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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,372 --> 00:00:09,415 What is this? 2 00:00:09,706 --> 00:00:14,378 St. Ausrich Pre-kindergarten Academy and Daycare Centre? 3 00:00:14,545 --> 00:00:17,798 Do I hear the pitter-patter of petite elite feet? 4 00:00:18,549 --> 00:00:22,511 No, no, no, it's just that the wait list for St. Ausrich is up to four years. 5 00:00:22,594 --> 00:00:25,389 So I thought we should get our application in now to be safe. 6 00:00:25,514 --> 00:00:26,515 Very wise, Niles. 7 00:00:26,557 --> 00:00:28,225 Lilith and I waited until Frederick was conceived 8 00:00:28,308 --> 00:00:30,269 before we enrolled him in private school. 9 00:00:31,103 --> 00:00:32,563 - Mr. Procrastinator. - Yeah. 10 00:00:32,688 --> 00:00:34,022 It's pre-kindergarten. 11 00:00:34,106 --> 00:00:35,649 They run around, they sing, they nap. 12 00:00:35,732 --> 00:00:37,943 How special can St. Ausrich's really be? 13 00:00:37,985 --> 00:00:41,029 Well, I hear the top 2 percent in coloring and putting away 14 00:00:41,155 --> 00:00:43,282 can pretty much write their own ticket. 15 00:00:44,825 --> 00:00:47,995 Oh, Niles, guess who's coming to visit. 16 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:49,580 Leland Barton. 17 00:00:49,913 --> 00:00:51,832 Really? From the Empire Club? 18 00:00:51,915 --> 00:00:55,997 No, no, that's Barton Leland. Leland Barton was Mom's research assistant. 19 00:00:56,044 --> 00:00:58,839 - They worked together for years. - I don't remember him. 20 00:00:58,922 --> 00:01:01,383 Oh, that's right. We were just boys when he moved to France. 21 00:01:01,425 --> 00:01:03,093 Apparently, he gave up psychiatry 22 00:01:03,260 --> 00:01:05,762 and immersed himself in the Paris art world. 23 00:01:06,096 --> 00:01:10,809 Today, he sits on the board of the Paris Museum of Modern Art. 24 00:01:10,934 --> 00:01:12,019 Wow. 25 00:01:12,311 --> 00:01:14,480 It takes a brave man to just chuck it all. 26 00:01:14,605 --> 00:01:17,816 Cross the ocean in pursuit of a new life in a new country. 27 00:01:17,941 --> 00:01:18,984 Or a brave woman. 28 00:01:19,067 --> 00:01:20,903 Oh, yes. That's right. 29 00:01:20,986 --> 00:01:21,987 That's exactly what you did. 30 00:01:22,070 --> 00:01:25,491 Just like Dr. Barton, you bade farewell to the comforts of home 31 00:01:25,574 --> 00:01:28,452 and filled your sails with the winds of change and adventure. 32 00:01:28,785 --> 00:01:30,412 Well, I never looked at it that way. 33 00:01:30,537 --> 00:01:32,331 I'll have something to think about this afternoon 34 00:01:32,414 --> 00:01:33,999 when I'm rubbing your dad's bum. 35 00:01:44,051 --> 00:01:45,385 - Hello, Roz. - Hi. 36 00:01:45,511 --> 00:01:47,179 Hey, Roz. How was the dog park? 37 00:01:47,262 --> 00:01:48,931 Well, I got a phone number. 38 00:01:49,056 --> 00:01:50,224 Oh, nice. 39 00:01:50,349 --> 00:01:52,100 Is that why you people have pets? 40 00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:53,352 To get dates? 41 00:01:53,477 --> 00:01:55,229 No, but it's a plus. 42 00:01:55,479 --> 00:01:57,022 I've never met one person 43 00:01:57,105 --> 00:01:59,399 who didn't get at least one date through their pet. 44 00:01:59,483 --> 00:02:00,984 Well, meet me. 45 00:02:02,611 --> 00:02:06,323 Four years in high school and not a single encounter generated. 46 00:02:06,406 --> 00:02:07,741 Stupid fish. 47 00:02:10,619 --> 00:02:12,663 - Oh, that would be Leland. - Who's Leland? 48 00:02:12,788 --> 00:02:14,706 He was Hester's research assistant. 49 00:02:14,790 --> 00:02:17,084 He used to follow her around like a puppy. Ha. 50 00:02:17,209 --> 00:02:20,128 I think he was always a bit jealous of me, to be honest. 51 00:02:21,171 --> 00:02:22,589 Not that he was alone. 