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1
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First of all,
2
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i want to thank
everybody for coming.
3
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Giving up your lunch hours
and all that.
4
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,030
And, lord knows,
very exciting for all of us.
5
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,031
Happy to be here.
6
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,032
Oh, me, too.
7
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,034
Absolutely. And let's just
get our hands right into it.
8
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,035
Who wants to start us off?
9
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,537
I'll be
happy to start.
10
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,038
You know what? Gwen,
why don't you start us off?
11
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,039
Ok. Sure...
12
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,040
you don't need
the pointer here, do you?
13
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,542
No. I don't need
the pointer. Thanks.
14
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:42,543
I'll just hold on
to it, then.
15
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,544
Oh, she's fine. Gwen?
16
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,045
There is
a concern that i have
17
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,547
that i think
needs addressing
18
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,549
is that we can't have
the port-a-potties
19
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,050
too far off
the main route,
20
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,552
because we do have
a lot of seniors.
21
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,554
Uh, we've solved that.
22
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,055
We're gonna take
the port-a-potties
23
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,557
and put 'em
right over here.
24
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,058
They're not gonna
be in the way.
25
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,560
We're gonna
put a receptacle
26
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,061
over near
arts and crafts.
27
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,063
This is the big bins
you're talking about?
28
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,565
We've got barrels, too.
29
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,567
And we're gonna put
the barrels on every corner.
30
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,068
Wait a minute.
That's... that's the crate?
31
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,570
That's the big
barrel, 'cause you got
32
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,572
the pie-eating going on
right over here.
33
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,073
It's more of a dumpster
than a barrel.
34
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,074
That's another thing.
If anything happens
35
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,576
like last year
with that pie-eating...
36
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:19,079
which brings me
to a point... security.
37
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,080
Oh, god.
38
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,584
Security. I say
we put a rifle on here,
39
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,587
a man with a rifle here,
and a rifle here.
40
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,588
Protect the whole square.
41
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,589
Is that really
necessary?
42
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,091
Yes. Remember how much
we got egged last year?
43
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,092
Absolutely.
44
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,595
What can i tell you?
We're pleased as punch.
45
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,597
We... we are so proud.
46
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,599
We know that
whatever we do here
47
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,601
is a first for blaine
and a first for missouri,
48
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,603
that whatever we do
is going to be the standard
49
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:46,106
against which all other
sesquicentennials...
50
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,109
that's the 150...
will be judged.
51
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:52,112
The people of blaine
are can-do people.
52
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,614
In fact, you know, there's
an old saying in missouri
53
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,617
if you don't like the weather,
just wait 5 minutes.
54
00:01:56,617 --> 00:02:00,621
In blaine, i honestly
believe with hard work,
55
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,623
we can get that down
to 3 or 4 minutes.
56
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,042
Here in our
sesquicentennial year,
57
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,543
we've got a lot
to talk about.
58
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,045
There's a lot
to be proud of.
59
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:09,546
And we're very proud
of it,
60
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:10,547
and i think it's about time
61
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,049
that the world
knows more about blaine.
62
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,050
We're chomping at the bit,
63
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,052
certainly from this end,
to get it out there.
64
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:19,056
It all started
with blaine fabin.
65
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,058
He was hired by 30 settlers
66
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:24,061
to lead a wagon-train expedition
from philadelphia to california.
67
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,562
Uh, on the 14th night,
68
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,065
word has it they were
sitting around the campfire,
69
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,567
and blaine said,
"do you smell it?
70
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,569
Do you smell the salt
in the air?"
71
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,571
He said, "we're here.
I brought you to california."
72
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,573
And so there was
a big party that night.
73
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:39,076
And the next morning,
they got up. Uh...
74
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,577
they didn't see the ocean
75
00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:43,080
because they were in missouri.
76
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,583
Uh, blaine was able to convince
them for a little while
77
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,085
that it was just low tide
and things,
78
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,587
but what had happened was
that he had made some mistakes.
79
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,590
Bad weather. Wasrt familiar,
perhaps, with the proper route.
80
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,591
But as it turns out,
81
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,593
everybody was quite happy
to be where they were.
82
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:58,595
So they said, "it's ok we didn't
make it to california.
83
00:02:58,595 --> 00:02:59,596
We'll stay here."
84
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,099
And that's why
i'm at this desk.
85
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:05,602
Well, i'm very proud to say
that i'm a direct descendant
86
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:06,603
of blaine fabin.
87
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:09,106
I've lived here all my life.
88
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,608
As did my parents
and their parents
89
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,610
and their parents
and their parents
90
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,112
and so on and so forth.
91
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:18,115
I'm very excited about
the show coming up,
92
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,117
because it'll be
the first time
93
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:23,620
i'll have the experience
of sitting in the audience
94
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:28,125
and seeing actors portray
my ancestor...
95
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:31,128
the... the actual
blaine fabin.
96
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:34,631
Being a fabin
is not always easy.
97
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:38,635
Um, i can certainly understand
how the kennedys feel.
98
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:42,139
I had been
living in new york
99
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,641
and working there
as an actor and director
100
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:47,144
and choreographer
for 25 years or so,
101
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:49,646
and i really felt
i needed a change.
102
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,149
I imagined, in my fantasy,
i suppose,
103
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,651
that when i came here,
104
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,154
i would have a completely
different life.
105
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,157
Uh, perhaps, um...
106
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,658
a construction worker
107
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,160
or one of those guys
108
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:07,164
that works on those
high-wire things that, uh...
109
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,165
with the hard hat.
110
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,667
You know,
that sweeping sort of hat.
111
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,170
And, uh, with the chaps.
112
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,672
But that didn't really
work out.
113
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:17,674
I began to realize, i guess,
114
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,177
that the theater
was still in my blood,
115
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:23,180
and what i had to do was
make use of that,
116
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:27,184
so i offered my services
to the high school here,
117
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,685
and they accepted,
118
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,687
and i began to teach drama.
119
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,689
And within about 6 months,
120
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,192
i had formed
the blaine community players.
121
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:36,193
I got to tell you,
122
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,195
we are very, very excited
about the big show
123
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,697
that's happening
at the end of the festival.
124
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,200
Everyone right now
is just going crazy
125
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,701
getting ready to audition.
126
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,204
And unfortunately
i won't be able to audition.
127
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:50,207
We have to stock that day
and can't get out of it.
128
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:53,710
And corky will not let me
audition any other time.
129
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,712
So, "that's show business,"
is what he told me,
130
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,215
and, uh, you know,
he's the master.
131
00:04:58,215 --> 00:04:59,716
You gotta give him credit
for that.
132
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,718
President mckinley
did a whistle-stop tour
133
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,720
back in 1898.
134
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,722
And a little boy,
jimmy mcbean,
135
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:07,224
made a stool for him.
136
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,726
And he loved it so much
that he called back,
137
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,728
and said, "lookit, i would
like to give more of these
138
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,730
to dignitaries
who are visiting."
139
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,232
And before you knew it,
140
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:19,236
blaine is manufacturing
all these footstools.
141
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,238
And that's how the big...
142
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,740
that's how we got
the stool boom.
143
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:27,744
Blaine became the stool capital
of the world.
144
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,872
My first show
wasbarefoot in the park,
145
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:32,374
which was an absolute smash,
146
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,877
but my production
on the stage ofbackdraft
147
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,879
was what really
got them excited.
148
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:40,883
This whole idea of
in-your-face theater
149
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:42,885
really affected them.
150
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:45,387
The conceptualization,
the whole abstraction,
151
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:47,890
the obtuseness
of this production to me
152
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,391
was what was interesting.
153
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:53,896
I wanted the audience
to feel the heat from the fire,
154
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:57,399
the fear... because people
don't like fire poked,
155
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,401
poked in their noses.
156
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:00,903
You know, when you get
a cinder from barbecue
157
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:01,904
right on the end
of your nose
158
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,406
and you kind of make
that little face.
159
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,908
That's not a good thing.
160
00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:08,410
I wanted to have
the sense memory of that.
161
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,913
So during the show,
162
00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:12,414
i had someone
burn newspapers
163
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:15,417
and... and send it through
the vents in the theater.
164
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,419
Well, they freaked out.
165
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,922
Of course, the fire marshal
came over,
166
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:22,424
and they shut us down
for a couple of days.
167
00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:23,926
Mr. Bluestein,
168
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:25,928
montezuma's revenge
is nothing more
169
00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:28,931
than good old-fashioned
american diarrhea.
170
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:29,932
Adult diapers
171
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:32,434
should never even
enter the picture.
172
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:35,938
So you lose
a few pounds.
173
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:37,940
My mom used to say
that blaine
174
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,942
is a little town
with a big heart
175
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:42,444
in the heart
of a big country.
176
00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:44,446
And, to me, blaine
is a kind of town
177
00:06:44,947 --> 00:06:48,450
where i can have
my own business,
178
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:51,453
meet and marry a wonderful
woman like sheila,
179
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:54,957
and... and be something,
be somebody.
180
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:56,959
Some people
find it ironical
181
00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,460
that even though
we run a travel agency,
182
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,963
we've never been
outside of blaine.
183
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:02,464
With one exception.
184
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,466
Well, we've never
been out...
185
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,968
you left blaine.
186
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,970
Well, i went
to jefferson city once.
187
00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:08,971
It was a...
188
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:09,972
tell them why.
189
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,474
It was a medical reason.
190
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,477
You can tell 'em.
191
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:18,480
Just minor surgery.
192
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,986
I've been
working here at the d.q.
193
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,988
For about, um...
194
00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:31,493
8 months, 7.
195
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,495
I don't know.
Something like that.
196
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,997
It's fun.
197
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:37,499
You just do the cones.
198
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:40,502
Make sundaes,
make blizzards, and...
199
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:42,004
put stuff on 'em and...
200
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,506
see a lot of people come in.
201
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,508
A lot of people
come to the d.q.
202
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:49,511
Burgers. Ice cream.
203
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:52,514
Anything, you know?
204
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:55,017
Cokes. Just drive in
and get a coke,
205
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:57,519
if you're thirsty.
206
00:07:57,519 --> 00:08:00,522
Everybody thinks that roswell
was the first sighting
207
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,524
of a ufo
in the united states,
208
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,026
and that's bull roar.
209
00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:06,528
We had the first sighting
here in 1946.
210
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,031
And it wasrt just a sighting.
They didn't just fly by.
211
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:11,033
They stopped. They landed.
212
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,035
The people in blaine
went onboard the ship
213
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,037
for a potluck dinner.
214
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:18,040
I've been coming out
to this landing site
215
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,042
every day for 2 years
216
00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:22,044
to measure it.
217
00:08:22,044 --> 00:08:24,046
And here's the thing...
218
00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:27,549
the circumference
and the diameter change
219
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:28,550
by a few inches,
220
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:31,553
yet the radius
remains the same.
221
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,555
Which brings me back
to the number 5.
222
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:37,059
There are 5 letters
in the name "blaine."
223
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,561
Mix the word "blaine" up,
mix it around,
224
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,064
eventually,
you'll get "nebali."
225
00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:45,067
Neball...
the name of the planet
226
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:48,070
in a galaxy way, way...
227
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,072
way... far away.
228
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:51,573
I'll tell you another thing.
229
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,075
Once you step inside
this circle,
230
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:56,578
The weather never changes.
231
00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:59,581
It is always 67 degrees
232
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,084
with a 40% chance of rain.
233
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,085
Always.
234
00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:06,088
L... i love
to make people laugh,
235
00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,590
and i've been doing it
since...
236
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:09,591
you know, school.
237
00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:12,094
People ask me,
"were you a..."
238
00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:16,098
you know, "you must have been
the class clown."
239
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:20,102
And i say, uh,
"no, i wasrt."
240
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,104
But i sat beside
the class clown,
241
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,606
and I... i studied him,
242
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:28,110
and, uh, and saw
how he made people laugh.
243
00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:31,113
And so i picked some things up,
and, uh, you know,
244
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,115
and at parties
and family functions,
245
00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:37,119
i have to say, i love,
you know, breaking people up.
246
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:40,122
So, there's a thing
that i think i got...
247
00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:43,125
a... a... an entertaining bug
248
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:46,628
from my grandfather, uh,
chaim progot
249
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:50,632
who was very, very big
in the yiddish theater
250
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:51,633
back in new york.
251
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:56,638
He was in the... the very...
the sardonically irreverent
252
00:09:56,638 --> 00:10:00,642
I said more ham.
253
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:03,645
And that revue,
i believe, was 1914,
254
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:07,149
and that revue
is what made him famous.
255
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:11,153
Incidentally, the song
bubbee made a kishke
256
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,654
came from that revue.
257
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:15,157
My... my father, bless him,
258
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:17,159
brought me
into... into the business.
259
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:20,662
This was his dental practice,
uh, before,
260
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,664
and i joke with my wife
that, uh, you know,
261
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:25,167
at that point,
that's when the, uh,
262
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:28,670
the money
started rolling in.
263
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,173
You know.
264
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:34,676
Brave making m-more wampum
265
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,678
to buy pelts.
266
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:42,684
One happy squaw in wigwam.
267
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,686
Happy as mongoose.
268
00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:48,190
That, uh...
269
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:51,193
is, of course,
from johnny carson who, uh...
270
00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:53,695
one of my heroes
in a very funny bit.
271
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:58,367
When i see lips
waiting to be kissed
272
00:10:58,367 --> 00:10:59,868
I can't stop
273
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,370
I can't stop
274
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,873
For that lightning,
oh, it's striking
275
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:06,875
Again
276
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:08,377
Yeah
277
00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:12,381
Lightning's striking
278
00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:15,384
Again and
again and again and
279
00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:23,392
I'm going to do a scene
from the movieraging bull.
280
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,396
You fucked my wife?
281
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,398
What?
282
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:30,899
You fucked my wife?
283
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,402
How can you ask me
a question like that?
284
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:34,903
How can you ask me?
285
00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,405
I'm your brother
and you ask me that?
286
00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:38,407
Where do you get the balls
big enough to ask me that?
287
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:41,910
Basically for
the last 15 years,
288
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,413
i have been
the music teacher
289
00:11:44,413 --> 00:11:46,915
at blaine high,
290
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,418
um, and part of my job,
291
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:51,420
and a very
important part
292
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,422
is to put on a show
every year,
293
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:55,424
which i have done
completely by myself.
294
00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:58,427
This year it's going
to be different
295
00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:01,930
because corky,
being from new york,
296
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,432
being a professional
297
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:08,937
and having put on some very
theatrical productions here,
298
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:14,443
uh, is going to be
directing the show this year
299
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:17,446
and i'm going to be
the musical director,
300
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:18,947
which is different for me.
301
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,453
Teacher's pet
302
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:28,957
I wanna be teacher's pet
303
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:32,461
I want to be
huddled and cuddled
304
00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:35,464
And close to you
as i can get
305
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,469
Teacher's pride
306
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:44,473
I wanna be teacher's pride
307
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,982
Dr. Pearl! How are you?
Ron albertson.
308
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,484
Yes, ron.
309
00:12:55,484 --> 00:12:56,985
My wife sheila.
310
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,987
You remember her
from previous bills.
311
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:00,489
Hello, sheila.
312
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:01,490
What are you
doing here?
313
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:04,493
I'm here, you know,
trying out for the big show.
314
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:05,494
Congratulations.
315
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:06,995
No, why are you
here really?
316
00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:10,999
I'm... i told my wife
i'd come out for this show.
317
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,001
You know, i thought
i'd give it a shot.
318
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,503
Give it your best shot,
319
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:16,004
which won't be the first
shot you ever gave.
320
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,006
Hope it doesn't leave corky
numb like most of them.
321
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,509
It's like pulling teeth
to get a discount from him.
322
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:23,011
Why don't you give some
caramels to the little girl?
323
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,513
Future customers and all.
324
00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:26,014
So
325
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:29,017
I can be teacher's pet
326
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:32,020
Long after
school is through
327
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:35,023
Teacher, teacher,
i love you
328
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,025
Whoa!
