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1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,270
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
This is Shelly.
Leave a message after the...
2
00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:05,800
* Do, re, mi, fa,
so, la, ti... *
3
00:00:05,833 --> 00:00:07,233
(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
4
00:00:07,267 --> 00:00:10,627
I'm just phoning... If, erm...
5
00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:14,497
If you think there's
any chance of us
getting back together,
6
00:00:14,533 --> 00:00:16,703
just give me a sign.
7
00:00:16,733 --> 00:00:18,033
(DOORBELL RINGS)
8
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:20,370
Oh. What are you two
doing here?
9
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,530
I have that tree-hugging
retreat thing, remember?
10
00:00:22,567 --> 00:00:24,397
You said Roly could
stay over the weekend.
11
00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:26,003
Yeah, I didn't think
you were being serious.
12
00:00:26,033 --> 00:00:28,203
My flat's not really
child-proofed.
13
00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:30,003
There's rusty nails
everywhere.
14
00:00:30,033 --> 00:00:31,373
He's had his tetanus jab.
15
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,230
Oh, come on.
How can you say no
to this face?
16
00:00:39,433 --> 00:00:40,673
What's with the giant bag?
17
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:42,230
He's only going to be
staying for three days.
18
00:00:42,267 --> 00:00:44,467
That's his tent.
He brings it to
all of his sleepovers.
19
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:45,530
It keeps him safe.
20
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:46,797
What from? Jaguars?
21
00:00:46,833 --> 00:00:49,273
Germs.
I wrote a song about it.
Do you want to hear?
22
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,470
Maybe a bit later.
23
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:51,930
Why don't you go
and wash your hands, darling?
24
00:00:51,967 --> 00:00:54,627
Thanks for doing this.
I feel really guilty
leaving him.
25
00:00:54,667 --> 00:00:58,067
But my lawyer
and my therapist say that
I need to centre myself,
26
00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:00,500
so I'm not a mess during
the custody verdict next week.
27
00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:03,833
So, if I try calling,
don't answer me.
I need tough love.
28
00:01:03,867 --> 00:01:05,697
Tough love's my speciality.
29
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,133
(GROANS) Shelly's stopped
talking to me.
30
00:01:08,167 --> 00:01:09,967
What is it with you?
Why do you only fall in love
31
00:01:10,067 --> 00:01:11,667
after you've
ruined things horribly?
32
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:14,370
I guess I'm just...
Romantic that way?
33
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,370
What is it with the mints?
34
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,570
(SIGHS) I don't know.
He's on an oral hygiene kick.
35
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:24,600
Anyway, I've got to go.
I love you, munchkin! Mwah!
36
00:01:25,633 --> 00:01:26,903
Call me if you need anything.
37
00:01:26,933 --> 00:01:28,603
Like child-sized body bags?
38
00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:32,567
I made a schedule
for the next three days.
39
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,800
-You've laminated it.
-I have a machine.
40
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:37,903
It's got everything on it.
Meal times, bedtimes,
poo times.
41
00:01:37,933 --> 00:01:39,403
What are we
meant to be doing now?
42
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,573
"Explain schedule to Andy."
43
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,270
Tomorrow we've
got the planetarium.
44
00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:43,970
They've got
a black hole exhibit.
45
00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:45,767
You want to know about
black holes? Take a look
at my bank account.
46
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:46,900
How are we going to
afford all that?
47
00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:48,903
Mum gave me some pocket money.
48
00:01:48,933 --> 00:01:50,703
Probably best if you
let me hang on to that.
49
00:01:50,733 --> 00:01:53,303
No. You'll just waste it
on beer and cigarettes.
50
00:01:53,333 --> 00:01:55,203
Now, I've got
biology homework to do,
51
00:01:55,233 --> 00:01:58,073
so I'm going to need
total peace and quiet.
52
00:01:58,067 --> 00:01:59,697
(VIDEO GAME BLARING)
53
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,500
Can you turn that
down a bit, please?
54
00:02:03,533 --> 00:02:06,573
Killing zombies quietly,
it's like trying to
fart daintily.
55
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:07,900
It can't be done.
56
00:02:07,933 --> 00:02:09,373
Why don't you have a go?
57
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,570
You haven't lived
until you've blown
a zombie's brains out.
58
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,270
-If I do, will you buy me
sushi for dinner?
-If you kill 20 zombies.
59
00:02:16,367 --> 00:02:19,627
Yeah. That is run
and that is fire.
60
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,770
You've taken to that
like a zombie... To brains.
61
00:02:33,767 --> 00:02:36,727
How are you feeling
about the custody verdict?
62
00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:39,627
You're just trying to
distract me so you won't
have to pay for the sushi.
63
00:02:39,667 --> 00:02:41,327
No, I'm serious.
I mean, basically,
64
00:02:41,367 --> 00:02:43,627
you've got a judge
that's going to come along,
65
00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:47,367
and decide on your whole
future living schedule, right?
66
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,470
And we all know how much you
love a schedule.
67
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:52,200
I don't mind really,
as long as Mum and Dad
are happy.
68
00:02:52,233 --> 00:02:54,473
Yeah, but what makes
you happy?
69
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,400
I don't know.
What makes you happy?
70
00:02:57,267 --> 00:02:59,067
Bingo. 20 zombies.
71
00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:01,333
Yeah, hmm.
72
00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:03,427
-(MOBILE RINGS)
-Hang on.
73
00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:04,627
-Hello?
-WOMAN: Hi, is this Andy King?
74
00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:06,627
-Yes.
-(WOMAN CONTINUES
INDISTINCTLY)
75
00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,067
Yes.
76
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,870
Right now?
