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00:00:06,958 --> 00:00:10,958
www.titlovi.com
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00:00:13,958 --> 00:00:17,083
[DELTA SPIRIT'S TRASHCAN
PLAYING]
3
00:00:36,792 --> 00:00:39,792
Brothers, hold the line?
4
00:00:39,958 --> 00:00:44,083
Till we got something?
5
00:00:47,958 --> 00:00:51,833
This world is way too small?
6
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,292
To feel like nothing?
7
00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:02,292
I was found near
The train tracks?
8
00:01:02,417 --> 00:01:06,750
Looking so homeless at you?
9
00:01:09,750 --> 00:01:11,583
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
10
00:01:11,750 --> 00:01:14,000
You came like a copper?
11
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:17,208
You said
"Son, it's time to move?
12
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:27,000
My love is comin'
I can barely hardly wait?
13
00:01:29,041 --> 00:01:31,083
Around?
14
00:01:35,416 --> 00:01:37,250
See you, Cal.
15
00:01:37,416 --> 00:01:39,333
Well, if you hide
Your questions?
16
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,791
[IMITATES EXPLOSION
THEN LAUGHS]
17
00:01:41,958 --> 00:01:44,916
There: no answer?
18
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:47,708
I finally found the cure?
19
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,791
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
20
00:01:49,958 --> 00:01:53,416
For my own cancer?
21
00:01:53,875 --> 00:01:56,375
Yeah, yeah?
22
00:01:56,541 --> 00:01:58,291
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
23
00:01:58,458 --> 00:02:00,666
Sue, no, no, no!
24
00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:03,208
Kill yourself on your own time.
25
00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:05,166
My heart is thumpin'?
26
00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:08,041
I can feel it mom
With every beet?
27
00:02:09,875 --> 00:02:13,250
My love is coming'
I can barely hardly wait?
28
00:02:15,958 --> 00:02:19,041
Around?
29
00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:21,375
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
30
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,458
[CROWD CHEERING]
31
00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:32,833
[NASHVILLE PUSSY'S
COME ON COME ON PLAYING]
32
00:02:39,916 --> 00:02:42,250
According
to the Art of War by Sun Tzu,
33
00:02:42,416 --> 00:02:45,416
every battle is won and lost
before it is fought.
34
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:47,500
Well, then I guess
you've already lost.
35
00:02:50,916 --> 00:02:54,166
Oh, that's not very sportsmanlike.
Let's fucking go!
36
00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:56,750
[ENGINES REVVING]
37
00:02:56,916 --> 00:02:58,541
[McCRUDDEN YELLS]
38
00:02:58,708 --> 00:03:00,166
I ain't gain to hell with you?
39
00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:04,916
That: alright now, baby
Just one last thing on my mind?
40
00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:08,958
Some say?
Come on, come on, come on?
41
00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:10,375
Fuck, yeah?
42
00:03:10,541 --> 00:03:12,625
[CHEERING]
43
00:03:12,791 --> 00:03:15,791
[SIREN WAILING]
44
00:03:15,958 --> 00:03:19,583
Fuck, yeah
Come on, come on, come on?
45
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:23,125
Ladies. Hi again.
46
00:03:23,291 --> 00:03:25,083
This is the third time
we've been out.
47
00:03:25,250 --> 00:03:26,791
I know.
We're shutting this down.
48
00:03:26,958 --> 00:03:29,666
You don't wanna shut the party down.
You wanna join us.
49
00:03:29,833 --> 00:03:33,125
Why don't you put the guns in
the car and you come on in?
50
00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:35,500
Hey, Bill.
Sorry I'm late, buddy.
51
00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:37,541
Fucking Map Quest.
I know it, bro.
52
00:03:37,708 --> 00:03:40,416
I'm right with you with that shit.
Look, guys.
53
00:03:40,583 --> 00:03:44,041
Is this about earlier? When you first
came, I thought you were strippers?
54
00:03:44,208 --> 00:03:47,500
Because that was an accident.
You're just very attractive.
55
00:03:47,666 --> 00:03:48,958
Those uniforms are banging.
56
00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:52,416
If we have to come out here
again, it's a $1000 fine.
57
00:03:52,583 --> 00:03:54,583
Close it down.
Okay.
58
00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:55,958
Message received.
59
00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:57,458
It's done.
You have my word.
60
00:03:57,625 --> 00:04:00,416
I'm gonna go inside,
get on the mike, shut it down.
61
00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:03,416
BOTH:? Johnny, rosin up your
bow And play your fiddle hard?
62
00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:05,250
? Cause hell's broke loose
In Georgia?
63
00:04:05,416 --> 00:04:07,250
? And the devil deals
The cards?
64
00:04:07,416 --> 00:04:09,541
? And if you win
You'll get this shiny?
65
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,000
? Fiddle made of gold?
66
00:04:11,166 --> 00:04:14,666
? But if you lose
The devil gels your soul?'
67
00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:19,583
I don't understand why you
won't just put it on.
68
00:04:19,708 --> 00:04:21,833
Because I don't
find the notion of mocking
69
00:04:22,041 --> 00:04:24,750
the American underclass
as amusing as your friends do,
70
00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:27,583
and because I don't share
your desperate need to fit in.
71
00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:30,666
By not putting the wig on,
you are setting yourself
72
00:04:30,833 --> 00:04:32,208
and me apart from my friends,
73
00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:35,166
which is a controlling
and hostile gesture.
74
00:04:35,333 --> 00:04:36,750
Fine.
75
00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:41,875
Happy now?
Yes.
76
00:04:42,041 --> 00:04:44,333
Now I'm Mr. Fun Times.
I'm very happy. Thank you.
77
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:45,541
I'm going for a smoke.
78
00:04:45,708 --> 00:04:48,291
Good, because
it's a fucking costume party.
79
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,624
Do we need to talk
quietly around her?
80
00:04:53,791 --> 00:04:56,208
Oh, no, no, no.
She sleeps through anything.
81
00:04:56,374 --> 00:04:57,791
Yes, you do.
82
00:04:57,999 --> 00:05:02,208
When the babysitter bailed, Glenn and I were
like, 'Fuck it.' We have missed every party.
83
00:05:02,374 --> 00:05:04,374
No way we're missing
the White Trash Bash.
84
00:05:04,541 --> 00:05:08,083
Give it up for Glenn.
Glenn's getting married soon.
85
00:05:08,249 --> 00:05:10,499
I really did it.
86
00:05:10,666 --> 00:05:12,041
Aww.
87
00:05:12,208 --> 00:05:14,291
What's the deal with your
bachelorette weekend?
88
00:05:14,458 --> 00:05:15,833
Yeah!
I think it's gonna be
89
00:05:15,999 --> 00:05:17,874
more of a bachelorette night.
90
00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:21,708
And it's gonna be at
my folks' place in Jersey.
91
00:05:22,416 --> 00:05:24,833
Oh.
Sorry.
92
00:05:24,999 --> 00:05:27,416
That's gonna be fine.
That's totally fine.
93
00:05:27,583 --> 00:05:28,833
Has anyone seen Glenn?
94
00:05:28,999 --> 00:05:31,583
Human torpedo!
95
00:05:31,749 --> 00:05:34,041
[WILLIE AND ME'S
'NORTH CAROLINA' PLAYING]
96
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:36,666
[ALL YELLING]
97
00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:41,999
[SCREAMS THEN GROANS]
98
00:05:43,749 --> 00:05:45,874
It's okay.
He's a doctor.
99
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,249
[ALL CHEERING]
100
00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:52,166
Hey, buttheads,
you guys seen Duquez?
101
00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,208
Will you relax
with the doughnuts?
102
00:05:54,374 --> 00:05:58,458
Oh, sweetie, I want to. I'm trying to push
the savory and all they want is the sweet.
103
00:05:58,624 --> 00:05:59,874
I promise you no one cares.
104
00:06:00,041 --> 00:06:02,291
Hey. Where the fuck
are the doughnuts?
105
00:06:02,708 --> 00:06:03,791
Except him.
106
00:06:04,124 --> 00:06:06,208
Guess what.
D. Duquez is AWOL.
107
00:06:06,374 --> 00:06:09,791
That is unacceptable.
I goth have it out with that guy.
108
00:06:09,958 --> 00:06:11,624
ALISON:
Like the doughnut police.
109
00:06:11,791 --> 00:06:14,291
Hey, get off of that thing.
It's Saturday night.
110
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:17,958
Well, it's Sunday in Korea, and those
motherfuckers don't stop working.
111
00:06:18,124 --> 00:06:20,374
They make the Japanese
look like Jamaicans.
112
00:06:20,541 --> 00:06:23,666
Is that the new blackberry?
Yes, it is. Got it at the office.
113
00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:26,958
As punishment for not dressing up,
I'm putting this down my pants.
114
00:06:27,124 --> 00:06:29,041
No, no, no.
Just don't do that.
115
00:06:29,208 --> 00:06:30,666
My dick's checking your e-mail.
116
00:06:30,833 --> 00:06:32,499
I'm sending a text.
Don't do that.
117
00:06:32,666 --> 00:06:35,458
You have my life in your pants.
You cocksucker.
118
00:06:35,624 --> 00:06:36,833
[LAUGHING]
119
00:06:36,999 --> 00:06:38,416
? North Carolina?
120
00:06:39,541 --> 00:06:42,749
? How kind will she be??'
121
00:06:43,541 --> 00:06:46,541
Hey, you two, get a room
or get a video camera.
122
00:06:46,708 --> 00:06:48,708
Whoo!
123
00:06:48,874 --> 00:06:50,499
Hello. Excuse me, miss.
Hi.
124
00:06:50,666 --> 00:06:53,249
My name is Eric. This is my house.
My party, sort of.
125
00:06:53,416 --> 00:06:56,624
You're looking at a bunch of options.
This is the one you want.
126
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,249
This is the finest box of wine
in the county.
127
00:06:59,416 --> 00:07:00,583
Really?
Yes, delicious
128
00:07:00,749 --> 00:07:04,708
It has absolutely no body and an
amazing cough-syrupy aftertaste.
129
00:07:04,874 --> 00:07:06,124
Go ahead.
Cheers.
130
00:07:06,291 --> 00:07:09,124
Don't get it on your skin.
All right?
131
00:07:09,291 --> 00:07:10,958
Oh. Yeah.
KELLY: Wow.
132
00:07:11,124 --> 00:07:13,166
ERIC: Not bad, right?
Mmm. Really good wine.
133
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:14,583
Mm-hm.
134
00:07:14,749 --> 00:07:16,666
Even better bean dip.
That's not bean dip!
135
00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:18,374
What?
I'm kidding.
136
00:07:18,541 --> 00:07:20,374
You knew that.
That's awesome.
137
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,666
You're the first person
to eat out of that.
138
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:25,624
Not many people are thrilled
about eating out of a shitter.
139
00:07:25,791 --> 00:07:28,999
Really? In prison, we used
our crapper as a punchbowl.
140
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:30,541
Really? No kidding?
141
00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:33,208
I have never seen you
at one of these things.
142
00:07:33,374 --> 00:07:35,416
First time.
We'll have to change that.
143
00:07:35,583 --> 00:07:37,583
We do these kind of things
all the time.
144
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,999
You know, Labor Day. We're gonna
have a big Winter Wonderland party.
145
00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:42,624
Wow.
Snow machine.
146
00:07:42,791 --> 00:07:44,874
Gonna be sledding.
Should be interesting.
147
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:46,874
Give me your information.
Ehh!
148
00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:48,166
What?
Information?
149
00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:49,541
Are you kidding me?
No.
150
00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:50,749
Really?
Yes.
151
00:07:50,916 --> 00:07:52,041
Yes, like what?
152
00:07:52,208 --> 00:07:54,541
Like my social security number,
my college GPA?
153
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:57,958
Why don't we shirt with your
phone number and your shoe size?
154
00:08:00,833 --> 00:08:03,583
I happen to have a pen.
Of course you have a pen.
155
00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:06,374
You gotta be ready.
Always be prepared.
156
00:08:06,541 --> 00:08:07,666
Ah, ah, ah.
What?
157
00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:09,833
On my baby.
Look at that.
158
00:08:09,999 --> 00:08:13,083
Oh, I'm so jealous of
this baby. I'm so jealous.
159
00:08:13,249 --> 00:08:16,749
Oh, you wanna get out, I wanna get in there.
Ha-ha-ha. I'm kidding.
160
00:08:16,916 --> 00:08:18,583
Kelly, local number?
161
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:19,791
Local girl.
162
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,041
You kidding me?
Get out.
163
00:08:21,207 --> 00:08:22,666
Size 9 shoe.
Mm-hm.
164
00:08:22,832 --> 00:08:25,332
You know what they say.
'Big shoe, big uterus.'
165
00:08:25,499 --> 00:08:26,541
[MOTORCYCLE REVS]
166
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,666
I'll bring friends.
Real sorry.
167
00:08:28,832 --> 00:08:31,374
If you excuse me, I see an
old friend just showed up.
168
00:08:31,541 --> 00:08:32,624
I'll talk to you liner
169
00:08:32,791 --> 00:08:34,291
Okay.
Nice meeting you.
170
00:08:34,457 --> 00:08:35,916
Nice to meet you too.
Hey, fucko.
171
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,582
Excuse me.
172
00:08:37,749 --> 00:08:39,666
ALISON:
I'm really mad, actually.
173
00:08:39,832 --> 00:08:41,791
What's wrong with this guy?
Bye, guys.
174
00:08:41,957 --> 00:08:43,291
Daddy's goth go home.
175
00:08:43,457 --> 00:08:45,707
One more for the road.
Shotgun!
176
00:08:45,874 --> 00:08:47,041
Oh!
177
00:08:47,207 --> 00:08:48,957
Michael.
I wasn't ready. Throw another.
178
00:08:49,124 --> 00:08:51,124
Asshole.
You're supposed to catch that.
179
00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:52,666
Come on, baby, we're going.
180
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:53,916
Bye, guys.
- Bye, Katie.
181
00:08:54,082 --> 00:08:55,791
I'm sorry if I got beer
on your baby.
182
00:08:56,166 --> 00:08:57,666
You, you.
Where have you been?
183
00:08:57,832 --> 00:08:59,957
I'm sorry. There was
a mess in the studio.
184
00:09:00,124 --> 00:09:02,041
There was this
buzzing undertone
185
00:09:02,207 --> 00:09:04,624
that was bending me over
and fucking me in the ass.
186
00:09:04,791 --> 00:09:06,791
Yeah. I'm not seeing
any doughnuts.
187
00:09:06,957 --> 00:09:08,957
You specifically
said get the glazed.
188
00:09:09,124 --> 00:09:11,457
They didn't have glazed.
I tried. There was jelly.
189
00:09:11,624 --> 00:09:14,916
There was Boston cream.
Jelly, Boston cream.
190
00:09:15,082 --> 00:09:17,957
Eric, I have a whole package
of ginger candies in my bag.
191
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:20,291
Hi, Willow.
192
00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:22,457
Mmm, thank you.
But we're gonna be okay.
193
00:09:22,582 --> 00:09:24,416
McCRUDDEN:
I found you a big brown naked!
194
00:09:24,582 --> 00:09:26,499
I can't get it off!
I can't shake it off!
195
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:29,291
Hey, everybody
naked in the pool.
196
00:09:29,457 --> 00:09:31,749
[ALL CHEERING]
197
00:09:34,124 --> 00:09:36,082
Well, that's a half hour
ahead of schedule.
198
00:09:37,916 --> 00:09:40,582
Yeah! Anybody?
199
00:09:40,749 --> 00:09:42,166
Anybody?
200
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,666
Oh, you all suck.
Chickens hit.
201
00:09:44,832 --> 00:09:47,124
Want me to go to Brent's?
Pick up Entenmann's?
202
00:09:47,291 --> 00:09:48,332
Don't worry about it.
203
00:09:48,499 --> 00:09:50,416
Now I'm gonna go jump
in that pool
204
00:09:50,541 --> 00:09:52,499
because McCrudden
is dying in there alone.
205
00:09:52,666 --> 00:09:55,749
That's what friends do.
See, they don't leave each other hanging.
206
00:09:55,916 --> 00:09:58,249
Where's your patriotism?
207
00:09:58,416 --> 00:09:59,457
My man.
208
00:09:59,624 --> 00:10:01,124
I got you.
209
00:10:03,582 --> 00:10:05,207
My fucking blackberry.
210
00:10:05,374 --> 00:10:07,582
[ALL YELLING]
211
00:10:09,791 --> 00:10:11,999
[SIREN WAILING]
212
00:10:19,624 --> 00:10:21,541
[FLY BUZZING]
213
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,457
[MOOS]
214
00:10:30,707 --> 00:10:32,207
Dad, what are you doing here?
215
00:10:32,374 --> 00:10:34,124
Uh, hmm.
216
00:10:34,291 --> 00:10:37,374
Oh, yeah, I own the place.
Cherie, this is my son, Eric.
217
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,749
Hi.
He's told me all about you.
218
00:10:39,916 --> 00:10:41,707
[MOOS]
219
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:42,957
Ah, yeah.
220
00:10:43,124 --> 00:10:45,332
Great party. Thanks for
letting us sleep it off.
221
00:10:45,499 --> 00:10:47,124
ERIC:
No problem.
222
00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:49,999
Hm. It must have been
quite a flesh.
223
00:10:50,166 --> 00:10:51,332
Oh, yeah, I guess so.
224
00:10:51,499 --> 00:10:53,166
Did the best I could
with the turds.
225
00:10:53,332 --> 00:10:56,832
I know you did, Bill. I wish you would
have let me know you were coming out.
226
00:10:56,999 --> 00:10:59,041
Maybe we can throw someone
down on a couch.
227
00:10:59,207 --> 00:11:00,666
Ah, we're not staying.
228
00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:05,207
I just came out for the day to do a
meet-and-greet with the brokers.
229
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:06,457
Brokers?
230
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,416
You got the message, right?
231
00:11:08,582 --> 00:11:10,499
ERIC:
I saw that you called.
232
00:11:10,666 --> 00:11:12,666
I'm putting the house
on the market.
233
00:11:13,666 --> 00:11:15,749
What? Wait, you're selling
our house?
234
00:11:16,916 --> 00:11:20,207
Ah, I'm hardly ever
out here any more.
235
00:11:20,374 --> 00:11:22,832
It's time to unload.
236
00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:24,249
But hey, what about me?
237
00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:28,457
I'm always out here.
My friends are always out here.
238
00:11:29,082 --> 00:11:30,832
So make me an offer.
239
00:11:31,499 --> 00:11:33,082
Ah. Ha-ha-ha.
240
00:11:33,416 --> 00:11:35,624
Dad, come on.
I don't ask you for anything.
241
00:11:35,791 --> 00:11:37,666
How about this?
We go get breakfast.
242
00:11:37,832 --> 00:11:39,457
We talk over
the house situation.
243
00:11:39,624 --> 00:11:41,707
Maybe we all can chip in
for utilities?
244
00:11:41,874 --> 00:11:43,791
Ah, I'm a little pressed
for time, kiddo.
245
00:11:44,499 --> 00:11:48,457
We're gonna go play a quick nine
and then goth get back.
246
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,332
Cherie's never played before.
247
00:11:50,499 --> 00:11:51,790
I'm so excited.
248
00:11:51,957 --> 00:11:53,457
Dad, this is fucking bullshit.
249
00:11:53,624 --> 00:11:56,624
I'll call you next week.
We'll do yoga.
250
00:12:06,457 --> 00:12:07,790
[McCRUDDEN GROANS]
251
00:12:07,957 --> 00:12:10,582
I've said it before
and I'll say it again.
252
00:12:10,749 --> 00:12:13,332
Your dad is a selfish prick.
253
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,457
Smoothie?
Ooh.
254
00:12:15,624 --> 00:12:17,665
It's gonna be sad
not coming out here.
255
00:12:17,832 --> 00:12:20,249
Me and Willy might not
even be around next summer.
256
00:12:20,415 --> 00:12:22,749
The L.A. thing again?
Are you serious?
257
00:12:22,915 --> 00:12:24,915
You just moved into
that place in Brooklyn.
258
00:12:25,082 --> 00:12:27,332
But Willow's doing really
good with her acting.
259
00:12:27,499 --> 00:12:30,207
She did that Pizza Hut
Latin America commercial.
260
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,415
ALL:
Ooh, deliciosa!
261
00:12:32,582 --> 00:12:33,749
[LAUGHS]
262
00:12:33,915 --> 00:12:36,582
Her dad is gonna hook me up
with a job at a big law firm.
263
00:12:36,749 --> 00:12:37,957
What about the album?
264
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,124
I'll work on the album
while I'm doing law.
265
00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:42,624
Yeah? Will you?
You know what I'm excited about?
266
00:12:42,790 --> 00:12:45,665
Throwing one of these parties
in my one-bedroom apartment.
267
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,165
That'll be fun, right?
268
00:12:47,332 --> 00:12:49,749
Maybe I can put
the food out on the fire escape.
269
00:12:49,915 --> 00:12:51,707
Eric.
ERIC: The band in the bathroom.
270
00:12:51,874 --> 00:12:53,207
I have to get more outlets.
271
00:12:53,374 --> 00:12:55,665
I'll get a power strip.
Why not? I'll splurge.
272
00:12:55,832 --> 00:12:57,249
ALISON: Eric.
What?
273
00:12:57,415 --> 00:12:58,749
This is a major moment.
274
00:12:58,915 --> 00:13:01,457
It's okay to let the hurt in.
275
00:13:01,624 --> 00:13:04,665
To allow yourself to actually
be present in a moment.
276
00:13:04,832 --> 00:13:07,582
Okay, thanks, doc. You really
make the moment more real
277
00:13:07,749 --> 00:13:10,374
by talking about how real
the moment is in the middle.
278
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,540
No, I understand.
You're probably feeling
279
00:13:13,707 --> 00:13:15,915
some anger and some
misdirected frustra...
280
00:13:16,082 --> 00:13:17,540
[SCREAMS]
281
00:13:17,707 --> 00:13:19,707
Feel better now?
A little bit, yeah.
282
00:13:19,874 --> 00:13:21,499
Dude, that was awesome.
Oh, fuck!
283
00:13:21,665 --> 00:13:22,707
ALL:
Oh!
