Original subtitles

¶ HE'S SLOBBY ¶

¶ SHE'S SNOTTY ¶

¶ BUT HE THINKS SHE'S A HOTTIE ¶

¶ THE SPUD AND STACEY SHOW ¶

¶ SHE'S PERKY ¶

¶ HE'S LUCKY ¶

¶ CAN THEIR LOVE EVER WORKY ¶

¶ THE SPUD AND STACY SHOW ¶

¶ WHEREVER THEY GO ¶

¶ HE SAYS YES ¶ ¶ THEY SAY NO ¶

¶ THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE TONIGHT ¶

¶ WHEREVER-- ¶

UH, SPUD, HELLO?

ARE YOU DREAMING YOU AND STACY

ARE STARS IN YOUR OWN SITCOM AGAIN?

NO.

[SIGHS] OK, YES.

THERE'S GONNA BE ONE WHERE SHE BURNS THE POT ROAST,

AND THEN WE ALL LEARN THE TRUE MEANING OF NEW YEAR'S EVE.

SORRY, SPUD. BUT TRUST US,

YOU CAN TOTALLY DO BETTER THAN HER.

YEAH, THAT GIRL IS SHALLOWER

THAN A KIDDIE POOL WITH A LEAK IN IT.

UH, COLUMBUS SHMULUMBUS.

NOW, WHICH ONE OF MY TOES IS THE PRETTIEST?

BITE YOUR TONGUES.

STACY'S GOT MORE LAYERS THAN AN ONION.

I JUST...

DIG HER SO MUCH.

ATTENTION, HOODLUMS.

TONIGHT IS FILLMORE FEST

WHERE WE SHOWCASE TO YOUR PARENTAL GUARDIANS

ALL THAT IS GOOD AT THIS SCHOOL.

IT IS THE FIRST OF MY ADMINISTRATION,

AND IT WILL GO SMOOTHLY!

AS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW NOT TO DRESS THIS EVENING,

OBSERVE JAKE LONG.

[GASPS]

HAIR SHALL BE COMBED, NOT SPIKY.

PROPER SLACKS WILL BE MANDATORY.

NONE OF THIS HALF PANTS, HALF SHORTS,

CHICKEN LEGGED LOOK.

[STUDENTS LAUGH]

YO, ROT--

AND NO MORE OF THIS "YO. "

WHEN YOU SPEAK YOUR STREET SLANG,

NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

DISMISSED!

OK, THAT IS IT.

I HAVE HAD IT WITH ROTWOOD.

TONIGHT AT FILLMORE FEST,

IT'S PAYBACK TIME.

[CRYING] WE'RE THERE FOR YOU, MAN.

WE TOTALLY FEEL YOUR PAIN.

THANKS, SPUD.

BUT DUDE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE IT SO HARD.

[SNIFFLING] I'M NOT. IT'S THE ONION.

UM, ARE YOU CRYING?

UH...NO, I WAS--

YES, YOU TOTALLY WERE.

YOU WERE TOTALLY TEARING UP LIKE A BABY

BECAUSE YOUR FRIEND GOT HUMILIATED BY ROTWOOD.

NO, IT WAS--

THAT IS SO SENSITIVE.

AND SWEET.

AND SO TOTALLY...

HOT.

UH...CAN'T WE ALL JUST LEARN TO LOVE?

[CRYING]

¶ HE'S COOL, HE'S HOT LIKE A FROZEN SUN ¶

¶ HE'S YOUNG AND FAST, HE'S THE CHOSEN ONE ¶

¶ PEOPLE, WE'RE NOT BRAGGIN' ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S GONNA STOP HIS ENEMIES ¶

¶ WITH HIS DRAGON POWER ¶

¶ DRAGON TEETH, DRAGON TAIL, BURNIN' DRAGON FIRE ¶

¶ A REAL LIVE WIRE ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HE'S THE AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ HIS SKILLS ARE GETTIN' FASTER ¶

¶ WITH GRANDPA, THE MASTER ¶

¶ HIS DESTINY WILL WALK UP SHEETS ¶

¶ IT'S SHOWTIME, BABY, FOR THE LEGACY ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

¶ I'M THE MAGICAL PROTECTOR FROM THE N.Y.C. ¶

¶ AMERICAN DRAGON ¶

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

I GIVE YOU THE PRINCIPAL OF FILLMORE MIDDLE SCHOOL,

HANS ROTWOOD.