329
00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:43,031
High
330
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,533
Ahem. Maybe just...
331
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:47,035
ahhh. Mmm.
332
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:51,039
I dream of jeanie
333
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:55,544
With
the light brown hair
334
00:13:55,544 --> 00:14:00,048
Floating like a vapor
335
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:04,553
On the soft summer air
336
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,554
Look out!
337
00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:07,556
Camptown races
sing this song
338
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,558
Doo-dah, doo-dah
339
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,560
Camptown racetrack
5 miles long
340
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,562
Oh, doo-dah day
341
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,063
Gwine to run all night
342
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,566
Gwine to run all day
343
00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,568
Bet my money
on the bob-tail nag
344
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,069
?
Somebody bet on the bay?
345
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:24,573
Bay, bay, bay
346
00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:29,578
Way down
upon the swannee ribber
347
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:40,088
Floating like
348
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,591
A vapor
349
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:47,095
On the soft summer
350
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:54,603
Air
351
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:58,607
Air
352
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:02,110
That was...
very nice.
353
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,111
Very good.
Very good.
354
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,613
Well, thank you,
dr. Pearl.
355
00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:06,615
Well, thank you very much.
356
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,116
We'll let you know.
357
00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,118
Very good.
358
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,620
Thank you.
359
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:14,122
Thank you.
360
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,625
He can
actually sing.
361
00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:18,627
He's good.
wow.
362
00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,629
The albertsons?
363
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,641
Ding-dong.
364
00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:34,142
Oh!
365
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,645
I wonder who knows i'm
vacationing here at the oasis.
366
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:40,148
Am i late?
367
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,149
You!
368
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,150
Surprised?
369
00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:43,652
How did you find me?
370
00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:45,654
I have my ways.
371
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:48,156
Would you like to
come in for coffee?
372
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:51,660
You don't need to answer
373
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,663
There's no need
to speak
374
00:15:56,665 --> 00:16:00,169
I'll be
your belly dancer
375
00:16:00,169 --> 00:16:02,171
Prancer
376
00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:05,674
And i will be
your sheik
377
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:09,678
I don't need
a harem, honey
378
00:16:10,179 --> 00:16:12,181
When you're
by my side
379
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:16,685
And you won't
need a camel
380
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,687
No, no
381
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:21,190
When i take
you for a ride
382
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:24,193
We'll need some coffee to go
with that ride, won't we?
383
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:27,196
You're always
full of surprises.
384
00:16:27,196 --> 00:16:28,697
But, say, i wonder,
385
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:29,698
do we have time
for that coffee?
386
00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:31,200
What time is it?
387
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,701
What time is it? Havert
you been paying attention?
388
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:33,702
It's
389
00:16:34,203 --> 00:16:39,208
Midnight at the oasis
390
00:16:39,208 --> 00:16:41,710
Thank you.
Oh... good.
391
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,712
That was great.
392
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:44,713
Really good.
393
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:46,715
Thanks a lot.
394
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,217
Thanks for coming.
395
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:50,219
Should we leave the...?
396
00:16:50,219 --> 00:16:52,221
Why don't you
put that back there?
397
00:16:52,221 --> 00:16:53,722
Yeah.
Strike it?
398
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,724
We've done a few shows
for corky before,
399
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:56,725
so we know all
the terms going in.
400
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:57,726
Thank you.
401
00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,228
Thanks so much.
It was really fun.
402
00:16:59,228 --> 00:17:00,229
Thank you.
403
00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:02,231
Thank you.
404
00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:03,732
Wow.
405
00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:06,610
I'm feeling good
406
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,612
about where we stand now
with our cast.
407
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:14,618
I think that the elements,
as dr. Watson said to sherlock,
408
00:17:14,618 --> 00:17:16,620
"are coming together, sir."
409
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:19,623
I'm very excited
about ron and sheila,
410
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:22,125
the old standbys,
the work horses.
411
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,127
I call them
the lunts of blaine.
412
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:27,130
Allan pearl. Interesting.
How do these...
413
00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:28,632
where do they come from?
414
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:30,634
Sure, i'd seen him around.
415
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:32,636
It would never have occurred
to me to walk up
416
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:36,640
to the dentist and say,
"are you interested in this?"
417
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:40,644
But i was shopping
for my wife bonnie...
418
00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:43,647
i buy most of her clothes...
419
00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:48,151
and mrs. Pearl
was in the same shop.
420
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,654
And it just was an accident.
421
00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:54,157
We started talking
about pantyhose.
422
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:57,661
She was saying... that's not
the point of the story,
423
00:17:57,661 --> 00:18:00,664
but what the point is
was that through
424
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:03,166
this accidental meeting,
it's like, you know,
425
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,668
it's like
a hitchcock movie
426
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:06,670
where you're thrown
into a rubber bag
427
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:10,674
and put in
the trunk of a car.
428
00:18:11,175 --> 00:18:14,678
You find people.
You find them.
429
00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:17,681
Something. Is it karma?
430
00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,683
Maybe.
431
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:22,686
But we found him,
that's the important thing.
432
00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:25,689
And i got bonnie
a wonderful pants suit.
433
00:18:26,190 --> 00:18:28,692
They took me off
into a separate room.
434
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:30,194
I seen 'em taking
different people off.
435
00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:32,696
Different ones of us off
in separate rooms.
436
00:18:33,197 --> 00:18:35,699
They put me on
a big white table
437
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:38,202
and, uh, the guy
that take me there,
438
00:18:38,202 --> 00:18:42,206
the one of them that took me
in there to examine me,
439
00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:43,707
he probed me.
440
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:46,710
I was in there i bet
more than 3 or 4 hours,
441
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,712
in that room being probed.
442
00:18:49,213 --> 00:18:50,714
And at one time or another,
443
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,217
there's different
ones of them come in,
444
00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:54,218
4, 5, 6 of them
at different times,
445
00:18:54,718 --> 00:18:56,220
and all of them probed me.
446
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,723
Not all at once, you know.
Individually.
447
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:03,727
Later on, years later,
now even still,
448
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,729
it's a funny thing.
449
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,731
It happened on a sunday,
450
00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:09,233
and every sunday
about the time
451
00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:12,736
that i was taken
onboard that ship,
452
00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:16,240
i find i have
no feelings in my buttocks.
453
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,742
Casting a show is really
454
00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:21,745
only the beginning
of the process.
455
00:19:21,745 --> 00:19:24,748
There's also
the whole design concept,
456
00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:27,251
what fabrics will work
for the costumes,
457
00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:28,752
the lighting,
458
00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:32,256
and it really becomes
a wrasslir match, i guess,
459
00:19:32,256 --> 00:19:35,259
between me
and the muse of theater,
460
00:19:35,259 --> 00:19:37,761
and most of all, dance.
461
00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:57,573
I'd like you
to close your eyes now,
462
00:19:57,573 --> 00:19:59,575
and i'd like you to try
something, all right?
463
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,577
Now, what are you thinking,
464
00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:04,580
what are you feeling right now
with your eyes closed?
465
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:08,584
I feel a bree... you're
blowing in my ear.
466
00:20:08,584 --> 00:20:11,086
All right, but, see,
you jumped to a conclusion.
467
00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:12,087
Oh.
468
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:14,089
See, what i'm asking for is
469
00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:16,592
your first feeling was not
that i was blowing on you,
470
00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:19,094
it was more like...
471
00:20:19,595 --> 00:20:24,099
virgin isles or
bahamanian or arubian.
472
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:25,100
Yes.
473
00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:27,102
Yeah, he's at his rehearsal.
474
00:20:27,102 --> 00:20:28,604
He's at his first rehearsal.
475
00:20:28,604 --> 00:20:30,105
I don't know
what they're doing
476
00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:32,107
'cause i never been
to one before,
477
00:20:32,608 --> 00:20:35,611
but i bet they're introducing
themselves to each other.
478
00:20:35,611 --> 00:20:37,613
You know, it's gonna be nice
479
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:39,615
to meet
some of these new folks,
480
00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:44,119
'cause we don't socialize
with the creative types.
481
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,622
We got our scrabble club
and stuff,
482
00:20:46,622 --> 00:20:49,124
and, um, you know,
483
00:20:49,124 --> 00:20:51,627
and other people
with babies.
484
00:20:57,132 --> 00:20:58,133
Right. Good.
485
00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:01,136
Oh, the exercises
all mean something.
486
00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:03,639
Even if you don't know what.
487
00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:08,143
Dr. Pearl,
well, he'll come around,
488
00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:13,649
and he'll learn like ron and
sheila and i have learned
489
00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:15,150
that corky has a vision.
490
00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:21,156
Whoa! Whoa!
491
00:21:24,159 --> 00:21:25,160
Whoo!
492
00:21:27,162 --> 00:21:28,163
Oh!
493
00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:30,165
You!
Forget about it! Ha ha!
494
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:32,668
Ha ha! I went like this.
495
00:21:32,668 --> 00:21:35,170
Forget about it. Ha ha!
496
00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:36,672
With her it's ok,
497
00:21:36,672 --> 00:21:40,175
but with him,
he thought... ha ha!
498
00:21:41,677 --> 00:21:46,682
I, uh, i'm walking
on air, you know.
499
00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:49,685
This is a sensation
which is... forget it.
500
00:21:49,685 --> 00:21:52,187
When i became a dentist,
i thought i was happy,
501
00:21:52,187 --> 00:21:55,190
but this is... this is
making me nervous now,
502
00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:58,193
because i could have
wasted a lot of years.
503
00:21:58,694 --> 00:22:00,696
I must say
i was very shocked to see
504
00:22:00,696 --> 00:22:02,698
that dr. Pearl had
actually been cast.
505
00:22:02,698 --> 00:22:04,199
Then i thought...
506
00:22:04,199 --> 00:22:06,702
we're in a glamor profession,
being travel agents,
507
00:22:06,702 --> 00:22:09,204
and he isn't in
such a glamorous...
508
00:22:09,204 --> 00:22:11,206
one project,
we have to loosen him up.
509
00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:13,208
I have a feeling
he's a little tight.
510
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,210
Particularly when
he's around us probably.
511
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:16,211
I don't think
he'll mind jokes.
512
00:22:16,211 --> 00:22:17,212
You're intimidating,
ron...
513
00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:18,213
i can't help it.
514
00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:20,215
Because you have
so much experience.
515
00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:22,217
Ron is going to help
everyone act,
516
00:22:22,217 --> 00:22:24,720
'cause i know
ron gives me...
517
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,221
well, in all the productions
we've been in,
518
00:22:26,722 --> 00:22:28,223
and when we do scene studies
at home together,
519
00:22:28,724 --> 00:22:31,226
ron will have extensive,
520
00:22:31,727 --> 00:22:34,229
you know, hour, 2-hour
sessions of notes for me,
521
00:22:34,229 --> 00:22:35,230
and it's so helpful.
522
00:22:35,731 --> 00:22:36,732
It's notes
for both of us.
523
00:22:36,732 --> 00:22:38,233
No, but lately...
524
00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:39,234
you get most of them.
525
00:22:39,735 --> 00:22:41,236
He's trying to help me
to change my instincts
526
00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:42,613
or at least ignore them.
527
00:22:44,114 --> 00:22:47,117
Listen,
let me tell you why i'm here.
528
00:22:47,117 --> 00:22:50,120
We're doing a show.
I won't beat around the bush.
529
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:51,121
We're doing a show
that i've written
530
00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:54,124
about the 150th anniversary
of blaine,
531
00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:55,626
and i know
you're an old blainian.
532
00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:57,127
Yes?
533
00:22:57,127 --> 00:23:00,130
And you're really right
for one of the parts.
534
00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:03,133
It's the narrator
in the show.
535
00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:04,635
One of the actor parts?
536
00:23:04,635 --> 00:23:05,636
Yeah.
537
00:23:05,636 --> 00:23:06,637
Oh, i don't know.
538
00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:09,139
I've heard... i think
you're being modest
539
00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:11,141
because i've heard
you've had some history
540
00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:12,142
in show business.
541
00:23:12,142 --> 00:23:16,146
Well, you know i did have,
i had a hankering
542
00:23:16,146 --> 00:23:18,649
to be an actor
when i was a young fella,
543
00:23:18,649 --> 00:23:20,150
when i got out of
the coast guard,
544
00:23:20,651 --> 00:23:23,153
but i went to taxidermy
school instead.
545
00:23:23,153 --> 00:23:24,655
Well, i took
a correspondence course.
546
00:23:25,155 --> 00:23:25,656
Uh-huh.
547
00:23:26,156 --> 00:23:27,658
I'll tell you something,
mr. Wooley,
548
00:23:27,658 --> 00:23:31,662
what i'm looking for
in my shows are actors
549
00:23:31,662 --> 00:23:34,164
and people that are
willing to work hard.
550
00:23:34,665 --> 00:23:38,168
Well, yeah, i'm a hard worker
as you can see.
551
00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:40,671
I love all the work
you've done.
552
00:23:40,671 --> 00:23:45,175
That's a little gun rack
made out of deer hooves.
553
00:23:45,175 --> 00:23:46,176
Oh, yeah.
554
00:23:46,176 --> 00:23:48,679
Boy, i didn't know
deers could do that.
555
00:23:53,183 --> 00:23:55,686
I know this
comes out of left field,
556
00:23:55,686 --> 00:23:57,187
but i'm looking
for another actor.
557
00:23:57,187 --> 00:24:00,190
And i was wondering
if you had any interest
558
00:24:00,190 --> 00:24:02,693
in participating
in the show.
559
00:24:02,693 --> 00:24:04,194
Does that appeal to you
in any way?
560
00:24:04,194 --> 00:24:06,697
I'm not much of an actor,
i'm sorry.
561
00:24:07,197 --> 00:24:09,700
I've never done that,
anything like that before.
562
00:24:09,700 --> 00:24:11,702
Uh-huh.
Ok, fair enough,
563
00:24:12,202 --> 00:24:14,204
but it might be
interesting, you know,
564
00:24:14,204 --> 00:24:16,707
after, uh...
do you get off tonight?
565
00:24:16,707 --> 00:24:18,208
What time do you
get off tonight?
566
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:20,210
Well, i get off at 8:00.
567
00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:21,712
At 8:00 tonight?
Yeah.
568
00:24:22,212 --> 00:24:24,214
Really? That's...
that's a long day.
569
00:24:24,214 --> 00:24:25,215
Yeah.
570
00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:27,217
Hey, dad,
this is, uh, mr...
571
00:24:27,217 --> 00:24:28,719
st. Clair.
St. Clair.
572
00:24:28,719 --> 00:24:29,720
He's a drama guy.
573
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,222
Yeah, and, um, at 8:00
you're off, though?
574
00:24:32,222 --> 00:24:33,724
Right.
Yeah.
575
00:24:33,724 --> 00:24:36,226
I have to tell you i'm not
much of an actor or singer.
576
00:24:36,226 --> 00:24:37,728
Well, you know what?
577
00:24:37,728 --> 00:24:39,229
That's what
charles laughton said.
578
00:24:39,229 --> 00:24:41,231
You know?
And look what happened.
579
00:24:41,231 --> 00:24:44,735
Did you change the fan belt
on that blue chevy?
580
00:24:45,235 --> 00:24:46,737
No, i haven't
done that yet.
581
00:24:46,737 --> 00:24:49,740
When you get done here,
will you get on that?
582
00:24:49,740 --> 00:24:50,741
Yeah.
583
00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:53,744
Um, so,
how tall are you?
584
00:24:54,244 --> 00:24:54,745
6'2".
585
00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:56,246
Really?
Mm-hmm.
586
00:24:56,246 --> 00:24:57,247
Wow.
587
00:24:59,750 --> 00:25:02,711
It's all the same
588
00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:05,214
When we say, "nothing
ever happens in blaine,"
589
00:25:05,714 --> 00:25:10,219
could we try you two
singing "blaine,"
590
00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:13,222
where we really hear
the "ne" at the end.
591
00:25:13,222 --> 00:25:16,725
And you guys just go,
"nothing ever happens in blai."
