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MELIANDE PRODUCTIONS
presents
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FUCK FUCK
BRAZILIAN STYLE
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Screenplay by:
I. WILL IMPROVIZE
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00:00:50,709 --> 00:00:52,709
Cinematography
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00:00:53,039 --> 00:00:55,039
Production Manager
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00:00:57,305 --> 00:00:59,305
Editing
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00:01:06,214 --> 00:01:08,214
Music by
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00:01:12,204 --> 00:01:14,204
Make-up
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00:01:15,279 --> 00:01:17,279
Production Assistants
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00:01:23,130 --> 00:01:25,130
Assistant Director
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00:01:25,437 --> 00:01:27,437
Electricians
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00:01:32,762 --> 00:01:35,762
Sound Technicians:
Those Lazy Bastards at Szankovski's
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Executive Producer
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00:01:49,394 --> 00:01:52,394
Producers:
?
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Directed by
J. A. Nunes
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Hi! I am Siri.
( siri = crab )
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I cannot speak, but even so
I was asked to tell you my story.
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Since my voice is telephatic,
and I have total control over it,
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00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:29,140
I have chosen this beautiful voice
that you are now listening.
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00:02:29,222 --> 00:02:31,222
Well, let�s get to the point.
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00:02:31,272 --> 00:02:34,270
Long as I remember, I�ve been a dwarf.
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00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,946
Left home when I was a kid,
and went to work for Mr. Julio and Mrs. Lia.
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00:02:37,996 --> 00:02:39,996
For them, I was like part of the family.
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00:02:42,506 --> 00:02:46,176
Come here, Siri,
I'm gonna teach you how to swim.
25
00:02:46,226 --> 00:02:48,351
Come here, boy!
That's it!
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00:02:49,957 --> 00:02:52,803
That's right... Move your hands
and feet... There's no secret!
27
00:02:52,853 --> 00:02:55,573
See? It's easy!
Just keep moving.
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00:02:55,817 --> 00:02:59,362
Your hands, your feet...
It's easy, isn't it?
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00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:01,412
Yeah, that's it...
30
00:03:01,804 --> 00:03:04,804
- Honey... Your juice...
- Oh, thanks!
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00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:10,078
- Goodbye, honey.
- Goodbye, love.
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00:06:10,936 --> 00:06:13,436
Take good care of her,
OK, big boy?
33
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:20,439
Mr. Julio left early
every single day.
34
00:06:21,818 --> 00:06:23,818
and I took care of the house
and of Mrs. Lia.
35
00:06:24,861 --> 00:06:27,361
There was even time
for some leisure.
36
00:06:28,266 --> 00:06:31,266
Oh... Come here, my hero...
37
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:39,338
My hero...
Oh, my great little hero...
38
00:06:44,501 --> 00:06:46,501
My hero...
39
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,320
My little big hero...
40
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,039
Oh, no! Again?
41
00:07:39,114 --> 00:07:41,114
Even with your helmet on?
42
00:08:44,479 --> 00:08:48,454
- Hi...
- Hi, baby... You're home...
43
00:08:49,651 --> 00:08:52,719
- I brought you a gift.
- Aw, thanks, you're so nice...
44
00:08:52,769 --> 00:08:57,145
- And one for you too, Siri.
"Every friday, he brought us gifts."
45
00:08:57,195 --> 00:09:01,056
"For Mrs. Lia it was always
perfumes, jewels, expensive stuff."
46
00:09:01,106 --> 00:09:03,106
"But for me..."
47
00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:49,883
We had an old friend of the family
coming home for dinner.
48
00:09:49,933 --> 00:09:53,078
I knew I was gonna have
a lot of work.
49
00:14:33,976 --> 00:14:35,976
Siri...
50
00:14:36,828 --> 00:14:40,398
Go to the kitchen
and bring me some butter!
51
00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:05,204
Ah! Rub it on
Claudinha's bunghole.
52
00:15:05,254 --> 00:15:08,429
She ain't no Maria Schneider,
but I'm gonna fuck her ass.
53
00:15:08,479 --> 00:15:12,814
Listen, you ain't no Marlon Brando
either, you know?
54
00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:17,303
Gimme...
You can go and rest now.
55
00:15:17,447 --> 00:15:19,447
Turn around!