[CHEERING]

DANKE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

BEFORE WE ARE BEGINNING,

I AM PROUD TO UNVEIL THE WOODSHOP'S NEWEST CREATION,

A MAHOGANY STATUE OF FORMER U.S. PRESIDENT

MILLARD FILLMORE.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]

YES, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. YES, YES.

AND LATER TONIGHT, PRESIDENT FILLMORE'S

6-YEAR-OLD GREAT, GREAT, GREAT,

GREAT GRANDDAUGHTER MILLIE WILL BE HERE

TO SHARE HER MELODIOUS SINGING.

[CROWD CHEERS]

PARENTS, STUDENTS, FRIENDS,

THE STATE OF OUR SCHOOL IS STRONG.

[CROWD CHEERS]

HEAR ME WHEN I SAY,

I CHEW OTHER PEOPLE'S GUM

AND SPIT IT IN THE HAIR OF YOUR MONKEY-FACED CHILDREN.

[MICROPHONE WHISTLES]

DID HE JUST CALL HIMSELF A GUM SPITTER?

FORGET THAT. HE CALLED OUR KIDS MONKEY FACED.

NO, NO. I DIDN'T. IT WAS A MISTAKE.

SOMEONE HAS CHANGED THE TELEPROMPTER.

HE'S WAVING. THAT'S OUR CUE.

[BAND PLAYS]

NO! NOT YET.

STAY BACK, PLEASE.

I MUST FINISH MY SPEECH.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

Crowd: OOH, OH!

MY MAHOGANY MILLARD!

HE WAS SO HARD TO CARVE.

PLEASE, THIS WAS ALL A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING.

I WAS PUNKED.

THE TELEPROMPTER! THE BAND!

THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SONG.

¶ YANKEE DOODLE WENT TO LONDON ¶

¶ RIDING ON A PONY ¶

SILENCE YOUR MELODIOUS SINGING. I DIDN'T MEAN NOW.

[CRYING]

OH! I'M SORRY.

I--OH!

HE JUST DESECRATED OUR 13TH PRESIDENT.

ROTWOOD, YOU'RE A MONSTER!

[CROWD YELLING]

[SIGHS]

MAN, CAN YOU BELIEVE LAST NIGHT?

WE CHANGED ONE LINE IN ROTWOOD'S SPEECH,

ONE LINE.

AND THE WALL CAME TUMBLING DOWN.

TOTALLY, MAN. I, OH!

STACY!

HAVE YOU GUYS, LIKE, HEARD?

PRINCIPAL ROTWOOD WAS, LIKE, FIRED.

SAY WHAT? HUH?

YOU KNOW, I'M NO FAN OF OLD ROTTY,

BUT A MAN...

FIRED FROM HIS LIFE'S PASSION.

I MEAN... IT'S JUST SO SAD.

AH, THERE, THERE.

DO YOU WANT TO GO GET SOME ICE CREAM OR SOMETHING?

[SNIFFLING] WILL THERE BE HOT FUDGE?

A SQUIRT FOR EVERY TEAR.

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS,

BUT I ACTUALLY FEEL KIND OF BAD THAT...

JAKE, WAY TO GO.

WAY TO GO, JAKE.

YEAH, BABY!

THAT WE DIDN'T GET RID OF HIM SOONER.

THINK ABOUT IT, TRIX,

NO MORE ROTWOOD,

AND I'M THE MOST POPULAR KID IN SCHOOL.

WE CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING.

[KIDS CHEERING]

AT LEAST WITH ROTWOOD,

YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WAS IN FOR.

WHO KNOWS HOW BAD THIS NEW DUDE'S GOING TO BE?

HELLO, CHILDREN.

I AM YOUR NEW PRINCIPAL.

MY NAME IS SIGMUND BRONK.

AND THIS SCHOOL YEAR

IS GOING TO ROCK!