592
00:25:16,725 --> 00:25:18,727
Don't say the "ne."
They say the nes.
593
00:25:18,727 --> 00:25:20,229
And the same thing...
"nothing ever happens,
594
00:25:20,229 --> 00:25:22,231
it's all the same."
595
00:25:22,231 --> 00:25:24,233
And you sing,
"it's all the sa."
596
00:25:24,233 --> 00:25:25,734
Let's try it once,
ok, jean?
597
00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:27,736
1, 2, 3, and...
598
00:25:27,736 --> 00:25:30,239
i know it's hard
to jump into this,
599
00:25:30,239 --> 00:25:32,241
because it must seem
like a, you know...
600
00:25:32,241 --> 00:25:33,742
a new world,
601
00:25:33,742 --> 00:25:35,744
but we're gonna
ease you into it.
602
00:25:35,744 --> 00:25:37,246
And if you ever
have any questions,
603
00:25:37,746 --> 00:25:40,249
you can always call me up.
I'll give you my...
604
00:25:40,249 --> 00:25:41,250
i have a private number.
605
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:43,252
It's not listed,
so don't lose it.
606
00:25:43,252 --> 00:25:45,754
And do not give it out
to... to anyone.
607
00:25:46,255 --> 00:25:49,758
"How high a ridge,
i could not tell,
608
00:25:50,259 --> 00:25:52,761
for the sun,
the sun has..."
609
00:25:52,761 --> 00:25:54,263
not pinching your shirt.
610
00:25:54,263 --> 00:25:56,265
I want, you see...
hook in those thumbs.
611
00:25:56,765 --> 00:25:57,766
Thumbs?
612
00:25:57,766 --> 00:26:00,269
Yeah, there you go.
613
00:26:00,269 --> 00:26:02,771
Yeah.
Just... that's right.
614
00:26:02,771 --> 00:26:05,274
"How high a ridge,
i could not tell..."
615
00:26:05,774 --> 00:26:07,276
see what's happening
with your voice already?
616
00:26:07,276 --> 00:26:10,279
'Cause it's almost as if you're
squeezing your boobies out,
617
00:26:10,279 --> 00:26:12,781
and it's... it's going to be
going out into that audience.
618
00:26:12,781 --> 00:26:14,283
Pushing it
right out there.
619
00:26:14,283 --> 00:26:15,784
I could try a "how."
620
00:26:15,784 --> 00:26:20,289
"How... how high a ridge,
i could not tell..."
621
00:26:29,298 --> 00:26:31,300
Keep in time.
622
00:26:31,300 --> 00:26:33,302
Ok.
623
00:26:33,302 --> 00:26:34,803
Right.
624
00:26:34,803 --> 00:26:35,804
Robin in the nest.
625
00:26:35,804 --> 00:26:37,806
Ok.
626
00:26:38,307 --> 00:26:39,308
Right.
627
00:26:39,308 --> 00:26:40,809
Good.
628
00:26:41,310 --> 00:26:42,311
This'll dominate the show.
629
00:26:45,314 --> 00:26:47,316
By the pool
630
00:26:47,316 --> 00:26:49,818
In the school
by the fires of yule
631
00:26:49,818 --> 00:26:51,820
It's the rule
632
00:26:51,820 --> 00:26:54,323
There's a stool,
there's a stool
633
00:26:54,323 --> 00:26:55,824
Stools are where
634
00:26:56,325 --> 00:26:58,827
Once upon a time
you'd find a chair
635
00:26:58,827 --> 00:27:00,829
A chair's for fools
636
00:27:00,829 --> 00:27:03,332
Everybody wants stools
637
00:27:03,332 --> 00:27:05,334
Stool boom
638
00:27:05,334 --> 00:27:08,337
From the parlor
to the pool room
639
00:27:08,337 --> 00:27:11,340
?
Everyone knows our name?
640
00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:12,841
Whose script
is that?
641
00:27:12,841 --> 00:27:14,343
Stool...
Oh, sorry.
642
00:27:14,343 --> 00:27:15,844
No, drool.
643
00:27:15,844 --> 00:27:17,346
You will...
Oh, they're gonna be...
644
00:27:17,346 --> 00:27:18,347
Never stopping
645
00:27:18,347 --> 00:27:19,848
Never breathing,
working
646
00:27:23,352 --> 00:27:26,355
I don't want to interfere,
647
00:27:26,355 --> 00:27:29,358
but i think it would be...
648
00:27:30,859 --> 00:27:33,362
i think we have
to work on...
649
00:27:33,362 --> 00:27:34,363
i can't hear you.
650
00:27:34,363 --> 00:27:37,866
I think we have to work on
the music a little bit more.
651
00:27:37,866 --> 00:27:38,867
Fine.
652
00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:41,370
But i don't want
to make trouble, so...
653
00:27:41,370 --> 00:27:43,372
and i don't
really want to do this
654
00:27:43,372 --> 00:27:45,374
in front of them,
but i think...
655
00:27:45,374 --> 00:27:47,376
where do you
want to do it?
656
00:27:47,376 --> 00:27:51,380
Well, i think we have to
sit down and make a schedule
657
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,383
that includes
some... some music time,
658
00:27:54,383 --> 00:27:57,886
'cause i think jean and i
have to work...
659
00:27:58,387 --> 00:27:59,888
why are you whispering?
660
00:27:59,888 --> 00:28:01,890
I'm right here,
you know? I don't...
661
00:28:02,391 --> 00:28:03,392
oh, i'm sorry.
662
00:28:03,392 --> 00:28:06,395
Do you want me
to talk louder?
663
00:28:06,395 --> 00:28:09,398
Because i think
that it would be...
664
00:28:09,398 --> 00:28:10,899
well,
now it's too loud.
665
00:28:10,899 --> 00:28:13,902
You know, just talk like
a normal person, ok?
666
00:28:13,902 --> 00:28:16,905
I think what they
were doing was good.
667
00:28:16,905 --> 00:28:18,407
To me, you rehearse,
you rehearse.
668
00:28:18,907 --> 00:28:20,909
You get it perfect. You know
exactly what you're doing.
669
00:28:21,410 --> 00:28:21,910
And then what?
670
00:28:22,411 --> 00:28:23,412
And then you
forget about it.
671
00:28:23,412 --> 00:28:24,413
Let me pinpoint you.
672
00:28:24,413 --> 00:28:25,914
You said they learn it,
they forget it,
673
00:28:26,415 --> 00:28:27,416
and that's ok?
674
00:28:27,416 --> 00:28:28,917
That's f... great.
675
00:28:28,917 --> 00:28:29,918
Well,
they've forgotten it...
676
00:28:29,918 --> 00:28:32,421
but they never learned it.
So when did they learn it?
677
00:28:32,421 --> 00:28:33,922
I'm just saying,
when do we have the time...
678
00:28:33,922 --> 00:28:34,923
but what i'm saying is,
679
00:28:34,923 --> 00:28:36,425
if they're gonna
forget it anyway,
680
00:28:36,425 --> 00:28:37,926
then what difference
does it make?
681
00:28:37,926 --> 00:28:40,929
You see what i mean?
It's like one of those...
682
00:28:40,929 --> 00:28:42,931
it's like a...
it's a zen thing.
683
00:28:42,931 --> 00:28:45,434
It's like, you know...
you know,
684
00:28:45,434 --> 00:28:47,436
how many babies,
you know, fit
685
00:28:47,436 --> 00:28:48,937
in... in the tire thing?
686
00:28:49,438 --> 00:28:50,939
That whole...
the old joke, you know?
687
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,942
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
No, you have a point.
688
00:28:54,443 --> 00:28:55,944
Uh, it's, you know,
an interesting point.
689
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,323
And how'd you
find this place?
690
00:28:59,323 --> 00:29:01,825
Well,
we've... we've been, uh...
691
00:29:01,825 --> 00:29:03,327
coming here for many,
many years.
692
00:29:03,327 --> 00:29:04,828
Oh, yeah,
we come every thursday.
693
00:29:05,329 --> 00:29:07,831
Well, with the rehearsals,
you won't be able to now.
694
00:29:08,332 --> 00:29:08,832
This is true.
695
00:29:09,333 --> 00:29:09,833
You know, in china,
696
00:29:10,334 --> 00:29:11,335
they'll kill a monkey
at the table
697
00:29:11,835 --> 00:29:12,336
and split its head open,
698
00:29:12,836 --> 00:29:14,338
eat the brains
right out of it.
699
00:29:16,340 --> 00:29:17,841
We had friends...
ew.
700
00:29:18,342 --> 00:29:19,843
Barbara and bruce,
remember?
701
00:29:19,843 --> 00:29:21,345
Who went to, uh, china,
and i'm sure...
702
00:29:21,345 --> 00:29:22,846
you're in
the travel business...
703
00:29:22,846 --> 00:29:23,847
that you've been there,
704
00:29:23,847 --> 00:29:26,350
but they went to peking,
where they make the ducks,
705
00:29:26,350 --> 00:29:29,353
and what they say is
that the food over there
706
00:29:29,853 --> 00:29:30,854
is not as good...
707
00:29:30,854 --> 00:29:33,857
you can't get a sauce as
thick and sweet over there.
708
00:29:33,857 --> 00:29:34,858
They don't make it
like that.
709
00:29:34,858 --> 00:29:36,860
Their food is like
steamed or something.
710
00:29:36,860 --> 00:29:38,362
And they should've
called you, because...
711
00:29:38,362 --> 00:29:40,364
yeah, we got
some good packages.
712
00:29:40,364 --> 00:29:41,365
Incidentally, if you two
713
00:29:41,365 --> 00:29:42,866
ever want to get down
to miami, miami beach,
714
00:29:42,866 --> 00:29:45,369
we got a great package.
A week, 2 weeks.
715
00:29:45,869 --> 00:29:46,370
All expense... yeah.
716
00:29:46,870 --> 00:29:48,372
You get everything
you need,
717
00:29:48,372 --> 00:29:50,874
any kind of food
in blaine. You don't...
718
00:29:50,874 --> 00:29:52,376
you know,
you get chinese here.
719
00:29:52,376 --> 00:29:54,378
Uh, no need to go...
720
00:29:54,378 --> 00:29:55,879
we're talking about
miami now, dear.
721
00:29:55,879 --> 00:29:57,881
Yeah, we'd love to go.
We'd love to...
722
00:29:57,881 --> 00:29:58,882
is it a direct?
723
00:29:58,882 --> 00:29:59,883
A week, 2 weeks.
724
00:29:59,883 --> 00:30:01,385
Like there aren't
chinese people in miami.
725
00:30:01,885 --> 00:30:03,387
Well, we should.
You know, we've stopped...
726
00:30:03,387 --> 00:30:04,388
what does that have to do...
727
00:30:04,388 --> 00:30:05,889
of course there are
chinese people in miami.
728
00:30:05,889 --> 00:30:06,890
We're talking
about china now.
729
00:30:07,391 --> 00:30:08,392
I'm talking about
going to miami.
730
00:30:08,392 --> 00:30:09,893
Miami. We're talking
about miami now.
731
00:30:09,893 --> 00:30:11,895
Dear, why don't you put
some food on your stomach
732
00:30:11,895 --> 00:30:12,896
before you have
any more wine?
733
00:30:12,896 --> 00:30:14,898
What's it...
what's it...
734
00:30:14,898 --> 00:30:17,401
shh. Girl talk.
735
00:30:17,401 --> 00:30:20,404
What's it like to be
with a circumcised man?
736
00:30:20,904 --> 00:30:22,406
That is interesting.
737
00:30:22,406 --> 00:30:25,409
I'd ask you more about
that, but ron said...
738
00:30:25,409 --> 00:30:26,910
"that whole
jew thing's..."
739
00:30:26,910 --> 00:30:28,912
aah.
740
00:30:28,912 --> 00:30:30,914
'Cause when ron
had his surgery...
741
00:30:30,914 --> 00:30:31,915
all right, all right,
all right.
742
00:30:31,915 --> 00:30:33,417
When ron had
his surgery, i said,
743
00:30:33,417 --> 00:30:34,918
"hey, circumcise it
while you're at it."
744
00:30:35,419 --> 00:30:37,421
'Cause i had never been
with anyone else.
745
00:30:37,421 --> 00:30:39,423
Rors the only man
i've been with.
746
00:30:39,923 --> 00:30:41,925
Well, what surgery, uh...
did he have some major...
747
00:30:41,925 --> 00:30:43,927
nothing. I had a little
minor corrective surgery.
748
00:30:43,927 --> 00:30:45,429
Could we have some coffee
at this table, please?
749
00:30:45,429 --> 00:30:47,431
It's not minor anymore.
750
00:30:48,432 --> 00:30:49,933
Just...
751
00:30:49,933 --> 00:30:52,936
well, maybe, you know,
we should change the subject.
752
00:30:52,936 --> 00:30:56,440
I had what, you know,
most guys would, uh...
753
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:57,941
dream of, you know.
754
00:30:57,941 --> 00:31:01,445
And i had to have, uh,
penis-reduction surgery.
755
00:31:01,445 --> 00:31:02,446
I'm sorry?
756
00:31:02,446 --> 00:31:03,447
Penis reduction.
757
00:31:03,447 --> 00:31:04,948
Which there aren't many.
758
00:31:04,948 --> 00:31:05,949
You're gonna say,
"i never heard of that,"
759
00:31:06,450 --> 00:31:07,451
'cause there haven't
been many cases.
760
00:31:07,951 --> 00:31:09,453
I said,
"ron, do something."
761
00:31:09,453 --> 00:31:12,456
And he said, "why don't
you get one of those...
762
00:31:12,456 --> 00:31:13,457
vagina enlargements?"
763
00:31:13,457 --> 00:31:15,459
Oh, dear! Could we have
some coffee over here?
764
00:31:15,959 --> 00:31:17,461
Have you tried
the egg rolls?
765
00:31:17,461 --> 00:31:18,962
Unbelievable.
766
00:31:18,962 --> 00:31:20,464
Let me ask you something.
You're a medical man.
767
00:31:20,464 --> 00:31:21,465
Yes.
768
00:31:21,465 --> 00:31:23,467
I want to ask you
something. If you... you...
769
00:31:23,467 --> 00:31:26,470
oh! Ohh,
for heavers sake! No!
770
00:31:26,470 --> 00:31:27,971
No. No, please.
No! I just want...
771
00:31:28,472 --> 00:31:29,473
doctor, please...
772
00:31:29,473 --> 00:31:32,976
medicine man not go near
dances with stumpy. No.
773
00:31:32,976 --> 00:31:34,770
Everybody, everybody,
774
00:31:34,770 --> 00:31:37,773
i have a little
announcement to make.
775
00:31:37,773 --> 00:31:38,774
I wasrt gonna tell you.
776
00:31:38,774 --> 00:31:40,776
I sent out 10 letters
777
00:31:40,776 --> 00:31:43,278
to different producers
in new york city.
778
00:31:43,278 --> 00:31:44,279
That's great.
779
00:31:44,279 --> 00:31:47,282
This is from
the oppeneimer organization.
780
00:31:47,282 --> 00:31:49,785
"Dear mr. St. Clair,
781
00:31:49,785 --> 00:31:51,787
"in response to your letter
782
00:31:51,787 --> 00:31:54,790
"re: Blaine, missouri's
150th anniversary
783
00:31:55,290 --> 00:31:58,293
"and the debut
of your original musical
784
00:31:58,293 --> 00:32:00,295
"red, white, & blaine,
785
00:32:00,295 --> 00:32:02,297
"the oppeneimer
organization
786
00:32:02,297 --> 00:32:04,800
"is delighted to inform you
787
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,802
"that it will be sending
a representative,
788
00:32:06,802 --> 00:32:08,804
"mr. Mort guffman,
789
00:32:08,804 --> 00:32:10,806
"to view the production
790
00:32:10,806 --> 00:32:12,808
and enlighten us
with his comments."
791
00:32:13,308 --> 00:32:14,309
How about that?
