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(cars whirring)
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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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00:00:10,854 --> 00:00:13,854
(boat horn honking)
5
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- Treat the place like your own.
6
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Oh, and remember the downstairs toilet's
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00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:19,110
a bit tricky at the moment.
8
00:00:19,134 --> 00:00:22,263
It still works, but best
to use upstairs if you can.
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00:00:23,383 --> 00:00:24,866
Was there anything else?
10
00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:26,593
- Just try not to burn the place down.
11
00:00:26,617 --> 00:00:28,646
And when Julie says
treat it like your own,
12
00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:30,036
she doesn't mean literally.
13
00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:33,016
You're a guest, so stay in the guest room.
14
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Our room's out of bounds.
15
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No reason to go in there.
16
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Do you understand?
17
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- She'll be fine.
18
00:00:38,050 --> 00:00:39,116
No need for that tone.
19
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,788
- And try not to stay out too long.
20
00:00:40,812 --> 00:00:41,767
We've already had things stolen.
21
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:42,816
- Don't say that!
22
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,146
You'll scare her.
23
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,076
It's just a couple of
garments off the washing line.
24
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,046
Nothing really.
- No knickers or anything like that.
25
00:00:48,070 --> 00:00:49,207
- Yes, thank you.
26
00:00:52,141 --> 00:00:53,526
Thanks Annabelle.
27
00:00:53,550 --> 00:00:54,550
Look, here.
28
00:00:56,410 --> 00:00:57,486
- You don't need to give her that.
29
00:00:57,510 --> 00:00:58,396
She's been paid.
30
00:00:58,420 --> 00:00:59,230
- It's not much.
31
00:00:59,254 --> 00:01:00,993
- It's not a bloody charity case.
32
00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,386
- Would you just fucking let me do
33
00:01:03,410 --> 00:01:04,667
this one nice thing?!
34
00:01:08,740 --> 00:01:09,823
- God's sake.
35
00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:13,830
I'll be in the car.
36
00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:17,729
- Here.
37
00:01:17,753 --> 00:01:19,616
It's just for a bottle
of wine or something.
38
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,356
- Plenty of wine in the fucking house.
39
00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:22,190
- Yes, thank you.
40
00:01:22,214 --> 00:01:23,716
- It'd be nice to still have
some here when we get back.
41
00:01:23,740 --> 00:01:24,739
- Yes, thank you.
42
00:01:24,763 --> 00:01:26,326
- If you think you can control yourself.
43
00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:27,850
- Yes, thank you!
44
00:01:27,874 --> 00:01:30,180
Good night and thank you!
45
00:01:30,204 --> 00:01:31,287
- God's sake.
46
00:01:34,364 --> 00:01:35,999
- Thanks, Annabelle.
47
00:01:36,023 --> 00:01:37,023
Well.
48
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,848
(car starting)
49
00:01:50,090 --> 00:01:55,090
(door closing)
(mysterious music)
50
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,466
- [Annabelle] There are several advantages
51
00:02:13,490 --> 00:02:14,840
to home sitting for people.
52
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:18,156
There are the obvious upsides,
53
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,306
like drinking their booze,
54
00:02:20,330 --> 00:02:21,626
eating their food,
55
00:02:21,650 --> 00:02:23,566
going through all their private stuff,
56
00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:26,423
and shagging your new
boyfriend all over the place.
57
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,490
(Annabelle screaming)
58
00:02:29,514 --> 00:02:32,264
(glove snapping)
59
00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:35,506
There's also the fact
you get to basically live
60
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:36,926
in lots of different places
61
00:02:36,950 --> 00:02:38,563
that are all nicer than yours.
62
00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:42,096
If you've got the money,
you can buy a house.
63
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,653
If you haven't, you can get fucked.
64
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,666
That's the polarized state of things now,
65
00:02:47,690 --> 00:02:50,893
and we probably need a
revolution of some sort, but,
66
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,260
fuck it.
67
00:02:55,070 --> 00:02:58,456
There is another major plus
for someone like me though.
68
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,076
I get to rob them blind,
69
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:03,096
and I don't even have to try and break in.
70
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,736
I can't take anything big or obvious,
71
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:09,316
but earrings, broaches, that kind of thing
72
00:03:09,340 --> 00:03:11,206
is ripe for the taking,
73
00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:14,076
because they very easily
could be misplaced.
74
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,716
Particularly if it's
something that a lot of people
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00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:18,676
are likely to own.
76
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:20,836
I've even got a lucky charm bracelet,
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00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:23,756
which after house sitting
for a lot of people,
78
00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:25,763
I've got nearly all the charms full.
79
00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:31,546
Take a single fork, knife,
spoon from a number of houses,
80
00:03:31,570 --> 00:03:33,706
and you've soon got a full set.
81
00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:36,336
Then there's things that
are just useful anyway.
82
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,046
Like phone chargers, candles, batteries,
83
00:03:39,070 --> 00:03:40,886
and bathroom products.
84
00:03:40,910 --> 00:03:43,086
And the closest I ever
come to being caught
85
00:03:43,110 --> 00:03:45,120
is when they ask.
- I was just wondering.
86
00:03:45,144 --> 00:03:48,089
When you were here the other night,
did you notice a pair of cuff links?
87
00:03:48,113 --> 00:03:50,076
I seem to have mislaid them somewhere.
88
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:51,716
- To which I simply reply.
89
00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:53,296
No, sorry.
90
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,138
It must be in the house somewhere though.
91
00:03:55,162 --> 00:03:57,286
- Yeah, yeah, I'm sure
they're about somewhere.
92
00:03:57,310 --> 00:03:58,876
I guess they'll turn up.
93
00:03:58,900 --> 00:03:59,716
- Bye now.
94
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,549
- Thanks a lot, bye.
95
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,383
- [Annabelle] It's great.
96
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,236
I barely have to spend any time
97
00:04:03,260 --> 00:04:05,643
living in my crummy little bedsit at all.
98
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:12,956
And after all the hijinks, sex, theft,
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00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:16,726
more sex, mischief, and general
defiling of your belongings,
100
00:04:16,750 --> 00:04:17,933
you come home and say.
101
00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:19,093
- Thank you so much.
102
00:04:19,117 --> 00:04:20,481
We really appreciate it.
103
00:04:20,505 --> 00:04:22,797
- Here's a little extra something for you.
104
00:04:22,821 --> 00:04:23,722
- [Annabelle] That's right.
105
00:04:23,746 --> 00:04:24,796
- Thank you.
106
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:26,963
- [Annabelle] Even bloody tip me for it.
107
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:32,136
My mother always accused me
of doing things half-hearted,
108
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,810
and never committing to anything.
109
00:04:35,265 --> 00:04:36,303
Quite a good idea.
110
00:04:38,610 --> 00:04:41,216
Everyone's got stuff that they never use.
111
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,596
And as far as I'm
concerned, that's a waste.
112
00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:47,192
See, I'm not a bad person.
113
00:04:47,216 --> 00:04:51,233
I just take advantage of
what you take for granted.
114
00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:55,923
I'm your friendly,
neighborhood house sitter.
115
00:05:01,069 --> 00:05:06,069
- Simon?
116
00:05:08,205 --> 00:05:11,662
Simon?
117
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,686
Simon?
118
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:14,373
- [Simon] Hello?
119
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,397
- It's this one.
120
00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:20,240
- [Man] Yes, can I help you?
121
00:05:20,264 --> 00:05:21,074
- [Simon] Sorry about that.
122
00:05:21,098 --> 00:05:22,219
Wrong house.
123
00:05:22,243 --> 00:05:24,660
- [Man] What did you call me?
124
00:05:25,854 --> 00:05:27,187
Bloody hipsters.
125
00:05:29,464 --> 00:05:32,131
(lips smacking)
126
00:05:38,312 --> 00:05:39,121
- Safe.
127
00:05:39,145 --> 00:05:40,788
What's the house like then?
- It's all right.
128
00:05:40,812 --> 00:05:42,066
And it's ours for a week.
129
00:05:42,090 --> 00:05:44,823
- Fucking mint. (laughing)
130
00:05:49,010 --> 00:05:52,303
So, what are these ones like then?
131
00:05:52,327 --> 00:05:53,686
- A bit stuck up and weird.
132
00:05:53,710 --> 00:05:55,526
They put a list of rules on the fridge,
133
00:05:55,550 --> 00:05:58,466
and they banned me from
going into their bedroom.
134
00:05:58,490 --> 00:06:00,216
- So what are we supposed to do?
135
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,906
- Well, personally, I think
we should roll up the list
136
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:03,976
and smoke it.
137
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,546
But first, I want to go to their bedroom,
138
00:06:06,570 --> 00:06:09,740
and I want you to fuck me in their bed.
139
00:06:10,898 --> 00:06:13,481
(upbeat music)
140
00:06:17,207 --> 00:06:18,853
- They've got a trampoline.
141
00:06:18,877 --> 00:06:19,903
- Yeah.
142
00:06:19,927 --> 00:06:22,677
(Simon laughing)
143
00:06:40,606 --> 00:06:41,985
(Simon coughing)
144
00:06:42,009 --> 00:06:43,009
- Forfeit.
145
00:06:44,769 --> 00:06:46,116
- What's that?
146
00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:49,504
- It's the one where you don't know
whether it's Martin or
Charlie til the last page.
147
00:06:49,528 --> 00:06:51,290
(paper ripping)
148
00:06:51,314 --> 00:06:52,314
Eat it.
149
00:06:54,433 --> 00:06:56,099
- (groaning) Forfeit.
150
00:06:56,123 --> 00:06:58,206
Annabelle, that was shit.
151
00:07:00,574 --> 00:07:03,324
(Simon laughing)
152
00:07:10,536 --> 00:07:13,203
(both laughing)
153
00:07:43,809 --> 00:07:46,726
(doorbell ringing)
154
00:07:48,892 --> 00:07:50,077
Shit!
155
00:07:50,101 --> 00:07:51,388
- [Simon] What?
156
00:07:51,412 --> 00:07:52,746
- Well, you know when you take out a loan?
157
00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:53,579
- Yeah.
158
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:54,412
- And you don't pay it back.
159
00:07:54,436 --> 00:07:55,246
- Right.
160
00:07:55,270 --> 00:07:56,436
- Well if you ignore enough of the letters
161
00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:58,866
they start sending people
around to find you.
162
00:07:58,890 --> 00:07:59,857
- Shit.
163
00:07:59,881 --> 00:08:01,306
- This job's always been really good
164
00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:02,326
for hiding from them.
165
00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:04,247
And now this assholes tracked me down.
166
00:08:04,271 --> 00:08:05,986
(doorbell ringing)
167
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:07,187
You answer it.
168
00:08:07,211 --> 00:08:08,021
- What?
169
00:08:08,045 --> 00:08:10,746
- Yeah, tell him I'm at a funeral,
170
00:08:10,770 --> 00:08:12,696
and I'm completely distraught,
171
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,846
and totally uncontactable.
172
00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:16,466
- [Man] Hello?
173
00:08:16,490 --> 00:08:18,936
- Tell him I'm at a fucking funeral.
174
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:19,894
- Annabelle Hind?
175
00:08:19,918 --> 00:08:20,728
- Now.
176
00:08:20,752 --> 00:08:21,973
- Okay, I'm on it.
177
00:08:24,653 --> 00:08:25,462
(door opening)
178
00:08:25,486 --> 00:08:26,295
- [Man] Hello.
179
00:08:26,319 --> 00:08:27,129
- [Simon] 'Sup mate?
180
00:08:27,153 --> 00:08:28,416
- [Man] Yeah, I'm looking
for Annabelle Hind.
181
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,476
Is she in?
182
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:30,310
- [Simon] No mate.
183
00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:31,688
- [Man] So, she is staying here?
184
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,806
- [Simon] Yeah, but
she's not here, you know.
185
00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:35,596
- [Man] Where is she please?
186
00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:37,076
- [Simon] Funeral, very sad.
187
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,231
- [Man] Whose funeral?
188
00:08:38,255 --> 00:08:39,859
- [Simon] Old Aunt Bessie.
189
00:08:39,883 --> 00:08:41,016
- [Man] Aunt Bessie?
190
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,986
- [Simon] Yeah, yeah, very sudden.
- [Man] This is a serious matter.
191
00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:45,286
We need to talk to her urgently.
192
00:08:45,310 --> 00:08:46,256
- [Simon] Try tomorrow, mate.
193
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,089
- [Man] Tomorrow?
194
00:08:47,113 --> 00:08:49,536
She'll definitely be here, will she?
- [Simon] Yeah, mate, I just told you.
195
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:50,467
Tomorrow should be fine.
196
00:08:50,491 --> 00:08:51,946
- [Man] Very well.
197
00:08:51,970 --> 00:08:52,780
Your name is?
198
00:08:52,804 --> 00:08:55,457
- [Simon] I'm Simon, house sitter.
