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I grew up in Staten Island, New York.
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It might not sound like it, but I did.
3
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:38,098
Staten Island is like Brooklyn...
4
00:00:38,198 --> 00:00:40,541
...and New Jersey had a baby.
5
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,861
A baby that would grow up to be either...
6
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,961
...a cop or a fireman.
7
00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:49,771
And you know,
Staten Island...
8
00:00:49,871 --> 00:00:50,484
...gets a bad rap,
9
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,544
but, really,
it's just like...
10
00:00:52,644 --> 00:00:54,644
...any other suburb.
11
00:00:57,690 --> 00:01:00,410
I mean, sure,
it looks like this.
12
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,727
And this.
13
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:09,334
is that Staten Island also looks like this.
14
00:01:11,504 --> 00:01:13,504
And this.
15
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:50,511
And for me,
16
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:55,314
since I was old enough
to remember looked like this.
17
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:57,526
The Great Kills Swim Club.
18
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:07,002
This is where I spent every waking hour...
19
00:02:07,102 --> 00:02:08,162
...of my summers.
20
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,481
From 8:00 a.m. swim practice
until they threw us...
21
00:02:10,581 --> 00:02:11,098
...out at night,
22
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:13,234
this is where I found friendship.
23
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:16,636
This is where I tasted victory and defeat.
24
00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:18,837
Where I fell in love.
25
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,629
And it's where I had the best job...
26
00:02:20,729 --> 00:02:22,176
...in the history of the world.
27
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,045
I was a lifeguard.
28
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:27,418
Now, there are beach lifeguards who...
29
00:02:27,518 --> 00:02:29,183
...actually guard lives.
30
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:30,518
Wendell, I told you to get out.
31
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:31,652
And then there are pool guards...
32
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,220
... Make me.
33
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,621
...who basically do this.
34
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:36,723
The only reason I became a lifeguard...
35
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:37,491
...is because of this idiot.
36
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,086
My best friend in the whole world,
37
00:02:40,186 --> 00:02:41,195
Frank Gomes.
38
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,596
Frank said that girls couldn't resist...
39
00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:44,799
...a man in uniform...
40
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:46,300
...and that we'd be, quote...
41
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,568
... Don't drown.
42
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,402
'...knee-deep in snizz.'
43
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:52,008
But the only thing Frank
was knee-deep in...
44
00:02:52,108 --> 00:02:52,807
...was the baby pool.
45
00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:54,947
Hey, what you got there?
46
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:58,890
SPF 50? No wonder
you two look so young.
47
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,848
You know,
if we hooked up,
48
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,908
I'd have to turn myself in...
49
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:04,417
...for statutory rape.
50
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:07,121
Statutory rape's the not-bad rape.
51
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,823
Hey.
No leaving.
52
00:03:08,923 --> 00:03:11,591
but Staten Island girls
were never interested...
53
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:12,693
...in me and Frank.
54
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:15,375
They were always too busy fawning over...
55
00:03:15,475 --> 00:03:16,464
...this kind of guy.
56
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:17,774
You know, I'm pretty sure
you guys are just...
57
00:03:17,874 --> 00:03:18,299
...aiming too high.
58
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,667
That's Anthony De Bono.
59
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,836
It's really funny, though.
You should keep doing it.
60
00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:25,506
sculpted right out of
a suburban mom's sex fantasy.
61
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:29,541
Hello, beautiful ladies.
How's everybody doing?
62
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,395
Candace, I love the new suit.
63
00:03:31,495 --> 00:03:32,546
That's very cute.
64
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,582
Anthony was joining the Navy.
65
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,255
If he could pass the written exam,
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00:03:36,355 --> 00:03:37,251
which he could not.
67
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:40,385
Hope I don't get you too wet.
68
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,523
As far as I could tell,
being in the Navy was, like,
69
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,966
90% pushups and 10% saying...
70
00:03:45,066 --> 00:03:46,560
'God bless America'.
71
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,550
That's how they do it in the Navy.
72
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:51,596
God bless America.
73
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:53,601
That's Mary Ellen.
74
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,703
Stupid.
Ah. What the fuck?
75
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:57,613
Her dad was a cop,
and she was basically...
76
00:03:57,713 --> 00:03:58,305
...raised a dude.
77
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,720
Pee in my pool? Uh-uh.
Punks get dunked.
78
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:05,081
The guy rolling in an hour and a half...
79
00:04:05,181 --> 00:04:06,213
...late to work?
80
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,614
That was Billy Thomson.
81
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,656
Better known as Skootch.
82
00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,220
Skootch did this year round.
83
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:17,223
Summers at the swim club
and winters at the YMCA.
84
00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:20,226
He was a lifeguard.
That's all he was.
85
00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:22,451
He was Skootch.
- Skootch.
86
00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:24,632
We were a team.
87
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:28,217
United together against this one asshole.
88
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:36,275
Our manager, Chuck Casino.
89
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,683
Mr. Marcus, how are you?
90
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:45,920
They find your kid?
91
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,821
They will.
92
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,389
Mr. Stewart, my man.
93
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:54,216
Hey, here they go,
one, two, three musketeers.
94
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,532
Chuck thought he ran the place.
95
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,182
I am the captain of this ship.
96
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,635
This is my Amistad.
97
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,371
But no one runs summer.
98
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:09,574
It was paradise.
99
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,332
But hey, even Adam and Eve couldn't...
100
00:05:11,432 --> 00:05:12,479
...stay in heaven forever.
101
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:13,981
And right after Labor Day...
102
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,816
... You're leaving us?
103
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:18,452
Ma, I told you,
he's going to Harvard.
104
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:19,720
And Anthony's joining the Navy.
105
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,522
We're losing all the cute lifeguards.
106
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,391
Not all the cute lifeguards.
I'll still be around, ladies.
107
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,525
You smell like beef.
108
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,209
We're proud of you, Danny.
Oh, you're a good kid.
109
00:05:29,309 --> 00:05:29,897
Come here.
110
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,298
Come here.
111
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:32,833
Let me at him.
Let me at him.
112
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:33,834
Thanks, Mrs. Bandini.
Let me at him.
113
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,336
Mrs. Bandini Jr.
114
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:36,837
Oh. We're all huggy.
115
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,305
Ow.
116
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:39,907
Okay. See you guys.
117
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,909
Enjoy your game of slowly dying.
118
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,009
Bye.
Fuck off.
119
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,280
Danny, if you had half the game...
120
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,314
...with younger women...
121
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:48,949
... that you do with older women,
122
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,883
you'd be laying it down.
123
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,454
I talk to women our age.
124
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,954
I'm sorry?
Women our age?
125
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,646
I don't know any 'women our age'.
126
00:05:57,746 --> 00:05:58,892
I know a bunch of girls.
127
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,428
See, that vocabulary you have.
128
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,204
You're wearing a giant sign that says,
129
00:06:03,304 --> 00:06:03,831
'I'm a virgin.'
130
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,062
Technically,
I had half of my tip...
131
00:06:06,162 --> 00:06:07,635
...inside Megan O'Reilly...
132
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,371
... before her fucking cat
attacked me. Okay?
133
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,639
Do you understand
that you could get...
134
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:14,341
... any single girl in this entire place?
135
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,508
But you don't. Why?
136
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,253
Well, I'm sorry if I have higher...
137
00:06:18,353 --> 00:06:19,513
...standards than you.
138
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,585
Really? Do you want to have sex...
139
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:22,549
...on Christmas?
140
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,985
What are you, Hugh Grant?
You're just a guy.
141
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,954
You're just a...
- Campbell.
142
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,356
Some kid puked in the Lost and Found.
143
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:30,878
I want you to wash all the clothes...
144
00:06:30,978 --> 00:06:31,892
...and put them back in.
145
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,826
Translation,
'You're my bitch.'
146
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:37,192
And Gomes.
Get your ass back...
147
00:06:37,292 --> 00:06:38,698
...in the baby pool.
148
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:41,600
Now who's the bitch, bitch?
149
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:45,036
It's definitely not me.
Bye, Bane.
150
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,038
Bye, Batman.
151
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,905
Victor, what are you doing?
152
00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:54,815
Found this fucking frog.
153
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,070
Gonna shoot it out of this...
154
00:06:57,170 --> 00:06:58,818
...fucking leaf blower.
155
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,918
Jesus Christ.
156
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:04,408
No. No, no, no.
You guys, you cannot invite...
157
00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:05,726
...a mom to a staff party.
158
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,361
Skootch, first of all,
is the keeper of the keys.
159
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:08,495
So, what do you think, Skootch,
160
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,663
can Ms. Greeley come to the party?
161
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,065
Mmm.
162
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,732
I'll allow it.
Yes, he will.
163
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:14,935
And you know,
the best part is, dude,
164
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,737
she had a kid,
like, a year ago, man.
165
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:19,440
She's still fucking stacked.
Oh, it's incredible.
166
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,223
You're abysmal.
Would Danny ever say...
167
00:07:21,323 --> 00:07:22,109
...anything like that?
168
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:23,993
No, Danny would not say
something like that,
169
00:07:24,093 --> 00:07:24,812
because he's Irish.
170
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,906
Okay? They don't think
about sex till they're,
171
00:07:28,006 --> 00:07:28,482
like, 25.
172
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,951
Wow. That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard in my life.
173
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,654
It's a biology fact,
Mary Ellen. Okay?
174
00:07:32,754 --> 00:07:33,687
Read a fucking book.
175
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,957
Okay, look. First there's
Hispanic guys, obviously.
176
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,460
Then the black guys.
Then the Italians.
177
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,429
Then the French.
And then the Irish, all right?
178
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,565
And then probably, like,
the Asians eventually.
179
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,567
Oh, my God.
When you join the Navy,
180
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,509
their collective IQ is gonna drop,
181
00:07:48,609 --> 00:07:49,403
like, 25 points.
182
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,972
Like, you're going to sink our ships.
183
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:53,107
Hey, look.
If you're in love with me,
184
00:07:53,207 --> 00:07:54,441
just say you're in love with me.
185
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:55,809
Yeah.
You know.
186
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,544
Is that how you say it in sign language?
187
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,979
Is it that?
No, that's 'Fuck you.'
188
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,079
Oh. That's 'Fuck you.'
189
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:08,020
Hey, scram, kids.
Beat it. It's adult swim...
190
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,120
... in the bathroom.
191
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,859
I'm the king of the castle.
192
00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:39,017
Home sweet home.
193
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,229
My own executive bathroom.
194
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,259
Dude. Ow. Truce?
195
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,861
Sorry, man.
Truce.
196
00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:53,198
Wow.
197
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,600
You guys have
really matured this summer.
198
00:08:57,069 --> 00:08:59,300
Rachel and Rebecca Rabinowitz.
199
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:00,974
Half Asian, half Jewish.
200
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:03,577
They were identical,
but somehow everyone agreed,
201
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:04,945
Rachel was the hot one.
202
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,746
Oh. Rachel.
203
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,115
Rebecca.
204
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,615
How are you guys?
- Good.
205
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,285
So, hey. Are you guys
going to the staff party...
206
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:12,853
...on Saturday?
207
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,054
Ooh. Staff party.
208
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:15,856
Uh, Danny's not,
209
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:18,158
'cause he's going to Orlando
to get his vagina enlarged,
210
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:19,993
but I will be there.
211
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,053
Oh. That's cute they invite...
212
00:09:21,153 --> 00:09:22,062
...the baby pool lifeguards.
213
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,864
Oh, it's cute that you exist.
214
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,799
Why can't there just be
two of you, Rachel?
215
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,935
Why can't there be zero Franks?
216
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:32,105
I do everything here, okay?
I'm not a baby pool lifeguard.
217
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,094
I'm a lifeguard who happens to be...
218
00:09:34,194 --> 00:09:35,676
...at the baby pool right now.
219
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,879
Well, it's been great
hanging out with you guys.
220
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:39,847
See you later.
221
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,949
Bye, Danny.
Not bye, Frank.
222
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:46,018
Bye, Rachel. I love you.
Please die in a fire, Rebecca.
223
00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,888
Chuck, you in here?
224
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:49,189
Chuck. Chuck.
225
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,289
Yo. Chuck.
226
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,660
Not now, Victor.
Go away, buddy.
227
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,762
Yeah. Okay, yeah.
But you know,
228
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:58,732
there's a hornets' nest
by the handball court.
229
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,553
This thing is insane, man.
It's like...
230
00:10:00,653 --> 00:10:01,735
...a hornet Mexico City.
231
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:04,781
Talk to me about it in,
like, 20 minutes.
232
00:10:04,881 --> 00:10:05,538
Not now.
233
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,040
Just... Victor, just take care of the nest.
234
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:07,674
Get out of here.
235
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,810
God. Get your face out of here.
236
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,245
Chuck, all right,
I'm on it, man.
237
00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:13,980
Are you still there?
Yeah, I'm on it. Okay.
238
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,630
Thank you for the opportunity.
239
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:22,274
Am I the only one
that's normal around here?
240
00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:24,989
Look at that horse.
241
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,792
That one's brown as hell.
242
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,161
Oh, Danny.
243
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,182
Why can't you just man up for once...
244
00:10:32,282 --> 00:10:33,267
...in your life, okay?
245
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:34,835
This is the last
weekend of summer.
246
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,036
I am being a man.
247
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,841
The only reason why I'm going
is because it means...
248
00:10:38,941 --> 00:10:39,940
...a lot to my parents.
249
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,359
Okay, well,
the staff party...
250
00:10:41,459 --> 00:10:42,309
...is this Saturday.
251
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,983
And you know what?
Danny, it means...
252
00:10:45,083 --> 00:10:45,812
...a lot to me.
253
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:48,849
I have been laying track
with Rachel all summer.
254
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:52,818
And she's finally into me,
and I think I'm gonna S the D.
255
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:53,987
Suck the dick?
256
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:57,088
What? No.
Seal the deal.
257
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,249
Why don't you just say that?
Because it's...
258
00:10:58,349 --> 00:10:58,759
...a shorter way...
259
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,928
... It doesn't matter. Okay?
260
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,271
The staff party is the culmination...
261
00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:03,163
...of the entire summer.
262
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,865
It's basically summer prom.
263
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,034
And you know what happens
at prom, Danny?
264
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,334
Girls S the D.
265
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,038
Seal the deal.
Suck the dick.
266
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,573
Are you not listening?
267
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,575
It's like a milestone in their lives.
268
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:15,909
It's like the moon landing.
269
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,779
But instead of a pole
going into the ground,
270
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,514
it's our dicks going into them.
271
00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:23,317
Ow.
272
00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:25,051
God, man.
Whoa.
273
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,151
Harvard.
274
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:32,157
The party is officially on.
275
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,260
Whew.
276
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,095
Danny's favorite chicken.
277
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,863
Okay.
278
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:40,873
Not only do we have access
to all four parks...
279
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,770
... plus Typhoon Lagoon,
so bring your suit,
280
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,995
but... Drum roll, please.
281
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:52,077
We got Fastpasses.
282
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,914
Nice.
283
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,816
Remember when you
used to stand up...
284
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,684
... and recite the entire Jungle Cruise?
285
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,686
'Cause you had
the whole ride memorized.
286
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:03,739
and you, you'd put your arm
inside your shirt like...
287
00:12:03,839 --> 00:12:05,292
...the hippo bit it off.
288
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,392
Yeah.
289
00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:10,495
I was terrified one time.
290
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,766
I'm really excited.
It just kind of sucks...
291
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:16,379
...that I'm not gonna be here
for my last weekend...
292
00:12:16,479 --> 00:12:17,236
...with Frank.
293
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,370
Mmm.
294
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:22,107
Well, you know,
I mean, Frank...
295
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,574
... You two are gonna keep in touch.
296
00:12:23,674 --> 00:12:24,111
Mmm-hmm.
297
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,113
You're gonna make
new friends at Harvard.
298
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,379
You know. And who knows?
Maybe you're gonna...
299
00:12:28,479 --> 00:12:29,182
...meet a couple of...
300
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,282
... cute ladies.
Oh.
301
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,285
Maybe not her, but...
302
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,123
... It's just that you and Frank...
303
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:37,455
... Honey, you're just on different paths.
304
00:12:37,555 --> 00:12:37,858
You know?
305
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,083
And again, we love Frank.
306
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:42,266
Yeah, love him to death.
307
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:47,801
Hey.
308
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:52,271
Sorry that took so long.
I got distracted on my phone.
309
00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:53,974
I was playing a new game.
310
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:56,555
Oh, yeah?
What's that, Frank?
311
00:12:56,655 --> 00:12:56,810
Oh.
312
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,943
It's like Whac-A-Mole,
but with penises...
313
00:12:59,043 --> 00:12:59,880
...and glory holes.
314
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,882
And you just,
like, whack the penis...
315
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:04,718
...back into the glory hole,
so it doesn't...
316
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,353
...Doesn't, you know...
I understand.
317
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,156
How's the Disney planning going?
318
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:10,334
Oh, my God.
Dude, do you...
319
00:13:10,434 --> 00:13:11,425
...remember that one time...
320
00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:13,393
...where you did the entire Jungle Cruise...
321
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:14,761
...and everybody laughed at you...
322
00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,997
...because you looked
like a fucking moron?
323
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,954
All right, you,
I'm gonna go shut that door...
324
00:13:20,054 --> 00:13:21,434
...and open a window.
325
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:24,002
Maybe knock down a wall.
326
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:28,254
I just hear the cat kind of
screaming a little bit.
327
00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,806
Guys, you gotta check this out.
328
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:01,208
Look at all these beautiful women that...
329
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:04,244
... Danny's gonna be going to college with.
330
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,947
Oh, what is that?
Dog and Elephant Quarterly?
331
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,187
Why do you even have that?
332
00:14:08,287 --> 00:14:09,015
Because I found it.
333
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,952
Look at this girl.
She's a butter everything.
334
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,986
She'd be hot 'but her everything'.
335
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,923
Hey, Frank,
serious question.
336
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,493
Have you ever seen yourself,
like, in a mirror?
337
00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:21,394
Because actually,
on a Frank scale,
338
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,363
that girl's, like,
a hundred Franks.
339
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:26,399
And on the Mary Ellen scale,
she's about half a Mary Ellen.
340
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,502
That's a compliment,
what you've just said.
341
00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:30,771
Mine actually was not a compliment to you.
342
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,239
What's the brochure like
for your parents' basement?
343
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:33,907
This isn't about me.
344
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,942
This is about Danny
banging someone decent...
345
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,278
... before he goes off
to Monsters University.
346
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,786
What I don't understand is,
why you need...
347
00:14:40,886 --> 00:14:41,915
...a party to get laid.
348
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,932
Why don't you just go out and just...
349
00:14:44,032 --> 00:14:44,985
...bang something?
350
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,487
Yeah, you say that because
you hook up with moms.
351
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:49,489
Moms don't need a party to have sex.
352
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,423
They need a glass of shitty wine.
353
00:14:51,523 --> 00:14:53,359
Hey, Anthony.
354
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:55,028
Hi.
355
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:57,128
Happy noon.
356
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:02,218
Oh, man.
Ladies, I brought lunch.
357
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:05,315
Doctors say you don't
get the benefits of wine...
