All language subtitles for The.Unicorn.S02E01.Theres.Something.About.Whoever-She-Was.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

Stop. Stop it.Whoa, whoa. That's a skunk.

Yes. Yes, it is.

Guys, I think I may have
met someone.

[shouting]Oh, God!

What do we do now?I'll take it to my vet.

He's, like, ten minutes away.

That was really nice teamwork.

Thanks for being so braveand, uh, so stupid.

[chuckles]:
Yeah.

I can't stop thinking about her.

BEN:
Well, who is she?

I have no idea.

[chuckles]

[dog barking]

Uh, hi.

May I help you?

I hope so. Uh...

Have you recently had a womancome in with a skunk?

Are you missing a skunk?

No. No, no, no, it's not-not
really about the skunk.

I'm-I'm trying to hunt down
the woman.

N-Not "hunt down." Find.

Yes. Find.

She's, uh, she's beautiful,

and we had a moment,and I'm-I'm just desperate to...

Mm-mm-- Not "desperate."
Interested.

Interested in finding her.

Look, I'm sorry if this seems
a little weird.

I promise
I'm a super normal guy.FORREST: Hey, Wade?

If I may?Yeah.

[laughs] It's actually
a charming story.

My friend here met this woman
in a cemetery

when he was celebrating
his wife's birthday.

I mean, she's dead.

Obviously. I mean,

he wouldn't be hitting on women
if she were alive.

And certainly not in a cemetery.

Although,

you know...BEN:Forrest?

Go sit by the fish tank.

Yep.

Uh, so, no... no skunks?

[whispers]:
No.

Okay. Uh, guys?
Onto the next vet.

[gags]
That's not for people.

Not at all.

[quietly]:
I'm so sorry.

FORREST:
What flavor is that?

BEN:
Five veterinarians.

Five. No skunk lady.

Well, our boy
is, uh, determined.

Look, I know it sounds crazy,

but I am being
perfectly logical.

She said that she was going
to a vet.

It's not like I'm looking for
a skunk in a dentist's office.

MICHELLE:
Well, I think it's sweet.

It's like a rom-com.
Must Love Skunks.

Thank you, Michelle.

I think it's a little more
like a stalker movie.

[chuckles]MICHELLE:
Oh.

Damn it, it's just my sister.

She's waiting to hear back

from a couple of the
colleges she applied to.

Ooh.
Ugh, I hate this. Forrest!

Whoa.Could you please sit down?

You are making me anxious.

Sorry. Can't.
Standing's my thing now.

At my job, my new job,
we all have standing desks.

It's so cool.

Yeah.I feel like a
million bucks.

I mean, look at me.

You're just standing.

No, look at my posture.
Look at my alignment.

Honestly?
I think I'm getting taller.

Look.

[chuckles]
I think it's ridiculous.

Huh.

Mm-hmm. Oh.

Uh, yeah, uh...

Okay.

Ooh.

There you go.

You're right. I love it.

Can I get my ears pierced?

Uh, no.

Okay. Let me rephrase this.

I'm getting my ears pierced.

Oh, well, uh, let me rephrase:
no, ma'am.

Dad, come on. I'm going
into seventh grade.

I can't walk around with
those clip-ons anymore.

I look like a baby.

Well, I'm sorry, but your mommade Grace wait till she was 13.

I am 13.

If you round up.

Okay. All right.

If you're so mature,
let's make a deal.

You want your ears pierced,
restain the backyard fence.

I can't do that. I'm only 12.

[sighs]

I'm telling you,
after a week of this,

my butt is as hard as rock.

I believe you.

I don't, I don't think you do.

I don't think, uh-- I'm
gonna come show you.[stammers]

You got to feel this.

Come on, give it a thwack.Nah.

[grunts]Oh, my God.

It's an e-mailfrom Sanderson State.

I can't look.[Delia gasps]

Look, don't tell me
if it's bad news.

Uh, tell me. I can take it.

Accepted.Hey!

