Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,523 --> 00:00:02,393
: Previously
on Wynonna Earp.
2
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:04,091
I am a fully grown half-angel.
3
00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:06,876
-I am the guardian.
-I'm sworn to protect Waverly!
4
00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:08,965
They're working on some
inter-dimensional gateway.
5
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,011
It's the 2005 chili cook-off
all over again.
6
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,751
I'm gonna be waiting for you
7
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,666
back in Purgatory.
8
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:15,841
Ahh!
9
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:17,582
I'm here, and we gotta
get back there!
10
00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:18,757
Ahh!
11
00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:19,497
No...
12
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:21,282
Waverly.
13
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,633
-The town...
-You've been gone 18 months,
14
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:26,374
three weeks, and four days.
15
00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:28,289
All of you have.
16
00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:37,298
Someone has been handing out
hemp neckties.
17
00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:39,778
That's a clear fashion don't.
18
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:41,780
Who the hell? And why?
19
00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,043
Frontier justice.
20
00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:44,653
Retribution must not only
be paid,
21
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,263
it must be seen to be paid.
22
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,961
The old-timey version of
"pics or it didn't happen".
23
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,964
Something here is pretty off.
24
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:53,401
Shorty's.
25
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:55,055
We think better with a little
fire in our bellies.
26
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:03,759
Uh, Nedley and I were here,
27
00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,240
after you followed Waverly
up the stairs.
28
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,242
We drank your tequila,
29
00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:10,374
uh, but we did not macramé.
30
00:01:10,418 --> 00:01:12,724
So unless this is just
a surprise makeover
31
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,335
by The Property Brothers...
32
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:17,512
On occasion, I will put it on
33
00:01:17,555 --> 00:01:19,992
in the middle of the afternoon,
if I have cleaning to do.
34
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,300
What is this menu?
35
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:26,086
"Gunfight At The Okra Corral."
36
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,131
What the hell
is a Cock Holliday?
37
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:30,438
It says
it is chicken bone broth.
38
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:33,093
-Is that not simply soup?
-Wynonna?
39
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,355
Chrissy Nedley.
40
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,400
Are you a sight for sore livers.
41
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:39,099
-How dare you?!
-: Hey, whoa!
42
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:41,101
What the fig, Chrissy?!
43
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,537
-Wynonna.
-Ahh!
44
00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:48,020
Let her go.
45
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,462
Alright, say your piece,
Chrissy.
46
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:56,028
Say your piece, Chrissy,
just say your piece.
47
00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:58,161
If you wanna chat, I can chat.
I'm a good listener.
48
00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:01,382
Wynonna Earp, I am placing you
under citizen's arrest.
49
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,775
For the murder of my father.
50
00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,386
Randall Nedley.
51
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,393
It's just so good to be home.
52
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:20,314
♪ 'Cause I gave you
all I got to give ♪
53
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,490
♪ I know that ain't
no way to live ♪
54
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:25,406
♪ So I told that devil
55
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,756
♪ To take you back
56
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:30,498
♪ I told that devil
57
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,282
♪ To take you back
58
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,459
I would never hurt Nedley!
59
00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:37,200
As if we'd take the word
of an Earp!
60
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,071
Your dad did. He trusted me!
61
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,552
-Unhand her at once!
-Nedley can't be dead.
62
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:42,771
We demand proof.
63
00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:44,555
He was last seen with Wynonna.
64
00:02:44,599 --> 00:02:46,688
And that's when she disappeared
for a year and a half!
65
00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:49,212
-What a coincidence!
-Your dad was helping me!
66
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,518
He was hurt,
67
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,433
but I left him safe
with Mercedes!
68
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:54,130
Wait. When did you say?
69
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,958
We were gone mere days.
You lie.
70
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,046
: No, no!
71
00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:58,395
We've been waiting too long.
72
00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,570
No!
73
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,141
Doc!
74
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,796
Wynonna!
75
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,539
Put the rope down
and back away from the woman.
76
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:15,195
Sheriff.
77
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:17,414
That's not the sheriff.
Where's Nicole?
78
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:21,201
Miss Chrissy,
79
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:23,638
your dad lived his life
for the law.
80
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,248
What would he think
of your behavior now?
81
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:26,902
-You didn't know him.
-No.
82
00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:29,121
But I do know this is not
the way we do things
83
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:30,035
in Purgatory.
84
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,386
: We want justice!
85
00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:36,781
Thank you.
86
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:38,043
: Yeah, this isn't
right!
87
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:39,610
Just like the criminal vermin
88
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,656
we hung last Monday,
89
00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:43,832
Miss Earp shall have
a trial first.
90
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,662
Get Waverly! Get Nicole!
91
00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:48,924
I shall get everyone.
92
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:00,109
-Sup?
-Whoa!
93
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:04,069
Valdez. Rachel Valdez.
94
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,332
Hi.
95
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,290
-I'm, uh...
-Cold?
96
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,381
Yeah. Frozen.
97
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:12,730
I mean, I'm practically Elsa!
98
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:16,865
-I had no idea you were...
-Kombucha?
99
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:18,997
Pardon?
100
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,912
I make it myself.
And after last night,
101
00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,392
I bet you need some hydration.
102
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,830
Mmm.
103
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,528
Microbes.
104
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:29,791
So, you're staying here?
105
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:33,925
Batman in the microwave!
106
00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:35,405
What? What is that?
107
00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:37,668
-There's something in the trap.
-Which one?
108
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:40,367
-Behind the barn.
-What are we trapping?
109
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:43,065
Monsters.
110
00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:44,762
Huh.
111
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,077
There's ten traps
on the homestead.
112
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,122
We gotta do a full
circuit check every two hours.
113
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,211
I thought the curse
was broken.
114
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,604
Traps aren't for Revenants.
115
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,345
There's all sorts of things
in the woods now.
116
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,520
And one of them,
117
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,957
this big ugly troll,
wants in here bad.
118
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,655
: Oh, tarnation!
119
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:13,008
Thank you for the exceptionally
tight welcome.
120
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:15,663
Rachel, Doc, Doc, Rachel.
121
00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:16,359
Sup?
122
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,143
Don't move.
123
00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,538
I am rather determined not to.
124
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:24,759
Ohh!
125
00:05:26,064 --> 00:05:27,892
It is good to see you,
Sheriff Haught.
126
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:31,156
Yeah, well, these days,
it's just Nicole, or...
127
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,332
"that crazy ginger bitch."
128
00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:36,684
God, it's...
129
00:05:36,727 --> 00:05:38,250
I'm so, so glad you made it,
Henry.
130
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:39,513
Ugh!
131
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,689
You smell aggressively bad.
132
00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:43,647
Yeah, we use skunk juice
to bait the traps.
133
00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:45,388
Wynonna isn't marinating
in skunk juice
134
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,824
in one of these, is she?
135
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:48,913
-Wynonna is in jail.
-What?
136
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:50,393
They have framed her.
137
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,395
For the murder of Randy Nedley.
138
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,877
Who are you?
139
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,008
You can call me the Sheriff.
