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Once upon a time...
2
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:07,663
about three months ago
on a Tuesday...
3
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,133
this thing happened...
4
00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:11,603
in a peaceful, tucked-away
part of the Bronx...
5
00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:13,265
called City lsland...
6
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,240
a place that's many things.
7
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,175
To the sailor, it's sailing.
8
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,768
To the fisherman, it's fishing.
9
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,781
To the soul searcher,
it's soul searching.
10
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:25,273
That's me! Mona Barcavella,
psychic herbalist.
11
00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:30,119
l'm doing my dance to conjure up
a good summer tourist trade...
12
00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:33,785
but because City lsland
is home to ltalian Americans...
13
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,819
to them, it's eating.
14
00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:40,629
Here food is king,
and no place was more beloved...
15
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,067
than the Prince Rosario
House of Cappamezza...
16
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,300
Gourmet Catering
and Original Wedding Designs...
17
00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:49,308
ruled by
Sadie and Mike Cappamezza...
18
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,969
More hot pepper!
19
00:01:51,010 --> 00:01:54,138
...whose Sicilian cooking
was known for hot colors...
20
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:58,810
spicy sauces,
and jumbo portions.
21
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,821
Then one day,
there opened across the bay...
22
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,824
the Royal House of Malacici
of Florence...
23
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:08,316
Continental Caterers
and Wedding Couturiers...
24
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:11,262
owned by real blue bloods
from ltaly...
25
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,765
Count and Contessa Malacici...
26
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:18,760
and they brought City lslanders
their Northern ltalian cuisine:
27
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,273
dainty, low-fat portions...
28
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:25,300
pastel colors, subtle flavors.
29
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:28,774
lt was inevitable...
30
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:32,774
between the two families
there would be bad blood.
31
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:36,778
Shakespeare once said,
''Hey! What's in a name?''
32
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,791
But he was wrong...
33
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,293
because Cappamezza
means ''half a head''...
34
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:45,559
and Malacici means ''bad beans.''
35
00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:48,829
The story
begins Fourth of July...
36
00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:51,063
when our local church
was about to put on...
37
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,197
its annual amateur benefit...
38
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:57,073
What if her eyes were there,
they in her head?
39
00:02:57,110 --> 00:03:00,341
The brightness of her cheek
would shame those stars.
40
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,644
O, that l were
a glove upon that hand...
41
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:05,082
that l might touch that cheek.
42
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,143
Which brings us
to our heroine...
43
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,655
my best customer,
Sadie Cappamezza...
44
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,054
Ah, me.
45
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,081
You give me so much more
than lsabel Fasuli.
46
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,253
She weighs
50 pounds more than me.
47
00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:17,092
How can l believe that's Juliet?
48
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:20,065
You got to make believe
you love her, too.
49
00:03:20,099 --> 00:03:24,763
And the joy of her life,
Rosario Cappamezza...
50
00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:27,773
the prince of the Prince Rosario
House of Cappamezza...
51
00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:30,605
Gourmet Catering
and Original Wedding Designs.
52
00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:31,940
Rudy, give me a break!
53
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:34,776
-l'm giving you 2/3 off!
-lt's still not enough.
54
00:03:34,814 --> 00:03:36,076
Give it to her for cost.
55
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:37,912
Mary, the food
is for the church benefit.
56
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,044
l want a better price
than cost.
57
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,781
Better than cost?
We should take a loss?
58
00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:46,019
When you give to God,
you get a huge tax deduction.
59
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,583
All right, half cost.
60
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,424
You're only halfway to heaven.
61
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:52,090
Go to hell!
62
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:54,292
All right,
you get it for nothing.
63
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:56,199
Here's $10 for the church.
64
00:03:57,503 --> 00:03:58,970
Good morning, Dr. Rondino.
65
00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,472
Good morning, Mrs. Rondino.
66
00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:02,974
-Good morning.
-l break both arms.
67
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,307
My son, the dottore,
he fix them.
68
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,813
l never saw anyone
so accidental-prone...
69
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,781
like Mrs. Rondino.
70
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:12,250
Her son is the most eligible
doctor in the neighborhood...
71
00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,412
but her broken bones
keeps him home.
72
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:17,116
Even Mother Teresa would call
a mother like that...
73
00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:18,748
a bossy scuccamend.
74
00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:21,760
Mrs. Rondino is not as dumb
as she looks.
75
00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:24,592
Married sons, they turn on
their mothers now because...
76
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:27,122
daughter-in-laws, nothing
is sacred to them anymore.
77
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:30,761
My son Johnny
married this mamarel Louise.
78
00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:31,963
Sweet girl.
79
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,700
Sweet?
l said to her one day...
80
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:36,903
''Would you mind carrying
my groceries, please?''
81
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,274
You know what she said to me?
82
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:41,075
''Carry your own
friggin' bags, bitch.''
83
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,809
Oh, my God.
84
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,510
l look over at my son Johnny...
85
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:47,018
and he's looking at her
like this.
86
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,783
My Rosario, he would
never ever treat me like that...
87
00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:52,347
when he's old enough
to get married.
88
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:02,327
Taking anybody to
the charity ball after the show?
89
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,336
l'm helping Pop with the pasta.
90
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:07,669
How about l call
Angela Mercandante for you?
91
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,299
Ma, don't start with me.
92
00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:11,401
What about l mention you
to Cathy Augustino's mother?
93
00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:13,002
-Ma!
-Watch out!
94
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,014
ldiot! You cut me off!
95
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,211
We'll put you out of business,
you Sicilian swamp guinea!
96
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,947
l got the right of way!
You'll put your sister's ass...
97
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,852
out of business,
you Florentine mountain wop!
98
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,220
Rosario!
99
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,761
l'm sorry l cursed, Ma...
100
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,195
but if these Malacicis
think they're so good...
101
00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:33,630
how come
they didn't stay in ltaly?
102
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,759
Rosario,
forget about the Malacicis.
103
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:38,771
You just think about
playing Romeo tonight...
104
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,273
that you're going to be
even better this year...
105
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:45,300
than you was last year
as Pinocchio.
106
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:54,814
Mona!
107
00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:57,478
Hi!
108
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:03,757
This Malacici crisis
is making me crazy.
109
00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:06,162
We're in debt up to here
from expanding...
110
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,461
and we may lose
the Fredericos...
111
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,297
the biggest wedding
of the season...
112
00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:10,734
to these intruders!
113
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:12,738
l brought sfogliatelle.
114
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,262
My favorite!
115
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:17,910
l don't know if
my business can handle...
116
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:20,174
this kind of competition,
you know?
117
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:23,011
l haven't lost one pound
on my new diet.
118
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,246
And my husband hasn't
made love to me in weeks.
119
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:28,753
What am l going to do, Mona?
120
00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:30,415
ls there another woman?
121
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:34,256
Blessed Roscoe says...
122
00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:37,751
he sees your business
prospering.
123
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:40,766
The Blessed Roscoe says...
124
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,268
keep looking at the sunny side.
125
00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:45,429
Good. Good.
126
00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:47,530
Who's the Blessed Roscoe?
127
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,939
My new guide.
128
00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:52,035
What happened to the Angel Vito?
129
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,774
His work was done
on City lsland.
130
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:57,749
He moved on to another psychic
named Shirley Ballucas...
131
00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,809
in Bayonne, New Jersey.
132
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:05,780
But the Blessed Roscoe
is a powerful presence!
133
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:07,793
ln the 17th Century...
134
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:11,729
when his eyes were gouged
and his fingers chopped off...
135
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:14,733
and he was burnt at the stake...
136
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:19,727
he smiled and said,
''Don't feel guilty.''
137
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:23,264
That's why he's known
as the Merry Martyr.
138
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:25,800
You tell him
l'm really pleased to meet him.
139
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,746
The Blessed Roscoe
knows you are.
140
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:33,241
Here. Wear this rose oil
when you're meeting customers.
141
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:36,016
The money will come floating in.
142
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:38,148
About your diet...
143
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,751
maybe you're having trouble
because you're afraid...
144
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:46,163
like l am, that every man
wants me sexually.
145
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,292
About your husband...
146
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,494
Yeah?
147
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:51,264
The Blessed Roscoe says...
148
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,772
there's no other woman
in his life.
149
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,774
Who's Fidella?
150
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:59,300
That's our cat.
He plays with her a lot.
151
00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:01,779
That will taper off.
152
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,782
Here.
153
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,182
Burn these in your bedroom...
154
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:09,552
and he'll want lust from you.
155
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:13,025
The Blessed Roscoe says
it will be heartfelt but quick.
156
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:15,527
Look, it's a start.
157
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:18,257
About Rosario...
158
00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:22,230
l'm smelling
a little problem...
159
00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,202
but a deep one.
160
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,364
-Oh, no.
-Yes.
161
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:28,737
l'm smelling him
falling in love with a girl...
162
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:32,938
he's saying poetry to.
That's her.
163
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,211
He's playing Romeo tonight...
164
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:38,547
but it couldn't be
with this Juliet.
165
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:40,108
Smell for yourself.
166
00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:45,245
l'm smelling him
loving so passionately...
167
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,555
nothing stands in his way.
168
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:50,756
This girl playing Juliet--
lsabel Fasuli--
169
00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:53,264
she's a scuccamend!
170
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:55,267
And we're catering her wedding.
171
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,861
She's marrying
Vinny Baldilamente.
172
00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,394
Blessed Roscoe?
173
00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:03,468
Blessed Roscoe agrees.
174
00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:08,469
l never thought
l'd lose him this soon.
175
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:12,917
Oh, boy.
176
00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:16,111
Oh, boy.
177
00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:20,350
The meats
don't go in the sauce yet!
178
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,724
That's stupid!
179
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:23,422
Any dummy will tell you
they're ready for the sauce!
180
00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:25,191
l catch you messing
with my sauce again...
181
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,892
behind my back l'll kick you
out of the kitchen!
182
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:29,026
You'll kick your sauce
out of the kitchen!
183
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,764
What's going on here?
184
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:33,931
Look at my meat.
ls it ready for the sauce yet?
185
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,237
No. You got to get out
more fat.
186
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:38,266
You're crazy! As crazy as him.
187
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,438
Ma, put your tooth back in.
188
00:09:40,479 --> 00:09:42,276
l can't remember where l put it.
189
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,646
And don't call us crazy no more.
190
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:46,447
l always call you crazy.
lt never bothered you before.
191
00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:48,385
lt always bothered me.
192
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,912
-lt bothers you, too?
-Of course!
193
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,925
You should have told me sooner.
194
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,120
l'm too old to change now.
195
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,958
Mikey...
196
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:59,396
l got to talk to you private.
197
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,400
Can we go up to the house?
198
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,958
Sure.
199
00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,104
Rocco, stay with the sauce.
200
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:07,765
She tries anything funny...
201
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:10,799
throw yourself
in front of the pot.
202
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:16,280
Will you promise me that if
l tell you this problem...
203
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,783
you won't make fun of me?
204
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:20,012
l promise.
205
00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:22,282
You know that l'm psychic.
206
00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:23,788
Yeah?
207
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:26,053
And so is my friend Mona.
208
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:28,117
Mona the nut?
209
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,287
Mona is not a nut.
210
00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:33,298
She's a clairvoyant
for a living...
211
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:37,962
and the Blessed Roscoe
told Mona...
212
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:40,973
that Rosario is going
to fall in love...
213
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:43,942
and give up everything
for his Juliet.
214
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:48,379
Every week, Mona's got
a different saint or angel...
215
00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:50,814
that nobody ever heard of
who speaks only to her.
216
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:53,318
How can you believe this stuff?
217
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:56,810
Because Mona helps me find
the invisible forces here.
218
00:10:56,856 --> 00:11:00,815
lt helps me discover
what l'm doing here on earth.
219
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,829
l discussed it in my prayers
with the Holy Mother...
220
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,831
and she said
it was OK with her.
221
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,833
You want me to ask her again?
222
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,267
-Dear Holy Mother--
-No, no, no.
223
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:13,271
Don't bother the Holy Mother
with something like this.
224
00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:16,763
Look, l'm a little tired.
l want to take a nap.
225
00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:18,037
You want to take a nap with me?
226
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:21,274
-Nap?
-Yeah.
227
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:25,409
-Yeah.
-OK. l'll be right back.
228
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:37,418
l got Fidella in the middle
so you can hold her, too.
229
00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:49,291
As is a winged messenger
of Heaven...
230
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:52,304
into the white-upturned
wandering eyes...
231
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:55,535
the lazy-pacing clouds
and sails...
232
00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:57,098
upon the bosom of the air...
233
00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:59,873
of mortals that fall back
to gaze on him...
234
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:03,313
when he bestrides
the lazy, puffing clouds.
235
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:07,308
O Romeo! Romeo!
236
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,480
Whereforth art thou, Romeo?
237
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,752
Deny thy father!
238
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,316
And refuse thy na...
239
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:28,465
l hope l didn't do that
with my negative thoughts.
240
00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:30,441
Are you all right, lsabel?
241
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,104
l can't move my leg!
242
00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:35,944
Rosario, go get Dr. Rondino.
243
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,949
Tell him to come right over.
244
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,951
How did this happen,
Miss DeLuca?
245
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,976
l seen the whole episode,
Monsignor.
246
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:43,648
She overacted with her foot...
247
00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:46,658
and tumbled down like
a wounded rhino. Forsooth.
248
00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:49,286
Don't call me no rhino,
zits breath.
249
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:52,297
How am l supposed
to get married tomorrow?
250
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,799
l hate this stupid play!
251
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,803
l told you the balcony
was made of plywood.
252
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,305
Why did you stamp your foot?
253
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:04,298
l should have harnessed her
to the wall, Dr. Rondino.
254
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,811
Oh, no. lt wouldn't
have helped, Miss DeLuca.
255
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,110
lt's not broken.
256
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:10,740
You just stay off it
for 24 hours...
257
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,650
and you'll be marching
down the aisle.
258
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,813
All right, boys,
help her out to my car.
259
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,756
We've got to get you home
and get that leg iced.
260
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:22,090
-What a buffalo!
-Shut up, you shithead!
261
00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:23,287
Twenty-four hours!
262
00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:26,127
We'll have the understudy
play Juliet.
263
00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:27,530
Understudy?
264
00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:31,002
Where is Niccolina Sousto?
265
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:34,870
Niccolina, where are you going?
266
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:37,273
l don't know the whole part.
267
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:40,039
l'll whisper the words
to you off the stage.
268
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:42,479
Please, Father,
don't make me do this.
269
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:46,075
Niccolina, you only have
to do your best.
270
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:57,793
OK, Niccolina, we'll find
somebody else to play the part.
271
00:14:57,830 --> 00:15:01,231
l know the part, Miss DeLuca.
l always wanted to play it.
272
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:04,794
No, Francis!
You're too good as the nurse...
273
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:06,964
and it would be too hard
to replace you.
274
00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:08,564
lsn't that right, Monsignor?
275
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:12,236
What else can we do, Sadie?
We're sold out.
276
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,303
We'll have to give refunds.
277
00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:16,746
Why don't we call
all the dramatic schools...
278
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:19,250
and we'll find
some really nice girl...
279
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:21,651
who can read the part
from the script?
280
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:23,882
This is a very good idea, Sadie.
281
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:28,223
But let's make sure that
all the girls send over...
282
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,286
their most recent photographs
with their hobbies...
283
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:34,731
their future ambitions,
and their religious attitudes.
284
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,758
Why do l have to be here?
285
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:39,930
This may be the girl we spend
the rest of our lives with.
286
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,769
You can stop calling.
287
00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:45,868
This couple just came in
and made a donation...
288
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:50,780
and then they told me
their daughter played that part.
289
00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:54,616
She'll play Juliet
to your son's Romeo.
290
00:15:54,653 --> 00:15:56,348
You look familiar.
291
00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:57,548
ls possible.
292
00:15:57,589 --> 00:16:00,683
Mr. and Mrs. Cappamezza...
293
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:04,253
meet Count
and Contessa Malacici.
294
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,059
Pleasure.
295
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,233
Look, Sadie,
it's just for one night...
296
00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:15,740
so let's not make
a big thing out of it.
297
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:17,742
OK, Sadie?
298
00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:19,767
Feel better?
299
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,747
A little.
There must be a way...
300
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:25,079
l can turn around what
Mona said is going to happen.
301
00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:27,085
Look...
302
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:29,087
you think l want Rosario
to ejaculate himself...
303
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:31,681
out of this family prematurely?
304
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:37,922
But did anything Mona ever
tell you would happen happen?