358
00:15:05,415 --> 00:15:06,173
...until the third glass.
359
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,841
No way.
360
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,576
I know. She's great,
isn't she?
361
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,676
No, no, not her.
362
00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:15,145
Her.
363
00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:20,796
I had been perfectly content to leave
364
00:15:20,858 --> 00:15:22,858
Staten Island forever.
365
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:27,146
But just when I thought I was out,
366
00:15:27,231 --> 00:15:29,231
it pulled me back in.
367
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,396
Krystal Manicucci.
368
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:37,958
She was the undisputed
Queen of Staten Island.
369
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:45,370
And she was the most beautiful woman
370
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:47,595
I'd ever seen in my life.
371
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,951
Don't do that.
You're giving me...
372
00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:27,153
...the heebie-jeebies.
373
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:30,356
When you stare like that,
you look like a serial killer.
374
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:32,376
Bro, you got to forget about Krystal.
375
00:16:32,476 --> 00:16:32,926
All right?
376
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:35,028
Why? So you can get with her?
377
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:37,565
No, even I'm not that stupid. All right?
378
00:16:37,665 --> 00:16:39,266
Her dad's Leo Manicucci.
379
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,368
Like on the side of
all those heating oil trucks?
380
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:43,103
So?
381
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:45,538
So, the dude's old school Mafia.
382
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,240
Okay. You guys know my buddy Tim?
383
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,142
Well, his friend Dave asked her...
384
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:50,610
... to the sophomore-junior
semiformal. All right?
385
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:54,281
Well, he found out,
went to the dude's house,
386
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,906
ripped out his mailbox
and fucking beat him...
387
00:16:56,006 --> 00:16:56,650
...half to death with it...
388
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,118
... in front of his whole family.
389
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,090
Oh, my God.
Are you serious?
390
00:17:00,190 --> 00:17:00,420
Yes.
391
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,688
That's the most ridiculous thing
392
00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:02,322
I've ever heard.
393
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,052
Shut up.
Then don't believe me.
394
00:17:04,152 --> 00:17:04,591
All right?
395
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,921
Oh, I won't.
It's your fucking funeral.
396
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:25,006
Man, that thing is messed up.
397
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:28,714
There's probably, like,
a thousand hornets in there.
398
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:31,649
Now go spray it.
No way. You go.
399
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,286
All right, fine.
But don't move.
400
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,699
Okay, that's not going to work.
401
00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:47,221
I think we need to take this to...
402
00:17:47,321 --> 00:17:47,968
...the next level.
403
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,068
Yeah, damn right we do.
404
00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:55,475
Yo.
405
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,710
Hairy Melon.
406
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,378
Wassup? Uh, question.
407
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,347
If I got to transport,
like, 144 passengers...
408
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:04,148
... and I have,
like, a 36-seat van,
409
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,785
how many trips is that gonna take?
410
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:06,652
Probably, like 11.
411
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,220
I think it's more like four.
412
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:11,257
Yeah. No, no, like,
those weren't the numbers,
413
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,201
I was using a couple of different...
414
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:14,728
...groups of numbers. So...
415
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:16,696
...If you want,
I could help you study.
416
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:19,197
Like, I used to do SAT prep.
417
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,001
Yeah, okay. Well,
SATs are for pussies.
418
00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:23,160
I got my own system.
It's gonna be fine.
419
00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:24,738
And I do not need your help.
420
00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:28,408
So don't you worry
your pretty little head.
421
00:18:28,507 --> 00:18:30,507
Yo. Bullshit.
422
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,079
There's no color called indigo.
423
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:35,049
Yeah, there is.
It's in the rainbow.
424
00:18:35,149 --> 00:18:36,449
You know, Roy G. Biv?
425
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:39,052
A guy named Roy G. Biv
invented the rainbow?
426
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:40,653
How do you invent the rainbow?
427
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,755
I think it's like,
if you're really gay...
428
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,855
...and it rains...
429
00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:50,397
... Coming from the sky.
430
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:53,197
It's wine-ado.
431
00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:54,567
Anthony.
Hi, Ms. Greeley.
432
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,469
Hi, Anthony.
433
00:18:56,569 --> 00:19:00,238
I was wondering if you could assist me.
434
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,143
It would be my pleasure.
Let me see that.
435
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,412
Ms. Greeley, I am worried...
436
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,362
... maybe you've had,
like, a little too much...
437
00:19:07,462 --> 00:19:08,114
...to drink forever.
438
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:09,749
We're breaking a lot of rules.
439
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:13,119
We have lifeguards drinking.
There's glass by the pool.
440
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:14,426
Oh, my God.
What are you,
441
00:19:14,526 --> 00:19:15,255
the wine police?
442
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:16,496
Yeah.
What are you going...
443
00:19:16,596 --> 00:19:17,357
...to do, arrest me?
444
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:18,658
Boo.
Aah.
445
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,758
Anthony.
446
00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:23,749
Would you say you have a big dick?
447
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:25,397
Hmm?
448
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,497
Wow.
449
00:19:33,705 --> 00:19:35,408
Well, well, well.
450
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,653
My old buddy, Skootch.
What's up, pal?
451
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:41,379
Working on the CPR dummy?
452
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,516
It's not perfect form
and the stomach's on fire, but...
453
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:46,685
... just watch out for that.
454
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:50,015
So, you got any
big plans this weekend?
455
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:52,325
No?
456
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:53,787
That's funny,
because last weekend...
457
00:19:53,887 --> 00:19:54,294
...of summer,
458
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,562
I remember when we were lifeguards,
459
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,697
before I was promoted
to manager over you,
460
00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:01,234
we used to always
have a staff party.
461
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:02,569
I was, of course,
never invited,
462
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:05,984
but also chose independently not to go.
463
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:09,307
So, no party this year, though?
464
00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:11,641
I hope not.
465
00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:15,813
If you are having a party
and I catch you,
466
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,299
I will finally have the excuse I need...
467
00:20:18,399 --> 00:20:19,718
...to fire your fat ass.
468
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:22,793
And I'll be locking up from now on.
469
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,700
See these guys?
These are Chuck's now.
470
00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:32,803
I find out you're having a party...
471
00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:48,907
... Danny, you're scaring the children.
472
00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:50,510
She's perfect.
473
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:52,779
Oh, my God. She was saying
the same thing about you,
474
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:54,461
in your dreams,
when you were...
475
00:21:54,561 --> 00:21:55,415
...jerking off to her.
476
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:59,750
Remember? You made
a little mess on your tum-tum?
477
00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:03,577
I should explain.
Krystal and I had a history.
478
00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:07,660
She used to babysit me
when I was in third grade.
479
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,480
You were amazing tonight, Danny.
480
00:22:10,696 --> 00:22:12,696
So well-behaved.
481
00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:18,105
After she left,
I did what any...
482
00:22:18,205 --> 00:22:20,330
...third grader would do.
483
00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:28,279
I pretended my stuffed lion was
484
00:22:28,328 --> 00:22:30,328
Krystal Manicucci.
485
00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,417
And I stroked its cheek.
486
00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:37,054
And I kissed it oh so tenderly.
487
00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:42,858
Over the years,
our relationship matured.
488
00:22:43,061 --> 00:22:45,061
More grape juice?
489
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:51,736
I'm really starting to feel it.
490
00:22:54,139 --> 00:22:57,029
And eventually things intensified.
491
00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:08,952
It was true love.
492
00:23:41,553 --> 00:23:43,553
Look at them.
493
00:23:43,789 --> 00:23:46,957
They're like tiny,
sexy Jeremy Lins,
494
00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:49,062
bouncing that ass like a basketball.
495
00:23:49,162 --> 00:23:50,917
Right, let's do this.
I get Rachel and...
496
00:23:51,017 --> 00:23:51,864
...you get Rebecca.
497
00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:53,032
Why do I get Rebecca?
498
00:23:53,132 --> 00:23:54,534
Who cares? They're twins.
499
00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:55,535
All right,
you take Rebecca.
500
00:23:55,635 --> 00:23:57,635
Rebecca's disgusting.
501
00:23:57,702 --> 00:23:59,702
Hey, Rachel.
502
00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:01,407
Gremlin.
503
00:24:01,507 --> 00:24:03,443
We were just admiring
your dope-ass skills.
504
00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:04,977
Maybe we could play some doubles.
505
00:24:05,077 --> 00:24:06,020
'Doubles?' Have you ever...
506
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:07,080
...played basketball, Frank?
507
00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:10,717
Yeah, I've played
basketball, Rebecca. Okay?
508
00:24:10,817 --> 00:24:13,042
and Rebecca will pair up with that...
509
00:24:13,142 --> 00:24:14,587
...overflowing trash can.
510
00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:15,955
It's a little more your speed.
511
00:24:16,055 --> 00:24:17,890
Well, I would take the trash can over you,
512
00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:20,540
based on look and smell.
Great.
513
00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:23,194
Oh, what you got?
514
00:24:23,196 --> 00:24:25,863
Oh, fuck.
It's an actual biker.
515
00:24:25,865 --> 00:24:27,776
That guys looks like
he has a tattoo of Satan...
516
00:24:27,876 --> 00:24:28,701
...on his 12-inch dick.
517
00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:31,426
I catch her with that asshole,
518
00:24:31,526 --> 00:24:33,526
I'll kill them both.
519
00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:38,710
What the fuck?
520
00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:40,046
Holy shit.
521
00:24:40,146 --> 00:24:41,481
Son of a bitch.
522
00:24:41,581 --> 00:24:43,015
Danny.
Run, run, run.
523
00:24:43,115 --> 00:24:44,720
Hey, kid.
Did you just hit me...
524
00:24:44,820 --> 00:24:46,018
...with that basketball?
525
00:24:46,118 --> 00:24:47,787
I swear, it was an accident.
I promise.
526
00:24:47,887 --> 00:24:49,989
Accident, my ass.
The basket's over there.
527
00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:51,557
I'm sorry.
You're sorry?
528
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:52,792
What's your name?
Danny Campbell.
529
00:24:52,892 --> 00:24:54,727
53 Highland Lane.
530
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:56,952
In the future, you be a little more careful.
531
00:24:57,052 --> 00:24:57,497
All right?
532
00:24:57,597 --> 00:25:00,572
And your fat little friend's a rat.
533
00:25:06,104 --> 00:25:08,649
You know, a rat is actually
one of the smartest...
534
00:25:08,749 --> 00:25:09,776
...creatures on earth.
535
00:25:09,876 --> 00:25:11,778
So I'm pretty sure
he was paying me a compliment.
536
00:25:11,878 --> 00:25:13,880
Yeah? And what about
when he called you fat?
537
00:25:13,980 --> 00:25:15,648
Uh, I'm pretty sure he called me 'flat',
538
00:25:15,748 --> 00:25:16,916
as in flat-chested,
which I am.
539
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:19,016
Hey, Danny.
540
00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:22,018
Oh, shit.
541
00:25:23,288 --> 00:25:25,753
You are Danny Campbell,
right?
542
00:25:25,857 --> 00:25:27,627
Dr. Campbell's son?
543
00:25:27,727 --> 00:25:29,727
I'm Krystal.
544
00:25:29,895 --> 00:25:31,895
Manicucci.
545
00:25:32,030 --> 00:25:34,030
I used to babysit you.
546
00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:35,768
Oh, yeah.
547
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:37,937
Yeah, right.
Sorry. Of course. Krystal.
548
00:25:38,037 --> 00:25:39,839
Yeah, I think I remember you.
549
00:25:39,939 --> 00:25:42,941
I've had a lot of babysitters, but yeah.
550
00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:45,336
I'm Frank Gomes. I'm, uh...
551
00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:49,848
... Fresh pepper?
552
00:25:49,948 --> 00:25:51,948
Fresh pepper?
553
00:25:52,717 --> 00:25:55,267
You two enjoy...
Have a good...
554
00:25:55,587 --> 00:25:58,307
...Enjoy the meal that you have.
555
00:25:59,291 --> 00:26:00,713
Uh...
Yeah, I don't...
556
00:26:00,813 --> 00:26:02,813
...really know him.
557
00:26:03,296 --> 00:26:05,797
So, were you leaving right now?
558
00:26:05,897 --> 00:26:07,897
I could be.
559
00:26:08,333 --> 00:26:10,333
Or I could stay.
560
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:14,551
I don't really...
I'm flexible, I guess.
561
00:26:14,706 --> 00:26:16,676
Well, if you were leaving right now,
562
00:26:16,776 --> 00:26:20,601
I was going to ask
if I could get a ride home.
563
00:26:20,779 --> 00:26:22,782
My dad was supposed to take me,
564
00:26:22,882 --> 00:26:25,083
but he had to take care of something.
565
00:26:25,183 --> 00:26:27,251
Oh. Yeah. For sure.
566
00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:29,956
I totally could give you a ride home.
567
00:26:30,056 --> 00:26:32,056
Um, definitely.
568
00:26:32,857 --> 00:26:34,857
Okay.
569
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:55,725
So, you're going to Harvard.
570
00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:57,987
Yep, going up to Boston.
571
00:27:02,187 --> 00:27:04,355
Killer wheels,
by the way.
572
00:27:04,357 --> 00:27:07,247
Yeah, it goes zero to 60 in never.
573
00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:17,870
This is you?
574
00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:19,005
Yeah, this is me.
575
00:27:19,105 --> 00:27:21,105
Hold on.
576
00:27:27,245 --> 00:27:30,220
Wow, you have a really great house.
577
00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:32,649
Are you kidding me?
578
00:27:32,951 --> 00:27:35,019
It's horrible.
579
00:27:35,021 --> 00:27:36,673
My mom decided she was going to...
580
00:27:36,773 --> 00:27:37,623
...start redecorating.
581
00:27:37,723 --> 00:27:39,957
Everything is marble.
582
00:27:39,959 --> 00:27:41,054
Oh, yeah.
And there's a painting...
583
00:27:41,154 --> 00:27:42,161
...of Frank Sinatra on the cross...
584
00:27:42,261 --> 00:27:43,763
...like he's Jesus.
585
00:27:43,863 --> 00:27:46,753
That's a really complicated image.
586
00:27:47,867 --> 00:27:50,736
Yeah, well, I'm saving up
so I can move out.
587
00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:53,572
And my dad is like,
a legit psychopath.
588
00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:55,672
Really?
Yeah.
589
00:27:57,676 --> 00:27:58,276
Well, thank you.
For the ride.
590
00:27:58,376 --> 00:27:59,845
Yeah.
591
00:27:59,945 --> 00:28:03,005
It was slightly faster than walking.
592
00:28:03,214 --> 00:28:06,152
That's the name of my rickshaw company.
593
00:28:06,252 --> 00:28:08,887
'Slightly Faster Than Walking.'
594
00:28:08,888 --> 00:28:11,598
Oh, hey, maybe I'll see you at the pool...
595
00:28:11,698 --> 00:28:12,658
...this weekend.
596
00:28:12,758 --> 00:28:14,594
You know, if you're around.
597
00:28:14,694 --> 00:28:17,414
Uh, yeah. Totally.
I'll be there.
598
00:28:18,430 --> 00:28:20,430
Not going anywhere.
599
00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:34,461
And that's why it's called...
600
00:28:34,561 --> 00:28:35,348
'The No Spin Zone'.
601
00:28:35,448 --> 00:28:37,083
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
602
00:28:37,183 --> 00:28:39,056
He doesn't put up with it.
603
00:28:39,156 --> 00:28:40,018
Mmm-mmm.
604
00:28:40,118 --> 00:28:42,186
So, are you all packed?
605
00:28:42,188 --> 00:28:44,190
Like, the car's getting full.
606
00:28:44,290 --> 00:28:45,903
Hey, you know who I actually saw...
607
00:28:46,003 --> 00:28:46,626
...earlier today?
608
00:28:46,726 --> 00:28:47,927
Krystal Manicucci.
609
00:28:48,027 --> 00:28:49,829
Remember, she used
to babysit me?
610
00:28:49,929 --> 00:28:52,665
Oh, God. How could we forget?
That girl was crazy.
611
00:28:52,765 --> 00:28:54,834
Thirteen years old
and she already had a tattoo.
612
00:28:54,934 --> 00:28:57,036
How do you decide
on a tattoo when you're 13?
613
00:28:57,136 --> 00:28:59,487
I mean, if I got a tattoo when I was 13,
614
00:28:59,587 --> 00:29:00,239
it would be...
615
00:29:00,339 --> 00:29:02,793
...a tramp stamp of Popeye right next...
616
00:29:02,893 --> 00:29:04,176
...to a Chinese symbol...
617
00:29:04,276 --> 00:29:06,977
...for Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.
618
00:29:06,979 --> 00:29:10,383
Remember the time
she arrived with some guy...
619
00:29:10,483 --> 00:29:13,819
...He's older,
and he was stoned on heroin.
620
00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:15,354
Or smack.
Was it smack?
621
00:29:15,454 --> 00:29:17,023
That's the street name for it, yeah.
622
00:29:17,123 --> 00:29:20,863
And they both came
riding up on a motorcycle.
623
00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:24,298
What's so bad about a motorcycle?
624
00:29:24,996 --> 00:29:26,832
You want to ride a motorcycle?
625
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:28,962
Do you know how many of my patients...
626
00:29:29,062 --> 00:29:30,036
...have broken bones...
627
00:29:30,136 --> 00:29:31,704
... from motorcycle accidents?
628
00:29:31,804 --> 00:29:35,140
How many of them
are in wheelchairs right now?
629
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:36,875
I don't know. How many?
630
00:29:36,975 --> 00:29:38,975
Several.
631
00:29:39,477 --> 00:29:41,347
Very many.
Mmm-hmm.
632
00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:45,117
Well, if Krystal was so crazy,
why'd you let her babysit me?
633
00:29:45,217 --> 00:29:47,386
Because her father's a psychopath.
634
00:29:47,486 --> 00:29:49,486
You know that they're
635
00:29:50,256 --> 00:29:52,992
We were afraid if we
didn't hire his daughter,
636
00:29:53,092 --> 00:29:54,427
we were gonna wind up
buried in a landfill...
637
00:29:54,527 --> 00:29:56,162
...next to Dustin Hoffman.
638
00:29:56,262 --> 00:29:58,262
Well, Jimmy Hoffa.
639
00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:01,232
Well, then who's the baseball player?
640
00:30:01,332 --> 00:30:03,332
I don't think...
641
00:30:04,269 --> 00:30:06,269
... anyone.
642
00:30:07,205 --> 00:30:09,205
Anyways, um,
643
00:30:09,574 --> 00:30:12,177
Krystal actually invited me
to a party this weekend.
644
00:30:12,277 --> 00:30:14,113
In Orlando?
645
00:30:14,213 --> 00:30:17,782
Because you're in Disney
with us this weekend, right?
646
00:30:17,882 --> 00:30:19,952
Look, I'm not saying I'm going.
647
00:30:20,052 --> 00:30:22,602
I'm just saying I was invited.
648
00:30:25,523 --> 00:30:27,523
Well...
649
00:30:29,594 --> 00:30:33,504
... Maybe you can ride there
on a motorcycle.
