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(slow dramatic music)
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(radio tuning)
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- [Orville] Good morning, this is Orville Ricket
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bringing you the Early Bird Edition of KDES News,
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serving all of central Iowa.
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Well, it look as if those of you who did some early planting
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during our recent warm spell
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got a nasty little surprise this morning, didn't you?
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Yeah, it's gonna be a white Easter
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with temperatures climbing into the low teens
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and a wind chill factor of minus 24 degrees.
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A few weather related announcements:
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The annual Greater Des Moines Presbyterian Easter Egg Hunt
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and Bake sale, previously scheduled to take place
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tomorrow afternoon at the country club,
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will now be held in the Roosevelt High school gymnasium.
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Buses will be running an hour to an hour and a half late
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where snow plows allow.
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All right, stay tuned for Lyle Chaney's Livestock Hour
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right here on station KDES, serving all of central Iowa.
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Until then, this is Orville Ricket,
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reminding you to drag those storm windows back out
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of the basement (chuckles) and happy Easter.
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- [Man] Hey, watch where you're going.
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- [Wendell] My name is Wendell Tvedt.
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I'm a freshman at Iowa state.
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I'm waiting for a couple of great guys from my fraternity.
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Well, not my fraternity yet.
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I'm still a pledge.
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But anyway, we're all going to Palm springs for the weekend.
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- (groans) ln's over that way!
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- [Wendell] I'm what you might call a 'late bloomer'.
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That really doesn't bother me.
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(chuckles) I've even heard some people call me a nerd.
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I don't think of myself that way.
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I'd like to think of myself as, well,
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maybe a little--
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(Wendell shrieking)
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Awkward.
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(lighthearted music) (people chattering)
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- Thank you. - Palm springs here we come!
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(both laughing)
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- In less than three hours, it's gonna be you,
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me, hot tubs, palm trees, and the legendary women
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of California. - And Wendell. (laughs)
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- (laughs) Right, and Wendell.
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But listen, don't sell the guy short.
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He's got a lot going for him, for a pledge.
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- Membership in the Astronomy club,
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name tags on his boxer shorts, his very own library card.
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- And he's got a cousin
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with a furnished condo in Palm springs
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and parents who paid for our trip.
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- You're right.
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He's got a lot going for him.
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- Joe, Mother, here I am!
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- [Announcer] charter flight 407, non-stop service
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to Fairbanks, Alaska. - Mm hm.
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- Now departing-- - Hi, guys.
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Where have you been?
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- Wendell, buddy, your fly's open.
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- Oh, it's broken.
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- Wendell, this isn't exactly what we meant
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by hanging out in Palm springs.
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- Hey, listen, where are your folks?
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- [Naomi] You-hoo!
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(alarm beeps)
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oh, honey, just put 'em down. (men snickering)
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That's right. - Wait for me.
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- [Naomi] careful!
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- Poor kid didn't stand a chance.
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- Hey, you laugh and I'll break your legs.
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- Just don't look at me, okay? (laughs)
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- All right, here we go.
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Oh.
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Hi. - How ya doing?
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- Dad, Mom, I want you to meet my friends.
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Father, Mother, this is Mother and Joe.
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- Joe Gillespie.
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- Larry Tucker.
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- It's a pleasure, Mr. Tvedt, Mrs. Tvedt.
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- They call you Mother, right?
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Mother Tucker. (laughs)
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That just kills me.
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- (laughs) isn't that cute?
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Is it 'cause you kinda take care of everybody, isn't it?
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(parents laughing)
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- All right. (laughs)
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- Listen, boys, could ya,
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could you just help me with this stuff,
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just for a minute? - sure.
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- I didn't want Mrs. Tvedt over here,
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but I got a favor I wanna ask you.
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- Sure, what is it?
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- Well, I don't know if you've noticed this or not,
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but my boy Wendell is a little, well,
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he's kind of, (sighs) I guess awkward
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is the word I'm looking for.
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- Wendell? - Awkward?
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- Well, this is what I'm hoping.
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- Ma, aren't they the best?
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- They're wonderful, darling.
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And Millard seems to like them, too.
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I'm sure they're just fine young men.
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- They are.
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You don't have to worry about anything.
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- Oh, I'm sure I don't, sweetheart.
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- I kinda want you and Joe to show my boy around a little,
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kinda teach him a few of the tricks of the trade,
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if you understand my meaning, with the opposite s-E-X.
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I'd be more than willing to make this worth your while.
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Wendell's told me you wanted a sauna
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and a jacuzzi down at the fraternity house.
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- Sure. - (laughs) No problem.
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- (laughs) Gee, that would be great.
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- Millard, hurry with the camera, honey.
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That's their flight. -All right, dear.
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Just, everybody get in line.
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Get in a straight line. - okay, get the lines going.
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Okay. - I'll set this thing up.
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- (laughs) Now, Wendell, stay out of the sun,
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won't you, darling? -All right.
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- You'll burn. - okay, Mom.
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- And, honey, get plenty of sleep.
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- (laughs) okay.
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- Now, just do whatever Mother says, son.
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- Why thank you, Millard.
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- You're welcome, Naomi.
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Everybody smile!
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(camera clicks)
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(upbeat music)
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(horns honking)
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- Keep it in your pants, young Wendell.
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I think this is just fine!
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- Look at those pants!
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- Look at those palm trees!
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- [DJ] This is Madman Mac
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with 72 hours of non-stop rock and roll.
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Sending out a big Palm springs welcome
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to all you greats from 50 states.
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Do the weather report, it's raining in Fort Lauderdale!
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So if you're not in Palm springs, you're nowhere, baby.
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- Slow down.
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- Hi, I'm Wendell Tvedt, and these are my best friends,
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Joe and Mother.
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Nice to meet you. (girls laugh)
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why didn't you guys talk to them?
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They were very pretty.
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- I don't know, Wendell.
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I guess we're just moody.
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- Gotta do something about it--
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- Quick!
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(upbeat music)
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♪ used to be a shy boy ♪
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♪ Until I made him my boy ♪
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♪ I never missed a heartbeat ♪
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♪ Just sitting in the back seat yeah ♪
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♪ I'm gonna give him all my love ♪
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♪ Each and every night ♪
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♪ One thing I'm always dreaming of ♪
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♪ I wanna squeeze and hold you tight ♪
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♪ But don't it make you feel good ♪
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- Mother!
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♪ Don't it make you feel good ♪
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Sorry.
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♪ Don't it make you feel good ♪
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♪ Don't it make you feel good ♪
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♪ Every minute we're together ♪
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♪ Seems to last forever ♪
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♪ He knows about a good time ♪
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♪ Gonna make him all mine all mine ♪
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♪ He gives me loving like nobody else ♪
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♪ I love the way he turns me on ♪
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♪ I'm gonna keep him all to myself ♪
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♪ If my heart could be that strong ♪
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♪ But don't it make you feel good ♪
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♪ Don't it make you feel good ♪
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♪ Don't it make you feel good ♪
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♪ Don't it make you feel good ♪
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(people laughing and chattering)
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- [Chas] oh god, J.C., look!
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- Jesus, I can't believe it!
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Joe and Mother here?
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- And they've got that idiot Wendell with 'em.
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- You know those guys?
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- No, Chrissie, they've never seen them before
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in their lives, they just happen to know their names.
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Gosh! - well I didn't know.
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- We go to school with them.
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We're Beta Epsilon, they're Theta Pi sigma.
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Or as we like to call them, Theta Pigs.
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(laughs)
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- [Chrissie] You don't like them?
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- No, we hate them, and they hate us.
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- Betas hate Thetas, it's a tradition.
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- You know, Chas, they've invaded our territory.
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- I think the boys deserve a nice warm welcome.
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It's the very least we can do.
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(upbeat music)
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- Just follow me, guys!
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(girls laughing)
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That must be the one. - All right, Wendell!
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(girls laugh)
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- so far, so good.
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- Wendell, there's no furniture.
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- Well, my cousin said they're redecorating
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the living room, sorry.
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- The hell with the living room.
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What about the bedrooms?
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- Oh, nice touch!
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(cheers)
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incredible!
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(latches clatter)
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Wendell, buddy, there might be hope for you yet.
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Just knowing you're related to someone
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who has a mirror over a bed like this.
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- My cousin's adopted.
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- Of course he is; I just lost my head for a minute.
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- [Mother] oh no!
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- [Joe] Bunk beds?
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- Oh great, dibs on the top bunk.
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- No, Wendell, this is not great.
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Let's say I bring a woman up here,
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and let's say the master bedroom is occupied.
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Let's say you're in the top bunk,
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hovering just inches away.
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Do you understand what I'm saying to you?
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- (chuckles) oh, I get it.
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Mother, don't worry, it won't bother me a bit.
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I can sleep through almost anything.
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Thanks for being concerned about it, though.
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- You're welcome.
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- Okay, here's how we work this.
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The first one home gets the master bedroom.
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Runner-up better pray to god he's found a good sport.
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Agreed? -Agreed.
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- Fine with me!
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- Wendell! - Boy, Joe,
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I'm gonna get some shots the old astronomy club
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won't believe. - Yeah, Wendell,
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can I see that for a minute?
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- Oh sure! - Thanks, bro.
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Oh, Mother!
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You're not gonna believe this, get out here!
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(cheers)
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- (whoops) very nice!
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It's okay, sweetheart, sometimes the smaller ones
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are the most fun.
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Joe, what the hell are we doing up here?
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Come on!
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- [Joe] oh my god!
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Mother, get out here!
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It's my heart.
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- [Mother] I don't even know where to start.
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There aren't words.
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- Think if I made some kind of humble offering,
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like 10 years off my life, my first-born male child?
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- No, Joe, that is definite Major League material.
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Uh-uh, however, with a few exceptions,
260
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:01,906
almost any ball player will yell ya
261
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:03,908
he had a lot more action in the minors.
262
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:04,993
To the pool?
263
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,411
- To the pool. - To the pool!
264
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:07,495
- Here you go.
265
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,164
(upbeat music)
266
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:11,874
- [Joe] Hello.
267
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,084
- [Mother] shouldn't stare.
268
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,711
She doesn't like it, Joe.
269
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:17,880
(upbeat music)
270
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,216
(groaning)
271
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,595
- [woman] Hello, hello!
272
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,848
- [Joe] My suit just shrunk.
273
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:30,018
Woop, excuse me, squeeze me.
274
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,145
- Nice radio! - Yeah.
275
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,814
(upbeat music)
276
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:41,529
- Huh?
277
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:42,447
Oh!
278
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,994
- Blondes at nine o'clock.
279
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:49,704
- What I mean, Joesph?
280
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,998
Minor league by comparison, but all suited up
281
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,666
and ready to play!
282
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:57,128
♪ Mr. Robotic got sweet cold wine ♪
283
00:13:57,420 --> 00:14:00,548
♪ Mr. Robotic oh that girl is so fine ♪
284
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,842
- Hi boys, mind if we join you?
285
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:06,512
- Ah, being joined is one of the things we live for.
286
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:07,430
- Oh!
287
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:11,100
(upbeat music)
288
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:14,270
(Wendell vocalizing)
289
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,565
- [Wendell] oh, excuse me, I'm sorry!
290
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,401
(water splashes)
291
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,363
Excuse me, excuse me.
292
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,908
Sorry! (water splashes)
293
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:27,825
oh, oh!
294
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:32,538
Oh, ma'am, I'm so sorry! (water splashes)
295
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:33,790
- [woman] Are you okay?
296
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,876
(people chattering)
297
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,465
- Hi, my name's Wendell Tvedt.
298
00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:43,800
- I'm Marianne.
299
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,051
And this is Chrissie.
300
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,052
- Hi!
301
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:47,637
- He's Joe, I'm Mother.
302
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,764
- You know, Chrissie, it's so hot out here.
303
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,391
- Oh, it sure it.
304
00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:54,227
I wish there was some comfortable place nearby
305
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:57,480
where we could all relax and cool off.
306
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,441
- Well, you know, it just so happens,
307
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,152
I know of a place so comfortable and so nearby--
308
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:04,946
- You wouldn't believe how comfortable and nearby
309
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,156
this place is. - It's very comfortable.
310
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:08,449
And it's right upstairs.
311
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,618
I'll make us all some lemonade.
312
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:14,288
- Wendell, (chuckles) can I talk to you for a minute.
313
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,873
- Oh sure, Mother.
314
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:22,422
- Wendell, Joe and I would kinda like to be alone
315
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,132
with these girls for a little while.
316
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,383
You understand what I mean?
317
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,635
So, could you watch the stuff and take a swim
318
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,303
or something? - oh sure, Mother.
319
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,304
No problem.
320
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,683
- [Man] watch out, here he comes!
321
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:36,436
(people shriek)
322
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:44,193
- okay, ladies! (girls giggling)
323
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,779
- Hey, where's all the furniture?
324
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,449
- Oh, well, we kinda like that clean, uncluttered look
325
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,367
in the living room.
326
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,328
- But we did furnish the bedrooms.
327
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,955
- Oh, good.
328
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:58,124
Why don't we go in there.
329
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:00,209
- Come here. - Excuse me.
330
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,712
- What do we do now? -Are you kidding?
331
00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:03,880
What do you think we do now?
332
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:05,298
- Idiot, that's not what I mean.
333
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,841
What I mean is we never established what to do
334
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,676
in the case of a tie!
335
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,471
- Is there a problem?
336
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:12,930
- No. - No, there's no problem.
337
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,434
The thing is, we have one queen-size bed,
338
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:18,936
and two-- - Bunk beds.
339
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,021
- Bunk beds.
340
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:25,693
- A queen-size bed! (giggles)
341
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:29,238
- Gee, I've always found that four people
342
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:32,408
on a queen-size bed can be very cozy.
343
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:34,952
Haven't you, Chrissie?
344
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:35,870
- Mm-hmm.
345
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,290
- You mean, the four of us on one bed?
346
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,834
- Marianne and I are best friends.
347
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,754
We do everything together.
348
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:46,881
(loud thudding)
349
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:47,798
- uh huh.
350
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:54,555
(giggles) After you, my dear!
351
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:58,017
(dramatic electronic music)
352
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,770
(moaning)
353
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:03,105
(laughing)
354
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:09,862
- Marianne!
355
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:16,369
Could you just, untie this for me, please.
356
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:21,415
- [Marianne] oh, by all means. (giggles)
357
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:25,253
- oh, honey, that feels so much better.
358
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,047
- [Marianne] I knew it would.
359
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:28,965
- Yeah!
360
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:31,676
Oh yeah.
361
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,721
(electronic music)
362
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,726
How's that, honey?
363
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:44,272
- [Marianne] (giggles) Just fine.
364
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,274
- Ready for this?
365
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,110
(girls giggling)
366
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,866
- [Marianne] Now don't go away, boys.
367
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:57,785
- We'll be right back.
368
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:01,664
(electronic music)
369
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,085
- Don't go away, she says.
370
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,588
I wouldn't leave this place right now if it caught on fire.
371
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,089
- Joe, we're in this town four hours,
372
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:12,967
we're already getting laid. (laughs)
373
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,760
I love Palm springs!
374
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:17,430
(upbeat music)
375
00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:29,358
(Mother clears throat)
376
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:30,985
what do you think they're doing in there?
377
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:31,902
- Are you kidding?
378
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:36,198
These girls are experienced; they come prepared.
379
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,451
- You ever seen a girl put one in?
380
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:40,119
- No. - No, neither have I.
381
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:41,329
- I think it takes a while, though.
382
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,540
They have to lie down to do it.
383
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:47,043
- [Marianne] oh Chrissie, this reminds me,
384
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:49,670
did I tell you what my gynecologist said?
385
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:50,880
- [Chrissie] No, what?
386
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,798
- [Marianne] well, some doctor in France
387
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,176
thinks he's found a cure for herpes.
388
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,094
- [Chrissie] Boy, would that be a relief.
389
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,304
- [Marianne] Yeah really!
390
00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:02,141
(music fizzles dramatically)
391
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:05,686
Hi. - we're ready.
392
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,315
- Sorry we took so long, did you miss us?
393
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:10,608
- Yeah, well-- - We missed you.
394
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,401
- [Joe] we missed you, too, but while you were gone
395
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:13,694
something came up. - Yeah.
396
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:14,987
We didn't realize how late it is.