305
00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:40,363
Practically everything.
306
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:41,798
How come she told you...
307
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,734
that we're going to be rich,
and we're in debt...
308
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:46,397
that your mother
was going to move out...
309
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:49,271
and she just asked us
for a new mattress...
310
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:53,301
that your friend Sally would
have the best year of her life,
311
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,905
and she died? How come?
312
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:59,145
Oh, ye of little faith.
313
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:02,278
Once we raise enough money
to franchise our sauces...
314
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:05,188
and our wedding creations,
we are going to be rich.
315
00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,919
And my mother
still may move out...
316
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,291
and she'll take
her new mattress with her.
317
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:10,727
My girlfriend Sally
could be having...
318
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:15,063
her best year ever
right now in Heaven.
319
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:18,228
Ma! Pop! l just heard
about the Malacici girl.
320
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:20,738
Pop, could you imagine them
asking me to play Romeo...
321
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:24,140
opposite the daughter
of that Florentine?
322
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:27,145
Every bone in my body tells me
l should quit right now...
323
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:28,612
and forget about it.
324
00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:31,343
Honey, if you feel like that--
325
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,943
But the show must go on.
Miss DeLuca wants me...
326
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,750
to go introduce myself
before rehearsal.
327
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,451
-l'm going with you!
-What for?
328
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:42,119
lt will give me a chance
to see their operation.
329
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:45,619
But l got to go home and change
into something more apropos.
330
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:56,801
God Almighty!
Get a load of this place!
331
00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:59,504
These people wouldn't know
a sausage if they fell over one.
332
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:03,771
Makes me sick to go in there.
333
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:06,614
-Maybe--
-Are you all right, Ma?
334
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,449
Do l have a bump?
335
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:09,954
Here. Let me see.
336
00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:11,819
lt's all right, Ma.
337
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:14,155
This Romeo is a mama's boy.
338
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,559
What masculine boy
kisses a mother...
339
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,063
on the eye
after three years old?
340
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,201
Hi. l'm Rosario Cappamezza.
341
00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:28,399
This is my--
342
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,567
Yes. We have met at the church.
343
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:36,236
l thought l would chaperone
the children to rehearsal...
344
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:41,514
because l wanted to be
socially au courant...
345
00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:45,580
and because l'm the mother.
346
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:48,252
Please come in.
347
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:54,961
Beautiful.
348
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,768
Gina just returned
from her boarding school...
349
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,274
and she's taking
her beauty bath.
350
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,299
Please to sit down, eh?
351
00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:46,115
May we offer you
some refreshment?
352
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:49,746
We have profiterole,
tiramisu, banana torte...
353
00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:53,246
eight kinds of gelati,
and six kinds of sorbetto.
354
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:54,782
All fresh...
355
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:58,262
homemade, home-grown,
and hand-decorated.
356
00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:01,755
No, thank you.
We make all the same desserts...
357
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,133
plus zuppa lnglese,
zabaione, coppa di marrone.
358
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:08,469
Don't tell me
you make your own chocolate.
359
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:13,444
Milk, bittersweet, nougat,
and white with nuts.
360
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:17,278
From a recipe
that is 400 years old?
361
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,614
From a recipe
that Frank Sinatra himself...
362
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:23,280
said was the best
he ever tasted on City lsland.
363
00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:24,789
The president of ltaly...
364
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:28,816
once ate two portions of
our risotto con funghi.
365
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,791
During the pope's visit
in 1982...
366
00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:36,300
the Holy Father
had three portions...
367
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:39,236
of our clams posillipo, to go.
368
00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:41,296
ln four centuries
of operation...
369
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:43,308
our restaurant
in Firenze was visited...
370
00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:46,800
by two nuns who later
were canonized--
371
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:48,312
Santa Teresa DeMontania...
372
00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:50,315
and Santa Rudolpha Legatti...
373
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:55,548
for whom our bronzino in
brodetto di Rudolpha was named.
374
00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:01,019
Our dishwasher speaks Chinese.
375
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,604
This is our daughter Regina.
376
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,838
Hi.
377
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:56,814
This is my mother
Sadie Cappamezza...
378
00:21:56,848 --> 00:21:59,316
and l'm R-r-r...
379
00:21:59,351 --> 00:22:02,286
Rosario Cappamezza.
380
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,482
How do you do?
381
00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:07,651
Gina has consented
to play the part of Juliet...
382
00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:09,923
even though
she must leave tomorrow.
383
00:22:09,961 --> 00:22:11,451
Where are you going?
384
00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:12,758
Paris.
385
00:22:12,798 --> 00:22:14,390
For the summer...
386
00:22:14,433 --> 00:22:16,799
to study with the Ballet Russe.
387
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:18,132
Paris, France?
388
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:21,401
There's so much more to do there
than there is here.
389
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:22,771
You can climb
the Eiffel Tower...
390
00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:24,776
and you can go to the cancan.
391
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:26,971
We should go.
We're going to be late.
392
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,809
lt was nice meeting you.
393
00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:39,620
l'm sorry. l'm sorry.
394
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:41,785
Don't you yell at my son!
395
00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:44,796
He bumps himself a lot
when he's happy...
396
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:49,961
and he's very happy
that he has a thin Juliet.
397
00:22:57,342 --> 00:22:59,833
You have a very nice bathroom.
398
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,348
Can l drop you anywhere, Ma?
399
00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:10,753
Drop me?
400
00:23:10,789 --> 00:23:14,247
Yeah. When Miss DeLuca
first works with an actor...
401
00:23:14,292 --> 00:23:17,261
she doesn't like
to have any eyewitnesses.
402
00:23:17,295 --> 00:23:20,287
l mean, amateur nonactors.
403
00:23:23,802 --> 00:23:26,771
So, Ma, can l drop you or what?
404
00:23:26,805 --> 00:23:29,774
No, no, no.
lt's not far. l'll walk.
405
00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:31,298
OK.
406
00:23:41,987 --> 00:23:44,046
You dress funny.
407
00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:48,956
l like it.
408
00:23:57,702 --> 00:24:00,796
l'm smelling her.
409
00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:03,501
l'm smelling her.
410
00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:07,000
ls this new Juliet
the one that my Rosario...
411
00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:08,808
is going to give up
his life for?
412
00:24:08,847 --> 00:24:14,012
Big bosom, strong thighs,
small culo?
413
00:24:14,052 --> 00:24:16,782
-Yeah.
-That's her.
414
00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:21,353
The Blessed Roscoe corroborates.
415
00:24:21,393 --> 00:24:24,624
At least she's leaving tomorrow.
416
00:24:24,663 --> 00:24:28,326
Maybe no damage can be done
between now and then. Right?
417
00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:32,893
What does the Blessed Roscoe
say l should do?
418
00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:34,769
Nothing.
419
00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:39,971
Love...is all there is.
420
00:24:40,011 --> 00:24:42,536
Love is all there is?
421
00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:46,140
How did the candles work?
422
00:24:46,184 --> 00:24:48,778
My husband told me
to hold the cat, too.
423
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:52,654
l made a mistake.
424
00:24:52,691 --> 00:24:55,785
Those candles are for
young honeymooners in trouble.
425
00:24:55,827 --> 00:25:00,287
You need something for older
eroticism that's capsizing.
426
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:03,995
Here. When these burn down
to the genital area...
427
00:25:04,035 --> 00:25:06,469
he'll be sure to grab you,
not the cat.
428
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:07,802
Thanks.
429
00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:12,742
That's $9 for the candles,
$30 for the reading--
430
00:25:12,777 --> 00:25:16,736
Look, about Rosario,
l just can't do nothing?
431
00:25:16,781 --> 00:25:19,773
He's too young to ruin his life.
432
00:25:21,286 --> 00:25:22,776
Hold the phone.
433
00:25:34,466 --> 00:25:36,764
Take these two birds.
434
00:25:36,801 --> 00:25:40,259
The one with the yellow ring
is the male.
435
00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:42,830
He represents your son.
436
00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:45,775
Keep sprinkling oregano
on his tail--
437
00:25:45,810 --> 00:25:49,268
the desire
for higher education.
438
00:25:49,314 --> 00:25:52,772
The other one is the female.
439
00:25:52,817 --> 00:25:56,776
Squint your eyes.
You see her aura?
440
00:25:56,821 --> 00:25:58,618
Right now it's white...
441
00:25:58,657 --> 00:26:01,285
because the Blessed Roscoe
is present.
442
00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:04,295
This is an aura duster.
443
00:26:04,329 --> 00:26:10,097
Keep dusting her aura to keep
her love for Rosario pure.
444
00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,227
Don't let it turn orange...
445
00:26:13,271 --> 00:26:16,240
or you're in the danger,
lower-crotch area.
446
00:26:16,274 --> 00:26:21,234
Here. Keep reciting this chant
to the two birds.
447
00:26:21,279 --> 00:26:24,248
''He is love deep.
448
00:26:24,282 --> 00:26:27,740
''He is sacrifice all.
449
00:26:27,786 --> 00:26:31,244
''He is education's first.
450
00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:34,383
''He is in it
for the long haul.''
451
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:38,260
OK. That's $3.00
for the oregano...
452
00:26:38,296 --> 00:26:40,264
$24.50 for the aura duster...
453
00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:42,266
$42.50 for the birds...
454
00:26:42,300 --> 00:26:44,734
a buck and a half for the chant.
455
00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:48,261
He is love deep.
456
00:26:48,306 --> 00:26:51,275
He is sacrifice all.
457
00:26:51,309 --> 00:26:54,073
But his education's first.
458
00:26:54,145 --> 00:26:56,773
All right, as soon as
she's in the costume...
459
00:26:56,815 --> 00:26:58,783
we're going
to start the rehearsal.
460
00:26:58,817 --> 00:27:00,910
-Yes, Miss DeLuca.
-We know.
461
00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:05,855
l hear...
that the new Juliet's dress...
462
00:27:05,890 --> 00:27:08,450
had to be opened up
this much on top.
463
00:27:08,493 --> 00:27:10,552
That's how big her titties are.
464
00:27:10,595 --> 00:27:12,563
l wish l had that problem.
465
00:27:12,597 --> 00:27:15,122
Every night, l pray
that mine will grow bigger.
466
00:27:15,166 --> 00:27:17,726
My mother says it ain't
the size that counts.
467
00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:19,703
lt's the quality.
468
00:27:19,738 --> 00:27:22,707
That's because your mother
got small titties.
469
00:27:22,741 --> 00:27:25,039
l hope she's built better
than lsabel.
470
00:27:25,076 --> 00:27:27,704
With her belly, the audience
wouldn't even have seen me.
471
00:27:27,746 --> 00:27:28,906
l hear she's from ltaly...
472
00:27:28,947 --> 00:27:31,313
so she don't talk English
too good like us.
473
00:27:31,349 --> 00:27:33,408
Where do you think
Romeo and Juliet lived?
474
00:27:33,451 --> 00:27:36,420
ln England. Ain't that
where Shakespeare lives?
475
00:27:36,454 --> 00:27:38,547
Shakespeare's dead, you dope.
476
00:27:38,590 --> 00:27:41,252
How do l know?
l don't watch PMS.
477
00:27:41,292 --> 00:27:43,260
l got ham and provolone.
478
00:27:43,294 --> 00:27:47,253
-Ciabatta and anchovies.
-l got eggs.
479
00:27:47,298 --> 00:27:49,664
Ronny, your pizza's here!
480
00:27:49,701 --> 00:27:51,794
Where's the pepperoni?
481
00:27:59,878 --> 00:28:01,175
Snack time is over!
482
00:28:01,212 --> 00:28:03,271
All right, come on.
Let's get to work.
483
00:28:04,649 --> 00:28:08,278
All right. Gina,
you have just met Rosario...
484
00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:12,722
so l want to assure you that
the kisses will be discreet.
485
00:28:12,757 --> 00:28:14,725
All right.
With your bodies apart...
486
00:28:14,759 --> 00:28:18,718
you're going to let
your lips brush lightly...
487
00:28:18,763 --> 00:28:22,221
like a butterfly's wings
on a rose petal.
488
00:28:22,267 --> 00:28:26,226
You got to leave the passion
to the audience's imagination.
489
00:28:26,271 --> 00:28:28,239
All right? Go ahead.
490
00:28:28,273 --> 00:28:31,242
Wait! Keep this much space
between your torsos.
491
00:28:31,276 --> 00:28:37,704
Let your lips just touch
for one brief instant.
492
00:28:37,749 --> 00:28:38,909
Perfect!
493
00:28:38,950 --> 00:28:40,417
OK, everybody, come on!
494
00:28:40,452 --> 00:28:42,943
Places from
the top of the show!
495
00:28:44,789 --> 00:28:47,781
My granddaughter Rita's
playing the part of Prologue.
496
00:28:47,826 --> 00:28:51,455
Mikey, if you could have seen
the way he drooled...
497
00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:52,758
when he looked at her.
498
00:28:52,797 --> 00:28:54,424
Boys his age
are supposed to drool.
499
00:28:54,466 --> 00:28:56,764
But Mona says he's going
to give up everything--
500
00:28:56,801 --> 00:28:58,268
She really sees you coming.
501
00:28:58,303 --> 00:29:00,601
Now we got two frigging birds
who can't stop crapping...
502
00:29:00,638 --> 00:29:01,935
stinking up our house.
503
00:29:01,973 --> 00:29:03,270
What are you two talking about?
504
00:29:03,308 --> 00:29:06,277
-Nothing.
-l saw your lips moving.
505
00:29:06,311 --> 00:29:08,279
Where's your tooth?
506
00:29:08,313 --> 00:29:10,713
l forgot.
507
00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:12,910
There they are.
508
00:29:12,951 --> 00:29:15,215
Look at them with their
Florentine noses in the air.
509
00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:17,278
lt looks like
they're smelling something.
510
00:29:17,322 --> 00:29:20,189
They're looking this way.
511
00:29:20,225 --> 00:29:23,524
l am sure
that Regina having to act...
512
00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:26,587
with the son of these Sicilians
make her as sick as l am.
513
00:29:26,631 --> 00:29:29,031
We have no choice...
514
00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:32,594
because we have to win over
their low-class clientele.
515
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:39,736
Good morrow.
516
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:41,746
ls the day so young?
517
00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:43,611
But new struck nine.
518
00:29:48,286 --> 00:29:50,754
Ay me, sad hours long.
519
00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:53,917
Was that my father
that went hence so fast?
520
00:29:53,958 --> 00:29:56,119
lt was.
521
00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:58,755
He is so handsome...
522
00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:01,265
just like Errol Flynn
in the old movies.
523
00:30:01,299 --> 00:30:03,859
He fences good.
You'd never know he was clumsy.
524
00:30:03,902 --> 00:30:05,631
Oh, shit!
525
00:30:05,670 --> 00:30:06,932
'Tis not to me she speaks.
526
00:30:06,971 --> 00:30:09,997
Why do they make him wear
them blue pantyhose?
527
00:30:10,041 --> 00:30:12,100
lt makes
his dingle look too big.
528
00:30:12,143 --> 00:30:13,303
Shh, Ma.
529
00:30:13,344 --> 00:30:16,780
God forbid!
Where is this girl?
530
00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:20,774
Juliet! Juliet!
531
00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:22,286
How now, who calls?
532
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:23,787
Your mother.
533
00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:27,519
Madam, l am here.
What is your will?
534
00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:29,789
How eloquent she is.
535
00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:32,524
Yes, but is a mismatch...
536
00:30:32,564 --> 00:30:35,465
because she make
the Sicilian mama's boy...
537
00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:37,991
look like a buffoon
from the circus.
538
00:31:14,639 --> 00:31:17,267
Saints do not move...
539
00:31:17,308 --> 00:31:20,277
though grant
for my prayers' sake.
540
00:31:20,311 --> 00:31:23,371
Then move not,
while my prayer's effect l take.
541
00:31:26,317 --> 00:31:28,444
Oh, boy.
542
00:31:37,328 --> 00:31:39,296
Thy drugs are quick.
543
00:31:39,330 --> 00:31:43,824
Thus with a kiss l die.
544
00:31:52,243 --> 00:31:55,644
They're doing it for real.
545
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,648
Rosario!
546
00:31:57,682 --> 00:32:00,810
Rosario! No more.
547
00:32:00,852 --> 00:32:02,479
Stop!
548
00:32:05,356 --> 00:32:10,225
My God.
l never saw this before.
549
00:32:12,163 --> 00:32:13,926
How dare he do that
to my little girl!