650
00:30:53,184 --> 00:30:56,032
Hey, maybe I'll see you at the pool...
651
00:30:56,132 --> 00:30:57,489
...this weekend.
652
00:30:57,589 --> 00:31:00,591
Yes. Bump. Yes.
653
00:31:00,593 --> 00:31:03,295
Danny, I'm so happy you are staying.
654
00:31:03,395 --> 00:31:07,531
This is going to be
the best last weekend ever.
655
00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:10,136
No one can touch us.
We're never gonna die.
656
00:31:10,236 --> 00:31:11,470
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on, hold on, hold on,
657
00:31:11,570 --> 00:31:12,838
for, like, two seconds here.
658
00:31:12,938 --> 00:31:14,006
Danny.
659
00:31:14,106 --> 00:31:16,509
Krystal Manicucci brought you back...
660
00:31:16,609 --> 00:31:19,445
...to her house and you didn't bang that?
661
00:31:19,545 --> 00:31:21,514
This is the shit I'm talking about.
662
00:31:21,614 --> 00:31:23,881
Fucking Irish guys, man.
663
00:31:23,883 --> 00:31:25,885
Okay.
Can we focus on the party?
664
00:31:25,985 --> 00:31:27,380
Or, like, anything that will keep...
665
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:28,254
...you from talking?
666
00:31:28,354 --> 00:31:29,789
Anything. Truly.
667
00:31:29,889 --> 00:31:31,857
Okay, counterpoint.
Chuck said that...
668
00:31:31,957 --> 00:31:33,892
... he would fire us if we threw a party.
669
00:31:33,992 --> 00:31:36,326
Also, Chuck took my keys.
670
00:31:36,328 --> 00:31:39,165
Also, one of his balls
popped out of his Speedo,
671
00:31:39,265 --> 00:31:40,392
and he tried to tuck it back in...
672
00:31:40,492 --> 00:31:41,367
...like nothing happened.
673
00:31:41,467 --> 00:31:43,335
Bullshit.
- Not bullshit.
674
00:31:43,435 --> 00:31:45,471
I saw the freaking thing.
It looked like a peach pit.
675
00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:47,373
I'm not doubting that, Skootch.
676
00:31:47,473 --> 00:31:50,543
Bullshit about getting fired.
We are having a party.
677
00:31:50,643 --> 00:31:52,278
Oh, got it.
678
00:31:52,378 --> 00:31:54,013
I'm in.
Yeah, I'm totally in.
679
00:31:54,113 --> 00:31:57,015
Okay, well, yeah,
I'm obviously in, too. So...
680
00:31:57,115 --> 00:31:59,115
... Mary Ellen?
681
00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:03,155
Could one of the lifeguards
report to the pool deck,
682
00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:05,391
where you're paid to be lifeguards?
683
00:32:05,491 --> 00:32:09,116
TTYO, guys. Thanks a lot.
Hope the summer's...
684
00:32:09,216 --> 00:32:10,295
...kicking butt.
685
00:32:10,395 --> 00:32:12,435
Well, you heard the man.
686
00:32:14,565 --> 00:32:16,565
Let's get to work.
Yeah.
687
00:32:18,102 --> 00:32:20,102
Whoo.
688
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:22,272
Oh, God.
689
00:32:23,541 --> 00:32:24,730
All right.
Now, the first thing...
690
00:32:24,830 --> 00:32:25,844
...that we need is alcohol.
691
00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:28,045
Lots of it.
692
00:32:28,047 --> 00:32:30,069
I would buy it,
but I make, like,
693
00:32:30,169 --> 00:32:30,950
$300 a year.
694
00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:33,452
And I spend,
like, $400 on weed, so...
695
00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:34,587
... I got this.
All right?
696
00:32:34,687 --> 00:32:36,288
Everybody just owe me 50 bucks.
697
00:32:36,388 --> 00:32:38,123
I'll pick up everything we need.
698
00:32:38,223 --> 00:32:39,959
No, I'm not giving you 50 bucks.
699
00:32:40,059 --> 00:32:41,460
Where are you getting alcohol?
700
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,530
Relax. I can get us a deal.
I know a guy.
701
00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:47,533
You know a guy? Who are you,
fucking Pablo Escobar?
702
00:32:47,633 --> 00:32:48,477
No run...
Or do.
703
00:32:48,577 --> 00:32:49,235
I don't care.
704
00:32:49,335 --> 00:32:50,636
People are gonna be hungry, too,
705
00:32:50,736 --> 00:32:52,204
so we should definitely get snacks.
706
00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:55,274
Snacks, huh? Hey, Frank,
how's that diet going, huh?
707
00:32:55,374 --> 00:32:57,134
Diet's going great.
I ate kale out of your...
708
00:32:57,234 --> 00:32:58,310
...mom's pussy last night.
709
00:32:58,410 --> 00:33:00,045
Guys, we're a team. Right?
710
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:02,147
Frank and I will handle
the snacks and mixers.
711
00:33:02,247 --> 00:33:02,712
Go.
Yeah, right,
712
00:33:02,812 --> 00:33:03,649
whatever. Just make sure...
713
00:33:03,749 --> 00:33:06,451
...you get a little prosciut'
and some mozzarel'.
714
00:33:06,551 --> 00:33:08,354
Wait. A little what?
715
00:33:08,454 --> 00:33:12,491
I'm so sorry, did you mean
prosciutto and mozzarella?
716
00:33:12,591 --> 00:33:14,627
I say it the authentic
Italian way, okay?
717
00:33:14,727 --> 00:33:17,197
Oh, okay. So when you go
to a Mexican restaurant,
718
00:33:17,297 --> 00:33:17,963
do you ask for...
719
00:33:18,063 --> 00:33:20,499
...'Give me a burrit' and a little guacamol'.'
720
00:33:20,599 --> 00:33:22,034
No, you don't do that.
You're an idiot.
721
00:33:22,134 --> 00:33:24,503
You have no respect for my culture.
722
00:33:24,603 --> 00:33:26,805
More importantly,
how are we supposed to...
723
00:33:26,905 --> 00:33:27,972
...get in without a key?
724
00:33:28,072 --> 00:33:30,072
I'll tell you how.
725
00:33:32,210 --> 00:33:35,479
What? We're not
sharing a secret. Go.
726
00:33:35,481 --> 00:33:39,539
Because Chuck wears a Speedo,
he always leaves his keys...
727
00:33:39,639 --> 00:33:40,451
...in the office.
728
00:33:40,551 --> 00:33:42,551
But...
729
00:33:43,321 --> 00:33:44,916
...he doesn't get out of the office...
730
00:33:45,016 --> 00:33:46,258
...for more than 20 minutes.
731
00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:48,764
Which is how long it takes
to make a full sweep...
732
00:33:48,864 --> 00:33:49,661
...of the premises.
733
00:33:49,761 --> 00:33:52,496
Except for one time.
734
00:33:52,498 --> 00:33:56,366
Every day,
at exactly 3:25 p.m......
735
00:33:57,668 --> 00:34:00,771
...Toilet,
I apologize in advance.
736
00:34:00,773 --> 00:34:03,529
...when Chuck moves his perfectly...
737
00:34:03,629 --> 00:34:05,629
...regulated bowels.
738
00:34:06,644 --> 00:34:09,148
When Chuck goes to the bathroom,
739
00:34:09,248 --> 00:34:11,628
Chuck stays in the bathroom.
740
00:34:12,517 --> 00:34:15,067
And we make a copy of the key.
741
00:34:18,256 --> 00:34:19,591
Wow.
742
00:34:19,691 --> 00:34:21,226
That thing is awesome.
743
00:34:21,326 --> 00:34:23,326
Home Depot.
744
00:34:23,494 --> 00:34:26,809
Let's take this honey for a test drive.
745
00:34:30,535 --> 00:34:32,437
What's that, hornets? Huh?
746
00:34:32,537 --> 00:34:33,706
What did you say?
747
00:34:33,806 --> 00:34:35,174
Oh...
748
00:34:35,274 --> 00:34:37,709
...Yeah.
You know what that means?
749
00:34:37,809 --> 00:34:40,577
Wrong answer, bitch. Die. Die.
750
00:34:41,279 --> 00:34:43,047
Die.
751
00:34:43,147 --> 00:34:45,147
Die, all of you.
752
00:34:46,551 --> 00:34:48,320
I think the flame should be bigger.
753
00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:51,820
Yeah, I was going to say the same thing.
754
00:34:54,325 --> 00:34:56,495
Oh, and you should get
some condoms, too.
755
00:34:56,595 --> 00:34:58,030
You should get condoms.
756
00:34:58,130 --> 00:35:00,032
I already have condoms.
I always have condoms.
757
00:35:00,132 --> 00:35:02,399
Why? You've never had sex.
758
00:35:02,401 --> 00:35:04,570
Having 12% of your dick
inside Megan O'Reilly...
759
00:35:04,670 --> 00:35:06,270
... is suddenly not having sex?
760
00:35:06,370 --> 00:35:08,073
I've had sex.
761
00:35:08,173 --> 00:35:10,341
Just get condoms.
What, are you embarrassed?
762
00:35:10,441 --> 00:35:12,745
Okay, one box of the blue condoms.
763
00:35:12,845 --> 00:35:14,480
One box?
That's all you're getting?
764
00:35:14,580 --> 00:35:16,048
Yeah, one box. Why?
765
00:35:16,148 --> 00:35:19,118
Stuff happens, man.
They rip, they break.
766
00:35:19,218 --> 00:35:20,719
Sometimes you lose your boner.
767
00:35:20,819 --> 00:35:25,189
and the friction makes it hot
and you have to tear 'em off.
768
00:35:25,289 --> 00:35:26,358
Just get three boxes.
769
00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,458
Okay, three boxes.
770
00:35:28,693 --> 00:35:30,062
You're only getting the blue ones?
771
00:35:30,162 --> 00:35:31,597
Yes. Why? You get Magnums?
772
00:35:31,697 --> 00:35:34,099
No, but she thinks I use them.
773
00:35:34,199 --> 00:35:36,101
What the fuck are you talking about?
774
00:35:36,201 --> 00:35:38,704
Okay. I buy Magnums
and I buy regular ones.
775
00:35:38,804 --> 00:35:40,572
I open up the Magnum package,
776
00:35:40,672 --> 00:35:43,641
take out the condom,
put in a regular size condom...
777
00:35:43,741 --> 00:35:45,576
... and reseal it.
778
00:35:45,676 --> 00:35:47,245
Are you psychotic?
779
00:35:47,345 --> 00:35:50,313
No. I'm a genius, Danny.
780
00:35:50,315 --> 00:35:53,837
I have a very average dick.
I'm rolling six deep, maybe.
781
00:35:53,937 --> 00:35:54,620
It's not big.
782
00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:56,555
But the second that girl
sees a golden ticket,
783
00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:59,358
she's gonna be like, 'Whoa,
this guy has a baseball bat.'
784
00:35:59,458 --> 00:36:01,093
And it doesn't even matter,
785
00:36:01,193 --> 00:36:02,227
because everything feels
the same in the dark.
786
00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:03,662
So three boxes of Magnums, please.
787
00:36:03,762 --> 00:36:05,762
No, I don't want those.
788
00:36:16,375 --> 00:36:19,265
Oh, please,
don't let me interrupt.
789
00:36:25,316 --> 00:36:27,526
You guys have fun tonight.
790
00:36:28,819 --> 00:36:30,689
Cool.
You're such an asshole.
791
00:36:30,789 --> 00:36:32,789
Can we also get this?
792
00:36:33,658 --> 00:36:35,269
That's the thing.
Leo Manicucci...
793
00:36:35,369 --> 00:36:36,161
...isn't some, like,
794
00:36:36,261 --> 00:36:38,297
crazy, messed-up mass murderer.
795
00:36:38,397 --> 00:36:40,699
It will be in and out,
execution style.
796
00:36:40,799 --> 00:36:42,295
Probably in front of your family,
797
00:36:42,395 --> 00:36:43,302
which is fucked up,
798
00:36:43,402 --> 00:36:44,737
but, you know, he has to do it, he has...
799
00:36:44,837 --> 00:36:45,504
...to send a message.
800
00:36:45,604 --> 00:36:48,173
Don't sleep with his daughter,
or talk to her,
801
00:36:48,273 --> 00:36:50,476
or ever, you know,
have anything to do with her.
802
00:36:50,576 --> 00:36:52,578
And to be honest,
not a lot of people...
803
00:36:52,678 --> 00:36:55,848
...get to meet the person
who eventually kills them.
804
00:36:55,948 --> 00:36:57,752
That's a unique experience, Danny.
805
00:36:57,852 --> 00:36:59,351
You should take that to heart.
806
00:36:59,451 --> 00:37:01,153
You look like an idiot right now.
807
00:37:01,253 --> 00:37:02,888
No, I don't.
I look like a genius,
808
00:37:02,988 --> 00:37:06,258
because we're going to
have watermelon vodka.
809
00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:08,560
And that's a thing that
only rich people have.
810
00:37:08,660 --> 00:37:10,496
You cut a hole in the top
of the watermelon,
811
00:37:10,596 --> 00:37:12,264
you put vodka in it,
and then you have...
812
00:37:12,364 --> 00:37:14,364
... Shit.
813
00:37:15,433 --> 00:37:17,236
You dropped your watermelon.
814
00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:18,870
Yep, we'll leave it.
We don't need it.
815
00:37:18,970 --> 00:37:20,970
For the homies.
816
00:37:30,781 --> 00:37:32,781
Well, hello, gorgeous.
817
00:37:32,850 --> 00:37:34,253
Oh, shit.
818
00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:36,353
'Oh, shit' is right.
819
00:37:37,588 --> 00:37:40,491
A beautiful woman
on a beautiful day.
820
00:37:40,591 --> 00:37:42,394
Hey, look out up there.
821
00:37:42,494 --> 00:37:44,699
You almost hit me with this angel,
822
00:37:44,799 --> 00:37:45,363
you idiot.
823
00:37:45,463 --> 00:37:47,265
Mmm.
824
00:37:47,365 --> 00:37:49,366
I'll fucking kill you.
825
00:37:50,768 --> 00:37:52,504
Got any weekend plans?
826
00:37:52,604 --> 00:37:56,539
You know what?
I just don't date...
827
00:37:57,608 --> 00:37:58,710
... you.
828
00:37:58,810 --> 00:38:01,380
Well, if and when
you do change your mind,
829
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,215
I know this topless-optional
830
00:38:03,315 --> 00:38:04,249
Ethiopian joint.
831
00:38:04,349 --> 00:38:06,750
Let me know.
832
00:38:06,752 --> 00:38:08,983
In the meantime,
I'll be at the snack bar,
833
00:38:09,083 --> 00:38:09,754
as per ushe.
834
00:38:09,854 --> 00:38:11,854
Come on by, say hi.
835
00:38:12,657 --> 00:38:14,425
Very good.
836
00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:15,527
Go around.
837
00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:17,627
And keep going.
838
00:38:47,458 --> 00:38:49,458
Do it.
839
00:39:02,106 --> 00:39:04,106
Well, well, well.
840
00:39:04,542 --> 00:39:08,111
What is new in the world of horses?
841
00:39:08,113 --> 00:39:10,675
Catch me up.
I did not know that...
842
00:39:10,775 --> 00:39:12,775
...about horses. Okay.
843
00:39:12,783 --> 00:39:14,386
Hey. What the...
844
00:39:14,486 --> 00:39:16,754
... What are you doing? No.
845
00:39:16,854 --> 00:39:18,854
Get back here.
846
00:39:18,856 --> 00:39:19,891
Damn it.
847
00:39:19,991 --> 00:39:21,526
Loser.
848
00:39:21,626 --> 00:39:22,979
Ooh.
Somebody help me.
849
00:39:23,079 --> 00:39:23,996
I'm a naked man.
850
00:39:24,096 --> 00:39:27,666
I mean, 'Somebody help me.'
Only that part.
851
00:39:29,633 --> 00:39:30,836
Hey, cover me.
852
00:39:30,936 --> 00:39:32,936
I won't let you down.
853
00:39:38,843 --> 00:39:40,843
Ha-ha.
854
00:39:47,818 --> 00:39:49,818
We're clear.
855
00:39:56,460 --> 00:39:57,896
Yo, Campbell.
856
00:39:57,996 --> 00:40:00,365
We got a special delivery.
All right. I need your help.
857
00:40:00,465 --> 00:40:02,501
Frank, I need you to cover me
in the big pool. Is that cool?
858
00:40:02,601 --> 00:40:04,601
The big pool?
Yeah.
859
00:40:05,002 --> 00:40:05,771
Or I could just have Danny do it.
860
00:40:05,871 --> 00:40:07,072
No, I'm good.
861
00:40:07,172 --> 00:40:09,474
Got the big pool,
up on top. Lockdown.
862
00:40:09,574 --> 00:40:12,464
Good. My man,
let's do it. Come on.
863
00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:19,518
What is this?
864
00:40:19,618 --> 00:40:21,920
It's my boy,
Greg DiStefano, man.
865
00:40:22,020 --> 00:40:22,921
Buying alcohol from a cop?
866
00:40:23,021 --> 00:40:24,089
Hey, don't worry.
867
00:40:24,189 --> 00:40:25,657
All right,
all right, all right.
868
00:40:25,757 --> 00:40:27,759
You're under arrest for being gay.
869
00:40:27,859 --> 00:40:29,528
No, I'm fucking with you.
That's legal now.
870
00:40:29,628 --> 00:40:30,796
Wassup, you bitch?
Wassup, man.
871
00:40:30,896 --> 00:40:32,998
How you doing, man?
Easy. Hey. Gun. Respect.
872
00:40:33,098 --> 00:40:34,399
Sorry.
Fucking with you again.
873
00:40:34,499 --> 00:40:36,101
Who's this guy?
874
00:40:36,201 --> 00:40:39,104
Uh, this is my buddy, Danny.
He's totally cool.
875
00:40:39,204 --> 00:40:40,572
He's my friend.
876
00:40:40,672 --> 00:40:42,074
I feel like these guys are...
877
00:40:42,174 --> 00:40:45,404
... Like the gay versions of us?
878
00:40:45,910 --> 00:40:48,413
Fuck, man. So what's up?
We got a party?
879
00:40:48,513 --> 00:40:50,349
You want liquor, I know.
I got to ask.
880
00:40:50,449 --> 00:40:51,883
Everyone who's drinking,
they 21?
881
00:40:51,983 --> 00:40:53,452
Right?
882
00:40:53,552 --> 00:40:56,388
Wink. I'm fucking with you.
Always fucking with you.
883
00:40:56,488 --> 00:40:57,789
Never forget it.
All right, come on.
884
00:40:57,889 --> 00:41:00,726
I got something else for you,
if you're interested.
885
00:41:00,826 --> 00:41:01,827
All right.
886
00:41:01,927 --> 00:41:03,562
Got a couple of fireworks.
887
00:41:03,662 --> 00:41:06,496
Holy shit.
Welcome to China.
888
00:41:08,633 --> 00:41:09,698
Fireworks.
Get in there,
889
00:41:09,798 --> 00:41:10,702
whatever you want.
