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1
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:18,080
Hey! So you are going already?
2
00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:19,440
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
3
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:24,640
Listen, I had a great time
but this...isn't a thing.
4
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,520
But we can make it a thing, eh?
5
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,320
Oh, don't get clingy, Valentine.
6
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,480
Hey, the Valentine is not clingy.
7
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:31,760
Oh!
8
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,120
(WHISPERS) You're clinging now.
9
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,720
Oh, I thought I was
holding my own hand.
10
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,440
Yeah. I'll give you a call, OK?
11
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,600
OK. Uh-uh, but you don't have
my number.
12
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,800
Oh! Valentine, your cleaner is here.
13
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,520
Uh-uh, Polly! Ah, wait! Hey!
14
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:48,960
Mama!
15
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,760
I am so glad you are here!
16
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,320
Hey, hey, Polly!
Make sure you call me!
17
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,000
I am sorry I haven't had time to, uh,
tidy up the place
18
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,440
but don't worry,
you can have the bed
19
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,200
and I will take the, uh, sofa.
20
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,000
Go and put some clothes on, eh?
OK.
21
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,600
You want to catch a cold?
I know I know. OK.
22
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:16,800
If you screw your eyes up
you can't see the words.
23
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,600
Might as well be hieroglyphics.
24
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,920
Oh, I really want the catering
business to go up a level
25
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,240
and I dunno where to start.
26
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:27,240
Oi!
27
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:30,360
That food you did for little Dylan's
third birthday was brilliant.
28
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,680
It's not gonna get us
a house in Essex.
29
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,080
I wanna do proper events!
30
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:36,960
That aren't at the Milton.
31
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:42,080
Well, maybe these will help.
Business cards.
32
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:43,800
I was up all night cutting them.
33
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,440
The first lot are a bit funny
looking
34
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,360
and, uh, there's a bit of blood
on the ones at the end
35
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,520
but everything else
between is perfect.
36
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,080
Thanks, babe.
37
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,160
Oh, well, I just wanna make sure
that you and the kids are set up for,
38
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:57,720
you know, when I...die.
39
00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,040
(LAUGHS) Oh, stop it!
40
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,520
You're not going anywhere.
41
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,920
That is so, so sweet of you to say.
42
00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,000
You're not gonna die, you plum!
It was a panic attack.
43
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,480
Yeah, well, you weren't there.
44
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:13,160
It was like I could feel death's
cold, bony hand around my heart
45
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,640
and all around my hips.
46
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:16,800
Oh! Oh, it's happening again.
What?
47
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:17,920
Argh!
Bagpipes?
48
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:21,240
My leg! I can't feel my leg.
My foot's gone numb.
49
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,080
God.
50
00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,000
Oh, wait a minute.
51
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,760
Oh! A bit of Lego in my slipper. Ha!
52
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:35,400
Honestly, Ag, all these books, they
bang on about seizing the moment.
53
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,640
Which bloody moment do I seize?
54
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:39,560
The washing the pants and socks
moment
55
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,240
or picking carrot out the hair
moment?
56
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,760
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
57
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:43,920
Who are they?
58
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,160
Gangsters.
With clipboards?
59
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,880
Organised gangsters, then.
60
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,800
You right, Prince Charming?
61
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,600
Oh! Hello. Charles Lander.
62
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,240
Kirsty.
63
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,280
Hello.
Hello.
64
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,320
Are you here about
the car parking spaces?
65
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,360
I guess you could say that.
Do you live here?
66
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,600
Yes.
You obviously don't.
67
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,840
Actually, do either of you know
68
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,400
where I could grab
a decent bite to eat?
69
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,320
The Milton does good food.
70
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:14,880
What?!
Mm.
71
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,840
I wouldn't call the food
at The Milton good.
72
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,800
Or food.
(BOTH LAUGH)
73
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,440
New chef.
74
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,800
You should pop in.
75
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,040
Just not today.
Definitely not today.
76
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,600
OK. When are they open?
77
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,280
When are you next in the area?
78
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,920
Thursday.
They're open on Thursdays.
79
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:34,240
OK, well, that sounds great.
80
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:35,920
I will be there.
81
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,960
See you...I hope.
OK.
82
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,200
Bye-bye.
83
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,280
We didn't find out
what they're up to.
84
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:43,760
Who cares?
85
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,960
I've just got my first rich
customer, Ag, for my restaurant.
86
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,000
What?! I didn't know
you had a restaurant.
87
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,160
Neither did I. Neither does Frank.
Mm.
