?
196
00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:27,076
No, we ain't gonna
shank him, man.
197
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,133
Shank you very much.
198
00:07:28,233 --> 00:07:29,633
(laughing)
199
00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:31,933
This is where
the white dudes hang out?
200
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,267
Sometimes.
201
00:07:33,367 --> 00:07:35,533
Does anybody ever get offended
by your tattoos?
202
00:07:35,633 --> 00:07:36,800
Sometimes.
203
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:40,733
Anyway, good luck with the rest
of your stay in jail.
204
00:07:40,833 --> 00:07:41,867
How many years? 99.
205
00:07:41,967 --> 00:07:43,709
Dude, you should get
fucking six million years
206
00:07:43,733 --> 00:07:45,533
for every Jew that died
in the Holocaust.
207
00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,600
(laughter)
208
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,233
Fuck this, man.
209
00:07:50,167 --> 00:07:52,233
(Dicky)
You know, we believe that
210
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:53,967
personal responsibility
is important
211
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:56,833
and we have an inmate
behavior management
philosophy that we use.
212
00:07:56,933 --> 00:08:01,700
And so for the folks that are
gonna get to go to your show,
213
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,267
we told 'em that
they had to behave for a month
214
00:08:04,367 --> 00:08:06,800
with no disciplinary action
or anything like that.
215
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:10,200
And so we had almost half
of our population do that.
216
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,367
Wow. Yeah.
217
00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:13,100
So I'll be performing
for everything
218
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,500
from DUls to murderers.
219
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:17,500
Right.
220
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,000
They'll all be
in the room with you.
221
00:08:19,067 --> 00:08:20,143
Can you sit the murderers
in the back?
222
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,067
No, they're gonna be up front.
223
00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:23,367
Why is that?
224
00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:24,543
So that if we need
to move 'em, you know,
225
00:08:24,567 --> 00:08:26,633
if somebody misbehaves,
we can move 'em out.
226
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:29,933
(inmates chanting)
Jeff Ross, Jeff Ross!
227
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,833
Jeff Ross, Jeff Ross!
228
00:08:31,933 --> 00:08:36,067
(man)
Everybody give it up
for the Roastmaster General,
229
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:40,967
Mr. Jeff motherfuckin' Ross!
230
00:08:41,067 --> 00:08:43,867
(cheers and applause)
231
00:08:43,967 --> 00:08:46,067
What's up?
232
00:08:46,133 --> 00:08:49,167
What the fuck is up?
What the fuck is up?
233
00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:55,233
What's up?
234
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,733
What's up, what's up?
235
00:08:57,833 --> 00:08:58,233
What's up, buddy?
236
00:08:58,333 --> 00:09:00,367
What's up?
237
00:09:00,467 --> 00:09:03,133
What's up, motherfuckers?
Are you ready for a show?
238
00:09:03,233 --> 00:09:04,967
(cheers and applause)
239
00:09:05,067 --> 00:09:07,333
(man) Hell yeah!
240
00:09:07,433 --> 00:09:09,043
(Jeff)
You ugly motherfuckers
ready to party?
241
00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:11,067
(all) Yeah!
242
00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:13,133
All right.
243
00:09:13,233 --> 00:09:16,067
Hell yeah,
where my murderers at?
244
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:19,067
(chuckles)
245
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,200
Sit them in the back, shit.
246
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,067
(laughter)
247
00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:24,467
Waller, you okay over there?
248
00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:26,533
Come here a second,
one quick second.
249
00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:33,067
I need you to give everybody
permission to laugh tonight.
250
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,267
Will you, please?
251
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:36,267
Yes, we all need to laugh.
252
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:37,567
Thank you, darling.
253
00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:38,876
We're going to have a good time.
254
00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:39,933
Thank you.
255
00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:42,867
All right, I'll see you
back at the hotel.
256
00:09:42,967 --> 00:09:45,067
(laughter and applause)
257
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,733
(whooping)
258
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,233
(Jeff) Wow.
259
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,567
This is all right.
260
00:09:54,867 --> 00:09:56,067
Shh!
261
00:09:56,167 --> 00:09:57,367
How fucking fat are you, dude?
262
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,467
Extra, baby!
263
00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:05,833
Who gains weight in jail?
264
00:10:05,933 --> 00:10:07,567
This guy, right here!
265
00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:09,300
Damn.
What'd you do, rob a bakery?
266
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:12,100
Pretty much.
267
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,767
Fuck it.
268
00:10:14,867 --> 00:10:16,109
What was your first
phone call in jail?
269
00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:19,433
Hello, Domino's?
270
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,200
Hell yeah.
271
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:25,733
This is a trip right here.
272
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,000
This is some gig, man.
273
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,300
(man shouting)
274
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,067
No one wants to talk to you.
275
00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:31,967
(laughter and applause)
276
00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,067
Frank.
277
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,967
I played basketball with him
yesterday
278
00:10:38,067 --> 00:10:40,433
and nobody would play with us.
279
00:10:40,533 --> 00:10:42,200
Whoa.
280
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,100
I go, "Why don't you want
to play with Frank?"
281
00:10:44,133 --> 00:10:46,900
And they all went,
"Hoo-hoo-hoo."
282
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,867
This is all right.
283
00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:54,967
We got the fucking whites-only
section up there.
284
00:10:55,067 --> 00:10:58,100
What's up?
285
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,433
Wow, happy Hanukkah, fellas.
286
00:11:02,267 --> 00:11:04,400
(Jeff laughing)
287
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:05,067
(man) Welcome to Bryan, Texas.
288
00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:06,200
What's that?
289
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:08,167
(man) Welcome to Bryan, Texas.
290
00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:09,543
Welcome to Bryan, Texas.
Thank you.
291
00:11:09,567 --> 00:11:10,867
What are you, the mayor?
Shut up.
292
00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:12,267
(laughter)
293
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,467
Now look at this guy.
How you doing, man?
294
00:11:14,567 --> 00:11:16,233
What do you got? How you doing?
295
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:19,100
Damn, we got Crips
and cripples in here.
296
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,633
Damn!
297
00:11:21,733 --> 00:11:23,333
What's up?!
298
00:11:26,167 --> 00:11:28,300
How you doing, man?
299
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,433
This is awesome.
300
00:11:29,533 --> 00:11:30,833
What's your name, sir?
301
00:11:30,933 --> 00:11:32,167
I'm Robert. Robert?
302
00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:34,800
Nice to meet you, man.
303
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:35,367
They all love you.
They know you, man.
304
00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,467
Look at it.
305
00:11:37,567 --> 00:11:39,509
I see you're in a wheelchair,
I hope you're okay, man.
306
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,900
What'd you do,
bust a handicap in somebody?
307
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,367
Look at that smile
right there, man.
308
00:11:46,467 --> 00:11:47,467
You look great.
309
00:11:47,567 --> 00:11:48,067
You look like
Flava Flav's grandpa.
310
00:11:48,133 --> 00:11:50,367
Yeah.
311
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,667
Man, look how covered up
you are.
312
00:11:54,767 --> 00:11:56,067
Holy shit, dude.
313
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:58,933
Can I actually show everybody?
Come here for one second.
314
00:11:59,067 --> 00:12:00,600
Oh, my God.
315
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:01,500
Dude.
316
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,833
Dude, look at this shit.
317
00:12:03,933 --> 00:12:06,067
What's your name, man?
What's your name?
318
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,867
What up, Nigger, I go by Ghost.
319
00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:09,267
Ghost.
320
00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:11,400
Why, you're about to disappear?
321
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,100
Look at you, man,
322
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,900
three more tattoos,
you'll be a black dude.
323
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,400
Thank you, Ghost.
324
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:23,600
He's a scary-looking
motherfucker right there, dude.
325
00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:28,733
He got two teardrops melted
together and shit.
326
00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:31,967
Where my innocent people at?
327
00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:34,333
(all cheering)
328
00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:36,567
Where are my guilty people at?
329
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:38,633
(man) Right here!
330
00:12:38,733 --> 00:12:40,333
How many people
have lied so much,
331
00:12:40,433 --> 00:12:42,533
they don't even know
the truth anymore?
332
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:44,600
(scattered cheers)
333
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,067
Oh, man.
334
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:49,067
I came here today because I'm
a big believer in second chances
335
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:52,200
and I know most of you, almost
all of you will come out of here
336
00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:54,133
and be back in the world
before long,
337
00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:55,276
so on a personal note,
I wanted to see
338
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:58,567
if I could roast
you guys a little bit
339
00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:01,167
and see if you had a sense
of humor about your situation.
340
00:13:01,267 --> 00:13:02,600
And also, while I was here,
341
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:05,167
I was kind of hoping I might
meet some NFL players.
342
00:13:05,267 --> 00:13:06,767
Are there any here?
343
00:13:06,867 --> 00:13:08,733
From the Patriots? I don't know.
344
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,309
Aaron Hernandez, that guy...
(man)
Yeah!
345
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:13,267
All right.
346
00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:15,833
You're a big fan, huh?
Yeah, big fan.
347
00:13:15,933 --> 00:13:19,100
That guy had just signed
a $40 million guarantee.
348
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,867
All he had to do was not kill
three people.
349
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:25,333
(man) That's hard.
350
00:13:25,433 --> 00:13:27,067
What's that?
351
00:13:27,167 --> 00:13:28,233
It's hard.
352
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:29,343
It's hard to not kill
three people?
