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♪ theme song playing ♪
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� ♪ It's time for Animaniacs! ♪
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♪ And we're zany to the max ♪
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00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,441
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
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00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,031
♪ You'll laugh till you collapse ♪
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00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,026
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
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00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,740
� ♪ Come join the Warner Brothers ♪� ♪ And the Warner Sister Dot ♪
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♪ Just for fun, we run aroundthe Warner movie lot ♪
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♪ They lock us in the towerwhenever we get caught ♪
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♪ But we break loose and then vamooseand now you know the plot ♪
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00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:42,332
♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
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00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:45,838
♪ Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪
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♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
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00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,049
♪ Our careers have made comebacks ♪
15
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,969
♪ We're Animaniacs! ♪
16
00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:54,717
♪ Meet Pinky and the Brainwho want to rule the universe ♪
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00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,471
♪ A brand new cast who tested wellin focus group research ♪
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♪ Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪
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♪ And ethnically diverse ♪
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♪ The trolls will say we're so passé,but we did meta first ♪
21
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♪ We're Animaniacs ♪
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♪ You should see our new contracts ♪
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00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,069
♪ We're zany to the max,there's baloney in our slacks ♪
24
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♪ We're animan�ey, totally insane�y ♪
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� ♪ May cause migraine�y's ♪
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ALL:
♪ Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪
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♪
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♪ Western music playing ♪
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� Now, let's see.
30
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Marshmallows.
31
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Graham crackers.
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And�� Oh no! No no no!
33
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I forgot the chocolate!
34
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[gasp]
35
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What's the point of a camping
trip without s'mores?
36
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[ground shaking]
37
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� [thick vaguely Scandinavian accent]
Um, excuse me, but you cannot be here.
38
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� Hey! Maybe this guy's
got some chocolate.
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� Yeah, Mister! You got any chocolate?
40
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ALL:
Please?
41
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� What? No!
42
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,711
ALL:
Aww... Why not?
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00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:07,457
� Because this is not
Wonka Willy's playtime!
44
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,961
This is the Greek Games!
45
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[crowd cheering]
46
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♪
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� Huh. So it is.
48
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� And I am Nils Niedhart,
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the overwhelming favorite to win
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all the gold medals!
[neck crack]
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♪
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� Hey, look!
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Foil�wrapped chocolates!
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� Ooh! So fancy.
55
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� Looks like we're gonna have to become
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'gold meddlers!'
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� Title of the sketch?
� Title of the sketch.
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♪ fanfare playing ♪
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[crowd cheering]
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� It's starting! Okay, bye�bye!
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00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:51,764
No squatters in the stadium
until after games are over.
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00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:54,724
That's when the urban decay sets in.
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[grunt]
[screaming]
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YAKKO:
This is so...
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"in tents!"
[flap]
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[crash]
[rimshot]
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ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
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say hello to the bestathletes in the world.
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[smash]
� Yah! Hello!
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Nils Niedhart coming through!
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Get over it, no big deal. JK!
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Very big deal!
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CROWD: Nils! Nils! Nils!
� I love you, Nils!
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� Thank you, but I'm already
in a serious relationship
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with my biceps,
Ronald and Matilda.
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[kissing]
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And my pecs,
Mooby and Highbeam.
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[kissing]
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And my calves, Ambush and Bazooka!
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[kissing]
Yeah!
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CROWD: Nils! Nils!
[cameras flashing]
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WARNERS:
Outta the way! One side,
coming through. Excuse me!
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� I thought I told you to go away!?
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� We did! We went to London,
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Cairo,
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the Great Wall of China!
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[smash]
[yell]
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� I found myself in Paris.
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♪
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� [grunt] Athletes are the only
peoples allowed here!
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Just look at you!
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Your legs are like the stems
of a very vulnerable flower!
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[pluck, stretching]
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� Hey! Don't pluck on my leg,
95
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you lazily rendered stereotype!
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00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:10,711
We most certainly are athletes.
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00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,629
[bouncing]
� But you don't have a flag!
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00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,339
� Oh boy. This is gonna hurt.