56
00:15:47,999 --> 00:15:52,011
Baby... By the viscosity, it feels
like this is margarine...
57
00:15:52,061 --> 00:15:56,272
Well, it is margarine indeed.
We are not in Paris, this is Brazil.
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00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,702
My butt only accepts butter!
59
00:16:29,187 --> 00:16:33,437
A man has got to fuck
what a man has got to fuck...
60
00:16:43,884 --> 00:16:46,689
Come here, baby!!
Don't run away!!
61
00:16:46,796 --> 00:16:49,158
Come back here, Siri!
Come back!!
62
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:51,853
Open this door, Siri!!
Open the door!!
63
00:16:51,984 --> 00:16:53,984
Come on, hurry up!
64
00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:56,133
Come on Siri, I promess
I won't hurt you...
65
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,478
I'll put some butter on it!
66
00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:02,397
Come on my little Siri,
open this door!
67
00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:06,315
Come on, open the door,
or I'll break it down!
68
00:17:06,410 --> 00:17:08,450
Open that fuckin' door!!
69
00:17:11,718 --> 00:17:14,608
Why, you little...
Piece of shit...
70
00:17:14,904 --> 00:17:17,964
I drink, I do...
But I'm surviving...
71
00:17:21,229 --> 00:17:26,074
Some people never drink
and end up dying! I drink, I drink
72
00:17:26,328 --> 00:17:29,388
I drink, I do...
But I'm surviving...
73
00:17:32,506 --> 00:17:36,076
Some people never drink
and end up dying...
74
00:17:38,427 --> 00:17:42,592
Some people are already
stepping in their grave...
75
00:17:43,035 --> 00:17:46,010
One for the saint and...
Ouch! Oops!
76
00:17:48,129 --> 00:17:50,129
Shit... What the fuck!
77
00:17:50,664 --> 00:17:53,894
One grave here... Well...
Let me see...
78
00:17:54,292 --> 00:17:56,417
I'm gonna pee right here!
79
00:17:56,491 --> 00:17:59,806
Let me get my stuff out...
Here we go...
80
00:18:02,264 --> 00:18:05,919
Oh, yeah... That's what
I'm talking about...
81
00:18:13,111 --> 00:18:15,821
What a delicious relief...
82
00:18:20,913 --> 00:18:25,333
Some people already have their
feet on their grave...
83
00:18:28,848 --> 00:18:30,848
Hey, what the fuck!?!?
84
00:18:31,379 --> 00:18:35,629
Calm down, boy, what the fuck
do you want with me!?
85
00:18:36,577 --> 00:18:39,637
Hey, my umbrella!
Give it back to me!
86
00:18:40,442 --> 00:18:43,917
Help! I'm being robbed!
My umbrella!
87
00:18:45,929 --> 00:18:49,414
Hey! Come here!
Gimme me back my umbrella!
88
00:18:49,942 --> 00:18:52,322
You fucking thief!
Come here!
89
00:18:52,428 --> 00:18:54,428
Sunnuvabitch!!
90
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:59,575
I told you, he is not here! Yeah!
He is working at the island!
91
00:19:00,052 --> 00:19:04,727
Carlinhos and Marinho took
6 bitches to their apartment.
92
00:19:04,855 --> 00:19:08,170
Doing what?
Are you sure you don't know?
93
00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:14,981
Yo, voodoo chicken,
where the fuck are you going?
94
00:19:15,651 --> 00:19:17,151
You little shit...
95
00:19:49,718 --> 00:19:51,718
I'm out of here.
96
00:19:52,144 --> 00:19:55,408
Now I know why Mr. Julio
gave me all those dildos!
97
00:19:55,458 --> 00:19:59,020
Motherfucker was trying
to fuck my bungholio!
98
00:19:59,070 --> 00:20:01,070
But he won't. I'm going
far away from here.
99
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:05,621
He will never see me again.
WTF!?
100
00:20:05,749 --> 00:20:09,489
I ain't no fag, Mr. Julio.
I am really macho!
101
00:20:09,919 --> 00:20:13,064
Old Siri's ass was made
for exit only.
102
00:20:13,340 --> 00:20:15,340
No entrance allowed!
