Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,940 --> 00:00:07,070
AW.
2
00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:08,144
AHH.
3
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:09,092
HUH.
4
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,042
STOP THE LEAK
BALLOON BOY.
5
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,514
I AIN'T MOVIN'.
6
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,982
OH, NO. I'M GREAT.
7
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,680
I LOVE WASTING MY
WHOLE LUNCH PERIOD
8
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:17,552
WATCHING YOU
HAVE A YAK-ATTACK
ALL OVER YOUR BLOG.
9
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:19,791
YOU COULD ALWAYS
WATCH INTERNET VIDEOS
10
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,087
WITH SPUD INSTEAD.
11
00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:23,058
HA HA HA HA!
HEH HEH!
12
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,917
HOW DOES THE MONKEY
KEEP FINDING
13
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:27,185
NEW PLACES
TO HIDE THE CHEESE?
14
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,634
PASS. JUST
BLOG IT ALL OUT,
15
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,659
AND WE'LL
HIT THE COURTYARD.
16
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,933
YOU CAN'T
RUSH PASSION, JAKEY.
17
00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:34,032
BLOGGING IS THE VOICE
OF OUR GENERATION.
18
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:36,535
THIS IS HOW WE GET UP
IN FRONT OF THE WORLD
19
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,367
AND SAY YO,
20
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,201
THIS IS WHERE WE STAND,
AND WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED.
21
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,837
WHAT KYLE WILKINS
WORE TODAY?
22
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,542
UNLESS KYLE'S WEARING
VINTAGE JEANS AND A MUSCLE TEE.
23
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,546
NOW THAT WILL MOVE ME.
MMM, MMM.
24
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,079
CALL THE MOVIN' VAN.
25
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,624
HEY. WHAT'S
GOIN' ON OUT THERE?
26
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:53,650
MONKEY HIDING CHEESE.
27
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,694
OH, PLEASE BE A MONKEY
HIDING CHEESE.
28
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,159
[STUDENTS LAUGHING]
29
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,158
Boy: OOH, OOH.
WAIT, WAIT.
30
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,660
BRADSTER'S GOT ONE
EVEN BETTER.
31
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,961
IN THE FOURTH GRADE,
FREDERICK BUTTERSLEEVES
32
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,703
HAD TO GO TO
THE NURSE'S OFFICE
33
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,628
WITH A CRICKET
UP HIS NOSE.
34
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,334
[LAUGHTER]
35
00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,835
IT WAS MY
SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT.
36
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,668
WE GOT A THUMB SUCKER!
37
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,573
Students: OOH!
38
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,455
BRAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
39
00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:18,339
THE BRADSTER TOTALLY
GANKED SOME
PERMANENT RECORDS
40
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:19,745
FROM ROTWOOD'S
OFFICE.
41
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,146
YOU GOT SOMEBODY YOU
WANNA BUY SOME DIRT ON?
42
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:24,018
THESE BABIES WILL HAVE THEIR
MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENTS
43
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,148
FROM PRESCHOOL
TO THIS MORNING.
44
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,193
THIS ISN'T FUNNY, GUYS.
45
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:28,948
PEOPLE GOT
PRIVATE STUFF IN THERE.
46
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:30,715
Boy: OH, COME ON, THIS IS GREAT!
Girl: IT IS TOO FUNNY.
47
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,014
Boy: COME ON, NOW,
THIS IS TOO GOOD!
48
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,289
YOU GOT PRIVATE
STUFF IN YOUR
RECORD, JERK LONG?
49
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,596
LET'S FIND OUT.
50
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:37,907
HEY, GIMME THAT!
51
00:01:37,914 --> 00:01:39,234
UH, THAT IS NOT
YOUR BUSINESS, BRAD.
52
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,203
LEAVE HIM ALONE!
53
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,281
HUH HO, CHECK IT!
54
00:01:41,284 --> 00:01:42,374
PERSONAL NOTES
FROM ROTWOOD.
55
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:45,699
A VERY IMPORTANT PLAYER
IN THE MAGICAL WORLD,
56
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:48,836
THANKS TO HIS SECRET
DOUBLE-LIFE AS A FIRE...
57
00:01:48,843 --> 00:01:51,143
BREATHING...DRAGON?
58
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:53,145
[ALL GASP]
59
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,982
¶ HE'S COOL ¶
60
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,683
¶ HE'S HOT
LIKE A FROZEN SUN ¶
61
00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,086
¶ HE'S YOUNG AND FAST ¶
62
00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:01,787
¶ HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ¶
63
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:04,759
¶ PEOPLE,
WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ¶
64
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:08,388
¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
65
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,655
¶ HE'S GONNA STOP
HIS ENEMIES ¶
66
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,004
¶ WITH HIS DRAGON POWER ¶
67
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:13,969
¶ DRAGON TEETH,
DRAGON TAIL ¶
68
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,198
¶ BURNIN' DRAGON FIRE ¶
69
00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:17,202
¶ A REAL LIVE WIRE ¶
70
00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:20,144
¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
71
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:23,137
¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
72
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,820
¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
73
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:31,681
¶ HIS SKILLS ARE
GETTIN' FASTER ¶
74
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,345
¶ WITH GRANDPA,
THE MASTER ¶
75
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:35,054
¶ HIS DESTINY
WELL, WHAT'S UP, G? ¶
76
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,215
¶ IT'S SHOWTIME, BABY,
FOR THE LEGACY ¶
77
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:38,464
¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
78
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:39,688
¶ I'M A DRAGON,
I'M NOT BRAGGIN' ¶
79
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,333
¶ IT'S MY DESTINY ¶
80
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:45,128
¶ I'M THE MAGICAL PROTECTOR
OF THE N.Y.C. ¶
81
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,202
YA HEARD!