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00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,514
[grunt]
[rip]
100
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,853
[heavenly music]
See? Flag!
101
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,175
� Well, pal, looks like
we'll be competitors.
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May the best man win.
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ANNOUNCER:
First up, organized falling,
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also known as the high dive.
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CROWD:
Nils! Nils! Nils! Nils! Nils!
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[kissing]
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� Oh dear, the crowd seems to be confused.
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00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,037
� Yes. On the list of funny
names I've written for him,
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I see his name is Bills Beefheart.
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00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:52,328
� A common mistake.
Bills Beefheart was his father.
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00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,174
Tragic story there,
112
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,549
but this guy's name is Grilled Cheese Art!
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� Ahoy!
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CROWD:
Nils! Nils! Nils!
115
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[inhale, exhale]
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[bouncing]
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[spinning]
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♪ funky music ♪
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� An impressive moonwalk,
but don't you feel it's a little dated?
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WAKKO: It is, but this isa reboot of a '90s show.
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[wolf whistle]
DOT: Touché.
122
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� Ooh! The Burt Reynolds.
123
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,321
� More dated, and even more impressive.
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[jet zooming]
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[bloop]
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[gasp]
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00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,003
[crowd cheering]
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00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,841
CROWD:
Nils! Nils! Nils!
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00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,916
� Oh, 10's across the board!
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00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,511
That's gonna be tough to beat.
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00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,466
� Mathematically impossible, in fact.
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� Luckily,
our next competitor can't do math.
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00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,681
Yakko Warner from Burbank!
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00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,680
♪
135
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[cranking]
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00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,273
DOT: Yakko really dependson the support of his family.
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00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,519
[Nils gasps]
I recently spoke
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to his brother.
[inhale, exhale]
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00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:58,107
WAKKO: And I recently spoketo his sister. They both agree...
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BOTH:
He can't swim!
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[zooming]
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♪
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00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:09,616
[boom]
[shatter]
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00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,370
� It appears Yakko Warner
has broken the sound barrier
145
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,502
upon re�entry.
� That's right, Dot.
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00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,839
Both physically impossibleand tough to beat.
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[yell, grunt]
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[scream]
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[gurgling, bubbling]
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[flushing]
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00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,428
[smack]
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00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,716
[grunting, gasp]
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No! [angry eating]
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00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:33,773
[snort]
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00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:36,689
� Boy, this guy is very
serious about winning.
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00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:40,108
� It must be amazing
chocolate in those medals!
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00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,028
♪ triumphant music ♪
[crowd cheering]
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00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:44,197
[bell ringing, buzzer]
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♪
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ANNOUNCER:
Equestrian.
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� Ah, equestrian.
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00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:51,792
The event where
the horse does all the work,
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00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,707
and the human takes all the credit.
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00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,745
� You know a lot about
taking all the credit,
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00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,629
Mister Countries�of�the�World Song.
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00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:03,085
� Oh, Knishenkugel,
let's "yump" for some gold medals, yah?
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00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,470
[grunt]
[zoom]
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00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:07,466
♪ "Light Cavalry Overture" plays ♪
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[laugh] Oh, you like that, huh?
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Yump! Yump!
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We are yumping! [laugh] Yumping!
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[cheering]
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00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:18,188
� Eh... not bad,
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00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:21,318
but the judges may deduct
for comical mispronunciation.
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00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,436
♪
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[spinning]
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00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,075
[screaming]
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00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,446
[crowd cheering]
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00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,246
[donkey braying]
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00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,208
[braying]
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� Hey, little girl!
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00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:46,088
Your pony's stubby body
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is an affront to nature.
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00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:51,052
[magical humming]
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00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,596
[neighing]
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00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:54,984
[clang]
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00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,982
� A hushed silence here.
The crowd is stunned
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00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,648
by the presence of
the mythical creature Pegasus.
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� Woohoo!
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00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:06,491
[neigh]
191
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:09,569
[vibrating]
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00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:11,704
[tire screech]
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00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:14,999
[zoom]
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00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,407
[neighing]
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00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,080
[magical humming]
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00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,671
[crowd cheering]
197
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:24,920
[magical humming]
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00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:28,514
[spit]
[crowd cheering]
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00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,929
♪
200
00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:34,308
� [deep, epic voice]
I am the Pegasus, last of my kind.