88
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,520
Gotta seize the moment.
Gotta seize it till it bloody cries.
89
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,960
You dis woman! Huh?
(LAUGHS) Yeah!
90
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,360
There were these men
on the estate today -
91
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,280
sharp suits, nice cars...
92
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,800
Bailiffs?
No, I don't think so.
93
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,200
And then, when I went to work
94
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,800
I saw a picture of one of them
in the office.
95
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,760
I don't think they're here
for parking spaces.
96
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:24,880
Oh! Agnes Christie and the Mystery
of the Ordinary Coincidence.
97
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,720
Walter, I'm being serious.
98
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,200
I'm...
(DOOR SLAMS)
99
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,520
Well, there was a time when you
would come home and say hello.
100
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,200
Hello.
101
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,400
Oh, are you hungry?
102
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,160
The food done done.
No, darling.
103
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,680
I'm not hungry anyway.
104
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,600
Come here. Where have you been?
105
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,760
Out.
"Out".
106
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:47,080
I know that, by the way that
you slammed the door off the hinges.
107
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,560
Leave it out.
108
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:49,600
Kobna...
"Leave it out"?!
109
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,360
Listen, I will leave you out if you
talk to me like that again, eh?
110
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,520
Foolish boy!
(DOOR SLAMS)
111
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,480
Utter cheek! That boy
eats all the food, pays no rent.
112
00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,560
Who does he think he is -
Valentine?
113
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,800
No, no, no, no, no, no.
114
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:07,040
You know, I bet you didn't
tell your mama everything, mm?
115
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,240
Mm...
116
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,000
Look, Kobna is becoming a man.
117
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,320
Maybe we need to start
treating him like one.
118
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:14,960
With my belt.
119
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:19,840
(AFROBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)
120
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,240
(LAUGHS JOYOUSLY)
121
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,240
(APPLAUSE)
122
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,880
(LAUGHS)
123
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:29,960
Whoo!
124
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,560
I haven't danced like that
since I was 16 years old.
125
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,480
Hey!
126
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,560
You have a talent, my son!
127
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,600
Thank you.
I've dedicated myself to the art.
128
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,440
Well, now you need to
dedicate yourself
129
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,440
to the art of finding a good woman.
130
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,120
Oh, don't worry, Mama.
There are plenty of good women here.
131
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,160
Look at that one.
132
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,320
Hey!
133
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:57,800
You need to check the soil
in which you are sowing your seeds.
134
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,680
I want it to look swanky, Frank.
135
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,120
My whole business model is swanky.
136
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:03,960
Yeah, it's about the branding,
Frank.
137
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,360
Like the golden M or Jesus's cross.
138
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,920
Yeah, but in Kirsty's case, swank.
139
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,160
How many power points have you got?
140
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,520
Kirsty's got enough hot plates
to cater for Live Aid.
141
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,480
Uh, big man,
I would not touch that.
142
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,080
(SHOUTS ABOVE MUSIC) I am going to
find you a nice woman.
143
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,120
No, Mama, that is not necessary.
It is.
144
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,600
Don't do that Bagpipes! Don't...
145
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,080
I am going to find you...
(MUSIC STOPS)
146
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,240
..a good, wholesome woman
147
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:34,640
who you can marry
and plant your seed in, hey!
148
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,000
Oh...Mama.
(GIGGLING)
149
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,600
Why did you say that?
150
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,640
Oh...sorry.
151
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:41,840
See.
152
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,480
Do you think anyone will notice
if I have a little nap before lunch?
153
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,080
Here? Mm, you'll be fine.
154
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,400
Now, look. Who is this man?
155
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,720
Does he come here?
156
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,680
Him? Yeah, I've seen him around.
157
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,560
Gorgeous, isn't he?
Mm.
158
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,840
Like Shakespeare
dipped in chocolate.
159
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,640
Oh, no! I've done it again,
haven't I?
160
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:07,680
Mm.
161
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,400
They should really
send me on a course or something.
162
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,880
Or something.
163
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,280
Do you know him?
164
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,120
No, but I'm glad
he's brightening up the place.
165
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,800
Better than hairy Roy in dispatch.
166
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,480
Although, Roy doesn't
have a girlfriend so...
167
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,000
Hey!
168
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,240
Oh.
169
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:35,840
Hey.
170
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,560
Hello. Hey, hey.
171
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,240
So pleased to meet you.
172
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,480
Ooh! Strong.
173
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,880
Hm, hm. Hey, hey.
174
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,440
Deborah, say hello.