52 00:02:24,716 --> 00:02:26,134 Dr. Barton? 53 00:02:26,260 --> 00:02:27,719 - Hello, Frasier. - I'm Frasier. 54 00:02:27,803 --> 00:02:28,470 - Good to see you. - How are you? 55 00:02:28,554 --> 00:02:30,305 - Let me take that for you. - Thank you very much. 56 00:02:30,472 --> 00:02:32,516 Thank you. Hello. 57 00:02:32,641 --> 00:02:35,185 My God, look at you. 58 00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:38,272 I haven't seen you since you were about, what, 7 years old. 59 00:02:38,438 --> 00:02:39,940 And you still look good in a suit. 60 00:02:40,023 --> 00:02:41,942 Oh. Ha, ha. 61 00:02:42,067 --> 00:02:44,695 Martin, you have not changed a whit. 62 00:02:44,778 --> 00:02:47,531 Oh, my hair's grey and I got a bullet in my hip. 63 00:02:47,656 --> 00:02:50,492 Well, I'm bigger and balder, but I don't wanna hear about it. 64 00:02:50,576 --> 00:02:53,120 Ha, ha. But you look exactly the same too. 65 00:02:53,203 --> 00:02:54,079 Thank you, sir. 66 00:02:54,162 --> 00:02:55,789 And you must be...? 67 00:02:56,999 --> 00:02:59,626 I'm assuming you don't go by Niles anymore. 68 00:03:02,462 --> 00:03:05,632 No, this is my producer, Roz Doyle. My brother's not here. 69 00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:07,551 Ah. Oh. 70 00:03:09,303 --> 00:03:12,014 My sincerest apologies. You are a handsome woman. 71 00:03:12,097 --> 00:03:13,140 Oh. 72 00:03:13,348 --> 00:03:16,435 And it's nice to meet you too. Ha, ha. I guess I should be going. 73 00:03:16,518 --> 00:03:17,728 Not on my account, I hope. 74 00:03:17,811 --> 00:03:20,397 Please, Roz, stay if you like. Can I get anybody a drink? 75 00:03:20,522 --> 00:03:22,566 Not unless you happen to have any sherry. 76 00:03:22,691 --> 00:03:26,570 Oh, ho-ho. I think I can scare up a glass. 77 00:03:26,653 --> 00:03:28,488 - Roz? - Well, I'll have a beer, please. 78 00:03:28,614 --> 00:03:30,240 Well, I can handle that. 79 00:03:31,617 --> 00:03:33,285 - Come and sit down. - Thank you. 80 00:03:34,119 --> 00:03:36,705 So I hear you worked with Frasier's mom. 81 00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:38,248 Yes, I did. Did you know her? 82 00:03:38,332 --> 00:03:39,625 - No. - A pity. 83 00:03:39,916 --> 00:03:41,460 She was a remarkable woman. 84 00:03:41,752 --> 00:03:45,213 Brilliant, playful and passionate. 85 00:03:46,131 --> 00:03:47,341 I adored her. 86 00:03:47,799 --> 00:03:49,009 Here we are. 87 00:03:49,259 --> 00:03:51,053 Welcome back to Seattle. 88 00:03:51,136 --> 00:03:52,763 - Thank you. - There we are. 89 00:03:59,311 --> 00:04:01,021 This sherry is exquisite. 90 00:04:01,104 --> 00:04:03,732 Oh, thank you. It's an Andalusian amontillado I'm fond of. 91 00:04:03,857 --> 00:04:05,484 A connoisseur. I'm surprised. 92 00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:07,361 Most Americans think that sherry is just for cooking. 93 00:04:07,527 --> 00:04:09,988 No, my brother and I have always had a taste for it. 94 00:04:10,072 --> 00:04:13,033 Yeah, well, you didn't get that from me. I've always hated the stuff. 95 00:04:13,241 --> 00:04:15,369 You know, come to think of it, so did your mom. 96 00:04:15,494 --> 00:04:16,411 Hmm. 97 00:04:28,590 --> 00:04:30,133 Can I help you? 98 00:04:31,218 --> 00:04:33,053 - I'm sorry about that. - Eddie, down. 99 00:04:38,266 --> 00:04:41,144 Why is he doing that? 100 00:04:41,645 --> 00:04:44,106 I don't really know. He used to do it to me, but, uh... 101 00:04:44,690 --> 00:04:47,272 I tell you what, just don't get in a staring contest with him. 102 00:04:47,304 --> 00:04:48,860 - That's what he wants. MARTIN: All right. 103 00:04:48,985 --> 00:04:52,072 Come on, Eddie, get down. Sorry, I don't know what got into him. 104 00:04:52,155 --> 00:04:53,365 I'll get him a treat. 