[PLAYS ROCK MUSIC]

HA! HA!

WHAT MAKES A SCHOOL BURNING FOR LEARNING?

LESS RULES AND MORE FUN.

SO WHO WANTS CHEESEBURGERS?

[CROWD CHEERS]

BURGERS INCOMING.

I HAVE TWO WORDS, TRIX.

OH, YEAH.

LOOK AT THAT.

[SNIFFING]

IT'S JUST SO MOVING

TO SEE MEAT BEING DISTRIBUTED AERIALLY.

YOU ARE SO DEEP.

DO YOU SMELL ONIONS?

MAYBE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DISPOSE THE ROT.

YOU FEEL ME? 'CAUSE THE SCHOOL IS BUMPING WITH POSITIVITY, OK?

HEY, SOMEBODY GET PRINCIPAL BRONK.

THERE'S SOME KIND OF CRITTER IN THE BOILER ROOM.

AND IT AIN'T NATURAL. IT AIN'T REAL.

OK, NOBODY PANIC.

I'M SURE IT'S JUST MY PET...EMU.

HOW'D SHE GET OUT?

OK, THIS IS THE PART OF THE MOVIE

WHERE SOMEONE IN THE AUDIENCE YELLS,

DON'T GO DOWN THERE!

WHAT THE CREATURE DOUBLE FEATURE WAS THAT?

I'M NOT SURE.

IT LOOKED LIKE SOME KIND OF GIANT--

BEAST! BEAST!

SLIMY TONGUE PUNCHES. NASTY!

TIME TO DRAG--

TO START DRAGGIN YOU, UM...

OFF ME, YOU SILLY EMU!

HIYA!

OK, ANY BUG THAT BIG HAS GOT TO BE MAGICAL.

BUT WHAT'S IT DOING IN SCHOOL?

WELL, IF HE'S HERE FOR THE LEARNING,

HE'S GOT TO FIND A STUDY GROUP.

THERE HE IS. LOOK OUT!

I CALL THAT ONE THE WINDSHIELD.

IT GOES 90 MILES AN HOUR AND FLATTENS BUGS.

[ALL SCREAM]

TSK TSK. INFESTATION IN THE BASEMENT.

IF ONLY ROTWOOD HAD SPENT MORE TIME

KEEPING THIS PLACE TIDY

AND LESS TIME DESECRATING WOODEN STATUES.

JAKE, I ADMIRE YOUR DEDICATION

TO CLEANING UP THIS SCHOOL.

COME WITH ME.

[LAUGHING] YOUR PALS SEEMED TO LEAVE VERY QUICKLY

WHEN THEY SAW ME, DIDN'T THEY?

I GUESS THEY THOUGHT YOU WERE--

LET'S CUT THROUGH THE CREAM CHEESE.

EXCUSE ME?

I'M NOT HERE TO LAUNCH BURGERS

AND WIPE SNOTTY, LITTLE NOSES.

I CAME TO DO WHAT THAT BAVARIAN BOZO ROTWOOD COULDN'T.

GIVE A SPEECH?

CATCH THE DRAGON.

D-DRAGONS?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALK--

STOP PLAYING ME.

AHEM. I, TOO, AM A RESEARCHER OF THE MAGICAL WORLD.

ROTWOOD MAY BE A FOOL,

BUT I BELIEVE HE WAS ON TO SOMETHING

WITH HIS TALK OF A DRAGON AT THIS SCHOOL.

BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT DRAGONS.

BUT YOU DO, JAKE, YOU DO.

SEE, I'VE READ ROTWOOD'S FILES ON YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS,

THE UNEXPLAINED ABSENCES,

THE CURIOUS BEHAVIOR,

LIKE YOUR REACTION

TO THOSE CREATURES I PLANTED IN THE BASEMENT.

EVERYONE'S FROZEN IN FEAR,

BUT YOU THREE RACE INTO ACTION.

ALMOST AS IF YOU ALL HAD EXPERIENCE

FIGHTING MAGICAL CREATURES.

IF I KNOW MY MYTHOLOGY, THAT'S A DRAGON'S JOB.