353
00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:31,500
I guess you would know, man.
354
00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:36,700
It all started with O.J.
355
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,300
O.J. was my hero, that broke
my heart when he got...
356
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,600
Man, he deserves
to be in jail, that guy.
357
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:44,309
I'm not saying he's guilty,
but his last birthday,
358
00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:47,133
he cut the cake 47 times.
359
00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:48,300
(laughter)
360
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,167
It was a vanilla cake, so...
361
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:54,900
Man. And of course
he got away with murder,
362
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:58,300
'cause he had the most expensive
legal team in history, man.
363
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:03,333
His lawyer, did you notice,
was Kim Kardashian's father,
364
00:14:03,433 --> 00:14:05,500
so you know that family is
really talented
365
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,640
in getting black guys off.
366
00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:12,900
Fuck, yeah.
367
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:18,167
You almost laughed, you fucking
drug addict, look at you.
368
00:14:20,533 --> 00:14:21,700
Dude.
369
00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:24,800
Yeah, I'm here because,
you know,
370
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,043
this could have been me, too.
371
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:28,200
I've been on my own since
I'm a teenager.
372
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,067
I lost my parents
when I was young
373
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:31,443
and I understand
that not everybody in here
374
00:14:31,467 --> 00:14:33,933
is a terrible person.
375
00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:36,267
Some of y'all just did something
when you were desperate
376
00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:37,967
or didn't get enough
of an education
377
00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:40,433
or didn't get enough love and
none of us are above the law.
378
00:14:40,533 --> 00:14:43,167
We all slip up on the outside.
379
00:14:43,267 --> 00:14:45,233
I've drank and driven a car.
380
00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:48,267
I've lied on my taxes.
381
00:14:48,367 --> 00:14:50,100
I shot Suge Knight.
382
00:14:52,567 --> 00:14:53,333
But if I ever got
in real trouble,
383
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:55,567
if I had to come into jail,
384
00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:56,776
I already know
it's all about survival.
385
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,500
I've been here a few days
watching you guys,
386
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:00,676
paying attention
to what's happening.
387
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:04,167
First day in jail,
I'd walk in here,
388
00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:07,633
I'd find the biggest-looking,
meanest motherfucker in here
389
00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:08,733
and suck his dick.
390
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:21,233
Let 'em know who's boss.
391
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,233
Come on.
392
00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,133
(inmates chattering)
393
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:33,273
All right, to your health.
394
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:34,333
Radioactive right there.
395
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,900
(laughter)
396
00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:37,276
Young man, he's too young
to be in prison.
397
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:40,433
We got fucking Bill Cosby's
rape baby over here.
398
00:15:40,533 --> 00:15:43,367
Oh! (Laughter)
399
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:45,267
Wow, I wouldn't feed this
to my dog.
400
00:15:45,367 --> 00:15:47,500
(laughter)
401
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,433
Then again, my dog
never shot nobody, so...
402
00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:52,433
(all) Ohh!
403
00:15:52,533 --> 00:15:54,800
Jail is serious, man.
404
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:57,100
Jail is serious, dude.
405
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,500
I had lunch here today.
406
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,700
Whoever is the cook should be
arrested for attempted murder.
407
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,400
(cheers and applause)
408
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:08,367
(Jeff) Man.
409
00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:13,500
You guys made me feel so much
better already.
410
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:14,367
I had a rough date
the other night.
411
00:16:14,467 --> 00:16:16,733
I went out with this chick,
412
00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:19,333
she was not into
my Bill Cosby impression.
413
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:25,900
(imitating Bill Cosby)
Now why is the coffee
making you sleepy?
414
00:16:28,067 --> 00:16:29,733
I put the Roofie in the puddin'.
415
00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:34,067
(normal voice)
That guy's in a lot
of trouble, man.
416
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:36,567
27 women have accused him
of terrible, terrible things.
417
00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:38,500
That's heartbreaking,
'cause as a comedian,
418
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,767
Bill Cosby was another one
of my heroes,
419
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:45,733
and all those years, Bill Cosby
was like, "Hey, hey, hey!"
420
00:16:45,833 --> 00:16:49,700
All those women
were like, "Hey! Hey. Hey."
421
00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:57,633
But Bill Cosby will never get in
real trouble 'cause he's rich.
422
00:16:57,733 --> 00:17:01,600
It's the poor people
who go to jail in America.
423
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:05,200
There's racism, but there's
also classism.
424
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:08,767
Right now,
there's men in here locked up
425
00:17:08,867 --> 00:17:10,700
for possession of less marijuana
426
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,433
than I have in my lungs
right now.
427
00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,400
(cheers and applause)
428
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,367
Am I allowed to ask why
you're here?
429
00:17:21,467 --> 00:17:24,267
I guess you could, man.
I got caught with some weed.
430
00:17:24,367 --> 00:17:25,733
Did you hurt someone? No.
431
00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:27,067
I got a drug charge.
432
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,633
First felony charge of my life.
433
00:17:28,733 --> 00:17:29,867
Really? Yeah, first...
434
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:31,933
First drug charge of my life.
435
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:34,800
I was in front of my house,
I was parked the wrong way.
436
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:36,067
I was on some drugs,
437
00:17:36,133 --> 00:17:38,600
but that wasn't why I was
parked the wrong way.
438
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:39,900
Weed helps me adapt, man.
439
00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:41,700
I'm serious.
I got glaucoma, man.
440
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,233
I'm serious.
441
00:17:43,333 --> 00:17:45,667
We're a free country,
but we lock up more people
442
00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:48,300
than any other place
in the world.
443
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,700
The system's broken.
444
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:53,500
It's mostly minor,
nonviolent drug offenses.
445
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:54,600
Marijuana is...
446
00:17:54,633 --> 00:17:56,433
(man) Great.
447
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:58,633
It's medicine.
448
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,533
I live in California.
449
00:18:00,633 --> 00:18:02,533
I got a prescription, man.
450
00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:04,500
Medical marijuana saved my life.
451
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,467
I was dying of anorexia.
452
00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:07,900
(laughter)
453
00:18:08,067 --> 00:18:09,733
Just this morning.
454
00:18:09,833 --> 00:18:11,433
(laughter)
455
00:18:11,533 --> 00:18:15,233
When I was a kid, I had to risk
my life to buy marijuana.
456
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:18,533
I used to have to go to
the park at midnight in the rain
457
00:18:18,633 --> 00:18:20,300
and pretend to play chess,
458
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:24,233
buy some weed off a guy
who looks like this right here.
459
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:29,667
(giggling)
460
00:18:29,767 --> 00:18:31,533
I knew you looked familiar.
461
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,460
(man)
Just trying to make a living.
462
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:37,300
Just trying to make a living?
463
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,567
No, dude, you gotta change
your ways, dude.
464
00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:41,300
You can't... You can't get...
465
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,933
Plus, you guys are guilty mostly
of thinking small.
466
00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:46,200
You gotta think like
the big corporations in America.
467
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:48,733
You can't sell meth
to a teenager.
468
00:18:48,833 --> 00:18:50,500
Sell Viagra to his grandfather.
469
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:56,433
I'm lucky
I never got in trouble.
470
00:18:56,533 --> 00:18:59,600
I sold joints at my prom,
I was a messed-up kid, too, man.
471
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,567
Then I think about this country.
472
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:05,933
America was practically founded
by a marijuana dealer.
473
00:19:06,067 --> 00:19:07,833
George Washington,
474
00:19:07,933 --> 00:19:11,567
father of our country,
grew hemp on his plantation.
475
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:13,067
That's true.
476
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:15,467
And the first state to legalize
marijuana?
477
00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:16,833
Washington state.
478
00:19:16,933 --> 00:19:18,633
Coincidence?
479
00:19:18,733 --> 00:19:19,833
Who gives a shit?
480
00:19:19,933 --> 00:19:21,300
The point is...
481
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,500
(laughter)
482
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:23,933
The system is broken.
483
00:19:24,067 --> 00:19:27,800
Incarceration in America is
a $75 billion industry.
484
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:31,233
That's what...
They say crime doesn't pay?
485
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:35,067
It pays, it just doesn't pay
you motherfuckers.
486
00:19:35,167 --> 00:19:39,067
Right now, in some states,
there's guys locked up
487
00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:42,700
for stuff that's now become
legal in that same state.
488
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:46,067
How crazy would that
make somebody?
489
00:19:46,133 --> 00:19:49,533
Right now, there's people in
prison in the state of Florida
490
00:19:49,633 --> 00:19:50,833
for shooting a black teenager.
491
00:19:53,967 --> 00:19:57,367
That's practically a misdemeanor
in Florida right now.
492
00:19:57,467 --> 00:20:01,367
'Cause it's too easy
to get guns in this country.
493
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:04,467
How many people here have owned
guns in their lives?
494
00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:06,500
Damn. (Man) It's Texas.
495
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,400
I know it's Texas, man.
496
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:09,367
(man) Everybody's got a gun.
497
00:20:09,467 --> 00:20:12,533
Walmart sells guns
24 hours a day.
498
00:20:12,633 --> 00:20:14,767
They sell booze till midnight.
499
00:20:14,867 --> 00:20:16,167
(man) Yeah.
500
00:20:16,267 --> 00:20:17,100
So if you really want a drink,
501
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,600
you can buy a gun
and rob Walmart.