105 00:04:53,490 --> 00:04:55,033 Frasier, this is remarkable. 106 00:04:55,117 --> 00:04:57,202 You and I seem to have the same taste in art. 107 00:04:57,285 --> 00:05:02,165 Rauschenberg, Otterson, African statuary and sculpture. 108 00:05:02,416 --> 00:05:06,044 Although I must confess, I'm not familiar with that one. 109 00:05:06,128 --> 00:05:08,797 Oh, that's because while most Azande statues 110 00:05:08,922 --> 00:05:12,467 are intended to ward off evil spirits, this one was designed to distract me 111 00:05:12,551 --> 00:05:15,178 while my pockets were picked at the Kinshasa Airport. 112 00:05:21,184 --> 00:05:23,228 You two have a lot in common. 113 00:05:23,311 --> 00:05:25,856 Psychiatry and sherry and art. 114 00:05:25,897 --> 00:05:27,607 And furniture. 115 00:05:27,941 --> 00:05:31,486 That is a Coco Chanel sofa, unless I'm mistaken. 116 00:05:31,611 --> 00:05:34,614 It is an exact replica of the one in her Paris atelier. 117 00:05:34,740 --> 00:05:36,199 You know, not many people even notice it. 118 00:05:36,324 --> 00:05:39,286 Well, not many people have passed out drunk on the original. 119 00:05:40,704 --> 00:05:42,789 I would love to hear that story. 120 00:05:42,914 --> 00:05:46,001 Well, you are in luck because I love to tell it. Ha, ha. 121 00:05:46,126 --> 00:05:49,629 But first let me thank you for making me feel so welcome. 122 00:05:49,713 --> 00:05:53,216 I must confess I had some reservations about returning to Seattle, 123 00:05:53,341 --> 00:05:54,760 but you have dispelled them all. 124 00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:57,596 - To you. - Ah. Ha, ha. 125 00:05:58,847 --> 00:06:00,557 - Mm. - Please. 126 00:06:06,855 --> 00:06:08,356 Mm... 127 00:06:22,954 --> 00:06:25,123 - What's the matter? - Nothing. 128 00:06:32,964 --> 00:06:36,218 Okay, we just need to fill in a name, 129 00:06:36,343 --> 00:06:38,428 and I can get the application over to St. Ausrich's. 130 00:06:38,762 --> 00:06:41,181 How can we have a name? I'm not even pregnant yet. 131 00:06:42,307 --> 00:06:44,351 Well, it's not the name, it's just a placeholder. 132 00:06:44,434 --> 00:06:45,393 Anything will do. 133 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,522 Mm, all right. How about, uh, Simon? 134 00:06:49,022 --> 00:06:52,108 As in your-brother-with- a-substance-abuse-problem Simon? 135 00:06:53,026 --> 00:06:54,820 There are other Simons, you know. 136 00:06:54,903 --> 00:06:59,282 Simon Templar, Simon Legree, Simon Chipmunk. 137 00:07:00,575 --> 00:07:02,244 Not exactly building a case for Simon. 138 00:07:02,327 --> 00:07:04,996 - Um, how about Jill? - No, don't like it. 139 00:07:05,121 --> 00:07:07,541 That's the name of that weather tart on Channel 8. 140 00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:10,710 All right, let's just pick a name at random. 141 00:07:10,794 --> 00:07:13,129 - Like out of the phone book. - That's a good idea. 142 00:07:13,213 --> 00:07:14,381 Leave it to fate. 143 00:07:16,424 --> 00:07:18,176 Okay, when I stop, you point. 144 00:07:22,931 --> 00:07:24,599 - Bob. - Great. 145 00:07:28,311 --> 00:07:31,481 Bob Crane. 146 00:07:31,565 --> 00:07:32,732 Okay. 147 00:07:34,442 --> 00:07:35,944 I'm gonna need some Wite-Out. 148 00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,240 Oh, listen to me. 149 00:07:40,323 --> 00:07:43,326 I've been talking your ears off for the past hour about psychiatry. 150 00:07:43,451 --> 00:07:44,494 Yeah, really. 151 00:07:45,036 --> 00:07:46,788 Oh, Roz, do you mind if we join you? 152 00:07:46,872 --> 00:07:48,331 - Oh, yeah, not at all. - Hi, Roz. 153 00:07:48,415 --> 00:07:49,541 Hi. 154 00:07:49,749 --> 00:07:52,961 Leland, it is such a pleasure to talk shop with a fellow nutcracker. 