103
00:20:17,924 --> 00:20:21,979
WE RENT ROOMS FOR BOYS
OF ALL AGES AND SIZES
104
00:20:23,202 --> 00:20:26,177
(portuguese music
with a gay accent)
105
00:20:56,243 --> 00:20:58,243
Ouch! Fuck me, Jesus!
106
00:20:58,303 --> 00:21:00,768
What do you want, little one?
107
00:21:05,938 --> 00:21:07,938
We do have rooms.
Do you have money?
108
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:14,671
Oh, Amanda!
Amanda!
109
00:21:15,281 --> 00:21:17,281
Yes, Manuel?
110
00:21:17,345 --> 00:21:19,980
Set up a room for the boy here.
111
00:21:25,135 --> 00:21:27,260
Take the money first, eh?
112
00:21:37,393 --> 00:21:40,113
Look, Smokey!
Your new room mate!
113
00:21:40,568 --> 00:21:42,568
Great, partner!
Great!
114
00:21:42,938 --> 00:21:44,938
That is your bed.
115
00:22:00,864 --> 00:22:04,830
Check it out, bro.
I am the boss around here, OK?
116
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,705
So don't fuck around with
the dago bitch, huh?
117
00:22:09,522 --> 00:22:13,092
Don't you mess around
with her, understand?
118
00:22:13,404 --> 00:22:15,784
One more thing:
do you snore?
119
00:22:16,555 --> 00:22:17,555
Fart?
120
00:22:19,109 --> 00:22:21,109
Cause if you snore...
121
00:22:21,161 --> 00:22:25,156
And if you fart, I'll stick
a cigar up your ass!
122
00:22:38,405 --> 00:22:42,825
(this is that song from
the intro of Paul's Boutique)
123
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Come!
124
00:22:44,648 --> 00:22:46,648
Where is the dwarf?
125
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:48,858
Motherfucker fell asleep!
126
00:26:07,901 --> 00:26:10,791
Listen here, boy...
Hear me well...
127
00:26:11,748 --> 00:26:14,808
This can go on like this!
Just can't!
128
00:26:16,334 --> 00:26:18,874
First month... no pay...
129
00:26:20,129 --> 00:26:23,129
Two months!
No pay!
130
00:26:24,136 --> 00:26:27,621
Three months!!!
You didn't pay me either!!
131
00:26:28,143 --> 00:26:31,458
Six months!! Ah...
You don't pay again!!
132
00:26:32,033 --> 00:26:35,838
Out!! Ah...
Get outta here!! Ah...
133
00:26:43,604 --> 00:26:46,604
Well... I'll have
to pack my shit.
134
00:27:07,439 --> 00:27:11,179
Soon I would have the same
destiny as Smokey.
135
00:27:11,309 --> 00:27:14,397
My savings were just
as small as I am.
136
00:27:14,447 --> 00:27:16,447
It was over long ago.
137
00:27:16,750 --> 00:27:19,629
And finding a job...
You know, right?
138
00:27:19,679 --> 00:27:22,379
What is left in the third world
139
00:27:22,526 --> 00:27:28,026
for a black illiterate dwarf
who can't talk and hates work?
140
00:27:42,944 --> 00:27:46,939
Little one, we must have
a serious conversation.
141
00:27:47,281 --> 00:27:50,366
or else, my hubby
is gonna get pissed off.
142
00:27:50,436 --> 00:27:52,436
Did you get some money?
143
00:27:54,285 --> 00:27:58,195
Well then... Let's see
what else you have here.
144
00:27:58,947 --> 00:28:02,993
After all, it's been 3 months
since your last payment.
145
00:28:03,043 --> 00:28:06,273
Let me see what you have
in this fridge.
146
00:28:07,781 --> 00:28:11,096
Oh no, mister dwarf!
You can't run away!
147
00:28:12,014 --> 00:28:14,014
Come here, come here.
148
00:28:16,124 --> 00:28:18,589
Let's see what you have here!
149
00:28:24,782 --> 00:28:29,797
So this it it, you little perv?
And you didn't want to show?
150
00:28:33,602 --> 00:28:37,271
Forget about the money,
I will talk to Manuel...
151
00:28:37,321 --> 00:28:42,821
Hear me? You perverted squid,
I mean, you naughty Crab...
152
00:31:13,809 --> 00:31:14,987
Oh, Amanda!
153
00:31:15,037 --> 00:31:17,502
Fuck me Jesus,
Manuel is here!