284
00:13:22,874 --> 00:13:24,207
What about now?
285
00:13:24,374 --> 00:13:25,499
Oh, much better.
286
00:13:25,665 --> 00:13:27,290
Now I'm in the moment.
287
00:13:28,915 --> 00:13:31,040
McCRUDDEN: I don't
understand summer school.
288
00:13:31,207 --> 00:13:33,832
Isn't the point of being a teacher
that you get summers off?
289
00:13:33,999 --> 00:13:37,165
Well, they pay us poop, so,
what am I gonna do, waitress?
290
00:13:37,332 --> 00:13:39,832
Oh, my God, the big news.
291
00:13:39,957 --> 00:13:43,165
So the principal told me today
292
00:13:43,332 --> 00:13:48,749
that the friendship bracelets that the girls
are wearing are actually sex bracelets.
293
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:49,999
Hmm.
What?
294
00:13:50,165 --> 00:13:52,165
I saw something
about that on Oprah.
295
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,499
Girls wear these different
color bracelets
296
00:13:54,665 --> 00:13:57,499
and every color represents,
like, a sex thing.
297
00:13:57,665 --> 00:14:00,165
So if you tear off a girl's
blue bracelet,
298
00:14:00,332 --> 00:14:02,165
that means
she has to give you oral.
299
00:14:02,332 --> 00:14:03,999
Yup.
What's a yellow bracelet?
300
00:14:04,165 --> 00:14:05,290
Uh, a hug.
301
00:14:05,457 --> 00:14:06,749
ALL: Aww.
Oh, sweet.
302
00:14:06,915 --> 00:14:08,999
I know.
What about purple?
303
00:14:09,165 --> 00:14:10,165
Teabagging?
304
00:14:10,332 --> 00:14:11,915
ALL:
Oh!
305
00:14:12,082 --> 00:14:13,165
Really?
306
00:14:13,332 --> 00:14:15,290
Well, what is teabagging?
307
00:14:15,457 --> 00:14:16,499
Balls in mouth.
308
00:14:16,665 --> 00:14:18,290
Oh, no!
309
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:21,165
Teabagging?
What is with the kids today?
310
00:14:21,332 --> 00:14:23,999
Well, the blowjob
is the new French kiss.
311
00:14:24,165 --> 00:14:26,124
Wow, we really missed
the boat on that one.
312
00:14:26,290 --> 00:14:28,957
I feel like if we had had
sex bracelets back then,
313
00:14:29,124 --> 00:14:30,707
no one would have
torn mine off.
314
00:14:30,874 --> 00:14:33,082
Ohh. No, no, no, sweetie.
315
00:14:33,249 --> 00:14:35,457
I would have torn off
your BJ bracelet.
316
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:38,249
You're just saying that,
but thanks, Eric.
317
00:14:38,415 --> 00:14:40,040
Thanks for letting me blow you.
318
00:14:40,207 --> 00:14:42,457
ERIC: You're welcome.
LAURA: You're a good friend.
319
00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:44,749
[CAMERA CLICKS]
320
00:14:46,790 --> 00:14:49,290
Hey, Dody.
WOMAN: Mm-hm?
321
00:14:50,499 --> 00:14:52,290
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
322
00:14:52,457 --> 00:14:54,790
Hi. Can I help you?
323
00:14:54,957 --> 00:14:56,582
Are you Eric?
Yes.
324
00:14:56,749 --> 00:14:58,749
Hi. We spoke on the phone.
325
00:14:58,915 --> 00:15:01,582
I'm Dody Henderson from
the Henderson Realty Group.
326
00:15:01,749 --> 00:15:03,665
And this is my associate
Kelly Tanner.
327
00:15:03,832 --> 00:15:06,249
Hi. How are you?
Hi.
328
00:15:07,624 --> 00:15:08,665
No, thank you.
329
00:15:08,832 --> 00:15:09,915
Lame.
330
00:15:10,082 --> 00:15:11,082
Oh, I shouldn't.
Mm-hm.
331
00:15:12,415 --> 00:15:15,165
We can't wait
to get your house sold.
332
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:17,582
We need this place
clean, clean every day.
333
00:15:17,748 --> 00:15:19,248
Water the lawns, skim the pool.
334
00:15:19,373 --> 00:15:23,665
You never know when buyers are gonna
stop by to say hi and buy, buy.
335
00:15:23,832 --> 00:15:25,623
Oh, B-U-Y! Ha, ha!
336
00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:27,832
Whatever.
337
00:15:27,998 --> 00:15:31,915
Oh, and make sure the toilets
are clean enough to eat out of.
338
00:15:32,082 --> 00:15:33,582
Yeah, whatever.
339
00:15:34,082 --> 00:15:36,873
Maybe I should sprinkle some
rose petals on the driveway too.
340
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,582
Just do what you can.
341
00:15:38,748 --> 00:15:41,290
Will do.
Wow.
342
00:15:41,457 --> 00:15:44,748
What are the chances of maybe selling
this sometime after Labor Day?
343
00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:48,040
You wanna sell a summer home
during the summer.
344
00:15:48,207 --> 00:15:49,415
That's kind of the point.
345
00:15:50,290 --> 00:15:52,332
So glad we're in
business together.
346
00:15:52,498 --> 00:15:53,748
Om shanti.
347
00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:56,248
Om shanti it is.
348
00:15:59,665 --> 00:16:02,207
Vultures.
Yeesh.
349
00:16:02,373 --> 00:16:03,373
[SIGHS]
350
00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:06,082
It's light. It's light.
351
00:16:06,248 --> 00:16:08,373
We should put it up closer.
Like there?
352
00:16:08,540 --> 00:16:11,915
McCRUDDEN: Oh, yeah.
That'll bring in all the right clientele.
353
00:16:20,998 --> 00:16:24,248
Listen. Have you given any more thought
to the final Labor Day blowout?
354
00:16:24,415 --> 00:16:25,582
I really don't know.
355
00:16:25,748 --> 00:16:28,123
I mean, obviously,
we goth do something huge.
356
00:16:28,290 --> 00:16:30,582
But what do you do
for a final blowout?
357
00:16:30,748 --> 00:16:33,332
Go out in a blaze of glory.
Heads held high.
358
00:16:33,498 --> 00:16:34,915
I get it.
Deserved.
359
00:16:35,082 --> 00:16:36,832
Holy shit. Oh, shit.
Here we go. Bingo.
360
00:16:36,998 --> 00:16:38,832
What?
I got the concept right here.
361
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,415
Brown party...
362
00:16:40,998 --> 00:16:42,082
Brown party.-
Brown party...
363
00:16:42,248 --> 00:16:44,373
Brown clothes, brown food,
brown drink,
364
00:16:44,540 --> 00:16:47,082
brown clown, brown balloons,
365
00:16:47,248 --> 00:16:49,582
live music supplied by
Jackson Browne.
366
00:16:49,748 --> 00:16:51,998
I don't know what you're
thinking. Is that good?
367
00:16:52,165 --> 00:16:53,290
It's fucking awful.
368
00:16:53,457 --> 00:16:56,082
Take it easy.
I'm just spit balling.
369
00:16:56,248 --> 00:16:58,332
It's not like you're throwing
ideas my way.
370
00:16:58,498 --> 00:17:00,623
He spells with an E at the end.
Doesn't matter.
371
00:17:00,790 --> 00:17:03,415
Holy shit.
We got a situation here.
372
00:17:03,582 --> 00:17:05,290
Oh, my fucking God.
373
00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:07,707
Dude, she's wearing
a sex bracelet.
374
00:17:07,873 --> 00:17:09,207
McCRUDDEN:
Holy fuck, she is.
375
00:17:09,373 --> 00:17:11,665
ERIC:
Oh, boy, that's trouble.
376
00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:14,123
It's blue. It's blue.
Sword swallower.
377
00:17:14,290 --> 00:17:17,165
When she reaches out for my
cone, I'm gonna snag that thing
378
00:17:17,332 --> 00:17:19,457
and it's deep-throat city
all night long.
379
00:17:19,623 --> 00:17:20,915
No, no, no.
380
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,998
Please don't do that.
Don't. No, stop.
381
00:17:24,165 --> 00:17:25,873
Stop. Stop it.
382
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,373
[McCRUDDEN GAGGING]
383
00:17:27,540 --> 00:17:30,540
I bet she unhinges her jaw like a
fucking python swallowing a rat.
384
00:17:30,707 --> 00:17:33,457
Um, do you guys
know what you want?
385
00:17:33,623 --> 00:17:35,707
Yes, we do.
Yeah. We got a pretty good idea.
386
00:17:35,873 --> 00:17:37,457
No, ice cream
is what we're into.
387
00:17:40,457 --> 00:17:44,165
Do you think a girl like that looks at
us like we're a couple of old dudes?
388
00:17:44,332 --> 00:17:47,582
The way we used to look at 30-year-old
guys back in high school and say,
389
00:17:47,748 --> 00:17:51,248
'Oh, man, look at that
lame old guy hitting on Sue.'
390
00:17:51,415 --> 00:17:53,998
Ha, ha. Yeah, probably.
391
00:17:54,165 --> 00:17:56,873
I don't know. Weren't 30-year-old
guys a lot older back then
392
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,582
with, like, mustaches and jobs?
393
00:17:58,748 --> 00:18:00,915
Yeah
It certainly seemed like it
394
00:18:01,082 --> 00:18:02,123
[CHUCKLES]
395
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,332
What?
396
00:18:03,498 --> 00:18:05,623
Fuck, dude, we're getting old.
Bullshit. Come on.
397
00:18:05,790 --> 00:18:08,123
I got a foot cramp
the other day masturbating.
398
00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:11,248
What? Doesn't make sense.
I swear to God. It happened.
399
00:18:11,415 --> 00:18:14,582
Do you think that girl and her
friends really have BJ orgy parties?
400
00:18:14,748 --> 00:18:15,915
Indubitably- Really?
401
00:18:16,082 --> 00:18:18,082
Duquez is right.
We got fucking hosed.
402
00:18:18,248 --> 00:18:20,207
God dang.
403
00:18:21,248 --> 00:18:23,082
Hey, what about that?
404
00:18:23,248 --> 00:18:24,207
What about what?
405
00:18:24,373 --> 00:18:26,082
What about that
for the final party?
406
00:18:26,248 --> 00:18:28,415
What?
An orgy.
407
00:18:28,582 --> 00:18:30,040
An orgy? An orgy...
408
00:18:30,207 --> 00:18:31,707
You wanna have an orgy?
Why not?
409
00:18:31,873 --> 00:18:33,540
Get out of town.
It'll never happen.
410
00:18:33,707 --> 00:18:34,957
Why not?
Why not?
411
00:18:35,123 --> 00:18:37,207
Because people don't
have orgies, you know?
412
00:18:37,373 --> 00:18:38,790
Oh, come on. They used to.
413
00:18:38,957 --> 00:18:40,748
True.
Yeah, think about it, dude.
414
00:18:40,915 --> 00:18:43,790
An orgy.
A good old-fashioned orgy.
415
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,623
Wowie.
That is a blaze of glory.
416
00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:49,748
Okay. Now you know
I hate naysayers, right?
417
00:18:49,915 --> 00:18:51,373
But I'm gonna have to say nay.
418
00:18:51,540 --> 00:18:52,873
Really?
Really.
419
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,623
Are you throwing down
the gauntlet?
420
00:18:54,790 --> 00:18:56,706
Oops, what's that?
421
00:18:56,873 --> 00:18:59,165
It's on the ground as we speak.
422
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,373
We're gonna have an orgy.
423
00:19:03,706 --> 00:19:05,248
We're gonna have an orgy.
424
00:19:05,456 --> 00:19:07,248
Oh, boy. Here we go.
425
00:19:08,831 --> 00:19:10,831
ERIC: Okay, guys,
I've been mulling it over
426
00:19:10,998 --> 00:19:12,915
and I have a concept
for the final flesh.
427
00:19:13,081 --> 00:19:14,831
All right.
What is it?
428
00:19:14,998 --> 00:19:16,331
Whoo!
SUE: Fiesta
429
00:19:16,498 --> 00:19:18,498
While this will be
the most spectacular
430
00:19:18,665 --> 00:19:22,831
and insane party any of us have taken
part of, it's not gonna be a big thing.
431
00:19:22,998 --> 00:19:24,248
It's just gonna be us.
432
00:19:24,415 --> 00:19:29,331
It's gonna be small,
intimate, special.
433
00:19:29,498 --> 00:19:31,248
Oh, I'll make lasagna.
434
00:19:31,415 --> 00:19:33,915
SUE: Yummy.
ALISON: Oh, yeah.
435
00:19:34,081 --> 00:19:35,331
We're gonna have an orgy.
436
00:19:39,248 --> 00:19:41,206
Who?
Us.
437
00:19:42,498 --> 00:19:45,165
Where?
Right here. Labor Day weekend.
438
00:19:45,331 --> 00:19:49,206
Us? A naked sex orgy?
439
00:19:49,373 --> 00:19:51,831
You're kidding, right?
No, I'm not. Why not us?
440
00:19:51,998 --> 00:19:53,790
People used to have them
all the time.
441
00:19:53,956 --> 00:19:55,123
All the time.
442
00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:56,790
What happened
to our generation?
443
00:19:56,956 --> 00:19:59,165
What happened?
I'll tell you what happened.
444
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:02,040
AIDS.
AIDS.
445
00:20:02,206 --> 00:20:03,790
AIDS hit right
when we hit puberty.
446
00:20:03,956 --> 00:20:05,998
And it scared the shit
out of all of us.
447
00:20:06,165 --> 00:20:10,123
It turned sex into this big,
frightening thing.
448
00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:11,623
DUQUEZ:
He's right.
449
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:15,456
Kids today are freaks,
our parents were freaks,
450
00:20:15,623 --> 00:20:17,206
we're a bunch of
fucking pussies.
451
00:20:17,373 --> 00:20:19,956
We're the lamest generation.
ERIC: This is our chance.
452
00:20:20,123 --> 00:20:21,331
Our chance to do it right.
453
00:20:21,498 --> 00:20:23,498
Take back what's
been taken from us.
454
00:20:23,665 --> 00:20:25,998
Isn't that from Goonies?
I am paraphrasing Goonies.
455
00:20:26,165 --> 00:20:28,790
Orgy. Orgy...
456
00:20:28,915 --> 00:20:32,748
[CHANTING]
Orgy. Orgy. Orgy.
457
00:20:32,915 --> 00:20:35,206
ERIC: Duquez, come on.
You're into this, right?
458
00:20:35,373 --> 00:20:38,665
What? Heh-heh-heh. No.
459
00:20:38,831 --> 00:20:41,790
We're all friends.
It would just be too weird.
460
00:20:41,956 --> 00:20:44,831
How do you know unless you try?
Ew!
461
00:20:44,998 --> 00:20:49,581
If we all went into this with an
open mind, it could be amazing.
462
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:52,915
In theory,
a noble call to arms.
463
00:20:53,081 --> 00:20:57,748
In practice, I cannot
imagine a more awkward
464
00:20:57,915 --> 00:20:59,915
and uncomfortably
terrible evening.
465
00:21:00,081 --> 00:21:02,831
Oh, laugh, laugh,
laugh all you want.
466
00:21:02,998 --> 00:21:05,206
Seriously, don't you get it?
This is it,
467
00:21:05,373 --> 00:21:08,415
the final blowout,
and then the house is gone.
468
00:21:08,581 --> 00:21:11,873
People move away.
Things change.
469
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,456
We need to think
outside of the box.
470
00:21:14,623 --> 00:21:17,540
And inside the box.
471
00:21:17,706 --> 00:21:18,915
ALL:
Eww.
472
00:21:19,081 --> 00:21:21,123
Mike, that's not
what I'm going for.
473
00:21:21,290 --> 00:21:22,581
I'm in.
474
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,165
What?
What?
475
00:21:24,331 --> 00:21:25,373
Are you serious?
476
00:21:25,540 --> 00:21:27,623
Yes, it worked. Ha-ha-ha.
477
00:21:27,790 --> 00:21:29,540
Come on. An orgy?
478
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:31,040
It's madness.
479
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:34,248
Ugh.
It's gonna be a fucking blast.
480
00:21:34,415 --> 00:21:35,915
Success!
Success!
481
00:21:36,081 --> 00:21:38,206
Sue's in.
Thank you, yes.
482
00:21:38,373 --> 00:21:39,373
Here we go.
Come on.
483
00:21:39,540 --> 00:21:42,206
I'm gonna go meet Marcus.
Oh, my God.
484
00:21:42,373 --> 00:21:44,915
All right, think it over.
Think it... Everybody, okay.
485
00:21:45,081 --> 00:21:46,373
All right, I get it.
486
00:21:46,540 --> 00:21:49,373
It's gonna hike a while to come
around on this whole orgy idea.
487
00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:51,540
Right? Here?
No, okay. Ha, ha!
488
00:21:51,706 --> 00:21:55,415
Very good, but go ahead, type it in your
BlackBerrys, pencil it in your notebooks.
489
00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:57,873
[CHANTING]
Orgy. Orgy.
490
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,165
ALL:
Orgy. Orgy.
491
00:22:00,331 --> 00:22:03,331
Orgy. Orgy. Orgy.
492
00:22:09,415 --> 00:22:12,915
So, Sue, you think this is how you're
gonna finally sleep with Eric?
493
00:22:13,081 --> 00:22:15,998
What? We dated
in high school.
494
00:22:16,164 --> 00:22:17,706
Come on, that was ages ago.
495
00:22:17,873 --> 00:22:19,623
You guys never,
you know, did it,
496
00:22:19,789 --> 00:22:21,581
so it's kind of
unfinished business.
497
00:22:21,748 --> 00:22:25,081
Yeah, but I've slept with
like a ton of guys since then,
498
00:22:25,248 --> 00:22:27,748
so this doesn't have
anything to do with it.
499
00:22:27,914 --> 00:22:30,664
ERIC: Fine, but other
than social awkwardness,
500
00:22:30,831 --> 00:22:31,998
give me one reason.
501
00:22:32,164 --> 00:22:35,248
Oh, very well. How about
I give you several reasons?
502
00:22:35,414 --> 00:22:36,956
Like, oh, I don't know,
503
00:22:37,123 --> 00:22:38,789
chlamydia, the herp,
504
00:22:38,956 --> 00:22:42,789
gonorrhea, syphilis, papilloma.
505
00:22:42,956 --> 00:22:44,289
The Steve McQueen movie?
506
00:22:44,456 --> 00:22:48,123
No, that's Papillon.
The virus that causes genital warts.
507
00:22:48,289 --> 00:22:50,456
Ugh. Why do you think
of this stuff?
508
00:22:50,623 --> 00:22:53,623
Don't you remember the article my
mom clipped from The New Yorker?
509
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,206
[LAUGHS]
510
00:22:56,373 --> 00:22:57,623
No.
511
00:22:57,789 --> 00:23:00,164
Condoms can't stop it
and it causes cervical cancer.
512
00:23:00,331 --> 00:23:02,206
You don't have a cervix.
513
00:23:02,789 --> 00:23:06,498
I don't know how you could have sex
in front of a room full of people.
514
00:23:06,664 --> 00:23:09,789
I mean, I don't even like
to get naked at the spa.
515
00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:12,789
I'm not saying that this is
gonna be easy for me,
516
00:23:12,956 --> 00:23:15,914
but isn't that what
kind of makes it exciting?
517
00:23:16,081 --> 00:23:18,623
I'm not saying that
it wouldn't be fun,
518
00:23:18,789 --> 00:23:20,748
but it's an orgy.
519
00:23:20,914 --> 00:23:22,956
What's the point of
losing all this weight
520
00:23:23,123 --> 00:23:25,081
if you're not gonna show off
your new bod?
521
00:23:25,206 --> 00:23:26,998
You haven't even worn
your bikini yet.
522
00:23:27,164 --> 00:23:28,581
I still have 5 more pounds.
523
00:23:28,748 --> 00:23:31,581
I think this could help
build your self-esteem.
524
00:23:31,748 --> 00:23:37,164
There's the miracle cure. I'm gonna start turning
my clients onto group sex instead of Zoloft.
525
00:23:37,331 --> 00:23:39,539
We're going to the beach.
At least do that.
526
00:23:39,706 --> 00:23:41,748
It's our last summer.
Let's go to the beach.
527
00:23:41,914 --> 00:23:45,414
Shockingly, I'm gonna pass on the
stroll through the tick-infested dunes.
528
00:23:46,081 --> 00:23:47,581
Dude, I've had Lyme disease.
529
00:23:47,748 --> 00:23:50,248
It's not a big deal.
It's antibiotics, boom, done.
530
00:23:50,414 --> 00:23:53,623
You know I have a needle phobia.
Okay? I can't go to the doctor.
531
00:23:53,789 --> 00:23:56,414
The puncturing
the veins and the... Ugh.
532
00:23:56,581 --> 00:23:59,039
Okay, whatever.
Enjoy the great indoors.
533
00:23:59,206 --> 00:24:01,373
Yeah. Bye.
Okay.
534
00:24:01,539 --> 00:24:04,873
Ooh, hey, Eric. Uh, could you
grab some sand for my ass crack?
535
00:24:05,039 --> 00:24:06,581
I'll grab some for your cervix.
536
00:24:06,748 --> 00:24:08,539
[LAUGHS]
537
00:24:08,706 --> 00:24:11,039
Okay. Let's say you dated
four guys in one year,
538
00:24:11,206 --> 00:24:13,206
right, and you slept with them.
539
00:24:13,373 --> 00:24:15,539
You'd be cool with that?
Totally.
540
00:24:15,706 --> 00:24:18,748
And how many guys
have you slept with this year?
541
00:24:19,539 --> 00:24:21,539
None.
542
00:24:21,706 --> 00:24:23,081
Or the year before.
543
00:24:23,248 --> 00:24:26,581
So really all you're doing
is sleeping with four guys
544
00:24:26,748 --> 00:24:29,123
in, like, a shorter time frame.
545
00:24:30,248 --> 00:24:32,414
I never really thought
of it that way.
546
00:24:33,581 --> 00:24:34,623
What do you think?
547
00:24:34,789 --> 00:24:37,914
Insane, idiotic
and self-destructive.
548
00:24:39,831 --> 00:24:41,998
Okay, hypothetically.
Mm-hm.