199
00:08:55,481 --> 00:08:58,806
(man mumbling)
200
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,749
- [Man] Okay, I'll be back tomorrow then.
201
00:09:01,773 --> 00:09:02,583
- [Simon] Okay.
202
00:09:02,607 --> 00:09:05,717
- [Man] Oh, and give my
condolences for her aunt.
203
00:09:05,741 --> 00:09:08,246
What was it again?
204
00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:09,171
- [Simon] Daisy.
205
00:09:09,195 --> 00:09:10,005
- Bessie.
206
00:09:10,029 --> 00:09:11,956
- [Simon] Bessie.
207
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:14,726
- [Man] Yeah, have a nice day.
208
00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,231
- [Simon] Good chat (mumbling).
209
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:17,064
(door closing)
210
00:09:17,088 --> 00:09:17,991
- What the fuck?
211
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:20,046
- Ninja.
Fucking ninja.
212
00:09:20,070 --> 00:09:21,866
- Why did you tell him
I'd be back here tomorrow?
213
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:23,329
- It got rid of him, didn't it?
214
00:09:23,353 --> 00:09:25,086
- But now he's gonna
be back here tomorrow.
215
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:27,916
- Anyway, that's fine.
We'll work something out by then.
216
00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:29,385
Don't worry.
217
00:09:29,409 --> 00:09:31,566
(dramatic music)
218
00:09:31,590 --> 00:09:34,316
- [Simon] What did you
take a loan for anyway?
219
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:37,316
- [Annabelle] Well, I had to
pay rent and get the car fixed.
220
00:09:37,340 --> 00:09:38,890
Just before I met you actually.
221
00:09:40,260 --> 00:09:43,378
But now the money's gone, and
I'm in no better position.
222
00:09:43,402 --> 00:09:45,996
And I've got debt.
223
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:48,070
And my landlord's breathing down my neck.
224
00:09:48,930 --> 00:09:51,436
- [Simon] Why is he
breathing down your neck?
225
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:52,886
- [Annabelle] Because I
haven't paid him any rent
226
00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:54,410
for the last couple of months.
227
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,516
- [Simon] Yeah, but that don't mean
228
00:09:57,540 --> 00:09:58,487
he can breathe down your neck.
229
00:09:58,511 --> 00:10:02,356
I mean, that's like sexual abuse, man.
230
00:10:02,380 --> 00:10:04,526
- [Annabelle] He's not literally
breathing down my neck.
231
00:10:04,550 --> 00:10:07,008
He's just threatening to kick me out.
232
00:10:07,032 --> 00:10:08,413
- Oh, bummer.
233
00:10:11,780 --> 00:10:13,127
This is good, though, innit?
234
00:10:13,151 --> 00:10:14,726
- What's good?
235
00:10:14,750 --> 00:10:17,269
- You looking after places, hanging out.
236
00:10:17,293 --> 00:10:19,163
Don't need to pay any rent for that.
237
00:10:20,090 --> 00:10:21,916
- Bit depressing though, isn't it?
238
00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:24,118
Not having a place of our own to go to.
239
00:10:24,142 --> 00:10:26,068
- But you've got a place.
240
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:27,646
- It's a bedsit, and a shit hole,
241
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,520
and I'm about to be kicked out of it.
242
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,813
- Well, let's get another place then.
243
00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:36,446
We can do that.
244
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,486
Get a place together.
245
00:10:37,510 --> 00:10:38,510
That'd be cool.
246
00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:41,696
- Well we can't because
I have zero pounds,
247
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,256
and you're broke and live in
your stepdad's spare bedroom.
248
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:45,686
- It's more like a cupboard actually.
249
00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:47,296
- Exactly.
250
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,736
I mean, we're screwed.
251
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,536
That's the reality of this.
252
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:51,946
If we want a place of our own
253
00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:54,420
then one of us is gonna
have to get a proper job.
254
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,626
- I've thought about it, and
255
00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,006
I don't want a job.
256
00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:01,975
- Neither do I.
- Then cool, well that's settled then.
257
00:11:01,999 --> 00:11:03,889
- No it isn't.
258
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,266
Getting a job is the only way out of this.
259
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:09,546
I mean, it's shit, but we
have to join the crap race.
260
00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:11,793
One of us has to get a proper job.
261
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:13,896
And neither of us wants one.
262
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:17,896
So, we play for it.
263
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:18,920
That'd be fair.
264
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,356
They've got a chess set.
265
00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:24,189
- Chess?
266
00:11:24,213 --> 00:11:25,107
- Yeah, we'll play chess,
267
00:11:25,131 --> 00:11:27,176
and loser gets a job.
268
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,724
Okay, we'll play strip chess,
how does that float your boat?
269
00:11:29,748 --> 00:11:31,496
Loser gets a job.
270
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:32,934
- Loser gets a job. (spitting)
271
00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:33,767
- Ew.
272
00:11:33,791 --> 00:11:34,600
- What?
273
00:11:34,624 --> 00:11:35,624
- Oh, never mind.
274
00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:42,476
- I don't like this game.
275
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,974
- It's not a game, it's a contest.
276
00:11:43,998 --> 00:11:45,423
- Well I don't like this contest.
277
00:11:45,447 --> 00:11:46,776
- You're only saying that
'cause you're losing.
278
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,356
- Yeah, but it's not fair.
279
00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:49,846
We're playing chess.
280
00:11:49,870 --> 00:11:50,996
- How's it not fair?
281
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:53,066
- I don't know how to play chess.
282
00:11:53,090 --> 00:11:54,733
- Really?
- Yeah.
283
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:55,819
- You don't know how to play chess?
284
00:11:55,843 --> 00:11:56,652
- No.
285
00:11:56,676 --> 00:11:57,485
- Like, at all?
286
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:58,319
- Yeah.
287
00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,416
- You're not just really, really shit?
288
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,250
- No.
289
00:12:00,274 --> 00:12:01,797
- Well, what do you know how to play then?
290
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:02,631
(pieces tinkling)
291
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,404
(dramatic music)
292
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:07,730
- Shit.
293
00:12:07,754 --> 00:12:09,224
- Yeah, I know.
294
00:12:09,248 --> 00:12:10,543
- I'm not feeling any better.
295
00:12:10,567 --> 00:12:11,377
- Me neither.
296
00:12:11,401 --> 00:12:12,617
- And we're at match point.
297
00:12:12,641 --> 00:12:14,156
- I hate match points.
298
00:12:14,180 --> 00:12:15,766
- Me too.
299
00:12:15,790 --> 00:12:16,906
- Say fuck it, and go to bed?
300
00:12:16,930 --> 00:12:18,636
- Yeah, fuck it, let's go to bed.
301
00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:21,174
(peaceful music)
302
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:22,542
- You know what we could do?
303
00:12:22,566 --> 00:12:24,606
- What's that?
304
00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:26,916
- We could house sit all over the world.
305
00:12:26,940 --> 00:12:28,246
Innit?
306
00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:29,603
No permanent address.
307
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,976
Get to travel to all these cool places.
308
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,866
Live in all these wicked places and stuff.
309
00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:36,890
No responsibility.
310
00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:39,556
Just got to make sure we
don't burn the place down
311
00:12:39,580 --> 00:12:40,896
and that.
312
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:42,006
- Sounds great.
313
00:12:42,030 --> 00:12:44,096
- Yeah?
Think it's a good idea?
314
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,746
- One snag though.
315
00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:46,580
- What's that?
316
00:12:46,604 --> 00:12:49,016
- Well, for us to be able
to afford a ticket anywhere
317
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,273
we need cash.
318
00:12:50,297 --> 00:12:51,276
- No, I know.
319
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:52,350
- We haven't got any.
320
00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:55,776
- I'm not playing chess again.
321
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,206
- I know.
322
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:58,683
- Stupid fucking chess.
323
00:13:00,698 --> 00:13:02,697
(moaning) You're really good at this.
324
00:13:02,721 --> 00:13:04,917
- What about your stepdad.
325
00:13:04,941 --> 00:13:06,956
- My stepdad's useless.
326
00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:08,996
Well he thinks I'm useless.
327
00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:10,976
- Well, doesn't he want
you out of the house?
328
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,086
- Well, yeah, but he
wants me to be unhappy
329
00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:14,663
even more than that.
330
00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:18,144
- Unfortunately, I think
you're probably right.
331
00:13:18,168 --> 00:13:20,456
- Something will come
332
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,826
along.
333
00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:22,817
Something big.
334
00:13:22,841 --> 00:13:24,542
- Not before I finish you off first.
335
00:13:24,566 --> 00:13:26,525
(Simon moaning)
336
00:13:26,549 --> 00:13:29,237
(laughing) One, two, three,
four, I won the thumb war.
337
00:13:35,157 --> 00:13:37,526
- There was this guy once,
338
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:38,606
I saw it on the telly,
339
00:13:38,630 --> 00:13:41,836
who left his clothes on the
beach and went out to sea,
340
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:43,657
never to be seen again.
341
00:13:43,681 --> 00:13:44,491
- Yeah?
342
00:13:44,515 --> 00:13:48,596
- Yeah, but it turns out he
hadn't gone out to see at all.
343
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:51,393
He just faked it so he
could go and do whatever.
344
00:13:52,490 --> 00:13:53,407
- That's nice.
345
00:13:53,431 --> 00:13:55,676
- Yeah, proper freedom, man.
346
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:58,113
Just out there in the world.
347
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,403
Except they found him, and
he ended up in The Nick.
348
00:14:08,101 --> 00:14:09,851
Didn't have to pay any rent though.
349
00:14:26,981 --> 00:14:29,731
(dramatic music)
350
00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:11,887
(door creaking)
351
00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:24,513
- Simon.
352
00:15:24,537 --> 00:15:28,204
I think there's someone
in the house, Simon.
353
00:15:36,633 --> 00:15:37,443
(man screaming)
354
00:15:37,467 --> 00:15:40,466
(Annabelle gasping)
355
00:16:15,820 --> 00:16:16,630
(glass breaking)
356
00:16:16,654 --> 00:16:17,816
- Simon?
357
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:18,649
Simon?
358
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:19,520
Wake up.
359
00:16:19,544 --> 00:16:20,354
- What?
360
00:16:20,378 --> 00:16:21,619
- Shut up.
361
00:16:21,643 --> 00:16:24,262
- I was shut up before you waked me.
362
00:16:24,286 --> 00:16:26,256
- I think there's someone downstairs.
363
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,149
- What?
364
00:16:30,173 --> 00:16:31,340
What was that?
365
00:16:32,489 --> 00:16:33,906
- It's a burglar.
366
00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:37,100
(Simon screaming)
367
00:16:37,124 --> 00:16:40,173
(Annabelle hushing)
368
00:16:40,197 --> 00:16:41,086
- Are you serious?
369
00:16:41,110 --> 00:16:42,943
A fucking burglar.
- Yes.
370
00:16:44,079 --> 00:16:45,007
- But we're the burglars.
371
00:16:45,031 --> 00:16:46,196
We were here first.
372
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:48,556
- I mean a real burglar, a proper one.
373
00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:50,630
They've broken in and they mean business.
374
00:16:51,489 --> 00:16:52,320
- No shit.
375
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:53,913
So what the fuck are we supposed to do?
376
00:16:53,937 --> 00:16:55,362
- Go and see them off.
377
00:16:55,386 --> 00:16:56,196
(Simon grunting)
378
00:16:56,220 --> 00:16:57,396
Here.
379
00:16:57,420 --> 00:16:58,230
Use this.
380
00:16:58,254 --> 00:16:59,866
- What, me?
- Yes.
381
00:16:59,890 --> 00:17:01,180
- But what if they, you know?
382
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:07,516
- What?
- Try and bum me.
383
00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:08,986
- They're not gonna
try and bum you, Simon.
384
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:10,216
- They're gonna bum somebody.
385
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,446
- They're not here to bum anybody.
386
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:12,886
There isn't gonna be any bumming.
387
00:17:12,910 --> 00:17:14,875
- You just said they broke
in and they mean business.
388
00:17:14,899 --> 00:17:15,709
- They're burglars.
389
00:17:15,733 --> 00:17:18,776
They're here to steal things,
that kind of business.
390
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:23,800
- Oh, yeah, right.
391
00:17:25,370 --> 00:17:26,846
- What's wrong?
392
00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:27,870
- I'm scared.
393
00:17:28,758 --> 00:17:31,107
- For Christ's sake, give me that.
394
00:17:40,255 --> 00:17:43,005
(floor creaking)
395
00:17:59,528 --> 00:18:00,831
What does that mean?
396
00:18:00,855 --> 00:18:02,283
- They do that in the films.
397
00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:05,296
- Okay, well, let's just
get downstairs, yeah.
398
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,740
- Yeah, yeah, that's what it means.
399
00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:14,467
(Simon crying out)
400
00:18:21,270 --> 00:18:24,020
(floor creaking)
401
00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:45,923
- Jesus!