77
00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:11,730
I mean, yeah, we can.
78
00:03:12,433 --> 00:03:13,633
Okay. Thanks.
79
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,273
That was Rage Records.
That was Rage Records!
80
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:21,800
I sent them a demo
and a clip of us playing,
and Mo Khan at Rage Records,
81
00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:24,603
he wants us to
come in right now
for a meeting with them.
82
00:03:24,633 --> 00:03:26,803
-Who's Mo Khan?
-Mo Khan of Rage Records!
83
00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:31,073
He's like the Simon Cowell
of Rage Records,
only without the moobs.
84
00:03:31,067 --> 00:03:32,597
I mean, if he tweets
about us once,
85
00:03:32,633 --> 00:03:34,573
then we are pretty much
automatically famous.
86
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,070
But I can't.
I haven't finished
my biology homework.
87
00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:38,627
Rage Records!
88
00:03:38,667 --> 00:03:41,297
I have sacrificed
my entire weekend for you.
89
00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:42,933
If you come with me
and do this,
90
00:03:42,967 --> 00:03:44,797
I will buy you
all the sushi in Tokyo.
91
00:03:46,833 --> 00:03:49,673
ANDY: If they
offer drinks, say yes.
Always say yes to drinks.
92
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:51,230
What if I'm not thirsty?
93
00:03:51,267 --> 00:03:54,927
Right, that brings me to
my next point. Don't be weird.
94
00:03:54,967 --> 00:03:56,797
Weird? How am I weird?
95
00:04:02,833 --> 00:04:05,073
-Do you think they'd like to
hear my germ song?
-No.
96
00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:08,397
We're not playing anything.
Never play at meetings.
It looks desperate.
97
00:04:08,433 --> 00:04:09,673
Mr Khan will see you now.
98
00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:12,630
Okay, most important of all,
99
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:15,227
remember, be cool.
100
00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:18,097
(MINTS FALL ON THE FLOOR)
101
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,270
MO: Yeah. This is the one.
102
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:24,300
'Cos it's fucked up
and I love it.
Oh, shit. Gotta go.
103
00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:26,633
Yo! Errol and Andy.
The Bare Maximum.
104
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,867
Can Trix get you guys a drink?
Orange juice? Coke? Vodka?
105
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:31,130
You look like
a daytime drinker.
106
00:04:31,167 --> 00:04:32,367
Could I have coconut water,
please?
107
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,930
I'll have a Virgin Mary.
Easy on the virgin.
108
00:04:34,967 --> 00:04:36,667
Sit. Relax.
Make yourselves at home.
109
00:04:38,867 --> 00:04:40,297
Don't touch that.
110
00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:42,933
What do you think?
111
00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:45,227
Wow. I love that.
112
00:04:45,267 --> 00:04:46,867
Correct answer.
These guys are gonna be huge.
113
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,970
They're like
the Pet Shop Boys,
without all the gay stuff.
114
00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:51,127
Their new single's
called Man-gerie.
You should check it out.
115
00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:54,067
-Man-gerie?
-As in men's lingerie.
It's dope.
116
00:04:54,767 --> 00:04:55,897
Errol, you don't seem sold?
117
00:04:55,933 --> 00:04:57,603
(LAUGHS)
That's just his face.
118
00:04:57,633 --> 00:05:00,703
It's nothing.
It's just that picture
is a bit silly.
119
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:03,730
You're right.
120
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:07,070
So, what's the deal here?
Are you his dad?
121
00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:08,567
Um, I'm his uncle, actually.
122
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,130
Cool. You're like indie rock's
answer to LMFAO.
123
00:05:11,167 --> 00:05:14,597
Well, that sounds
LMFAO-wesome.
124
00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:17,303
You don't say much, do you?
125
00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:21,433
-I'm not weird.
-(LAUGHS) Can I just say, Mo,
126
00:05:21,467 --> 00:05:24,667
what an honour it would be
to be on your record label.
127
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:27,400
To be honest,
I wasn't 100% sold
on your demo.
128
00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:30,173
That's why I brought you in.
To hear the magic for myself.
129
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,500
Sorry. We don't have
our instruments with us.
130
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,973
No probs. We've got a guitar
and keyboard right over there,
131
00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:36,897
but you should probably go
warm up your voice.
132
00:05:36,933 --> 00:05:39,503
I never warm up for my voice.
133
00:05:39,533 --> 00:05:40,773
You should go warm up.
134
00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:45,530
Erm, sure.
135
00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:48,397
(CLEARS THROAT)
There's always a first
for everything.
136
00:05:52,067 --> 00:05:54,597
Can I get you anything else?
Cupcakes, bison burger,
137
00:05:54,633 --> 00:05:57,103
a bowl of Starmix with
all the orange and yellows
picked out?
138
00:05:57,133 --> 00:05:58,573
Do you have any mints?
139
00:06:00,433 --> 00:06:01,433
Keep them.
140
00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:02,567
I want to be honest
with you, kid.
141
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,230
I'm not interested
in The Bare Maximum.
142
00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:05,697
The name sucks
and the sound blows.
143
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:08,333
Do you know what
I am interested in, though?
144
00:06:09,467 --> 00:06:10,497
Coconuts?
145
00:06:10,533 --> 00:06:12,403
You. You're the
main attraction, my friend.
146
00:06:12,433 --> 00:06:14,073
When I saw you in that clip,
147
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:16,270
I knew I was looking at
the next Conor Maynard.
148
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:18,070
-Who?
-Exactly.
149
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:20,430
When I'm done with you,
you're going to blow the
competition out of the water.
150
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,267
I'm going to make
you a pop star.
151
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:25,800
Kid, I want to sign
you right now.
What do you say?