155 00:07:54,754 --> 00:07:58,008 And talking to you Jung people makes me feel like an id again. 156 00:08:00,385 --> 00:08:01,678 Do you have a pun, Frasier? 157 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,555 Uh, no, let's just sit down. 158 00:08:11,771 --> 00:08:12,731 What's wrong? 159 00:08:13,106 --> 00:08:14,107 Nothing. 160 00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:17,527 Oh, you know, there is a wonderful Brassaï' exhibit in town. 161 00:08:17,652 --> 00:08:19,070 What do you say we stop over there? 162 00:08:19,154 --> 00:08:20,739 I would love that. I'm a big fan. 163 00:08:20,822 --> 00:08:23,700 Oh, I wish I could join you. I have patients all afternoon. 164 00:08:24,075 --> 00:08:25,911 I don't suppose you'd go now, would you? 165 00:08:26,036 --> 00:08:27,370 - Be fine by me. - Well, certainly. 166 00:08:27,454 --> 00:08:29,039 Let's go get our coffee at the museum. 167 00:08:29,164 --> 00:08:32,250 Oh, Dad, Roz, any chance you'd like to take in 168 00:08:32,375 --> 00:08:35,003 some Parisian photos by an old Romanian master? 169 00:08:35,086 --> 00:08:38,256 - Mm... No. - Ha, ha. 170 00:08:38,465 --> 00:08:39,716 - Thanks, anyway. - Okay. 171 00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:41,343 Oh, excuse me. 172 00:08:41,468 --> 00:08:43,553 Your father forgot his umbrella. 173 00:08:43,678 --> 00:08:44,804 Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. 174 00:08:44,846 --> 00:08:47,390 Here you go, ha, ha, "Dad." 175 00:08:51,144 --> 00:08:54,105 Well, I don't blame her for that. Leland's more like them than I am. 176 00:08:54,397 --> 00:08:55,815 Really? You really think so? 177 00:08:55,899 --> 00:08:57,901 Oh, come on. How can you not see it? 178 00:08:57,943 --> 00:09:00,195 They're like three fancy peas in a pod. 179 00:09:01,613 --> 00:09:04,991 Well, I did notice that they have the same taste in art and music. 180 00:09:05,075 --> 00:09:06,826 They even have some of the same mannerisms. 181 00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:07,702 Yeah. 182 00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:12,916 And Leland and Niles are both allergic to rose hips and Jerusalem artichokes. 183 00:09:13,041 --> 00:09:14,668 Ha! Weird, huh? 184 00:09:14,918 --> 00:09:18,505 When Leland was talking to me about how close he and Hester were, 185 00:09:18,713 --> 00:09:20,548 I started thinking what you're thinking. 186 00:09:24,427 --> 00:09:25,845 And what am I thinking? 187 00:09:27,013 --> 00:09:28,098 Nothing. 188 00:09:29,057 --> 00:09:31,017 What are you saying? You think he's their father? 189 00:09:31,101 --> 00:09:32,560 No, I wasn't saying that. 190 00:09:32,644 --> 00:09:37,065 Lots of people like art and sherry and... And French stuff. 191 00:09:37,148 --> 00:09:38,316 It doesn't mean they're related. 192 00:09:38,441 --> 00:09:41,486 By your logic, everyone on the cooking channel is their father. 193 00:09:43,488 --> 00:09:45,031 - Okay. - Okay. 194 00:09:47,242 --> 00:09:49,828 Ew! What the hell is this? 195 00:09:50,036 --> 00:09:51,913 I don't know. It was there when I sat down. 196 00:09:51,997 --> 00:09:53,415 Ugh! 197 00:09:57,919 --> 00:10:00,213 Leland, your autobiography is wonderful. 198 00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:01,464 Thank you. 199 00:10:01,756 --> 00:10:04,551 Let us hope that the publishing houses feel similarly. 200 00:10:04,801 --> 00:10:06,344 - Ah. Have you shown it to Frasier? - No, I haven't. 201 00:10:06,428 --> 00:10:08,346 - How's he feeling? - Let's go see. 202 00:10:09,472 --> 00:10:11,683 Yeah, bring the manuscript. He'd love to see it. 203 00:10:12,308 --> 00:10:14,769 Hello? Oh, uh, hello darling. 204 00:10:14,853 --> 00:10:16,146 You go ahead. I'll be right in. 205 00:10:16,688 --> 00:10:18,148 Okay, so Delilah's out. 206 00:10:19,733 --> 00:10:22,068 Yeah, no, that's fine, that's fine. What are your ideas? 