550
00:32:13,965 --> 00:32:15,762
He pretend to be mama's boy.
551
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,893
Oldest Sicilian trick
in the back of the book.
552
00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:20,803
Why she don't stop him? Why?
553
00:32:20,838 --> 00:32:23,773
Because she has to act
as if she's dead...
554
00:32:23,808 --> 00:32:25,503
and he's taken advantage.
555
00:32:25,543 --> 00:32:27,272
Mona knew.
556
00:32:27,312 --> 00:32:29,280
The Blessed Roscoe knew.
557
00:32:29,314 --> 00:32:31,282
That's what masculine acting is.
558
00:32:31,316 --> 00:32:33,716
You kiss the girl
like you go for her.
559
00:32:33,751 --> 00:32:35,412
Her aura is changing.
560
00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:37,387
-What?
-Nothing.
561
00:32:37,422 --> 00:32:39,014
Rosario!
562
00:32:43,895 --> 00:32:46,887
She is kissing him
with her mouth open.
563
00:32:48,132 --> 00:32:49,565
Stop!
564
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,465
l don't care
if l lose the business.
565
00:32:51,502 --> 00:32:53,299
l don't raise my daughter
for this.
566
00:32:53,338 --> 00:32:55,306
l am going to pull the curtain.
567
00:32:55,340 --> 00:32:57,137
Let me go!
You don't understand.
568
00:32:57,175 --> 00:32:58,802
Get out of the way!
569
00:32:58,843 --> 00:33:00,401
...violate my daughter.
Let me out of here!
570
00:33:04,716 --> 00:33:06,547
Piero, come back!
They've stopped kissing!
571
00:33:06,584 --> 00:33:09,451
Come back. Come on.
572
00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:11,250
Please, let me go.
573
00:33:11,289 --> 00:33:14,281
You got some nerve, fatso.
574
00:33:15,393 --> 00:33:18,794
l...die.
575
00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:23,090
l hate those pantyhose.
576
00:33:23,134 --> 00:33:26,331
His dingle
looks even bigger now.
577
00:33:28,239 --> 00:33:31,766
Dear God! ls he stiff?
578
00:33:31,809 --> 00:33:33,777
l think he's stiff from her.
579
00:33:33,811 --> 00:33:36,109
That's just a towel in there...
580
00:33:36,147 --> 00:33:38,274
so they don't hurt it
when they duel.
581
00:33:38,316 --> 00:33:41,911
lt's a towel. l'm so relieved.
582
00:33:41,953 --> 00:33:45,286
-Let me see!
-Get out of my way!
583
00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:46,984
Stop looking.
584
00:33:49,927 --> 00:33:52,691
Sicilian son of a bitch!
585
00:33:52,730 --> 00:33:54,664
This is so embarrassing.
586
00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:56,758
lt's growing.
587
00:34:03,274 --> 00:34:05,435
l will kiss thy lips.
588
00:34:05,476 --> 00:34:08,809
Haply some poison
yet doth hang on them...
589
00:34:08,846 --> 00:34:11,246
to make me die
with a restorative.
590
00:34:11,282 --> 00:34:15,378
My poor baby has to kiss
the Sicilian animal now!
591
00:34:15,420 --> 00:34:18,287
l hope she bite off his lips and
spit them into his face!
592
00:34:25,963 --> 00:34:27,555
Oh, my God.
593
00:34:27,598 --> 00:34:29,589
This must be method acting.
594
00:34:29,634 --> 00:34:33,092
Gina...a butterfly's wings.
595
00:34:33,137 --> 00:34:35,071
A butterfly's wings.
596
00:34:37,008 --> 00:34:38,942
Her aura, it's turning orange.
597
00:34:38,976 --> 00:34:41,001
Go for it, Gina!
598
00:34:41,045 --> 00:34:43,775
He is love deep.
599
00:34:43,815 --> 00:34:46,283
He is sacrifice all.
600
00:34:46,317 --> 00:34:48,785
lf she were my daughter,
l'd break her head.
601
00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:52,312
They must've used two towels.
602
00:34:53,491 --> 00:34:56,654
-Here he goes again!
-Sit down, fatso!
603
00:34:56,694 --> 00:34:58,457
You want a rap in the mouth?
604
00:34:58,496 --> 00:34:59,793
Yeah? Step in the toilet!
605
00:34:59,831 --> 00:35:02,129
-You be quiet!
-Piero, come back!
606
00:35:02,166 --> 00:35:05,158
The kiss is finished.
You'll ruin her death scene.
607
00:35:05,203 --> 00:35:09,299
O happy dagger...
608
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:12,901
this is my sheath.
609
00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:16,903
There rest...
610
00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:19,280
and let me die!
611
00:35:25,556 --> 00:35:27,751
Move! You have to move.
612
00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:29,259
That's so rude!
613
00:35:29,293 --> 00:35:30,760
The scene is over.
614
00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:33,263
l want to go as soon
as the curtain comes down.
615
00:35:33,297 --> 00:35:36,755
-Get out of my way!
-A real banana.
616
00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:38,393
l will challenge you to a duel!
617
00:35:38,436 --> 00:35:41,269
Get him to the banquet hall
the minute this show is over.
618
00:35:41,305 --> 00:35:43,603
Right. Ma, wait in the car.
619
00:35:43,641 --> 00:35:45,108
We want to extricate him
unbeknownst.
620
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,634
l knew it.
He was stiff from her!
621
00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:50,371
Come on.
622
00:35:51,649 --> 00:35:53,276
Some shall be pardoned.
623
00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:55,649
Others shall be punished.
624
00:35:55,686 --> 00:36:00,282
For never was
a story of more woe...
625
00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:05,159
than this
of Juliet and her Romeo.
626
00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:13,229
Come on, Rosario.
You got to come with us.
627
00:36:13,271 --> 00:36:16,240
Get out of here! Jesus, Ma!
628
00:36:16,274 --> 00:36:17,741
Sadie, come on!
629
00:36:17,775 --> 00:36:19,640
Ma, get off the stage!
630
00:36:22,113 --> 00:36:24,240
l was so disgusted
over how you kissed that boy.
631
00:36:24,282 --> 00:36:25,749
lt was pornografia!
632
00:36:25,783 --> 00:36:29,241
All right. Tonight we go home,
sleep the night good.
633
00:36:29,287 --> 00:36:31,755
Tomorrow you are in Paris,
we forget about everything.
634
00:36:31,789 --> 00:36:33,757
No, Papa. The banquet!
635
00:36:33,791 --> 00:36:35,088
The whole cast is going!
636
00:36:35,126 --> 00:36:38,254
l will not set foot in
that Cappamezza catering hall!
637
00:36:38,296 --> 00:36:39,763
And neither should you!
638
00:36:39,797 --> 00:36:41,765
And that is final!
639
00:36:41,799 --> 00:36:43,767
Magnificent performance, Gina.
640
00:36:43,801 --> 00:36:45,769
See you at the banquet?
641
00:36:45,803 --> 00:36:47,771
No, Monsignore,
she cannot come...
642
00:36:47,805 --> 00:36:50,273
because tomorrow she get
up early, go to airport.
643
00:36:50,308 --> 00:36:55,268
l understand, but l want to
thank her and you two publicly.
644
00:36:55,313 --> 00:36:58,282
You just come for that?
645
00:36:58,316 --> 00:37:00,307
We--
646
00:37:44,228 --> 00:37:45,991
l didn't fall asleep once...
647
00:37:46,030 --> 00:37:48,931
except during the parts
where people were just talking.
648
00:37:48,966 --> 00:37:51,526
But in the swordplay...
649
00:37:51,569 --> 00:37:53,764
and the smooching--terrific.
650
00:37:53,804 --> 00:37:55,601
What about my Francis?
651
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:57,767
He was great.
l believed he was her nurse...
652
00:37:57,808 --> 00:37:59,867
and he was very manly
in the girl's clothes.
653
00:37:59,910 --> 00:38:01,935
You're ready for Broadway!
654
00:38:01,979 --> 00:38:05,278
And, Tony, you was great
as Rosario's uncle.
655
00:38:05,316 --> 00:38:08,217
l wasn't his uncle.
l was his cousin.
656
00:38:08,252 --> 00:38:09,549
Well, whoever you were...
657
00:38:09,587 --> 00:38:11,953
you all made the evening
very bearable.
658
00:38:20,765 --> 00:38:23,632
Papa, l'd like
to say hello to the cast.
659
00:38:23,668 --> 00:38:26,728
You say hello to the girls.
Only to the girls, eh?
660
00:38:26,771 --> 00:38:28,864
Hello and good-bye.
661
00:38:37,515 --> 00:38:41,611
Next year,
we're doing Ju//us and Caesar.
662
00:38:41,652 --> 00:38:43,415
l'm playing Mrs. Caesar.
663
00:38:43,454 --> 00:38:45,922
You ever see the smoke
in this way?
664
00:38:45,956 --> 00:38:48,186
-So ridiculous, eh?
-lt's obscene.
665
00:38:48,225 --> 00:38:50,955
What they are trying to do,
re-create forest fire?
666
00:38:51,962 --> 00:38:53,759
Look at them.
667
00:38:53,798 --> 00:38:56,926
They are green with envy
from our decor.
668
00:38:56,967 --> 00:38:59,060
When they taste our food,
they're going to wish...
669
00:38:59,103 --> 00:39:02,266
they were in
another business altogether.
670
00:39:02,306 --> 00:39:04,274
l don't see the daughter.
671
00:39:04,308 --> 00:39:07,300
She's over there with the girls.
672
00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:10,542
You two were so sexy up there.
673
00:39:10,581 --> 00:39:11,980
l thought l was watching...
674
00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:13,711
Mel Gibson
and Michelle Pfeiffer.
675
00:39:13,751 --> 00:39:15,878
Where did you learn
to kiss like that...
676
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,182
boarding school?
677
00:39:17,221 --> 00:39:19,712
l asked my parents to send me.
678
00:39:19,757 --> 00:39:21,224
They were afraid
l'd lose my cherry.
679
00:39:21,258 --> 00:39:22,555
They don't know this...
680
00:39:22,593 --> 00:39:26,222
but l lost it to a Guido
when l was 14.
681
00:39:26,263 --> 00:39:28,390
l been to the Capri Motel.
682
00:39:28,432 --> 00:39:30,923
What is a Capri Motel?
683
00:39:30,968 --> 00:39:34,631
The horniest place
on City lsland.
684
00:39:34,672 --> 00:39:37,232
lt's got waterbeds shaped like
the back seat of a car...
685
00:39:37,274 --> 00:39:40,539
and porno movies in every room.
686
00:39:40,578 --> 00:39:42,569
l lost mine there, too.
687
00:39:42,613 --> 00:39:44,740
l ain't been a virgin
almost a month.
688
00:39:44,782 --> 00:39:48,274
And we know who Mr. Lucky is.
689
00:39:58,262 --> 00:39:59,422
What?
690
00:39:59,463 --> 00:40:01,761
We're all victims
of peer pressure.
691
00:40:01,799 --> 00:40:02,993
What about you?
692
00:40:03,033 --> 00:40:05,934
My parents are very strict.
693
00:40:11,642 --> 00:40:13,303
Wait here.
694
00:40:15,146 --> 00:40:20,277
l'd like to call up
Mike and Sadie Cappamezza...
695
00:40:20,317 --> 00:40:24,811
and Count and Contessa Malacici.
696
00:40:28,325 --> 00:40:31,624
Which just shows...
697
00:40:31,662 --> 00:40:33,459
You want to dance, Rosario?
698
00:40:33,497 --> 00:40:34,964
Hey!
699
00:40:34,999 --> 00:40:39,163
...can turn business rivals
into good friends.
700
00:40:42,540 --> 00:40:45,839
One and two and three.
701
00:40:47,511 --> 00:40:48,978
What is that?
702
00:40:49,013 --> 00:40:50,742
What is this? How goes it?
703
00:40:55,352 --> 00:40:56,785
Bring Regina.
704
00:40:56,821 --> 00:40:58,880
Hello, Mr. Frederico, Mrs. F.
705
00:40:58,923 --> 00:41:02,450
Piero...wait. Look.
706
00:41:04,895 --> 00:41:06,658
The Fredericos.
707
00:41:06,697 --> 00:41:08,961
We must not go
without to talk to them.
708
00:41:08,999 --> 00:41:11,263
We must cater
their daughter's wedding.
709
00:41:14,705 --> 00:41:15,967
How are you?
710
00:41:16,006 --> 00:41:17,598
Your daughter Carmella...
711
00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:20,769
recite the line of
Lady Capulet with such artistry.
712
00:41:20,811 --> 00:41:24,269
And she reeks of intelligence.
713
00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:27,284
And that is why she deserve
the grand wedding...
714
00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:28,785
we have prepared for her.
715
00:41:28,819 --> 00:41:31,083
Every guest will have...
716
00:41:31,121 --> 00:41:33,146
roast goose
or bistecca Chateaubriand.
717
00:41:33,190 --> 00:41:34,782
And vanilla tartufi.
718
00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:37,293
And amaretto creme brulee
with the wedding cake.
719
00:41:37,328 --> 00:41:39,387
What about the smoke?
720
00:41:39,430 --> 00:41:41,455
Oh, yes.
Every man smoke big cigar.
721
00:41:41,499 --> 00:41:43,797
No, no, no.
We like the smoke effect.
722
00:41:43,834 --> 00:41:47,600
Smoke effect.
723
00:41:47,638 --> 00:41:51,301
We love smoke effect...
724
00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:53,810
but our smoke will be finer...
725
00:41:53,844 --> 00:41:57,302
not only to the ankle,
but all the way to the calf.
726
00:41:57,348 --> 00:42:00,442
Yes, and softer,
like in a Fellini movie.
727
00:42:00,484 --> 00:42:03,351
The sneaks are trying
to steal the Fredericos!
728
00:42:04,588 --> 00:42:07,318
What do you say, Ralph?
How are you doing, Angie?
729
00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:10,589
Hi. How are youse?
730
00:42:10,628 --> 00:42:13,791
They're not looking. Now!
731
00:42:23,941 --> 00:42:25,875
For Carmella's wedding,
as souvenirs...
732
00:42:25,910 --> 00:42:29,107
we take a picture of you two
from your wedding...
733
00:42:29,146 --> 00:42:31,910
and we print it on
the front of each coffee cup.
734
00:42:31,949 --> 00:42:33,610
And engraved on the inside...
735
00:42:33,651 --> 00:42:37,382
a pink rose entwined with
a silver ribbon, that says...
736
00:42:37,421 --> 00:42:41,289
''Carmella loves Tony
and vice versa...
737
00:42:41,325 --> 00:42:45,125
''Compliments,
Angie and Ralph Frederico.''
738
00:42:45,162 --> 00:42:48,393
l've never seen that
before at a wedding.
739
00:42:48,432 --> 00:42:52,391
l am sure they do it
in Coney lsland.
740
00:42:52,436 --> 00:42:55,928
They make a good-looking couple
even off the stage.
741
00:42:55,973 --> 00:42:59,306
-Who?
-Your daughter and your son.
742
00:43:00,945 --> 00:43:03,311
Now l know why the Malacicis...
743
00:43:03,347 --> 00:43:06,805
and the Cappamezzas
get along so well.
744
00:43:06,850 --> 00:43:08,647
They're making a match.
745
00:43:08,686 --> 00:43:11,246
No! She's only 16!
746
00:43:11,288 --> 00:43:12,915
He just got
his driver's license.
747
00:43:12,957 --> 00:43:14,652
They have only
the Shakespeare in common.
748
00:43:14,692 --> 00:43:17,252
She's rushing off for culture
to Paris for the ballet...
749
00:43:17,294 --> 00:43:21,060
and he's pursuing his intellect
taking Geometry ll this summer.
750
00:43:21,098 --> 00:43:22,895
He's practically
a juvenile delinquent.
751
00:43:22,933 --> 00:43:27,768
The other Romeo
did not come close to you.
752
00:43:27,805 --> 00:43:31,263
Did you kiss him
like you kissed me?
753
00:43:31,308 --> 00:43:34,300
l never kiss anyone
like l kiss you.
754
00:43:42,319 --> 00:43:46,779
l take it
they don't like me for you.
755
00:43:46,824 --> 00:43:49,292
They don't like anyone for me...
756
00:43:49,326 --> 00:43:51,317
but you in particular.
757
00:43:51,362 --> 00:43:53,796
Why? Because the folks
are rivals?
758
00:43:53,831 --> 00:43:59,292
No. Because you are
dangerous and sexy.
