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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000
Corrected and resynced by Szvengar
2
00:02:15,848 --> 00:02:19,243
Fuck Wolverine.
3
00:02:19,287 --> 00:02:21,985
First, he rides my coattails
with the R rating.
4
00:02:22,029 --> 00:02:26,424
Then the hairy motherfucker
ups the ante by dying.
5
00:02:26,468 --> 00:02:28,644
What a dick.
6
00:02:28,687 --> 00:02:30,907
Well, guess what, Wolvie?
7
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:33,779
I'm dying in this one, too.
8
00:02:36,521 --> 00:02:38,915
To understand
why I took a cat-nap
9
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,048
on 1,200 gallons
of high-test fuel...
10
00:02:41,091 --> 00:02:42,440
I need to take you back
11
00:02:42,484 --> 00:02:44,921
to the dewy slopes
of six weeks ago.
12
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,314
I'd gone international,
13
00:02:46,357 --> 00:02:48,272
taking out mass murderers,
gangsters,
14
00:02:48,316 --> 00:02:50,013
unspeakable monsters.
15
00:02:50,057 --> 00:02:53,016
People nobody would touch.
Except me.
16
00:02:53,060 --> 00:02:55,018
I'm gonna touch them all over.
17
00:02:58,674 --> 00:03:00,589
Hey, it's Gail calling.
18
00:03:00,632 --> 00:03:01,764
Love the shiny suit.
19
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,548
Really brings out
20
00:03:03,592 --> 00:03:05,672
the sex trafficker in your eyes.
21
00:03:06,725 --> 00:03:10,816
I don't
speak Cantonese, Mister...
22
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:12,993
Well, I'm not even gonna
attempt that.
23
00:03:13,036 --> 00:03:15,517
But I did take 8th grade Spanish, so...
24
00:03:17,867 --> 00:03:20,696
Which literally translates to...
25
00:03:20,739 --> 00:03:23,786
I don't bargain, pumpkin fucker.
26
00:03:33,535 --> 00:03:36,277
Oh. Oh, this isn't Gilbert's.
27
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:37,582
I am so sorry.
28
00:03:37,626 --> 00:03:39,306
I thought this was
an anal-bleaching party.
29
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:03,695
Don't worry.
You're not going to die.
30
00:04:03,739 --> 00:04:05,828
Although these will kill you.
31
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:07,090
Hit it, Dolly.
32
00:04:27,371 --> 00:04:28,764
I'm merely
a vessel for the Lord.
33
00:04:40,036 --> 00:04:42,604
Taking the hands out
of the guns of the criminals!
34
00:04:50,133 --> 00:04:52,657
Whoo! Do not go in there!
35
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,449
Let's see
Captain America do that.
36
00:05:10,414 --> 00:05:11,937
Too exotic?
37
00:06:34,106 --> 00:06:37,066
Oh, God! Oh, God,
time out! Time out!
38
00:06:37,109 --> 00:06:40,635
Cut. I've got bad guy blood,
right in my open eye.
39
00:06:40,678 --> 00:06:42,680
Oh, that's so gross.
40
00:06:43,812 --> 00:06:45,988
Fuck.
41
00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:47,922
Looks like you left
a little landing strip there.
42
00:06:47,946 --> 00:06:48,991
I like it.
43
00:06:54,126 --> 00:06:55,737
Oh, man!
44
00:07:00,089 --> 00:07:02,047
My world tour brought me home
45
00:07:02,091 --> 00:07:04,528
to this guy, Sergei Valishnikov.
46
00:07:04,572 --> 00:07:06,095
But we'll get to him
in a moment.
47
00:07:06,138 --> 00:07:07,575
'Cause I know
what you're thinking.
48
00:07:07,618 --> 00:07:10,360
"I'm so glad
I left the kiddos at home."
49
00:07:10,404 --> 00:07:12,101
But that's where you'd be wrong.
50
00:07:12,144 --> 00:07:14,886
That babysitter of yours
is high as fuck right now...
51
00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:19,239
and, believe it or not,
Deadpool 2 is a family film.
52
00:07:19,282 --> 00:07:21,066
True story.
53
00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:24,287
And every good family film
starts with a vicious murder.
54
00:07:24,331 --> 00:07:27,421
Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.
55
00:07:27,464 --> 00:07:30,772
Holy shit pickles!
That guy's on fire.
56
00:07:30,815 --> 00:07:33,731
That's not CGI, folks.
He's actually on fire.
57
00:07:33,775 --> 00:07:37,169
Yeah. You know I get paid
to take out bad guys, right?
58
00:07:37,213 --> 00:07:38,432
But this guy?
59
00:07:38,475 --> 00:07:40,434
He was one of the worst of 'em.
60
00:07:43,132 --> 00:07:44,655
Hurry up and open
this fucking door,
61
00:07:44,699 --> 00:07:45,979
and let's kill
this motherfucker!
62
00:07:52,924 --> 00:07:54,970
Ugh. So gross.
63
00:07:55,013 --> 00:07:57,842
A panic room? Really?
64
00:07:57,886 --> 00:08:00,105
Can you come out?
65
00:08:00,149 --> 00:08:03,239
I really have to go.
It's my anniversary.
66
00:08:09,158 --> 00:08:10,570
Over and over,
I hear people say,
67
00:08:10,594 --> 00:08:12,161
"I just don't have
enough confidence."
68
00:08:12,204 --> 00:08:14,294
Listen, confidence is not
something you have.
69
00:08:14,337 --> 00:08:15,773
It's something you create.
70
00:08:15,817 --> 00:08:17,732
And you can create it
at any moment in time.
71
00:08:17,775 --> 00:08:19,473
A sense of confidence is nothing
72
00:08:19,516 --> 00:08:21,257
but a sense of power
within yourself...
73
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,843
a sense of certainty that
you can pull something off.
74
00:08:22,867 --> 00:08:24,956
Start the fucking car!
75
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,131
Dopinder!
76
00:08:26,175 --> 00:08:27,698
Start the fucking car!
77
00:08:32,399 --> 00:08:34,879
Shoot that motherfucker!
Shoot him!
78
00:08:34,923 --> 00:08:36,446
Whoo! Oh, I shit my pants.
79
00:08:36,490 --> 00:08:38,883
Actually, that may have been me.
80
00:08:38,927 --> 00:08:40,189
Oh, mission accomplished?
81
00:08:40,232 --> 00:08:42,365
Oh, in a George W. Sort of way.
82
00:08:42,409 --> 00:08:44,106
Fucker can't stay
in a panic room forever.
83
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,605
Oh, you're living
the dreams, DP.
84
00:08:45,629 --> 00:08:47,805
It has been
quite the run, Dopinder,
85
00:08:47,849 --> 00:08:49,154
and who'da thought?
86
00:08:49,198 --> 00:08:51,635
Now I'm talked about
in the same sentence as Jesus.
87
00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:53,550
Passion of the Christ, then me.
88
00:08:53,594 --> 00:08:54,856
At least domestically.
89
00:08:54,899 --> 00:08:56,118
We beat them overseas,
90
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:58,163
where there's no such thing
as religion.
91
00:08:58,207 --> 00:09:00,383
I do want to live
the dreams, Pool Boy.
92
00:09:00,427 --> 00:09:02,820
Taxiing is not as sexy
as it looks.
93
00:09:02,864 --> 00:09:04,648
I want to fill my... Pockets?
94
00:09:04,692 --> 00:09:07,912
What's your poison?
A little, uh, cokey cokey?
95
00:09:07,956 --> 00:09:09,305
Can't maintain an erection
96
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,891
without buying shoes online?
97
00:09:10,915 --> 00:09:12,874
I've never experienced
that last one.
98
00:09:12,917 --> 00:09:14,310
Talk to me, Goose.
99
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:17,052
I was going to say "soul".
I want to fill my soul.
100
00:09:17,095 --> 00:09:20,185
I want to belong to something,
like you, Pool, sir.
101
00:09:20,229 --> 00:09:22,187
Dopinder... Hmm?
102
00:09:22,231 --> 00:09:24,059
You never cease to surprise me.
103
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:28,193
You know, the depth of
your heart is extraordinary.
104
00:09:28,237 --> 00:09:29,891
We all need
a sense of belonging.
105
00:09:29,934 --> 00:09:31,719
We all need
a genuine sense of home.
106
00:09:31,762 --> 00:09:32,894
A place in this world.
107
00:09:32,937 --> 00:09:34,297
I want to become
a contract killer.
108
00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:36,158
I'm sorry. What did you say?
109
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:38,160
Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu
110
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,529
and threatened him
with great violence?
111
00:09:39,553 --> 00:09:41,163
You kind of killed him.
112
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,793
And then remember the movie
Interview with the Vampire?
113
00:09:42,817 --> 00:09:43,992
Don't want to.
114
00:09:44,035 --> 00:09:45,123
When Tom Cruise fed
115
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,995
10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood
116
00:09:47,038 --> 00:09:48,257
for the first time...
117
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,694
and she looked up at his smooth,
118
00:09:50,738 --> 00:09:52,957
handsome face and said...
119
00:09:53,741 --> 00:09:55,525
"I want some more."
120
00:09:55,569 --> 00:09:59,224
Oh, Pool, picture me,
a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.
121
00:10:00,269 --> 00:10:02,967
I'll never not picture that.
122
00:10:03,011 --> 00:10:04,795
But I can't wait
to never speak of this,
123
00:10:04,839 --> 00:10:06,884
as soon as possible.
124
00:10:06,928 --> 00:10:09,409
We're here.
125
00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:18,200
Dopinder, it's me again.
126
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,941
Look, a saner man
might discourage you
127
00:10:19,984 --> 00:10:21,856
from joining
the deadly merc business...
128
00:10:21,899 --> 00:10:23,379
what, with your concave chest
129
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,076
and your paper towel tube arms.
130
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,817
But you're an eagle...
131
00:10:26,861 --> 00:10:28,863
and goddamn it,
an eagle's gotta soar.
132
00:10:28,906 --> 00:10:30,299
You gotta grab those dreams,
133
00:10:30,342 --> 00:10:31,953
grab those dreams
by the dick tip...
134
00:10:31,996 --> 00:10:33,520
and make it rain!
135
00:10:33,563 --> 00:10:35,478
I don't know what that means.
136
00:10:35,522 --> 00:10:37,480
Me neither.
137
00:10:38,089 --> 00:10:39,569
I'm gonna see you...
138
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:42,224
at the office.
139
00:10:42,790 --> 00:10:43,921
In the sky.
140
00:10:43,965 --> 00:10:45,096
You're my Tom Cruise!
141
00:10:45,140 --> 00:10:46,750
And you're my Kristen Dunst!
142
00:10:46,794 --> 00:10:48,273
Kristen? Kirsten?
143
00:10:53,322 --> 00:10:54,932
Sorry I'm late.
144
00:10:54,976 --> 00:10:56,543
There was a bunch of
145
00:10:56,586 --> 00:10:58,675
handicapable children
stuck in a tree...
146
00:10:58,719 --> 00:11:00,242
and I had to, uh... Uh-uh.
147
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:03,027
You're right.
I was fighting a caped badass.
148
00:11:03,071 --> 00:11:05,421
But then we discovered
his mom is named Martha, too.
149
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,771
- No.
- You got me.
150
00:11:07,815 --> 00:11:09,599
I was rounding up
all the gluten in the world
151
00:11:09,643 --> 00:11:10,861
and launching it into space...
152
00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:13,037
where it can't not
hurt us ever again.
153
00:11:13,081 --> 00:11:14,256
Try again.
154
00:11:14,822 --> 00:11:16,388
Diarrhea?
155
00:11:16,432 --> 00:11:18,192
We can't be sure
until I get this suit off...
156
00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:21,089
but, uh, all signs point to yes.
157
00:11:23,004 --> 00:11:24,005
Traffic?
158
00:11:24,614 --> 00:11:25,659
Hmm?
159
00:11:26,877 --> 00:11:28,531
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
160
00:11:28,575 --> 00:11:29,575
Well, come here.
161
00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:43,720
I'm gonna shower
and get out of this suit.
162
00:11:43,764 --> 00:11:44,939
Don't you want your surprise?
163
00:11:44,982 --> 00:11:46,810
Do I look like
a patient burn victim?
164
00:11:47,594 --> 00:11:48,856
I got one for you, too.
165
00:11:49,987 --> 00:11:51,511
Happy anniversary, baby.
166
00:11:51,554 --> 00:11:53,121
Open, open, open.
167
00:11:55,123 --> 00:11:56,864
Skee-Ball token.
168
00:11:56,907 --> 00:11:58,300
Our first date.
169
00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,910
Yup.
170
00:11:59,954 --> 00:12:02,609
That's genuine, high-grade lead.
171
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,831
I'll keep it forever.
172
00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:09,311
Thank you, baby.
173
00:12:10,921 --> 00:12:12,619
- Open yours.
- All right, all right.
174
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,538
Oh... Well that's...
175
00:12:16,231 --> 00:12:18,122
That's just the most
beautiful thing that I've...
176
00:12:18,146 --> 00:12:19,539
I don't know what this is.
177
00:12:19,582 --> 00:12:21,410
My IUD.
178
00:12:21,453 --> 00:12:22,629
A bomb?
179
00:12:22,672 --> 00:12:25,762
No, dick for brains.
My birth control device.
180
00:12:25,806 --> 00:12:26,894
What, you mean that your...
181
00:12:26,937 --> 00:12:28,678
Baby factory's open
for business.
182
00:12:28,722 --> 00:12:30,027
Oh, my God!
183
00:12:30,071 --> 00:12:33,335
Oh, my God! I want a boy!
184
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:36,468
Or a little girl!
Definitely one or the other!
185
00:12:36,512 --> 00:12:39,297
Oh! And I want our kid
to have only one name.
186
00:12:39,863 --> 00:12:43,127
Like Cher or Todd.
187
00:12:43,171 --> 00:12:44,955
You gotta pump a baby
in me first, cowboy.
188
00:12:44,999 --> 00:12:46,348
Yes, I do.
189
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:47,891
Let's watch some porn
and show that bed who's boss.
190
00:12:47,915 --> 00:12:48,916
Let's do that.
191
00:12:50,134 --> 00:12:52,267
♪ Papa... ♪
192
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,486
♪ Can you hear me? ♪
193
00:12:55,923 --> 00:12:58,578
♪ Papa, can you see me? ♪
194
00:12:58,621 --> 00:13:00,841
Does this song
sound familiar to you?
195
00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:05,323
May.
196
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:09,066
Connor, if it's a boy.
May, if it's a girl.
197
00:13:11,721 --> 00:13:14,158
So weird.
198
00:13:14,202 --> 00:13:16,596
Family was always
an F-word to me.
199
00:13:18,119 --> 00:13:22,471
My pile of shit father
took off and bailed.
200
00:13:22,514 --> 00:13:24,734
I mean, it's not like I have
a lot of strong role models
201
00:13:24,778 --> 00:13:26,518
to draw off of for Todd.
202
00:13:27,694 --> 00:13:30,305
Hey. Look at me.
203
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,613
You are not your father.
204
00:13:35,353 --> 00:13:36,790
Besides...
205
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:41,577
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.
206
00:13:42,578 --> 00:13:43,623
But here's the thing,
207
00:13:43,666 --> 00:13:45,494
isn't that how it always works?
208
00:13:45,537 --> 00:13:47,061
Like in Star Wars,
209
00:13:47,104 --> 00:13:49,803
men are destined
to become their father...
210
00:13:49,846 --> 00:13:52,936
and then have consensual sex
with their sister?
211
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:56,287
I think you missed
big, big chunks of that movie.
212
00:13:56,331 --> 00:13:58,594
No, I'm pretty sure
Luke nailed her.
213
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,683
Baby, that's Empire.
214
00:14:00,727 --> 00:14:03,338
The point is, kids...
215
00:14:04,818 --> 00:14:07,472
they give us a chance
to be better than we are.
216
00:14:08,299 --> 00:14:10,954
Better than we used to be.
217
00:14:10,998 --> 00:14:13,522
You're a lot smarter
than I look.
218
00:14:14,566 --> 00:14:16,220
I'm gonna go make dessert.
219
00:14:16,264 --> 00:14:20,703
You get the strap-on.
Let's make a super baby.
220
00:14:20,747 --> 00:14:24,141
Pretty sure it doesn't work
that way, but we can try.
221
00:14:24,185 --> 00:14:27,710
What about Krystal?
But with a "K"?
222
00:14:27,754 --> 00:14:29,712
It's too stripper-y.
223
00:14:29,756 --> 00:14:31,279
Kevin with a "K"!
224
00:14:31,322 --> 00:14:33,411
No, too stripper-y, too.
225
00:14:33,977 --> 00:14:35,892
Uh, Earl!
226
00:14:35,936 --> 00:14:38,286
He's gonna go straight to jail
227
00:14:38,329 --> 00:14:40,549
if we name him Earl.
228
00:14:40,592 --> 00:14:42,464
What about Bruce?
229
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:44,901
No.
230
00:14:44,945 --> 00:14:45,989
Get down.
231
00:14:46,033 --> 00:14:47,425
What?
232
00:15:16,324 --> 00:15:18,413
Baby? Baby?
233
00:15:21,677 --> 00:15:23,374
I'm okay.
234
00:15:23,418 --> 00:15:26,073
Thank God I didn't have to use
the cream cheese spreader.
235
00:16:00,672 --> 00:16:01,935
Please.
236
00:16:07,027 --> 00:16:08,855
Please. Please.
237
00:16:08,898 --> 00:16:12,075
Baby, I'm so sorry.
238
00:16:12,119 --> 00:16:15,905
No!
239
00:19:20,437 --> 00:19:23,136
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
240
00:19:24,093 --> 00:19:25,877
Is it just me, or does
241
00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:27,507
Do You Want to Build
a Snowman? from Frozen...
242
00:19:27,531 --> 00:19:28,837
sound suspiciously like
243
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,839
Papa, Can You Hear Me?
From Yentl?
244
00:19:32,188 --> 00:19:34,321
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
245
00:19:36,105 --> 00:19:38,716
And nobody fucking realizes it.
246
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,327
Wade, you gotta go home.
247
00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:43,112
You've been sitting here
for three days, okay?
248
00:19:43,156 --> 00:19:46,855
You smell like sauerkraut
left in the warm rain.
249
00:19:46,898 --> 00:19:49,205
Like wet garbage in hot urine.
250
00:19:49,249 --> 00:19:51,425
You smell like
a dog ate kitty litter...
251
00:19:51,468 --> 00:19:53,514
and then farted his way
out of the living room.
252
00:19:53,557 --> 00:19:55,385
I mean, like Rush Limbaugh's
253
00:19:55,429 --> 00:19:57,257
couch cushions after Shark Week.
254
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:59,041
I love Frozen.
255
00:19:59,085 --> 00:20:02,653
I loved her. I loved her
like an ocean loves water.
256
00:20:02,697 --> 00:20:04,220
An ocean is water.
257
00:20:04,264 --> 00:20:09,008
More importantly, I liked her.
I really liked her, you know?
258
00:20:09,051 --> 00:20:10,183
George Michael was right.
259
00:20:10,226 --> 00:20:12,054
I'm never gonna
dance again. Fuck!
260
00:20:12,663 --> 00:20:13,664
He's dead, too.
261
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,189
At least we still have Bowie.
262
00:20:16,232 --> 00:20:17,973
Oh, Mr. Pool. David Bowie is...
263
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,279
Uh, uh, uh...
264
00:20:19,322 --> 00:20:20,497
still with us.
265
00:20:20,541 --> 00:20:23,413
We do. We'll always have Bowie.
266
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,067
I'm sorry.
267
00:20:25,111 --> 00:20:26,547
Shot after shot,
268
00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:28,438
it's not gonna change the fact
that I think you're...
269
00:20:28,462 --> 00:20:30,092
Are you pissing?
Are you urinating right now?
270
00:20:30,116 --> 00:20:33,032
You're making the face that
you make when you urinate.
271
00:20:33,075 --> 00:20:34,642
Is he pissing? I'm on it!
272
00:20:34,685 --> 00:20:36,165
There you go, Dopinder.
273
00:20:36,209 --> 00:20:38,254
If you want to be
a contract killer...
274
00:20:38,298 --> 00:20:40,865
you gotta handle a mop
before you handle a gun.
275
00:20:40,909 --> 00:20:41,973
Although I don't
quite understand
276
00:20:41,997 --> 00:20:43,564
how they are at all similar.
277
00:20:43,607 --> 00:20:45,716
'Cause I could shove either
one up your ass and kill you.
278
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:46,871
Now, leave me.
279
00:20:46,915 --> 00:20:47,916
I get it.
280
00:20:48,438 --> 00:20:50,049
Go home, Wade.
281
00:20:50,092 --> 00:20:52,442
I don't have a home,
Weas, you know. I got a...
282
00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:55,271
Okay, I'm fine.
283
00:20:55,315 --> 00:20:56,446
I'm fine.
284
00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:58,318
You know what "fine"
stands for, Wade?
285
00:20:58,361 --> 00:21:02,104
Fucked up, insecure,
needy, and emotional.
286
00:21:02,148 --> 00:21:03,366
According to the...
287
00:21:04,715 --> 00:21:06,152
Kubler-Ross. Yeah.
288
00:21:06,195 --> 00:21:08,067
According to
the Kubler-Ross model...
289
00:21:08,110 --> 00:21:10,895
denial is just one of
the five stages of grief.
290
00:21:10,939 --> 00:21:13,289
Jesus Christ, Buck!
291
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:15,248
No more speaking lines for you.