502
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:23,667
Makes no sense. (Man) Yeah.
503
00:20:23,767 --> 00:20:26,367
The political system's
broken, too.
504
00:20:26,467 --> 00:20:28,700
We never learn, it's the same
thing over and over again.
505
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,200
You guys can't vote,
506
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:33,067
but our votes don't count
on the outside either.
507
00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:35,600
'Cause there might be
a bush in the White House
508
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,333
by the time you get out.
509
00:20:37,433 --> 00:20:38,900
Hillary's.
510
00:20:48,033 --> 00:20:49,593
(Jeff)
How many times
you been back here?
511
00:20:49,633 --> 00:20:50,867
(man) It's like...
512
00:20:50,967 --> 00:20:53,533
This is my third felony.
I'm only 23.
513
00:20:53,633 --> 00:20:55,300
How many times you been in here?
514
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,667
About ten, 20.
515
00:20:56,767 --> 00:20:59,667
I've got 36 priors.
516
00:20:59,767 --> 00:21:01,600
The recidivism rate is
phenomenal.
517
00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:05,067
Why do you think people
come back to jail so much?
518
00:21:05,167 --> 00:21:06,900
A lot of people are
institutionalized.
519
00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:09,967
It don't take but a few months
to get that way, man.
520
00:21:10,067 --> 00:21:11,776
Get used to people
telling you when to go to bed,
521
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,833
when to wake up, when to eat.
522
00:21:13,933 --> 00:21:15,067
Some people come down here
523
00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:16,867
and learn something
from their mistakes,
524
00:21:16,967 --> 00:21:18,967
some people just dumb,
don't learn nothing,
525
00:21:19,067 --> 00:21:21,467
and go back out there
and do the same thing.
526
00:21:21,567 --> 00:21:23,843
(woman)
A lot of times, I tell 'em,
I say, you can break the mold,
527
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:26,167
you can be the one who steps
away and says,
528
00:21:26,267 --> 00:21:27,733
you don't have to do this,
529
00:21:27,833 --> 00:21:29,267
and when they're talking to you,
530
00:21:29,367 --> 00:21:30,867
they say,
"You're right, you're right.
531
00:21:30,967 --> 00:21:32,443
I'm gonna do that,
I'm gonna do that."
532
00:21:32,467 --> 00:21:33,567
And then they bond out
533
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,333
and then it could be just
a short while later
534
00:21:36,433 --> 00:21:39,300
or it could be a couple years
later and here they come again.
535
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,043
Like me, personally,
every time I come down,
536
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,109
I learn something,
I better myself,
537
00:21:42,133 --> 00:21:43,733
I try my best
to better myself, you know,
538
00:21:43,767 --> 00:21:45,667
but this time, hopefully,
is my last,
539
00:21:45,767 --> 00:21:47,967
I pray it's my last, you know.
540
00:21:48,067 --> 00:21:49,367
Who's getting out soon?
541
00:21:49,467 --> 00:21:50,633
I am.
542
00:21:50,733 --> 00:21:51,833
How long you been in here?
543
00:21:51,933 --> 00:21:53,400
Been in here a month.
544
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:54,733
A month?
545
00:21:54,833 --> 00:21:57,500
You look like you've been in
here since Shawshank times.
546
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:01,767
(laughing)
547
00:22:01,867 --> 00:22:03,467
I'd say, turn your life around,
548
00:22:03,567 --> 00:22:05,733
but you look like you got
30 days to live, shit.
549
00:22:05,833 --> 00:22:08,700
(laughter and applause)
550
00:22:12,067 --> 00:22:14,067
Anybody getting their GED,
551
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:14,967
high school diploma
while they're here?
552
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:18,367
Right? That's awesome, dude.
553
00:22:18,467 --> 00:22:19,700
Congratulations.
554
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:20,800
I bet the prom sucks.
555
00:22:22,733 --> 00:22:25,833
What's the worst part about
being in this place?
556
00:22:25,933 --> 00:22:27,067
The SHU, man.
557
00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:27,900
What's that mean, the SHU?
558
00:22:28,067 --> 00:22:31,333
Locked down 23 hours a day.
559
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:32,533
In solitary?
560
00:22:32,633 --> 00:22:33,533
In solitary.
561
00:22:33,633 --> 00:22:35,143
It messed me up when
I went back there.
562
00:22:35,167 --> 00:22:36,833
It messed me up, too.
It messed me up.
563
00:22:36,933 --> 00:22:38,433
What did it feel like?
564
00:22:38,533 --> 00:22:40,233
It feel like you in hell,
really.
565
00:22:40,333 --> 00:22:41,600
Why did you go in there?
566
00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:43,867
Fights. Uh, starting a riot.
567
00:22:43,967 --> 00:22:45,676
Talking to the guards
and all that, you know.
568
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:47,800
What does it do to your brain,
being by yourself?
569
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:49,733
Crazy.
570
00:22:49,833 --> 00:22:52,467
It really run you insane.
571
00:22:52,567 --> 00:22:53,767
It's all rubber, huh?
572
00:22:53,867 --> 00:22:56,767
All rubber, so you can
beat your head on it
573
00:22:56,867 --> 00:22:59,400
and it will never hurt you.
574
00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:00,500
Wow.
575
00:23:00,567 --> 00:23:02,500
Do they get a bed or a toilet?
576
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:04,367
Nope, they don't get
a bed, but they're...
577
00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:05,876
They do have a toilet.
It's right here.
578
00:23:05,900 --> 00:23:07,667
This is the toilet?
579
00:23:07,767 --> 00:23:08,767
This is the toilet.
580
00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:10,667
We tell them to use
the bathroom in here.
581
00:23:10,767 --> 00:23:14,233
They just squat
over this hole?
Mm-hmm.
582
00:23:14,333 --> 00:23:16,233
Is that why they call it
the hole?
583
00:23:16,333 --> 00:23:18,600
"Send 'em to the hole." Sure.
584
00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:20,567
What's the longest
somebody could be in here?
585
00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:24,667
However long it takes
to seek treatment.
586
00:23:24,767 --> 00:23:28,633
Do you think it's torture?
587
00:23:28,733 --> 00:23:32,133
Pr... Possibly, but...
588
00:23:32,233 --> 00:23:34,800
We have to, you know,
dot our "I"s, cross our "T"s.
589
00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:37,067
We can't make...
590
00:23:37,167 --> 00:23:40,967
We can't have anybody kill
themselves on our watch and...
591
00:23:41,067 --> 00:23:43,367
So we do the best we can.
592
00:23:43,467 --> 00:23:45,333
I took a little tour
of solitary.
593
00:23:45,433 --> 00:23:48,433
I spent some time in a little
solitary cell yesterday.
594
00:23:48,533 --> 00:23:50,467
That really messed up
my head a little bit.
595
00:23:50,567 --> 00:23:53,067
How many guys have spent time
in the SHU down there?
596
00:23:53,133 --> 00:23:55,567
Really, that many?
597
00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:58,067
Man, did it mess you up?
598
00:23:58,167 --> 00:23:59,667
It would mess me up.
599
00:23:59,767 --> 00:24:00,900
People need companionship.
600
00:24:01,067 --> 00:24:02,433
They need someone to talk to.
601
00:24:02,533 --> 00:24:04,600
You go into solitary for
too long,
602
00:24:04,700 --> 00:24:06,667
how do you keep
your sex drive alive?
603
00:24:06,767 --> 00:24:08,467
(laughter)
604
00:24:08,567 --> 00:24:11,367
What do you do?
Wait for a bug to crawl by?
605
00:24:11,467 --> 00:24:14,367
Slow down, little lady.
606
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,167
Let me see those legs.
607
00:24:20,900 --> 00:24:22,980
I got solitary, but you're
getting the death penalty.
608
00:24:25,633 --> 00:24:26,800
(mimics gunfire)
609
00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:31,809
(Jeff)
Is it heartbreaking for you
610
00:24:31,833 --> 00:24:33,833
when you see someone come in
or out of here?
611
00:24:33,933 --> 00:24:36,233
(Waller) Sometimes it is,
612
00:24:36,333 --> 00:24:39,067
but most of the people
that we put in here
613
00:24:39,100 --> 00:24:41,900
are in some kind
of mental crisis.
614
00:24:42,067 --> 00:24:44,800
(Dicky)
What some people may not know
615
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,567
is that our nation's
jails right now
616
00:24:46,667 --> 00:24:49,567
are the biggest mental health
institutions in the country.
617
00:24:49,667 --> 00:24:50,833
Wow.
618
00:24:50,933 --> 00:24:53,700
There's more mental health
treatment going on in jails
619
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,367
than in hospitals. Really?
620
00:24:55,467 --> 00:24:58,867
I have to see a counselor
every week here
621
00:24:58,967 --> 00:25:01,833
to unload my baggage.
622
00:25:01,933 --> 00:25:03,700
I've been through a lot
623
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,933
and I still possess a lot
of things inside of me
624
00:25:06,067 --> 00:25:09,300
that nobody can even imagine,
625
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,900
that I saw as a kid.
626
00:25:11,067 --> 00:25:13,700
Violent things? Yes.
627
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,376
Without going into
too much history, you know,
628
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,167
in the '70s, they closed
about a half a million
629
00:25:18,267 --> 00:25:19,933
in-patient mental health
facility beds
630
00:25:20,067 --> 00:25:22,800
and there was no safety net,
631
00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:25,933
and so today, unfortunately,
we see a lot of those people
632
00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:28,800
living under bridges
and in jail.