759
00:43:59,336 --> 00:44:01,702
Easy, easy.
760
00:44:01,739 --> 00:44:04,537
Sadie will design
candy-covered almonds...
761
00:44:04,575 --> 00:44:07,373
wrapped in lace
with a bow...
762
00:44:07,411 --> 00:44:12,212
a plastic bird, a feather,
and a simulated zircon ring.
763
00:44:12,249 --> 00:44:14,274
The Malacicis say they can do...
764
00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:16,980
a soft Fellini smoke
up to the knees.
765
00:44:17,021 --> 00:44:20,752
We can do bright ''Terminator 2''
smoke up to the chin!
766
00:44:20,791 --> 00:44:22,258
Watch this!
767
00:44:22,292 --> 00:44:25,284
With a double Technicolor
Walt Disney rainbow.
768
00:44:36,373 --> 00:44:38,204
Oh, my.
769
00:44:39,476 --> 00:44:42,775
Turn it down!
lt's way too high, Mikey!
770
00:44:42,813 --> 00:44:44,280
l can't. lt's stuck!
771
00:44:44,314 --> 00:44:47,772
-Do something!
-l got to get a wrench.
772
00:44:49,753 --> 00:44:51,277
Where are they?
773
00:44:51,321 --> 00:44:54,119
Where are the children?
774
00:44:54,158 --> 00:44:57,286
The children. Oh, boy.
775
00:44:57,327 --> 00:44:58,794
Did l do this?
776
00:44:58,829 --> 00:45:00,797
Did l make the rainbow
too romantic?
777
00:45:00,831 --> 00:45:02,799
You both do!
You make a camouflage!
778
00:45:02,833 --> 00:45:04,130
lt's your fault!
779
00:45:04,168 --> 00:45:06,295
Stealing the Fredericos,
forcing us to show off!
780
00:45:06,336 --> 00:45:11,069
Wait a minute!
Where are the Fredericos?
781
00:45:14,178 --> 00:45:18,774
This is exactly what l want,
only more purple.
782
00:45:26,790 --> 00:45:29,691
ls this where
all the boys take the girls?
783
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:32,662
Yeah.
784
00:45:32,696 --> 00:45:35,756
Have you ever
taken anyone else here?
785
00:45:35,799 --> 00:45:37,562
Yeah.
786
00:45:39,636 --> 00:45:41,797
My mother,
when we needed to talk...
787
00:45:41,839 --> 00:45:43,500
and once my grandma.
788
00:45:46,677 --> 00:45:49,441
You don't have a girlfriend?
789
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,845
No.
790
00:45:52,850 --> 00:45:54,715
How come?
791
00:45:57,354 --> 00:46:01,984
After saying all those
Shakespearean lines to you...
792
00:46:02,025 --> 00:46:05,961
it's kind of hard to come up
with the right words, but...
793
00:46:07,364 --> 00:46:12,267
l've been
waiting for the moon...
794
00:46:12,302 --> 00:46:16,762
to send down a goddess
from the heavens.
795
00:46:16,807 --> 00:46:21,744
And then it must have
done it because...
796
00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:23,770
she's come.
797
00:46:47,571 --> 00:46:50,734
l've waited
my whole life for you.
798
00:46:50,774 --> 00:46:54,175
-Oh, no!
-Wait, wait, wait!
799
00:46:54,211 --> 00:46:55,803
Don't be scared.
800
00:46:55,846 --> 00:46:57,837
We'll only do
what you want to do.
801
00:47:04,154 --> 00:47:06,816
Gina! Gina!
802
00:47:06,857 --> 00:47:08,916
Where are you going?
803
00:47:08,959 --> 00:47:11,553
What? What did l do?
804
00:47:11,595 --> 00:47:15,224
l'm crazy in love with you!
805
00:47:15,265 --> 00:47:17,733
l never wanted to be
a ballerina.
806
00:47:17,768 --> 00:47:20,259
Mother and Father
both gave up studying...
807
00:47:20,304 --> 00:47:22,272
for the opera
when they got married...
808
00:47:22,306 --> 00:47:26,504
and l thought that their dream
for me was mine, too.
809
00:47:26,543 --> 00:47:31,480
Mother wants
to keep me away from men...
810
00:47:31,515 --> 00:47:33,779
until l am famous...
811
00:47:33,817 --> 00:47:38,777
and Father wants me
to marry only royalty...
812
00:47:38,822 --> 00:47:40,915
that has not gone broke,
like we did in Firenze.
813
00:47:40,958 --> 00:47:46,828
My parents named the business
''Prince Rosario'' after me.
814
00:47:48,332 --> 00:47:51,130
Your parents were right.
815
00:47:51,168 --> 00:47:52,999
You are a prince.
816
00:47:59,076 --> 00:48:01,476
l'm not going away.
817
00:48:01,511 --> 00:48:04,844
Yeah. You got a right
to think for yourself.
818
00:48:06,350 --> 00:48:07,749
Yes.
819
00:48:10,087 --> 00:48:11,315
Let's go tell them.
820
00:48:11,355 --> 00:48:13,755
Who? You and me?
821
00:48:13,790 --> 00:48:17,248
You won't let them
intimidate me, will you?
822
00:48:17,294 --> 00:48:19,353
Absolutely not.
823
00:48:19,396 --> 00:48:21,762
l'm used to dealing
with crazy people.
824
00:48:21,798 --> 00:48:23,766
My grandmother
is a complete fruitcake.
825
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,792
You let me do the talking
to your parents, OK?
826
00:48:28,171 --> 00:48:30,662
lf we knew where they was,
wouldn't we tell you?
827
00:48:30,707 --> 00:48:32,675
lf your son
dishonor our daughter...
828
00:48:32,709 --> 00:48:34,176
l will hold you responsible!
829
00:48:34,211 --> 00:48:36,406
Our daughter is
an angel of regal bearing...
830
00:48:36,446 --> 00:48:38,437
a treasure,
a princess from a fairy tale...
831
00:48:38,482 --> 00:48:40,040
who walk in purity!
832
00:48:40,083 --> 00:48:42,278
And what's our son--
a big bag of shit?
833
00:48:42,319 --> 00:48:45,288
Mike!
Please don't use the ''s'' word.
834
00:48:45,322 --> 00:48:49,281
Our son is a gentleman,
and he's an altar boy.
835
00:48:49,326 --> 00:48:52,022
He's a lover of all mothers.
836
00:48:52,062 --> 00:48:55,395
l will call the police!
l will call the FBl!
837
00:48:59,603 --> 00:49:01,537
They have
just drive up in the car!
838
00:49:03,173 --> 00:49:06,802
See? Nothing from nothing.
839
00:49:06,843 --> 00:49:08,811
Let's go to bed.
840
00:49:18,088 --> 00:49:21,114
What will you say to him?
841
00:49:21,158 --> 00:49:23,456
l'll tell him,
''Hey, forget about Paris.
842
00:49:23,493 --> 00:49:25,757
''She's with me. Get it?''
843
00:49:25,796 --> 00:49:27,263
How's that?
844
00:49:27,297 --> 00:49:31,028
Let's get out of here!
My father will kill you!
845
00:49:32,769 --> 00:49:37,763
She's just a baby,
pussy wussy pussycat!
846
00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:41,107
She's a little baby calico cat.
847
00:49:41,144 --> 00:49:43,169
She's a little kissable cat.
848
00:49:43,213 --> 00:49:45,443
She's a little--
849
00:49:46,984 --> 00:49:48,645
Hey, Mikey.
850
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,754
Get the hell out of here.
851
00:49:56,827 --> 00:50:00,388
Oh, yes!
Thank you, Blessed Roscoe.
852
00:50:00,430 --> 00:50:01,727
-What's that?
-Nothing.
853
00:50:01,765 --> 00:50:04,063
-Keep doing what you're doing.
-You got it.
854
00:50:06,336 --> 00:50:09,328
Hello. Yes.
855
00:50:12,342 --> 00:50:13,809
The kids, they left.
856
00:50:13,844 --> 00:50:15,812
We got to find out where
they are.
857
00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:17,814
l'm not feeling so good.
858
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:19,782
l'm a little nauseous.
Get me a cup of mint tea.
859
00:50:19,816 --> 00:50:21,374
Hello.
860
00:50:21,418 --> 00:50:23,318
Mona, could you please
do me a favor...
861
00:50:23,353 --> 00:50:26,322
and ask the Blessed Roscoe
if he knows where the kids are?
862
00:50:26,356 --> 00:50:27,618
Hold on a second.
863
00:50:27,657 --> 00:50:33,061
The Blessed Roscoe sees
their expectation to consummate.
864
00:50:33,096 --> 00:50:35,860
Oh, boy! Does he know where?
865
00:50:35,899 --> 00:50:42,270
He sees water,
a bed, the letter ''C.''
866
00:50:42,305 --> 00:50:44,671
-Uh-huh.
-That's it. l got to go.
867
00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:48,371
Three people have asked me
to try and make rain.
868
00:50:52,382 --> 00:50:54,850
Water, a bed, the letter ''C.''
869
00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:56,512
The letter ''C.''
870
00:50:56,553 --> 00:50:59,852
Mike, we got to get
to the Capri Motel...
871
00:50:59,890 --> 00:51:04,054
before they consummate
in a waterbed!
872
00:51:04,094 --> 00:51:06,358
How do you know they're there?
873
00:51:06,396 --> 00:51:08,387
Because it all adds up.
874
00:51:25,348 --> 00:51:28,681
My parents
are great in a crisis.
875
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:33,481
Wait right here.
l'll be right back.
876
00:51:33,523 --> 00:51:37,983
Ma! Pop! l need you
for some advice, huh?
877
00:51:38,028 --> 00:51:39,518
Ma!
878
00:51:44,367 --> 00:51:48,326
The only one home is my grandma,
and she's sleeping.
879
00:51:48,371 --> 00:51:51,340
You will not
ever leave me, will you?
880
00:51:51,374 --> 00:51:52,841
No.
881
00:51:52,876 --> 00:51:54,844
No, no. l love you.
882
00:51:54,878 --> 00:51:59,008
From the tip of my heart
to the depth of my soul...
883
00:51:59,049 --> 00:52:01,847
l love you.
884
00:52:01,885 --> 00:52:04,353
l'd like to see your room.
885
00:52:04,387 --> 00:52:06,548
Well, it's real messy.
886
00:52:21,872 --> 00:52:24,272
Be tender with me.
l'm a virgin.
887
00:52:24,307 --> 00:52:25,831
Ditto.
888
00:52:35,185 --> 00:52:37,653
-l don't see his car.
-Good.
889
00:52:37,687 --> 00:52:40,121
We're going to save them
from ruining their lives.
890
00:52:40,157 --> 00:52:41,818
Oh, Romeo!
891
00:52:41,858 --> 00:52:45,817
Romeo, wherefore art thou,
Romeo?
892
00:52:45,862 --> 00:52:49,354
The moon, Juliet.
l'm on the moon!
893
00:53:06,149 --> 00:53:08,845
Oh, my God!
l don't believe it.
894
00:53:08,885 --> 00:53:12,013
-ls it them?
-No.
895
00:53:12,055 --> 00:53:15,991
lt's Dr. Rondino
and Miss DeLuca.
896
00:53:35,378 --> 00:53:37,312
What does this mean?
897
00:53:37,347 --> 00:53:39,907
lt means up, down, up, down.
898
00:53:42,252 --> 00:53:44,982
They ain't coming here.
Let's go home.
899
00:53:45,021 --> 00:53:47,148
Water...
900
00:53:47,190 --> 00:53:49,852
bed, and the letter ''C.''
901
00:54:04,774 --> 00:54:08,835
Water, bed, the letter ''C''!
902
00:54:08,878 --> 00:54:11,779
''C'' for Cappamezza on the water!
903
00:54:11,815 --> 00:54:15,649
Mikey, they're in our house
on our water!
904
00:54:15,685 --> 00:54:17,778
You go look. l can't look.
905
00:54:17,821 --> 00:54:20,119
All right. l'll go look.
906
00:54:20,156 --> 00:54:24,320
l'm going to go look.
l left the candles burning.
907
00:54:26,329 --> 00:54:29,787
Rosario! Rosario!
908
00:54:29,833 --> 00:54:31,926
Who is it?
909
00:54:31,968 --> 00:54:34,232
lt's your mother and dad.
910
00:54:34,271 --> 00:54:38,367
l'm sleeping.
l'll talk to you in the morning.
911
00:54:38,408 --> 00:54:39,705
Get dressed
and get in the closet.
912
00:54:39,743 --> 00:54:41,005
Where's my underpants?
913
00:54:41,044 --> 00:54:42,807
Here. Where's my bra?
914
00:54:42,846 --> 00:54:45,076
Here's your bra,
and here's your panties.
915
00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:48,312
l know you're in there
with the girl.
916
00:54:48,351 --> 00:54:50,478
What makes you think that?
917
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:55,856
l can sense it
with my mother's intuition.
918
00:55:05,935 --> 00:55:08,836
There. He took her home,
and he was sleeping.
919
00:55:08,872 --> 00:55:11,067
Go back to bed, Rosario.
Come on.
920
00:55:15,312 --> 00:55:18,770
l feel bad l didn't trust him.
921
00:55:18,815 --> 00:55:21,443
l'm going to go back
and apologize.
922
00:55:21,484 --> 00:55:23,952
Rosario, please forgive--
923
00:55:39,803 --> 00:55:41,794
We love each other very deeply.
924
00:55:41,838 --> 00:55:44,807
She's through living a lie
to make her parents happy.
925
00:55:44,841 --> 00:55:47,810
And that is
why we slept together.
926
00:55:47,844 --> 00:55:51,473
You slept together?
927
00:55:51,514 --> 00:55:54,312
You didn't have sex, did you?
928
00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:56,581
No. They were
bobbing for apples.
929
00:55:56,619 --> 00:55:59,349
Oh, not Rosario.
930
00:55:59,389 --> 00:56:01,914
This girl, she's Juliet.
931
00:56:01,958 --> 00:56:05,621
l did this.
l left the candles burning.
932
00:56:05,662 --> 00:56:08,130
l misread the Blessed Roscoe's--
933
00:56:08,164 --> 00:56:09,631
All right. All right.
934
00:56:09,666 --> 00:56:12,134
Look, girlie...
935
00:56:12,168 --> 00:56:14,796
we're adults, my wife and me.
936
00:56:14,838 --> 00:56:19,673
You had a bisensual rendezvous
for two with my son...
937
00:56:19,709 --> 00:56:22,371
and you should wallow in it
tomorrow on the plane.
938
00:56:22,412 --> 00:56:24,403
What my husband
is trying to say is...
939
00:56:24,447 --> 00:56:28,907
just cherish the bliss you had
with Rosario in ballet school...
940
00:56:28,952 --> 00:56:32,513
and then maybe
in six or seven years...
941
00:56:32,555 --> 00:56:35,149
No. l do not
want to go to Paris.
942
00:56:35,191 --> 00:56:37,659
Yeah! And if she goes,
l go, too.
943
00:56:37,694 --> 00:56:40,162
What? You got
to graduate high school...
944
00:56:40,196 --> 00:56:42,664
to go to college,
And what about this summer?
945
00:56:42,699 --> 00:56:46,499
You and me were going
to cure pepperoni together.
946
00:56:46,536 --> 00:56:47,901
Are you trying to tell us...
947
00:56:47,937 --> 00:56:50,667
that you would give up
everything for this girl?
948
00:56:50,707 --> 00:56:53,175
Ma, do you want me
to be happy and live...
949
00:56:53,209 --> 00:56:55,234
or miserable and die?
950
00:56:55,278 --> 00:56:57,746
These are my only choices?
951
00:56:57,781 --> 00:56:59,874
Yeah.
952
00:56:59,916 --> 00:57:03,374
Excuse me a minute, please.
953
00:57:03,453 --> 00:57:06,388
Sadie, l can't talk now.
l got another client here.
954
00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:08,482
This is an emergency!
955
00:57:08,525 --> 00:57:10,493
So is this. Talk quick.
956
00:57:10,527 --> 00:57:14,156
Me and the Blessed Roscoe
have got our hands full.
957
00:57:16,166 --> 00:57:21,604
For seven years...sneaking
around in cheap motels...
958
00:57:21,638 --> 00:57:25,938
in forbidden bliss
on damp mattresses.
959
00:57:25,975 --> 00:57:30,344
Rosario says he doesn't want
to live without this girl.
960
00:57:30,380 --> 00:57:35,215
Why me? Why me?
