All language subtitles for IRL.2019.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

(engaging dramatic music)

(keyboard taps)

(gentle piano music)

(keyboard clacks)

(keyboard taps)

(keyboard taps)

- Try it in black.

(uptempo drum beat)

Maybe not full black,
something a little lighter.

(percussion beats)

Maybe slightly bigger on the font.

(snare beats)

How about a different color?

(rhythmic percussion)

Oh, oh yeah, I like that.

Now, maybe a little smaller on the font.

(light percussion music)

Perfect.

Great work, Ian, great work.

How do you feel about it?

- I'm happy if you're happy.

- Thank you very much.

You know, I knew you
were the right choice.

(laughs)

Oh, is there something else?

Oh, right, right, right.

I'm a bit short on time.

Mm-hm.

There's progress here.

But, it's just not what we're looking for!

- Too many notes?

- It's just a bit derivative.

(dramatic piano music)

Great work on the logo, though, truly.

- Thanks.

- [Taymour] How'd it go?

- [Ian] He really liked the logo.

(melancholic orchestral music)

(delicate piano music)

(keyboard clacks)

(stirring orchestral music)

(keyboard clacks)

(computer closes)

(Ian sighs)

(bed creaks)

(birds chirp)

(engaging piano music)

(strokes violently strike)

(uptempo piano music)

(somber piano notes)

(phone beeps)

So, what actually made
you use a dating site?

I mean, I'm sure you got guys
asking you out all the time.

- Well, my friend met
her boyfriend online?

and our other friend
did too, but my sister,

she just got engaged
and she met hims online.

So, I figured I must
as well give it a shot.

- You had any luck?

- A few dates, it's kind of overwhelming.

- Yeah, I know, I hear there's
so many assholes out there.

- I know, the assholes
are easy to deal with.

You just delete whatever crude

bullshit they say or whatever.

The racially-charged things
used to bother me a bit more,

guys talking about catching Yellow Fever.

- Wait, what?

People would do that in a message?

- Yes, the overwhelming part
were all the sweet messages.

You know, I would get these thoughtful,

sincere messages from guys responding

to my profile and
showing general interest,

and then I'm just not
attracted to the person.

I used to try to respond
but it was so much.

I don't even know these
people and suddenly

I'm investing so much emotional energy

just trying to let them down easy,

I just had to stop responding.

- I get it, it's exhausting.

- I feel bad about it.

- No, I send at least 10
messages a day and every

single time and get invested enough

to actually write a great
message and then somehow

not be attached to whether
or not they respond.

So, then I'll see like an amazing profile,

spend so long trying to
write an good message,

and then nothing, no response, it...

- That seems like a lot
of messages to send.

- You know, it's how it works.

- [Jessica] Well, I don't
know, it just seems like a lot.

How many messages did you send today?

- Okay, totally--

- [Jessica] Ian?

- When I first started, when
I first started online dating,

I would just message one person,
and I'd spend three weeks

like getting to know them and
building a real connection,

and then we get in person
and there's nothing.

There is no chemistry.

You can learn more in five
minutes of meeting someone

than you can in 100s of messages online.

- So, let me get this
straight, you message what,

a dozen women a day even when
you have a date that night?

- [Ian] Okay, I get that, that...

- Yeah, this was a really
nice place that you brought

me to and you went out and got me flowers.

I was excited to be taken out
instead of just casual coffee,

but it's pretty hard to feel
special when you get the vibe--

- You are, you are special.

I don't how to say it, I
don't wanna lie to you.

I don't wanna lie to
you on our first date,

but okay, yes, when I
like someone I go all out

and how is that any different than someone

who just goes to coffee every single time?

- Because I'm aware that
coffee isn't special.

This actually felt special, but actually

it's just what you do every single time.

- All right, dinner,
flowers, that stuff used

to be standard, that's not my fault,

that's other guys these days,
and what's the alternative?

Casual has never worked for me.