- Christ!
402
00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:49,110
- She dead?
403
00:18:51,810 --> 00:18:53,053
- No, she's sleeping.
404
00:18:54,810 --> 00:18:56,546
Really bloody heavily too.
405
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:58,270
- Well, what shall we do with her.
406
00:19:00,450 --> 00:19:02,616
- Well she can't stay here.
407
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:03,940
Go on, help me get her up.
408
00:19:14,348 --> 00:19:17,226
(Simon breathing heavily)
409
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:20,036
- To be fair, she don't look
much like a burglar to me.
410
00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:22,556
- She's not gonna dress
like a burglar, is she?
411
00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:24,336
- My stepdad dresses like a mechanic.
412
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,016
- You're stepdad is a mechanic.
413
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,740
- Exactly, that's what I'm saying.
414
00:19:28,860 --> 00:19:30,376
Are you sure she's a burglar?
415
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,356
- No, she's a fucking Jehovah's Witness.
416
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:34,380
- Serious?
417
00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:40,763
Jehovah's Witness.
418
00:19:42,860 --> 00:19:45,726
- I've never had to deal
with a burglar before.
419
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:47,206
What should we do?
420
00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:48,666
- Call the pigs?
421
00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:49,896
- Can't call the police,
422
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,676
because then they'll
want to know who we are,
423
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:54,076
and then the Wallace's will find out.
424
00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:55,806
And this place is a tip.
425
00:19:55,830 --> 00:19:57,406
And my stash is here.
426
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:58,613
- Yeah, you're right.
427
00:20:03,989 --> 00:20:05,876
Let's get her outside and bench her.
428
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:06,877
- Bench her?
429
00:20:06,901 --> 00:20:09,234
- Yeah, just leave her
on a bench somewhere.
430
00:20:09,258 --> 00:20:11,363
- That feels a bit like dumping a body.
431
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:17,566
No, I don't like it, it's creepy.
432
00:20:17,590 --> 00:20:18,427
Plus it's cold out.
433
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,936
She might freeze to death or something.
434
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:20,787
- Who cares, Annabelle?
435
00:20:20,811 --> 00:20:22,226
She's a Jehovah's Witness.
436
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:23,059
- She's a cat burglar.
437
00:20:23,083 --> 00:20:27,106
- She made the choice.
- She's a fucking cat burglar, Simon.
438
00:20:27,130 --> 00:20:28,306
- So who's the Jehovah's Witness?
439
00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:30,763
- She's a fucking cat burglar, Simon!
440
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:32,700
I mean,
441
00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:38,484
well actually, you're right,
she did make her own choice.
442
00:20:41,910 --> 00:20:42,719
Fuck her.
443
00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:43,552
- Fuck yes.
444
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,537
That's what I'm talking about.
445
00:20:44,561 --> 00:20:45,543
Let's take her outside.
446
00:20:45,567 --> 00:20:46,377
- Whoa!
447
00:20:46,401 --> 00:20:51,400
Whoa!
(Simon screaming)
448
00:20:56,203 --> 00:20:57,203
- Oh shit!
449
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,392
(all gasping)
450
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,713
- The keys are on there.
451
00:21:12,949 --> 00:21:15,466
(Door opening and closing)
452
00:21:15,490 --> 00:21:16,300
- Yeah, that's right.
453
00:21:16,324 --> 00:21:17,713
You better run.
454
00:21:19,740 --> 00:21:21,352
- My God.
455
00:21:21,376 --> 00:21:22,186
- Yeah, I know.
456
00:21:22,210 --> 00:21:23,316
- We just had a burglar.
457
00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:24,506
- Yeah, I know.
458
00:21:24,530 --> 00:21:26,746
- I feel sort of violated or something.
459
00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:27,607
- See, I told you.
460
00:21:27,631 --> 00:21:29,433
She could've bummed us in our sleep.
461
00:21:30,610 --> 00:21:34,286
- I mean, she's been in
our, well, not our house,
462
00:21:34,310 --> 00:21:36,686
but our own personal space, you know.
463
00:21:36,710 --> 00:21:38,506
- Yeah, yeah, right.
464
00:21:38,530 --> 00:21:40,016
- I don't think I can sleep tonight.
465
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,596
- Yeah, me neither.
466
00:21:41,620 --> 00:21:43,616
- I might go and make
myself a milky coffee.
467
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:44,976
You know, keep myself awake.
468
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,709
Do you want one?
- No, I'm okay, thanks.
469
00:21:46,733 --> 00:21:48,406
I'm gonna go up in the attic,
470
00:21:48,430 --> 00:21:50,176
see if they've got an Xbox or something.
471
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,466
- Yeah, yeah, they may have
a man-cave or something.
472
00:21:52,490 --> 00:21:53,299
- Yeah?
473
00:21:53,323 --> 00:21:54,323
Fucking lush.
474
00:22:01,686 --> 00:22:03,095
(pot clanking)
475
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,067
(gas blowing)
476
00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:06,976
- [Simon] Annabelle?
477
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:07,977
- What?
478
00:22:08,001 --> 00:22:10,100
- You better come and look at this, quick.
479
00:22:11,470 --> 00:22:14,220
(dramatic music)
480
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,336
- Have you found some games or something?
481
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,360
- No, no, no, no, no, come look at this.
482
00:22:23,950 --> 00:22:25,113
- What the fuck?
483
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,186
- They've been spying on us.
484
00:22:28,210 --> 00:22:29,210
- Shit!
485
00:22:31,290 --> 00:22:34,733
Gods, they're either
paranoid, or they're perverts.
486
00:22:38,553 --> 00:22:40,403
They're perverts.
487
00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:42,713
Oh shit!
488
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:45,650
They've got me stealing from them.
489
00:22:50,589 --> 00:22:53,196
- Oh my God.
490
00:22:53,220 --> 00:22:54,220
- I know.
491
00:22:56,497 --> 00:22:58,116
- We look good, man.
492
00:22:58,140 --> 00:22:59,256
- Simon.
493
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:00,089
- Come on.
494
00:23:00,113 --> 00:23:03,246
We look good.
- They've got video of us fucking
on their dining room table
495
00:23:03,270 --> 00:23:04,386
in Julie's kimono.
496
00:23:04,410 --> 00:23:05,346
- You know what this means?
497
00:23:05,370 --> 00:23:06,180
- What?
498
00:23:06,204 --> 00:23:07,206
- We can make sex tapes.
499
00:23:07,230 --> 00:23:08,506
- We are not making porn.
500
00:23:08,530 --> 00:23:09,339
- Why not?
501
00:23:09,363 --> 00:23:10,172
It might be worth some money.
502
00:23:10,196 --> 00:23:11,106
- No.
503
00:23:11,130 --> 00:23:12,006
- That could be the job.
504
00:23:12,030 --> 00:23:13,972
- No.
- And,
we get to work together too.
505
00:23:13,996 --> 00:23:15,336
- No.
506
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,776
- I reckon it's a calling.
507
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,646
- Simon, this is not a calling.
508
00:23:18,670 --> 00:23:20,076
This is a very serious problem,
509
00:23:20,100 --> 00:23:22,106
and it needs to be dealt with seriously.
510
00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:23,130
- Well let's,
511
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,466
just delete it all then, yeah?
512
00:23:25,490 --> 00:23:26,626
- We can't delete it.
513
00:23:26,650 --> 00:23:27,943
If we delete it then they
know we've been up here
514
00:23:27,967 --> 00:23:30,926
and we've done something worth deleting.
515
00:23:30,950 --> 00:23:32,806
- Okay, so, I'll nick it all.
516
00:23:32,830 --> 00:23:33,654
- Nick what?
517
00:23:33,678 --> 00:23:34,488
- Everything.
518
00:23:34,512 --> 00:23:39,066
The computers, the cameras,
these gizmo thingies over here.
519
00:23:39,090 --> 00:23:40,266
- What, the hard drives?
520
00:23:40,290 --> 00:23:41,147
- Yeah, nick it all.
521
00:23:41,171 --> 00:23:42,511
- How are you gonna do that?
522
00:23:42,535 --> 00:23:47,535
♪ I move my bones in the red heat ♪
523
00:23:49,455 --> 00:23:53,705
♪ I chance my hand in the red heat ♪
524
00:23:59,902 --> 00:24:01,411
♪ Oh, try to break me ♪
525
00:24:01,435 --> 00:24:06,435
♪ Only you can save me, yeah ♪
526
00:24:06,817 --> 00:24:08,090
♪ Oh try to break me ♪
527
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,847
♪ Only you can save me, yeah ♪
528
00:24:09,871 --> 00:24:10,919
- Help me, there were three of them,
529
00:24:10,943 --> 00:24:12,838
and they were all ginger.
530
00:24:12,862 --> 00:24:13,672
(record scratching)
Hang on a moment.
531
00:24:13,696 --> 00:24:15,056
Why am I in my underwear?
532
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,216
And why are we blaming this on gingers?
533
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,596
- It will throw them off the scent.
534
00:24:19,620 --> 00:24:21,176
- Okay, first,
535
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,726
blaming it on gingers isn't
gonna throw them off the scent.
536
00:24:24,750 --> 00:24:28,566
Second, this house is
covered in your fingerprints,
537
00:24:28,590 --> 00:24:30,846
and a few specks of your spunk.
538
00:24:30,870 --> 00:24:34,008
And third, if you run away in my car,
539
00:24:34,032 --> 00:24:36,966
then you can't return with my car,
540
00:24:36,990 --> 00:24:39,306
and I don't want to lose my car.
541
00:24:39,330 --> 00:24:42,826
And lastly, the Wallace's
are away for a whole week,
542
00:24:42,850 --> 00:24:45,876
and if you think I'm gonna
spend six fucking days
543
00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:48,663
tied to a fucking chair,
you're a fucking idiot.
544
00:24:52,690 --> 00:24:55,926
- Oh, right, 'cause of like,
toilet breaks and that.
545
00:24:55,950 --> 00:24:57,407
You wouldn't be able to.
546
00:24:57,431 --> 00:24:59,866
(Annabelle huffing)
547
00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:03,665
- We need to find a way
of deleting the videos.
548
00:25:03,689 --> 00:25:05,486
But we can't look responsible.
549
00:25:05,510 --> 00:25:06,510
- That's right.
550
00:25:07,950 --> 00:25:09,726
- Or that we even know
about any of this stuff.
551
00:25:09,750 --> 00:25:10,750
- Amen, brother.
552
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,676
- So, we've got to erase the videos
553
00:25:15,700 --> 00:25:18,503
from just after the Wallace's left,
554
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,237
by making it look like
the system went down.
555
00:25:22,261 --> 00:25:23,746
- Yeah, boy.
556
00:25:23,770 --> 00:25:25,420
- And just didn't start up again.
557
00:25:26,620 --> 00:25:28,826
Questions is, how do we do it?
558
00:25:28,850 --> 00:25:29,850
- Power cut.
559
00:25:31,310 --> 00:25:32,336
- That's a good idea.
560
00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:33,786
- Is it?
561
00:25:33,810 --> 00:25:34,810
- Yeah.
562
00:25:36,090 --> 00:25:39,046
Except, the neighbor's would
know there wasn't a power cut,
563
00:25:39,070 --> 00:25:40,936
and Liam is the sort of
guy that would mention it.
564
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:42,443
- Yeah, he is a cunt.
565
00:25:43,650 --> 00:25:45,796
I know, let's just take
out the whole street then.
566
00:25:45,820 --> 00:25:47,864
- And how are we going to do that?
567
00:25:47,888 --> 00:25:48,797
- Grab your coat.
568
00:25:48,821 --> 00:25:50,396
- I don't have any coat.
569
00:25:50,420 --> 00:25:51,327
- Grab any coat then.
570
00:25:51,351 --> 00:25:53,163
- Wait, wait, wait, Simon.
571
00:25:55,130 --> 00:25:56,630
- Grab a brolly, it's raining.
572
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,600
- Seriously.
- [Simon] Come on!
573
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,840
(footsteps falling)
574
00:26:18,670 --> 00:26:19,670
- Simon!
575
00:26:24,220 --> 00:26:25,856
It's not even raining.
576
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,995
- Fuck, yes, this is it.
577
00:26:28,019 --> 00:26:30,769
(Simon laughing)
578
00:26:32,629 --> 00:26:33,996
- What the bloody hell are you doing?
579
00:26:34,020 --> 00:26:37,676
- Check it out.
Me and me mates, we used
to do this at school.
580
00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:38,856
We'd chuck stones at one of them
581
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,406
to see if we could knock out the power.
582
00:26:40,430 --> 00:26:42,626
So our parent's alarm clocks
wouldn't go off in the morning,
583
00:26:42,650 --> 00:26:45,075
and we'd get to miss school. (laughing)
584
00:26:45,099 --> 00:26:48,616
We used to spend all
evening doing it sometimes.