154
00:31:17,885 --> 00:31:21,968
Get your dicks and hide, or else
he will fuck us both!
155
00:31:22,018 --> 00:31:24,018
Amanda!
156
00:31:24,112 --> 00:31:26,662
Where the hell is
that woman...
157
00:31:27,409 --> 00:31:29,409
Amanda!
158
00:31:30,940 --> 00:31:32,940
I am here, Manuel...
159
00:31:33,029 --> 00:31:37,449
Fuck me Jesus, you better
be exactly where you say...
160
00:31:37,823 --> 00:31:42,498
Holy prick! I finally bought
the cockroach spray pump...
161
00:31:45,269 --> 00:31:49,774
I don't want them to eat Siri
before that boy pays me!
162
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,000
Great idea...
163
00:31:55,041 --> 00:31:57,044
I'm thinking of something...
164
00:31:57,594 --> 00:32:01,079
Are you sure cockroach
poison is harmless?
165
00:32:01,470 --> 00:32:03,470
I guess not...
166
00:32:03,892 --> 00:32:07,377
I don't know... The kid
is so damn weak...
167
00:32:07,994 --> 00:32:09,994
He's so wimpy...
168
00:32:24,208 --> 00:32:27,818
I'll take care of you
until you get better...
169
00:32:27,885 --> 00:32:31,285
Hmm, my little Siri
with a dozen dicks...
170
00:32:31,356 --> 00:32:33,356
The real problem is this
dummy's cough...
171
00:32:34,266 --> 00:32:37,595
Without a sound, how can I
understand how bad is...
172
00:32:37,645 --> 00:32:39,645
your lung infection?
173
00:32:46,433 --> 00:32:48,473
Ah, I see you are cured!
174
00:32:48,922 --> 00:32:53,852
Take a leak and brush your teeth,
then come have breakfast.
175
00:35:07,620 --> 00:35:12,465
Holy fucking shit! Hah...
You've hit your thumb real hard!
176
00:35:19,738 --> 00:35:21,738
(portuguese music)
177
00:35:24,593 --> 00:35:27,313
You must take care
of that thumb.
178
00:35:27,450 --> 00:35:32,210
I'v seen a lot of people lose
their feet because of that.
179
00:35:52,478 --> 00:35:56,898
Manuel, fry another steak.
The kid prefers them soft.
180
00:36:11,734 --> 00:36:13,734
Fuck me Jesus, shit...
181
00:36:15,278 --> 00:36:18,763
I should be frying
his balls, that's it...
182
00:37:31,658 --> 00:37:33,658
Sweet B'jezuz!!
183
00:37:38,988 --> 00:37:41,368
Shit! What the fuck is that!
184
00:38:04,661 --> 00:38:07,551
"Once again I had
to hit the road."
185
00:38:07,677 --> 00:38:12,437
One way or another, I was
guilty of the porkchop's death.
186
00:38:12,494 --> 00:38:14,789
"I was afraid of the cops."
187
00:38:14,841 --> 00:38:16,841
"I kinda liked mr. Manuel."
188
00:38:16,913 --> 00:38:18,913
He was nice to me.
189
00:38:18,970 --> 00:38:24,240
Poor thing. He died without ever
biting the pen behind his ear.
190
00:38:35,574 --> 00:38:36,965
Dad! Dad!
191
00:38:37,015 --> 00:38:41,190
There's a dwarf with a hard-on
at the bathroom you made!
192
00:38:41,313 --> 00:38:44,363
- WHAT!?
- Yeah, dad! Real hard!
193
00:39:17,807 --> 00:39:23,867
I chopped the m.f.'s dick off!!
Let's get the fuck outta here!!
194
00:39:57,204 --> 00:40:00,944
You son of a bitch!
I'm gonna rip your balls!
195
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:05,420
What the fuck are you thinking?
You fucking faggot...
196
00:40:05,532 --> 00:40:09,272
I don't grab no dick!
WTF, you motherfucker!?
197
00:40:09,599 --> 00:40:11,599
I'm fucking MACHO, you hear?
198
00:40:12,013 --> 00:40:13,040
Shiiittttt...
199
00:40:13,490 --> 00:40:15,490
Is the meanie gone?
200
00:40:19,291 --> 00:40:22,691
Oh, I am so nervous!