152
00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:27,133
But what about my uncle, Andy?
153
00:06:27,167 --> 00:06:29,227
Will you just forget
about your uncle a second?
154
00:06:29,267 --> 00:06:30,827
Think about you and
your whole family.
155
00:06:30,867 --> 00:06:34,067
You'll be able to buy your mom
a house, your dad a yacht,
156
00:06:34,067 --> 00:06:36,067
your uncle his own studio.
Hell, his own label!
157
00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:37,827
You'll all be happy.
158
00:06:37,867 --> 00:06:40,167
You're not going to
mess this up, you're not
going to mess this up.
159
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,500
You're not going to
mess this up.
160
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:45,733
Are you going to mess this up?
161
00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:48,227
If you go solo,
you'll be able to
write your own songs,
162
00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:49,667
pick your own sound.
163
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,100
You'll be rich and famous.
164
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:55,403
If your uncle really cares
about you, he'll man up
and step aside.
165
00:06:55,433 --> 00:06:59,773
So, what do you say?
You want to be a star?
166
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:04,270
Famous people have no privacy,
so how will I go
to the planetarium?
167
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:07,770
Kid, when I'm done with you,
you'll be able to buy
the planetarium.
168
00:07:10,767 --> 00:07:14,627
You won't regret this.
I'll have the contracts drawn
up for your parents to sign.
169
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:16,097
Do you want me
to break the news
to your uncle?
170
00:07:16,133 --> 00:07:18,373
No! I'll tell him.
He can be a bit sensitive.
171
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,270
All right, let's do this!
172
00:07:20,767 --> 00:07:22,267
You know what?
173
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:26,730
I have another meeting now,
but we're having a party
tomorrow night.
174
00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:28,527
You two should
definitely come.
175
00:07:28,567 --> 00:07:31,367
I could introduce you to some
people, keep this vibe going.
What do you say?
176
00:07:32,867 --> 00:07:35,067
* I'm fucking famous, bitch
177
00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:37,067
* I'm also stupid rich
178
00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:39,230
* You see my plan
you understand
179
00:07:39,267 --> 00:07:41,497
* Has gone without a hitch
180
00:07:41,533 --> 00:07:43,673
* I'm fucking living it
181
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:45,830
* I do not give a shit
182
00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:48,097
* I'm in the band
and in demand
183
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:50,503
* I'm fucking famous, bitch
184
00:07:50,533 --> 00:07:52,073
(RAPPING)
* It's been
a long time coming
185
00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:53,467
* And I've finally made it
186
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,300
* I've been busting my arse
and I'm finally famous
187
00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:57,403
* I've got the world
in my palms
Got the girls on my arms
188
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:59,703
* I'm the man with the plan
Better raise the alarm
189
00:07:59,733 --> 00:08:01,603
* This is to the pricks
that ever doubted my talent
190
00:08:01,633 --> 00:08:03,933
* I'm fucking
famouser than you
So it should be apparent
191
00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:05,967
* Every single dick
that ever said I was shit
192
00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:07,927
* Will be choking
on their words
when I'm spitting the hits
193
00:08:07,967 --> 00:08:10,197
* I'm getting absolutely
everything that I ever wanted
194
00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:12,603
* If you're a legend like me
Then you might as well
flaunt it
195
00:08:12,633 --> 00:08:14,733
* I got a gold record like an
over-achiever
196
00:08:14,767 --> 00:08:17,127
* I bought a gold car
and a golden retriever
197
00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:19,367
* I jump to the front
I don't know what a queue is
198
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,530
* Got a throne in my home
that I bought from John Lewis
199
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,497
* All of my clothes
are Abercrombie & Fitch
200
00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:27,273
* They don't even fit me
but I'm famous, bitch
201
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:31,470
* I am a millionaire
I live without a care
202
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:35,970
* I'm so well known
I'm fully grown
This is all my own hair
203
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:38,167
* I got the perfect pitch
204
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,370
* I sunk your battleship
205
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,700
* I've got the fame
you know my name
206
00:08:42,733 --> 00:08:44,773
* I'm fucking famous, bitch
207
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:50,070
(ANDY CONTINUES
HUMMING TO THE TUNE)
208
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,497
-Uncle Andy?
-Mmm?
209
00:08:55,533 --> 00:08:57,673
Would you still be happy
if you weren't famous?
210
00:08:57,700 --> 00:09:00,330
Well, I've tried
living the life of
an anonymous rock star,
211
00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:01,867
and it ain't pretty.
212
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:05,770
Do you know,
next week, I've got an
interview at Carpet Brothers.
213
00:09:06,467 --> 00:09:08,227
Carpet Brothers!
214
00:09:08,267 --> 00:09:10,427
That's how close
my life was to being over.
215
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:14,967
Every single music executive
that has ever turned me down
is going to be at that party,
216
00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:17,067
and I can't wait to see
the look on their faces
217
00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:23,067
when Mo Khan shows us off,
like his new girlfriend
with the big, massive tits.
218
00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:25,227
And, yes, they are real.
219
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:27,067
But do you know
the best part about this is?
220
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,927
We're going to be
doing this together.
221
00:09:29,967 --> 00:09:33,067
What were you
talking to Mo about
when I wasn't in the room?
222
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:35,227
Planetariums.
223
00:09:35,267 --> 00:09:37,627
(CHUCKLES)
What a couple of dorks!
224
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,730
(MIMICKING EXPLOSION)
225
00:09:40,767 --> 00:09:41,797
What do you think?
226
00:09:41,833 --> 00:09:43,403
You look like a vicar.
227
00:09:43,433 --> 00:09:46,203
I look like a domino.
I look like a
sexy, sexy domino.