207 00:10:23,069 --> 00:10:24,320 Taylor. Oh. 208 00:10:24,612 --> 00:10:25,655 Fletcher. 209 00:10:26,614 --> 00:10:27,824 Cooper. 210 00:10:28,908 --> 00:10:30,118 Tanner. 211 00:10:31,161 --> 00:10:33,788 Where are you getting these, The Big Book of Mediaeval Professions? 212 00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:39,002 - Frasier? How are you doing? - Huh? 213 00:10:39,335 --> 00:10:41,838 Oh, I'm afraid my stomach is still churning. 214 00:10:41,963 --> 00:10:43,798 I'm not gonna be able to make dinner. 215 00:10:43,882 --> 00:10:45,759 Oh, I understand. Well, I'll leave you to rest. 216 00:10:45,842 --> 00:10:47,635 Perhaps a little later, if you're feeling better, 217 00:10:47,761 --> 00:10:50,764 I can get your opinion on a short section of my autobiography. 218 00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:52,807 Well, when I can't give an opinion, 219 00:10:53,016 --> 00:10:56,352 you may as well call the coroner, tag my toe, I'm dead. 220 00:10:59,439 --> 00:11:01,608 No, that's a kind of car. 221 00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:06,446 - Hey, Niles. What's going on? - Hi. 222 00:11:06,529 --> 00:11:08,281 Oh, we were gonna go out to dinner with Leland, 223 00:11:08,364 --> 00:11:10,533 - but Frasier's not feeling well. - Oh. 224 00:11:10,909 --> 00:11:12,660 Well, maybe I'll go check on him. 225 00:11:13,286 --> 00:11:15,538 Now it just sounds like you're reading from the spice rack. 226 00:11:17,957 --> 00:11:22,462 "I realised the Sherpa had become my guide in more ways than one." 227 00:11:23,379 --> 00:11:25,423 Oh, that was wonderful. 228 00:11:25,507 --> 00:11:26,424 Read me another. 229 00:11:26,549 --> 00:11:28,510 Oh, no. You go to sleep now. 230 00:11:29,677 --> 00:11:32,305 - Oh, Dad. Heh. - Hey, Fras. 231 00:11:32,555 --> 00:11:35,058 Just, uh, wondering how you were feeling. 232 00:11:35,225 --> 00:11:37,811 Oh, well, not so good, actually. 233 00:11:37,894 --> 00:11:40,605 I'm afraid I'm gonna have to skip dinner. 234 00:11:40,730 --> 00:11:41,815 Why don't you go in my place? 235 00:11:41,898 --> 00:11:43,525 - Sure, if you want me to. - All right. 236 00:11:43,817 --> 00:11:46,361 You should get going really. You'll miss the reservation. 237 00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:48,029 Right. Now, get well, son. 238 00:11:48,154 --> 00:11:49,781 We'll be wishing you a speedy recovery. 239 00:11:49,864 --> 00:11:51,199 Thank you. 240 00:11:53,243 --> 00:11:56,329 Oh, Fras, you want me to bring you something back from the restaurant? 241 00:11:56,412 --> 00:11:58,832 Maybe some Jell-O to soothe your tummy? 242 00:11:59,916 --> 00:12:01,543 Oh, thanks, Dad, it's all taken care of. 243 00:12:01,709 --> 00:12:04,295 Leland's gonna bring me some consommé and sorbet. 244 00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:05,463 Oh. 245 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,133 Okay. 246 00:12:09,175 --> 00:12:13,263 Well, Niles, it looks like your dad is gonna take Frasier's place at dinner. 247 00:12:13,346 --> 00:12:14,848 Oh, excellent. 248 00:12:16,891 --> 00:12:19,185 - What's the matter? - My leg's asleep. Oh. 249 00:12:19,269 --> 00:12:20,478 Ooh. Move your foot around. 250 00:12:20,562 --> 00:12:22,063 No, it's the whole leg. I'll just wait it out. 251 00:12:22,522 --> 00:12:24,607 The movement will get the blood flowing. Go ahead. 252 00:12:24,691 --> 00:12:26,818 - I can't put weight on it. - Sure you can. 253 00:12:26,901 --> 00:12:29,195 Give it a try. Come on. One step at a time, come on. 254 00:12:29,571 --> 00:12:30,738 There you go. 255 00:12:31,156 --> 00:12:32,490 Attaboy. 