SO THEN, WHICH ONE OF YOU IS ON THE CLOCK, HMM?

YOU PLANTED THOSE THINGS? BUT--

OH, I'VE HAD SOME SMALL LUCK IN THE FIELD,

BUT THE PEOPLE WHO FUND MY KIND OF RESEARCH

NEED TO SEE SOMETHING SPECIAL.

LIKE A CAPTURED DRAGON, AND SOON...

I WILL DELIVER.

THIS IS BRONKIUM.

A CHEMICAL OF MY OWN INVENTION

THAT WILL MAKE ANY DISGUISED DRAGON

REVERT TO ITS TRUE FORM.

I HAVE BUT ONE VIAL NOW,

BUT ONCE I USE IT TO EXPOSE THIS SCHOOL'S DRAGON,

I'LL HAVE THE FUNDING TO MASS PRODUCE

ALL THE BRONKIUM I COULD EVER WANT.

DRAGON'S EVERYWHERE WILL BE UNMASKED.

AND THE NAME SIGMUND BRONK WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY.

BUT, OF COURSE, WE REGULAR HUMANS

HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR. NOW, DO WE?

NOPE. GUESS YOU'LL JUST BE WASTING YOUR ONLY VIAL THEN, HUH?

[BELL RINGS]

PRINCIPAL BRONK!

IT'S RECESS. CAN WE HANG OUT WITH YOU?

OF COURSE.

NOW WHO WANTS TO LEARN EXTREME FOUR SQUARE?

I DO! I DO!

[ALL CHEERING]

ANY TIME YOU WANT TO TALK, JAKE.

RIGHT ON.

PEACE.

OH, MAN!

YO, GRAMPS, WE'VE GOT PROBLEMS.

WITH THAT CHEMICAL, BRONK IS BEYOND DANGEROUS.

HE MUST BE STOPPED.

YOU GOT ONE PRINCIPAL FIRED, KID.

TIME TO GET WORKING ON THE SEQUEL.

WHY DON'T I JUST SNEAK IN,

STEAL THE BRONKIUM, AND GET RID OF IT?

TOO RISKY.

IF YOU WERE CAUGHT, IT WOULD ONLY PROVE TO HIM

THAT YOU WERE A DRAGON.

FU DOG IS RIGHT, YOU MUST GET RID OF YOUR PRINCIPAL.

GET RID OF YOUR PRINCIPAL?

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO--

DO YOU MIND?

ROTWOOD?

YOU, UH... NEED SOME HELP?

NEIN. NO, NO. NO, NO.

I LOVE THE SCAVENGING LIFE. AHA!

FOR EXAMPLE, YOU SEE A HALF EATEN CAN OF SOUP.

I SEE A HILARIOUS NOVELTY HAT.

PUT HER THERE.

NO, WHO AM I KIDDING?

THIS IS A CRUEL WORLD.

WHICH HAS THE CAPACITY TO SMASH DREAMS.

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY WITH YOUR NEW PRINCIPAL.

PRINCIPAL BRONK IS A FREAK.

YES, WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M SURE HE'S A VERY--

BRONK! SURELY YOU DO NOT MEAN SIGMUND BRONK.

UH...YEAH. YOU KNOW HIM?

KNOW HIM?

ACH MEIN STRUDEL.

HE WAS MY PROFESSOR AT THE UNIVERSITY.

IT WAS HE WHO OPENED MY EYES

TO THE UNSEEN MAGICAL WORLD.

HE CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER.

BUT BRONK WAS TOO HARSH A TASK MASTER.

HE EXPLODED WITH RAGE AT THE SLIGHTEST MISTAKE.

YEAH.

I KIND OF KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE.

BUT I'D STILL TAKE YOU OVER BRONK ANY DAY.

AND I WOULD RETURN IN A HEARTBEAT IF I COULD.

HEY, EVERYBODY.

I HAVE A SURPRISE.

DON'T TAKE MOM'S REACTION TOO PERSONALLY.

SHE BEATS ALL OUR HOUSE GUESTS

OVER THE HEAD WITH A BROOM.

IT'S, UH, JUST HER WAY.

AH...