792
00:32:14,309 --> 00:32:16,311
"We thank you
for the invitation."
793
00:32:16,812 --> 00:32:21,316
And it says, "best regards,
samuel oppeneimer jr."
794
00:32:21,316 --> 00:32:24,820
Wow. What does
this mean, corky?
795
00:32:24,820 --> 00:32:26,822
What it means is,
796
00:32:26,822 --> 00:32:29,825
we may be goir
to broadway.
797
00:32:29,825 --> 00:32:30,826
Aah!
798
00:32:31,326 --> 00:32:33,328
Ohh!
799
00:32:33,328 --> 00:32:36,331
Oh, this is
great news!
800
00:32:36,331 --> 00:32:37,833
How about that?
801
00:32:37,833 --> 00:32:38,834
Did you hear that?
802
00:32:39,334 --> 00:32:41,837
My aunt...
i brought out her atlas
803
00:32:41,837 --> 00:32:43,338
that i look at a lot,
804
00:32:43,338 --> 00:32:46,341
this big blue book,
and opened up to new york.
805
00:32:46,341 --> 00:32:48,844
And it's an island,
is really what it is.
806
00:32:48,844 --> 00:32:52,347
It's this...
island full of people
807
00:32:52,347 --> 00:32:56,351
of different colors
and different ideas,
808
00:32:56,351 --> 00:32:59,354
and i can't... it sounds
like a lot of fun to me.
809
00:32:59,354 --> 00:33:03,859
You know, we don't see
much of that in blaine.
810
00:33:03,859 --> 00:33:07,863
I'd like to maybe
meet some guys and...
811
00:33:07,863 --> 00:33:10,365
italian guys or...
812
00:33:10,365 --> 00:33:11,867
you know,
i've watched tv and stuff.
813
00:33:11,867 --> 00:33:14,870
L-i'm gonna be glad to do
the show on broadway,
814
00:33:14,870 --> 00:33:16,371
and there'll probably
be other offers.
815
00:33:16,371 --> 00:33:18,373
Mmm. Keeping
our fingers crossed.
816
00:33:18,373 --> 00:33:21,376
But i don't know if the theater
and the stage is for me.
817
00:33:21,376 --> 00:33:22,878
For one thing,
818
00:33:22,878 --> 00:33:24,880
there's an awful lot
of memorizing of lines,
819
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,382
and i think... and i think...
you know what i'm thinking.
820
00:33:27,883 --> 00:33:29,384
Yeah. That's always
been in your way.
821
00:33:29,384 --> 00:33:31,386
The ultimate goal...
hollywood.
822
00:33:31,887 --> 00:33:33,889
Even when i was a kid
doing my impressions...
823
00:33:33,889 --> 00:33:35,390
"Here's looking at you, babe."
824
00:33:35,891 --> 00:33:36,892
And, uh...
825
00:33:36,892 --> 00:33:38,894
"You don't care
826
00:33:38,894 --> 00:33:42,397
about anyone but yourself."
827
00:33:42,397 --> 00:33:43,899
Who was that?
Henry fonda.
828
00:33:43,899 --> 00:33:45,400
I always have to tell her
who i'm doing.
829
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,903
She always laughs,
"now, who is that?"
830
00:33:47,903 --> 00:33:48,904
But i think, back there,
831
00:33:48,904 --> 00:33:49,905
there's always
the germ in my mind
832
00:33:50,405 --> 00:33:52,407
that that's where i'd end up...
on the silver screen.
833
00:33:52,407 --> 00:33:54,910
And you got the face
for it, too, darlir.
834
00:33:54,910 --> 00:33:56,411
You know, i want to try
835
00:33:56,411 --> 00:33:57,913
that "less is more"
kind of acting,
836
00:33:57,913 --> 00:33:59,915
where you just... when you're
talking to someone,
837
00:34:00,415 --> 00:34:02,417
you close your eyes,
and then you look at them
838
00:34:02,417 --> 00:34:03,919
when you're not
talking to the person.
839
00:34:03,919 --> 00:34:05,921
I mean, you open your eyes
when you're looking away,
840
00:34:05,921 --> 00:34:07,422
but then when you
talk to the person,
841
00:34:07,422 --> 00:34:08,924
you go like that.
And you open your eyes,
842
00:34:08,924 --> 00:34:09,925
and then you look back
at the person,
843
00:34:10,425 --> 00:34:11,927
but you never open your eyes
when you're talking to them.
844
00:34:11,927 --> 00:34:13,428
The guffman news
is really big,
845
00:34:13,428 --> 00:34:16,932
and, uh, i don't
truthfully think
846
00:34:16,932 --> 00:34:19,935
that the cast understand
how big.
847
00:34:20,435 --> 00:34:21,937
Um, they don't know
the new york thing.
848
00:34:21,937 --> 00:34:23,939
They haven't been
through it, and i have.
849
00:34:23,939 --> 00:34:26,441
You know, so it is kind of
on my shoulders,
850
00:34:26,942 --> 00:34:31,446
and... going to the big apple
for the first time,
851
00:34:31,446 --> 00:34:32,447
you know, is...
852
00:34:32,948 --> 00:34:34,950
such an experience.
You never forget it.
853
00:34:34,950 --> 00:34:36,952
It stays with you
for your whole life.
854
00:34:37,452 --> 00:34:38,954
Me, you know,
right out of the navy,
855
00:34:38,954 --> 00:34:41,456
you know,
fresh off a destroyer,
856
00:34:41,456 --> 00:34:44,459
uh, with a dance belt and a tube
of chapstick, basically.
857
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:46,962
You know, not really much
to call my own.
858
00:34:46,962 --> 00:34:49,965
And then basically
being slammed down
859
00:34:49,965 --> 00:34:52,467
for 10 or so years,
you know,
860
00:34:52,467 --> 00:34:54,970
off off off off broadway,
861
00:34:54,970 --> 00:34:57,973
and then enough is enough,
ok? I get the joke.
862
00:34:57,973 --> 00:35:00,976
And... is that gonna happen
again? I don't know.
863
00:35:00,976 --> 00:35:02,477
I mean, and i don't want it
to happen again.
864
00:35:02,477 --> 00:35:04,980
In my deepest,
deepest of hearts,
865
00:35:04,980 --> 00:35:06,982
i do not want it
to happen again.
866
00:35:06,982 --> 00:35:10,485
Mr. Guffman brings with him...
a reputation,
867
00:35:10,485 --> 00:35:13,989
something bigger than anyone
in this town has ever known,
868
00:35:14,489 --> 00:35:17,492
and if i am to get back
to new york city
869
00:35:17,492 --> 00:35:18,994
on my terms,
870
00:35:18,994 --> 00:35:21,997
i cannot deliver him...
a stinky product.
871
00:35:21,997 --> 00:35:26,502
I really have to be
presenting him a package.
872
00:35:26,502 --> 00:35:31,507
A beautifully wrapped,
glossy, sweet-smelling show.
873
00:35:31,507 --> 00:35:35,010
What i need from you...
874
00:35:35,010 --> 00:35:38,013
because you're the bosses
of the town, essentially,
875
00:35:38,013 --> 00:35:39,014
and i know that...
876
00:35:39,515 --> 00:35:40,516
is...
877
00:35:41,517 --> 00:35:43,018
this is so hard.
878
00:35:43,018 --> 00:35:45,020
I mean, there's nothing
easy about this.
879
00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:48,023
This is like when you're
getting your legs waxed,
880
00:35:48,023 --> 00:35:50,025
and they whip that thing off
real fast.
881
00:35:50,025 --> 00:35:52,528
That's what this is like.
882
00:35:52,528 --> 00:35:56,031
I need more money.
883
00:35:56,031 --> 00:35:58,033
How much do you need?
884
00:35:58,033 --> 00:36:01,036
Steve's right. How much
are you thinking of, now?
885
00:36:01,036 --> 00:36:03,038
Ok.
886
00:36:03,539 --> 00:36:05,040
What i need...
887
00:36:06,542 --> 00:36:08,544
is 100,000.
888
00:36:15,551 --> 00:36:17,052
Oh, brother!
889
00:36:17,052 --> 00:36:18,053
Corky!
890
00:36:18,053 --> 00:36:19,054
He is good.
891
00:36:19,054 --> 00:36:20,055
He is.
892
00:36:20,055 --> 00:36:21,557
And let me explain,
893
00:36:22,057 --> 00:36:23,559
let me explain
what...
894
00:36:23,559 --> 00:36:24,560
go ahead.
895
00:36:25,060 --> 00:36:27,062
Oh, man, my heart stopped
for a second there.
896
00:36:27,062 --> 00:36:29,064
He started going "money"
and the whole guffman thing.
897
00:36:29,064 --> 00:36:31,567
Let me just explain
really what that entails.
898
00:36:31,567 --> 00:36:34,570
I bought it all the way,
by the way.
899
00:36:34,570 --> 00:36:36,572
He's not joking.
He's serious, glenn.
900
00:36:36,572 --> 00:36:38,073
He's... he's not kidding?
901
00:36:38,073 --> 00:36:40,075
Corky,
our entire budget
902
00:36:40,075 --> 00:36:43,078
for the entire year
is $15,000 for everything,
903
00:36:43,078 --> 00:36:45,581
and that includes
swimming.
904
00:36:45,581 --> 00:36:47,583
Well, i don't have any
swimming in my show.
905
00:36:47,583 --> 00:36:49,585
No, no. I mean the pool.
We have to keep up the pool.
906
00:36:50,085 --> 00:36:52,087
That's everything.
The entire year is 15,000.
907
00:36:52,087 --> 00:36:53,589
100,000?!
908
00:36:53,589 --> 00:36:56,592
Look, you're a nice fella
and all, glad you're here,
909
00:36:56,592 --> 00:37:00,596
but if i may be blunt...
what's wrong with you?
910
00:37:00,596 --> 00:37:01,597
I mean...
911
00:37:04,099 --> 00:37:05,601
So what i'm
understanding here,
912
00:37:05,601 --> 00:37:07,102
correct me if i'm wrong,
913
00:37:07,603 --> 00:37:10,606
is that you're not
giving me any money.
914
00:37:10,606 --> 00:37:12,608
So now i'm left
basically with nothing.
915
00:37:13,108 --> 00:37:15,611
I'm left with zero,
916
00:37:15,611 --> 00:37:17,613
in which... in which...
what can i do with zero?
917
00:37:17,613 --> 00:37:20,616
You know, what can I...
i can't do anything with it.
918
00:37:20,616 --> 00:37:22,618
This is my life here
we're talking about.
919
00:37:22,618 --> 00:37:24,119
We're not just talking about,
you know, something else.
920
00:37:24,620 --> 00:37:26,121
We're talking about
my life, you know?
921
00:37:26,121 --> 00:37:28,624
And it's forcing me to do
something i don't want to do...
922
00:37:28,624 --> 00:37:30,125
to leave,
923
00:37:30,626 --> 00:37:33,128
to... to go out
and just leave and go home
924
00:37:33,128 --> 00:37:35,631
and say...
make a clean cut here
925
00:37:35,631 --> 00:37:37,633
and say, "no, way, corky.
926
00:37:38,133 --> 00:37:39,635
You're not putting up
with these people."
927
00:37:39,635 --> 00:37:42,137
And i'll tell you why
i can't put up with you people.
928
00:37:42,137 --> 00:37:44,139
Because
you're bastard people.
929
00:37:44,139 --> 00:37:46,642
That's what you are.
You're just bastard people,
930
00:37:46,642 --> 00:37:47,643
and i'm going home,
and i'm gonna...
931
00:37:47,643 --> 00:37:51,647
i'm gonna bite my pillow
is what i'm gonna do!
932
00:37:58,195 --> 00:37:59,196
What do you
use on your skin?
933
00:37:59,696 --> 00:38:00,197
Vaseline.
934
00:38:00,697 --> 00:38:02,699
Petroleum jelly
on your skin? Yeah.
935
00:38:02,699 --> 00:38:04,201
You are getting away
with murder, libby.
936
00:38:04,701 --> 00:38:06,703
You're young and it's ok,
but have i told you...
937
00:38:06,703 --> 00:38:08,205
libby, i have
an announcement.
938
00:38:08,205 --> 00:38:10,207
I have to talk to you.
939
00:38:10,207 --> 00:38:12,209
Excuse me, libby.
I have to talk to you.
940
00:38:12,709 --> 00:38:13,710
I'm gonna round us up.
941
00:38:13,710 --> 00:38:15,212
Hold on. Gee.
942
00:38:15,212 --> 00:38:16,213
Dr. Pearl.
943
00:38:16,213 --> 00:38:17,214
Morning.
944
00:38:17,214 --> 00:38:19,216
Good morning.
We have an announcement.
945
00:38:19,216 --> 00:38:21,718
We have to talk. Ok?
946
00:38:21,718 --> 00:38:24,721
Gather around, please.
Gather around.
947
00:38:24,721 --> 00:38:26,223
Libby! Sheila.
948
00:38:26,723 --> 00:38:27,724
Excuse me, ron.
949
00:38:27,724 --> 00:38:29,726
Thank you. Dr. Pearl.
950
00:38:29,726 --> 00:38:31,728
Please be quiet.
I have an announcement.
951
00:38:31,728 --> 00:38:32,729
We've got to listen up here.
952
00:38:32,729 --> 00:38:34,231
Excuse me, are we
gonna be vocalizing?
953
00:38:34,731 --> 00:38:35,732
We will be vocalizing.
954
00:38:35,732 --> 00:38:37,234
Before we start, i'd
like to clear my throat.
955
00:38:39,236 --> 00:38:42,239
Yes, we'll be doing...
we'll be vocalizing.
956
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:44,241
We'll be doing a lot of...
excuse me, please!
957
00:38:44,241 --> 00:38:47,744
Everybody, let's be serious now
just for a moment,
958
00:38:47,744 --> 00:38:49,746
and let's all listen up, ok?
959
00:38:49,746 --> 00:38:53,250
Corky has left the show,
and i am taking over.
960
00:38:53,250 --> 00:38:56,753
And what i want to do today
is start with some music,
961
00:38:56,753 --> 00:38:59,256
do dancing,
and work on our lines.
962
00:38:59,756 --> 00:39:01,258
And my hope is
at the end of 5 days,
963
00:39:01,258 --> 00:39:02,759
we will know
what we're doing...
964
00:39:02,759 --> 00:39:03,760
what do you mean?
965
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:04,761
And we will have a show.
966
00:39:04,761 --> 00:39:05,762
Corky's left?
967
00:39:06,263 --> 00:39:07,764
You mean he's left
for today or permanently?
968
00:39:07,764 --> 00:39:11,268
Corky has quit the show,
and it's my show.
969
00:39:11,268 --> 00:39:12,769
Corky!
970
00:39:12,769 --> 00:39:14,271
Cork!
971
00:39:15,272 --> 00:39:16,273
Corky!
972
00:39:19,776 --> 00:39:20,777
Here, you go up.
973
00:39:20,777 --> 00:39:22,279
Boy, i only
do that twice a day,
974
00:39:22,779 --> 00:39:23,780
that's good exercise.
975
00:39:23,780 --> 00:39:25,282
You know,
most athletic injuries...
976
00:39:25,282 --> 00:39:26,283
is he not answering?
977
00:39:26,783 --> 00:39:27,784
Corky,
we love you!
978
00:39:27,784 --> 00:39:28,785
Corky, open up!
979
00:39:28,785 --> 00:39:29,786
Corky!
980
00:39:30,287 --> 00:39:31,788
Corky, we love you!
We want you to live!
981
00:39:32,289 --> 00:39:33,790
There may be
something wrong.
982
00:39:33,790 --> 00:39:34,791
Try the door.
Is the door unlocked?
983
00:39:46,303 --> 00:39:47,804
He wants to be
alone right now.
984
00:39:47,804 --> 00:39:49,806
I'd never forgive myself
if something was wrong.
985
00:39:49,806 --> 00:39:53,310
Just shut up! Just shut up!