175
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,920
Pleased to meet you.
176
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,360
And, uh, you.
177
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,800
Aha.
OK.
178
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,120
Mm-hm.
179
00:07:56,600 --> 00:08:00,400
Why...why don't you
go and get cleaned up
180
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,560
and then we can all go downstairs.
181
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,600
Downstairs, to the pub?
182
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:05,880
Yes.
183
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:09,280
Then we can all get
to know each other better.
184
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,520
Oh...
185
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,200
Oh!
186
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,640
Oh.
187
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:17,360
Excuse me, I just need to...
sch, sch, sch...freshen up.
188
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,000
OK.
189
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,280
Mama, look at him!
190
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,760
(MUTTERS FURIOUSLY)
191
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,920
Eh, sit down!
Eh.
192
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,360
Eh.
Oh!
193
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,560
Excellent!
194
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:35,080
(BAMAKO BY SONGHOY BLUES PLAYS)
195
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,680
What a dump.
196
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,200
It'll be unrecognisable
by the time I'm done with it.
197
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,440
Alright, we'll start cracking on
in the morning.
198
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,720
Who are you, Mr Lander?
199
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,640
(SINGS) We can't go on together...
200
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:10,520
Shh!
With suspicious minds
201
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,880
And we can't build our dreams...
202
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,840
What did you do?
What is keeping you?
203
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:35,360
I think I was hoping that everyone
would just forget about it and leave.
204
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,400
Why?
205
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,000
What is wrong with your mama
finding you a woman
206
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,760
who does not expose her bottom
in public?
207
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,360
At least you know what
you are getting, eh? (CHUCKLES)
208
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:46,840
Ooh. Sorry, Mama.
209
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:51,520
Look, I need to do
this in my own way.
210
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:52,880
This is a...
211
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,600
The perfect opportunity
212
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,560
for you to meet
the mother of your children.
213
00:09:57,560 --> 00:10:00,160
Hey! You are behaving like
the African Cilla Black.
214
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,200
Hey! Who is this black Cilla?
215
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,280
Oh, she's a lady that does...
216
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,680
Actually, it doesn't matter.
I'm not happy with you.
217
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,760
I want to go to my grave
218
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:18,640
with the knowledge that my son, his
wife and my future grandchildren,
219
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:24,080
all three of them,
are well and safe before I die.
220
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,680
OK, OK. Hey, hey.
221
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:27,760
Come on, you know I don't like it
when you talk like that.
222
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,160
(SIGHS)
223
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,480
OK. (SIGHS)
224
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,440
I will do this. Hm, hm, hm, hm?
225
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,920
For you, hey-hey?
Oh!
226
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,440
This makes me so happy.
227
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,000
Hey, hey. Good.
228
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,360
OK. Now, change the shirts.
229
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,160
It makes you look like a goat.
230
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:52,280
(MAGNUM PI THEME PLAYS)
231
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,560
What time did you say we're open?
232
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:35,040
7:00.
233
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,160
Right.
234
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,720
Welcome to Kirsty's.
235
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,200
May I take your name, please?
236
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,040
It's, uh...Valentine.
237
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,800
Easmon. I called earlier.
238
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,920
Oh, yes! There you are.
239
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,000
I'll get Dean to show
you to your, um...
240
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,200
Dean?
241
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,920
(MACHINE MAKES ELECTRONIC NOISES)
242
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,280
(YELLS) Dean!
243
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,560
Can you show these customers
to the table, please, Dean?
244
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,000
Oh.
245
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,040
Thank you.
246
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:33,160
Well, I'm glad you've turned up.
Nobody else has.
247
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,400
Hey, the less witnesses
the better, eh?
248
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,960
Yeah, but I need more people in here.
249
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,600
Oh, I know! I'll get Bagpipes
to fetch Walter.
250
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:41,720
(YELLS) Bagpipes!
251
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,200
What?
252
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,920
WALTER: Kobna! If you leave
the bathroom like this again,
253
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,480
I will send you to live with Mama!
254
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,600
Leave me alone!
No, don't slam the door!
255
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,760
(DOOR SLAMS)
Mm, plan B me thinks.
256
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,600
I hope you're hungry, Rajesh.
257
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:08,480
So, Valentine, you're a DJ.
So exciting.
258
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:12,160
A man with music in his heart.
259
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,880
Yes, it is my passion.
260
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:17,000
Oh! Deborah likes music, don't you?
261
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,920
Oh, yes. Very much.
262
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,480
What is your favourite hymn,
Valentine?