140
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:59,097
Okay, then you can call me
an Uber.
141
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:01,796
Ooh! Uh...
142
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,625
Back away from the glass,
6-1-3-3.
143
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,017
Dude...
144
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:07,279
There's a guy in there,
I'm not going in there.
145
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:08,933
Yeah, main cell's
chock-a-block.
146
00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:11,371
But believe you me,
he's far from the worst of 'em.
147
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:15,375
Uh...
148
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,464
Assless chap?
I want my phone call!
149
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:21,468
-I want my phone call!
-Sorry I can't hear you.
150
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,295
I demand a phone call!
151
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:30,215
-Who are you?
-Casey. You?
152
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:31,695
Local nogoodnik, Wynonna Earp.
153
00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:34,002
Ahh!
154
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,307
I thought I'd be safe in here!
155
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,961
Wow. Didn't even
have to steal your pudding cup
156
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,267
to establish who's boss. Nice.
157
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:41,923
From demons
and famous demon hunters.
158
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,884
Back up one sec.
159
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,626
Pretend I haven't been here
for, say, a year and a half,
160
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,193
and just explain to me.
161
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,586
Uh, since the town
was evacuated
162
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:55,197
-for the forest fires?
-Say I remember that.
163
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,199
Oh, well,
the townspeople left,
164
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,548
but demons came.
165
00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:00,028
You know when there's,
like, a bush party?
166
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:01,943
And nobody knows
who started it,
167
00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:04,032
but everybody hears
about it somehow?
168
00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,468
They all just started
showing up.
169
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,035
Everybody shows up for bush.
170
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:09,385
Yeah, the townspeople
were allowed to come back home,
171
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,474
and there was, like,
an ongoing demon rager,
172
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:12,519
centered around the woods.
173
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:16,218
-The stairs.
-I'm not, I'm not staring!
174
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,480
Also I'm only a half-demon!
175
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:18,699
So, you know,
please don't shoot!
176
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:19,917
Casey, don't be a weenie.
177
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,832
I don't even
have my gun anymore.
178
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:22,572
In here...
179
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,445
Obviously the Sheriff
would have taken it.
180
00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:28,099
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
181
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,363
So the woods are full
of monsters.
182
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:33,148
Crawling with 'em.
183
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:36,934
These days, the only place
scarier than in here...
184
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:37,674
is out there.
185
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:04,875
I have a half-knitted scarf
I was making him for Christmas.
186
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,703
His waders
are still in the barn.
187
00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:08,139
Yeah. I know, Waves.
188
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:10,185
It's tough to think
of a world without Randy Nedley.
189
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:14,276
-How can he just... be gone?
190
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:16,800
It was months of chaos
after the evacuation ended.
191
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,802
People came back, yeah, but...
192
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:21,109
to be blunt,
others just disappeared.
193
00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:22,937
Kate?
194
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:24,939
I saw her on
one of the evacuation trains.
195
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,506
But beyond that...
196
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,333
Jeremy? And Robin?
197
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:29,596
Jeremy's getting by,
198
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:31,423
though I haven't heard
from him in months.
199
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,208
Robin...
200
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,560
How could we have been
in that garden
201
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:38,909
for a year and a half?
202
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:42,173
We were not.
Time must be differentiated,
203
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,914
fluid in some manner.
204
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,526
Yeah, God,
it's such a mind-frog.
205
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:48,615
I mean, how old even am I?
206
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,095
I missed so many
Property Brothers!
207
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:52,967
I feel that.
208
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:55,404
At least if we'd have lived
the past 18 months,
209
00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:56,884
it would be easier to--
210
00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:59,582
There was nothing easy
about those months. Not a thing.
211
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:01,192
No, I didn't mean it
like that.
212
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:03,586
Not like that at all.
213
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:06,023
There's no almond milk.
214
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:09,113
It's still hard
to get some things. Sorry.
215
00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:12,639
Please don't say you're sorry
anymore, okay?
216
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,075
You don't need to be.
217
00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:15,555
What you have done, Sheriff...
218
00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:20,560
Nicole...
219
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,606
is nothing short of heroic.
220
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:24,825
In the face of all adversity,
221
00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:26,696
you alone
kept the homestead safe.
222
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,395
I had Rachel.
223
00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:31,788
And the Earp shotguns.
224
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,575
And Wynonna
still hasn't come home.
225
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,143
They have to let us see her.
226
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:42,364
Wynonna said she last left
Nedley with Mercedes.
227
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,627
-What is the news on her?
-It's not good.
228
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,934
There's a new demon bar
out on Horsehead Trail.
229
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,153
And, though given
the circumstances,
230
00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:50,546
it is but a trifle...
231
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:54,637
is there word of my Charlene?
232
00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,552
♪ Tell your mama
233
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,510
♪ Tell your pa
234
00:09:58,554 --> 00:10:01,296
♪ Tell your daddy
what you never saw ♪
235
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:03,733
♪ You can run out
236
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:04,865
Woo-hoo!
237
00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,649
♪ Run out that door
238
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,704
Vacation is over, assholes.
239
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:22,317
It is time for a Holliday.
240
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,626
The club is members only.
241
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,106
Well, here are my dues.
242
00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:34,416
Salutations, Patrons of...
243
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,244
The Glory Hole?
244
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:39,943
Is that really the name
of this latrine?
245
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,380
"Why should I obtain by force
246
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:46,210
that which I can obtain
by cheating?"
247
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:48,865
John Henry Holliday,
248
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:52,477
born 1851, Griffin, Georgia.
249
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:53,348
Amon.
250
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,265
I'm the proprietor
of this latrine.
251
00:10:57,308 --> 00:11:00,485
You sure you wouldn't rather
cheat than force your way in?
252
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,444
Bring me Ms. Gardner.
253
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:05,099
Unless you fancy
kissing hardwood too.
254
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:07,101
Hmm, well...
255
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:08,755
There were parts
of that scenario
256
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:11,279
which I found enticing.
257
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:16,197
Big fan, Mr. H.
258
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:19,635
It's a demon bar.
259
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:24,509
You think we're not thrilled
to welcome an undead legend?
260
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,689
Not the worst thing
I've been called.
261
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,911
: Welcome
to my Glory Hole.
262
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:37,044
-That's right, bonbons.
263
00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:40,047
It's time for your nicest vice,
264
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,049
the mistress of the ruthless.
265
00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:46,227
Portia Control.
266
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:48,316
♪ Do you want to go downtown
267
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:51,536
♪ See the city lights,
it's the red light district ♪
268
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:54,104
♪ Do you want to go downtown
269
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:59,240
If they think
they're gonna lock up my sister
270
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,459
for the maybe murder
of my favorite Sheriff,
271
00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,026
present company excepted,
of course.
272
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:04,941
Present company
not the Sheriff.
273
00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:06,987
Yeah, and what the hell's
that about?!
274
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:09,293
Yeah. You haven't met
the "they" yet.
275
00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,121
Nicole. I am gonna go to town
276
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:13,036
and I am gonna kick so much ass,
277
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:14,559
I might go up a shoe size.