228
00:09:46,233 --> 00:09:47,373
People love dominoes.
229
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,100
Domino's Pizza, Fats Domino...
230
00:09:49,133 --> 00:09:52,873
I don't think it's a good idea
buying an expensive suit
just for one night.
231
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,330
You said you were broke.
232
00:09:54,367 --> 00:09:56,067
Which is why
you're gonna be chipping in
with your pocket money.
233
00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:57,867
No way.
That's for the planetarium.
234
00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:00,100
What's more important?
Us looking good on the most
important night of our lives,
235
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,403
or going to some
planet aquarium?
236
00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:05,797
(MOBILE RINGS)
237
00:10:05,833 --> 00:10:08,203
-Yep?
-I told you not to answer
if I called.
238
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:09,903
Shh.
239
00:10:09,933 --> 00:10:12,503
-So, why did you call then?
-To see if you'd answer.
How's Roly? Is he missing me?
240
00:10:12,533 --> 00:10:13,833
Have you been to the
black hole exhibit?
241
00:10:13,867 --> 00:10:15,467
The little fella had
some bad sushi last night.
242
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,470
We're kind of
taking it easy today.
243
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:18,930
(MOANING)
244
00:10:18,967 --> 00:10:21,127
Oh, no.
Does he want me to come home?
I can be there in 45 minutes.
245
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:22,527
-Shh!
-(WHISPERING) You shush!
246
00:10:22,567 --> 00:10:24,127
No, he's fine.
I've got it under control.
247
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:26,627
-How are things with you?
-Oh, yeah, great.
It's really relaxing.
248
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,767
I have to find my tree tonight
and bond with it.
249
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,670
So, I'll basically
just be hugging
a giant wooden penis.
250
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,300
-Shh!
-(SCOFFS)
251
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,973
Well, watch out for splinters.
252
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,600
Oh, better run.
Roly's sushi looks like
it's coming up for an encore.
253
00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:39,373
-(MOANING)
-Bye!
254
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,200
-(MOBILE BEEPS)
-Shh!
255
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,630
(SATISFACTION PLAYING)
256
00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:51,597
Errol!
257
00:10:55,967 --> 00:10:58,197
ERROL: This is stupid.
258
00:10:58,233 --> 00:11:00,433
I feel like a
ventriloquist's dummy.
259
00:11:00,467 --> 00:11:02,827
This is marketing.
We're in a band.
260
00:11:02,867 --> 00:11:04,367
That's like being in
the cool gang.
261
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,370
You look like
a tiny ringleader.
262
00:11:08,633 --> 00:11:11,833
Those people shouldn't
be smoking cigarettes.
It's a fire hazard.
263
00:11:11,867 --> 00:11:14,067
Don't worry.
They're not smoking
cigarettes.
264
00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:16,967
-How long do we have to stay?
-As long as it takes to get
a signed recording contract.
265
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:19,067
Kaboom!
Look who just walked in.
266
00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,197
Y'all look like
two swagged-up lion tamers.
267
00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:22,573
So, how'd the talk go?
268
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,330
ANDY:
We've discussed it and...
269
00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:27,067
The Bare Maximum is ready
to sign on the dotted line.
270
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,670
Wow.
I don't know what to say.
271
00:11:30,633 --> 00:11:32,803
Just say yes.
272
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:35,103
-Hey.
-Hey!
273
00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:37,173
Errol, Andy,
this is Fresh Keyz.
274
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,470
-Fresh is the
hottest producer right now.
-Oh, thanks.
275
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,830
-Tell 'em who you just
got out the studio with.
-Dizzee.
276
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,527
And now he's bonkers.
277
00:11:43,567 --> 00:11:44,827
Nice to meet you, Fresh.
278
00:11:44,867 --> 00:11:47,067
My name's Andy King.
I'm the lead vocalist
and songwriter.
279
00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:48,827
-Yeah, I'm familiar
with your work.
-Really?
280
00:11:48,867 --> 00:11:52,167
I caught one of your gigs.
Really liking those
lo-fi sounds.
281
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,930
I could...
Fresh kiss you right now.
282
00:11:54,967 --> 00:11:57,497
This is the kid
I was telling you about.
He's like a mini Mozart.
283
00:11:57,533 --> 00:11:59,773
I hope not.
Mozart died at the age of 35.
284
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,300
(LAUGHING)
285
00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:05,827
Someone's been on
Wikipedia too much.
286
00:12:05,867 --> 00:12:07,797
Beats and brains. I love it.
287
00:12:07,833 --> 00:12:10,833
Rol-dog, let's leave
these sound nerds to it, huh?
288
00:12:10,867 --> 00:12:13,067
Hey, want to check out
the ice cream bar
I had put in?
289
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:15,197
Oh! No can do.
He's lactose intolerant.
290
00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:17,973
It's okay, Uncle Andy.
I'm sure they'll have sorbet.
291
00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:20,327
Man, you have got to tell him
before it gets embarrassing.
292
00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:23,367
What are your views
on digital versus analogue?
293
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:27,170
Well, digital's very cool
right now, but analogue...
294
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,470
SHELLY: Sex on the Beach?
295
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:31,070
FRESH: Whoa, (CHUCKLES)
don't mind if I do.
296
00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:32,297
(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)
297
00:12:34,867 --> 00:12:36,467
-I'll be right back!
-No, it...
298
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,070
Welcome to the VIP room.
299
00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:40,167
-Your coconut, sir.
-Thank you.
300
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,870
These are the hit makers.
301
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:46,400
I invited guys from MTV,
XFM, Radio 1, Radio 2,
even Radio 4.
302
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,703
They begged.
They're all here for you.