585
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:49,640
Happy days.
586
00:26:50,650 --> 00:26:52,586
- You used to knock out
the power with stones.
587
00:26:52,610 --> 00:26:53,806
- Yeah.
588
00:26:53,830 --> 00:26:54,933
- Did it ever work?
589
00:26:56,197 --> 00:26:57,197
- Yeah, good point.
590
00:26:58,020 --> 00:26:59,438
Or lob a rock at it instead.
591
00:26:59,462 --> 00:27:00,462
Here we go.
592
00:27:02,128 --> 00:27:03,435
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no!
593
00:27:03,459 --> 00:27:05,532
(Simon screaming)
(electricity sizzling)
594
00:27:05,556 --> 00:27:07,521
(Simon cheering)
595
00:27:07,545 --> 00:27:09,792
- Am I a ninja or am I a fucking ninja?
596
00:27:09,816 --> 00:27:12,855
(Simon yelling)
597
00:27:12,879 --> 00:27:13,936
Wait, what's up?
598
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,456
- We hadn't deleted the videos yet.
599
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,136
- Oh yeah, let's just
go back and do it now.
600
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:19,906
- Well, we can't because
you've thrown a fucking rock
601
00:27:19,930 --> 00:27:20,980
at the fucking power.
602
00:27:22,570 --> 00:27:24,046
- Oh shit.
603
00:27:24,070 --> 00:27:25,396
- You get it now?
604
00:27:25,420 --> 00:27:26,257
- That's a problem, innit?
605
00:27:26,281 --> 00:27:27,530
- Yeah, that's a problem.
606
00:27:29,670 --> 00:27:30,703
- Well I can still nick
everything if you say.
607
00:27:30,727 --> 00:27:33,186
- We're not blaming it on gingers.
608
00:27:33,210 --> 00:27:34,210
It's not gonna work.
609
00:27:38,950 --> 00:27:39,976
But maybe.
610
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:45,910
- Have you got an idea?
- Well, if we get a magnet and
run it over the hard drive,
611
00:27:46,390 --> 00:27:48,013
from a speaker or something,
612
00:27:49,730 --> 00:27:50,716
- Suck the videos out?
613
00:27:50,740 --> 00:27:51,766
- No, no, no.
614
00:27:51,790 --> 00:27:53,586
If we get a strong enough magnet,
615
00:27:53,610 --> 00:27:54,716
run it across the hard drive,
616
00:27:54,740 --> 00:27:56,403
it's what messes everything up.
617
00:27:57,950 --> 00:27:59,736
I mean, there's more damage
then I'd like to cause,
618
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,256
but they might,
619
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,283
might think it was caused by
the surge from the power cut.
620
00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:06,696
At least the power cut's legit now.
621
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,686
- Well, let's do that then.
622
00:28:08,710 --> 00:28:10,220
- I think it's the only choice we've got.
623
00:28:10,244 --> 00:28:12,979
- Okay, let's go.
624
00:28:13,003 --> 00:28:16,336
That was a good throw though, wadn't it?
625
00:28:22,058 --> 00:28:23,696
Looking forward to getting back in now.
626
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,076
- Yeah, me too.
627
00:28:25,100 --> 00:28:26,250
You gonna open up then?
628
00:28:27,380 --> 00:28:28,606
- I ain't got the keys.
629
00:28:28,630 --> 00:28:30,207
- Well, neither have I.
630
00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:33,823
Oh for Christ's sakes.
631
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:35,836
- So what, we can't get in?
632
00:28:35,860 --> 00:28:36,960
- No we fucking can't.
633
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,036
- Well, hang about, I'll lob
a rock through the window.
634
00:28:40,060 --> 00:28:41,786
- Oh, will you stop
lobbing rocks at things
635
00:28:41,810 --> 00:28:43,426
for five fucking minutes, please?
636
00:28:43,450 --> 00:28:45,806
- Okay, sorry, I'm only trying to help.
637
00:28:45,830 --> 00:28:48,286
- I just need a minute to think.
638
00:28:48,310 --> 00:28:49,453
- Okay, cool.
639
00:28:52,340 --> 00:28:53,540
I'll think too, shall I?
640
00:28:59,140 --> 00:29:00,940
It's getting proper cold now, innit?
641
00:29:05,043 --> 00:29:06,043
- (gasping) Wait!
642
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:08,816
I've got a car key.
643
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,976
- Aren't you like
massively over the limit?
644
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,259
- Well, yes, but I'm not
gonna drive anywhere.
645
00:29:13,283 --> 00:29:15,933
I was just gonna open the
car and turn the heater on.
646
00:29:16,980 --> 00:29:17,980
- Yeah, go on then.
647
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,000
(car doors closing)
648
00:29:29,830 --> 00:29:30,830
Hey.
649
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,163
Why don't we fake our own deaths?
650
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,756
Seriously.
651
00:29:36,780 --> 00:29:38,996
Then we're free to do whatever we want.
652
00:29:39,020 --> 00:29:40,406
You won't have to pay your debts no more.
653
00:29:40,430 --> 00:29:41,506
I'll tell my stepdad,
654
00:29:41,530 --> 00:29:43,356
actually fuck my stepdad.
655
00:29:43,380 --> 00:29:46,546
We can put our plan of traveling
into action, start afresh.
656
00:29:46,570 --> 00:29:49,286
That would be a good idea, wouldn't it?
657
00:29:49,310 --> 00:29:50,120
- What?
658
00:29:50,144 --> 00:29:51,266
And they won't think we've gone on the run
659
00:29:51,290 --> 00:29:52,466
when they find the recordings
660
00:29:52,490 --> 00:29:54,190
of us stealing from the Wallace's.
661
00:29:55,414 --> 00:29:56,514
- Oh yeah, good point.
662
00:29:57,532 --> 00:29:58,873
(humming) Tricky.
663
00:30:00,504 --> 00:30:02,706
- We can't fake our own deaths,
664
00:30:02,730 --> 00:30:04,691
and we can't go on the run.
665
00:30:04,715 --> 00:30:06,920
We just need to find a way
to get back into the house,
666
00:30:06,944 --> 00:30:08,666
without causing anymore damage,
667
00:30:08,690 --> 00:30:10,190
and that's all there is to it.
668
00:30:16,899 --> 00:30:19,436
- How'd the Jehovah's
Witness get into the house?
669
00:30:19,460 --> 00:30:20,407
- Cat burglar.
670
00:30:20,431 --> 00:30:22,883
- How'd the cat burglar
get into the house?
671
00:30:22,907 --> 00:30:25,873
I mean, if she can do
it, we can do it, yeah.
672
00:30:25,897 --> 00:30:27,143
- Are you a cat burglar?
673
00:30:27,167 --> 00:30:29,262
Do you know how to pick locks?
674
00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:30,756
- No.
675
00:30:30,780 --> 00:30:33,083
- Well, then that doesn't
really up then, does it?
676
00:30:41,177 --> 00:30:43,454
- It's getting proper cold now, innit?
677
00:30:43,478 --> 00:30:45,303
Could murder a cup of tea, couldn't you?
678
00:30:52,170 --> 00:30:53,087
- Simon?
679
00:30:53,111 --> 00:30:55,566
(Simon humming)
680
00:30:55,590 --> 00:30:58,040
When you left the house
did you turn the gas off?
681
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:00,280
- Didn't know it was on.
682
00:31:07,477 --> 00:31:09,653
Ah, the power's back.
683
00:31:10,555 --> 00:31:13,388
(house exploding)
684
00:31:26,790 --> 00:31:27,816
Lick it?
685
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:28,862
- Yeah.
686
00:31:28,886 --> 00:31:31,803
(car revving away)
687
00:31:39,323 --> 00:31:41,920
(bird squawking)
(airplane roaring)
688
00:31:41,944 --> 00:31:42,944
- Annabelle?
689
00:31:45,343 --> 00:31:46,343
Annabelle?
690
00:31:47,564 --> 00:31:48,564
Annabelle?
691
00:31:49,263 --> 00:31:50,419
Annabelle?
692
00:31:50,443 --> 00:31:52,889
Annabelle, Annabelle, Annabelle?
693
00:31:52,913 --> 00:31:54,286
- What?
- Hey, have you thought
694
00:31:54,310 --> 00:31:56,263
of an idea yet?
- No.
695
00:31:59,340 --> 00:32:00,836
- I tell you what.
696
00:32:00,860 --> 00:32:01,687
Now the house has exploded,
697
00:32:01,711 --> 00:32:05,036
it'll be a short sight easier
to fake our own deaths.
698
00:32:05,060 --> 00:32:07,210
And the sex tapes aren't
a problem anymore.
699
00:32:15,879 --> 00:32:16,879
What?
700
00:32:19,660 --> 00:32:20,853
- Do you love me Simon?
701
00:32:22,391 --> 00:32:23,798
(Simon grunting)
702
00:32:23,822 --> 00:32:25,443
Do you love me properly?
703
00:32:28,131 --> 00:32:30,136
- Sure, why not.
704
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:31,006
Ow!
705
00:32:31,030 --> 00:32:33,126
What was that for?
- What sort of answer was that?
706
00:32:33,150 --> 00:32:35,596
- Fine, I love you, whatever.
707
00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,223
- Would you do anything for me?
708
00:32:38,150 --> 00:32:40,286
- Depends what you've got in mind.
709
00:32:40,310 --> 00:32:42,066
- We could fake our own deaths.
710
00:32:42,090 --> 00:32:44,786
- Yeah, wicked.
- But it has to good.
711
00:32:44,810 --> 00:32:45,620
- Right.
712
00:32:45,644 --> 00:32:47,216
- So we have to do something first.
713
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:48,576
- What's that?
714
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,195
- We need remains.
715
00:32:50,219 --> 00:32:52,969
(dramatic music)
716
00:32:54,210 --> 00:32:56,123
Human remains.
717
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:58,200
- Okay.
718
00:32:59,769 --> 00:33:00,769
- Do you love me?
719
00:33:02,228 --> 00:33:03,228
- Yeah.
720
00:33:04,100 --> 00:33:07,021
- Do you love me, Simon?
721
00:33:07,045 --> 00:33:08,045
- Yeah.
722
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:14,827
- Do you love me, Simon?
723
00:33:18,820 --> 00:33:19,820
- Yes.
724
00:33:24,892 --> 00:33:27,642
(dramatic music)
725
00:33:32,917 --> 00:33:35,667
(dirt crunching)
726
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:45,136
- [Annabelle] Have you got it?
727
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:47,516
- Nearly.
There's lots here.
728
00:33:47,540 --> 00:33:49,032
It's not that bad, actually.
729
00:33:49,056 --> 00:33:52,106
- Just hurry up.
- I mean, it's not like
they're putting up a struggle
730
00:33:52,130 --> 00:33:53,196
or nothing.
731
00:33:53,220 --> 00:33:54,766
- [Annabelle] Just make
sure you get a head.
732
00:33:54,790 --> 00:33:55,926
- What's that?
733
00:33:55,950 --> 00:33:56,897
- [Annabelle] A skull or two.
734
00:33:56,921 --> 00:33:58,096
Skull's will sell it.
735
00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,306
- You could help.
736
00:33:59,330 --> 00:34:01,126
- I'm holding the torch.
737
00:34:01,150 --> 00:34:02,150
- Hang on.
738
00:34:03,521 --> 00:34:04,914
I think I got something here.
739
00:34:04,938 --> 00:34:06,121
- I can't believe we're doing this.
740
00:34:06,145 --> 00:34:09,355
(Simon grunting)
741
00:34:09,379 --> 00:34:12,926
- Hey, there you go, perfect.
742
00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:14,376
Hey, Annabelle, check it out.
743
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:16,933
- Oh my God, has it
still got brains in it?
744
00:34:16,957 --> 00:34:18,156
- Don't look like it.
745
00:34:18,180 --> 00:34:19,147
Smells a bit though.
746
00:34:19,171 --> 00:34:21,746
- Well, just put it in
the bag and fill it in.
747
00:34:21,770 --> 00:34:22,853
- Sure thing, boss.
748
00:34:26,059 --> 00:34:31,059
(Simon grunting)
(dramatic music)
749
00:34:34,352 --> 00:34:35,352
- Okay.
750
00:34:36,140 --> 00:34:38,823
So we go back to the house,
or what's left of it.
751
00:34:38,847 --> 00:34:40,976
Hopefully it should still be on fire,
752
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,463
or at least be a pile of burning embers.
753
00:34:44,940 --> 00:34:48,256
We throw the bag out of
the car, into the fire.
754
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,086
We only need to be there
for a couple of seconds.
755
00:34:50,110 --> 00:34:52,752
So if anyone sees us,
we're just a couple of
756
00:34:52,776 --> 00:34:55,263
bloody fly tippers or something.
757
00:34:56,240 --> 00:34:57,486
The bag'll burn, leaving the bones,
758
00:34:57,510 --> 00:34:58,870
which'll also get burned.
