Original subtitles

Coco, take this!

- Here, Caro. - Thanks. Let's go!

Who needs a sign?

That's some cough. You OK?

Yes.

- I have hot chocolate. - No, thanks.

- A cigarette? - No. I'm OK.

Denis.

Caroline.

Are you coming with us? Come on! Take a sign. Come on!

Let's go!

Devaquet!

CIGARETTES AND HOT CHOCOLATE

Gustave Kervern The people have the power!

Camille Cottin Ensure our future together

Down with management Heloise Dugas

What do you have against Balladur's policy?

Could Balladur live on 3,800 francs?

That's his shoe budget! It's disgusting!

I believe another world is possible.

I believe, I believe!

Le Pen, Le Pen!

We're out in the street again!

Jiji? Janine?

You scared me, honey.

Shame on you!

Today

Janine, come see.

What is it?

- Look. Ziggy is all stiff. - Not again! Look.

Like this, it looks like he's eating.

Go wake up Denis!

Girl power!

That hurts!

You're soft!

Heard of exercise?

Those aren't John Cena's abs.

With Photoshop, anyone can look muscular.

Listen! I got better!

Not the recorder! Go play in the yard.

The acoustics are better.

I swear. Leave me alone!

Bye, girls.

Come on.

Leave me alone.

Come on, girls!

- Come on! - Go!

I told you I wasn't going to this.

You need to be with adults.

Yeah!

Bye!

Your card?

I don't have 1.

Are you under 4?

- Go sit down. - Thanks, sir!

They've got 4 million views.

- Hi, Robert. - Hi, Mercredi.

Just...

Do you have lice again?

No.

Come back! Wait!

We forgot the cafeteria check again.

Denis!

He's crazy!

He'll burn off all the Nutella he'll eat.

Go, Denis!

That guy's insane!

Did you see my dad? He did it.

It's Halloween. Buy one rat, get one free.

Should I come back later?

Sorry.

I have 1 left.

That's great. That'll work.

You don't want to talk to your daughters?

I don't want to traumatize them. Wednesday is fragile.

"Fragile?" Stop.

For Sunday's inventory,

I'll pay you in time off.

You have no overtime left.

Pierrot, I don't need time off. You know that.

I know, Denis. Here.

Denis, urgent message at customer service.

I'll do it.

What's this unit of mass? What is "DG?"

It's...

Don't cheat. Tell me.

Decigrams.

You be quiet. I'm asking her.

Are you sure it's decigrams? What's 83?

Tons. 3 tons is 3,000 kg.

Sorry. The school called me.

Mr. Patar, this is the 3rd time this month.

- "3rd time?" - He's doing his best.

Apparently, that's not enough.

I had to send a notice to the prosecutor.

- What? - A notice.

I had to. I reported it.

"Reported it?"

Isn't that a bit excessive for half an hour?

Mr. Patar,

look at me.

- Do I look like a nanny? - No.

Thanks. See you next time.

- Lift your foot when you wrestle. - I will.

Hurry up.

Take your hat.

- Bye! - Thanks. Sorry.

Is my tongue blue?

- Bye, Wednesday. - Bye, Michel.

- You're jealous. - I'm not jealous of anything.

Yes, you're jealous of secrets.

Janine, hurry up!

Hurry! Come on!

I could pick her up!

- Next year, maybe. - Trust me.

It's the world I don't trust.

Girls,

don't go to bed...

Too late!

I've got to go.

- A kiss! - Kisses.

- See you tomorrow! - Say hi to the animals.

Of course. OK.

Go in and go to bed.

When I grow up, I'll be a night vet too.

Silky Pussy

Movies - Lingerie - Toys

"When Jessica realized Jeff

"no longer had the Eye of the Moon,

"she dug a claw into his chest

"and ripped out his heart.

"Blood and guts started spilling out.

"'You filthy whore!'

"he screamed, spitting out blood.

"Just as the eclipse was becoming total,

"and Santa Monica was covered in darkness,

"Sanchez heard the fateful words.

"Fill his veins..."

I can see you're not sleeping.

Were you practicing?

You're like New York. You never sleep.

These fireflies die fast.

There are still larvae.

The fat one with the blank stare

looks like Robert.

Shhh!

Sleep.

Go to sleep, honey.

Unhook me!

Apply to roots

Wednesday

There. Nice and comfy.

No!

School cafeteria 2014-2015

There. Don't ask, don't tell.

"Following the receipt of a notification

"regarding your children's well-being,

"a social worker has been assigned to assess your situation

"and will visit your home

"on November 27 at 8am."

Are we going to an orphanage and you to prison?

No.

I told you, you don't need to raise your hand to talk.

It's not a gulag.

In The Rescuers, the girl escapes from the orphanage and

goes to the bayou.

That's in America. They'd never send you that far.

But you

might not stay with Jiji.

It's fascinating,

this gift you have for always butting in at the worst time.

Get out. Go! Get out!

Listen to me. Isn't today the 27th?

"The 27th?"

Shit!

Come on!

If you're asked a question, be polite.

Be Catholic.

Come on! Hurry!

Blonde, thin, Swedish.

Denis, the cube!

