Original subtitles

-How about that in Strasbourg?

Mr. Specklin, you said Brussels in the mail!

Ah !

You got me !

There, listen, it's a big building ...

Shaped like the gods? That is to say ?

Seen from above?

But I'm not from above, Mr. Specklin, I'm from the ground.

The back door ...

Sir? Hello. Excuse me, the door behind, is this over there?

-Yes, it's all right. -Thank you.

That's good, I have the answer, Mr. Specklin.

There, I just entered the building just now. Yes.

And there, I'm going to go through a security gate, that's it.

Like at the airport, that's it! Direction...

Michel, I'm putting you in the bin!

Hello.

Hop !

I am a parliamentary assistant.

Is ...

Yeah ... Yes!

I'm back. So here I am in Parliament.

Exactly.

There, I'm in front of TV screens.

And there, a large room with pillars, what.

To the left ?

-Ah! I'm here ! -I see you. Hello.

-Hello. -Yes.

-I give you that,

it is to enter. -OK !

Hop there. Hello. -Hello.

-Good delighted bah! -Nice to meet you !

-It's over there. -Yeah?

Sorry. -Ah! Beginning of a cold?

-No I...

-Pardon ?

-No, no, I ...

-So there, it's the TV set. -Oh yeah !

It's to do the interviews. -Yeah !

It's made for that, yes!

-Do you do a little?

-No. I avoid it. -Okay.

-Here is the tractor coffee.

They call it that because the chairs look like tractor chairs.

-OK, okay!

- Hence the ... - Yes, yes, I understand!

-These are the mailboxes. -Yes.

-But there's never anything in it. Finally, I never receive anything!

Notice, neither do the others. They don't even watch, the others.

-Everyone communicates by email, so ...

-Yes that's it ! Of course !

Yes Yes !

Well...

-M. Specklin !

Mr. Specklin! I think we're calling you there!

-Well, we're taking the stairs.

-Otherwise, your installation in Brussels is going well?

-Yes Yes.

Finally, I haven't found an apartment yet. There I am in a youth hostel.

-Is that so ? -Yeah yeah.

-Ho there, what a panade! -Eh yes !

-Good, your office. I let you take your marks.

-OK. And...

-OK.

-Mr. Specklin? There is someone for you.

- Tell him I'm not here.

-But I can not !

-Why ? -Because she hears us there!

-Hm ... -And she sees us,

I believe.

Yeah, she sees us there.

-Yes ?

-She is always there !

-I'm busy !

-He is busy there.

-It's good, she's gone!

No, there it is!

* President's speech in Polish.

*...

-Sir? -Yes ?

-You can't sit here.

-Oh sorry !

Uh ... where can i ...

-Behind.

-OK. Thank you !

*...

* Samy hears a transcription of the speech in German.

*...

Nothing seems to be happening.

*...

-Eamon.

-Yes ? -Fishing Secretariat.

-Samy. -Young man...

You are in charge of the report

on the proposal for a regulation of the Parliament and of the Council

repealing Council Regulation 2115/2005 and Regulation 1385/2007.

This is an essentially technical file,

there should be no complications.

-Justly ... -You will be kind

kindly submit your amendments to me at midday?

- Today's midday?

-Today. -Okay.

Can I just ask you a question?

-Unfortunately no.

-OK.

-Good luck.

-But what did you do to us,

my poor Samy?

-But have you ever had sex?

-It's very complicated...

You are new,

you don't realize it, but it's very complicated.

-And we can't

go find out to see what it is?

-No. We can't do that, no.

-But why ?

-I've been here for three years.

It's not now that I'm going to ask how it works!

It's like these kids who arrive in 6th grade without knowing how to read or write.

For them, it's too late!

So that's how they start selling drugs and all that ...

It's the same for me !

-Yeah yeah...

-It's too late, what!

Ah is is!

-Ah is ...

-Well ! Come on, let's get started!

After all, it doesn't have to be that complicated!

Coffee ? -With pleasure !

-Go, coffee! -I'm sure we will be able to find

stuff on the internet. -Yes Yes !

Oh damn, the tank is empty! It does not matter, I will fill it.

-Mr. Specklin, there's a tap right there.

-It doesn't work, that one. -Ah OK.

"Marseillaise" music box.

...

Samy accompanies the music by whistling.

Samy turns on the tap, which works.

Whore...

-Hm ...

Nice shit! Good boy ! Thanks.

-It's not very good. -No.

Is that yours? -Yes.

-And you get to read that? -No, I don't understand anything. It's normal ?

-The opposite would not be normal.

It is planned so that we do not understand anything.

Me, if I look at this for too long,

it makes me seasick!

Parliamentary assistant?

-Yes.

-Guido. Nice to meet you. -Samy. Do you work here?

-Yes. Since...

five years already.

-Five years ? Oh yeah ! -Yes. Yes Yes...

-I'm showing you something. It's not my dick, I promise!

Over there, guys ...

Communists. They are known for their East Berlin costumes.

And over there...

Liberal Democrats.

It is the Dolce & Gabbana of the poor.

They look like City traders. But not their pay slips.