I SEE I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE

WITH AN INTERESTING MAGICAL CREATURE.

HUH? OH, YEAH. UM...

FAMILY TRIP TO DRAGON HEAD VENTURES AMUSEMENT PARK.

GOOD TIMES.

I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS AMUSEMENT PARK.

YO, JAKEY J, LET'S GO, BABY.

I'M TAKING SPUD ONION SHOPPING, YOU WANNA--

WHAT THE--

AAH! ANOTHER BASEMENT CRITTER.

LOOK, IT'S KIND OF A LONG STORY.

BUT ME AND ROTWOOD ARE WORKING TOGETHER

TO GET BRONK FIRED.

I STARTED WORKING UP A PLAN.

BUT I'M GONNA NEED YOUR HELP.

HERE'S WHAT I'M THINKING.

ME, TRIXIE AND SPUD WILL, UH, ARRIVE

ON THE SCHOOL ROOFTOP TOMORROW AT 5:03AM.

WHILE TRIX AND I ACCESS THE SCHOOL

THROUGH THE SKYLIGHT,

SPUD WILL SUCTION CUP ACROSS THE EAST SIDE OF THE BUILDING,

AND CUT THE SECURITY CAMERA WIRES.

ONCE THAT'S DONE, I'LL LET IN ONE OF THE LUNCH LADIES.

THE HOT ONE.

WHO WILL THEN FLIRT WITH THE SECURITY GUARD

AND GET HIM TO UNLOCK THE CAFETERIA DOOR.

AND HOW ARE WE GONNA LET Y'ALL IN?

THAT'S THE THING. IT WON'T BE THE LUNCH LADY.

IT'LL BE ROTWOOD.

WHILE HE STANDS GUARD, I'LL CLIMB INTO THE AIR VENT,

FOLLOW IT TO BRONK'S OFFICE,

AND USE, MY, UH, SPECIAL SKILLS

TO BORROW THE SCHOOL'S FUNDRAISER CASH.

WHEN THE SAFE IS DISCOVERED EMPTY,

THEY'LL BLAME THE ONLY DUDE WITH THE COMBINATION.

AND LATER, WE CAN ANONYMOUSLY RETURN THE MONEY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WHOO-HOO! IT'S WUNDERBAR!

LET'S ROLL!

OH! DIDN'T YOUR MOTHERS TEACH YOU HOW TO TREAT A LADY?

ROTWOOD, MY OLD PUPIL.

SOMEHOW I ALWAYS PICTURED YOU

ENDING UP PRETTY MUCH EXACTLY LIKE THIS.

HELP! IT'S SUCKING MY BRAIN.

GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

OH, BY THE WAY, JAKE,

YOU LEFT YOUR PLANS ON THE ROOF.

YOU WERE TRYING TO SET ME UP!

WHAT? NO! I--

WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME CLEAN

ABOUT THE DRAGON'S IDENTITY?

SAVE ME SOME TIME AND A WORLD OF MISERY.

PEOPLE WILL HEAR.

RELAX, JAKE, I'M JUST MAKING THE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS.

HOLA, STUDENTS.

THIS IS YOUR PAL PRINCIPAL BRONK.

I AM SAD TO INFORM YOU

THERE HAS BEEN AN ATTEMPT

TO HAVE ME FIRED FROM THIS SCHOOL.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

NO WAY!

BUT I SUPPOSE JAKE LONG IN HOMEROOM 217,

LOCKER NUMBER A331

IS ENTITLED TO HIS OWN OPINION OF ME.

THAT IS ALL. [TURNS MIC OFF]

I'M GOING TO EXPOSE THE TRUTH, JAKE.

YOU CAN HELP ME, OR YOU CAN CONTINUE TO SUFFER.

SAY HI TO YOUR CLASSMATES FOR ME.

THAT'S THE BRONK HATER.

I HEAR HE BEAT UP THE SCHOOL MASCOT.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING, YOU BRONK BASHER?

[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY] HOW'S IT GOING, GUYS?

ANYBODY ELSE HAVE THE PIZZA YESTERDAY?

LOTS OF OREGANO IN THE SAUCE, AM I RIGHT?