Jesus christ!
986
00:39:53,810 --> 00:39:54,811
Freaks!
987
00:39:56,313 --> 00:39:57,814
Freaky people, my god!
988
00:39:57,814 --> 00:39:59,816
I know
how he feels, too!
989
00:39:59,816 --> 00:40:03,820
Guess i can just go back
to the dairy queen, you know.
990
00:40:08,325 --> 00:40:10,327
They said
they'd take me back.
991
00:40:13,830 --> 00:40:16,333
I always have a place
at the dairy queen.
992
00:40:20,838 --> 00:40:22,339
You got to stop crying.
993
00:40:22,339 --> 00:40:23,841
She hasn't cried
this much
994
00:40:23,841 --> 00:40:26,844
since the day we got
married. Honestly.
995
00:40:26,844 --> 00:40:29,346
You know,
this is wonderful.
996
00:40:29,346 --> 00:40:31,849
Why didn't i react like this
when i was playing football
997
00:40:31,849 --> 00:40:34,351
for the blaine panthers
and our quarterback
998
00:40:34,351 --> 00:40:35,853
went down with
a dislocated knee?
999
00:40:35,853 --> 00:40:37,354
I should have said,
"time-out!"
1000
00:40:37,354 --> 00:40:38,355
'Cause you're strong, ron,
you're strong.
1001
00:40:38,355 --> 00:40:39,857
You're just a big brick!
1002
00:40:39,857 --> 00:40:41,859
Let's delay the game,
and my lip would tremble,
1003
00:40:42,359 --> 00:40:43,861
and i see we have
an injured quarterback.
1004
00:40:43,861 --> 00:40:45,863
Let's give up. No.
You know what we did?
1005
00:40:46,363 --> 00:40:47,865
We brought in the
second-string quarterback.
1006
00:40:47,865 --> 00:40:48,866
When he went down,
1007
00:40:48,866 --> 00:40:50,367
we brought in the
third-string quarterback,
1008
00:40:50,367 --> 00:40:51,869
and we went out,
and we whipped the pants
1009
00:40:51,869 --> 00:40:53,370
off of harry truman
high school,
1010
00:40:53,370 --> 00:40:55,372
and next week, went out
and mopped the floor
1011
00:40:55,372 --> 00:40:57,374
with blessed, uh,
heart of mary.
1012
00:40:57,374 --> 00:41:00,377
And they went on to win
the state championship.
1013
00:41:04,882 --> 00:41:06,383
To tell you
the truth,
1014
00:41:06,884 --> 00:41:08,886
i haven't even
thought about it.
1015
00:41:08,886 --> 00:41:11,889
Not for a... not for a second
have i even dwelled on the fact
1016
00:41:11,889 --> 00:41:13,390
that the show's over.
1017
00:41:13,390 --> 00:41:16,393
I don't, uh, i don't, uh,
think about it.
1018
00:41:16,393 --> 00:41:17,895
L... i try not
to think about it,
1019
00:41:17,895 --> 00:41:19,897
and therefore,
i, you know, don't,
1020
00:41:19,897 --> 00:41:21,899
because it's
a very healthy way
1021
00:41:22,399 --> 00:41:24,902
to deal with something
that is ultimately
1022
00:41:24,902 --> 00:41:26,403
not that important
in the long run.
1023
00:41:26,403 --> 00:41:29,907
It's not... not, uh,
not important at all,
1024
00:41:29,907 --> 00:41:31,408
you know, for me.
1025
00:41:34,411 --> 00:41:37,915
I'm just so sad for corky,
you know, i mean...
1026
00:41:37,915 --> 00:41:39,917
i think these
creative people,
1027
00:41:39,917 --> 00:41:42,419
they're real emotional,
and, um...
1028
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,922
i think the important thing
about show-biz people
1029
00:41:45,422 --> 00:41:47,424
is that you got to have
a-another life.
1030
00:41:47,424 --> 00:41:50,928
And I... i know, you know, uh,
he's... he's got a wife.
1031
00:41:50,928 --> 00:41:52,429
I guess she's out of town.
1032
00:41:52,429 --> 00:41:55,933
Um... because i haven't
seen her.
1033
00:41:55,933 --> 00:41:57,434
I've never seen her,
1034
00:41:57,434 --> 00:41:59,937
so, you know,
that could be the problem.
1035
00:41:59,937 --> 00:42:02,439
You know, maybe she's
just not supportive.
1036
00:42:02,439 --> 00:42:05,067
Corky, without you,
there's no show.
1037
00:42:05,067 --> 00:42:06,568
Without the show,
there's no celebration.
1038
00:42:06,568 --> 00:42:09,571
Without celebration,
there's no blaine.
1039
00:42:09,571 --> 00:42:12,074
So you see how
it's a domino effect.
1040
00:42:12,074 --> 00:42:14,076
You know how dominoes
do that.
1041
00:42:14,576 --> 00:42:16,078
Without blaine,
i got news for you,
1042
00:42:16,078 --> 00:42:17,079
there's no missouri.
1043
00:42:17,079 --> 00:42:18,580
Blaine is the heart
of missouri.
1044
00:42:18,580 --> 00:42:21,583
What happens if missouri
goes down? You tell me.
1045
00:42:22,084 --> 00:42:25,587
We need the magic back
in the show, is what we need,
1046
00:42:25,587 --> 00:42:28,090
and it ain't gonna
happen with lloyd.
1047
00:42:28,090 --> 00:42:31,593
Lloyd is a music teacher,
and he shops at walmart.
1048
00:42:32,094 --> 00:42:33,095
He doesn't even
support the town.
1049
00:42:33,595 --> 00:42:36,098
The person who needs
you the most...
1050
00:42:36,098 --> 00:42:37,599
is blaine fabin.
1051
00:42:37,599 --> 00:42:39,101
Hear, hear.
1052
00:42:39,101 --> 00:42:42,104
And i'm not just saying that
because i am a fabin.
1053
00:42:42,104 --> 00:42:43,605
Ok, ok.
1054
00:42:43,605 --> 00:42:45,607
I'm saying that
because i just know
1055
00:42:45,607 --> 00:42:48,610
that nobody
can touch, um...
1056
00:42:49,111 --> 00:42:51,113
that whole...
1057
00:42:51,113 --> 00:42:53,115
thing.
1058
00:42:53,115 --> 00:42:54,616
That whole thing, hmm?
1059
00:42:54,616 --> 00:42:56,618
You could
take a nickel,
1060
00:42:56,618 --> 00:42:58,620
and you could make it
into a million dollars,
1061
00:42:58,620 --> 00:43:01,123
because this man is a genius,
and we cannot lose that.
1062
00:43:01,123 --> 00:43:03,125
Look what you did withbarefoot
when you came to this town.
1063
00:43:03,125 --> 00:43:04,626
Did you have
any budget then?
1064
00:43:04,626 --> 00:43:06,128
You didn't have
$100,000 then,
1065
00:43:06,128 --> 00:43:07,629
and look what happened
to that show.
1066
00:43:08,130 --> 00:43:09,131
And what aboutbackdraft?
1067
00:43:09,131 --> 00:43:10,632
You took a little bit
of cellophane,
1068
00:43:10,632 --> 00:43:12,134
and you made it
into flames!
1069
00:43:12,634 --> 00:43:14,136
You can still
feel the heat.
1070
00:43:14,136 --> 00:43:15,637
You know what?
You're not wrong.
1071
00:43:15,637 --> 00:43:18,640
We need you
to take your magic wand...
1072
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:22,644
and wave it and make
this town special again,
1073
00:43:22,644 --> 00:43:24,146
is what we need.
1074
00:43:25,147 --> 00:43:27,149
Will you do it?
1075
00:43:27,149 --> 00:43:28,650
Come on back, cork.
1076
00:43:28,650 --> 00:43:29,651
Please.
1077
00:43:36,658 --> 00:43:37,659
Whoo!
Whoo!
1078
00:43:37,659 --> 00:43:38,660
Whoo!
1079
00:43:38,660 --> 00:43:41,163
Whoo!
1080
00:43:41,163 --> 00:43:42,164
Whoo!
1081
00:43:42,664 --> 00:43:43,665
Whoo!
1082
00:43:43,665 --> 00:43:44,666
Yay!
1083
00:43:44,666 --> 00:43:45,667
Thank you.
1084
00:43:45,667 --> 00:43:46,668
Yay!
1085
00:43:46,668 --> 00:43:48,670
Whoo!
Whoo!
1086
00:43:48,670 --> 00:43:50,172
Please! Oh!
1087
00:43:50,672 --> 00:43:51,673
Whoo!
1088
00:43:51,673 --> 00:43:53,675
All right,
thank you, thank you.
1089
00:43:53,675 --> 00:43:56,178
Thank you. Thank you.
1090
00:43:56,678 --> 00:44:00,682
Ok, let's pretend that
it never happened, ok?
1091
00:44:01,183 --> 00:44:03,185
And let's just jump
intocovered wagons.
1092
00:44:03,685 --> 00:44:05,687
All right? Let's start
from the dance part.
1093
00:44:05,687 --> 00:44:06,688
Covered wagons!
1094
00:44:10,692 --> 00:44:12,694
Whoo!
1095
00:44:14,696 --> 00:44:15,697
Waah!
1096
00:44:16,198 --> 00:44:19,201
In a funny way,
what the city council did
1097
00:44:19,201 --> 00:44:21,203
was really give me
a challenge,
1098
00:44:21,203 --> 00:44:25,207
and it's a challenge
that i am going to accept.
1099
00:44:25,207 --> 00:44:28,210
It's like in the olden days
and the days in france
1100
00:44:28,210 --> 00:44:31,713
when men would slap each other
with their gloves,
1101
00:44:31,713 --> 00:44:32,714
and say, you know,
1102
00:44:33,215 --> 00:44:34,716
"d'artagnan, you know,
1103
00:44:34,716 --> 00:44:37,219
how dare you talk
to me like that, you!"
1104
00:44:37,219 --> 00:44:39,221
And smack 'im.
1105
00:44:39,221 --> 00:44:41,390
Stool boom
1106
00:44:41,390 --> 00:44:44,393
From the parlor
to the pool room
1107
00:44:44,393 --> 00:44:47,896
We're the center
of a stool boom
1108
00:44:47,896 --> 00:44:51,900
?
Everyone knows our name?
1109
00:44:51,900 --> 00:44:53,402
Working, making
1110
00:44:53,902 --> 00:44:55,404
Never stopping,
never sleeping
1111
00:44:55,404 --> 00:44:56,905
Working, building
1112
00:44:56,905 --> 00:44:58,407
Some for selling,
some for keeping
1113
00:44:58,907 --> 00:45:00,409
You will drool
1114
00:45:00,409 --> 00:45:03,412
At the splendor
of these magic stools
1115
00:45:03,412 --> 00:45:04,913
It's the rule
1116
00:45:05,414 --> 00:45:07,416
Everyone has a stool
1117
00:45:07,416 --> 00:45:08,917
Just 3 legs
1118
00:45:08,917 --> 00:45:11,920
It's the thing
for which a monarch begs
1119
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:13,922
Hock your jewels
1120
00:45:13,922 --> 00:45:15,424
I did want to mention
one thing.
1121
00:45:15,424 --> 00:45:16,925
Mm-hmm?
1122
00:45:18,927 --> 00:45:19,928
Specs?
1123
00:45:19,928 --> 00:45:22,931
1845, you know,
1124
00:45:22,931 --> 00:45:25,934
i think it's
a little problem.
1125
00:45:25,934 --> 00:45:27,436
Oh, oh, oh.
1126
00:45:27,936 --> 00:45:29,938
My glasses.
1127
00:45:29,938 --> 00:45:31,440
You're saying...
1128
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:32,941
i don't think
you should wear them.
1129
00:45:32,941 --> 00:45:34,443
Don't wear them
in the show?
1130
00:45:34,443 --> 00:45:35,944
It's mostly in
covered wagons,
1131
00:45:35,944 --> 00:45:36,945
because i think
that's the one
1132
00:45:36,945 --> 00:45:40,449
where it's just not
as believable.
1133
00:45:40,449 --> 00:45:43,452
Of course, when you get
further up in time,
1134
00:45:43,952 --> 00:45:45,454
historically, it's...
1135
00:45:45,454 --> 00:45:47,456
i can see
a couple of problems.
1136
00:45:47,456 --> 00:45:49,458
Nothing major. Nothing
that we can't solve.
1137
00:45:49,458 --> 00:45:51,960
One, um...
1138
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:53,962
contrary
to public opinion,
1139
00:45:54,463 --> 00:45:57,966
i don't see very well
without my glasses,
1140
00:45:57,966 --> 00:46:00,969
so i'm thinking is that
going to be a problem
1141
00:46:00,969 --> 00:46:03,472
for me... just look out.
1142
00:46:03,472 --> 00:46:08,477
And the other thing
which is also a problem
1143
00:46:08,477 --> 00:46:11,980
is i have a very lazy eye
1144
00:46:12,481 --> 00:46:17,986
which these prescription
glasses help correct.
1145
00:46:17,986 --> 00:46:21,365
Wo
3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and...
1146
00:46:21,365 --> 00:46:25,869
Blue sky, blue sea
1147
00:46:25,869 --> 00:46:29,873
Blue grass, blue tree
1148
00:46:29,873 --> 00:46:31,875
Red as the fire
in our hearts
1149
00:46:31,875 --> 00:46:34,378
That makes
this country strong
1150
00:46:34,378 --> 00:46:36,380
Red as the fire
in our hearts
1151
00:46:36,380 --> 00:46:38,382
That helps us
sing this song
1152
00:46:38,382 --> 00:46:40,384
Getting off the horse
is not a problem.
1153
00:46:40,384 --> 00:46:42,386
I can get off
the horse like that,
1154
00:46:42,386 --> 00:46:43,387
but where
i'm having a problem
1155
00:46:43,387 --> 00:46:44,888
is that sometimes
the horse comes out
1156
00:46:45,389 --> 00:46:47,391
and i can't
get past the cow.
1157
00:46:47,391 --> 00:46:49,393
So i have to kind of
do this when i come out.
1158
00:46:49,393 --> 00:46:51,895
"Gather round,
for i have news."
1159
00:46:51,895 --> 00:46:53,897
I don't know which
is more lifelike,
1160
00:46:53,897 --> 00:46:55,899
the horse
or dr. Pearl.
1161
00:46:55,899 --> 00:46:58,402
Oh! Ha ha ha!
You.
1162
00:46:58,902 --> 00:47:01,405
Corky?
Here's the phone.
1163
00:47:01,405 --> 00:47:02,406
It's johnny.
1164
00:47:02,406 --> 00:47:03,907
I feel
like a hero...
1165
00:47:04,408 --> 00:47:06,410
hello?
1166
00:47:06,910 --> 00:47:08,412
Yeah?
1167
00:47:09,913 --> 00:47:11,415
What do you mean?
1168
00:47:11,415 --> 00:47:13,417
Then we back up.
1169
00:47:13,917 --> 00:47:15,419
But i've been waiting
for you to turn around...
1170
00:47:15,919 --> 00:47:16,920
What are you saying?
1171
00:47:17,421 --> 00:47:18,422
Shh!
1172
00:47:18,422 --> 00:47:20,924
I understand that.
No, i understand.
1173
00:47:21,425 --> 00:47:22,426
Believe me,
i do understand.
1174
00:47:22,426 --> 00:47:27,431
What can you do is
just say absolutely not!
1175
00:47:27,431 --> 00:47:29,433
Do you understand that?
1176
00:47:29,433 --> 00:47:30,934
I don't believe that.
1177
00:47:30,934 --> 00:47:33,437
No, i'm sorry.
I do not accept that.
1178
00:47:33,437 --> 00:47:34,938
That is not an answer, no.
1179
00:47:34,938 --> 00:47:37,941
It's absolutely unacceptable
that you would say this now.
1180
00:47:38,442 --> 00:47:40,944
Not today! No!
1181
00:47:42,946 --> 00:47:44,948
And that's the way it is?