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00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:37,846
I come bearing horrible tidings of
war from the nether dimensions��
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00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,851
� Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Less talky, more flappy.
203
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,688
[zoom, neigh]
204
00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:49,112
[bell ringing, buzzer]
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00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,162
[crowd cheering, dolphin squeaks]
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00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,736
ANNOUNCER:
And next, tennis for the un�athletic,
207
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,122
ping pong!
208
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:58,578
YAKKO:
Our competitors tonight: for Burbank,Wakko Warner.
209
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:01,080
For Lichtenstein,Gils Braveheart.
210
00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:03,093
� Nils Niedhart!
211
00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:04,375
[whimper]
212
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,958
� Yeah, like we said. Peels Play�dart
213
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:09,554
� They mock what they do not understand.
214
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,890
My name.
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00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,715
Power!
[smack, zooming]
216
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:14,560
[gulp]
217
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,814
[grunt]
[gulp]
218
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:21,728
[grunting]
[gulping]
219
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,228
[yell]
220
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,520
[gulping]
221
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:28,534
Hey! You cannot eat the sports balls!
222
00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:29,857
� Oops, sorry.
223
00:09:29,862 --> 00:09:32,412
I forgot my table manners.
♪ fancy music playing ♪
224
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,486
[belch]
225
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:36,026
[grunting]
226
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,408
� Under section 31 of the rulebook,
227
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,212
it states one can, technically,
228
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,575
consume and regurgitate the ball in play.
229
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,713
� I'm as baffled as you are, folks,
230
00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:47,000
but the rules are the rules.
231
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:49,134
[crowd cheering]
[beeping]
232
00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:50,671
[buzzer]
[burp, splat]
233
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,681
[growling]
234
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,604
� That's it! [grunt]
[smashing]
235
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:59,057
No more Herr Nice Guy!
236
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,387
[smash]
[panting]
237
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:03,313
♪
238
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:06,442
ANNOUNCER: Volleyball, the sportfor tall people who can't dribble.
239
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,360
[yelling]
240
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,108
[zooming]
241
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,493
[squeaking]
[yell]
242
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:15,659
[grunt, gasp]
[bell ring]
243
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:16,657
[groan]
244
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,118
[yelling]
245
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,945
[gasp]
246
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,617
� I can't watch!
� I can!
247
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,543
[siren wailing]
248
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,633
[bell ringing, buzzer]
[crowd cheering]
249
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,010
♪
250
00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:34,006
ANNOUNCER: Discus, when you absolutely,positively have to throw a plate.
251
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,551
[thud]
[clapping]
252
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,715
[growl, yell]
253
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:44,225
♪
254
00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:46,728
[barking]
255
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,936
[zoom]
256
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,571
[barking]
257
00:10:52,194 --> 00:10:53,574
[galloping]
258
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,953
[bell ding]
[painful squealing]
259
00:10:56,949 --> 00:11:00,449
[bell ringing, buzzer]
[crowd cheering]
260
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:01,501
[crash]
261
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,710
ANNOUNCER:
High jump, now legal in 12 US states.
262
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:06,956
[grunting]
263
00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:09,209
[yelling]
264
00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:10,801
♪ Caribbean music playing ♪
� Oh?
265
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,628
♪
266
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:17,303
[panting]
267
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:26,399
[excited squealing, laughing]
268
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,645
[panting]
269
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:31,188
[pained yell]
270
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,697
[beeping]
[medals jangling]
271
00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:39,696
[crowd cheering]
272
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,700
[groaning]
273
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:46,669
[echoing groan]
274
00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:49,075
♪ Western music ♪
275
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:51,674
� Wow, that was fun.
� And we've got enough chocolate
276
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:54,050
to make s'mores for the rest of our lives!
277
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,417
♪
278
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,426
[squeaking]
Hey, wait a minute!
279
00:11:58,427 --> 00:11:59,927
These aren't chocolate.