961
00:57:35,251 --> 00:57:36,878
What am l going to do?
962
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:39,252
The Blessed Roscoe is poking me.
963
00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:41,621
He says we'll marry
when his mother dies.
964
00:57:41,658 --> 00:57:44,456
Could you hold it down
for a second, sweetheart?
965
00:57:44,494 --> 00:57:46,121
l'm trying to commune here.
966
00:57:46,162 --> 00:57:51,099
The woman is 94!
l may die before her.
967
00:57:54,737 --> 00:57:57,604
The Blessed Roscoe says
love is not enough.
968
00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:00,541
l thought he said
love is all there is.
969
00:58:00,577 --> 00:58:03,569
Love is all there is...
970
00:58:03,613 --> 00:58:06,776
but it's also not enough.
971
00:58:06,816 --> 00:58:08,306
What does that mean?
972
00:58:08,351 --> 00:58:11,184
l don't know, Sadie.
Figure it out.
973
00:58:11,221 --> 00:58:13,712
His old mother suffers so.
974
00:58:13,756 --> 00:58:18,591
Do you think you might have
some humane herbs...
975
00:58:18,628 --> 00:58:21,324
to help her to Heaven?
976
00:58:21,364 --> 00:58:25,926
The Blessed Roscoe and me
are healers, not hit men.
977
00:58:25,969 --> 00:58:29,097
Love is all there is.
978
00:58:29,138 --> 00:58:32,266
Love is not enough.
979
00:58:32,308 --> 00:58:36,244
Open this door.
l want to speak to your son.
980
00:58:36,279 --> 00:58:40,113
We demand to know
where our daughter is.
981
00:58:40,149 --> 00:58:42,276
Wait here.
982
00:58:42,318 --> 00:58:44,616
Open this door.
983
00:58:44,654 --> 00:58:46,485
My son ain't here.
984
00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:48,115
The car is in front.
We know he is in there.
985
00:58:48,157 --> 00:58:49,624
Quick, hide her.
986
00:58:49,659 --> 00:58:53,117
No. lt is time they found out
who l really am...
987
00:58:53,162 --> 00:58:56,131
and who made me true to myself.
988
00:58:56,165 --> 00:58:59,100
We will tell them, right,
Rosario?
989
00:59:01,104 --> 00:59:04,073
Alack, there lies more peril
in thine eyes, Juliet...
990
00:59:04,107 --> 00:59:07,133
than 20 of their swords.
991
00:59:07,176 --> 00:59:11,613
Don't be a sucker, Rosario.
Play dumb.
992
00:59:18,721 --> 00:59:23,158
Regina, what are you doing here?
993
00:59:23,192 --> 00:59:25,592
We have something
we want you to know...
994
00:59:25,628 --> 00:59:27,596
something very important.
995
00:59:27,630 --> 00:59:29,120
Tell them.
996
00:59:30,633 --> 00:59:32,260
Who, me?
997
00:59:34,337 --> 00:59:39,468
Please, come in.
Join us in our parlor...
998
00:59:39,509 --> 00:59:41,807
and we'll have
a little t�te-�-t�te talk.
999
01:00:01,097 --> 01:00:04,066
May l offer you a banana?
1000
01:00:04,100 --> 01:00:06,694
How about a gummy bear?
1001
01:00:06,736 --> 01:00:08,067
We don't want banana,
gummy bear.
1002
01:00:08,104 --> 01:00:12,700
We want to know
the A, B, C, and the D!
1003
01:00:12,742 --> 01:00:16,576
Did you ever see the episode of
''As The World Turns''...
1004
01:00:16,613 --> 01:00:22,074
where Emily tells Barbara
that she and Gavin had...
1005
01:00:22,118 --> 01:00:24,609
a mystical odyssey on the beach?
1006
01:00:24,654 --> 01:00:27,054
Or maybe you read
in the ''National Enquirer''...
1007
01:00:27,090 --> 01:00:29,081
about Cher
and her latest guitarist...
1008
01:00:29,125 --> 01:00:31,218
being caught on a motorcycle.
1009
01:00:32,996 --> 01:00:38,229
Well, Rosario and Gina...
1010
01:00:38,267 --> 01:00:39,859
unthinkingly,
while we were out...
1011
01:00:39,902 --> 01:00:46,398
they were swept away
in our house.
1012
01:00:48,811 --> 01:00:50,369
What?
1013
01:00:52,148 --> 01:00:54,639
What is she talking about?
1014
01:00:56,586 --> 01:00:59,077
They...
1015
01:01:00,590 --> 01:01:04,549
They had coitus that...
1016
01:01:04,594 --> 01:01:07,290
wasn't interruptus.
1017
01:01:07,330 --> 01:01:10,390
And now she don't want
to go to Paris no more...
1018
01:01:10,433 --> 01:01:13,664
or be a ballet dancer
anymore.
1019
01:01:16,606 --> 01:01:18,631
Have you lost your mind?
1020
01:01:18,675 --> 01:01:21,610
You throw away your life
for this?
1021
01:01:21,644 --> 01:01:23,236
You're getting on that plane...
1022
01:01:23,279 --> 01:01:25,247
if l have to drag you
by the hair!
1023
01:01:25,281 --> 01:01:26,908
You're making Gina cry.
1024
01:01:26,949 --> 01:01:29,577
She wants to be with me.
1025
01:01:29,619 --> 01:01:31,917
ls that such a bad thing?
1026
01:01:33,656 --> 01:01:37,592
-l'm going to kill you!
-Papa, l love him!
1027
01:01:37,627 --> 01:01:40,027
Let go of him! Hey!
1028
01:01:40,063 --> 01:01:42,031
Get back in that chair!
1029
01:01:42,065 --> 01:01:43,623
You want to scream and yell
like your wife...
1030
01:01:43,666 --> 01:01:45,133
you got every right...
1031
01:01:45,168 --> 01:01:47,227
but you choke my son again,
l'll throw you in the bay!
1032
01:01:47,270 --> 01:01:48,737
l can take
care of myself, Pop.
1033
01:01:48,771 --> 01:01:52,537
Shut up and sit down
before l choke you myself!
1034
01:01:54,243 --> 01:01:56,541
He ruin her.
He ruin my daughter.
1035
01:01:56,579 --> 01:01:57,978
He ruin everybody.
1036
01:02:00,083 --> 01:02:03,985
He did not ruin anybody!
1037
01:02:04,020 --> 01:02:05,248
He made me happy!
1038
01:02:05,288 --> 01:02:07,654
She's my dream come true.
1039
01:02:07,690 --> 01:02:10,022
You shut up.
l get my gun, l shoot you!
1040
01:02:10,059 --> 01:02:12,118
You ain't shooting anybody,
Count Dracula!
1041
01:02:12,161 --> 01:02:14,129
l am Count Dracula?
1042
01:02:14,163 --> 01:02:16,654
This whole family
is Frankenstein!
1043
01:02:16,699 --> 01:02:19,566
Please, let's not turn this
into a tragedy!
1044
01:02:19,602 --> 01:02:23,265
lt's a comedy because
they love each other.
1045
01:02:23,306 --> 01:02:26,104
And, look, l'm laughing.
1046
01:02:29,445 --> 01:02:32,141
Come on. You laugh, too.
1047
01:02:32,181 --> 01:02:34,115
Everybody laugh.
1048
01:02:40,223 --> 01:02:43,090
Don't you ever set foot
in my house again!
1049
01:02:43,126 --> 01:02:45,594
She don't mean you're a putana.
1050
01:02:45,628 --> 01:02:50,258
l do! l do!
And you'll get nothing!
1051
01:02:50,299 --> 01:02:55,362
You'll go from this world
the way you came--with nothing!
1052
01:02:56,739 --> 01:02:59,401
Please. Don't reject her.
1053
01:02:59,442 --> 01:03:01,410
l left the candles burning...
1054
01:03:01,444 --> 01:03:03,844
and now they love each other...
1055
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:05,438
and love is all there is.
1056
01:03:05,481 --> 01:03:07,073
You shut up!
1057
01:03:07,116 --> 01:03:09,141
l knew this was all your fault!
1058
01:03:09,185 --> 01:03:11,176
Candles! Voodoo!
1059
01:03:11,220 --> 01:03:13,051
God is going to punish you!
1060
01:03:13,089 --> 01:03:16,058
lt is not voodoo!
lt's love charms!
1061
01:03:16,092 --> 01:03:18,083
You're a witch! A witch!
1062
01:03:21,330 --> 01:03:23,059
You call me a witch?
1063
01:03:23,099 --> 01:03:25,067
Know what? l have lost
my patience with you!
1064
01:03:25,101 --> 01:03:26,898
Just get out of my house!
1065
01:03:26,936 --> 01:03:29,905
l will never
forgive you for this!
1066
01:03:29,939 --> 01:03:32,737
You'll hate yourself
for giving up the ballet!
1067
01:03:32,775 --> 01:03:35,938
l was only doing it for you.
1068
01:03:35,978 --> 01:03:41,109
l don't want you to give up
your talent for love like us.
1069
01:03:41,150 --> 01:03:45,416
That was your choice.
This is mine.
1070
01:03:46,856 --> 01:03:48,084
What about Rosario?
1071
01:03:48,124 --> 01:03:50,592
He's going to give up
everything for her.
1072
01:03:50,626 --> 01:03:52,116
That's right.
1073
01:03:52,161 --> 01:03:54,095
Everything?
Rosario have nothing.
1074
01:03:54,130 --> 01:03:55,597
He don't have a job.
1075
01:03:55,631 --> 01:03:58,998
He don't even have
a certificate of high school!
1076
01:03:59,035 --> 01:04:02,027
He's giving up his future,
where he has everything--
1077
01:04:02,071 --> 01:04:04,130
his high-school certificate,
fame, wealth!
1078
01:04:04,173 --> 01:04:06,368
Our business
will be his someday!
1079
01:04:06,409 --> 01:04:09,867
Huh? You are broke.
We check in the bank.
1080
01:04:09,912 --> 01:04:13,040
You owe $1 22,000...
1081
01:04:13,082 --> 01:04:15,915
and now everybody in
the whole neighborhood know...
1082
01:04:15,952 --> 01:04:18,819
that you are nothing
but a low-class Joe Blow!
1083
01:04:18,855 --> 01:04:22,052
How dare you call us
a low-class Joe Blow?
1084
01:04:22,091 --> 01:04:25,060
We are just as pretentious
as you will ever be!
1085
01:04:25,094 --> 01:04:27,289
And maybe the whole
neighborhood should know...
1086
01:04:27,330 --> 01:04:29,059
that you tried to sell
your title in ltaly...
1087
01:04:29,098 --> 01:04:31,658
and nobody would buy it!
We looked it up!
1088
01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:34,067
Son of a bitch!
1089
01:04:34,103 --> 01:04:36,435
l will throw you
and your wife in the bay!
1090
01:04:36,472 --> 01:04:38,030
Yeah? Come on! Try it!
1091
01:04:38,074 --> 01:04:41,237
-Don't stoop to their level.
-l want to give him beating.
1092
01:04:41,277 --> 01:04:42,767
They have no breeding!
1093
01:04:42,812 --> 01:04:45,337
-We breed plenty!
-Yeah!
1094
01:04:45,381 --> 01:04:47,349
But he deserves a beating.
1095
01:04:47,383 --> 01:04:51,080
l was champion of boxing
in the University of Bologna.
1096
01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:53,281
l give him a beating
he never forget.
1097
01:04:53,322 --> 01:04:56,052
You want a piece of me?
Come up here!
1098
01:04:56,092 --> 01:04:57,821
Now you've--
1099
01:04:57,860 --> 01:04:59,327
Come in the house!
1100
01:04:59,362 --> 01:05:00,954
No! l want him!
1101
01:05:00,997 --> 01:05:02,897
Piero!
1102
01:05:02,932 --> 01:05:05,025
l'm gonna kill him!
Let me at him!
1103
01:05:05,067 --> 01:05:06,534
l'm gonna kill him!
1104
01:05:06,569 --> 01:05:09,003
No, no. Leave them.
1105
01:05:09,038 --> 01:05:11,404
l'll strangle you!
Let me get my hands on you!
1106
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:12,839
l am exhausted.
1107
01:05:12,875 --> 01:05:14,365
l'm gonna punch him
right in the mouth!
1108
01:05:14,410 --> 01:05:16,378
You are stupid
and you are nothing!
1109
01:05:16,412 --> 01:05:18,846
Let me at him!
You chickenshit peckerhead!
1110
01:05:18,881 --> 01:05:20,940
You make me cup of coffee, no?
1111
01:05:21,951 --> 01:05:23,885
l hate them!
1112
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:26,047
l wish they were not my parents!
1113
01:05:26,088 --> 01:05:29,057
That's like wishing your foot
wasn't your foot...
1114
01:05:29,091 --> 01:05:31,559
just because
it's got a bad fungus.
1115
01:05:31,594 --> 01:05:34,563
l can never go back to them!
1116
01:05:34,597 --> 01:05:37,065
Maybe they're just
obnoxious temporarily, huh?
1117
01:05:37,099 --> 01:05:40,728
ln the meantime,
you'll be the daughter...
1118
01:05:40,770 --> 01:05:43,398
we always wanted.
1119
01:05:43,439 --> 01:05:45,407
l told you
my parents were great.
1120
01:05:45,441 --> 01:05:49,571
Look, now that she's under
our sexual auspices...
1121
01:05:49,612 --> 01:05:52,581
your behavior has got to be...
1122
01:05:52,615 --> 01:05:56,244
according to
the rules of Queen Victoria.
1123
01:05:56,285 --> 01:05:58,219
You know what l mean?
1124
01:05:58,254 --> 01:05:59,778
Kosher.
1125
01:06:01,624 --> 01:06:04,092
Here's one
of Grandma's bathrobes.
1126
01:06:04,126 --> 01:06:06,594
And you're going to sleep
inside there...
1127
01:06:06,629 --> 01:06:08,790
with Grandma in her bed.
1128
01:06:08,831 --> 01:06:11,823
You see,
sex is a gift from God...
1129
01:06:11,867 --> 01:06:15,359
and you two have chosen
to share that gift...
1130
01:06:15,404 --> 01:06:17,599
but now we're going
to take that gift...
1131
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,608
we're going to put it
back in the box...
1132
01:06:19,642 --> 01:06:21,610
and under the tree, OK?
1133
01:06:21,644 --> 01:06:26,308
Because Mikey and l,
we're responsible now.
1134
01:06:26,349 --> 01:06:29,682
l wish you were my mother,
Mrs. Cappamezza.
1135
01:06:33,656 --> 01:06:35,123
Good night, Gina.
1136
01:06:35,157 --> 01:06:36,624
Good night.
1137
01:06:36,659 --> 01:06:38,627
Good night, honey.
1138
01:06:38,661 --> 01:06:40,128
Good night, Ma.
1139
01:06:40,162 --> 01:06:41,629
Good night.
1140
01:06:41,664 --> 01:06:43,632
Good night, Pop.
1141
01:06:43,666 --> 01:06:46,635
-She's such a sweet girl.
-Yeah.
1142
01:06:46,669 --> 01:06:50,127
l think l handled it
as if love is not enough.
1143
01:06:50,172 --> 01:06:52,140
Let's get back
to what we was doing.
1144
01:06:52,174 --> 01:06:54,642
-What?
-You know...whoopee.
1145
01:06:54,677 --> 01:06:57,908
-We got to stand guard.
-What for?
1146
01:06:57,947 --> 01:07:00,916
We can't take a chance.
They're too overstimulated.
1147
01:07:00,950 --> 01:07:02,349
And what am l?
1148
01:07:12,128 --> 01:07:13,618
Gina.
1149
01:07:15,131 --> 01:07:16,393
Gina!
1150
01:07:16,432 --> 01:07:18,263
Rosario?
1151
01:07:18,300 --> 01:07:21,133
What's the matter?
l heard you crying.
1152
01:07:21,170 --> 01:07:24,071
l never talked back
to my parents before.
1153
01:07:24,106 --> 01:07:26,267
We bring out the best
in each other.
1154
01:07:28,144 --> 01:07:30,112
Will you always love me...
1155
01:07:30,146 --> 01:07:33,912
and choose me
over the other woman?
1156
01:07:33,949 --> 01:07:36,543
-What other woman?
-Your mother.
1157
01:07:36,585 --> 01:07:39,918
l'll never have to choose.
l love you both.
1158
01:07:39,955 --> 01:07:41,479
And she loves you, too.