263
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,920
Hymn? Oh...uh...
264
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,880
Oh, yes, my hymn. It is, uh...
265
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,760
Do they know it's Christmastime
at all...
266
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:35,000
Valentine also has
a day job, don't you?
267
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,200
He travels all over the country.
268
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,440
Ah! A businessman, Deborah.
269
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,320
Well, yeah, you could say that.
270
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:47,280
Deborah, what do you do
in your spare time?
271
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:48,880
Ah!
272
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:50,320
I pray.
273
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,640
(LAUGHS)
274
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:59,280
My daughter,
I mean she's so witty.
275
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:04,880
It may seem quite unattractive
but it's actually very endearing.
276
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,760
OK, why don't I buy
everybody drinks, hey?
277
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,200
Uh, Deborah, help him out.
278
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,280
Uh, no, no, no. It's OK, I got it.
279
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:22,160
Hey, uh, can I have a tonic and
lemon, an orange juice and a cola.
280
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,040
Eish, and I'll have
a triple hairy naughty bastard.
281
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,080
Actually, hold on the naughty
and make it all bastard.
282
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,600
Teaching your liver some respect?
283
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,200
Hey. My mother has set me up
with that lady over there.
284
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,720
Which one? The old one
or the younger-looking one?
285
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,960
I wish it were the older one.
(LAUGHS)
286
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,720
Or you.
287
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,680
Are you asking me out on a date
while you're on a date?
288
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,920
You can't blame me for trying, eh?
289
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,960
I can, actually.
290
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,640
Does this approach
usually work for you?
291
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:59,240
My charms have a 100% success rate.
292
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,760
Is it? 100%, yeah?
293
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,800
Mm-hm, that's what I said.
294
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,680
Well, I guess I'm just the exception
that proves your rule.
295
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,480
Hey! Don't watch me.
296
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:28,240
(BAMAKO BY SONGHOY BLUES PLAYS)
297
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:33,960
Now's my chance.
298
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,440
Hey, cramp!
299
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,640
Mr Lander!
300
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,480
Welcome.
301
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:03,480
So when you said "they" do food
you meant "you" do food?
302
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,080
Yeah.
303
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,200
Sorry. Is that a piss-take?
304
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,160
Absolutely. But it's a good one.
305
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,920
Can I help you with your coat?
Thank you.
306
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,760
I simply cannot wait to sample
the fine delectations.
307
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,560
Yes!
308
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:26,480
I hear wonderful things
about the chef -
309
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,360
compliments and such.
310
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,080
Yes!
311
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,640
Here you are, sir.
Thank you.
312
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,480
Lovely glass of red wine.
313
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,160
Aggie! You made it!
314
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,000
Come and sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.
315
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:46,680
Mm. This orange juice
is so delicious.
316
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,240
Oh!
Oh.
317
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,200
Hello again.
Hey, hello.
318
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,160
Do you know, I never saw you there.
319
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,360
Ah, nice surprise for both of us.
Do you know... (CLEARS THROAT)
320
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,560
..you never told me
what brings you here.
321
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,800
Oh, I'm working on a project
with the council.
322
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,360
Oh, you know, I work
for the council too.
323
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:11,800
Oh! You'll be at the conference,
then?
324
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,200
The conference?
325
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,960
Well, it's a little something I've
organised for the council staff.
326
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,280
Well, I hope you can make it.
327
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,840
It'd be great to get your input,
actually.
328
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,800
And voila.
329
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,400
Ah, thank you.
330
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,320
Hey! We ordered first!
331
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,400
Bobo? I mean...Kobna.
332
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,680
I was wondering if, uh...
you would like to go to the pub...
333
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,400
..with me, have a drink...
334
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,880
..like, uh...like men.
335
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,360
Can I get any drink I want?
Oh, yes.
336
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:44,760
Anything you want - Coke or Pepsi.
337
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,320
Or Babycham?
338
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,600
Well, you could have a...
a shandy like a real man.
339
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,320
Yes!
340
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,200
OK, let me get my coat.
341
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,560
Well, this has been lovely, eh?
342
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:09,000
Please don't go. This was going so
much better than the other times.
343
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,600
Other times?
This is the third one this week!
344
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:16,000
If you tried a little bit harder
we wouldn't have to do so many.
345
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,840
A little make-up for instance!
346
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,560
I will wear make-up for one man.
347
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,520
Jesus.
Ah!
348
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,480
Not for some delivery driver
in a strange pub.
349
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,480
I'm also a DJ.