397
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,280
There's some place we have to be.
398
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:17,573
- [Marianne] oh, well can't it wait?
399
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:18,574
- No. - oh, no, no.
400
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:19,533
It can't wait.
401
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,118
You see, it's his grandmother. - It's my grandmother.
402
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,371
- Yeah, she's very ill. - she's dying.
403
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:26,040
Well, we told her we'd come by to say goodbye.
404
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,000
- Oh gee, what a shame.
405
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:29,794
We're sorry to hear that.
406
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,337
- Well, you know how grandmothers are.
407
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:34,632
You know, here today, gone tomorrow.
408
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:35,758
- [Chrissie] oh, well hey, listen, boys,
409
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,426
maybe we can get together later?
410
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:38,594
- After she's gone.
411
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,304
- Oh, well, that's hard to say.
412
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,598
- Yeah, it could linger on for days.
413
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,725
Weeks and months. - Years.
414
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,268
- Oh, it's too bad. - Yeah.
415
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,770
- Bye. - Good bye.
416
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:52,817
- [Chas and J.C.] welcome to Palm springs, you assholes!
417
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,443
(girls laughing) - what the hell
418
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,237
are you guys doing here?
419
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:57,947
- We're having a cold beer.
420
00:19:58,239 --> 00:19:59,573
- [Joe] It's great to see you, you mind leaving?
421
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,075
- Yes, we'd mind.
422
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:05,621
- You know, that was a real low-life, scumbag
423
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,207
kind of trick. - why thank you!
424
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:11,377
(beer pops)
425
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:14,588
- oh, love the ambient space.
426
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,924
You must give me the name of your decorator.
427
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,553
- Oh, and these ensembles, very Greek.
428
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,389
- Haven't you dicks got anything better to do?
429
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:24,390
- Of course they don't, Mother.
430
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,267
I mean, they can't get laid, so why come by here
431
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,185
and bug the shit out of us?
432
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:29,895
- (scoffs) can't get laid?
433
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,105
Me?
434
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:34,275
Joe, this is Chas Lawlor you're talking to,
435
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,444
the pride of the Beta Eps.
436
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,154
Just because you can't get it up.
437
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:39,363
- Can't get it up?
438
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:42,491
He can't even find it. (Mother chuckles)
439
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,118
- I mean, you do realize, of course,
440
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:45,411
I will have nailed half the town
441
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:47,538
by the time you get your fly unzipped?
442
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,707
- Oh, I get it, you're gonna handle Palm springs
443
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,584
the same way you handle Iowa state.
444
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,419
The hell with quality, just shoot for quantity.
445
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:54,879
- Well, what else can he do, Joe?
446
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:56,589
The guy's charm ends the minute the valet
447
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:59,717
parks the Mercedes; he can't afford to be choosy.
448
00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:01,302
- Yeah, would you like to put some money on that?
449
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:02,970
- Yeah, sure, like what?
450
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,431
- Like, like pick a girl.
451
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:06,557
Any girl. - And?
452
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,477
- And $1000 says I nail her before the end of the weekend.
453
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,104
- [J.C.] My god, how 'bout this one on the balcony?
454
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,815
- Hey, wait a minute, that one's mine!
455
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,817
- [Chas] oh yeah, since when?
456
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,111
- Since I saw her first. - so much the better.
457
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:20,863
A grand says I get her before you do.
458
00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:22,281
- Hey, great idea, Chas.
459
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,116
The Beta Eps versus the Theta Pigs,
460
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:25,743
the battle of the network studs.
461
00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:28,204
(both laugh)
462
00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:30,790
- so what do you say, hotshot?
463
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:35,753
What's the matter, Joey, competition too tough?
464
00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,755
- Bullshit, you're on!
465
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:39,381
Now get outta here.
466
00:21:40,341 --> 00:21:42,218
- Come on, J.C., I think the boys wanna be alone.
467
00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:45,429
(both laugh)
468
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:46,430
- what?
469
00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:48,682
(snoring)
470
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,230
(gentle music)
471
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:03,072
(Wendell exclaims) (water splashes)
472
00:22:19,964 --> 00:22:22,466
(upbeat music)
473
00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:25,427
okay, Wendell, now listen.
474
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:26,762
This is very important.
475
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:27,888
You look good, by the way.
476
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,181
You feel okay? Doesn't he look good?
477
00:22:29,473 --> 00:22:31,392
- Well, I'm a little nervous.
478
00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:34,395
- Hey, listen, there's nothing to be nervous about.
479
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,063
If it doesn't work with the first girl,
480
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:39,149
you just shrug it off and move on to the next one.
481
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:41,777
Occasionally Mother and I strike out.
482
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:44,071
- Speak for yourself, Joe.
483
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:46,156
- It happens, so don't get discouraged.
484
00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:47,533
- Oh, okay, I won't.
485
00:22:47,825 --> 00:22:50,077
- Never strike out, well, I struck out once.
486
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,662
- Who was that? - Your sister.
487
00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:55,165
- Oh, ha ha! (vocalizes)
488
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:59,503
- okay, all right, so I didn't strike out with your sister.
489
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:01,922
(all laughing)
490
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,550
(upbeat music)
491
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:09,638
- Hold it.
492
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:11,432
Arms out for me.
493
00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:13,017
Move along.
494
00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:15,769
Just doing my job. (Mother shrieks)
495
00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:16,854
No one here.
496
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:22,651
(upbeat music)
497
00:23:24,153 --> 00:23:26,614
♪ La la la la la la la la ♪
498
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:29,617
♪ La la la la la la la la ♪
499
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:32,536
♪ La la la la la la la la ♪
500
00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:36,123
♪ La la la la la la la la ♪
501
00:23:38,042 --> 00:23:39,668
- Okay, you've got yours truly,
502
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,631
Madman Mac, coming to you live from Zelda's.
503
00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:45,007
Quick question for the girls,
504
00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:46,842
how many of you can we count on this weekend
505
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:51,430
for the Last Blast? (girls cheering)
506
00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:53,015
All right, yeah!
507
00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:54,934
And how many of you guys are gonna be there,
508
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:58,187
be there, be there! (guys cheering)
509
00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:00,272
Yeah, ladies, you heard it here first,
510
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:01,774
where's the beef?
511
00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:03,984
It's Sunday night at the Ramada resort,
512
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:05,653
for the annual Last Blast.
513
00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,196
Okay, people, let's get cookin',
514
00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,740
and hope they're good lookin'!
515
00:24:10,032 --> 00:24:11,158
Woo!
516
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:14,286
(upbeat dance music)
517
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,006
♪ You feel like something missing ♪
518
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,925
♪ Neither push comes to shove ♪
519
00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:29,593
♪ You feel like something lacking ♪
520
00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:30,928
♪ You may need my love ♪
521
00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:33,430
- Wow, this is great!
522
00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:35,057
Well, what do I do now?
523
00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:38,727
- Check out the girls, and find one that appeals to you.
524
00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:40,312
- Right, only, it's probably wise
525
00:24:40,604 --> 00:24:42,398
to stay away from the most attractive on the first one.
526
00:24:42,690 --> 00:24:43,315
Shoot low.
527
00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:44,858
- That doesn't mean we want you to walk up
528
00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:46,193
and throw yourself at some dog.
529
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:47,027
- Oh no! - He's just saying,
530
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,237
be realistic. - Right.
531
00:24:48,529 --> 00:24:49,822
- And besides, there's something to be said
532
00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:51,240
for mediocre-looking girls.
533
00:24:51,532 --> 00:24:53,784
I mean, they don't get as much action, so they try harder.
534
00:24:54,076 --> 00:24:54,785
You got it?
535
00:24:59,081 --> 00:25:01,709
(upbeat dance music)
536
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:02,543
- Hi!
537
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:03,711
I'm Eyvette.
538
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:05,295
What would you boys like?
539
00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:06,964
- How about a pitcher and three glasses.
540
00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:08,298
- Got some lDs?
541
00:25:11,677 --> 00:25:12,428
Okay.
542
00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:14,430
Mm hmm.
543
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:21,020
Have you been in our country long, Mr. Yakamura?
544
00:25:21,311 --> 00:25:23,397
- Oh, I was born in Des Moines.
545
00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:25,399
That's not really mine, I just borrowed it
546
00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:27,735
from a guy in my botany class.
547
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:29,611
- No kidding?
548
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:31,488
I'll tell you what, I like your honesty,
549
00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:33,282
so why don't I bring you a glass of milk
550
00:25:33,574 --> 00:25:36,035
and an extra beer mug. - oh, okay, that'd be great.
551
00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:39,079
I'd love some milk. (Eyvette sighs)
552
00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,165
- Wendell, you amaze me.
553
00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:43,792
- Thanks, Mother.
554
00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:48,338
- All right, Wendell, time to find the lucky girl.
555
00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:49,757
- Yeah! - wait a minute, guys.
556
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:52,968
Before we do this, there's something I think you should know
557
00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:55,804
and promise you won't laugh, but,
558
00:25:57,264 --> 00:25:58,974
I've never been with a girl before.
559
00:25:59,266 --> 00:26:00,559
- Don't worry about it.
560
00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:02,936
Just do what comes natural, and you'll be surprised
561
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:05,230
how quickly your instincts will take over.
562
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:07,024
- All right, so you walk up to 'em, right?
563
00:26:07,316 --> 00:26:09,276
Now the key to the whole thing is a gradual approach.
564
00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:10,569
Start slow. - Right, right.
565
00:26:10,861 --> 00:26:12,988
Obviously what you're after here is a night of passion.
566
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,365
- Or at least a blow job in the parking lot.
567
00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:17,868
- But you don't, you don't just walk right up
568
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,537
and ask for it, you lead up to it gradually.
569
00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:21,789
- How do I do that?
570
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,207
What do I say? - You offer to buy
571
00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:25,709
her a drink. - Ask her to dance.
572
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:27,419
- Wow, guys.
573
00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:30,923
Look, the one with the short hair in the orange.
574
00:26:31,215 --> 00:26:33,842
- All right, Wendell. - Not bad.
575
00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:35,511
- Let's do it! - All right!
576
00:26:35,803 --> 00:26:37,888
- I don't think I can. - oh, come on now, Wendell.
577
00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:40,808
We will be behind you every step of the way.
578
00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:41,850
- Don't worry.
579
00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:44,937
Remember, the watch word is gradual.
580
00:26:47,648 --> 00:26:48,857
- Excuse me?
581
00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:51,735
(clears throat) Excuse me?
582
00:26:52,027 --> 00:26:53,654
Can I buy you a drink?
583
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,369
Would you care to dance?
584
00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:09,044
Well then I guess a blowjob in the parking lot
585
00:27:09,336 --> 00:27:11,547
would be out of the question?
586
00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:18,720
(laughs)
587
00:27:19,012 --> 00:27:21,598
- I really like a guy with a sense of humor.
588
00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:23,642
Would you settle for some ice cream?
589
00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:24,560
- Oh sure!
590
00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:33,819
- That worked?
591
00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:39,074
♪ She holds me ♪
592
00:27:39,366 --> 00:27:43,912
♪ I resist her ♪
593
00:27:44,204 --> 00:27:45,455
♪ Stands of traffic rushing ♪
594
00:27:45,747 --> 00:27:47,791
♪ Making funny night music ♪
595
00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:51,503
♪ Building bricks and hours later check you from the prints ♪
596
00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:53,839
- Something wrong, Wendell?
597
00:27:54,131 --> 00:27:56,341
- I don't feel right about this, that's all.
598
00:27:56,633 --> 00:27:57,342
- About what?
599
00:27:57,634 --> 00:28:00,012
- About being with you tonight.
600
00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:03,140
See, the thing is, this wouldn't be happening
601
00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:05,893
if Joe and Mother hadn't told me what to say.
602
00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:10,981
They know everything about girls and I don't know anything.
603
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:13,984
(crunches) Anyway, the point is,
604
00:28:14,276 --> 00:28:17,154
kinda got you here under false pretenses and,
605
00:28:17,446 --> 00:28:22,242
(crunches) if you wanna go back to Zelda's, I'll understand.
606
00:28:23,035 --> 00:28:25,287
- I don't think so, Wendell.
607
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:30,375
I think you're just what I've been looking for.
608
00:28:30,667 --> 00:28:34,713
(upbeat music) (cone crunches)
609
00:28:35,005 --> 00:28:37,925
- I swear to god, Joe, I thought it would work, all right?
610
00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:40,302
- You honestly thought those girls would believe
611
00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:42,596
that you were on the space shuttle?
612
00:28:42,888 --> 00:28:45,641
- Look, at least I didn't spill my drinks on them.
613
00:28:45,933 --> 00:28:47,392
- Okay, case closed.
614
00:28:49,102 --> 00:28:52,105
Actually, it's just as well; we need the rest.
615
00:28:52,397 --> 00:28:54,608
Chas Lawlor is gonna be tough competition.
616
00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:57,027
- Chas Lawlor is an asshole.
617
00:28:57,319 --> 00:28:58,987
- Thanks for reminding me.
618
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:01,448
I'm getting kind of nervous. (beer pops)
619
00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:04,910
- Hey man, don't worry about it; you'll do fine.
620
00:29:05,202 --> 00:29:06,828
Here's to it. - Thanks.
621
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,918
- Wonder how Wendell made out?
622
00:29:13,210 --> 00:29:14,002
- I don't know, man.
623
00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:16,505
I hope she let him down easy.
624
00:29:16,797 --> 00:29:19,841
Hey, I'll dip you for master bedroom.
625
00:29:20,133 --> 00:29:20,926
- All right.
626
00:29:24,721 --> 00:29:26,640
(coin slaps) - Heads.
627
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:27,891
(Mother snickers) Damn it!
628
00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:28,976
You always win. - Hey, I'm sure you
629
00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:31,270
and Wendell will be very happy together.
630
00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:32,187
- Cute.
631
00:29:34,731 --> 00:29:36,400
- [Nicole] oh Wendell!
632
00:29:36,692 --> 00:29:38,277
- Hey Joey, come here.
633
00:29:38,568 --> 00:29:40,696
- What do you want? - Just come here a minute.
634
00:29:40,988 --> 00:29:42,614
(Nicole giggles)
635
00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:45,409
- [Nicole] oh Wendell, you're wonderful!
636
00:29:45,701 --> 00:29:47,869
Do that again; I love it.
637
00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:49,663
- What do you know?
638
00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:51,999
Good for him. - Good for him, man?
639
00:29:52,291 --> 00:29:54,126
Good for us, that is a sauna and a jacuzzi
640
00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:55,836
for the frat house in there.
641
00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:59,506
(hands slap) Yeah, all right!
642
00:29:59,798 --> 00:30:01,675
- Let me get this straight, he's in there getting laid,
643
00:30:01,967 --> 00:30:03,051
and we're-- - Resting up.
644
00:30:03,343 --> 00:30:03,969
- Right.
645
00:30:05,345 --> 00:30:06,263
Top or bottom bunk?
646
00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:08,432
- What the hell difference does it make?
647
00:30:08,724 --> 00:30:10,058
Jesus, I feel like we should build a fire
648
00:30:10,350 --> 00:30:13,603
in the middle of the room and tell ghost stories.
649
00:30:13,895 --> 00:30:15,188
- Please, Wendell.
650
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:16,857
One more time. (Wendell laughing)
651
00:30:17,149 --> 00:30:20,902
- Really, are you sure? - Yes, it's my favorite.
652
00:30:21,194 --> 00:30:22,321
- Oh well, okay.
653
00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:29,619
♪ Danke shooen, darling, danke shoen ♪
654
00:30:29,911 --> 00:30:33,290
♪ I said thank you for mmm ♪
655
00:30:33,582 --> 00:30:36,460
♪All the joy you bring ♪
656
00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:38,003
Oh, I love Wayne Newton!
657
00:30:38,295 --> 00:30:39,421
You know, I have all his albums.
658
00:30:39,713 --> 00:30:43,175
- Wendell, you're perfect. (Wendell laughs)
659
00:30:43,467 --> 00:30:48,221
♪ I recall central Park in fall ♪
660
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:52,142
♪ How you tore your dress what a mess ♪
661
00:30:52,434 --> 00:30:56,063
♪ I confess that's not all ♪
662
00:30:56,355 --> 00:31:01,151
♪ Danke shoen, oh darling, danke shoen ♪
663
00:31:02,652 --> 00:31:05,113
♪ I said thank you for ♪
664
00:31:05,405 --> 00:31:08,617
♪All the joy you bring ♪
665
00:31:08,909 --> 00:31:10,202
- Oh, so exciting!