292
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:26,259
Hey, bud. Bud.
293
00:21:26,302 --> 00:21:28,391
- Huh?
- Got a match?
294
00:21:28,435 --> 00:21:29,958
Match?
295
00:21:30,001 --> 00:21:31,481
Yes, I have one right here.
296
00:21:31,525 --> 00:21:32,893
Don't make a move.
This is a stick-up.
297
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:34,658
- What?
- You heard me.
298
00:21:34,702 --> 00:21:36,747
Mister, Mister,
put down that gun.
299
00:21:36,791 --> 00:21:39,402
Shut up. Now, come on.
Your money or your life?
300
00:21:47,584 --> 00:21:51,327
Look, bud. I said,
"Your money or your life."
301
00:21:51,371 --> 00:21:52,676
"I'm thinking it over!"
302
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,113
Motherfuck!
303
00:21:54,156 --> 00:21:55,201
Fuck!
304
00:21:58,204 --> 00:21:59,683
The hell you doin' here?
305
00:21:59,727 --> 00:22:01,816
Don't you know how to knock?
306
00:22:01,859 --> 00:22:03,774
I thought you saw me...
307
00:22:03,818 --> 00:22:05,341
with your ears.
308
00:22:05,385 --> 00:22:06,449
You're lucky I didn't
shoot you in the...
309
00:22:06,473 --> 00:22:07,517
The wall?
310
00:22:07,561 --> 00:22:10,955
The refrigerator?
I'm in so much pain.
311
00:22:13,741 --> 00:22:15,351
I heard the news, sweetie.
312
00:22:15,395 --> 00:22:17,484
I'm very sorry. I am.
313
00:22:17,527 --> 00:22:19,442
What am I gonna do, Al?
314
00:22:19,486 --> 00:22:21,183
Probably something terrible.
315
00:22:22,358 --> 00:22:23,751
Knowing you.
316
00:22:23,794 --> 00:22:25,318
It was my fault.
317
00:22:26,536 --> 00:22:29,235
I fucking did this.
318
00:22:29,278 --> 00:22:31,150
And all I wanna do
is grab her and see her
319
00:22:31,193 --> 00:22:33,152
and tell her that I'm sorry,
and I can't.
320
00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:36,807
She's gone.
321
00:22:36,851 --> 00:22:40,637
Sweetheart, can you speak up?
322
00:22:40,681 --> 00:22:41,943
It's a little hard to hear you
323
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:43,684
with that pity dick
in your mouth.
324
00:22:43,727 --> 00:22:46,774
Now, look, sugar.
You need to just keep living.
325
00:22:46,817 --> 00:22:48,123
Thank you...
326
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:51,170
Matthew McConaughey,
your words are a treasure.
327
00:22:51,213 --> 00:22:53,259
Listen to the pain.
328
00:22:53,302 --> 00:22:56,087
It's both history teacher
and fortune teller.
329
00:22:56,131 --> 00:22:59,743
Pain teaches us
who we are, Wade.
330
00:22:59,787 --> 00:23:03,660
Sometimes, it's so bad,
we feel like we're dying.
331
00:23:03,704 --> 00:23:06,402
But we can't really live till
we've died a little, can we?
332
00:23:08,926 --> 00:23:10,145
Wade?
333
00:23:12,582 --> 00:23:14,758
Wade? I'm right here, Althea.
334
00:23:14,802 --> 00:23:17,413
And that is
the most beautiful thing
335
00:23:17,457 --> 00:23:18,675
I've ever heard.
336
00:23:19,415 --> 00:23:20,982
And you're absolutely right.
337
00:23:24,855 --> 00:23:27,206
I'm about to do
something terrible.
338
00:23:33,255 --> 00:23:34,517
Precious, aren't they?
339
00:23:35,344 --> 00:23:36,780
Whoa!
340
00:23:36,824 --> 00:23:38,260
Are you a superhero?
341
00:23:38,304 --> 00:23:40,001
Fucking A, sweetie.
342
00:23:40,044 --> 00:23:41,611
What's your name?
343
00:23:41,655 --> 00:23:43,439
Captain Delicious Pants.
344
00:23:43,483 --> 00:23:45,659
Who's Captain Delicious Pants?
345
00:24:11,032 --> 00:24:13,034
I can't believe
he's still alive.
346
00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:15,558
I can't believe you left
the house in that shirt.
347
00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:18,996
There's gotta be
some way to die.
348
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,085
I just need to die harder.
349
00:24:21,129 --> 00:24:22,348
Trademark Fox.
350
00:24:22,391 --> 00:24:23,392
Y'all caught up now?
351
00:24:36,666 --> 00:24:38,320
Open for business.
352
00:24:42,193 --> 00:24:44,326
Your crazy matches my crazy.
353
00:24:44,370 --> 00:24:46,522
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.
354
00:24:46,546 --> 00:24:47,808
Skee-Ball token.
355
00:24:47,851 --> 00:24:49,131
You're a lot smarter
than I look.
356
00:24:55,032 --> 00:24:56,314
About why
we're so good together.
357
00:24:56,338 --> 00:24:57,533
I love you, Wade Wilson.
358
00:25:00,168 --> 00:25:01,561
Ness?
359
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,172
Ness?
360
00:25:04,999 --> 00:25:06,566
Ness.
361
00:25:06,609 --> 00:25:09,308
Ness, there's something here.
I can't get to you.
362
00:25:11,005 --> 00:25:13,529
Your heart's not
in the right place.
363
00:25:13,573 --> 00:25:16,227
Wait, hold on. What?
364
00:25:16,271 --> 00:25:18,360
Your heart's not
in the right place.
365
00:25:18,404 --> 00:25:19,796
Wait. What do you mean
366
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,800
my heart's not in the right
place? What does it...
367
00:25:41,035 --> 00:25:43,559
I'm terribly sorry
for your loss, Wade.
368
00:25:44,038 --> 00:25:45,169
You're broken.
369
00:25:45,213 --> 00:25:48,172
Oh, God. I know that voice.
370
00:26:09,237 --> 00:26:10,673
Well, Russell.
371
00:26:10,717 --> 00:26:13,372
I hear you're handy
at picking locks.
372
00:26:14,764 --> 00:26:16,984
There will be no need
for that here.
373
00:26:17,027 --> 00:26:20,335
There's no locks on our doors,
no bars on our windows.
374
00:26:21,684 --> 00:26:23,730
I know what you're thinking.
375
00:26:23,773 --> 00:26:26,428
Why don't the kids just run?
376
00:26:26,472 --> 00:26:29,431
Who would choose to stay
in such a place?
377
00:26:29,475 --> 00:26:31,955
You stay because...
378
00:26:31,999 --> 00:26:36,743
deep down inside, you know
you're unfit to leave.
379
00:26:40,529 --> 00:26:42,139
But don't worry.
380
00:26:43,314 --> 00:26:44,968
We can fix that.
381
00:26:49,799 --> 00:26:53,542
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand.
382
00:27:15,521 --> 00:27:17,218
"Heart's in the right place."
383
00:27:17,261 --> 00:27:18,717
"Heart's in the right..."
What does that mean?
384
00:27:18,741 --> 00:27:20,656
Take your mask off, Wade.
385
00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:22,397
I wish you'd said "pants".
386
00:27:22,441 --> 00:27:23,659
Let's play a game.
387
00:27:23,703 --> 00:27:26,227
It's called
"Adrien Brody or Adam Brody?".
388
00:27:26,270 --> 00:27:28,621
Now, close your eyes
and open your mouth.
389
00:27:28,664 --> 00:27:30,492
You don't need to be funny here.
390
00:27:31,101 --> 00:27:32,363
We must talk.
391
00:27:32,407 --> 00:27:34,888
You need fresh start.
392
00:27:34,931 --> 00:27:36,498
Such a glare.
393
00:27:36,542 --> 00:27:38,805
It's like I'm on stage
at the Gaiety.
394
00:27:38,848 --> 00:27:41,460
With training, you can be X-Man.
395
00:27:41,503 --> 00:27:43,592
You're wasting your time,
Shiny Jesus.
396
00:27:43,636 --> 00:27:44,941
I'm not X-Man material.
397
00:27:44,985 --> 00:27:46,552
Understatement of the year.
398
00:27:47,030 --> 00:27:48,031
Wade, Yukio.
399
00:27:48,510 --> 00:27:50,425
Yukio, Wade.
400
00:27:50,469 --> 00:27:52,558
What in the fuck knuckles
is this?
401
00:27:52,601 --> 00:27:55,256
She's my girlfriend,
you intolerant shit.
402
00:27:55,299 --> 00:27:57,127
Whoa! Pump the hate brakes,
Fox & Friends.
403
00:27:57,171 --> 00:27:59,042
I'm just surprised
anyone would date you.
404
00:27:59,086 --> 00:28:01,697
Especially Pinkie Pie
from My Little Pony.
405
00:28:01,741 --> 00:28:03,569
I like this guy.
406
00:28:03,612 --> 00:28:05,701
Give him a chance.
407
00:28:05,745 --> 00:28:06,852
It's great seeing you like this.
408
00:28:06,876 --> 00:28:09,052
Yeah.
409
00:28:09,531 --> 00:28:10,837
Bye, Wade!
410
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,361
Now, some ground rules
while under our roof.
411
00:28:13,404 --> 00:28:16,190
"Rule number one. No killing...
412
00:28:16,233 --> 00:28:19,672
"anyone ever, no matter how bad.
413
00:28:19,715 --> 00:28:22,370
"Rule two. Label everything
in refrigerator."
414
00:28:22,413 --> 00:28:23,414
Wade?
415
00:28:24,285 --> 00:28:25,547
Wade?
416
00:28:25,591 --> 00:28:27,418
- Don't try to chase me.
- Wade!
417
00:28:27,462 --> 00:28:29,551
I'm not ready
to be touched again.
418
00:28:29,595 --> 00:28:31,814
All these old guys on the wall.
419
00:28:31,858 --> 00:28:33,947
Who lives here,
Calista Flockhart?
420
00:28:36,253 --> 00:28:39,169
Those were already damaged
after they fell there!
421
00:28:39,213 --> 00:28:41,084
What am I supposed
to do around here, anyway?
422
00:28:41,128 --> 00:28:43,391
Sit in a share circle,
talk about my feelings?
423
00:28:43,434 --> 00:28:46,307
And how would I do that exactly?
424
00:28:46,350 --> 00:28:48,788
'Cause where the fuck
is everyone?
425
00:28:48,831 --> 00:28:50,050
It's always just you
426
00:28:50,093 --> 00:28:51,418
and Negasonic Teenage
Longest Name Ever...
427
00:28:51,442 --> 00:28:52,661
Enough!
428
00:28:52,705 --> 00:28:54,533
I said no touching!
429
00:28:56,317 --> 00:28:59,581
What the fuck?
430
00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:01,801
You'd think the studio
would throw us a bone.
431
00:29:01,844 --> 00:29:04,673
One that doesn't end up
in my mouth.
432
00:29:04,717 --> 00:29:05,911
The first movie made more money
433
00:29:05,935 --> 00:29:08,285
than the guy who invented pants.
434
00:29:08,329 --> 00:29:10,505
They can't just dust off
one of the famous X-Men?
435
00:29:10,549 --> 00:29:12,638
How 'bout that putz
with the giant pigeon wings?
436
00:29:12,681 --> 00:29:13,987
What do those do anyway, huh?
437
00:29:14,030 --> 00:29:15,510
Carry him
three feet off the ground
438
00:29:15,554 --> 00:29:17,599
to snatch up
the nearest muffin crumb?
439
00:29:17,643 --> 00:29:19,819
No, no, no!
440
00:29:19,862 --> 00:29:22,604
I am not X-Man material at all.
441
00:29:22,648 --> 00:29:25,302
First off...
442
00:29:25,346 --> 00:29:27,391
I'm not even a virgin.
Second and more...
443
00:29:29,611 --> 00:29:30,656
I should have left you
444
00:29:30,699 --> 00:29:32,440
in the self-pitying mess
I found you in.
445
00:29:32,483 --> 00:29:35,574
But this is what friends do.
They show up!
446
00:29:35,617 --> 00:29:37,619
Not when convenient or easy.
447
00:29:37,663 --> 00:29:41,971
When hard,
and you always make it hard.
448
00:29:42,015 --> 00:29:44,495
You are unwell.
449
00:29:44,539 --> 00:29:46,628
I'm sticking my neck out
bringing you here.
450
00:29:46,672 --> 00:29:48,587
Wait. One of the assholes
451
00:29:48,630 --> 00:29:50,110
who killed Vanessa got away.
452
00:29:52,678 --> 00:29:54,854
Oh, Jesus Christ!
453
00:29:54,897 --> 00:29:56,788
I thought you were gonna
kiss me for a second there.
454
00:29:56,812 --> 00:29:58,747
Please know I wouldn't be
able to stop you if you did.
455
00:29:58,771 --> 00:30:00,816
Wade, whoever they are...
456
00:30:00,860 --> 00:30:03,210
we track them down
and bring them to justice.
457
00:30:03,776 --> 00:30:05,212
It was me.
458
00:30:08,041 --> 00:30:10,696
I'm the asshole who got away.
459
00:30:10,739 --> 00:30:13,873
I killed every last one
of them, except me.
460
00:30:13,916 --> 00:30:15,614
Couldn't kill me.
461
00:30:18,747 --> 00:30:20,749
We were gonna start a family.
462
00:30:22,577 --> 00:30:24,535
We were, uh...
463
00:30:25,754 --> 00:30:27,495
We were gonna be a family.
464
00:30:28,278 --> 00:30:29,410
Wade...
465
00:30:29,453 --> 00:30:32,239
Vanessa is gone.
She's not coming back.
466
00:30:33,806 --> 00:30:36,156
This may not be
family you want...
467
00:30:36,199 --> 00:30:38,637
but it's family you need.
468
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:39,942
You have a good heart.
469
00:30:39,986 --> 00:30:41,552
It belongs here
where it can grow.
470
00:30:43,337 --> 00:30:44,338
What did you say?
471
00:30:46,383 --> 00:30:47,689
About my heart?
472
00:30:53,129 --> 00:30:55,131
I think I'm in the right place.
473
00:32:02,938 --> 00:32:05,767
I'mma tell you
what the big lie is.
474
00:32:05,811 --> 00:32:07,421
Toilet paper.
475
00:32:07,464 --> 00:32:08,857
What's so bad
about toilet paper?
476
00:32:08,901 --> 00:32:10,119
Gets the job done.
477
00:32:10,163 --> 00:32:13,035
Does it really get the job done?
478
00:32:13,079 --> 00:32:15,298
All right. Say you wake up
tomorrow morning...
479
00:32:15,342 --> 00:32:20,042
and, hypothetically, find some
fresh shit on your face.
480
00:32:20,086 --> 00:32:21,803
Your cheek, maybe
a little bit in the beard.
481
00:32:21,827 --> 00:32:23,543
What the hell?
I'm about to be fucking sick!
482
00:32:23,567 --> 00:32:24,655
What do you do?
483
00:32:24,699 --> 00:32:26,005
Do you go to a bathroom
484
00:32:26,048 --> 00:32:27,746
and tear off
a piece of dry tissue...
485
00:32:27,789 --> 00:32:29,660
and rub it around
on your beard a little bit
486
00:32:29,704 --> 00:32:31,271
and then go on,
get on with your day?
487
00:32:31,314 --> 00:32:32,925
Go to church,
maybe dinner and a movie,
488
00:32:32,968 --> 00:32:34,100
like nothing happened?
489
00:32:34,143 --> 00:32:35,536
Where is this coming from, man?
490
00:32:35,579 --> 00:32:36,798
But something did happen.
491
00:32:36,842 --> 00:32:38,321
Your face smells like shit.
Right?
492
00:32:38,365 --> 00:32:39,932
So what you would do,
493
00:32:39,975 --> 00:32:42,238
is you would get some soap,
you'd get some hot water...
494
00:32:42,282 --> 00:32:44,632
and you would scrub
the fucking shit
495
00:32:44,675 --> 00:32:46,677
out of your beard
for 10 straight minutes.
496
00:32:46,721 --> 00:32:48,418
You could not scrub it enough.
497
00:32:48,462 --> 00:32:50,116
Are you trying
to make me feel disgusting?
498
00:32:50,159 --> 00:32:51,378
I'm starting to feel...
499
00:32:51,421 --> 00:32:54,120
Toilet paper is
a pretty fine appetizer.
500
00:32:54,163 --> 00:32:56,470
But, then...
501
00:32:56,513 --> 00:32:58,820
Huggies Natural Care wet wipes.
502
00:32:58,864 --> 00:33:00,256
That's your main course.
503
00:33:00,300 --> 00:33:04,217
They're soft, they're moist.
They're for babies.
504
00:33:04,260 --> 00:33:07,046
Finally, one more pass
with toilet paper,
505
00:33:07,089 --> 00:33:09,004
maybe clear out
that excess moisture.
506
00:33:09,048 --> 00:33:10,701
Maybe treat yourself
to a blow and go,
507
00:33:10,745 --> 00:33:12,051
if you can get you a hair dryer.
508
00:33:12,094 --> 00:33:14,444
Just about 30 seconds
would do you good.
509
00:33:18,144 --> 00:33:19,145
The fuck?
510
00:33:20,407 --> 00:33:21,451
Year.
511
00:33:22,452 --> 00:33:23,453
What?
512
00:33:24,672 --> 00:33:26,326
What year is it?
513
00:33:26,369 --> 00:33:28,807
What kind of dumb-ass question
is that to ask?
514
00:33:59,576 --> 00:34:02,362
We have 8 weeks of
boot camp ahead of us, men.
515
00:34:02,405 --> 00:34:03,754
That'll get us
toned and prepared
516
00:34:03,798 --> 00:34:05,365
for all manner of combat.
517
00:34:07,454 --> 00:34:11,675
Not working out at all.
518
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,373
Masking tape.
519
00:34:13,416 --> 00:34:15,766
It is no friend
to chilled aluminum.
520
00:34:16,855 --> 00:34:18,857
Velcro. Color-coded, efficient,
521
00:34:18,900 --> 00:34:19,945
environmentally friendly.
522
00:34:20,728 --> 00:34:22,295
Who is he talking to?
523
00:34:22,338 --> 00:34:24,012
And why is he dressed like
a registered sex offender?
524
00:34:24,036 --> 00:34:26,038
Can we focus
for a moment, ladies?
525
00:34:26,081 --> 00:34:28,388
Please, we need to talk about
next month's meal plan.
526
00:34:28,431 --> 00:34:30,216
Obviously,
everyone hated the ceviche.
527
00:34:30,259 --> 00:34:31,608
I read the suggestion box.
528
00:34:31,652 --> 00:34:33,262
I'm gonna stop you right there.
529
00:34:33,306 --> 00:34:35,308
I see through this weak act.
530
00:34:35,351 --> 00:34:39,703
You may have fooled Colossus
with this nice guy shit...
531
00:34:39,747 --> 00:34:40,922
but not me.
532
00:34:40,966 --> 00:34:42,054
Don't be mean.
533
00:34:42,097 --> 00:34:43,446
Back off, NTW.
534
00:34:43,490 --> 00:34:45,709
No, no, no. Let her go.
535
00:34:45,753 --> 00:34:46,928
Let her go, it's okay.
536
00:34:46,972 --> 00:34:48,538
She has a right to be skeptical.
537
00:34:48,582 --> 00:34:51,193
Look at me. I'm an easy target.
538
00:34:52,368 --> 00:34:53,761
You know, historically,
539
00:34:53,804 --> 00:34:55,719
mischief has been my mistress...
540
00:34:55,763 --> 00:34:58,418
so I understand, you know.
But I like to think...
541
00:35:00,028 --> 00:35:03,336
that you guys have
really rubbed off on me.
542
00:35:03,379 --> 00:35:05,459
I like to think that I've
rubbed off around you, too.
543
00:35:07,427 --> 00:35:09,385
A lot.
544
00:35:09,429 --> 00:35:12,084
And for the first time
in a long while...
545
00:35:12,127 --> 00:35:13,302
I like me.
546
00:35:15,522 --> 00:35:18,046
- I accept your apology.
- I never apologized.
547
00:35:18,090 --> 00:35:19,656
I was talking to your heart.
548
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:22,094
See? You're not
lost cause you thought.
549
00:35:22,137 --> 00:35:25,358
I'm proud. You're everything
I knew you can be.
550
00:35:25,401 --> 00:35:27,403
Thank you, Colossus.
551
00:35:27,447 --> 00:35:29,057
Just trying to be
the world's best X-Man.
552
00:35:29,101 --> 00:35:30,537
Sorry, X-Person.
553
00:35:32,104 --> 00:35:34,802
Hmm. Something wrong
with the soap.
554
00:35:34,845 --> 00:35:36,456
It's fine.
555
00:35:36,499 --> 00:35:38,719
I just filled it. Give it
a few more pumps there.
556
00:35:39,938 --> 00:35:42,418
Now, if you'll excuse me...
557
00:35:42,462 --> 00:35:44,246
it's dust bunny season...
558
00:35:44,290 --> 00:35:45,291
and I'm hunting wabbits.
559
00:35:46,031 --> 00:35:47,119
Bye, Wade!
560
00:35:49,295 --> 00:35:51,862
- Fuck.
- Fuck you.
561
00:36:03,526 --> 00:36:06,094
No one is born perfect.
562
00:36:06,138 --> 00:36:08,140
But you can be.
563
00:36:08,183 --> 00:36:10,533
I know you're doing
what comes naturally.