280
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,726
[metallic clunking]
� It's gold!
281
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,015
What a rip�off.
282
00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:08,438
� Nope. Nope. Nope.
[clattering]
283
00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:11,107
What are we supposed to do with
all these junky pieces of metal?
284
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,226
[Nils crying]
285
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,243
NILS:
It's not fair!
286
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,695
I'm the champion! I'm the best!
287
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:21,617
I'm Nils Niedhart! [sob]
288
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:25,578
[thud]
289
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,001
� Maybe we pushed him too far.
290
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,418
� Nah, he had it coming.
291
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,496
[crying]
292
00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:35,262
Hey, fella, come on now.
It can't be that bad. What's the matter?
293
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,465
� You! You are the matter!
294
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,796
� You know, technically, we're all matter.
295
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,221
Made of star stuff.
That's what's so remarkable��
296
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:45,601
� This is not Ted's Talk!
Go away, planet man!
297
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,099
� Alright. See you around the cosmos.
298
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:51,101
♪ magical music ♪
299
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:55,654
� Wow. Really puts
things into perspective.
300
00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:58,951
� Yeah. I feel like I'm back in Paris.
301
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:01,276
♪
302
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:04,540
NILS:
All I wanted was the medals. [sob]
303
00:13:04,535 --> 00:13:07,695
Why couldn't I have the medals!?
304
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,414
� You want the medals?
305
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,424
[engine revving]
Ready?
306
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,416
� Ready!
307
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,341
[excited squealing]
308
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:19,679
[whirring]
[medals jangling]
309
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,009
[bang]
310
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:25,260
[straining]
� Uh, Nils? The medals?
311
00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:27,024
They're too heavy.
� Quick! Get rid of them!
312
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,345
[straining]
313
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:31,190
� Never! I'm keeping them forever!
314
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:33,396
� Okay. Have it your way.
315
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:35,111
[crack]
316
00:13:35,107 --> 00:13:37,687
[screaming]
317
00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:41,202
♪
318
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:43,156
[groan]
319
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:45,906
� Bye!
320
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,995
♪
321
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,960
� Gee, Brain, what do
you want to do tonight?
322
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:58,339
� The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
323
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:02,008
Try to take over the world!
[thunder]
324
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,179
♪ Pinky and the Brain
theme song playing ♪
325
00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:06,178
� ♪ They're Pinky and the Brain ♪
326
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,310
♪ Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪
327
00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:12,097
♪ One is a genius, the other's insane ♪
328
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,152
♪ They're laboratory mice ♪
329
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:16,146
♪ Their genes have been spliced ♪
330
00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:18,818
♪ They're dinky,they're Pinky and the Brain ♪
331
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:21,027
♪ Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪
332
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:24,238
[slam]
333
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,867
♪
334
00:14:32,206 --> 00:14:34,496
[typewriter typing, bell]
335
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:37,459
� Why would they call it
congressional recess
336
00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:40,171
if I can't even play on
the big kids' swings?
337
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:41,092
[knocking]
338
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,588
� Senator Garp? A gift from your
friends at Shlockheed Marvin.
339
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:47,641
Our company's latest project.
340
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,348
A genetically enhanced mouse.
341
00:14:50,349 --> 00:14:52,389
It can even operate a switchboard.
342
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,562
� Huh, I thought that was
something only women could do.
343
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,772
� I also brought one from
our makeup testing facility.
344
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,982
[click, hiss]
345
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,738
♪ sultry music ♪
346
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:05,358
[blink]
347
00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:07,784
� Woof! Well, uh, thanks,
348
00:15:07,783 --> 00:15:10,793
but you know I can't
accept gifts from lobbyists.
349
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:15,287
[both laughing]
350
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:16,960
[laugh] You kill me.
351
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,169
� [chuckling]
We're working on it.
352
00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:23,217
� You see that, Pinky?
353
00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:26,175
Every Senator is seedy and corrupt.
354
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,596
I will use this corruption
to my advantage.
355
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:30,675
I shall blackmail every politician
356
00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:34,061
until I'm the only one left,
and the world is mine!