666
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:14,456
- [Mother] There she is, Joe.
667
00:31:14,748 --> 00:31:16,583
Carrying a book, could be for effect,
668
00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:18,877
or maybe she reads.
669
00:31:19,169 --> 00:31:22,881
Hmm, she's choosing an out-of-the-way chase.
670
00:31:23,173 --> 00:31:26,593
Definite loner type, probably very rich.
671
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:29,096
Nice towel, designer I think.
672
00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:31,765
- [Joe] Yeah, come on, let me see.
673
00:31:32,057 --> 00:31:34,393
- [Mother] All right, go ahead.
674
00:31:34,684 --> 00:31:36,937
- Wow, I think I'm in trouble.
675
00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:41,400
This is a woman who's definitely into perfection.
676
00:31:41,691 --> 00:31:44,611
I think Chas Lawlor lll has a hell of a lot better chance
677
00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:46,154
of pulling that off than I do.
678
00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:49,574
- Bull shit, it's all done with mirrors.
679
00:31:50,659 --> 00:31:52,411
Okay, all right.
680
00:31:52,702 --> 00:31:57,249
So, he's got looks; he's got charm; he's got money.
681
00:31:57,541 --> 00:31:59,626
But you have something he'll never have.
682
00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,795
- Yeah, what? - Me.
683
00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:05,298
(suspenseful music)
684
00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:06,508
oh, by the way, I hate to bring up
685
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,760
a tiny little detail at a time like this,
686
00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:12,139
but on the off chance that we should lose this bet,
687
00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:14,015
where are you gonna get the grand?
688
00:32:14,307 --> 00:32:17,185
- You should see her, dad, she's beautiful.
689
00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:18,979
Yeah, and guess what else?
690
00:32:19,271 --> 00:32:22,691
She lives on a street called Bob Hope Drive.
691
00:32:22,983 --> 00:32:24,609
She even met him once.
692
00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:28,280
Oh dad, she really did!
693
00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:30,115
And guess what else?
694
00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:34,411
I'm having lunch with her and her parents tomorrow.
695
00:32:36,163 --> 00:32:37,622
Oh, okay, I will.
696
00:32:37,914 --> 00:32:40,709
And tell mother that I'll call her tonight.
697
00:32:41,001 --> 00:32:42,294
Okay dad, buh-bye.
698
00:32:48,842 --> 00:32:51,011
Dad says to tell you guys, congratulations.
699
00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:52,762
Whatever that means.
700
00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:58,059
- So, Nicole lives on Bob Hope Drive, huh?
701
00:32:58,351 --> 00:32:59,478
Pretty impressive, Wendell.
702
00:32:59,769 --> 00:33:03,023
- Yeah, I know, you should see her house, too.
703
00:33:03,315 --> 00:33:06,860
Shoot, they even have a mailbox shaped like a little castle.
704
00:33:07,152 --> 00:33:08,278
- Yeah, well, we're proud of you, man.
705
00:33:08,570 --> 00:33:10,906
- Real proud. - What are you doing today?
706
00:33:11,198 --> 00:33:14,910
- Well, see this girl in the white, Wendell?
707
00:33:15,202 --> 00:33:16,661
- [Wendell] oh yeah.
708
00:33:18,121 --> 00:33:19,831
- Well, that's what I'm gonna do today.
709
00:33:20,123 --> 00:33:21,750
- We just have to figure out how.
710
00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:24,794
- Well, why don't you just go up and introduce yourself
711
00:33:25,086 --> 00:33:26,713
and ask her out?
712
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:30,091
- Wendell, Wendell, Wendell. - Wendell, this is no
713
00:33:30,383 --> 00:33:33,345
ordinary girl, she has to be approached delicately,
714
00:33:33,637 --> 00:33:35,555
with finesse. - see, that's what's so great
715
00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:38,475
about you guys, you know these things.
716
00:33:38,767 --> 00:33:40,268
I mean, like last night.
717
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,104
Nicole said she only left Zelda's with me in the first place
718
00:33:43,396 --> 00:33:45,357
because she felt sorry for me.
719
00:33:45,649 --> 00:33:49,152
She didn't decide she liked me until later.
720
00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:50,612
And you guys figured that out
721
00:33:50,904 --> 00:33:52,906
right from the start, didn't you?
722
00:33:53,198 --> 00:33:54,574
- Yeah. - Mm hmm.
723
00:33:54,866 --> 00:33:56,910
- Oh boy, that's great.
724
00:33:57,202 --> 00:34:00,163
Thanks a lot, guys. - Don't mention it.
725
00:34:01,581 --> 00:34:04,042
(upbeat music)
726
00:34:07,087 --> 00:34:09,631
- [Both] she felt sorry for him.
727
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:14,052
(upbeat music)
728
00:34:17,264 --> 00:34:19,516
- Joe, you gotta snap out of it.
729
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:21,851
Joe, I'm telling you, you're well-rid of her.
730
00:34:22,143 --> 00:34:24,479
She did not deserve a guy like you.
731
00:34:24,771 --> 00:34:27,107
- Don't say that, she was wonderful, and I loved her.
732
00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:28,984
And it's my fault she left.
733
00:34:29,276 --> 00:34:30,485
- How can you say that?
734
00:34:30,777 --> 00:34:33,113
A girl you've been faithful to for the past six years
735
00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:35,240
of your life, leaves you for another man,
736
00:34:35,532 --> 00:34:37,701
and then tells you, all she was after in the first place
737
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:40,036
was your money, and that's your fault?
738
00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:42,038
- I don't think I'll be able to trust another woman
739
00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:45,584
as long as I live. - You will, Joe, you will.
740
00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:48,169
We just have to find someone who won't care how rich you are
741
00:34:48,461 --> 00:34:51,381
who wouldn't be sexually demanding.
742
00:34:51,673 --> 00:34:55,594
- Oh come on now, where are we gonna find a woman like that?
743
00:34:55,885 --> 00:34:57,637
- I don't know, Joe.
744
00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:58,805
I don't know.
745
00:35:02,559 --> 00:35:05,979
(airplane engine roaring)
746
00:35:07,314 --> 00:35:09,190
- [Man] Look at that, huh?
747
00:35:09,482 --> 00:35:10,358
It's a plane.
748
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:15,196
(people chattering)
749
00:35:16,448 --> 00:35:20,201
(dramatic instrumental music)
750
00:35:34,466 --> 00:35:37,218
(crowd shrieking)
751
00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:43,224
(water splashes)
752
00:35:43,516 --> 00:35:46,936
(crowd applauding)
753
00:35:47,228 --> 00:35:50,857
(dramatic instrumental music)
754
00:35:59,574 --> 00:36:01,993
- [woman] ooh, I wanna get this, hand me my Polaroid.
755
00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:06,081
(crowd cheering and applauding)
756
00:36:10,502 --> 00:36:12,837
- oh, that was beautiful. - Thank you.
757
00:36:13,129 --> 00:36:16,716
(dramatic instrumental music)
758
00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:19,177
(crowd cheering and applauding)
759
00:36:19,469 --> 00:36:21,429
I'm terribly sorry about the intrusion.
760
00:36:21,721 --> 00:36:24,015
It was a trick of the wind.
761
00:36:24,307 --> 00:36:26,101
I was supposed to land at the university campus;
762
00:36:26,393 --> 00:36:28,520
I'm lecturing there tonight.
763
00:36:29,938 --> 00:36:32,399
My publisher thought sky diving might be a good publicity
764
00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:36,861
stunt to promote my new book, "Mind, Body and sex".
765
00:36:37,153 --> 00:36:38,613
It'll be at your bookstores soon.
766
00:36:38,905 --> 00:36:40,740
- Hey, just who the hell are you supposed to be?
767
00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:45,829
- (scoffs) Boys, you'll have to wait your turn.
768
00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:49,290
- So listen, Nicole.
769
00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:52,210
What I was thinking was, my astronomy club
770
00:36:52,502 --> 00:36:54,087
is having an awards banquet in three weeks.
771
00:36:54,379 --> 00:36:56,214
Would you like to come?
772
00:36:56,506 --> 00:36:59,008
I'll pay for your trip and everything.
773
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:01,219
I think I may have a shot at best scale model
774
00:37:01,511 --> 00:37:02,971
of the solar system.
775
00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:05,974
No,
776
00:37:07,350 --> 00:37:08,685
that's too cocky.
777
00:37:10,019 --> 00:37:13,231
She'll think I'm an egomaniac or something.
778
00:37:13,523 --> 00:37:15,942
(playful music)
779
00:37:34,127 --> 00:37:34,794
(sniffs)
780
00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:36,880
(sighs)
781
00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:46,598
(steam hissing)
782
00:37:46,890 --> 00:37:49,434
- Did you see the look on her face when I flew in?
783
00:37:49,726 --> 00:37:51,936
- All I saw was her walking away from the pool, Chas.
784
00:37:52,228 --> 00:37:54,147
- So she plays hard to get; I can handle that.
785
00:37:54,439 --> 00:37:55,690
- Nobody that looks like that has the right
786
00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:56,858
to play hard to get.
787
00:37:57,150 --> 00:37:58,568
I mean, she owes it to Mankind to be easy.
788
00:37:58,860 --> 00:38:00,987
- You know, you are a real class act.
789
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:02,697
- Hey, fuck you! - Fuck you!
790
00:38:02,989 --> 00:38:03,823
- Hold it!
791
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,701
Look, we're not getting anything accomplished here.
792
00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:09,537
All right, now suppose we both get her.
793
00:38:09,829 --> 00:38:11,122
What do we do then, declare a draw?
794
00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:11,956
- Not on your life.
795
00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:13,291
It's literally first come, first served.
796
00:38:13,583 --> 00:38:14,667
Which brings us to a little matter of proof.
797
00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:16,336
- Proof, what do you mean, proof?
798
00:38:16,628 --> 00:38:17,796
- What do you mean, our word's not good enough?
799
00:38:18,087 --> 00:38:19,964
- Let's just say I wouldn't put $1000 on it.
800
00:38:20,256 --> 00:38:21,758
- Jesus. - okay, what kind
801
00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:23,301
of proof do you want? - Hey, that is your problem.
802
00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:24,928
- And we're talking hard evidence here.
803
00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:26,221
- Yeah guys, you gotta convince us.
804
00:38:26,513 --> 00:38:27,305
- Okay, you want proof?
805
00:38:27,597 --> 00:38:28,264
We want proof. - Yeah!
806
00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:29,474
- Whatever you say, gentlemen.
807
00:38:29,766 --> 00:38:30,767
- Oh Jesus, I just had a horrible thought.
808
00:38:31,059 --> 00:38:31,976
- Good, what?
809
00:38:32,268 --> 00:38:33,853
- Well, you don't think she's weird or something?
810
00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:35,355
Like, a virgin. - come on, J.C.,
811
00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:37,857
if there's still a virgin left in this world over the age
812
00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:41,945
of 13, I will personally put in a call to Ripley's.
813
00:38:42,237 --> 00:38:43,571
- Oh hi, you guys!
814
00:38:43,863 --> 00:38:46,199
- Hey J.C., you got a phone?
815
00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:47,408
- I just wanted to let you know
816
00:38:47,700 --> 00:38:49,410
that I'm taking the Jeep to pick up Nicole.
817
00:38:49,702 --> 00:38:51,329
- Okay Wendell, see you later. - Have a good time.
818
00:38:51,621 --> 00:38:52,163
- [Wendell] okay.
819
00:38:52,455 --> 00:38:52,997
- Jesus man, what'd you do?
820
00:38:53,289 --> 00:38:55,083
Soak your clothes in Pierre Cardin?
821
00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:56,960
- Too much, huh?
822
00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:59,587
I'll buy you some more on the way home, Mother.
823
00:38:59,879 --> 00:39:01,589
- Don't worry about it.
824
00:39:03,675 --> 00:39:05,718
(door squeaks) - Jesus, you Theta Pigs
825
00:39:06,010 --> 00:39:07,720
must be desperate, pledging a wimp like that.
826
00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:08,555
- Wimp huh?
827
00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:09,848
He's off to pick up his girlfriend,
828
00:39:10,139 --> 00:39:11,474
we're sitting around here, sweating our asses off
829
00:39:11,766 --> 00:39:12,684
with a bunch of guys.
830
00:39:12,976 --> 00:39:14,644
Think about it. -And furthermore, J.C.,
831
00:39:14,936 --> 00:39:15,895
why don't you leave him alone.
832
00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:18,064
- No, no, no, as a matter of fact, better idea.
833
00:39:18,356 --> 00:39:19,357
Just leave, okay? - Hey, you know what?
834
00:39:19,649 --> 00:39:20,483
That's a good idea. - Yeah!
835
00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:23,987
- J.C., why don't we get out of here, come on.
836
00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:26,906
Oh, and boys, I wouldn't stay in here too long
837
00:39:27,198 --> 00:39:30,493
if I were you; you might overheat.
838
00:39:30,785 --> 00:39:32,537
(door thuds) (Mother groans)
839
00:39:32,829 --> 00:39:35,707
(chair clattering)
840
00:39:35,999 --> 00:39:37,959
- what the hell was that?
841
00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:41,713
(dramatic electronic music)
842
00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:46,259
Fuckers locked us in!
843
00:39:46,551 --> 00:39:47,635
(knocking)
844
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:49,929
- Anybody out there?
845
00:39:50,221 --> 00:39:52,599
Okay, let's get this over with.
846
00:39:53,975 --> 00:39:57,145
(bodies thud) (both groan)
847
00:39:57,437 --> 00:40:01,149
(dramatic electronic music)
848
00:40:01,441 --> 00:40:03,318
(horn honks)
849
00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:05,737
(dog barks)
850
00:40:20,877 --> 00:40:22,795
- Lay rubber, Wendell!
851
00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:24,881
- Ah, what? - Lay rubber!
852
00:40:26,049 --> 00:40:27,216
Please, for me?
853
00:40:29,552 --> 00:40:31,721
(engine revs)
854
00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:32,972
(tires squeal)
855
00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:35,683
(engine turns and grinds)
856
00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:38,686
(tires squeal)
857
00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:41,564
(thudding)
858
00:40:41,856 --> 00:40:45,777
(Mother and Joe groan) (chair clatters)
859
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:47,153
- Jesus christ, we coulda died in there!
860
00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:48,237
- But we didn't.
861
00:40:48,529 --> 00:40:50,406
Let's get those bastards.
862
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:55,286
(Joe groans)
863
00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:57,789
(soft music)
864
00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:01,334
- Hey, what the fuck are you doing?
865
00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:03,044
- Go Joe, she's coming.
866
00:41:03,336 --> 00:41:03,878
Get inside! - what?
867
00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:04,879
- Pull on the door, follow my lead!
868
00:41:05,171 --> 00:41:05,797
(door thuds)
869
00:41:06,089 --> 00:41:08,299
(soft music)
870
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:11,886
Joe please, don't do this!
871
00:41:12,178 --> 00:41:13,429
No woman is worth it!
872
00:41:13,721 --> 00:41:17,350
You can't take your own life! - oh yes I can!
873
00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:19,143
Believe me, it's better this way.
874
00:41:19,435 --> 00:41:20,478
Leave me alone!
875
00:41:22,271 --> 00:41:25,400
- She's hooked, Joe, on three.
876
00:41:25,692 --> 00:41:29,278
Joey, I'm coming in, I gotta save you!
877
00:41:29,570 --> 00:41:30,321
- [Joe] No, don't do it!
878
00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:31,614
I wanna die!
879
00:41:31,906 --> 00:41:35,368
- One, two, three! (groans)
880
00:41:37,787 --> 00:41:39,914
Joey, speak to me! (slapping)
881
00:41:40,206 --> 00:41:41,708
speak to me! - Is he all right?
882
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,127
- Joey, you're gonna be okay.
883
00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:45,920
- Is there anything I can do to help?
884
00:41:46,212 --> 00:41:47,130
(Joe groans) - I don't know.