633
00:25:28,900 --> 00:25:33,133
And so it's an issue that our
communities have to address.
634
00:25:33,233 --> 00:25:36,100
So you have
a personal connection
635
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,867
to keeping these people
mentally healthy
636
00:25:38,967 --> 00:25:40,433
and physically okay and so on.
637
00:25:40,533 --> 00:25:42,433
It's my community. Right.
638
00:25:42,533 --> 00:25:45,633
(man)
For a person like me, I think
this place is awesome.
639
00:25:45,733 --> 00:25:46,600
(Jeff) Yeah?
640
00:25:46,700 --> 00:25:48,733
Saved my life a lot of times.
Wow.
641
00:25:48,833 --> 00:25:50,600
Here in Brazos County,
I slept under bridges,
642
00:25:50,700 --> 00:25:52,367
park benches, shit like that.
643
00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:55,067
Got real bad off on that dope
and come in a place like this,
644
00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:56,833
you get three meals
every day, you get...
645
00:25:56,933 --> 00:26:00,300
(clears throat)
You get a bath, shower
every day, you know?
646
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:01,840
So I'm feeling pretty good
right now.
647
00:26:01,867 --> 00:26:04,043
In the best shape of my life
coming to fucking jail, dude.
648
00:26:04,067 --> 00:26:05,667
Wow.
649
00:26:05,767 --> 00:26:08,767
So you have everything
from guys who got arrested
650
00:26:08,867 --> 00:26:10,209
for not having the proper
fishing license
651
00:26:10,233 --> 00:26:13,067
to murderers. That's right.
652
00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:14,600
At my show, in your jail.
653
00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:17,067
What if I talk about
the death penalty onstage?
654
00:26:17,133 --> 00:26:19,067
I mean, that's a big
issue in Texas.
655
00:26:19,100 --> 00:26:22,167
Texas does have the death
penalty as everybody knows,
656
00:26:22,267 --> 00:26:24,067
and there are people here
657
00:26:24,167 --> 00:26:27,467
who could be subject
to that penalty.
658
00:26:27,567 --> 00:26:30,467
This is a heavy state
for the death penalty, man.
659
00:26:30,567 --> 00:26:32,067
I have mixed feelings about it.
660
00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:33,567
I kinda understand it.
661
00:26:33,667 --> 00:26:36,733
You kill somebody, you might
have to pay the ultimate price.
662
00:26:36,833 --> 00:26:39,767
An eye for an eye,
a tooth for a tooth.
663
00:26:39,867 --> 00:26:41,907
Some of you look like you've
given more than others.
664
00:26:44,533 --> 00:26:46,867
But it's how we do it
that seems inhumane.
665
00:26:46,967 --> 00:26:49,367
You put somebody in an electric
chair and fry 'em...
666
00:26:49,467 --> 00:26:52,300
That's cruel to me.
667
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:53,640
I think if you're on death row,
668
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:57,667
you should be able to decide
how you die, right?
669
00:26:57,767 --> 00:27:00,167
"Hey, Phil Johnson,
you killed three people.
670
00:27:00,267 --> 00:27:01,867
We find you guilty."
671
00:27:01,967 --> 00:27:03,967
"Yes, Your Honor, I'd like to
ride a roller coaster
672
00:27:04,067 --> 00:27:06,067
without a seat belt."
673
00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:07,333
"I'll allow it!"
674
00:27:09,433 --> 00:27:11,300
"Your Honor, I'm a really big
Lakers fan.
675
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,833
I'd like to eat
Magic Johnson's Band-Aid."
676
00:27:13,933 --> 00:27:16,067
Uh...
677
00:27:16,133 --> 00:27:19,300
If I had to figure out how I was
gonna die on death row,
678
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,200
I already know
how I would want to die.
679
00:27:21,300 --> 00:27:24,067
I'd want to OD on
the three "P" s...
680
00:27:24,100 --> 00:27:26,100
Pizza, pot, and prostitutes.
681
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,867
(cheers and applause)
682
00:27:31,100 --> 00:27:34,833
I'd roll 20 fat joints,
I'd order 20 large pizzas,
683
00:27:34,933 --> 00:27:37,733
I'd order 20 fat hookers.
684
00:27:39,333 --> 00:27:41,167
Whatever kills me first,
I'm okay with.
685
00:27:41,267 --> 00:27:43,067
I figure the hookers
will eat the pizzas,
686
00:27:43,167 --> 00:27:45,500
and I'll die of the munchies.
687
00:27:53,700 --> 00:27:55,800
I feel like
if you can laugh at yourself,
688
00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:57,467
you can do anything
in this world,
689
00:27:57,567 --> 00:28:00,800
and I want to try speed roasting
volunteers in the audience.
690
00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:04,433
I'll take as many of you guys
as want to come up.
691
00:28:04,533 --> 00:28:06,400
All right.
Both of you guys can come up.
692
00:28:06,500 --> 00:28:08,567
All right, three? Huh?
693
00:28:08,667 --> 00:28:10,700
That guy up there,
back there, four, huh?
694
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,667
Come on, come on,
five, right there.
695
00:28:13,767 --> 00:28:16,633
All right. Come over here.
696
00:28:16,733 --> 00:28:19,900
Let's talk to Mexican
Uncle Fester first.
697
00:28:20,067 --> 00:28:21,667
What's your nationality?
698
00:28:21,767 --> 00:28:23,733
What's that?
What's your nationality?
699
00:28:23,833 --> 00:28:24,833
I'm Jewish.
700
00:28:24,867 --> 00:28:26,043
You don't have
no Mexican in you?
701
00:28:26,067 --> 00:28:28,800
No, I don't want any either.
702
00:28:28,900 --> 00:28:31,200
(laughter)
703
00:28:31,967 --> 00:28:36,067
I'm Jewish, but don't tell those
fucking Nazis up there.
704
00:28:38,767 --> 00:28:40,267
Let me see those tats, dude.
705
00:28:40,367 --> 00:28:41,767
Let me see those tats. Come on.
706
00:28:41,867 --> 00:28:44,100
Don't be shy,
let me see those tats.
707
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,400
(scattered cheering)
708
00:28:46,500 --> 00:28:47,767
(Jeff) Oh, my God.
709
00:28:47,867 --> 00:28:48,767
Whoo!
710
00:28:48,867 --> 00:28:50,500
Dude, let me just
tell you something.
711
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,467
You know, the war is over,
but tattoos are permanent.
712
00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:56,433
(Jeff laughing)
713
00:28:56,533 --> 00:28:58,267
Dude, that shit's supposed
to be tilted.
714
00:28:58,367 --> 00:28:59,500
You know that, right?
715
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,233
(scattered laughter)
716
00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:02,200
All right, well, fuck it,
717
00:29:02,300 --> 00:29:03,933
you'll fix it
in your next lifetime.
718
00:29:05,867 --> 00:29:07,400
Anyway, what's happening, dude?
719
00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:09,800
What's your name?
Robert Regalato.
720
00:29:09,900 --> 00:29:12,767
(raspy voice)
Robert Regalato.
Yeah.
721
00:29:12,867 --> 00:29:15,200
Why is your voice like that?
722
00:29:15,300 --> 00:29:16,309
What'd you fucking blow a horse?
723
00:29:16,333 --> 00:29:17,467
Are you all right?
724
00:29:17,567 --> 00:29:20,633
(laughter and applause)
725
00:29:26,067 --> 00:29:28,067
Dude, don't get too close,
all right?
726
00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:30,376
Dude, every time I turn around,
727
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,700
he gets creepier
and creepier-looking.
728
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,609
Come over here, man.
How you doing?
729
00:29:37,633 --> 00:29:39,900
(inmates shouting)
730
00:29:40,067 --> 00:29:41,733
Oh, shit, how do they know you?
731
00:29:41,833 --> 00:29:43,267
They roast me all the time.
732
00:29:43,367 --> 00:29:45,100
You do? You get roasted
all the time?
733
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,267
I don't give a fuck, so...
734
00:29:46,367 --> 00:29:48,167
(laughter)
735
00:29:48,267 --> 00:29:49,567
You don't give a fuck?
736
00:29:49,667 --> 00:29:51,700
You look like you get
a fuck every now and then.
737
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,533
This fucking guy.
Look at his fucking boots.
738
00:29:57,633 --> 00:29:58,909
Dude, my boots...
My boots are not fancy, dude.
739
00:29:58,933 --> 00:30:02,900
I'm sorry you're so dressed up.
740
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,967
Making fun of my clothes,
your shit don't even fit.
741
00:30:06,067 --> 00:30:08,867
(laughter and whooping)
742
00:30:08,967 --> 00:30:11,433
Dude, this is just
for fun, okay?
743
00:30:11,533 --> 00:30:13,309
I don't care how many shirts
you put under that,
744
00:30:13,333 --> 00:30:15,000
you're not gonna
be tough, all right?
745
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:19,167
How long you been in here, man?
746
00:30:19,267 --> 00:30:20,800
You look so young.
747
00:30:20,900 --> 00:30:22,167
I've been in here nine months.
748
00:30:22,267 --> 00:30:23,333
Nine months?
749
00:30:23,433 --> 00:30:24,933
Oh, just till she has the baby?
750
00:30:27,300 --> 00:30:29,100
I didn't say shit to that bitch.