82
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:54,911
¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶
83
00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:58,209
UH, ABOUT THAT
FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON STUFF--
84
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,342
I CAN EXPLAIN
EVERYTHING. SEE--
85
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,276
Brett: HA HA!
JERK LONG
86
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:02,512
THINKS HE'S SOME
KIND OF DRAGON
87
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,216
IN HIS OWN
MAKE PRETEND
FANTASY WORLD.
88
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,189
ALL ABOARD!
89
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,947
THE PIXIE LAND
EXPRESS. CUCKOO!
90
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,216
[LAUGHTER]
91
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,794
AT LEAST IT'S
A COVER STORY.
92
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,762
BUT YOU CAN'T--
I'M--I'M NOT--
93
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,730
IT'S PROBABLY JUST
ROTWOOD MAKING UP STORIES.
94
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:16,429
WHO CARES?
95
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,330
IT'S
HIL-A-RACIOUS!
96
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,032
AND IT'S
NOT ABOUT ME!
97
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,484
THIS DOESN'T
MAKE SENSE!
98
00:03:21,485 --> 00:03:22,935
HOW DID YOU
EVEN GET THESE
FROM ROTWOOD'S OFFICE?
99
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:25,797
[GERMAN ACCENT]
DID I LEAVE THOSE
FOLDERS SITTING OUT
100
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,366
WITH THE DOOR OPEN
101
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,944
AND JAKE LONG'S FILE
ON THE TOP
OF THE STACK, AGAIN?
102
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:31,483
ACH! WHAT A MAJOR
OOPSIE I HAVE COMMITTED.
103
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:35,048
ONE DAY'S DETENTION
FOR YOU NAUGHTY BOYS.
104
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,119
ONE DAY!
THAT'S ALL THEY GET?
105
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,467
OH, AND BY THE WAY,
STUDENTS,
106
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,819
NEXT WEEK,
WE WILL BE WORKING ON
CLASS MOSTS AND BESTS.
107
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:45,062
YOU KNOW, MOST LIKELY
TO SUCCEED, BEST HAIR,
108
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,489
BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK.
109
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,063
BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK.
110
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,492
SINCE WHEN IS
THAT A CATEGORY?
111
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,226
IT, UH, MUST HAVE
JUST BEEN ADDED.
112
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:53,202
HOW TOTALLY
COINCIDENTAL!
113
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,200
ANY NOMINATIONS?
114
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,201
JAKE LONG,
FOR BIGGEST
WEIRDO FREAK.
115
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,444
YEAH, JAKE LONG!
SECOND IT.
116
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,860
Boy: OH, YEAH.
117
00:04:00,857 --> 00:04:02,267
HA HA!
DEMOCRACY IN ACTION.
118
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:03,476
TA.
119
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,277
[GROANS]
120
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,253
YO, YOU WANTED
THOSE PUNKS
TO READ MY FILE.
121
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,749
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
122
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,350
ZE DOOR, PLEASE.
123
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:15,092
PERMIT ME TO BE
PERFECTLY FRANK
VITH YOU, MR. LONG.
124
00:04:15,089 --> 00:04:17,459
AS A YOUNG STUDENT
OF MAGICAL CREATURES,
125
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,418
I MADE
A PROMISE TO MYSELF.
126
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,056
I SWORE I WOULD
EXPOSE MY FIRST
MAGICAL CREATURE
127
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:26,033
TO THE WORLD BY MY
47th BIRTHDAY.
128
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,203
WHY 47th?
129
00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:28,821
WAS A TYPO.
130
00:04:28,818 --> 00:04:30,428
THAT BIRTHDAY
ARRIVES IN ONE WEEK.
131
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:33,107
YET, NOTHING TO SHOW
FOR MY LIFE'S VERK.
132
00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:34,937
OH, I HAVE HAD
MANY LEADS
OVER THE YEARS.
133
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:38,182
YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW CLOSE I AM
TO FINDING SOMEPLACE
134
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,048
CALLED THE MAGUS BAZAAR.
135
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,277
THE, UH,
BIZARRO WHAT NOW?
136
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,522
AND, OF COURSE,
I DID LEARN THAT
A CERTAIN YOUNG MAN
137
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,088
LIVES THE SECRET
LIFE OF A DRAGON.
138
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:48,987
BUT, AS WE HAVE SEEN,
139
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,089
[ROARS]
140
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:56,187
[SIGHS] YOU ARE
NOT SO EASILY EXPOSED.
141
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:59,496
SO, NOW WE PLAY DIRTY,
LIKE THE SWINEY PIGGIES, JA?
142
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,870
YOU THINK GETTING ME
NOMINATED FOR FREAK OF THE YEAR
143
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,339
IS GONNA PROVE I'M A DRAGON?
144
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:06,167
NO, BUT IT WILL
THROW YOU OFF YOUR GAME.
145
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,443
GET YOU TO
MAKE A MISTAKE--
146
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,411
DRAGON UP
AT ZE WRONG MOMENT.
147
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,910
AND WHEN YOU DO,
WHO WILL BE THERE
148
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:14,551
TO RECORD
THE EVIDENCE OF YOUR
TRUE MAGICAL NATURE?
149
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,748
HANS ROTWOOD!
150
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:18,949
ENJOY THE TEEN
GOSSIP MACHINE.
151
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:21,822
[GIGGLING AND WHISPERING]
152
00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:24,516
UH, HEY, LADIES.
153
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,825
GOSSIP SURE
TRAVELS FAST, HUH?
154
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,327
HA HA HA.
155
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,879
OH!