564
00:36:14,842 --> 00:36:16,670
You can't help yourself.
565
00:36:20,543 --> 00:36:22,632
But you can.
566
00:36:22,676 --> 00:36:25,766
It takes work, discipline...
567
00:36:25,809 --> 00:36:27,028
and treatment.
568
00:36:27,072 --> 00:36:28,769
Your abilities...
569
00:36:30,727 --> 00:36:33,513
I know how seductive they are.
570
00:36:33,556 --> 00:36:36,690
How powerful they make you feel.
571
00:36:36,733 --> 00:36:39,258
But you must learn
never to use them...
572
00:36:39,301 --> 00:36:41,912
so they will never use you.
573
00:36:48,136 --> 00:36:49,746
Please don't cry.
574
00:36:50,573 --> 00:36:52,184
I'm going to help.
575
00:36:52,227 --> 00:36:55,404
I'm gonna make you feel
what you should feel.
576
00:36:55,448 --> 00:36:57,972
How you need to feel...
577
00:36:58,016 --> 00:37:01,367
every time you're tempted
to act upon your urges.
578
00:37:01,410 --> 00:37:05,327
Suck my mutant dick,
you four-eyed fuck.
579
00:37:19,733 --> 00:37:20,951
Wade.
580
00:37:21,952 --> 00:37:23,519
Wade!
581
00:37:23,563 --> 00:37:25,652
Come in! Hey, I was just doing
582
00:37:25,695 --> 00:37:27,610
a little bit
of light reading here...
583
00:37:27,654 --> 00:37:29,090
We have mission.
584
00:37:29,134 --> 00:37:30,657
Well, you guys be
safe out there.
585
00:37:30,700 --> 00:37:31,962
I'll be praying for you.
586
00:37:32,006 --> 00:37:34,400
No, I want you to join.
587
00:37:35,618 --> 00:37:36,793
I'm sorry, what?
588
00:37:36,837 --> 00:37:38,447
You heard me.
589
00:37:38,491 --> 00:37:40,884
Trust me,
that's a terrible idea.
590
00:37:40,928 --> 00:37:42,016
I'm really not ready.
591
00:37:42,060 --> 00:37:43,757
- You are ready.
- I'm not.
592
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:45,672
Be at the X-Jet in five.
593
00:37:45,715 --> 00:37:46,890
I can do thirty.
594
00:37:46,934 --> 00:37:48,892
- Now.
- I can do now.
595
00:37:48,936 --> 00:37:50,155
Final offer.
596
00:37:50,198 --> 00:37:52,766
Irene Merryweather, WHIT News.
597
00:37:52,809 --> 00:37:54,811
Live here
at a breaking news situation
598
00:37:54,855 --> 00:37:57,510
at the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation.
599
00:37:57,553 --> 00:37:59,512
A mutant boy
is appearing to have
600
00:37:59,555 --> 00:38:01,035
some sort of an incident...
601
00:38:01,079 --> 00:38:02,578
- with police here behind me.
- Get away from me!
602
00:38:02,602 --> 00:38:05,039
There are two police vehicles
that are overturned.
603
00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:06,538
- There are open fires.
- Fuck off! Stay back!
604
00:38:06,562 --> 00:38:07,626
A scene of absolute chaos here.
605
00:38:07,650 --> 00:38:08,782
Calm down.
606
00:38:08,825 --> 00:38:11,437
I'll burn you! You stay back!
607
00:38:12,177 --> 00:38:13,961
Get away from me!
608
00:38:14,004 --> 00:38:16,485
You wanna fucking die?
609
00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:34,721
And it appears as if the X-Men
are arriving...
610
00:38:34,764 --> 00:38:36,288
Scatter!
611
00:38:36,331 --> 00:38:38,333
With what appears
to be a trainee.
612
00:38:38,377 --> 00:38:41,380
Everyone, calm down!
The pros are here. I...
613
00:38:41,423 --> 00:38:42,598
We're the X-Men!
614
00:38:42,642 --> 00:38:45,166
A dated metaphor for racism
in the '60s.
615
00:38:45,210 --> 00:38:47,734
So, respect.
616
00:38:47,777 --> 00:38:49,039
At ease, Officer.
617
00:38:50,606 --> 00:38:52,130
What are you doing?
618
00:38:52,608 --> 00:38:53,914
My job!
619
00:38:53,957 --> 00:38:55,357
You're the one who said
I was ready,
620
00:38:55,394 --> 00:38:56,917
and I frankly disagreed
with you.
621
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,354
But here we are, trying to
overcome our differences.
622
00:38:59,398 --> 00:39:01,835
Like Beyonce says, "Please...
623
00:39:02,662 --> 00:39:04,054
"Please, stop cheating on me."
624
00:39:04,098 --> 00:39:05,186
Hey!
625
00:39:05,230 --> 00:39:06,622
This is the fifth incident.
626
00:39:06,666 --> 00:39:08,885
This kid needs to be
in the Ice Box, not here.
627
00:39:08,929 --> 00:39:10,583
Russell belongs in our care.
628
00:39:10,626 --> 00:39:12,411
Not in prison. I assure you...
629
00:39:12,454 --> 00:39:13,605
we have everything
under control.
630
00:39:13,629 --> 00:39:14,737
Stay back! I'll burn you!
631
00:39:14,761 --> 00:39:15,979
Not getting a real
632
00:39:16,023 --> 00:39:18,112
"under control"
vibe here, Marty.
633
00:39:18,156 --> 00:39:20,201
It is Glen, isn't it? Daniel.
634
00:39:20,245 --> 00:39:21,483
I'll ask the questions, Miguel.
635
00:39:21,507 --> 00:39:22,856
Let me talk to the kid.
636
00:39:22,899 --> 00:39:27,730
You stay here with your weird,
secret sex lips.
637
00:39:29,471 --> 00:39:30,516
You wanna die?
638
00:39:30,559 --> 00:39:31,754
This kid's adorable.
639
00:39:31,778 --> 00:39:32,798
I don't know why I packed
the hollow points.
640
00:39:32,822 --> 00:39:33,997
I'll burn your balls off!
641
00:39:34,041 --> 00:39:37,392
First day. I'm so nervous!
642
00:39:37,436 --> 00:39:39,002
Did you just say
"hollow points"?
643
00:39:39,046 --> 00:39:40,395
Yeah, probably should've
644
00:39:40,439 --> 00:39:42,484
brought a Super Soaker.
645
00:39:43,050 --> 00:39:44,051
Hi, there!
646
00:39:45,313 --> 00:39:47,837
Stay back or Justin Bieber dies!
647
00:39:47,881 --> 00:39:51,363
Justin Bieber.
He called you Justin Bieber.
648
00:39:52,755 --> 00:39:54,429
Hold on! Wait, wait, wait!
649
00:39:54,453 --> 00:39:57,586
Okay, let's not do
whatever that is.
650
00:39:57,630 --> 00:39:59,153
Okay? Let's just talk!
651
00:39:59,197 --> 00:40:00,807
It's Russell, right?
652
00:40:00,850 --> 00:40:03,113
- Firefist.
- Firefist.
653
00:40:03,157 --> 00:40:05,377
Ooh, that's a great name.
Where does it burn?
654
00:40:05,420 --> 00:40:07,220
Just the fist, or all the way
up to the elbow?
655
00:40:11,905 --> 00:40:14,560
Definitely all
the way up to the elbow.
656
00:40:14,603 --> 00:40:17,432
Come quietly,
or there will be trouble.
657
00:40:17,476 --> 00:40:20,261
- You stole that from Robocop!
- That's from Robocop!
658
00:40:20,305 --> 00:40:21,958
Just stand down!
659
00:40:22,002 --> 00:40:24,091
You're embarrassing me.
Look, Fire...
660
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,964
Oh, my God! I can't say it!
I'm so sorry!
661
00:40:32,491 --> 00:40:36,495
Oh, shit! That fucking does it!
662
00:40:36,538 --> 00:40:37,931
Put your hands behind your knees
663
00:40:37,974 --> 00:40:39,454
and get down on your head! Now!
664
00:40:39,498 --> 00:40:41,761
Wade! What was first rule?
665
00:40:41,804 --> 00:40:43,763
Label everything
in the refrigerator!
666
00:40:43,806 --> 00:40:46,418
Do not escalate!
Rules are meant to be broken!
667
00:40:46,461 --> 00:40:47,897
That's the exact opposite
668
00:40:47,941 --> 00:40:49,290
of what they're meant for!
669
00:40:50,335 --> 00:40:52,293
Fuck! Fine!
670
00:40:52,337 --> 00:40:53,947
I'll start from the beginning.
671
00:40:53,990 --> 00:40:56,341
My name is Deadpool,
and I'm an X-Man.
672
00:40:56,384 --> 00:40:58,343
Trainee! Shut it!
673
00:40:59,300 --> 00:41:01,563
Look, I get it.
674
00:41:02,738 --> 00:41:04,349
All right, you're scared.
675
00:41:04,914 --> 00:41:06,002
Alone.
676
00:41:06,046 --> 00:41:07,134
You got no family.
677
00:41:07,177 --> 00:41:08,242
I didn't have a family, either.
678
00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:10,006
You live in this dump.
Guess what?
679
00:41:10,050 --> 00:41:11,747
I used to live in a shithole
just like it.
680
00:41:12,661 --> 00:41:14,010
But you know something?
681
00:41:14,054 --> 00:41:15,795
A wise woman once said to me...
682
00:41:15,838 --> 00:41:17,318
"Speak up."
683
00:41:17,362 --> 00:41:20,190
"I can't hear you with that
pity dick in your mouth."
684
00:41:20,234 --> 00:41:21,844
Too much? I went too far.
685
00:41:29,809 --> 00:41:31,332
That was effervescent.
686
00:41:31,376 --> 00:41:33,639
Stay in school, kid.
687
00:41:33,682 --> 00:41:35,510
Or don't. I didn't.
688
00:41:35,554 --> 00:41:37,164
And I'm an X-Man.
689
00:41:37,207 --> 00:41:38,339
Trainee.
690
00:41:38,383 --> 00:41:39,732
Fuck it!
691
00:41:39,775 --> 00:41:41,516
Superhero landing coming up!
692
00:41:45,128 --> 00:41:46,782
Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck!
693
00:41:46,826 --> 00:41:48,915
That is so not practical.
694
00:42:09,414 --> 00:42:11,546
I could get used
to this X-Man shit.
695
00:42:11,590 --> 00:42:12,741
Trainee!
696
00:42:12,765 --> 00:42:13,983
Trainee!
697
00:42:14,027 --> 00:42:15,811
Get a power restraint
on him. Now!
698
00:42:15,855 --> 00:42:19,075
Calm down, squirt.
It's over. We got ya.
699
00:42:20,947 --> 00:42:22,470
What's that do?
700
00:42:22,514 --> 00:42:24,037
Power-dampening collar.
701
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:25,386
Shuts down all mutant abilities.
702
00:42:25,430 --> 00:42:28,258
You can't get it off.
Unless you've got a grenade.
703
00:42:28,302 --> 00:42:31,305
Huh. Could've used
one of those in the first act.
704
00:42:31,349 --> 00:42:32,567
Thank you!
705
00:42:34,439 --> 00:42:36,658
That was absolutely thrilling.
706
00:42:36,702 --> 00:42:38,921
True heroism in action.
707
00:42:38,965 --> 00:42:40,619
We are in your debt.
708
00:42:41,446 --> 00:42:43,099
We can take it from here.
709
00:42:43,143 --> 00:42:45,363
Take me to the Ice Box, please!
710
00:42:45,406 --> 00:42:46,581
Anywhere's better than here.
711
00:42:46,625 --> 00:42:47,887
Believe me, son,
712
00:42:47,930 --> 00:42:49,671
you do not wanna go
to the Ice Box.
713
00:42:49,715 --> 00:42:52,326
That place makes Hitler's anus
look like Waikiki.
714
00:42:52,370 --> 00:42:54,241
Let's get you inside, young man.
715
00:42:54,284 --> 00:42:56,286
No, wait, wait. Wait.
716
00:42:56,330 --> 00:42:57,810
You guys stay there.
717
00:43:07,907 --> 00:43:09,517
Those guys hurt you?
718
00:43:10,953 --> 00:43:11,998
Who?
719
00:43:14,043 --> 00:43:16,742
Baldilocks? Jared Kushner?
720
00:43:18,221 --> 00:43:19,701
Both of 'em?
721
00:43:23,444 --> 00:43:25,141
Oh, fuck it.
722
00:43:25,185 --> 00:43:26,752
Four or five moments!
723
00:43:26,795 --> 00:43:27,840
I'm sorry?
724
00:43:27,883 --> 00:43:31,060
Four or five moments!
725
00:43:32,322 --> 00:43:35,064
That's all it takes
to be a hero.
726
00:43:36,109 --> 00:43:38,416
People think
you wake up a hero...
727
00:43:38,459 --> 00:43:40,592
brush your teeth a hero...
728
00:43:40,635 --> 00:43:43,551
ejaculate into
a soap dispenser a hero.
729
00:43:44,987 --> 00:43:48,687
But, no, being a hero
takes only a few moments!
730
00:43:50,036 --> 00:43:51,690
A few moments...
731
00:43:51,733 --> 00:43:54,432
doing the ugly stuff
no one else will do.
732
00:43:57,913 --> 00:43:59,045
No!
733
00:44:01,700 --> 00:44:02,981
Stand down! Hold your fire!
734
00:44:03,005 --> 00:44:05,355
- Wade, what did you do?
- Colossus, no!
735
00:44:05,399 --> 00:44:08,663
You were right, Wade.
You are not X-Men material.
736
00:44:08,707 --> 00:44:11,013
No shit, Shiny Gandhi!
737
00:44:11,057 --> 00:44:12,537
What was your first clue?
738
00:44:12,580 --> 00:44:15,714
The hollow point
through that fuckhead's face?
739
00:44:15,757 --> 00:44:17,063
That kid was abused!
740
00:44:17,106 --> 00:44:19,152
- You can always tell!
- We have rules!
741
00:44:19,195 --> 00:44:21,937
You are not judge,
jury or executioner!
742
00:44:21,981 --> 00:44:24,940
Fuck your rules!
I fight for what's right!
743
00:44:24,984 --> 00:44:26,812
And sometimes
you gotta fight dirty!
744
00:44:26,855 --> 00:44:29,902
You let me down
for the last time, Wade.
745
00:44:33,035 --> 00:44:35,342
Okay, get these guys in the pod.
746
00:44:35,385 --> 00:44:37,562
Take them to the Ice Box.
747
00:44:58,191 --> 00:44:59,192
Hey, baby!
748
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,543
I wonder what gang I'll be in.
749
00:45:02,587 --> 00:45:04,066
Yeah!
750
00:45:04,110 --> 00:45:06,373
- Is there, like, a Sorting Hat?
- Hi.
751
00:45:08,244 --> 00:45:09,637
I've always seen myself as
752
00:45:09,681 --> 00:45:11,073
more of
an East Coast Hufflepuff.
753
00:45:12,597 --> 00:45:15,556
I've made a critical error
on my Airbnb reservation.
754
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:19,473
This is not what the website
looked like at all.
755
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:22,781
I love the decor though.
756
00:45:22,824 --> 00:45:24,783
I had no idea
hopeless was a color.
757
00:45:24,826 --> 00:45:26,088
Hard left, douchebag.
758
00:45:30,615 --> 00:45:31,833
Please, after you.
759
00:45:33,966 --> 00:45:36,664
Another disgusting minority
off the streets.
760
00:45:36,708 --> 00:45:37,839
We'll sleep well tonight.
761
00:45:37,883 --> 00:45:38,927
Let's get a bagel.
762
00:45:42,191 --> 00:45:45,020
Nighty-night,
you annoying prick!
763
00:46:20,795 --> 00:46:22,686
You're a long way
from your superpowers.
764
00:46:22,710 --> 00:46:25,147
Yeah. Just a touch of cancer.
765
00:46:25,191 --> 00:46:27,672
Not to worry, we're old friends.
766
00:46:27,715 --> 00:46:28,934
Fuck!
767
00:46:28,977 --> 00:46:31,153
I wanted to be a superhero.
768
00:46:31,197 --> 00:46:33,155
Always wanted a real super suit.
769
00:46:33,199 --> 00:46:34,766
What happened?
770
00:46:34,809 --> 00:46:36,929
When was the last time you saw
a plus-sized superhero?
771
00:46:37,595 --> 00:46:39,074
Never.
772
00:46:39,118 --> 00:46:40,902
The industry discriminates.
773
00:46:41,990 --> 00:46:44,079
Fuck superheroes.
774
00:46:44,123 --> 00:46:46,386
The thing that
pisses me off the most...
775
00:46:46,429 --> 00:46:48,257
I never stood up
for myself in there.
776
00:46:49,868 --> 00:46:52,784
My whole life.
777
00:46:52,827 --> 00:46:56,309
I've been waiting for someone
to come and save me.
778
00:46:58,703 --> 00:47:01,662
Nobody's gonna sacrifice
anything for me.
779
00:47:05,797 --> 00:47:08,060
I gotta start taking care
of myself.
780
00:47:09,409 --> 00:47:12,151
I have a mission now.
781
00:47:12,194 --> 00:47:14,849
The first thing I wanna do
when I get out of here...
782
00:47:14,893 --> 00:47:17,243
burn the headmaster alive...
783
00:47:17,286 --> 00:47:20,986
and then take a selfie
with his smoldering corpse.
784
00:47:21,029 --> 00:47:23,466
Aw. That's, like,
my favorite part of the Bible.
785
00:47:25,207 --> 00:47:27,688
I don't have
a sock puppet on me...
786
00:47:27,732 --> 00:47:29,777
but what did he do to you?
787
00:47:29,821 --> 00:47:31,431
Did he taste the rainbow?
788
00:47:31,474 --> 00:47:33,520
I'd whisper it,
but Skittles would sue us.
789
00:47:34,695 --> 00:47:36,697
Fucker hates mutants.
790
00:47:36,741 --> 00:47:38,699
He tried to beat
the genes out of us.
791
00:47:38,743 --> 00:47:41,267
Nothing worse than
a "pray the gay away" type guy.
792
00:47:42,050 --> 00:47:43,443
Sick piece of shit.
793
00:47:44,836 --> 00:47:48,535
Tomorrow, we'll find
the biggest guy in here...
794
00:47:49,492 --> 00:47:51,190
and we'll make him our bitch!
795
00:47:55,107 --> 00:47:56,456
What was that?
796
00:47:56,499 --> 00:47:59,067
That is the biggest guy in here.
797
00:47:59,111 --> 00:48:01,200
Fun fact about the Ice Box...
798
00:48:01,243 --> 00:48:03,071
though no one's ever seen it,
799
00:48:03,115 --> 00:48:05,334
they keep a monster
in the basement.
800
00:48:05,378 --> 00:48:07,119
Right next to a huge,
801
00:48:07,162 --> 00:48:08,686
steaming bowl of foreshadowing.
802
00:48:09,338 --> 00:48:10,339
Look.
803
00:48:11,340 --> 00:48:13,603
I can't protect you.
804
00:48:13,647 --> 00:48:14,779
With this collar on,
805
00:48:14,822 --> 00:48:17,956
my superpower
is just unbridled cancer.
806
00:48:17,999 --> 00:48:21,481
Give me a bow and arrow,
I'm basically Hawkeye.
807
00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:23,613
Now, if you'll excuse me...
808
00:48:23,657 --> 00:48:26,834
I've got tumors to grow.
Vanessa awaits.
809
00:48:26,878 --> 00:48:29,358
I'll start by making us a shank.
810
00:48:29,402 --> 00:48:31,317
Good listening. I stole that guard's pen...
811
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:33,319
and stashed it
in the old prison wallet,
812
00:48:33,362 --> 00:48:34,755
if you know what I'm saying.
813
00:48:34,799 --> 00:48:37,279
I really hope I don't know
what you're saying.
814
00:48:39,368 --> 00:48:41,719
I know it's in there,
I just need to get it out.
815
00:48:41,762 --> 00:48:43,851
Oh, Jesus Christ.
816
00:48:43,895 --> 00:48:46,549
I can hear you
rummaging around in there.
817
00:48:46,593 --> 00:48:48,987
Do they make Purell
for your ears?
818
00:48:53,513 --> 00:48:54,873
And to update you
819
00:48:54,906 --> 00:48:56,298
on the story reported earlier,
820
00:48:56,342 --> 00:48:58,039
after a lengthy standoff
821
00:48:58,083 --> 00:49:00,694
outside the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation...
822
00:49:00,738 --> 00:49:02,043
two mutants were arrested
823
00:49:02,087 --> 00:49:03,828
and transported
to the Ice Box...
824
00:49:03,871 --> 00:49:05,351
Entering repair mode.
825
00:49:09,703 --> 00:49:11,289
Several
police cars were destroyed
826
00:49:11,313 --> 00:49:13,141
and the X-Men were called in
to restore order.
827
00:49:34,380 --> 00:49:36,382
Cells seven and nine
828
00:49:36,425 --> 00:49:39,820
now off-limits
for medical personnel.
829
00:49:39,864 --> 00:49:41,343
Cells seven and nine
830
00:49:41,387 --> 00:49:44,129
now off-limits
for medical personnel.
831
00:49:45,870 --> 00:49:47,262
Psst!
832
00:49:49,569 --> 00:49:51,919
Don't do that.
833
00:49:51,963 --> 00:49:54,835
What? Why are you winking at me?
834
00:49:58,447 --> 00:49:59,840
I got your back.