751
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:29,967
Shh, be nice, come on, man.
752
00:30:30,067 --> 00:30:32,467
You're on TV right now.
753
00:30:32,567 --> 00:30:34,733
Say hi, you're on "Cops."
754
00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:36,400
Hi!
755
00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:38,367
I sell drugs.
756
00:30:38,467 --> 00:30:39,676
And look at this guy behind you.
757
00:30:39,700 --> 00:30:41,340
He looks like he could
use you as a dildo.
758
00:30:45,967 --> 00:30:47,400
Come here, come here, come here.
759
00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:48,543
How you doing, man?
How you doing?
760
00:30:48,567 --> 00:30:49,733
What's your name? Paul.
761
00:30:49,833 --> 00:30:51,500
Paul? What's going on, Paul?
762
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:52,743
Not a whole lot.
Not a whole lot?
763
00:30:52,767 --> 00:30:55,933
And what are you,
the bouncer here?
764
00:30:57,367 --> 00:30:58,667
Jesus.
765
00:30:58,767 --> 00:31:01,533
You got bigger tits
than the women's dorm.
766
00:31:02,833 --> 00:31:05,333
This was so fun.
What's up, dude?
767
00:31:05,433 --> 00:31:06,967
How you doing, man? All right.
768
00:31:07,067 --> 00:31:08,067
What's your name, man?
769
00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:09,400
Jason Crockett.
770
00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:10,667
Jason Crockett? (Man) Crash!
771
00:31:10,767 --> 00:31:13,967
They know you?
(inmates shouting)
Crash, Crash!
772
00:31:14,067 --> 00:31:15,200
How do you know...
773
00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:17,133
Oh, Crash?
Why they call you Crash?
774
00:31:17,233 --> 00:31:18,933
'Cause I crash a lot.
775
00:31:19,067 --> 00:31:21,933
(laughter)
776
00:31:23,067 --> 00:31:26,067
Guess that explains the three
missing teeth, huh?
777
00:31:28,833 --> 00:31:30,833
Least you're wearing
this helmet.
778
00:31:30,933 --> 00:31:32,867
(giggling)
779
00:31:32,967 --> 00:31:34,667
Am I allowed to ask
why you're here, Jason?
780
00:31:34,767 --> 00:31:38,133
Sure, drugs. Oh, yeah?
781
00:31:38,233 --> 00:31:39,833
I'm an alleged dope dealer.
782
00:31:39,933 --> 00:31:41,200
Alleged?
783
00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:48,267
And in reality, you're what,
a kindergarten teacher?
784
00:31:48,367 --> 00:31:50,067
(chuckling)
785
00:31:50,100 --> 00:31:51,933
No, I feel you, man.
786
00:31:52,067 --> 00:31:53,867
I hope it works out
for you.
Yeah, me too.
787
00:31:53,967 --> 00:31:56,200
What do you see
in your future, Jason?
788
00:31:56,300 --> 00:31:58,200
Hopefully not 25 to life.
789
00:31:58,300 --> 00:31:59,600
All right.
790
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,133
Tough to argue with that.
791
00:32:05,833 --> 00:32:08,567
You sold drugs
in the state of Texas?
792
00:32:08,667 --> 00:32:10,067
You get 25 years to life.
793
00:32:10,100 --> 00:32:14,333
If you did that in Colorado,
you'd be driving a Cadillac.
794
00:32:22,167 --> 00:32:23,433
(Jeff) Wow.
795
00:32:23,533 --> 00:32:25,367
Baking a cake.
796
00:32:25,467 --> 00:32:27,733
You're a regular chef, man.
797
00:32:27,833 --> 00:32:29,633
Yeah, that's what I plan
to do when I get out.
798
00:32:29,667 --> 00:32:30,700
Be a chef?
799
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,233
Yeah, I'm going
into culinary arts.
800
00:32:32,333 --> 00:32:33,343
Wow! I'm gonna use my FAFSA.
801
00:32:33,367 --> 00:32:35,767
Expand my mind
and stay out of here.
802
00:32:35,867 --> 00:32:37,700
Yeah. That's good, man.
803
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:38,800
Positive attitude.
804
00:32:38,833 --> 00:32:40,400
Yeah, it's kind of
rehabilitation.
805
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,067
Use the skills
that you learn in here,
806
00:32:42,167 --> 00:32:43,887
take it back out and do
something different.
807
00:32:43,967 --> 00:32:45,700
When do you put
the knife in there?
808
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,233
After it's done. (Chuckles)
809
00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:49,667
How you doing, man? All right.
810
00:32:49,767 --> 00:32:50,333
What's going on?
811
00:32:50,433 --> 00:32:54,167
(inmates shouting)
812
00:32:54,267 --> 00:32:55,400
Shh.
813
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:57,067
Dude, what are you,
a UFC fighter?
814
00:32:57,133 --> 00:32:59,067
Part time.
815
00:32:59,100 --> 00:33:01,933
I didn't know UFC stood
for "ugly fucking Chicano."
816
00:33:02,067 --> 00:33:02,700
What is this?
817
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,133
(laughter and applause)
818
00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:07,667
Damn!
819
00:33:08,133 --> 00:33:10,133
Dude, you're
a truly scary-loo...
(door slamming)
820
00:33:10,233 --> 00:33:12,133
Someone just escaped.
821
00:33:12,233 --> 00:33:14,133
(laughter)
822
00:33:14,233 --> 00:33:16,700
Shit.
823
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,209
Wait, are you guys laughing
extra loud
824
00:33:18,233 --> 00:33:21,067
'cause somebody's trying
to build a tunnel right now?
825
00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:23,267
Just making sure.
826
00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:24,100
Back there,
come up here, you guys.
827
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:27,600
Come up here, come up here, man.
828
00:33:27,700 --> 00:33:28,933
What's up, dude?
829
00:33:29,067 --> 00:33:30,500
How you doing, man? All right.
830
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,300
I'm Jeff. Insane.
831
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,500
Insane? Yeah.
832
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:37,767
Okay, uh...
833
00:33:40,100 --> 00:33:42,600
Insane...
834
00:33:42,700 --> 00:33:44,067
I assume they call you that
835
00:33:44,100 --> 00:33:47,067
because you're the most
well-adjusted, nicest guy here.
836
00:33:47,167 --> 00:33:48,833
So you're right.
837
00:33:48,933 --> 00:33:50,300
Right? So you're right.
838
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:51,800
I'm right.
839
00:33:51,900 --> 00:33:54,800
And when did you grow those
pubic hairs on your chin?
840
00:33:56,900 --> 00:33:58,100
Couple years ago.
841
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,533
(chuckles)
842
00:34:00,633 --> 00:34:01,833
All right, Insane.
843
00:34:01,933 --> 00:34:03,967
Can I check out
some of your tattoos?
844
00:34:04,067 --> 00:34:05,400
Yeah.
845
00:34:08,633 --> 00:34:10,100
Jesus.
846
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:14,267
Dude, that's like $20,000
worth of tattoos.
847
00:34:14,367 --> 00:34:16,800
You could make bond
for all these motherfuckers
848
00:34:16,900 --> 00:34:19,433
if you didn't have
those tattoos.
849
00:34:19,533 --> 00:34:20,700
What's this one over here?
850
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,243
That's my...
That's my daughter's name.
851
00:34:22,267 --> 00:34:23,576
It's supposed to have
been a rose.
852
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:27,067
Oh, yeah? Yeah. (Laughs)
853
00:34:27,167 --> 00:34:28,633
Supposed to have been a rose,
854
00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:31,067
now it's just a penis
with warts on it.
855
00:34:34,833 --> 00:34:36,176
What's the worst part
about being locked up?
856
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:39,333
Missing my family.
857
00:34:39,433 --> 00:34:41,167
I bet. Do they visit you?
858
00:34:41,267 --> 00:34:42,100
They visit me every
now and then.
859
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:44,133
Yeah. What's your
daughter's name?
860
00:34:44,233 --> 00:34:46,500
Liaza Serenity.
861
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,600
Oh, that's beautiful. (Chuckles)
862
00:34:48,700 --> 00:34:51,176
If she was here right now, what
would you say to her, honestly?
863
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:55,600
I'd tell her I love her
and Daddy'll be home soon.
864
00:34:55,700 --> 00:34:56,333
That's good enough.
865
00:34:56,433 --> 00:34:58,833
(cheers and applause)
866
00:34:58,933 --> 00:35:00,433
(Jeff) I hope so.
867
00:35:00,533 --> 00:35:01,800
You have kids waiting for you?
868
00:35:01,900 --> 00:35:02,433
Yeah, I got two kids.
869
00:35:02,533 --> 00:35:04,133
How old are they?
870
00:35:04,233 --> 00:35:05,667
Six and three.
871
00:35:05,767 --> 00:35:06,800
You miss 'em?
872
00:35:06,900 --> 00:35:08,300
Yeah, all day every day.
873
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:11,300
I got kids, man, so I do want
'em to be positive and get out.
874
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,709
Stay in, stay out.
You know what I'm saying?
875
00:35:12,733 --> 00:35:14,076
Who's waiting for you
on the outside?
876
00:35:14,100 --> 00:35:15,367
My family, my wife, my kids.
877
00:35:15,467 --> 00:35:18,067
(man)
My son was right there
when I got arrested.
878
00:35:18,133 --> 00:35:21,467
So he saw that.