890
00:41:10,802 --> 00:41:12,104
However, beforehand...
891
00:41:12,204 --> 00:41:13,672
... Yeah?
...can we stop by?
892
00:41:13,772 --> 00:41:15,574
You mind if we kind of roll up?
893
00:41:15,674 --> 00:41:16,522
Stop by where?
Yeah, it'll be...
894
00:41:16,622 --> 00:41:16,975
...fun to come.
895
00:41:17,075 --> 00:41:18,143
To the party.
To the party.
896
00:41:18,243 --> 00:41:19,644
This is my boy Wankel,
by the way.
897
00:41:19,744 --> 00:41:21,322
What's going on?
Wankel, Officer.
898
00:41:21,422 --> 00:41:21,780
Oh, hey.
899
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:23,139
No, I don't fucking hug.
900
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:23,715
I'm sorry.
901
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:27,452
Uh, I don't know if you guys
want to come to this party.
902
00:41:27,552 --> 00:41:28,839
We'll come.
It's a party, right?
903
00:41:28,939 --> 00:41:29,788
With girls and shit?
904
00:41:29,888 --> 00:41:31,451
There's girls, yeah.
We would be very...
905
00:41:31,551 --> 00:41:32,424
...interested in coming.
906
00:41:32,524 --> 00:41:34,593
Um, then, yeah.
A firm yes.
907
00:41:34,693 --> 00:41:37,596
That's what I'm talking about.
See you Saturday. All right?
908
00:41:37,696 --> 00:41:39,965
Now unload the trunk.
Let's go. Hurry up.
909
00:41:40,065 --> 00:41:41,967
The city's paying for this. Come on.
910
00:41:42,067 --> 00:41:43,702
All right,
let's get the booze first.
911
00:41:43,802 --> 00:41:45,604
These guys can't even pick up the keg.
912
00:41:45,704 --> 00:41:47,539
What are they,
fucking firemen, bro?
913
00:41:47,639 --> 00:41:49,253
Hey, leave the syrah.
The syrah stays.
914
00:41:49,353 --> 00:41:50,575
Don't fucking take the syrah.
915
00:41:50,675 --> 00:41:51,843
We didn't say you could take the syrah.
916
00:41:51,943 --> 00:41:52,878
Fucking genius over here.
917
00:41:52,978 --> 00:41:54,978
God forbid.
918
00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:02,921
You're okay.
It's just a bigger baby pool...
919
00:42:03,021 --> 00:42:05,021
...with bigger babies.
920
00:42:05,923 --> 00:42:07,923
Oh, shit.
921
00:42:08,259 --> 00:42:10,462
Just keep it together, Frank.
922
00:42:10,562 --> 00:42:12,731
With great power comes...
Hey, Frank.
923
00:42:12,831 --> 00:42:13,590
Hey.
You're on...
924
00:42:13,690 --> 00:42:14,766
...big pool now, I see.
925
00:42:14,866 --> 00:42:19,869
You know, I've actually been
on the big pool for a while.
926
00:42:20,871 --> 00:42:22,073
You haven't seen me?
That's crazy.
927
00:42:22,173 --> 00:42:24,009
My nickname's 'Big Pool'.
928
00:42:24,109 --> 00:42:25,917
Yeah. Um, hey.
So, can I ask you...
929
00:42:26,017 --> 00:42:26,645
...a question?
930
00:42:26,745 --> 00:42:30,715
Do you know where we could
get some pot for Saturday?
931
00:42:30,815 --> 00:42:33,518
Pot. I got pot.
I can get you pot. Yeah.
932
00:42:33,618 --> 00:42:35,487
So you have someone?
Yeah.
933
00:42:35,587 --> 00:42:37,756
I totally have someone
and you're gonna get your pot.
934
00:42:37,856 --> 00:42:39,491
Awesome. Thank you
so much, Frank.
935
00:42:39,591 --> 00:42:41,591
Ah, you're so welcome.
936
00:42:43,294 --> 00:42:46,354
Thank you for that sweet, sweet ass.
937
00:42:47,264 --> 00:42:49,264
Damn.
938
00:42:49,700 --> 00:42:52,675
Where the fuck am I gonna find pot?
939
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,280
Psst.
940
00:43:05,316 --> 00:43:07,316
Mr. Stewart?
941
00:43:08,118 --> 00:43:10,587
Psst.
I'm naked.
942
00:43:10,589 --> 00:43:12,123
Help me out, man.
I'm trapped.
943
00:43:12,223 --> 00:43:13,258
Come on, man,
I'm naked in here.
944
00:43:13,358 --> 00:43:15,527
Help me out.
Give me your pants.
945
00:43:15,627 --> 00:43:17,562
Come on, my man. My man.
946
00:43:17,662 --> 00:43:20,129
Come on.
I demand my dignity.
947
00:43:20,631 --> 00:43:22,167
I'm a human being.
948
00:43:22,267 --> 00:43:24,267
God... God damn it.
949
00:43:31,342 --> 00:43:34,010
Whoo-hoo. That was fun.
950
00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:40,949
Yeah, Skootch.
951
00:43:50,327 --> 00:43:52,327
Hello?
952
00:44:07,778 --> 00:44:09,281
The turd is off the toilet.
953
00:44:09,381 --> 00:44:12,526
I repeat, the turd is off the toilet.
954
00:44:12,783 --> 00:44:14,119
We'll need more time.
955
00:44:14,219 --> 00:44:16,219
Got it.
956
00:44:23,727 --> 00:44:25,931
No, no, no, no.
Wait. No, no. God.
957
00:44:26,031 --> 00:44:28,031
It's dissolving. No.
958
00:44:31,001 --> 00:44:32,003
God.
959
00:44:32,103 --> 00:44:33,972
Yes. Yes. Yes.
960
00:44:34,072 --> 00:44:35,907
Man, I love this car.
961
00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:40,937
I got it for the bench seats.
Perfect for blowjobs. Just...
962
00:44:45,349 --> 00:44:47,752
... Are you done?
Blowjibby. Blowjibby.
963
00:44:47,852 --> 00:44:49,709
I'm sorry.
We got to go.
964
00:44:49,809 --> 00:44:51,809
Yeah.
965
00:44:59,063 --> 00:45:00,799
Hello there, beautiful.
966
00:45:00,899 --> 00:45:02,667
Get the hell out of here.
967
00:45:02,767 --> 00:45:03,802
Come on.
I just want some...
968
00:45:03,902 --> 00:45:04,703
...free chicken fingers.
969
00:45:04,803 --> 00:45:05,937
Why you got to be
so cheap, Dolores?
970
00:45:06,037 --> 00:45:08,037
Cheap? I'm cheap?
971
00:45:08,338 --> 00:45:10,141
I'll give you something for free.
972
00:45:10,241 --> 00:45:13,015
Screw you and screw all your jerkoff...
973
00:45:13,115 --> 00:45:14,379
...lifeguard friends.
974
00:45:14,479 --> 00:45:17,158
I'd rather take all my food
and put it in the trash...
975
00:45:17,258 --> 00:45:17,882
...and burn it,
976
00:45:17,982 --> 00:45:20,085
rather than give it to you pricks. Okay?
977
00:45:20,185 --> 00:45:21,386
All right.
You know what, that's fine.
978
00:45:21,486 --> 00:45:23,655
That's fine.
Because you just lost...
979
00:45:23,755 --> 00:45:26,224
... this stud's business.
Congratulations.
980
00:45:26,324 --> 00:45:28,695
Business implies you have money,
981
00:45:28,795 --> 00:45:30,694
you delusional piece of shit.
982
00:45:30,794 --> 00:45:32,794
Fuck.
983
00:45:40,304 --> 00:45:42,106
Hmm.
984
00:45:42,206 --> 00:45:44,206
Damn.
985
00:45:47,244 --> 00:45:49,244
Bounce it.
986
00:45:49,847 --> 00:45:51,847
Bounce it. Bounce it.
987
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,320
Bounce that butt.
988
00:46:01,492 --> 00:46:03,860
Oh, my God.
989
00:46:03,862 --> 00:46:08,027
Hey, hey, hey. He's drowning.
The kid is drowning.
990
00:46:08,232 --> 00:46:09,401
Oh. Okay. Oh, shit.
991
00:46:09,501 --> 00:46:10,802
He's out there.
992
00:46:10,902 --> 00:46:14,337
Okay. I'm coming.
Okay, okay, I got this.
993
00:46:14,339 --> 00:46:16,339
Go in.
Okay.
994
00:46:16,975 --> 00:46:20,177
Get in there.
Who cares about the whistle?
995
00:46:20,277 --> 00:46:22,277
Go. Go to him.
996
00:46:22,513 --> 00:46:24,182
Save in progress.
997
00:46:24,282 --> 00:46:25,383
Oh, he's gonna die.
998
00:46:25,483 --> 00:46:26,885
Frank.
999
00:46:26,985 --> 00:46:29,285
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1000
00:46:30,521 --> 00:46:32,424
Come here, buddy.
- He's gonna die.
1001
00:46:32,524 --> 00:46:34,957
That precious child,
get him.
1002
00:46:36,059 --> 00:46:37,028
Oh, God.
1003
00:46:37,128 --> 00:46:38,363
Save.
1004
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:40,198
Save in progress.
1005
00:46:40,298 --> 00:46:41,833
Come here, baby.
1006
00:46:41,933 --> 00:46:44,233
That's a save. It's a save.
1007
00:46:45,369 --> 00:46:46,471
Save in progress.
1008
00:46:46,571 --> 00:46:51,307
My sweet choking boy. Come on.
1009
00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:55,231
Oh, God, you're gorgeous.
Get out of the water.
1010
00:46:55,331 --> 00:46:57,331
You're so beautiful.
1011
00:46:57,882 --> 00:47:00,217
Your lungs work?
You're all right?
1012
00:47:00,317 --> 00:47:02,318
Oh, my God.
1013
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,087
Oh, my God.
That's a kid boner.
1014
00:47:05,089 --> 00:47:06,791
No, no, no.
It's not a kid boner.
1015
00:47:06,891 --> 00:47:08,922
I know a kid boner when I see a kid boner,
1016
00:47:09,022 --> 00:47:09,461
you freak.
1017
00:47:09,561 --> 00:47:10,929
Creep.
1018
00:47:11,029 --> 00:47:12,764
What is going on here?
1019
00:47:12,864 --> 00:47:14,265
What the hell is going on here?
1020
00:47:14,365 --> 00:47:16,201
He's got a boner.
A what?
1021
00:47:16,301 --> 00:47:19,237
I have a boner, that's true.
But it's about Rachel.
1022
00:47:19,337 --> 00:47:21,462
Frank, that's disgusting.
1023
00:47:21,572 --> 00:47:22,941
And you.
1024
00:47:23,041 --> 00:47:25,210
I'm the manager.
Put some clothes on.
1025
00:47:25,310 --> 00:47:27,479
What's wrong with you, perv?
1026
00:47:27,579 --> 00:47:30,038
Frank, I literally left you
alone in the big pool...
1027
00:47:30,138 --> 00:47:30,949
...for 10 minutes.
1028
00:47:31,049 --> 00:47:33,049
How'd you fuck that up?
1029
00:47:34,518 --> 00:47:37,663
Rachel saw the whole thing.
It's over.
1030
00:47:38,021 --> 00:47:39,357
No, come on, man.
It's not over.
1031
00:47:39,457 --> 00:47:40,959
Hey, you know what?
1032
00:47:41,059 --> 00:47:43,225
There's always someone else out there,
1033
00:47:43,325 --> 00:47:43,862
you know.
1034
00:47:43,962 --> 00:47:45,496
Like, what about this guy?
1035
00:47:45,596 --> 00:47:47,198
Fuck off.
1036
00:47:47,298 --> 00:47:48,955
Relax, man.
You didn't blow it...
1037
00:47:49,055 --> 00:47:50,135
...with Rachel. Okay?
1038
00:47:50,235 --> 00:47:52,183
You just have to do something
to impress her.
1039
00:47:52,283 --> 00:47:53,037
Just win her back.
1040
00:47:53,137 --> 00:47:55,240
She asked me to buy her weed.
1041
00:47:55,340 --> 00:47:57,762
Just find an ice cream truck. I mean,
1042
00:47:57,862 --> 00:47:59,477
all those guys sell weed.
1043
00:47:59,577 --> 00:48:00,417
Literally,
they all sell weed.
1044
00:48:00,517 --> 00:48:01,279
Yeah, they all sell weed.
1045
00:48:01,379 --> 00:48:03,181
You think they make
enough money to live...
1046
00:48:03,281 --> 00:48:05,984
... off of Choco Tacos
and Ninja Turtle pops?
1047
00:48:06,084 --> 00:48:08,219
All right, guys.
Regardless of Frank...
1048
00:48:08,319 --> 00:48:11,322
... ruining a kid's life,
I got the keys.
1049
00:48:11,422 --> 00:48:13,258
Yeah, and Danny,
we got them booze.
1050
00:48:13,358 --> 00:48:15,226
Yeah, and everyone I know,
1051
00:48:15,326 --> 00:48:17,929
man, woman, child,
homeless man in ski goggles,
1052
00:48:18,029 --> 00:48:20,749
they're all coming to the party.
1053
00:48:31,174 --> 00:48:32,877
Now, we can do this the easy way...
1054
00:48:32,977 --> 00:48:35,446
... or we can do this the hard way.
1055
00:48:35,546 --> 00:48:38,301
I saw a little hand reach under my stall.
1056
00:48:38,401 --> 00:48:39,883
It was a child's hand.
1057
00:48:39,983 --> 00:48:42,108
I don't think it was his.
1058
00:48:45,389 --> 00:48:48,414
Who do we got here?
Which one of you...
1059
00:48:48,514 --> 00:48:49,560
...is Brian Barr?
1060
00:48:49,660 --> 00:48:51,229
Hi, Brian Barr.
1061
00:48:51,329 --> 00:48:53,329
Huh? Oh.
1062
00:48:53,964 --> 00:48:56,434
Okay, let me follow the little fingy...
1063
00:48:56,534 --> 00:48:58,069
... straight to Wendell.
1064
00:48:58,169 --> 00:48:59,838
What the hell,
you rat.
1065
00:48:59,938 --> 00:49:02,173
Why, you son of
a Wendell's mother.
1066
00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:03,374
Why'd you do it, huh?
1067
00:49:03,474 --> 00:49:05,243
I'm not telling.
1068
00:49:05,343 --> 00:49:07,045
He was just trying to help the lifeguards.
1069
00:49:07,145 --> 00:49:08,546
They're having a party on Saturday.
1070
00:49:08,646 --> 00:49:10,947
You guys are the worst.
1071
00:49:10,949 --> 00:49:12,949
Party on Saturday, huh?
1072
00:49:13,550 --> 00:49:15,550
Interesting.
1073
00:49:18,655 --> 00:49:21,205
Operator,
get me the President.
1074
00:49:22,626 --> 00:49:25,006
Of the Department of Health.
1075
00:49:25,228 --> 00:49:27,228
For Staten Island.
1076
00:49:28,466 --> 00:49:30,466
The Departamente...
1077
00:49:31,435 --> 00:49:33,435
... de Health...
1078
00:49:35,005 --> 00:49:37,106
... Isle de Staten.
1079
00:50:25,122 --> 00:50:27,332
Can I help you?
Oh, my God.
1080
00:50:27,357 --> 00:50:29,357
Get.
1081
00:50:38,769 --> 00:50:40,405
Where is he?
1082
00:50:40,505 --> 00:50:41,972
Where?
1083
00:50:42,072 --> 00:50:44,072
Danny Campbell.
1084
00:50:49,346 --> 00:50:50,548
Mrs. Manicucci.
1085
00:50:50,648 --> 00:50:53,049
Please. Bianca.
1086
00:50:53,683 --> 00:50:55,286
Ah.
1087
00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:58,154
Look at you.
My God.
1088
00:50:58,156 --> 00:51:01,386
You kids are growing up so fast today.
1089
00:51:02,759 --> 00:51:04,629
You have to stay for dinner.
1090
00:51:04,729 --> 00:51:05,730
Oh, I would,
but...
1091
00:51:05,830 --> 00:51:07,830
...You're staying.
1092
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,490
You're a smart man, Chuck.
1093
00:51:42,699 --> 00:51:45,101
Chuck, one.
Lifeguards, lose.
1094
00:51:50,273 --> 00:51:52,273
That was...
1095
00:51:52,776 --> 00:51:54,776
... awkward.
1096
00:51:57,447 --> 00:51:59,447
So,
1097
00:52:00,150 --> 00:52:03,420
what was so important
that you came to my house?
1098
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:04,756
Oh, uh...
1099
00:52:04,856 --> 00:52:07,590
... Well, there was just this...
1100
00:52:07,592 --> 00:52:09,093
... There's this staff party
that we're having.
1101
00:52:09,193 --> 00:52:11,795
It's gonna be this big,
huge party and...
1102
00:52:11,895 --> 00:52:15,266
... I thought that,
since I'm leaving, maybe...
1103
00:52:15,366 --> 00:52:17,943
...it would be fun if you wanted to,
1104
00:52:18,043 --> 00:52:20,203
I don't know, go to the party.
1105
00:52:20,303 --> 00:52:22,303
Uh...
1106
00:52:22,639 --> 00:52:24,442
...Danny, that's really sweet.
1107
00:52:24,542 --> 00:52:27,078
And please don't take this the wrong way,
1108
00:52:27,178 --> 00:52:29,957
because it has nothing to do with you.
1109
00:52:30,057 --> 00:52:30,680
It's just...
1110
00:52:30,780 --> 00:52:34,180
...I just still see you as that kid that
1111
00:52:34,206 --> 00:52:36,053
I used to babysit.
1112
00:52:36,153 --> 00:52:37,822
Oh. Yeah. No, I...
1113
00:52:37,922 --> 00:52:39,924
... Look, I know.
I totally get that.
1114
00:52:40,024 --> 00:52:40,658
I was just...
1115
00:52:40,758 --> 00:52:42,362
...It was just a random thought. Honestly,
1116
00:52:42,462 --> 00:52:43,461
I was biking past anyways.
1117
00:52:43,561 --> 00:52:45,196
Yeah.
1118
00:52:45,296 --> 00:52:47,365
Oh, hey. I'm sorry
about my dad, by the way.
1119
00:52:47,465 --> 00:52:50,610
He's just a little intense sometimes.
1120
00:52:51,234 --> 00:52:53,234
I'm sure he's harmless.
1121
00:52:55,605 --> 00:52:56,773
Good night.
1122
00:52:56,873 --> 00:52:58,873
Yeah.
1123
00:53:00,810 --> 00:53:02,380
Have fun at the party.
1124
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,480
Yeah, I will.
1125
00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:12,156
So I'm harmless to you?
Get out of here.
1126
00:53:12,256 --> 00:53:13,691
I don't want you hanging out
with my daughter.
1127
00:53:13,791 --> 00:53:14,859
I'm not, I promise.
1128
00:53:14,959 --> 00:53:17,216
I was just inviting her to a party.
1129
00:53:17,316 --> 00:53:19,230
But she doesn't want to go.
1130
00:53:19,330 --> 00:53:21,041
A party?