835
00:49:59,884 --> 00:50:01,102
Oh, my God.
836
00:50:01,146 --> 00:50:02,669
You're sick,
I gotta protect you.
837
00:50:02,712 --> 00:50:04,627
Just leave me alone, kid.
838
00:50:05,759 --> 00:50:06,804
Oh, great.
839
00:50:08,675 --> 00:50:11,199
Well, hello there, new fish.
840
00:50:11,243 --> 00:50:14,289
It's nice to see some
fresh faces around here.
841
00:50:14,333 --> 00:50:16,596
I've done some
light catalog work...
842
00:50:16,639 --> 00:50:19,120
but, really, modeling is just
a stepping stone to acting.
843
00:50:19,164 --> 00:50:21,949
- I was talking to him.
- Oh.
844
00:50:21,993 --> 00:50:25,387
Have we met?
I can't place your mustache.
845
00:50:25,431 --> 00:50:28,086
- Black Tom Cassidy.
- White Wade Wilson.
846
00:50:28,129 --> 00:50:31,567
What's your superpower?
Cultural appropriation?
847
00:50:31,611 --> 00:50:34,179
You're supposed to be
the toughest cunt in here.
848
00:50:34,222 --> 00:50:36,790
You don't look like much to me.
849
00:50:36,834 --> 00:50:39,271
First rule of the yard,
fuckface...
850
00:50:39,314 --> 00:50:41,360
find the biggest guy
and make him your...
851
00:50:45,190 --> 00:50:47,409
Second biggest guy.
852
00:50:47,453 --> 00:50:49,890
The last thing I need
is more hepatitis.
853
00:50:49,934 --> 00:50:53,502
Oh, it's slippery, too.
This table needs a wipe down!
854
00:50:53,546 --> 00:50:55,374
Can we get a wipe down
on the table?
855
00:50:56,679 --> 00:50:58,899
Kid, I think you picked
the wrong side.
856
00:50:58,943 --> 00:51:01,293
No, I didn't! He's my friend!
857
00:51:01,336 --> 00:51:03,599
Zip it. We're not friends.
858
00:51:05,297 --> 00:51:06,577
You're about to get
dick-slapped.
859
00:51:18,963 --> 00:51:20,703
I had so much fun!
You were like...
860
00:51:20,747 --> 00:51:22,836
And I was like,
"Take a seat, shit dick."
861
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:24,620
Just let me die in peace.
862
00:51:24,664 --> 00:51:26,796
We make a great team!
863
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:29,408
Oh, God! We're not a team.
864
00:51:29,451 --> 00:51:33,803
Why'd you say that back there?
We're friends, partners.
865
00:51:33,847 --> 00:51:36,241
We're not partners or friends.
866
00:51:37,677 --> 00:51:39,766
This doesn't end with us
riding into the sunset.
867
00:51:39,809 --> 00:51:41,986
It ends with me
dying of cancer...
868
00:51:42,029 --> 00:51:45,903
and you winning the Ice Box
award for softest mouth.
869
00:51:47,339 --> 00:51:48,949
There's only one person
in this world
870
00:51:48,993 --> 00:51:50,777
that I care about,
and she's gone.
871
00:51:52,561 --> 00:51:55,738
You wanna survive?
872
00:51:55,782 --> 00:51:59,090
Stop trying to shank
the biggest guys in here...
873
00:51:59,133 --> 00:52:01,005
and make friends with them.
874
00:52:02,310 --> 00:52:03,921
Make friends with someone.
875
00:52:05,139 --> 00:52:06,749
Anyone but me.
876
00:52:07,925 --> 00:52:10,231
Maybe even Black Tim.
877
00:52:11,145 --> 00:52:12,755
Black Evan, I don't know.
878
00:52:12,799 --> 00:52:15,280
All I remember is
he was African-American.
879
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:02,849
System malfunctioning.
880
00:53:02,892 --> 00:53:06,244
Cells 7, 12, 14, 27.
881
00:53:06,287 --> 00:53:08,550
Back in your cells, you filthy
mutants! Get in there!
882
00:53:08,594 --> 00:53:11,901
Cells 1, 3, 7, 8.
883
00:53:13,077 --> 00:53:14,517
Searching.
884
00:53:16,036 --> 00:53:18,386
Cell 04 located.
885
00:53:19,779 --> 00:53:21,911
Door won't open!
886
00:53:21,955 --> 00:53:23,565
On your fucking knees!
887
00:54:00,515 --> 00:54:02,213
That was our cell.
888
00:54:04,345 --> 00:54:06,652
What did I do to piss off
a grumpy old fucker
889
00:54:06,695 --> 00:54:07,870
with a Winter Soldier arm?
890
00:54:17,141 --> 00:54:19,056
Get away from me, kid!
891
00:54:26,672 --> 00:54:27,890
Listen to me! Go!
892
00:54:33,374 --> 00:54:34,680
Hello, Russell.
893
00:56:18,262 --> 00:56:19,263
Who are you?
894
00:56:20,177 --> 00:56:21,395
I'm Batman.
895
00:56:32,841 --> 00:56:33,886
Ooh!
896
00:56:38,630 --> 00:56:41,502
Oh. That's got some zip.
897
00:56:50,032 --> 00:56:52,818
Don't feel bad.
Even I can't kill me.
898
00:56:53,514 --> 00:56:55,081
Talk!
899
00:56:55,124 --> 00:56:56,909
What kind of
spineless shit stick
900
00:56:56,952 --> 00:56:58,302
tries to kill a 14-year-old boy?
901
00:56:59,607 --> 00:57:01,130
You might wanna start talking!
902
00:57:01,174 --> 00:57:03,414
'Cause I got a long history of
firing at times like this!
903
00:57:04,786 --> 00:57:06,788
The name's Cable.
904
00:57:06,832 --> 00:57:09,487
I'm from the future.
Just walk away.
905
00:57:10,183 --> 00:57:11,489
Oh!
906
00:57:11,532 --> 00:57:13,491
So, you're from the future.
907
00:57:13,534 --> 00:57:15,493
I have three questions then.
908
00:57:15,536 --> 00:57:19,148
One, is dubstep still a thing?
909
00:57:19,192 --> 00:57:21,673
Two, do people still homebrew?
910
00:57:21,716 --> 00:57:24,284
And three,
does Dopinder ever find love?
911
00:58:08,459 --> 00:58:10,243
Dubstep's for pussies.
912
00:58:10,287 --> 00:58:11,592
You're so dark!
913
00:58:11,636 --> 00:58:13,725
Are you sure you're not
from the DC universe?
914
00:58:14,465 --> 00:58:16,031
I love dubstep!
915
00:58:42,319 --> 00:58:43,755
Is that a fanny pack?
916
00:58:43,798 --> 00:58:46,366
I used to have one of those
in 1990-never.
917
00:58:47,367 --> 00:58:49,456
Something to remember you by.
918
00:58:49,500 --> 00:58:53,286
Give me that back!
That goes with me everywhere.
919
00:58:53,330 --> 00:58:55,680
Like the memory
of your fucking fanny pack!
920
00:59:05,429 --> 00:59:07,518
Why are you protecting the kid?
921
00:59:08,823 --> 00:59:11,130
I don't give a fuck about him...
922
00:59:11,173 --> 00:59:13,567
and his Are You My Mother?
Complex!
923
00:59:15,917 --> 00:59:17,179
What's this one do?
924
00:59:31,368 --> 00:59:32,978
In every film, there's a moment
925
00:59:33,021 --> 00:59:35,415
when the hero hits rock bottom.
926
00:59:35,459 --> 00:59:37,417
In Cool Runnings,
it was when John Candy's
927
00:59:37,461 --> 00:59:39,419
prized bobsled broke.
928
00:59:39,463 --> 00:59:42,204
In Human Centipede,
it was when those people...
929
00:59:42,248 --> 00:59:43,815
signed on to be in that movie.
930
00:59:43,858 --> 00:59:45,991
But in this film, well...
931
00:59:46,034 --> 00:59:47,253
you're looking at it.
932
00:59:47,296 --> 00:59:49,037
On your fucking knees, mutant.
933
00:59:51,953 --> 00:59:52,954
Rock...
934
00:59:57,002 --> 00:59:58,482
meet bottom.
935
01:00:09,188 --> 01:00:10,339
I love you, Wade Wilson.
936
01:00:10,363 --> 01:00:11,538
Ness?
937
01:00:12,583 --> 01:00:14,062
Hey, Ness!
938
01:00:14,933 --> 01:00:16,761
Ness, can you let me in?
939
01:00:16,804 --> 01:00:18,893
Please! Please.
940
01:00:21,069 --> 01:00:22,201
Jesus.
941
01:00:25,117 --> 01:00:26,877
You're not giving me
a lot of direction here.
942
01:00:26,901 --> 01:00:28,729
I'm at the end of my rope.
943
01:00:31,210 --> 01:00:33,560
Then I joined the X-Men.
944
01:00:33,604 --> 01:00:35,432
I went to prison. I, uh...
945
01:00:39,523 --> 01:00:41,046
Is it the kid?
946
01:00:43,091 --> 01:00:46,007
Kids give us a chance to be
better than we used to be.
947
01:00:47,444 --> 01:00:48,445
The kid!
948
01:01:02,067 --> 01:01:03,677
That's exactly what she meant.
949
01:01:03,721 --> 01:01:05,133
Your heart needs to be
in the right place.
950
01:01:05,157 --> 01:01:07,028
I'm not gonna abandon this kid.
951
01:01:07,072 --> 01:01:09,683
He's never had anyone, ever.
952
01:01:09,727 --> 01:01:11,076
I need to be selfless.
953
01:01:11,119 --> 01:01:13,078
Yeah, but what does that mean?
954
01:01:13,121 --> 01:01:16,385
It means I'm gonna save Russell.
955
01:01:16,429 --> 01:01:17,952
Maybe I couldn't save Vanessa...
956
01:01:17,996 --> 01:01:20,999
but maybe I can save a robust
teenager from New Zealand.
957
01:01:21,042 --> 01:01:23,107
Yeah, but what I mean is,
like, the world "selfless."
958
01:01:23,131 --> 01:01:24,655
I literally don't know
what that means.
959
01:01:24,698 --> 01:01:25,873
Jesus Christ.
960
01:01:25,917 --> 01:01:28,659
Okay, look.
According to my guy, okay...
961
01:01:28,702 --> 01:01:30,530
those muties
are being transferred
962
01:01:30,574 --> 01:01:32,401
to a supermax, 80 miles away.
963
01:01:32,445 --> 01:01:34,273
Great, I'll pick 'em off
along the way.
964
01:01:34,316 --> 01:01:36,493
Hold your testicles there,
buddy, okay?
965
01:01:36,536 --> 01:01:38,538
We're talking about
an armored convoy...
966
01:01:38,582 --> 01:01:41,193
and a vicious super soldier
from the future...
967
01:01:41,236 --> 01:01:43,587
that is looking to turn your
skull into a fuckable ashtray.
968
01:01:43,630 --> 01:01:45,110
You know what we need to do?
969
01:01:45,153 --> 01:01:47,025
We need to build a fucking team.
970
01:01:47,068 --> 01:01:49,157
We need 'em tough,
morally flexible...
971
01:01:49,201 --> 01:01:50,594
and young enough
so they can carry
972
01:01:50,637 --> 01:01:51,832
this franchise 10 to 12 years.
973
01:01:51,856 --> 01:01:53,727
A team of
highly-skilled motherfuckers.
974
01:01:53,771 --> 01:01:56,817
I'm talking about some
Ocean's 14 shit, Rogue Two,
975
01:01:56,861 --> 01:01:59,298
John Wick 3, but with
the original director.
976
01:01:59,341 --> 01:02:01,256
My body is an
instrument of death.
977
01:02:01,300 --> 01:02:02,649
Not now, Dopinder.
978
01:02:02,693 --> 01:02:04,172
I could be of great use.
979
01:02:04,216 --> 01:02:05,783
What's your superpower?
980
01:02:07,611 --> 01:02:09,264
- Courage.
- That's adorable.
981
01:02:09,308 --> 01:02:10,981
Do you have the courage
to check and see...
982
01:02:11,005 --> 01:02:13,399
if there are enough sanitary
napkins in the dispenser?
983
01:02:13,442 --> 01:02:14,487
Yes, sir.
984
01:02:14,531 --> 01:02:15,793
I'm sorry you had to see that,
985
01:02:15,836 --> 01:02:18,186
although I'm glad you heard it.
986
01:02:18,230 --> 01:02:20,145
All right, I'll put out
a call for resumes.
987
01:02:20,188 --> 01:02:22,451
But we're not paying
medical or dental.
988
01:02:22,495 --> 01:02:24,541
It's time to get back
on Linkedln.
989
01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:03,057
Attention, all inmates!
990
01:03:03,101 --> 01:03:05,538
Transport to Cross Force
Maximum Security
991
01:03:05,582 --> 01:03:07,061
Mutant Containment Facility...
992
01:03:07,105 --> 01:03:09,063
will begin at 0800 hours.
993
01:03:09,107 --> 01:03:11,109
Inspection of your cells
and out processing
994
01:03:11,152 --> 01:03:13,198
will begin at 0600.
995
01:03:21,510 --> 01:03:22,599
Oi.
996
01:03:22,642 --> 01:03:23,991
What the fuck do you want?
997
01:03:24,035 --> 01:03:25,863
That's my fucking pudding.
998
01:03:25,906 --> 01:03:27,908
Fuck your pudding! You like pudding?
999
01:03:48,929 --> 01:03:49,930
Hello?
1000
01:03:52,237 --> 01:03:54,587
I know you're in there.
1001
01:04:10,255 --> 01:04:12,561
Must be hard
being the biggest guy in here.
1002
01:04:13,824 --> 01:04:16,130
Lonely at the top, eh?
1003
01:04:16,174 --> 01:04:18,132
They're moving us tomorrow.
1004
01:04:20,613 --> 01:04:22,397
Maybe I can get you out of here.
1005
01:04:23,616 --> 01:04:26,750
And we can make
the whole world our bitch.
1006
01:04:28,621 --> 01:04:30,362
We need a secret code.
1007
01:04:33,582 --> 01:04:36,020
No,
that's stupid, Russell. Idiot.
1008
01:04:43,288 --> 01:04:44,811
We're a team.
1009
01:04:44,855 --> 01:04:46,813
We're like thugs,
we're like gangsters.
1010
01:04:46,857 --> 01:04:50,512
I'm like Tupac,
and you're like Ice Cube.
1011
01:04:50,556 --> 01:04:51,664
Supposedly, she can rap, too.
1012
01:04:51,688 --> 01:04:52,776
Yeah.
1013
01:04:52,819 --> 01:04:53,864
I like that.
1014
01:04:53,907 --> 01:04:55,561
Terrific,
these are all terrific.
1015
01:04:55,604 --> 01:04:57,345
Meet Bedlam.
1016
01:04:57,389 --> 01:04:59,652
Cool name! Superpowers?
1017
01:04:59,696 --> 01:05:01,219
I can distort electrical fields.
1018
01:05:02,437 --> 01:05:04,657
Including the one
inside your brain...
1019
01:05:04,701 --> 01:05:07,399
causing anxiety, confusion...
1020
01:05:07,442 --> 01:05:09,444
pain.
1021
01:05:09,488 --> 01:05:11,577
So, basically,
you're Dave Matthews.
1022
01:05:11,620 --> 01:05:12,752
We can use him.
1023
01:05:14,536 --> 01:05:16,190
I'm Zeitgeist.
1024
01:05:16,234 --> 01:05:17,539
Cool. I like it.
1025
01:05:17,583 --> 01:05:18,845
So you have the power
1026
01:05:18,889 --> 01:05:21,239
to put your finger
on the pulse of society?
1027
01:05:22,283 --> 01:05:23,458
No.
1028
01:05:23,502 --> 01:05:25,069
No, I spit acidic vomit.
1029
01:05:25,112 --> 01:05:26,244
- Oh.
- Do you want me...
1030
01:05:26,287 --> 01:05:27,680
- to demonstrate?
- No!
1031
01:05:27,724 --> 01:05:29,203
We'll take your word for it.
1032
01:05:29,247 --> 01:05:31,399
Thank you. Yeah. Listen,
we've all eaten at Arby's, okay?
1033
01:05:31,423 --> 01:05:34,034
And this is the Vanisher.
1034
01:05:37,385 --> 01:05:38,386
But...
1035
01:05:39,561 --> 01:05:41,041
Vanisher!
1036
01:05:43,565 --> 01:05:45,219
Nice! Right?
1037
01:05:46,525 --> 01:05:47,656
He's not here, is he?
1038
01:05:47,700 --> 01:05:49,223
He may be running late.
1039
01:05:50,834 --> 01:05:53,662
My name's Rusty,
but I go by Shatterstar.
1040
01:05:53,706 --> 01:05:54,925
That's good, yeah.
1041
01:05:54,968 --> 01:05:57,101
- "Rusty" is terrible.
- Toughie.
1042
01:05:57,144 --> 01:05:59,973
So, uh, where are you from?
The planet Mojo World.
1043
01:06:00,017 --> 01:06:02,062
- So you're an alien, I guess.
- Bad name.
1044
01:06:02,106 --> 01:06:03,803
How does that, uh, help us?
1045
01:06:03,847 --> 01:06:06,763
I'm basically better
than you at everything.
1046
01:06:06,806 --> 01:06:08,523
Just once, I'm gonna find
a planet of people
1047
01:06:08,547 --> 01:06:10,114
that are worse than me
at everything.
1048
01:06:10,157 --> 01:06:12,377
A whole bunch
of functional idiots.
1049
01:06:12,420 --> 01:06:14,355
I'm gonna go there, and I'm
gonna be their Superman.
1050
01:06:14,379 --> 01:06:15,510
Isn't that Canada?
1051
01:06:15,554 --> 01:06:17,948
You shut your
goddamn trash mouth!
1052
01:06:19,123 --> 01:06:20,646
- Meet...
- Domino.
1053
01:06:20,689 --> 01:06:22,735
- What's your shtick?
- I'm lucky.
1054
01:06:22,779 --> 01:06:24,171
That's not a superpower.
1055
01:06:24,215 --> 01:06:25,346
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it isn't.
1056
01:06:25,390 --> 01:06:26,652
- Yes, it is.
- No, it isn't.
1057
01:06:26,695 --> 01:06:27,740
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it isn't.
1058
01:06:27,784 --> 01:06:28,828
- Yes, it is.
- No, it isn't.
1059
01:06:28,872 --> 01:06:29,892
- Yeah, it is.
- Really isn't.
1060
01:06:29,916 --> 01:06:31,135
- No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.
1061
01:06:31,178 --> 01:06:32,353
Told you.
1062
01:06:32,397 --> 01:06:33,746
Get out of my head!
1063
01:06:33,790 --> 01:06:35,400
I'm not in your head.
1064
01:06:35,443 --> 01:06:36,793
I'm in an 11-year-old's bedroom.
1065
01:06:36,836 --> 01:06:37,968
Well, if you're so lucky,
1066
01:06:38,011 --> 01:06:39,621
then what are you
doing here with us?
1067
01:06:39,665 --> 01:06:40,797
I don't know yet.
1068
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:42,363
What's that supposed to mean?
1069
01:06:42,407 --> 01:06:43,688
There's a reason why I'm here,
and I'll know when I know.
1070
01:06:43,712 --> 01:06:45,516
Everything usually
just kind of works out for me.
1071
01:06:45,540 --> 01:06:47,368
Like 2008 Ryan Reynolds.
1072
01:06:48,674 --> 01:06:49,806
I don't know who that is.
1073
01:06:49,849 --> 01:06:51,329
You're hired.
1074
01:06:51,372 --> 01:06:52,417
Lucky me.
1075
01:06:52,460 --> 01:06:53,679
I like her!
1076
01:06:54,811 --> 01:06:56,116
And last, but not least...
1077
01:06:56,160 --> 01:06:57,291
Peter.
1078
01:06:58,684 --> 01:07:01,208
Am I getting
catfished here or...?
1079
01:07:01,252 --> 01:07:03,167
Any powers you wanna
tell us about? Any...?
1080
01:07:03,210 --> 01:07:04,821
No.
1081
01:07:04,864 --> 01:07:06,561
I don't have one.
1082
01:07:06,605 --> 01:07:07,911
Um, I just saw the ad.
1083
01:07:07,954 --> 01:07:09,738
No superpowers at all?
1084
01:07:09,782 --> 01:07:12,872
Uh, I have both
Type 1 and 2 Diabetes.
1085
01:07:13,394 --> 01:07:14,743
Ow! Oh!
1086
01:07:14,787 --> 01:07:15,919
That's all the diabetes.
1087
01:07:15,962 --> 01:07:17,268
Right? Yeah, you got 'em all.
1088
01:07:17,311 --> 01:07:19,226
If you find a Type 3,
let us know.
1089
01:07:19,748 --> 01:07:20,793
Yeah.
1090
01:07:20,837 --> 01:07:21,925
You're in.
1091
01:07:21,968 --> 01:07:23,491
- Yeah.
- Fuck!
1092
01:07:25,885 --> 01:07:27,278
It's fulfilling work.
1093
01:07:32,370 --> 01:07:33,675
Let's go!
1094
01:07:47,298 --> 01:07:49,909
This is Convoy 17
departing the Ice Box.
1095
01:07:49,953 --> 01:07:51,302
We are en route.
1096
01:07:58,918 --> 01:08:01,268
Peacetime makes people soft.