Whatever we keep goes in the bucket.

Throw it away! Hurry!

7:43am.

- It's empty. - Pick it up!

Come on, hurry.

Curtain. Stapler.

7:46am.

Girls, I'm counting on you. OK?

And, Janine, be cool.

Calm. Zen.

Don't worry. I've got it.

Good. OK. Let's go.

I don't have coffee. Hot chocolate?

No, thanks. I'd rather get started.

Others are next.

The prosecutor received several notifications,

including from your bank.

That's not your concern.

I have to understand how you operate,

including how you handle money in this household.

Well... We do our best.

The taxman takes money out of both of our salaries every month.

So we try to be careful. For example...

Yeah.

For lunch on Saturdays,

we have a picnic in the supermarket aisles.

It's cool, and we save money.

It's smart.

Yes, "smart." That's the word for it.

You turned down help from Social Services for

childcare and cleaning.

Yes. We don't need anybody.

Some cleaning help wouldn't be a luxury.

If I may, it smells like vinegar.

That's me.

Wednesday,

raise your hand when you want to talk.

I've always said that. I always say that.

Why "Wednesday?"

It's "Wednesday," and Bowie was born on a Wednesday.

And "Janine"

because that was one of his songs.

He's like a family member.

- I see. - David Bowie, the singer.

Yes. I know.

What did you want to say, Wednesday? Go ahead. You can talk.

Since I get lice all the time,

Denis puts vinegar in my hair.

The good thing is it's a lot cheaper

than the regular cream,

but the bad thing is it stings your eyes.

Less than the flea stuff for cats.

Her lice can survive anything.

You'd think she was raising them.

I see that in addition to your mortgage,

you have a large monthly repayment.

Can you tell me about that?

It's for the funeral.

- It was great. - Totally. A dream funeral!

I see.

15,000 euros for a funeral is a lot, isn't it?

She planned everything.

It was cool. When you die, it's forever.

Totally. It would've been cheaper to burn Mom, but we didn't want to.

Janine, stop.

Stop that.

When people die, you can't bury them right away,

or they rot too fast.

I didn't know that.

We had a super pretty cardboard coffin

that we decorated with peonies ourselves.

They were her favorite flower.

We rented a bubble machine.

And a band.

We miss you!

Us 4

That's enough!

We don't need to go into the details.

Mr. Patar, I need

to speak to your daughters alone.

- I don't want to leave. - I won't be long.

Please.

Denis is so cool.

He's a real hacker.

He gets zoo and movie tickets.

We go whenever we want.

"Candy if you brush your teeth..."

He works in a pet store

under the table, he says.

It must be hard to work under a table.

Denis and our grandparents are gremlins.

After 5 minutes, they eat each other alive.

I see.

He gives us presents when we clean up.

- Penis pasta? - School doesn't matter.

When we're tired, he lets us sleep.

On Sunday mornings, we go eat French fries.

When Mom...

I wanted to fight, so Denis let me wrestle.

Wednesday

Wow.

Cool.

- What did your mom do? - She wrote songs.

She came up with "Devaquet, we will picket."

She was only 14.

How does that go?

Devaquet, we will picket

Your reform, your reform

Devaquet, we will picket

Your reform, you can stick it

Take the kids away?

You're an unfit parent.

We're fine.

Who's "we?"

Alone all night? Sent to the police?

Planning a funeral?

Janine is not well. She's extremely anxious.

Has she seen a shrink?

"A shrink?"

Those are big words.

The court prosecutes parents

who don't fulfill their legal obligations.

The prosecutor recommends

you take a parental responsibility class.

We'll send you the papers.

Hang on.

I'm doing everything to keep our heads above water,

and I have to take a class?

You think I have time for tea and cookies?

I have jobs and bills to pay.

I'm here for your daughters.

If you refuse, the prosecutor will contact the judge,

and then your daughters could be sent to a foster home.

Under the law, you're an unfit parent.

Are we going to an orphanage and you to prison?

Your daughters could be sent to a foster home.

Hey. I'm great.

I have great news for you.

- I'm listening. - Let me explain.

I'm planning on using all my leave time at once

to attend a job training

for a few weeks.

Are you joking?

- That? - It's cute.

- "Cute?" - Yes.

- So cute. - It's creepy.

Hang on.

Leave David alone.

One day, your phone will meet my wall,

and that'll be creepy. Go!

Denis is going to stop working.

He's getting his heart amputated

at Santa Monica hospital.

- Bye! - What are you doing?

Hello? Hello, Pierrot?

Don't worry. I took care of it.

Don't thank me. I love talking to Pierrot.

He looks like John Cena.

He gets on my nerves.

You get on my nerves. You, stop doing that.

You all get on my nerves.

Created in 2007

by virtue of the crime prevention law,

this parenting class is meant to remind unfit parents

of the obligations of raising a child.

This legal mechanism

will help you improve your child-rearing skills,

with an interview

with Child Protective Services.

If it goes well - there's no reason it shouldn't -,

we'll close your case.

If not, we'll notify the judge.

Any questions?

I'm shocked by what you said.

"Child-rearing skills?"

It sounds like a job interview.

The term is a bit off-putting, but...