256 00:12:32,688 --> 00:12:34,814 Attaboy. You can do it. 257 00:12:34,939 --> 00:12:37,120 There you are. Good. 258 00:12:43,543 --> 00:12:45,295 - Hey, Roz. - Hey, Martin. 259 00:12:45,545 --> 00:12:47,338 If you're looking for Frasier, he just left. 260 00:12:47,422 --> 00:12:49,382 Well, thanks, but actually, I was looking for you. 261 00:12:50,049 --> 00:12:51,426 I could use a little advice. 262 00:12:51,759 --> 00:12:53,219 From me? Really? 263 00:12:53,303 --> 00:12:56,097 Well, if it stinks, I can always ignore it. 264 00:12:57,140 --> 00:12:58,975 Come on in, I'm just finishing up. 265 00:13:00,685 --> 00:13:01,769 What do you need? 266 00:13:02,437 --> 00:13:05,356 Uh, it's the Leland thing. 267 00:13:05,857 --> 00:13:11,613 Even though I know it's not possible that he's Frasier and Niles' father, I... 268 00:13:12,155 --> 00:13:14,782 I guess what's bugging me is, technically, it is possible. 269 00:13:15,116 --> 00:13:17,827 Well, sure, it's possible, technically. 270 00:13:19,245 --> 00:13:22,582 Martin, do you really think your wife would've ever cheated on you? 271 00:13:25,043 --> 00:13:26,044 She did. 272 00:13:26,294 --> 00:13:27,795 She said it happened once. 273 00:13:28,504 --> 00:13:30,215 Oh, my God. 274 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:33,927 - With Leland? - No, someone else. 275 00:13:35,887 --> 00:13:38,973 You know, I think that you're driving yourself crazy for nothing here. 276 00:13:39,057 --> 00:13:41,392 Of course Frasier and Niles are your sons. 277 00:13:41,476 --> 00:13:42,852 You're exactly like them. 278 00:13:42,936 --> 00:13:44,354 Like? How? 279 00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,398 Their strong sense of ethics. 280 00:13:48,399 --> 00:13:50,652 Yeah, we are ethical. 281 00:13:51,778 --> 00:13:55,156 - What else? - The way they spin out of control. 282 00:13:55,365 --> 00:13:56,658 Hmm. That's true. 283 00:13:57,492 --> 00:13:58,952 They got that from me. 284 00:13:59,869 --> 00:14:01,788 - Their stubbornness. - I'm not stubborn. 285 00:14:01,913 --> 00:14:03,831 - Their defensiveness. - What's that supposed to mean? 286 00:14:03,915 --> 00:14:05,917 The way they dismiss anyone who doesn't share their opinions. 287 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,627 Oh, now you're just being dumb. 288 00:14:08,294 --> 00:14:11,589 Hey, what is the worst-case scenario? 289 00:14:12,257 --> 00:14:13,883 If you found out you weren't their father, 290 00:14:13,967 --> 00:14:15,510 would you love them any less? 291 00:14:15,635 --> 00:14:17,387 No, no. 292 00:14:18,513 --> 00:14:20,390 Well, yeah, a little maybe, at first. 293 00:14:20,515 --> 00:14:21,766 But no, I... 294 00:14:21,975 --> 00:14:26,020 I'd feel the same about them as I hope they would about me. 295 00:14:26,312 --> 00:14:27,855 Which they would. 296 00:14:28,481 --> 00:14:29,941 And you know that. 297 00:14:30,775 --> 00:14:31,818 Yeah. 298 00:14:32,819 --> 00:14:34,570 I mean, you'd still love Alice 299 00:14:34,696 --> 00:14:37,073 if you found out you'd gotten the wrong baby at the hospital. 300 00:14:37,156 --> 00:14:39,200 - Sure. - Yeah. Ha, ha. 301 00:14:39,325 --> 00:14:43,037 And as a cop, I've seen that happen more often than you'd think. 302 00:14:43,204 --> 00:14:44,914 Especially at Seattle General. 303 00:14:45,456 --> 00:14:49,252 - I had Alice at Seattle General. - Oh, sorry. 304 00:14:49,794 --> 00:14:52,046 But the point was that you'd love her just the same, 305 00:14:52,130 --> 00:14:53,673 so who cares who her real mother is? 306 00:14:53,881 --> 00:14:57,510 - I'm her real mother. - Okay, jeez. 307 00:14:58,553 --> 00:15:01,097 - How about Desmond? - Desmond Crane. 