I mean, I would go to coffee with a girl

and I'd think that she was so amazing,

and then she'd be like, "Oh, I'm sorry.

"I see you more as just a friend,"

which of course she did because

we got coffee which is what friends do.

- Or, maybe if it was truly
special it would transcend

even just getting coffee, and maybe doing

all of this makes it feel
more special than it is.

- Okay Jessica, I'm sorry, what,

I can't change what happened before.

- You know how some couples
are right on the verge

of marriage, and then
months before the wedding

they break up, usually
because one person realized

it wasn't a good fit and had the sense

to back out before
things got even messier?

And then, within a year the
person who got broken up with

is married, and it's like
when that happens the person

who got broken up with just
can't adjust their life plan.

They've alread carved out a
spot for a wife or a husband

and now it just feels
like a big hole is there.

So, they just shove the
next person that fits.

Because their plan becomes
more important than the person.

When you try to make everything special,

on some level, nothing is.

- Another date?

Man, you need to be painting, not dating.

- [Ian] Dude, they're
not mutually exclusive.

- For you they are.

Remember when you got
rejected form CalArts?

Instead of using that
for your work, everything

was suddenly about getting
back together with Tina.

How she was really the one.

Listen, dude, you can do this.

I know you can.

You just gotta stop running
away from your bullshit, okay?

Use that.

So, while I'm gone why
don't you use my space?

- No, I don't wanna
use up all your paint--

- I'm gone three months, Ian.

These paints, these brushes,
they need to breathe,

they need to live, all
right, so let them live.

(brush scrubs)

(paint can clanks)

(keyboard clacks)

(dramatic piano music)

- [Ian] I don't even know
where to begin, from your love

of Berryman, to your preference
for "The Royal Tenenbaums"

over all of the Wes Anderson movies,

to your insistence on
using the oxford comma.

We have more in common than
I could ever list here.

I think it is amazing
that you travel the world.

It's so beautiful that you make sure

to volunteer one day no
matter were you travel.

I can't imagine what an incredible

and humbling experience that must be.

You carry around "Letters
to a Young Poet."

I haven't read it 100 times like you,

but it is a book that changed my life.

What's your favorite quote from it?

Mine is easily, "Perhaps
all the dragons of our lives

"are princesses, who are only waiting

"to see us beautiful and brave.

"Perhaps everything terrible
is in deepest being,

"something helpless that
wants help from us."

Honestly, I could go on and on,

but nothing I say is
gonna top Rilke's words.

I'm ian.

(birds chirp)

(bed creaks)

(Ian sighs)

(engaging drum music)

Who's that?

- Christina.

- What, you're not gonna see
her in New York, are you?

- Maybe, maybe.

- Dude, do not go down that road again.

- Yeah, you'd do the same for
the best sex of your life.

- What about Samantha?

- I don't know, I'm gone all summer, what?

- Just for weeks you
wouldn't shut up about

this hilarious joke Samantha made

and this amazing conversation you had,

or how fucking hot she is.

- Look, I know it sounds
messed up, but I've told you,

when a girl gets too
interested, it doesn't work.

- Yeah, so back to the manipulative chick

who never really cared about you.

- Look, relax, I thought
we're here to see some art?

- All right this, this is not art.

- Come on, this is why you're here.

I mean, look.

- Yeah, no, Pop Art was bad
enough when it happened,

like I get it made some
commentary on consumerism.

The entire movement made one point.

To see the same shit 50 years
later is a waste of time.

- [Taymour] What are you so pissed about.

- You have this amazing girl
who could be everything you

ever want right in front of
you, thrown way, because what?

She's too interested?

- You date her then.

- I would date the shit out of Samantha.

- Then I'll give her your number okay?

- Dude, she doesn't like me,

she likes you, just like they always do.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I
know, it's not your fault.

I'm good all right?

I'm good, let's catch
your flight, all right?

(light percussion beat)

(dramatic piano music)

(water runs)

(phone rings)

Fuck!