350
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:32,400
Just a minute, young lady!
You are not so special yourself!
351
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,640
Hey!
352
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,800
Don't you be talking
to my daughter like that!
353
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,160
OK, maybe we should order starters?
May we go now, Mummy?
354
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,200
Hush!
Be quiet!
355
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,960
Now you...
Mummy...
356
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:49,040
(BOTH YELL OVER EACH OTHER)
357
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:06,040
Hey. There I was, a panic attack.
358
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,600
It's a bit like
having a heart attack,
359
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,200
but it's having a panic attack.
360
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:15,880
At first I was like...
(BREATHES RAPIDLY)
361
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,240
And then...and then it was like...
362
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,440
Argh! Argh!
363
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:23,280
Argh! Argh! Argh!
364
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:24,280
Yeah.
365
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,920
It sounds awful.
366
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,200
Oh...ugh!
My daughter is...
367
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,240
She will suck the life
out of my son!
368
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,200
Ha! He should be so lucky!
369
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,120
Nobody is sucking anybody.
370
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:37,000
OK, let's not throw
anybody's ideas off the table.
371
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,560
(WOMEN CONTINUE SHOUTING)
372
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,560
Um...must, uh, get on.
373
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,040
Nice meeting you, uh, both.
374
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,240
Yes!
375
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:46,120
Repent! Repent!
376
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:48,400
KIRSTY: Oh, are you leaving already?
Look...
377
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,440
..this...
You can't even talk properly!
378
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,560
..is madness.
379
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,840
But your food...
Mm?
380
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,280
..so good.
381
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,080
Look, I'd like to recommend you
to some people.
382
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,520
How will I get in touch?
383
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,880
Ooh, um...
Ta-da!
384
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,800
I made these.
385
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,760
You did, didn't you?
386
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,720
(CONTINUE SHOUTING)
387
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:20,120
(TURNING JAPANESE
BY THE VAPORS PLAYS)
388
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,800
Look what you've done,
you silly boy!
389
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,600
Oh! Oh, dear! I'm on fire.
Raj!
390
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,200
Oh, my God! Oh!
391
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,200
(CONTINUE YELLING)
392
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:37,960
I've got to work in the morning!
393
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,000
I'm on fire! I'm actually on fire!
394
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,720
Health and safety! Health and...
395
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,000
That's bloody ice!
396
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,720
Not tonight, son.
397
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,760
Not tonight.
398
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,120
Come on.
399
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:03,840
Agnes, thank you
for looking after my boys.
400
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,720
Why do you have to go?
401
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,560
Ah, it's time I went back
to Freetown. England too cold.
402
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,960
Where's Walter?
Oh, I'm here!
403
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,520
I was just packing your Opal Fruits.
404
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,120
Oh...
405
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,920
Oh, now, come. Come.
406
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,360
I'm sure I will see you again soon.
407
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,600
Mm-mm.
408
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,640
If I don't...
BOTH: Ah! No, no, no.
409
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:30,680
IF I don't, I will always be here.
410
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,160
Hm?
411
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,600
And here.
Ow!
412
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,160
OK, OK, OK.
413
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,800
So buck up, hey?
Mm.
414
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,080
You can't miss me if I'm not gone.
415
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,200
Hey, hey. Ah!
416
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,280
God go with you, Mama.
417
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,280
Ah... (SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE)
..my daughter.
418
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,840
Bye, Grandma.
Bye.
419
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,640
Don't worry, Kobna.
You'll see Mama again, huh?
420
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,600
Oh, I'm gonna miss Mama.
Oh.
421
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,360
I don't want her to go.
422
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,600
Valentine, stop the car!
423
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,440
She's not going.
(CHUCKLES) Hey-hey-hey!
424
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,080
Mama!
I've left my Harrods carrier bag.
425
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,240
(SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE)
Oh!
426
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,280
Agnes! Come open the door.
427
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,760
Me?
428
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,360
You laughing?
Mm-hm.
429
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,040
Then go open the door.
Kobna, go open the door.
430
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,200
Kobna your hair
looks like a black sponge.
431
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,480
Walter!
432
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,000
Go, quick!
Look at your hair.
433
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,000
Spongy, spongy, spongy.
Oh, OK.
434
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,240
(UCHANDIFUNGA
BY FOUR BROTHERS PLAYS)
435
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,480
Captions by Red Bee Media
436
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,000
Copyright Australian Broadcasting
Corporation
437
00:22:57,050 --> 00:23:01,600
Repair and Synchronization by
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