357
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:35,139
But first...
358
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,689
[banging]
359
00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:40,188
[grunt]
360
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,943
Look! A firetruck is outside,
361
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:47,284
and they're giving every
good boy a free ride.
[Garp gasps, giggles]
362
00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:49,281
� Me first! Me first!
363
00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:52,289
� I too go firetruck!?
364
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:54,155
� No, Pinky.
365
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,872
You must help me assume
Senator Garp's identity
366
00:15:56,874 --> 00:16:00,174
so I can wield his power
for my own nefarious ends.
367
00:16:00,169 --> 00:16:00,789
[beeping]
368
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,462
[whirring, banging]
369
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,633
♪
370
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:10,218
[clicking, whirring]
371
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:12,220
[clanking]
372
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:15,562
Remember.
As far as the public is concerned,
373
00:16:15,559 --> 00:16:17,639
this office stands for integrity,
374
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,654
honesty, and transparency.
375
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,066
Using this suit, I will masquerade as Garp
376
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:25,395
and blackmail every Senator with
a campaign of lies and deception
377
00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:26,702
until I get my way.
378
00:16:27,196 --> 00:16:30,696
� But, Brain, you always told me that
lying makes hair grow on your palms.
379
00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:32,699
� In politics, Pinky, lies are just
380
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:35,201
facts that haven't been
repeated enough yet.
381
00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:38,084
And if you don't believe that now,
you will soon because...
382
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:40,631
lies are just facts that haven't
been repeated enough yet.
383
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,588
� Ain't that the truth!
384
00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:46,547
♪
385
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:50,008
� Senator Smith! Is that
the Cancerous Meat Distribution Act
386
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,350
I see? Hand it over.
387
00:16:51,345 --> 00:16:54,715
� Why would I do that? You're not on
the Ways and Means committee.
388
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:58,353
� I will be once you resign
and give me your chairmanship.
389
00:16:58,977 --> 00:17:01,097
� I thought I had that booger killed!
390
00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:03,444
� Wait until they see where you wiped it!
391
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:04,650
♪
392
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:07,237
� You win this time, Garp,
393
00:17:07,236 --> 00:17:08,946
but I'll have the last laugh.
394
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:11,156
Ha!
� Ha ha!
395
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:12,156
� Dang it!
396
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,030
� Hm...
397
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:16,544
♪
398
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,791
� Here's your coffee, Senator Garp.
� Thanks. Who are you?
399
00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:26,264
� I'm Brie, Senator.
I've worked here for 10 months.
400
00:17:26,255 --> 00:17:28,915
� Sorry, I'm bad with the names
of people I don't care about.
401
00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:30,014
Like that guy.
402
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:33,218
� Actually, my name is Guy!
Thanks for remembering.
403
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,720
� Bad example. Like, uh,
that page over there.
404
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,232
� [laugh] Sorry, my name is Paige.
405
00:17:38,225 --> 00:17:40,515
With an "I," but I'm still taking it.
406
00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:42,269
� Fine. Like that no�name.
407
00:17:42,271 --> 00:17:44,821
� [chuckle]
So, funny story��
408
00:17:44,815 --> 00:17:46,895
� Silence!
409
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,030
� Are you okay? You're very pale.
410
00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,607
Also, did your head get real tiny?
411
00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:53,413
� It's nothing. Just a cold.
412
00:17:53,407 --> 00:17:54,907
[sip]
Blech!
413
00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,294
This coffee is terrible!
414
00:17:57,286 --> 00:17:59,076
Someone ought to destabilize Guatemala,
415
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,579
so we can get some
decent beans around here!
416
00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:04,293
Actually, put that in my planner.
417
00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:06,043
And get me a new coffee!
418
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:08,634
With mayonnaise,
and add some canned ham!
419
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:09,880
This is the '50s!
420
00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:11,382
[bang]
421
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,928
� Right away, sir.
422
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,555
♪
423
00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:20,597
BRAIN:
10 resignations in 10 days.
424
00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:23,401
I'll be ruling the world
in no time at all!
425
00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,645
� Oh, I'm having a good time, too, Brain!