1182
00:47:44,948 --> 00:47:46,950
Then i just hate you!
1183
00:47:46,950 --> 00:47:49,953
And i hate your ass face!
1184
00:47:50,454 --> 00:47:52,956
What's up?
Oh, corky.
1185
00:47:52,956 --> 00:47:54,458
Johnny's not in the show.
1186
00:47:54,458 --> 00:47:57,461
His dad said he has
to go back to work.
1187
00:47:57,461 --> 00:47:59,463
What does he think
this is, school,
1188
00:47:59,963 --> 00:48:01,465
that he can be marked
absent one day?
1189
00:48:01,965 --> 00:48:03,967
This is the day
of the show, y'all.
1190
00:48:03,967 --> 00:48:04,968
Oh, my god.
1191
00:48:04,968 --> 00:48:06,970
Just... just...
1192
00:48:06,970 --> 00:48:08,472
This is
very strange.
1193
00:48:08,472 --> 00:48:10,474
Ron, just... just let me think
for a second, all right?
1194
00:48:10,974 --> 00:48:12,976
I've just got
to take a breath here
1195
00:48:12,976 --> 00:48:15,979
and... and try to figure
this out, all right?
1196
00:48:21,485 --> 00:48:23,987
It's tight.
That hurts.
1197
00:48:23,987 --> 00:48:25,489
If you could hike
it up a little bit
1198
00:48:25,489 --> 00:48:26,990
you'd get more room.
1199
00:48:26,990 --> 00:48:28,492
I am pulling them up.
1200
00:48:28,492 --> 00:48:30,494
Sort of trying to commit
to one side here, dear.
1201
00:48:30,494 --> 00:48:33,997
This is johnny's costume,
and johnny is a lot...
1202
00:48:33,997 --> 00:48:36,500
he's a different
body type than you are.
1203
00:48:36,500 --> 00:48:39,002
This is... i don't...
i'm worried...
1204
00:48:39,002 --> 00:48:40,504
i'm about
5 inches away...
1205
00:48:40,504 --> 00:48:41,505
i understand.
1206
00:48:41,505 --> 00:48:43,507
Wo Actors,
we're at 15 minutes.
1207
00:48:43,507 --> 00:48:44,508
Oh, my god!
Aah!
1208
00:48:45,008 --> 00:48:46,009
We're at 15.
1209
00:48:46,009 --> 00:48:48,512
No, we gotta move now.
Come on.
1210
00:48:48,512 --> 00:48:50,514
You're gonna have
to help me here.
1211
00:48:50,514 --> 00:48:52,516
Ok, ok.
Help me here!
1212
00:49:02,526 --> 00:49:03,527
I'm so nervous.
1213
00:49:04,027 --> 00:49:05,028
You're gonna be great.
1214
00:49:05,529 --> 00:49:06,530
If there's an empty space,
just say a line.
1215
00:49:07,030 --> 00:49:08,031
That's what i like to do.
1216
00:49:08,031 --> 00:49:09,533
Even if it's
from another show.
1217
00:49:16,540 --> 00:49:18,041
Agnes, where's
the lilac dress?
1218
00:49:18,041 --> 00:49:19,042
You mean
the purple one?
1219
00:49:19,543 --> 00:49:20,544
Yes. Where is it?
1220
00:49:20,544 --> 00:49:22,045
Honey, i told you to lay off
the hot fudge sundaes.
1221
00:49:22,045 --> 00:49:23,547
I couldn't let
the seams out.
1222
00:49:23,547 --> 00:49:25,048
It's not here?
1223
00:49:25,048 --> 00:49:27,050
Not it is not.
Hello, sweetheart.
1224
00:49:40,856 --> 00:49:42,858
Oh, i destroyed
my makeup!
1225
00:49:42,858 --> 00:49:45,360
Mmm. Hark!
A rider approaches!
1226
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:46,361
Oh, god!
1227
00:49:46,361 --> 00:49:48,363
It's all right.
Just... careful.
1228
00:49:48,363 --> 00:49:50,365
I hope that
isn't too hot.
1229
00:49:50,365 --> 00:49:52,367
No, no, it's just fine.
1230
00:50:33,408 --> 00:50:35,410
May i remind you, please?
1231
00:50:35,410 --> 00:50:36,411
No glasses for
the first number.
1232
00:50:36,411 --> 00:50:37,913
Oh, no, no, no, I...
1233
00:50:37,913 --> 00:50:40,415
actors?
We're at places.
1234
00:50:40,415 --> 00:50:42,918
Have a good show everybody!
Break a leg!
1235
00:51:17,452 --> 00:51:19,955
Don't worry about anything
'cause it's gonna all roll...
1236
00:51:19,955 --> 00:51:21,957
he's not here.
1237
00:51:21,957 --> 00:51:23,458
He's not here.
What?
1238
00:51:23,458 --> 00:51:25,460
Not here? Guffman?
1239
00:51:25,460 --> 00:51:26,461
Should we lower
the curtain?
1240
00:51:26,962 --> 00:51:27,462
Corky!
1241
00:51:27,963 --> 00:51:29,965
Everybody, look, look,
1242
00:51:29,965 --> 00:51:31,967
i've been through this
a million times.
1243
00:51:31,967 --> 00:51:33,969
These new york types
like to come late.
1244
00:51:33,969 --> 00:51:36,471
Believe me. I've never seen
one of them come on time
1245
00:51:36,972 --> 00:51:38,473
in all my years
in the theater.
1246
00:51:38,974 --> 00:51:40,976
Take a deep breath...
1247
00:51:40,976 --> 00:51:42,477
blow it out.
1248
00:51:42,477 --> 00:51:44,980
He's gonna be here.
Let's just do a good show, ok?
1249
00:51:44,980 --> 00:51:47,482
Everybody do a good show.
Hands in the middle.
1250
00:51:47,482 --> 00:51:50,986
Wwwwwhoa!
1251
00:52:22,851 --> 00:52:25,354
Oh, howdy.
1252
00:52:25,354 --> 00:52:29,858
Eh, didn't see you
sneak up on me there.
1253
00:52:29,858 --> 00:52:31,360
But if you like,
1254
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:33,862
you're welcome to share
my campfire with me.
1255
00:52:34,363 --> 00:52:37,366
I was just fixing
to get me some grub.
1256
00:52:37,366 --> 00:52:39,868
Beans.
mmm.
1257
00:52:40,369 --> 00:52:44,873
I love beans.
Big, fat, hot juicy beans.
1258
00:52:44,873 --> 00:52:47,876
Now, don't get me
going on beans
1259
00:52:47,876 --> 00:52:51,380
or i'll be jabberir away
till the sun comes up.
1260
00:52:52,381 --> 00:52:54,883
But, you know,
now that i've got your ear,
1261
00:52:55,384 --> 00:52:58,387
there is a story i wouldn't
mind sharing with you.
1262
00:52:58,387 --> 00:53:00,889
It's a tall tale
that grows taller
1263
00:53:00,889 --> 00:53:02,891
with each passing year.
1264
00:53:02,891 --> 00:53:06,395
It's the story of blaine.
1265
00:53:21,410 --> 00:53:23,412
Well, we've traveled
long and far today.
1266
00:53:23,412 --> 00:53:24,913
We must let the women
and children rest.
1267
00:53:24,913 --> 00:53:27,916
Don't you rest on our account,
daniel potter.
1268
00:53:27,916 --> 00:53:31,420
We women are just as strong
and resilient as you men.
1269
00:53:31,420 --> 00:53:32,921
Ha ha ha!
1270
00:53:32,921 --> 00:53:34,923
I do believe you are,
rebecca.
1271
00:53:34,923 --> 00:53:35,924
I do believe you are.
1272
00:53:36,425 --> 00:53:39,428
California will be a sight
for these weary eyes.
1273
00:53:39,928 --> 00:53:42,431
Mine as well,
rebecca, mine as well.
1274
00:53:42,431 --> 00:53:44,933
But right now we need
a campfire to warm our souls
1275
00:53:44,933 --> 00:53:46,435
and to cook our food.
1276
00:53:46,435 --> 00:53:47,936
Done.
1277
00:53:50,439 --> 00:53:51,440
Oh.
1278
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:52,941
Oh.
1279
00:53:52,941 --> 00:53:56,445
That will be quite enough
of that, billy whittaker.
1280
00:53:56,445 --> 00:53:57,946
Just one kiss?
1281
00:53:57,946 --> 00:53:59,948
There'll be plenty
of time for kissing
1282
00:53:59,948 --> 00:54:01,950
when we get
to california.
1283
00:54:01,950 --> 00:54:03,952
lfwe get to california.
1284
00:54:03,952 --> 00:54:05,954
Oh, we'll get there.
1285
00:54:05,954 --> 00:54:08,957
Blaine fabin will
lead us there.
1286
00:54:08,957 --> 00:54:10,959
Hark! A rider approaches.
1287
00:54:10,959 --> 00:54:13,462
Blaine fabin
returns!
1288
00:54:13,462 --> 00:54:16,965
Whoa!
1289
00:54:16,965 --> 00:54:18,467
Ho there!
1290
00:54:18,467 --> 00:54:22,471
Whoa, steady.
1291
00:54:22,471 --> 00:54:25,474
Gather round
for i have news.
1292
00:54:25,974 --> 00:54:26,975
What news?
1293
00:54:27,476 --> 00:54:30,979
What did your keen and
perceptive eyes behold?
1294
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:33,982
Just up yonder,
there is a ridge.
1295
00:54:33,982 --> 00:54:36,485
How high a ridge,
i could not tell,
1296
00:54:36,485 --> 00:54:39,488
for the sun had set
and darkness fell
1297
00:54:39,488 --> 00:54:41,490
before i reached
its pinnacle.
1298
00:54:41,490 --> 00:54:45,494
Then... a strange thing
happened.
1299
00:54:45,494 --> 00:54:48,497
My nose started twitchir.
1300
00:54:48,497 --> 00:54:52,000
There was a mysterious
scent in the night air.
1301
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:53,502
What? What kind
of scent?
1302
00:54:53,502 --> 00:54:55,504
What was this
mysterious scent?
1303
00:54:56,004 --> 00:54:59,007
It was the scent
of salt water!
1304
00:54:59,007 --> 00:55:00,008
Oh!
Salt water!
1305
00:55:00,008 --> 00:55:01,510
Salt water?
1306
00:55:03,011 --> 00:55:04,680
Ladies and gentlemen,
1307
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:06,682
we have reached
our destination!
1308
00:55:06,682 --> 00:55:09,184
We have
reached the pacific!
1309
00:55:09,184 --> 00:55:12,187
Welcome to california!
1310
00:55:12,187 --> 00:55:13,689
Yay!
Yay!
1311
00:55:18,694 --> 00:55:21,196
Grab your feller
by the hand
1312
00:55:21,196 --> 00:55:23,699
Welcome him
to the promised land
1313
00:55:23,699 --> 00:55:26,201
Grab your lady
by the arm
1314
00:55:26,201 --> 00:55:28,704
Take her out
behind the barn
1315
00:55:32,708 --> 00:55:34,710
Everybody dance!
1316
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:46,221
Whoo!
1317
00:56:25,260 --> 00:56:27,262
That was great!
1318
00:56:27,262 --> 00:56:28,263
Shut up.
I can't believe...
1319
00:56:28,263 --> 00:56:29,264
oh, my!
1320
00:56:29,264 --> 00:56:31,767
60 years went by,
1321
00:56:32,267 --> 00:56:35,270
and the town of blaine kept
a-growir and a-changir.
1322
00:56:35,270 --> 00:56:37,773
Every time you looked around,
a new house was going up,
1323
00:56:37,773 --> 00:56:39,775
a new family was moving in.
1324
00:56:39,775 --> 00:56:41,276
Hurry, agnes.
1325
00:56:41,276 --> 00:56:43,278
I am trying to hurry.
There we go.
1326
00:56:43,779 --> 00:56:45,280
You got my hat?
Where's my hat?
1327
00:56:45,781 --> 00:56:47,783
Your hat? Right here
is your hat, darling.
1328
00:56:47,783 --> 00:56:52,287
Mcgillicuddy's orchard became
the blaine elementary school.
1329
00:56:52,287 --> 00:56:55,290
They even laid track for
that newfangled invention,
1330
00:56:55,290 --> 00:56:56,792
the iron horse,
1331
00:56:57,292 --> 00:57:00,295
which brought a pretty
important visitor to blaine.
1332
00:57:01,797 --> 00:57:04,800
Yay!
It's president mckinley!
1333
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,302
Hurrah! Hurrah!
1334
00:57:07,302 --> 00:57:09,304
Good people of blaine,
1335
00:57:09,304 --> 00:57:11,807
they told me
my next stop was wichita,
1336
00:57:12,307 --> 00:57:14,810
but i said,
"what about blaine?"
1337
00:57:14,810 --> 00:57:17,312
Yay!
Hurrah!
1338
00:57:17,312 --> 00:57:19,815
I guess i need
a new travel agent.
1339
00:57:21,817 --> 00:57:25,821
Mr. President,
in honor of our visit...
1340
00:57:26,321 --> 00:57:29,324
yourvisit toourtown,
1341
00:57:29,324 --> 00:57:31,326
i present you humbly
1342
00:57:31,827 --> 00:57:34,830
with this fair key
to our city.
1343
00:57:34,830 --> 00:57:36,832
Well, i do declare,
i believe the key to this city
1344
00:57:36,832 --> 00:57:39,334
is larger than
the city itself.
1345
00:57:41,336 --> 00:57:42,838
Wait, mr. President!
1346
00:57:42,838 --> 00:57:44,339
What have we here?
1347
00:57:44,339 --> 00:57:47,342
It's a footstool.
I make them.
1348
00:57:47,342 --> 00:57:49,344
Well, isn't
that interesting?
1349
00:57:49,344 --> 00:57:51,346
I'll take this back
to washington with me,
1350
00:57:51,346 --> 00:57:53,348
and every time
i rest my feet
1351
00:57:53,348 --> 00:57:56,351
i'll think of blaine.
1352
00:57:56,351 --> 00:57:58,854
Yay!
Hurrah!
1353
00:57:58,854 --> 00:58:01,356
Hurrah!
1354
00:58:01,356 --> 00:58:03,859
Now, we all know
that politicians
1355
00:58:03,859 --> 00:58:05,861
aren't used to keeping
their word...
1356
00:58:05,861 --> 00:58:07,863
he's here.
He's here.
1357
00:58:07,863 --> 00:58:09,865
I told you
he was gonna come.
1358
00:58:10,365 --> 00:58:11,366
Should we start
over again?
1359
00:58:11,366 --> 00:58:13,869
He didn't see
covered wagons!
1360
00:58:13,869 --> 00:58:15,579
Well, before you know it,
1361
00:58:15,579 --> 00:58:17,581
everyone rich and poor alike
1362
00:58:17,581 --> 00:58:20,584
had to have a blaine stool
in their home.
1363
00:58:21,084 --> 00:58:23,086
The little town never
knew what hit it.
1364
00:58:23,086 --> 00:58:28,091
Footstool factories
sprouted up like toadstools.
1365
00:58:28,091 --> 00:58:30,093
Everyone had a good job,
1366
00:58:30,093 --> 00:58:32,596
everyone was making
a good wage.
1367
00:58:33,096 --> 00:58:36,099
Blaine was on the map.
1368
00:58:48,111 --> 00:58:50,113
By the pool
1369
00:58:50,113 --> 00:58:52,616
In the school,
by the fires of yule
1370
00:58:52,616 --> 00:58:55,118
It's the rule
1371
00:58:55,118 --> 00:58:56,620
There's a stool,
there's a stool
1372
00:58:56,620 --> 00:58:59,122
Stools are where
1373
00:58:59,122 --> 00:59:01,625
Once upon a time
you'd find a chair
1374
00:59:01,625 --> 00:59:03,627
A chair's for fools
1375
00:59:03,627 --> 00:59:06,630
Everybody wants stools
1376
00:59:06,630 --> 00:59:08,632
Stool boom
1377
00:59:08,632 --> 00:59:11,635
From the parlor
to the pool room
1378
00:59:12,135 --> 00:59:15,138
We're the center
of a stool boom
1379
00:59:15,138 --> 00:59:19,142
?