1097
01:08:02,879 --> 01:08:04,663
I was born into war.
1098
01:08:06,186 --> 01:08:07,361
Bred into it.
1099
01:08:08,493 --> 01:08:10,277
Okay.
1100
01:08:10,321 --> 01:08:12,671
What's the most pain
you've ever felt?
1101
01:08:14,629 --> 01:08:15,892
These restraints are pretty...
1102
01:08:15,935 --> 01:08:17,806
People think
they understand pain.
1103
01:08:17,850 --> 01:08:19,286
They have no concept of it
1104
01:08:19,330 --> 01:08:21,288
beyond their own
worst experience.
1105
01:08:22,899 --> 01:08:26,076
5 years old. That's what?
1106
01:08:26,119 --> 01:08:27,686
A bee sting.
1107
01:08:27,729 --> 01:08:28,861
Oh, yeah.
1108
01:08:28,905 --> 01:08:31,429
20 years old, shrapnel.
1109
01:08:31,472 --> 01:08:34,171
40 years old, disease.
1110
01:08:34,214 --> 01:08:38,784
Maybe the kind that leaves you
more machine than man.
1111
01:08:38,827 --> 01:08:40,227
Yeah, getting old's
not for sissies.
1112
01:08:40,264 --> 01:08:41,918
That's what my
Grandma Ginny used to...
1113
01:08:41,961 --> 01:08:43,136
I've got a list.
1114
01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:45,878
We're gonna work down it.
1115
01:08:46,574 --> 01:08:47,575
Together.
1116
01:08:48,750 --> 01:08:51,797
Number one,
I'm gonna bend something.
1117
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:54,147
Something that was not
meant to bend.
1118
01:08:54,191 --> 01:08:55,342
I'm gonna stop you right there
1119
01:08:55,366 --> 01:08:56,691
because I'm not gonna
make it to two.
1120
01:08:56,715 --> 01:08:58,021
I won't even make it to one.
1121
01:08:58,064 --> 01:08:59,805
I don't do well with pain,
you know.
1122
01:08:59,848 --> 01:09:02,199
If I stub my toe,
I'm done for the day.
1123
01:09:02,242 --> 01:09:04,636
I cried when they
canceled Felicity.
1124
01:09:04,679 --> 01:09:06,527
When I get really scared,
I get nervous erections.
1125
01:09:06,551 --> 01:09:07,944
I have one right now.
1126
01:09:07,987 --> 01:09:09,554
Don't look.
It'll only make it worse.
1127
01:09:09,597 --> 01:09:10,729
I don't want you to hurt me,
1128
01:09:10,772 --> 01:09:12,949
and I'll tell you
anything you wanna know.
1129
01:09:13,950 --> 01:09:16,082
Except for where they are.
1130
01:09:16,126 --> 01:09:17,407
Russell's in a convoy
heading southbound
1131
01:09:17,431 --> 01:09:18,824
on Gerry Duggan Parkway.
1132
01:09:18,867 --> 01:09:20,193
The monster's with them.
I wouldn't fuck with him.
1133
01:09:20,217 --> 01:09:21,696
You all know the plan.
1134
01:09:21,740 --> 01:09:23,481
Intercept the convoy,
1135
01:09:23,524 --> 01:09:25,526
grab the boy.
But not inappropriately!
1136
01:09:25,570 --> 01:09:26,919
You know what,
1137
01:09:26,963 --> 01:09:28,486
I wouldn't fuck with
Deadpool either.
1138
01:09:28,529 --> 01:09:30,662
Because he's built a team.
He's unstoppable.
1139
01:09:30,705 --> 01:09:33,404
He has an ass pen.
He'll stab you with it.
1140
01:09:33,447 --> 01:09:36,059
Watch out for this guy, Cable!
1141
01:09:36,102 --> 01:09:39,366
He's very short, 5'11".
Not like in the comics.
1142
01:09:39,410 --> 01:09:42,500
And if we succeed,
we all go home early.
1143
01:09:42,543 --> 01:09:44,623
So if you go after
them, Cable, I warn you...
1144
01:09:45,416 --> 01:09:47,113
there's a wind advisory
in effect.
1145
01:09:58,255 --> 01:09:59,895
A little turbulent up here.
1146
01:10:07,264 --> 01:10:09,048
I don't know much
about this Cable fella...
1147
01:10:09,092 --> 01:10:10,484
but I guarantee he hasn't killed
1148
01:10:10,528 --> 01:10:12,269
as many people as melanoma has.
1149
01:10:13,661 --> 01:10:15,054
We're getting close!
1150
01:10:15,098 --> 01:10:16,795
As a former X-Man...
1151
01:10:16,838 --> 01:10:18,753
- Trainee.
- Thank you, Bedlam.
1152
01:10:18,797 --> 01:10:21,147
I was always appalled
by the blatant sexism
1153
01:10:21,191 --> 01:10:22,801
in the group's name.
1154
01:10:22,844 --> 01:10:24,890
X-Men! Men!
1155
01:10:24,933 --> 01:10:27,936
The point is, our group
will be forward thinking.
1156
01:10:27,980 --> 01:10:29,286
Gender neutral.
1157
01:10:29,329 --> 01:10:31,636
From now on,
we'll be known as...
1158
01:10:33,899 --> 01:10:35,248
X-Force.
1159
01:10:35,292 --> 01:10:37,076
Isn't that a little derivative?
1160
01:10:37,120 --> 01:10:39,513
I don't recall asking
your opinion, Peter!
1161
01:10:40,775 --> 01:10:42,212
That wasn't me.
1162
01:10:49,262 --> 01:10:51,612
Hang the laundry out
at 1,300 feet...
1163
01:10:51,656 --> 01:10:53,484
intercept the convoy,
and grab the boy.
1164
01:10:53,527 --> 01:10:54,635
Let's bring on
the carnage, baby!
1165
01:10:54,659 --> 01:10:56,530
Get me on the ground,
watch me go!
1166
01:10:56,574 --> 01:10:57,705
Yeah!
1167
01:10:57,749 --> 01:10:59,446
I can't wait to kill!
1168
01:10:59,490 --> 01:11:02,232
Hey! Hey! Hey!
1169
01:11:02,275 --> 01:11:04,973
I just wanna say
how proud I am of this team.
1170
01:11:05,017 --> 01:11:07,889
You know, you guys look amazing!
1171
01:11:07,933 --> 01:11:10,805
Vanisher, I have no doubt
you look amazing too.
1172
01:11:10,849 --> 01:11:11,980
This is the family
1173
01:11:12,024 --> 01:11:13,704
that I've always dreamed
of having and I...
1174
01:11:14,461 --> 01:11:15,549
Ah, shit.
1175
01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:18,857
I just get a little choked up
sometimes.
1176
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:20,728
I hate to interrupt,
but is anybody nervous
1177
01:11:20,772 --> 01:11:22,121
about the high winds?
1178
01:11:22,165 --> 01:11:23,514
- Gary.
- My name's Peter.
1179
01:11:23,557 --> 01:11:25,472
I realize that you're
new to this, but relax.
1180
01:11:25,516 --> 01:11:27,170
You've been chosen
by a higher power.
1181
01:11:27,213 --> 01:11:29,520
- Did he just call himself God?
- I think he did.
1182
01:11:29,563 --> 01:11:31,130
- I'd like to go home.
- And I'd like...
1183
01:11:31,174 --> 01:11:33,698
the McRib to be available
year round,
1184
01:11:33,741 --> 01:11:35,569
but sometimes dreams
don't come true.
1185
01:11:35,613 --> 01:11:37,789
I spent 10 years
in Special Forces.
1186
01:11:37,832 --> 01:11:38,983
You think we didn't
jump out of the plane
1187
01:11:39,007 --> 01:11:40,966
because of a light breeze?
1188
01:11:41,009 --> 01:11:43,273
You're in this shit now,
Mustache!
1189
01:11:43,316 --> 01:11:45,294
I'm only yelling
to impress the other guys.
1190
01:11:45,318 --> 01:11:47,625
I'd never let anything
happen to you, Sugarbear.
1191
01:11:47,668 --> 01:11:49,888
Leonard, hit it!
1192
01:11:58,592 --> 01:12:00,638
Go! Go! Go!
1193
01:12:36,326 --> 01:12:37,762
Let's get some!
1194
01:12:37,805 --> 01:12:38,980
Whoo!
1195
01:12:39,024 --> 01:12:40,199
Oh, yeah!
1196
01:12:40,243 --> 01:12:43,071
Convoy, 12 o'clock!
On my command!
1197
01:12:44,116 --> 01:12:45,596
Deploy! Oh, hey now!
1198
01:12:45,639 --> 01:12:46,901
Whoa!
1199
01:12:52,168 --> 01:12:54,082
Little off course here.
1200
01:12:56,259 --> 01:12:59,087
Holy mommy fucking shit!
1201
01:12:59,827 --> 01:13:01,264
Ah, there they are.
1202
01:13:01,307 --> 01:13:04,919
Look at these gorgeous
sons of bitches.
1203
01:13:04,963 --> 01:13:06,878
Oh, yeah! That's right, Bedlam!
1204
01:13:11,970 --> 01:13:16,235
No! Tripping
motherfucking billies!
1205
01:13:16,279 --> 01:13:19,369
Shatterstar. Okay, you got this.
1206
01:13:20,152 --> 01:13:21,197
Left!
1207
01:13:21,240 --> 01:13:22,589
Left!
1208
01:13:22,633 --> 01:13:24,896
You'd have to be insane
to take off in this.
1209
01:13:24,939 --> 01:13:27,159
No, stage left, you idiot!
1210
01:13:31,076 --> 01:13:32,599
Well, I guess we found something
1211
01:13:32,643 --> 01:13:33,731
you're not better at.
1212
01:13:35,950 --> 01:13:37,256
Vanisher.
1213
01:13:37,300 --> 01:13:39,084
Maybe the wind can't blow
what it can't see.
1214
01:13:42,218 --> 01:13:43,654
Oh! Really?
1215
01:13:43,697 --> 01:13:46,047
All right,
we could do this with four.
1216
01:13:46,091 --> 01:13:49,094
Sugarbear. You got this, buddy!
1217
01:13:49,137 --> 01:13:51,227
That's the stuff!
That's the X-Force spirit!
1218
01:13:52,445 --> 01:13:54,534
Never underestimate
a man with a mustache!
1219
01:13:54,578 --> 01:13:56,144
Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.
1220
01:13:56,188 --> 01:13:57,363
We did it!
1221
01:13:57,407 --> 01:13:58,973
You're a goddamn superhero, you!
1222
01:13:59,017 --> 01:14:00,105
X-Force!
1223
01:14:00,714 --> 01:14:01,802
X-Force.
1224
01:14:06,198 --> 01:14:08,069
Oh!
1225
01:14:11,769 --> 01:14:12,813
Peter.
1226
01:14:12,857 --> 01:14:14,162
I got you, buddy!
1227
01:14:14,206 --> 01:14:15,401
You're gonna be fine!
This is not good, man!
1228
01:14:15,425 --> 01:14:17,731
You got this, big guy!
Here we go, Peter!
1229
01:14:17,775 --> 01:14:19,255
Look at me.
We're X-Force, right?
1230
01:14:19,298 --> 01:14:21,387
- Yeah, we're X-Force.
- We're X-Force.
1231
01:14:25,435 --> 01:14:27,480
Oh, my God! What the fuck?
1232
01:14:27,524 --> 01:14:29,526
Fucking acidic vomit!
1233
01:14:31,092 --> 01:14:33,878
Oh, God! I'm gonna throw up
in my mask.
1234
01:14:36,968 --> 01:14:39,362
Okay, I'm over the convoy.
1235
01:14:39,405 --> 01:14:41,842
Where did the rest
of the team land?
1236
01:14:41,886 --> 01:14:43,540
Good news and bad news.
1237
01:14:43,583 --> 01:14:46,717
Bad news is
the whole team is dead.
1238
01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:48,066
The good news is,
1239
01:14:48,109 --> 01:14:49,937
I don't think anyone's
gonna miss Shatterstar.
1240
01:14:49,981 --> 01:14:53,332
He was a bit of a prick.
Oh, but Paul!
1241
01:14:53,376 --> 01:14:54,377
Peter!
1242
01:14:54,420 --> 01:14:55,900
Peter, I'm gonna miss him most.
1243
01:14:55,943 --> 01:14:57,075
But there is a slight chance
1244
01:14:57,118 --> 01:14:58,468
Vanisher could make it.
1245
01:14:58,511 --> 01:15:01,122
Nope, no chance. He's dead.
1246
01:15:01,166 --> 01:15:02,341
The whole team?
1247
01:15:02,385 --> 01:15:04,256
Only the main ones.
We're still good.
1248
01:15:04,300 --> 01:15:05,562
Fuck, you are dumb.
1249
01:15:05,605 --> 01:15:07,259
Whoever planned this stunt's
1250
01:15:07,303 --> 01:15:09,479
been smoking a lot jazz cabbage.
1251
01:15:09,522 --> 01:15:10,654
I'll tell you that much.
1252
01:15:10,697 --> 01:15:12,351
That's pretty obvious!
1253
01:15:12,395 --> 01:15:14,135
Looking good, Vanisher.
1254
01:15:23,971 --> 01:15:25,843
They're headed into the tunnel.
1255
01:15:26,844 --> 01:15:28,324
I'm that kid's only hope,
1256
01:15:28,367 --> 01:15:30,238
so sit tight
and wait for my word.
1257
01:15:30,978 --> 01:15:32,284
Whatever.
1258
01:15:32,328 --> 01:15:33,851
We're gonna lose 'em.
I'm dropping in.
1259
01:15:33,894 --> 01:15:36,288
Uh, that's
a negative, sole survivor.
1260
01:15:36,332 --> 01:15:38,856
Luck is not a superpower!
We are so fucked!
1261
01:15:38,899 --> 01:15:41,989
No, we most certainly
are not fucked.
1262
01:15:45,079 --> 01:15:47,734
Seriously, I don't get it!
1263
01:15:47,778 --> 01:15:50,258
What, you shoot luck lasers
out of your eyes?
1264
01:15:52,435 --> 01:15:54,262
It's just it's hard to picture.
1265
01:15:54,306 --> 01:15:56,395
And certainly
not very cinematic.
1266
01:15:59,093 --> 01:16:00,704
I mean, luck?
1267
01:16:00,747 --> 01:16:03,315
What coked out,
glass pipe-sucking
1268
01:16:03,359 --> 01:16:04,708
freakshow comic book artist...
1269
01:16:04,751 --> 01:16:06,405
came up
with that little chestnut?
1270
01:16:06,449 --> 01:16:08,712
Probably a guy
who can't draw feet!
1271
01:16:19,810 --> 01:16:23,117
Once again, it all falls
on my shoulders.
1272
01:16:23,161 --> 01:16:24,399
It's why I'm cursed to be
a solo act.
1273
01:16:24,423 --> 01:16:25,444
- Wander the Earth...
- I'm in.
1274
01:16:25,468 --> 01:16:26,991
I'm sorry, what did you say?
1275
01:16:27,034 --> 01:16:28,166
I'm in.
1276
01:16:28,209 --> 01:16:30,081
How in the fuck
are you in already?
1277
01:16:30,516 --> 01:16:32,344
Oh, shit.
1278
01:16:32,388 --> 01:16:33,606
It's Cable. 12 o'clock.
1279
01:16:33,650 --> 01:16:34,781
Okay.
1280
01:16:34,825 --> 01:16:37,262
New plan. Use all of your
imaginary powers
1281
01:16:37,305 --> 01:16:40,047
to stop Cable
from killing that kid.
1282
01:16:40,091 --> 01:16:41,701
I'm coming up on your six.
1283
01:16:49,970 --> 01:16:52,016
That gun is amazing!
1284
01:17:01,155 --> 01:17:03,201
Hey! Asshole!
1285
01:17:03,244 --> 01:17:04,855
Where is he? I can't see him.
1286
01:17:04,898 --> 01:17:06,639
He's on top of you.
1287
01:17:06,683 --> 01:17:08,554
He's tearing you open!
1288
01:17:08,598 --> 01:17:10,513
He's going in through the back!
1289
01:17:10,556 --> 01:17:11,688
Oh, God, he's inside!
1290
01:17:11,731 --> 01:17:13,037
You hear yourself, right?
1291
01:17:13,080 --> 01:17:14,536
Accidental double entendres!
1292
01:17:14,560 --> 01:17:17,084
Russell! Russell Collins!
1293
01:17:17,128 --> 01:17:19,043
Hands off that kid, John Connor!
1294
01:17:24,048 --> 01:17:25,049
No, no, no!
1295
01:17:29,401 --> 01:17:30,489
Shit!
1296
01:17:52,468 --> 01:17:54,382
Two can play that game!
1297
01:17:56,515 --> 01:17:58,343
Got it! No, I don't.
1298
01:17:59,344 --> 01:18:00,388
Showtime, mama!
1299
01:18:00,432 --> 01:18:02,042
Lady Luck, take the wheel.
1300
01:18:39,863 --> 01:18:41,667
I'd ask who you are, but
you'll be dead in a second.
1301
01:18:41,691 --> 01:18:43,780
I'm Domino, and doubtful.
1302
01:19:00,361 --> 01:19:01,362
Hang in there, Doms!
1303
01:19:02,668 --> 01:19:04,365
Oh, this is really hard.
1304
01:19:16,639 --> 01:19:18,039
And give me back
my Skee-Ball token.
1305
01:19:21,557 --> 01:19:23,080
- You're doing great.
- X-Force.
1306
01:19:25,038 --> 01:19:27,084
I guess dubstep never dies.
1307
01:19:31,349 --> 01:19:32,393
Whoo!
1308
01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:42,055
You killed Black Tom,
you racist son of a bitch!
1309
01:19:44,841 --> 01:19:45,972
That's unfortunate.
1310
01:19:49,106 --> 01:19:50,498
We got no brakes!
1311
01:19:50,542 --> 01:19:51,761
Figure it out!
1312
01:19:56,156 --> 01:19:57,680
There's nothing I can't kill.
1313
01:20:00,508 --> 01:20:03,033
Well, as Scoutmaster Kevin
used to say...
1314
01:20:03,076 --> 01:20:05,426
"There's a first time
for everything, son."
1315
01:20:07,124 --> 01:20:08,691
Give me your best shot,
One-Eyed Willy.
1316
01:20:23,575 --> 01:20:25,490
Those bullets were, like,
super fast.
1317
01:20:26,056 --> 01:20:27,057
Here we go.
1318
01:20:28,145 --> 01:20:30,408
Domino, mind slowing us down?
1319
01:20:30,451 --> 01:20:32,584
Here goes nothing.
1320
01:21:03,746 --> 01:21:05,486
Knock, knock.
1321
01:21:12,015 --> 01:21:13,059
That's my boy.
1322
01:21:19,457 --> 01:21:20,676
Holy...
1323
01:21:30,903 --> 01:21:32,557
I'll be first to admit...
1324
01:21:32,600 --> 01:21:34,951
this did not go
according to plan.
1325
01:21:36,300 --> 01:21:37,867
I'll also be the first
to admit that
1326
01:21:37,910 --> 01:21:39,782
that plan was written in crayon.
1327
01:21:39,825 --> 01:21:43,089
Looks like Russell found
a new friend. Jelly.
1328
01:21:43,133 --> 01:21:44,743
Turns out Domino's
a bit of a badass,
1329
01:21:44,787 --> 01:21:47,703
and maybe,
possibly mildly lucky.
1330
01:21:47,746 --> 01:21:51,010
But Cable? Ugh.
That guy's in a mood.
1331
01:21:51,054 --> 01:21:52,272
A mood that is
1332
01:21:52,316 --> 01:21:54,100
about to get
significantly worse.
1333
01:22:17,863 --> 01:22:20,300
Something is so terribly,
terribly wrong.
1334
01:22:23,260 --> 01:22:24,740
Oh.
1335
01:22:26,524 --> 01:22:28,178
Oh, God, that hurt.
1336
01:22:28,221 --> 01:22:29,832
Suck it, Mel Gibson.
1337
01:22:33,400 --> 01:22:34,488
Russell.
1338
01:22:37,187 --> 01:22:38,275
Russell!
1339
01:22:38,884 --> 01:22:40,973
Russ, where are ya?
1340
01:22:44,629 --> 01:22:46,805
Russell. Russell, you're okay!
1341
01:22:46,849 --> 01:22:50,287
Oh, thank God. Oh, my God!
1342
01:22:50,330 --> 01:22:51,679
Juggernaut!
1343
01:22:52,855 --> 01:22:54,900
I thought that was you!
1344
01:22:54,944 --> 01:22:57,773
I should've worn my white pants.
1345
01:22:57,816 --> 01:23:01,646
You probably get this a lot,
but I am a huge fan.
1346
01:23:01,689 --> 01:23:04,997
Uncanny X-Men 183, Thor 411,
1347
01:23:05,041 --> 01:23:06,390
X-Men Unlimited 12.
1348
01:23:06,433 --> 01:23:08,566
You know, it has always been
a dream of mine...
1349
01:23:08,609 --> 01:23:10,394
to see my face
reflected in your helmet...
1350
01:23:10,437 --> 01:23:12,657
as you charge at me
with murderous intent.
1351
01:23:12,700 --> 01:23:14,485
I don't mean right now.
1352
01:23:14,528 --> 01:23:16,443
I'm gonna rip you in half now.
1353
01:23:16,487 --> 01:23:18,837
That is such
a Juggernaut thing to say.
1354
01:23:22,885 --> 01:23:26,932
Oh, my God!