885
00:41:47,422 --> 00:41:48,631
What do we do?
886
00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:50,341
- We've gotta bring his body temperature down.
887
00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:53,720
Let's use a shower. - shower, right!
888
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:56,347
Joey, you fool! (Joe groaning)
889
00:41:56,639 --> 00:41:59,308
- [Joe] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
890
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:00,727
- [Ashley] Easy does it.
891
00:42:01,019 --> 00:42:02,186
- [Joe] (head thuds) ow!
892
00:42:02,478 --> 00:42:03,396
- Okay, what do we do now?
893
00:42:03,688 --> 00:42:07,567
- Take off his trunks, diaphragmatic circulation.
894
00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:08,484
- Right.
895
00:42:12,113 --> 00:42:13,614
- Good, now cold water, quickly!
896
00:42:13,906 --> 00:42:15,616
- How cold? - very cold.
897
00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:21,330
(water splashes) - whew.
898
00:42:21,622 --> 00:42:23,624
- [Ashley] why would he do a thing like this?
899
00:42:23,916 --> 00:42:27,003
- His girlfriend left him; he's insane with grief.
900
00:42:27,295 --> 00:42:29,380
- Oh, the poor thing.
901
00:42:29,672 --> 00:42:30,548
We better call a doctor.
902
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,468
- Oh no, he'll be fine now, thanks to you.
903
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,136
Of course, it's hard to say.
904
00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:37,055
He may try this again.
905
00:42:38,765 --> 00:42:41,851
Unless he finds a reason to live, some little thing
906
00:42:42,143 --> 00:42:44,520
to look forward to. - Like what?
907
00:42:44,812 --> 00:42:47,440
- I don't know, it wouldn't take much,
908
00:42:47,732 --> 00:42:49,275
just a woman that would listen to him,
909
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:51,152
be sensitive to what he's going through,
910
00:42:51,444 --> 00:42:54,864
not try to take advantage of him sexually.
911
00:42:55,156 --> 00:42:58,409
(water splashing)
912
00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:02,246
- I suppose I could, maybe dinner or something.
913
00:43:02,538 --> 00:43:03,956
- Oh no, I couldn't ask that of you.
914
00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:05,708
No, you've done more than enough already.
915
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,668
- No really, it's okay.
916
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,254
If you really think it would help.
917
00:43:10,546 --> 00:43:12,715
- You're a very kind person.
918
00:43:13,007 --> 00:43:15,510
(horse neighs) - come on, boy.
919
00:43:15,802 --> 00:43:18,012
Oh Wendell, don't you just love horses?
920
00:43:18,304 --> 00:43:20,389
They're so sensual and so majestic.
921
00:43:20,681 --> 00:43:21,974
- And so tall!
922
00:43:22,266 --> 00:43:24,393
Hey, you know, Nicole, mine looks a little bit tired.
923
00:43:24,685 --> 00:43:26,854
Maybe we should head back. - Your horse isn't tired,
924
00:43:27,146 --> 00:43:28,856
Wendell, he's just lazy. - Lazy?
925
00:43:29,148 --> 00:43:29,857
- [Nicole] come on, giddy up!
926
00:43:30,149 --> 00:43:32,985
- [Wendell] Nicole, Nicole, I don't know what to do!
927
00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,029
Whoa, whoa, horsey!
928
00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:36,823
Nicole! (screams)
929
00:43:37,115 --> 00:43:39,492
(upbeat music)
930
00:43:52,505 --> 00:43:55,633
♪ You say that you need my love ♪
931
00:43:55,925 --> 00:44:00,471
♪And you wanted my body I don't mind ♪
932
00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:03,808
♪ Baby all I got is time ♪
933
00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:08,146
♪And I'm waiting to make you mine ♪
934
00:44:08,437 --> 00:44:11,732
♪ You say you want to stay the night ♪
935
00:44:12,024 --> 00:44:16,487
♪ But you leave me tomorrow, I don't care ♪
936
00:44:16,779 --> 00:44:19,866
♪All of the rules are right ♪
937
00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:23,369
♪ We can take it anywhere ♪
938
00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:27,248
♪ It's physical attraction physical attraction ♪
939
00:44:27,540 --> 00:44:31,043
♪ It's chemical reaction ♪
940
00:44:31,335 --> 00:44:34,922
♪ It's physical attraction ♪
941
00:44:35,214 --> 00:44:40,011
♪ But it's chemical reaction yeah ♪
942
00:44:40,595 --> 00:44:43,848
♪ Trying hard to get away ♪
943
00:44:44,140 --> 00:44:48,269
♪ But I can't seem to fight the way I feel ♪
944
00:44:48,561 --> 00:44:51,772
♪ Even though you're not for real ♪
945
00:44:52,064 --> 00:44:55,902
♪ Your touch is driving me ♪
946
00:44:56,194 --> 00:44:59,697
♪ Crazy and when you smile ♪
947
00:44:59,989 --> 00:45:04,493
♪ It's just making me want you more and more ♪
948
00:45:04,785 --> 00:45:07,705
♪ Baby won't you stay a while ♪
949
00:45:07,997 --> 00:45:11,751
♪ It could be such a fantasy ♪
950
00:45:12,043 --> 00:45:15,171
♪ Physical attraction physical attraction ♪
951
00:45:15,463 --> 00:45:16,839
♪ It's a chemical reaction ♪
952
00:45:17,131 --> 00:45:18,633
(engine revs)
953
00:45:18,925 --> 00:45:20,134
(tires squeal)
954
00:45:20,426 --> 00:45:21,177
- Feeling better?
955
00:45:21,469 --> 00:45:22,845
- Oh yeah, I'll be fine.
956
00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:24,680
- Well, go home and get some sleep,
957
00:45:24,972 --> 00:45:27,266
because I don't want you all pale and sickly like that
958
00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:29,018
when you meet my parents tomorrow.
959
00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:31,604
- Oh, I wont' be, don't worry.
960
00:45:34,190 --> 00:45:38,444
- Wendell, I don't want to make you nervous or anything,
961
00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:40,363
but if my daddy doesn't approve of you,
962
00:45:40,655 --> 00:45:42,907
I won't be seeing you anymore.
963
00:45:44,033 --> 00:45:44,784
- Hmm.
964
00:45:45,910 --> 00:45:48,829
Well, I can understand that.
965
00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:50,915
I'm pretty close to my parents, too.
966
00:45:51,207 --> 00:45:53,042
- Yeah, but I live with mine.
967
00:45:53,334 --> 00:45:55,878
And believe me, daddy can make things pretty rough
968
00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:57,255
on me when I bring a guy home
969
00:45:57,546 --> 00:45:59,257
that he doesn't think is good enough.
970
00:45:59,548 --> 00:46:01,884
For instance, one time he even held a guy's head
971
00:46:02,176 --> 00:46:05,096
in the pool until he promised never to call me again.
972
00:46:05,388 --> 00:46:08,057
Well, you can imagine how horrible that was for me.
973
00:46:08,349 --> 00:46:08,975
- Huh?
974
00:46:09,892 --> 00:46:13,896
- Don't look so serious, Wendell, you'll be fine.
975
00:46:15,147 --> 00:46:18,567
Well (lips smack) see ya.
976
00:46:20,319 --> 00:46:22,989
(birds chirping)
977
00:46:25,074 --> 00:46:27,201
(gate clatters loudly)
978
00:46:27,493 --> 00:46:28,536
- Yeah, see ya.
979
00:46:29,912 --> 00:46:32,748
(breathing deeply)
980
00:46:35,793 --> 00:46:37,128
- That's very good, Ashley.
981
00:46:37,420 --> 00:46:38,045
Do you see what I mean?
982
00:46:38,337 --> 00:46:39,255
- [Girls] uh huh, uh huh.
983
00:46:39,547 --> 00:46:40,881
- Oh yeah, you've got it, you've got it now.
984
00:46:41,173 --> 00:46:44,427
Now try it again, just a little more slowly.
985
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:47,430
(both exhaling)
986
00:46:47,722 --> 00:46:49,724
Yeah, breathe, yeah.
987
00:46:50,016 --> 00:46:51,809
You feel it? - You're right.
988
00:46:52,101 --> 00:46:55,313
I can feel the difference, thank you.
989
00:46:55,604 --> 00:46:57,690
When did you say your book is coming out again?
990
00:46:57,982 --> 00:47:00,192
- Next month, it's kind of an Eastern and western
991
00:47:00,484 --> 00:47:02,570
technique combined into a gradual,
992
00:47:02,862 --> 00:47:03,779
practical at-home program.
993
00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,823
I think you'll like it. - Hmm, sounds fascinating.
994
00:47:06,115 --> 00:47:07,867
Can you show me more?
995
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:09,035
- I'm sorry, I really can't.
996
00:47:09,327 --> 00:47:11,245
If I start that, I'll never get out of here.
997
00:47:11,537 --> 00:47:12,663
- Oh, I understand.
998
00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:14,248
Well, thank you, though. - Look, I'll tell you what,
999
00:47:14,540 --> 00:47:16,375
though, I've got a free half hour or so
1000
00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:17,835
before a seminar I'm lecturing at tonight.
1001
00:47:18,127 --> 00:47:19,295
I could stop by?
1002
00:47:19,587 --> 00:47:22,548
- I'd love that, but I'm sorry, I'm busy tonight.
1003
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,425
How about tomorrow?
1004
00:47:24,717 --> 00:47:28,346
- All right, but I am pretty pressed for time.
1005
00:47:29,764 --> 00:47:31,682
Okay, tomorrow, I'll call first.
1006
00:47:31,974 --> 00:47:33,017
What's your number?
1007
00:47:33,309 --> 00:47:35,936
(laid-back music)
1008
00:47:38,898 --> 00:47:40,316
- [Joe] You're right, we got a perfect shot from here.
1009
00:47:40,608 --> 00:47:43,652
- Of course I'm right, Joe, I'm always right.
1010
00:47:43,944 --> 00:47:44,987
- What time am I supposed to pick her up?
1011
00:47:45,279 --> 00:47:45,821
- Seven.
1012
00:47:46,113 --> 00:47:47,656
Okay, let's see this.
1013
00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:51,535
(suspenseful music)
1014
00:47:54,789 --> 00:47:55,956
Perfect.
1015
00:47:56,248 --> 00:47:58,084
All right, now remember, when you get her on the bed,
1016
00:47:58,376 --> 00:48:01,379
make sure all the lights are on so we know it's you, okay?
1017
00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,130
- Right. - All right.
1018
00:48:04,256 --> 00:48:05,674
There she is, Joe.
1019
00:48:06,675 --> 00:48:08,969
- Get a few test shots. - Good idea.
1020
00:48:09,261 --> 00:48:11,472
(camera shutter clicking)
1021
00:48:11,764 --> 00:48:15,434
oh my god, she's starting to disrobe, Joe!
1022
00:48:15,726 --> 00:48:16,811
(camera shutter clicking)
1023
00:48:17,103 --> 00:48:17,728
oh lord!
1024
00:48:19,063 --> 00:48:20,689
You know, we really shouldn't be doing this.
1025
00:48:20,981 --> 00:48:23,109
This could be interpreted as perverted behavior.
1026
00:48:23,401 --> 00:48:24,485
- Okay, well let me see.
1027
00:48:24,777 --> 00:48:25,528
(camera shutter clicking)
1028
00:48:25,820 --> 00:48:26,987
- All right!
1029
00:48:27,279 --> 00:48:28,864
I'm appalled at myself.
1030
00:48:29,156 --> 00:48:30,741
- Can I take a look, please?
1031
00:48:31,033 --> 00:48:32,451
- Come on, get lost, you get to go to bed
1032
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:33,411
with her in a couple hours.
1033
00:48:33,702 --> 00:48:35,996
You could at least allow me this pleasure.
1034
00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:41,085
(playful music) (camera shutter clicking)
1035
00:48:44,630 --> 00:48:46,173
All right, go ahead.
1036
00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:51,011
- She's gone. - sorry.
1037
00:48:52,513 --> 00:48:54,598
(snoring)
1038
00:48:56,934 --> 00:49:00,020
- well, do I look vulnerable and heartbroken enough?
1039
00:49:00,312 --> 00:49:01,105
- Let's see.
1040
00:49:02,690 --> 00:49:03,983
Slacks modestly loose.
1041
00:49:04,275 --> 00:49:06,152
Not a millimeter of chest hair exposed.
1042
00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:08,571
Understated, yet at the same time elegant.
1043
00:49:08,863 --> 00:49:11,157
I say she's yours by midnight.
1044
00:49:12,324 --> 00:49:13,367
(snoring)
1045
00:49:13,659 --> 00:49:14,368
He must of had quite a day.
1046
00:49:14,660 --> 00:49:15,786
You know something, I think we should unleash
1047
00:49:16,078 --> 00:49:18,330
a god-damn tiger here.
1048
00:49:18,622 --> 00:49:20,833
- Hey, does he know we borrowed his telescope?
1049
00:49:21,125 --> 00:49:23,836
- Yeah, I left him a note, come on.
1050
00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:27,673
(crickets chirping)
1051
00:49:30,801 --> 00:49:32,052
what's the matter with you?
1052
00:49:32,344 --> 00:49:34,054
Joe, what's the matter?
1053
00:49:35,306 --> 00:49:36,599
- She really seems like kind of a nice girl, huh?
1054
00:49:36,891 --> 00:49:38,142
- She is a nice girl, Joe, but look,
1055
00:49:38,434 --> 00:49:39,935
nobody's gonna get hurt.
1056
00:49:40,227 --> 00:49:42,396
You're gonna have a good time, she's gonna have a good time.
1057
00:49:42,688 --> 00:49:43,647
We're gonna be a grand richer,
1058
00:49:43,939 --> 00:49:47,526
and we're gonna show those idiots who's boss at Iowa state.
1059
00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:49,737
- Not to mention some great action shots for the scrapbook.
1060
00:49:50,029 --> 00:49:51,280
- Right. (chuckles)
1061
00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:53,616
so remember, the reputation
1062
00:49:55,117 --> 00:50:00,039
of Theta Pi sigmas everywhere is in your hands tonight.
1063
00:50:00,372 --> 00:50:02,583
(both slapping)
1064
00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:03,417
so in other words,
1065
00:50:03,709 --> 00:50:05,753
don't fuck this up. - Right.
1066
00:50:09,548 --> 00:50:12,092
(slapping)
1067
00:50:12,384 --> 00:50:15,137
(crickets chirping)
1068
00:50:17,681 --> 00:50:18,974
- [Madman Mac] okay, Madman Mac here,
1069
00:50:19,266 --> 00:50:21,185
on a serious note if I may, I wanna dedicate this next one
1070
00:50:21,477 --> 00:50:22,770
to my ex-wife Bunny, who taught me the meaning
1071
00:50:23,062 --> 00:50:24,647
of the word 'bliss' when she ran off to Dallas
1072
00:50:24,939 --> 00:50:26,023
with a used Cadillac salesman.
1073
00:50:26,315 --> 00:50:28,984
It's the stompers, and Coast to Coast.
1074
00:50:29,276 --> 00:50:31,362
(upbeat music)
1075
00:50:31,654 --> 00:50:35,115
- I hope you don't mind, that was our song.
1076
00:50:35,407 --> 00:50:36,784
- Oh, I understand.
1077
00:50:42,248 --> 00:50:44,959
♪ It's the traveling rock and roll show ♪
1078
00:50:45,251 --> 00:50:47,878
♪ In town and on your radio ♪
1079
00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:50,548
♪ When the drummer hits that beat ♪
1080
00:50:50,839 --> 00:50:53,842
♪ You can't help but move your feet ♪
1081
00:50:54,134 --> 00:50:56,929
♪ Boys and girls all over the town ♪
1082
00:50:57,221 --> 00:50:58,973
♪ Were spinning around and around ♪
1083
00:50:59,265 --> 00:51:00,140
- I knew it, those bastards!
1084
00:51:00,432 --> 00:51:01,642
So predictable.
1085
00:51:01,934 --> 00:51:04,311
(upbeat music)
1086
00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:09,024
♪Ain't them cats the most ♪
1087
00:51:09,316 --> 00:51:11,652
♪ Rocking from coast to coast ♪
1088
00:51:11,944 --> 00:51:16,740
♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
1089
00:51:18,409 --> 00:51:21,370
♪ Raise the glasses and give them a toast ♪
1090
00:51:21,662 --> 00:51:24,081
♪ They're reelin' and rockin' from coast to coast ♪
1091
00:51:24,373 --> 00:51:29,086
♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪
1092
00:51:29,378 --> 00:51:30,629
- Hey! - Hey crazy!