308 00:15:01,431 --> 00:15:03,850 Desmond Crane, you are hereby sentenced to... 309 00:15:03,933 --> 00:15:05,268 No, I don't like it. 310 00:15:06,728 --> 00:15:08,062 What about Jack? 311 00:15:08,855 --> 00:15:09,814 Afraid not. 312 00:15:10,189 --> 00:15:13,318 The first name ends with the same sound that begins the last name. 313 00:15:13,568 --> 00:15:15,778 So you either end up running them together: Ja-Crane. 314 00:15:15,903 --> 00:15:20,533 Or you face the dreaded glottal stop: Jack Crane, Jack Crane. 315 00:15:22,785 --> 00:15:24,370 It's unpleasant for the throat. 316 00:15:25,538 --> 00:15:27,540 This conversation is unpleasant for the throat. 317 00:15:27,623 --> 00:15:30,251 Well, I know, I know. Okay. Oh. 318 00:15:31,461 --> 00:15:33,421 Why don't we use the name of that nice nurse 319 00:15:33,546 --> 00:15:34,881 from when I was in the hospital? 320 00:15:36,007 --> 00:15:38,009 Fong or Deshondra? 321 00:15:40,970 --> 00:15:42,263 - Fong. - Oh. 322 00:15:43,097 --> 00:15:45,266 Wait. Let's not drive ourselves crazy about this. 323 00:15:45,350 --> 00:15:47,226 It's a temporary name for a child. 324 00:15:47,352 --> 00:15:50,313 Yes, but once you give something a name, it makes it more real. 325 00:15:50,438 --> 00:15:53,107 And then that name will always have a sort of priority. 326 00:15:53,191 --> 00:15:57,111 I don't care how often you say elevator, apartment or crossing guard. 327 00:15:57,236 --> 00:16:00,281 To me, they'll always be lifts and flats and lollipop men. 328 00:16:01,657 --> 00:16:03,868 Well, then, tell you what. 329 00:16:03,951 --> 00:16:06,329 You pick a name and I'll accept it unconditionally. 330 00:16:07,622 --> 00:16:08,790 Milton. 331 00:16:09,374 --> 00:16:10,375 Milton. 332 00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:12,585 Great poet and a great name. 333 00:16:13,086 --> 00:16:15,171 Great. Can we go up to bed now? 334 00:16:15,338 --> 00:16:16,964 - Yes. - Ha, ha. 335 00:16:20,385 --> 00:16:24,097 Hey, didn't you have a soccer hooligan boyfriend named Milton? 336 00:16:24,222 --> 00:16:26,182 Yeah, that's where I got it. 337 00:16:34,065 --> 00:16:36,901 ♪ I know the kings of England ♪ ♪ And I quote the fights historical. ♪ 338 00:16:36,984 --> 00:16:39,612 ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo ♪ ♪ In order categorical ♪ 339 00:16:39,695 --> 00:16:42,490 ♪ I'm very well acquainted too ♪ ♪ With matters mathematical ♪ 340 00:16:42,573 --> 00:16:45,326 ♪ I understand equations ♪ ♪ Both the simple and quadratical. ♪ 341 00:16:45,410 --> 00:16:48,079 ♪ About binomial theorem ♪ ♪ I'm teeming with a lot of news. ♪ 342 00:16:48,204 --> 00:16:51,124 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ ♪ About the square of the hypotenuse. ♪ 343 00:16:51,249 --> 00:16:54,043 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ ♪ About the square of the hypotenuse. ♪ 344 00:16:54,127 --> 00:16:56,504 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ ♪ About the square of the hypotenuse. ♪ 345 00:16:56,587 --> 00:16:59,006 ♪ With many cheerful facts ♪ ♪ About the square of the hypotenuse. ♪ 346 00:16:59,132 --> 00:17:02,176 ♪ With many awful facts ♪ ♪ About the scary hippopotamus. ♪ 347 00:17:12,687 --> 00:17:14,897 What a wonderfully musical family you are. 348 00:17:15,022 --> 00:17:16,482 We sure are. 349 00:17:16,691 --> 00:17:20,611 - Me and my boys, my boys and me. - Oh, Dad. 350 00:17:20,736 --> 00:17:23,364 We're wonderful and we're musical. 351 00:17:24,490 --> 00:17:26,784 I can't tell you what a wonderful job you've done with them. 352 00:17:26,868 --> 00:17:30,580 Oh, it wasn't a job. It was a biological pleasure. 353 00:17:31,247 --> 00:17:33,082 And don't forget I had Hester. 354 00:17:33,458 --> 00:17:35,543 - Oh, excuse me. - Oh, you were lucky. 355 00:17:35,751 --> 00:17:38,463 She was a splendid woman and a remarkable research partner. 356 00:17:38,588 --> 00:17:40,590 And an even better life partner. 