I can't feel my legs.
1355
01:23:26,976 --> 01:23:28,064
I can't feel...
1356
01:23:29,021 --> 01:23:30,544
Oh, no, they're right here.
1357
01:23:31,371 --> 01:23:33,156
Got 'em. God, Russell.
1358
01:23:33,199 --> 01:23:35,549
I have a mission.
1359
01:23:35,593 --> 01:23:37,160
To get my revenge.
1360
01:23:37,203 --> 01:23:39,510
I'm going to burn
that headmaster alive.
1361
01:23:39,553 --> 01:23:41,773
You're not the revenge type.
1362
01:23:41,817 --> 01:23:43,340
Take it from a friend.
1363
01:23:43,383 --> 01:23:47,213
Friend? You were sick,
and I protected you.
1364
01:23:47,257 --> 01:23:49,433
You said it yourself.
1365
01:23:49,476 --> 01:23:52,175
"I'm not your friend.
Find someone stronger."
1366
01:23:52,218 --> 01:23:53,654
So I did.
1367
01:23:55,178 --> 01:23:57,354
Russell, I couldn't
protect you back then.
1368
01:23:57,397 --> 01:24:01,401
But I can now. What do you
want me to say, huh?
1369
01:24:01,445 --> 01:24:03,316
"I care about you"?
'Cause goddamn it,
1370
01:24:03,360 --> 01:24:05,797
I care about you, Russell.
1371
01:24:05,841 --> 01:24:07,930
What's Juggernaut got
that I don't have?
1372
01:24:07,973 --> 01:24:11,672
Don't you say legs!
I know you're gonna say legs!
1373
01:24:11,716 --> 01:24:14,501
- Legs!
- Still hurts to hear out loud!
1374
01:24:16,677 --> 01:24:19,637
What is that?
That's not a real rope!
1375
01:24:19,680 --> 01:24:21,987
You get back here, young man!
1376
01:24:22,945 --> 01:24:24,424
Doms!
1377
01:24:24,468 --> 01:24:26,687
Doms, get me
out of here, please.
1378
01:24:26,731 --> 01:24:29,125
Use my arms as backpack straps.
1379
01:24:31,867 --> 01:24:32,955
I think we may have found
1380
01:24:32,998 --> 01:24:35,174
your cosmic reason
for being here.
1381
01:24:35,218 --> 01:24:37,002
I'm pretty sure this isn't it.
1382
01:24:37,046 --> 01:24:38,308
X-Force.
1383
01:24:51,643 --> 01:24:53,471
No child is hopeless.
1384
01:24:53,514 --> 01:24:56,996
- Don't give up on the boy.
- How could he just walk away?
1385
01:24:57,040 --> 01:24:59,738
It was the coldness in his eyes.
1386
01:24:59,782 --> 01:25:01,348
You should've heard it.
1387
01:25:03,263 --> 01:25:05,570
I guess family
really is an F-word.
1388
01:25:06,484 --> 01:25:08,704
Rub my legs, Mama.
1389
01:25:08,747 --> 01:25:10,140
Why would I rub your legs?
1390
01:25:10,183 --> 01:25:13,099
Please, they hurt.
I have growing pains.
1391
01:25:16,233 --> 01:25:17,887
What in the...
1392
01:25:17,930 --> 01:25:20,672
Why is your hand so tiny again?
1393
01:25:20,716 --> 01:25:22,543
That's not my hand.
1394
01:25:22,587 --> 01:25:24,937
Oh! Mary, mother of Joseph!
1395
01:25:24,981 --> 01:25:26,896
That was nice for me.
1396
01:25:26,939 --> 01:25:29,768
Wade! I heard what happened
with the convoy and...
1397
01:25:34,207 --> 01:25:36,514
Why wouldn't you cover that up?
1398
01:25:36,557 --> 01:25:38,777
A warrior has nothing
to be ashamed of.
1399
01:25:38,821 --> 01:25:40,779
Yeah, but you do. Look at you.
1400
01:25:40,823 --> 01:25:42,825
You're just
straight shirt-cocking it,
1401
01:25:42,868 --> 01:25:44,348
toddler-style.
1402
01:25:44,391 --> 01:25:46,350
Oh, yeah. Full Winnie the Pooh.
1403
01:25:46,393 --> 01:25:48,395
The hell's happening?
Describe it.
1404
01:25:48,439 --> 01:25:49,721
I wouldn't ask him to do that,
if I were you.
1405
01:25:49,745 --> 01:25:51,355
- It's like, um...
- Here we go.
1406
01:25:51,398 --> 01:25:52,680
It's like he was
giving birth anally,
1407
01:25:52,704 --> 01:25:54,227
but they quit halfway through.
1408
01:25:54,271 --> 01:25:55,422
They got the legs out,
and they said,
1409
01:25:55,446 --> 01:25:56,795
"You know what, I'm done."
1410
01:25:56,839 --> 01:25:58,101
Happy?
1411
01:25:58,144 --> 01:25:59,252
It's like he's a Muppet
from the waist down.
1412
01:25:59,276 --> 01:26:00,451
But this time, you can see
1413
01:26:00,494 --> 01:26:01,931
the Muppet's dick.
1414
01:26:01,974 --> 01:26:03,497
Grover's got a cock
the size of a twig.
1415
01:26:03,541 --> 01:26:04,736
Mr. Weasel, I can
no longer be double-parked.
1416
01:26:04,760 --> 01:26:06,360
I've had three tickets already.
1417
01:26:07,850 --> 01:26:10,635
No, no, no, DP, not again!
1418
01:26:10,678 --> 01:26:13,290
This has happened before?
1419
01:26:13,333 --> 01:26:14,833
Jesus! Either vomit or don't.
1420
01:26:14,857 --> 01:26:16,162
The indecision is killing me.
1421
01:26:16,206 --> 01:26:18,077
Why couldn't God
take my hearing?
1422
01:26:19,687 --> 01:26:21,864
Oh. Wow!
1423
01:26:21,907 --> 01:26:23,604
Cool your pits.
They're growing back.
1424
01:26:23,648 --> 01:26:25,606
I'm talking about your face.
1425
01:26:25,650 --> 01:26:27,565
I've never seen you
without your mask before.
1426
01:26:27,608 --> 01:26:29,828
- Jesus Christ!
- Looks like an avocado.
1427
01:26:29,872 --> 01:26:31,787
Your legs, though, they're cute.
1428
01:26:31,830 --> 01:26:33,614
You wanna borrow
a pair of pants?
1429
01:26:35,181 --> 01:26:36,792
I'm glad everybody dropped by.
1430
01:26:36,835 --> 01:26:39,533
You must be wondering
why I didn't call you here.
1431
01:26:39,577 --> 01:26:41,187
I'll tell you why I'm here.
1432
01:26:41,231 --> 01:26:43,581
"The Time Traveler's Wife's"
husband...
1433
01:26:43,624 --> 01:26:44,863
beat me within
an inch of my life.
1434
01:26:44,887 --> 01:26:46,236
He was torturing me!
1435
01:26:46,279 --> 01:26:49,152
But all I told him was
everything he wanted to know.
1436
01:26:49,195 --> 01:26:51,850
So, I'm here to help us gear up.
1437
01:26:51,894 --> 01:26:53,045
So we can go after him
without me.
1438
01:26:53,069 --> 01:26:54,461
No!
1439
01:26:54,505 --> 01:26:55,854
I'm doing this alone.
1440
01:26:55,898 --> 01:26:57,029
The Juggernaut
1441
01:26:57,073 --> 01:26:58,509
- will kill you all.
- Fair enough.
1442
01:26:58,552 --> 01:27:00,443
I just need a couple of
hours to get some legs
1443
01:27:00,467 --> 01:27:01,599
- under me.
- What will you do?
1444
01:27:01,642 --> 01:27:02,968
I don't care
what the kid did to me.
1445
01:27:02,992 --> 01:27:04,341
I ain't letting Cable
get to him,
1446
01:27:04,384 --> 01:27:05,753
even if I have to
teabag him to death.
1447
01:27:05,777 --> 01:27:07,823
It's really just a sip of tea
at this point.
1448
01:27:07,866 --> 01:27:09,650
Zip it, black Black Widow!
I'm flowing.
1449
01:27:09,694 --> 01:27:10,758
The first order of business is
1450
01:27:10,782 --> 01:27:12,175
to get me in front of Cable...
1451
01:27:12,218 --> 01:27:13,630
so I can pull all the fucking
blood out of his body...
1452
01:27:13,654 --> 01:27:16,005
and fashion his bones
into holiday jewelry.
1453
01:27:16,048 --> 01:27:17,876
Then, I'm gonna take his skin...
1454
01:27:17,920 --> 01:27:20,966
and stretch it out
over a homemade mating drum.
1455
01:27:22,576 --> 01:27:24,176
He's standing right
behind you, isn't he?
1456
01:27:32,848 --> 01:27:34,850
What in the ass?
1457
01:27:34,893 --> 01:27:38,201
Is this apartment listed
on Tinder? Grindr?
1458
01:27:38,244 --> 01:27:41,291
You picked the wrong shithole
to fuck, future boy.
1459
01:27:41,334 --> 01:27:43,859
Ugh. Is that really necessary?
1460
01:27:46,122 --> 01:27:48,907
No. It's his "Basic Instinct."
1461
01:27:48,951 --> 01:27:50,691
What can we help you with?
1462
01:27:50,735 --> 01:27:52,389
I'm here to proposition you.
1463
01:27:53,912 --> 01:27:55,000
Oh, boy!
1464
01:27:55,044 --> 01:27:56,108
He's really teeing it up,
isn't he?
1465
01:27:56,132 --> 01:27:58,264
Who gets to make the first joke?
1466
01:27:58,308 --> 01:27:59,676
I think we should all do it
at the same time.
1467
01:27:59,700 --> 01:28:00,745
Good call.
1468
01:28:00,788 --> 01:28:02,355
For $45, you get sucky-suck.
1469
01:28:02,399 --> 01:28:03,637
I only do over
the pants, mouth stuff.
1470
01:28:03,661 --> 01:28:04,792
Fuck!
1471
01:28:04,836 --> 01:28:05,944
The Proposition has a wonderful
1472
01:28:05,968 --> 01:28:07,273
Guy Pearce performance.
1473
01:28:07,317 --> 01:28:09,077
Wait, wait, wait!
I wanna do mine over.
1474
01:28:09,101 --> 01:28:11,712
- Give us the line again.
- I need your help!
1475
01:28:11,756 --> 01:28:14,063
Trust me, I'm even less happy
about this than you are...
1476
01:28:14,106 --> 01:28:17,240
but you unleashed
the Juggernaut, you dumb cunt!
1477
01:28:17,283 --> 01:28:19,677
I can't bring him down alone.
1478
01:28:19,720 --> 01:28:21,244
So here we are.
1479
01:28:22,593 --> 01:28:24,377
We're no longer
accepting applications
1480
01:28:24,421 --> 01:28:25,857
for X-Force, unfortunately.
1481
01:28:25,901 --> 01:28:27,337
Even if we were...
1482
01:28:27,380 --> 01:28:29,054
there's a wind advisory
in effect until at least...
1483
01:28:29,078 --> 01:28:30,340
We don't have a lot of time.
1484
01:28:30,383 --> 01:28:32,124
Your friend's about
to make his first kill.
1485
01:28:32,168 --> 01:28:33,691
No offense,
but if you know so much...
1486
01:28:33,734 --> 01:28:36,607
why not travel back to when
he was a baby, kill him then?
1487
01:28:36,650 --> 01:28:37,714
Or better yet, head back
a little further,
1488
01:28:37,738 --> 01:28:38,826
kill baby Hitler.
1489
01:28:38,870 --> 01:28:40,828
I use a device
to slide through time.
1490
01:28:40,872 --> 01:28:43,527
The longer I travel,
the harder it is to control.
1491
01:28:43,570 --> 01:28:46,182
I got two charges:
one to get me here,
1492
01:28:46,225 --> 01:28:47,400
one to get me home.
1493
01:28:47,444 --> 01:28:48,619
Well.
1494
01:28:48,662 --> 01:28:50,577
That's just lazy writing.
1495
01:28:50,621 --> 01:28:51,903
Your boy's
gonna kill the headmaster
1496
01:28:51,927 --> 01:28:53,493
of the orphanage tonight.
1497
01:28:53,537 --> 01:28:55,669
After that,
he gets a real taste for it.
1498
01:28:55,713 --> 01:28:58,455
Like 10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker!
1499
01:28:58,498 --> 01:29:00,500
So he keeps killing...
1500
01:29:00,544 --> 01:29:02,024
and killing, and killing,
1501
01:29:02,067 --> 01:29:03,590
and killing.
1502
01:29:03,634 --> 01:29:06,854
Until one day, he kills
the wrong fucking people.
1503
01:29:09,422 --> 01:29:10,815
My people.
1504
01:29:14,732 --> 01:29:15,994
Relax.
1505
01:29:16,038 --> 01:29:18,431
I'm retrieving something
from my utility bag.
1506
01:29:18,475 --> 01:29:21,043
It's a goddamn fanny pack...
1507
01:29:21,086 --> 01:29:23,697
and you know it,
you sick son of a bitch!
1508
01:29:23,741 --> 01:29:25,395
The difference is night and day.
1509
01:29:27,223 --> 01:29:29,486
You remind me of my wife.
1510
01:29:29,529 --> 01:29:31,009
I'm sorry.
1511
01:29:31,053 --> 01:29:32,160
I said, "You remind me
of my wife."
1512
01:29:32,184 --> 01:29:33,544
No, I'm sorry
that you said that...
1513
01:29:33,577 --> 01:29:36,362
while making heavy eye contact
and applying lip balm.
1514
01:29:36,406 --> 01:29:37,581
She always struggled.
1515
01:29:38,712 --> 01:29:40,149
But she was funny...
1516
01:29:40,192 --> 01:29:43,543
and filtered her pain
through the prism of humor.
1517
01:29:43,587 --> 01:29:45,806
Something I could never master.
1518
01:29:46,720 --> 01:29:48,940
It was my fault she died.
1519
01:29:50,550 --> 01:29:54,206
It was my job
to stop people like him.
1520
01:29:54,250 --> 01:29:56,208
I came close a few times.
1521
01:30:00,430 --> 01:30:02,084
He wasn't too happy about that.
1522
01:30:03,824 --> 01:30:05,000
He was trying to hurt me...
1523
01:30:05,043 --> 01:30:07,002
and he knew exactly
how to do it.
1524
01:30:11,049 --> 01:30:12,746
Blessed are the wicked
1525
01:30:12,790 --> 01:30:14,357
who are healed by my hand.
1526
01:30:17,490 --> 01:30:19,840
He came into my home...
1527
01:30:19,884 --> 01:30:22,756
and took the only thing
that made it a home.
1528
01:30:26,978 --> 01:30:28,327
Sound familiar?
1529
01:30:29,372 --> 01:30:31,026
- I'm sorry.
- Uh-huh.
1530
01:30:31,069 --> 01:30:32,723
No, I'm really sorry.
1531
01:30:34,942 --> 01:30:37,075
But that isn't Russell.
1532
01:30:37,119 --> 01:30:39,053
- It doesn't have to be him.
- If you knew what I knew...
1533
01:30:39,077 --> 01:30:41,079
Yeah, he's got anger issues...
1534
01:30:41,123 --> 01:30:42,689
maybe a small
learning disability...
1535
01:30:42,733 --> 01:30:44,126
splash of diabetes...
1536
01:30:44,169 --> 01:30:45,518
but nothing that can't be fixed.
1537
01:30:45,562 --> 01:30:47,216
If you could go back...
1538
01:30:47,259 --> 01:30:49,957
and stop the people that took
your girl, would you?
1539
01:30:50,219 --> 01:30:51,481
No.
1540
01:30:51,524 --> 01:30:53,265
I'd buy them all
a bouquet of hand jobs.
1541
01:30:53,309 --> 01:30:55,050
Of course I fucking would!
1542
01:30:55,833 --> 01:30:56,964
But I wouldn't kill a kid.
1543
01:30:57,008 --> 01:30:59,054
I'm not asking you
to kill a kid!
1544
01:30:59,097 --> 01:31:00,664
I'll kill the kid.
1545
01:31:00,707 --> 01:31:04,189
I'm asking you to save
hundreds of other kids.
1546
01:31:04,233 --> 01:31:06,583
Russell's gonna burn down
that orphanage.
1547
01:31:06,626 --> 01:31:08,672
And I can imagine
your dead girlfriend...
1548
01:31:08,715 --> 01:31:10,978
would want you to do
the right thing, wouldn't she?
1549
01:31:11,979 --> 01:31:15,157
So, what's it gonna be,
handsome?
1550
01:31:15,200 --> 01:31:16,941
Give me a chance to save him.
1551
01:31:16,984 --> 01:31:18,421
- What?
- You said...
1552
01:31:18,464 --> 01:31:20,138
once he kills someone,
he gets a taste for it.
1553
01:31:20,162 --> 01:31:22,512
If we can get to him
before that happens...
1554
01:31:22,555 --> 01:31:24,209
promise you'll give me a chance
1555
01:31:24,253 --> 01:31:26,124
to put him on a different path.
1556
01:31:26,168 --> 01:31:27,343
Define "chance."
1557
01:31:27,386 --> 01:31:28,624
I don't know.
How long does it take
1558
01:31:28,648 --> 01:31:30,017
to save someone's soul?
That's not...
1559
01:31:30,041 --> 01:31:31,303
I'll give you 30 seconds.
1560
01:31:31,347 --> 01:31:33,392
- What? No!
- Best I can do.
1561
01:31:33,436 --> 01:31:34,741
Take it or leave it.
1562
01:31:45,187 --> 01:31:46,666
He's doing it!
1563
01:31:46,710 --> 01:31:48,320
Look at the little fella.
He's doing it.
1564
01:31:48,364 --> 01:31:50,322
There he goes.
1565
01:31:50,366 --> 01:31:51,845
Jesus Christ!
1566
01:31:51,889 --> 01:31:53,369
Just shirt-cocking it.
1567
01:31:53,412 --> 01:31:55,327
Ugh.
1568
01:31:55,371 --> 01:31:56,731
There you go, little fella.
1569
01:31:57,460 --> 01:31:59,157
Go on, you're doing it!
1570
01:31:59,201 --> 01:32:02,073
My beautiful, hairless,
Twizzler-legged baby boy.
1571
01:32:04,249 --> 01:32:05,381
Christ!
1572
01:32:05,424 --> 01:32:07,122
That's disturbing.
1573
01:32:07,165 --> 01:32:08,558
30 seconds.
1574
01:32:13,954 --> 01:32:15,434
- Deal.
- Deal.
1575
01:32:21,875 --> 01:32:24,965
Man, that sucks they didn't
have anything in your size.
1576
01:32:25,009 --> 01:32:27,011
I really wanted to match,
you know?
1577
01:32:27,054 --> 01:32:29,100
Being a menacing team.
1578
01:32:29,144 --> 01:32:30,319
Oh, man, it sucks.
1579
01:32:30,362 --> 01:32:32,234
That was some
cold-ass shit, kid.
1580
01:32:33,626 --> 01:32:36,194
And that is just
the first five steps
1581
01:32:36,238 --> 01:32:37,935
to a prostate-assisted orgasm.
1582
01:32:38,849 --> 01:32:40,285
Where the hell are we going?
1583
01:32:40,329 --> 01:32:41,678
You said it yourself.
1584
01:32:41,721 --> 01:32:44,637
Nothing can stop the
Juggernaut. We need backup.
1585
01:32:44,681 --> 01:32:47,640
I will bathe in the blood
of your enemies.
1586
01:32:51,775 --> 01:32:53,385
Can you turn off the music?
1587
01:32:54,386 --> 01:32:56,519
You'll do no such thing.
1588
01:32:56,562 --> 01:32:58,434
Why don't you just say it
in an Indian accent?
1589
01:32:58,477 --> 01:33:00,218
- I'm sorry?
- Apology accepted.
1590
01:33:00,262 --> 01:33:02,351
This is a side of you
I do not like.
1591
01:33:02,394 --> 01:33:03,743
Let me guess,
1592
01:33:03,787 --> 01:33:05,286
some of your best friends
in the future are Indian.
1593
01:33:05,310 --> 01:33:06,572
What the hell are you...?
1594
01:33:06,616 --> 01:33:08,487
Once again, intolerance rears
its ugly head.
1595
01:33:08,531 --> 01:33:09,836
I am so sorry. It gets better.
1596
01:33:09,880 --> 01:33:11,447
I'm not a fucking racist, moron!
1597
01:33:11,490 --> 01:33:13,536
That's precisely
what a racist would say.
1598
01:33:13,579 --> 01:33:15,233
I'm with the old white guy
on this one.
1599
01:33:15,277 --> 01:33:16,539
And that's a twist.
1600
01:33:16,582 --> 01:33:18,105
When this is over...
1601
01:33:18,149 --> 01:33:20,040
I'm going to fuck you to death
with your own broken feet.
1602
01:33:20,064 --> 01:33:22,240
And a sexual predator, too.
That's rich.
1603
01:33:22,284 --> 01:33:23,676
I should have finished college.
1604
01:33:23,720 --> 01:33:24,871
So what exactly do you
1605
01:33:24,895 --> 01:33:25,959
do in the future, anyway, huh?
1606
01:33:25,983 --> 01:33:27,245
Some kind of soldier?
1607
01:33:27,289 --> 01:33:29,116
Yeah, something like that.