Hey.

- [Sofia] Hi, do you know who this is?

- [Ian] I was hoping.

- [Sofia] You sound out of breath.

Is this a bad time?

- Now I was just brushing my teeth

and I raced to grab the call.

- [Sofia] Wait, you raced to brush

your teeth after sending me your number?

- [Ian] Ah, maybe.

- [Sofia] You brush your
teeth for a phone call?

- Okay, I realize that
doesn't make any sense.

- [Sofia] It does and it's very sweet.

- Yeah?

- [Sofia] Yeah, you're racing around

to get ready for a phone call.

- Well, I was excited.

You know, calling's cool, or whatever,

I wasn't overly excited or
interested after two messages

and 30 seconds of a phone
call, it was whatever.

- [Sofia] Oh, well good,
because I prefer my men

to be so aloof and so
caught up in their own image

that I become completely expendable.

- Oh perfect, should I neg you now?

- Yes, please.

- Your voice is kind of okay, I guess.

- [Sofia] What kind of neg is that?

- I don't know, I've never done it before.

Isn't supposed to be like
this back-handed compliment?

- [Sofia] I'm not sure,
but that was neither.

It was just vague.

- Ah, okay, let me, let me try again.

I'm not usually attracted
to voices like yours.

- [Sofia] Ouch.

Okay, that was better.

Let me try to prove to you how attractive

my voice can be in sick validation.

- Woo, we are great at this.

- Experts.

- You know, clearly we have had
the best dating experiences.

- [Sofia] Oh, clearly.

- Hence, taking our talents online.

- [Sofia] Oh, did you not see my profile?

I actually have a boyfriend.

I just run a service helping guys improve

their profiles and send their messages.

- Wait, really?

- No.

- [Sofia] Oh my gosh, you believed me--

- All my hopes and dreams
just flashed before my eyes.

- [Sofia] Oh yeah, but I hook.

- Amazing.

- [Sofia] Well good, you
know, it's funny, I love art

but I swore I would never date an artist.

- Oh yeah and why is that, why is that?

- [Sofia] All the usual stereotypes,

which I guess is unfair.

- Hey, I'm just grateful for any

of your stereotypes or
biases that kept you

single long enough for me to get my shot.

(Sofia chuckles)

What was the last piece of
art that truly arrested you?

- [Sofia] Wow, now that's a question.

Are you familiar with Umberto Boccioni?

- I know the name but I
don't really know the work.

- [Sofia] He was so young when he died.

He was not like these other artists

that kept painting the
same things over and over,

long after art has
progressed and moved on.

No, he was right in the middle of it.

I mean, who knows how many
paintings we don't get now?

By the end with Pollock,
and Picasso, and Ed Ruscha,

we felt like that we have
seen everything that could do,

but Boccioni, gosh, he
as just getting started.

And it is, "The City Rises"
to answer your question.

- [Ian] Oh wow, wow, I just pulled it up.

It looks pretty cool.

- [Sofia] What, no, no,
no, no, what are you doing?

Oh my God.

- Sorry, sorry, okay.

- [Sofia] No, every
image whether blurs out

the brush strokes on top
that make it come to life,

or they capture the brush strokes but then

the entire images loses shape.

Oh, it's like there's a vibrancy.

There's a life to this piece,
like nothing I have ever seen.

It literally stopped me in my tracks.

That's why I find it so
striking that you use

the word, arrested, because that's exactly

what this painted did to me.

- Well, I don't think I ever wanted

to see a painting more in my life.

- [Sofia] It's part of the
permanent collection at MoMA.

- Oh, we'll have to go sometime.

- [Sofia] Yeah, yeah, we will.

- Okay, so, I don't usually do this,

but I also don't usually hit
it off with people like this,

so, I was wondering, do you
wanna be super spontaneous

and got out to dinner tonight?

- [Sofia] Oh, Ian, I really
would love to but I can't.

- Yeah, no, yes, of course, right yeah.