759
00:35:00,296 --> 00:35:02,726
When the Wallace's are contacted
760
00:35:02,750 --> 00:35:04,426
my name will be mentioned,
761
00:35:04,450 --> 00:35:05,666
and when I'm no where to be found,
762
00:35:05,690 --> 00:35:06,993
they'll just assume that
we died in the blast,
763
00:35:07,017 --> 00:35:09,363
and they'll be no need
for doing a DNA test.
764
00:35:11,350 --> 00:35:13,103
And then we should've gotten away with it.
765
00:35:14,140 --> 00:35:15,140
Kind of.
766
00:35:16,728 --> 00:35:18,496
I just hope we haven't left it too late.
767
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:19,337
- Sounds great.
768
00:35:19,361 --> 00:35:20,836
Can we get some food though, afterwards?
769
00:35:20,860 --> 00:35:21,860
I'm starving.
770
00:35:27,610 --> 00:35:29,196
- Oh shitting hell.
771
00:35:29,220 --> 00:35:30,961
- Fuck nuggets.
772
00:35:30,985 --> 00:35:33,735
(gears grinding)
773
00:36:03,687 --> 00:36:05,346
- Annabelle Hind.
774
00:36:05,370 --> 00:36:07,976
I spoke to Simon Hassiter yesterday.
775
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:08,996
I've returned this morning,
776
00:36:09,020 --> 00:36:11,466
and the bloody place has
been burnt to the ground.
777
00:36:11,490 --> 00:36:13,446
Now I hope you're okay, obviously,
778
00:36:13,470 --> 00:36:15,306
but if you are, you need to know,
779
00:36:15,330 --> 00:36:17,643
you are in a lot of fucking trouble now.
780
00:36:20,810 --> 00:36:23,736
- [Annabelle] We've really
turned a corner haven't we?
781
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:28,760
I mean, from petty annoys
burglary to grave robbing.
782
00:36:31,703 --> 00:36:34,320
I don't think you can come back from that.
783
00:36:34,344 --> 00:36:36,286
- Yeah, we're not planning
on making a habit of it.
784
00:36:36,310 --> 00:36:37,336
It's just a one off, innit?
785
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:38,360
- That's true.
786
00:36:41,450 --> 00:36:43,666
- So you want me to dump this lot in here?
787
00:36:43,690 --> 00:36:45,886
- Yeah, I think it'll be for the best.
788
00:36:45,910 --> 00:36:47,286
- You want me to lob the whole lot in?
789
00:36:47,310 --> 00:36:48,726
You're sure this time?
790
00:36:48,750 --> 00:36:50,143
- Yeah, just chuck it in.
791
00:36:50,983 --> 00:36:53,686
Throw it as far as you
can, so it goes deep.
792
00:36:53,710 --> 00:36:55,023
- Okay, no problem there.
793
00:36:58,267 --> 00:36:59,363
See you, boney.
794
00:37:00,473 --> 00:37:02,126
(water splashing)
795
00:37:02,150 --> 00:37:04,686
Actually, I feel a bit bad saying that.
796
00:37:04,710 --> 00:37:07,553
Might be someone's granddad
or auntie or something.
797
00:37:12,413 --> 00:37:13,955
Should we say a few words?
798
00:37:13,979 --> 00:37:15,029
- We can if you like.
799
00:37:19,180 --> 00:37:20,493
- Dear Harry Krishner.
800
00:37:21,700 --> 00:37:24,416
Sorry about the grave
robbing and all that.
801
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,756
Didn't mean anything by it, no offense.
802
00:37:26,780 --> 00:37:27,933
Just sort of happened.
803
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:33,246
Don't chuck this lady or
sweet old man out of heaven,
804
00:37:33,270 --> 00:37:36,116
or wherever it is you're from,
805
00:37:36,140 --> 00:37:37,840
just 'cause of our stupid mistake.
806
00:37:39,690 --> 00:37:42,386
Thanks for listening, and have a nice day.
807
00:37:42,410 --> 00:37:43,410
Love, Simon.
808
00:37:44,700 --> 00:37:45,510
Yeah?
809
00:37:45,534 --> 00:37:47,996
- Oh yeah, yeah, that
would definitely do it.
810
00:37:48,020 --> 00:37:49,046
- Starving hungry, my dear.
811
00:37:49,070 --> 00:37:50,037
Give us your phone.
812
00:37:50,061 --> 00:37:51,176
- What for?
813
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,856
- Just gonna check and see if
anyone's open for breakfast.
814
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:54,690
There's bound to be.
815
00:37:54,714 --> 00:37:56,116
Especially if we drive out a bit.
816
00:37:56,140 --> 00:37:58,563
Hey, you got a missed call there.
817
00:37:58,587 --> 00:37:59,776
- I know.
818
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,673
I know who it is, and I
don't want to talk to him.
819
00:38:02,697 --> 00:38:04,776
(phone ringing)
- Shit, it's the Wallace's.
820
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:05,666
What do I do?
821
00:38:05,690 --> 00:38:07,413
- Well, get rid of them.
822
00:38:07,437 --> 00:38:08,796
No, no, no, wait.
823
00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:11,339
Fuck.
(phone splashing)
824
00:38:11,363 --> 00:38:14,103
- What, what, what, what did I do?
825
00:38:15,690 --> 00:38:16,567
I'm not stupid.
826
00:38:16,591 --> 00:38:17,746
You let me chuck Aunt Bessie in there.
827
00:38:17,770 --> 00:38:20,316
- Well, why didn't you go
throw yourself in there then?
828
00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:23,333
- Yeah, but, it's fucking cold.
829
00:38:28,032 --> 00:38:30,256
- [Annabelle] When a relationship is new,
830
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,723
it's exciting and fun.
831
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:37,616
But as time passes, you encounter
more problems and issues.
832
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,816
Petty annoyances become
the bane of your life.
833
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:42,756
And when bigger problems arise,
834
00:38:42,780 --> 00:38:45,676
making you hate the situation you're in,
835
00:38:45,700 --> 00:38:49,250
you inevitably look at the
person you're with and think,
836
00:38:49,274 --> 00:38:51,233
would I be happier without you now.
837
00:38:53,330 --> 00:38:57,446
Would your absence provide the
solution to my predicament.
838
00:38:57,470 --> 00:39:02,226
Or maybe, would my own
absence be the welcome break
839
00:39:02,250 --> 00:39:03,363
I've been seeking.
840
00:39:04,210 --> 00:39:07,633
Just go away and forget it all.
841
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:11,120
Fucking hell.
842
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,523
How did things get this bad?
843
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,763
Oh yeah, I've got a dickhead in tow.
844
00:39:19,611 --> 00:39:21,836
- No, I've had enough all right.
845
00:39:21,860 --> 00:39:24,006
I'm sick of you always tagging along,
846
00:39:24,030 --> 00:39:25,786
and sponging wherever you can.
847
00:39:25,810 --> 00:39:27,396
You never commit to anything.
848
00:39:27,420 --> 00:39:29,366
You only ever do things half-assed.
849
00:39:29,390 --> 00:39:30,606
And you're no help.
850
00:39:30,630 --> 00:39:33,546
You just cause trouble,
and make a mess of things,
851
00:39:33,570 --> 00:39:35,093
and I'm sick of carrying you.
852
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:38,916
I just can't deal with it right now.
853
00:39:38,940 --> 00:39:40,073
It's too much.
854
00:39:42,269 --> 00:39:44,602
(sad music)
855
00:40:19,010 --> 00:40:20,253
- I said I was sorry.
856
00:40:22,439 --> 00:40:24,023
It was a mistake, all right.
857
00:40:25,530 --> 00:40:26,966
I didn't mean anything.
858
00:40:26,990 --> 00:40:28,533
- Christ, you're stupid.
859
00:40:30,758 --> 00:40:33,066
- You know, I don't even
know why you're even with me.
860
00:40:33,090 --> 00:40:34,716
I just piss you off all the time.
861
00:40:34,740 --> 00:40:36,526
I can't do anything right.
862
00:40:36,550 --> 00:40:37,513
You think I'm stupid,
863
00:40:37,537 --> 00:40:40,163
and you just get mad at
me when stuff goes wrong.
864
00:40:41,390 --> 00:40:42,516
I robbed a bloody grave for you.
865
00:40:42,540 --> 00:40:44,090
How many people could say that?
866
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,476
I do whatever you say,
but it just gets you mad,
867
00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:49,500
so I don't get it.
868
00:40:52,854 --> 00:40:53,886
If I'm such a pain the arse,
869
00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:55,863
why are you even with me at all?
870
00:41:00,210 --> 00:41:01,660
- 'Cause you have a big cock.
871
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,093
It fits, and I like it.
872
00:41:08,710 --> 00:41:09,710
- Okay then.
873
00:41:15,030 --> 00:41:16,866
- Why do you like me?
874
00:41:16,890 --> 00:41:17,896
Seems we're asking.
875
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,676
- Well, you're great.
876
00:41:19,700 --> 00:41:21,553
I mean, you're smart, I like that.
877
00:41:21,577 --> 00:41:23,946
And you're a criminal,
that's pretty exciting.
878
00:41:23,970 --> 00:41:25,046
- I'm exciting.
- [Simon] Yeah.
879
00:41:25,070 --> 00:41:26,916
- I'm not exciting.
880
00:41:26,940 --> 00:41:27,750
- Are you kidding me?
881
00:41:27,774 --> 00:41:29,516
You just blew up a whole house.
882
00:41:29,540 --> 00:41:30,806
That's amazing.
883
00:41:30,830 --> 00:41:32,186
I mean, yeah, that sounds terribly fucked,
884
00:41:32,210 --> 00:41:34,316
but you'll come up with something.
885
00:41:34,340 --> 00:41:35,150
- Really?
886
00:41:35,174 --> 00:41:36,496
- Yeah, you'll come up with something.
887
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,536
I'll have to do a bunch of weird stuff,
888
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:39,746
and then we'll be sorted.
889
00:41:39,770 --> 00:41:41,116
That's how it works, innit?
890
00:41:41,140 --> 00:41:42,140
We're a team.
891
00:41:49,448 --> 00:41:52,530
And there's a whole wide
world open out there.
892
00:41:54,950 --> 00:41:55,950
We just gotta
893
00:41:57,194 --> 00:41:58,194
open it.
894
00:42:13,505 --> 00:42:15,097
- Shit!
895
00:42:15,121 --> 00:42:16,026
- Well, shall we go help?
896
00:42:16,050 --> 00:42:17,050
- Yeah.
897
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:27,427
- Oh my God.
898
00:42:27,451 --> 00:42:28,986
- Fuck a duck.
899
00:42:29,010 --> 00:42:30,346
It's the Jehovah's Witness.
900
00:42:30,370 --> 00:42:31,370
- Cat burglar.
901
00:42:32,790 --> 00:42:33,600
- What shall we do?
902
00:42:33,624 --> 00:42:35,666
- I don't know about you,
but after last night,
903
00:42:35,690 --> 00:42:37,066
I'd quite like some closure.
904
00:42:37,090 --> 00:42:38,936
- What's that?
- You know, closure.
905
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:40,766
- No, I mean what is that?
906
00:42:40,790 --> 00:42:42,246
- Getting over it.
907
00:42:42,270 --> 00:42:43,286
Moving on.
908
00:42:43,310 --> 00:42:44,403
Drawing a line.
909
00:42:45,250 --> 00:42:46,250
Understanding?
910
00:42:48,030 --> 00:42:50,326
I think we should talk to her.
- What?
Fuck that, Annabelle.
911
00:42:50,350 --> 00:42:51,160
- Well, don't you want to know
912
00:42:51,184 --> 00:42:53,486
how she got into the house last night?
913
00:42:53,510 --> 00:42:55,006
- Actually, that would be cool.
914
00:42:55,030 --> 00:42:56,673
- Exactly.
Come on.
915
00:42:56,697 --> 00:42:58,266
Help me get her up.
916
00:42:58,290 --> 00:43:00,373
- Christ, that's heavier than she is.
917
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,653
Isn't she gonna like go crazy
when she wakes up and sees us?
918
00:43:11,677 --> 00:43:12,906
- Maybe.
919
00:43:12,930 --> 00:43:14,983
But we could tell her
that we're burglars too.
920
00:43:15,007 --> 00:43:17,006
- Are we proper burglars now?
921
00:43:17,030 --> 00:43:18,736
- No, but we'll tell her that.
922
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:20,186
We'll say we saw her collapse,
923
00:43:20,210 --> 00:43:22,706
and we wanted to check
to see if she was okay.
924
00:43:22,730 --> 00:43:24,176
Friendly like.
925
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,010
Once she's settled,
926
00:43:25,034 --> 00:43:27,796
then we'll ask her about
the house last night.
927
00:43:27,820 --> 00:43:30,408
- So how long do you think
she'll be asleep for this time?