1093
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:31,839
What are you doing?
1094
00:51:32,131 --> 00:51:34,258
You broke it, dude! - Excuse me.
1095
00:51:34,550 --> 00:51:35,676
Here we go, yep.
1096
00:51:37,636 --> 00:51:40,431
(upbeat music)
1097
00:51:40,723 --> 00:51:41,348
- oh shit!
1098
00:51:43,225 --> 00:51:45,185
(horns honking)
1099
00:51:45,477 --> 00:51:48,522
(hood clatters)
1100
00:51:48,814 --> 00:51:50,065
- oh, a smile.
1101
00:51:50,357 --> 00:51:52,443
What brought that on?
1102
00:51:52,735 --> 00:51:56,488
- I don't know, I just suddenly felt better. (chuckles)
1103
00:51:56,780 --> 00:51:59,950
♪ oh ain't them cats the most ♪
1104
00:52:00,242 --> 00:52:00,909
- Mother!
1105
00:52:01,201 --> 00:52:02,202
Mother, move your god-damn Jeep!
1106
00:52:02,494 --> 00:52:04,246
- Aw, sorry guys.
1107
00:52:04,538 --> 00:52:05,164
Oh please.
1108
00:52:06,332 --> 00:52:10,544
Oh, let me guess, this is Joe's pregnant girlfriend, right?
1109
00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:12,588
You know, I thought the herpes gag was cute but this--
1110
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:14,340
- Hey, a grand is a grand, whatever works.
1111
00:52:14,632 --> 00:52:15,507
You know what I mean? - Yeah, I do know
1112
00:52:15,799 --> 00:52:17,801
what you mean, Chas. - what are you doing?
1113
00:52:18,093 --> 00:52:19,511
(keys jangle)
1114
00:52:19,803 --> 00:52:23,015
(Mother vocalizes) - Hey!
1115
00:52:25,893 --> 00:52:27,394
- [Policeman] what seems to be the problem here?
1116
00:52:27,686 --> 00:52:28,562
- No problem at all, officer.
1117
00:52:28,854 --> 00:52:30,731
My Jeep seems to have stalled.
1118
00:52:31,023 --> 00:52:33,734
- I seem to have lost my keys, sir.
1119
00:52:34,985 --> 00:52:38,656
- [Policeman] Just behave yourselves, guys.
1120
00:52:38,947 --> 00:52:41,492
- [Ashley] oh, here we go.
1121
00:52:41,784 --> 00:52:44,453
(snoring)
1122
00:52:44,745 --> 00:52:46,955
(soft music)
1123
00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:05,766
- Huh?
1124
00:53:07,184 --> 00:53:08,268
- Joe, listen.
1125
00:53:09,603 --> 00:53:13,190
I want you to know something. - Yes?
1126
00:53:13,482 --> 00:53:15,734
- Well, your friend Mother told me
1127
00:53:16,026 --> 00:53:17,027
what you're going through.
1128
00:53:17,319 --> 00:53:18,028
And I-- - He had no right
1129
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:19,655
to do that. - Yes he did.
1130
00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:21,865
He was just trying to help.
1131
00:53:22,157 --> 00:53:24,493
I understand how you're feeling right now.
1132
00:53:24,785 --> 00:53:28,163
- No, you're just saying that. - No I'm not.
1133
00:53:31,458 --> 00:53:34,545
You see, I'm wealthy too, Joe.
1134
00:53:34,837 --> 00:53:37,923
And I had somebody use me because of money.
1135
00:53:38,215 --> 00:53:42,761
It really hurts, but it gets easier with time, I promise.
1136
00:53:44,263 --> 00:53:46,557
I just want you to know that you can talk
1137
00:53:46,849 --> 00:53:49,560
to me about it if you want to.
1138
00:53:49,852 --> 00:53:53,605
And if it helps at all, you can lean on me.
1139
00:53:53,897 --> 00:53:55,107
- Well, thank you, Ashley.
1140
00:53:55,399 --> 00:53:58,068
I just might take you up on that.
1141
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:01,488
(camera shutter clicks)
1142
00:54:04,408 --> 00:54:06,910
- oh wow, look at the moon.
1143
00:54:07,202 --> 00:54:09,163
(screams)
1144
00:54:11,165 --> 00:54:13,250
(moaning)
1145
00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:19,840
oh no!
1146
00:54:20,966 --> 00:54:22,342
(shrieks)
1147
00:54:22,634 --> 00:54:24,011
- [woman] oh, rape!
1148
00:54:25,053 --> 00:54:26,138
Oh rape, rape!
1149
00:54:27,431 --> 00:54:29,600
(clicking)
1150
00:54:33,061 --> 00:54:34,605
- Listen kid, don't panic.
1151
00:54:34,897 --> 00:54:37,608
I believe you, the old bag will probably calm down
1152
00:54:37,900 --> 00:54:40,110
in a couple hours and she'll drop the charges.
1153
00:54:40,402 --> 00:54:41,737
- Oh, you think so? - sure.
1154
00:54:42,029 --> 00:54:43,447
The worst is you're gonna have to listen
1155
00:54:43,739 --> 00:54:45,365
to the chief scream at ya for a while.
1156
00:54:45,657 --> 00:54:46,575
- Chief? - Yeah.
1157
00:54:46,867 --> 00:54:47,451
You're not gonna like him.
1158
00:54:47,743 --> 00:54:49,411
Nobody does. (cell door clatters)
1159
00:54:49,703 --> 00:54:51,663
I'll tell ya, he's a colossal asshole.
1160
00:54:51,955 --> 00:54:53,290
He loves to get his rocks off busting kids
1161
00:54:53,582 --> 00:54:55,709
who wanna come to Palm springs for a little fun.
1162
00:54:56,001 --> 00:54:57,377
Just behave yourself; you'll be outta here pretty quick.
1163
00:54:57,669 --> 00:54:59,129
Okay? - okay, I will.
1164
00:55:01,089 --> 00:55:02,424
Oh, thank you.
1165
00:55:02,716 --> 00:55:04,468
- [Man] Thank you.
1166
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:07,137
(man laughing)
1167
00:55:12,392 --> 00:55:14,728
- Long dinner is a good sign.
1168
00:55:15,979 --> 00:55:18,857
I'm getting kinda bored, though.
1169
00:55:19,149 --> 00:55:20,609
Joey, where are you?
1170
00:55:23,403 --> 00:55:24,905
- It was a lovely evening, Joe.
1171
00:55:25,197 --> 00:55:27,449
- Oh, I really enjoyed it, too.
1172
00:55:27,741 --> 00:55:29,076
- Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?
1173
00:55:29,368 --> 00:55:32,246
Or maybe a brandy? - oh, no thank you.
1174
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:38,043
- Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.
1175
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:40,671
Really, I'm just a little faint.
1176
00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:42,381
I'm sure I'll be fine if I can just make it back
1177
00:55:42,673 --> 00:55:44,758
to my place and lie down. - You're not going anywhere!
1178
00:55:45,050 --> 00:55:45,926
Come with me.
1179
00:55:51,265 --> 00:55:53,976
(Joe groans)
1180
00:55:54,268 --> 00:55:55,435
- Ashley,
1181
00:55:55,727 --> 00:55:58,188
I really am sorry about this.
1182
00:55:58,480 --> 00:55:59,606
I'll be out of your hair,
1183
00:55:59,898 --> 00:56:01,483
just as soon as I can. - It's okay, Joe.
1184
00:56:01,775 --> 00:56:03,819
Just lie down for a second.
1185
00:56:09,199 --> 00:56:11,493
- All right, it's showtime!
1186
00:56:11,785 --> 00:56:13,829
The lights, the lights, the lights.
1187
00:56:14,121 --> 00:56:16,665
- Oh, it's a little dark in here.
1188
00:56:17,708 --> 00:56:19,042
- Yes!
1189
00:56:19,334 --> 00:56:21,503
Get the curtains, Joey!
1190
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:23,547
- It's stuffy, too.
1191
00:56:23,839 --> 00:56:26,633
(suspenseful music)
1192
00:56:28,594 --> 00:56:30,262
- [Mother] All right, Joe.
1193
00:56:30,554 --> 00:56:32,681
Sometimes you even amaze me.
1194
00:56:34,850 --> 00:56:35,517
- [Ashley] There, you just lay there.
1195
00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:37,811
I'll get you some water. - oh no, please!
1196
00:56:38,103 --> 00:56:39,938
(camera shutter clicks)
1197
00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:41,773
- [Mother] Get her on the bed.
1198
00:56:42,065 --> 00:56:44,776
- Can you just sit here next to me?
1199
00:56:48,739 --> 00:56:51,992
- Come on, come on, nice and easy.
1200
00:56:52,284 --> 00:56:54,536
Joey, no, don't do it, no!
1201
00:56:54,828 --> 00:56:56,538
Joe, you're blowing it!
1202
00:56:57,539 --> 00:56:59,458
(Mother groans)
1203
00:56:59,750 --> 00:57:00,375
oh god.
1204
00:57:02,669 --> 00:57:04,004
- Joe, please!
1205
00:57:04,296 --> 00:57:04,922
Stop it!
1206
00:57:05,964 --> 00:57:07,799
- God, what am I doing?
1207
00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:11,053
Ashley, really, I'm sorry.
1208
00:57:11,345 --> 00:57:12,638
I just lost my head for a minute.
1209
00:57:12,930 --> 00:57:15,307
Really, forgive me. - It's okay.
1210
00:57:15,599 --> 00:57:16,850
I just hope you didn't misinterpret anything
1211
00:57:17,142 --> 00:57:18,435
I might have said.
1212
00:57:18,727 --> 00:57:19,937
I mean, if I mislead you in any way?
1213
00:57:20,228 --> 00:57:23,815
- Oh no, no, it was completely my fault.
1214
00:57:24,107 --> 00:57:28,904
(sighs) can you just sit here, and we'll talk about it?
1215
00:57:31,073 --> 00:57:31,990
- Joe. - Hmm?
1216
00:57:32,908 --> 00:57:33,659
- Go home.
1217
00:57:38,538 --> 00:57:39,790
- Beautiful, beautiful.
1218
00:57:40,082 --> 00:57:41,416
Just wonderful, wonderful.
1219
00:57:41,708 --> 00:57:46,338
Great, just great, great, great. (groans)
1220
00:57:52,719 --> 00:57:57,641
- (sighs) I was pacing again, wasn't I?
1221
00:57:57,975 --> 00:57:58,725
I'll stop.
1222
00:57:59,935 --> 00:58:02,187
I'm sorry, I'm just nervous.
1223
00:58:03,188 --> 00:58:04,773
This is my first arrest.
1224
00:58:05,065 --> 00:58:06,692
- Sure it is, mine too.
1225
00:58:06,984 --> 00:58:08,777
- Well, what did they arrest you for?
1226
00:58:09,069 --> 00:58:10,487
- For being overly affectionate
1227
00:58:10,779 --> 00:58:13,198
to an undercover vice-squad officer.
1228
00:58:13,490 --> 00:58:15,659
- They can arrest you for that?
1229
00:58:15,951 --> 00:58:17,160
That seems unfair.
1230
00:58:17,452 --> 00:58:19,871
- Yeah, we think so too, but it's okay.
1231
00:58:20,163 --> 00:58:21,456
We're used to it.
1232
00:58:21,748 --> 00:58:23,625
(cell door clatters) (keys jangling)
1233
00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:27,295
- well, well, well, look what we got here.
1234
00:58:27,587 --> 00:58:30,257
My very own little supermarket of sin.
1235
00:58:30,549 --> 00:58:32,300
Isn't this a sight to behold.
1236
00:58:32,592 --> 00:58:34,136
- Hi Chief Butfface!
1237
00:58:34,428 --> 00:58:36,555
Take any good bribes lately?
1238
00:58:37,556 --> 00:58:39,182
- What'd you say, miss?
1239
00:58:39,474 --> 00:58:40,475
- She said, have you taken--
1240
00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:43,645
- I heard what she said, Miss Jones.
1241
00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:47,315
I just find it hard to believe that degenerate filth
1242
00:58:47,607 --> 00:58:50,736
would have the affront even to dare speak to me.
1243
00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:52,237
- Excuse me, sir?
1244
00:58:55,574 --> 00:58:56,324
- What the hell do you want?
1245
00:58:56,616 --> 00:58:58,994
You perverted little piece of shit!
1246
00:58:59,286 --> 00:59:03,290
- Oh well, forgive me for saying this, sir,
1247
00:59:03,582 --> 00:59:06,543
but please don't talk to them like that.
1248
00:59:06,835 --> 00:59:10,005
You know, we're all innocent until proven guilty.
1249
00:59:10,297 --> 00:59:13,592
I think we deserve a little more consideration.
1250
00:59:13,884 --> 00:59:15,510
- You're trying to tell me how to talk at my own jail?
1251
00:59:15,802 --> 00:59:17,929
- Well, it's just a little constructive criticism, sir.
1252
00:59:18,221 --> 00:59:19,264
- You want constructive criticism,
1253
00:59:19,556 --> 00:59:21,600
I'll give you constructive criticism.
1254
00:59:21,892 --> 00:59:24,019
Rapists make my flesh crawl.
1255
00:59:25,479 --> 00:59:27,689
You foul the very air that I breathe.
1256
00:59:27,981 --> 00:59:29,858
You and every other sinner in this place.
1257
00:59:30,150 --> 00:59:31,818
Trying to corrupt my town, my streets.
1258
00:59:32,110 --> 00:59:33,528
You have any idea who I am?
1259
00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:35,072
You miserable little twerp!
1260
00:59:35,363 --> 00:59:37,657
- Sir, aren't you Chief Buttface?
1261
00:59:37,949 --> 00:59:40,494
(women laughing)
1262
00:59:46,541 --> 00:59:48,710
(can pops)
1263
00:59:51,129 --> 00:59:52,047
- How could you blow it, Joe?
1264
00:59:52,339 --> 00:59:53,590
I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
1265
00:59:53,882 --> 00:59:54,549
- Do you wanna drop it, or what?
1266
00:59:54,841 --> 00:59:55,967
- No, I don't wanna drop it.
1267
00:59:56,259 --> 00:59:57,260
- To tell you the truth, I'm getting a little sick
1268
00:59:57,552 --> 00:59:58,595
and tired of hearing about it.
1269
00:59:58,887 --> 01:00:00,931
- Okay, Joe, I'll go upstairs, wake little Wendell,
1270
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:02,849
and ask him how we're gonna win a grand
1271
01:00:03,141 --> 01:00:04,935
with a bunch of action shots of Ashley Taylor
1272
01:00:05,227 --> 01:00:07,062
telling you to go fuck yourself.
1273
01:00:07,354 --> 01:00:08,772
- Let's get the god-damn things developed,
1274
01:00:09,064 --> 01:00:10,315
and I'll figure something out, all right?
1275
01:00:10,607 --> 01:00:11,733
- Well, you better. - well, I will.
1276
01:00:12,025 --> 01:00:13,276
- Well, you better. - well, I will.
1277
01:00:13,568 --> 01:00:17,114
- Well, you better. (water splashing)
1278
01:00:17,405 --> 01:00:19,407
- [Wendell] Listen, thanks a lot for the ride.
1279
01:00:19,699 --> 01:00:20,367
- Are you kidding?
1280
01:00:20,659 --> 01:00:22,369
Thank you for sticking up for us,
1281
01:00:22,661 --> 01:00:25,247
for bailing us out-- - For everything.
1282
01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:27,666
You were wonderful. (Wendell scoffs)
1283
01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:30,919
oh Wendell, wouldn't you like a little company?
1284
01:00:31,211 --> 01:00:35,048
- Oh well, that's very nice, but I gotta get some sleep.
1285
01:00:35,340 --> 01:00:37,342
Thanks anyway, though. - Bye, Wendell.
1286
01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:39,719
- Bye. - Bye, sweetie.
1287
01:00:40,011 --> 01:00:40,637
- Okay.