You heard her.
1159
01:07:41,524 --> 01:07:45,688
Why did she say
we should not sleep together?
1160
01:07:45,728 --> 01:07:48,424
l am not a putana.
1161
01:07:48,464 --> 01:07:50,864
Your mother said that,
not mine!
1162
01:07:50,900 --> 01:07:52,367
You raise your voice to me?
1163
01:07:52,401 --> 01:07:53,766
-l did?
-Yes!
1164
01:07:53,803 --> 01:07:55,065
l'm sorry.
1165
01:07:55,104 --> 01:07:57,334
l'm sorry l insult your mother.
1166
01:07:57,373 --> 01:08:00,137
Our first fight.
1167
01:08:00,176 --> 01:08:02,110
Yes.
1168
01:08:02,144 --> 01:08:05,045
lt makes me hot.
1169
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,878
Me, too.
1170
01:08:19,795 --> 01:08:23,094
l still got the potato gnocchi
and the garbazel to cook.
1171
01:08:23,132 --> 01:08:25,100
The Fasuli-Baldilamente wedding
is a killer.
1172
01:08:25,134 --> 01:08:26,601
Where the hell's Rosario?
1173
01:08:26,635 --> 01:08:28,796
5:00. He ain't up yet.
1174
01:08:28,838 --> 01:08:30,100
He's probably tired...
1175
01:08:30,139 --> 01:08:31,606
from talking to her
through the window all night.
1176
01:08:31,640 --> 01:08:34,768
He's tired?
l got practically no sleep...
1177
01:08:34,810 --> 01:08:36,277
and when l did sleep...
1178
01:08:36,312 --> 01:08:38,212
l dreamed about you
and you know what.
1179
01:08:38,247 --> 01:08:40,078
Mike, come on.
1180
01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:43,984
We were on top
of the small banquet table.
1181
01:08:44,019 --> 01:08:48,115
l had one foot on the ground,
the other foot up in the air...
1182
01:08:48,157 --> 01:08:49,624
and with my other foot...
1183
01:08:49,658 --> 01:08:52,092
Oh, stop!
1184
01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:53,288
Good morning.
1185
01:08:53,329 --> 01:08:54,626
Good evening.
1186
01:08:54,663 --> 01:08:58,121
Go put the clams
in the Fra Diavolo sauce.
1187
01:08:58,167 --> 01:09:00,567
lt's too hard
staying away from Gina...
1188
01:09:00,603 --> 01:09:02,070
and it's stupid.
1189
01:09:02,104 --> 01:09:03,366
We already had sex together.
1190
01:09:03,405 --> 01:09:06,397
Why should she sleep
in Grandma's bed and not mine?
1191
01:09:06,442 --> 01:09:08,307
Because Grandma
can't get her pregnant.
1192
01:09:08,344 --> 01:09:10,471
-You can't keep me from her.
-Rosario.
1193
01:09:10,513 --> 01:09:14,813
Hey! lsabel Fasuli is here
with her mother in a panic.
1194
01:09:14,850 --> 01:09:17,250
l'm caught in the zipper, Sadie!
1195
01:09:17,286 --> 01:09:20,084
Her gown split open at
the church during the ''l Dos.''
1196
01:09:20,122 --> 01:09:24,081
She's been eating chocolates
for two weeks around the clock.
1197
01:09:24,126 --> 01:09:26,788
l'm nervous, Ma, OK?
1198
01:09:26,829 --> 01:09:28,694
Give me that chocolate bar.
Spit it in my hand.
1199
01:09:28,731 --> 01:09:31,097
This is what
we're going to do, Adele.
1200
01:09:31,133 --> 01:09:33,601
l'll take this cabbage rose
from the back...
1201
01:09:33,636 --> 01:09:36,537
and put it in the front...
1202
01:09:36,572 --> 01:09:39,564
then we're going to take
this big cabbage rose...
1203
01:09:39,608 --> 01:09:42,600
and l'm going
to put it in the back.
1204
01:09:42,645 --> 01:09:45,045
And nobody will know
that she gained a few pounds.
1205
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:47,207
How about twenty in two weeks?
1206
01:09:47,249 --> 01:09:49,809
Some of us gain weight
because we feel...
1207
01:09:49,852 --> 01:09:53,185
that if we have everything,
people will envy us.
1208
01:09:53,222 --> 01:09:55,452
Yeah, Ma. People envy me.
1209
01:09:55,491 --> 01:09:57,083
That's why l eat!
1210
01:09:58,594 --> 01:10:02,553
Go out and stun your guests
and surprise your enemies.
1211
01:10:02,598 --> 01:10:05,431
Wait, Ma.
l got to get my shoes.
1212
01:10:05,467 --> 01:10:07,367
Fidella, look out!
1213
01:10:07,403 --> 01:10:10,201
Watch what you're doing!
You almost killed another cat.
1214
01:10:10,239 --> 01:10:12,070
Don't you dare
eat another thing...
1215
01:10:12,107 --> 01:10:14,075
until you leave
for your honeymoon.
1216
01:10:14,109 --> 01:10:17,078
This is the last fitting
that l am putting Sadie through.
1217
01:10:17,112 --> 01:10:19,580
Mr. and Mrs. Cappamezza,
l want you to know...
1218
01:10:19,615 --> 01:10:23,073
that Rosario just burned
his finger in the kitchen.
1219
01:10:23,118 --> 01:10:28,078
l don't know what
you said to him about me...
1220
01:10:28,123 --> 01:10:32,617
but you hurt him
very, very deeply.
1221
01:10:46,141 --> 01:10:49,941
And now, for the first time
as Mr. and Mrs. Baldilamente...
1222
01:10:49,979 --> 01:10:53,142
please welcome lsabel and Vinny!
1223
01:11:16,305 --> 01:11:19,638
Vinny, that looks beautiful.
1224
01:11:19,675 --> 01:11:22,075
That cake looks
absolutely beautiful.
1225
01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:26,571
Ma, Pop! Everybody, listen up.
l just made a big decision.
1226
01:11:26,615 --> 01:11:28,583
l want the whole world to know.
1227
01:11:28,617 --> 01:11:31,142
Gina, there's something
l should have asked you...
1228
01:11:31,186 --> 01:11:32,744
from the moment
l first saw you.
1229
01:11:32,788 --> 01:11:35,552
-What?
-Will you marry me?
1230
01:11:44,933 --> 01:11:46,798
Now will you be my wife?
1231
01:11:46,835 --> 01:11:49,269
Oh, Rosario, yes, l will.
1232
01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:51,398
Congratulations!
1233
01:11:54,843 --> 01:11:58,006
Get back to work!
Everybody, get back to work!
1234
01:11:58,047 --> 01:12:00,538
-Are you crazy?
-l thought you'd be happy.
1235
01:12:00,582 --> 01:12:01,742
Happy?
1236
01:12:01,784 --> 01:12:03,684
We'd be happier
if you were out of high school.
1237
01:12:03,719 --> 01:12:04,947
You're still babies!
1238
01:12:04,987 --> 01:12:07,455
Telephone, Gina Malacici.
1239
01:12:07,489 --> 01:12:10,219
My body's addicted to her.
l got to get married.
1240
01:12:10,259 --> 01:12:11,556
You get married
when your brain is mature...
1241
01:12:11,593 --> 01:12:13,151
not just your pubic parts!
1242
01:12:13,195 --> 01:12:14,822
-More pigs knuckles.
-Coming up.
1243
01:12:14,863 --> 01:12:17,627
-No, you're too young.
-Ma, please.
1244
01:12:17,666 --> 01:12:19,566
lt's not legal.
1245
01:12:19,601 --> 01:12:21,569
lt is legal
with parents' approval.
1246
01:12:21,603 --> 01:12:23,298
Didn't we just say no?
This is annoying!
1247
01:12:23,339 --> 01:12:25,807
My parents
just gave their approval!
1248
01:12:25,841 --> 01:12:29,140
What? Last night
they hated Rosario's guts...
1249
01:12:29,178 --> 01:12:30,805
and they threw you
out into the snow.
1250
01:12:30,846 --> 01:12:34,782
They miss me,
and they want me to be happy.
1251
01:12:34,817 --> 01:12:36,512
More fried octopus
and zucchini sticks!
1252
01:12:36,552 --> 01:12:40,579
On the fire! lt's very nice
your parents miss you...
1253
01:12:40,622 --> 01:12:45,082
but if they gave their approval,
they got a couple screws loose.
1254
01:12:45,127 --> 01:12:50,064
My parents happen to be
highly cultured aristocrats!
1255
01:12:50,099 --> 01:12:53,557
They would never make
a cake like that!
1256
01:12:53,602 --> 01:12:58,164
This cake happens to be
our deluxe glamorama...
1257
01:12:58,207 --> 01:13:02,075
and nobody but us matches
the little plastic dolls...
1258
01:13:02,111 --> 01:13:03,544
to the live wedding party.
1259
01:13:03,579 --> 01:13:08,039
ln ltalia, these strawberries
with gold roses...
1260
01:13:08,083 --> 01:13:11,416
they would be a laughingstock!
1261
01:13:11,453 --> 01:13:14,547
Well, in these parts,
they're the cat's ass.
1262
01:13:14,590 --> 01:13:17,058
-More scungilli marinara!
-Ready to travel!
1263
01:13:17,092 --> 01:13:19,890
l think you miss your parents...
1264
01:13:19,928 --> 01:13:22,226
and that's why
you're acting so nutsy.
1265
01:13:22,264 --> 01:13:26,291
l am just trying to teach you
what's in bad taste.
1266
01:13:26,335 --> 01:13:28,462
More rice
and pepperoni fritters!
1267
01:13:28,504 --> 01:13:30,062
Coming up!
1268
01:13:30,105 --> 01:13:32,369
lf there's any one person...
1269
01:13:32,408 --> 01:13:33,568
who should be teaching
somebody something...
1270
01:13:33,609 --> 01:13:35,076
it should be me!
1271
01:13:35,110 --> 01:13:39,342
l'll have you know l starred
on ''Wedding Dos and Don'ts''...
1272
01:13:39,381 --> 01:13:42,077
on the local
City lsland cable channel...
1273
01:13:42,117 --> 01:13:44,585
where l pointed out
that bad taste...
1274
01:13:44,620 --> 01:13:48,283
was better
than no taste at all.
1275
01:13:48,323 --> 01:13:49,984
Am l right, Rosario?
1276
01:13:50,025 --> 01:13:52,585
Apologize to Gina
for calling her nutsy.
1277
01:13:52,628 --> 01:13:56,223
What? She just insulted
me and your father.
1278
01:13:56,265 --> 01:13:58,825
lt's true. Her parents'
decorations are less gabon.
1279
01:13:58,867 --> 01:14:00,562
Who's a gabon? l'm a gabon?
1280
01:14:00,602 --> 01:14:02,194
More pigs knuckles!
1281
01:14:02,237 --> 01:14:05,900
What the hell are these people
eating with, a shovel?
1282
01:14:05,941 --> 01:14:07,533
Mike, we got a problem.
1283
01:14:07,576 --> 01:14:09,544
l know.
We're out of pigs knuckles.
1284
01:14:09,578 --> 01:14:11,546
How come l hear
that the Malacicis...
1285
01:14:11,580 --> 01:14:13,548
offer my wife's brother
Jackie...
1286
01:14:13,582 --> 01:14:17,143
the exact same deluxe wedding
as lsabel for 50% less?
1287
01:14:17,186 --> 01:14:20,349
They're undercutting.
They lose money at that price.
1288
01:14:20,389 --> 01:14:22,220
The Malacicis
may use our menu...
1289
01:14:22,257 --> 01:14:24,054
but their portions
are so refined...
1290
01:14:24,092 --> 01:14:26,060
for people like you
and your families...
1291
01:14:26,094 --> 01:14:27,721
with large, gourmet frames...
1292
01:14:27,763 --> 01:14:30,163
l want a refund now...
1293
01:14:30,199 --> 01:14:32,360
or l will never do
another affair here!
1294
01:14:32,401 --> 01:14:33,595
And that goes
for all the Fasulis...
1295
01:14:33,635 --> 01:14:35,227
my wife's side,
the Laciannos...
1296
01:14:35,270 --> 01:14:36,567
her mother's side,
the Brunos...
1297
01:14:36,605 --> 01:14:40,097
the Baldimentes,
and the Macrogiovannis!
1298
01:14:40,142 --> 01:14:42,508
We can't.
We're paying off our loan.
1299
01:14:42,544 --> 01:14:44,011
Come help me!
1300
01:14:44,046 --> 01:14:46,571
lsabel threw up
doing the Alley Cat.
1301
01:14:46,615 --> 01:14:50,745
l told her not to stuff herself
with the pork in plum sauce!
1302
01:14:50,786 --> 01:14:52,947
Act casual.
Maybe nobody will notice.
1303
01:14:52,988 --> 01:14:56,082
Nobody will notice she has
vomit on her wedding gown?
1304
01:14:56,124 --> 01:14:59,116
Sadie, do something!
1305
01:14:59,161 --> 01:15:02,494
Here.
Wipe her off with this rag...
1306
01:15:02,531 --> 01:15:05,193
and hang this
car freshener on her.
1307
01:15:05,234 --> 01:15:06,861
lt's the latest thing.
1308
01:15:06,902 --> 01:15:10,030
Rosario, couldn't we talk
about this later, please?
1309
01:15:10,072 --> 01:15:12,540
Don't make him choose
between me and you!
1310
01:15:12,574 --> 01:15:14,542
That's not a very nice
thing to say.
1311
01:15:14,576 --> 01:15:16,043
lf we're old enough to want
to make love all day...
1312
01:15:16,078 --> 01:15:17,545
we're old enough
to get married.
1313
01:15:17,579 --> 01:15:19,444
lt's easy to make love all day
when you're not married.
1314
01:15:19,481 --> 01:15:21,039
lt's much harder
when you have to!
1315
01:15:21,083 --> 01:15:23,551
That's right.
Where are you going?
1316
01:15:23,585 --> 01:15:25,985
Her parents' house.
They want us to be happy!
1317
01:15:26,021 --> 01:15:28,546
You'd go live with
those sneaky sleaze bags?
1318
01:15:28,590 --> 01:15:31,423
How dare you say that
about my parents!
1319
01:15:31,460 --> 01:15:33,553
Keep quiet! l'm talking to him!
1320
01:15:33,595 --> 01:15:35,790
We speak the truth
because we love each other!
1321
01:15:35,831 --> 01:15:38,095
Yeah? Here's truth.
You're jealous of us.
1322
01:15:38,133 --> 01:15:39,464
And here's another truth--
1323
01:15:39,501 --> 01:15:42,595
l don't know if l want to be
in the catering business.
1324
01:15:44,806 --> 01:15:46,137
Hot stuff coming through.
1325
01:15:46,174 --> 01:15:48,574
l can't believe he left.
1326
01:15:48,610 --> 01:15:52,569
l can't believe he doesn't want
to be in the catering business.
1327
01:15:52,614 --> 01:15:55,913
They're ready for
the Polynesian pupu platters!
1328
01:15:55,951 --> 01:15:58,784
Hey, what happened?
1329
01:15:58,820 --> 01:16:01,880
Our heir apparent
just walked out on us.
1330
01:16:01,924 --> 01:16:05,587
What happened to the bird?
One of them keeled over.
1331
01:16:05,627 --> 01:16:07,595
Oh, my God. lt's the female.
1332
01:16:07,629 --> 01:16:09,597
Mary, Mother of God,
please save her.
1333
01:16:09,631 --> 01:16:11,599
Why are you so hysterical?
1334
01:16:11,633 --> 01:16:14,101
Don't you get the symbolism?
1335
01:16:14,136 --> 01:16:16,297
l jinxed the bird.
1336
01:16:16,338 --> 01:16:20,604
lf she dies, l will have
killed her with my thoughts!
1337
01:16:20,642 --> 01:16:21,973
Sadie, thoughts don't kill.
1338
01:16:22,010 --> 01:16:23,602
Please, Mike,
rush her to the vet...
1339
01:16:23,645 --> 01:16:26,614
and don't let her die, please!
1340
01:16:26,648 --> 01:16:30,584
OK, OK, OK.
l'll take her to the vet.
1341
01:16:32,254 --> 01:16:34,119
l can't come to the phone.
1342
01:16:34,156 --> 01:16:36,124
Having an out-of-body
experience.
1343
01:16:36,158 --> 01:16:38,626
Leave your name and number
after the beep...