[cheering]Good for you.

Wow, baby. You three
for three so far.

DELIA: Nice.Sanderson's a really
good school.

FORREST:Mm-hmm.And their basketball team

almost won the conference
last season.

Okay, I'm not going to college

so that you can goto basketball games.

Hey, I just want you to have
the whole college experience.

[chuckles]

Well, that's it. Andrew's gone.

Gone with his family to Maine
for the next six weeks.

Oh, honey, I'm-I'm sorry.

[sighs]But hey,

six weeks isn't that long.

It's forever, Dad.

Our relationship had just
started, and now it's dead.

I get it, kiddo.

I know. It's tough. It's tough.

You know what'd make herfeel better?

Me getting my ears pierced.Restain the fence.

I don't even know
what "stain" is.

[soft laughter]

Who ordered chips and salsa?

DELIA:Oh, Wade, I'm sorry

your search didn't turn out.

I-I know that you think
she's the one.

Even though you only spent
two minutes with her.

I'm telling you, Delia,

if you would've seen her
saving that poor skunk...

It was amazing.

Ugh, she has such a big heart.

Mm-hmm.And these piercing blue eyes.

Oh, it-- the whole thing,
it was, it was electric.

You know, it may have
only been two minutes,

but I know everything
I need to know about her.

Except for who she is
and how to find her.

[laughter]WADE:Oh, those

are just details.

I'm not giving up.

Don't think of it as giving up.

Maybe be a little
more open-minded.

There are a lot of
fantastic women in Raleigh

who are not driving
around in cemeteries

with skunks in their cars.

Michelle, that's a great idea.

I should focus
on finding her car.

Nope. Not even kind of
what I meant.

WADE:I remember that it had

a-a bumper sticker.

It was a...

an apple tree

and a-a, and a sun.

And it's, uh,

a baby blue Volvo wagon.

I mean, come on.

How many of those
could there be in this town?

Literally thousands.

Yes, but this one was old.

It's probably in the shop
all the time.

I mean, how many mechanics
can there be in this town?

Literally hundreds.

See? We're closing in.

Uh, you know what?

I'm gonna make a list of
all the mechanics

so we can all start
making some calls.

All right.We got this.All right. We got it.

We can do this!We can do this.

Yeah.Yes, we got this.

We got this, Wade!

Forrest. What are you doing?

I'm sorry. I don't know.
He's very inspiring.

[scoffs]

I'm telling you, I think Wade's
getting obsessed. What's next?

Is he gonna swab every headstonein the cemetery

to get this woman's DNA?

[laughs] Do not make
that joke in front of him.

[chuckles][phone vibrates]

Huh.What's up?

Well, Piedmont just put me
on the wait list.

[tongue clicks]To hell with them anyway, right?

You went three for four, baby.

Yeah, but Piedmont has
a really good business program.

So does Sanderson.

Plus, Piedmont's, like,
an hour's drive.

Oh, it's not worth an hour's
drive to get a good education?

Uh, yes. Of course it is, baby.

So why won't they let me in?

What the hell is wrong
with those fools?

MICHELLE:
Wade, what are you doodling?

Oh, it's the...the bumper sticker

I keep tellingyou guys about.

You know, the onethat was on her car.

I can't stop drawing it.

Oh, my God, you're still
obsessing over this.

Huh. It does look very familiar.Right?

Yeah.I-I'm thinking that this sticker

is a clue to finding her.

Look, Wade,
if something is meant to be,

fate'll make it happen.

You can't force it.

Guys, I know you mean well,

but you don't get it.[phone buzzing]

That's a client.

Hello?We don't...?

MICHELLE:
What don't I get?

Hi. Did one of you order
the salmon and miso glaze

without the miso glaze?

That was me.Right. Okay.

I'm really sorry to do this,
but it's been marinating

in the glaze all morning,
so it's, like, you know...

You can't just, like,
wash it off, or...?

Uh, yeah, well-- um, no,I think that-that would ruin it.