156
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,430
THERE'S A DUDE THAT
THINKS HE'S A DRAGON.
157
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,362
DOES HE BREATHE FIRE?
158
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:33,966
OH, HE'S GONNA FLY!
159
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,897
[LAUGHTER]
160
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:36,973
UH.
161
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:37,600
UHH.
162
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,274
JOIN US, BROTHER.
163
00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:40,973
[GASPS]
164
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,274
UHH.
165
00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:43,676
[GASPS]
166
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,077
FANTASY SECTION'S
OVER THERE, DRAGON BOY.
167
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:47,079
[GROANS] ROTWOOD, PUNK.
168
00:05:47,081 --> 00:05:50,621
MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A FREAK,
STUPID GOSSIP.
169
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,087
SPUD! WHERE
HAVE YOU BEEN, MAN?
170
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:54,987
UH, JUST A SEC, JAKE.
171
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,888
THEY GOT RAPPIN' BABIES
ON THE INTERNET NOW.
172
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,090
RAPPIN' BABIES!
173
00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:59,292
HA HA HA
HA HA HA!
174
00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:01,593
¶ MAMA, MAMA ¶
175
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,625
¶ BA BA BA BABA ¶
176
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,430
¶ MAMA! ¶
177
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:08,431
LOG ON, BLOG ON.
UNLOAD.
178
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,565
HMM.
179
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:13,873
Trixie: OOH-WHEE!
180
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,544
THAT IS A SERIOUS
BLOG SLAPPIN'
181
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,882
YOU'RE LAYIN' DOWN
ON ROTWOOD, BOY!
182
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,378
BUT ISN'T THIS
JUST GONNA MAKE
183
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:20,950
THE POPULARITY
BEAT-DOWN WORSE?
184
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,078
I MEAN, YOU CALLED
YOURSELF THE AMDRAG.
185
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,153
NOBODY AT SCHOOL EVEN
KNOWS WHAT THE AMDRAG IS.
186
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:28,352
BESIDES, THERE'S,
LIKE, HALF A MILLION
BLOGS OUT THERE.
187
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:29,485
WHO CARES ABOUT MINE?
188
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:32,060
Girl: HEY, SARAH,
CHECK THIS OUT.
189
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,229
COMING!
190
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,457
LOOKS LIKE
THE AMERICAN DRAGON
191
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:35,941
FINALLY
DISCOVERED CYBERSPACE.
192
00:06:35,945 --> 00:06:37,425
AND HE REALLY HATES
THIS GUY CALLED ROTWOOD.
193
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:39,431
I WONDER
WHAT HE'S SAYIN'
ON HIS BLOG.
194
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,333
I GOT
TO TAKE A LOOK.
195
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,504
WHAT SITE'S
SHE GOT THERE?
196
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,444
Jake: JUST WHEN YOU
THOUGHT ROTWOOD
COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE--
197
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,410
Rotwood: AND FOR
THOSE STUDENTS WITH SPECIAL
198
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:54,380
DRAGON DIETARY NEEDS,
THE CAFETERIA STAFF
HAS PREPARED
199
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,671
AN ALTERNATE LUNCH OF...
200
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,946
[CHUCKLES] BRAVE KNIGHTS
AND PRETTY DAMSELS.
201
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,052
HA HA!
202
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,203
[LAUGHTER]
203
00:07:01,198 --> 00:07:02,338
Jake: I MEAN,
WHY DOES HE ALWAYS
204
00:07:02,343 --> 00:07:03,493
GOTTA BE HATIN'
ON MAGICAL CREATURES?
205
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,020
YEAH, WHAT'S
ROTWOOD'S PROBLEM?
206
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,555
Jake: IF YOU LOOK UP
EVIL, LYING,
207
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,089
GOOD-FOR-NOTHING,
LOSER PUNK IN THE DICTIONARY,
208
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,395
I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW
WHO'S PICTURE YOU'D SEE.
209
00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,428
FOR SERIOUS,
210
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,473
I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING
TO GET THAT JERK
OUT OF MY LIFE.
211
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,799
HE'D GIVE ANYTHING?
212
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,143
ISN'T THE AMERICAN DRAGON
SUPPOSED TO BE,
213
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,568
LIKE, A MILLIONAIRE
OR SOMETHING?
214
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,413
REALLY?
WELL, HE IS FAMOUS,
RIGHT?
215
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,538
AREN'T, LIKE,
ALL FAMOUS PEOPLE RICH?
216
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,554
AYE, HE USED TO WORK
FOR LEPRECHAUNS, YOU KNOW.
217
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,677
[ALL CHATTERING]
218
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,182
WHAT'S GOING ON?
219
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,683
SOME KIND OF
MILLION DOLLAR REWARD
220
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,985
FOR A HUMAN
CALLED ROTWOOD.
221
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,217
WOW, EASY MONEY!
222
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:38,462
HEY, CHUCK.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE
WHAT I JUST HEARD!
223
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,629
ONLY A COUPLE DAYS
LEFT TILL VOTING.
224
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,157
HOW BAD IS MY
SCHOOL CRED?
225
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,752
LET ME PUT IT
THIS WAY.
226
00:07:43,746 --> 00:07:45,326
IF ANYBODY
SAW ME WALKIN'
TO SCHOOL WITH YOU,
227
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:48,402
I'D BE KNOWN AS THE
BRIDE OF FREAK-ENSTEIN.
228
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:49,742
AW, MAN!
229
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,066
THIS IS GONNA GO
IN THE YEARBOOK
AND EVERYTHING.
230
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,341
WE GOTTA TURN THIS
THING AROUND SOMEHOW.