OH, GREAT.

NOW HE'S TRYING TO GET THE HOT LUNCH LADY FIRED, TOO.

I LIVE FOR THAT SAUCE.

NO, NO, NO, I JUST--

EXTREME FOUR SQUARE!

BRONK ROCKS!

HEY, JAKE, I'VE BEEN WORKING UP NEW IDEAS

ON HOW TO GET RID OF BRONK.

MY FAVORITE SO FAR,

MAKE HIM ALLERGIC TO CHILDREN.

IT'S PRETTY WEIRD, HUH?

US THROWING IN CONSIDERING ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH.

OH, YEAH, LIKE THE TIME I GAVE YOU A WEEK'S DETENTION

FOR SAYING, "OH," AND ANOTHER WEEK FOR SAYING "MAN."

OR THE TIME I PUT MONDO BONDO GLUE AROUND YOUR MONOCLE FRAME.

OR THE TIME I GAVE YOU DETENTION

WHILE YOU WERE IN DETENTION.

OR THE TIME I MESSED WITH YOUR TELEPROMP--

DATE. UH, YOU KNOW,

YOUR DATE TO TEL AVIV.

[GASPS] YOU!

YOU STARTED TO SAY TELEPROMPTER.

YOU ARE THE RIFFRAFF THAT GOT ME FIRED.

I JUST CHANGED ONE LINE.

KNOW THIS DAY THAT YOU HAVE MADE A POWERFUL NEW ENEMY.

YES, I TECHNICALLY, AM AN OLD ENEMY WHO WASN'T FOR AWHILE,

BUT NOW AGAIN IS ON THE SIDE--

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING!

NO, WAIT! COME BACK!

AH, DON'T SWEAT IT, KID.

WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?

YES. THE PHOTO IS QUITE REAL.

I'VE SENT IT TO EVERY NEWS ORGANIZATION IN THE CITY.

I WILL PROVE THE PHOTO'S AUTHENTICITY

AT A PRESS CONFERENCE TOMORROW.

YES. THE DRAGON IS MASQUERADING AS A HUMAN,

BUT MY NEW ASSISTANT ASSURES ME

HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHO HE IS.

WHAT'S [SNIFFLING] GOING ON, BABY?

GET THIS, BRONK SAYS HE'S GONNA REVEAL

THAT SOMEBODY AT SCHOOL IS--

INCREDIBLY SENSITIVE?

A GROSS, FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON.

OH, MAN!

WE GOTTA GET YOU OUT OF HERE, BRO.

I CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM WITH THE BRONKIUM.

NO DRAGON WILL BE SAFE.

SO, THEN WHAT DO WE DO?

WE FINISH WHAT WE STARTED.

YO, WHAT ARE YOU EATING?

ONIONS.

I REALLY DIG 'EM NOW. CHECK THIS OUT.

[BELCHES]

OH! YUCK!

I'M OVER THAT ONION BREATH ALREADY.

UH, JAKEY, WAS BRONK'S OFFICE

LIKE THAT LAST NIGHT?

HE MAY HAVE... REDECORATED A LITTLE.

DRAGON UP!

IT'S LIGHTS OUT TIME.

GUYS, I GOT HIM.

THAT BLUE STUFF'S GOTTA BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

SPUD, LOOK OUT!

GO!

[CRYING]

AH, YES, THEY ASK FOR SO LITTLE,

AND YET, THEY GIVE SO MUCH.

YO, THIS IT?

THAT'S IT. LET'S TAKE--

HEY! WHAT THE?

WELL, ISN'T THIS TIDY.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

YOU'RE BRONK, YOU CAN'T--

YES, I CAN. AND I WILL, SEE...

THANKS TO MY FORMER PROTEGÉ

I NOW KNOW WHICH OF YOU IS THE DRAGON.

ROTWOOD?

COME ON, LET'S GO EXPOSE THE DRAGON.

OH, AND JUST SO HIS FRIENDS

DON'T TRY ANY FUNNY BUSINESS,

YOU'RE ALL LOCKED UP. WON'T THAT BE FUN?

WHOA! HE'S GOT THOSE CHILDREN IN A CAGE!