1288
01:00:46,184 --> 01:00:48,270
Boy, what a night!
1289
01:00:48,562 --> 01:00:49,521
What time is it?
1290
01:00:49,813 --> 01:00:50,772
- 5:30. - 5:30?
1291
01:00:51,815 --> 01:00:53,108
I don't believe it.
1292
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:54,693
I'm supposed to meet Nicole's parents
1293
01:00:54,985 --> 01:00:56,695
in six and a half hours.
1294
01:00:56,987 --> 01:00:59,614
How am I gonna make a good impression with no sleep?
1295
01:00:59,906 --> 01:01:00,824
You know, when I don't get eight hours
1296
01:01:01,116 --> 01:01:03,577
I look like a big pile of dog doo-doo.
1297
01:01:03,869 --> 01:01:06,204
Boy, leave it to old Wendell to get arrested
1298
01:01:06,496 --> 01:01:08,832
when I got something important to do.
1299
01:01:09,124 --> 01:01:11,042
- [Mother] Arrested, for what?
1300
01:01:11,334 --> 01:01:12,169
- Attempted rape.
1301
01:01:12,460 --> 01:01:13,420
And she let me sit there all night
1302
01:01:13,712 --> 01:01:14,963
before she dropped the charges.
1303
01:01:15,255 --> 01:01:17,966
I'm telling you, oh, I'm exhausted.
1304
01:01:20,802 --> 01:01:22,888
- We've created a monster.
1305
01:01:26,725 --> 01:01:29,477
(laid-back music)
1306
01:01:32,439 --> 01:01:33,440
- Hey gentlemen, would you like
1307
01:01:33,732 --> 01:01:35,150
to come on in and take a look?
1308
01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:36,735
- Huh? - I'm ready.
1309
01:01:41,072 --> 01:01:43,992
(suspenseful music)
1310
01:01:49,706 --> 01:01:52,000
- That's the best I could do on such short notice.
1311
01:01:52,292 --> 01:01:53,084
Give me a little bit more time,
1312
01:01:53,376 --> 01:01:54,586
I can make 'em look a lot better.
1313
01:01:54,878 --> 01:01:56,796
- (groans) These are terrible.
1314
01:01:57,088 --> 01:01:59,341
We lost, Joe. - Hey man, give me a break.
1315
01:01:59,633 --> 01:02:01,301
I told you that's the best I could do.
1316
01:02:01,593 --> 01:02:02,344
- No, no, no, that's not what I mean.
1317
01:02:02,636 --> 01:02:04,095
It's not your fault.
1318
01:02:05,764 --> 01:02:07,849
- What? - well, what now,
1319
01:02:08,141 --> 01:02:11,686
Mr. I swear to god I thought I had her?
1320
01:02:11,978 --> 01:02:14,856
- Hang on a minute, I'm thinking.
1321
01:02:15,148 --> 01:02:15,774
Okay.
1322
01:02:16,816 --> 01:02:17,567
Here.
1323
01:02:19,694 --> 01:02:22,239
What would it look like
1324
01:02:22,530 --> 01:02:24,699
if we put this on top of this?
1325
01:02:24,991 --> 01:02:28,203
- Hmm. - Yeah! (taps)
1326
01:02:28,495 --> 01:02:29,120
or...
1327
01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:34,668
how about that superimposed on this?
1328
01:02:37,545 --> 01:02:38,922
- Honestly? - Yeah.
1329
01:02:40,048 --> 01:02:42,717
- It'll look like the cover of the National Enquirer.
1330
01:02:43,009 --> 01:02:44,636
- [Mother and Joe] Perfect.
1331
01:02:44,928 --> 01:02:47,555
(recorder clicks)
1332
01:02:53,103 --> 01:02:54,396
- [Ashley] I love Chopin.
1333
01:02:54,688 --> 01:02:55,730
Would that be all right?
1334
01:02:56,022 --> 01:02:57,023
- Oh, that's good.
1335
01:02:57,315 --> 01:02:59,442
I know a lot of people recommend music
1336
01:02:59,734 --> 01:03:03,446
with a loud, heavy beat, but, here sit down.
1337
01:03:03,738 --> 01:03:05,073
As you'll see in chapter six of my book,
1338
01:03:05,365 --> 01:03:06,908
I adhere to the theory that exercise
1339
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,244
should be done in a relaxed, placid atmosphere
1340
01:03:09,536 --> 01:03:13,415
for a more total union of the physical and metaphysical.
1341
01:03:13,707 --> 01:03:15,417
Here, spread your legs.
1342
01:03:16,710 --> 01:03:17,460
Hold me.
1343
01:03:20,255 --> 01:03:24,426
I want you to remember to breathe deeply and relax.
1344
01:03:25,510 --> 01:03:27,554
We're gonna do some long circles,
1345
01:03:27,846 --> 01:03:30,640
and I want you to move with me, yes.
1346
01:03:32,183 --> 01:03:34,269
(sighing)
1347
01:03:36,438 --> 01:03:37,439
- How's this?
1348
01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:40,650
- Oh Ashley, fantastic.
1349
01:03:43,403 --> 01:03:44,571
Do you feel it?
1350
01:03:46,281 --> 01:03:47,032
- Oh yes!
1351
01:03:49,034 --> 01:03:50,201
- Does it hurt?
1352
01:03:51,369 --> 01:03:52,162
- A little.
1353
01:03:53,288 --> 01:03:55,206
But it feels good.
1354
01:03:55,498 --> 01:03:57,042
- Oh, I'm glad, yeah.
1355
01:03:59,002 --> 01:04:02,255
All right, now, we're gonna do another one
1356
01:04:02,547 --> 01:04:05,091
that I think you're gonna like even better.
1357
01:04:05,383 --> 01:04:07,552
Lie down on your back.
1358
01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:11,806
Okay, now put your hands up behind your head, like this.
1359
01:04:12,098 --> 01:04:15,143
(peaceful piano music)
1360
01:04:18,605 --> 01:04:20,648
- what are you doing?
1361
01:04:20,940 --> 01:04:22,067
Get off of me!
1362
01:04:22,359 --> 01:04:24,694
- Oh come on, baby, you know you want it!
1363
01:04:24,986 --> 01:04:26,404
Come on, just relax.
1364
01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:28,740
Relax, let it happen, yeah.
1365
01:04:29,699 --> 01:04:30,367
Hmm, good.
1366
01:04:30,658 --> 01:04:35,288
(dull thud) (Chas groans)
1367
01:04:37,415 --> 01:04:40,543
Does this mean you want me to leave?
1368
01:04:40,835 --> 01:04:43,880
(peaceful piano music)
1369
01:04:54,474 --> 01:04:56,810
(door thuds)
1370
01:04:59,187 --> 01:05:01,940
(classical music)
1371
01:05:18,415 --> 01:05:20,458
- I'm sure daddy will be along any minute.
1372
01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:23,837
- I certainly hope so; I despise it when he's late.
1373
01:05:24,129 --> 01:05:24,671
So, Willard--
1374
01:05:24,963 --> 01:05:27,424
- Mother, it's Wendell. - whatever.
1375
01:05:27,715 --> 01:05:30,218
Just exactly what is it that your father does?
1376
01:05:30,510 --> 01:05:32,178
- He owns one of the largest pig farms
1377
01:05:32,470 --> 01:05:35,181
in central Iowa, Mrs. Ferret.
1378
01:05:35,473 --> 01:05:37,642
- He's a pig farmer?
1379
01:05:37,934 --> 01:05:38,810
- Yes, ma'am!
1380
01:05:40,562 --> 01:05:44,816
- Did you know this, Nicole? - of course not, mother.
1381
01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:51,364
- Oh!
1382
01:05:51,656 --> 01:05:53,408
- How do you do, sir?
1383
01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:55,034
I'm Wendell Tvedt.
1384
01:05:55,326 --> 01:05:56,202
- How do you do, Wendell?
1385
01:05:56,494 --> 01:05:59,289
Would you care to see the wine list?
1386
01:06:04,711 --> 01:06:06,296
- I think we'll just wait for my husband.
1387
01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:07,964
Thank you, Alfonze.
1388
01:06:12,552 --> 01:06:14,804
- Oh good, here's daddy now.
1389
01:06:16,347 --> 01:06:20,101
(dramatic instrumental music)
1390
01:06:24,314 --> 01:06:25,648
- Rapist! (growls)
1391
01:06:25,940 --> 01:06:28,401
(women shriek) (chief groans)
1392
01:06:28,693 --> 01:06:31,488
(table and dishes clattering)
1393
01:06:31,779 --> 01:06:33,948
(clattering)
1394
01:06:35,158 --> 01:06:37,494
(door thuds)
1395
01:06:38,745 --> 01:06:41,080
- what's going on? - Ridiculous!
1396
01:06:41,372 --> 01:06:44,167
(guests chattering)
1397
01:06:47,045 --> 01:06:50,048
(soft music)
1398
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:51,216
- oh Wendell?
1399
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:57,305
I don't think my father liked you very much, I'm sorry.
1400
01:06:59,265 --> 01:07:00,517
- No you're not.
1401
01:07:02,268 --> 01:07:04,062
- Well I most certainly am.
1402
01:07:04,354 --> 01:07:05,355
What do you mean?
1403
01:07:05,647 --> 01:07:07,690
- I saw you smiling, Nicole.
1404
01:07:07,982 --> 01:07:09,651
- I didn't smile.
1405
01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:12,820
I happen to be very upset about this.
1406
01:07:14,197 --> 01:07:16,366
Let's face it, you blew it.
1407
01:07:19,577 --> 01:07:21,746
- I didn't blow it, Nicole.
1408
01:07:23,289 --> 01:07:26,626
I didn't do anything wrong in there.
1409
01:07:26,918 --> 01:07:30,630
And what your father did to me was very unfair.
1410
01:07:32,423 --> 01:07:34,175
You know what I think?
1411
01:07:36,427 --> 01:07:38,555
I think you liked it.
1412
01:07:38,846 --> 01:07:40,765
I think you like seeing your father
1413
01:07:41,057 --> 01:07:43,393
do that to your boyfriends.
1414
01:07:43,685 --> 01:07:45,228
- You're just being silly.
1415
01:07:45,520 --> 01:07:48,356
- And you know what else I think, Nicole?
1416
01:07:48,648 --> 01:07:51,609
I think that makes you, not very nice.
1417
01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:56,614
That's too bad, 'cause I really thought you were.
1418
01:07:58,324 --> 01:08:01,578
- Well, if that's the way you feel about it.
1419
01:08:01,869 --> 01:08:03,162
Good bye, Wendell!
1420
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:07,417
(soft music)
1421
01:08:13,798 --> 01:08:15,258
- Good bye, Nicole.
1422
01:08:34,861 --> 01:08:36,946
- [Chas and J.C.] Ready or not, here we come!
1423
01:08:37,238 --> 01:08:38,406
- [Mother] Yeah, we're ready for you too, suckers.
1424
01:08:38,698 --> 01:08:39,490
Get up here.
1425
01:08:44,203 --> 01:08:44,996
(J.C. whoops)
1426
01:08:45,288 --> 01:08:47,248
- Pay up, boys, we scored!
1427
01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:50,960
- So did we.
1428
01:08:51,252 --> 01:08:52,629
- I don't believe it.
1429
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:55,715
(suspenseful music)
1430
01:09:01,012 --> 01:09:02,597
- Read 'em and weep.
1431
01:09:15,193 --> 01:09:16,611
- Well now, wait a minute.
1432
01:09:16,903 --> 01:09:18,071
What the hell does this prove?
1433
01:09:18,363 --> 01:09:19,030
You've got your clothes on,
1434
01:09:19,322 --> 01:09:20,323
and she's not even in bed with you.
1435
01:09:20,615 --> 01:09:22,116
I mean, how the hell do we know anything happened?
1436
01:09:22,408 --> 01:09:24,369
- Come on, Chas, she's naked, I'm reaching for her.
1437
01:09:24,661 --> 01:09:25,495
What more do you need? - Yeah!
1438
01:09:25,787 --> 01:09:27,872
I suppose you got something better?
1439
01:09:28,164 --> 01:09:28,790
- Yes.
1440
01:09:29,832 --> 01:09:30,583
J.C.?
1441
01:09:34,379 --> 01:09:37,298
- [Chas on Tape] very good, you're fantastic, Ashley.
1442
01:09:37,590 --> 01:09:39,384
(groans) Does it hurt?
1443
01:09:39,676 --> 01:09:41,886
- [Ashley on Tape] A little, but it feels good.
1444
01:09:42,178 --> 01:09:43,763
- Mm hmm? - Yeah!
1445
01:09:44,055 --> 01:09:46,015
(moaning)
1446
01:09:47,767 --> 01:09:49,352
- In case you didn't recognize it, gentlemen,
1447
01:09:49,644 --> 01:09:52,689
that's the sound of two people fucking.
1448
01:09:54,065 --> 01:09:54,899
- So it is.
1449
01:09:56,651 --> 01:09:57,777
But when?
1450
01:09:58,069 --> 01:09:59,070
- When what?
1451
01:09:59,362 --> 01:10:00,238
- When did you do it to her?
1452
01:10:00,530 --> 01:10:02,490
- Not more than six hours ago.
1453
01:10:02,782 --> 01:10:05,493
- Ah ha, well, I took those pictures
1454
01:10:05,785 --> 01:10:08,496
on that roof last night, my friend.
1455
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:19,549
- Take money on a bullshit technicality like that?
1456
01:10:19,841 --> 01:10:20,550
- Admit it.
1457
01:10:23,386 --> 01:10:25,054
- Here, you assholes.
1458
01:10:30,393 --> 01:10:33,312
- On behalf of Theta Pi sigmas everywhere--
1459
01:10:33,604 --> 01:10:34,856
(both slapping)
1460
01:10:35,148 --> 01:10:38,443
we humbly thank you for your contribution.
1461
01:10:41,112 --> 01:10:43,740
Easiest money I've ever made in my life.
1462
01:10:44,031 --> 01:10:46,993
- It certainly is, you son of a bitch!
1463
01:10:50,371 --> 01:10:52,039
You made a bet on me?
1464
01:10:54,584 --> 01:10:56,210
How could you do this?
1465
01:10:56,502 --> 01:10:59,922
And what kind of people are you, anyway?
1466
01:11:00,214 --> 01:11:01,215
I just wish you'd tell me what I did
1467
01:11:01,507 --> 01:11:04,093
to any of you to deserve this.
1468
01:11:04,385 --> 01:11:07,180
I mean, is it fun lying to someone?
1469
01:11:07,472 --> 01:11:11,976
Taking advantage of their vulnerability for a stupid bet?
1470
01:11:13,644 --> 01:11:16,481
And now you're lying to each other.
1471
01:11:20,401 --> 01:11:21,152
Tell them.
1472
01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:24,322
Nothing happened.
1473
01:11:24,614 --> 01:11:26,824
I want you to tell them that.
1474
01:11:32,038 --> 01:11:33,456
Then you tell 'em.
1475
01:11:38,628 --> 01:11:41,964
(scoffs) what's the use?
1476
01:11:47,261 --> 01:11:48,888
- You lied about this?
1477
01:11:49,180 --> 01:11:51,349
Give me my money back.
1478
01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:52,433
- Fuck the money, man.
1479
01:11:52,725 --> 01:11:53,810
We gotta go after her.
1480
01:11:54,101 --> 01:11:55,478
- What for? It's over.
1481
01:11:55,770 --> 01:11:57,605
- Don't you think she deserves an apology?
1482
01:11:57,897 --> 01:11:59,106
- Fine, I'll send her some dowers.
1483
01:11:59,398 --> 01:12:00,441
In the meantime, could you get me a beer?
1484
01:12:00,733 --> 01:12:01,317
I am beat.
1485
01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:10,117
(door thuds)
1486
01:12:10,409 --> 01:12:12,411
(engine revs)
1487
01:12:12,703 --> 01:12:13,329
- Ashley!
1488
01:12:14,372 --> 01:12:15,373
Wait, please!
1489
01:12:16,457 --> 01:12:17,208
I'm sorry!
1490
01:12:20,169 --> 01:12:22,213
- You really don't give a shit, do you?
1491
01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:23,923
- What the hell are you getting so self-righteous about?
1492
01:12:24,215 --> 01:12:25,383
You were into it as much as we were.