426
00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,567
I'm binge�watching this new show!
427
00:18:27,566 --> 00:18:28,396
♪ bars and tone ♪
428
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,030
The purple one's in love
with the yellow one,
429
00:18:31,028 --> 00:18:33,238
but the green one
keeps getting in the way!
430
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,988
It's so dramatic!
431
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:37,200
� Senator Garp, here's your new��
[shatter]
432
00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:38,201
♪
433
00:18:38,202 --> 00:18:39,292
� Poit!
434
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:41,213
[scream]
435
00:18:43,916 --> 00:18:46,286
Everyone! There's something
going on with Senator Garp!
436
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:48,713
I saw him talking to a�� a mouse!
437
00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:51,634
� Whoops, wrong end.
438
00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:55,259
� Blast that intern.
If she's seen you, she knows too much.
439
00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:57,430
� Oh, this is all my fault.
440
00:18:57,429 --> 00:19:00,599
Remember when you asked if
I would rather fly or be invisible,
441
00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:02,099
and I said fly?
442
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,480
Well, I've been paying for it ever since!
443
00:19:04,478 --> 00:19:06,148
� We must think fast, Pinky.
444
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,566
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
� I think so, Brain,
445
00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:10,855
but what does a steam�powered
giraffe even eat?
446
00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:12,819
� It was at least this big,
447
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:15,699
with red glowing eyes like a Communist!
448
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:18,827
� Hold on! There are no mice in my office.
449
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,745
You must have just seen
my Italian friend here.
450
00:19:21,745 --> 00:19:23,995
� Aloha!
451
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,325
� I know what I saw.
452
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,554
Hey, has anyone ever told you
that you kinda look like a mouse?
453
00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:33,546
[gasps, suspicious murmuring]
454
00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:34,549
MAN:
Scrambled eggs!
455
00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:36,260
� Uh, everyone calm down!
456
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:38,140
I have nothing to do with mice.
457
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:41,386
Look, we hate mice. Even more than you do!
458
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:43,680
� Oh yeah? Prove it!
459
00:19:43,684 --> 00:19:46,104
� If there are mice in this Congress,
460
00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:48,113
I will find them and destroy them...
[Pinky groans]
461
00:19:48,105 --> 00:19:51,185
faster than you can say, "Clams casino!"
462
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:55,067
[gasp]
[satisfied murmuring]
463
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:56,450
[door shuts]
� Hm...
464
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,616
� Psst, hey, Brain.
465
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:03,077
Isn't it true,
and correct me if I'm wrong,
466
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:04,908
but aren't we mice?
467
00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:07,123
� It's the oldest rule of politics, Pinky.
468
00:20:07,124 --> 00:20:10,424
When you are the target,
create a bigger target somewhere else.
469
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:12,959
We need a scapegoat.
� Oh, a scapegoat!
470
00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:14,723
Oh, Brain, Brain, can we keep him?
471
00:20:14,715 --> 00:20:18,005
I promise to feed him and walk him
and do goat noises with him.
472
00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:18,840
[bleats]
473
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,639
[scream]
[crash]
474
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,057
� Last night, as head of the newly formed
475
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,096
Committee on Un�human Activities,
476
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,730
Senator Garp charged another Senator
477
00:20:27,728 --> 00:20:30,018
with the crime of being a mouse.
478
00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:31,269
[clip]
479
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,943
[crowd booing]
480
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:36,241
� I have in my handa list of dozens of Senators
481
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:37,816
who are card�carrying mice!
482
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:39,241
[gasp]
483
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:43,577
REPORTER: As Senator Garp investigates,we must ask ourselves
484
00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:46,657
what will be the consequencesof this purge?
485
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:49,673
Until tomorrow, good night and night good.
486
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,004
� Do you hear that, Pinky?
� No, Brain.
487
00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:56,553
I don't hear a thing.
� Exactly. I have secured the resignations
488
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,008
of the entire Senate.
489
00:20:58,008 --> 00:20:59,718
There's no one left to oppose me!
490
00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:02,428
The Senate is empty!