What kind of a party?
1131
00:53:21,141 --> 00:53:21,833
A sex party?
1132
00:53:21,933 --> 00:53:24,268
No. No, no, no,
I don't do sex parties.
1133
00:53:24,368 --> 00:53:25,703
You lying piece of shit.
1134
00:53:25,803 --> 00:53:29,240
I saw you in the deli today,
buying condoms. Six boxes.
1135
00:53:29,340 --> 00:53:30,775
I'm not trying to have sex with anyone.
1136
00:53:30,875 --> 00:53:31,175
All right?
1137
00:53:31,275 --> 00:53:32,877
I've never even had sex.
I've had, like,
1138
00:53:32,977 --> 00:53:35,480
three handjobs,
two to completion.
1139
00:53:35,580 --> 00:53:37,610
I will never hang out
with your daughter again,
1140
00:53:37,710 --> 00:53:38,483
I swear on my life.
1141
00:53:38,583 --> 00:53:41,385
If I ever catch you
with my daughter again,
1142
00:53:41,485 --> 00:53:43,111
they're gonna find little pieces...
1143
00:53:43,211 --> 00:53:44,222
...of Danny Campbell...
1144
00:53:44,322 --> 00:53:46,524
... sprinkled up and down
the Verrazano Bridge.
1145
00:53:46,624 --> 00:53:48,359
You got that?
1146
00:53:48,459 --> 00:53:50,394
Now get the fuck off my property.
1147
00:53:50,494 --> 00:53:52,494
Now.
1148
00:53:52,796 --> 00:53:54,796
Piece of shit.
1149
00:53:59,703 --> 00:54:02,238
Hey, guys,
sorry I'm late.
1150
00:54:02,839 --> 00:54:05,507
Frank called,
looking for you.
1151
00:54:05,509 --> 00:54:08,846
Said you were stopping by
Krystal Manicucci's house.
1152
00:54:08,946 --> 00:54:10,167
Mom,
who is this?
1153
00:54:10,267 --> 00:54:11,348
Hmm.
1154
00:54:11,448 --> 00:54:12,683
This? This is just a patient of mine...
1155
00:54:12,783 --> 00:54:14,886
...who used to be able to walk.
1156
00:54:14,986 --> 00:54:18,556
Until he got a motorcycle and
he wiped out on the freeway.
1157
00:54:18,656 --> 00:54:21,206
What's up, guy?
How's it going?
1158
00:54:21,725 --> 00:54:22,893
Griffith.
1159
00:54:22,993 --> 00:54:24,695
Oh, yeah, but...
1160
00:54:24,795 --> 00:54:26,628
... Yeah. Yeah,
listen to your mom.
1161
00:54:26,728 --> 00:54:27,598
Motorcycles are...
1162
00:54:27,698 --> 00:54:29,167
... They're fucked up. Okay?
1163
00:54:29,267 --> 00:54:32,268
I mean, you know, messed up.
1164
00:54:32,270 --> 00:54:34,305
Right?
They're bad news, hombre.
1165
00:54:34,405 --> 00:54:36,440
Huh? Okay?
It's like, talk to the chair...
1166
00:54:36,540 --> 00:54:37,775
... 'cause the legs ain't listening.
1167
00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:39,410
Right?
1168
00:54:39,510 --> 00:54:41,223
Mom, I've never ridden a motorcycle...
1169
00:54:41,323 --> 00:54:41,746
...in my life.
1170
00:54:41,846 --> 00:54:43,660
I don't think I've
actually seen one in person.
1171
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:44,582
But you know what?
1172
00:54:44,682 --> 00:54:46,384
If I want to ride a motorcycle, I will.
1173
00:54:46,484 --> 00:54:48,352
Okay. It's a perfectly viable life skill.
1174
00:54:48,452 --> 00:54:50,126
No, it is not, Danny.
It is a death skill,
1175
00:54:50,226 --> 00:54:50,922
that's what it is.
1176
00:54:51,022 --> 00:54:52,622
A death skill.
1177
00:54:52,722 --> 00:54:53,925
A motorcycle?
1178
00:54:54,025 --> 00:54:55,920
Is she the one that's turning you...
1179
00:54:56,020 --> 00:54:57,495
...on to these motorcycles?
1180
00:54:57,595 --> 00:54:59,263
That girl is a bad influence.
1181
00:54:59,363 --> 00:55:00,631
You don't even fucking know her.
1182
00:55:00,731 --> 00:55:02,500
Whoa. Language, guy.
1183
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:04,680
You can't ground me anymore, Mom.
1184
00:55:04,780 --> 00:55:05,436
I'm an adult.
1185
00:55:05,536 --> 00:55:07,271
And like any normal adult,
1186
00:55:07,371 --> 00:55:09,273
I'm not going to Disney World.
You know why?
1187
00:55:09,373 --> 00:55:10,731
Because normal adults go places...
1188
00:55:10,831 --> 00:55:11,609
...that are interesting.
1189
00:55:11,709 --> 00:55:13,749
Like England. Or France.
1190
00:55:15,612 --> 00:55:19,249
Well, for your information,
we're going to England.
1191
00:55:19,349 --> 00:55:21,349
And France.
1192
00:55:22,452 --> 00:55:25,172
It's called EPCOT effing Center.
1193
00:55:27,524 --> 00:55:29,524
Jesus.
1194
00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:35,323
That's what happened
when they rode motorcycles.
1195
00:55:35,398 --> 00:55:36,901
You got any hot sauce?
1196
00:55:37,001 --> 00:55:39,001
No, we don't, Griffith.
1197
00:55:40,971 --> 00:55:43,341
All right. This ought to kick it up a notch.
1198
00:55:43,441 --> 00:55:45,276
Where did you get this?
1199
00:55:45,376 --> 00:55:48,478
My cousin works for Delta.
He gets free jet fuel.
1200
00:55:48,578 --> 00:55:51,080
Hey, Victor.
How you doing?
1201
00:55:51,082 --> 00:55:52,483
Unstoppable.
1202
00:55:52,583 --> 00:55:54,950
Word.
1203
00:55:54,952 --> 00:55:56,877
Hey. I wanted to let you know
we're having a staff...
1204
00:55:56,977 --> 00:55:57,722
...party this Saturday,
1205
00:55:57,822 --> 00:55:59,257
if you want to come by.
1206
00:55:59,357 --> 00:56:01,592
Oh, really?
You're inviting me?
1207
00:56:01,692 --> 00:56:03,661
Like, you consider me part of the staff?
1208
00:56:03,761 --> 00:56:06,662
Yeah. Of course, man,
always.
1209
00:56:06,664 --> 00:56:08,366
You want me to make
anything for the party?
1210
00:56:08,466 --> 00:56:12,003
I'll do an ice sculpture.
You know, like an angel.
1211
00:56:12,103 --> 00:56:13,704
Nah, I think we're good, man.
But thank you.
1212
00:56:13,804 --> 00:56:16,740
Yeah, I wanna make you an ice sculpture.
1213
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,743
Oh, no, you don't have to,
man. I think we'll be okay.
1214
00:56:18,843 --> 00:56:20,578
We're gonna have, like,
booze and weed and stuff.
1215
00:56:20,678 --> 00:56:23,931
We don't need an ice
sculpture. It's summer.
1216
00:56:24,031 --> 00:56:25,416
It'll melt pretty fast.
1217
00:56:25,516 --> 00:56:26,857
Huh?
It's ice, so it'll melt.
1218
00:56:26,957 --> 00:56:27,685
So we don't...
1219
00:56:27,785 --> 00:56:29,486
...So you want one?
No.
1220
00:56:29,586 --> 00:56:31,586
Yeah.
1221
00:56:32,622 --> 00:56:34,958
Hey, did you see
the giant new hornets' nest?
1222
00:56:35,058 --> 00:56:36,927
Where?
Yeah, over the shed.
1223
00:56:37,027 --> 00:56:38,562
What?
- Holy shit.
1224
00:56:38,662 --> 00:56:40,031
Yeah. You might wanna
take care of that, man.
1225
00:56:40,131 --> 00:56:42,833
Come on, little man,
we got some work to do.
1226
00:56:42,933 --> 00:56:44,001
Move out of the way, yeah.
1227
00:56:44,101 --> 00:56:46,141
Watch it.
Very flammable.
1228
00:56:46,570 --> 00:56:48,406
Can I come to the party, too?
1229
00:56:48,506 --> 00:56:51,226
We'll see.
I only get a plus one.
1230
00:56:51,574 --> 00:56:52,643
Yo.
1231
00:56:52,743 --> 00:56:55,778
Will Hunting,
this is disgusting.
1232
00:56:55,780 --> 00:56:57,682
All right. Come on.
Quit your dog shopping.
1233
00:56:57,782 --> 00:56:59,317
Chuck's at lunch.
It's game time. All right?
1234
00:56:59,417 --> 00:57:01,617
I'm out today.
1235
00:57:01,619 --> 00:57:03,938
All right, man.
You're gonna...
1236
00:57:04,038 --> 00:57:05,655
...miss all the action.
1237
00:57:05,755 --> 00:57:08,140
I'm telling you,
Osama Bin Laden...
1238
00:57:08,240 --> 00:57:09,727
...had this dog. Right?
1239
00:57:09,827 --> 00:57:12,063
Best friend in the entire fucking world.
1240
00:57:12,163 --> 00:57:14,498
And our military was able to go in,
1241
00:57:14,598 --> 00:57:17,435
kidnap the dog,
bring it back to the US,
1242
00:57:17,535 --> 00:57:19,670
teach the motherfucker
how to speak English,
1243
00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:22,000
and that's how they found out where
1244
00:57:22,100 --> 00:57:23,908
Osama Bin Laden was hiding.
1245
00:57:24,008 --> 00:57:25,042
What, you don't believe me?
1246
00:57:25,142 --> 00:57:27,676
Okay, I can do this.
1247
00:57:27,678 --> 00:57:30,588
This is easy.
Frank Gomes, drug buyer.
1248
00:57:30,688 --> 00:57:31,614
I can do this.
1249
00:57:31,714 --> 00:57:33,550
Hey.
1250
00:57:33,650 --> 00:57:36,115
Can you guys get out of here?
1251
00:57:36,119 --> 00:57:39,056
Sorry. Could you please leave?
Thank you.
1252
00:57:39,156 --> 00:57:41,858
That looks good.
Enjoy your juice.
1253
00:57:41,958 --> 00:57:43,560
Hey, uh,
1254
00:57:43,660 --> 00:57:44,961
Konko.
1255
00:57:45,061 --> 00:57:46,397
That's a cool name, man.
1256
00:57:46,497 --> 00:57:48,622
Is that Eastern European?
1257
00:57:48,932 --> 00:57:50,400
So you sell,
1258
00:57:50,500 --> 00:57:53,101
mmm, drugs?
1259
00:57:53,103 --> 00:57:54,705
Oh, because I'm black,
I sell drugs.
1260
00:57:54,805 --> 00:57:56,872
No. I did not say that.
1261
00:57:56,874 --> 00:57:58,642
I heard a rumor that all ice cream men,
1262
00:57:58,742 --> 00:58:00,578
regardless of race,
sold drugs.
1263
00:58:00,678 --> 00:58:02,526
Relax, dude.
I'm just messing...
1264
00:58:02,626 --> 00:58:03,814
...with you. All right?
1265
00:58:03,914 --> 00:58:05,149
Okay.
1266
00:58:05,249 --> 00:58:06,417
Yeah, I can get you some.
1267
00:58:06,517 --> 00:58:07,818
What you want? Crack?
1268
00:58:07,918 --> 00:58:09,120
Crack? No. Not crack.
1269
00:58:09,220 --> 00:58:10,855
No, no, no, no.
I just want some weed.
1270
00:58:10,955 --> 00:58:12,156
You know, weed.
1271
00:58:12,256 --> 00:58:14,136
Bitch, do I look like I sell crack?
1272
00:58:14,236 --> 00:58:14,392
No.
1273
00:58:14,492 --> 00:58:17,222
You have your own business.
You're not dumb.
1274
00:58:17,322 --> 00:58:18,429
You're a smart guy.
1275
00:58:18,529 --> 00:58:19,706
You want green,
right?
1276
00:58:19,806 --> 00:58:20,064
Yeah.
1277
00:58:20,164 --> 00:58:22,664
All right,
let's go, get in.
1278
00:58:22,666 --> 00:58:24,869
Your truck? I only got five
minutes on break, man. I...
1279
00:58:24,969 --> 00:58:26,804
... We'll only be gone a minute.
1280
00:58:26,904 --> 00:58:28,657
Like an actual 60-second minute,
1281
00:58:28,757 --> 00:58:29,073
or like,
1282
00:58:29,173 --> 00:58:30,883
you know, 'Wassup, homie,
haven't seen you...
1283
00:58:30,983 --> 00:58:31,742
...in a minute' minute?
1284
00:58:31,842 --> 00:58:33,677
Now get your simple ass
in the truck, man.
1285
00:58:33,777 --> 00:58:36,881
I'll get in the truck.
I'll get in the truck.
1286
00:58:36,981 --> 00:58:39,458
All right,
give me your parents' money.
1287
00:58:39,558 --> 00:58:40,484
Let's go, guys.
1288
00:58:40,584 --> 00:58:43,421
Whoa, Sofia, high roller.
Where did you get this?
1289
00:58:43,521 --> 00:58:47,294
Bets are closed, guys.
Two to one odds...
1290
00:58:47,394 --> 00:58:49,026
...on Mikey Calcags.
1291
00:58:49,126 --> 00:58:50,828
You're a punk, Mikey.
1292
00:58:50,928 --> 00:58:52,696
Nobody likes you.
1293
00:58:52,796 --> 00:58:54,465
You got this, baby.
You got this.
1294
00:58:54,565 --> 00:58:56,734
Hey, I'm looking for Chuck Casino.
1295
00:58:56,834 --> 00:58:58,769
Oh, not now, man.
We got deck races going on.
1296
00:58:58,869 --> 00:59:00,037
Hey, you want in?
1297
00:59:00,137 --> 00:59:01,806
Hey, and by the way,
my kid is a lock.
1298
00:59:01,906 --> 00:59:03,541
I sprinkled some Adderall
on his chicken fingers.
1299
00:59:03,641 --> 00:59:06,563
All right, remember the rules. You stay...
1300
00:59:06,663 --> 00:59:08,446
...within the glass bottles.
1301
00:59:08,546 --> 00:59:11,048
First one to dive
into the shallow end wins.
1302
00:59:11,148 --> 00:59:13,148
And remember, you guys,
1303
00:59:13,283 --> 00:59:15,119
no running.
1304
00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:17,542
Come on, come on,
come on, Mikey.
1305
00:59:17,642 --> 00:59:18,189
Go. Run.
1306
00:59:18,289 --> 00:59:19,557
Go, Mikey.
1307
00:59:19,657 --> 00:59:21,125
Come on, Mikey.
Go, Johnny, go.
1308
00:59:21,225 --> 00:59:23,027
Come on, Mikey.
Go.
1309
00:59:23,127 --> 00:59:25,127
That was Calcags.
1310
00:59:28,765 --> 00:59:31,166
Boo-yah.
1311
00:59:31,168 --> 00:59:33,906
Oh, thank God, man.
Oh, my kid yesterday...
1312
00:59:34,006 --> 00:59:35,739
...wiped out like a mo'fucker.
1313
00:59:35,839 --> 00:59:37,575
There was so much
blood in the pool,
1314
00:59:37,675 --> 00:59:38,929
it looked like the Kool-Aid Man...
1315
00:59:39,029 --> 00:59:39,577
...killed himself.
1316
00:59:39,677 --> 00:59:40,778
Like he caught his wife cheating.
1317
00:59:40,878 --> 00:59:42,646
Like he came home and he was like,
1318
00:59:42,746 --> 00:59:44,746
'Oh, no.'
1319
00:59:46,082 --> 00:59:47,718
Just brains.
1320
00:59:47,818 --> 00:59:49,820
Just Kool-Aid brains everywhere.
1321
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:53,065
Who are you?
I'm the health inspector.
1322
00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:56,225
I was kidding about everything.
1323
00:59:59,862 --> 01:00:02,233
A health inspector?
What are you doing here?
1324
01:00:02,333 --> 01:00:04,835
Is this some sort of
surprise inspection?
1325
01:00:04,935 --> 01:00:06,671
Are you Chuck Casino?
1326
01:00:06,771 --> 01:00:07,070
Yeah.
1327
01:00:07,170 --> 01:00:08,839
You called me.
1328
01:00:08,939 --> 01:00:12,041
Oh, that's right, I did.
I did. I forgot.
1329
01:00:12,141 --> 01:00:14,141
Anonymously.
1330
01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:20,215
'Are dogs reliable spies?'
1331
01:00:21,384 --> 01:00:22,820
Hey, can I check out the ice creams?
1332
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:24,154
I told you not to touch anything.
1333
01:00:24,254 --> 01:00:25,629
Can we turn on the music?
1334
01:00:25,729 --> 01:00:25,855
No.
1335
01:00:25,955 --> 01:00:27,725
The pH level is a five.
1336
01:00:27,825 --> 01:00:29,793
Bro, five out of 10 ain't bad.
1337
01:00:29,893 --> 01:00:30,995
It's out of 14.
1338
01:00:31,095 --> 01:00:33,264
And yes, it is bad.
It's worse than urine.
1339
01:00:33,364 --> 01:00:35,132
I'm shutting you guys down
for the weekend.
1340
01:00:35,232 --> 01:00:37,766
What?
Yeah. What a shame.
1341
01:00:37,768 --> 01:00:39,969
I guess this happens
with pools sometimes.
1342
01:00:40,069 --> 01:00:42,069
Did you do this?
1343
01:00:43,106 --> 01:00:45,045
Why would I want to ruin a party that
1344
01:00:45,145 --> 01:00:46,110
I wasn't invited to?
1345
01:00:46,210 --> 01:00:47,677
You son of a bitch.
Okay. Skootch,
1346
01:00:47,777 --> 01:00:48,545
Skootch, Skootch.
1347
01:00:48,645 --> 01:00:50,645
Whoo.
1348
01:00:51,114 --> 01:00:53,551
Look. Don't move,
and don't touch nothing.
1349
01:00:53,651 --> 01:00:56,116
Yeah, yeah,
you got it, Konko.
1350
01:00:56,753 --> 01:00:58,656
I got to get the fuck out of here.
1351
01:00:58,756 --> 01:01:01,561
Shaolin's finest.
Wassup with you?
1352
01:01:01,858 --> 01:01:03,858
Fuck.
1353
01:01:04,794 --> 01:01:06,163
May I help you?
- Hi.
1354
01:01:06,263 --> 01:01:08,263
Hey. Uh...
1355
01:01:08,398 --> 01:01:11,035
... I was just...
I wanted some weed.
1356
01:01:11,135 --> 01:01:14,435
Uh, yeah, I could get
some weed. If that's cool...
1357
01:01:14,535 --> 01:01:16,105
...for you. Convenience.
1358
01:01:16,205 --> 01:01:18,205
All right, come on.
1359
01:01:18,941 --> 01:01:20,941
Oh, my God.