278
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,737
God, I've missed you,
Waverly Earp.
279
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,479
Though how do I,
an adult woman,
280
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:23,830
own this many fuzzy garments?
281
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,093
It's only cause I organized it
by fabric.
282
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:28,008
I did faux fur, flirty florals,
283
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,139
feminine flannels...
284
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,273
You saved it all.
285
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:34,884
-So carefully.
286
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,625
Yeah, everything I could,
anyway.
287
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:37,887
: A little help here,
please!
288
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:41,108
-Geez. Hey, Rachel!
289
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:43,023
Not like that!
290
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:45,808
Honestly, it's like this girl
has never milked a skunk before.
291
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:50,334
You're saying all these words
like they make sense.
292
00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:51,596
I gotta go save her
from herself.
293
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,730
Come back safe, okay? Again.
294
00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:57,559
And with Wynonna this time.
295
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,213
: I just need
your juice!
296
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:00,692
Okay.
297
00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:07,917
What are you in for?
298
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:10,137
I splatowed
one of my customers.
299
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:11,791
I thought she was a Medusa.
300
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:14,271
-'Cause of how high you were?
-No, because she was a Medusa.
301
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:19,929
If Purgatory's such
a hellhole now, why stay?
302
00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:22,889
Wait... How'd you get around
the problem of the border?
303
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:25,717
What problem with the border?
304
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:27,894
Oh, did I not mention that?
305
00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:29,112
-Okay...
306
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:31,071
After all the demons
moth-to-a-flamed
307
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:33,900
the Ghost River Triangle,
some government dickpickles
308
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:36,293
set up, like,
a quarantine around the place.
309
00:13:36,337 --> 00:13:37,947
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
so, people can't get out now?
310
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:40,645
Demons can't. Reg peeps can.
311
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:41,908
Good.
312
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,518
Wait. Not criminals!
313
00:13:43,561 --> 00:13:45,650
There's no way in Herojuana
they'll let you out.
314
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:48,740
This is a Russian doll
of suckage.
315
00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:51,265
Inside an arbitrary border,
there's a hellmouth,
316
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:52,788
inside that is a demon
bush party,
317
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,442
inside that is a jail,
318
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:55,878
and inside that,
319
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,880
I'm at the mercy
of a Dukes of Hazzard reject
320
00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,926
who wouldn't know justice
if it splatowed him
321
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:02,015
-in his butter sculpture face.
322
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:03,930
Ms. Earp? You have a visitor.
323
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:04,669
Good.
324
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,498
Give me a heads up next time.
325
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:08,760
You were in the zone.
326
00:14:08,804 --> 00:14:10,675
My client has the right
to a trial.
327
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,721
Your sister will get one.
328
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:13,896
That's the whole reason
I brought her in,
329
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,463
instead of letting the town
hang her.
330
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,814
I'm issuing a writ
of habeas corpus.
331
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:19,684
No!
332
00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:22,122
These dickpickles are gonna have
to show us a body.
333
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:24,689
That is literally
what habeas corpus means.
334
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,387
You two wanna let me know
when you're done slap-fighting
335
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,518
'cause I've got
a hell of a backlog.
336
00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:29,172
Oh, you've got a backlog?
337
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:32,393
Buddy, apparently I haven't
pooped in 18 months.
338
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:33,742
I have a backlog.
339
00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:36,571
Motion to strike that
from the record.
340
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,399
Motion denied.
341
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,444
Nice of you to join us,
Magistrate.
342
00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:42,446
-Mm-hmm.
-Magistrate?
343
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,710
The family member here
would like to register
344
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,364
a judicial complaint,
Your Honor.
345
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:48,583
Yeah, I don't do those.
346
00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:49,845
I just like the part
where I'm all judgy.
347
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:52,456
It's regarding the Earp case.
348
00:14:57,505 --> 00:14:58,288
That's her?
349
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:00,334
That?
350
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:02,771
That can hear you.
351
00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:05,121
Um, we need to manage
this one carefully.
352
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:07,210
There was an incident downtown,
and...
353
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:09,865
-people are watching.
-Ooh, fun.
354
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,650
Uh, can we not refer
to the attempted execution
355
00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:14,522
of my client as fun?
356
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:17,829
Can I speak to you
for a moment privately?
357
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:18,743
In my office?
358
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:21,877
Cute outfit.
359
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:27,709
: Is this our plan?
Is this our entire plan?
360
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:29,363
No, of course not.
361
00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:31,234
Wynonna, we're gonna prove
you didn't kill Nedley.
362
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:32,192
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
363
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:33,845
Doc's all over it.
364
00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:39,590
♪ Do you wanna go downtown
365
00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:44,595
Behave, bunnies.
366
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:45,466
Or don't.
367
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:50,427
What a dame.
368
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:53,300
Do you want another
Brandy Alexander?
369
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,390
I wish I could offer
you something different,
370
00:15:56,433 --> 00:16:00,960
but my supply trucks
keep getting eaten by the woods.
371
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:04,964
And what with this county
technically dry these days...
372
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:09,751
Doc!
373
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:12,841
What a relief it is
to see you.
374
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,539
And a letdown to smell you.
375
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:18,238
Well, careful now.
376
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,457
You will make
your bunnies jealous.
377
00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:21,981
They just love
when I serve them up
378
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,809
all that bloodsucker realness.
379
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:27,682
Who turned you? Was it Kate?
380
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,640
What? I'm not a vamp!
381
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:31,903
Realness means faking it.
382
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:34,210
God. Keep up!
383
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,865
Wait, so you are not
actually a demon?
384
00:16:36,908 --> 00:16:38,345
I just let them think
that I am,
385
00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:40,608
because it's safer that way.
386
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:42,827
What does that tell you
about what this town has become?
387
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:45,613
Please tell me
everyone's okay, Doc.
388
00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:48,746
Waverly is fine.
Wynonna is in jail.
389
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:50,835
Frick. I was worried
about that.
390
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,446
What really happened
to Nedley?
391
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:55,884
When Wynonna left him with me,
392
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,407
I tried my best to Meredith Grey
393
00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:59,192
that magnificent old bitch
back to health.
394
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:01,803
But eventually,
he did a runner on me.
395
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:02,847
Why?
396
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:05,807
He was oozing. And he smelled.
397
00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,418
Like a teen boy's feet,
coated in blue cheese.
398
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,376
Worse than you!
399
00:17:10,594 --> 00:17:12,074
You paint quite
a picture, Portia.
400
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,510
I tried my best.
401
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:16,122
But this place was getting real.
402
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:17,993
And after a few days, he just...
403
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,170
he took off into the woods.
404
00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:22,519
Where the monsters are.
405
00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:28,569
You must come
and attest to that.
406
00:17:28,612 --> 00:17:30,571
Doc, this isn't the world
that you all left.
407
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,616
We must produce Nedley,
408
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:34,749
either alive or dead,
we must find him.
409
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:38,405
I can tell you where
the people-eater is,
410
00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:40,972
it's out at Grizzly Flats.