1493
01:12:25,675 --> 01:12:26,592
- I'm not talking about the bet.
1494
01:12:26,884 --> 01:12:28,803
I'm talking about your fucking attitudes about everything.
1495
01:12:29,095 --> 01:12:30,137
The way you treat people, you smug--
1496
01:12:30,429 --> 01:12:33,057
(telephone rings)
1497
01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:37,019
who told you, you guys could have those beers anyway?
1498
01:12:37,311 --> 01:12:39,021
Hello? - oh Wendell, is that you?
1499
01:12:39,313 --> 01:12:41,274
- No, this is Mother. - This is Nicole.
1500
01:12:41,566 --> 01:12:43,234
- Oh hi, Nicole. - Is Wendell there?
1501
01:12:43,526 --> 01:12:44,235
- Yeah, no.
1502
01:12:45,486 --> 01:12:46,529
Why?
1503
01:12:46,821 --> 01:12:48,531
I thought he was with you. - Well, he was.
1504
01:12:48,823 --> 01:12:50,533
My father beat him up.
1505
01:12:50,825 --> 01:12:52,869
- He what? - Yeah, he beat him up.
1506
01:12:53,160 --> 01:12:54,912
- He beat him up?
1507
01:12:55,204 --> 01:12:57,415
- [Nicole] I feel terrible, it was all my fault.
1508
01:12:57,707 --> 01:12:59,458
- Look, is he all right?
1509
01:12:59,750 --> 01:13:00,626
- [Nicole] I don't know.
1510
01:13:00,918 --> 01:13:02,962
I was hoping that-- (line clicks)
1511
01:13:03,254 --> 01:13:03,880
- Hello?
1512
01:13:04,922 --> 01:13:07,592
(dramatic music)
1513
01:13:10,011 --> 01:13:13,222
Look, you guys wait here, watch for Ashley.
1514
01:13:13,514 --> 01:13:15,975
Something's happened to Wendell.
1515
01:13:18,352 --> 01:13:21,063
(suspenseful music)
1516
01:13:21,355 --> 01:13:22,523
- she wouldn't stop.
1517
01:13:22,815 --> 01:13:23,649
What's going on? - Wendell.
1518
01:13:23,941 --> 01:13:25,067
Nicole's father beat him up.
1519
01:13:25,359 --> 01:13:25,902
- Did what?
1520
01:13:26,193 --> 01:13:27,445
- She called and we got cut off.
1521
01:13:27,737 --> 01:13:28,279
- Where is he?
1522
01:13:28,571 --> 01:13:30,448
Is he okay? - I don't know.
1523
01:13:30,740 --> 01:13:32,199
- He's got the Jeep.
1524
01:13:33,492 --> 01:13:35,870
- Well, I'd prefer a Mercedes anyway.
1525
01:13:36,162 --> 01:13:37,622
- Keys? - Keys, no keys.
1526
01:13:37,914 --> 01:13:40,124
- You ever hot wire before? - Yes, of course, yeah.
1527
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:41,626
- Really? - Yeah, yeah.
1528
01:13:41,918 --> 01:13:42,877
Of course. -Are you sure?
1529
01:13:43,169 --> 01:13:44,253
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1530
01:13:44,545 --> 01:13:45,755
Why do you think they call me Predonna Jones?
1531
01:13:46,047 --> 01:13:47,214
- Come on, this is no time for jokes.
1532
01:13:47,506 --> 01:13:49,967
(engine starts)
1533
01:13:52,053 --> 01:13:54,555
(tires squeal)
1534
01:13:56,349 --> 01:13:57,892
sure it wasn't Bing Crosby Drive?
1535
01:13:58,184 --> 01:13:58,976
- [Mother] Bob Hope, Joe.
1536
01:13:59,268 --> 01:14:02,104
Just look for a mailbox shaped like a little castle.
1537
01:14:02,396 --> 01:14:03,272
- [Joe] How can anybody beat up Wendell?
1538
01:14:03,564 --> 01:14:05,441
I hope he's okay. - He better be.
1539
01:14:05,733 --> 01:14:06,859
- [Joe] There it is, right there.
1540
01:14:07,151 --> 01:14:09,946
(suspenseful music)
1541
01:14:25,753 --> 01:14:27,922
(knocking)
1542
01:14:30,675 --> 01:14:33,010
(both knock)
1543
01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:35,680
- Hi.
1544
01:14:37,807 --> 01:14:39,225
Did you find him?
1545
01:14:39,517 --> 01:14:41,394
- No, we didn't.
1546
01:14:41,686 --> 01:14:42,436
- Look, what did he say?
1547
01:14:42,728 --> 01:14:43,729
What's going on?
1548
01:14:44,021 --> 01:14:45,398
- He was very upset.
1549
01:14:45,690 --> 01:14:47,817
- Do you have any idea where he might have gone?
1550
01:14:48,109 --> 01:14:51,153
- Well, I don't know, he-- - sweetheart?
1551
01:14:52,905 --> 01:14:53,948
I'll handle this. - But daddy--
1552
01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:56,701
- You go back to our guests now.
1553
01:14:57,702 --> 01:14:59,954
- Ah, excuse me, but we were talking to Nicole.
1554
01:15:00,246 --> 01:15:01,455
- So now you're talking to me,
1555
01:15:01,747 --> 01:15:02,915
and we're entertaining back there.
1556
01:15:03,207 --> 01:15:04,625
So why don't you two punks get the hell out of here?
1557
01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:06,252
- Ah, sir, we're looking for Wendell.
1558
01:15:06,544 --> 01:15:08,754
- Oh, you're friends with that little bag of slime, huh?
1559
01:15:09,046 --> 01:15:09,839
- What did you call him? - I called him
1560
01:15:10,131 --> 01:15:12,049
a little bag of slime, why? - what'd you do to him?
1561
01:15:12,341 --> 01:15:13,801
- Same thing I'm gonna do to you two
1562
01:15:14,093 --> 01:15:15,803
unless you haul your butts out of here.
1563
01:15:16,095 --> 01:15:18,764
- Sir, we'd like to finish our conversation with Nicole.
1564
01:15:19,056 --> 01:15:20,141
It'll only take a minute.
1565
01:15:20,433 --> 01:15:22,268
- Yeah, sure you would, yeah.
1566
01:15:22,560 --> 01:15:25,312
You and every other horny little bastard in this town.
1567
01:15:25,604 --> 01:15:27,898
Want you to keep away from my daughter and my house!
1568
01:15:28,190 --> 01:15:29,525
Don't show your faces around here again.
1569
01:15:29,817 --> 01:15:31,277
You make me sick!
1570
01:15:31,569 --> 01:15:32,820
- Listen, sir, please!
1571
01:15:33,112 --> 01:15:34,321
If we could just.
1572
01:15:36,449 --> 01:15:38,284
(soft instrumental music)
1573
01:15:38,576 --> 01:15:39,577
- Forgive the intrusion.
1574
01:15:39,869 --> 01:15:41,912
Just a couple of foreign college kids.
1575
01:15:42,204 --> 01:15:43,789
- Daddy, I wanted to talk to them.
1576
01:15:44,081 --> 01:15:46,959
- Isn't she adorable, my sweet little honey child.
1577
01:15:47,251 --> 01:15:48,544
You know, I try to treat these kids decently
1578
01:15:48,836 --> 01:15:50,588
when they come into town.
1579
01:15:50,880 --> 01:15:53,257
I'm fair, I'm lenient, what thanks do I get?
1580
01:15:53,549 --> 01:15:57,094
Intrusions, disrespect, attempts to lure my daughter
1581
01:15:57,386 --> 01:16:00,639
into all kinds of mischief. (laughs)
1582
01:16:00,931 --> 01:16:03,059
come on, Jose, crank 'er up!
1583
01:16:07,188 --> 01:16:09,607
(engine revs)
1584
01:16:20,618 --> 01:16:23,788
(dramatic music)
1585
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:26,457
(tires squeal)
1586
01:16:44,934 --> 01:16:47,353
(music slows)
1587
01:16:49,605 --> 01:16:51,816
(clattering)
1588
01:16:52,108 --> 01:16:55,069
(screaming and splashing)
1589
01:16:55,361 --> 01:16:56,153
- oh my god!
1590
01:17:04,286 --> 01:17:07,123
- We did say please, mother fucker.
1591
01:17:15,506 --> 01:17:18,300
(clattering)
1592
01:17:18,592 --> 01:17:22,096
- Look, I'm not a criminal, I am a college student.
1593
01:17:22,388 --> 01:17:24,056
- [Guard] That's what they all say.
1594
01:17:24,348 --> 01:17:25,224
- Must be us.
1595
01:17:26,183 --> 01:17:27,935
- [Mother] oh, lovely.
1596
01:17:31,730 --> 01:17:33,983
(door clatters)
1597
01:17:34,275 --> 01:17:35,067
- Bunk beds?
1598
01:17:36,735 --> 01:17:39,738
- Flip you for the top bunk.
1599
01:17:40,030 --> 01:17:41,615
- That's cute, cute.
1600
01:17:41,907 --> 01:17:44,118
(soft music)
1601
01:17:53,169 --> 01:17:58,090
♪ where you gonna run to ♪
1602
01:17:58,632 --> 01:18:03,179
♪ When there's no place to hide ♪
1603
01:18:03,470 --> 01:18:08,267
♪ How you gonna smile when you're hurt ♪
1604
01:18:09,268 --> 01:18:12,354
♪ So deep down inside ♪
1605
01:18:24,325 --> 01:18:29,246
♪ How you gonna keep your hands from shaking ♪
1606
01:18:34,877 --> 01:18:39,465
♪ When your heart and soul are breaking ♪
1607
01:18:45,304 --> 01:18:49,642
♪ You're fooling no one but yourself ♪
1608
01:18:55,689 --> 01:19:00,027
♪ You're fooling no one but yourself ♪
1609
01:19:06,784 --> 01:19:10,621
- Thanks a lot for stopping; my car broke down.
1610
01:19:10,913 --> 01:19:11,538
Oh hi!
1611
01:19:13,082 --> 01:19:14,375
Are you okay?
1612
01:19:14,667 --> 01:19:15,542
What's wrong?
1613
01:19:20,673 --> 01:19:22,716
- Look sir, that vehicle you're holding as evidence
1614
01:19:23,008 --> 01:19:25,261
happens to be my $40,000 Mercedes.
1615
01:19:25,552 --> 01:19:27,680
- Well, that just about makes you an accessory, doesn't it?
1616
01:19:27,972 --> 01:19:29,139
What's your name?
1617
01:19:29,431 --> 01:19:31,642
- Charles Lawlor lll.
1618
01:19:31,934 --> 01:19:34,687
We had no idea they took the car, and I'd like it back.
1619
01:19:34,979 --> 01:19:37,022
- Oh, they perpetrated their flagrant destruction
1620
01:19:37,314 --> 01:19:39,149
of private property and they stole a vehicle.
1621
01:19:39,441 --> 01:19:40,818
That's gonna add some time to their sentence.
1622
01:19:41,110 --> 01:19:42,361
- No, see, they didn't actually steal it.
1623
01:19:42,653 --> 01:19:43,362
They were just sort of borrowing it.
1624
01:19:43,654 --> 01:19:44,363
- Look, look, look, look,
1625
01:19:44,655 --> 01:19:45,823
this is getting entirely out of hand.
1626
01:19:46,115 --> 01:19:46,824
How much?
1627
01:19:47,116 --> 01:19:47,992
- I beg your pardon?
1628
01:19:48,284 --> 01:19:50,828
- How much to take care of my friends and my car?
1629
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:52,871
- Are you attempting to bribe an officer of the law?
1630
01:19:53,163 --> 01:19:54,456
- No, I'm just trying to-- -All right, rich boy.
1631
01:19:54,748 --> 01:19:56,917
You got two choices: Put the money back in your pocket
1632
01:19:57,209 --> 01:19:58,377
and get the hell out of here.
1633
01:19:58,669 --> 01:19:59,586
Or I'm gonna make it a foursome in that, son,
1634
01:19:59,878 --> 01:20:02,298
now what's it gonna be?
1635
01:20:02,589 --> 01:20:05,634
- (sighs) J.C. yeah.
1636
01:20:05,926 --> 01:20:08,929
(upbeat music)
1637
01:20:09,221 --> 01:20:12,182
- [Madman Mac] okay, you last blasters,
1638
01:20:12,474 --> 01:20:14,018
this is Madman Mac with an important message
1639
01:20:14,310 --> 01:20:17,187
from the mighty management at the Ramada resort.
1640
01:20:17,479 --> 01:20:19,773
No drinking, no drugs, no running, no pushing,
1641
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:23,110
no shoving, no splashing, no diving, no jumping,
1642
01:20:23,402 --> 01:20:26,905
no screaming, no yelling, no dancing, no singing,
1643
01:20:27,197 --> 01:20:30,117
no rocking, no rolling, no kissing, no hugging!
1644
01:20:30,409 --> 01:20:34,455
In other words, get it up but keep it down!
1645
01:20:34,747 --> 01:20:37,124
(upbeat music)
1646
01:20:42,755 --> 01:20:47,217
- Excuse me, excuse me, can I have your attention, please!
1647
01:20:47,509 --> 01:20:48,135
Thank you!
1648
01:20:49,178 --> 01:20:51,347
I'm Chas Lawlor, Iowa state.
1649
01:20:51,638 --> 01:20:53,098
I'd like to talk to you for a minute.
1650
01:20:53,390 --> 01:20:55,684
While I do, the drinks are on me.
1651
01:20:55,976 --> 01:20:59,772
(crowd cheering and applauding)
1652
01:21:04,151 --> 01:21:08,197
chief of police Buttface with his usual Gestapo tactics
1653
01:21:08,489 --> 01:21:10,240
has incarcerated two of our fellow students
1654
01:21:10,532 --> 01:21:12,368
for a minor infraction.
1655
01:21:12,659 --> 01:21:16,038
So there's one thing I would like you to do.
1656
01:21:16,330 --> 01:21:18,707
(vocalizing)
1657
01:21:18,999 --> 01:21:23,629
♪Another palm drink to the jailhouse blues ♪
1658
01:21:23,921 --> 01:21:26,131
(vocalizing)
1659
01:21:30,552 --> 01:21:33,389
- Hey Mother, it's the chief!
1660
01:21:33,680 --> 01:21:35,099
- Hi, chief!
1661
01:21:35,391 --> 01:21:37,518
- Are you two little faggots comfortable?
1662
01:21:37,810 --> 01:21:38,894
- Oh, pretty comfortable.
1663
01:21:39,186 --> 01:21:40,896
We could use a pool table, however.
1664
01:21:41,188 --> 01:21:42,856
- But other than that, it's kinda nice.
1665
01:21:43,148 --> 01:21:45,609
(horns honking)
1666
01:21:49,238 --> 01:21:51,990
(people chanting)
1667
01:21:54,451 --> 01:21:56,954
(upbeat music)
1668
01:21:58,038 --> 01:22:00,457
- [Madman Mac] I got a bulletin for all you Last Blasters
1669
01:22:00,749 --> 01:22:04,795
still not with it, hey, the Last Blast has been moved, baby,
1670
01:22:05,087 --> 01:22:07,256
from the Ramada resort to the Palm springs city Hall.
1671
01:22:07,548 --> 01:22:09,299
That's okay, it doesn't matter where you do it,
1672
01:22:09,591 --> 01:22:12,636
but how you do it, so let's do it, do it.
1673
01:22:12,928 --> 01:22:14,847
Free the Palm springs Two!
1674
01:22:15,139 --> 01:22:19,685
♪ I'm coming into the tune to rock some more ♪
1675
01:22:19,977 --> 01:22:22,438
- What the hell's going on here?
1676
01:22:23,480 --> 01:22:24,231
Holy shit!
1677
01:22:26,442 --> 01:22:27,192
Nelson,
1678
01:22:28,652 --> 01:22:29,736
the bull horn.
1679
01:22:32,322 --> 01:22:35,409
(horn crackles)
1680
01:22:35,701 --> 01:22:36,326
- Daddy?
1681
01:22:37,369 --> 01:22:40,289
(crowd chanting)
1682
01:22:40,581 --> 01:22:42,291
- okay, get your guys out of here, I gotta work overtime.