I want a popsicle...
201
00:40:23,398 --> 00:40:25,863
Aw, don't be so rude, biatch!
202
00:40:26,972 --> 00:40:28,972
Oh! Look!
A cockroach!
203
00:40:30,192 --> 00:40:33,252
Oh, wow!
What a naughty little dwarf!
204
00:40:33,358 --> 00:40:36,758
Come here, baby!
I'm gonna take you home!
205
00:40:58,967 --> 00:41:02,447
Hey, y'all. Check this out.
My new little friend.
206
00:41:02,497 --> 00:41:05,557
Solange, could you
get him some food?
207
00:41:06,207 --> 00:41:08,207
Dad! Dinner already?
208
00:41:18,528 --> 00:41:21,833
Come here.
Let's have some coffee.
209
00:43:52,658 --> 00:43:55,158
WANDERING
PORNO SHOP
210
00:44:04,025 --> 00:44:06,025
- Good evening...
- Hey!
211
00:44:06,931 --> 00:44:09,396
What are you selling, shorty?
212
00:44:11,052 --> 00:44:15,727
- Bianco, read it for me,
I can't see a thing from here.
213
00:44:15,791 --> 00:44:19,364
- "Wandering Porn Shop",
you illiterate redneck.
214
00:44:19,414 --> 00:44:22,304
And WTF is that?
Turn around, dude.
215
00:44:23,222 --> 00:44:25,327
And now, Bianco?
What does it say?
216
00:44:25,422 --> 00:44:28,462
I'd rather be a horse
than an ass like you...
217
00:44:28,542 --> 00:44:32,452
"Fine sexy articles, cheaper
than an ass hole!"
218
00:44:32,509 --> 00:44:36,334
Very nice, but the price
is a little too much!
219
00:44:36,408 --> 00:44:38,408
What now, Bianco?
220
00:44:38,555 --> 00:44:43,655
"For men, women, fags, dykes,
and all kinds of transgenders!"
221
00:44:43,712 --> 00:44:45,712
Shiiiaaattt...
222
00:44:45,852 --> 00:44:49,687
Well, me and Bianco here
could use some action...
223
00:44:49,792 --> 00:44:51,492
Maybe next time.
224
00:44:51,548 --> 00:44:53,588
Broke again, you sucker?
225
00:44:57,323 --> 00:44:59,323
See you later, shorty!
226
00:45:15,593 --> 00:45:18,653
What a lovely little fish
I just got!
227
00:45:19,020 --> 00:45:23,100
If it was a little whiter,
it could be a cod!
228
00:45:27,655 --> 00:45:30,120
SUCKY SUCKY
MASSAGES 'FOR MEN'
229
00:45:55,943 --> 00:45:58,578
Oh, no, mr. dwarf!
Stop wanking!
230
00:45:58,647 --> 00:46:03,407
Finish off your shower, and
wash your bunghole carefully.
231
00:46:14,835 --> 00:46:21,595
Folks, this is Siri. From now on,
he will be our bouncer.
232
00:46:23,170 --> 00:46:28,185
This is the Tangueira. A fine
girl, from the land of Gardel.
233
00:46:28,582 --> 00:46:30,672
I wish she could sing the Fado...
234
00:46:30,730 --> 00:46:33,365
�Hola! �Como te va, chiquitito?
235
00:46:33,431 --> 00:46:37,171
You already know Smokey.
He's still the same.
236
00:46:37,277 --> 00:46:38,777
Now he's our manager!
237
00:46:38,915 --> 00:46:40,955
Nice to see you again...
238
00:46:42,486 --> 00:46:47,076
Well, and that is Slurpy.
The name is self-explanatory.
239
00:46:47,168 --> 00:46:50,143
That is Mr. Ambrosio,
our associate.
240
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:52,789
He only takes care of the bar.
241
00:46:52,886 --> 00:46:55,436
But anyway he's our associate.
242
00:46:55,578 --> 00:46:57,788
Good morning!
Good evening!
243
00:46:57,903 --> 00:46:59,903
Good night!
244
00:47:00,048 --> 00:47:02,048
Yeah, I know you!
245
00:47:02,129 --> 00:47:04,679
I know you...
I remember you...
246
00:47:04,812 --> 00:47:08,127
Well, now that we all
know each other...