411
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:42,800
Maybe you'll find something
to show them.
412
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,541
Doc, they say it's claws
are like if Wolverine
413
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,065
impregnated a chainsaw.
414
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:48,676
Thank you, Mercedes.
415
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,205
Oh!
416
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:58,468
Can we try a jailbreak?
417
00:17:58,512 --> 00:18:00,383
No! They've got a lot
of guys working for them,
418
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:01,689
-whatever they are.
-Yeah.
419
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,212
-What if they're all demons?
-Exactly,
420
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:04,170
-and I don't have my...
421
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:07,564
...shiny thing that makes
with the peace.
422
00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,044
-Shit.
-Ahem!
423
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,090
I have an announcement to make!
424
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:12,874
So!
425
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,401
-You think that our jails
426
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:21,056
are too crowded,
and our courts are too slow?
427
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,754
Think there's nothing to do
in this lame-ass town?
428
00:18:23,798 --> 00:18:26,496
Think we need a little bit
more junk in our trunks?
429
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:29,020
-Is she asking me?
-And as always,
430
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:30,500
we aim to please,
431
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:32,546
and we're here to fix
any problem
432
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:35,331
you guys think
you might have. So...
433
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:38,813
lock up your daughters,
and lube up your saucepans!
434
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:42,599
All of our jailbirds
will be competing for one,
435
00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:45,124
yes, one,
get-out-of-jail-free card.
436
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,821
-In the first ever...
-What?
437
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:50,433
...Randy Nedley Memorial
Chili Cook-off
438
00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,566
For Freedom! Yay!
439
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:58,093
Is... Is this real life?
440
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,008
Might be for you.
But I'm dead.
441
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:12,499
Hope you're ready to stumble!
442
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:15,154
'Cause this tummy
is starting to grumble!
443
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,677
-: Woo!
444
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,984
She is Grade A,
USDA certifiable.
445
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:21,377
Hey, just be glad
you weren't here
446
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:24,815
for the Tops-Off-Dance-Off
For Freedom!
447
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,208
Every month or so,
448
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:28,645
the Magistrate manages
to out-whackadoo herself.
449
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:30,517
I don't get it.
What's her endgame?
450
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,389
Ugh, classic bread
and circuses, brah.
451
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,783
Keep the populace fed
and entertained,
452
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,220
and you can get away
with all kinds of devilry.
453
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:40,483
Yup. Okay, your trash talk
is a little all over the place.
454
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,138
Hey, they set people free
after these contests.
455
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:44,574
I've seen it.
456
00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,185
What if this is the only chance
for us to get out?
457
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:49,057
Wynonna!
458
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:50,537
Hi.
459
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:52,321
Haught.
460
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,761
Thanks for getting her home.
461
00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,850
I only did it for me.
462
00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:01,591
Like everything
you've ever done.
463
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:03,680
It's been a while.
464
00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:07,945
A long while, apparently.
465
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:10,165
-How you holding up?
-Peachy.
466
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,602
Hey. I brought a few things
from home.
467
00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:13,647
Is that against the rules?
468
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:14,996
Uh, I feel like the only rule
469
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:16,563
is don't tell the Empress
she's got no clothes.
470
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:19,392
Well she's def
got no panties.
471
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:23,004
What? She jumped up on a desk.
I couldn't help it.
472
00:20:23,047 --> 00:20:25,224
-Is she waxed?
473
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,964
-Fudge!
-And that's the first toot
474
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:30,359
of the Randy Nedley Memorial
Chili Cook-off For Freedom!
475
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,492
With a lot more toots to follow.
476
00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:33,754
Now get cooking, left-swipes!
477
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:37,279
-Cook!
-Do I put the cheese in first?
478
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:39,063
-Probably, right?
-Oh!
479
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:41,283
-Okay.
-Okay.
480
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:42,284
-Yup.
-Yup.
481
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:43,111
We're on it. We're on it.
482
00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:19,495
Ohh...
483
00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:23,412
Oh, sweet honey-lamb.
484
00:21:41,909 --> 00:21:43,911
Come closer, now.
485
00:21:43,954 --> 00:21:46,479
It is time we met.
486
00:21:51,571 --> 00:21:53,355
Woo! You want a t-shirt?!
487
00:21:53,399 --> 00:21:54,269
You want a t-shirt?
488
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,489
And you get a t-shirt! Oh!
489
00:21:56,532 --> 00:21:58,229
In the nads!
490
00:21:58,273 --> 00:22:00,188
Now they're also XXL!
491
00:22:00,231 --> 00:22:01,581
Probably better
not to be Sheriff
492
00:22:01,624 --> 00:22:02,712
while she's got her hands
on that thing.
493
00:22:02,756 --> 00:22:03,887
Imagine the lawsuits?
494
00:22:05,411 --> 00:22:07,543
I never imagined
you giving up the star,
495
00:22:07,587 --> 00:22:09,197
power-hungry fiend that you are.
496
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,112
I didn't give up.
Cleo showed up,
497
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:13,201
reincorporated the town,
made herself magistrate,
498
00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:16,160
-and elected her own Sheriff.
-So nobody stopped her?
499
00:22:16,204 --> 00:22:18,989
Who had time for politics?
I had Rachel, and the homestead,
500
00:22:19,033 --> 00:22:20,861
and people to look for.
501
00:22:20,904 --> 00:22:22,471
And I did look. Hard.
502
00:22:22,515 --> 00:22:24,038
Where'd you look?
Up Bunny Loblaw's--
503
00:22:24,081 --> 00:22:25,605
Don't come at me about it,
okay, Wynonna?
504
00:22:25,648 --> 00:22:26,867
I know I let everybody down.
505
00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:29,391
Nicole, I would never say--
506
00:22:29,435 --> 00:22:31,785
Are you two chatting?
I need those onions, stat!
507
00:22:31,828 --> 00:22:33,874
Yes, chef! Coming.
508
00:22:33,917 --> 00:22:36,572
Okay. Now,
for the pressed seitan.
509
00:22:36,616 --> 00:22:38,879
what?! Who's President Satan?
510
00:22:38,922 --> 00:22:41,708
No. Seitan.
As in vital wheat gluten.
511
00:22:41,751 --> 00:22:43,318
It's the secret
to a hearty vegan chili.
512
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,798
We're making vegan chili?!
513
00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:46,016
Baby, how's she supposed
to win anything
514
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:47,278
with vegan chili?!
515
00:22:50,194 --> 00:22:52,022
Not today, Satan!
516
00:22:53,197 --> 00:22:54,590
Afternoon, Ms. Haught.
517
00:22:54,634 --> 00:22:55,591
Sheriff Clayborn.
518
00:22:56,766 --> 00:22:58,115
Makes a change to see you
back in town.
519
00:22:58,159 --> 00:22:59,900
I hope that means
there's no hard feelings.
520
00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,381
About the election.
521
00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:04,252
I didn't have as much time
to campaign.
522
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,516
Or your other
rumored advantages.
523
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,213
Nice you can afford
a break now, though.