231
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,470
THERE'S GOTTA BE
SOMEBODY AT SCHOOL
232
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,065
WHO'S A BIGGER
FREAK THAN--
233
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,376
ZOMBIE BAND GEEK!
234
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:58,477
ARR!
235
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,559
YO, SPUD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
236
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,653
IF A MONKEY HIDING CHEESE
AND A COUPLE OF RAPPING BABIES
237
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,419
CAN BE
INTERNET VIDEO STARS,
238
00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:06,488
ANYONE CAN!
239
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,546
SO I FIGURED,
HEY, I'LL JUST DRESS UP
AS A ZOMBIE BAND GEEK
240
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,255
JUMP OUT OF DARK ALLEYS
TO SCARE PEOPLE
241
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,317
CATCH IT ON DVD AND...
242
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,336
WHAT?
243
00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:16,364
SO, YEAH,
THERE'S PROBABLY STILL
A FEW KIDS AT SCHOOL
244
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:17,403
FREAKIER THAN YOU.
245
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:18,927
YOU MAY BE ALL RIGHT.
246
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,461
IF YOU COULD JUST
KEEP AWAY FROM
ANY WEIRDO STUFF
247
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,767
FOR THE REST
OF THE WEEK.
248
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,238
AAHR!
249
00:08:23,237 --> 00:08:24,537
UHH!
250
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,098
WHOA!
JAKEY!
251
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,036
LET ME GO,
252
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,610
OR TASTE MY TALONS,
YOU FOOL!
253
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,139
HIT-AND-RUN
ARTIST, HUH?
254
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,583
WELL, TASTE THIS!
255
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,508
DRAGON UP!
256
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,680
WHO SENT YOU?
257
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,224
I SAW HIM FIRST.
HE'S MINE!
258
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,288
AAH! FORGET IT.
259
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:44,620
NO REWARD
IS WORTH THIS.
260
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:48,085
HEY, I ASKED
YOU A QUESTION!
261
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,433
WHAT THE HECK
WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
262
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,566
UH, JAKEY...
263
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,571
"ROTWOOD?"
264
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:01,643
[HUMMING]
265
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,082
YUMMY, YUMMY
CRULLER--
266
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,506
MAKES MY TUMMY
FEEL MUCH FULLER.
267
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,611
A HA HA HA HA!
THAT'S A JOKE.
268
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,353
THAT THING WASN'T
AFTER ME AT ALL.
269
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,818
I WAS JUST IN THE WAY
OF ITS REAL TARGET.
270
00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,077
HMM HMM HMM HMM.
271
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,716
[DRUM ROLL]
272
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,350
WHAT? IT'S FOR
DRAMATIC AFFECT.
273
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:17,786
CRESCENDO, CRESCENDO...
274
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,291
SILENCIO!
275
00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:20,593
UGH, DUDE.
276
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,834
CHILLS.
277
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,349
Fu Dog: A MILLION BUCKS?
[WHISTLES]
278
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,100
SO, HYPOTHETICALLY,
WHO WOULD I TALK TO
ABOUT COLLECTING
279
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,372
IF I WAS THINKING, YOU--
FU DOG!
280
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,470
WHAT? I'D BUY YA
SOMETHIN' NICE.
281
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,572
THAT'S THE THING, FU.
282
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,544
IT DOESN'T SAY
WHO'S BEHIND THIS.
283
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:36,712
WHO WOULD BEAR
ILL-WILL TOWARD
284
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,240
A MIDDLE SCHOOL
PRINCIPAL?
285
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,075
[SCOFFS]
A MIDDLE SCHOOL?
286
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,510
ROTWOOD TOLD ME HE WAS
REAL CLOSE TO FINDING OUT
287
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:44,046
WHERE MAGUS BAZAAR WAS.
288
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:45,580
SOME BIG SHOT IN
THE MAGIC WORLD
MUST HAVE FOUND OUT
289
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,446
AND PUT A PRICE
ON HIS CAPTURE...
290
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:48,524
OR WORSE.
291
00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:50,662
PRINCIPAL ROTWOOD
HAS NO IDEA
292
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:51,717
OF THE DANGER HE IS IN.
293
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,475
AND, IF WE
ARE TO KEEP HIM
294
00:09:53,476 --> 00:09:55,226
FROM EXPOSING
ANY MAGICAL CREATURES,
295
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,358
HE MUST REMAIN SO.
296
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,163
YOU DON'T EVEN
WANT US TO WARN HIM?
297
00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,125
NO, I WANT YOU
TO PROTECT HIM.
298
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:01,733
WITHOUT LETTING HIM
KNOW YOU ARE DOING IT.
299
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:03,595
SAY WHAT?
HOW ARE WE
SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?
300
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,804
FU DOG AND I WILL SCOUR
THE MAGICAL UNDERWORLD
301
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,766
TO FIND OUT WHO IS
RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.
302
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:10,584
IN THE MEANTIME,
YOU MUST FOLLOW
ROTWOOD EVERYWHERE.
303
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:13,677
REMEMBER, ANYONE
AND ANYTHING
COULD BE A THREAT--
304
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,250
CONSTANT VIGILANCE.
[BABIES COOING]
305
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,318
EVEN THE SLIGHTEST
DISTRACTION COULD MEAN--
306
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,577
ARTHUR SPUDINSKI!
307
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,515
WHAT IS ON MY COMPUTER?
308
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,150
RAPPING BABIES/
MONKEY HIDING CHEESE
309
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,486
CROSS-OVER VIDEO.
310
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:34,265
KINDA OBVIOUS,
BUT, UH, IT WORKS.
311
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,637
[SHUDDERING] UGH.
312
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:39,897
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
313
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:44,208
[HUMMING]
314
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,813
Jake: WHAT'S
HE DOING, SPUD?