1608
01:33:29,160 --> 01:33:31,336
I was a soldier. Special Forces.
1609
01:33:31,380 --> 01:33:34,078
I bet 50 years from now,
we're bestest buddies.
1610
01:33:34,121 --> 01:33:36,123
50 years from now,
you're very dead.
1611
01:33:36,167 --> 01:33:38,561
Your entire generation fucked
this planet into a coma.
1612
01:33:38,604 --> 01:33:40,215
Boom!
1613
01:33:40,258 --> 01:33:41,520
Spoiler alert.
1614
01:33:42,739 --> 01:33:44,088
Planets.
1615
01:33:44,131 --> 01:33:45,698
Next time, Uber.
1616
01:33:45,742 --> 01:33:47,047
Here's a spoiler alert.
1617
01:33:48,223 --> 01:33:50,181
You're not a fucking hero.
1618
01:33:50,225 --> 01:33:54,272
You're just an annoying clown
dressed up as a sex toy.
1619
01:33:54,316 --> 01:33:55,510
Well, I got news for you.
1620
01:33:55,534 --> 01:33:56,883
My heart is in the right place.
1621
01:33:56,927 --> 01:33:58,450
Russell's not gonna kill anyone.
1622
01:33:58,494 --> 01:34:00,472
Because of me, he's gonna know
what real love looks like.
1623
01:34:00,496 --> 01:34:01,584
We're all going to die.
1624
01:34:01,627 --> 01:34:02,907
Because of you, I'll always know
1625
01:34:02,933 --> 01:34:04,891
what a grown man
with baby balls looks like.
1626
01:34:04,935 --> 01:34:07,329
I'm a grower, not a shower.
1627
01:34:07,372 --> 01:34:08,547
God, I wish this were a bus
1628
01:34:08,591 --> 01:34:09,785
where I could pull
the string and get out.
1629
01:34:09,809 --> 01:34:11,463
It's a good thing
Cable's not driving,
1630
01:34:11,507 --> 01:34:12,725
or you'd be in the back.
1631
01:34:12,769 --> 01:34:15,119
- I am in the back.
- Right here!
1632
01:34:33,268 --> 01:34:35,313
I made mistakes!
1633
01:34:35,357 --> 01:34:37,054
I wanna take them back!
1634
01:34:37,097 --> 01:34:40,057
You trusted me.
I took that trust...
1635
01:34:40,100 --> 01:34:41,537
and turned it into a glory hole
1636
01:34:41,580 --> 01:34:43,147
in an airport bathroom.
1637
01:34:43,190 --> 01:34:46,455
The one in Minneapolis.
You know the one.
1638
01:34:46,498 --> 01:34:49,109
But even you know I'm not
a complete piece of shit.
1639
01:34:49,153 --> 01:34:50,676
I was once an X-Man.
1640
01:34:50,720 --> 01:34:51,764
Trainee!
1641
01:34:56,421 --> 01:34:58,989
You're still using
my Velcro labels. Aw.
1642
01:34:59,032 --> 01:35:00,643
They do stick better than tape.
1643
01:35:00,686 --> 01:35:01,731
Hi, Wade!
1644
01:35:01,774 --> 01:35:03,210
Please don't.
1645
01:35:03,254 --> 01:35:05,648
Say whatever it is you're here
to say. Make it quick.
1646
01:35:05,691 --> 01:35:06,953
Right. Quick.
1647
01:35:06,997 --> 01:35:08,714
It's the kid.
Just like you, I let him down.
1648
01:35:08,738 --> 01:35:10,174
And just like me,
1649
01:35:10,217 --> 01:35:11,369
he's never had anyone
sacrifice anything for him...
1650
01:35:11,393 --> 01:35:12,413
because the whole world
wrote him off
1651
01:35:12,437 --> 01:35:13,873
as a piece of shit
a long time ago.
1652
01:35:13,917 --> 01:35:15,614
Look, he's teamed up
with the Juggernaut!
1653
01:35:15,658 --> 01:35:17,181
The Juggernaut!
1654
01:35:17,224 --> 01:35:18,985
Who's, like, my favorite
Marvel character ever...
1655
01:35:19,009 --> 01:35:21,228
And hi, Yukio! That was really
nice of you to say hi...
1656
01:35:21,272 --> 01:35:22,621
so I'm saying hi back.
1657
01:35:22,665 --> 01:35:24,057
You guys make
a super cute couple.
1658
01:35:24,101 --> 01:35:25,798
Yeah. Where was I?
1659
01:35:25,842 --> 01:35:27,713
Oh, yeah. You should never
meet your heroes...
1660
01:35:27,757 --> 01:35:29,454
because, honestly,
he's a bit of a dick!
1661
01:35:29,498 --> 01:35:31,338
And like a lot of dicks,
he's hard as a rock...
1662
01:35:31,369 --> 01:35:32,762
and causes nothing but problems!
1663
01:35:32,805 --> 01:35:35,678
Look, you can stop the
Juggernaut. I know you can.
1664
01:35:35,721 --> 01:35:38,942
Do you know what would happen
to me if I helped you?
1665
01:35:38,985 --> 01:35:41,074
I would be disgraced.
1666
01:35:41,118 --> 01:35:43,163
You are a criminal, a fugitive.
1667
01:35:43,207 --> 01:35:44,730
But worst of all...
1668
01:35:44,774 --> 01:35:46,515
you broke my heart, Wade.
1669
01:35:48,212 --> 01:35:49,431
Then you know what?
1670
01:35:49,474 --> 01:35:51,074
Your heart's in
the wrong place, big guy.
1671
01:35:52,129 --> 01:35:54,827
Doing the right thing
is sometimes messy...
1672
01:35:54,871 --> 01:35:58,265
and fucked up, and not
particularly convenient!
1673
01:35:58,309 --> 01:36:01,399
So stay here
in Chateau de Virgin...
1674
01:36:01,443 --> 01:36:03,575
while we go get our fuck on!
1675
01:36:06,752 --> 01:36:08,145
You're doing great.
1676
01:36:13,803 --> 01:36:15,346
So you wear that helmet because
1677
01:36:15,370 --> 01:36:17,110
your brother
tries to read your mind?
1678
01:36:17,154 --> 01:36:20,418
Yeah, but he's in
a wheelchair, so even-steven.
1679
01:36:20,462 --> 01:36:22,942
Someone's coming.
It's Russell, sir.
1680
01:36:22,986 --> 01:36:24,944
And he's not alone.
1681
01:36:24,988 --> 01:36:26,642
Secure the children.
1682
01:36:29,079 --> 01:36:31,821
They will not replace us.
1683
01:36:31,864 --> 01:36:34,650
What do you say
we go fuck some shit up?
1684
01:36:34,693 --> 01:36:38,523
"Let's fuck some shit up"
is my legal middle name.
1685
01:36:41,874 --> 01:36:44,486
Watch my back.
I've got the old man.
1686
01:36:44,529 --> 01:36:46,096
Amen, brother.
1687
01:36:52,624 --> 01:36:54,278
Time to make the chimichangas.
1688
01:36:54,321 --> 01:36:56,498
30 seconds.
1689
01:36:56,541 --> 01:36:59,065
I finally know why I'm here.
1690
01:36:59,109 --> 01:37:01,067
I was raised in this place.
1691
01:37:01,111 --> 01:37:03,374
Well, not raised.
I was tortured.
1692
01:37:03,418 --> 01:37:06,290
Wow! It's your cosmic reason
for being here.
1693
01:37:06,333 --> 01:37:07,639
- Shall we?
- This is gonna be fun.
1694
01:37:07,683 --> 01:37:08,771
Yeah!
1695
01:37:08,814 --> 01:37:10,207
Hey! Been meaning to ask you...
1696
01:37:10,250 --> 01:37:13,515
what's with the dirty,
disgusting hobo bear?
1697
01:37:13,558 --> 01:37:16,735
It's not dirt. It's the blood
of my dead daughter.
1698
01:37:16,779 --> 01:37:19,477
Are You Bear, God?
It's Me, Margaret.
1699
01:37:19,521 --> 01:37:20,957
Give me some.
1700
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:22,567
They say
laughter heals anything...
1701
01:37:22,611 --> 01:37:23,742
except, of course, that.
1702
01:37:23,786 --> 01:37:25,004
We should just cue the music.
1703
01:37:50,160 --> 01:37:52,858
Welcome home, Russell.
We missed you.
1704
01:37:54,077 --> 01:37:55,121
Russell!
1705
01:37:55,165 --> 01:37:58,560
You don't need to do this!
Let's talk!
1706
01:37:58,603 --> 01:38:00,123
Why are you dressed
like the Unabomber?
1707
01:38:04,261 --> 01:38:05,523
That's why!
1708
01:38:05,567 --> 01:38:06,892
Told you this little fucker's
too far gone.
1709
01:38:06,916 --> 01:38:08,633
Zip it, Thanos!
We have a deal and you fuck...
1710
01:38:08,657 --> 01:38:11,137
Hey!
1711
01:38:11,181 --> 01:38:14,314
I'm gonna shove that
cab driver right up your ass.
1712
01:38:15,446 --> 01:38:17,622
My body and my hands
are so soft.
1713
01:38:17,666 --> 01:38:18,904
You should probably
head back to the car.
1714
01:38:18,928 --> 01:38:20,625
I think I'll head
back to the car.
1715
01:38:21,800 --> 01:38:24,499
It works best
when you pull the trigger.
1716
01:38:27,414 --> 01:38:28,677
That gun is amazing!
1717
01:38:30,026 --> 01:38:31,244
Say it!
1718
01:38:33,420 --> 01:38:36,467
You are an abomination!
1719
01:38:43,735 --> 01:38:47,043
Now, I'm gonna shove
the red guy up the old guy.
1720
01:38:47,086 --> 01:38:49,524
I believe him!
Every man for themselves!
1721
01:38:53,876 --> 01:38:54,964
Gotcha!
1722
01:38:55,747 --> 01:38:56,922
Beat it, midget!
1723
01:38:59,925 --> 01:39:03,015
Hey, big guy,
the sun's getting real low!
1724
01:39:03,059 --> 01:39:04,147
Oh, shit fuck!
1725
01:39:18,030 --> 01:39:19,597
Come here, beautiful.
1726
01:39:27,387 --> 01:39:28,519
Whoo!
1727
01:39:37,702 --> 01:39:38,790
Say it!
1728
01:41:02,265 --> 01:41:03,396
You came for me.
1729
01:41:03,440 --> 01:41:04,876
I'm not giving up on you,
1730
01:41:04,920 --> 01:41:07,052
and you are not
giving up on that boy.
1731
01:41:07,096 --> 01:41:09,141
Who says that rules
aren't meant to be broken?
1732
01:41:09,185 --> 01:41:11,578
It's time to fight dirty.
1733
01:41:11,622 --> 01:41:12,971
Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.
1734
01:41:13,015 --> 01:41:15,800
Hey! Pick on someone
your own size!
1735
01:41:15,844 --> 01:41:17,933
That's such a you thing to say!
1736
01:41:17,976 --> 01:41:19,935
Go get him, tiger!
1737
01:41:19,978 --> 01:41:21,850
Big CGI fight coming up!
1738
01:41:44,916 --> 01:41:46,309
He's doing great.
1739
01:41:46,352 --> 01:41:47,571
Say it!
1740
01:41:51,749 --> 01:41:53,142
- Russell.
- Bingo!
1741
01:41:58,538 --> 01:42:00,540
You see that bus?
1742
01:42:00,584 --> 01:42:01,824
I'm gonna shove it up your ass.
1743
01:42:05,154 --> 01:42:07,112
That's right!
I'm fighting dirty!
1744
01:42:08,026 --> 01:42:09,071
Oh, great!
1745
01:42:09,114 --> 01:42:10,526
There they are! Those freaks!
1746
01:42:10,550 --> 01:42:12,659
A bunch of armed
pedophiles in nursing shoes.
1747
01:42:12,683 --> 01:42:14,816
Can I have one of those guns?
1748
01:42:14,859 --> 01:42:16,687
- No.
- That's fine.
1749
01:42:16,731 --> 01:42:18,689
Get off this property,
mutant scum!
1750
01:42:18,733 --> 01:42:19,933
I'm just gonna use this brick.
1751
01:42:20,473 --> 01:42:21,561
Maximum effort.
1752
01:42:27,611 --> 01:42:29,352
Who says you
can't go home again?
1753
01:42:38,448 --> 01:42:39,841
Oh!
1754
01:42:46,499 --> 01:42:47,500
Yeah!
1755
01:42:49,720 --> 01:42:51,374
Say it.
1756
01:42:51,417 --> 01:42:54,464
Say what you said
every time you tortured me!
1757
01:42:54,986 --> 01:42:56,335
Say it!
1758
01:42:56,379 --> 01:42:59,077
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand!
1759
01:43:00,296 --> 01:43:02,428
Blessed are the wicked...
1760
01:43:02,472 --> 01:43:03,690
who are healed...
1761
01:43:04,169 --> 01:43:05,692
by my hand.
1762
01:43:23,754 --> 01:43:25,451
You commie motherfucker!
1763
01:43:52,522 --> 01:43:55,046
Oh, my God.
Did you feel that, too?
1764
01:43:55,090 --> 01:43:57,309
Only best buddies
execute pedophiles together.
1765
01:44:00,182 --> 01:44:02,532
You got 30 seconds,
you jabbering butt plug!
1766
01:44:02,575 --> 01:44:03,794
Now we're getting it.
1767
01:44:08,494 --> 01:44:10,757
I need a bus
to get you all out of here.
1768
01:44:16,024 --> 01:44:17,068
Orphans.
1769
01:44:18,243 --> 01:44:19,462
Oh, geez.
1770
01:44:20,898 --> 01:44:23,596
It's time to burn
for what you've done!
1771
01:44:23,640 --> 01:44:26,121
A child should not be burdened
with such power!
1772
01:44:34,956 --> 01:44:36,000
Russell! Wait!
1773
01:44:42,006 --> 01:44:43,312
Oh!
1774
01:44:50,536 --> 01:44:52,669
Wait! He hasn't killed
anyone yet!
1775
01:44:52,712 --> 01:44:54,734
What more do you need to see?
Don't you fucking dare!
1776
01:44:54,758 --> 01:44:55,933
He's just a kid!
1777
01:44:55,977 --> 01:44:57,892
Tick, tock. Meter's running!
1778
01:45:10,600 --> 01:45:13,646
I'm gonna melt you down
and make a cock ring.
1779
01:45:34,015 --> 01:45:36,669
- I told you! Leave me alone!
- Come on!
1780
01:45:37,192 --> 01:45:38,323
Listen to me!
1781
01:46:01,564 --> 01:46:03,218
That's how we do it
1782
01:46:03,261 --> 01:46:04,741
in Mother Russia.
1783
01:46:06,961 --> 01:46:09,485
They say millennials are
the hardest to reach.
1784
01:46:10,877 --> 01:46:14,098
Oh, no. You're doing amazing.
1785
01:46:15,404 --> 01:46:18,276
Damn, it feels good
to be a gangsta!
1786
01:46:18,320 --> 01:46:20,148
Go home, Wade!
1787
01:46:20,191 --> 01:46:22,019
You're ruining everything!
1788
01:46:27,372 --> 01:46:28,721
I'm getting good at this shit.
1789
01:46:28,765 --> 01:46:30,071
Go, go, go!
1790
01:46:33,291 --> 01:46:35,250
He dies tonight, Wade.
1791
01:46:35,293 --> 01:46:37,774
You can't stop me!
1792
01:46:37,817 --> 01:46:39,689
He even runs
like a fucking pervert.
1793
01:46:39,732 --> 01:46:42,474
Like an online predator
who lost his laptop.
1794
01:46:43,910 --> 01:46:45,390
There's one bullet left
in that gun.
1795
01:46:45,434 --> 01:46:47,436
Wait, wait, wait!
Please, just give me a second!
1796
01:46:47,479 --> 01:46:48,959
I got this.
1797
01:46:49,003 --> 01:46:51,222
- Russell!
- Stay back! Go home, Wade!
1798
01:46:51,266 --> 01:46:53,964
Let's talk. It doesn't
have to go this way!
1799
01:46:54,008 --> 01:46:55,661
That piece of shit...
1800
01:46:55,705 --> 01:46:57,446
he deserves to die
for what he did to you.
1801
01:46:57,489 --> 01:47:00,884
He hurt you badly.
Makes you wanna hurt others.
1802
01:47:01,754 --> 01:47:03,539
But if you kill him, he wins.
1803
01:47:03,582 --> 01:47:07,456
You become everything
he says you are, but worse.
1804
01:47:07,499 --> 01:47:09,501
You're just a kid.
1805
01:47:09,545 --> 01:47:11,286
You don't wanna hurt anyone.
1806
01:47:11,329 --> 01:47:12,591
How do you know what I want?
1807
01:47:12,635 --> 01:47:14,245
Because I've been inside you.
1808
01:47:14,941 --> 01:47:16,813
That came out wrong.
1809
01:47:16,856 --> 01:47:18,554
I've been inside your shoes.
1810
01:47:18,597 --> 01:47:20,469
Which is also off-putting.
1811
01:47:20,512 --> 01:47:21,992
It's not a great analogy.
1812
01:47:22,036 --> 01:47:23,863
The point is...
1813
01:47:23,907 --> 01:47:25,604
there are people...
1814
01:47:25,648 --> 01:47:28,694
There are people
in this fucking world...
1815
01:47:28,738 --> 01:47:31,436
besides him,
who will treat you right.
1816
01:47:31,480 --> 01:47:34,091
It isn't too late. Don't do it.
1817
01:47:39,662 --> 01:47:42,056
I never should've left
you there.
1818
01:47:43,796 --> 01:47:45,668
I never should've left you
in that prison.
1819
01:47:52,762 --> 01:47:54,068
I can't trust you.
1820
01:47:55,765 --> 01:47:58,115
I can't trust anybody!
1821
01:48:07,342 --> 01:48:08,604
Wonderful kid.
1822
01:48:08,647 --> 01:48:10,432
You can't stop me, Wade!
1823
01:48:12,651 --> 01:48:14,914
I got one more idea.
1824
01:48:14,958 --> 01:48:17,874
It's just a really bad one,
even for me.
1825
01:48:17,917 --> 01:48:19,180
Wade, what are you doing?
1826
01:48:19,223 --> 01:48:21,530
All right. This is for
all the marbles, kid!
1827
01:48:21,573 --> 01:48:23,662
You're gonna kill
someone today...
1828
01:48:23,706 --> 01:48:25,142
Blessed are the wicked...
1829
01:48:25,186 --> 01:48:27,101
then it's gotta be me.
1830
01:48:28,189 --> 01:48:30,104
Who are healed by my hand!
1831
01:48:33,194 --> 01:48:35,631
Fuck this!
1832
01:49:36,344 --> 01:49:39,303
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.
1833
01:49:44,308 --> 01:49:45,831
Oh, that's not good.
1834
01:49:47,398 --> 01:49:48,834
No, sir.
1835
01:49:56,451 --> 01:49:59,367
You sacrificed yourself for me.
1836
01:49:59,802 --> 01:50:00,977
Yeah.
1837
01:50:01,020 --> 01:50:03,240
And it was the best thing
I ever did.
1838
01:50:05,199 --> 01:50:07,288
I told you I care about you.
1839
01:50:07,331 --> 01:50:09,115
You're a good kid, Russell.
1840
01:50:10,813 --> 01:50:11,901
Hey.
1841
01:50:13,207 --> 01:50:14,425
The bear.
1842
01:50:14,469 --> 01:50:15,861
It worked.
1843
01:50:22,825 --> 01:50:24,435
Because of you.
1844
01:50:24,479 --> 01:50:26,785
No, Wade, because of you.
1845
01:50:27,656 --> 01:50:29,745
Stop, stop, stop!
1846
01:50:29,788 --> 01:50:30,963
Stop!
1847
01:50:32,138 --> 01:50:35,098
Just let it happen, okay?
1848
01:50:35,141 --> 01:50:38,841
I guess my heart was finally
in the right place.
1849
01:50:38,884 --> 01:50:41,278
That riddle is so fucked up.
1850
01:50:46,109 --> 01:50:48,503
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
1851
01:50:48,546 --> 01:50:49,895
Don't be. Don't be.
1852
01:50:49,939 --> 01:50:52,158
I've been trying to make
this happen for a while.
1853
01:50:52,202 --> 01:50:53,856
Please, just don't leave me.
1854
01:50:53,899 --> 01:50:55,510
I don't wanna die
without an audience.
1855
01:50:55,553 --> 01:50:57,207
We are not going anywhere.
1856
01:50:57,251 --> 01:50:59,340
Oh, God, I hope
the Academy is watching.
1857
01:50:59,383 --> 01:51:00,515
Just rest, okay?
1858
01:51:02,343 --> 01:51:03,431
Papa.
1859
01:51:05,650 --> 01:51:07,609
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
1860
01:51:09,872 --> 01:51:15,878
♪ Papa, can you find me
in the night? ♪
1861
01:51:37,160 --> 01:51:38,901
Before I go...
1862
01:51:38,944 --> 01:51:40,642
Sorry, I got a bit more in me.
1863
01:51:41,251 --> 01:51:42,600
Domino.
1864
01:51:42,644 --> 01:51:47,083
I want you to have
my Adventure Timewatch.
1865
01:51:49,607 --> 01:51:52,480
Turns out
that I'm the lucky one.
1866
01:51:53,263 --> 01:51:54,351
Thank you.
1867
01:51:55,700 --> 01:51:58,964
Hey, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.