1360
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:25,249
All right.
Ready to do the honors?
1361
01:01:25,349 --> 01:01:27,051
Hells to the yeah.
1362
01:01:27,151 --> 01:01:30,721
Okay, but remember.
A-B-C.'Always Be Safe.'
1363
01:01:32,288 --> 01:01:34,058
Sir, you got to believe me, man.
1364
01:01:34,158 --> 01:01:36,051
Chuck set this whole thing up. I swear...
1365
01:01:36,151 --> 01:01:37,194
...on Chuck's shitty life.
1366
01:01:37,294 --> 01:01:41,730
Sorry, Skootch.
Looks like the P-A-R-T-Y is...
1367
01:01:41,732 --> 01:01:44,032
... O-V-E-R-Y.
1368
01:01:44,367 --> 01:01:46,435
'Party is overy?'
1369
01:01:46,437 --> 01:01:48,237
Wait a sec,
did you say Skootch?
1370
01:01:48,337 --> 01:01:48,606
Yeah.
1371
01:01:48,706 --> 01:01:50,773
Did you work at the YMCA,
like, 15 years ago?
1372
01:01:50,873 --> 01:01:52,141
Perhaps.
1373
01:01:52,241 --> 01:01:53,944
Mike Lynch.
1374
01:01:54,044 --> 01:01:54,990
Shut up.
You taught me...
1375
01:01:55,090 --> 01:01:55,613
...how to swim.
1376
01:01:55,713 --> 01:01:57,181
Mikey Lynch, man?
Yeah.
1377
01:01:57,281 --> 01:01:58,683
Dude, I haven't seen you since you were,
1378
01:01:58,783 --> 01:01:59,183
like, this tall.
1379
01:01:59,283 --> 01:02:01,283
What's going on, man?
1380
01:02:01,451 --> 01:02:04,387
All right, here you go.
Shaolin Special.
1381
01:02:04,487 --> 01:02:06,788
That's cocaine.
Do it.
1382
01:02:06,790 --> 01:02:08,692
Ugh, I did so many lines of coke,
1383
01:02:08,792 --> 01:02:09,397
it's like I don't even know...
1384
01:02:09,497 --> 01:02:09,827
...what time it is.
1385
01:02:09,927 --> 01:02:12,834
Listen, if you gonna
buy from us, we need...
1386
01:02:12,934 --> 01:02:14,365
...to know you straight.
1387
01:02:14,465 --> 01:02:16,465
Uh...
1388
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:20,137
... Do it.
I love you so much, Rachel.
1389
01:02:20,237 --> 01:02:21,939
Dude, you hooked
up with Kim Douglas...
1390
01:02:22,039 --> 01:02:24,407
... inside that dumpster.
She was so hot.
1391
01:02:24,507 --> 01:02:25,909
No.
Yeah.
1392
01:02:26,009 --> 01:02:27,378
Married?
Check it out, bro.
1393
01:02:27,478 --> 01:02:28,846
No way...
1394
01:02:28,946 --> 01:02:30,573
...You can say it.
Say it. She got big.
1395
01:02:30,673 --> 01:02:30,781
No.
1396
01:02:30,881 --> 01:02:32,921
She got big.
She got big.
1397
01:02:34,284 --> 01:02:36,654
Fuck. Fuck.
What the fuck is that?
1398
01:02:36,754 --> 01:02:38,322
It was a Pixy Stick.
1399
01:02:38,422 --> 01:02:40,789
Dude just snorted sugar.
1400
01:02:44,128 --> 01:02:45,729
Oh, God damn it.
1401
01:02:45,829 --> 01:02:48,032
You guys are jerks.
You guys are real jerks.
1402
01:02:48,132 --> 01:02:49,867
What? Who the fuck is you talking to?
1403
01:02:49,967 --> 01:02:51,802
Okay. You know what?
What the fuck am I saying?
1404
01:02:51,902 --> 01:02:53,270
Who the fuck am I to say that?
1405
01:02:53,370 --> 01:02:56,204
I am so sorry.
I am so, so sorry.
1406
01:02:56,206 --> 01:02:57,606
I'm so sorry.
I don't mean that.
1407
01:02:57,706 --> 01:02:58,909
I don't mean shit like that.
1408
01:02:59,009 --> 01:03:01,211
I gotta get out of here.
He's hilarious.
1409
01:03:01,311 --> 01:03:02,813
These violations are pretty minor.
1410
01:03:02,913 --> 01:03:04,248
I think we can work something out.
1411
01:03:04,348 --> 01:03:06,884
No, no, we're not
'working something out.'
1412
01:03:06,984 --> 01:03:09,286
Rules are rules.
Yeah, but not really, right?
1413
01:03:09,386 --> 01:03:11,889
Who hasn't peed in a pool?
It's nothing that dramatic.
1414
01:03:11,989 --> 01:03:14,624
I pee in the pool all the time.
1415
01:03:15,192 --> 01:03:17,192
Come to papa.
1416
01:03:40,383 --> 01:03:42,508
It's gonna blow. Go. Run.
1417
01:04:20,523 --> 01:04:22,523
Shit.
1418
01:04:26,495 --> 01:04:28,495
So, how's your mom?
1419
01:04:29,932 --> 01:04:31,301
I couldn't help it,
dawg, I had to do it.
1420
01:04:31,401 --> 01:04:33,203
What the fuck is going on?
1421
01:04:33,303 --> 01:04:35,135
I had to do it.
Look, look, look, I'm sorry.
1422
01:04:35,235 --> 01:04:36,073
Calm down, dawg.
1423
01:04:36,173 --> 01:04:38,325
Here, here, here.
Peace offering.
1424
01:04:38,425 --> 01:04:39,009
All right?
1425
01:04:39,109 --> 01:04:40,214
Thought I was gonna kill him.
1426
01:04:40,314 --> 01:04:40,544
I know.
1427
01:04:40,644 --> 01:04:42,878
Is this weed?
Yeah.
1428
01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:44,381
Oh, tough.
Thanks, guys.
1429
01:04:44,481 --> 01:04:46,550
Hey, wait. What's this I hear
about a party tomorrow?
1430
01:04:46,650 --> 01:04:48,418
Oh, there's a party at Great Kills.
1431
01:04:48,518 --> 01:04:52,107
Bring whoever you want.
Bring your friends.
1432
01:04:52,207 --> 01:04:53,557
Bring your moms.
1433
01:04:53,657 --> 01:04:55,767
Just bring whoever you want.
1434
01:04:55,867 --> 01:04:57,193
My man Pixy Stick.
1435
01:04:57,293 --> 01:04:59,263
Is that me?
I'm Pixy Stick?
1436
01:04:59,363 --> 01:05:01,130
Cool. Pixy Stick.
1437
01:05:01,230 --> 01:05:02,266
Aah.
1438
01:05:02,366 --> 01:05:04,366
Whoo.
1439
01:05:08,404 --> 01:05:10,040
Out you go.
1440
01:05:10,140 --> 01:05:11,975
Don't touch me.
Out you go, little Skootcher.
1441
01:05:12,075 --> 01:05:13,844
Shut the fuck up.
1442
01:05:13,944 --> 01:05:15,088
All right.
Have a good
1443
01:05:15,188 --> 01:05:16,113
Labor Day, guys.
1444
01:05:16,213 --> 01:05:18,129
Looks like Chuck's got the pool...
1445
01:05:18,229 --> 01:05:19,016
...all to himself.
1446
01:05:19,116 --> 01:05:21,926
Just think,
next time you're here,
1447
01:05:22,026 --> 01:05:24,026
you'll get arrested.
1448
01:05:33,195 --> 01:05:34,998
Oh, man.
1449
01:05:35,098 --> 01:05:38,533
I just ran, like,
30 blocks. Terrible.
1450
01:05:39,368 --> 01:05:40,571
What's going on?
1451
01:05:40,671 --> 01:05:42,005
Where the hell were you?
1452
01:05:42,105 --> 01:05:44,307
I was running an errand.
Who cares?
1453
01:05:44,407 --> 01:05:46,541
Chuck sabotaged us.
1454
01:05:46,543 --> 01:05:48,178
Chuck sabotaged us?
Danny's the one...
1455
01:05:48,278 --> 01:05:50,347
... who hid the booze
in Dolores's shed.
1456
01:05:50,447 --> 01:05:51,987
Which is pretty fucking stupid for a kid...
1457
01:05:52,087 --> 01:05:53,016
...who's going to Harvard.
1458
01:05:53,116 --> 01:05:54,218
Are you being serious right now?
1459
01:05:54,318 --> 01:05:56,839
The booze is not what blew up the shed.
1460
01:05:56,939 --> 01:05:58,188
It was the fireworks.
1461
01:05:58,288 --> 01:05:59,590
Whoa. Hey. Whoa.
Don't blame this on me.
1462
01:05:59,690 --> 01:06:02,357
Kisses not disses. Okay?
1463
01:06:02,359 --> 01:06:03,427
What's going on?
There's no party?
1464
01:06:03,527 --> 01:06:05,195
No party.
1465
01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:07,369
Because we also don't have jobs, man.
1466
01:06:07,469 --> 01:06:08,065
We're done.
1467
01:06:08,165 --> 01:06:09,466
I'm fucking out of here.
This is bullshit.
1468
01:06:09,566 --> 01:06:11,967
Hey. Anthony, stop.
1469
01:06:12,668 --> 01:06:14,303
Mary Ellen, stop.
1470
01:06:14,403 --> 01:06:16,403
Let's go.
1471
01:06:25,982 --> 01:06:28,362
Did they tow my fucking car?
1472
01:06:32,188 --> 01:06:33,478
You don't even know what I had to...
1473
01:06:33,578 --> 01:06:34,458
...go through to get weed.
1474
01:06:34,558 --> 01:06:36,558
Which I got.
1475
01:06:36,759 --> 01:06:39,196
I had a gun pointed at my head.
1476
01:06:39,296 --> 01:06:41,034
I had to ride in the back of...
1477
01:06:41,134 --> 01:06:42,398
...an ice cream truck.
1478
01:06:42,498 --> 01:06:44,623
I had to do fake cocaine.
1479
01:06:45,468 --> 01:06:47,535
This entire thing sucks.
1480
01:06:47,537 --> 01:06:48,788
This whole plan has been fucked...
1481
01:06:48,888 --> 01:06:49,640
...since the beginning.
1482
01:06:49,740 --> 01:06:52,073
Krystal's not coming and...
1483
01:06:52,075 --> 01:06:53,977
...Rachel doesn't even talk to you.
1484
01:06:54,077 --> 01:06:56,077
Fuck you, Danny.
1485
01:06:56,212 --> 01:06:59,116
I don't care about Rachel.
Or Krystal.
1486
01:06:59,216 --> 01:07:00,556
I don't even care about the party.
1487
01:07:00,656 --> 01:07:01,485
I just wanted to have...
1488
01:07:01,585 --> 01:07:04,321
... a last weekend with you,
where we're friends.
1489
01:07:04,421 --> 01:07:05,516
That's bullshit.
We've been friends...
1490
01:07:05,616 --> 01:07:06,089
...our entire lives.
1491
01:07:06,189 --> 01:07:07,124
We'll hang out every single summer.
1492
01:07:07,224 --> 01:07:09,026
We're not gonna be friends.
1493
01:07:09,126 --> 01:07:12,072
I canceled my entire trip
just to hang out with you...
1494
01:07:12,172 --> 01:07:13,397
...on our last weekend.
1495
01:07:13,497 --> 01:07:15,040
Boo-hoo.
You cancelled...
1496
01:07:15,140 --> 01:07:16,233
...your annual trip,
1497
01:07:16,333 --> 01:07:19,269
which you'll go on for
the rest of your life,
1498
01:07:19,369 --> 01:07:21,297
to hang out with someone who's not...
1499
01:07:21,397 --> 01:07:23,005
...gonna be in your life anymore.
1500
01:07:23,105 --> 01:07:24,541
I hope you have
a great time at Harvard...
1501
01:07:24,641 --> 01:07:26,209
... and you make something of yourself.
1502
01:07:26,309 --> 01:07:30,389
Because I'm gonna go
rot in my parents' basement.
1503
01:07:30,780 --> 01:07:32,049
Should've gone to fucking Disney World.
1504
01:07:32,149 --> 01:07:34,149
Yeah, you should've.
1505
01:09:06,308 --> 01:09:08,348
Good work, little fella.
1506
01:09:11,380 --> 01:09:14,516
Never bet against the Casino.
1507
01:09:24,193 --> 01:09:26,193
Good God.
1508
01:09:52,521 --> 01:09:53,457
Hey.
1509
01:09:53,557 --> 01:09:55,224
Jesus.
1510
01:09:55,324 --> 01:09:56,626
What are you doing here?
1511
01:09:56,726 --> 01:09:57,828
I never left.
1512
01:09:57,928 --> 01:10:00,328
And, in a way, I never will.
1513
01:10:00,330 --> 01:10:03,135
Well, until your parents find me.
1514
01:10:05,668 --> 01:10:08,171
Look, bud,
I promised your mom...
1515
01:10:08,271 --> 01:10:09,473
...that I'd try to scare the crap out of you...
1516
01:10:09,573 --> 01:10:12,142
...because she cuts me
a deal on my Valtrex.
1517
01:10:12,242 --> 01:10:13,919
But honestly,
if I had to do it...
1518
01:10:14,019 --> 01:10:14,845
...all over again,
1519
01:10:14,945 --> 01:10:17,445
I'd fucking ride, man.
1520
01:10:17,447 --> 01:10:19,660
I would ride that fucking bike every...
1521
01:10:19,760 --> 01:10:21,584
...fucking day of my life. Okay?
1522
01:10:21,684 --> 01:10:23,684
Okay? You feel me?
1523
01:10:24,553 --> 01:10:26,553
Come in again. Yeah.
1524
01:10:26,722 --> 01:10:29,757
No regrets. No regrets.
1525
01:10:30,759 --> 01:10:32,795
Except the herpes.
That I would not...
1526
01:10:32,895 --> 01:10:33,864
...do all over again.
1527
01:10:33,964 --> 01:10:36,864
So put a hat on your bat, okay?
1528
01:10:36,866 --> 01:10:39,756
Put a condom on your penis. Right?
1529
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:47,227
And I'm watching Aladdin
in the other room...
1530
01:10:47,327 --> 01:10:49,367
...if you're interested.
1531
01:10:49,912 --> 01:10:51,912
Starting it now.
1532
01:10:52,581 --> 01:10:55,485
I kind of need to know pretty quick.
1533
01:10:55,585 --> 01:10:58,724
Because of the seating arrangements.
1534
01:10:58,824 --> 01:11:00,824
Oh, I got a seat.
1535
01:11:15,804 --> 01:11:17,804
Hi.
1536
01:11:19,541 --> 01:11:20,777
Hey.
1537
01:11:20,877 --> 01:11:22,646
Your mom said you'd be here.
1538
01:11:22,746 --> 01:11:26,656
Yeah. Didn't want to
give diabetes the day off.
1539
01:11:28,817 --> 01:11:30,939
Look, man,
I'm really sorry...
1540
01:11:31,039 --> 01:11:33,039
...about yesterday.
1541
01:11:33,355 --> 01:11:36,075
You're right.
I was being a dick.
1542
01:11:36,626 --> 01:11:39,358
It's true,
we're not gonna hang out...
1543
01:11:39,458 --> 01:11:41,664
...as much this next year, but...
1544
01:11:41,764 --> 01:11:44,399
...you're still my best friend.
1545
01:11:44,900 --> 01:11:48,191
And there's still one last day of summer...
1546
01:11:48,291 --> 01:11:50,291
...we have together.
1547
01:11:51,373 --> 01:11:53,410
All right, this better be good, Harvard.
1548
01:11:53,510 --> 01:11:54,945
Start talking.
1549
01:11:55,045 --> 01:11:57,510
Okay, guys.
Thanks for coming.
1550
01:11:58,380 --> 01:12:00,109
Okay.
We are still going...
1551
01:12:00,209 --> 01:12:01,551
...to have this party.
1552
01:12:01,651 --> 01:12:04,772
For all the lifeguards
that have ever worked...
1553
01:12:04,872 --> 01:12:05,822
...at Great Kills.
1554
01:12:05,922 --> 01:12:07,558
This is our club, and
we can't let Chuck take...
1555
01:12:07,658 --> 01:12:08,225
...it away from us.
1556
01:12:08,325 --> 01:12:09,826
Yeah, fuck Chuck.
1557
01:12:09,926 --> 01:12:11,846
Well, if we show up,
he's just gonna...
1558
01:12:11,946 --> 01:12:12,695
...call the police.
1559
01:12:12,795 --> 01:12:14,898
Then we give him
just what the doctor ordered.
1560
01:12:14,998 --> 01:12:18,499
Jesus. What did the doctor order?
1561
01:12:18,501 --> 01:12:19,865
Oh, I just took,
like, every pill I could...
1562
01:12:19,965 --> 01:12:20,870
...find in my mom's office.
1563
01:12:20,970 --> 01:12:22,456
Plus the Vicodin that they gave me...
1564
01:12:22,556 --> 01:12:23,440
...for my wisdom teeth.
1565
01:12:23,540 --> 01:12:25,438
Wait. So what,
are we going to walk up...
1566
01:12:25,538 --> 01:12:26,743
...and be like, 'Take these,'
1567
01:12:26,843 --> 01:12:28,578
and he'll be like, 'Okay'?
1568
01:12:28,678 --> 01:12:30,513
Well, you know how you can
bake weed into brownies?
1569
01:12:30,613 --> 01:12:32,015
Yes.
1570
01:12:32,115 --> 01:12:34,783
What if we just made,
like, pill brownies?
1571
01:12:34,883 --> 01:12:36,883
Hmm.
1572
01:12:37,886 --> 01:12:40,421
That actually might work.
1573
01:12:40,423 --> 01:12:43,993
How do we get the pill
brownies into Chuck?
1574
01:12:47,429 --> 01:12:50,404
Why are you guys all looking at me?
1575
01:13:06,548 --> 01:13:10,753
Now, this is what we call,
in Staten Island, shopping.
1576
01:13:10,853 --> 01:13:12,954
There you go.
And that...
1577
01:13:14,089 --> 01:13:16,894
...is called a Staten Island key.
1578
01:13:18,862 --> 01:13:22,364
Steak, oh, you look delicious.
'Thanks, Chuck.'
1579
01:13:22,464 --> 01:13:24,589
Let's make you beautiful.
1580
01:13:34,610 --> 01:13:36,711
Chuck.
1581
01:13:36,713 --> 01:13:39,612
Oh. We're actually closed right now.
1582
01:13:39,712 --> 01:13:41,518
This is a private event.
1583
01:13:41,618 --> 01:13:45,620
Wow, that is some Speedo you got.
1584
01:13:45,622 --> 01:13:46,956
This is actually an apron.
That's the...
1585
01:13:47,056 --> 01:13:49,056
... Wow.
1586
01:13:58,802 --> 01:14:02,187
They should call you UPS,
because you are...
1587
01:14:02,287 --> 01:14:04,287
...carrying a package.