491
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:06,099
� [sigh] It's so quiet,
I can finally hear me�self think.
492
00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:08,479
♪ Tickle, tickle, jab, jab! ♪
493
00:21:08,477 --> 00:21:11,057
♪ That's how to fight a pirate crab! ♪
494
00:21:11,063 --> 00:21:13,863
� Yes, Pinky. Enjoy this moment.
495
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,857
Our end is in sight.
496
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:18,950
Oh! What are you still doing here?
497
00:21:18,946 --> 00:21:20,566
And what are you doing in my office?
498
00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:22,822
� I was just dropping off some papers.
499
00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:25,294
I took out the odd pages
because I can't even.
500
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:27,115
[nervous laugh]
501
00:21:27,871 --> 00:21:30,171
� Zort! Oh, that was a close one, Brain.
502
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:32,325
� Too close, my friend.
503
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:35,464
I'd forgotten about Brie,
but she is clearly onto us.
504
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:37,012
We need to do something about her.
505
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,585
� Say no more.
506
00:21:38,590 --> 00:21:42,140
I shall make her a 'you're doing
a great job, Brie' cake.
507
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:44,095
� Make it a devil's food cake, Pinky,
508
00:21:44,096 --> 00:21:46,136
♪
509
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:48,979
because I am going
to put her through hell!
510
00:21:48,976 --> 00:21:51,976
[crowd chatter]
511
00:21:57,609 --> 00:21:58,899
Tell us, Brie.
512
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:01,532
It says here that you are from Wisconsin,
513
00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:03,780
famed for its production of cheese!
514
00:22:04,741 --> 00:22:06,741
� Sure am. That's why I'm named Brie.
515
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:09,453
� Interesting. Please note for the record
516
00:22:09,454 --> 00:22:11,874
that cheese is a favorite food
517
00:22:11,874 --> 00:22:13,334
of mice!
518
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:14,793
[gasping, murmuring]
519
00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:18,093
� How dare you! You have no decency, sir!
520
00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:20,588
Sure, we love cheese, but why wouldn't we?
521
00:22:20,591 --> 00:22:23,141
It's melty and delicious.
You can have it in...
522
00:22:23,135 --> 00:22:25,795
in a casserole, sprinkle it on your chili!
523
00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:28,394
Now, I'm just a simple
girl from Wisconsin,
524
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:32,560
but in my opinion,
being anti�cheese is downright
anti�American!
525
00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:33,811
What do y'all think?
526
00:22:33,812 --> 00:22:35,442
[cheering]
527
00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:38,614
� Wait! You can't question my loyalty!
528
00:22:38,609 --> 00:22:40,529
My chief of staff will vouch for me.
529
00:22:41,195 --> 00:22:42,855
� Bonjour.
� Mr. Pinky,
530
00:22:42,863 --> 00:22:45,203
in your expert Italian opinion,
531
00:22:45,199 --> 00:22:47,449
am I an American?
� Oh, gosh.
532
00:22:47,451 --> 00:22:49,081
Well, um, uh, sure, Brain!
533
00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:51,117
Uh, I�I mean Senator Gorp�� Garp!
534
00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:53,081
[shivering]
Oh... uh oh.
535
00:22:53,081 --> 00:22:54,371
♪
536
00:22:54,374 --> 00:22:56,884
� Did you just call him 'Brain?'
537
00:22:56,877 --> 00:22:59,127
I'll remind you, Mr. Pinky,
that you are under oath!
538
00:22:59,129 --> 00:23:01,589
[nervous shivering, jabbering]
539
00:23:01,590 --> 00:23:03,470
� Come on, Pinky. Tell them.
540
00:23:03,467 --> 00:23:04,797
[shivering]
541
00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:06,391
� Fine!
542
00:23:06,386 --> 00:23:07,756
I'm a mouse!
543
00:23:07,763 --> 00:23:08,473
[surprised grunt]
544
00:23:08,472 --> 00:23:10,272
� [gasps]
WOMAN: He's not Italian!
545
00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:12,887
� I'm as shocked as you all are!
546
00:23:12,893 --> 00:23:14,733
� But you're a mouse, too, Brain!