357 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,800 Well, I wouldn't know about that. 358 00:17:42,884 --> 00:17:44,218 Damn straight you wouldn't. 359 00:17:45,553 --> 00:17:47,263 Leland, your cab is waiting. 360 00:17:47,430 --> 00:17:49,849 Oh, so soon. 361 00:17:50,683 --> 00:17:54,479 Well, I can't thank you enough for all your courtesies. 362 00:17:54,604 --> 00:17:55,438 Bless you. 363 00:17:55,563 --> 00:17:59,317 If you are in Paris, you must allow me to repay your many kindnesses. 364 00:17:59,442 --> 00:18:00,651 Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. 365 00:18:00,735 --> 00:18:02,820 I'm so proud of the way you boys have turned out. 366 00:18:03,070 --> 00:18:05,656 - Leland, let me walk you out. - Thank you. 367 00:18:06,407 --> 00:18:07,492 Bon voyage. 368 00:18:12,914 --> 00:18:14,040 Oh. 369 00:18:18,878 --> 00:18:21,005 Leland, there's a question I need to ask you. 370 00:18:21,130 --> 00:18:22,507 Oh, yes, of course, anything. 371 00:18:23,090 --> 00:18:27,220 I'm a little uncomfortable even bringing it up, 372 00:18:27,303 --> 00:18:29,472 but I don't think I could let you leave the country 373 00:18:29,597 --> 00:18:31,057 without knowing the answer. 374 00:18:32,475 --> 00:18:37,688 I know that you and my wife spent a lot of time together, 375 00:18:38,564 --> 00:18:40,107 that you were close. 376 00:18:40,775 --> 00:18:44,195 I loved her very much. 377 00:18:45,738 --> 00:18:49,325 Then I guess my question is, how much? 378 00:18:51,285 --> 00:18:56,832 Enough to trust her with the fact that I'm gay. 379 00:18:57,833 --> 00:18:59,252 Oh. 380 00:19:01,379 --> 00:19:02,505 You know, 40 years ago, 381 00:19:02,588 --> 00:19:05,299 people weren't as accepting as they are nowadays. 382 00:19:05,424 --> 00:19:08,135 Without someone like her to confide in, uh... 383 00:19:08,761 --> 00:19:10,930 She quite probably saved my life. 384 00:19:21,148 --> 00:19:24,735 Leland, she loved you too. 385 00:19:26,779 --> 00:19:28,412 She really was something, wasn't she? 386 00:19:28,437 --> 00:19:30,366 Oh, yeah, she really was. 387 00:19:32,785 --> 00:19:33,911 Goodbye, Martin. 388 00:19:34,537 --> 00:19:36,539 - Take care, Leland. - Thank you. 389 00:19:44,046 --> 00:19:45,172 My boys. 390 00:19:45,339 --> 00:19:48,926 ♪ On a tree by a river a little tom-tit. ♪ 391 00:19:49,135 --> 00:19:52,763 ♪ Sang "Willow, titwillow, titwillow". ♪ 392 00:19:53,556 --> 00:19:54,890 ♪ And I said to him. ♪ 393 00:19:55,016 --> 00:19:57,351 ♪ "Dicky-bird, why do you sit. ♪ 394 00:19:57,518 --> 00:20:01,063 ♪ Singing 'Willow, titwillow, titwillow'?" ♪ 395 00:20:01,689 --> 00:20:05,276 ♪ "is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" ♪ ♪ I cried. ♪ 396 00:20:05,401 --> 00:20:09,530 ♪ "Or a rather tough worm ♪ ♪ On your little inside?" ♪ 397 00:20:11,574 --> 00:20:12,617 Oh, my God. 398 00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:15,244 Are you still stuck picking a name for that application? 399 00:20:15,328 --> 00:20:16,787 Yeah. We can't come up with one. 400 00:20:16,871 --> 00:20:18,497 Oh, God, give it to me. 401 00:20:19,165 --> 00:20:22,126 And then I'll fill it in, and you'll never have to see it, 402 00:20:22,209 --> 00:20:25,046 - and you won't feel stuck with it. - Ha. That's a great idea. 403 00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:39,518 Howard Clifton is officially accepted. 404 00:20:41,062 --> 00:20:42,396 Who do we have next? 405 00:20:44,398 --> 00:20:49,612 "Last name, Crane. First name, Ichabod." 406 00:20:56,410 --> 00:20:59,080 Well, if they're not gonna take the application seriously, 407 00:20:59,163 --> 00:21:02,166 how can we expect them to take St. Ausrich seriously? 31682

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