303
00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:52,073
You're my King Kong.
I discovered you,
and now I'm bringing you home.
304
00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:53,667
Didn't King Kong die
at the end?
305
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:56,430
But he climbed the
Empire State Building first.
Hey, look.
306
00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:00,200
We even made T-shirts.
307
00:13:00,233 --> 00:13:01,633
Guys, listen up.
308
00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:04,097
I haven't been this excited
about a new act
309
00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:06,533
since I caught a flash
of Florence's "machine".
310
00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:07,627
(LAUGHTER)
311
00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:10,367
Forget Bieber, forget Kanye.
I give you...
312
00:13:10,933 --> 00:13:12,073
Errol!
313
00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:13,427
(CHEERING)
314
00:13:13,467 --> 00:13:15,467
-Shelly, Shelly, Shelly, wait!
-Did you follow me here?
315
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:19,700
No. Actually, me and Errol
were personally invited
here by Mo Khan.
316
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:22,303
Yeah, right. You can't come up
with a better lie than that?
317
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,203
No, it's true.
I think he's going to sign us.
318
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:26,333
Well, good for you.
319
00:13:26,367 --> 00:13:28,927
You deserve it
for being such a great guy.
320
00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:33,567
Shelly, wait. What are you
doing here? Since when
were you a waitress?
321
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,600
Since a friend called to
tell me there was a
catering spot at a Rage party.
322
00:13:36,633 --> 00:13:39,833
And because, if you'd spent
one second listening
while we were together,
323
00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:43,197
you'd have heard me talk
about my dreams of becoming
a signed recording artist.
324
00:13:43,233 --> 00:13:45,073
-Oh, mini pizzas.
-(SIGHS)
325
00:13:45,067 --> 00:13:48,367
Shelly, wait! I can help.
Let me introduce you to
Fresh Keyz.
326
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,930
He's this hotshot producer.
327
00:13:49,967 --> 00:13:54,297
Oh, my God.
You'd do that for me?
That is so sweet.
328
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,433
I mean, I'm sure you wouldn't
expect anything in return,
329
00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:58,667
like pathetic make-up sex,
now, would you?
330
00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:02,530
I was thinking more
"hot and steamy",
but I'll take "pathetic".
331
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:07,070
(MOBILE RINGS)
332
00:14:08,633 --> 00:14:10,533
You're making
this tough-love thing
really hard.
333
00:14:10,567 --> 00:14:12,767
-(RHYTHMIC DRUMMING)
-I know. I'm sorry.
I'm having Roly withdrawals.
334
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,730
Can you put him on, please?
I need to hear his voice.
335
00:14:14,767 --> 00:14:16,227
What's that drumming?
336
00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:17,727
Ugh! It's supposed to be
guiding me
to my special tree,
337
00:14:17,767 --> 00:14:20,527
but it's doing my head in.
Where are you?
It sounds like a party.
338
00:14:20,567 --> 00:14:22,767
Ah, no.
That's just my surround sound.
339
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,370
Watching The Hangover.
Vegas, baby!
340
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,800
Errol's brushing his teeth
right now, he can't talk now.
Bye.
341
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:30,803
Andy?
342
00:14:30,833 --> 00:14:34,303
Oh, there you are.
What kind of amp do you use?
343
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:36,433
I'm guessing you're
a Vox man, right?
344
00:14:36,467 --> 00:14:40,667
Erm, yeah. No, um, Marshall.
Have you seen Errol?
345
00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:42,370
I'm sure Mo's taking
good care of him.
346
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,630
You could trust him
with the royal baby.
(CHUCKLES)
347
00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:46,067
What's going on in there?
348
00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:48,067
Oh, just boring stuff.
349
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:50,070
Oh, you can't go in there.
350
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,500
It's VIP only.
351
00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:53,603
Well, if Errol's a VIP,
then I'm V-VIP.
352
00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:57,903
Seriously, I can't
let you in there.
He'll kill me.
353
00:14:57,933 --> 00:15:00,073
Fresh, what the fuck's
going on?
354
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,797
Look...
355
00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:04,733
My name's not Fresh.
It's Norman.
356
00:15:05,367 --> 00:15:06,267
I'm an intern.
357
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:08,100
Mo asked me to
keep you occupied.
358
00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:11,073
Occupied from what, Norman?
359
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,600
Who wants to hear what the
kid can do?
360
00:15:12,633 --> 00:15:14,173
(ALL CHEERING)
361
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,230
What's going on here?
362
00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:16,827
I'm sorry, Mo.
I tried to stop him.
363
00:15:16,867 --> 00:15:18,227
-You're fired.
-Oh!
364
00:15:18,267 --> 00:15:20,127
Dude, you were going to
find out sooner or later.
365
00:15:20,167 --> 00:15:21,767
I'm not signing you.
366
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,530
Fine. Come on, Errol.
367
00:15:23,567 --> 00:15:27,227
No. I'm not signing you.
I am signing him.
368
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:33,230
That's crazy, right? Errol?
That's crazy, yeah?
369
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:37,267
Sorry. I just can't sell this
drunk Elvis thing
you've got going on.
370
00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:40,073
But everyone loves Elvis.
371
00:15:40,067 --> 00:15:42,767
Young, cool Elvis.
Not peanut butter sandwich,
dead on the toilet Elvis.
372
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,470
You're not current
and you're definitely
not cool.
373
00:15:50,767 --> 00:15:52,067
Uncle Andy, wait!
374
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,070
You knew the whole time,
didn't you?
375
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:57,670
I wanted to tell you.
It's just with all the money,
376
00:15:57,700 --> 00:15:59,330
I could buy you
a record label.