You said "interview." An interview on what?

I don't understand.

It's an interview to...

assess your sense of family.

Wouldn't it be better to do it case by case?

What do we have to do with each other?

Theory is one thing,

but everyday life, with work and kids, is not easy.

She's right.

- I know. - Do you have kids?

- You don't? - You need an outside perspective,

someone who can look at your life objectively.

During the class, I'll give you badges

for every step you complete.

There are 7. It's very motivating.

Like in driver's ed.

If you like. It's a bit like that.

How will they make our kids respect us?

The man is right.

It's childish.

Just go along with it.

It's dumb.

OK. Listen.

This class is mandatory. Let's not beat around the bush.

We'll start getting your lives in order

by creating some frameworks.

Badge number 1:

stability.

You must create a cocoon

in which parents protect their children.

Excuse me.

Each of your eyes is as pretty as the other,

and a beautiful oyster color.

Pas de bourree.

Children need structure.

You have to set them straight

with tact and firmness.

You have to.

But it's stupid!

I don't want to go.

Go ahead.

Point your foot back.

Step to the side

and cross.

- You look like a rat. - What?

Who's the rat now?

- Leave me alone! - Stop!

Whose daughter is this?

His.

No.

Never miss an opportunity to start a dialogue.

Menstruation...

Menstruation, also called a period,

is a flow of blood

caused by the shedding of the uterine lining

and blood vessels.

Cool!

How long is it?

In rats, the cycle lasts 5 days.

Make your parenting philosophy clear.

I don't believe in shrinks.

I was forced to come.

The idea that talking to a stranger will magically make you feel better

is nonsense.

Child Services required you come.

- Why? - You can't sit still.

It's a sign of anxiety.

She's always done that. It's a tic.

You're preoccupied. You have to let go.

I don't have anything to let go of.

I'm not preoccupied.

And my name is Janine.

Let's go! Ankles to your butts!

Why do we have to vote for the recorder solo?

She should give it to me.

She's so weird.

- Bitch. - Stop!

Settle down.

- You OK, Janine? - With her tics...

Tic, tic, tic...

Knees to your chests!

"Bitch" isn't helping my popularity.

I have to get the recorder solo.

End of transmission.

"Communicare:" coming together.

Communication will help you resolve conflicts.

- That's badge number...? - 3.

Yes. Xavier,

you'll play the child.

Get down low.

I'll get down to the child's level, like this,

in the complete listening position.

Xavier, can you act out a tantrum, refuse to obey, resist?

Go ahead.

Let me go! I'm sick of you!

You'll talk to your child.

Watch any nonverbal communication that can

show your anger.

Don't bite your lips

or wring your hands.

Be reassuring. Xavier...

I look in his eyes.

I understand your need to express how you feel.

We'll find a solution together

to satisfy both parties.

So, who wants to try?

Let me go! I'm leaving!

I understand your need to express how you feel.

- I don't care! - Let's communicate.

That's good.

- Douchebag. - Don't say that.

- I'll knock you out! - No. Restrain yourself.

- This is ridiculous. - It gets results.

- Try. - OK.

- I see... - Sit down!

Yes. OK.

No finger wagging. It blocks listening.

Quit hitting me!

- Enough! - You're insane!

That's funny.

No. I'm not going to bed.

It's 7:30pm. I don't want to sleep.

OK.

I understand your problem. I see your point of view,

but it's important for your development

that you go to bed early.

I'm using

the win-win method.

You've been talking strange since that class.

I'm just trying to manage conflicts diplomatically.

You're right, Wednesday. I know this is all strange.

You're worried.

You'd tell us if you were sick?

Of course. I don't know why I'm doing all this.

She's stressing me out, with her interviews

and sense of family.

I can help you prove to her we're solid.

I'll handle this myself.

It's not a game.

No.

See you tomorrow morning, girls.

Good night. Say hi to Pussy's animals for me.

Thanks.

It's the same motor.

Fender Stratocaster.

Never heard of it.

- Robert, did you see my 4th battery? - No.

What are you looking for?

I have to help Denis. I know it.

He's not OK.

If something bad happened,

I'd hate myself forever.

Yeah.

Denis doesn't want us to help. It's not a game,

so we can't help.

I'll find something simple.

You shouldn't, Jiji.

He's right. You shouldn't.

Every time we get an idea, it goes wrong.

Something about a sense of family.

Spirit, wherever you are, I call on you.

Over the mountains,

travel through time and space

and appear to me.

What's that?

The spirit is coming!

- I heard a noise. - It's the spirit.

Spirit, wherever you are,

I call on you.

I'm freaked out.

Oh my God!

Oh my God! Mom is sending us a sign!

Thank you.

End of transmission.

Caroline in the Circus

A circus performance.

That's how we'll prove to Severine we're a family.

How do we breathe fire?

We'll watch a tutorial.

If you make me beef Bourguignon after 2 dates,

what's next? Meeting your parents?

Sorry, but I don't think I can see you anymore.

Bye.

- Hello. - Hello, Severine.

- Want to race? - I'm not very competitive.

And I'm almost done.

- Me too. - Really?

- Done. - You have a small tank.

I won.