247
00:47:08,231 --> 00:47:12,396
let's celebrate with some
pusstrawberry ice cream!
248
00:47:17,545 --> 00:47:21,233
Howdy, par'ner! Is this the
home of Dr. Massage?
249
00:47:21,283 --> 00:47:23,283
No?
250
00:47:23,855 --> 00:47:28,850
Damn! My neck hurts real bad,
you gotta help me!
251
00:47:38,729 --> 00:47:40,729
- Howdy doody!
- Buenas!
252
00:47:40,785 --> 00:47:43,165
I'd like to see the masseur!
253
00:47:43,311 --> 00:47:45,311
Make your choice!
254
00:47:45,371 --> 00:47:48,176
- Choose what?
- One of the three!
255
00:47:50,497 --> 00:47:52,537
But are you all doctors?
256
00:47:52,615 --> 00:47:55,845
Better than that.
We are all masseuses.
257
00:47:55,929 --> 00:47:58,989
Then I want this doctor here!
258
00:48:00,086 --> 00:48:02,086
Come in!
259
00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:06,899
Take off your clothes.
Lay down here.
260
00:48:25,145 --> 00:48:28,375
Well! You didn't take
your clothes off?
261
00:48:28,457 --> 00:48:32,622
Do I really have to do it?
My pain is on the neck!
262
00:48:32,742 --> 00:48:37,672
Sure, darling. But take the time
to do a full body massage.
263
00:49:01,597 --> 00:49:03,892
Tell me, are you liking it?
264
00:49:04,011 --> 00:49:06,901
So far, so good...
So far, so good!
265
00:51:10,299 --> 00:51:13,189
Bye, honey! *kiss*
Come back often!
266
00:51:14,418 --> 00:51:18,158
Best damn massage
I ever had, mrs.! The best!
267
00:54:48,218 --> 00:54:50,218
(the boy... the boy...)
268
00:55:02,606 --> 00:55:04,606
"Spaceship"
Take one!
269
00:55:08,032 --> 00:55:12,367
And so there was this spaceship
from Uranus. It came to
270
00:55:12,417 --> 00:55:17,772
learn from me, "the chosen one",
everything about sex & fucking!
271
00:55:37,936 --> 00:55:42,441
The SFX dept. screwed up,
but now we're gonna make it.
272
00:55:52,366 --> 00:55:56,446
Fucked up once again.
But the problem was solved.
273
00:55:56,582 --> 00:56:00,067
Now the ship will land
one way or another!
274
00:56:14,100 --> 00:56:16,920
The ship is F.U.B.A.R.
Burned to ashes.
275
00:56:16,970 --> 00:56:18,991
You know how brazilian cinema is.
276
00:56:19,041 --> 00:56:23,286
If it's not shit, it fucks.
But if it's shit, it's fucked.
277
00:56:23,408 --> 00:56:27,083
But the producers figured it out.
And on the next day...
278
00:56:27,159 --> 00:56:30,729
the ship was talking to me,
telepathically!
279
00:56:30,879 --> 00:56:33,014
Absorbing information
about our world...
280
00:56:33,164 --> 00:56:38,137
Penis = Dick, Prick, Rod, Wang,
Cock, Schlong, Dong, Dork, etc.
281
00:56:39,087 --> 00:56:42,617
Masturbation...
Equals to... Wanking...
282
00:56:43,306 --> 00:56:45,306
What is "wanking"?
283
00:56:45,409 --> 00:56:48,214
Well, wanking...
I cannot explain!
284
00:56:48,710 --> 00:56:50,750
I will have to show you.
285
00:57:36,657 --> 00:57:42,522
Relax, it's just some mosquitoes...
This spray will get rid of them...
286
00:57:42,592 --> 00:57:46,757
What? No, we're not doing
any product placement...
287
00:57:46,813 --> 00:57:49,703
This isn't a
Rede Globo soap opera.
288
00:57:49,831 --> 00:57:51,831
OK, I'll scratch you.
289
00:57:52,666 --> 00:57:55,641
Alright, I'll scratch
the cabin now.
290
00:57:55,701 --> 00:57:57,701
Is this the place?
291
00:57:57,819 --> 00:58:00,029
The itch is getting worse?
292
00:58:00,166 --> 00:58:02,631
Be cool.
I'll keep scratching.