549
00:24:42,164 --> 00:24:45,998
If I did decide to do it,
but at the last minute,
550
00:24:46,164 --> 00:24:48,289
I totally freaked out,
551
00:24:48,456 --> 00:24:51,414
they would let me out, right?
552
00:24:51,581 --> 00:24:53,831
Laura, it's an orgy,
not The Accused.
553
00:24:53,998 --> 00:24:57,081
It's not fun
unless everybody's into it.
554
00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:01,081
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
555
00:25:01,248 --> 00:25:03,498
I'm gonna do it.
Yeah? Yeah?
556
00:25:03,664 --> 00:25:05,706
I'm gonna do it.
All right. Yeah, girl.
557
00:25:05,873 --> 00:25:08,039
Hey, guys,
what's the celebration?
558
00:25:09,998 --> 00:25:12,664
Just talking about how to get
Laura back in the saddle.
559
00:25:12,831 --> 00:25:15,414
Whoo, yay!
I'm gonna find you a guy.
560
00:25:15,956 --> 00:25:18,331
Glenn's cousin Frank
is coming to the wedding.
561
00:25:22,289 --> 00:25:24,289
McCRUDDEN:
Okay, Game on. Let's go.
562
00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:25,623
ADAM:
All right, John Kruk.
563
00:25:25,789 --> 00:25:29,248
I'll tell you what I'm gonna throw,
and you're still gonna whiff at it.
564
00:25:29,456 --> 00:25:32,123
Slow breaking curveball.
565
00:25:33,123 --> 00:25:34,164
ALL:
Oh!
566
00:25:34,331 --> 00:25:36,331
Goddamn it! I dare you
to throw that again.
567
00:25:36,498 --> 00:25:39,456
Swish full, the nerd's revenge.
568
00:25:39,623 --> 00:25:41,539
Ooh, I got my bunt face on.
569
00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:43,997
Drills, ladies. Drills.
Let's go. Look alive.
570
00:25:44,164 --> 00:25:45,497
Album cover, hat or no hat?
571
00:25:45,664 --> 00:25:47,622
Oh, Doug, come on, man.
572
00:25:47,789 --> 00:25:49,664
You've been doing this
for two years.
573
00:25:49,831 --> 00:25:52,289
Mixing, remixing.
Hatting, no hatting.
574
00:25:52,456 --> 00:25:54,581
Your music's awesome.
Get it out there.
575
00:25:54,747 --> 00:25:58,539
No one will give it a shot if they don't dig my look.
It's an image-based industry.
576
00:25:58,706 --> 00:26:02,081
What the fuck? This is why
you're headed for a shitty job.
577
00:26:02,247 --> 00:26:05,747
You need to stop trying to look like a
rock star and shirt living like one.
578
00:26:05,914 --> 00:26:07,331
Yeah, do the orgy.
Do the orgy.
579
00:26:07,497 --> 00:26:08,956
You think Mick Jagger
would have said,
580
00:26:09,122 --> 00:26:11,164
[IN BRITISH ACCENT] 'No thanks, mate.
No orgy for me.
581
00:26:11,331 --> 00:26:12,997
I've got an on-again-off-again
girlfriend.'
582
00:26:13,164 --> 00:26:15,289
[IN BRITISH ACCENT] 'I don't
wanna cheat on David Bowie.'
583
00:26:15,456 --> 00:26:17,581
'No cheating on Bowie.'
Hey, Willow.
584
00:26:18,997 --> 00:26:20,664
I know what Tom Hanks
feels like now.
585
00:26:20,831 --> 00:26:22,747
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
My only concern, Duque,
586
00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:25,247
is that the hat doesn't
make you look gay enough.
587
00:26:25,414 --> 00:26:26,581
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, yeah.
588
00:26:26,747 --> 00:26:29,331
You could Photoshop in three
guys jizzing on your face?
589
00:26:29,497 --> 00:26:31,914
Or on the hat?
Ooh, ooh.
590
00:26:32,081 --> 00:26:33,289
That's good.
Hey.
591
00:26:33,456 --> 00:26:37,914
You could take that five-song demo, make it a double album.
One with the hat, one without it?
592
00:26:38,081 --> 00:26:40,164
You could call it, uh,
Exile on Hat Street.
593
00:26:40,331 --> 00:26:43,706
Yeah, or Jagged Little Hat?
Oh, Meat Loaf. Hat Outta Hell.
594
00:26:43,872 --> 00:26:46,789
What about Sgt. Pepper':
Lonely Hats Club Hat?
595
00:26:46,956 --> 00:26:50,581
What if I just call it My Shitty
Friends Don't Respect Me?
596
00:26:51,539 --> 00:26:53,706
Indie. You won't be able
to sell at Walmart.
597
00:26:53,872 --> 00:26:56,914
Who's next up to hat?
ADAM: Two and two to Harvey Key.
598
00:26:57,081 --> 00:26:59,706
Sandy winds up and delivers.
599
00:27:00,706 --> 00:27:02,747
Ooh, hoo-hoo-hoo!
Fuck me.
600
00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:04,372
Hey, Ali Cat.
Hi.
601
00:27:04,539 --> 00:27:05,747
Like what you see?
602
00:27:05,914 --> 00:27:07,956
This could be all yours
Labor Day weekend.
603
00:27:08,122 --> 00:27:09,872
Oh, Eric.
604
00:27:10,039 --> 00:27:11,789
Do you mind if
I make an observation?
605
00:27:11,956 --> 00:27:14,914
Oh, boy. Sure, go ahead.
606
00:27:15,081 --> 00:27:17,039
You have intimacy issues.
607
00:27:17,164 --> 00:27:18,372
Really? Yeah.
608
00:27:18,539 --> 00:27:20,872
I figured an orgy is
as intimate as it can get.
609
00:27:21,039 --> 00:27:23,872
No, no, no, but intimacy
isn't about intercourse, Eric.
610
00:27:24,039 --> 00:27:25,289
It's about emotion.
Mm-hm.
611
00:27:25,456 --> 00:27:28,247
You don't need to get laid.
You need to be in a relationship.
612
00:27:28,414 --> 00:27:32,331
Heh, heh. Look, just because
you're in an unhappy relationship,
613
00:27:33,206 --> 00:27:34,997
doesn't mean
the rest of us need to be.
614
00:27:35,164 --> 00:27:36,997
I'm not in an unhappy
relationship.
615
00:27:37,164 --> 00:27:40,039
I'm in an adult relationship.
616
00:27:40,206 --> 00:27:42,164
It's fun, whatever it is.
Hold on one sec?
617
00:27:42,331 --> 00:27:45,372
Hey, Marcus. You want
to hike a few cracks with the bat?
618
00:27:45,539 --> 00:27:46,831
No, thank you.
619
00:27:46,997 --> 00:27:49,997
Football is my game,
European football.
620
00:27:50,164 --> 00:27:51,456
Gotcha.
621
00:27:51,622 --> 00:27:53,872
Did he date Siegfried or Roy?
I can't remember.
622
00:27:54,039 --> 00:27:56,331
ALL:
Oh!
623
00:27:56,497 --> 00:27:59,247
God, it's embarrassing
watching you play this sport.
624
00:27:59,414 --> 00:28:02,164
Aww, it's cow shit.
625
00:28:02,331 --> 00:28:05,164
Look, doc, it's your life.
626
00:28:05,331 --> 00:28:06,706
You can do whatever you want.
627
00:28:06,831 --> 00:28:09,122
All I'm saying is that maybe
Labor Day weekend
628
00:28:09,289 --> 00:28:11,581
might be the last chopper
out of Saigon for you.
629
00:28:12,956 --> 00:28:14,664
[IMITATES HELICOPTER]
630
00:28:19,914 --> 00:28:22,206
Knock, knock.
Guess who.
631
00:28:22,372 --> 00:28:24,164
Dody! Ha-ha-ha.
632
00:28:24,331 --> 00:28:26,622
DODY: These are the Webers.
How you doing?
633
00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:28,997
We brought some extra signs
634
00:28:29,164 --> 00:28:30,831
because someone
is stealing ours.
635
00:28:30,997 --> 00:28:32,664
Oh. That's too bad.
636
00:28:33,539 --> 00:28:36,164
Oh, good. Okay.
Hey, guys. Do me a favor?
637
00:28:36,331 --> 00:28:39,456
When you go in the house, don't
go to the basement or anything.
638
00:28:39,622 --> 00:28:43,789
Not that there's anything or anyone
down there in a cage or otherwise.
639
00:28:43,956 --> 00:28:46,956
Thanks, Eric.
That's so helpful.
640
00:28:47,122 --> 00:28:48,289
What is he talking about?
641
00:28:48,414 --> 00:28:51,289
KELLY:
Oh, gosh. Don't worry. Don't worry.
642
00:28:51,456 --> 00:28:54,747
He's a little off.
643
00:28:54,914 --> 00:28:56,164
It's a head injury.
644
00:28:56,331 --> 00:28:58,414
That's why he wears the helmet.
645
00:28:58,581 --> 00:29:01,081
Are they all challenged?
646
00:29:01,747 --> 00:29:04,247
Yes. But at least
they have each other.
647
00:29:04,372 --> 00:29:07,581
Oh, that's so great.
648
00:29:07,747 --> 00:29:10,289
Have fun with your game,
sweetie.
649
00:29:10,456 --> 00:29:11,914
Thanks, Mrs. Weber.
650
00:29:13,205 --> 00:29:16,455
We are five minutes
from Indian Wells Beach.
651
00:29:16,622 --> 00:29:18,830
And wait till you see
your bedroom.
652
00:29:21,330 --> 00:29:23,330
[ALL SHOUTING]
653
00:29:34,622 --> 00:29:35,664
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
654
00:29:35,830 --> 00:29:37,122
[ALL CHEER]
655
00:29:37,289 --> 00:29:39,164
[ALL CHATTERING]
656
00:29:57,039 --> 00:29:59,539
What if someone comes in?
These people never knock.
657
00:29:59,705 --> 00:30:02,122
I just locked the door.
658
00:30:02,289 --> 00:30:06,122
Fine, but you really
must be quiet.
659
00:30:06,289 --> 00:30:07,622
None of your usual screeches.
660
00:30:07,789 --> 00:30:09,372
Okay, okay, okay.
Yes?
661
00:30:09,539 --> 00:30:11,580
Yeah.
662
00:30:13,955 --> 00:30:16,497
Oh, Marcus. Oh...
663
00:30:16,664 --> 00:30:19,164
Let's get you out
of these dirty little panties.
664
00:30:19,330 --> 00:30:21,330
ALISON:
Do it. What?
665
00:30:21,455 --> 00:30:24,830
What's going on? Why are you stopping?
What's going on? Hey.
666
00:30:24,997 --> 00:30:26,497
What?
667
00:30:27,164 --> 00:30:28,705
What have you done
to your vagina?
668
00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:31,497
I shaved it.
669
00:30:37,497 --> 00:30:40,372
Why?
I don't know.
670
00:30:40,539 --> 00:30:45,039
Because I thought it would be
something different, sexy.
671
00:30:45,205 --> 00:30:48,789
Women are supposed to have pubic hair.
Why would I find it sexy?
672
00:30:48,955 --> 00:30:51,039
You look like
a prepubescent girl.
673
00:30:51,205 --> 00:30:52,580
I'm not a child molester.
674
00:30:52,747 --> 00:30:55,789
Okay, you know what, it's hair,
Marcus, and it's gonna grow back.
675
00:30:57,122 --> 00:30:59,372
Well, I wished you
would have told me
676
00:30:59,539 --> 00:31:02,039
about your little secret
before I unwrapped this.
677
00:31:02,205 --> 00:31:04,622
This lambskin condoms
cost 2 Euros.
678
00:31:04,789 --> 00:31:06,455
It's wasteful.
679
00:31:07,497 --> 00:31:08,664
ALISON:
I did it for you!
680
00:31:08,830 --> 00:31:10,789
MARCUS: You could have
consulted with me.
681
00:31:14,455 --> 00:31:17,455
Alison, you're being
like a child.
682
00:31:17,580 --> 00:31:20,039
ALISON:
Fuck you, go away!
683
00:31:20,205 --> 00:31:22,122
You go away.
684
00:31:22,289 --> 00:31:23,622
I think this is chemical.
685
00:31:23,789 --> 00:31:25,622
Darling, what dosage
are you inking?
686
00:31:25,789 --> 00:31:27,955
ALISON:
You... Fuck you!
687
00:31:28,122 --> 00:31:29,455
This is your problem.
688
00:31:29,622 --> 00:31:33,039
I was just expressing my
sexuality in a healthy manner.
689
00:31:33,205 --> 00:31:37,080
God forbid, Marcus,
that we experiment a little bit.
690
00:31:37,247 --> 00:31:38,497
MARCUS:
Fine.
691
00:31:38,664 --> 00:31:42,580
I'm going back to the city
and I'm taking the iPod.
692
00:31:42,747 --> 00:31:44,997
Fine. Leave!
693
00:31:45,164 --> 00:31:47,455
And your breath is terrible!
694
00:31:47,622 --> 00:31:50,622
My breath is natural.
Unlike your vagina.
695
00:31:51,580 --> 00:31:53,122
ALISON:
Fuck you!
696
00:31:55,455 --> 00:31:56,580
[SOBS]
697
00:31:57,747 --> 00:31:59,080
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
698
00:31:59,247 --> 00:32:01,664
Oh. Jesus.
699
00:32:02,580 --> 00:32:03,580
Sorry.
700
00:32:03,747 --> 00:32:05,955
Ahem. It's all right.
701
00:32:09,747 --> 00:32:12,164
The worst part is
I'm just peeing right now.
702
00:32:29,789 --> 00:32:31,497
I've been kicking
around a few ideas.
703
00:32:31,664 --> 00:32:33,539
Party themes.
Let me know what you think.
704
00:32:33,705 --> 00:32:36,997
First one, Roman, right?
You're talking togas, wine,
705
00:32:37,164 --> 00:32:39,372
bushels of grapes,
the whole deal.
706
00:32:39,539 --> 00:32:41,413
Then I also have '70s, right?
707
00:32:41,580 --> 00:32:45,038
We got the swinger vibe,
polyester, big hair,
708
00:32:45,205 --> 00:32:48,038
upstairs and down, you know?
Um, I don't know.
709
00:32:48,205 --> 00:32:50,622
What about the Kama Sutra?
710
00:32:50,788 --> 00:32:52,205
That's actually not bad.
Yeah?
711
00:32:52,372 --> 00:32:55,080
Yeah, yeah, like the sex secrets
of the East, right?
712
00:32:55,247 --> 00:32:57,205
Mm-hm.
Oh, that's... Yeah.
713
00:32:57,372 --> 00:33:01,122
You know you have like,
uh, incense, tapestries.
714
00:33:01,288 --> 00:33:03,788
Veils, diaphanous fabrics.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
715
00:33:03,955 --> 00:33:06,705
I have no idea what the hell
that is, but I like it.
716
00:33:06,872 --> 00:33:09,038
You and me, we're on the
same page with this.
717
00:33:09,205 --> 00:33:11,538
Right? I think so.
Absolutely.
718
00:33:11,705 --> 00:33:13,872
How do you spell 'Kama'?
Yeah.
719
00:33:14,038 --> 00:33:15,497
Dude, babe alert at 3 o'clock.
720
00:33:15,663 --> 00:33:17,497
Three o'clock.
My 3, my 3.
721
00:33:17,663 --> 00:33:20,497
[McCRUDDEN IMITATES TRUMPET]
722
00:33:21,288 --> 00:33:22,497
[ERIC CHUCKLES]
723
00:33:22,663 --> 00:33:23,830
Wait.
That hurls my dink.
724
00:33:23,997 --> 00:33:25,330
Wait a minute.
That's Kelly.
725
00:33:25,497 --> 00:33:27,997
Who?
My Realtor.
726
00:33:28,122 --> 00:33:29,705
Oh, shit, the enemy.
727
00:33:30,372 --> 00:33:32,080
Listen to me. Listen.
728
00:33:32,247 --> 00:33:35,163
We cannot afford to lose the casa
de sex before Labor Day, okay?
729
00:33:35,330 --> 00:33:38,247
You go over there, you get in
tight with her, lay on the charm,
730
00:33:38,413 --> 00:33:40,330
and get her to drag ass
selling the house.
731
00:33:40,497 --> 00:33:41,788
No, no, that is...
Yes, yes.
732
00:33:41,955 --> 00:33:44,247
She is a tough cookie.
She'll see through that.
733
00:33:44,413 --> 00:33:46,372
Her? Please, dude,
you're the king.
734
00:33:46,538 --> 00:33:49,830
A little winey-diney, she'll
be your humble wench servant.
735
00:33:50,788 --> 00:33:52,788
Keep friends close,
but enemies closer.
736
00:33:52,955 --> 00:33:56,247
Yeah. That doesn't make any sense.
Just go fucking charm her, okay?
737
00:33:56,580 --> 00:33:57,955
Okay.
Go, go, go.
738
00:33:58,122 --> 00:33:59,372
All right.
Do the thing.
739
00:33:59,538 --> 00:34:02,788
What?
The smile thing. Ahem.
740
00:34:03,788 --> 00:34:06,955
Kelly. Kelly. Hi.
Oh, Eric.
741
00:34:08,663 --> 00:34:10,372
Oh, my God, look at this.
Watch.
742
00:34:10,538 --> 00:34:13,580
I hope anything I said didn't screw
anything up with the client.
743
00:34:13,747 --> 00:34:15,872
I was joking around.
I didn't freak them out?
744
00:34:16,038 --> 00:34:17,705
Oh, no. Not at all.
Oh, good.
745
00:34:17,872 --> 00:34:20,580
You were wearing that helmet
so I was able to convince them
746
00:34:20,747 --> 00:34:23,580
that, you know,
you ride the short bus.
747
00:34:23,747 --> 00:34:25,413
Well, that's good.
748
00:34:25,580 --> 00:34:26,955
Yeah. Thanks.
Well played.
749
00:34:27,122 --> 00:34:29,455
Hey, do you mind if...?
Maybe I can make up to you.
750
00:34:29,622 --> 00:34:31,413
Take you out to dinner
or something?
751
00:34:31,580 --> 00:34:33,455
Could be fun, yeah?
Oh, gosh, thanks.
752
00:34:33,622 --> 00:34:37,747
Um, technically, I'm not supposed
to go out with clients so..
753
00:34:37,913 --> 00:34:40,830
Well, technically
my dad's the client.
754
00:34:40,997 --> 00:34:43,830
Right now I'm just some
random dude on the beach.
755
00:34:43,997 --> 00:34:46,497
She's smiling. Look, she's smiling.
She's buying it.
756
00:34:46,663 --> 00:34:48,997
Okay. I'll go to dinner
with you.
757
00:34:49,163 --> 00:34:50,247
All right.
758
00:34:50,413 --> 00:34:52,580
But, tell me which party
we met at.
759
00:34:52,747 --> 00:34:54,913
Was it one of my parties?
Mm-hm.
760
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:56,705
Okay. What, um...
761
00:34:56,872 --> 00:34:59,247
Oh, was it the
Cuba Libre party because
762
00:34:59,413 --> 00:35:01,622
I was in mojito haze
that whole day and I just...
763
00:35:01,788 --> 00:35:03,163
- Nope.
764
00:35:03,330 --> 00:35:04,663
Oktoberfest in July?
765
00:35:04,788 --> 00:35:06,705
Nope.
Oh, oh, no, no, I know.
766
00:35:06,872 --> 00:35:07,955
I know.
767
00:35:08,122 --> 00:35:11,372
Uh, it was the Shir Trek versus Shir
Wars Battle for the Universe Party
768
00:35:11,538 --> 00:35:14,372
and you were dressed
as Obi-Wan Kenobi.
769
00:35:14,538 --> 00:35:16,872
How drunk do you get
at these parties?
770
00:35:17,038 --> 00:35:19,872
Uh, pretty drunk.
It's kind of a social obligation.
771
00:35:20,038 --> 00:35:22,622
Okay. I'm gonna
give you a hint.
772
00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:24,372
I wear a size 9 shoe.
773
00:35:26,122 --> 00:35:27,830
Oh, my God.
774
00:35:27,997 --> 00:35:30,038
Oh, my God,
you're bean dip girl.
775
00:35:30,205 --> 00:35:32,205
You're bean dip girl?
I am.
776
00:35:32,330 --> 00:35:34,455
Have you been bean dip
girl the whole time?
777
00:35:34,622 --> 00:35:36,788
Oh, he's so good.
778
00:35:36,955 --> 00:35:39,038
I can't believe that.
I was gonna call you.
779
00:35:39,205 --> 00:35:40,538
I had your number on my hand
780
00:35:40,705 --> 00:35:42,580
and I jumped in the pool
and it was gone.
781
00:35:42,747 --> 00:35:45,247
I thought I lost you.
I thought you were gone forever.
782
00:35:45,413 --> 00:35:46,580
And you...
783
00:35:46,747 --> 00:35:48,913
You look so much better
without the fake baby.
784
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,663
I actually prefer the mullet.
785
00:35:50,830 --> 00:35:52,163
Oh, I just cut it yesterday.
786
00:35:52,330 --> 00:35:53,538
Oh.
For work.
787
00:35:53,705 --> 00:35:56,705
Don't think this whole funny,
charming thing right now
788
00:35:56,872 --> 00:35:58,663
gets you off
for stealing my signs.
789
00:35:58,830 --> 00:36:00,955
I don't know
what you're talking about.
790
00:36:01,122 --> 00:36:03,038
I'm furious
those signs are gone.
791
00:36:03,205 --> 00:36:04,663
You're lying.
I'm not lying.
792
00:36:04,830 --> 00:36:06,497
Your voice just went up.
What?
793
00:36:07,205 --> 00:36:08,497
I'm a ...
794
00:36:08,663 --> 00:36:10,996
[IN DEEP VOICE]
I'm not lying. I am not lying.
795
00:36:11,163 --> 00:36:12,580
You're so lying.
No, I'm not.
796
00:36:12,746 --> 00:36:14,621
Fucking James Bond. Fuck.
797
00:36:14,788 --> 00:36:15,830
[LAUGHS]
798
00:36:15,996 --> 00:36:19,038
DUQUEZ:
Wow, look at that, huh?