547
00:23:14,728 --> 00:23:15,978
[gasps]
548
00:23:15,979 --> 00:23:18,149
The real Senator is outside.
549
00:23:18,148 --> 00:23:21,858
� [kids laughing]
� Wee�woo! Wee�woo! Wee�woo!
550
00:23:21,860 --> 00:23:23,900
� Arrest those mice!
551
00:23:23,904 --> 00:23:27,704
[angry yelling]
552
00:23:29,159 --> 00:23:31,159
� Time to make our escape, Pinky.
553
00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:32,791
[blast, smash]
554
00:23:32,788 --> 00:23:33,998
♪
555
00:23:33,997 --> 00:23:36,037
[honking]
556
00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:37,791
[zoom, squawking]
557
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:41,415
� I'm sorry I cracked
under the pressure, Brain!
558
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:43,921
I was so tired of the lies!
559
00:23:43,924 --> 00:23:46,014
� Water under the bridge, my friend!
560
00:23:46,009 --> 00:23:47,509
We must prepare for tomorrow night!
561
00:23:47,511 --> 00:23:51,141
� Why, Brain? What are we
going to do tomorrow night?
562
00:23:51,139 --> 00:23:53,429
� The same thing we do every night, Pinky!
563
00:23:53,725 --> 00:23:56,095
[smack, crack, crash]
564
00:23:56,103 --> 00:23:58,483
[woozy]
Try to take over the world...
565
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,770
♪
566
00:24:02,818 --> 00:24:05,818
♪ classical music ♪
567
00:24:19,835 --> 00:24:21,955
� Good evening, and welcome
568
00:24:21,962 --> 00:24:24,342
to Math�terpiece Theater.
569
00:24:24,339 --> 00:24:26,799
Tonight, a tale of betrayal...
570
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,180
[shatter, scream]
of madness...
571
00:24:29,178 --> 00:24:32,428
of a woman struggling
for her very right to live.
572
00:24:35,434 --> 00:24:38,814
Nancy has five apples.
573
00:24:38,812 --> 00:24:40,982
She loses two apples.
574
00:24:42,274 --> 00:24:45,284
How many apples does Nancy have?
575
00:24:45,277 --> 00:24:46,527
[dog barking]
576
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:49,528
♪
577
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:01,041
[growling, rip]
578
00:25:02,336 --> 00:25:03,796
[growl, chomp]
579
00:25:05,714 --> 00:25:07,844
URCHIN: Mama? You brought food?
580
00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:09,431
� The baby is sick.
581
00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:12,433
[baby noises]
[footsteps]
582
00:25:14,723 --> 00:25:16,353
� John, we meet again.
583
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:20,400
� You know I'm duty bound to
protect those apples, Nancy.
584
00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:23,733
� I shall never yield to you.
585
00:25:24,691 --> 00:25:25,571
[grunts]
586
00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:27,397
♪
587
00:25:27,402 --> 00:25:30,032
� You can't run forever, Nancy!
588
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:32,200
Not from the law!
589
00:25:32,199 --> 00:25:33,869
[clattering]
590
00:25:33,867 --> 00:25:35,737
� The only law I know
591
00:25:35,744 --> 00:25:38,874
is the one that compels
me to feed my children!
592
00:25:38,872 --> 00:25:41,122
And now, I only have...
593
00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:43,497
Three apples.
594
00:25:43,502 --> 00:25:45,462
[scraping]
595
00:25:45,462 --> 00:25:47,212
� Gripping.
596
00:25:47,214 --> 00:25:49,514
NARRATOR:
Next time on Math�terpiece Theater...
597
00:25:50,008 --> 00:25:51,218
[zooming]
598
00:25:51,218 --> 00:25:53,428
♪
599
00:25:53,428 --> 00:25:56,928
� Train A, traveling 40 miles per hour,
600
00:25:56,932 --> 00:26:00,442
left the station at 2:45? [gasp]
601
00:26:00,435 --> 00:26:02,515
Heaven help us!
602
00:26:03,522 --> 00:26:06,532
♪
42254
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