Well played.

Well done.

Your pump is slow.

If you press all the way, it makes gas vapors

that don't go in the tank

but that you still pay for.

Oh, right.

You're motivated.

It saves money.

At the end of the year, it pays for a class picture.

OK. See you tomorrow morning.

Yeah. Just between us,

don't you think it's stupid, the coaching, the badges?

Denis,

in the real world, outside your house,

there are rules.

Your girls will have to follow them.

It's your job to prepare them.

I think the real world

is disgusting.

Moms and guinea pigs die without warning.

I don't want to prepare them for that.

I'm glad if I can make them think

that fireflies will light up the world

or the Russians have cute bunnies

that poop jelly beans.

At least they'll be carefree.

We're a team, whether you like it or not.

I hope your interview goes well, because you're on thin ice.

...say, "assistance."

If you would like to be connected to the tax department,

say, "taxes."

Taxes.

If you're married, say, "married."

If you're single,

say, "single."

I'm not really single.

I didn't understand that.

There are Yule logs.

It even has a little unicorn!

Main menu.

- I'm sick of this. - Hello.

I'm the store manager. Care for some champagne?

Sure. I'd love some.

Are you at a cocktail party?

Oh, this?

We like to try before we invest.

- Want some? - No, thanks.

Follow me. Someone has to watch your children.

They can't wait here?

They can't be alone in my store.

Either someone gets them, or it's the police station.

Cool! I haven't seen Patrick in a while.

Hello? The answering machine is broken. This is the toaster.

Speak slow. It's the 1st time I've taken a message.

No, nothing.

You've reached the Silky Pussy.

It's Christmas. I'm closed, silly.

But Mrs. Claus will be here tonight if you want a present.

- No. - You're not going to call everyone.

Hang on. It's Christmas.

I... Hang on.

What about Auntie Severine?

I'm sure she'd come watch us.

Are you crazy?

She's the last one I'd call. What do I say?

You want the police to call?

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer."

And the cinnamon sake is free?

OK. I'll have that.

How long will it take to get here?

Thank you. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Bye.

Hello?

What am I doing here? Your dad has some nerve.

"It's an emergency. We're a team." What?

Were you with family?

Yes. Of course.

What was the emergency?

- What is it? - I have to go pee.

What?

Let's go. I'm taking you home.

Since we're here, we could go bowling.

Yes.

No. If anything happens to you, I'm responsible.

Come on, please? I want to play.

It's great you like sports,

but we have to go home because you need to rest.

But why?

Because rest allows the body to recover.

What does "recover" mean?

You'd better just give in.

Hang on. Let me talk to your sister a second.

"Recover"

means to get your strength back.

Let's stop these negotiations. They're not leading anywhere.

Will you buy me a present if I stop?

Rest is a present you give yourself.

Theory is not practice.

I've had enough of your... When you rest,

your brain also rests, and your neurons too.

What are neurons?

Go, Severine!

That was awesome!

What are you doing?

- Come on. Severine! - What?

You just got a strike!

A strike!

At least you can say, "In your face, bitches!"

At the very least.

Come on!

We want to hear you.

In your face.

- There. - No way! Too wimpy!

I didn't even hear it.

Watch me.

In your face, bitches! Motherfucker!

- Come on! - No one cares.

Your turn. You'll see, it's liberating.

- OK. In your face! - Louder!

In your face!

Let go!

- In your face! - Louder!

In your face!

Girl power!

In your face!

Go, Wednesday! Go!

Janine! Janine! Go, Janine!

Wednesday! Wednesday!

No! Stop!

In your face!

I'm done. You wore me out.

I'm taking you home.

- I wore myself out. - No kidding!

- Can I ask you a question? - Yes.

Why'd you become a social worker?

You're very curious.

When I was your age, my dad went to go buy cigarettes,

and when he came back, I was 25.

If e-cigs had existed then, it wouldn't have happened.

- You're silly. - What?

Since then, I felt it was my duty to help children.

My turn.

Why do you call him "Denis" and not "Dad?"

When we say "Dad," then we want to say "Mom" too.

You think we'll be split up?

If everyone keeps trying, no.

Thanks for watching them.

I'll take over now.

They were working on a surprise, so they asked me to stay.

I couldn't refuse them on Christmas Eve.

They insisted.

They were like this.

I couldn't resist.

I taught them that.

So we can't go in?

No. It's a surprise.

OK.

Mom, don't let us down.

End of transmission.

Showtime!

Did you know about the show?

I don't know anything.

I'm in total suspense.

I'm scared.

I don't know what will happen.

- It's starting. - Hello.

Who's that?

That's...

It's Christmas. Do you have a home?

Yes, but my mom is on call, so she won't be home until 11pm.

Should I go?

For once, you can stay.

Go ahead.

Even though it's not perfect,

here is a preview of the Fabulous Patar Circus!

Bravo!

What are those?

What?

- Are those fireflies? - Yes, fireflies.

Janine breeds them.

We'll use them for lights soon.

That's not a joke.

- They're pretty. - Beautiful.

- Less so when they die. - Much less.

That's rough. They only lived...

For one performance.

- But the show must go on. - Yes.