799
00:36:19,205 --> 00:36:22,330
Holy smokes.
Another gorgeous shot.
800
00:36:22,496 --> 00:36:23,663
Yeah, thanks.
801
00:36:25,205 --> 00:36:27,830
What should I use,
pitching wedge or nine?
802
00:36:27,955 --> 00:36:30,080
I used the nine.
803
00:36:30,413 --> 00:36:32,705
I think maybe
I should use the wedge.
804
00:36:32,871 --> 00:36:34,288
Or use the wedge.
805
00:36:37,538 --> 00:36:39,580
Ugh! Why am I like this?
806
00:36:39,746 --> 00:36:42,955
Oh, just pick a club and hit it.
What is the big deal?
807
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,830
Will you do the orgy with me?
808
00:36:47,371 --> 00:36:48,871
Hey, can we play through?
809
00:36:49,038 --> 00:36:50,121
Hold on a second, man.
810
00:36:53,621 --> 00:36:54,830
The orgy
811
00:36:54,996 --> 00:36:57,121
You think that would be
a good idea?
812
00:36:57,288 --> 00:36:58,330
[SCOFFS]
813
00:36:58,496 --> 00:37:00,996
I'm stuck.
And I think the reason
814
00:37:01,163 --> 00:37:03,455
is because
I feel like a fucking fraud.
815
00:37:03,621 --> 00:37:07,038
I'm not cool.
I have a law degree.
816
00:37:07,205 --> 00:37:10,580
I ride a motorcycle and it scares
the fucking shit out of me.
817
00:37:10,746 --> 00:37:13,163
And I play golf at my mom's
fucking country club
818
00:37:13,913 --> 00:37:15,496
with assholes like this.
819
00:37:15,663 --> 00:37:18,330
What's the holdup?
Play the wedge!
820
00:37:18,830 --> 00:37:20,955
This is not rock'n'roll.
821
00:37:22,330 --> 00:37:24,746
This could be
really good for me.
822
00:37:24,913 --> 00:37:26,913
For me and for us.
823
00:37:27,580 --> 00:37:29,788
Will you do the orgy with me?
824
00:37:32,621 --> 00:37:34,746
Sure, yeah, yeah, whatever.
Yeah.
825
00:37:35,788 --> 00:37:37,080
Really?
826
00:37:37,996 --> 00:37:40,330
Holy shit.
Yeah.
827
00:37:42,038 --> 00:37:45,080
If you're sure
this is what you want.
828
00:37:45,246 --> 00:37:47,913
Yeah, absolutely.
829
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,246
Good.
I think.
830
00:37:50,413 --> 00:37:52,496
GOLFER:
Fore!
831
00:38:00,121 --> 00:38:02,538
So you wanna know why
guys don't get as excited
832
00:38:02,705 --> 00:38:05,205
about their wedding
as women do?
833
00:38:05,371 --> 00:38:08,871
See, it used to be like a guy would get
rewarded for his commitment with sex.
834
00:38:09,038 --> 00:38:11,705
But you and Glenn have
had sex like a billion times.
835
00:38:11,871 --> 00:38:14,205
For God's sake, you guys
have a kid together.
836
00:38:14,371 --> 00:38:19,913
So for Glenn, it's just kind of
like all commitment, no reward.
837
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:21,538
You know?
838
00:38:22,163 --> 00:38:24,746
I'm the fucking reward.
839
00:38:24,913 --> 00:38:26,538
Of course you are.
Of course.
840
00:38:28,955 --> 00:38:31,080
Something's wrong.
He's never late.
841
00:38:31,246 --> 00:38:33,246
Try him again.
I have been trying him.
842
00:38:33,413 --> 00:38:34,830
He's not answering his phone.
843
00:38:34,996 --> 00:38:37,580
At least he won't wear a white
tuxedo like you dickheads.
844
00:38:38,330 --> 00:38:40,371
Oh, God, that's good.
845
00:38:40,538 --> 00:38:43,788
[MOANING]
846
00:38:43,955 --> 00:38:45,330
Oh, sweet Lord in heaven.
847
00:38:45,496 --> 00:38:47,121
What the fuck, are you stoned?
848
00:38:47,288 --> 00:38:49,496
No. No, no, no, better.
849
00:38:49,663 --> 00:38:52,288
I'm wearing a thing called
The Yank. From Adam & Eve.
850
00:38:52,455 --> 00:38:55,330
One end straps around your leg,
the other end around your Wang.
851
00:38:55,496 --> 00:38:59,455
The brochure says, 'With every stride,
it gives your member a gentle tug.'
852
00:38:59,621 --> 00:39:00,663
Ahh.
853
00:39:00,830 --> 00:39:03,663
What are you doing with a rope
on your cock at my wedding?
854
00:39:03,830 --> 00:39:05,746
Endurance training, Labor Day.
855
00:39:05,913 --> 00:39:08,830
Mm-mm.
For what? A jack-off marathon?
856
00:39:09,538 --> 00:39:11,746
What? Uh, yeah.
857
00:39:11,913 --> 00:39:14,538
That's exactly it.
You nailed it. Heh, heh.
858
00:39:14,705 --> 00:39:16,371
Hey, check it out.
Look who's here.
859
00:39:16,538 --> 00:39:19,330
Oh, fantastic.
Another asshole in white tails.
860
00:39:19,496 --> 00:39:21,788
Keep the change, man.
861
00:39:22,913 --> 00:39:24,621
ERIC:
Ha-ha-ha. Oh, my God.
862
00:39:25,996 --> 00:39:27,455
Well, well, well.
Look at you.
863
00:39:27,621 --> 00:39:31,163
You're late, you're in costume,
and you appear to be hammered.
864
00:39:31,330 --> 00:39:32,496
Who the hell are you?
865
00:39:32,663 --> 00:39:34,788
Long story. I got fired.
866
00:39:34,955 --> 00:39:36,121
What?
What?
867
00:39:36,288 --> 00:39:39,788
It had more to do with the fact that I
almost blew a $2 billion merger deal
868
00:39:39,954 --> 00:39:42,954
because some bozo jumped into
the pool with my blackberry.
869
00:39:43,329 --> 00:39:44,996
Oh, shit. Dude.
870
00:39:45,163 --> 00:39:47,288
I spent most of last night
crying and drinking
871
00:39:47,454 --> 00:39:51,288
and then I drunk-dialed my mom.
She kind of talked me down.
872
00:39:51,454 --> 00:39:53,121
Then I woke up this morning,
873
00:39:53,288 --> 00:39:56,413
had a little more to drink
and I realized, you know what?
874
00:39:56,579 --> 00:39:58,621
This is good. I'm free.
875
00:39:58,788 --> 00:40:00,079
Adam, I'm so sorry.
876
00:40:00,246 --> 00:40:02,163
Shh, shh, shush.
You're my friend.
877
00:40:02,329 --> 00:40:04,246
No, they took my twenties
from me.
878
00:40:04,413 --> 00:40:07,454
And I plan to make my thirties
making up for it.
879
00:40:07,621 --> 00:40:09,246
And you know what else?
880
00:40:09,413 --> 00:40:11,996
I'm doing the orgy. Fuck it.
881
00:40:12,538 --> 00:40:13,579
GLENN Orgy?
882
00:40:13,746 --> 00:40:15,329
What orgy?
883
00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:17,121
The fuck are you talking about?
884
00:40:17,288 --> 00:40:19,996
See, this is exactly why we
should have told him, Eric.
885
00:40:20,163 --> 00:40:21,454
Told me what?
886
00:40:21,621 --> 00:40:23,746
That's what we're doing
for Labor Day. An orgy.
887
00:40:23,913 --> 00:40:26,496
Bullshit. Who's having an orgy?
888
00:40:26,663 --> 00:40:28,954
It's me, Willow,
these two fellas,
889
00:40:29,121 --> 00:40:31,454
Laura, Sue, now drunkie.
890
00:40:31,621 --> 00:40:32,746
Waiting on Alison.
891
00:40:32,913 --> 00:40:34,913
Jesus H.
Fucking Christ.
892
00:40:35,038 --> 00:40:37,913
How come you cocksuckers didn't
think of this fucking orgy idea
893
00:40:38,079 --> 00:40:40,371
five fucking years ago?
God damn it!
894
00:40:40,538 --> 00:40:42,579
Ahem. Uh, Glenn.
895
00:40:42,746 --> 00:40:45,413
I'm afraid we're gonna have
to shirt without your friend.
896
00:40:45,579 --> 00:40:46,829
Oh, he's here.
He's, uh...
897
00:40:47,163 --> 00:40:48,913
Hi, Rabbi.
No.
898
00:40:49,538 --> 00:40:50,913
Pardon my French.
899
00:40:51,413 --> 00:40:52,829
[MOANS]
900
00:40:53,579 --> 00:40:54,996
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
901
00:40:55,163 --> 00:40:56,329
All right, everybody.
902
00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:58,996
Introducing
for the very first time,
903
00:40:59,163 --> 00:41:01,579
Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Pasillio.
904
00:41:01,746 --> 00:41:02,913
[ALL CHEERING]
905
00:41:03,079 --> 00:41:06,121
Paciello.
Paciellio.
906
00:41:09,621 --> 00:41:11,329
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
907
00:41:12,538 --> 00:41:13,663
Here we go.
908
00:41:13,829 --> 00:41:14,871
Whoo, whoo, whoo!
909
00:41:15,538 --> 00:41:16,704
I am married.
910
00:41:19,329 --> 00:41:20,329
Thank you.
911
00:41:22,163 --> 00:41:24,996
I can't believe you guys
broke up because you shaved.
912
00:41:25,163 --> 00:41:27,079
He's the weirdest,
creepiest guy ever.
913
00:41:27,246 --> 00:41:28,913
BARTENDER:
Here you are, ladies.
914
00:41:29,079 --> 00:41:31,496
You guys are definitely
broken up this time, right?
915
00:41:31,663 --> 00:41:34,663
[SHARON CLARK'S 'I'M NOT AFRAID
OF LOVE' PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
916
00:41:34,829 --> 00:41:36,204
Fuck relationships.
917
00:41:36,371 --> 00:41:40,163
Right now, all I wanna
do is have some fun.
918
00:41:41,454 --> 00:41:45,496
No, I'm not afraid of love?
919
00:41:45,663 --> 00:41:46,829
[LAUGHS]
920
00:41:48,579 --> 00:41:51,663
Just because I run away?
921
00:41:51,829 --> 00:41:52,829
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
922
00:41:52,996 --> 00:41:55,538
When you say you need me?
923
00:41:56,579 --> 00:41:59,996
I'm not afraid?
924
00:42:00,163 --> 00:42:01,954
[CLINKING]
925
00:42:02,121 --> 00:42:04,996
I'm not afraid?
926
00:42:06,246 --> 00:42:08,079
Labor Day.
927
00:42:08,913 --> 00:42:09,954
I'm in.
928
00:42:10,121 --> 00:42:11,954
Yes. Yes.
929
00:42:12,121 --> 00:42:13,788
Oh, and I'm fully shaved.
930
00:42:13,954 --> 00:42:15,454
[CUTLERY CLATTERS]
931
00:42:15,621 --> 00:42:17,454
Alison.
Oh, no, no, no.
932
00:42:17,621 --> 00:42:19,621
I'm not making a speech.
933
00:42:19,788 --> 00:42:22,954
Sorry about that.
It's, uh, private conversation.
934
00:42:23,121 --> 00:42:24,204
[CHUCKLES]
935
00:42:26,163 --> 00:42:29,621
You know what they're doing over Labor Day?
Do you know what the party is?
936
00:42:29,788 --> 00:42:30,871
What?
937
00:42:31,038 --> 00:42:33,454
They're having a fucking orgy.
938
00:42:33,621 --> 00:42:35,829
Heh-heh-heh.
What are you talking about?
939
00:42:35,996 --> 00:42:38,538
They are having an orgy.
940
00:42:39,371 --> 00:42:40,496
Like a sex orgy?
941
00:42:40,663 --> 00:42:42,746
Like a sex orgy
and we're not invited.
942
00:42:42,913 --> 00:42:45,413
[CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]
943
00:42:46,579 --> 00:42:47,954
Hey. Hi.
944
00:42:48,121 --> 00:42:49,496
So is it true?
945
00:42:49,663 --> 00:42:51,871
That all of you
are having this orgy
946
00:42:52,038 --> 00:42:53,913
and you didn't think
to invite us?
947
00:42:56,079 --> 00:42:58,954
What are you all
looking at me for? I...
948
00:42:59,121 --> 00:43:01,663
Guys, you just got married,
okay?
949
00:43:01,829 --> 00:43:03,788
L... You have a kid.
You don't...
950
00:43:03,954 --> 00:43:06,246
Don't you think
it's a little inappropriate?
951
00:43:06,412 --> 00:43:08,079
Well, of course
we wouldn't come.
952
00:43:08,246 --> 00:43:11,079
It's that you didn't ask us.
You didn't even think of us.
953
00:43:11,246 --> 00:43:13,662
In fact, you specifically
hid this from us.
954
00:43:13,829 --> 00:43:15,787
We invited all you
to be here today,
955
00:43:15,954 --> 00:43:18,287
just the most special
day of our lives,
956
00:43:18,454 --> 00:43:22,329
and you, who are supposed
to be our closest friends...
957
00:43:22,496 --> 00:43:25,537
There were family members who didn't
get invited so you could come.
958
00:43:25,704 --> 00:43:26,871
Family members.
Right.
959
00:43:27,704 --> 00:43:31,454
Now, we're just totally out of your
pervy little social club. Huh?
960
00:43:32,579 --> 00:43:33,704
I don't believe this.
961
00:43:36,037 --> 00:43:38,412
[ALL GIGGLING]
962
00:43:40,204 --> 00:43:42,371
ERIC: Sorry.
Are you happy?
963
00:43:43,996 --> 00:43:47,371
Because you and your stupid orgy
just ruined our goddamn wedding.
964
00:43:47,537 --> 00:43:49,579
ERIC: Oh, come on, Glenn.
GLENN: Kate!
965
00:43:49,871 --> 00:43:52,371
Is it too late to invite them?
I'll go talk to her.
966
00:43:52,537 --> 00:43:53,579
ALL:
No!
967
00:43:53,746 --> 00:43:55,662
Are you kidding me?
Guys, it's Katie.
968
00:43:55,829 --> 00:43:57,454
She's gonna be fine
in like an hour.
969
00:43:57,621 --> 00:43:59,371
I just realized
I'm really hammered
970
00:43:59,537 --> 00:44:01,621
and I would really
like to dance.
971
00:44:01,787 --> 00:44:03,121
I'm dancing too.
972
00:44:03,287 --> 00:44:06,037
This reminds me
of our senior prom.
973
00:44:06,204 --> 00:44:08,204
You still won't give me
a hand job, right?
974
00:44:08,371 --> 00:44:11,162
[ELI 'PAPERBOY' REED'S '(DOIN'
THE) BOOM BOOM' PLAYING]
975
00:44:11,329 --> 00:44:12,996
It's the boom boom?
976
00:44:14,037 --> 00:44:15,996
It's the boom boom?
977
00:44:19,996 --> 00:44:21,746
Oh, baby?
978
00:44:21,912 --> 00:44:23,162
McCRUDDEN:
Oh, God.
979
00:44:23,329 --> 00:44:25,204
[YELLING]]
980
00:44:29,162 --> 00:44:32,787
KELLY: It's amazing that you're still
so tight with your high school friends.
981
00:44:32,954 --> 00:44:34,829
None of mine moved
back after college.
982
00:44:34,996 --> 00:44:37,829
Yeah, it's a, uh... I don't know,
it's maybe corny to say,
983
00:44:37,996 --> 00:44:39,871
but these guys and gals
are kind of like
984
00:44:40,037 --> 00:44:42,537
the closest thing I've got
to a family these days.
985
00:44:42,704 --> 00:44:45,829
That's why the house, the summer
house, it's like our rec center.
986
00:44:46,329 --> 00:44:48,621
I think we're getting an offer
on the rec center.
987
00:44:49,996 --> 00:44:51,246
My dad will be thrilled.
988
00:44:51,412 --> 00:44:52,787
I knew it.
What?
989
00:44:52,954 --> 00:44:55,371
I knew it wasn't a family
decision to sell the house.
990
00:44:55,537 --> 00:44:58,829
No. We're not big into
family decisions any more.
991
00:44:58,996 --> 00:45:01,246
My mom,
she lives in Portland, Oregon,
992
00:45:01,412 --> 00:45:04,537
with this, uh,
Reiki healer asshole.
993
00:45:04,704 --> 00:45:07,329
Tell me exactly how you feel.
Oh, he's good. He's good.
994
00:45:07,496 --> 00:45:10,079
Uh, no, she's kind of
out of the picture.
995
00:45:10,246 --> 00:45:12,829
Her doing. Um, yeah,
it's just me and my dad.
996
00:45:12,996 --> 00:45:15,579
Hm, well, your dad
seems like a fun guy.
997
00:45:15,746 --> 00:45:16,787
Oh!
Yeah?
998
00:45:16,954 --> 00:45:18,996
Yeah, yeah, he's very fun.
He's a hoot.
999
00:45:19,162 --> 00:45:21,954
Kind of like being raised
by an older fraternity brother.
1000
00:45:22,121 --> 00:45:24,662
He hit on me a little bit.
No.
1001
00:45:24,829 --> 00:45:26,954
He ask you to play golf?
Yes.
1002
00:45:27,121 --> 00:45:29,412
That's his move.
He's very good at golf. Very good.
1003
00:45:29,579 --> 00:45:32,746
But he did it right in front
of Cherie and she had no idea.
1004
00:45:32,912 --> 00:45:34,454
Neither did my mom for a while.
1005
00:45:34,829 --> 00:45:36,746
Now if you will excuse me, Oh.
1006
00:45:36,912 --> 00:45:38,829
I have to win this game
if you don't mind.
1007
00:45:38,996 --> 00:45:41,704
Does this make you...?
It's a little distracting.
1008
00:45:41,871 --> 00:45:43,829
That's not distracting at all. Oh!
Jesus.
1009
00:45:43,996 --> 00:45:46,329
I lied.
It was a little distracting.
1010
00:45:46,496 --> 00:45:47,662
Help.
1011
00:45:50,579 --> 00:45:53,704
ERIC: Fred's Beds?
Are you sure this is the right place?
1012
00:45:54,079 --> 00:45:57,787
McCRUDDEN: Yeah. What do you think
this is, an underground sex club?
1013
00:45:58,454 --> 00:46:00,079
ERIC: Do you have any
idea where you're going?
1014
00:46:00,246 --> 00:46:02,287
McCRUDDEN: He said come in
through the warehouse entrance.
1015
00:46:02,454 --> 00:46:03,621
You got rubbers on you?
1016
00:46:03,787 --> 00:46:04,829
No.
What?
1017
00:46:04,996 --> 00:46:06,954
We are here to observe.
That is all.
1018
00:46:07,121 --> 00:46:09,204
It's a sex club.
Semper fi. Always prepared.
1019
00:46:09,371 --> 00:46:12,121
You know what I mean?
Doesn't that mean 'always faithful'?
1020
00:46:12,287 --> 00:46:14,371
Hey, who took Latin
in seventh grade?
1021
00:46:14,537 --> 00:46:17,787
Moi, okay? I brought a pack
with me if you need one.
1022
00:46:17,954 --> 00:46:19,787
Give me the signal.
I won't need one.
1023
00:46:19,954 --> 00:46:21,996
Alto id?
Yeah.
1024
00:46:25,621 --> 00:46:26,662
What do you want?
1025
00:46:26,829 --> 00:46:28,996
The password is chandelier.
1026
00:46:31,662 --> 00:46:32,704
Who's your connection?
1027
00:46:32,871 --> 00:46:35,954
Vic George, friend of my uncle's.
Yeah. He told me to expect you.
1028
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:37,204
Come on in.
1029
00:46:37,412 --> 00:46:39,912
[THE HERBALISER'S 'THE SENSUAL
WOMAN' PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
1030
00:46:41,745 --> 00:46:44,579
So welcome to the Paradise.
1031
00:46:48,829 --> 00:46:49,870
What the fuck?
1032
00:46:50,412 --> 00:46:51,787
Can I hike your clothes?
No.
1033
00:46:51,954 --> 00:46:53,204
You sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
1034
00:46:53,370 --> 00:46:54,495
Okay, follow me.
Yeah.
1035
00:46:54,662 --> 00:46:56,829
This is Bill.
ERIC: Hey, Bill.
1036
00:46:56,995 --> 00:46:58,704
That was a panda.
1037
00:46:58,870 --> 00:46:59,954
Go easy on that thing.
1038
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,162
Didi, Ginger.
1039
00:47:02,412 --> 00:47:03,995
Clambake.
1040
00:47:04,162 --> 00:47:06,412
Good look at that. That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
1041
00:47:06,579 --> 00:47:09,579
This group right here.
They're crazy.
1042
00:47:09,787 --> 00:47:11,537
ERIC:
My grandma has that thing.
1043
00:47:11,704 --> 00:47:13,287
Another time, probably.
1044
00:47:13,454 --> 00:47:15,204
You need anything,
just ask for Fred.
1045
00:47:15,370 --> 00:47:17,412
Oh, Fred's Beds?
That's a different Fred.
1046
00:47:17,579 --> 00:47:18,620
I'm a dentist.
1047
00:47:18,787 --> 00:47:21,912
Vic, he is over there in the
futon section. All right?
1048
00:47:22,079 --> 00:47:23,245
Okay.
Have a good time.
1049
00:47:23,412 --> 00:47:24,454
Thanks, Dr. Fred.
1050
00:47:24,620 --> 00:47:25,745
You guys be good.
1051
00:47:25,912 --> 00:47:28,620
ERIC: Whoa. Should've had
this guy at the wedding.
1052
00:47:28,954 --> 00:47:30,287
Love the new Price is Right.
1053
00:47:30,454 --> 00:47:32,287
[COCOSUMAS THE JAR
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
1054
00:47:33,700 --> 00:47:35,500
Hey, Mikey Hey
1055
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:36,800
Little McCrudden.
1056
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:37,900
Holy shit, you've grown.
Yeah.
1057
00:47:38,100 --> 00:47:40,700
How you doing, baby?
Good, good.
1058
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,400
How's your folks?