1344
01:16:38,660 --> 01:16:43,120
and l'll call you back
before Saturn is in retrograde.
1345
01:16:43,165 --> 01:16:44,655
Oh, boy.
1346
01:16:46,201 --> 01:16:47,634
Let me tell you
a couple things...
1347
01:16:47,669 --> 01:16:49,296
about your mother-in-law
that you don't know.
1348
01:16:49,338 --> 01:16:51,135
She auditioned for
the original movie ''Jaws.''
1349
01:16:51,173 --> 01:16:54,939
Know why she didn't get it?
Her mouth was too big.
1350
01:16:57,212 --> 01:16:59,203
She walked over to
her girlfriend and said...
1351
01:16:59,247 --> 01:17:01,613
''l was stuck on the escalator
for 3 1/2 hours.''
1352
01:17:01,650 --> 01:17:04,278
-''Why didn't you walk down?''
-''l was going up.''
1353
01:17:04,319 --> 01:17:08,585
Monsignor, can l talk to you
for a minute?
1354
01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:10,592
Thank you.
1355
01:17:12,227 --> 01:17:16,061
An anonymous underage couple...
1356
01:17:16,098 --> 01:17:18,726
partook of
gratification coitally...
1357
01:17:18,767 --> 01:17:22,726
and l'd like to drop something
on their heads...
1358
01:17:22,771 --> 01:17:24,102
but l don't want
to be interfering...
1359
01:17:24,139 --> 01:17:27,597
and a bird, symbolizing
the female in this couple...
1360
01:17:27,643 --> 01:17:29,634
is at death's door.
1361
01:17:29,678 --> 01:17:31,976
Are you familiar
with the Blessed Roscoe...
1362
01:17:32,014 --> 01:17:35,313
the Merry Martyr?
1363
01:17:35,350 --> 01:17:41,812
No...but l have a feeling
Mona Barcavella is.
1364
01:17:41,857 --> 01:17:44,348
You don't think she's a nut,
do you, Father?
1365
01:17:44,393 --> 01:17:48,420
Sadie, there are people
who think l'm a nut.
1366
01:17:48,463 --> 01:17:53,127
First the Blessed Roscoe said,
''Love is all there is''...
1367
01:17:53,168 --> 01:17:57,104
and then he said,
''Love is not enough.''
1368
01:17:57,139 --> 01:18:00,074
That's the riddle of the Sphinx.
1369
01:18:00,108 --> 01:18:03,077
Love is all there is...
1370
01:18:03,111 --> 01:18:07,070
but when is love not enough?
1371
01:18:07,115 --> 01:18:11,950
l've been working
on that one myself.
1372
01:18:11,987 --> 01:18:15,787
That's so comforting
to know, Father.
1373
01:18:15,824 --> 01:18:18,088
l'll do this for you.
1374
01:18:18,126 --> 01:18:21,357
l'll give you another riddle.
1375
01:18:21,396 --> 01:18:26,800
Who are you
when you're not a mother?
1376
01:18:26,835 --> 01:18:29,633
When l'm not a mother?
1377
01:18:31,139 --> 01:18:32,936
Who am l?
1378
01:18:36,578 --> 01:18:39,638
Monsignor, l don't know.
1379
01:18:42,417 --> 01:18:44,612
Now let me tell you
about my mother-in-law.
1380
01:18:44,653 --> 01:18:46,280
This woman is so fat...
1381
01:18:46,321 --> 01:18:47,618
that she was crossing
King's Highway...
1382
01:18:47,656 --> 01:18:50,557
a truck went around her
and ran out of gas.
1383
01:18:50,592 --> 01:18:53,652
l'll tell you how stupid
my mother-in-law is.
1384
01:18:53,695 --> 01:18:57,722
She thinks mutual orgasm
is an insurance company.
1385
01:18:57,766 --> 01:18:59,563
Enough with
the mother-in-law jokes.
1386
01:18:59,601 --> 01:19:01,569
How about the gaga
that mother-in-laws...
1387
01:19:01,603 --> 01:19:03,571
put up with
from daughter-in-laws?
1388
01:19:03,605 --> 01:19:05,334
Nobody ever talks about that.
1389
01:19:05,373 --> 01:19:08,900
You stink.
Keep your mouth shut.
1390
01:19:08,944 --> 01:19:10,411
Who needs to listen to that?
1391
01:19:10,445 --> 01:19:13,243
My daughter-in-law, that strush.
1392
01:19:13,281 --> 01:19:15,010
Comedians--
they have no respect.
1393
01:19:15,050 --> 01:19:16,347
You're not even funny!
1394
01:19:16,384 --> 01:19:18,079
Wait. l'm just--
1395
01:19:18,120 --> 01:19:20,088
Get off the stage!
1396
01:19:20,122 --> 01:19:23,421
You stink!
Get the hell off!
1397
01:19:23,458 --> 01:19:25,119
lt was just a joke.
1398
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:27,628
You don't know dick!
You're not funny.
1399
01:19:27,662 --> 01:19:29,596
l got a son-in-law.
1400
01:19:29,631 --> 01:19:31,758
Get off! You stink!
1401
01:19:31,800 --> 01:19:35,600
Mama, Papa, they did not
want us to get married.
1402
01:19:35,637 --> 01:19:38,105
l really appreciate
your accepting us, Dad.
1403
01:19:38,140 --> 01:19:40,608
You don't mind me
calling you Dad, do you?
1404
01:19:40,642 --> 01:19:42,610
What are you doing?
1405
01:19:42,644 --> 01:19:44,612
Someday you will thank us.
1406
01:19:44,646 --> 01:19:46,773
Don't you come back here again!
1407
01:19:46,815 --> 01:19:48,612
We're locking her in her room...
1408
01:19:48,650 --> 01:19:51,118
and sending her to Paris
tomorrow morning under guard!
1409
01:19:51,153 --> 01:19:53,781
Good thing my father isn't here!
l'll kick you in the ass!
1410
01:19:53,822 --> 01:19:57,223
Burn this vulgar Cappamezza rag.
1411
01:20:23,251 --> 01:20:27,312
Rosario, you're back.
Thank God.
1412
01:20:27,355 --> 01:20:28,686
Her parents locked her up.
1413
01:20:28,723 --> 01:20:30,088
They're giving her
a police escort...
1414
01:20:30,125 --> 01:20:32,389
to the plane tomorrow.
1415
01:20:32,427 --> 01:20:33,894
lt's for the best.
1416
01:20:33,929 --> 01:20:35,089
Those people, they're poison.
1417
01:20:35,130 --> 01:20:38,429
lf she leaves,
l never want to see you again.
1418
01:20:40,135 --> 01:20:41,625
Rosario...
1419
01:20:42,637 --> 01:20:44,002
Rosario...
1420
01:20:44,039 --> 01:20:46,599
you know how much l adore you.
1421
01:20:46,641 --> 01:20:48,609
You don't get it, do you, Ma?
1422
01:20:48,643 --> 01:20:50,611
lt's over between us.
1423
01:20:50,645 --> 01:20:53,614
lt's her turn to adore me now.
1424
01:20:53,648 --> 01:20:58,085
So you came back. That's good.
1425
01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:01,055
What happened?
1426
01:21:01,089 --> 01:21:05,355
Her parents lied to them
about getting married...
1427
01:21:05,393 --> 01:21:08,556
and now they're sending her
to Paris tomorrow by force.
1428
01:21:08,597 --> 01:21:10,588
Ooh, are we lucky.
1429
01:21:12,167 --> 01:21:15,102
ls the bird going to be OK?
1430
01:21:15,136 --> 01:21:18,128
lt's got a broken wing.
lt's in shock.
1431
01:21:18,173 --> 01:21:21,108
With the X-rays,
we're up to 200 bucks.
1432
01:21:21,142 --> 01:21:23,804
The vet wants to know how much
we're willing to spend.
1433
01:21:23,845 --> 01:21:25,642
Everything we got!
1434
01:21:25,680 --> 01:21:30,447
Broken wing and shock.
1435
01:21:30,485 --> 01:21:32,248
What does this all mean?
1436
01:21:32,287 --> 01:21:35,381
Why does everything always
have to mean something, Sadie?
1437
01:21:35,423 --> 01:21:38,085
Everything isn't
always what it seems to be.
1438
01:21:38,126 --> 01:21:41,687
l'm looking for what really is.
1439
01:21:41,730 --> 01:21:45,166
l want to be a good person.
1440
01:21:45,200 --> 01:21:48,601
l don't want to change people
by pushing them.
1441
01:21:48,637 --> 01:21:51,936
l want to change them
with my love.
1442
01:22:08,890 --> 01:22:12,087
lf we get arrested for this,
l'll never tell...
1443
01:22:12,127 --> 01:22:16,063
because anything in
the name of love is God's work.
1444
01:22:16,097 --> 01:22:19,931
We're like holy warriors
and shit.
1445
01:22:19,968 --> 01:22:22,061
Heaven is here,
where Juliet lives.
1446
01:22:22,103 --> 01:22:24,970
Every dog and every cat
and every little mouse...
1447
01:22:25,006 --> 01:22:27,702
may look upon her,
but Romeo may not.
1448
01:22:41,289 --> 01:22:43,757
When Carmella distracts them
with the loud music...
1449
01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:45,589
l spike the sauce.
1450
01:22:45,627 --> 01:22:47,925
ln the confusion,
we snatch Gina away.
1451
01:22:47,963 --> 01:22:50,090
This is a great plan.
l love this plan.
1452
01:22:50,131 --> 01:22:54,124
l'm calling my potion
Rosario's Revenge.
1453
01:22:54,169 --> 01:22:56,137
Duck!
1454
01:22:56,171 --> 01:23:01,131
This is so exciting.
1455
01:23:01,176 --> 01:23:03,838
l humbly accept this award...
1456
01:23:03,878 --> 01:23:07,746
from the City lsland
Cultural Society.
1457
01:23:12,520 --> 01:23:15,045
-lt's not going to work.
-Are you kidding?
1458
01:23:15,090 --> 01:23:18,116
This stuff would kill the hairs
on a Calabresa's ass.
1459
01:23:23,298 --> 01:23:27,758
As ltalians, be proud
to be from the country...
1460
01:23:27,802 --> 01:23:31,101
that gave us Dante,
that gave us Da Vinci...
1461
01:23:31,139 --> 01:23:34,370
that gave us Puccini,
that gave us--
1462
01:23:37,612 --> 01:23:39,807
Michelangelo.
1463
01:23:39,848 --> 01:23:41,839
How crude.
1464
01:23:41,883 --> 01:23:45,512
Piero della Francesca,
Tintoretto.
1465
01:23:45,553 --> 01:23:48,613
Cappamezza sabotage.
1466
01:24:03,004 --> 01:24:04,699
Chase that calamari
away from here.
1467
01:24:04,739 --> 01:24:06,366
Chase them!
1468
01:24:13,381 --> 01:24:15,576
-l hope this works.
-Will you quit worrying?
1469
01:24:15,617 --> 01:24:16,879
There's hot peppers
in there...
1470
01:24:16,918 --> 01:24:18,977
my family's been marinating
since before Mussolini.
1471
01:24:19,020 --> 01:24:23,582
Oh, boy,
they're coming this way.
1472
01:24:24,859 --> 01:24:27,350
We're on our way.
1473
01:24:27,395 --> 01:24:31,832
As Shakespeare would say,
''May the merry farts begin.''
1474
01:24:40,608 --> 01:24:44,066
This is the last straw of
the Sicilian Cappamezza!
1475
01:24:44,112 --> 01:24:46,171
Destroy them!
1476
01:24:46,214 --> 01:24:48,375
l want you to bring them
to their knees!
1477
01:24:48,416 --> 01:24:50,077
l will bring them to their feet!
1478
01:24:50,118 --> 01:24:51,608
Let me at them!
1479
01:24:54,322 --> 01:24:57,291
What did l tell you?
lt's working like a dream.
1480
01:24:57,325 --> 01:24:59,555
Hoist yourself up.
l got you.
1481
01:25:02,697 --> 01:25:06,565
You came for me!
1482
01:25:06,601 --> 01:25:08,068
Quick.
Leave them this note.
1483
01:25:08,103 --> 01:25:09,695
l want them to think
we're committing suicide.
1484
01:25:09,737 --> 01:25:11,204
That way, when they find out...
1485
01:25:11,239 --> 01:25:12,934
we're just eloping,
they'll be grateful.
1486
01:25:12,974 --> 01:25:14,703
You are so smart.
1487
01:25:14,742 --> 01:25:16,175
Quick, climb down my back.
1488
01:25:17,178 --> 01:25:19,976
All right. Move it over.
1489
01:25:20,014 --> 01:25:23,450
My ear. That's my ear.
1490
01:25:23,485 --> 01:25:24,952
Oh, God.
1491
01:25:27,088 --> 01:25:29,056
Go, Vinny! Go, Vinny!
1492
01:25:29,090 --> 01:25:31,217
Vinny! Vinny! Go, Vinny!
1493
01:25:42,604 --> 01:25:45,971
Come on! Come on!
1494
01:25:47,609 --> 01:25:49,099
Run! Run!
1495
01:25:52,881 --> 01:25:57,113
-We got to hide.
-ln here, in the smokehouse.
1496
01:25:59,053 --> 01:26:02,511
l was looking for my pussycat.
You seen him?
1497
01:26:02,557 --> 01:26:04,582
Big orange guy, three legs.
1498
01:26:04,626 --> 01:26:07,595
Here, Tripod. Tripod.
1499
01:26:07,629 --> 01:26:11,065
Here, Tripod.
Where are you, Tripod?
1500
01:26:11,099 --> 01:26:13,067
Tonight's the night
for lsabel and Vinny
1501
01:26:13,101 --> 01:26:15,569
Tonight's the night
for lsabel and Vinny
1502
01:26:15,603 --> 01:26:17,730
Whoo, lsabel! Whoo, Vinny!
1503
01:26:17,772 --> 01:26:20,206
Tonight's the night
for lsabel and Vinny
1504
01:26:21,776 --> 01:26:26,076
The coast is clear.
l think we can get away now.
1505
01:26:26,114 --> 01:26:31,051
This time tomorrow, we'll be
in Tennessee and married.
1506
01:26:31,085 --> 01:26:35,579
We got to get to my car
before they get back.
1507
01:26:35,623 --> 01:26:37,591
l love what you've done.
1508
01:26:37,625 --> 01:26:40,093
l love that
we're tricking our parents.
1509
01:26:40,128 --> 01:26:42,096
They think they know everything.
1510
01:26:42,130 --> 01:26:45,588
Yeah. Who needs them?
We got each other.
1511
01:26:45,633 --> 01:26:47,601
Should we not be going?
1512
01:26:47,635 --> 01:26:50,195
We got time.
1513
01:26:50,238 --> 01:26:52,103
lsabel and Vinny gonna do
the wild thing
1514
01:26:52,140 --> 01:26:54,404
lsabel and Vinny gonna do
the wild thing
1515
01:26:54,442 --> 01:26:56,535
Whoo, lsabel! Whoa, Vinny!
1516
01:26:56,578 --> 01:26:58,944
Whoo, lsabel! Whoa, Vinny!
1517
01:27:00,915 --> 01:27:05,215
Not Marilyn! My cake!
What are you doing?
1518
01:27:05,253 --> 01:27:10,316
l'm gonna kill you!
l swear! What are you doing?
1519
01:27:13,394 --> 01:27:16,386
lt's OK.
l'm going to help you.
1520
01:27:18,499 --> 01:27:21,957
The wedding is ruined.
My life is over.
1521
01:27:22,003 --> 01:27:23,470
The Malacicis did this!
1522
01:27:23,504 --> 01:27:25,870
Let's go teach
those ass wipes a lesson!
1523
01:27:25,907 --> 01:27:29,070
Nobody makes a jerk out
of my baby lsabel!
1524
01:27:29,110 --> 01:27:31,078
l'll kill them!
1525
01:27:31,112 --> 01:27:33,774
Ooh, cannoli creme.
1526
01:27:33,848 --> 01:27:36,373
lf l get my hands on them,
l'll mash them...
1527
01:27:36,417 --> 01:27:39,284
l'll bash them,
l'll pulverize them!
1528
01:27:39,320 --> 01:27:41,083
Do you know what
this wedding cost me?
1529
01:27:41,122 --> 01:27:45,024
$22,500! Without the band!
1530
01:27:45,059 --> 01:27:47,254
Get them!
Get every frigging one of them!
1531
01:27:47,295 --> 01:27:48,990
Get those bastards!