928
00:43:30,432 --> 00:43:31,682
- I don't know.
929
00:43:32,882 --> 00:43:34,066
- What's in the bag do you think?
930
00:43:34,090 --> 00:43:35,296
Swag probably.
931
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:36,916
You know, stuff she's stolen.
932
00:43:36,940 --> 00:43:38,246
- Let's take a look.
- No, don't.
933
00:43:38,270 --> 00:43:39,436
- It might be worth something.
934
00:43:39,460 --> 00:43:40,919
We could do a runner.
935
00:43:40,943 --> 00:43:43,149
- Where are we gonna sell it?
936
00:43:43,173 --> 00:43:45,206
- Well, eBay.
937
00:43:45,230 --> 00:43:46,686
- No, we need cash now.
938
00:43:46,710 --> 00:43:49,486
Not in a few days, and
not into some account.
939
00:43:49,510 --> 00:43:50,506
- That's a shame.
940
00:43:50,530 --> 00:43:51,530
- Yeah, I know.
941
00:43:52,343 --> 00:43:54,756
- There might be some
cash in there though.
942
00:43:54,780 --> 00:43:55,696
- Maybe.
943
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:56,530
- Should I check it out?
944
00:43:56,554 --> 00:43:57,583
- Yeah, go on.
945
00:44:00,324 --> 00:44:02,270
- There's probably not any cash in here.
946
00:44:03,873 --> 00:44:05,608
Nope, there's no cash.
947
00:44:05,632 --> 00:44:07,288
- What is in there?
948
00:44:07,312 --> 00:44:08,812
- Just a bunch of crap really.
949
00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:11,468
Stuff she's nicked.
950
00:44:11,492 --> 00:44:13,008
(mumbling) nothing.
951
00:44:13,032 --> 00:44:14,675
(Cat burglar gasping)
Well, shit!
952
00:44:14,699 --> 00:44:16,053
(Cat burglar and Simon screaming)
953
00:44:16,077 --> 00:44:17,775
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
954
00:44:17,799 --> 00:44:18,686
It's okay.
955
00:44:18,710 --> 00:44:19,647
It's all right.
956
00:44:19,671 --> 00:44:21,346
You're not in any trouble.
957
00:44:21,370 --> 00:44:23,156
We just saw you collapse,
958
00:44:23,180 --> 00:44:25,099
and wanted to make sure you're okay.
959
00:44:25,123 --> 00:44:25,983
(cat burglar groaning)
960
00:44:26,007 --> 00:44:27,586
No, no, seriously.
961
00:44:27,610 --> 00:44:28,886
It's okay, you're safe.
962
00:44:28,910 --> 00:44:31,196
- We didn't go for your stash or nothing.
963
00:44:31,220 --> 00:44:34,546
- We're sort of in the
same line of business.
964
00:44:34,570 --> 00:44:35,380
- Really?
965
00:44:35,404 --> 00:44:37,576
- Yeah, that's what we were
doing in the house last night.
966
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:40,196
You know, taking advantage.
967
00:44:40,220 --> 00:44:42,133
There's no threat from us.
968
00:44:47,230 --> 00:44:48,926
- Apologies for the knife.
969
00:44:48,950 --> 00:44:49,950
It's fake anyway.
970
00:44:53,086 --> 00:44:56,416
- It's okay.
We were pretty freaked
out last night as well.
971
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:57,456
Didn't know what to do.
972
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:58,866
- Could've benched her.
973
00:44:58,890 --> 00:44:59,700
- Thank you.
974
00:44:59,724 --> 00:45:01,916
- You were going to bench me?
975
00:45:01,940 --> 00:45:04,066
- Yeah. (laughing)
976
00:45:04,090 --> 00:45:05,090
Sorry.
977
00:45:05,850 --> 00:45:07,106
- I'm Annabelle.
978
00:45:07,130 --> 00:45:08,446
This is Simon.
979
00:45:08,470 --> 00:45:09,470
- All right, mate.
980
00:45:10,540 --> 00:45:11,540
- I'm Cat.
981
00:45:12,310 --> 00:45:14,416
- You're a burglar named Cat?
982
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:15,446
- Yeah.
983
00:45:15,470 --> 00:45:16,783
- Cat, the burglar?
984
00:45:16,807 --> 00:45:19,946
(Simon laughing)
985
00:45:19,970 --> 00:45:21,266
Ignore him.
986
00:45:21,290 --> 00:45:25,896
So, Cat, are you named after
some Chinese year or something?
987
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:27,893
- There is no year of the cat.
988
00:45:29,150 --> 00:45:32,236
Story goes, the cat failed
to complete the great race,
989
00:45:32,260 --> 00:45:34,146
so it didn't get it's own year.
990
00:45:34,170 --> 00:45:36,386
Mom considered me a let
down since conception,
991
00:45:36,410 --> 00:45:38,976
and gave me the name to
drive the point home.
992
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:40,980
- [Annabelle] Wow.
- Yep.
993
00:45:41,810 --> 00:45:43,972
- So what's with all the collapsing?
994
00:45:43,996 --> 00:45:46,146
- Narcolepsy.
995
00:45:46,170 --> 00:45:48,466
It's particularly bad
when I'm under stress,
996
00:45:48,490 --> 00:45:51,656
so burglary might not seem
a great career choice,
997
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:53,926
but nobody wants to hire someone
998
00:45:53,950 --> 00:45:56,266
who randomly falls
asleep from time to time,
999
00:45:56,290 --> 00:45:58,426
and I've got to do something.
1000
00:45:58,450 --> 00:46:00,636
Dear old mom was always
on at me to study hard,
1001
00:46:00,660 --> 00:46:03,186
so I can get into a top
university, meet a good man,
1002
00:46:03,210 --> 00:46:04,836
probably a doctor.
1003
00:46:04,860 --> 00:46:07,406
Then I'll be provided for
when I have beautiful babies.
1004
00:46:07,430 --> 00:46:08,295
And I thought,
1005
00:46:08,319 --> 00:46:09,128
(record scratching)
forget that.
1006
00:46:09,152 --> 00:46:11,356
I'd rather,
learn a few skills,
1007
00:46:11,380 --> 00:46:13,516
make some decent, if dodgy contact,
1008
00:46:13,540 --> 00:46:15,186
find places I like the look of,
1009
00:46:15,210 --> 00:46:16,416
turn them into projects,
1010
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:18,736
and provide for myself independently.
1011
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:20,636
The only down side is the nodding off.
1012
00:46:20,660 --> 00:46:23,656
Seriously, I've had to leave
so many bags of loot behind.
1013
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,006
It's embarrassing.
1014
00:46:25,030 --> 00:46:27,106
- So that's a bit like busting into places
1015
00:46:27,130 --> 00:46:28,130
and falling asleep.
1016
00:46:28,970 --> 00:46:31,313
- Well, yes, that's exactly what it is.
1017
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,086
- That's the shittest
burglar I ever heard of.
1018
00:46:35,110 --> 00:46:37,706
- Really?
Can you pick a lock?
1019
00:46:37,730 --> 00:46:38,607
- No.
1020
00:46:38,631 --> 00:46:40,466
- Can you disarm an alarm system?
1021
00:46:40,490 --> 00:46:41,300
- No.
1022
00:46:41,324 --> 00:46:42,701
- Can you open a window?
1023
00:46:42,725 --> 00:46:44,056
- I can lob a rock through a window.
1024
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:45,130
- That's not helping.
1025
00:46:47,490 --> 00:46:50,486
- Are you guys wearing pajamas?
1026
00:46:50,510 --> 00:46:51,779
- Yeah, it's casual.
1027
00:46:51,803 --> 00:46:52,613
You like it?
1028
00:46:52,637 --> 00:46:55,396
- We had an accident with
the house last night.
1029
00:46:55,420 --> 00:46:56,606
- What happened?
1030
00:46:56,630 --> 00:46:57,440
- We blew it up.
1031
00:46:57,464 --> 00:46:58,501
- [Simon] You blew it up.
1032
00:46:58,525 --> 00:46:59,810
- I blew it up.
1033
00:46:59,834 --> 00:47:01,114
- [Simon] Nothing to do with me.
1034
00:47:02,260 --> 00:47:03,776
- Accidentally left the gas on.
1035
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:05,444
- Fucking hell.
1036
00:47:05,468 --> 00:47:06,996
What did you do then?
1037
00:47:07,020 --> 00:47:08,446
- [Simon] We went grave robbing.
1038
00:47:08,470 --> 00:47:09,791
- Thank you.
1039
00:47:09,815 --> 00:47:11,956
We did a runner.
1040
00:47:11,980 --> 00:47:13,216
There's no evidence left.
1041
00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:16,696
And to be fair, with the
few dodgy things we've done,
1042
00:47:16,720 --> 00:47:18,370
I guess we're kind of on the run.
1043
00:47:19,450 --> 00:47:20,796
- Really?
1044
00:47:20,820 --> 00:47:23,886
You know you're only about
half a mile away, right?
1045
00:47:23,910 --> 00:47:26,356
- Yeah, I know.
1046
00:47:26,380 --> 00:47:29,586
Trying to figure out whether
we should stick around,
1047
00:47:29,610 --> 00:47:32,006
take responsibility, own up,
1048
00:47:32,030 --> 00:47:33,766
or if we should just go on the run.
1049
00:47:33,790 --> 00:47:34,627
Trying to make a plan.
1050
00:47:34,651 --> 00:47:36,186
- I've got a plan.
1051
00:47:36,210 --> 00:47:37,249
- What's your plan?
1052
00:47:37,273 --> 00:47:38,706
- Go traveling, innit?
1053
00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:41,216
See the world, fresh start,
new identity, live it up.
1054
00:47:41,240 --> 00:47:43,406
- Yeah, well that would
be nice, but we're broke,
1055
00:47:43,430 --> 00:47:44,513
so we can't.
1056
00:47:47,380 --> 00:47:48,980
- What if I could get you money?
1057
00:47:51,323 --> 00:47:52,706
- [Annabelle And Simon] What do you mean?
1058
00:47:52,730 --> 00:47:55,466
- Well, do you think there
might be people after you?
1059
00:47:55,490 --> 00:47:56,706
- Probably.
1060
00:47:56,730 --> 00:47:58,476
If not, there very soon will be.
1061
00:47:58,500 --> 00:48:00,006
- Unless you're presumed dead.
1062
00:48:00,030 --> 00:48:02,136
- Yeah, I've been saying that.
1063
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:03,998
- Has anyone contacted you since?
1064
00:48:04,022 --> 00:48:05,906
- No, not since bright spark here
1065
00:48:05,930 --> 00:48:07,676
threw my phone in the reservoir.
1066
00:48:07,700 --> 00:48:08,510
- It was a mistake.
1067
00:48:08,534 --> 00:48:09,926
It didn't mean anything.
1068
00:48:09,950 --> 00:48:10,796
- Have you got a car?
1069
00:48:10,820 --> 00:48:11,757
- Yeah.
1070
00:48:11,781 --> 00:48:14,586
- And you're not
narcoleptic, either of you.
1071
00:48:14,610 --> 00:48:16,686
And I know how to get into places,
1072
00:48:16,710 --> 00:48:18,156
and there are several that
I've been scoping out,
1073
00:48:18,180 --> 00:48:20,498
which are ripe for the taking, right now.
1074
00:48:20,522 --> 00:48:23,496
I just can't do them all
because, A, I tend to nod off,
1075
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:25,236
and B, I don't drive,
1076
00:48:25,260 --> 00:48:27,926
so there are only so many bags I can take.
1077
00:48:27,950 --> 00:48:30,056
But if you guys have a car,
1078
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:33,696
and you're a bit strapped
for cash just at the moment,
1079
00:48:33,720 --> 00:48:36,053
maybe we could collaborate.
1080
00:48:38,122 --> 00:48:39,263
- What are you saying?
1081
00:48:40,350 --> 00:48:43,228
- Well, you've got a
car, and I can't drive.
1082
00:48:43,252 --> 00:48:45,026
- You can't drive?
1083
00:48:45,050 --> 00:48:47,586
You know it's like the twentieth century,
1084
00:48:47,610 --> 00:48:49,936
women can drive now.
1085
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:52,856
- I can't drive because I
might nod off at the wheel.
1086
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:53,690
- Why is that?
1087
00:48:53,714 --> 00:48:56,953
- I'm fucking narcoleptic.
- She's fucking narcoleptic.
1088
00:48:56,977 --> 00:48:58,463
- Oh, right.
1089
00:49:01,153 --> 00:49:03,677
Oh, 'cause you might get a parking ticket
1090
00:49:03,701 --> 00:49:05,463
or a wheel clamp or something.
1091
00:49:06,872 --> 00:49:09,986
- Anyway, you were saying about the car.
1092
00:49:10,010 --> 00:49:11,356
- Yeah, if we team up,
1093
00:49:11,380 --> 00:49:13,886
these properties are good to go today.