Good, they're on a cruise
1059
00:47:44,700 --> 00:47:46,600
Mom got her pound cake
recipe published.
1060
00:47:46,700 --> 00:47:48,800
This is my buddy Eric.
Eric, Vic.
1061
00:47:49,300 --> 00:47:50,700
First time at
the Paradise, eh, guys?
1071
00:47:51,500 --> 00:47:53,900
Come on, guys, take off
the clothes and get fucking.
1072
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:57,800
No. No fucking. No. Actually, no, no.
We're here more doing research
1073
00:47:57,900 --> 00:48:00,100
than anything else.
We're gonna throw an orgy.
1074
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:01,700
We were hoping we can
get a little advice.
1077
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:03,200
Just let me finish up here.
1078
00:48:03,300 --> 00:48:05,300
No rush.
Rush if you want.
1079
00:48:05,500 --> 00:48:06,300
Rush a little.
ELLEN: Oh.
1080
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,900
Come on, cowboy.
Time to shine.
1086
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:12,400
Look at me, not her.
1087
00:48:12,700 --> 00:48:14,000
Look at me, not her. Look at me.
I'm not gonna look at him.
1092
00:48:14,500 --> 00:48:16,200
Do me a favor, count me down.
1093
00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:20,200
Five, four, three...
1094
00:48:20,300 --> 00:48:22,400
Go back to 10!
Ten, nine, eight...
1095
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,500
Oh! Your mom's
a good woman.
1099
00:48:26,500 --> 00:48:27,500
Just so you know.
1101
00:48:32,500 --> 00:48:34,100
Holy shit, I got a second one.
1106
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,600
I'm guessing,
we could really use your expertise.
1107
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:40,600
How do we make sure
that the women are into it?
1108
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:44,300
Don't worry about the women,
worry about you guys.
1120
00:48:44,700 --> 00:48:46,600
Okay, so how
do we make it happen?
1123
00:48:47,100 --> 00:48:48,600
Just because you have a bunch
of naked people in the room
1124
00:48:48,700 --> 00:48:50,800
doesn't mean
you're all going to get it on.
1126
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:53,100
Sometimes a girl just
wants to have a heart-to-heart,
1127
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,200
and she ends up
pulling a train.
1128
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:57,400
Uh, pulling a train?
Mm.
1129
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:00,200
Yeah, you know.
A train.
1131
00:49:06,500 --> 00:49:07,900
Ha-ha-ha.
That's a choo-choo train. Thank you.
1136
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:09,700
ERIC: Wow. Yes.
One more thing.
1137
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,300
Every wolf pack has a leader.
I take it you're the lead wolf?
1138
00:49:12,335 --> 00:49:15,900
Fucking A.
Uh, yeah. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah.
1139
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:20,000
VIC: Well, then it's
all on your shoulders.
1140
00:49:20,100 --> 00:49:23,300
If you don't run,
nobody behind you can run.
1141
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:25,900
Oh, that's good.
What does that mean? What do I do?
1142
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:28,100
You have to get naked.
1146
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:34,000
You've goth get naked in your mind,
in your heart, in your soul.
1147
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:37,100
You've goth be honest
with yourself and everybody
1148
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:40,900
about what you want. If you're
a pegger, be honest about that.
1154
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:42,700
What is a pegger?
1155
00:49:43,300 --> 00:49:45,100
Chick fucks a dude up the ass
with a strap-on.
1156
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:49,400
Yeah, not really my bag,
but like I always say,
1157
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:51,400
I'm willing to try
anything twice.
1162
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:57,700
Hello, senator. Hello.
1163
00:49:59,700 --> 00:50:01,600
This is a lot to process.
1165
00:50:02,700 --> 00:50:04,000
VIC:
You listen to me.
1166
00:50:04,700 --> 00:50:07,200
You can't force it
and you can't fake it.
1167
00:50:08,500 --> 00:50:13,600
So you better cut the bullshit,
nut up, and be a man.
1169
00:50:16,300 --> 00:50:17,500
Now if you'll excuse me,
1170
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,100
I feel the blood
rushing back to my sword.
1171
00:50:20,900 --> 00:50:22,200
I noticed that.
1172
00:50:24,300 --> 00:50:26,500
Well, hey, Vic, thank you.
This is all good stuff.
1173
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,200
Good advice.
Yeah. Good. Thank you.
1174
00:50:28,700 --> 00:50:30,100
My pleasure, guys.
1175
00:50:30,700 --> 00:50:32,400
Okay, watch that thing.
This is unnecessary.
1177
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:34,300
VIC:
Good luck.
1180
00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:37,700
Okay. Good, we need to go now.
1182
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:40,030
Don't eat anything here.
1183
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:41,500
You son of a bitch.
Don't.
1186
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,200
Holy shit, is that...?
Oh, boy.
1187
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:50,500
Keep going. Don't let her see you.
1189
00:50:52,578 --> 00:50:55,412
ERIC: Oh. Man, oh, man. All right.
KELLY: That was good?
1190
00:50:55,578 --> 00:50:56,870
That was good.
Yeah.
1191
00:50:57,037 --> 00:50:58,162
Yeah, okay, here we go.
1192
00:50:59,328 --> 00:51:01,203
You ready?
Showtime.
1193
00:51:02,662 --> 00:51:04,703
Sh... Shit.
1194
00:51:04,870 --> 00:51:06,162
I'm gonna count that.
Okay.
1195
00:51:06,328 --> 00:51:07,995
I'm gonna count that there.
Okay.
1196
00:51:08,162 --> 00:51:10,870
Yeah, it's juvenile.
I've been meaning to ask you something.
1197
00:51:11,037 --> 00:51:13,537
What?
What's Dody like as a boss?
1198
00:51:13,703 --> 00:51:17,328
She just seems like she could be
a little, you know, domineering.
1199
00:51:17,495 --> 00:51:21,245
Oh, my gosh, no. I mean, she's
not what you think, you know.
1200
00:51:21,412 --> 00:51:23,703
I mean, of course,
at work she's all business,
1201
00:51:23,870 --> 00:51:26,162
but, Eric, she has
traveled the world.
1202
00:51:26,328 --> 00:51:28,578
No shit.
She speaks all these languages.
1203
00:51:28,745 --> 00:51:31,203
Wow.
She's just full of surprises.
1204
00:51:31,370 --> 00:51:32,912
Oh, I bet she is.
1205
00:51:33,078 --> 00:51:35,162
I bet she's been places
I can only imagine.
1206
00:51:35,495 --> 00:51:38,328
So, like, now that
you're super into me...
1207
00:51:38,495 --> 00:51:39,828
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
1208
00:51:39,995 --> 00:51:42,745
No, there's something
I actually have to tell you.
1209
00:51:42,912 --> 00:51:44,370
Sincerely I, um...
Really?
1210
00:51:44,537 --> 00:51:46,495
Yeah, I kind of misled you.
Uh...
1211
00:51:46,662 --> 00:51:51,537
What you saw today was not an actual
representation of my Frisbee golf skills.
1212
00:51:51,703 --> 00:51:53,828
Yeah. I let you win.
1213
00:51:53,995 --> 00:51:55,662
Really? Yeah.
1214
00:51:55,828 --> 00:51:57,828
So I want a rematch.
Like, big time.
1215
00:51:58,703 --> 00:52:01,162
Or you could just stick
to sucking at pool.
1216
00:52:01,828 --> 00:52:03,328
Ooh.
1217
00:52:03,495 --> 00:52:05,662
Sss!
Oh.
1218
00:52:10,870 --> 00:52:12,120
One more.
1219
00:52:12,287 --> 00:52:13,495
That's it, though.
No.
1220
00:52:13,662 --> 00:52:15,745
That was the last one.
That's for the road.
1221
00:52:15,870 --> 00:52:16,953
I will call you.
1222
00:52:17,328 --> 00:52:19,245
Okay.
All right.
1223
00:52:22,620 --> 00:52:24,953
What are you doing
for Labor Day?
1224
00:52:25,995 --> 00:52:28,412
Oh, yeah. Is that...?
Yeah, Labor Day.
1225
00:52:28,578 --> 00:52:30,370
Um, you know what?
1226
00:52:30,537 --> 00:52:33,245
The guys and the crew,
we're all gonna, um...
1227
00:52:33,412 --> 00:52:35,287
We're doing
this small little thing,
1228
00:52:35,453 --> 00:52:37,953
this intimate little thing.
Nothing... Nothing special.
1229
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,620
Well, I was thinking
that maybe, you know,
1230
00:52:40,787 --> 00:52:43,453
your friends and my friends
could get together.
1231
00:52:43,620 --> 00:52:44,870
Yeah.
1232
00:52:45,037 --> 00:52:46,453
Oh, that sounds great.
Yeah?
1233
00:52:46,620 --> 00:52:48,537
We should definitely
look into that maybe.
1234
00:52:48,703 --> 00:52:50,120
Yeah. It'd be fun.
1235
00:52:50,287 --> 00:52:53,037
So, wait, Eric, is that...?
Is that a maybe?
1236
00:52:53,203 --> 00:52:56,287
Yeah, it's a maybe. It's a definite maybe.
It's a hard, hard maybe.
1237
00:52:56,453 --> 00:52:58,495
We should definitely
think about doing that.
1238
00:52:58,662 --> 00:53:00,912
Let's lock it in as a possibility.
1239
00:53:01,078 --> 00:53:02,287
Okay.
Okay.
1240
00:53:02,453 --> 00:53:04,703
I'll call you about it.
1241
00:53:04,870 --> 00:53:05,995
Or write you.
1242
00:53:06,162 --> 00:53:07,953
Heh, okay.
1243
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:10,412
Carrier pigeon. Something.
I'll get a hold of you.
1244
00:53:10,578 --> 00:53:12,287
Good night, Eric.
Good night, Kelly.
1245
00:53:18,287 --> 00:53:21,078
[GRUNTING]
1246
00:53:23,912 --> 00:53:25,787
[GROANS]
1247
00:53:31,287 --> 00:53:33,495
What are you doing up?
Oh, I never went down.
1248
00:53:33,662 --> 00:53:37,120
Stayed up drinking with a dude from Blues
Traveler in the Talkhouse parking lot.
1249
00:53:37,287 --> 00:53:41,453
Like an hour ago, fucking dude
says the bubonic plague is back.
1250
00:53:41,620 --> 00:53:43,870
Great. Another thing
to worry about.
1251
00:53:45,453 --> 00:53:47,037
What are you doing up?
1252
00:53:47,412 --> 00:53:49,912
I got a bit of a situation.
1253
00:53:50,078 --> 00:53:51,870
Hit me.
1254
00:53:52,037 --> 00:53:55,703
Okay, but first off,
you can't tell anyone.
1255
00:53:55,870 --> 00:53:57,662
Dude, look who you're talking to.
1256
00:53:57,828 --> 00:53:59,578
It's the vault.
Seriously.
1257
00:53:59,745 --> 00:54:02,120
A lot of people tell people
you can't tell someone,
1258
00:54:02,287 --> 00:54:05,203
and those people go and tell someone.
That cannot happen.
1259
00:54:05,370 --> 00:54:07,703
Hey. You tell no one.
1260
00:54:07,870 --> 00:54:09,536
Not even Rodrigo?
1261
00:54:09,703 --> 00:54:13,036
Why would you tell a 50-year-old
Guatemalan landscaper about my life?
1262
00:54:13,203 --> 00:54:15,745
Because he's a good
sounding board, okay?
1263
00:54:15,911 --> 00:54:19,078
But if you're gonna get all weird
about it, I won't tell Rodrigo.
1264
00:54:19,245 --> 00:54:21,245
I appreciate it.
1265
00:54:22,161 --> 00:54:24,078
I went on a date last night.
1266
00:54:24,245 --> 00:54:25,495
So far, so good.
1267
00:54:25,661 --> 00:54:26,703
With the Realtor chick.
1268
00:54:27,703 --> 00:54:29,203
Dody Henderson?
Did she peg you?
1269
00:54:29,370 --> 00:54:32,161
No, not Dody.
I went out with Kelly.
1270
00:54:32,328 --> 00:54:33,495
Oh, thank the Lord.
1271
00:54:33,661 --> 00:54:35,661
I felt bad for your
butt hole for a minute.
1272
00:54:35,828 --> 00:54:36,870
Heh, heh.
Yeah.
1273
00:54:37,036 --> 00:54:41,245
Yeah, and I think
we've got a problem because
1274
00:54:42,161 --> 00:54:43,828
I really kind of dig her now.
1275
00:54:45,495 --> 00:54:47,828
I don't know what to do
about the orgy situation.
1276
00:54:47,995 --> 00:54:49,370
Are you fucking with me?
1277
00:54:49,536 --> 00:54:51,661
I know.
What are the odds?
1278
00:54:51,828 --> 00:54:53,578
I mean, seriously,
I'm smack dab
1279
00:54:53,745 --> 00:54:55,411
in the middle
of organizing an orgy.
1280
00:54:55,578 --> 00:54:56,911
Orgy, yeah.
Yes. Yeah.
1281
00:54:57,078 --> 00:54:59,495
And I meet the first girl
in a long time
1282
00:54:59,661 --> 00:55:02,203
that I can see myself
having a relationship with.
1283
00:55:02,453 --> 00:55:05,036
Hmm.
I goth tell her about the orgy.
1284
00:55:05,203 --> 00:55:07,120
What? Ha-ha-ha!
1285
00:55:07,286 --> 00:55:09,620
No. No. It's so stupid.
1286
00:55:09,786 --> 00:55:12,036
No. Listen to me. No, no.
1287
00:55:12,203 --> 00:55:15,703
You don't ever, ever, ever
tell her about our little soiree here.
1288
00:55:15,870 --> 00:55:17,286
Ever.
1289
00:55:17,453 --> 00:55:18,953
Have you perked her yet?
1290
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:21,453
Oh, goddamn it, Mike.
I hate when you say stuff.
1291
00:55:21,620 --> 00:55:23,661
No. No, we've kissed.
1292
00:55:23,828 --> 00:55:25,536
Kissed, good. Okay, good.
1293
00:55:25,703 --> 00:55:28,120
Keep it PG until
after Labor Day, okay?
1294
00:55:28,286 --> 00:55:31,661
As long as you haven't had the exclusivity
talk, and you're not boning...
1295
00:55:31,828 --> 00:55:33,620
Yeah, I know.
Then you, my friend,
1296
00:55:33,786 --> 00:55:34,953
are a free agent.
1297
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:37,078
Mm, I don't know, dude.
1298
00:55:37,245 --> 00:55:41,286
Listen to me.
You do not know what or who
1299
00:55:41,453 --> 00:55:43,328
she's been doing
in her free time, ace.
1300
00:55:43,495 --> 00:55:46,661
So just keep it in your pants
until apr�s Labor Day
1301
00:55:46,828 --> 00:55:48,453
and then
it'll just be this crazy,
1302
00:55:48,620 --> 00:55:51,745
wet, vivid, erotic
1303
00:55:51,911 --> 00:55:55,245
sexual misadventure
in your past
1304
00:55:55,411 --> 00:55:58,245
that you never have to
tell her about.
1305
00:56:02,578 --> 00:56:03,620
Okay...
1306
00:56:03,786 --> 00:56:05,745
Okay?
All right, that's the plan.
1307
00:56:05,911 --> 00:56:08,995
Thank you.
That was oddly helpful.
1308
00:56:09,161 --> 00:56:12,078
I am not just a pretty face.
1309
00:56:13,453 --> 00:56:14,828
ADAM:
Oof, ma goof.
1310
00:56:14,995 --> 00:56:17,036
Daddy really needs
to get in shape.
1311
00:56:17,203 --> 00:56:19,245
Oh, I'm with you.
I may even cut out curbs,
1312
00:56:19,411 --> 00:56:21,828
except for pizza
and sandwiches, obviously.
1313
00:56:22,536 --> 00:56:26,370
Are you guys worried at all about
performing in front of everyone else?
1314
00:56:27,078 --> 00:56:29,078
Look, it's not a race.
1315
00:56:29,245 --> 00:56:31,286
Well, assuming
that we can all get wood,
1316
00:56:31,453 --> 00:56:33,203
one of us will have
the smallest dick.
1317
00:56:33,370 --> 00:56:36,245
And I, for one, do not wanna
have the smallest dick.
1318
00:56:36,411 --> 00:56:37,453
Okay. Two things.
1319
00:56:37,620 --> 00:56:41,203
The ladies are gonna be too concerned
about their bodies to think about yours.
1320
00:56:41,370 --> 00:56:43,703
And secondly, that's all myth.
1321
00:56:44,620 --> 00:56:46,370
Women do not care
about penis size.
1322
00:56:46,536 --> 00:56:48,953
Who do you think
has the biggest dick?
1323
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:50,203
I think I know.
1324
00:56:50,995 --> 00:56:54,036
Boom. Ah!
You're next, Uncle Addie.
1325
00:56:54,203 --> 00:56:55,995
Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
1326
00:56:56,161 --> 00:56:58,911
No one fucking said anything
about giving any fucking blood.
1327
00:56:59,078 --> 00:57:00,370
Oops.
And can someone explain
1328
00:57:00,536 --> 00:57:04,536
why they need to puncture your vein to find
out if there's a problem with your shvantz?
1329
00:57:04,703 --> 00:57:06,953
Summer after freshman year,
1330
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:11,036
Yeah?
I walked in on one of the guys
1331
00:57:11,203 --> 00:57:13,120
whacking off.
1332
00:57:13,286 --> 00:57:15,411
Shut up. Who?
I won't say.
1333
00:57:15,578 --> 00:57:16,953
No, no, no, who?
Who? Who?
1334
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:22,703
I'm not gonna tell you, but I
will say that it was a monster.
1335
00:57:22,870 --> 00:57:25,536
Hey. That is my blood.
1336
00:57:25,703 --> 00:57:27,161
That used to be inside you.
1337
00:57:27,328 --> 00:57:28,411
I'm gonna lie down.
1338
00:57:28,578 --> 00:57:30,203
What?
Duquez, Duquez!
1339
00:57:30,370 --> 00:57:32,328
You goth give us ballpark...
Right, right.
1340
00:57:32,494 --> 00:57:33,494
Like is that...?
1341
00:57:33,661 --> 00:57:35,869
It's more like...
It was like that.
1342
00:57:36,036 --> 00:57:37,411
What?
But the head.
1343
00:57:37,578 --> 00:57:39,119
What?
It's even bigger.
1344
00:57:39,286 --> 00:57:40,494
Mama likes.
1345
00:57:40,661 --> 00:57:42,494
I don't know
if you're gonna like it.
1346
00:57:44,619 --> 00:57:46,953
McCRUDDEN:
Oh, hi.
1347
00:57:47,119 --> 00:57:48,328
KELLY:
Eric?
1348
00:57:48,494 --> 00:57:50,744
Kelly. Uh, we're just
heading back to the city.
1349
00:57:50,911 --> 00:57:52,703
We'll be in touch this week.
Good.
1350
00:57:52,869 --> 00:57:53,911
Regarding the house.
1351
00:57:54,078 --> 00:57:56,953
Of course, the house, yes.
Yeah, I'll page you.
1352
00:57:59,453 --> 00:58:01,828
Dody.
Eric.
1353
00:58:01,994 --> 00:58:03,869
The password this week
is unicorn.
1354
00:58:05,036 --> 00:58:07,078
Well, I don't know
if that'll be nece...
1355
00:58:11,286 --> 00:58:13,786
[ART VS SCIENCE'S 'PARLEZ-VOUS
FRANCAIS?' PLAYING]
1356
00:58:18,286 --> 00:58:20,494
Moving up and down
Like an elevator?
1357
00:58:20,661 --> 00:58:22,119
[BUZZING]
1358
00:58:23,078 --> 00:58:25,536
We're here to share
our experiences
1359
00:58:25,703 --> 00:58:29,453
in creating the perfect orgy
of your personal fantasies.
1360
00:58:29,619 --> 00:58:32,286
[WOMEN MOANING]
1361
00:58:32,453 --> 00:58:34,369
[ALL YELLING]
1362
00:58:34,536 --> 00:58:36,994
ERIC: See that?
Everybody's always touching two people.
1363
00:58:37,161 --> 00:58:38,911
McCRUDDEN:
A little teamwork.
1364
00:58:39,078 --> 00:58:40,619
They're playing good team ball.
1365
00:58:40,786 --> 00:58:43,078
ERIC:
Okay, I think we get the picture.
1366
00:58:43,244 --> 00:58:45,411
[WOMEN MOANING ON TV]
1367
00:58:47,411 --> 00:58:49,911
[ALL LAUGHING]
1368
00:58:50,161 --> 00:58:51,869
ADAM:
McCrudds, you want some pizza?
1369
00:58:52,036 --> 00:58:53,661
No, I'm not hungry.
Thank you.
1370
00:58:53,828 --> 00:58:55,911
Got an all-I-can-eat buffet
going right here.
1371
00:58:57,119 --> 00:58:58,994
Let me try.
Try this.
1372
00:58:59,578 --> 00:59:00,911
What is that?
1373
00:59:03,828 --> 00:59:05,578
WOMAN [ON TV]: Oh!
MAN [ON TV]: Shit!
1374
00:59:05,744 --> 00:59:08,078
Oh, he's doing my move.
Look at that.
1375
00:59:08,244 --> 00:59:10,244
He knows the Thoosh.
1376
00:59:13,161 --> 00:59:14,411
LAURA:
Hey, you guys? Guys.
1377
00:59:14,578 --> 00:59:18,869
Back to the music. Are we...?
Are we really gonna listen to Indian the whole night?
1378
00:59:19,036 --> 00:59:21,744
I think it might get a little...
Cab ride-y? Agreed. Yeah.
1379
00:59:21,911 --> 00:59:24,203
I'm working on
a killer playlist right now.
1380
00:59:24,369 --> 00:59:26,036
Got some obscure Radiohead.
1381
00:59:26,203 --> 00:59:28,244
Who has sex to Radiohead?
1382
00:59:28,411 --> 00:59:30,244
Thom Yorke.
1383
00:59:30,411 --> 00:59:31,786
No Radiohead.
No Radiohead.
1384
00:59:31,953 --> 00:59:35,078
I think we need something
sensual, like Sting.
1385
00:59:35,244 --> 00:59:36,619
I love Sting.