524
00:23:10,214 --> 00:23:11,390
I mean, that is,
525
00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:13,348
if you feel the homestead
is safe with a...
526
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:14,958
teenage girl on the case.
527
00:23:16,569 --> 00:23:17,700
Good luck with the chili.
528
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,102
Aw, you have your little
worry wrinkle.
529
00:23:28,145 --> 00:23:31,148
There are things, Waverly.
Every night, in those traps.
530
00:23:31,192 --> 00:23:32,454
The monster really wants inside.
531
00:23:33,368 --> 00:23:34,500
You're worried about Rachel.
532
00:23:36,371 --> 00:23:37,720
Why don't you go home?
533
00:23:37,764 --> 00:23:39,505
You sure you don't mind?
534
00:23:39,548 --> 00:23:40,288
No.
535
00:23:49,558 --> 00:23:51,168
I'll give you 20 bucks
for half your bacon.
536
00:23:51,212 --> 00:23:52,996
You don't have 20 bucks.
537
00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:54,911
Wynonna!
538
00:23:59,612 --> 00:24:01,265
For Randy Nedley.
539
00:24:20,328 --> 00:24:21,372
Rachel?!
540
00:24:22,330 --> 00:24:25,115
-Valdez?!
-Nicole! I'm okay!
541
00:24:25,159 --> 00:24:27,161
Okay. You're okay?
542
00:24:27,204 --> 00:24:28,858
Don't make it more painful
by mommying me.
543
00:24:28,902 --> 00:24:30,294
What happened?
544
00:24:30,338 --> 00:24:32,209
I'm out re-baiting trap seven,
by the poplars,
545
00:24:32,253 --> 00:24:35,561
and you scared away the skunks
earlier, so I used kombucha.
546
00:24:35,604 --> 00:24:36,866
What? It kills
all kinds of things,
547
00:24:36,910 --> 00:24:39,390
you know, like intestinal
parasites, and...
548
00:24:39,434 --> 00:24:40,783
Ow, ow!
549
00:24:40,827 --> 00:24:42,393
So I'm filling up the trap,
550
00:24:42,437 --> 00:24:44,918
and it runs in,
you know, the big, crusty one.
551
00:24:44,961 --> 00:24:47,529
But then, you know
that old-timey cowboy dude?
552
00:24:47,573 --> 00:24:48,922
Daddy Blue Eyes?
553
00:24:48,965 --> 00:24:50,097
-Doc.
-Yeah!
554
00:24:50,140 --> 00:24:51,577
He's on the hill,
and he's yelling at it
555
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:53,361
to come get him instead.
556
00:24:53,404 --> 00:24:55,363
-Did he kill it?
-No, but he shot it.
557
00:24:55,406 --> 00:24:58,018
Okay. You are coming inside.
558
00:24:58,061 --> 00:24:59,672
And that is my mommy voice.
559
00:25:02,718 --> 00:25:03,980
Oh, my God. It's edible.
Try it!
560
00:25:04,024 --> 00:25:05,765
You threw stolen beef
and a can of anchovies
561
00:25:05,808 --> 00:25:07,070
into my vegan masterpiece!
562
00:25:07,941 --> 00:25:08,898
Ahh!
563
00:25:08,942 --> 00:25:09,725
Damn.
564
00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:12,815
I'm gonna shove that thing
up her canned anchovies.
565
00:25:12,859 --> 00:25:14,861
Criminal, take it.
566
00:25:15,992 --> 00:25:16,732
And this.
567
00:25:18,038 --> 00:25:19,692
Criminal chiliheads!
568
00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:22,912
As you all know,
I excel at having opinions.
569
00:25:22,956 --> 00:25:24,871
And I was going to decide
today's winner
570
00:25:24,914 --> 00:25:26,350
all by my lonesome,
571
00:25:26,394 --> 00:25:27,917
but a little voice in my head
was like,
572
00:25:27,961 --> 00:25:30,441
don't be such a greedy
skank's toilet, Cleo!
573
00:25:30,485 --> 00:25:31,399
-Cleo?
-Toilet?
574
00:25:31,442 --> 00:25:33,488
So I asked the second...
575
00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:36,578
prettiest girl in all
of Purgatory
576
00:25:36,622 --> 00:25:38,058
to come help me out.
577
00:25:38,101 --> 00:25:41,104
So slap your bits together
for your Miss Kidney Bean:
578
00:25:41,148 --> 00:25:42,889
Chrissy Nedley!
579
00:25:51,332 --> 00:25:54,030
Oh... You weren't kidding.
580
00:25:54,074 --> 00:25:56,903
She really does think
you killed her dad.
581
00:25:56,946 --> 00:25:58,557
Yeah, I don't think
you're gonna win.
582
00:25:59,775 --> 00:26:01,777
I'm gonna turn out the lights
in case it's attracted to them.
583
00:26:05,651 --> 00:26:06,913
It's here.
584
00:26:10,177 --> 00:26:12,614
: Nicole! Let me in!
Let me in!
585
00:26:12,658 --> 00:26:14,660
: It's Dr. Mustache,
we have to save him!
586
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:16,879
: I'm going out front!
587
00:26:18,446 --> 00:26:19,621
It's gonna break the glass!
588
00:26:19,665 --> 00:26:21,144
: Open up!
589
00:26:21,188 --> 00:26:22,972
Nicole, you have
to let him in!
590
00:26:23,016 --> 00:26:24,713
-Nicole!
591
00:26:24,757 --> 00:26:26,497
-Nicole!
592
00:26:28,674 --> 00:26:29,892
Wake up!
593
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:34,636
-: Please!
594
00:26:36,986 --> 00:26:38,379
That felt like it took forever.
595
00:26:38,422 --> 00:26:40,294
-Yeah, I bet.
-Move!
596
00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:53,307
You carried a bottle
the whole time you were running?
597
00:26:53,350 --> 00:26:55,135
-You are goals.
-No, he is not goals,
598
00:26:55,178 --> 00:26:57,659
-he needs water.
-Or maybe he needs...
599
00:26:57,703 --> 00:26:59,661
: Don't say kombucha.
600
00:26:59,705 --> 00:27:01,576
Thanks for distracting
the crusty booger beast.
601
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:03,665
-Right, Haught?
-Yeah. Thanks, Doc.
602
00:27:03,709 --> 00:27:05,885
Do not let me set here
for more than ten minutes.
603
00:27:05,928 --> 00:27:07,626
I am fixing to return
to the woods.
604
00:27:07,669 --> 00:27:09,366
-For what?
-To complete the job.
605
00:27:09,410 --> 00:27:12,456
-That is a host animal.
-For the little puffballs!
606
00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:14,284
I saw it leaking
from the wound.
607
00:27:14,328 --> 00:27:16,547
I believe it has slowed
a little.
608
00:27:16,591 --> 00:27:17,940
Then it's time we strike back.
609
00:27:19,463 --> 00:27:21,422
-It might be okay.
610
00:27:22,379 --> 00:27:23,685
-I'll never get used to that.
-So...
611
00:27:23,729 --> 00:27:25,818
Clearly some of you
didn't want it bad enough.