Now welcome a terrifying monster:

Cornelia!

You have a goat?

Yes.

This is Cornelia, a cross between a goat and a lion.

Look at her fantastic black and white dress

from the Patar fall collection.

- Yes! Cornelia! - Bravo!

Thank you. Let's hear it for Cornelia!

It's OK. We've got it.

We planned ahead.

It's OK, Didi. I can burp the alphabet.

OK.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight,

you will witness an exceptional wrestling match.

Let's hear some applause for Wednesday Jawbreaker...

versus Jiji the Weirdo!

Here we go!

You think you're smart.

I'll kill you.

I'll spill your intestines and your guts!

I'll strangle you!

I'll rip your heart out!

I don't have a heart?

Come on! Kill her!

You bitch!

I'll kill you! Bitch!

Screw you!

- Are you scared? - Never!

I surrender.

That's it.

And now, before your very eyes, I will...

cut Wednesday in half. - No!

A real saw? Are you nuts?

I found a tutorial. It should work.

And where'd this come from?

We traded it for a guitar we found.

A gui...

My Fender?

- My Fender? - It's not perfect yet,

but we'll be ready for the judge.

Who's "we?"

This isn't about you.

You're not going in front of a judge.

That's not right.

What? The show proves we're a family.

That's the problem.

When you face closed doors, you won't be able to open them

without the same keys as others.

We'll use the windows.

What are you thinking?

With all this crazy stuff, you're headed to a foster home!

Severine's right. You're an awful father.

There!

Janine...

It's unfair. It's disgusting what you've done.

We've been preparing for months.

You come and shut us down.

- We wanted to make you happy. - We were scared.

I hate you!

Thank you.

You're welcome. Bye.

120 euros?

That's not much for a spot like that.

Then we'll take it down.

No.

It's better than nothing.

Sign there, please.

Here's this.

Ad space for rent

Matteo, what's the point total?

22 for Harmonie

and 2 for Janine. - Well done.

Harmonie, you'll play the recorder solo in the show.

Miss, it's super boring. Can't we do something else?

"Super boring?" It's a beautiful instrument.

I'm fighting to get it back into the curriculum.

You don't have a choice.

Go on, girls. Thank you, Matteo.

That's enough!

Asshole! Bitch! Dirty whore!

- She'll hear you. - I'm not talking to you.

It's in my head. I shouldn't have said it.

Calm down.

- She's talking to herself. - Crazy.

Look.

Janine...

Evil demon, come out of this body!

That's not nice.

How cute.

He defended her.

Can I go?

We have 5 minutes.

Zen.

- Imagine they're kids. - What a weirdo!

Calm, cool, zen.

You're crazy!

Are you insane?

Miss, do something!

What's going on?

She broke my nose.

You broke her nose with... You're insane!

Go to the principal's office! I'm sick of this!

Oh, my God!

- You'll be OK. - Let me go!

I was about to get a badge when the principal called!

I had to make up a story to get out of there.

Can you imagine if the social worker found out?

I'm sorry, Denis.

Really. It wasn't on purpose.

I've been feeling weird lately.

Listen.

I understand how you're feeling,

but when you grow up, that's how it feels.

You're like a little square on the Rubik's Cube

looking for where it belongs.

It's hard, but if you hang on, you'll find it.

Understand?

No.

Then forget it.

Let's make it easy.

I'll make up an excuse to get you out of music class.

But it's my dream to be in the show!

No one cares about your dreams or your teenage problems!

We have to stay under the radar until the class is over.

Is it a teenage crisis

or not?

It's not a teenage crisis.

She needs to see a neurologist.

"A neurologist?"

It's another way to tackle the problem.

They'll find solutions.

OK, Janine?

It'll be OK.

I swear. We all go crazy in this family.

Especially me. I can't control myself.

When I search for the weird things you've been doing,

I always get this:

Tourette syndrome.

Neurotransmitters in the brain's self-control region

are disrupted in people with this syndrome.

I fight myself to have as few tics as possible.

It's exhausting.

When lots of people are around, they look at me funny.

I put my hands here.

People say, "Is she crazy?"

I started finger snapping.

I saw a doctor

and he diagnosed me.

Sometimes, I shout insults without meaning to.

People think I just want attention.

People think I'm crazy.

I feel like I'm in a bubble,

or on a cloud.

I feel like I'm stuck in something I can't control.

The syndrome gets worse in adolescence,

when the pressure to fit in rises.

- So I'm not crazy? - Not at all.

It's something else.

She has almost no tics.

I hold them in.

And then the tics come back even stronger?

Do you have school friends?

There's Robert.

You have other friends, don't you?

If it is that, how do you treat it?

Right now, we don't know how to treat the syndrome.

But you can learn to manage your excess energy.

There are behavioral therapies.

How long do they take?

It's like a marathon. It's long.

There's nothing faster?

I'll give you an antipsychotic.

No antipsychotics. No way.

She'll get a handle on herself

and everything will be fine. - No.

I'm sick of having tics, of being different from everyone.

You know?

I'm sick of being me.

I'm sick of being me. It's true.

It's a temporary treatment.

There are side effects.

You may initially see...