Everyone knows our name?
1380
00:59:19,142 --> 00:59:21,144
Working, building
1381
00:59:21,144 --> 00:59:22,646
Never stopping,
never sleeping
1382
00:59:22,646 --> 00:59:24,147
Working, making
1383
00:59:24,147 --> 00:59:25,649
Some for selling,
some for keeping
1384
00:59:25,649 --> 00:59:27,651
You will drool
1385
00:59:28,151 --> 00:59:30,153
At the splendor of
these magic stools
1386
00:59:30,153 --> 00:59:32,656
It's the rule
1387
00:59:32,656 --> 00:59:34,658
Everyone has a stool
1388
00:59:34,658 --> 00:59:36,660
Just 3 legs
1389
00:59:36,660 --> 00:59:39,162
It's a thing
for which a monarch begs
1390
00:59:39,663 --> 00:59:41,164
Hock your jewels
1391
00:59:41,665 --> 00:59:43,667
Use the money for stools
1392
00:59:44,168 --> 00:59:45,669
Stool boom
1393
00:59:46,170 --> 00:59:49,173
Just 3 legs
and watch the sales zoom
1394
00:59:49,173 --> 00:59:52,676
Like a fever,
it's a stool boom
1395
00:59:52,676 --> 00:59:57,181
And it's spreading out
from blaine
1396
00:59:57,181 --> 00:59:58,682
Working, building
1397
00:59:58,682 --> 01:00:00,184
Never stopping,
never sleeping
1398
01:00:00,184 --> 01:00:01,685
Working, making
1399
01:00:01,685 --> 01:00:03,187
Some for selling,
some for keeping
1400
01:00:03,187 --> 01:00:05,189
Working, building
1401
01:00:05,189 --> 01:00:07,191
Never stopping,
never sleeping
1402
01:00:07,191 --> 01:00:09,693
Working, making
1403
01:00:09,693 --> 01:00:11,695
Some for selling
1404
01:00:11,695 --> 01:00:15,699
Some for keeping
1405
01:00:15,699 --> 01:00:18,202
Whew.
1406
01:00:42,351 --> 01:00:44,853
I can't wait
to see the second half.
1407
01:00:44,853 --> 01:00:47,356
Allan, his dramatic work...
1408
01:00:47,356 --> 01:00:48,857
i mean,
i knew he was funny,
1409
01:00:48,857 --> 01:00:52,861
and i knew he could move, dance,
'cause he's that way,
1410
01:00:52,861 --> 01:00:57,866
but i think his dramatical work
is so moving that, um...
1411
01:00:57,866 --> 01:01:00,369
well, i mean,
i called joyce and i said,
1412
01:01:00,369 --> 01:01:03,372
"joyce, bring joshie 'cause
i gotta feed him halftime
1413
01:01:03,372 --> 01:01:04,873
'cause i'm just busting."
1414
01:01:04,873 --> 01:01:06,875
This is good.
Boy, they're moving.
1415
01:01:06,875 --> 01:01:07,876
They're dancing
all over the place
1416
01:01:07,876 --> 01:01:09,878
and the songs
are very catchy.
1417
01:01:09,878 --> 01:01:11,380
Uh, very catchy.
1418
01:01:11,380 --> 01:01:13,382
Can't get a few of them
out of my head.
1419
01:01:13,382 --> 01:01:14,883
Almost to
an annoying point,
1420
01:01:14,883 --> 01:01:17,886
but i think it's good
when a song is catchy.
1421
01:01:18,387 --> 01:01:21,890
From the little experience
i have in show business.
1422
01:01:21,890 --> 01:01:25,894
I knew corky that could act
and direct and produce,
1423
01:01:25,894 --> 01:01:27,896
but who knew he was going
to act and sing and dance?
1424
01:01:28,397 --> 01:01:30,899
You know, he can just do
everything there is to do,
1425
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:32,901
and there's only one
other person in the world
1426
01:01:33,402 --> 01:01:35,404
that can do that and
that's barbra streisand.
1427
01:01:35,404 --> 01:01:38,407
He is...
1428
01:01:38,407 --> 01:01:40,909
I don't know.
An inspiration to this town.
1429
01:01:40,909 --> 01:01:42,911
That's... that's what he is.
1430
01:01:43,412 --> 01:01:45,914
And i, for one, am very glad
1431
01:01:46,415 --> 01:01:47,916
to see that johnny savage
dropped out of the show,
1432
01:01:47,916 --> 01:01:50,419
because a couple years ago,
he came into the drugstore
1433
01:01:50,419 --> 01:01:52,921
and he tried to steal
my stamp machine,
1434
01:01:52,921 --> 01:01:54,923
and that kid is no good.
1435
01:01:54,923 --> 01:01:56,925
You could tell just by
his parents he's no good,
1436
01:01:56,925 --> 01:01:59,428
and he would not have added
anything to this show.
1437
01:01:59,428 --> 01:02:00,429
Where corky
on the other hand...
1438
01:02:00,429 --> 01:02:01,930
Iook at him! Did you see...
1439
01:02:02,431 --> 01:02:05,392
god, i wish
i was in the show!
1440
01:02:25,454 --> 01:02:27,456
I hear that
french girls...
1441
01:02:27,956 --> 01:02:29,958
are very pretty.
1442
01:02:29,958 --> 01:02:32,461
That they wear
the finest of clothes.
1443
01:02:32,461 --> 01:02:34,963
I also hear
that they are experts
1444
01:02:34,963 --> 01:02:36,965
in the ways of love.
1445
01:02:36,965 --> 01:02:40,469
Ima, i'm going to fight
for my country.
1446
01:02:40,469 --> 01:02:43,472
To fight, and yes,
perhaps die
1447
01:02:43,472 --> 01:02:46,975
so that young men
from here to timbuktu
1448
01:02:46,975 --> 01:02:50,979
can feel the wind of freedom
blowing through their hair.
1449
01:02:50,979 --> 01:02:54,983
Oh, monty, i didn't
mean to doubt you.
1450
01:02:54,983 --> 01:02:59,988
It's just sometimes i feel
as if i don't really know you.
1451
01:03:01,990 --> 01:03:04,493
I would still pay.
1452
01:03:06,995 --> 01:03:10,499
A penny for
your thoughts
1453
01:03:10,499 --> 01:03:13,502
A dime
for your dreams
1454
01:03:13,502 --> 01:03:16,505
Would a shiny
new quarter
1455
01:03:16,505 --> 01:03:20,008
Buy a peek
at your schemes?
1456
01:03:20,509 --> 01:03:23,512
And when you are away
1457
01:03:23,512 --> 01:03:26,515
So far from my side
1458
01:03:26,515 --> 01:03:30,018
I will cherish
my penny's won'th
1459
01:03:30,018 --> 01:03:34,022
Till at last
i'm your bride
1460
01:03:38,527 --> 01:03:41,530
A penny for
your thoughts
1461
01:03:41,530 --> 01:03:44,032
Let's call it
a deal
1462
01:03:44,533 --> 01:03:47,536
I don't have
any secrets
1463
01:03:47,536 --> 01:03:51,039
You know
how i feel
1464
01:03:51,039 --> 01:03:53,041
That's it. No, no.
Hey, here.
1465
01:03:53,041 --> 01:03:54,042
Where?
1466
01:03:54,042 --> 01:03:55,043
You know where
i like the curl.
1467
01:03:55,043 --> 01:03:56,545
Ron, i have to get
myself ready.
1468
01:03:56,545 --> 01:03:58,547
There it is. Nice.
1469
01:03:58,547 --> 01:04:01,550
Now, a little fluff here
and you can work on yourself.
1470
01:04:01,550 --> 01:04:04,553
A penny for
your thoughts
1471
01:04:04,553 --> 01:04:07,055
It's settled
and done
1472
01:04:07,556 --> 01:04:10,559
I'd have offered
a million
1473
01:04:10,559 --> 01:04:14,563
I'd have done it
for none
1474
01:04:14,563 --> 01:04:18,066
I reckon
we're in love
1475
01:04:18,066 --> 01:04:20,569
And married
we'll be
1476
01:04:21,069 --> 01:04:24,072
And all
for a penny
1477
01:04:24,072 --> 01:04:27,075
A bright
copper penny
1478
01:04:27,576 --> 01:04:31,079
The penny
that brought you
1479
01:04:31,580 --> 01:04:35,584
To me
1480
01:05:04,613 --> 01:05:06,114
It was so good.
1481
01:05:06,114 --> 01:05:08,116
I told you you'd be able
to lift me like that.
1482
01:05:08,617 --> 01:05:09,618
Ha ha! You were right!
1483
01:05:09,618 --> 01:05:11,119
You lifted me up!
1484
01:05:11,119 --> 01:05:15,499
Yes, after our brave fighting
boys returned from the war,
1485
01:05:15,499 --> 01:05:17,501
things got
back to normal in blaine.
1486
01:05:17,501 --> 01:05:21,004
Until one summer night
in 1946,
1487
01:05:21,505 --> 01:05:26,510
when unexpected visitors
put us back on the map.
1488
01:05:31,014 --> 01:05:31,515
Where are we?
1489
01:05:32,015 --> 01:05:32,516
How did we get here?
1490
01:05:33,016 --> 01:05:35,018
Is this a dream?
1491
01:05:38,522 --> 01:05:40,524
Look,
what is it?
1492
01:05:40,524 --> 01:05:42,025
I don't know.
1493
01:05:42,025 --> 01:05:44,027
It looks like one of them
new feed storage bins.
1494
01:05:44,027 --> 01:05:46,029
That ain't no
feed storage bin!
1495
01:05:46,029 --> 01:05:47,531
How did it
get here?
1496
01:05:47,531 --> 01:05:49,032
It must've flew!
1497
01:05:49,032 --> 01:05:51,034
But it don't
have any wings.
1498
01:05:51,034 --> 01:05:53,036
Then i guess
it just dropped...
1499
01:05:53,036 --> 01:05:55,038
from somewhere
up there.
1500
01:05:55,038 --> 01:05:57,541
Citizens of blaine,
1501
01:05:57,541 --> 01:05:59,042
do not be alarmed.
1502
01:05:59,042 --> 01:06:01,044
We will not harm you.
1503
01:06:01,044 --> 01:06:05,549
We come in peace from
a planet far, far away.
1504
01:06:05,549 --> 01:06:08,051
A place we call mars.
1505
01:06:08,051 --> 01:06:09,553
I've heard
of mars.
1506
01:06:09,553 --> 01:06:10,554
Where's that?
1507
01:06:10,554 --> 01:06:14,558
Stand back and
your queries will be answered.
1508
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:19,062
Look out!
1509
01:06:26,570 --> 01:06:28,071
What do you want
from us?
1510
01:06:28,572 --> 01:06:31,074
A good question, earthling.
1511
01:06:31,074 --> 01:06:33,577
It seemed like
it was time for a change.
1512
01:06:33,577 --> 01:06:35,078
Time to take a trip
1513
01:06:35,579 --> 01:06:38,582
to see the exciting places
in the galaxy.
1514
01:06:39,082 --> 01:06:40,083
For you see...
1515
01:06:40,584 --> 01:06:44,087
Nothing
ever happens on mars
1516
01:06:44,087 --> 01:06:46,089
No sports
or entertainment
1517
01:06:46,590 --> 01:06:48,091
Or swinging bars
1518
01:06:48,091 --> 01:06:50,093
You stand around
1519
01:06:50,594 --> 01:06:52,095
You stand some more
1520
01:06:52,095 --> 01:06:56,099
On a planet named
for a roman god of war
1521
01:06:56,600 --> 01:07:00,103
Nothing ever
happens on mars
1522
01:07:00,604 --> 01:07:02,606
?
No supersonic airplanes?
1523
01:07:02,606 --> 01:07:04,608
No sporty cars
1524
01:07:04,608 --> 01:07:06,610
The sun comes up
1525
01:07:06,610 --> 01:07:08,111
The sun goes down
1526
01:07:08,111 --> 01:07:10,113
You can't
go to the country
1527
01:07:10,113 --> 01:07:12,616
You can't go to town
1528
01:07:12,616 --> 01:07:14,117
Boring, boring
1529
01:07:14,618 --> 01:07:16,620
Boring, boring
1530
01:07:16,620 --> 01:07:19,122
Boring, boring
1531
01:07:19,623 --> 01:07:21,625
Boring
1532
01:07:29,424 --> 01:07:31,426
Well, the town of blaine
1533
01:07:31,426 --> 01:07:33,428
has packed a lot
in the last 150 years.
1534
01:07:33,929 --> 01:07:36,932
We've had our ups
and we've had our downs.
1535
01:07:36,932 --> 01:07:38,433
We've seen our past
1536
01:07:38,433 --> 01:07:40,936
and we look forward
to the future.
1537
01:07:40,936 --> 01:07:42,938
And when
the challenges come,
1538
01:07:42,938 --> 01:07:45,440
we'll greet them
the way americans always do,
1539
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:48,443
with grit,
determination, and pride.
1540
01:07:48,944 --> 01:07:52,447
Because that,
my friends, isamerica.
1541
01:07:52,447 --> 01:07:55,951
And nothir
says america more to me
1542
01:07:55,951 --> 01:07:58,453
than blaine!
1543
01:08:57,513 --> 01:08:59,515
Aah! Corky!
1544
01:08:59,515 --> 01:09:01,016
Corky!
1545
01:09:09,525 --> 01:09:11,860
Mmm! You're so brilliant!
You're brilliant!
1546
01:09:12,361 --> 01:09:14,363
Cliff, you're great.
Everyone is so great!
1547
01:09:14,363 --> 01:09:16,365
Ohh, dr. Pearl!
1548
01:09:16,865 --> 01:09:17,866
Corky, you did it!
1549
01:09:17,866 --> 01:09:19,368
Thank you! Mmm!
1550
01:09:19,368 --> 01:09:22,371
I'm going to get mr. Guffman.
I'll be right backstage.
1551
01:09:25,874 --> 01:09:27,876
It was great.
1552
01:09:29,378 --> 01:09:30,879
Hello, how are you?
1553
01:09:30,879 --> 01:09:31,880
Hi.
1554
01:09:32,381 --> 01:09:33,382
It's nice to meet you.
1555
01:09:33,882 --> 01:09:34,883
And you, too.
1556
01:09:34,883 --> 01:09:36,385
Boffo socko, corky.
1557
01:09:36,385 --> 01:09:37,386
Thank you so much,
mr. Mayor.
1558
01:09:37,386 --> 01:09:38,387
Wait'll they hear
about this
1559
01:09:38,387 --> 01:09:39,888
at the next mayor's
conference.
1560
01:09:39,888 --> 01:09:40,889
Thank you so much.
1561
01:09:40,889 --> 01:09:42,891
I know we have
a lot of work to do,
1562
01:09:42,891 --> 01:09:43,892
the first act needs...
1563
01:09:44,393 --> 01:09:45,394
that was magic.
1564
01:09:45,394 --> 01:09:46,895
Thank you very much,
steve.
1565
01:09:46,895 --> 01:09:48,397
God!
Thank you so much.
1566
01:09:48,397 --> 01:09:51,900
Which we've got... the first act,
it's just up and down.
1567
01:09:51,900 --> 01:09:53,902
Kind of dipping in and out,
and i know that,
1568
01:09:53,902 --> 01:09:55,904
just don't have the time
to do everything.
1569
01:09:55,904 --> 01:09:58,407
So, i'm gonna ask you
point-blank...
1570
01:09:58,407 --> 01:09:59,908
do we have a shot
to go to broadway?
1571
01:09:59,908 --> 01:10:01,410
Yes, i think so.
1572
01:10:01,910 --> 01:10:04,913
Ohh, mamma mia!
That is such good news.