612
00:27:25,861 --> 00:27:27,428
Seriously, four of those chilis
613
00:27:27,471 --> 00:27:28,995
was just hot diarrhea
with beans.
614
00:27:29,038 --> 00:27:30,692
-Certainly mine.
-Ew.
615
00:27:30,736 --> 00:27:32,955
So, thank you for attending
616
00:27:32,999 --> 00:27:35,654
the first Randy Nedley
Memorial Chili Cook-off.
617
00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:37,351
If you leave off
the "For Freedom", so help me,
618
00:27:37,394 --> 00:27:39,788
I will treat you to an actual
bowl of hot diarrhea.
619
00:27:39,832 --> 00:27:40,659
For Freedom!
620
00:27:42,269 --> 00:27:44,227
My father had a complicated
relationship with this cook-off.
621
00:27:44,271 --> 00:27:46,273
If he were here today,
he would say--
622
00:27:46,316 --> 00:27:48,318
God, no one cares, Pissy,
who won?!
623
00:27:49,929 --> 00:27:52,105
And today's winner
of our get out-of-jail-free card
624
00:27:52,148 --> 00:27:53,367
goes to...
625
00:27:53,410 --> 00:27:54,890
Please, please,
please, please.
626
00:27:54,934 --> 00:27:57,197
Wynonna Earp!
627
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,286
-What?
628
00:28:04,770 --> 00:28:08,382
Winner, winner,
chili dinner! I win!
629
00:28:08,425 --> 00:28:10,558
-Glad it was you, Cell-y!
-Listen, you can have the rest
630
00:28:10,601 --> 00:28:12,342
-of my chili if you want.
-Ah, I'm good.
631
00:28:14,301 --> 00:28:15,215
What?
632
00:28:15,258 --> 00:28:16,390
Ah...
633
00:28:17,783 --> 00:28:19,654
-No way, right?
-Okay!
634
00:28:20,742 --> 00:28:21,612
Bye!
635
00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:25,442
-Pound it. No? No?
636
00:28:25,486 --> 00:28:27,575
It tastes
like peppermint butt.
637
00:28:27,618 --> 00:28:29,403
-Hey, hey!
-So why?
638
00:28:29,446 --> 00:28:31,535
Unhand your Chili Queen!
639
00:28:33,668 --> 00:28:34,582
That's why.
640
00:28:36,671 --> 00:28:38,760
Where are those keys?
641
00:28:39,674 --> 00:28:41,154
To my new car?
642
00:28:41,197 --> 00:28:43,460
Wow, this contest
has everything!
643
00:28:43,504 --> 00:28:45,854
Holt, or Sheriff Clayborn,
644
00:28:45,898 --> 00:28:47,769
doesn't like it when I drive
department vehicles,
645
00:28:47,813 --> 00:28:49,989
but he can have
a big old gag of my gavel.
646
00:28:50,032 --> 00:28:52,469
Did you forget
the "freedom" part?
647
00:28:52,513 --> 00:28:54,210
Yeah, not 'til you get
to the border.
648
00:28:54,254 --> 00:28:55,690
-I'm not leaving town.
-Don't worry,
649
00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:56,865
I can get you out.
650
00:28:56,909 --> 00:28:58,475
-I know people.
-No, I mean, I won't.
651
00:28:58,519 --> 00:29:00,086
Do you know how many
Purgatorians
652
00:29:00,129 --> 00:29:02,131
would have murdered
for this prize?
653
00:29:02,175 --> 00:29:04,307
Oh, weird...
654
00:29:04,351 --> 00:29:06,309
I just realized that that's
exactly what you did!
655
00:29:09,138 --> 00:29:10,749
You acted like you knew
who I was.
656
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,273
When we first met.
657
00:29:13,316 --> 00:29:14,535
But you're not a Revenant.
658
00:29:15,928 --> 00:29:18,191
And if you were really powerful,
you'd just kill me.
659
00:29:21,498 --> 00:29:22,325
Yay!
660
00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:24,850
Keys!
661
00:29:24,893 --> 00:29:26,329
I wish I knew
what we were up against,
662
00:29:26,373 --> 00:29:28,810
so we could prep a silver
bullet or a wooden stake.
663
00:29:28,854 --> 00:29:30,638
-Sorry, Doc.
-Understood.
664
00:29:30,681 --> 00:29:32,771
Okay, don't yell at me,
but...
665
00:29:32,814 --> 00:29:34,860
the creature did make
a Chewbacca howl
666
00:29:34,903 --> 00:29:36,470
when it stepped in the puddle
of kombucha.
667
00:29:36,513 --> 00:29:38,298
For the last time,
home brewed mold juice
668
00:29:38,341 --> 00:29:39,603
will not defeat pure evil.
669
00:29:39,647 --> 00:29:41,780
It smelled like pure evil.
670
00:29:41,823 --> 00:29:45,087
When it was leaking?
Like blue cheese and boy feet.
671
00:29:45,131 --> 00:29:47,133
Did you hear someone say that?
672
00:29:47,176 --> 00:29:49,570
It dealt it.
I simply smelt it.
673
00:29:49,613 --> 00:29:52,399
Look, I am not suggesting
we refrain from hunting it...
674
00:29:52,442 --> 00:29:53,966
Like hell I would.
675
00:29:54,009 --> 00:29:55,663
...but I looked into its eyes
and I'm remain unconvinced
676
00:29:55,706 --> 00:29:57,056
it is our enemy.
677
00:29:57,099 --> 00:29:59,014
This thing wants to take
Waverly's home,
678
00:29:59,058 --> 00:30:01,190
and our ability
to think of anything else.
679
00:30:02,278 --> 00:30:03,584
I found this in the trap,
680
00:30:03,627 --> 00:30:05,064
Last year when you guys were...
681
00:30:05,107 --> 00:30:06,500
Gone for too long.
682
00:30:07,893 --> 00:30:09,024
At first I thought
it was irrelevant,
683
00:30:09,068 --> 00:30:09,895
but then I figured it out.
684
00:30:11,592 --> 00:30:12,854
It's a Hawaiian shirt, Doc.
685
00:30:12,898 --> 00:30:15,248
It's... It's Nedley's shirt.
686
00:30:17,250 --> 00:30:18,686
That thing killed him,
687
00:30:18,729 --> 00:30:19,948
and now we need to kill it.
688
00:30:21,254 --> 00:30:23,343
The ballpuffers are parasites,
689
00:30:23,386 --> 00:30:25,649
and they took over something.
690
00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:26,737
Someone.
691
00:30:28,087 --> 00:30:31,481
Someone that always comes back
to you, Nicole.
692
00:30:31,525 --> 00:30:32,221
No.
693
00:30:33,266 --> 00:30:35,398
What if the ogre
didn't eat Nedley?
694
00:30:35,442 --> 00:30:37,836
-What if the ogre...
-...is Nedley?
695
00:30:42,144 --> 00:30:44,190
People will find out...
696
00:30:44,233 --> 00:30:47,367
about the contest, about you
not keeping your word.