377
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:01,197
And with Mum and Dad,
I can fix everything.
378
00:16:01,233 --> 00:16:03,103
I just want everyone
to be happy.
379
00:16:04,567 --> 00:16:06,197
I hope you're happy now.
380
00:16:16,133 --> 00:16:21,333
Um, this is a song I wrote,
called Silent Killer.
381
00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:22,727
Already sounds like a hit!
382
00:16:22,767 --> 00:16:24,497
(LAUGHTER)
383
00:16:24,533 --> 00:16:27,873
* Now we've all been told,
don't mix raw meat
with your veg
384
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,430
* Wash your bits
pits, and teeth
385
00:16:29,467 --> 00:16:31,327
* And your hands on the reg
386
00:16:31,367 --> 00:16:34,227
* Wipe down all surfaces
after the slaughter
387
00:16:34,267 --> 00:16:38,197
* And rinse your
cutting boards with
warm soapy water
388
00:16:38,233 --> 00:16:40,573
* Now you might ask,
"What's a little
blood splatter?"
389
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,800
* Well, health and safety
is no laughing matter
390
00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:49,403
* Unless you want
Salmonella, E. coli, Listeria,
and pink eye...
391
00:16:49,433 --> 00:16:51,133
Shelly, you like
my music, right?
392
00:16:51,167 --> 00:16:52,327
Not now, Andy.
393
00:16:52,367 --> 00:16:54,727
No, come on,
it's important. Please.
394
00:16:54,767 --> 00:16:55,967
You'd buy my album right?
395
00:16:56,067 --> 00:16:59,167
Honestly?
It's not really my thing.
396
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,070
But I wouldn't throw it away.
397
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:05,070
I mean, my nan's bought me
every Susan Boyle album,
and I've kept them all. So...
398
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:06,567
Oh, great.
399
00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:11,227
I'm, fucking, SuBo.
400
00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:12,867
* Sushi grade tuna is the
only kind of raw fish
401
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:14,430
* Anyone should ever
try to have in a raw dish
402
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,797
* Otherwise louses
rip off your tongue
403
00:17:15,833 --> 00:17:17,533
* While nematodes go swimming
round in your lung
404
00:17:17,567 --> 00:17:19,267
* Toxoplasmosis, you're
a zombie slave for cats
405
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:20,830
* And bubonic plague,
that's what you catch
from rats
406
00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:22,567
* And evil chickens,
they're the worst
of the bunch
407
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,470
* Plotting and planning on
how to spoil your lunch
408
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:29,600
* So, don't accept meat
from a dodgy looking fella
409
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:35,673
* Better yet, don't eat
So you won't get salmonella *
410
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,197
(FEEDBACK FROM THE MICROPHONE)
411
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:46,170
Errol, everyone!
Wasn't that great?
412
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,400
Smells like a number one.
413
00:17:48,433 --> 00:17:50,303
More like a number two.
What the hell was that?
414
00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:52,433
-I heard someone clapping.
-That was Radio 4!
415
00:17:52,467 --> 00:17:54,427
-Don't you know any Bieber?
-You said I could
do my own songs.
416
00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:57,097
Yeah, if they were about
kissing girls and sexting.
417
00:17:57,133 --> 00:17:58,533
Not kitchen hygiene!
418
00:17:58,567 --> 00:18:00,297
-Now play something cool.
-Kitchen hygiene is cool.
419
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:02,073
Not if you want
to go platinum.
420
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:04,200
Now, are you going to play
something else, or what?
421
00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:06,427
I don't want to go platinum.
422
00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:08,327
I want to go to
the planetarium.
423
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:12,933
Errol!
424
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,327
Rol-dog!
425
00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:17,827
I'm current.
Yeah, everything
moves in cycles.
426
00:18:17,867 --> 00:18:20,697
Bieber's just
the new David Cassidy.
427
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,673
Oh, you don't even
fucking know who
David Cassidy is.
428
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:27,700
Partridge Family. '70 to '74.
Best TV band.
429
00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:30,373
Aside from The Monkees.
Obviously.
430
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,900
-Davy Jones.
Yeah, he was the shit.
-Davy Jones.
431
00:18:32,933 --> 00:18:34,703
This is all my fault.
432
00:18:34,733 --> 00:18:37,833
I was the one
who checked out your demo
and recommended it to Mo.
433
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,927
I tried telling him
that you guys were
a good package,
434
00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:42,297
but he was only
interested in the kid.
435
00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:46,067
You recommended our demo?
436
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,670
Yeah. I thought it was solid.
437
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:50,070
I'd buy your album.
438
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:55,267
-Hi, Mum.
-SAM: Have you brushing
your teeth that whole time?
439
00:18:55,300 --> 00:19:00,330
-I keep telling you,
two minutes is enough.
-Mum, what makes you happy?
440
00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:02,627
New shoes,
comfortable bra.
441
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,127
I'm joking.
442
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:05,667
You make me happy.
443
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:06,830
Me? Why?
444
00:19:06,867 --> 00:19:09,267
Because you alphabetise
all my books,
445
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:12,600
and you tell me if
I'm wearing too much make-up,
446
00:19:12,633 --> 00:19:16,373
and you write the funniest
birthday cards.
447
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:20,130
Plus, you're really,
really good at picking
a ripe avocado.
448
00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:24,127
And you help me
finish crosswords
I have no business finishing.
449
00:19:24,767 --> 00:19:28,527
And because...
450
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:32,627
You are the only
thing in this world
I know I got right.
451
00:19:35,167 --> 00:19:37,067
-Night, Mum.
-Night, sweetheart.
452
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:43,600
(SNIFFLES, EXHALES)
453
00:19:59,467 --> 00:20:00,627
That's it, then.