1573
01:10:05,414 --> 01:10:07,916
Oh, i can't tell you
what news that is to me.
1574
01:10:07,916 --> 01:10:09,418
Would you like
to meet the cast?
1575
01:10:09,418 --> 01:10:10,419
I'd like that, yeah.
1576
01:10:10,919 --> 01:10:13,922
Oh, great.
Come on with me, you.
1577
01:10:13,922 --> 01:10:14,923
Ohh!
1578
01:10:14,923 --> 01:10:17,426
Mr. Pro!
Wonderful job.
1579
01:10:17,926 --> 01:10:19,428
You, too.
That blaine...
1580
01:10:19,428 --> 01:10:21,430
Everybody!
1581
01:10:21,430 --> 01:10:22,931
Ha ha ha!
1582
01:10:22,931 --> 01:10:24,433
Ohh!
Ohh!
1583
01:10:25,934 --> 01:10:28,937
Yes!
1584
01:10:28,937 --> 01:10:30,439
Our cast.
1585
01:10:30,939 --> 01:10:33,442
Thank you.
You were just great.
1586
01:10:33,442 --> 01:10:34,443
Oh ho ho!
1587
01:10:36,445 --> 01:10:38,947
Well, i'd like... please,
introduce yourselves.
1588
01:10:39,448 --> 01:10:41,950
Sheila... sheila albertson.
1589
01:10:41,950 --> 01:10:43,452
I was?
You were great.
1590
01:10:43,452 --> 01:10:45,454
Mrs. Ron albertson.
I'm ron albertson.
1591
01:10:45,454 --> 01:10:47,456
It's a pleasure to
perform for someone...
1592
01:10:47,456 --> 01:10:48,957
this came
a couple hours ago.
1593
01:10:49,458 --> 01:10:50,459
I'm sorry i'm just now
getting it to you.
1594
01:10:50,959 --> 01:10:51,960
Oh, thank you,
sweetie.
1595
01:10:51,960 --> 01:10:53,462
Clifford wooley.
1596
01:10:53,462 --> 01:10:54,463
Mr. Wooley.
1597
01:10:54,463 --> 01:10:55,464
Nice to meet you.
1598
01:10:55,464 --> 01:10:56,465
Allan pearl.
1599
01:10:56,465 --> 01:10:57,966
You... you make me laugh.
1600
01:10:57,966 --> 01:11:00,969
Oh, it's a delight
to meet you, sir.
1601
01:11:00,969 --> 01:11:03,972
Well, i'm sure that
mr. Guffman would like
1602
01:11:03,972 --> 01:11:06,475
to say a few words to us.
1603
01:11:06,475 --> 01:11:07,976
Hear, hear!
1604
01:11:07,976 --> 01:11:10,479
Speech,
speech, speech!
1605
01:11:10,479 --> 01:11:12,481
I think there's
some mistake.
1606
01:11:12,481 --> 01:11:13,982
My name is loomis.
Roy loomis.
1607
01:11:13,982 --> 01:11:15,484
I'm down from deming.
1608
01:11:15,984 --> 01:11:17,486
I came down, my niece
had her first baby.
1609
01:11:17,486 --> 01:11:18,987
Yeah, it's a boy.
1610
01:11:18,987 --> 01:11:21,490
That's what
the balloon is for.
1611
01:11:21,490 --> 01:11:23,992
I just wanted
to tell you
1612
01:11:23,992 --> 01:11:26,495
how just absolutely
wonderful you all were.
1613
01:11:26,495 --> 01:11:30,999
And thank you. And
i'll be seeing you.
1614
01:11:30,999 --> 01:11:34,503
And bless you.
He's gonna love this.
1615
01:11:34,503 --> 01:11:35,504
oh, boy.
1616
01:11:44,012 --> 01:11:47,516
Take our
makeup off. Ahem.
1617
01:12:06,034 --> 01:12:08,036
"Snowstorm in new york.
1618
01:12:08,036 --> 01:12:11,540
"All flights canceled.
1619
01:12:11,540 --> 01:12:14,543
Mort guffman."
1620
01:12:35,230 --> 01:12:39,234
I think the one really
important thing that i learned
1621
01:12:39,234 --> 01:12:43,739
uh, from my whole experience
in working with corky,
1622
01:12:43,739 --> 01:12:50,746
is that
i do indeed have talent.
1623
01:12:51,246 --> 01:12:53,749
And a couple of things,
actually.
1624
01:12:53,749 --> 01:12:59,254
"B"...i have to entertain.
1625
01:12:59,254 --> 01:13:00,756
I have to entertain.
1626
01:13:01,256 --> 01:13:05,260
And you have to go
where you are needed,
1627
01:13:05,761 --> 01:13:07,262
you have to go where
the crowds are,
1628
01:13:07,262 --> 01:13:13,769
and you have to go
where the love is.
1629
01:13:13,769 --> 01:13:16,772
And the love, for me,
right now
1630
01:13:16,772 --> 01:13:18,774
is in miami.
1631
01:13:18,774 --> 01:13:20,275
Not blaine.
1632
01:13:20,275 --> 01:13:22,277
My bubbee made
a kishke
1633
01:13:22,277 --> 01:13:24,279
She made it
big and fat
1634
01:13:24,279 --> 01:13:25,781
My sadie took
one look at it
1635
01:13:25,781 --> 01:13:27,282
And said,
"i can't eat that!"
1636
01:13:27,282 --> 01:13:29,284
Oh, mama, mama, mama
1637
01:13:29,284 --> 01:13:32,788
Oh, mama, me, oh, my
1638
01:13:32,788 --> 01:13:35,290
Well, here we are
in the land of dreams,
1639
01:13:35,791 --> 01:13:38,293
and don't let anybody tell you
dreams can't come true.
1640
01:13:38,293 --> 01:13:40,295
We're an hour from the snow,
1641
01:13:40,295 --> 01:13:42,297
we're 20 minutes
from the ocean,
1642
01:13:42,297 --> 01:13:44,299
2 hours from the mexico.
1643
01:13:44,299 --> 01:13:46,301
5 hours from vegas.
1644
01:13:46,301 --> 01:13:48,303
And we're gonna get there
one of these days.
1645
01:13:48,303 --> 01:13:49,304
Soon as we get a car.
1646
01:13:49,304 --> 01:13:52,307
We don't have a car yet. Who
wants to add to the pollution?
1647
01:13:52,307 --> 01:13:54,309
We consider ourselves
bl-coastal if you consider
1648
01:13:54,309 --> 01:13:57,813
the mississippi river
one of the coasts.
1649
01:13:58,313 --> 01:13:59,815
Wo Extras, let's go.
Over here.
1650
01:13:59,815 --> 01:14:01,817
All right. Time
to get back to work.
1651
01:14:01,817 --> 01:14:03,318
That's what they're
paying us for.
1652
01:14:03,318 --> 01:14:05,320
Can't they even refer
to us by name?
1653
01:14:05,320 --> 01:14:07,823
Why can't they say,
"ron, sheila,
1654
01:14:07,823 --> 01:14:08,824
we're this way,
please"?
1655
01:14:09,324 --> 01:14:11,326
Still the same paycheck,
honey. How you doing?
1656
01:14:11,326 --> 01:14:12,327
All right.
1657
01:14:12,327 --> 01:14:13,829
You're doing a great
job, incidentally.
1658
01:14:13,829 --> 01:14:15,831
Face towards the camera
and smile.
1659
01:14:15,831 --> 01:14:17,332
Are you gonna smile?
1660
01:14:17,332 --> 01:14:19,334
I think we should
have a line.
1661
01:14:19,334 --> 01:14:20,836
I gave him some suggestions.
He didn't want to hear...
1662
01:14:20,836 --> 01:14:22,838
we should be
line-dancing.
1663
01:14:22,838 --> 01:14:23,839
That's a great idea.
1664
01:14:24,339 --> 01:14:25,841
Quiet, please!
1665
01:14:25,841 --> 01:14:27,843
Get your finger up.
Keep smiling.
1666
01:14:27,843 --> 01:14:31,346
Quiet, please.
1667
01:14:31,346 --> 01:14:32,848
I was on
my way to new york,
1668
01:14:32,848 --> 01:14:35,851
and then my dad
got out of prison.
1669
01:14:35,851 --> 01:14:38,854
Which is good.
1670
01:14:38,854 --> 01:14:40,355
He was supposed to be
in there for 10 years,
1671
01:14:40,856 --> 01:14:42,858
but i guess since
he didn't kill anybody,
1672
01:14:42,858 --> 01:14:47,362
he just... ruined
some property,
1673
01:14:47,362 --> 01:14:49,865
that they let him out
after 5.
1674
01:14:49,865 --> 01:14:53,869
So, it's... i'm here
with my dad.
1675
01:14:53,869 --> 01:14:57,372
And, um...
1676
01:14:57,372 --> 01:14:59,374
i've been thinking
of ice cream and stuff
1677
01:14:59,374 --> 01:15:00,876
and what i could do
with it.
1678
01:15:00,876 --> 01:15:04,880
Maybe... we have a blizzard
and we have a breeze.
1679
01:15:04,880 --> 01:15:06,882
We have derbies.
1680
01:15:06,882 --> 01:15:08,884
The derbies are really old.
1681
01:15:09,384 --> 01:15:11,887
They've been doing derbies...
the chocolate dip...
1682
01:15:11,887 --> 01:15:15,390
for, i think 20 years
or something.
1683
01:15:15,390 --> 01:15:19,394
I really want to sort of
make a healthy
1684
01:15:19,394 --> 01:15:23,899
low-fat or non-fat, um...
1685
01:15:23,899 --> 01:15:26,902
healthy...
1686
01:15:27,402 --> 01:15:28,403
blizzard.
1687
01:15:28,862 --> 01:15:30,906
The first thing i did
1688
01:15:31,406 --> 01:15:34,409
when i moved back
to new york city,
1689
01:15:34,409 --> 01:15:36,411
was to look up mr. Guffman.
1690
01:15:36,912 --> 01:15:39,414
And he was so sweet,
1691
01:15:39,414 --> 01:15:41,416
and i think he felt
a little guilty, too,
1692
01:15:41,416 --> 01:15:43,418
because he's
offered me the chance
1693
01:15:43,418 --> 01:15:45,921
to audition for
his new broadway show
1694
01:15:45,921 --> 01:15:48,924
which is a revival
ofmy fair lady.
1695
01:15:48,924 --> 01:15:50,926
It's one of my favorite
shows of all time.
1696
01:15:50,926 --> 01:15:54,930
And the role is
of 'enry 'iggins,
1697
01:15:54,930 --> 01:15:57,933
the somewhat-
stern-taskmaster-
1698
01:15:57,933 --> 01:16:00,936
but-he-really-likes-her-
anyway-kind-of-thing guy
1699
01:16:00,936 --> 01:16:03,939
who teaches eliza
to speak correctly.
1700
01:16:03,939 --> 01:16:06,942
And she of course is of
the cockney persuasion
1701
01:16:07,442 --> 01:16:08,944
and drops her hs.
1702
01:16:08,944 --> 01:16:10,445
And i've been
working on that at home,
1703
01:16:10,946 --> 01:16:13,949
the whole cockney thing of,
"'ello, 'ow are 'oo?"
1704
01:16:13,949 --> 01:16:15,951
"Do you want
to go to 'artford?"
1705
01:16:15,951 --> 01:16:19,454
"Not live in this 'ell'ole."
And that kind of thing.
1706
01:16:19,454 --> 01:16:21,957
I think i'm honing in on it
pretty close now.
1707
01:16:21,957 --> 01:16:25,961
And i suppose that
the cake-and-eat-it-too part
1708
01:16:25,961 --> 01:16:27,462
of this whole story
1709
01:16:27,462 --> 01:16:29,965
is that another dream
of mine has come true,
1710
01:16:29,965 --> 01:16:32,467
which is that i've gotten
to open this shop...
1711
01:16:32,467 --> 01:16:35,971
where i have all
my show business treasures
1712
01:16:35,971 --> 01:16:37,973
and all my memorabilia.
1713
01:16:37,973 --> 01:16:41,476
This is without a doubt,
one of my favorite items.
1714
01:16:41,476 --> 01:16:45,981
Um, my dinner with andre
action figures,
1715
01:16:45,981 --> 01:16:48,483
and what you can do,
which is so cute,
1716
01:16:48,483 --> 01:16:51,987
is you can reenact
the whole scene.
1717
01:16:51,987 --> 01:16:55,991
You know, where the two guys
talk to each other
1718
01:16:55,991 --> 01:16:57,492
and say, you know...
1719
01:16:57,492 --> 01:17:00,495
"boy, i'm sure glad
you found a good restaurant.
1720
01:17:00,495 --> 01:17:02,497
"You know, it's so hard
these days to get in.
1721
01:17:02,497 --> 01:17:04,499
Who do you know?"
1722
01:17:04,499 --> 01:17:06,502
"Oh, i just called.
1723
01:17:06,502 --> 01:17:09,505
Made a call.
Spur of the moment."
1724
01:17:09,505 --> 01:17:13,008
"Ha ha! Oh, you, you can
always get a reservation."
1725
01:17:13,509 --> 01:17:16,512
You know.
That's not from the movie,
1726
01:17:16,512 --> 01:17:18,013
but you can make up
your own dialogue,
1727
01:17:18,013 --> 01:17:20,015
which is one of the great things
about action figures.
1728
01:17:20,015 --> 01:17:22,893
I'm trying to get...
it's very rare...
1729
01:17:22,893 --> 01:17:26,897
the one... the action figures
fordas boot,
1730
01:17:27,397 --> 01:17:30,901
'cause i love to do that
whole claustrophobic thing
1731
01:17:31,401 --> 01:17:33,904
inside the sub
where they're, you know,
1732
01:17:33,904 --> 01:17:36,406
"das kande,
das mushtenstein."
1733
01:17:36,406 --> 01:17:37,407
That whole german thing.
1734
01:17:37,908 --> 01:17:39,910
Can't speak german,
but it sounds like
1735
01:17:39,910 --> 01:17:42,412
sort of a bunch
of barnyard animals,
1736
01:17:42,412 --> 01:17:45,415
"muck, muck, muck,"
making that noise and sweatir.
1737
01:17:45,415 --> 01:17:49,920
Uh, over here,
these are my big heads,
1738
01:17:49,920 --> 01:17:52,923
i call 'em, starting
with anthony michael hall,
1739
01:17:52,923 --> 01:17:55,425
one of the brat packers.
1740
01:17:55,425 --> 01:17:57,928
In fact,
in the background there,
1741
01:17:57,928 --> 01:17:59,930
there's andrew mccan'thy.
1742
01:18:00,430 --> 01:18:04,434
Over here, some new lunchboxes
we've gotten in,
1743
01:18:04,434 --> 01:18:06,436
the remains of the day
lunchbox,
1744
01:18:06,436 --> 01:18:08,438
and the kids,
they're just having
1745
01:18:08,438 --> 01:18:10,440
such a good time
with these, you know.
1746
01:18:10,440 --> 01:18:12,943
Kids don't like
eating lunch at school,
1747
01:18:12,943 --> 01:18:14,945
but if they're got
aremains of the daylunchbox,
1748
01:18:14,945 --> 01:18:16,446
they're a whole lot happier.
1749
01:19:18,509 --> 01:19:21,512
Captioning made possible by
warner bros.
1750
01:19:21,512 --> 01:19:24,515
Captioned by the national
captioning institute
- www.ncicap.org...
1751
01:22:56,727 --> 01:22:59,730
There's
not much pleasure
1752
01:22:59,730 --> 01:23:04,234
But not much pain
1753
01:23:04,234 --> 01:23:07,738
'cause
nothir ever happens
1754
01:23:07,738 --> 01:23:12,743
Zero ever happens
1755
01:23:12,743 --> 01:23:16,747
Bupkiss ever happens
1756
01:23:17,247 --> 01:23:19,249
In...
1757
01:23:28,258 --> 01:23:34,264
Blaine
124745
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