697
00:30:47,410 --> 00:30:49,369
One, how are they gonna
find out?
698
00:30:50,413 --> 00:30:53,982
And two, what does an Earp know
about keeping their word, huh?
699
00:30:54,026 --> 00:30:55,984
That is priceless.
700
00:30:56,028 --> 00:30:57,116
You are hilare.
701
00:30:57,159 --> 00:30:58,639
So this is personal.
702
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,389
No.
703
00:31:09,432 --> 00:31:10,303
See this...
704
00:31:11,478 --> 00:31:14,089
This is hereditary,
daughter of Earps.
705
00:31:17,963 --> 00:31:19,660
Besides, we have to keep
706
00:31:19,703 --> 00:31:22,097
feeding something
to this monster,
707
00:31:22,141 --> 00:31:25,057
whatever it is,
to keep it out of town.
708
00:31:25,100 --> 00:31:26,580
See, Sheriff Holt and I?
709
00:31:26,623 --> 00:31:28,538
We know what it takes
710
00:31:28,582 --> 00:31:30,236
to get dirty jobs done.
711
00:31:31,498 --> 00:31:33,326
And if that dirty job...
712
00:31:35,371 --> 00:31:37,069
happens to be you?
713
00:31:38,766 --> 00:31:40,507
Bonus.
714
00:31:40,550 --> 00:31:42,465
-Now scream.
-Argh!
715
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,468
: Eat my vegan seitan.
716
00:31:45,512 --> 00:31:48,080
See, they lied.
717
00:31:48,123 --> 00:31:49,211
You're not even fun.
718
00:31:53,868 --> 00:31:56,088
Beastie boy!
719
00:31:56,131 --> 00:31:57,698
Come and get it!
720
00:32:01,571 --> 00:32:02,616
Where are you going?
721
00:32:02,659 --> 00:32:04,879
Oh, to sit in my car.
722
00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,402
Take a few pics!
723
00:32:06,446 --> 00:32:08,970
Maybe buff my muff,
if the mood strikes.
724
00:32:09,884 --> 00:32:11,059
You are so weird.
725
00:32:14,454 --> 00:32:15,716
Previews are over.
726
00:32:15,759 --> 00:32:17,457
Looks like the creature feature
is starting.
727
00:32:17,500 --> 00:32:19,241
Get away from her,
skank toilet!
728
00:32:19,285 --> 00:32:20,634
Ahh!
729
00:32:20,677 --> 00:32:21,983
For the record, I don't
believe in skank shaming,
730
00:32:22,027 --> 00:32:22,853
but you said it first.
731
00:32:26,727 --> 00:32:27,989
Sis, you okay?
732
00:32:28,033 --> 00:32:29,773
We need a knife or scissors.
733
00:32:29,817 --> 00:32:31,384
I have... teeth?
734
00:32:32,385 --> 00:32:34,039
Ugh! She's got a weapon!
735
00:32:35,257 --> 00:32:37,129
Friggin' skanks always do.
736
00:32:37,172 --> 00:32:38,652
Wait, I gotta stop saying that.
737
00:32:38,695 --> 00:32:39,609
Okay, stay there!
738
00:32:45,398 --> 00:32:47,791
No, no, no!
739
00:33:01,544 --> 00:33:02,850
Waverly!
740
00:33:05,026 --> 00:33:06,201
Waverly!
741
00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:09,335
-Hold your fire!
-It's Nedley!
742
00:33:12,599 --> 00:33:13,730
Doc, flank him on the back!
743
00:33:13,774 --> 00:33:15,167
Waverly, find your position!
744
00:33:44,761 --> 00:33:49,636
♪ I used to take
on the world on my own ♪
745
00:33:49,679 --> 00:33:52,813
♪ Thought I was so strong
746
00:33:56,686 --> 00:33:59,037
♪ As long as I'm here
747
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,691
♪ By your side
748
00:34:01,735 --> 00:34:04,781
♪ Ten times as strong together
749
00:34:04,825 --> 00:34:07,784
♪ We're amplified
750
00:34:11,484 --> 00:34:12,180
Idiots.
751
00:34:18,578 --> 00:34:21,842
♪ And I'm here by your side
752
00:34:28,979 --> 00:34:29,676
Wynonna?
753
00:34:30,807 --> 00:34:32,157
What did I do?
754
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,246
You survived, Nedley.
755
00:34:34,289 --> 00:34:35,595
That's what you did.
756
00:34:35,638 --> 00:34:36,770
You made it home.
757
00:34:39,990 --> 00:34:40,861
Fuck yeah.
758
00:34:46,867 --> 00:34:49,522
Nedley, I'm not coming
any closer
759
00:34:49,565 --> 00:34:50,871
until you put this on.
760
00:34:52,829 --> 00:34:54,135
There's been enough crime today.
761
00:34:56,006 --> 00:34:56,746
Hey.
762
00:35:00,272 --> 00:35:01,751
-Nicole, what's going on?
-I...
763
00:35:03,144 --> 00:35:05,277
You were not in possession
of your own faculties.
764
00:35:08,193 --> 00:35:09,498
Why do I taste skunk?
765
00:35:09,542 --> 00:35:11,065
That may be me.
766
00:35:13,023 --> 00:35:14,460
That's some intense, brother.
767
00:35:31,564 --> 00:35:32,565
-Dad.
-Chrissy!
768
00:35:32,608 --> 00:35:34,436
Oh, my God. Dad!
769
00:35:35,524 --> 00:35:38,353
-Shh, shh.
770
00:35:42,444 --> 00:35:44,098
They told me you were dead.
771
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:48,146
This stubborn mule? Not yet.
772
00:35:49,843 --> 00:35:52,367
Where were you? What happened?
773
00:35:52,411 --> 00:35:54,064
I really don't remember.
774
00:35:54,108 --> 00:35:57,024
-Ah, might be for the best.
-Might be?
775
00:35:57,067 --> 00:35:59,374
Look, um, we think
he'll be fine.
776
00:35:59,418 --> 00:36:01,898
But just for fun, maybe keep him
away from small game.
777
00:36:05,554 --> 00:36:07,774
Wynonna. I don't even
know what to say.
778
00:36:07,817 --> 00:36:08,514
: I know.
779
00:36:09,645 --> 00:36:11,647
It's just,
since the evacuation, I...
780
00:36:11,691 --> 00:36:14,520
this place...
it got to me and I...
781
00:36:14,563 --> 00:36:16,696
Needed us and got hurt
when we weren't here?
782
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:21,135
-Yeah.
-It won't happen again.
783
00:36:24,530 --> 00:36:25,487
Hey, you.
784
00:36:30,362 --> 00:36:31,450
It's good to have you back.
785
00:36:41,634 --> 00:36:42,417
Nicole.
786
00:36:44,158 --> 00:36:45,507
You should get Chrissy
out of here.
787
00:36:45,551 --> 00:36:46,334
While you still can.
788
00:36:58,738 --> 00:37:00,609
You did the chili cook-off
without me?
789
00:37:02,002 --> 00:37:02,872
Dad...