454
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,767
I'm just going to
work in Carpet Brothers
and slowly die.
455
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,800
No, man. You're a musician.
456
00:20:06,833 --> 00:20:08,373
People need to
hear your music.
457
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:12,600
So, what you're saying is,
I'm not Carpet Brothers
material.
458
00:20:12,633 --> 00:20:14,603
-(LAUGHS)
-Hey, man.
Have you seen Errol?
459
00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:17,473
Yeah, he's about this tall
with no sense of loyalty.
460
00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:21,573
No, seriously.
He ran out on me,
and I've been looking for him
461
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,630
for like half an hour.
462
00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:23,927
Then who's watching him?
463
00:20:23,967 --> 00:20:27,697
Mo, you have to come with me.
This kid's being hilarious.
464
00:20:27,733 --> 00:20:29,733
(MUSIC PLAYING)
465
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,470
Errol, what are you doing?
466
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,470
Oh, hi, Uncle Andy.
I've invented a new
dance style.
467
00:20:41,967 --> 00:20:43,367
Andy, what's going on?
468
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,770
Errol, get off the floor.
You're going to get dirty.
469
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:49,570
Who cares about a few germs?
We're all germs really
if you think about it.
470
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,033
Your face looks like a Furby.
471
00:20:53,533 --> 00:20:54,803
(LAUGHTER)
472
00:20:54,833 --> 00:20:56,803
If I didn't know any better,
I'd say he's completely...
473
00:20:56,833 --> 00:20:58,333
Off his tits, yeah.
474
00:20:58,367 --> 00:21:01,367
Errol, darling, has anyone
given you anything to
drink or eat?
475
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,370
Only breath mints
from Mo's desk.
476
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,170
Didn't taste very nice though.
477
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:06,930
I keep my E in a mint tin.
478
00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:08,267
ANDY: What?
479
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,830
Yeah. Your nephew's
tripping balls on Ecstasy.
480
00:21:10,867 --> 00:21:12,627
Errol, how many mints
did you have?
481
00:21:12,667 --> 00:21:14,467
One, two, three, infinity.
482
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:16,500
Want to watch me move
through the Higgs Field?
483
00:21:16,533 --> 00:21:19,203
Higgs Bos-on!
Higgs Bos-off!
Higgs Bos-on!
484
00:21:19,233 --> 00:21:22,103
Damn! Kid's going to be
a legend after this.
485
00:21:22,667 --> 00:21:23,667
(GROANS)
486
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:25,730
What the hell, man?
487
00:21:25,767 --> 00:21:27,527
You were supposed to be
looking after him!
488
00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:28,667
He's not my kid!
489
00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:30,530
-What do we do?
-(ERROL HEAVING)
490
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:36,600
(BOTTLED UP TIGHT PLAYING)
491
00:22:10,767 --> 00:22:11,767
Thanks.
492
00:22:16,633 --> 00:22:18,133
Any news?
493
00:22:18,167 --> 00:22:21,267
He's in recovery now.
The nurse says he's
going to be fine.
494
00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:24,100
We can go and
see him in a little while.
495
00:22:24,133 --> 00:22:26,303
This is going to blow
the custody case.
496
00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:29,173
This happened on my time,
Andy. On my watch.
497
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,670
I trusted you to
take care of him.
498
00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:34,100
I know. I'm sorry.
499
00:22:34,133 --> 00:22:38,073
-I'll do whatever it takes to
make this better, I promise.
-How?
500
00:22:39,633 --> 00:22:41,403
It wasn't my fault.
501
00:22:41,433 --> 00:22:43,303
Who keeps their drugs
in a mint tin?
502
00:22:43,333 --> 00:22:45,503
Who takes a 12-year-old
to a party with drugs?
503
00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:50,403
I can explain.
504
00:22:50,433 --> 00:22:51,733
SAM: Ben, wait!
505
00:22:51,767 --> 00:22:54,467
Excuse me.
The family can come
through now.
506
00:22:57,433 --> 00:23:00,733
No, not you.
You're not going
anywhere near my son.
507
00:23:01,967 --> 00:23:03,067
Sam?
508
00:23:03,067 --> 00:23:04,667
Just go home, Andy.
509
00:23:06,567 --> 00:23:07,567
Shelly?
510
00:23:08,967 --> 00:23:10,797
-Where are you going?
-Home.
511
00:23:10,833 --> 00:23:12,273
You could stay.
512
00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:15,130
I never thought I'd say this,
but I think out of everyone
513
00:23:15,167 --> 00:23:16,627
you probably hate me
the least right now.
514
00:23:16,667 --> 00:23:19,597
Andy, I'm used to being the
crazy one in a relationship,
515
00:23:19,633 --> 00:23:23,073
but you, you just blow me
out of the water.
516
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,970
But it wasn't my fault.
517
00:23:27,067 --> 00:23:28,697
It was a little bit
your fault.
518
00:23:38,567 --> 00:23:39,767
(DOOR SHUTS)
519
00:23:59,133 --> 00:24:00,703
(MOBILE RINGS)
520
00:24:07,633 --> 00:24:10,873
Um, hey. How are you feeling?
521
00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:14,630
Good. No lasting brain damage.
But I'm still keeping
an eye on it.
522
00:24:14,667 --> 00:24:17,697
-Are you back at school yet?
-Yeah. They made me
a gluten-free cake.
523
00:24:17,733 --> 00:24:19,603
Is everyone this nice
when you have an overdose?
524
00:24:20,433 --> 00:24:21,833
I wish.
525
00:24:21,867 --> 00:24:23,067
Do you know of
the verdict yet?