315
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,354
I CAN'T TELL.
316
00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:50,878
BUT WHATEVER IT IS,
IT'S REALLY COLORFUL
317
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:52,454
AND THERE ARE
HUNDREDS OF 'EM.
318
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,292
SAY WHAT?
319
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,387
SPUD, THIS
IS A KALEIDOSCOPE.
320
00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:59,791
YEAH, ALL MY SPY GEAR
COMES FROM CEREAL BOXES.
321
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,363
I'M HAVIN'
MY DOUBTS ABOUT
322
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,861
THE
MARSHMALLOWMICROPHONE,
TOO.
323
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,633
WELL, IT LOOKS
LIKE IT'S ALL CLEAR.
324
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,602
FOR NOW, ANYWAY.
325
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,166
[SPLAT]
326
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:16,537
UH...GUYS?
327
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:23,647
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
BLOBZILLA.
328
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:24,850
WHOA!
329
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:25,921
UNH!
330
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,489
STOP MOVIN' JAKEY.
331
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,487
LET US GET
A HANDLE ON IT.
332
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,218
TIME FOR A LITTLE
PUDDLE STOMPING.
333
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,293
DRAGON UP!
334
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:37,496
UH...UM,
335
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,427
I'M--WHOO!
I'M DRAGGIN'--
336
00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:41,503
UNDER THE WEIGHT
OF THIS BACKPACK.
337
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,601
WHOO, HOMEWORK TODAY!
YEESH!
338
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,573
YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M SAYIN' PEOPLE?
339
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:48,372
GETTING SCHLOPPY,
ALREADY, MR. LONG?
340
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,505
OH, HOW ZE GOSSIP
MUST BE AFFECTING
341
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,580
YOUR TENDER
JUNIOR HIGH SELF-ESTEEM.
342
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:56,309
HERE, HAVE A FLYER!
THEY'RE GOING FAST,
YOU KNOW.
343
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,776
"JAKE 4 FREAK"?
344
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,515
UGH!
345
00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:03,065
UH, JAKE?
346
00:12:03,072 --> 00:12:04,692
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
TO BLOG OFF SOME
OF THAT STEAM, INSTEAD.
347
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:07,591
¶ I'VE GOT WI-FI ¶
348
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,564
[ANGRILY]
GOOD IDEA.
349
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,363
OH, NOW THAT IS
JUST INFURIATIN'.
350
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,895
CAN YOU BELIEVE
THE NERVE OF THAT GUY?
351
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,270
WAIT TILL HE GETS HIS!
352
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,398
EH, OH, BIG ERNIE,
353
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,542
I'M TRYIN' TO GET
SOME INFORMATION HERE.
354
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,337
YEAH, YEAH.
HOLD YOUR CENTAURS, HUH?
355
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,910
AH, COME ON.
HE DID NOT!
356
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,639
AAH! ARE YOU
KIDDIN' ME?
357
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,254
AIYAA.
COME ALONG, FU DOG.
358
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,507
YEAH,
I HEARD ABOUT THIS.
359
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,545
NO IDEA
WHO'S PAYIN', THOUGH.
360
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,480
ASK BEN THE FISH.
361
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,515
HE'S THE ONE
WHO TOLD ME.
362
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:34,690
ALL I KNOW IS,
363
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,248
SKINNY VINNY TELLS ME
364
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,815
SOMEBODY'S PAYIN'
TO TAKE CARE OF
THIS ROTWOOD CREEP,
365
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,364
BUT, GOOD.
366
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,909
TELL YA TRUE,
367
00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:42,460
I DON'T QUITE RECOLLECT
WHO TOLD ME FIRST.
368
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,932
YA'LL TRY TALKIN'
TO BIG ERNIE YET?
369
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,001
[GROANS]
370
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:46,929
OOH, BOY.
371
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:47,873
I JUST HOPE
THE KID'S
372
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,998
HAVIN' MORE LUCK
THAN WE ARE.
373
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,570
[ALL GROANING]
374
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:55,342
EW, I GOT BOUNTY HUNTER
IN MY MOUTH!
375
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,642
Jake: UHH,
GET OFF OF ME!
[SMACKING]
376
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,444
LET ME
AT THE ROTWOOD BEAST.
377
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,846
I'LL GUM HIM
WITHOUT MERCY.
378
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:02,848
UHH.
AAH!
379
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:06,319
GOOD-BYE,
EARLY RETIREMENT.
380
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,819
[HOWLS]
381
00:13:09,523 --> 00:13:10,793
WE HEARD YELLING.
YOU ALL RIGHT?
382
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,561
YEAH, I'M--
WHAT IN HIMMEL
383
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,859
IS GOING ON OUT HERE?
384
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:14,790
NOTHING! I MEAN--
385
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,855
UH, I GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.
386
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:19,253
I MEAN--
387
00:13:19,248 --> 00:13:21,628
NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING
TO GET CONTROL...UNDER.
388
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,495
OHH, JAKE,
YOU LOOK SO TERRIBLE.
389
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,774
I THINK I MIGHT
BE FEELING GUILTY.
390
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,573
[BELCHES]
391
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,374
UMM, NEIN,
IT VAS A SCHNITZEL BURP.
392
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,637
OH, WELL, I'LL JUST--
393
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,175
[SCREAMING]
HELP!
394
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:34,709
IT'S A BIG
SERPENT OF PINO TING.
395
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,584
OH-HO--
DRAGON UP!
396
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:37,673
UGH!
397
00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:38,747
AAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
398
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:41,842
OH! IT FINALLY WORKED!
399
00:13:41,838 --> 00:13:44,918
I HAVE VIDEOGRAPHIC PROOF
OF A DRAGON'S EXISTENCE.