1683
01:22:42,583 --> 01:22:45,461
All right, boys and girls, now hear this!
1684
01:22:45,752 --> 01:22:46,378
Hear this!
1685
01:22:47,880 --> 01:22:50,466
I want you all to disperse, right now, that's it.
1686
01:22:50,757 --> 01:22:52,092
Nope, pack it up, let's go home.
1687
01:22:52,384 --> 01:22:53,760
Good night.
1688
01:22:54,052 --> 01:22:55,345
Now that's enough!
1689
01:22:56,597 --> 01:22:58,515
I order you to disperse!
1690
01:23:00,350 --> 01:23:03,187
(crowd booing)
1691
01:23:03,479 --> 01:23:06,023
That's it, I warned you, turkeys.
1692
01:23:07,024 --> 01:23:08,525
Get ready for this.
1693
01:23:12,529 --> 01:23:14,948
Nelson, call in the National Guard.
1694
01:23:15,240 --> 01:23:16,450
- Daddy? - Not now, sweetheart.
1695
01:23:16,742 --> 01:23:17,618
Daddy's busy.
1696
01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:21,330
What the hell does it take?
1697
01:23:21,622 --> 01:23:22,706
- Let them go. - what?
1698
01:23:22,998 --> 01:23:24,833
- I said, let them go, please.
1699
01:23:25,125 --> 01:23:28,337
- Absolutely not, it's out of the question.
1700
01:23:28,629 --> 01:23:30,172
- If you don't let them go,
1701
01:23:30,464 --> 01:23:32,966
I will never, ever speak to you again.
1702
01:23:33,258 --> 01:23:34,051
- Oh, sweetheart!
1703
01:23:34,343 --> 01:23:35,761
- And I'll marry a democrat.
1704
01:23:36,053 --> 01:23:37,846
(chief groans)
1705
01:23:38,138 --> 01:23:41,350
(crowd cheering)
1706
01:23:41,642 --> 01:23:44,019
(upbeat music)
1707
01:24:00,744 --> 01:24:01,787
- Thanks for coming, Chas.
1708
01:24:02,079 --> 01:24:04,081
- Hey, when it's us against you guys, I root for us.
1709
01:24:04,373 --> 01:24:06,750
When it's us against them, I root for all of us.
1710
01:24:07,042 --> 01:24:07,876
- All right!
1711
01:24:08,168 --> 01:24:11,463
(crowd cheering and clapping)
1712
01:24:11,755 --> 01:24:16,552
- As you know, ours was a short but grueling imprisonment.
1713
01:24:17,219 --> 01:24:19,096
An imprisonment rife with the anguish of knowing
1714
01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:23,100
that while we were in there, staring at cold steel bars,
1715
01:24:23,392 --> 01:24:26,144
you guys were out here partying your asses off!
1716
01:24:26,436 --> 01:24:30,065
(crowd cheering and clapping)
1717
01:24:31,483 --> 01:24:35,737
I want you to know, that if we had it to do over,
1718
01:24:36,029 --> 01:24:37,281
we'd do it again!
1719
01:24:37,573 --> 01:24:39,616
(cheering)
1720
01:24:41,577 --> 01:24:45,289
- oh, and look, Ashley, see those three stars right there?
1721
01:24:45,581 --> 01:24:48,292
- Uh huh. - Those form Orion's Belt.
1722
01:24:49,668 --> 01:24:53,338
- Was Nicole really your first girlfriend?
1723
01:24:53,630 --> 01:24:57,467
- Well, if you call seeing the same person
1724
01:24:57,759 --> 01:25:01,138
two days in a row your girlfriend, I guess.
1725
01:25:02,639 --> 01:25:04,641
Want to know something kinda funny?
1726
01:25:04,933 --> 01:25:05,767
- What?
1727
01:25:06,059 --> 01:25:10,856
- I think Joe and Mother think Nicole and I really did it.
1728
01:25:11,440 --> 01:25:12,524
But we didn't.
1729
01:25:14,735 --> 01:25:16,361
To tell you the truth, I've never really
1730
01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:19,781
done it with anyone; I'm still a virgin.
1731
01:25:21,742 --> 01:25:26,330
But that's okay, there's not many of us left in the world.
1732
01:25:26,622 --> 01:25:27,831
Are you one, too?
1733
01:25:29,333 --> 01:25:32,294
- Would you be disappointed if I weren't?
1734
01:25:32,586 --> 01:25:34,463
- Oh no, Ashley, not at all.
1735
01:25:34,755 --> 01:25:37,466
I mean, I'm not one because I wanna be or anything.
1736
01:25:37,758 --> 01:25:41,136
It's just kinda worked out that way so far.
1737
01:25:45,682 --> 01:25:48,185
- But you let Joe and Mother go on believing
1738
01:25:48,477 --> 01:25:50,270
that you and Nicole had.
1739
01:25:51,772 --> 01:25:53,065
- Yeah.
1740
01:25:53,357 --> 01:25:54,399
- Why, Wendell?
1741
01:25:56,193 --> 01:25:57,778
- I don't know.
1742
01:25:58,070 --> 01:25:59,821
It was probably the wrong thing to do,
1743
01:26:00,113 --> 01:26:01,990
but for the first time since I've known them,
1744
01:26:02,282 --> 01:26:04,326
they actually seem to like me.
1745
01:26:04,618 --> 01:26:06,578
I don't know why, but for some reason
1746
01:26:06,870 --> 01:26:09,831
it seems to make a difference to them.
1747
01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:14,920
- Is it that important that they like you?
1748
01:26:17,339 --> 01:26:19,091
- Yeah, I guess it is.
1749
01:26:20,133 --> 01:26:22,636
It just hurts to feel left out.
1750
01:26:26,139 --> 01:26:27,557
- You bet it does.
1751
01:26:30,727 --> 01:26:33,063
(soft music)
1752
01:26:49,579 --> 01:26:52,082
(upbeat music)
1753
01:26:54,084 --> 01:26:56,753
(crowd cheering)
1754
01:26:58,755 --> 01:27:01,633
(Mother cheers)
1755
01:27:01,925 --> 01:27:03,802
- [Man] shake it, Mother!
1756
01:27:05,011 --> 01:27:07,973
- When Chas Lawlor sacrificed his beloved Mercedes,
1757
01:27:08,265 --> 01:27:11,059
I heard him say, "Fuck it, it's insured."
1758
01:27:11,351 --> 01:27:14,813
well, that's kinda how I feel about life.
1759
01:27:15,105 --> 01:27:17,065
- Whoa boy, let's go, let's break out the champagne.
1760
01:27:17,357 --> 01:27:18,608
- Where's the champagne!
1761
01:27:18,900 --> 01:27:21,445
(group cheering)
1762
01:27:23,196 --> 01:27:25,949
- oh wow, look at this, cool ball!
1763
01:27:27,242 --> 01:27:28,827
Whoa all right, yeah!
1764
01:27:29,119 --> 01:27:32,706
- Hey, hey, could you keep it down in here a little?
1765
01:27:32,998 --> 01:27:34,541
You woke me up.
1766
01:27:34,833 --> 01:27:36,501
- Wendell, where the hell have you been?
1767
01:27:36,793 --> 01:27:38,211
We've been worried about you.
1768
01:27:38,503 --> 01:27:40,922
- I'm sorry, Joe, I didn't mean to worry you.
1769
01:27:41,214 --> 01:27:41,840
I'm okay.
1770
01:27:47,262 --> 01:27:50,015
(group murmuring)
1771
01:27:53,101 --> 01:27:54,269
- You sure are.
1772
01:27:55,520 --> 01:27:57,105
- All right.
1773
01:27:57,397 --> 01:27:59,065
All right, I'm man enough to admit defeat.
1774
01:27:59,357 --> 01:28:02,319
I guess the Theta Pis won, here.
1775
01:28:02,611 --> 01:28:06,114
- Oh, I don't want that, Chas, thanks anyway.
1776
01:28:11,745 --> 01:28:14,748
- Under the circumstances, I don't expect you
1777
01:28:15,040 --> 01:28:17,709
to believe a word of this but,
1778
01:28:18,001 --> 01:28:19,711
I really am sorry, Ashley.
1779
01:28:20,003 --> 01:28:23,423
You're a very nice person, and you don't deserve--
1780
01:28:23,715 --> 01:28:24,591
- Joe. - Yeah?
1781
01:28:30,597 --> 01:28:34,351
- Any friend of Wendell's is a friend of mine.
1782
01:28:37,479 --> 01:28:39,481
- All right, have a beer.
1783
01:28:42,067 --> 01:28:43,151
- We go way back, Wendell and I.
1784
01:28:43,443 --> 01:28:45,070
- Yeah, we've been close for close to 30, 40 seconds now.
1785
01:28:45,362 --> 01:28:46,571
(group laughing)
1786
01:28:46,863 --> 01:28:47,697
(doorbell ringing) - Hey, that's Mother!
1787
01:28:47,989 --> 01:28:48,615
Wendell, hold the door.
1788
01:28:48,907 --> 01:28:49,699
- Oh Mother!
1789
01:28:52,244 --> 01:28:53,787
(group cheers)
1790
01:28:54,079 --> 01:28:55,247
- we got it!
1791
01:28:55,539 --> 01:28:56,998
- Hold it, one, two,
1792
01:28:58,041 --> 01:28:58,792
three!
1793
01:29:01,670 --> 01:29:02,629
- Mother.
1794
01:29:02,921 --> 01:29:04,214
- [Both] surprise!
1795
01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:08,552
(shrieks)
1796
01:29:08,844 --> 01:29:10,220
- Wendell!
1797
01:29:10,512 --> 01:29:11,847
I'm proud of you son, I'm real proud.
1798
01:29:12,138 --> 01:29:14,349
- Oh no, it's his parents! (laughing)
1799
01:29:14,641 --> 01:29:15,559
- [Wendell] when did you two get in?
1800
01:29:15,851 --> 01:29:18,186
- We just got here, we wanted to surprise you.
1801
01:29:18,478 --> 01:29:19,104
- Sorry.
1802
01:29:20,397 --> 01:29:21,898
- Mother! - Mother!
1803
01:29:22,190 --> 01:29:24,234
(cheering)
1804
01:29:27,571 --> 01:29:30,699
- All right! (cheering)
1805
01:29:30,991 --> 01:29:31,825
- [Madman Mac] This is Madman Mac,
1806
01:29:32,117 --> 01:29:33,952
getting over this weekend's insanity attack.
1807
01:29:34,244 --> 01:29:36,037
Oh, I hope Palm springs showed you
1808
01:29:36,329 --> 01:29:38,999
half as good a time as you showed us!
1809
01:29:39,291 --> 01:29:42,836
This is Madman Mac saying so long, everybody.
1810
01:29:43,128 --> 01:29:45,130
- Bye guys, son. - Bye dad.
1811
01:29:45,422 --> 01:29:46,798
- Bye Wendell. - oh okay.
1812
01:29:47,090 --> 01:29:48,717
Don't worry about the pigs, I'll take.
1813
01:29:49,009 --> 01:29:50,343
- Okay, bye. - Bye.
1814
01:29:50,635 --> 01:29:53,013
(upbeat music)
1815
01:29:58,059 --> 01:29:59,728
- I'll call you.
1816
01:30:00,020 --> 01:30:02,147
- I'll call you too, Ashley.
1817
01:30:14,576 --> 01:30:16,411
- You are a stud. - I am not.
1818
01:30:16,703 --> 01:30:19,581
- [Joe] I want lessons from this man.
1819
01:30:20,624 --> 01:30:24,210
- So, I guess we'll see you assholes back on campus.
1820
01:30:24,502 --> 01:30:26,129
- Not if we see you first.
1821
01:30:26,421 --> 01:30:28,882
(scoffing) - oh Wendell!
1822
01:30:29,174 --> 01:30:30,216
- See you guys.
1823
01:30:30,508 --> 01:30:32,385
- Bye J.C., take care of yourself.
1824
01:30:32,677 --> 01:30:33,595
Bye Chas.
1825
01:30:33,887 --> 01:30:36,264
(upbeat music)
1826
01:30:42,145 --> 01:30:44,898
♪ Hey boy the odds are in your favor ♪
1827
01:30:45,190 --> 01:30:47,859
♪ First you are beginning to be ♪
1828
01:30:48,151 --> 01:30:50,737
♪ So get going put it on the line now ♪
1829
01:30:51,029 --> 01:30:54,157
♪ The first move is the hardest to make ♪
1830
01:30:54,449 --> 01:30:56,993
♪ Take a chance show your feelings ♪
1831
01:30:57,285 --> 01:30:59,996
♪ Take a chance let her in ♪
1832
01:31:00,288 --> 01:31:03,792
♪ Take a chance out of nowhere ♪
1833
01:31:04,084 --> 01:31:06,461
♪ You thought you were dreaming ♪
1834
01:31:06,753 --> 01:31:09,547
♪ Now your dream is coming true ♪
1835
01:31:09,839 --> 01:31:12,133
♪ You thought you were a long shot ♪
1836
01:31:12,425 --> 01:31:17,222
♪ Beginner's luck, it could happen to you ♪
1837
01:31:21,810 --> 01:31:24,729
♪ There you are sitting at the stoplight ♪
1838
01:31:25,021 --> 01:31:27,649
♪ Waiting for the light to change ♪
1839
01:31:27,941 --> 01:31:30,652
♪ She pulls up, she's rolling down her window ♪
1840
01:31:30,944 --> 01:31:33,613
♪ Hey boy better ask her her name ♪
1841
01:31:33,905 --> 01:31:36,574
♪ Take a chance show your feelings ♪
1842
01:31:36,866 --> 01:31:39,536
♪ Take a chance let her in ♪
1843
01:31:39,828 --> 01:31:42,914
♪ Take a chance out of nowhere ♪
1844
01:31:43,206 --> 01:31:45,875
♪ You thought you were dreaming ♪
1845
01:31:46,167 --> 01:31:49,004
♪ Now your dream is coming true ♪
1846
01:31:49,295 --> 01:31:51,631
♪ You thought you were a long shot ♪
1847
01:31:51,923 --> 01:31:55,760
♪ Beginner's luck it could happen to you ♪
1848
01:31:56,052 --> 01:31:58,096
♪ When you're not looking ♪
1849
01:31:58,388 --> 01:32:01,099
♪ Sneaking up from behind ♪
1850
01:32:01,391 --> 01:32:03,768
♪ Taking hold of your heart boy ♪
1851
01:32:04,060 --> 01:32:07,230
♪ That sweet surprise ♪
1852
01:32:07,522 --> 01:32:09,899
(upbeat music)
1853
01:32:46,978 --> 01:32:49,814
♪ Hey boy the odds are in your favor ♪
1854
01:32:50,106 --> 01:32:52,692
♪ First you've got to get in the game ♪
1855
01:32:52,984 --> 01:32:55,779
♪ So get going put it on the line now ♪
1856
01:32:56,071 --> 01:32:58,740
♪ The first move is the hardest to make ♪
1857
01:32:59,032 --> 01:33:01,576
♪ Take a chance show your feelings ♪
1858
01:33:01,868 --> 01:33:04,829
♪ Take a chance let her in ♪
1859
01:33:05,121 --> 01:33:08,124
♪ Take a chance out of nowhere ♪
1860
01:33:08,416 --> 01:33:11,044
♪ You thought you were dreaming ♪
1861
01:33:11,336 --> 01:33:14,089
♪ Now your dream is coming true ♪
1862
01:33:14,380 --> 01:33:16,758
♪ You thought you were a long shot ♪
1863
01:33:17,050 --> 01:33:21,846
♪ Beginner's luck, it could happen to you ♪
1864
01:33:25,225 --> 01:33:28,436
♪ It could happen to you ♪
1865
01:33:28,728 --> 01:33:31,064
♪ It could happen it could happen ♪
1866
01:33:31,356 --> 01:33:33,733
♪ It could happen to you ♪
1867
01:33:34,025 --> 01:33:36,653
♪ It could happen it could happen ♪
1868
01:33:36,945 --> 01:33:39,114
♪ It could happen to you ♪
1869
01:33:39,405 --> 01:33:42,826
♪ It could happen it could happen ♪
1870
01:33:43,118 --> 01:33:46,412
♪ It could happen to you ♪
126154
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