"What is a good parent?"

"What's your parenting philosophy?"

"What is your sense of family?"

We're together.

Harmonie...

What's a "parenting philosophy?"

Freedom?

"Due to arthritis in her fingers,

"Janine cannot play the recorder for several weeks."

Go apologize to your classmate,

and then leave.

Go on.

I'm sorry, Harmonie.

It won't happen again.

Stop it!

I'm very happy with your test results,

because you're all progressing. It's great.

Denis,

your analysis of work-life balance was excellent.

Good job. I have nothing to add.

Thank you.

Jiji!

It was so hard. She slipped on the pas de bourree.

Took you long enough.

The show was great.

Why didn't Jiji come?

Because she's tired from her treatments.

I want my mom.

Wednesday...

Wednesday, wait for me.

I didn't know

specialist fees cost a fortune.

I'm ready to come back to work.

There was nothing I could do.

It's OK.

Don't worry. Thanks.

I have to repaint my bathroom.

I could pay you to help me.

That's nice of you.

I'll be fine.

Thanks, Pierrot.

Bye, Denis.

Are you pretending?

I see you.

I'm here. Go to bed now.

Janine!

Come on!

Wake up!

Are you OK?

What did you do?

Mom...

I'm OK...

You scared me.

The Fabulous Patars

Never Give Up

Devaquet, we will picket

The Fabulous Patars

"Patary" sounds more like a circus.

Bye, Patricia.

Denis isn't here?

No. He didn't come.

Ready, Jean-Benoit?

"She wouldn't have bothered us.

- "The werewolves..." - Surprise!

Look who I found in the yard,

sad and alone.

Look what I brought!

- Corn Pops. - Real ones?

Yes. Of course they're real.

Did we win the lotto?

No. I used the credit card.

Boom! Who cares?

Just for you, honey.

- What are you getting? - Medicine.

Hang on. I wanted to...

I wanted to tell you something very important.

Your show was wonderful.

It was our family spirit exactly.

OK?

Delicious.

- Finally. - Yeah.

Did you forget the interview this morning?

- Hello to you too. - Come on, let's go!

Let me just... You have a sequin there.

There.

There. Now you're perfect. Can we go?

I forgot to tell you something.

We're not going.

Why not?

I can't react spontaneously anymore. I don't recognize myself.

You messed me up with your badges.

I do what I can with the tools I'm given.

I don't want to use your tools anymore.

OK.

What will you do?

What I'll do is...

Hire a lawyer.

I'll take out a loan for several generations to pay for it.

You're not a teen.

- A teen? - Yes.

Do you realize that despite all your expertise,

neither you or I saw how much Janine was suffering?

From now on,

she is my priority.

- Don't put it all on me! - Goodbye.

That's that.

I got rid of her.

You like her.

No. Are you joking?

Now that she's gone, can I wrestle again?

I'll sign you up for judo instead.

She wasn't wrong about it all.

You can wear a mask.

And no more

medicine.

If Robert agrees, of course.

That's it.

There.

Will it start again?

No. I have another idea.

I'll have a Basic Burger and a Chicken Burger.

Did we get a Crispy Chicken?

- Yes. We got 3. - That's 21.90 euros.

- No. - What?

I'm paying.

Where'd you get that money?

Did you sell something?

Did I tell you Kevin, in my class, his mom thinks you're cute?

You sold something of mine.

- My Walkman? My roller skates? - No, no.

Denis, you got it everywhere!

Your attention, please.

Wednesday, I'm sorry I didn't come to your dance,

and that I flipped out on my meds.

So to apologize,

I made you a present.

That's sweet.

I made them.

- You like them? - They're totally awesome!

Let me see.

- You like them? - Thanks!

- You made these? - Yes.

They're really good.

- I have presents too. - Really?

- That's for you. - Question.

Why is she in her underwear?

She's in a swimsuit.

How cute! Bunny ears.

You can wear them to school.

How do I look?

Beautiful.

And that's for you.

For me?

She's so weird.

A Rubik's Cube.

- It's so cute. Thank you. - You remember?

Are you done?

She's no zoo animal!

OK? That's enough!

Stop yelling.

- Are you nuts? - Of course they're looking.

No.

If someone next to you started having tics,

of course you'd look.

- What would you say? - I'd say...

All Patars are like that!

Stop! It's not funny!

It's been hell since I stopped my treatment.

- Hang on. - You don't get it!

It's like something is bothering you

that you can't stop.

You try, but you can't.

I understand.

I have this.

I have an idea.

The undersigned,

Jiji and Denis Patar,

agree to the following:

Denis shall...

Not eat dessert.

...not eat dessert.

I wasn't thinking of that.

Hang out with adults.

This won't be easy.

And stop smoking. E-cigarettes count as smoking.

That's hard.

Jiji Patar shall stop

making noise with anything

she finds

and control her tics in public. OK?

What about me?

Do you smoke? Are you bulimic? Do you have Tourette's?

- No. - So?

We need something to give ourselves, like badges,

when we complete a task, to reward ourselves.

How about this?

- A spoon. - It's stupid.

A spoon for every task we do. High 5!

No. This is better.

With ketchup? OK.