1094
00:49:13,910 --> 00:49:15,766
I can deal with any alarms, and get us in.
1095
00:49:15,790 --> 00:49:16,657
If I fall asleep
1096
00:49:16,681 --> 00:49:18,836
then you guys just stick me
in the back seat of the car.
1097
00:49:18,860 --> 00:49:20,936
Either way, we hit up all three houses.
1098
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,016
Bang, bang, bang.
1099
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:23,796
Load up on (mumbling)
until the car is full,
1100
00:49:23,820 --> 00:49:26,306
then we take that fat hoard
to a guy I know in the city,
1101
00:49:26,330 --> 00:49:28,456
and split the profits three ways.
1102
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:30,536
Either way, that should be
enough money to cover you
1103
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:32,356
for whatever you guys decide to do.
1104
00:49:32,380 --> 00:49:33,676
Whether it be stick around,
1105
00:49:33,700 --> 00:49:35,526
which I think is retarded, by the way,
1106
00:49:35,550 --> 00:49:36,497
or skip town all together.
1107
00:49:36,521 --> 00:49:39,246
- Hey, Annabelle, I think
I've just had a great idea.
1108
00:49:39,270 --> 00:49:41,066
- Actually, I did, but whatever.
1109
00:49:41,090 --> 00:49:42,156
- This is it, this is it.
1110
00:49:42,180 --> 00:49:43,556
This is our big break.
1111
00:49:43,580 --> 00:49:45,806
Opportunity knockers, this is our calling.
1112
00:49:45,830 --> 00:49:48,266
- It's not a calling, it's a cat burglar.
1113
00:49:48,290 --> 00:49:49,099
No offense.
1114
00:49:49,123 --> 00:49:52,306
- No, no, it's fine.
- And we're in enough hot water as it is.
1115
00:49:52,330 --> 00:49:54,756
- Jehovah's Witness or not,
we should do this, yeah.
1116
00:49:54,780 --> 00:49:56,006
- Sorry, what did he just say?
1117
00:49:56,030 --> 00:49:57,266
- This is mint.
1118
00:49:57,290 --> 00:49:58,127
Let's do it, yeah.
1119
00:49:58,151 --> 00:50:00,836
- We could make a lot of
money before the day is out.
1120
00:50:00,860 --> 00:50:01,976
If we work together.
1121
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,486
- Come on, Annabelle, this is a good idea.
1122
00:50:03,510 --> 00:50:04,320
Let's do it, yeah.
1123
00:50:04,344 --> 00:50:06,166
- I can show you how to
pick locks and stuff.
1124
00:50:06,190 --> 00:50:07,826
Teach you some tricks of the trade.
1125
00:50:07,850 --> 00:50:10,206
You'd be able to do it
whenever you wanted after that.
1126
00:50:10,230 --> 00:50:11,326
Wherever you happen to be.
1127
00:50:11,350 --> 00:50:12,996
- Fuck yes, we can travel.
1128
00:50:13,020 --> 00:50:14,196
No permanent address.
1129
00:50:14,220 --> 00:50:16,193
Living the dream, boom shagmaster.
1130
00:50:17,310 --> 00:50:19,116
Come on, Annabelle.
1131
00:50:19,140 --> 00:50:20,236
- I'm in if you are.
1132
00:50:20,260 --> 00:50:21,260
- Please.
1133
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:28,770
- Okay.
1134
00:50:28,794 --> 00:50:30,376
- [Simon] Fuck yes.
- Wicked.
1135
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,983
(upbeat music)
1136
00:50:38,447 --> 00:50:39,303
- Is this it?
1137
00:50:39,327 --> 00:50:40,203
- [Cat] Yeah.
1138
00:50:40,227 --> 00:50:41,036
= Really?
1139
00:50:41,060 --> 00:50:43,196
- Yeah, look.
All of the lights are on.
1140
00:50:43,220 --> 00:50:46,256
It's broad daylight, and
the TV is stupidly loud.
1141
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,383
Might as well put a sign
up saying nobody home.
1142
00:50:48,407 --> 00:50:49,796
- Are we sure about that?
1143
00:50:49,820 --> 00:50:50,777
- Trust me.
1144
00:50:50,801 --> 00:50:52,576
We could sit here
watching for the next hour
1145
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:55,502
and you wouldn't see
a flicker of movement.
1146
00:50:55,526 --> 00:50:56,824
- Shit.
1147
00:50:56,848 --> 00:50:58,466
- Someone's beaten us to the job.
1148
00:50:58,490 --> 00:50:59,466
- Joking.
1149
00:50:59,490 --> 00:51:01,763
- No, there's three of them.
1150
00:51:03,055 --> 00:51:04,893
- They're all ginger!
1151
00:51:04,917 --> 00:51:05,917
- What?
1152
00:51:07,889 --> 00:51:09,762
I fucking knew it.
1153
00:51:09,786 --> 00:51:11,431
- I can't fucking believe it.
1154
00:51:11,455 --> 00:51:12,856
There's no point hanging around.
1155
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:13,880
Let's blow.
1156
00:51:21,214 --> 00:51:22,266
That's good.
1157
00:51:22,290 --> 00:51:23,706
Check out the letter box.
1158
00:51:23,730 --> 00:51:24,866
I did that.
1159
00:51:24,890 --> 00:51:27,026
Stuff a little junk mail
in the box then leave it.
1160
00:51:27,050 --> 00:51:28,866
If anybody's home, they'll deal with it.
1161
00:51:28,890 --> 00:51:31,933
But if it's still there after
a few days, shopping time.
1162
00:51:32,820 --> 00:51:34,059
Let me show you how to pick a lock.
1163
00:51:34,083 --> 00:51:36,666
(upbeat music)
1164
00:52:21,675 --> 00:52:23,438
- Now this one's a little trickier,
1165
00:52:23,462 --> 00:52:24,796
but the principle's the same.
1166
00:52:24,820 --> 00:52:25,646
You see what I'm doing here?
1167
00:52:25,670 --> 00:52:26,480
- Yeah.
1168
00:52:26,504 --> 00:52:27,736
- Now this is only really necessary
1169
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:28,776
if they've double locked it,
1170
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:29,796
which, to be fair,
1171
00:52:29,820 --> 00:52:31,646
people often do when
they're away for a while.
1172
00:52:31,670 --> 00:52:33,926
- How did you know this place was free?
1173
00:52:33,950 --> 00:52:35,506
- This was the easiest one of all.
1174
00:52:35,530 --> 00:52:37,696
They keep posting holiday updates online.
1175
00:52:37,720 --> 00:52:40,936
Again, you might as well announce
that your place is empty.
1176
00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:42,307
(grunting) There we go.
1177
00:52:42,331 --> 00:52:43,599
Told you.
1178
00:52:43,623 --> 00:52:46,206
(upbeat music)
1179
00:53:20,005 --> 00:53:22,369
(Simon laughing)
- Oh my God.
I can't believe we just done that.
1180
00:53:22,393 --> 00:53:24,836
We've just fleeced two whole houses.
1181
00:53:24,860 --> 00:53:25,670
- I know.
1182
00:53:25,694 --> 00:53:26,838
We're fucking professionals, man.
1183
00:53:26,862 --> 00:53:28,177
- The boot's completely full.
1184
00:53:28,201 --> 00:53:30,413
- I know. (laughing)
1185
00:53:30,437 --> 00:53:32,726
- You know, before we flog this lot off,
1186
00:53:32,750 --> 00:53:34,246
I know this one other place.
1187
00:53:34,270 --> 00:53:36,656
Should be a really good job.
1188
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:38,616
We could stock it all back here with me.
1189
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:40,446
It would certainly mean
more money at the end.
1190
00:53:40,470 --> 00:53:42,498
Seeing as we didn't do the first place.
1191
00:53:42,522 --> 00:53:44,237
- [Annabelle And Simon] Fucking mint.
1192
00:53:44,261 --> 00:53:46,916
(mysterious music)
1193
00:53:46,940 --> 00:53:48,269
- Okay, this is it.
1194
00:53:48,293 --> 00:53:51,133
- Fucking hell, this place is massive.
1195
00:53:51,980 --> 00:53:53,116
- They're newlyweds.
1196
00:53:53,140 --> 00:53:55,216
Should've gone off on their
honeymoon this morning.
1197
00:53:55,240 --> 00:53:56,217
- Newlyweds?
1198
00:53:56,241 --> 00:53:57,296
- Yeah.
1199
00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:59,606
- Can we steal from newlyweds.
1200
00:53:59,630 --> 00:54:00,926
I mean, isn't it a bit?
1201
00:54:00,950 --> 00:54:01,847
- Not really.
1202
00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:03,976
People are scum, newlyweds or not.
1203
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:05,406
They'll screw you over in a heartbeat,
1204
00:54:05,430 --> 00:54:07,506
and just call it good business.
1205
00:54:07,530 --> 00:54:09,645
We're just getting there first.
1206
00:54:09,669 --> 00:54:11,324
Are you not okay with it?
1207
00:54:11,348 --> 00:54:12,393
- I'm okay with it.
1208
00:54:12,417 --> 00:54:13,686
- I'm okay with it.
1209
00:54:13,710 --> 00:54:16,086
- Well, I mean, obviously
I'm okay with it.
1210
00:54:16,110 --> 00:54:18,406
- Okay, good.
Then let me get around the back first,
1211
00:54:18,430 --> 00:54:19,546
just to make sure it's all clear,
1212
00:54:19,570 --> 00:54:20,896
and deal with any alarms.
1213
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:22,266
You guys stay here, okay.
1214
00:54:22,290 --> 00:54:23,154
- Sure.
1215
00:54:23,178 --> 00:54:24,233
- Got it.
1216
00:54:34,670 --> 00:54:36,820
You sure it's okay to
steal from newlyweds?
1217
00:54:39,330 --> 00:54:41,183
It's probably okay, isn't it?
1218
00:54:43,700 --> 00:54:45,976
I'm sure it's okay, right?
1219
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:47,833
Yeah.
- Yeah, cool.
1220
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:50,699
- You're divine.
1221
00:54:50,723 --> 00:54:52,176
- Am I?
1222
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:53,200
Nice.
1223
00:54:56,143 --> 00:54:57,396
- This could really be it.
1224
00:54:57,420 --> 00:55:01,256
I mean, if she manages
to sell enough stuff,
1225
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:03,433
and gets a decent enough lump sum of cash,
1226
00:55:04,498 --> 00:55:06,186
we could really go somewhere.
1227
00:55:06,210 --> 00:55:07,429
We could escape, couldn't we?
1228
00:55:07,453 --> 00:55:08,453
- Fuckin' A.
1229
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:10,750
- Oh, wait, here she comes.
1230
00:55:13,240 --> 00:55:14,446
- All clear.
1231
00:55:14,470 --> 00:55:15,726
Got the big gates open too,
1232
00:55:15,750 --> 00:55:17,196
so we can park up around the back.
1233
00:55:17,220 --> 00:55:18,273
- Okay.
1234
00:55:18,297 --> 00:55:21,876
(mysterious music)
1235
00:55:21,900 --> 00:55:23,346
- Shit, man.
1236
00:55:23,370 --> 00:55:24,516
I'd love a place like this.
1237
00:55:24,540 --> 00:55:25,623
Proper nice.
1238
00:55:28,813 --> 00:55:29,682
- Here, look.
1239
00:55:29,706 --> 00:55:31,176
You've seen how I do it, right?
1240
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:32,776
Why don't you give it a go?
1241
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:33,707
- Me?
1242
00:55:33,731 --> 00:55:35,306
- It is the last place.
1243
00:55:35,330 --> 00:55:37,390
Go on, you know what to do.
1244
00:55:38,609 --> 00:55:40,796
(Simon squawking and laughing)
1245
00:55:40,820 --> 00:55:41,630
- Oh my God!
1246
00:55:41,654 --> 00:55:42,636
They've got a pool back here.
1247
00:55:42,660 --> 00:55:43,660
Fucking mint.
1248
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:47,650
- That's it.
1249
00:55:47,674 --> 00:55:50,306
Now, lever it down a little bit more.
1250
00:55:50,330 --> 00:55:53,566
Now, holding that position,
gently rotate both hands
1251
00:55:53,590 --> 00:55:54,504
until you hear it click.
1252
00:55:54,528 --> 00:55:55,536
(lock clicking)
1253
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:56,369
- I did it.
1254
00:55:56,393 --> 00:55:57,203
- Yeah, good job.
1255
00:55:57,227 --> 00:55:59,241
- They didn't even double lock it.
1256
00:55:59,265 --> 00:56:00,636
- You got lucky, I guess.
1257
00:56:00,660 --> 00:56:01,733
- Hey Simon.
1258
00:56:02,950 --> 00:56:03,759
- What's up?
1259
00:56:03,783 --> 00:56:04,592
- I just did the lock.
1260
00:56:04,616 --> 00:56:05,426
I got us in.