400
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,555
[SIGHS] HAPPY
EARLY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
401
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,961
THIS IS THE MOST
INCREDIBLE FEELING OF MY--
402
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,563
LENS CAP'S ON,
BUDDY.
403
00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,425
HUH? HMM?
404
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,103
NOOOOOOO!
405
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:57,772
Fu Dog: ALL RIGHT,
THE FEW LEADS WE'VE GOT
406
00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,541
ALL POINT
BACK HERE TO...HEY.
407
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:03,609
ISN'T THAT
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
AND DAME DOWNER?
408
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:08,552
SO, WITH ALL
THE ROTWOOD CRAZINESS
THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS
409
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,978
IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU SUNK A LITTLE MORE
410
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,353
ON THE POPULARITY SCALE.
411
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,422
HOW FAR?
412
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,489
UH, I WOULD SAY
RIGHT AROUND THE KID
413
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,487
WHO SHOVED
THE BUG UP HIS NOSE.
414
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,559
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
415
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:21,358
IT'S JUST ONE MORE DAY
TILL VOTING, JAKEY.
416
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,061
MAYBE IF YOU COULD JUST,
YOU KNOW,
417
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,863
CHILL WITH THE FREAKINESS
TILL THEN.
418
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:26,475
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
419
00:14:26,482 --> 00:14:28,102
I'M GETTING ATTACKED
BY MUD, GUMMED
BY OLD WERE-LADIES.
420
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,631
HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED
TO FREAK OUT
421
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,466
WHEN EVERYBODY I SEE
COULD BE A MAGICAL
422
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,401
BOUNTY HUNTER
TRYIN' TO--
423
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,006
WAIT.
424
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,607
DOES THAT EGG-SALAD
SANDWICH LOOK FUNNY
TO YOU?
425
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,880
EGG-SALAD SANDWICHES
ALWAYS LOOK FUNNY
TO ME.
426
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:42,509
I CALL THEM THE
STAND-UP COMEDIANS
OF THE DELI WORLD.
427
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,115
AAAH!
428
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,885
UHHHH!
429
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,624
[GASPING]
430
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,592
UNH! REVEAL YOUR
TRUE FORM, SHAPE SHIFTER!
431
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,631
I KNOW YOUR EVIL,
EGG-Y PLANS!
432
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:54,857
AAH! UNH!
433
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:55,991
OH, JAKEY.
434
00:14:55,996 --> 00:15:00,056
YOU...CAN'T...
HANDLE...WHAT...I--
435
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,726
GOT?
436
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,195
UH...
437
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:06,173
I, UH...THOUGHT
IT WENT BAD.
438
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,742
MY BAD.
439
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,545
FREAK.
440
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,975
[VOICE WAVERING]
THANK YOU.
441
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,754
[SIGHS]
442
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,522
THEY ACTUALLY THOUGHT
THERE WAS A BOUNTY
FOR THIS BOZO?
443
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,691
COULD PEOPLE BE
ANY MORE IGNORANT?
444
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,920
THEN YOU KNOW
HOW THIS HAPPEN?
445
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:27,155
WHAT VISION
HAVE YOU SEEN?
446
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,764
I TOLD YOU THE INTERNET
WOULD TAKE THE MAGIC
OUT OF MAGIC.
447
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,904
EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED
IS ALL HIS FAULT.
448
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,429
HE'S ALWAYS BEEN
OUT TO GET ME, BUT NOW--
449
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,665
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
450
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:37,750
[BEEP]
YO, FU,
451
00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:38,843
TELL ME YOU FOUND OUT
WHO'S DOING THIS,
452
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,068
SO I CAN BE DONE WITH IT.
453
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,843
OH, WE FOUND OUT.
[CHUCKLES]
454
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,141
BUT YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BE HAPPY.
455
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,083
I'M ALREADY NOT HAPPY.
WHO IS IT?
456
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,678
I'M TALKING TO HIM.
457
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,610
WHAT, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
458
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,554
I NEVER--I DON'T EVEN
HAVE A MILLION DOLLARS!
459
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,650
WELL, JAKE, THAT BLOG
YOU BEEN WRITIN'--
460
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:53,652
ALL THAT STUFF
ABOUT ROTWOOD--
461
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:56,093
THEY TOOK IT ALL
OUTTA CONTEXT.
462
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,518
NOT THAT IT WASN'T
PRETTY INFLAMMATORY
IN CONTEXT.
463
00:15:58,525 --> 00:15:59,615
I MEAN, WOOF.
464
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,826
OH, MAN, I--
465
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:02,877
I GOTTA--
466
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,928
UH, EVERYTHING'S COOL
WITH ME AND ROTWOOD NOW.
467
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,471
NO NEED
FOR ANY UGLY STUFF.
468
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,597
"IT WAS ALL
A MISUNDERSTANDING?"
469
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,642
UGH, NO WAY!
470
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,667
THE ROTWOOD BEAST
MUST BE FORCING HIM
TO SAY THESE LIES.
471
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,673
WE HAVE
TO FREE THE LADDY!
472
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,735
[ALL AGREEING]
473
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,195
UH, KID?
474
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,646
MAYBE THE JOURNALISM
BUSINESS AIN'T FOR YOU.
475
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,718
[DISMAYED UTTERANCE]
476
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:28,551
AND, SO, FELLOW
FILLMORE MIDDLE SCHOOLIANS,
477
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,615
WHEN YOU VOTE TOMORROW,
478
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,693
REMEMBER NOT JUST
THE BEST-LOOKING
AND MOST ATHLETIC--
479
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:33,762
GO, BRADSTER--
BUT ALSO,
480
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,630
THOSE WHO GIVE US
OUR DAILY HELPINGS
481
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:39,198
OF FANTASY-LOVING,
GEEK FREAKINESS.