Ah! Here !

The extreme right !

They have beige, khaki, brown hues ...

As if they always came back from a hunting trip in Bavaria.

-They seem to be having a good time! -Yes of course !

They don't care!

They spit on Europe which gives them their wages every month.

Well, I was delighted!

Goodbye. -Can I ask you a question ?

-Of course !

-What is a regulation?

-Seriously? -Yes.

-A regulation is a law.

-Okay, it's a law. -It's like a law.

We call it "regulation" because ... like that, we don't upset

national parliaments. -OK !

-And your MP’s job ... In fact, your job ...

It is to propose changes to this law.

This is a report. Amendments. -Okay.

-And we have to offer twenty.

-Around twenty !

-Less than that, it's not serious.

-Okay. The nightmare !

And where do I get them, these amendments?

-Uh ...

I can find you some not too complicated amendments to insert,

if it can help you. -Ah yeah, serious! It would help me phew!

-If I find the time, yes.

Give me your email address. -Very cool ! Thank you very much !

Thank you very much !

Thank you so much.

-OK. Is that your email? -Yes. My personal email, so ...

-Arrivederci. -Thank you very much, huh!

-Hello Beautiful. - Goods, goods!

-Oh, Samy! -Michel.

-It will ?

-Not so bad ! -Well...

-You didn't find any water, finally?

-Ah, that's it!

I no longer knew why I had that! It's the jar of the machine!

Ah no but ...

-Me, I worked well on my side, and here are some amendments.

-It's not true ? -Yes !

-Wow!

Oh dear ! No but what a job!

It's amazing ! Really...

I stay silent!

Hold. -Thank you.

-It's good, it's good. Well I...

-And There you go,

25 amendments!

You didn't think I could do it, did you?

-Young man, please believe

that I have no kind of opinion about you.

-Have a good day !

Oh fuck !

Enjoy your meal.

...

-Ah, Samy!

So say...

There are Italians in the cafeteria

who said that you would have tabled amendments ... rather shady

on a document, there ...

What is it called, already?

Does that remind you of something ? -No !

-Well...

These Italians are not nice!

Huh? -Ah yes ?

-It is believed that they are nice because of their accent,

but in fact, they are not nice.

-Ah ... -Bah yes ...

Have I ever shown you a photo of my daughter?

-Not. -Ah!

I can't help it!

Wait...

Look.

-Oh ! She's cute !

-Yes.

But she is sick.

-Ah...

I am sorry. She has what ?

-A large bronchitis-angina ...

-Ah !

-But she has had that since last week, huh!

This is a real bastard, this thing! -Yeah...

The poor ! -Oh well yes, poor!

In any case...

Look, it's nice to have you with me!

-Ah? -Really !

Well, we feel less alone already! -Yeah.

-And then listen, it was a good first day, really.

-Yeah.

Merci, M. Specklin.

-Call me Michel.

-Thank you, Michel.

-You know what it is

than finning?

-Finning? I'm thinking of a video I saw on the Internet,

but it must not be that! -It's when fishermen

capture sharks, cut their fins and fins

and throw them back into the sea.

-Ah OK, I didn't know. I'm not from the coast, at the same time ...

-The practice has spread in Europe

since demand in the Chinese market has exploded.

Imagine that the shark fin is a very popular dish in China,

it is a sign of social distinction.

-Oh yeah ? Okay.

Hmm ... Coming back to this story

lobbyist ...

-There are certainly people who try to defend sharks,

but it's complicated !

They are less popular than dolphins, of course.

While dolphins are real psychopaths!

-Ah yes ? I didn't know that!

Because dolphins, in general, they seem rather nice ...

-It's the only animals to kill for fun,

with men.

They kill porpoises,

they play the pass at ten with their corpse.

- Sorry, I ... What? -I want you to add

an amendment on finning in your MEP's report.

-OK ! Okay, don't worry, it's settled!

But to come back to this lobby story.

-I make sure that your mess with the fishing lobby goes unnoticed.

In exchange, you take responsibility for having the amendment voted on finning.

-And how do I do that?

-That's the amendment.

All you have to do is drop it off.

Then, it will have to be negotiated and voted on in committee,

then in plenary.

Good luck. -Okay OK.

But why don't you do it yourself, actually?

-Only MPs

are empowered to table amendments.

-Are you not a member of Parliament?

-Ah !

Hop. An amendment that I must table.

-You could have come tomorrow morning.

-Is that so ?

-I have been informed that you wish to withdraw your 25 amendments.

Is that the case? -Yes quite.

Thank you so much.

Ah! Well...

This is Caesar!

-Non.

It's Seneca.

-Yes...

-I have always felt close to this great thinker.

-Is it because you're stoic, too?

-Stoic. -Stoicien, oui.

-He advised madmen and tyrants. Nero, Caligula ...

-Hm ...

-He ended up committing suicide.

-Yes...

Not in shape, guy. He was a little ...

Yes ... well ...

-Good evening. -Yes. Thank you so much.

And don't look all night,

it is often a member of the family who did it!

Whore...

-"The Spanish inn".

Oh, shit!