Just eat the glaze.
I don't like the glaze.

How about I make you
a nice niçoise salad?

There's no glaze on that.

Okay. I will have
a niçoise salad.

Great.

Thank you.

Oh, no olives.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, that-that sounds great.Okay.

Sorry about that, guys.

What did I miss?

Not much.

The chef's a bit of a pill.

[exhales]

Hey, Wade.Hey, Michelle.

Natalie? Soccer practice.NATALIE:
Coming!

Oh, my God. How can it be
soccer season already?

Where did the summer go?

Hello, Michelle.

I hope my ears aren'tblinding you.

Hi!

Check me out!

So you let her get
her ears pierced?

I had to.

She restained
the backyard fence.

I couldn't believe it.

Took her a month to do it,
but she did it.

Well, what do you know?
It looks... not great.

Yeah, yeah, it's horrible.
I got to redo it.

So, uh, any news from Piedmont?

No. I don't understand.

Why won't they let me in?

I've e-mailed, I've called,

I've written
to the admissions department.

I'm sorry.
But, hey, bright side:

Piedmont is, like, an hour away.

Oh, it's not worth an hour's
drive to get a good education?

I'm...

I'm sorry, Wade.

Look, I'm not one to give advice

on letting go of something
you want,

but don't let this
eat you alive.

And if it helps,

I think any one of these schoolswould be lucky to have you.

Aw. Thank you, Wade.

That doesn't help.

[door opens, closes]

[tongue clicks]

[exhales]

What is it with all these
impacted colons on Mondays?

Is it pizza? Is that it?

These kids, they just sit aroundeating cheese all weekend long?

Okay, Damien Jarrado.

Holy crap.

Mount Hope Elementary?
Are you sure?

Okay, yeah, I am sure. It is
the exact logo that Wade drew.

So what do we do?
Do we tell him?

I don't know.

We finally got him to realize

he's been obsessing
over this woman.

This will start it up
all over again.

True. Plus, that logo
was from a school.

She wouldn't have had that
on the back of her car

if she didn't have a kid there.

She's probably married.

FORREST:
Yeah, that's a good point.

I mean, the woman
might've been wearing a ring

and Wade just didn't even
see it, you know?

The guy did have skunk juice
in his eyes.

Yeah, h-honestly, I mean,
I think if he's finally

letting this go,

I say we just
let sleeping dogs lie.

I don't want to see him
get hurt again.

You're right. The last two yearshave been tough enough.

Agreed.

Agreed.Agreed.

All right, goodbye, y'all.

Okay, bye.

Hey, uh, see you tonight,
sugar butt.

Forest, I'm still on.

Oh, sorry.

I don't-- there's so many peopleon this call. I got lost.

♪

Hello?WADE:
Hello?

Hey, guys.

Hey, let me see that girlwith the earrings

everybody'stalking about.

Here she comes!Oh, my God...

those are so cool.

Dad, can I get my
ears pierced, please?

Sure.

Oh, um...

do I have to?

No.

Thank you.

WADE:Uh, hey, Forrest,come on in, man, have a seat.

Yeah, I can't, I can't.

I literally cannot.

This standing desk thing
is killing me, man.

My knees keep locking up.

Sometimes at work
when no one's looking,

I lie down behind the copier.

Well, wouldn't it just be easierto ask them for a sitting desk?

[laughing]:
At my job?

Yeah, right, I, I may as well

just ask them for a rocking
chair or adult diapers.

Please.

Come on, kids don't sit, Wade.

[phone buzzing]Uh...

You gonna answer that?

No. It's Andrew.

Ever since he got back,
he won't stop calling me.

Well, I thought
you missed him desperately.

That was six weeks ago, Dad.

People change.
[chuckles]

-Really?
-[laughs]

Well, if Grace can
move on that easily,

maybe there's still hope
for me, too.

[chuckles]
So, uh, so how are you doing?

[grunts]

Um... I'm okay.

I may have gone off
the deep end a little.