1868
01:51:59,008 --> 01:52:01,315
I liked you better
with your hair short.
1869
01:52:01,358 --> 01:52:02,490
Think everyone did.
1870
01:52:03,317 --> 01:52:06,058
- Hi, Yukio.
- Hi, Wade!
1871
01:52:08,060 --> 01:52:09,148
And you...
1872
01:52:09,671 --> 01:52:11,673
Chrome Bone.
1873
01:52:11,716 --> 01:52:14,632
I haven't always been
the best friend to you.
1874
01:52:14,676 --> 01:52:16,982
But you've always been
that to me.
1875
01:52:17,026 --> 01:52:18,375
So thank you.
1876
01:52:20,551 --> 01:52:22,161
Say "fuck" for me.
1877
01:52:22,988 --> 01:52:24,294
Just once. Come on,
1878
01:52:24,338 --> 01:52:25,948
we'll do it together.
It's no big deal.
1879
01:52:25,991 --> 01:52:29,038
Here we go. One, two, three.
F... F... F...
1880
01:52:29,081 --> 01:52:30,256
Fuck.
1881
01:52:30,300 --> 01:52:33,564
Wow! Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.
1882
01:52:34,913 --> 01:52:38,003
And you, Cable.
1883
01:52:38,047 --> 01:52:42,530
You get back to your family.
You tell 'em Wade says hi.
1884
01:52:42,573 --> 01:52:46,229
And promise me.
Promise me one thing.
1885
01:52:46,272 --> 01:52:47,665
That you'll start
judging people...
1886
01:52:47,709 --> 01:52:49,101
not by the color of their skin,
1887
01:52:49,145 --> 01:52:51,016
but by the content
of their character.
1888
01:52:51,756 --> 01:52:53,367
- Jesus.
- R-Dog?
1889
01:52:54,542 --> 01:52:57,022
There you are. Hey!
1890
01:52:57,066 --> 01:52:59,285
You're a superhero now, bubba.
1891
01:52:59,329 --> 01:53:02,332
That's why it's high time
that you had a super suit.
1892
01:53:02,376 --> 01:53:03,768
This one is yours.
1893
01:53:03,812 --> 01:53:05,553
You might wanna
get it steam cleaned.
1894
01:53:05,596 --> 01:53:07,032
Especially around the pants.
1895
01:53:07,076 --> 01:53:08,773
And let it out
a little in the waist.
1896
01:53:09,731 --> 01:53:10,732
But, hey.
1897
01:53:11,776 --> 01:53:13,125
Look.
1898
01:53:13,169 --> 01:53:15,780
Family is not an F-word.
1899
01:53:16,520 --> 01:53:17,869
All right?
1900
01:53:17,913 --> 01:53:20,350
There's one out there for you.
1901
01:53:20,394 --> 01:53:22,091
Just keep looking, okay?
1902
01:53:25,573 --> 01:53:28,358
Guys, for a second there...
1903
01:53:29,185 --> 01:53:31,317
we made a pretty good team.
1904
01:53:46,376 --> 01:53:48,378
Oh, it's so hard to go.
1905
01:53:49,945 --> 01:53:52,251
I just love being around
you guys so much.
1906
01:53:53,339 --> 01:53:54,558
So, so much.
1907
01:53:55,298 --> 01:53:56,647
Mmm.
1908
01:53:56,691 --> 01:53:59,520
No, I can feel it now.
Here it comes, yeah.
1909
01:53:59,563 --> 01:54:03,393
I feel the soul
exiting the husk.
1910
01:54:03,437 --> 01:54:04,438
Yeah.
1911
01:54:06,309 --> 01:54:08,790
Can you see it?
1912
01:54:08,833 --> 01:54:11,009
Do you see
that beautiful bright light?
1913
01:54:12,489 --> 01:54:13,621
There it is.
1914
01:54:19,888 --> 01:54:21,150
Oh, that's the sun.
1915
01:54:21,193 --> 01:54:23,065
Don't stare directly into that.
1916
01:54:23,108 --> 01:54:24,545
I just have a few final words.
1917
01:54:26,764 --> 01:54:28,157
Woodpecker.
1918
01:54:28,940 --> 01:54:30,289
Gingivitis.
1919
01:54:32,335 --> 01:54:33,684
Codswallop.
1920
01:54:38,036 --> 01:54:39,995
Do You Want to Build a Snowman?
1921
01:55:54,983 --> 01:55:56,201
Sorry I'm late.
1922
01:55:56,245 --> 01:55:57,942
There was a bunch
1923
01:55:57,986 --> 01:55:59,354
of handicapable children
who were stuck in a tree.
1924
01:55:59,378 --> 01:56:01,598
- No.
- No.
1925
01:56:01,642 --> 01:56:04,732
- But I did have to help a kid.
- Yeah.
1926
01:56:04,775 --> 01:56:06,690
- He's got a terrible name.
- It's just awful.
1927
01:56:06,734 --> 01:56:07,735
- Ugh.
- I tried to tell him.
1928
01:56:10,085 --> 01:56:11,521
Is this heaven?
1929
01:56:12,391 --> 01:56:13,567
It is now.
1930
01:56:17,048 --> 01:56:18,920
I am so sorry.
1931
01:56:19,747 --> 01:56:21,096
It's okay.
1932
01:56:40,942 --> 01:56:42,813
I missed you so much.
1933
01:56:48,427 --> 01:56:50,081
What is it? What's wrong?
1934
01:56:51,996 --> 01:56:54,085
It's not time.
1935
01:56:54,129 --> 01:56:56,131
What do you mean it's not time?
1936
01:56:56,174 --> 01:56:57,785
I'm here, I made it.
1937
01:56:57,828 --> 01:56:59,569
- You can't stay.
- No, no, no.
1938
01:56:59,613 --> 01:57:02,267
I'm staying. I'm not going
anywhere without you.
1939
01:57:02,311 --> 01:57:03,747
It's okay.
1940
01:57:03,791 --> 01:57:06,620
There's a time for us.
It's just not now.
1941
01:57:07,664 --> 01:57:10,101
- They need you.
- Who?
1942
01:57:12,147 --> 01:57:13,452
Your F-word.
1943
01:57:14,715 --> 01:57:15,716
Why?
1944
01:57:15,759 --> 01:57:16,760
You'll find out.
1945
01:57:18,022 --> 01:57:19,589
It's all right. I'll be here.
1946
01:57:20,938 --> 01:57:23,724
It's pretty fucking
awesome over here.
1947
01:57:23,767 --> 01:57:25,682
I can have anything I want.
1948
01:57:25,726 --> 01:57:27,858
Can every day be
International Women's Day?
1949
01:57:27,902 --> 01:57:29,468
It is heaven.
1950
01:57:29,512 --> 01:57:30,731
I love you.
1951
01:57:33,255 --> 01:57:35,997
I know. I love you, too.
1952
01:57:36,606 --> 01:57:37,999
Now, go.
1953
01:57:38,869 --> 01:57:40,871
Go on. Go, get out of here.
1954
01:57:41,916 --> 01:57:42,917
Go.
1955
01:57:45,746 --> 01:57:46,746
Hey!
1956
01:57:49,750 --> 01:57:51,882
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
1957
01:57:52,535 --> 01:57:53,667
Well, come here.
1958
01:58:12,990 --> 01:58:14,731
Don't fuck Elvis.
1959
01:58:14,775 --> 01:58:16,515
- Ooh, too late.
- I'm sorry?
1960
01:58:26,003 --> 01:58:27,265
Time to make the chimichangas.
1961
01:58:27,309 --> 01:58:28,440
30 seconds.
1962
01:58:28,484 --> 01:58:29,746
Hey. Been meaning to ask you...
1963
01:58:29,790 --> 01:58:32,270
what's with the creepy,
dirty hobo bear?
1964
01:58:32,314 --> 01:58:34,490
It's my daughter's teddy bear.
1965
01:58:34,533 --> 01:58:36,057
Her name's Hope.
1966
01:58:36,100 --> 01:58:37,232
Well...
1967
01:58:38,059 --> 01:58:39,974
What are you doing?
1968
01:58:40,017 --> 01:58:41,671
Somebody swiped right.
1969
01:58:54,423 --> 01:58:57,208
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.
1970
01:59:00,124 --> 01:59:01,909
You sacrificed yourself for me.
1971
01:59:01,952 --> 01:59:03,475
It would seem I...
1972
01:59:05,651 --> 01:59:06,914
Huh?
1973
01:59:08,045 --> 01:59:10,395
Genuine, high-grade lead.
1974
01:59:12,310 --> 01:59:15,357
You time-sliding son of a bitch!
1975
01:59:15,400 --> 01:59:16,967
You did this for me?
1976
01:59:18,839 --> 01:59:21,929
Wait. You can't go back.
1977
01:59:21,972 --> 01:59:23,278
You used the last of your fuel.
1978
01:59:23,321 --> 01:59:25,062
What about your girl, your wife?
1979
01:59:25,106 --> 01:59:28,370
Now, my family's safe.
And I didn't do it for you.
1980
01:59:29,850 --> 01:59:32,287
No, I'm gonna stick around
for a while...
1981
01:59:32,330 --> 01:59:33,592
and make sure the world
1982
01:59:33,636 --> 01:59:35,333
doesn't shit itself
into oblivion.
1983
01:59:36,030 --> 01:59:38,902
No. You did it for me.
1984
01:59:39,685 --> 01:59:41,122
No, I didn't.
1985
01:59:41,165 --> 01:59:42,601
- You did.
- I really didn't.
1986
01:59:42,645 --> 01:59:44,485
- Pretty sure you did.
- No, I'm positive I didn't.
1987
01:59:44,516 --> 01:59:46,301
Fine. All right,
let's flip a coin. Okay?
1988
01:59:46,344 --> 01:59:49,086
Heads, you did it for me.
Tails, you did it for me.
1989
01:59:49,130 --> 01:59:51,915
I'm not even gonna look,
because you did it for me.
1990
01:59:51,959 --> 01:59:53,090
Say it again.
1991
01:59:53,134 --> 01:59:54,744
- He did it for me.
- Jesus.
1992
01:59:54,788 --> 01:59:56,591
- We must get the collar off.
- Forget it. It's no use.
1993
01:59:56,615 --> 01:59:58,530
These collars
don't just come off.
1994
01:59:58,574 --> 02:00:00,054
Wade.
1995
02:00:00,097 --> 02:00:02,012
I have an idea.
1996
02:00:02,056 --> 02:00:04,188
No, no, no!
Let's not do that. Please!
1997
02:00:04,232 --> 02:00:06,669
I'd rather die of cancer.
Let's just...
1998
02:00:06,712 --> 02:00:09,846
Oh, God! They do say the pen
is grosser than the sword.
1999
02:00:09,890 --> 02:00:12,196
We need the code.
2000
02:00:12,240 --> 02:00:14,155
Try, uh, seven?
2001
02:00:14,198 --> 02:00:15,809
Settle down, Captain Lucky.
2002
02:00:15,852 --> 02:00:17,288
It's not gonna be one number.
2003
02:00:17,332 --> 02:00:18,492
Oh, God, that's lazy writing.
2004
02:00:19,421 --> 02:00:20,770
I still got it.
2005
02:00:23,817 --> 02:00:25,775
Put that back
in your prison wallet.
2006
02:00:27,472 --> 02:00:29,387
I don't know how to thank you.
2007
02:00:29,431 --> 02:00:31,346
But I do know how to hug you.
2008
02:00:31,389 --> 02:00:32,695
- No.
- Yes.
2009
02:00:32,738 --> 02:00:34,218
Here we go. Bring it in.
2010
02:00:34,262 --> 02:00:35,350
Come on.
2011
02:00:35,393 --> 02:00:36,830
Pelvis to pelvis.
2012
02:00:36,873 --> 02:00:38,222
Let's go tip to tip.
2013
02:00:38,266 --> 02:00:40,834
There we go.
The kids call this docking.
2014
02:00:42,531 --> 02:00:44,098
Is there a knife in my dick?
2015
02:00:44,141 --> 02:00:45,945
- There's a knife in your dick.
- I'm just gonna back up now.
2016
02:00:45,969 --> 02:00:47,884
- Yeah, yeah.
- No need to go full Yentl.
2017
02:00:47,928 --> 02:00:50,713
Gonna pretend
like that never happened.
2018
02:00:50,756 --> 02:00:52,671
Let's go home, Russell.
2019
02:00:56,327 --> 02:00:58,112
All you dirty mutants
2020
02:00:58,155 --> 02:01:00,723
are gonna rot in hell
with the boy!
2021
02:01:00,766 --> 02:01:03,857
Your souls
are beyond redemption!
2022
02:01:03,900 --> 02:01:05,162
Let's see your soul, perv!
2023
02:01:05,206 --> 02:01:08,035
No, no! No! No more!
We're better than that!
2024
02:01:08,078 --> 02:01:09,384
We're better than him!
2025
02:01:09,427 --> 02:01:12,039
No more senseless violence!
No more bloodshed!
2026
02:01:12,082 --> 02:01:13,692
We'll let karma
take care of him.
2027
02:01:13,736 --> 02:01:16,739
The day of reckoning is here!
2028
02:01:26,053 --> 02:01:28,142
I'm gonna miss him.
He seemed great.
2029
02:01:28,185 --> 02:01:29,404
Whoo!
2030
02:01:29,447 --> 02:01:31,058
Courage, motherfuckers!
2031
02:01:31,101 --> 02:01:32,581
And karma, motherfucker.
2032
02:01:32,624 --> 02:01:34,037
I could hear you
coming the last 30 seconds.
2033
02:01:34,061 --> 02:01:36,063
I could barely keep
a straight face.
2034
02:01:36,106 --> 02:01:38,021
I want some more.
2035
02:01:38,065 --> 02:01:39,805
I bet you do, Brown Panther.
2036
02:01:39,849 --> 02:01:43,374
We should leave
before Fuckernaut wakes up.
2037
02:01:43,418 --> 02:01:45,681
Good call.
You guys coming with us?
2038
02:01:45,724 --> 02:01:47,683
No, we'll get the kids
back to the mansion.
2039
02:01:47,726 --> 02:01:49,250
Besides, we're X-Men.
2040
02:01:49,293 --> 02:01:51,948
No, you're X-People.
2041
02:01:51,992 --> 02:01:53,341
You're exhausting.
2042
02:01:53,384 --> 02:01:55,169
I see what you did there. Puns.
2043
02:01:55,212 --> 02:01:56,648
Our door's always open.
2044
02:01:56,692 --> 02:01:58,476
That's kind, but
I'm not ready to date again.
2045
02:01:58,520 --> 02:01:59,521
Let alone two women.
2046
02:02:00,652 --> 02:02:02,350
God, you're a douche.
2047
02:02:02,393 --> 02:02:04,526
- Bye, Wade!
- Bye, Yukio!
2048
02:02:07,224 --> 02:02:08,530
What do you get
2049
02:02:08,573 --> 02:02:09,487
when you take
eight feet of chrome...
2050
02:02:09,531 --> 02:02:10,706
one pinch of courage...
2051
02:02:10,749 --> 02:02:11,968
a cup of good luck...
2052
02:02:12,012 --> 02:02:13,578
a dab of racism...
2053
02:02:13,622 --> 02:02:15,145
a splash of diabetes...
2054
02:02:15,189 --> 02:02:17,582
and a wheelbarrow
full of stage four cancer?
2055
02:02:17,626 --> 02:02:20,324
Answer: a family.
2056
02:02:20,368 --> 02:02:23,501
See? I didn't lie
what kind of film this was.
2057
02:02:23,545 --> 02:02:25,088
If there's anything
you take away today...
2058
02:02:25,112 --> 02:02:28,071
other than the need to Google,
"What the fuck is dubstep?"...
2059
02:02:28,115 --> 02:02:30,944
it's that we all need
to belong to someone.
2060
02:04:28,017 --> 02:04:29,758
How something so small generates
2061
02:04:29,801 --> 02:04:31,368
enough energy
to reverse time is...
2062
02:04:31,412 --> 02:04:33,805
Oh, just fix it, Eleven,
2063
02:04:33,849 --> 02:04:36,112
or I'll take it
to the Genius Bar.
2064
02:04:36,156 --> 02:04:37,394
Cable's gonna kill you
when he finds out.
2065
02:04:37,418 --> 02:04:38,462
Never heard of him.
2066
02:04:38,506 --> 02:04:39,985
Why do you think
I'm helping him?
2067
02:04:41,248 --> 02:04:43,511
The Lord works
in mysterious ways,
2068
02:04:43,554 --> 02:04:45,817
don't I? A good day.
2069
02:04:46,557 --> 02:04:47,558
Bye, Wade!
2070
02:04:48,081 --> 02:04:49,082
Bye, Yukio!
2071
02:04:50,387 --> 02:04:52,911
That was probably a bad idea.
2072
02:04:52,955 --> 02:04:53,956
What have we done?
2073
02:05:12,496 --> 02:05:14,542
I hope we sharpened
the cream cheese spreader.
2074
02:05:24,682 --> 02:05:26,119
I'll be right back!
2075
02:05:28,121 --> 02:05:30,645
We're definitely naming
our kid Cher!
2076
02:05:31,036 --> 02:05:32,037
Whoo!
2077
02:05:33,865 --> 02:05:35,171
Peter!
2078
02:05:35,215 --> 02:05:36,781
Whoo! X-Force!
2079
02:05:36,825 --> 02:05:39,871
Walk away! Just walk away!
2080
02:05:39,915 --> 02:05:41,917
- But we're X-Force!
- Nope! We're not.
2081
02:05:41,960 --> 02:05:43,310
X-Force is just a marketing tool
2082
02:05:43,353 --> 02:05:44,659
designed by Fox executives...
2083
02:05:44,702 --> 02:05:46,400
to keep Josh Brolin employed.
2084
02:05:46,443 --> 02:05:47,966
It doesn't exist.
2085
02:05:48,010 --> 02:05:51,318
All right, well,
this has been pretty scary!
2086
02:05:51,361 --> 02:05:53,058
And I need to feed my cat!
2087
02:05:53,102 --> 02:05:55,583
Go home, Sugarbear. Go home.
2088
02:05:55,626 --> 02:05:58,890
Okay. Will you give
Domino my email?
2089
02:06:08,073 --> 02:06:09,945
Wade, is that you?
2090
02:06:12,208 --> 02:06:13,557
I guess Stryker finally
2091
02:06:13,601 --> 02:06:14,993
figured out how to shut you up.
2092
02:06:21,565 --> 02:06:24,960
Hey! It's me! Don't scratch!
2093
02:06:25,003 --> 02:06:27,049
Just cleaning up the timelines!
2094
02:06:27,092 --> 02:06:30,922
Look, eventually you're
going to hang up the claws...
2095
02:06:30,966 --> 02:06:33,186
and it's gonna make
a lot of people very sad.
2096
02:06:33,577 --> 02:06:34,970
Huh?
2097
02:06:35,013 --> 02:06:36,339
But one day, your old pal
Wade's gonna ask you...
2098
02:06:36,363 --> 02:06:38,321
to get back in the saddle again.
2099
02:06:39,235 --> 02:06:41,759
And when he does, say yes.
2100
02:06:43,021 --> 02:06:44,980
Oh, right.
2101
02:06:45,894 --> 02:06:47,200
Love you!
2102
02:06:49,550 --> 02:06:51,204
Goddamn, that's beautiful.
2103
02:06:58,559 --> 02:07:00,387
You're welcome, Canada.
2104
02:07:12,921 --> 02:07:14,096
Boy howdy.
2105
02:07:15,967 --> 02:07:18,883
Hi. This is a toughie.
2106
02:07:18,927 --> 02:07:20,363
Yeesh.
2107
02:07:20,407 --> 02:07:23,801
Oh, yes. You're already
practicing your salute, huh?
2108
02:07:23,845 --> 02:07:26,674
Yes, you are. Well, we'll
take care of that, won't we?
2109
02:07:26,717 --> 02:07:29,503
Jesus Christ! This is
so much harder than I thought.
2110
02:07:30,330 --> 02:07:31,983
Oh, I'm going to hell.
2111
02:07:32,027 --> 02:07:33,724
That makes two of us.
2112
02:07:33,768 --> 02:07:35,378
You can do this.
2113
02:07:35,422 --> 02:07:38,076
This is crazy. This is crazy.
This is crazy. This is crazy.
2114
02:07:38,120 --> 02:07:39,252
All right.
2115
02:07:46,607 --> 02:07:49,000
Maximum effort.
2116
02:13:26,686 --> 02:13:28,992
That's okay. Let me see here.
2117
02:13:29,036 --> 02:13:30,559
Oh, God.
2118
02:13:30,603 --> 02:13:32,561
That's why you're
such a little bastard.
2119
02:13:32,605 --> 02:13:34,955
No one's ever changed you.
2120
02:13:34,998 --> 02:13:37,740
Yeah, you got a big, old
stinky in there, don't you?
2121
02:13:37,784 --> 02:13:40,613
God, it smells like
Hitler's anus...
2122
02:13:40,656 --> 02:13:43,224
which would makes sense,
wouldn't it? Yeah.
2123
02:13:43,267 --> 02:13:44,442
I think we both know
2124
02:13:44,486 --> 02:13:45,898
I don't have
what it takes to do this...
2125
02:13:45,922 --> 02:13:48,098
so I'm just gonna change
your diaper real quick...
2126
02:13:48,142 --> 02:13:50,076
and then I'm gonna come back
with my friend, Cable.
2127
02:13:50,100 --> 02:13:51,493
He loves killing kids.
148057
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