1588
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:07,640
Thank you.
I come from a long line...
1589
01:14:07,740 --> 01:14:09,378
...of big penises.
1590
01:14:09,478 --> 01:14:12,382
My dad had a big dick,
and my grandpa before him,
1591
01:14:12,482 --> 01:14:14,584
and his father before him...
1592
01:14:14,684 --> 01:14:17,914
...supposedly a very big dick as well.
1593
01:14:18,620 --> 01:14:19,956
Ugh, okay.
1594
01:14:20,056 --> 01:14:22,861
What does a girl wear to a party?
1595
01:14:27,996 --> 01:14:30,121
Probably not this. Right?
1596
01:14:36,638 --> 01:14:37,973
Listen,
I brought you something.
1597
01:14:38,073 --> 01:14:39,142
Ta-da.
1598
01:14:39,242 --> 01:14:40,577
Ms. Greeley.
1599
01:14:40,677 --> 01:14:45,813
Yeah. It's because you've been
doing such a terrific job.
1600
01:14:45,815 --> 01:14:47,884
Just a little thank you.
Well, thank you. It's...
1601
01:14:47,984 --> 01:14:49,519
... Try that.
All right.
1602
01:14:49,619 --> 01:14:51,950
Oh, yeah,
take the whole thing.
1603
01:14:52,050 --> 01:14:52,756
Oh, baby.
1604
01:14:52,856 --> 01:14:54,856
It's a bunch of powder.
1605
01:14:56,558 --> 01:14:57,794
Don't stop there.
1606
01:14:57,894 --> 01:14:59,829
Huh? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.
1607
01:14:59,929 --> 01:15:01,498
Hey, I got a good idea.
1608
01:15:01,598 --> 01:15:03,666
Hmm.
Why don't we go inside?
1609
01:15:03,766 --> 01:15:04,713
Oh, yeah.
We're just getting...
1610
01:15:04,813 --> 01:15:05,802
...a little too much sun. Right?
1611
01:15:05,902 --> 01:15:07,103
Okay, you're the guy.
1612
01:15:07,203 --> 01:15:09,704
I'm so sick and horny.
1613
01:15:20,249 --> 01:15:21,951
I feel good.
Whoo.
1614
01:15:22,051 --> 01:15:25,293
And also,
like, really, really bad.
1615
01:15:25,393 --> 01:15:25,622
Oh.
1616
01:15:25,722 --> 01:15:27,722
Coming through.
1617
01:15:28,724 --> 01:15:32,161
Congratulations, Wendell.
You are officially a thief.
1618
01:15:32,261 --> 01:15:34,261
Do not tell a soul.
1619
01:15:39,535 --> 01:15:41,638
Hey, Rachel.
Didn't notice you there.
1620
01:15:41,738 --> 01:15:44,628
Oh, wait, I did.
You're on my dick.
1621
01:15:51,613 --> 01:15:53,149
I've got to go to the bathroom real quick.
1622
01:15:53,249 --> 01:15:55,289
Oh, these are very good.
1623
01:15:59,254 --> 01:16:01,254
Come on, Chuck.
1624
01:16:21,777 --> 01:16:24,327
All right,
let's rock 'n' roll.
1625
01:16:36,658 --> 01:16:38,658
There's that road.
1626
01:16:56,211 --> 01:16:58,761
Come on, Chuck,
finish the job.
1627
01:16:59,047 --> 01:17:01,047
Kill 'em all.
1628
01:17:04,219 --> 01:17:06,589
I need everybody to
remain calm. Okay?
1629
01:17:06,689 --> 01:17:09,493
I am a future member
of the United States Navy.
1630
01:17:09,593 --> 01:17:09,926
Okay?
1631
01:17:10,026 --> 01:17:10,994
And I just...
1632
01:17:11,094 --> 01:17:13,094
... Holy shit.
1633
01:17:13,195 --> 01:17:15,363
Who are you?
Shut up.
1634
01:17:15,365 --> 01:17:17,734
Nah, you look great.
It's kind of nice.
1635
01:17:17,834 --> 01:17:19,702
You have a lot of cleavage out.
1636
01:17:19,802 --> 01:17:21,802
Skootch.
1637
01:17:32,748 --> 01:17:34,748
What's wrong?
1638
01:17:35,217 --> 01:17:36,753
Chuck probably changed the lock.
1639
01:17:36,853 --> 01:17:39,589
Hey. Goofus and Gabby,
we got 200 people here.
1640
01:17:39,689 --> 01:17:42,257
Can we speed this shit up please?
1641
01:17:42,357 --> 01:17:44,357
I finally got you all.
1642
01:17:45,727 --> 01:17:48,029
Like a fly to a spider.
1643
01:17:48,031 --> 01:17:50,355
One, two, three,
and we end this all.
1644
01:17:50,455 --> 01:17:50,667
Ow.
1645
01:17:50,767 --> 01:17:52,302
Oh, no, it's too much.
1646
01:17:52,402 --> 01:17:54,804
Frank, get your finger off my testicles.
1647
01:17:54,904 --> 01:17:57,794
I can't hold him.
Mary Ellen, help.
1648
01:17:58,874 --> 01:18:00,874
Finish it.
1649
01:18:09,017 --> 01:18:11,287
They don't respect you, Chuck.
1650
01:18:11,387 --> 01:18:13,189
No, Chuck.
Kill them.
1651
01:18:13,289 --> 01:18:15,329
You're secretly my hero.
1652
01:18:18,060 --> 01:18:19,329
Chuck is so sexy.
1653
01:18:19,429 --> 01:18:21,429
Thanks.
1654
01:18:27,903 --> 01:18:29,906
You've done well, my son.
1655
01:18:30,006 --> 01:18:32,675
You've brought the spider to the fly.
1656
01:18:32,775 --> 01:18:33,977
Thank you, Father.
1657
01:18:34,077 --> 01:18:37,845
Now choose a bride and bear us a child.
1658
01:18:37,847 --> 01:18:41,162
No need. I shall bear the child myself.
1659
01:18:46,054 --> 01:18:48,054
Yeah.
1660
01:18:52,094 --> 01:18:53,696
Oh, what's that, Chuck?
1661
01:18:53,796 --> 01:18:56,006
Chuck says, 'Let's party.'
1662
01:18:58,266 --> 01:19:00,468
Yeah, boy, get in there.
1663
01:19:00,470 --> 01:19:02,470
Get it up. Get it up.
1664
01:19:04,406 --> 01:19:07,108
What took you guys so long?
1665
01:19:11,146 --> 01:19:12,848
Whoo-hoo.
1666
01:19:12,948 --> 01:19:14,948
Whoo.
1667
01:19:30,832 --> 01:19:32,967
Let them remember.
1668
01:19:32,969 --> 01:19:34,404
This is Zion,
1669
01:19:34,504 --> 01:19:36,504
and we are not afraid.
1670
01:19:44,246 --> 01:19:46,246
Whoo.
1671
01:19:55,524 --> 01:19:57,524
Hey, what's up?
1672
01:20:14,943 --> 01:20:17,153
What type of shit is that?
1673
01:20:27,189 --> 01:20:29,325
All right, all right,
let's see some IDs.
1674
01:20:29,425 --> 01:20:32,230
Yeah, let's see some I-double-Ds.
1675
01:20:37,933 --> 01:20:40,470
Hey. Guys, if you're going to
have sex in the pool,
1676
01:20:40,570 --> 01:20:41,404
can you at least do it
over by the filter?
1677
01:20:41,504 --> 01:20:43,038
Sure.
1678
01:20:43,138 --> 01:20:45,138
Sinners.
1679
01:20:50,278 --> 01:20:51,280
Yeah.
1680
01:20:51,380 --> 01:20:53,380
What do I do?
1681
01:21:26,548 --> 01:21:27,450
Pulled it off.
1682
01:21:27,550 --> 01:21:29,550
Yay. Oh.
1683
01:21:29,618 --> 01:21:31,133
Dude,
we did it, man.
1684
01:21:31,233 --> 01:21:31,521
Hey.
1685
01:21:31,621 --> 01:21:32,922
Is Krystal coming?
1686
01:21:33,022 --> 01:21:35,210
It's cool, though.
She's out of...
1687
01:21:35,310 --> 01:21:36,859
...my league anyways.
1688
01:21:36,959 --> 01:21:39,162
You're the best, man.
She doesn't deserve you.
1689
01:21:39,262 --> 01:21:41,629
Honestly.
Thanks, man.
1690
01:21:41,631 --> 01:21:43,533
I think I'm gonna go for it with Rachel.
1691
01:21:43,633 --> 01:21:45,301
Really?
Yeah.
1692
01:21:45,401 --> 01:21:46,903
You should.
1693
01:21:47,003 --> 01:21:48,471
Oh, Rebecca, you should
totally go talk to him.
1694
01:21:48,571 --> 01:21:50,273
Frank hates me.
1695
01:21:50,373 --> 01:21:51,623
Okay. But that's obviously his weird way...
1696
01:21:51,723 --> 01:21:52,275
...of flirting with you.
1697
01:21:52,375 --> 01:21:53,409
He's a little weird.
1698
01:21:53,509 --> 01:21:54,544
He's funny, though.
1699
01:21:54,644 --> 01:21:56,677
So go talk to him.
1700
01:21:56,679 --> 01:21:59,063
And I am going to go find Skootch.
1701
01:21:59,163 --> 01:21:59,381
Ew.
1702
01:21:59,481 --> 01:22:01,481
Gross. He's like 40.
1703
01:22:02,117 --> 01:22:03,452
All right. Well,
better leave you to it.
1704
01:22:03,552 --> 01:22:05,552
Yeah, fuck off.
1705
01:22:05,587 --> 01:22:07,587
Good luck.
Thanks.
1706
01:22:09,124 --> 01:22:10,959
Okay.
1707
01:22:11,059 --> 01:22:13,694
Fuck. Fuck me.
Okay, I got this.
1708
01:22:17,432 --> 01:22:18,467
Hi. Hello.
1709
01:22:18,567 --> 01:22:19,468
Hi. Hey.
1710
01:22:19,568 --> 01:22:20,536
Hi.
1711
01:22:20,636 --> 01:22:22,636
Hey...
1712
01:22:23,004 --> 01:22:25,274
... Do you want to go smoke this weed?
1713
01:22:25,374 --> 01:22:27,374
Um...
1714
01:22:27,542 --> 01:22:28,611
... Sure.
1715
01:22:28,711 --> 01:22:30,345
Yeah?
Yeah.
1716
01:22:30,445 --> 01:22:32,214
Cool.
1717
01:22:32,314 --> 01:22:34,314
After you.
Okay.
1718
01:22:35,417 --> 01:22:37,451
Fuck. Fuck me.
1719
01:22:37,453 --> 01:22:38,952
Hey, you guys want to
hold a real police gun...
1720
01:22:39,052 --> 01:22:39,488
...for a second?
1721
01:22:39,588 --> 01:22:41,023
Don't worry,
the safety's on.
1722
01:22:41,123 --> 01:22:42,391
Wait.
1723
01:22:42,491 --> 01:22:44,616
Now it's on.
There you go.
1724
01:22:46,161 --> 01:22:47,196
Whoo-hoo.
1725
01:22:47,296 --> 01:22:50,356
Be careful.
Don't touch the shoulder.
1726
01:22:52,968 --> 01:22:54,968
I like your shed.
1727
01:22:55,603 --> 01:22:58,748
Thanks. Perks of
having the baby pool.
1728
01:23:20,061 --> 01:23:22,064
Wait, I thought you didn't even like me.
1729
01:23:22,164 --> 01:23:27,601
Yeah, you've been, like,
really mean to me forever.
1730
01:23:27,603 --> 01:23:30,242
Are you kidding?
I just thought
1731
01:23:30,342 --> 01:23:31,373
I was flirting.
1732
01:23:31,473 --> 01:23:33,473
Really?
Yeah.
1733
01:23:34,175 --> 01:23:37,320
I thought I made that really obvious.
1734
01:23:41,049 --> 01:23:44,073
It's crazy to think that we're rocketing...
1735
01:23:44,173 --> 01:23:46,321
...through space, you know?
1736
01:23:46,421 --> 01:23:49,406
It's like we're moving at a mile...
1737
01:23:49,506 --> 01:23:51,506
Million...
1738
01:23:53,528 --> 01:23:55,528
... Mmm.
1739
01:23:56,232 --> 01:23:58,640
I was going to get a drink, I think.
1740
01:23:58,740 --> 01:23:59,936
Do you want to...
1741
01:24:00,036 --> 01:24:01,703
... Uh, yeah.
1742
01:24:01,803 --> 01:24:03,803
Yeah, let's do it.
1743
01:24:04,539 --> 01:24:06,539
Anthony.
1744
01:24:06,574 --> 01:24:09,209
Who deserves a thank you?
1745
01:24:09,211 --> 01:24:12,526
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you.
1746
01:24:13,581 --> 01:24:16,319
Little Mermaid,
would you get me...
1747
01:24:16,419 --> 01:24:18,419
...a refill, please?
1748
01:24:18,653 --> 01:24:20,990
Oh, she's so cute.
She's so cute.
1749
01:24:21,090 --> 01:24:22,795
She's very cute.
Yeah.
1750
01:24:22,895 --> 01:24:23,291
Yeah.
1751
01:24:23,391 --> 01:24:24,560
Oh, look at these.
1752
01:24:24,660 --> 01:24:27,394
Now that is a Navy chest.
1753
01:24:27,396 --> 01:24:29,530
Are you kidding me?
1754
01:24:29,532 --> 01:24:31,418
Check this out.
What do you think...
1755
01:24:31,518 --> 01:24:32,600
...about these, hmm?
1756
01:24:32,700 --> 01:24:34,700
Navy chest?
1757
01:24:35,670 --> 01:24:37,373
I'm a fucking idiot.
1758
01:24:37,473 --> 01:24:39,473
There you go.
1759
01:24:49,551 --> 01:24:51,551
Hi.
1760
01:24:51,686 --> 01:24:53,686
You came.
1761
01:24:54,289 --> 01:24:57,316
Yeah. I couldn't miss
the biggest pool party...
1762
01:24:57,416 --> 01:24:58,461
...of the summer.
1763
01:24:58,561 --> 01:25:00,658
I did have to use a rival rickshaw company,
1764
01:25:00,758 --> 01:25:01,097
though.
1765
01:25:01,197 --> 01:25:02,494
I'm telling you,
those other guys,
1766
01:25:02,594 --> 01:25:03,432
they're not authentic.
1767
01:25:03,532 --> 01:25:05,532
That's what I hear.
1768
01:25:06,201 --> 01:25:08,336
You look really beautiful tonight.
1769
01:25:08,436 --> 01:25:09,705
Oh.
1770
01:25:09,805 --> 01:25:12,475
We are having fun now.
You, you're so romantic.
1771
01:25:12,575 --> 01:25:13,743
I love it.
1772
01:25:13,843 --> 01:25:15,544
Whoa.
Let's get comfy here.
1773
01:25:15,644 --> 01:25:16,612
That's nice, right?
You okay?
1774
01:25:16,712 --> 01:25:18,180
Kinky.
1775
01:25:18,280 --> 01:25:20,583
I'm gonna be right back, okay?
1776
01:25:20,683 --> 01:25:22,651
You better be.
Because I got...
1777
01:25:22,751 --> 01:25:24,053
...a sitter for tonight.
1778
01:25:24,153 --> 01:25:26,618
Right.
You're sitting on this.
1779
01:25:27,355 --> 01:25:28,758
Wow, okay...
1780
01:25:28,858 --> 01:25:30,760
... Balls on the bull's-eye.
1781
01:25:30,860 --> 01:25:33,240
Hang tight.
Bye, Ms. Greeley.
1782
01:25:35,263 --> 01:25:37,133
Should I get a condom?
Yeah.
1783
01:25:37,233 --> 01:25:38,234
Yeah?
Yeah.
1784
01:25:38,334 --> 01:25:40,334
Okay.
1785
01:25:42,303 --> 01:25:44,513
Here it is,
totally sealed.
1786
01:25:45,273 --> 01:25:48,333
Wait, what is this?
Is this a Magnum?
1787
01:25:48,710 --> 01:25:50,179
Let me see.
1788
01:25:50,279 --> 01:25:51,713
Oh, yeah, I guess.
The ushe.
1789
01:25:51,813 --> 01:25:53,249
Oh, um...
1790
01:25:53,349 --> 01:25:54,483
...I don't think I can do this.
1791
01:25:54,583 --> 01:25:55,785
What? Really?
1792
01:25:55,885 --> 01:25:58,943
Because I don't want to have sex...
1793
01:25:59,043 --> 01:26:01,090
...with a weird giant dick.
1794
01:26:01,190 --> 01:26:03,176
Whoa, I don't have a giant dick.
1795
01:26:03,276 --> 01:26:04,326
I have a big dick.
1796
01:26:04,426 --> 01:26:06,729
I don't have a big dick.
I have a very average dick.
1797
01:26:06,829 --> 01:26:09,065
I just like a little extra room.
1798
01:26:09,165 --> 01:26:10,566
It's like baggy pants.
1799
01:26:10,666 --> 01:26:12,028
Gross.
No, it's not.
1800
01:26:12,128 --> 01:26:13,803
Okay, look, look, look.
1801
01:26:13,903 --> 01:26:15,981
You're going to like the way it looks,
1802
01:26:16,081 --> 01:26:16,838
I guarantee it.
1803
01:26:16,938 --> 01:26:19,173
Are you sure?
Yes.
1804
01:26:25,413 --> 01:26:27,413
Mary Ellen?
1805
01:26:28,249 --> 01:26:31,139
Did you have fun with Ms. Greeley?
1806
01:26:40,228 --> 01:26:42,228
Took you long enough.
1807
01:27:05,987 --> 01:27:07,123
Are you going to take your shirt off?
1808
01:27:07,223 --> 01:27:08,624
No, I'm okay.
1809
01:27:08,724 --> 01:27:10,526
I want you to.
Why?
1810
01:27:10,626 --> 01:27:14,196
Because I like your body.
I want to see it.
1811
01:27:14,295 --> 01:27:16,295
Really?
Yeah.
1812
01:27:17,899 --> 01:27:19,744
See?
That's much better.
1813
01:27:19,844 --> 01:27:21,844
Yeah?
1814
01:27:22,737 --> 01:27:24,737
Cannonball.
1815
01:27:29,577 --> 01:27:31,577
Oh, I can't stop.
1816
01:27:38,686 --> 01:27:40,686
Rachel.
What?
1817
01:27:41,556 --> 01:27:43,556
Rachel.
1818
01:27:43,558 --> 01:27:45,558
What?
1819
01:27:46,561 --> 01:27:47,929
What?
1820
01:27:48,029 --> 01:27:50,664
Did you just call me Rachel?
1821
01:27:50,666 --> 01:27:52,666
No.
Are you kidding me?
1822
01:27:54,002 --> 01:27:56,002
No. That was a joke.
1823
01:28:05,813 --> 01:28:06,949
Where's Danny Campbell?
1824
01:28:07,049 --> 01:28:09,184
I don't know Danny Campbell.