McCRUDDEN: No.
1386
00:59:36,786 --> 00:59:39,036
Unacceptable.
Absolutely not fucking Sting.
1387
00:59:39,203 --> 00:59:41,869
That's bullshit, man.
If Sting comes on the fucking stereo,
1388
00:59:42,036 --> 00:59:43,494
guess who's walking.
This guy.
1389
00:59:43,661 --> 00:59:45,703
Sting, it is then.
1390
00:59:45,869 --> 00:59:47,744
[ALL LAUGH AND GROAN]
1391
00:59:47,911 --> 00:59:50,453
Yeah?
Sol
1392
00:59:50,619 --> 00:59:51,911
got you a little present.
1393
00:59:52,078 --> 00:59:53,119
Really?
Mm-hm.
1394
00:59:53,494 --> 00:59:56,119
It's filled with some great things
for next weekend.
1395
00:59:56,286 --> 00:59:58,369
It's not my birthday. Oh.
1396
00:59:59,869 --> 01:00:03,411
ERIC: Look, oh, boy. Oh, wow. Look at that guy.
He's like a Swiss Army dude.
1397
01:00:03,578 --> 01:00:05,828
Wow, that's great.
People are gonna love that.
1398
01:00:05,994 --> 01:00:08,453
Just so you know...
Mm-hm?
1399
01:00:08,619 --> 01:00:10,536
I'm not wearing
any underwear right now.
1400
01:00:10,703 --> 01:00:12,078
Ew, on these stools?
1401
01:00:12,244 --> 01:00:13,994
Well, well, well,
the gang's all here.
1402
01:00:14,161 --> 01:00:15,869
ERIC:
Paciellio!
1403
01:00:16,036 --> 01:00:17,536
Hi.
Paciellio.
1404
01:00:17,703 --> 01:00:18,786
[ALL CHEERING]
1405
01:00:18,953 --> 01:00:20,744
Hi, guys.
What's up?
1406
01:00:20,911 --> 01:00:22,703
We have some business
to discuss.
1407
01:00:22,869 --> 01:00:28,494
Right. So Glenn and I
have talked it over and...
1408
01:00:29,661 --> 01:00:32,078
we would like to be
included in the orgy.
1409
01:00:33,661 --> 01:00:35,619
We're in.
1410
01:00:35,786 --> 01:00:36,869
We wanna do it.
1411
01:00:38,619 --> 01:00:39,786
[CHUCKLES]
1412
01:00:39,953 --> 01:00:41,869
Um...
1413
01:00:43,619 --> 01:00:44,661
No.
1414
01:00:44,828 --> 01:00:45,953
Why not? What...
What?
1415
01:00:46,119 --> 01:00:47,953
We already lined up
my folks to babysit.
1416
01:00:48,453 --> 01:00:51,911
Guys, guys, as a friend
and a menial-health professional,
1417
01:00:52,078 --> 01:00:53,869
I think it is a horrible idea.
1418
01:00:54,036 --> 01:00:56,119
If you feel disconnected,
I understand...
1419
01:00:56,286 --> 01:00:58,953
Alison, with all due respect,
1420
01:00:59,119 --> 01:01:01,452
you're an MA, I'm an MD.
1421
01:01:01,827 --> 01:01:03,327
You're a podiatrist.
1422
01:01:03,494 --> 01:01:05,161
Okay, let's hike a vote.
1423
01:01:05,327 --> 01:01:07,577
How many people want us in?
Right.
1424
01:01:07,744 --> 01:01:10,869
I would just like to say that I
think they maybe have a point here.
1425
01:01:11,036 --> 01:01:14,327
Just because they have a baby doesn't
mean we should discriminate.
1426
01:01:14,494 --> 01:01:17,661
Plus, Kate's rack
is killer right now.
1427
01:01:17,827 --> 01:01:19,411
Thank you, Michael.
Yeah.
1428
01:01:19,577 --> 01:01:23,077
Jesus, Mike, are you insane?
No. No, no.
1429
01:01:23,244 --> 01:01:26,119
Dude, dude, dude, 10 o'clock.
Ten o'clock. My 10, my 10.
1430
01:01:27,411 --> 01:01:28,744
Shit.
1431
01:01:28,911 --> 01:01:31,577
Hey! Look who it is.
1432
01:01:31,744 --> 01:01:33,244
Hi, there it is.
1433
01:01:33,411 --> 01:01:35,286
Hey, uh, this is my Realtor,
Kelly.
1434
01:01:35,452 --> 01:01:37,161
This is the group, the gang.
1435
01:01:37,327 --> 01:01:38,952
Hi, Kelly.
Hi, Kelly.
1436
01:01:39,119 --> 01:01:41,494
Gosh, I've heard so much
about all of you guys.
1437
01:01:41,661 --> 01:01:43,161
How? When?
1438
01:01:43,327 --> 01:01:45,911
What? Why? What's she hiking about?
Let's get a drink.
1439
01:01:46,077 --> 01:01:47,702
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1440
01:01:48,827 --> 01:01:51,619
You think we couldn't handle
this because we're parents?
1441
01:01:51,786 --> 01:01:54,786
Well, we can handle shit
that you can't even imagine.
1442
01:01:54,952 --> 01:01:57,536
You know, you motherfuckers
have no idea.
1443
01:01:57,702 --> 01:01:59,036
That's right.
GLENN: No idea.
1444
01:01:59,202 --> 01:02:01,369
KATE: Come on.
You... You...
1445
01:02:01,536 --> 01:02:03,536
You're ll lightweights
1446
01:02:03,702 --> 01:02:06,494
You are all playing JV ball.
1447
01:02:06,661 --> 01:02:07,702
Lightweights.
Whoa.
1448
01:02:07,869 --> 01:02:09,744
All right, Glenn.
KATE: Come on, honey.
1449
01:02:10,786 --> 01:02:14,077
On a lighter note,
I have this present.
1450
01:02:14,244 --> 01:02:16,369
[BUZZING]
1451
01:02:16,536 --> 01:02:17,702
Dildos.
1452
01:02:17,869 --> 01:02:20,786
You know, in a pinch, this would
be great for a toothbrush.
1453
01:02:23,702 --> 01:02:25,244
And I have no idea
what this is.
1454
01:02:25,411 --> 01:02:27,702
Hey, Eric, what's up
with all the dildos?
1455
01:02:27,869 --> 01:02:30,869
Hey, those are my friends.
Hey, what's going on with the house?
1456
01:02:31,036 --> 01:02:35,786
Um, I've been able to slow things down
to buy you till the end of the summer.
1457
01:02:36,369 --> 01:02:37,911
Really? Yeah.
1458
01:02:38,661 --> 01:02:40,661
Oh, you're the best.
1459
01:02:42,994 --> 01:02:44,327
Thank you so much.
1460
01:02:44,494 --> 01:02:46,036
What is that?
What?
1461
01:02:46,202 --> 01:02:47,744
What's going on?
Nothing.
1462
01:02:47,911 --> 01:02:49,661
He told me not to tell
anybody so...
1463
01:02:49,827 --> 01:02:51,161
Yeah, okay.
You know.
1464
01:02:52,327 --> 01:02:53,911
Keep it on the down-low.
Yeah.
1465
01:02:54,077 --> 01:02:55,869
He asked her out
to get them to shill.
1466
01:02:56,036 --> 01:02:57,619
Went on a couple dates,
likes her,
1467
01:02:57,786 --> 01:03:01,286
doesn't want to sleep with her before
the orgy because it's wrong to do both.
1468
01:03:01,452 --> 01:03:03,327
Oh. He doesn't wanna
sleep with her.
1469
01:03:03,494 --> 01:03:05,661
That actually means
he likes her.
1470
01:03:05,827 --> 01:03:06,827
Oh.
ALISON: Awesome.
1471
01:03:06,994 --> 01:03:08,661
Hey. Dildo wave.
1472
01:03:08,827 --> 01:03:10,827
ALISON: Hi.
ALL: Hi.
1473
01:03:13,661 --> 01:03:16,327
Hey...
1474
01:03:28,952 --> 01:03:30,494
Phewl
1475
01:03:30,661 --> 01:03:33,244
Yo, maharajah,
wanna get my back for me?
1476
01:03:33,411 --> 01:03:35,536
What is this shit?
Self tanner, man.
1477
01:03:35,702 --> 01:03:37,536
I wanna look like a porn star.
1478
01:03:37,702 --> 01:03:40,036
Fuck me, I just stroked out
my third batch du jour.
1479
01:03:40,202 --> 01:03:43,952
You boys might wanna do the same.
Don't wanna come quick like a bunch of amateurs.
1480
01:03:44,119 --> 01:03:46,952
Oh, God.
I am not touching you.
1481
01:03:47,911 --> 01:03:49,952
Ah, fuck it.
I'm gonna whack it again.
1482
01:03:50,119 --> 01:03:52,869
LAURA: You look so pretty.
So do you.
1483
01:03:53,036 --> 01:03:54,077
Thank you.
1484
01:03:54,244 --> 01:03:55,619
I love it.
1485
01:03:55,786 --> 01:03:57,369
ERIC:
Consider yourself warned.
1486
01:03:57,536 --> 01:04:00,911
This absinthe is the real deal.
I had it flown in from Amsterdam.
1487
01:04:01,077 --> 01:04:05,244
The guy that sold it to me said it's the stuff
Van Gogh was on when he cut his ear off.
1488
01:04:05,411 --> 01:04:06,577
Oh, no.
McCRUDDEN: Uh-oh.
1489
01:04:06,744 --> 01:04:08,494
It's gonna be
a starry night, huh?
1490
01:04:08,661 --> 01:04:09,786
It smells like licorice.
1491
01:04:09,952 --> 01:04:12,286
A toast. A toast.
1492
01:04:12,452 --> 01:04:13,952
To friends.
ADAM: Ohh.
1493
01:04:14,119 --> 01:04:15,494
ERIC: To friends.
ALL: Ohh.
1494
01:04:15,661 --> 01:04:19,744
And to making sweet love
with, to, near...
1495
01:04:19,911 --> 01:04:21,161
On.
In.
1496
01:04:21,327 --> 01:04:23,411
Under. And behind.
1497
01:04:23,577 --> 01:04:25,577
[ALL GROAN]
1498
01:04:25,744 --> 01:04:27,494
All rig ht, salad'.
I 'chain?!
1499
01:04:30,827 --> 01:04:32,410
Hagalaka.
1500
01:04:32,577 --> 01:04:34,577
ERIC:
Whoo! Sober. Never more
1501
01:04:34,744 --> 01:04:36,619
[GRUNTS]
1502
01:04:36,785 --> 01:04:38,577
[CLICKS TONGUE]
1503
01:04:40,910 --> 01:04:42,327
[SIGHS]
1504
01:04:42,910 --> 01:04:44,577
The pillows look really nice.
1505
01:04:44,744 --> 01:04:46,035
ALL:
Yeah.
1506
01:04:46,202 --> 01:04:48,119
These Crate and Barrel or...?
1507
01:04:56,702 --> 01:04:57,744
You guys look great.
1508
01:04:57,910 --> 01:04:59,035
Oh, thanks.
1509
01:04:59,202 --> 01:05:00,535
You look so fucking hot.
1510
01:05:00,702 --> 01:05:03,535
I'm just being honest.
I wanna lick your belly button.
1511
01:05:03,702 --> 01:05:06,744
And yours, your belly button's nice too.
You got a good one too.
1512
01:05:06,910 --> 01:05:10,035
I haven't seen yours, but I'm gonna
lick the shit out of that thing.
1513
01:05:10,202 --> 01:05:11,535
Wow.
1514
01:05:11,702 --> 01:05:14,535
As the de facto lead wolf,
right?
1515
01:05:14,702 --> 01:05:17,452
I, uh...
I should kick this mofo off,
1516
01:05:17,619 --> 01:05:20,744
but I goth be honest with you.
I have no idea what to do, so...
1517
01:05:20,910 --> 01:05:22,369
Lead wolf?
Oh, yeah.
1518
01:05:22,535 --> 01:05:25,702
You had to be there kind of.
Tut-tut-tut. Okay.
1519
01:05:25,869 --> 01:05:28,327
Listen up, everybody.
As per usual,
1520
01:05:28,494 --> 01:05:31,369
it is up to me
to get this party started.
1521
01:05:31,535 --> 01:05:34,827
Hang on. I got something for you.
Hang on a second, ladies.
1522
01:05:34,994 --> 01:05:37,410
[ALL LAUGHING]
1523
01:05:37,577 --> 01:05:39,827
[ALL CHEERING]
1524
01:05:39,994 --> 01:05:42,452
Yeah, rock 'n' roll.
Holy moly.
1525
01:05:42,619 --> 01:05:43,660
We're on safari now.
1526
01:05:43,827 --> 01:05:44,910
Yeah.
1527
01:05:45,077 --> 01:05:46,535
How many leopards had to die?
1528
01:05:46,702 --> 01:05:48,827
Just one big old kinky leopard.
1529
01:05:50,202 --> 01:05:51,577
They won't kick us out.
1530
01:05:51,744 --> 01:05:53,577
If we're here,
they won't kick us out.
1531
01:05:53,744 --> 01:05:56,119
Okay.
They won't do it.
1532
01:05:56,285 --> 01:05:59,285
And we're totally sure
we wanna do this?
1533
01:06:02,869 --> 01:06:06,077
Somebody do something. Huh?
1534
01:06:06,244 --> 01:06:08,952
All right? Anybody?
1535
01:06:09,785 --> 01:06:14,119
All right, fuck it. I'm gonna call it.
Sue, kiss Alison. I'm gonna shirt touching myself.
1536
01:06:14,285 --> 01:06:17,952
Oh. We could shirt with a
back-rub circle like in college.
1537
01:06:18,119 --> 01:06:19,535
[MEN GROAN]
1538
01:06:20,702 --> 01:06:22,869
I'll get things started.
1539
01:06:23,035 --> 01:06:24,452
Yes. Yeah!
1540
01:06:24,619 --> 01:06:26,660
Here we go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1541
01:06:27,494 --> 01:06:30,494
I'm sorry, I can't.
I can't do this any more.
1542
01:06:30,660 --> 01:06:32,285
I can't.
I can't do this. I'm sorry.
1543
01:06:32,452 --> 01:06:34,619
[IMITATES CHICKEN CLUCKING]
1544
01:06:34,785 --> 01:06:35,785
I knew it.
1545
01:06:35,952 --> 01:06:38,119
I knew you'd fucking
puss out, man.
1546
01:06:38,285 --> 01:06:40,535
I'm not pussing out.
I'm in a relationship
1547
01:06:40,702 --> 01:06:43,535
that I really appreciate.
And I don't wanna fuck this up.
1548
01:06:43,702 --> 01:06:46,452
Classic Duquez. You know,
it's like doughnuts, no doughnuts,
1549
01:06:46,619 --> 01:06:48,452
hat, no hat, orgy, no orgy.
1550
01:06:48,619 --> 01:06:50,410
We hike a look-see
through the window
1551
01:06:50,577 --> 01:06:53,077
and if it looks, like,
too freaky or lame,
1552
01:06:53,244 --> 01:06:54,785
Yeah.
We hike off.
1553
01:06:54,952 --> 01:06:59,035
And if it looks,
you know, cool, we go in.
1554
01:06:59,202 --> 01:07:00,827
Okay? okay...
1555
01:07:00,994 --> 01:07:02,410
I'm not mad at you.
1556
01:07:02,577 --> 01:07:04,910
Eric, Eric. I love
what's going on here,
1557
01:07:05,077 --> 01:07:07,160
but I don't think
you need to insult.
1558
01:07:07,327 --> 01:07:09,910
You should actually communicate.
My God, Alison, please.
1559
01:07:10,077 --> 01:07:13,577
Give it a rest? Just one night?
You're uncomfortable with emotion.
1560
01:07:13,744 --> 01:07:16,244
Oh, yeah, I can't. I'm the
only one here with issues.
1561
01:07:16,410 --> 01:07:19,077
It's just me? What about you
and your relationship?
1562
01:07:19,244 --> 01:07:20,410
We broke up.
You broke up?
1563
01:07:20,577 --> 01:07:21,577
Yes.
You broke up?
1564
01:07:21,744 --> 01:07:25,077
Like you broke up a couple years ago
at the Oktoberfest in July party?
1565
01:07:25,244 --> 01:07:27,327
That kind?
What happened on Oktoberfest?
1566
01:07:27,494 --> 01:07:30,744
This one tells me that her and
Marcus are broken up. Over.
1567
01:07:30,910 --> 01:07:33,910
We're joking, having drinks,
she tells me about it, we hook up.
1568
01:07:34,077 --> 01:07:36,619
Next morning, she's having
brunch with the guy.
1569
01:07:36,785 --> 01:07:39,077
Whoa, whoa, wait? What?
1570
01:07:39,244 --> 01:07:40,535
You never told me this.
1571
01:07:40,702 --> 01:07:44,452
Sue, I don't need to tell you because nothing happened.
We didn't sleep together.
1572
01:07:44,619 --> 01:07:46,952
You told me it was a blowjob,
she wouldn't swallow.
1573
01:07:47,119 --> 01:07:49,244
No, I did not, Mike.
I did not say that.
1574
01:07:49,410 --> 01:07:51,869
It was a fucking hand job.
Hand job. That's right.
1575
01:07:52,035 --> 01:07:54,119
It was a hand job.
I'm sorry. My bad.
1576
01:07:54,285 --> 01:07:56,452
ALISON: Please don't go there.
SUE: No, no, no.
1577
01:07:56,619 --> 01:07:59,952
Alison, shut up.
You're a hypocrite.
1578
01:08:00,118 --> 01:08:01,368
What's going on?
1579
01:08:01,535 --> 01:08:05,868
First of all, they're dressed
like Indians from India.
1580
01:08:06,035 --> 01:08:07,952
That makes much more sense.
Yeah.
1581
01:08:08,118 --> 01:08:10,868
This is why I don't tell you.
You could've given him a blowjob.
1582
01:08:11,035 --> 01:08:13,368
Why didn't you fuck him?
Why don't you get over it?
1583
01:08:13,535 --> 01:08:16,327
How long are you gonna be
obsessed with Eric?
1584
01:08:17,327 --> 01:08:18,368
Oh, shit.
1585
01:08:19,410 --> 01:08:20,910
Wait, what?
1586
01:08:22,368 --> 01:08:24,327
Okay. okay...
1587
01:08:24,493 --> 01:08:26,660
Urch' your brakes on, people.
1588
01:08:26,827 --> 01:08:29,368
We are rapidly losing
the erotic vibe.
1589
01:08:29,993 --> 01:08:33,493
I'm gonna get this party rocking
right here in a major way.
1590
01:08:33,660 --> 01:08:35,202
What you got, man?
1591
01:08:35,368 --> 01:08:37,743
Ready, set, here we go.
1592
01:08:37,910 --> 01:08:40,160
Oh! Let loose
the Kraken.
1593
01:08:40,327 --> 01:08:42,202
Yeah!
1594
01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:45,327
Will you give it a break, Mike?
This shit's pathetic.
1595
01:08:45,493 --> 01:08:48,077
Oh, fuck you. You fucking pussy.
You're lame.
1596
01:08:48,243 --> 01:08:49,660
You're the lame one, man.
1597
01:08:49,827 --> 01:08:53,160
You don't have a job. You don't have a girlfriend.
You follow Eric around
1598
01:08:53,327 --> 01:08:56,618
and do everything he tells you to do.
You're like his little fucking pet.
1599
01:08:59,368 --> 01:09:00,952
Dougie.
1600
01:09:01,118 --> 01:09:02,160
Fuck you, Doug.
1601
01:09:06,910 --> 01:09:10,827
Is that what you think of me? You think that I'm his...?
You think I'm his fucking pet?
1602
01:09:10,993 --> 01:09:12,660
ALL:
No.
1603
01:09:13,410 --> 01:09:16,868
He meant pet in a nice way.
1604
01:09:19,618 --> 01:09:21,618
Is he fucking with me right now?
1605
01:09:22,077 --> 01:09:24,993
This is the worst orgy ever.
1606
01:09:25,160 --> 01:09:27,160
Should we just go home or...?
1607
01:09:27,327 --> 01:09:28,785
No.
1608
01:09:28,952 --> 01:09:31,160
We already got a sitter.
1609
01:09:31,327 --> 01:09:33,827
You wanna go see a movie
or you wanna...?
1610
01:09:37,577 --> 01:09:39,160
Okay, okay.
All right, time out.
1611
01:09:39,327 --> 01:09:41,452
Time out.
Time out, T.O., okay?
1612
01:09:41,618 --> 01:09:44,827
I think everyone just needs
to take a deep breath.
1613
01:09:44,993 --> 01:09:46,243
All right?
1614
01:09:47,285 --> 01:09:50,702
We need to relax and chill out
for a second, all right?
1615
01:09:50,868 --> 01:09:52,368
Whoa!
1616
01:09:52,535 --> 01:09:53,827
Where are you going?
Ah.
1617
01:09:53,993 --> 01:09:56,077
I'm just going outside
to get some fresh air.
1618
01:09:56,243 --> 01:09:57,743
Clear my head.
1619
01:09:58,702 --> 01:10:00,743
[SIGHS THEN CHUCKLES]
1620
01:10:00,910 --> 01:10:03,410
I swear to God, guys,
I thought this was gonna be fun.
1621
01:10:06,118 --> 01:10:07,452
[SIGHS]
1622
01:10:11,827 --> 01:10:13,743
[SIGHS]
1623
01:10:20,368 --> 01:10:22,368
[KATE MOANING]
1624
01:10:24,577 --> 01:10:25,702
[SQUEAKING]
1625
01:10:25,868 --> 01:10:26,868
[KATE 8; GLENN MOANING]
1626
01:10:27,035 --> 01:10:29,535
KATE:
Oh, yeah. Oh!
1627
01:10:29,702 --> 01:10:32,368
Why won't God
just let me have an orgy?
1628
01:10:39,952 --> 01:10:43,202
Okay.
All right, here we go.
1629
01:10:43,368 --> 01:10:44,452
[CLEARS THROAT]
1630
01:10:46,327 --> 01:10:48,660
Eric.
Kelly, heh, heh.
1631
01:10:48,827 --> 01:10:51,368
What are you doing?
I thought you were with your friends.