790
00:37:09,270 --> 00:37:12,099
Here I thought all my flirting
was getting me nowhere.
791
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,842
There is more
where that came from.
792
00:37:15,885 --> 00:37:18,932
That would get my slacks off
in a snap.
793
00:37:18,975 --> 00:37:20,542
'Cause that would be
a challenge.
794
00:37:21,717 --> 00:37:23,545
I paid for that truck,
and its contents,
795
00:37:23,589 --> 00:37:25,068
and I'll be french-fried
796
00:37:25,112 --> 00:37:27,854
if you're going to sell my own
property back to me.
797
00:37:27,897 --> 00:37:30,857
Except I know where it is
and you do not.
798
00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:33,033
But I suppose I could sell
said contents
799
00:37:33,076 --> 00:37:35,383
to the human bar in town...
800
00:37:35,427 --> 00:37:37,255
Let's not get off
on the wrong foot.
801
00:37:39,082 --> 00:37:41,171
I also suggest
that you acquire
802
00:37:41,215 --> 00:37:43,739
protection for your next order
and that would be,
803
00:37:44,740 --> 00:37:46,525
well, yours truly.
804
00:37:46,568 --> 00:37:48,701
An experienced hand
with local knowledge,
805
00:37:48,744 --> 00:37:52,966
who can then safely convey
said truck right to your...
806
00:37:53,836 --> 00:37:54,837
back door.
807
00:37:56,361 --> 00:37:58,014
What would you require
in return?
808
00:37:59,538 --> 00:38:02,497
Something to quench
that vampiric appetite?
809
00:38:03,716 --> 00:38:05,979
When was the last time you fed?
810
00:38:06,022 --> 00:38:07,502
My hunger...
811
00:38:07,546 --> 00:38:08,851
is none of your concern.
812
00:38:08,895 --> 00:38:12,855
What I require
is something more... tangible.
813
00:38:12,899 --> 00:38:13,900
A future favor.
814
00:38:15,162 --> 00:38:16,424
And two thousand a load.
815
00:38:17,817 --> 00:38:19,558
That's highway robbery.
816
00:38:19,601 --> 00:38:21,734
Precisely.
And at a reasonable cost.
817
00:38:21,777 --> 00:38:24,824
But I assure you,
I am the best.
818
00:38:25,825 --> 00:38:26,826
Mm-hmm...
819
00:38:35,356 --> 00:38:36,792
You smell like heaven.
820
00:38:36,836 --> 00:38:38,054
I know.
821
00:38:47,237 --> 00:38:52,852
♪ If you could love
me completely ♪
822
00:38:54,941 --> 00:38:59,772
♪ If you could show me
a sign ♪
823
00:39:02,427 --> 00:39:05,995
Having trouble remembering
where you like these lips.
824
00:39:06,039 --> 00:39:07,780
You seem to be figuring
it out.
825
00:39:10,173 --> 00:39:12,219
You know, the garden tried
to fool me.
826
00:39:13,829 --> 00:39:15,048
With a fake you.
827
00:39:16,223 --> 00:39:17,137
You didn't...
828
00:39:17,180 --> 00:39:19,226
No. Not even close.
829
00:39:20,488 --> 00:39:22,403
But I would've known
in a second.
830
00:39:23,970 --> 00:39:25,319
I know every curve...
831
00:39:27,147 --> 00:39:28,366
every sigh...
832
00:39:30,019 --> 00:39:31,369
every taste...
833
00:39:37,026 --> 00:39:39,377
Wynonna, her midnight snack,
and the pantry door.
834
00:39:40,639 --> 00:39:42,380
She never met a thing
she couldn't slam.
835
00:39:45,295 --> 00:39:46,819
Yeah. I guess I'd forgotten.
836
00:39:48,777 --> 00:39:50,039
I love you, Nicole Haught.
837
00:39:51,563 --> 00:39:53,521
And I can't wait for the rest
of our lives to unfold.
838
00:39:58,918 --> 00:40:00,746
Can you tell me about
your year and a half?
839
00:40:03,270 --> 00:40:05,664
I'm sorry,
I'm just... distracted.
840
00:40:05,707 --> 00:40:07,666
I gotta go check those traps.
841
00:40:07,709 --> 00:40:08,406
Oh.
842
00:40:09,363 --> 00:40:11,757
Yeah. Okay. Uh...
843
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:12,671
Can I come with you?
844
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:15,717
Always.
845
00:40:29,078 --> 00:40:31,864
-Expected date of return?
-Never.
846
00:40:31,907 --> 00:40:34,606
My Dad's birthday is in August.
Might surprise him.
847
00:40:34,649 --> 00:40:36,042
I have to get my supervisor.
848
00:40:47,401 --> 00:40:48,358
: You're cleared to go.
849
00:40:52,058 --> 00:40:52,885
: They're back.
850
00:41:07,856 --> 00:41:10,555
I'll move out to the barn,
now that everyone's back.
851
00:41:11,860 --> 00:41:13,471
-Which is good.
-Take the bed.
852
00:41:14,428 --> 00:41:15,473
You've earned it, kid.
853
00:41:16,430 --> 00:41:17,170
Besides...
854
00:41:18,824 --> 00:41:19,912
I'm better in the cold.
855
00:41:21,870 --> 00:41:23,829
Okay, Jon Snow in a B cup.
856
00:41:24,873 --> 00:41:26,571
And I'm not a kid, Wynonna.
857
00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:30,488
Why'd you leave Monument?
858
00:41:32,402 --> 00:41:34,317
When you're a person
who's gone through some stuff,
859
00:41:35,362 --> 00:41:36,929
and you see somebody else,
who's a good person,
860
00:41:36,972 --> 00:41:38,626
also going through some stuff...
861
00:41:40,323 --> 00:41:41,499
How bad is Nicole?
862
00:41:42,891 --> 00:41:45,764
She was alone
for a really long time.
863
00:41:48,984 --> 00:41:50,508
Well, thanks for taking care
of my friend,
864
00:41:50,551 --> 00:41:51,683
Rachel Valdez.
865
00:41:53,075 --> 00:41:56,078
Thank you for noticing,
Wynonna Earp.
866
00:41:56,122 --> 00:41:57,689
Oh, the Earp heir.
867
00:42:04,913 --> 00:42:06,393
Listen. My bed, yeah.
868
00:42:06,436 --> 00:42:09,091
My leather pants, no.
869
00:42:09,135 --> 00:42:10,745
Pfft, please.
870
00:42:10,789 --> 00:42:12,747
I wouldn't be seen wearing these
in front of the skunks I milk.
871
00:42:15,228 --> 00:42:17,491
Your fringed leather jacket,
though...
872
00:42:19,493 --> 00:42:21,234
Don't push your luck,
Smalldez.
873
00:42:22,975 --> 00:42:24,542
-Good night.
-Good night, Wynonna.
874
00:42:33,202 --> 00:42:35,553
-Hello, chaps!
-Hands up.
875
00:42:36,554 --> 00:42:38,643
Like I said:
so good to be home.
60640
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