1825
01:28:09,284 --> 01:28:10,886
Rebecca. Wait.
1826
01:28:10,986 --> 01:28:12,655
It's perfect.
It was a joke.
1827
01:28:12,755 --> 01:28:14,190
Everyone loves Rachel.
1828
01:28:14,290 --> 01:28:15,925
No, they...
Well, okay.
1829
01:28:16,025 --> 01:28:17,493
Where's Danny Campbell?
1830
01:28:17,593 --> 01:28:19,395
Hey, you.
Where's Danny Campbell?
1831
01:28:19,495 --> 01:28:21,495
Oh, shit.
1832
01:28:21,729 --> 01:28:23,265
We have to go.
1833
01:28:23,365 --> 01:28:26,533
Rebecca. Rebecca. Rebecca.
1834
01:28:26,535 --> 01:28:28,470
Hey. Where's Danny Campbell?
1835
01:28:28,570 --> 01:28:29,403
I don't know.
Where are your...
1836
01:28:29,503 --> 01:28:30,306
...fucking manners, asshole?
1837
01:28:30,406 --> 01:28:33,428
Whoa, hold on. Wait a minute.
This is my dawg
1838
01:28:33,528 --> 01:28:34,776
Pixy Stix right here.
1839
01:28:34,876 --> 01:28:36,612
Hey, police. Freeze.
1840
01:28:36,712 --> 01:28:37,746
What the fuck is this?
1841
01:28:37,846 --> 01:28:39,315
Everybody just chill out.
1842
01:28:39,415 --> 01:28:40,683
Who the fuck is this dude?
1843
01:28:40,783 --> 01:28:42,818
Yo, that's Victor.
He's maintenance.
1844
01:28:42,918 --> 01:28:46,174
All I know is that I've got a lady situation...
1845
01:28:46,274 --> 01:28:48,424
...that's exploding right now.
1846
01:28:48,524 --> 01:28:49,858
And your whole
'Where's Danny?' routine...
1847
01:28:49,958 --> 01:28:51,493
... is just not working for me.
1848
01:28:51,593 --> 01:28:52,672
I have to go fucking deal with her.
1849
01:28:52,772 --> 01:28:53,329
Get the fuck back.
1850
01:28:53,429 --> 01:28:54,430
Whoa, whoa.
I'm right here.
1851
01:28:54,530 --> 01:28:55,598
Okay, Danny's right here.
1852
01:28:55,698 --> 01:28:58,254
You thought you were
sending it to her, but...
1853
01:28:58,354 --> 01:28:59,835
...you sent it to me instead.
1854
01:28:59,935 --> 01:29:01,003
Mr. Manicucci...
1855
01:29:01,103 --> 01:29:02,571
Leo, I...
1856
01:29:02,671 --> 01:29:04,821
...I don't know what you
think my intentions...
1857
01:29:04,921 --> 01:29:05,975
...are for your daughter,
1858
01:29:06,075 --> 01:29:07,676
but I swear I am a gentleman.
1859
01:29:07,776 --> 01:29:08,978
You're a gentleman?
1860
01:29:09,078 --> 01:29:11,981
You text her a picture of your dick.
1861
01:29:12,081 --> 01:29:14,783
What? Why would I send you
a picture of a dick?
1862
01:29:14,883 --> 01:29:16,452
I would never...
Look at this.
1863
01:29:16,552 --> 01:29:18,428
Dad, stop.
He would never...
1864
01:29:18,528 --> 01:29:19,688
...send that to me.
1865
01:29:19,788 --> 01:29:22,558
Okay. We're gonna settle this
once and for all right now.
1866
01:29:22,658 --> 01:29:25,803
We'll find out whose picture this is.
1867
01:29:39,674 --> 01:29:41,674
This way.
1868
01:29:41,943 --> 01:29:43,977
Rebecca. Rebecca.
1869
01:29:43,979 --> 01:29:45,979
Go back to partying.
1870
01:29:46,147 --> 01:29:47,850
That's correct.
1871
01:29:47,950 --> 01:29:51,265
Teenagers, please resume your drinking.
1872
01:29:51,953 --> 01:29:53,022
And a party it is.
1873
01:29:53,122 --> 01:29:55,122
People are crazy, man.
1874
01:30:11,873 --> 01:30:13,873
Hey.
1875
01:30:14,108 --> 01:30:16,108
Hey, Leo.
1876
01:30:16,511 --> 01:30:18,845
How's your daughter?
1877
01:30:18,847 --> 01:30:19,866
Come on.
We're gonna go...
1878
01:30:19,966 --> 01:30:20,849
...for a little ride, Chuck.
1879
01:30:20,949 --> 01:30:22,684
Yeah, hop in.
1880
01:30:22,784 --> 01:30:24,784
Oh.
1881
01:30:25,086 --> 01:30:27,389
I call shotgun then,
all right, boys?
1882
01:30:27,489 --> 01:30:29,625
Look at you two.
You smell great.
1883
01:30:29,725 --> 01:30:31,459
Dad.
1884
01:30:31,559 --> 01:30:33,559
What are you doing?
1885
01:30:35,029 --> 01:30:38,429
Make sure you have her home by midnight.
1886
01:30:40,935 --> 01:30:43,637
He's just kidding.
1887
01:30:43,639 --> 01:30:46,529
I don't have to be home till 1:00.
1888
01:30:48,209 --> 01:30:51,439
Hey, guys,
you guys got to see my dick.
1889
01:30:52,180 --> 01:30:54,390
Hey. Do you want to maybe,
1890
01:30:54,715 --> 01:30:57,350
I don't know,
go somewhere else?
1891
01:30:57,752 --> 01:30:58,887
Yeah.
1892
01:30:58,987 --> 01:31:00,987
Rebecca.
1893
01:31:01,756 --> 01:31:03,756
Rebecca.
1894
01:31:03,891 --> 01:31:07,029
Rebecca, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1895
01:31:07,129 --> 01:31:09,129
Okay? I'm really sorry.
1896
01:31:09,630 --> 01:31:10,933
Ow.
1897
01:31:11,033 --> 01:31:12,634
Okay, I deserved that.
1898
01:31:12,734 --> 01:31:14,502
Okay.
1899
01:31:14,602 --> 01:31:16,602
I also deserved that.
1900
01:31:16,737 --> 01:31:19,041
Aah. Okay, no one
deserves that. Oh, man.
1901
01:31:19,141 --> 01:31:21,377
Being a twin sucks.
You know that?
1902
01:31:21,477 --> 01:31:23,078
Yes. I understand what it's like...
1903
01:31:23,178 --> 01:31:24,913
... to be compared to other people.
1904
01:31:25,013 --> 01:31:27,647
Being fat sucks, too.
1905
01:31:27,649 --> 01:31:29,518
So does staying home from college,
1906
01:31:29,618 --> 01:31:32,441
especially when your best friend's...
1907
01:31:32,541 --> 01:31:34,541
...going to Harvard.
1908
01:31:34,555 --> 01:31:35,991
You're not fat.
1909
01:31:36,091 --> 01:31:38,889
And you're really,
really beautiful.
1910
01:31:38,989 --> 01:31:40,528
You're gorgeous.
1911
01:31:40,628 --> 01:31:43,132
And I did think you were Rachel at first.
1912
01:31:43,232 --> 01:31:44,999
But I'm really happy you're not.
1913
01:31:45,099 --> 01:31:47,099
And honestly,
1914
01:31:47,835 --> 01:31:51,139
I feel really lucky that
I even got to kiss you.
1915
01:31:51,239 --> 01:31:53,239
Honestly?
1916
01:32:02,116 --> 01:32:04,116
A thousand percent.
1917
01:32:06,721 --> 01:32:08,487
I'm really hungry.
Could we go back...
1918
01:32:08,587 --> 01:32:09,191
...to the party?
1919
01:32:09,291 --> 01:32:11,758
Yeah, let's go.
1920
01:32:14,128 --> 01:32:15,763
Rachel...
1921
01:32:15,863 --> 01:32:17,065
... I'm joking.
1922
01:32:17,165 --> 01:32:19,165
You better be joking.
1923
01:32:33,114 --> 01:32:35,815
Danny, this is beautiful.
1924
01:32:36,751 --> 01:32:38,086
My dad used to take me here...
1925
01:32:38,186 --> 01:32:39,855
...when I was little to look at the stars,
1926
01:32:39,955 --> 01:32:42,057
but you can't really see them
because of the city.
1927
01:32:42,157 --> 01:32:45,914
all the lights on the bridge were little stars...
1928
01:32:46,014 --> 01:32:47,495
...strung together.
1929
01:32:47,595 --> 01:32:50,400
Wait, um, how old were you again?
1930
01:32:55,870 --> 01:32:58,843
You're kind of funny,
for a kid who's...
1931
01:32:58,943 --> 01:33:00,943
...going to Harvard.
1932
01:33:01,042 --> 01:33:02,878
I'm a little jealous.
1933
01:33:02,978 --> 01:33:04,713
At least you're getting out of here.
1934
01:33:04,813 --> 01:33:06,127
You're doing something exciting...
1935
01:33:06,227 --> 01:33:06,748
...with your life.
1936
01:33:06,848 --> 01:33:10,584
And I would kill to get off this island.
1937
01:33:10,586 --> 01:33:12,750
You can't leave.
You're the Queen...
1938
01:33:12,850 --> 01:33:13,888
...of Staten Island.
1939
01:33:13,988 --> 01:33:16,859
Do you know how horrible that sounds?
1940
01:33:16,959 --> 01:33:18,593
I mean, would you want to be the
1941
01:33:18,693 --> 01:33:19,695
King of New Jersey?
1942
01:33:19,795 --> 01:33:23,960
I would, but they keep
electing Bruce Springsteen.
1943
01:33:28,736 --> 01:33:31,640
I feel like you're the kind of girl...
1944
01:33:31,740 --> 01:33:35,225
...who wants to marry me,
but not kiss me.
1945
01:33:37,845 --> 01:33:40,215
Well, I feel like you're the kind of guy...
1946
01:33:40,315 --> 01:33:41,717
...that wants to kiss me,
1947
01:33:41,817 --> 01:33:44,282
but doesn't want to marry me.
1948
01:33:46,387 --> 01:33:50,669
What if we pretended to be
different kinds of people...
1949
01:33:50,769 --> 01:33:52,769
...for one night?
1950
01:33:54,895 --> 01:33:56,895
Okay.
1951
01:34:10,845 --> 01:34:14,214
You know we're not
having sex, right?
1952
01:34:14,216 --> 01:34:16,434
Oh, I couldn't.
I'd be thinking about...
1953
01:34:16,534 --> 01:34:18,119
...your dad the whole time.
1954
01:34:18,219 --> 01:34:20,219
That's disgusting.
1955
01:35:03,464 --> 01:35:05,033
Aw, Frankie.
1956
01:35:05,133 --> 01:35:07,133
Skootch.
1957
01:35:07,735 --> 01:35:10,540
Hey, man,
I got something for you.
1958
01:35:12,039 --> 01:35:14,240
What? Seriously?
1959
01:35:14,242 --> 01:35:15,944
Yeah, you earned it, man.
1960
01:35:16,044 --> 01:35:20,209
I mean, even a boner rescue
is technically a save.
1961
01:35:20,449 --> 01:35:23,099
you could totally work here again...
1962
01:35:23,199 --> 01:35:25,199
...next summer.
1963
01:35:25,319 --> 01:35:27,121
That's awesome, man.
1964
01:35:27,221 --> 01:35:29,686
Welcome to the big pool, kid.
1965
01:35:32,326 --> 01:35:34,326
What are you gonna do?
1966
01:35:35,463 --> 01:35:37,966
Probably just gonna stroll home.
1967
01:35:38,066 --> 01:35:40,066
Finish this beer.
1968
01:35:40,267 --> 01:35:43,069
Beyond that,
I have no idea.
1969
01:35:47,508 --> 01:35:49,633
You're the best, Skootch.
1970
01:36:09,897 --> 01:36:11,099
Uh-oh.
1971
01:36:11,199 --> 01:36:13,433
Look at what we have here.
1972
01:36:13,435 --> 01:36:14,883
Oh, my God.
That looks like...
1973
01:36:14,983 --> 01:36:16,371
...a number-one party dude.
1974
01:36:16,471 --> 01:36:18,471
Shirt wide open.
1975
01:36:19,440 --> 01:36:21,109
It was a good night, huh?
1976
01:36:21,209 --> 01:36:23,044
Mmm-hmm.
1977
01:36:23,144 --> 01:36:25,144
Yes, it was.
1978
01:36:28,883 --> 01:36:31,943
Come. I'll walk you home. All right?
1979
01:36:33,420 --> 01:36:35,420
Hey.
1980
01:36:35,422 --> 01:36:37,462
Make us proud,
you idiot.
1981
01:36:38,292 --> 01:36:39,428
Bye, Danny.
1982
01:36:39,528 --> 01:36:41,196
You know what?
Give it a while...
1983
01:36:41,296 --> 01:36:42,747
...before you tell anyone at Harvard...
1984
01:36:42,847 --> 01:36:43,899
...you're from Staten Island.
1985
01:36:43,999 --> 01:36:45,701
Okay?
- Yeah, don't do that.
1986
01:36:45,801 --> 01:36:47,703
Good luck with the exam.
1987
01:36:47,803 --> 01:36:49,871
Thank you, man.
I appreciate that.
1988
01:36:49,971 --> 01:36:53,407
You know, I'm trying to be
more eer-uh-dy-tee.
1989
01:36:53,507 --> 01:36:56,131
Oh, my God.
That was really close...
1990
01:36:56,231 --> 01:36:57,812
...to being a real word.
1991
01:36:57,912 --> 01:36:59,912
How about that?
1992
01:37:00,247 --> 01:37:01,717
Peace.
See ya.
1993
01:37:01,817 --> 01:37:03,817
Bye.
Later, guys.
1994
01:37:07,021 --> 01:37:09,401
I'll give you guys a minute.
1995
01:37:09,857 --> 01:37:12,322
I'll meet you out front.
Okay.
1996
01:37:16,330 --> 01:37:18,330
That's a thing.
1997
01:37:20,167 --> 01:37:21,136
Congrats.
1998
01:37:21,236 --> 01:37:23,236
Thank you.
1999
01:37:24,471 --> 01:37:27,021
So, did you end up having sex?
2000
01:37:28,242 --> 01:37:29,845
No. You?
2001
01:37:29,945 --> 01:37:31,079
Yes.
2002
01:37:31,179 --> 01:37:33,213
What?
Yes, I know.
2003
01:37:33,215 --> 01:37:35,215
Fuck.
I'm sorry.
2004
01:37:35,616 --> 01:37:37,486
I realize that that's something we were...
2005
01:37:37,586 --> 01:37:39,921
...supposed to do together but separate.
2006
01:37:40,021 --> 01:37:41,822
You know, it's fine.
2007
01:37:41,922 --> 01:37:44,457
I'm happy for you.
2008
01:37:44,459 --> 01:37:46,795
If it makes you feel any better,
2009
01:37:46,895 --> 01:37:48,062
that's Rebecca.
2010
01:37:48,162 --> 01:37:49,530
Wow.
2011
01:37:49,630 --> 01:37:51,399
Really?
Yep.
2012
01:37:51,499 --> 01:37:53,468
They're identical twins,
did you know that?
2013
01:37:53,568 --> 01:37:55,646
I always thought Rebecca was...
2014
01:37:55,746 --> 01:37:57,172
...the cutest of the two.
2015
01:37:57,272 --> 01:37:59,272
Yeah. Me, too.
2016
01:38:07,248 --> 01:38:08,997
You know,
I'm going to...
2017
01:38:09,097 --> 01:38:11,097
...miss you, Frank.
2018
01:38:12,086 --> 01:38:14,086
I know.
2019
01:38:15,623 --> 01:38:18,126
I'll come up every other weekend.
2020
01:38:18,226 --> 01:38:20,495
You'll introduce me
to your Harvard friends and...
2021
01:38:20,595 --> 01:38:23,910
... I'll reintroduce you to my parents.
2022
01:38:25,199 --> 01:38:28,429
This isn't the end of Frank and Danny.
2023
01:38:28,936 --> 01:38:30,504
We're still best friends.
2024
01:38:30,604 --> 01:38:32,604
We are.
2025
01:38:32,640 --> 01:38:34,640
Come here.
2026
01:39:20,587 --> 01:39:22,587
There he is.
Hey.
2027
01:39:25,426 --> 01:39:27,806
Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm so late.
2028
01:39:30,431 --> 01:39:32,267
How was Disney?
2029
01:39:32,367 --> 01:39:33,368
It was great.
2030
01:39:33,468 --> 01:39:35,468
It was very fun.
2031
01:39:35,736 --> 01:39:38,204
I'm really sorry I missed it.
2032
01:39:38,206 --> 01:39:41,436
No, I'm sorry.
I overreacted. I just...
2033
01:39:42,042 --> 01:39:44,277
... All right.
Oh.
2034
01:39:44,279 --> 01:39:45,380
Oh, my baby.
2035
01:39:45,480 --> 01:39:46,481
I'm gonna miss you.
2036
01:39:46,581 --> 01:39:48,316
Me, too.
2037
01:39:48,416 --> 01:39:50,089
Are you sure you still want us...
2038
01:39:50,189 --> 01:39:51,086
...to drive you up?
2039
01:39:51,186 --> 01:39:53,034
'Cause if you want to go alone,
2040
01:39:53,134 --> 01:39:54,322
we understand that.
2041
01:39:54,422 --> 01:39:57,292
I'd really like you guys to drive me up.
2042
01:39:57,392 --> 01:40:01,642
Good, because we were
going to regardless. Come on.
2043
01:40:02,196 --> 01:40:05,001
One sec.
I need to grab something.
2044
01:40:06,400 --> 01:40:08,400
Hurry.
2045
01:40:10,037 --> 01:40:14,542
I can't believe he said yes.
Now we have to drive him.
2046
01:40:28,222 --> 01:40:30,223
Got everything?
Yep.
2047
01:40:31,258 --> 01:40:32,527
All right.
2048
01:40:32,627 --> 01:40:34,627
And we're off.
2049
01:42:30,577 --> 01:42:32,577
Yo, check this out.
2050
01:43:11,752 --> 01:43:14,420
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wassup?
2051
01:43:14,422 --> 01:43:16,290
Wassup, baby?
2052
01:43:16,390 --> 01:43:19,325
What you got?
2053
01:43:19,327 --> 01:43:20,728
Wassup? What you got?
What you got?
2054
01:43:20,828 --> 01:43:22,828
Come on, Pixy.
2055
01:43:50,857 --> 01:43:52,959
Wait, wait, wait.
2056
01:44:03,237 --> 01:44:05,237
He's got a gun.
2057
01:44:06,740 --> 01:44:08,476
Oh, shit.
2058
01:44:08,576 --> 01:44:10,678
Give me that.
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
2059
01:44:10,778 --> 01:44:13,246
Never.
Sorry.
2060
01:44:14,014 --> 01:44:16,564
We still loved the rap,
though.
2061
01:44:17,985 --> 01:44:20,720
Pixy. Pixy. Pixy. Pixy.
140970
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