Yeah, you know,
the thing is, Forrest,

no matter how bad
you want something,

if the universe has
other plans for you,

at some point,
you got to make peace with it.

That's the one thing I should'velearned from losing Jill.

Yeah.

[soft chuckle]
Yeah.

Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man,
oh, man, oh, man.

What?I know something.

What?I can't tell you.

You got to tell me.

I can't tell you
because you're gonna

end up getting hurt in the end.

[stammers]
Forest,

come on, you
got to tell me.

Delia found the apple tree logo!

It's Mount Hope
Elementary School.

Oh, my God, yes!

Oh, my God, thank you!

But wait... I mean,
it's an elementary school.

Right? I mean, she could be
a mom or married or both.

Or maybe she's a teacher--
I don't know.

Look...

the only thing I do know is

what I felt in my heart.

I mean, this is the universe

finally cutting me a break!

Oh, Forrest, thank you!

[grunting]

[whimpers]

Addie?

A...Addie?

Addie!

♪

Hello.

Hi.

They sure love that new

climbing structure, don't they?

Yeah, yeah, they sure do.

It's too bad Mr. Stetson
isn't around to see it.

Yes.

Yes, that is a shame.
That's a shame.

So whose dad are you?

Uh, you know,

I-I actually don't
have a kid that goes here.

Oh.
Uh, but I-I'm not
a weirdo or anything.

I mean, I have kids-- two.

Uh, they just go
to different schools.

I'm-I'm trying to find a woman.

Uh, she's a teacher here,
I hope.

Uh, what's her name?

You know, that's the, that's

the funny thing-- I don't know.Oh.

I mean, apparently, that's,
that's not funny to you.

Look, I promise, I-I'm just

a normal guy, I mean,
I don't hang out on--

I'm looking for,
I'm just looking for a woman.

Guys, there isa stranger here.

And he is not leaving.I'm gonna go get security.

Oh, my God.

Uh...

Bye, Daddy!

WOMAN:Come on, come on, we're late.

Let's go, let's go,let's go.

Hey! Hey! You!

You're the guy,
you're the guy

from the cemetery
with the skunk!

Yes, yes.
Yes!

Oh, my God, wow,
we-we got sprayed together.

I know.What a crazy coincidence

this is.Wow, yeah, that is crazy.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I, uh, um,
I was just happening by.

Oh...I-I got, well, I got
a job in the neighborhood.

Oh, yeah.Yeah, um...

I, you know, I actually have

to scoot.
It was great seeing you.

Yeah, you... but, okay.

Okay, bye.Bye?

The universe sucks.

Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi.I am so sorry, Wade.

I guess it would've been
better if you never found out

what that sticker meant.Hey, come on.

Don't shoot
the messenger.

We didn't want a messenger.

We were tryingto hide the message.

Nah, it's okay.

I'm smarter now.

Won't make that mistake again.

I am done listening to my heart.

That's it, I'm moving on.

That's right, man,
onwards and upwards.

Cheers.FORREST: Hey.

I got some good news. Yeah.ALL: Mm.

I finally broke down and
requested a chair at work.

And it is... heaven.

Yeah, chairs are good.

We're actually sittingon them right now.

Oh, and by the end
of the day, four

of the young kids had
asked for one, too.

Yeah, including Ayesha,
smug little Miss Yoga.

Ow.So, uh, guess I
started a trend.

And I'm telling you, man,
chairs are underrated.

Everyone uses chairs, bro.

Hmm, yeah.

They do now.

Linda, Joyce, come on! Dinner![dogs barking]

Uh-oh, is her
ear infected?

Yeah, it is infected,but don't worry, hon,

'cause I already called
in the antibiotics.

No, it's fine.

Well, it's not fine
if you get sepsis.

Can't believe you let
her get her ears pierced.

She's 12.

Well, if you round up,
I mean, she is 13.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes!

I did it!

♪ I just got accepted
off the wait list ♪

♪ At Piedmont. [all cheering]

Congratulations!I told you!