1532
01:27:49,030 --> 01:27:51,999
l saved 15 years
for that beautiful wedding...
1533
01:27:52,033 --> 01:27:54,627
since her first Holy Communion!
1534
01:27:54,669 --> 01:27:56,136
Give me a hand.
1535
01:27:56,170 --> 01:27:59,867
Let's knock their new smokehouse
over on its ass! Heave!
1536
01:28:02,577 --> 01:28:05,045
-What's happening?
-l don't know.
1537
01:28:05,079 --> 01:28:06,637
We got to get out of here.
1538
01:28:06,681 --> 01:28:09,172
Heave!
1539
01:28:09,217 --> 01:28:11,185
We got them! We got them!
1540
01:28:11,219 --> 01:28:14,552
l think l pulled something.
1541
01:28:16,090 --> 01:28:17,557
Where's the door?
1542
01:28:17,592 --> 01:28:20,083
l don't know.
l think we're sitting on it.
1543
01:28:24,499 --> 01:28:28,731
OK, let's not panic.
l'll figure something out.
1544
01:28:30,271 --> 01:28:31,738
What is that smell?
1545
01:28:34,842 --> 01:28:38,471
Gas. A line must be broken.
1546
01:28:38,513 --> 01:28:41,448
Help! Help! Help!
1547
01:28:41,482 --> 01:28:43,143
Somebody help us, please!
1548
01:28:43,184 --> 01:28:45,550
Please! Mama! Papa!
1549
01:28:45,586 --> 01:28:48,077
Mommy! Daddy! Help, please!
1550
01:28:51,926 --> 01:28:55,487
Gina is gone!
She left this note!
1551
01:28:55,530 --> 01:28:56,690
''Dear parents...
1552
01:28:56,731 --> 01:28:58,289
''we don't want to live
without each other.
1553
01:28:58,333 --> 01:29:00,528
''Forgive us
for what we are doing.
1554
01:29:00,568 --> 01:29:01,728
''Rosario and Gina.
1555
01:29:01,769 --> 01:29:03,600
''Lovers forever
in life and death.''
1556
01:29:07,575 --> 01:29:09,042
lt's Rosario's handwriting!
1557
01:29:09,077 --> 01:29:12,706
He can't mean suicide!
1558
01:29:12,747 --> 01:29:14,544
You have to find our children!
1559
01:29:14,582 --> 01:29:16,777
Jimmy, put out an APB on them.
1560
01:29:16,818 --> 01:29:19,252
They can't have gone far.
Please, go do it!
1561
01:29:19,287 --> 01:29:23,053
Could the bird--
Could the broken wing mean--
1562
01:29:23,091 --> 01:29:25,582
-We got to go find them.
-Come on!
1563
01:29:25,626 --> 01:29:28,060
Help! Help!
1564
01:29:28,096 --> 01:29:29,324
Help!
1565
01:29:29,364 --> 01:29:33,664
lf they die,
l will never forgive myself.
1566
01:29:33,701 --> 01:29:38,070
Blessed Mother, Mikey and l
and our new acquaintances...
1567
01:29:38,106 --> 01:29:40,574
the Count
and Contessa Malacici...
1568
01:29:40,608 --> 01:29:45,944
ask you to please bring
our children home safely.
1569
01:29:45,980 --> 01:29:47,709
Please,
l'll go to church every week.
1570
01:29:47,749 --> 01:29:49,944
-l go with you!
-Oh, Gina!
1571
01:29:53,755 --> 01:29:57,521
lt's no use.
l can't find the leak.
1572
01:29:57,558 --> 01:30:01,153
l regret any moment
l've lived without you.
1573
01:30:01,195 --> 01:30:03,527
We'll be together forever
in the afterlife.
1574
01:30:03,564 --> 01:30:05,395
Always.
1575
01:30:07,301 --> 01:30:14,139
-l don't want to die!
-Help!
1576
01:30:14,175 --> 01:30:16,735
-Michael.
-What?
1577
01:30:16,778 --> 01:30:19,042
l promise,
if the children are all right...
1578
01:30:19,080 --> 01:30:22,675
we will divide the neighborhood
in equal part.
1579
01:30:22,717 --> 01:30:25,049
l will go after
only the upper echelon...
1580
01:30:25,086 --> 01:30:28,544
and you will go after
the people of your level.
1581
01:30:28,589 --> 01:30:31,057
You're a real fair guy
for a big snob.
1582
01:30:31,092 --> 01:30:32,821
l thank you very much.
1583
01:30:32,860 --> 01:30:37,593
Please, dear God,
send somebody to guide us.
1584
01:30:39,100 --> 01:30:41,398
Look! Quick, stop the car!
1585
01:30:48,276 --> 01:30:52,474
-Mona?
-l've been praying for you.
1586
01:30:52,513 --> 01:30:54,310
lt's a miracle
that you heard me.
1587
01:30:54,348 --> 01:30:56,816
Both of your kids is in danger.
1588
01:30:56,851 --> 01:30:59,752
But doesn't the Blessed Roscoe
know where they are?
1589
01:30:59,787 --> 01:31:02,187
The Blessed Roscoe
can't help you.
1590
01:31:02,223 --> 01:31:05,192
You are creating
the meaning to your life.
1591
01:31:05,226 --> 01:31:07,091
You got the power here.
1592
01:31:07,128 --> 01:31:09,596
You will find them, with this.
1593
01:31:09,630 --> 01:31:11,894
-This?
-Yes!
1594
01:31:11,933 --> 01:31:15,027
This and this and this
ain't enough anymore.
1595
01:31:15,069 --> 01:31:19,028
Now go!
You ain't got a second to lose.
1596
01:31:19,073 --> 01:31:20,631
Go!
1597
01:31:20,675 --> 01:31:22,540
Where are we to go?
1598
01:31:22,577 --> 01:31:24,670
l don't know, but we ain't got
a second to waste.
1599
01:31:29,150 --> 01:31:31,015
Help...
1600
01:31:31,052 --> 01:31:32,246
Help.
1601
01:31:33,888 --> 01:31:36,857
We have been around
this neighborhood three times.
1602
01:31:36,891 --> 01:31:39,018
Now we must go back,
check with the police!
1603
01:31:39,060 --> 01:31:40,550
A little longer, please.
1604
01:31:40,595 --> 01:31:43,086
l'm trying to find them
with this.
1605
01:31:44,599 --> 01:31:46,567
You all right?
1606
01:31:46,601 --> 01:31:48,091
Yeah. l fell down.
l hurt my arm.
1607
01:31:48,135 --> 01:31:51,070
l think your arm is broken.
1608
01:31:51,105 --> 01:31:53,073
-Mike.
-What?
1609
01:31:53,107 --> 01:31:56,565
Mike, it's me! lt's me!
1610
01:31:56,611 --> 01:31:59,512
l'm the bird
with the broken wing.
1611
01:31:59,547 --> 01:32:02,641
l'm the one
who has to be healed.
1612
01:32:02,683 --> 01:32:04,514
What is she talking about?
1613
01:32:04,552 --> 01:32:06,918
l don't know what
she is talking about.
1614
01:32:06,954 --> 01:32:09,013
They're not committing suicide.
1615
01:32:09,056 --> 01:32:13,516
lt's me that wanted to die
from losing him.
1616
01:32:13,561 --> 01:32:15,529
They're eloping.
1617
01:32:15,563 --> 01:32:17,531
Piero, turn the car around.
1618
01:32:17,565 --> 01:32:20,056
They're in danger!
1619
01:32:20,101 --> 01:32:21,625
You just said they're eloping.
1620
01:32:21,669 --> 01:32:24,035
Maybe they were,
but now they're in danger.
1621
01:32:24,071 --> 01:32:26,938
Look at the cloud.
1622
01:32:26,974 --> 01:32:28,441
Don't you see
the snorting dragons?
1623
01:32:28,476 --> 01:32:32,173
l don't see the clouds.
What is a snorty dragon?
1624
01:32:32,213 --> 01:32:34,443
Piero, turn the car around.
1625
01:32:39,253 --> 01:32:44,589
Thus with a kiss, l die.
1626
01:32:57,138 --> 01:32:59,003
They're here.
1627
01:32:59,040 --> 01:33:01,008
They're here.
1628
01:33:01,042 --> 01:33:02,509
Where? Where are they?
1629
01:33:02,543 --> 01:33:05,011
They're here somewhere.
l'm beginning to feel it,
1630
01:33:05,046 --> 01:33:08,812
Not just here or here
or here...
1631
01:33:08,849 --> 01:33:11,682
but here!
1632
01:33:11,719 --> 01:33:14,017
Over here! This way!
1633
01:33:14,055 --> 01:33:16,023
Which way? This way?
1634
01:33:16,057 --> 01:33:17,524
This way! This way!
1635
01:33:17,558 --> 01:33:19,526
Which way are you talking about?
1636
01:33:19,560 --> 01:33:21,551
No! Over here!
1637
01:33:23,931 --> 01:33:25,523
Listen.
1638
01:33:25,566 --> 01:33:27,898
l hear something.
1639
01:33:27,935 --> 01:33:29,402
l smell gas.
1640
01:33:29,437 --> 01:33:31,166
The smokehouse!
1641
01:33:38,179 --> 01:33:41,171
They got to be in there.
Grab that edge.
1642
01:33:41,215 --> 01:33:44,981
We got it! Push it down!
1643
01:33:45,019 --> 01:33:46,680
Pull it open!
1644
01:33:46,721 --> 01:33:51,317
Help. Let me out of here.
1645
01:33:51,359 --> 01:33:53,554
Push again.
1646
01:33:53,594 --> 01:33:55,562
No, no, no. Pull.
1647
01:33:55,596 --> 01:33:57,359
Push.
1648
01:33:57,398 --> 01:33:59,366
Open the door. Where's the door?
1649
01:33:59,400 --> 01:34:00,731
Pull!
1650
01:34:02,470 --> 01:34:04,028
Oh, God.
1651
01:34:06,540 --> 01:34:08,167
Thank you so much.
1652
01:34:08,209 --> 01:34:11,337
Jesus. l'm so sorry.
1653
01:34:19,053 --> 01:34:20,850
Where am l?
1654
01:34:20,888 --> 01:34:23,356
You're in the hospital.
1655
01:34:23,391 --> 01:34:26,519
This, l think,
you'll get a big kick out of.
1656
01:34:26,560 --> 01:34:29,996
You're on sedatives,
just like the bird.
1657
01:34:31,799 --> 01:34:33,767
l'm glad you're OK, Sadie.
1658
01:34:33,801 --> 01:34:37,259
l would have been indisposable
without you, you know.
1659
01:34:37,304 --> 01:34:39,534
l know, Mikey.
1660
01:34:41,108 --> 01:34:45,602
l am so happy
You're looking so well, Sadie.
1661
01:34:45,646 --> 01:34:47,841
From the bottom of my soul...
1662
01:34:47,882 --> 01:34:51,841
l want to thank you
that you find the children.
1663
01:34:51,886 --> 01:34:54,150
You are very spiritual.
1664
01:34:54,188 --> 01:34:57,214
Thank you, Piero.
1665
01:34:57,258 --> 01:35:02,491
l'm sorry for acting
so nutsy with you.
1666
01:35:02,530 --> 01:35:04,430
You forgive us?
1667
01:35:04,465 --> 01:35:07,195
That's what mothers are for.
1668
01:35:07,234 --> 01:35:09,998
We were too young
to get married...
1669
01:35:10,037 --> 01:35:13,006
but we believe the experience
has grown us up.
1670
01:35:13,040 --> 01:35:16,009
We want to get married
because we believe...
1671
01:35:16,043 --> 01:35:20,241
the meaning for you saving us
is so that we could be together.
1672
01:35:20,281 --> 01:35:23,978
What do you think, Monsignor?
1673
01:35:24,018 --> 01:35:31,982
At sixteen, sexuality
overwhelms other feelings.
1674
01:35:32,026 --> 01:35:36,258
Can they love
themselves enough...
1675
01:35:36,297 --> 01:35:39,164
so they can
love each other more?
1676
01:35:39,200 --> 01:35:42,033
Another mystery, Monsignor?
1677
01:35:44,538 --> 01:35:45,869
Mike?
1678
01:35:45,906 --> 01:35:48,739
l vote yes because
they got us over a barrel.
1679
01:35:48,776 --> 01:35:51,939
Maria? Piero?
1680
01:35:51,979 --> 01:35:54,106
One moment, please, eh?
1681
01:36:11,632 --> 01:36:14,601
They are in love.
That is a fact.
1682
01:36:14,635 --> 01:36:16,933
We agree to the marriage.
1683
01:36:18,539 --> 01:36:20,598
Under this condition...
1684
01:36:20,641 --> 01:36:25,874
the appetizer and the pasta
will be at your catering hall.
1685
01:36:25,913 --> 01:36:29,610
The entree and the dessert
will be at our catering hall...
1686
01:36:29,650 --> 01:36:32,312
and there will be
no smoke effect...
1687
01:36:32,353 --> 01:36:33,684
or the deal is off!
1688
01:37:03,117 --> 01:37:06,086
Before we begin our ceremony...
1689
01:37:06,120 --> 01:37:10,079
Rosario and Gina
have written their own vows...
1690
01:37:10,124 --> 01:37:14,151
and they'd like to make them
at this time.
1691
01:37:14,195 --> 01:37:17,596
l'm sure the marriage
will mature them real fast...
1692
01:37:17,631 --> 01:37:20,031
and everything
will be all right.
1693
01:37:20,067 --> 01:37:23,093
l promise that l will
never wear clothes...
1694
01:37:23,137 --> 01:37:25,105
that you don't think
l look good in.
1695
01:37:25,139 --> 01:37:27,607
And l promise
to give you the space...
1696
01:37:27,641 --> 01:37:30,508
to play your kind of music.
1697
01:37:30,544 --> 01:37:34,139
At least they're not on drugs,
except for each other.
1698
01:37:34,181 --> 01:37:36,615
l'd like to thank my parents
for making it possible...
1699
01:37:36,650 --> 01:37:38,618
for me to go to Paris with Gina
for four years...
1700
01:37:38,652 --> 01:37:41,120
to study acting at the
Comedie-Fran�aise during the day
1701
01:37:41,155 --> 01:37:44,454
and Cordon Bleu
for cooking at night.
1702
01:37:44,491 --> 01:37:46,789
And my parents,
for allowing me...
1703
01:37:46,827 --> 01:37:49,819
to study ballet
and archaeology...
1704
01:37:49,864 --> 01:37:51,627
and for supporting
me and Rosario...
1705
01:37:51,665 --> 01:37:55,032
while we find ourselves.
1706
01:38:04,411 --> 01:38:06,606
l hope they're going
to be happy, Mikey.
1707
01:38:06,647 --> 01:38:10,606
lf they're not...
1708
01:38:10,651 --> 01:38:12,949
it's really
none of our business.
1709
01:38:14,622 --> 01:38:17,182
l figured it out.
1710
01:38:17,224 --> 01:38:20,591
''Love is all there is''
means that love is real.
1711
01:38:20,628 --> 01:38:23,961
Love is the immortal soul.
1712
01:38:23,998 --> 01:38:26,125
So if you're a parent...
1713
01:38:26,166 --> 01:38:28,726
you let your children
follow their hearts.
1714
01:38:30,838 --> 01:38:33,102
And ''love is not enough''...
1715
01:38:33,140 --> 01:38:37,600
means that even if your kids
don't know what they're doing...
1716
01:38:37,645 --> 01:38:40,614
if you're a good parent,
you say...
1717
01:38:40,648 --> 01:38:44,448
''lt's OK. lt's your life.''
1718
01:38:54,028 --> 01:38:55,620
We release these doves...
1719
01:38:55,663 --> 01:38:59,429
and our love soars with them.
1720
01:38:59,466 --> 01:39:02,902
l think the birds being
so healthy and happy...
1721
01:39:02,937 --> 01:39:06,373
means that the kids
are going to be, too.
1722
01:39:14,915 --> 01:39:16,883
l wonder what that means.
1723
01:39:16,917 --> 01:39:22,583
l now pronounce you
man and wife.
1724
01:39:22,623 --> 01:39:25,615
You may kiss the bride.
1725
01:39:36,136 --> 01:39:38,127
Lovely.
1726
01:39:41,675 --> 01:39:44,109
And they all lived
happily ever after...
1727
01:39:44,144 --> 01:39:47,113
till last Thursday
around 3:00...
1728
01:39:47,147 --> 01:39:50,139
but that's another story.
126686
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