Yeah, he was crying.
879
00:35:21,567 --> 00:35:22,733
He knew what was happening?
880
00:35:22,833 --> 00:35:23,500
Yeah, I talked to him
the other day.
881
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,300
He asked me where I was.
882
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,600
He said, "Daddy, you in jail?"
And I was like, "Yeah."
883
00:35:27,700 --> 00:35:29,200
He already knows about jail.
884
00:35:29,300 --> 00:35:33,100
I told him about it, all of it,
jail, the streets, everything.
885
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,067
So that would be
the worst-case scenario,
886
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:36,243
is your son grows up
and winds up in here.
887
00:35:36,267 --> 00:35:39,300
Mm-hmm.
888
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,500
Frank, come up here
for a second, Frank.
889
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,367
Oh, my God.
890
00:35:44,467 --> 00:35:45,476
Frank, how you doing, man?
891
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:47,133
I'm chilling,
I'm all right.
Yeah?
892
00:35:47,233 --> 00:35:50,367
How come I saw you in a cell
all by yourself today?
893
00:35:50,467 --> 00:35:52,067
What the hell happened?
894
00:35:52,100 --> 00:35:54,467
I'm not even making
that shit up.
895
00:35:56,533 --> 00:35:58,133
I'm getting ready for the show,
896
00:35:58,233 --> 00:35:59,900
I was like getting
my shit, getting...
897
00:36:00,067 --> 00:36:01,209
Walking down the hallway
and I see Frank like
898
00:36:01,233 --> 00:36:04,200
in a giant room behind glass
by himself going...
899
00:36:08,433 --> 00:36:10,200
Dude, what were you doing?
900
00:36:10,300 --> 00:36:13,067
No, they put me in there
so I could calm down.
901
00:36:13,133 --> 00:36:15,267
My wife come to see me today
and she had a ticket
902
00:36:15,367 --> 00:36:17,533
and she got arrested
'cause she had a warrant,
903
00:36:17,633 --> 00:36:18,967
and I went off a little bit.
904
00:36:19,067 --> 00:36:21,567
All right, first of all,
she came to see me.
905
00:36:24,767 --> 00:36:27,833
She happened
to stop and see you.
906
00:36:27,933 --> 00:36:29,900
I'm just teasing you, Frank,
you know that, man.
907
00:36:30,067 --> 00:36:31,143
I don't want
to get you all riled up.
908
00:36:31,167 --> 00:36:33,333
I ain't tripping,
I bet you pay good, shit.
909
00:36:33,433 --> 00:36:35,267
(laughter and applause)
910
00:36:35,367 --> 00:36:38,833
Fucking awesome.
911
00:36:38,933 --> 00:36:40,343
Why are you so jittery?
Are you okay?
912
00:36:40,367 --> 00:36:42,300
Are you nervous?
913
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:43,433
No, not really.
914
00:36:43,533 --> 00:36:46,200
Are the drugs in your ass
starting to kick in?
915
00:36:48,100 --> 00:36:49,800
Frank, you kinda
look like what happens
916
00:36:49,900 --> 00:36:52,833
when the morning-after pill
kinda works.
917
00:37:04,900 --> 00:37:06,100
(Jeff) What about the women?
918
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:07,443
Do you think they'll have
a sense of humor
919
00:37:07,467 --> 00:37:08,633
about their situation?
920
00:37:08,733 --> 00:37:09,767
Yeah, I think so.
921
00:37:09,867 --> 00:37:11,300
Everybody likes to laugh.
922
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:12,533
(women laughing)
923
00:37:12,633 --> 00:37:14,209
(Dicky)
If you will,
put your hands together
924
00:37:14,233 --> 00:37:18,967
and help us welcome my good
friend, Jeff Ross.
925
00:37:19,067 --> 00:37:20,400
(cheers and applause)
926
00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:22,300
Wow. What's up?!
927
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,533
Crazy.
928
00:37:24,633 --> 00:37:26,800
What's happening?
929
00:37:26,900 --> 00:37:27,600
All right, how you doing?
930
00:37:27,700 --> 00:37:29,633
This is awesome. (Cheering)
931
00:37:29,733 --> 00:37:31,800
Wow. How you doing?
932
00:37:31,900 --> 00:37:33,333
This is crazy.
933
00:37:33,433 --> 00:37:34,433
This must be hell,
934
00:37:34,533 --> 00:37:36,867
all these women
wearing the same outfit.
935
00:37:36,967 --> 00:37:39,733
(laughter)
936
00:37:39,833 --> 00:37:43,500
Orange is the new
very black, look at you.
937
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,300
Man!
938
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,900
You're beautiful.
939
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,433
What's going on?
940
00:37:51,533 --> 00:37:53,867
Have you been in here long
enough to find me attractive?
941
00:37:53,967 --> 00:37:55,667
Whoo! Huh?
942
00:38:00,067 --> 00:38:01,867
Oh, look at this,
this is awesome.
943
00:38:01,967 --> 00:38:04,133
We got Justin Bieber here.
944
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,267
Take a bow, take a bow.
945
00:38:09,367 --> 00:38:10,443
This is a trip for sure, man.
946
00:38:10,467 --> 00:38:15,900
I have never done a show
for all women before
947
00:38:16,067 --> 00:38:19,167
and I've never done
a show inside a jail before,
948
00:38:19,267 --> 00:38:21,067
so this is huge for me.
949
00:38:21,100 --> 00:38:23,300
Thank you.
950
00:38:25,867 --> 00:38:27,167
Good thing about a jail show is,
951
00:38:27,267 --> 00:38:28,376
nobody gets up and walks out.
952
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,767
(laughter)
953
00:38:31,867 --> 00:38:32,876
I wanted to fit in
with the guys,
954
00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:34,467
so I shaved my head
like an inmate.
955
00:38:34,567 --> 00:38:37,933
(cheers and applause)
956
00:38:38,067 --> 00:38:39,567
Now I find myself touching...
957
00:38:39,667 --> 00:38:41,933
Doing this all the time,
958
00:38:42,067 --> 00:38:43,767
which is good,
'cause it keeps me
959
00:38:43,867 --> 00:38:45,633
from touching
my balls in public.
960
00:38:47,533 --> 00:38:48,633
Wow.
961
00:38:48,733 --> 00:38:51,267
One guy, 50 female prisoners.
962
00:38:51,367 --> 00:38:54,100
This is like the first scene
of every porno I've ever seen.
963
00:38:55,633 --> 00:39:00,067
I feel like I should be
delivering a pizza
or something.
964
00:39:00,133 --> 00:39:02,367
How many people have been
in here more than once?
965
00:39:02,467 --> 00:39:03,600
No kidding.
966
00:39:03,700 --> 00:39:07,500
What is this, summer camp?
967
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:08,967
How you doing, darling?
968
00:39:09,067 --> 00:39:09,833
I'm good. How you doing?
969
00:39:09,933 --> 00:39:11,400
Hold on, whoa, whoa, whoa.
970
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:15,900
What's your...
971
00:39:16,067 --> 00:39:17,143
I'm Big Mama Joe,
that's my name.
972
00:39:17,167 --> 00:39:19,067
Big Mama Joe. Wow.
973
00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:20,400
It's raining men, hallelujah.
974
00:39:20,500 --> 00:39:22,133
It's raining men, hallelujah?
975
00:39:22,233 --> 00:39:23,467
Yeah. No shit.
976
00:39:23,567 --> 00:39:26,967
You look so...
Move back, stop it.
977
00:39:27,067 --> 00:39:28,700
You're making people nervous.
978
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:30,067
Seriously, Kev, come on.
979
00:39:30,133 --> 00:39:31,300
You can't follow me.
980
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,176
Stay over there.
We're doing a show over here.
981
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:37,067
This is between me
and Big Mama Joe.
982
00:39:37,100 --> 00:39:38,333
That's right.
983
00:39:38,433 --> 00:39:39,609
And her three illegitimate
daughters behind her.
984
00:39:39,633 --> 00:39:41,400
There you go.
985
00:39:41,500 --> 00:39:43,400
There you go.
986
00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:45,333
I'm making some
child support payments...
987
00:39:45,433 --> 00:39:47,467
(muttering) What's that?
988
00:39:47,567 --> 00:39:50,467
Child support for them three
illegitimate kids.
989
00:39:50,567 --> 00:39:51,400
Child support?
990
00:39:51,500 --> 00:39:53,900
How about some boob support?
991
00:39:54,067 --> 00:39:55,667
(laughter)
992
00:39:59,633 --> 00:40:00,633
You're all right.
993
00:40:00,700 --> 00:40:02,340
Big Mama Joe, you're not
my mama, are you?
994
00:40:02,367 --> 00:40:05,000
I might be. You are adorable.
995
00:40:05,100 --> 00:40:07,800
You are my favorite smurf,
by the way.
996
00:40:09,867 --> 00:40:10,700
This is so much fun.
997
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,600
It means so much that you ladies
998
00:40:12,700 --> 00:40:15,400
would have a sense of humor
about your situation.
999
00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:17,933
Oh, wait, what is this
right here?
1000
00:40:18,033 --> 00:40:19,200
Is that a baby in there?
1001
00:40:19,300 --> 00:40:20,900
Yeah. Really?
1002
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,967
Can you come here for a second?
1003
00:40:23,067 --> 00:40:24,633
Can I see it? Oh, can I...