That's good.

I will honor the contract.

Me too. With my blood.

Blood pact!

Come on, Denis.

Come on.

- Ta-da! - What's that doing there?

- What's that? - E-cig.

Goodbye.

Here. A spoon.

Thank you.

Ready, Janine?

Ready, Denis?

Go.

Fine motor skills.

Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand.

- Faster. - Fucking sponge!

Yes.

Bad words.

I read about it online. It's called "coprolalia."

You say bad words without wanting to.

When you say, "Dammit, Janine,"

is that copro-whatever?

Now I really want to say, "fuck."

Cheater!

I won!

Spoon.

Say cheese!

We're trying a more effective therapy.

Cornelia!

Goat therapy.

It was hard to get a prescription from the neurologist.

My wife died 3 years ago.

I'm still paying taxes on her salary.

I don't see a record of her death certificate.

Are you sure you sent it?

Yes.

Then I'll have to start a whole new file.

You'll have to be patient, sir.

No, honey. Not here.

- Not now. - What?

- Bitch! - Don't worry.

It will pass.

- Not now... - Should I call someone?

No. There's nothing to do. Tourette's.

Poor thing...

I'll see what I can do.

Given your situation...

Thanks. That's kind.

There. All done.

Thank you.

You'll receive a refund within a week.

- Good luck. - I'll need it.

That was some Tourette's crisis!

Better than last time.

This thing is awesome.

No!

At city hall, I'll use it

when they calculate our allowance.

Let's go!

We're on a roll! Let's keep going! Let's go see Pierrot!

Something crazy happened last night.

Someone trashed the automatic registers.

How?

"Someone" poured some kind of sticky liquid,

like an aphrodisiac massage oil, all over them.

Diabolical yet ingenious.

They're all broken.

So we're looking for a more old-fashioned type of clerk.

The problem is I found a better paying job.

What if I give you a raise and add meal tickets?

Insurance?

Class B. I can't do any better.

Forget it.

Low-baller.

OK. You win.

Parenting Class Evaluation

Neither God nor math teacher

Come on, let me go!

Let me go! Come on!

Stop it!

Hello, Severine.

They do that every time I go buy cigarettes.

It's embarrassing.

Is there a problem?

I hesitated to come, but don't you think we should talk?

Yeah.

I've thought a lot about your decision not to go to the interview.

If I put myself in your shoes, I think it was brave.

It wasn't calculated.

I know.

I'd like to follow my intuition

and not think of consequences.

I always have to weigh the pros and cons.

It's heart versus reason.

Or reason versus emotion.

The heart has its reasons

of which reason knows nothing.

Blaise Pascal.

Hey.

Any reason to get into the sack is a good one.

That's Coluche.

It's funny.

I can't figure you out.

It's not a bad thing.

That's... I remember.

That's nonverbal communication,

when you do that with your hair.

Yes. My classes aren't so bad after all.

No. They stick.

They sink in.

Well done, Denis. Thanks for your participation.

- You did it. - Yeah.

"Did it?"

What did he do?

We get spoons instead of badges for doing a task.

What was the task?

It falls under "talk to a girl older than 14."

What are you...

I see. So I'm a task?

No!

That's good...

I didn't know.

I have work to do.

I just wanted to say that. See you soon, girls.

Bye!

- Wait... - See you soon.

I was being sincere.

You two...

No one cares about spoons! We were having an adult conversation.

You're always in my way. I need some space.

- Take your spoon. - You earned it.

I don't want it.

We messed up with Severine.

- We were idiots. - Yeah.

How's your list coming?

I clean my desk every night, I can almost tie my shoes

and I'm controlling my tics more.

You're a real fighter.

More than me.

I can't go.

You go. I'll wait here.

I'm going.

If you can't face reality,

you'll keep lying to us and we'll never move on.

Like,

what will happen when Wednesday and I leave?

I don't know. I'll get bored.

That won't do,

so we'll stay and throw our lives away.

You have to accept it.

It's like Ziggy.

We know he keeps dying and you keep replacing him.

Nonsense!

He's never the same color.

Everyone knows

when guinea pigs molt, they change color.

Everyone knows.

Ziggy,

when I first met you,

the way you wiggled your nose at me was irresistible.

You were the smartest rodent

I ever met.

You fought against everything,

and I fought

with you.

I loved the way you got me to join your fights

against GMOs in sunflower seeds,

for the liberation of Tibetan gerbils,

and especially against hyenas in power.

And thankfully,

your daughters, your friends...

inherited your extraordinary energy.

You told me,

in your guinea pig language,

that another world was possible.

Thanks for taking me to live on Mars.

End of transmission.

You OK?

You scared me.

I'll do the bathroom.

Great. Thanks. It could've waited. It's not urgent.

The color is... dark taupe.

Dark taupe is sad.

I wanted something lighter.

Denis, no.

Come here.

Patar. The father didn't attend the final interview.

He broke the moral contract.

That's irresponsible.

Hang on. He didn't take a preschool class hostage.

The children are not living in a healthy environment,

and he is out of touch with reality.

According to your report,

he's not an ideal father.

Hang on.

Do you know ideal parents?