482
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,259
[GASPS]
483
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,866
JAKE LONG,
EVERYBODY!
484
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:43,939
OWF WEINERSTAIN.
485
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,767
[CHANTING]
FREAK, FREAK, FREAK!
486
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,642
FREAK, FREAK, FREAK!
487
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,110
I GOTTA TALK TO YOU.
488
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,939
IN PRIVATE.
489
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,607
SURRENDERING ALREADY.
490
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,362
WELL,
I HAVE A CAMERA HERE,
491
00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:56,113
IF YOU CARE
TO ASSUME YOUR DRAGON FORM.
492
00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,096
NO, LISTEN.
493
00:16:57,105 --> 00:16:58,085
I WASN'T SUPPOSED
TO TELL YOU THIS,
494
00:16:58,094 --> 00:16:59,084
BUT WE DON'T HAVE
A CHOICE ANYMORE.
495
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,885
YOU'RE IN HUGE DANGER.
496
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,647
I CAN HELP YOU
HIDE UNTIL--
497
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,635
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
KIND OF LIEDERHOSEN
498
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,620
YOU'RE TRYING
TO PULL OVER MY EYES,
MR. LONG,
499
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:07,826
BUT IT WILL NOT WORK!
500
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,957
[THUDDING]
501
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:11,063
[THUD]
502
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,664
[STOMPING]
503
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:20,670
[CAR ALARM BLARES]
504
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,036
OOH, LOOKEY,
A CIRCUS PARADE.
505
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,775
I DON'T THINK
THAT'S A--
506
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,180
OH, I LOVE THE CIRCUS!
507
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,371
[CAR ALARM BEEPS OFF]
508
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:32,546
AS A BOY, I DREAMED
OF BECOMING A FAMOUS JUGGLER,
509
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,152
BUT...
510
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,553
IT'S HIM, BOYS.
511
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,564
GET HIM, AND
THE MILLION IS OURS!
512
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,657
RAAAH!
513
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:40,188
HYAH!
HYAH!
514
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:41,333
AAH!
515
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,287
[CRASH]
516
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,661
AAH!
517
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,326
WHOO-HOO!
518
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,671
THIS IS A CIRCUS OF PAIN!
519
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,670
JUST STAY CLOSE TO ME.
520
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:54,836
UNH! UGH!
521
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,811
YAH! DRAGON UP!
522
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:57,910
WAAH!
523
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,211
OOH.
524
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,182
RAAAH!
525
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,052
HYAH!
HYAH!
526
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,579
YAH!
[BLUBBERS]
527
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,954
AAAH!
528
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,252
UNH.
529
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,623
AAH, OH!
530
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,651
RRRR!
531
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,356
I BREAK YOU!
532
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,357
YAH!
UNH!
[GIGGLING]
533
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,759
HANG ON, ROTWOOD,
I'M COMING!
534
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:20,633
HA HA HA HA!
HUH?
535
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,703
HEE HEE HEE HA!
536
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,041
UH! YAH!
OW!
537
00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:24,997
IT BURN!
538
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:28,644
[SOBBING]
539
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,011
UNH! HYAH!
540
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,180
AAH!
541
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,808
AAH!
542
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,995
NICE JUGGLING.
543
00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:38,379
WELL, IT'S LIKE
STUFFING A BRATWURST--
544
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:40,624
ONCE YOU LEARN,
YOU NEVER FORGET.
545
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,620
[MOB SHOUTING]
546
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,722
[ALL TALKING]
547
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,985
OHH, DUKEDULLY-BOBBLEDY,
ARE THOSE...
548
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,555
MAGICAL?
YEAH.
549
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,134
BUT TRUST ME,
YOU DO NOT WANT
TO MEET THEM RIGHT NOW.
550
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,384
COME ON,
551
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,735
I GOTTA SHOW YOU
SOMETHING.
552
00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,637
WHOO!
553
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,968
ACH, I'M FLYING! WHEE!
554
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,135
I...I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
555
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:07,044
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE
FOR THOSE CREATURES
ATTACKING ME?
556
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:11,376
AND YOU THINK MY HAIRDO
"LOOKS LIKE A CAN
OF UGLY EXPLODED?"
557
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:12,874
I'M SORRY.
558
00:19:12,868 --> 00:19:14,348
I JUST THOUGHT MY BLOG
WAS A PLACE TO VENT.
559
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,294
IT'S THE INTERNET, RIGHT?
560
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,718
YOU CAN SAY
WHATEVER YOU WANT.
561
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,893
GOSSIP IS GOSSIP,
JAKE.
562
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,061
AND IT IS POISONOUS
NO MATTER WHAT
FORM IT TAKES.
563
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:22,430
[SIGHS]
564
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:23,858
AH...
565
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,803
WHO AM I TO TALK, HUH?
566
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,298
I DESERVE ALL OF THIS.
567
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:28,799
HAVE BEEN VERY UNFAIR
VITH YOU JAKE.
568
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,271
OF ALL PEOPLE,
I SHOULD KNOW
WHAT IT IS LIKE
569
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,841
TO BE RIDICULED
FOR TRYING
570
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,398
TO BRING TOGETHER
THE HUMAN AND
MAGICAL WORLDS.
571
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:37,837
AH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO ME, WHEE...
572
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:42,984
I SUPPOSE I CAN START
A SECOND CAREER TEACHING
COMBAT JUGGLING.
573
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,672
ACTUALLY...
574
00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:46,346
I THINK I MAY HAVE A WAY
TO MAKE US BOTH HAPPY.