1261
00:56:05,450 --> 00:56:07,263
- Oh, nice one.
1262
00:56:07,287 --> 00:56:08,444
(Cat collapsing)
1263
00:56:08,468 --> 00:56:09,816
Oh, bollocks.
1264
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:11,516
- Fucking hell.
1265
00:56:11,540 --> 00:56:12,926
Okay, no biggie.
1266
00:56:12,950 --> 00:56:14,316
We knew this could happen.
1267
00:56:14,340 --> 00:56:16,692
Help me get her in the back of the car.
1268
00:56:16,716 --> 00:56:19,466
(dramatic music)
1269
00:56:20,550 --> 00:56:22,546
Right, let's get stocked up then.
1270
00:56:22,570 --> 00:56:23,959
- Diamond.
1271
00:56:23,983 --> 00:56:26,549
(car door closing)
1272
00:56:26,573 --> 00:56:29,746
Fuck, yes, this place is awesome.
1273
00:56:29,770 --> 00:56:31,366
- I know.
1274
00:56:31,390 --> 00:56:32,986
We should have a look round
first though, shall we?
1275
00:56:33,010 --> 00:56:35,156
- We should've come here first.
1276
00:56:35,180 --> 00:56:36,789
- Doesn't matter, we're here now.
1277
00:56:36,813 --> 00:56:38,480
What's through here?
1278
00:56:41,434 --> 00:56:42,546
- Christ!
1279
00:56:42,570 --> 00:56:44,136
- She wasn't kidding, was she?
1280
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:45,396
- Presents.
1281
00:56:45,420 --> 00:56:47,726
I fucking love presents.
1282
00:56:47,750 --> 00:56:49,886
- It's like they've
bagged them all up for us.
1283
00:56:49,910 --> 00:56:51,086
- You want to take these things?
1284
00:56:51,110 --> 00:56:52,067
- Well, don't you?
1285
00:56:52,091 --> 00:56:53,076
- Fuck yeah, presents.
1286
00:56:53,100 --> 00:56:55,476
It's the best thing we've found all day.
1287
00:56:55,500 --> 00:56:56,706
- Okay, but first,
1288
00:56:56,730 --> 00:56:58,938
we should find out the
stuff that Cat can sell.
1289
00:56:58,962 --> 00:57:00,657
(car running)
1290
00:57:00,681 --> 00:57:01,681
- What the fuck?
1291
00:57:06,290 --> 00:57:07,326
- I can't believe it.
1292
00:57:07,350 --> 00:57:08,658
- She stole our fucking wheels.
1293
00:57:08,682 --> 00:57:10,177
- She fucked us.
1294
00:57:10,201 --> 00:57:13,046
- I can't believe she fucked us.
1295
00:57:13,070 --> 00:57:14,676
- Well that's what you get
for trusting a burglar,
1296
00:57:14,700 --> 00:57:15,510
I suppose.
1297
00:57:15,534 --> 00:57:16,666
A proper one, I mean.
1298
00:57:16,690 --> 00:57:18,436
- Well, we still get to keep
the stuff from here though.
1299
00:57:18,460 --> 00:57:19,270
Right?
1300
00:57:19,294 --> 00:57:21,727
- Yeah, but who are we gonna sell it to?
1301
00:57:21,751 --> 00:57:22,696
- I don't know.
1302
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:24,823
- We need cash, not stuff.
1303
00:57:27,552 --> 00:57:29,636
I suppose we should have a
look through the wedding gifts.
1304
00:57:29,660 --> 00:57:31,226
- Yeah, I want the presents.
1305
00:57:31,250 --> 00:57:32,059
- I know you do.
1306
00:57:32,083 --> 00:57:35,705
Come on.
(dramatic music)
1307
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:10,175
- Hey!
1308
00:58:10,199 --> 00:58:12,986
I bet you get all sorts
of free stuff and upgrades
1309
00:58:13,010 --> 00:58:14,633
when you travel wearing this lot.
1310
00:58:15,500 --> 00:58:17,236
- That's not a bad idea.
1311
00:58:17,260 --> 00:58:18,323
And check this out.
1312
00:58:19,270 --> 00:58:21,096
There's a few hundred quid here as well.
1313
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:22,816
- Fucking yes, mate, this is it!
1314
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:24,666
This is it!
1315
00:58:24,690 --> 00:58:26,606
- I guess it's a start.
1316
00:58:26,630 --> 00:58:27,457
- We just gotta do it, man.
1317
00:58:27,481 --> 00:58:28,630
That's all we gotta do.
1318
00:58:33,710 --> 00:58:34,710
- Come on, then.
1319
00:58:35,470 --> 00:58:36,280
- Dress up!
1320
00:58:36,304 --> 00:58:37,843
It's fucking dress up!
1321
00:58:40,370 --> 00:58:42,236
You're looking really good.
1322
00:58:42,260 --> 00:58:44,126
- You're looking pretty dapper yourself.
1323
00:58:44,150 --> 00:58:44,995
- Come on then, let's go.
1324
00:58:45,019 --> 00:58:46,254
- No, no, no, hold your horses.
1325
00:58:46,278 --> 00:58:47,087
- What, what?
1326
00:58:47,111 --> 00:58:48,867
- Well, shouldn't we get some more clothes
to get changed into.
1327
00:58:48,891 --> 00:58:50,646
You know, so we don't
have to spend any money
1328
00:58:50,670 --> 00:58:53,456
on a new outfit, before we
get some from somewhere.
1329
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:54,290
- Yeah, good idea.
1330
00:58:54,314 --> 00:58:56,726
- Okay, you stay here, see if
there's anything else we need.
1331
00:58:56,750 --> 00:58:58,636
I'll go upstairs, pack a bag of clothes,
1332
00:58:58,660 --> 00:59:00,345
and we'll be down here in
five minutes for a taxi.
1333
00:59:00,369 --> 00:59:01,179
- Yeah?
1334
00:59:01,203 --> 00:59:02,376
We're really doing it, for proper?
1335
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:03,966
- Yeah, taxi in five minutes.
1336
00:59:03,990 --> 00:59:04,965
- Five minutes, nice one.
1337
00:59:04,989 --> 00:59:05,989
- Okay.
1338
00:59:20,990 --> 00:59:21,990
Simon?
1339
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:24,610
- You get it?
1340
00:59:24,634 --> 00:59:26,194
- Did you light some candles?
1341
00:59:26,218 --> 00:59:27,027
- No.
1342
00:59:27,051 --> 00:59:30,125
Why, what's up?
- I think there might
be someone in the house.
1343
00:59:30,149 --> 00:59:31,336
- What?
1344
00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:34,436
- I think there might
be someone in the house.
1345
00:59:34,460 --> 00:59:35,397
- Fuck.
1346
00:59:35,421 --> 00:59:36,564
Let's get out of here.
1347
00:59:36,588 --> 00:59:38,516
- No, not likely, there's double locks.
1348
00:59:38,540 --> 00:59:39,350
- So what do we do?
1349
00:59:39,374 --> 00:59:40,496
- Let's go out the back.
1350
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:41,633
- Okay, good idea.
1351
00:59:48,128 --> 00:59:49,182
I smell gas.
1352
00:59:49,206 --> 00:59:50,907
- Yeah, me too.
1353
00:59:50,931 --> 00:59:53,357
(door opening)
1354
00:59:53,381 --> 00:59:55,376
(gas leaking)
1355
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:57,374
- Oh shit, it's Dave Arjue.
1356
00:59:57,398 --> 00:59:58,685
- [Both] Run!
1357
00:59:58,709 --> 01:00:01,459
(dramatic music)
1358
01:00:17,430 --> 01:00:20,263
(house exploding)
1359
01:00:25,771 --> 01:00:28,688
(second explosion)
1360
01:00:34,842 --> 01:00:36,646
- Holy Christ!
1361
01:00:36,670 --> 01:00:38,186
That's two.
1362
01:00:38,210 --> 01:00:41,123
Two houses in 24 hours.
1363
01:00:41,147 --> 01:00:43,016
- That was a close one though, wadn't it?
1364
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:46,006
Phew.
- Fucking Cat.
1365
01:00:46,030 --> 01:00:47,983
- Hey?
- Tried to kill us.
1366
01:00:48,987 --> 01:00:50,336
- What, on purpose?
1367
01:00:50,360 --> 01:00:51,666
- Yeah.
1368
01:00:51,690 --> 01:00:52,500
- Tried to kill us?
1369
01:00:52,524 --> 01:00:53,995
- Yeah.
1370
01:00:54,019 --> 01:00:55,036
- The fucking cat did it?
1371
01:00:55,060 --> 01:00:56,376
- No.
1372
01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:57,763
Jehovah's Witness.
1373
01:00:59,100 --> 01:01:00,190
- Fuck.
- I know.
1374
01:01:01,291 --> 01:01:02,776
- I can't believe she tried to kill us.
1375
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:04,996
- Used us completely.
1376
01:01:05,020 --> 01:01:06,706
- Flipping heck.
1377
01:01:06,730 --> 01:01:09,253
- There goes all the
money, and the clothes.
1378
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:14,853
Oh, Simon, I'm not gonna fuck
you now, this is serious.
1379
01:01:16,450 --> 01:01:17,716
You had it down your pants?
1380
01:01:17,740 --> 01:01:19,486
- Yeah, for safety and that.
1381
01:01:19,510 --> 01:01:21,166
So we get a taxi now, right?
1382
01:01:21,190 --> 01:01:22,285
- Fucking A!
1383
01:01:22,309 --> 01:01:24,976
(both spitting)
1384
01:01:28,740 --> 01:01:31,726
- Shouldn't we get like,
revenge or something?
1385
01:01:31,750 --> 01:01:33,576
- Haven't you read Moby Dick?
1386
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:34,410
- Hey?
1387
01:01:34,434 --> 01:01:36,553
- I'm sorry, of course you
haven't read Moby Dick.
1388
01:01:38,370 --> 01:01:41,026
- Are you talking about
my massive knob again?
1389
01:01:41,050 --> 01:01:43,800
(peaceful music)
1390
01:01:52,310 --> 01:01:54,893
(upbeat music)
1391
01:02:00,732 --> 01:02:02,226
- [Driver] Are you guys on honeymoon then?
1392
01:02:02,250 --> 01:02:04,186
- Yeah, we're going traveling.
1393
01:02:04,210 --> 01:02:05,593
The good times start here.
1394
01:02:17,870 --> 01:02:20,306
- Oh, congratulations on your happy day.
1395
01:02:20,330 --> 01:02:22,516
May the Lord shine his light upon you.
1396
01:02:22,540 --> 01:02:24,663
Can I persuade you to take a flyer today?
1397
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:27,995
- What are you, man?
1398
01:02:28,019 --> 01:02:30,186
- I'm a Jehovah's Witness.
1399
01:02:31,699 --> 01:02:34,366
(punch landing)
1400
01:02:42,997 --> 01:02:45,164
- Are you getting married?
1401
01:02:47,289 --> 01:02:50,653
Let's see if I can't get you
bumped up to first class.
1402
01:03:05,337 --> 01:03:07,866
- [Annabelle] So, decisions
made, wheels in motion,
1403
01:03:07,890 --> 01:03:09,286
and we're off.
1404
01:03:09,310 --> 01:03:11,856
Call it running away if
you will, but frankly,
1405
01:03:11,880 --> 01:03:14,096
whatever gets your ass
into gear has done the job.
1406
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:15,646
So, blah.
1407
01:03:15,670 --> 01:03:17,156
We're heading out
1408
01:03:17,180 --> 01:03:18,756
to start afresh,
1409
01:03:18,780 --> 01:03:21,226
see the world, and, of course,
1410
01:03:21,250 --> 01:03:23,886
see loads of your houses.
1411
01:03:23,910 --> 01:03:25,086
Always vigilant.
1412
01:03:25,110 --> 01:03:26,816
Always checking for cameras.
1413
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,866
And always making sure the gas isn't on.
1414
01:03:29,890 --> 01:03:33,133
We are your friendly,
world-wide, home sitters.
1415
01:03:34,686 --> 01:03:35,982
(phone beeping)
1416
01:03:36,006 --> 01:03:37,420
- Annabelle Hind.
1417
01:03:40,376 --> 01:03:41,634
Fuck it.
1418
01:03:41,658 --> 01:03:43,121
I quit.
1419
01:03:43,145 --> 01:03:44,076
Yeah, you heard.
1420
01:03:44,100 --> 01:03:45,100
I fucking quit!
1421
01:03:45,856 --> 01:03:46,863
- [Man] You can't fucking quit.
1422
01:03:46,887 --> 01:03:47,696
Your fucking job.
1423
01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:48,529
- [Debt Collector] I do fucking quit!
1424
01:03:48,553 --> 01:03:49,522
- [Man] You can't fucking quit!
1425
01:03:49,546 --> 01:03:52,128
(upbeat music)
91359
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