1632
01:10:51,535 --> 01:10:52,702
I know. I know. Uh...
1633
01:10:52,868 --> 01:10:54,410
Did you fly here on a carpet?
1634
01:10:54,577 --> 01:10:56,785
No, heh. No, no. I, uh...
1635
01:10:56,952 --> 01:10:59,868
It's a last-second
costume concept for, uh...
1636
01:10:59,993 --> 01:11:04,160
Look, I, uh... I've been thinking about
things and I realized something.
1637
01:11:04,952 --> 01:11:06,035
Oh, shit.
1638
01:11:06,202 --> 01:11:08,785
I thought we ordered pizza.
What'd you get, Indian food?
1639
01:11:11,452 --> 01:11:12,493
I'm sorry.
1640
01:11:12,660 --> 01:11:15,535
I, uh... Sorry to interrupt.
Sorry.
1641
01:11:15,702 --> 01:11:18,452
Uh, Pete, give us a second?
Hey, hey, hey, Eric.
1642
01:11:18,618 --> 01:11:20,160
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
1643
01:11:20,327 --> 01:11:21,410
You didn't call.
I know.
1644
01:11:21,577 --> 01:11:24,243
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1645
01:11:24,410 --> 01:11:27,118
Oh, pizza? Really?
1646
01:11:27,285 --> 01:11:29,201
I'm sorry.
No, that's all right.
1647
01:11:29,368 --> 01:11:31,160
Hey, what's up, man?
Eighteen bucks.
1648
01:11:31,326 --> 01:11:32,826
Go, have fun. Hone...
1649
01:11:32,993 --> 01:11:35,160
Honestly. No biggie.
1650
01:11:35,326 --> 01:11:36,660
I'll call you tomorrow.
1651
01:11:38,451 --> 01:11:39,868
Bye.
1652
01:11:41,743 --> 01:11:45,660
McCRUDDEN: Like I don't know
that I don't have a girlfriend.
1653
01:11:45,826 --> 01:11:51,201
Like I'm not trying to remember that
every fucking night of my life.
1654
01:11:51,368 --> 01:11:53,576
It's hard.
1655
01:11:55,368 --> 01:11:56,451
[DOOR CLOSES]
1656
01:12:00,285 --> 01:12:03,285
So where were we?
Where'd you go?
1657
01:12:03,451 --> 01:12:05,535
I know, I know, I know,
I, uh... Heh.
1658
01:12:05,701 --> 01:12:08,451
I'm sorry I left. You know, I...
1659
01:12:08,618 --> 01:12:12,993
I'm gonna be honest with you, guys.
Um, I'm freaking out a little.
1660
01:12:15,951 --> 01:12:18,618
I have had the best times
of my life
1661
01:12:18,785 --> 01:12:20,951
with you guys in this house
1662
01:12:21,118 --> 01:12:25,743
and I'm gonna miss it.
1663
01:12:26,118 --> 01:12:28,743
I'm gonna miss it so much.
1664
01:12:28,910 --> 01:12:31,285
I love you GUYS...
1665
01:12:34,868 --> 01:12:36,243
She wasn't home, huh?
1666
01:12:36,910 --> 01:12:39,743
No. No, She was home.
1667
01:12:39,910 --> 01:12:41,076
She was on a date.
1668
01:12:41,243 --> 01:12:42,660
[ALL GROAN]
1669
01:12:42,826 --> 01:12:46,201
Yeah. And I showed up
dressed like fucking Aladdin.
1670
01:12:46,368 --> 01:12:48,035
[ALL CHUCKLE]
1671
01:12:48,201 --> 01:12:50,576
Well, I think that
you look adorable.
1672
01:12:50,743 --> 01:12:55,076
And I am so happy
that you're back.
1673
01:12:55,243 --> 01:12:58,826
It's been a pretty
emotional night for all of us.
1674
01:12:58,993 --> 01:13:02,326
How about a big
super-gay group hug?
1675
01:13:02,493 --> 01:13:04,535
ERIC: Oh, yeah.
LAURA: Group hug.
1676
01:13:04,701 --> 01:13:05,701
ERIC:
Yeah.
1677
01:13:05,868 --> 01:13:08,201
LAURA:
Oh! I love you guys.
1678
01:13:08,368 --> 01:13:10,535
ALL:
Aw!
1679
01:13:13,076 --> 01:13:14,285
Oh, my God.
1680
01:13:14,451 --> 01:13:16,535
SUE:
Wow.
1681
01:13:16,701 --> 01:13:19,993
Oh, my... I would not
have called that.
1682
01:13:20,160 --> 01:13:22,660
[BOTH MOANING]
1683
01:13:24,160 --> 01:13:25,743
Hey, what was that
about earlier?
1684
01:13:25,910 --> 01:13:27,243
Yeah, nothing. Later.
What?
1685
01:13:27,410 --> 01:13:29,660
[LITTLE DRAGON'S
BLINKING PIGS PLAYING]
1686
01:13:29,826 --> 01:13:31,076
Wha...?
1687
01:13:32,201 --> 01:13:33,951
Oh, gosh!
1688
01:13:34,118 --> 01:13:36,368
It's happening.
It's really happening.
1689
01:13:36,535 --> 01:13:39,243
We can do this.
I don't know if I can.
1690
01:13:39,410 --> 01:13:41,118
We'll do it together.
Okay?
1691
01:13:43,493 --> 01:13:45,701
One.
1692
01:13:45,868 --> 01:13:46,993
[SIGHS]
1693
01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:49,118
Two.
1694
01:13:51,493 --> 01:13:52,535
Three.
1695
01:13:55,368 --> 01:13:57,326
Hello, boobs.
1696
01:13:57,493 --> 01:13:59,868
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1697
01:14:00,035 --> 01:14:01,160
Are they okay?
1698
01:14:02,368 --> 01:14:03,993
They're fucking fabulous.
1699
01:14:04,660 --> 01:14:06,826
Thank you.
1700
01:14:09,201 --> 01:14:12,285
Oh. And just so you know, um,
1701
01:14:12,451 --> 01:14:16,743
I've never been able to orgasm,
so no pressure.
1702
01:14:16,910 --> 01:14:18,826
I'm all about giving pleasure.
1703
01:14:18,993 --> 01:14:21,076
This is so much better
than porn.
1704
01:14:21,243 --> 01:14:24,076
[BOTH LAUGH]
1705
01:14:29,493 --> 01:14:31,493
Well, hey-o.
1706
01:14:31,660 --> 01:14:33,118
Oh, my God!
1707
01:14:33,285 --> 01:14:34,285
I told you so.
1708
01:14:34,451 --> 01:14:35,535
You weren't kidding.
1709
01:14:36,201 --> 01:14:39,118
That is remarkable
that he is insecure.
1710
01:14:39,285 --> 01:14:41,868
[McCRUDDEN SHOUTS IN SPANISH]
1711
01:14:42,035 --> 01:14:44,035
Tequila!
1712
01:14:44,201 --> 01:14:45,951
You got what I need
1713
01:14:46,118 --> 01:14:48,826
[ALL SHOUT IN SPANISH]
1714
01:14:49,701 --> 01:14:51,826
And you say He's just a friend?
1715
01:14:51,993 --> 01:14:54,868
Oh, baby, you?
1716
01:14:55,034 --> 01:14:58,034
Got what I need
1717
01:14:58,201 --> 01:15:00,409
But you say He's just a friend?
1718
01:15:00,576 --> 01:15:02,451
[ALL CHEERING]
1719
01:15:03,159 --> 01:15:06,118
Oh, baby, you?
1720
01:15:06,284 --> 01:15:08,368
Got whet I need?
1721
01:15:08,534 --> 01:15:11,118
McCRUDDEN:
Everybody, drink from the ceiling.
1722
01:15:13,451 --> 01:15:16,284
[MAYER HAWTHORNE'S
THIN MOON PLAYING]
1723
01:15:21,159 --> 01:15:23,243
Hey, Mike.
Hi there.
1724
01:15:23,409 --> 01:15:27,451
You guys have goth try these chocolate-covered
strawberries. They're so decadent.
1725
01:15:27,618 --> 01:15:29,909
Oh, no, no. I'm good.
I just had some Bagel Bites.
1726
01:15:30,076 --> 01:15:33,409
Where'd you get Bagel Bites?
Shh. Forget it.
1727
01:15:33,576 --> 01:15:35,159
Mahalo, freaky people.
1728
01:15:35,326 --> 01:15:39,076
We were thinking it might be fun if we
all went out and made love in the pool.
1729
01:15:39,243 --> 01:15:41,576
Yes, yes.
Yeah, you wanna go in the pool?
1730
01:15:41,743 --> 01:15:44,118
No. No, no. We're good
right here. We're good.
1731
01:15:44,284 --> 01:15:45,743
Oh, we're okay.
Yeah.
1732
01:15:45,909 --> 01:15:49,076
Thanks though.
It's chlorinated. Have fun.
1733
01:15:51,493 --> 01:15:53,534
Sue, I'm so happy for you.
1734
01:15:53,701 --> 01:15:56,784
All right, Hey, guys, could we
just get a minute? Just a minute?
1735
01:15:56,951 --> 01:15:58,784
Yeah, just give us
a sec, will you?
1736
01:15:58,951 --> 01:16:01,868
Oh, so sorry.
1737
01:16:02,034 --> 01:16:05,368
We're not giving you
enough privacy at an orgy?
1738
01:16:05,534 --> 01:16:09,159
Oh, kind of a fair hit.
Yeah, now, shh.
1739
01:16:09,326 --> 01:16:11,201
Are you okay?
You wanna talk or something?
1740
01:16:11,368 --> 01:16:14,201
No, no.
Just be in the moment.
1741
01:16:14,368 --> 01:16:17,409
Okay. Yeah, no, can do. Can do.
Okay. Okay.
1742
01:16:19,993 --> 01:16:22,076
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, yeah?
1743
01:16:22,243 --> 01:16:23,701
You like to dirty talk?
Yeah?
1744
01:16:23,868 --> 01:16:25,576
Ooh, fuck.
Okay, you wanna fuck me?
1745
01:16:25,743 --> 01:16:28,576
You wanna fuck me hard?
No, Sue. Hop off. My foot, my foot.
1746
01:16:28,743 --> 01:16:29,784
Oh, oh, okay.
1747
01:16:29,951 --> 01:16:31,034
Oh, foot cramp.
Oh!
1748
01:16:31,201 --> 01:16:32,493
Okay.
Ooh, that's a doozie.
1749
01:16:32,659 --> 01:16:33,826
Shh. Okay. All right
1750
01:16:33,993 --> 01:16:36,784
Oh, God, my big toe's so far
away from my other toes.
1751
01:16:36,951 --> 01:16:38,826
Okay, hey.
Hey, flex it out.
1752
01:16:38,993 --> 01:16:40,659
Flex it out. Flex it, okay.
1753
01:16:40,826 --> 01:16:43,076
Oh, we should have
done this 15 years ago.
1754
01:16:43,576 --> 01:16:45,493
Hey, guys.
1755
01:16:45,659 --> 01:16:47,993
I broke my diet.
1756
01:16:50,659 --> 01:16:52,493
Okay. You're good?
Oh, yeah.
1757
01:16:52,659 --> 01:16:54,534
Yeah? You're good?
Okay. There it goes.
1758
01:16:54,701 --> 01:16:57,034
There it goes. Oh, wow.
Okay.
1759
01:16:57,201 --> 01:16:58,951
Shh! Okay. Okay.
Okay.
1760
01:16:59,118 --> 01:17:02,409
Oh, no, it's back.
It's back worse!
1761
01:17:02,576 --> 01:17:04,659
Ooh, it's... The little guy
is in on it now.
1762
01:17:04,826 --> 01:17:07,451
Hey, gang. Sake bombs.
1763
01:17:07,618 --> 01:17:10,034
[LAUGHS]
1764
01:17:10,201 --> 01:17:11,659
[ALL SHOUTING IN JAPANESE]
1765
01:17:11,826 --> 01:17:13,993
[FRENCH HORN REBELLION'S
THIS MOMENT PLAYING]
1766
01:17:14,159 --> 01:17:16,701
[McCRUDDEN MOANING]
1767
01:17:16,868 --> 01:17:18,118
Oh, my God!
1768
01:17:18,284 --> 01:17:20,951
Oh, my God, my dick is having
the best night of its life.
1769
01:17:21,118 --> 01:17:23,993
Oh, we're all fucking.
Oh, we're all finally fucking.
1770
01:17:24,159 --> 01:17:26,201
Oh, and I can be as loud
as I fucking want!
1771
01:17:26,368 --> 01:17:27,409
ERIC:
Oh, no. Shh, shh.
1772
01:17:27,576 --> 01:17:28,951
[LAUGHING]
1773
01:17:29,951 --> 01:17:31,368
Owl Ow, my contact.
1774
01:17:31,534 --> 01:17:32,951
Alison, my contact.
1775
01:17:33,118 --> 01:17:36,159
I'm good. I'm good. Play through.
Bro, count me down.
1776
01:17:36,326 --> 01:17:38,784
What?
Count me down from five.
1777
01:17:38,951 --> 01:17:41,993
What does that even mean?
Oh, fuck! Count me down from 10.
1778
01:17:42,159 --> 01:17:44,368
Count him down, Adam.
Just count him down.
1779
01:17:44,534 --> 01:17:45,701
[BOTH MOANING]
1780
01:17:45,868 --> 01:17:48,284
This whole sex in the pool thing
is not working.
1781
01:17:48,451 --> 01:17:50,951
Water is not a lubricant.
1782
01:17:51,118 --> 01:17:54,409
McCRUDDEN: Okay, brothers and sisters.
Let's hike this party indoors.
1783
01:17:54,576 --> 01:17:57,201
ADAM:
I'm running with a boner!
1784
01:17:57,576 --> 01:17:59,076
Pineapple mojitos.
1785
01:17:59,243 --> 01:18:00,284
[ALL CHEER]
1786
01:18:00,451 --> 01:18:01,909
Yeah, mulched with fresh mint.
1787
01:18:02,076 --> 01:18:03,534
[GLASS SHATTERS]
1788
01:18:03,701 --> 01:18:04,743
Fuck!
1789
01:18:04,909 --> 01:18:06,034
Are you ready?
1790
01:18:06,201 --> 01:18:08,284
As I'll ever be.
1791
01:18:10,243 --> 01:18:12,576
[ALL CHEERING
AND LAUGHING]
1792
01:18:12,743 --> 01:18:15,076
Ooh!
I'm next, I'm next, I'm next.
1793
01:18:16,326 --> 01:18:17,368
Vodka tonic.
1794
01:18:17,534 --> 01:18:18,743
[ALL CHEER]
1795
01:18:20,826 --> 01:18:22,784
[McCRUDDEN GRUNTS]
1796
01:18:22,951 --> 01:18:25,867
Yo, can I tag in?
1797
01:18:26,034 --> 01:18:29,451
Oh! You're like the sweet,
tender lion.
1798
01:18:29,617 --> 01:18:31,242
Mike, go away.
1799
01:18:31,409 --> 01:18:34,867
You guys haven't slept with anybody else yet.
You're hogging Willow.
1800
01:18:35,034 --> 01:18:36,701
Go away.
1801
01:18:36,867 --> 01:18:38,576
Go away, Mike.
1802
01:18:38,742 --> 01:18:39,784
Vodka.
1803
01:18:39,951 --> 01:18:40,992
[ALL GROAN]
1804
01:18:41,159 --> 01:18:42,201
Come on.
1805
01:18:42,367 --> 01:18:46,409
Sue, I just wanna say I'm so sorry
about the whole Eric thing.
1806
01:18:46,576 --> 01:18:49,867
No. Totally don't.
It's so over. I don't care.
1807
01:18:50,034 --> 01:18:54,701
No, but you know, you're a really
good friend and I love you.
1808
01:18:54,867 --> 01:18:59,159
No, I love you.
You are so smart and you're so beautiful.
1809
01:18:59,326 --> 01:19:03,034
And I totally get why he would
wanna be with you.
1810
01:19:03,201 --> 01:19:04,576
You're the beautiful one.
1811
01:19:04,742 --> 01:19:07,576
Oh, my God,
your body is ridiculous.
1812
01:19:07,742 --> 01:19:09,867
Your body is ridiculous, okay?
1813
01:19:10,034 --> 01:19:13,159
And I would give anything
to have your breasts
1814
01:19:13,326 --> 01:19:14,951
just for, like, one day.
1815
01:19:15,117 --> 01:19:19,534
Yeah, but your ass
is off the charts, seriously.
1816
01:19:19,742 --> 01:19:22,076
Okay. I would kill
to have your eyes.
1817
01:19:22,242 --> 01:19:25,992
You know that you have
the most beautiful green eyes
1818
01:19:26,159 --> 01:19:29,284
that I have ever seen.
1819
01:19:29,451 --> 01:19:31,534
[DELIBES LAKME -
FLOWER DUET PLAYING]
1820
01:19:34,826 --> 01:19:36,242
SUE:
Oh, yeah.
1821
01:19:37,826 --> 01:19:39,826
[WOMEN MOANING]
1822
01:19:41,409 --> 01:19:42,909
SUE: Oh, yeah
ALISON: Oh!
1823
01:19:43,576 --> 01:19:44,826
Wow!
1824
01:19:44,992 --> 01:19:46,159
I saw that.
You see that?
1825
01:19:46,326 --> 01:19:50,034
It looked like a little flash of light.
I know. I think I just... God.
1826
01:19:50,742 --> 01:19:52,659
I never thought I'd
hear myself say this,
1827
01:19:52,826 --> 01:19:55,034
but I'm gonna hike a break
1828
01:19:55,201 --> 01:19:58,076
from this
girl-on-girl-on-girl action
1829
01:19:58,242 --> 01:20:01,701
and check the score
of the Yankee game.
1830
01:20:01,867 --> 01:20:03,867
ALISON:
This feels fucking fabulous.
1831
01:20:04,034 --> 01:20:06,784
[ALISON MOANING]
1832
01:20:08,117 --> 01:20:09,117
ALISON:
Ah, Michael!
1833
01:20:09,784 --> 01:20:11,492
Let's go.
Are you sure?
1834
01:20:11,659 --> 01:20:13,617
Yes, 100,000 percent sure.
1835
01:20:13,784 --> 01:20:16,201
Let's go. Right now.
Okay, okay. Let's go.
1836
01:20:16,367 --> 01:20:19,951
You fucking did it. Look at this.
You are awe-inspiring.
1837
01:20:20,117 --> 01:20:21,201
Oh.
1838
01:20:21,367 --> 01:20:22,534
Thank you, Mike.
No.
1839
01:20:22,701 --> 01:20:26,951
I'm gonna tell you something right now and I
want you to listen because I fucking mean it.
1840
01:20:27,117 --> 01:20:28,659
Okay...
1841
01:20:28,826 --> 01:20:31,742
You could be the president
of the United States.
1842
01:20:31,909 --> 01:20:33,492
[ENIGMA'S SADENESS (PART I)
PLAYING]
1843
01:20:33,659 --> 01:20:35,492
Well, not after
something like this.
1844
01:20:35,659 --> 01:20:38,909
Hey, shh, no.
I'm fucking serious.
1845
01:20:39,076 --> 01:20:42,117
You could do it
if you wanted to.
1846
01:20:42,284 --> 01:20:44,117
Yeah.
1847
01:20:44,284 --> 01:20:46,159
You're getting kind of close,
Mike.
1848
01:20:46,326 --> 01:20:47,742
Am I?
Yeah.
1849
01:20:47,909 --> 01:20:49,159
Oh.
1850
01:20:49,326 --> 01:20:51,617
You're not trying to kiss me,
are you?
1851
01:20:51,784 --> 01:20:53,409
Would it scare you if I was?
1852
01:20:54,326 --> 01:20:56,117
I guess So.
1853
01:20:56,284 --> 01:20:58,617
Fucking kiss chicken, dude.
1854
01:20:58,784 --> 01:21:01,076
It's on.
All right.
1855
01:21:01,242 --> 01:21:02,909
Let me just
set this right here.
1856
01:21:03,076 --> 01:21:04,659
Whatever.
1857
01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:13,784
You scared yet?
1858
01:21:14,909 --> 01:21:15,992
No.
1859
01:21:16,159 --> 01:21:18,409
McCRUDDEN: No?
ERIC: Mm-mm.
1860
01:21:18,576 --> 01:21:22,076
How about now?
Touching your nose with my nose.
1861
01:21:22,242 --> 01:21:24,409
It's okay, I'm part Eskimo.
1862
01:21:24,617 --> 01:21:26,534
McCRUDDEN:
We're nose-kissing, buddy.
1863
01:21:26,701 --> 01:21:29,076
It's more than our noses
touching right now.
1864
01:21:29,242 --> 01:21:31,576
It's our souls.
1865
01:21:36,576 --> 01:21:38,409
Yeah, that's been brewing
for years.
1866
01:21:38,576 --> 01:21:39,867
Well, I think we both won.
1867
01:21:40,034 --> 01:21:41,826
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
1868
01:21:41,992 --> 01:21:43,742
I'm pretty sure
we both just lost.
1869
01:21:43,909 --> 01:21:46,909
[THE LOVE LANGUAGES
HEART TO TELL' PLAYING]
1870
01:21:47,951 --> 01:21:49,784
Tonic.
ALL: Boo!
1871
01:21:49,951 --> 01:21:51,034
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
1872
01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:52,575
[MOANING]
1873
01:21:52,742 --> 01:21:55,784
Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop.
Almost there. Almost there.
1874
01:21:55,950 --> 01:21:58,200
No, don't stop. Don't stop.
Ah! Don't stop.
1875
01:21:58,575 --> 01:22:01,617
It feels so good.
It feels so good, don't stop.
1876
01:22:03,492 --> 01:22:05,492
Hm?
Mmm.
1877
01:22:05,659 --> 01:22:06,659
How about that?
1878
01:22:06,825 --> 01:22:09,242
So how long
has this been going on?
1879
01:22:09,409 --> 01:22:10,659
About a half an hour.
1880
01:22:10,825 --> 01:22:12,825
I'm good. I'm gonna...
I'm getting it. Ah!
1881
01:22:12,992 --> 01:22:14,075
Poor bastard.