That is such a great school!

Yes, it is.

It is also an hour away, though.

But isn't that worth itto get a great education?

What, and take two hours
out of my day every day?

Yeah, but it's got a great
business program, right?

Yes, and so does Sanderson and
it's only ten minutes away.

And it has a great
basketball team, too.

Baby, have you gone crazy?

I don't know, maybe...
[stammers]

This whole process has made me
very... vulnerable.

Yeah.I do not care for that.

No, but now you're in.

Now Piedmont wants you.Yes, and I am

so happy and they can suck it.

Yeah!

Go Sanderson.[doorbell rings]

WADE: Hey, girls,
pizza's here.

Hey, you know what,
if you take the

bypass, Piedmont's only,
like, 40 minutes away.

What are you doing?What are youdoing?

[chuckles]

There's a very attractive lady
here to see you.

Hey. Hi!

Hey.

Uh, met your dogs.

Uh... I see.

Uh, that's-that's Linda.

And that's, uh, that's Joyce.

And you are?

Me? I'm Wade.Yes.

Wade?Wade.

Wade, I'm Shannon.

Great, now we all four
know each other.

[both chuckle]

What, uh, what are you
doing here?

I know, I know, it's weird.

Is it weird?
It's weird, it's weird.

I'm gonna go-- no, I'm not.

I'm not gonna go. I'm gonna stay

and I'm gonna say
what I came to say.

Um...

[inhales, exhales]

I've been thinking about you.

And that is,that is such

a crazy thing to say
to a complete stranger.

So I'm gonna--
see you later, Linda.

Bye, Joyce, I...Oh, no, wait, wait,
don't, don't go, please.

Really, it's not
weird at all.

Please, come back.

It's not weird.

It's not.Okay.

What about your husband?

My ex-husband?

Ex... ex-husband?Uh-huh.

Yes! Uh... [clears throat]
Sorry.

Sorry, uh, that's sad that your
marriage didn't work out.

That's very sad.

Yeah.But you shouldn't feel weird.

Okay.
Really, uh, if
I'm being honest,

I... I have been thinking
about you, too,

for weeks and weeks.

I even went
to five veterinarians

looking for skunks.

Whoa, wow, okay, that's a lot.

Yeah, yeah, is it?
I mean, I guess, yeah,

it's a little,
a little stalkery, but, I mean,

you get it, right?
I mean, you tracked me down.

No, I googled the company name
on the side of your truck.

I thought this was
gonna be your office.

No, no, no, no, no,
this is my home.

And-and... office.
It's my home office.

[huffs]

What happened to that skunk?

Oh, I brought him
back home with me

and I let him rehab
the backyard.

And then I set him free..

And now he comes back

every night
and eats the cat food.

[both laugh]

Well, you saved his life.

He's probably in love with you.

[whispers]:Looks like you have people over.

Oh, wait! It's that--

You're that cute chef
that refused

to take that miso glaze
off my salmon.

Okay, it's because I startmarinating it in the morning.

So really there's just,there's no way.

Ah!The chess pie was unreal.

Thank you.Yeah, she brought me a piece.

The crust was amazing.

Wow!Hey, are those Birkenstocks?

Hey, guys, guys, can
I just have, like, a minute?

Okay. Okay.Yeah, whatever.

Just, please, Delia, please?

Just a minute?
Just one minute, please?

I'm gonna go.

Can I c-call you?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd like that.

Yeah, me, too.

Okay.

[exhales]

Yes! Ha!

The universe has spoken again!

[laughs]

DELIA: Oh, Wade,
so happy for you.

Yeah, thank goodnessone of your friends

was such a big softythat he spilled the beans

and made all thispossible for you.

I would've broken
eventually.

Yeah, but you didn't-- ha!

I did!

I'm the weakest.

Thank you, Forrest.

So did you get her number?

Oh! Shannon? Shannon?

Hey, Shannon!

Yeah, it's definitelya rom-com.

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