1004
00:40:24,733 --> 00:40:25,767
What's your name?
1005
00:40:25,867 --> 00:40:26,767
My name's Autumn.
1006
00:40:26,867 --> 00:40:27,867
Autumn? Autumn.
1007
00:40:27,967 --> 00:40:29,167
Oh, wow.
1008
00:40:29,267 --> 00:40:30,843
Why are you here?
Did you rob a sperm bank?
1009
00:40:30,867 --> 00:40:34,067
No. (Laughter)
1010
00:40:34,167 --> 00:40:35,200
You look so cute. No.
1011
00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:36,900
Are you eating for two? Yeah.
1012
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,933
Did you steal for two?
1013
00:40:40,033 --> 00:40:42,267
That's awesome.
1014
00:40:42,367 --> 00:40:43,533
This is good for the baby,
1015
00:40:43,633 --> 00:40:45,343
it's good for the baby
to hear you laughing.
1016
00:40:45,367 --> 00:40:47,400
That's good for the baby's
development.
1017
00:40:47,500 --> 00:40:51,667
Imagine if I was licking
your pussy right now,
1018
00:40:51,767 --> 00:40:52,667
how good it would be for the...
1019
00:40:52,767 --> 00:40:54,400
(cheers and laughter)
1020
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:58,100
For the baby's development.
1021
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:02,867
I'm sorry if I go too far.
I'll be careful.
1022
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:10,067
Who's got the balls
to come up here?
1023
00:41:10,133 --> 00:41:11,867
All right, come up here.
One, two, three.
1024
00:41:11,967 --> 00:41:12,833
All right, we got it.
1025
00:41:12,933 --> 00:41:14,867
Four, over there, over there.
1026
00:41:14,967 --> 00:41:17,567
(cheers and applause)
1027
00:41:21,067 --> 00:41:21,500
All right, come on down, ladies.
1028
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:23,667
That's it?
1029
00:41:23,767 --> 00:41:25,267
And one more?
1030
00:41:25,367 --> 00:41:26,967
What's going on? How you doing?
1031
00:41:27,067 --> 00:41:28,333
Doing great, how are you?
1032
00:41:28,433 --> 00:41:29,967
What's your name? Country.
1033
00:41:30,067 --> 00:41:32,567
Country? Wow.
1034
00:41:32,667 --> 00:41:34,967
Man.
1035
00:41:35,067 --> 00:41:35,833
Why do they call you Country?
1036
00:41:35,933 --> 00:41:38,867
Because that's how I talk.
1037
00:41:38,967 --> 00:41:39,800
Obviously.
1038
00:41:39,900 --> 00:41:41,367
How long you been here, Country?
1039
00:41:41,467 --> 00:41:43,233
I've been here
about seven months.
1040
00:41:43,333 --> 00:41:44,067
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
1041
00:41:44,100 --> 00:41:45,800
Wow. How you holding up?
1042
00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:48,767
I'd be a lot better if I could
be outside and free.
1043
00:41:48,867 --> 00:41:50,600
Who's waiting for you out there?
1044
00:41:50,700 --> 00:41:51,800
My two kids.
1045
00:41:51,900 --> 00:41:53,067
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
1046
00:41:53,133 --> 00:41:55,100
That must be so hard,
I can't even imagine.
1047
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,233
Mm-hmm, it's hard,
but I'm making it.
1048
00:41:58,333 --> 00:42:00,100
So you have to call
the baby-sitter and say,
1049
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:01,443
"I don't know when I'm
gonna be home, but..."
1050
00:42:01,467 --> 00:42:04,200
"I'll pay you soon." (laughing)
1051
00:42:04,300 --> 00:42:06,867
"Help yourself to whatever's
in the fridge."
Yeah.
1052
00:42:06,967 --> 00:42:08,633
This is so fun.
Hold on, Country.
1053
00:42:08,733 --> 00:42:09,500
Let's talk to...
1054
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,100
Unfold your arms. Loosen up.
1055
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:12,067
It's gonna be okay.
1056
00:42:12,100 --> 00:42:15,067
You look so beautiful in orange.
1057
00:42:15,100 --> 00:42:16,200
Thank you.
1058
00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:17,467
What's your name? Kat.
1059
00:42:17,567 --> 00:42:18,333
Kat? Yeah.
1060
00:42:18,433 --> 00:42:20,600
Me-ow. (Laughter)
1061
00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:24,776
What's the hardest part about
being in jail right now?
1062
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:26,700
I miss my kids.
1063
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,067
You miss your kids. Yeah.
1064
00:42:29,100 --> 00:42:31,800
Well, and they can't
come visit, can they?
1065
00:42:31,900 --> 00:42:33,100
I don't want them to.
1066
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:34,543
You don't want them
to see you up here.
1067
00:42:34,567 --> 00:42:36,067
Especially with that hairstyle.
1068
00:42:36,167 --> 00:42:39,300
No shit. Right?
1069
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:40,576
I'm sweating like
a hooker talking to...
1070
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:44,100
What's that? What'd you say?
1071
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:44,833
I said I was sweating
like a hooker
1072
00:42:44,933 --> 00:42:46,500
talking to a beat cop.
1073
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,533
(laughter)
1074
00:42:48,633 --> 00:42:51,767
Well, we got a beat cop,
you're the hooker.
1075
00:42:51,867 --> 00:42:54,600
It's all working out.
1076
00:42:54,700 --> 00:42:55,700
This is so fun.
1077
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:57,800
Let's talk to the librarian
for a second.
1078
00:42:57,900 --> 00:42:58,633
(laughter)
1079
00:42:58,733 --> 00:43:00,967
Come right over here.
1080
00:43:01,067 --> 00:43:03,167
How you doing?
I'm good, how are you?
1081
00:43:03,267 --> 00:43:04,667
What's happening?
What's your name?
1082
00:43:04,767 --> 00:43:06,200
I'm Holly. Holly.
1083
00:43:06,300 --> 00:43:08,100
Holy Holly.
1084
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,300
What's your stor... Shh.
1085
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:11,967
(woman) Tell him your last name.
1086
00:43:12,067 --> 00:43:13,200
Why, they teasing you?
1087
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:13,867
You got a funny last name?
1088
00:43:13,967 --> 00:43:16,067
Yeah, it's Hooker.
1089
00:43:16,133 --> 00:43:19,467
(laughter and applause)
1090
00:43:19,567 --> 00:43:21,700
That's why I came up here, Jeff.
1091
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:23,667
Holly Hooker?
1092
00:43:25,867 --> 00:43:28,867
What? Yeah, yeah.
1093
00:43:28,967 --> 00:43:30,433
Get outta here!
1094
00:43:35,100 --> 00:43:36,733
Do you need reading glasses?
1095
00:43:42,767 --> 00:43:45,300
(laughter)
1096
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:46,776
Do you accept...
Do you accept collect calls?
1097
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:48,733
What's that?
Do you accept
collect calls?
1098
00:43:48,833 --> 00:43:51,433
(laughter)
1099
00:43:51,533 --> 00:43:53,067
Come here, come here, come here.
1100
00:43:53,133 --> 00:43:55,500
How you doing? (Chuckles)
1101
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,067
How you doing? I'm good.
1102
00:43:57,100 --> 00:43:58,200
What's happening?
1103
00:43:58,300 --> 00:44:00,400
Mmm... nothing.
1104
00:44:02,333 --> 00:44:03,973
Is anybody waiting for you
on the outside?
1105
00:44:04,067 --> 00:44:05,533
My babies, my two babies.
1106
00:44:05,633 --> 00:44:08,800
Everybody has two babies,
that's a lot of babies.
1107
00:44:08,900 --> 00:44:10,400
That's not bad.
1108
00:44:10,500 --> 00:44:13,133
Big Mama had two
since the show started.
1109
00:44:13,233 --> 00:44:16,400
(laughter)
1110
00:44:19,733 --> 00:44:22,167
That's your next woman.
What's that?
1111
00:44:22,267 --> 00:44:23,376
Ain't she your next girlfriend?
1112
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,467
She would be, but she has
to get back to work
1113
00:44:25,567 --> 00:44:27,447
at the Country Bear
jamboree over at Disneyland.
1114
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:31,760
What's your name? I'm Shaina.
1115
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:32,633
Shaina.
1116
00:44:32,733 --> 00:44:35,200
Were you arrested for, what?
1117
00:44:35,300 --> 00:44:36,500
Theft. I'm guessing it was...
1118
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:40,367
Theft, really? Yep.
1119
00:44:40,467 --> 00:44:42,367
I figured you were here
for arson,
1120
00:44:42,467 --> 00:44:44,067
'cause my pants
are on fire right now.
1121
00:44:44,167 --> 00:44:49,067
(cheers and applause)
1122
00:44:49,167 --> 00:44:50,300
So, come here, Shaina.
1123
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:51,500
Theft, that's pretty heavy.
1124
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:54,067
Are you allowed to tell me
what you stole?
1125
00:44:54,100 --> 00:44:56,433
Baby food.
1126
00:44:56,533 --> 00:44:58,200
Cut the bullshit.
1127
00:44:58,300 --> 00:45:00,467
Baby food? Baby formula.
1128
00:45:00,567 --> 00:45:02,400
Baby formula? Mm-hmm.
1129
00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:02,933
From what, another baby?