575
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,052
IF YOU'RE WILLING
TO TRUST ME.
576
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,823
WHERE...AM I?
577
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,114
IT'S REALLY HIM.
578
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,388
OH, HE'S SO HIDEOUS.
WHO GETS THE REWARD?
579
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,394
LISTEN UP, PEOPLE.
580
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:56,685
I KNOW A LOT OF Y'ALL
BEEN OUT
581
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,326
FOR THAT
MILLION DOLLAR REWARD.
582
00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,361
BUT YOU'RE TOO LATE!
583
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,465
THE ROTWOOD BEAST
HAS BEEN CLAIMED
584
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:02,997
BY THE AMDRAG.
585
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:06,372
THAT'S IT, GAME OVER,
THE REWARD IS MINE.
586
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,912
[MOANING AND GROANING]
587
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,988
WAIT...
588
00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:13,083
WASN'T HE THE ONE
WHO PUT UP THE REWARD
IN THE FIRST PLACE?
589
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:16,949
EH, WHO CAN REMEMBER
WHO THESE THINGS
GET STARTED?
590
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,277
THAT'S THE BEST
I CAN DO FOR NOW.
591
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:20,265
THEY'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE,
592
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:21,249
BUT YOU MIGHT
WANT TO KEEP AWAY
593
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,894
FROM THE MAGICAL WORLD
FOR A WHILE.
594
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,359
UNICORNS! HA HA!
AND, LOOK, A PIXIE!
595
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,228
AH, TROLLS!
LEPRECHAUNS!
596
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:32,157
OOH! THIS IS ZE BEST
BIRTHDAY PRESENT
ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN ME!
597
00:20:32,165 --> 00:20:33,395
HO HO!
I CAN'T STAND IT!
598
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,199
YOU ARE ALL
SO FASCINATING.
599
00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:37,072
GET AWAY FROM ME!
600
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,100
OOH! I AM
A LIFE-LONG FAN!
601
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,374
BACK OFF!
BACK OFF, YOU!
602
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,072
BREATH-TAKING!
603
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,874
STOP TOUCHING ME!
604
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,413
SO, THAT IS WHY
I HAVE DECIDED
TO STRIKE THE CATEGORY
605
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:52,922
OF BIGGEST WEIRDO FREAK
FROM THIS YEAR'S
MOSTS AND BESTS BALLOT.
606
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,754
AND IN A COMPLETELY
UNRELATED MATTER,
607
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,986
APPARENTLY, A FEW
OF MY FANTASY
FICTION STORIES
608
00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:02,192
GOT ALL JUMBLISH,
NO GOOD, WITH MY
PERMANENT RECORD FILES.
609
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:05,495
IF I HAVE ACCIDENTALLY
CREATED ANY RUMORS
ABOUT JAKE LONG,
610
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,068
I HEREBY PUT AN END TO THEM.
611
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,027
THAT IS ALL.
612
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:12,236
THANKS.
IT WAS OUR DEAL.
613
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:14,008
BESIDES,
I SHOULD BE THANKING YOU.
614
00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:17,937
I HAVE SEEN
THE MAGUS BAZAAR
WITH MEIN OWN EYES!
615
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,044
OH, IT IS ENOUGH
TO FEEL I HAVE
616
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,506
FINALLY MADE SOMETHING
OF MY LIFE'S WORK!
617
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,975
GOOD TO HEAR IT.
WELL...
618
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,984
LATER.
TA.
619
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:29,917
OF COURSE, A LITTLE
VIDEO EVIDENCE
620
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:33,092
FOR THE SCIENTIFIC
COMMUNITY WOULDN'T HURT.
621
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:35,532
COME ON,
UPLOAD TO MY WEBPAGE.
622
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,088
SHOW ME THAT
DRAGON ACTION!
623
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:38,396
BEEPS.
624
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,498
ZOMBIE BAND-GEEK!
RAWOR!
625
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,430
VAS IN HIMMEL!
626
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:43,425
HEY, HOW 'BOUT THAT.
627
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:44,536
LOOK AT ME, HEY,
I MADE IT
628
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:48,037
ONTO THE INTERNET
AFTER ALL.
629
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:49,471
WHA??
630
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:51,175
LOOKING FOR THIS?
631
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:52,876
I MADE A
LITTLE SWITCH WHILE
YOU WERE BLINDFOLDED.
632
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:55,099
MY PROOF!
633
00:21:55,097 --> 00:21:57,307
[GERMAN ACCENT]
OOK! WHAT A MAJOR OOPSIE
I HAVE COMMITTED!
634
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,823
BETTER LUCK
NEXT BIRTHDAY.
635
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,489
RMMMM....
636
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:05,988
JAKE LOOOONG!
637
00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:10,491
Grandpa: SO,
NOW I AM BLOXING?
BLOGGING.
638
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:12,096
SO NOW I AM BLOGGING?
639
00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:13,848
ACTUALLY, GRAMPS,
640
00:22:13,849 --> 00:22:15,599
YOU'RE NOT REALLY BLOGGING
UNTIL YOU TYPE SOMETHING.
641
00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:17,101
BUT WHAT DO I TYPE?
642
00:22:17,103 --> 00:22:18,543
JUST...WHATEVER.
643
00:22:18,538 --> 00:22:19,398
TYPE WHAT YOU FEEL.
644
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:21,435
HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW?
645
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,083
HUNGRY.
646
00:22:25,078 --> 00:22:26,978
[SPEAKING CHINESE]
647
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:29,949
I FAIL TO SEE THE FUN
IN THIS BLOGGING.
648
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:32,519
[SIGHS]
NEVER MIND, G.
43815
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