526
00:24:23,067 --> 00:24:24,897
No. Your mum said 3:00.
527
00:24:24,933 --> 00:24:26,703
Well, can I come over
and play video games?
528
00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:29,133
MAN: Mr King?
529
00:24:30,433 --> 00:24:32,273
Look, I've got to go. Bye.
530
00:24:37,967 --> 00:24:41,297
-Would you say that you
work well with others?
-Definitely. People love me.
531
00:24:41,333 --> 00:24:44,073
At school I was voted
most likely to start a cult.
532
00:24:44,067 --> 00:24:47,067
What would you say is
like the toughest choice
you've ever had to make?
533
00:24:47,100 --> 00:24:49,100
Whopper or Big Mac.
I still can't decide.
534
00:24:49,133 --> 00:24:51,633
One of them's flame grilled,
the other one's
a double patty.
535
00:24:51,667 --> 00:24:53,197
It's like Sophie's Choice
in a way, isn't it?
536
00:24:53,233 --> 00:24:55,373
You've been working
as a babysitter.
How did that come about?
537
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,700
I got that gig through
a family connection.
538
00:24:57,733 --> 00:25:01,103
I can't handle kids,
personally. Don't have
the patience for them.
539
00:25:01,133 --> 00:25:02,703
I know what you mean.
540
00:25:02,733 --> 00:25:04,733
It's weird. I mean, one minute
you want to throw them
in the river,
541
00:25:04,767 --> 00:25:09,067
tied to a bag of rocks,
and the next minute
you find yourself
542
00:25:10,567 --> 00:25:15,297
doing the most
ridiculous things in order
to make them happy.
543
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,103
Excuse me.
544
00:25:28,733 --> 00:25:30,203
Objection!
545
00:25:30,233 --> 00:25:31,533
-Oh, shit.
-Oh, shit!
546
00:25:31,567 --> 00:25:32,867
We're in the middle
of a hearing.
547
00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:35,170
Your Honour, that's my sister
sitting right there.
548
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,600
And she doesn't deserve
to have her kid taken away
from her because of me.
549
00:25:38,633 --> 00:25:40,073
You know, I'm the fuck up.
550
00:25:40,067 --> 00:25:42,427
I'm a 31-year-old
nobody musician,
551
00:25:42,467 --> 00:25:46,967
who can't hold down a job
or a relationship.
552
00:25:47,067 --> 00:25:50,397
I lie for fun,
I hurt everyone I care about.
553
00:25:50,433 --> 00:25:53,303
I've used a sock
as toilet paper.
554
00:25:53,333 --> 00:25:55,203
On more than one occasion.
555
00:25:55,233 --> 00:25:59,133
I'm a shabby battering ram,
and it's my fault that
Errol ended up in hospital.
556
00:25:59,167 --> 00:26:01,427
It's my fault
and my fault alone.
557
00:26:01,467 --> 00:26:03,967
Don't punish Sam
'cos of my mistakes.
558
00:26:04,067 --> 00:26:06,297
She's a great mum,
and he's a great kid.
559
00:26:06,333 --> 00:26:08,273
You know, he's taught me
how to descale a kettle,
560
00:26:08,300 --> 00:26:10,170
the correct way
to fold T-shirts.
561
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,270
He's just taught me
the meaning of Homo erectus,
562
00:26:13,300 --> 00:26:16,100
and it's not what
you think it is.
563
00:26:16,133 --> 00:26:18,633
I swear, I won't go near
that kid again.
564
00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:22,170
Just don't ruin his childhood
because of me.
565
00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:25,133
He was just starting
to get normal.
566
00:26:27,067 --> 00:26:30,227
Um, the defence rests.
567
00:26:33,467 --> 00:26:34,597
SAM: Andy, wait!
568
00:26:36,467 --> 00:26:39,067
I'm sorry.
That was a bad idea.
569
00:26:39,100 --> 00:26:40,570
I think I've just made things
a lot worse.
570
00:27:07,567 --> 00:27:09,197
(DOORBELL RINGS)
571
00:27:13,367 --> 00:27:15,627
Roly, what are you doing here?
572
00:27:15,667 --> 00:27:17,327
You wouldn't return my calls.
573
00:27:17,367 --> 00:27:18,867
Sorry, mate.
The restraining order...
574
00:27:18,900 --> 00:27:20,200
Doesn't say anything
about calling.
575
00:27:20,233 --> 00:27:22,373
Seriously, you should go.
I mean, 200 metres.
576
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:23,900
We're already breaking
the law as it is.
577
00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:25,733
Since when do you
care about the law?
578
00:27:25,767 --> 00:27:27,097
I'm taking the bus home now.
579
00:27:27,133 --> 00:27:31,433
So, if you factor in traffic,
road works, delays,
580
00:27:31,467 --> 00:27:33,127
that could easily
give us an hour.
581
00:27:33,167 --> 00:27:34,627
An hour for what?
582
00:27:34,667 --> 00:27:35,697
(VIDEO GAME PLAYING)
583
00:27:35,733 --> 00:27:38,433
So, how are you doing?
584
00:27:38,467 --> 00:27:41,267
Yeah. Shared custody
isn't that bad, really.
585
00:27:42,267 --> 00:27:44,097
Mum and Dad are in
better moods now.
586
00:27:44,833 --> 00:27:47,133
Oh, I made a new schedule.
587
00:27:47,967 --> 00:27:49,197
Oh, yeah.
588
00:27:52,067 --> 00:27:53,367
It's good seeing you.
589
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:55,670
Yeah.
590
00:27:57,767 --> 00:27:59,197
Whatever.
591
00:27:59,233 --> 00:28:02,173
(ME AND YOU PLAYING)
46804
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