1130
00:45:03,067 --> 00:45:06,067
(laughter)
1131
00:45:06,133 --> 00:45:06,800
Are you married? Not yet.
1132
00:45:06,900 --> 00:45:09,267
Not yet?
1133
00:45:09,367 --> 00:45:11,333
What do you think's
more important?
1134
00:45:11,433 --> 00:45:15,733
Sense of humor or penis size?
1135
00:45:15,900 --> 00:45:18,567
Shh...
1136
00:45:18,667 --> 00:45:20,900
Both.
1137
00:45:21,067 --> 00:45:24,533
(laughter and applause)
1138
00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:27,433
All right, well,
1139
00:45:27,533 --> 00:45:29,800
I have an 11-inch
sense of humor, so...
1140
00:45:29,900 --> 00:45:30,967
All right, ladies.
1141
00:45:31,067 --> 00:45:33,200
Group hug, group hug.
1142
00:45:33,300 --> 00:45:34,200
Thank you.
1143
00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:36,100
Thank you, ladies. Thank you.
1144
00:45:39,867 --> 00:45:43,567
(inmates shouting)
1145
00:45:48,933 --> 00:45:49,933
(Jeff) My turn.
1146
00:45:49,967 --> 00:45:51,067
Here you go.
1147
00:45:51,100 --> 00:45:52,267
A lot of air balls here.
1148
00:45:52,367 --> 00:45:54,533
At least something's free
around here.
1149
00:45:56,700 --> 00:45:58,700
Look at the white guys
just not even participating.
1150
00:45:58,767 --> 00:46:00,300
They don't even want to play.
1151
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:01,680
This basketball's got more lumps
1152
00:46:01,733 --> 00:46:04,133
than your mama's ass right here.
1153
00:46:04,233 --> 00:46:05,800
(laughing) Man.
1154
00:46:05,900 --> 00:46:08,767
Oh, shit! Oh!
1155
00:46:08,867 --> 00:46:11,367
Is this normal, for the white
guys and the black guys to hang
1156
00:46:11,467 --> 00:46:12,543
or is it just 'cause I'm here?
1157
00:46:12,567 --> 00:46:14,067
Ain't no racism in here, man.
1158
00:46:14,133 --> 00:46:15,167
Everybody love everybody.
1159
00:46:15,267 --> 00:46:16,767
I love Africans, Asians.
1160
00:46:16,867 --> 00:46:18,700
We still the same,
we all made the same.
1161
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,200
We all gotta do the time,
so there ain't no point
1162
00:46:21,300 --> 00:46:22,409
in hating each other doing it.
1163
00:46:22,433 --> 00:46:23,467
That's a good point.
1164
00:46:23,567 --> 00:46:24,567
Right here, right here.
1165
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:26,467
"Brazos," that's an old
Indian word,
1166
00:46:26,567 --> 00:46:27,067
it means "My lawyer sucks."
1167
00:46:27,100 --> 00:46:29,900
(laughter)
1168
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:36,100
(guitar playing)
1169
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:41,567
I feel connected to you guys
in ways I never thought I would.
1170
00:46:41,667 --> 00:46:43,043
I'm a big believer
in second chances.
1171
00:46:43,067 --> 00:46:45,667
(man) Amen, man.
1172
00:46:45,767 --> 00:46:47,867
Bill Gates,
when he was a teenager,
1173
00:46:47,967 --> 00:46:50,567
he got arrested for driving
without a license,
1174
00:46:50,667 --> 00:46:53,067
went to jail
for a couple days, came out,
1175
00:46:53,133 --> 00:46:54,800
went in his garage,
invented the computer.
1176
00:46:54,900 --> 00:46:58,867
Now he's the richest man
in the world.
1177
00:46:58,967 --> 00:47:02,367
So my advice to you guys,
when you get out of jail...
1178
00:47:02,467 --> 00:47:03,700
rob Bill Gates.
1179
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:07,067
(laughter and applause)
1180
00:47:07,167 --> 00:47:08,867
Whoo!
1181
00:47:10,933 --> 00:47:13,200
You know who Nelson Mandela is?
1182
00:47:14,833 --> 00:47:17,233
Nazis, you know
who Nelson Mandela is?
1183
00:47:23,900 --> 00:47:27,733
He was a great black man,
so go fuck yourselves.
1184
00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:36,833
Nelson Mandela was in prison
for 27 years,
1185
00:47:36,933 --> 00:47:39,067
and he used that time
not to go crazy.
1186
00:47:39,167 --> 00:47:41,967
He used that time to completely
change who he was.
1187
00:47:42,067 --> 00:47:44,933
He became Morgan Freeman,
the greatest actor of our time.
1188
00:47:50,433 --> 00:47:52,500
I wrote a song for you guys.
1189
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:54,067
(guitar continues)
1190
00:47:54,133 --> 00:47:56,067
(whooping and cheering)
1191
00:47:56,100 --> 00:47:58,767
(whistling)
1192
00:47:58,867 --> 00:48:01,067
Come on, black guys,
help me keep the beat.
1193
00:48:03,700 --> 00:48:06,533
* The food in here stinks
1194
00:48:06,633 --> 00:48:08,833
* The two-tone turkey
made me ralph *
1195
00:48:08,933 --> 00:48:11,367
(inmates) Yeah! Yeah!
1196
00:48:11,467 --> 00:48:13,067
Yeah!
1197
00:48:13,167 --> 00:48:18,200
* I had to toss a salad just
to get that taste out my mouth *
1198
00:48:23,933 --> 00:48:26,633
* Stuck in Brazos County
1199
00:48:26,733 --> 00:48:29,067
* Where the food just sucks *
1200
00:48:29,133 --> 00:48:31,333
(man) Yeah!
1201
00:48:31,433 --> 00:48:32,900
Hey, but listen, dude.
1202
00:48:33,067 --> 00:48:36,367
* That's what you deserve *
1203
00:48:36,467 --> 00:48:39,167
* When you rob a taco truck
1204
00:48:39,267 --> 00:48:42,500
(guitar continues)
1205
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:44,467
Let me see that haircut.
1206
00:48:44,567 --> 00:48:46,287
He's got the little thing
on the back there.
1207
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:50,900
Dude, what is that shit?
1208
00:48:51,067 --> 00:48:54,167
Can I see the back of that
for a second?
1209
00:48:54,267 --> 00:48:57,400
No, I thought a squirrel ran by,
I was like, "What the fuck?"
1210
00:48:57,500 --> 00:49:01,633
(laughter)
1211
00:49:01,733 --> 00:49:04,133
Dude, you got the beard on
backwards.
1212
00:49:11,767 --> 00:49:12,887
* This guy, he don't like me
1213
00:49:12,967 --> 00:49:15,967
* He's in here
for manslaughter *
1214
00:49:16,067 --> 00:49:20,067
* I hope he don't figure out
I finger-banged his daughter *
1215
00:49:22,300 --> 00:49:24,333
* Stuck in Brazos County
1216
00:49:24,433 --> 00:49:27,067
* With you bunch of thugs *
1217
00:49:27,167 --> 00:49:30,867
Yeah!
1218
00:49:30,967 --> 00:49:32,833
* And those guys up
in the balcony *
1219
00:49:32,933 --> 00:49:36,567
* With the swastika tattoos
1220
00:49:36,667 --> 00:49:39,700
* Look like they could use
a hug *
1221
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:43,933
(guitar continues)
1222
00:49:44,067 --> 00:49:46,500
* Thank you, Brazos County
1223
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:51,733
* My time here today has
been intense *
1224
00:49:51,833 --> 00:49:54,133
Yeah. (Man) Yeah!
1225
00:49:54,233 --> 00:49:57,933
* And I'll see y'all again
on the outside *
1226
00:49:58,067 --> 00:50:01,133
* Soon as y'all hop that fence *
1227
00:50:01,233 --> 00:50:04,133
(cheers and applause)
1228
00:50:04,233 --> 00:50:06,033
Good night, everybody.
1229
00:50:06,133 --> 00:50:07,233
Thank you.
1230
00:50:07,333 --> 00:50:08,933
(cheering continues)
1231
00:50:09,033 --> 00:50:09,467
Thank you.
1232
00:50:09,567 --> 00:50:11,133
Thank you.
1233
00:50:11,233 --> 00:50:14,000
(cheers and applause)
1234
00:50:21,100 --> 00:50:22,100
Thank you.
1235
00:50:22,167 --> 00:50:24,067
Cheers.
1236
00:50:24,167 --> 00:50:25,167
(man) Cheers.
1237
00:50:25,233 --> 00:50:27,967
Oh, my God. Mmm.
1238
00:50:28,067 --> 00:50:30,067
That tastes better than freedom.
1239
00:50:30,167 --> 00:50:31,333
(laughter)
1240
00:50:31,433 --> 00:50:32,500
You got me.
1241
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:34,633
(laughter continues)
1242
00:50:34,733 --> 00:50:35,900
All right!
1243
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:39,133
(Jeff)
Enough with the bread already.
1244
00:50:45,933 --> 00:50:47,733
Forty, you've been around.
What's the story?
1245
00:50:47,833 --> 00:50:49,833
Any words of wisdom
you want to pass on
1246
00:50:49,933 --> 00:50:52,600
to the younger people
that are here?
1247
00:50:52,700 --> 00:50:55,167
Stay in school. Don't be a fool.
1248
00:50:55,267 --> 00:50:57,000
(laughter and applause)
87571
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