- No. That's not the issue. - Yes, it is.

You, for example.

Your dad has a great job. Your mom stayed home with you,

so you're perfect.

That's not the reality.

Even with stable parents, you have issues.

You, Francky. Jewish father and Muslim mother.

- How's the Gaza Strip? - Fine.

- I don't see... - He's not a typical case.

There is no model.

So the father...

Yes, his house is a bit messy.

I don't get it.

He's denying reality. We're not here to debate it.

What's the problem?

They lost a mother. Don't take them from their father.

Is this based on your evaluation?

Yes. But I've looked into it further.

We're here to help children, objectively.

- I'm being objective. - No, you're not.

I didn't have all the information at first,

like on Jiji's illness.

That's important.

It's not.

What matters is the father and protecting these children.

You're a little too biased in favor of Mr. Patar.

He did not keep his commitments.

I'm notifying the judge.

Give him 1 more chance. You should see them together.

I'm not budging.

If you have other evidence, maybe.

But for now, I'm notifying the judge.

Next case.

Alexis Tales.

To Ms. Grellot

"Listen to me"

This is just a message... well, a cassette,

to say I'm sorry about the spoon incident.

Even if you do your best,

the girls and I have a plan B

if the judge is against us.

We'll move to Nievre or Creuse.

We're still debating.

We'll go out like Bonnie and Clyde, but with no gun,

just a goat and a Thermos of hot chocolate.

Yesterday, we ate zucchini.

It wasn't great, but it wasn't disgusting either.

And you're not a task,

Severine Grellot.

OK, well...

Bye.

End of transmission.

Thanks to our 6th graders.

Let's hear it for them. Thanks.

You can keep clapping.

Keep going.

Did you come to watch?

Actually, I'd like to participate in the show.

You can't. You haven't rehearsed.

I know it all.

Not enough.

You can't stand between a child and her dream.

I can't.

Please!

- Mr. Patar... - Violaine!

Please.

It would be unfair to those who worked.

I can't. It would jeopardize their work.

Please welcome Ms. Kramel's

6th grade class playing Le Temps des cerises.

It's OK.

I would've messed it up anyway.

I would've been a loser and disappointed you.

No!

Let me tell you something for once.

No matter what you do, you'll never disappoint me. Clear?

Thanks, Dad.

"Dad?"

Hi, Didi. How are you?

Where's your family?

You don't know?

I'm here, in case.

It won't be as fun without you.

You'll do great.

It's a song

as old as our town.

It's a beautiful love song.

Let's find your sister.

I don't want to watch.

Why not? We're not going to stay here.

Too bad. It would've been fun.

- No? - No.

You know what?

We'll do something together,

Patar-style.

- OK. - We'll get kicked out.

- Does it matter? - No.

OK. Listen to me.

Robert,

I need to talk to you later.

I saw what you did before.

Look at me.

Calm, cool, zen.

Calm,

cool,

zen.

You do that.

Yes. You do that.

You do that.

Keep going.

Severine.

That's good.

Come on! Don't be slow!

I'm a little slow. Hang on.

Come on. Do it.

Go like this.

Yes, Matteo! Come on!

Come on, Capucine!

Patar power!

Yes!

Come on, Severine!

Come on!

Make some noise!

I can't hear you!

Go!

Jiji, I love you!

She's my sister.

Cool!

That's my daughter.

Someone really fought for you.

I'm going.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

I was testing a concept:

the open-air interview.

That was my boss.

That was... Oh, OK.

Right. We were really skirting disaster.

That was close.

Very, very close.

Would you...

Would you like to have a drink?

Well...

I'll probably regret it, but we're not ready yet.

Are we a little ready?

She's still a little here, isn't she?

You have to give her time.

You're right.

Well, I'm going to go. I have other families to help.

Yes. You're a real Mary Poppins.

You fix families, then you leave.

What if you stayed for once?

Mary Poppins is a little scared to commit.

So her life sucks.

I'll wait in front of the chimney.

- You never know. - OK.

The chimney is Santa Claus.

Oh, right. I get them mixed up.

OK, well...

OK, well... Goodbye.

Supercali...

Supercalifragilisti...

Superfragi...

No. You know what she says.

Yes. Expialidocious?

Yes. Expialidocious.

Bye.

- Ready to go? - Yes.

Zen.

- Where's Didi? - I don't know.

- Stop! - Don't make fun of my sister.

Get out of here, scum!

- Are you ready? - Yes.

- Shall we? - Come on.

Let's go.

Robert!

Robert! Stop!

- Run! - Go! Faster!

Go, Dad! Faster!

Go, Denis!

How do you do it?

- What class? - French.

- I'll give you 5. Is that good? - Yeah.

- Thanks. Bye. - Thanks. Next.

Swim class. I don't like swimsuits.

5 euros, please. Thank you.

Next.

- For what class? - Math test, Monday.

I'll give you 10 big ones. That'll get you out of it.

But really scratch, or the teachers won't believe you.

5 euros, please. Thank you.

- Sorry. There are none left. - Really?

Lice Avoid your problems

End of transmission.

For my mother and father. Martine Patary

Never forget you're a ninja!

Subtitles: Eclair Media