293
00:58:27,540 --> 00:58:29,540
Get off, spear chucker!
294
00:58:29,634 --> 00:58:33,119
I'm pretty sure
I know you from somewhere!
295
00:58:33,214 --> 00:58:35,214
I got my eye on you!
296
00:58:37,033 --> 00:58:39,033
Let's go...
297
00:58:39,116 --> 00:58:43,709
Hey, Amanda! This girl just arrive
from the country side.
298
00:58:43,759 --> 00:58:46,054
She will work here with us.
299
00:58:53,627 --> 00:58:55,627
Smokey!
300
00:58:59,737 --> 00:59:01,237
Yes, my liege?
301
00:59:01,350 --> 00:59:07,045
- Get the girl a room and fix her,
get her ready for work. - OK!
302
00:59:21,145 --> 00:59:24,120
Now you will have a
hands-on lesson.
303
00:59:24,229 --> 00:59:25,854
What do you want?
304
00:59:25,933 --> 00:59:28,893
Didn't Amanda tell me to
fix you ready for work?
305
00:59:29,043 --> 00:59:31,043
Well. Here I am.
306
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:36,840
This is a "blow job".
A "rusty trombone".
307
01:00:03,084 --> 01:00:08,184
Very good. Keep it up, you're
doing well for the first class.
308
01:00:47,511 --> 01:00:53,091
This? Well... This is "eating pussy".
It's a "muff dive".
309
01:01:56,983 --> 01:02:01,148
Now this is an "analingus".
A.k.a. "tossed salad".
310
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:41,837
This is "fucking"! "Screwing"!
"Banging"! "Humping"! "Boning"!
311
01:02:41,887 --> 01:02:46,902
No, it isn't all at the same time.
They are all synonymical.
312
01:02:47,468 --> 01:02:50,888
I know it's complicated.
That's why I prefer wanking!
313
01:02:50,955 --> 01:02:52,955
It is more hygienic!
314
01:04:23,652 --> 01:04:25,652
Holy fucking shit!
315
01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:32,700
Shorty, you didn't grow either
to the top or to the bottom...
316
01:04:32,841 --> 01:04:36,326
But to the front...
you grew way too long!
317
01:04:40,233 --> 01:04:42,613
What the fuck is that shit!?
318
01:04:45,942 --> 01:04:47,942
Well, that's my story.
319
01:04:48,069 --> 01:04:53,254
The ship learnt everything about
sex, and went back to Uranus.
320
01:04:53,342 --> 01:04:57,847
In retribution, they gave me
100,000 L of space sperm.
321
01:04:58,833 --> 01:05:01,893
which I sell in these
little bottles.
322
01:05:02,354 --> 01:05:06,873
I sell them (in dollars) to people
who suffer from sexual problems.
323
01:05:06,923 --> 01:05:09,898
It is the best aphrodisiac
there is!
324
01:05:10,006 --> 01:05:12,566
With this, even corpses
can have sex!
325
01:05:12,685 --> 01:05:17,870
And me, I have always been broke.
But now I'm doing real good!
326
01:07:53,272 --> 01:07:56,417
Ahh! Great gang bang!
Great gang bang!
327
01:07:57,557 --> 01:08:00,617
I wanna get into this
gang bang too!!
328
01:08:00,736 --> 01:08:02,861
I wanna get in, yeahhh...
329
01:08:03,396 --> 01:08:06,456
Yeahh!! Check it out!!
I'm going in!!
330
01:08:06,593 --> 01:08:08,593
I some of that shit!!
331
01:08:43,958 --> 01:08:47,718
I'm going to a gang bang!
Get out of my way! Here I come!
332
01:08:47,813 --> 01:08:51,318
Yo! Give me some space!
Give me a slot, I want a hole!
333
01:08:51,449 --> 01:08:53,449
Go fuck yourselves! Fuckers!
334
01:08:53,587 --> 01:08:57,242
I wanna get inside the gang bang!
Shit! WTF?
335
01:09:49,634 --> 01:09:55,499
Oh! I forgot something. Do you see
all those plants around the toilet?
336
01:09:55,578 --> 01:09:59,913
It's because I only shit
when I'm behind the bushes.
337
01:10:04,401 --> 01:10:09,206
THE END
(subtitles by: Danelectro)
25784
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