THAT IS AN OUTRAGE.

IS THIS AN OUTRAGE,

OR WILL WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE

REVOLUTIONIZE SCIENCE AS WE NOW KNOW IT?

WATCH AND BELIEVE!

ROTWOOD, ARE YOU SURE HE'S THE ONE?

[SIGHS] THIS IS IT, GUYS.

THIS IS HOW IT ENDS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD THE MIGHTY DRAGON.

[CROWD GASPS]

CHANGE INTO YOUR TRUE FORM.

DUDE!

THAT STUFF TASTES LIKE SOCKS AND OLD CABBAGE.

YUCK!

IT NEEDS ONION.

CHANGE INTO YOUR TRUE FORM!

Woman: HE'S YELLING AT THAT POOR BOY.

THIS BOY IS A DRAGON!

THAT BOY IS A BOY.

NOW LET GO OF HIM THIS INSTANT.

YOU SET ME UP.

YOU TOLD ME HE WAS THE DRAGON.

BUT IT, IT MUST BE HIM.

HE HAS THE DRAGON BREATH.

LOOK AT HIM. STEAM'S COMING OUT OF HIS MOUTH RIGHT NOW.

SHARE THIS?

A DRAGON AT THIS SCHOOL? [LAUGHING]

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FANTASTICAL DELUSIONS, PRINCIPAL.

WHAT I CARE ABOUT ARE THE CHILDREN.

THE BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN OF THE WORLD.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]

Man: YOU SHOULD BE RUNNING THIS SCHOOL, NOT HIM.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

ONE OF THOSE KIDS IS A DRAGON!

A DRAGON!

HEY, STACY.

FAKER!

WHAT'S UP WITH HER?

SHE SAW ME EATING THE ONION

AT BRONK'S PRESS CONFERENCE,

AND SHE WAS ABLE TO PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER.

BUT NO MATTER, ONCE I FINISH WHITTLING MY ONION STACY,

I'LL ALWAYS HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SHOULDER TO...

[SNIFFING] CRY ON. [CRYING]

OW! HER BEAUTIFUL, STINGING JUICES.

[CRYING HYSTERICALLY]

YOU EVER THINK WE DIDN'T GIVE ROTWOOD ENOUGH CREDIT?

I MEAN, IT WAS PRETTY SLICK

HOW HE PRANKED BRONK AND GOT HIS OLD JOB BACK.

PLEASE, YOU THINK THAT WAS PLANNED?

ROTWOOD'S SO CLUELESS.

HE PROBABLY DID THINK THE DRAGON--

JAKE LONG! HUH?

I WOULD LIKE TO SHAKE YOUR HAND.

TO THANK YOU.

UH, SURE.

HUH? WHAT THE--

SURPRISE, SURPRISE.

ONE DROP LEFT.

IT SEEMED A SHAME TO LET IT ALL GO TO WASTE.

OH, DON'T BOTHER, MR. LONG.

I ALWAYS SUSPECTED IT WAS YOU.

BUT I'LL BE A SHRINE PRINCE UNCLE

BEFORE I LET SIGMUND BRONK TAKE CREDIT FOR MY DISCOVERY.

I WILL FIND A WAY TO EXPOSE YOU MYSELF ONE DAY.

BUT UNTIL THEN, I'VE GOT A SCHOOL TO RUN.

TA!

OH, MAN!

YOWSA! NOW ROTWOOD KNOWS THE TRUTH ABOUT JAKE.

HEY, I WONDER WHAT OTHER MAGICAL SECRETS THAT GUY KNOWS?

Rotwood: THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE? ACTUALLY A TRAPEZOID.

PIXIE DUST MADE FROM REAL PIXIES.

[SCREAMING]

BIG FOOT, QUITE LOVELY IN ANKLE-HIGH STILETTO BOOTS.

WOW! HELLO, MADAME SASQUATCH.

HUMMA HUMMA HUMMA.

BUT, OF COURSE, A FOOT RUB WILL BE NO PROBLEM FOR--

AAH! YOU PEOPLE ARE STILL HERE?

YOU SAW NOTHING. [DOOR SLAMS]