1882
01:22:14,242 --> 01:22:16,200
Fucking so good. Aahl
1883
01:22:16,367 --> 01:22:17,659
ERIC:
Hang in there, buddy.
1884
01:22:17,825 --> 01:22:18,992
Almost there.
1885
01:22:19,159 --> 01:22:22,450
Yeah. Yes. Yes!
1886
01:22:22,617 --> 01:22:24,409
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm coming.
1887
01:22:24,575 --> 01:22:27,075
Yes! Oh, yes!
1888
01:22:27,242 --> 01:22:28,825
Yes, yes, yes!
1889
01:22:28,992 --> 01:22:31,825
Oh, yes! Yes!
1890
01:22:31,992 --> 01:22:34,784
Yes! Aahl
1891
01:22:54,325 --> 01:22:57,117
Hey! Good morning, everybody.
1892
01:22:57,284 --> 01:22:59,325
So, uh, look what I got.
1893
01:22:59,492 --> 01:23:01,950
Commemorative Labor Day
orgy T-shirts right here.
1894
01:23:02,117 --> 01:23:03,450
Pink and blue.
1895
01:23:03,617 --> 01:23:05,742
Unisex, 100 percent cotton.
1896
01:23:05,909 --> 01:23:06,950
You made T-shirts?
1897
01:23:07,117 --> 01:23:08,534
McCRUDDEN:
Yup. Laura.
1898
01:23:08,867 --> 01:23:10,534
Huh?
1899
01:23:11,325 --> 01:23:12,700
Where are we gonna wear these?
1900
01:23:12,867 --> 01:23:15,325
Anywhere.
What do you mean?
1901
01:23:15,909 --> 01:23:19,284
Jesus Christ, I am
hungover like a madman.
1902
01:23:19,450 --> 01:23:20,450
[GROANS]
1903
01:23:20,617 --> 01:23:22,825
All right, ladies.
Ladies, I got one...
1904
01:23:22,992 --> 01:23:24,534
One easy question for all of you.
1905
01:23:25,075 --> 01:23:28,284
Overall,
where would you rank me?
1906
01:23:28,450 --> 01:23:29,825
Just have a bagel and relax.
1907
01:23:29,992 --> 01:23:32,450
Listen, I need to know.
I just... I need to know.
1908
01:23:32,617 --> 01:23:36,409
Well, for me,
there was one clear winner.
1909
01:23:36,575 --> 01:23:40,159
Okay, I know, good. Eric. Blah, blah.
Big surprise. What about this guy?
1910
01:23:40,325 --> 01:23:43,409
I was gonna say Adam.
Adam.
1911
01:23:43,575 --> 01:23:44,825
What?
1912
01:23:44,992 --> 01:23:47,492
For a neurotic hypochondriac
with panic attacks,
1913
01:23:47,659 --> 01:23:50,117
he was really uninhibited.
1914
01:23:50,284 --> 01:23:52,575
So what? Out of the four dudes
in the house,
1915
01:23:52,742 --> 01:23:55,992
I didn't even rank in the top two?
That's what you're telling me?
1916
01:23:56,159 --> 01:23:57,284
Didn't I do my move?
1917
01:23:57,450 --> 01:24:00,159
The move with the fingers
and the tongue? The Thoosh?
1918
01:24:00,534 --> 01:24:02,117
McCRUDDEN: Laura.
ERIC: You did it.
1919
01:24:02,284 --> 01:24:05,242
I thooshed you. I know I did.
You don't need to do it now.
1920
01:24:05,409 --> 01:24:07,075
We don't need to see it again.
1921
01:24:07,242 --> 01:24:08,950
Yeah. Can we just
eat breakfast?
1922
01:24:09,117 --> 01:24:11,534
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
1923
01:24:11,700 --> 01:24:12,700
It's Marcus.
1924
01:24:16,159 --> 01:24:17,534
Hello?
1925
01:24:18,534 --> 01:24:20,367
Oh, tell him how much
we missed him.
1926
01:24:20,534 --> 01:24:22,034
[GROANS]
1927
01:24:22,200 --> 01:24:23,700
WILLOW: Hey.
Everybody's up.
1928
01:24:23,867 --> 01:24:24,909
Hey.
1929
01:24:25,075 --> 01:24:26,284
ERIC:
Morning.
1930
01:24:26,450 --> 01:24:28,867
Hey, man, about the shit
that went down last night...
1931
01:24:29,034 --> 01:24:33,409
Dude. Oh, shit, I'm sorry if I did anything
weird to you or Willow, like, any thooshing.
1932
01:24:33,575 --> 01:24:37,700
Anything like that. I'm sorry.
I was so fucking hammered, I don't remember anything.
1933
01:24:37,867 --> 01:24:38,909
Seriously, nothing?
1934
01:24:39,075 --> 01:24:41,075
You don't remember anything?
No.
1935
01:24:41,242 --> 01:24:44,784
Nothing. I remember the fucking
absinthe shots and then that's it.
1936
01:24:44,950 --> 01:24:49,367
I'm so bummed, that was gonna be spank
fodder for the next 20 years of my life.
1937
01:24:49,534 --> 01:24:51,867
Total fucking blackout
Thank God.
1938
01:24:52,034 --> 01:24:53,242
Amen.
1939
01:24:53,409 --> 01:24:54,492
I got something for you.
1940
01:24:54,659 --> 01:24:56,742
Holy shit!
Dougie.
1941
01:24:56,909 --> 01:24:58,575
I did it. I got more coming.
1942
01:24:58,742 --> 01:25:00,534
Oh, my God, dude,
this is major.
1943
01:25:00,700 --> 01:25:05,367
I wanted hat, but he was
so passionate about no hat.
1944
01:25:05,534 --> 01:25:07,534
DUQUEZ: No fucking hat.
Good shit, man.
1945
01:25:07,700 --> 01:25:09,825
I still would've
Photoshopped in the dudes
1946
01:25:09,992 --> 01:25:12,159
schnizzing on your face.
But it's just me.
1947
01:25:12,325 --> 01:25:13,742
You made fucking shirts.
Fuck.
1948
01:25:13,909 --> 01:25:16,325
Yeah. Hey, Willow,
grab one of those.
1949
01:25:16,492 --> 01:25:18,325
It's blue and pink,
my favorite.
1950
01:25:18,492 --> 01:25:21,408
DUQUEZ: A medium. Awesome.
ADAM: It's the Breakfast Club.
1951
01:25:21,575 --> 01:25:24,283
ERIC: Oh, there he is.
Sam Rockwell.
1952
01:25:24,450 --> 01:25:26,658
Ha, yeah, there you go.
1953
01:25:26,825 --> 01:25:28,325
[ALL CHUCKLE]
1954
01:25:28,492 --> 01:25:30,742
Thank you, I'm sorry,
and you're welcome.
1955
01:25:30,908 --> 01:25:31,992
[LAUGHS]
1956
01:25:33,575 --> 01:25:34,742
Still a little sore.
1957
01:25:34,908 --> 01:25:37,200
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
1958
01:25:38,242 --> 01:25:39,283
Hi.
1959
01:25:40,658 --> 01:25:43,200
Yeah, I think
we're headed down shortly.
1960
01:25:44,117 --> 01:25:45,908
Yeah, I'll see you there.
1961
01:25:47,033 --> 01:25:49,450
That was Kelly.
Slut.
1962
01:25:49,617 --> 01:25:51,992
BOTH: Ooh!
ERIC: Uh, she's, uh,
1963
01:25:52,158 --> 01:25:53,992
headed to the beach.
I'm gonna meet her.
1964
01:25:54,158 --> 01:25:57,158
That's gonna be some awkward shit.
I wanna be front-row center.
1965
01:25:57,325 --> 01:25:58,950
Let's do it.
I'm there.
1966
01:26:00,408 --> 01:26:02,450
Give the ticks a goodbye hug
for me, please?
1967
01:26:02,617 --> 01:26:04,617
ERIC: I will do so.
ADAM: Okay.
1968
01:26:05,825 --> 01:26:07,700
[DOOR CLOSES]
1969
01:26:08,408 --> 01:26:09,950
Hhhh...
1970
01:26:10,117 --> 01:26:13,533
I can stay here
and hang out with you if...
1971
01:26:13,700 --> 01:26:15,450
Yeah, yes.
1972
01:26:15,658 --> 01:26:16,742
Okay, heh.
1973
01:26:16,908 --> 01:26:20,283
We could, uh, hike a dip
in the pool or something.
1974
01:26:20,450 --> 01:26:22,450
Oh, the... Yeah.
I don't know about the pool
1975
01:26:22,617 --> 01:26:24,742
after what happened
in there last night.
1976
01:26:24,908 --> 01:26:25,992
Ew.
1977
01:26:26,450 --> 01:26:29,242
But you wanna
do the crossword with me?
1978
01:26:30,075 --> 01:26:31,408
I'd love that.
1979
01:26:31,575 --> 01:26:33,450
[BOTH CLEAR THROAT]
1980
01:26:33,617 --> 01:26:35,367
Uh, 16 Across.
1981
01:26:36,617 --> 01:26:39,617
So, what happened
with, uh, you-know-who?
1982
01:26:39,783 --> 01:26:42,742
Marcus apologized.
He wants to go to couples therapy.
1983
01:26:42,908 --> 01:26:44,200
You're getting back together?
1984
01:26:44,367 --> 01:26:47,492
We're gonna go to city hall, get
married, see if we can make it work.
1985
01:26:47,658 --> 01:26:49,575
What the fuck?
Just kidding.
1986
01:26:49,742 --> 01:26:50,908
[ALL CHUCKLE]
1987
01:26:51,075 --> 01:26:55,033
Okay.
Yeah, no, it's totally over.
1988
01:26:55,200 --> 01:26:57,117
Nice.
I'm proud of you.
1989
01:26:57,283 --> 01:26:58,533
ALISON:
Thanks, Sue.
1990
01:26:58,700 --> 01:27:01,033
ERIC: That's too bad.
I always liked that guy.
1991
01:27:01,742 --> 01:27:03,825
God, I hope
Kate has some guys for us.
1992
01:27:03,992 --> 01:27:06,033
Hell, I'd even go to Hoboken.
1993
01:27:06,200 --> 01:27:09,325
I mean, if he's really amazing, I'd
consider going to Jersey City.
1994
01:27:09,492 --> 01:27:10,533
Oh, you would not.
1995
01:27:10,700 --> 01:27:12,700
I'm just making a point.
1996
01:27:12,867 --> 01:27:15,533
Uh, so Eric, um, last night,
1997
01:27:15,700 --> 01:27:17,242
Oh.
Some things came up.
1998
01:27:17,408 --> 01:27:19,867
Yeah, I swear.
I had no idea.
1999
01:27:20,033 --> 01:27:22,242
No, it's fine, really.
It was just something
2000
01:27:22,408 --> 01:27:24,367
that I needed
to get out of my system.
2001
01:27:31,742 --> 01:27:33,533
I hope she likes
my sloppy seconds.
2002
01:27:33,700 --> 01:27:35,575
Oh, come on.
2003
01:27:36,617 --> 01:27:39,575
Morning, Kelly.
Hey. Morning, Eric.
2004
01:27:39,742 --> 01:27:41,492
Hey.
2005
01:27:41,658 --> 01:27:43,533
Hi, I'm Mike.
We haven't officially met.
2006
01:27:43,700 --> 01:27:45,825
Nice to meet you.
Oh, wait, Mike.
2007
01:27:45,992 --> 01:27:49,033
Right. You're the guy
that Dody was asking about.
2008
01:27:49,200 --> 01:27:52,658
She wanted your number for some kind
of business thing or something?
2009
01:27:54,742 --> 01:27:57,158
Ah, what the fuck.
Give her my digits, all right?
2010
01:27:57,325 --> 01:27:59,367
Nice to meet you.
2011
01:27:59,533 --> 01:28:03,158
Let loose the Kraken. Yeah.
2012
01:28:03,325 --> 01:28:06,075
So wow. Okay.
2013
01:28:06,242 --> 01:28:07,742
About last night.
How about this?
2014
01:28:07,908 --> 01:28:09,658
What?
How about this about last night?
2015
01:28:09,825 --> 01:28:12,992
We never talk about it
ever, ever again.
2016
01:28:13,658 --> 01:28:15,242
It never happened.
All right?
2017
01:28:15,867 --> 01:28:17,617
You and I have just met.
2018
01:28:17,783 --> 01:28:20,200
We're starting fresh
right here, right now.
2019
01:28:21,783 --> 01:28:23,283
Done.
2020
01:28:23,450 --> 01:28:24,617
Done.
2021
01:28:24,783 --> 01:28:26,283
Hi, I'm Kelly.
Hi, Kelly. I'm Eric.
2022
01:28:26,450 --> 01:28:28,283
It's nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
2023
01:28:29,950 --> 01:28:32,283
[BOTH LAUGHING]
2024
01:28:39,783 --> 01:28:40,950
Hey!
2025
01:28:41,325 --> 01:28:44,617
[ALL CHEERING]
2026
01:28:47,616 --> 01:28:48,991
LAURA:
Your blackberry.
2027
01:28:49,158 --> 01:28:51,866
Ah! Just an empty
symbolic gesture.
2028
01:28:52,033 --> 01:28:53,533
I'm getting a new one
on Tuesday.
2029
01:28:53,700 --> 01:28:56,991
But that did feel really,
really good.
2030
01:28:57,158 --> 01:28:58,991
So this is the beach, huh?
2031
01:28:59,158 --> 01:29:00,658
Pretty beautiful. Who knew?
2032
01:29:00,825 --> 01:29:02,741
This is it.
Let's go on.
2033
01:29:02,908 --> 01:29:03,950
[CHUCKLES]
2034
01:29:08,533 --> 01:29:10,283
Okay, listen.
I've got some bad news.
2035
01:29:10,450 --> 01:29:11,991
You're al Qaeda.
No.
2036
01:29:12,158 --> 01:29:14,491
You know the delay I pulled
with closing the house?
2037
01:29:14,658 --> 01:29:16,575
It spooked the buyers
and they pulled out.
2038
01:29:16,741 --> 01:29:18,033
[CHUCKLES]
2039
01:29:18,200 --> 01:29:19,450
The house isn't sold?
No.
2040
01:29:21,825 --> 01:29:23,741
Are you mad?
No. No, no, no.
2041
01:29:23,908 --> 01:29:25,408
Will you hold on a sec though?
2042
01:29:25,575 --> 01:29:26,700
ERIC: Hey, guys!
Yeah?
2043
01:29:26,866 --> 01:29:29,450
Quick announcement.
I have a really shitty Realtor.
2044
01:29:29,616 --> 01:29:31,575
McCRUDDEN: Fire her.
And she blew the deal.
2045
01:29:31,741 --> 01:29:33,575
And the house still isn't sold.
2046
01:29:33,741 --> 01:29:35,908
[ALL CHEERING]
2047
01:29:38,075 --> 01:29:39,325
They're pissed.
They're mad.
2048
01:29:39,491 --> 01:29:41,658
Great, now they're pissed.
They're mad.
2049
01:29:41,825 --> 01:29:45,408
ERIC: Now I goth shirt thinking of
something to do for Memorial Day.
2050
01:29:45,575 --> 01:29:48,033
We've been kicking around
this idea for a brown party.
2051
01:29:48,200 --> 01:29:50,200
You know brown clothes,
brown food.
2052
01:29:52,200 --> 01:29:54,283
Hey, you guys
remember Kelly, right?
2053
01:29:54,450 --> 01:29:57,450
[TELEKINESIS' 'GOTTA GET IT
RIGHT NOW' PLAYING]
2054
01:29:59,491 --> 01:30:02,825
I always do what I am told
2055
01:30:02,991 --> 01:30:06,033
Jesus Christ I'm gettin' old?
2056
01:30:06,200 --> 01:30:09,158
And I gotta Get it right now?
2057
01:30:10,283 --> 01:30:13,283
I gotta get it right now?
2058
01:30:13,825 --> 01:30:16,950
All my friends are
So locked down?
2059
01:30:17,116 --> 01:30:20,575
And I'm 23
I should be screwin' around?
2060
01:30:20,741 --> 01:30:23,533
And I gotta Get it right now?
2061
01:30:24,866 --> 01:30:27,825
I gotta get it right now?
2062
01:30:28,700 --> 01:30:30,825
Gotta get it right now?
2063
01:30:32,158 --> 01:30:33,783
Gotta get it right now?
2064
01:30:33,950 --> 01:30:35,075
What do you want?
2065
01:30:35,241 --> 01:30:36,908
WOMAN:
Passwords roundelay.
2066
01:30:37,075 --> 01:30:38,158
Who's your connection?
2067
01:30:38,325 --> 01:30:39,908
Dody Henderson.
She's our Realtor.
2068
01:30:40,075 --> 01:30:41,991
Oh, Dody.
Yeah, she's in the swing.
2069
01:30:42,158 --> 01:30:44,700
Come on in.
Come on, you too.
2070
01:30:46,783 --> 01:30:48,325
Gotta get it right now?
2071
01:30:48,491 --> 01:30:50,991
Yeah. Okay.
2072
01:31:04,908 --> 01:31:08,283
I've got visions I can't see?
2073
01:31:08,450 --> 01:31:11,908
Country houses
And one-way streets?
2074
01:31:12,075 --> 01:31:14,325
I gotta get it right now?
2075
01:31:15,700 --> 01:31:19,200
I gotta get it right now?
2076
01:31:19,366 --> 01:31:22,866
Sometimes this feels
Like e dream?
2077
01:31:23,033 --> 01:31:26,158
Without the you Without the me?
2078
01:31:26,325 --> 01:31:29,075
And I gotta get it Right now?
2079
01:31:30,408 --> 01:31:33,116
I gotta get it right now?
2080
01:31:34,366 --> 01:31:36,283
ALL:
? You say he's just a friend?
2081
01:31:36,450 --> 01:31:39,408
? Oh, baby, you?
2082
01:31:39,575 --> 01:31:42,325
? You got what I need?
2083
01:31:42,491 --> 01:31:43,533
ADAM:
What?!
2084
01:31:43,700 --> 01:31:45,491
? But you say
He's just a friend?
2085
01:31:45,658 --> 01:31:48,325
? What, what
But you say he's just a friend?
2086
01:31:48,491 --> 01:31:50,908
? Oh, baby you?
2087
01:31:51,075 --> 01:31:54,075
[KENNEDY'S ABSTINENCE:
DON'T DO IT PLAYING]
2088
01:32:03,408 --> 01:32:06,575
Can I get
A little kissy-kiss??
2089
01:32:06,741 --> 01:32:09,450
Can I get a little
Hoochie-coo??
2090
01:32:09,616 --> 01:32:11,825
I'm like a soldier
Marching in the sun?
2091
01:32:11,991 --> 01:32:14,950
My guns are pointed
Baby, straight at the moon?
2092
01:32:15,116 --> 01:32:20,658
And abstinence?
2093
01:32:20,824 --> 01:32:22,783
Don't do it?
2094
01:32:22,949 --> 01:32:25,533
Abstinence?
2095
01:32:25,699 --> 01:32:27,908
Don't do it, don't do it
Don't do it?
2096
01:32:28,074 --> 01:32:30,866
Well, early in the morning
When we're all alone?
2097
01:32:31,033 --> 01:32:34,033
Well, how could I ever
Be so dumb??
2098
01:32:35,074 --> 01:32:37,408
You're driving drunk
In your boyfriend car?
2099
01:32:37,574 --> 01:32:40,324
Let's throw the babysitter
Into the trunk?
2100
01:32:40,491 --> 01:32:46,033
And abstinence?
2101
01:32:46,199 --> 01:32:48,199
Don't do it?
2102
01:32:48,366 --> 01:32:51,033
Abstinence?
2103
01:32:51,199 --> 01:32:53,033
Don't do it, Don't do it
Don't do it?
2104
01:32:53,199 --> 01:32:56,699
When you're all alone
On your own?
2105
01:32:56,866 --> 01:33:00,908
No one ever holds you?
? Don't do it, don't do it?
2106
01:33:01,074 --> 01:33:04,699
I'll be at your door
On the horn?
2107
01:33:04,866 --> 01:33:08,949
Sending these thoughts to you?
2108
01:33:09,116 --> 01:33:10,908
Whoo!?
2109
01:33:11,908 --> 01:33:13,449
Ah!?
2110
01:33:15,491 --> 01:33:17,033
What: that??
2111
01:33:20,949 --> 01:33:22,491
? Coochie-coo?
2112
01:33:22,658 --> 01:33:24,324
WOMAN:
That': tough.
2113
01:33:25,658 --> 01:33:29,699
Abstinence?
2114
01:33:29,866 --> 01:33:31,866
Don't do it?
2115
01:33:32,033 --> 01:33:34,783
Abstinence?
2116
01:33:34,949 --> 01:33:36,991
Don't do it, Don't do it
Don't do it?
2117
01:33:37,158 --> 01:33:39,366
Don't do it, Don't do it
Don't do it?
2118
01:33:39,533 --> 01:33:41,783
Don't do it, Don't do it
Don't do it?
2119
01:33:41,949 --> 01:33:44,241
Don't do it, Don't do it
Don't do it?
2120
01:33:44,408 --> 01:33:46,574
Don't do it, Don't do it
Don't do it?
2121
01:33:46,741 --> 01:33:48,866
Don't do it, Don't do it
Don't do it?
2122
01:33:49,033 --> 01:33:50,866
Don't do it, don't do it?
2123
01:33:51,033 --> 01:33:53,199
Don't do it, Don't do it
Don't do it?
2124
01:33:54,199 --> 01:33:58,366
Abstinence?
2125
01:33:58,533 --> 01:34:00,449
Don't do it?
2126
01:34:00,616 --> 01:34:03,283
Abstinence?
2127
01:34:03,449 --> 01:34:05,449
Don't do it, Don't do it
Don't do it?
2128
01:34:05,616 --> 01:34:08,949
When you're all alone
On your own?
2129
01:34:09,116 --> 01:34:12,866
No one ever holds you?
? Don't do it, don't do it?
2130
01:34:13,033 --> 01:34:16,866
I'll be at your door
On the horn?
2131
01:34:17,033 --> 01:34:21,158
Sending these thoughts to you?
2132
01:34:21,324 --> 01:34:23,116
Oh?
2133
01:34:26,116 --> 01:34:30,116
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