I understand.

- [Sofia] No, no, no,
no, you don't understand.

I'm not in LA right now.

My mom is sick, she has cancer.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

- [Sofia] Don't be sorry.

She's going for a double
mastectomy next week,

so I'm here to be with her.

- I can't even imagine what
you're going through right now.

I'm so glad she has you.

- [Sofia] We are very optimistic.

She's a doctor, so she's
getting the best care possible

and the oncologist is very confident

that they'll be able to get it all.

- [Ian] I'm sorry.

- [Sofia] Don't say that.

Sorry is for when you lose something.

This is I don't know, it's just one

of those life moments, I guess.

But, I am going to be here for a month.

- Where is here?

- [Sofia] Mexico City.

- Wow, that is far.

- [Sofia] Yeah, it is.

Look, I understand if
you're not interested.

I was going to delete my profile

but then I got your message,
and I wasn't even going

to respond, I had so many things going on.

But it was the best
message I've ever received

and I really tried to restrain myself

from responding but I couldn't.

- That was like less than 24 hours ago.

- [Sofia] I know, I got it last night

and I might have stayed
up later than I would like

to admit just trying not to respond.

- I'm really glad you did.

- [Sofia] Me too.

But I'm not there.

Look, we can always try
when I get back again,

if you're available, when
can probably meet for coffee.

- Sofia.

- [Sofia] Yeah?

- This is something special.

Look at the way we just
jumped into conversation,

skipping all of that boring small talk.

Look, maybe you don't have this problem,

because you are so damn fascinating,

but moments like this are rare,

and when I encounter it, I'm
smart enough to hold onto it.

A month is nothing.

And, I know you are going through so much

and we've just met, but I'm here,

as much here as you'll want me.

- [Sofia] Wow, you are amazing.

- Me, have you seen yourself?

- [Sofia] Yeah, I have.

- You're the amazing one.

- [Sofia] Why does me being
amazing mean that you aren't?

I gotta go now, but I would
love to talk to you soon.

- I would love that too.

- [Sofia] Thank you, Ian.

- For what?

Sofia?

(engaging piano music)

(messages beep)

(phone rings)

Hey, I thought you with your mom?

- [Sofia] I am.

I just have to escape for a second.

Oh my God, escape it's so bad.

- Oh yeah, no, no, I think
I know what you mean.

- [Sofia] I'm in this random stairwell.

Everything just feels so crammed!

I've been here with my mom so many times

when she was working, but it's like

everything just feels so phony now.

- Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, how's she doing?

How's she doing, is she doing okay?

- [Sofia] She's a tough one.

- How are you doing?

- [Sofia] I'm not quite as tough, but I am

trying to stay strong for her.

- No, you don't have to do that for me.

- [Sofia] That's quite the gift.

- All you gotta be is exactly
who you are, that's it.

- [Sofia] You don't
believe in God, do you?

- No, that was unexpected.

- [Sofia] I saw it on your
profile, and it's just

with my mom and everything
that's happening right now.

- Yeah, no, I don't

- [Sofia] I don't know how you do that.

Religion is so important in my culture.

Questioning was never even an option.

I mean, even my mom,
this woman of science.

She went to confession every week.

And yes, I've always had my doubts,

but when everything around
you is built on believing--

- I mean, our entire society
is built on believing.

How do you ever get anyone go to die

in your war if you think this it?

How do you ever comfort their loved ones

if they think there's
not some better place?

- [Sofia] You don't think
there's a better place?

- Okay, I realize this is the worst time

to say it, but I don't.

- [Sofia] That scares me.

- Of course, of course it scares you.

I mean that's terrifying.

- [Sofia] Then why don't you believe?

- Me wanting something to be true

is not enough of a reason to believe it.

- [Sofia] I don't wanna
believe this is it.

- Neither do I.

- [Sofia] The only way that
I was able to get through

my dad passing was believing
he was in a better place,

and yeah, I was 10-years-old,
but now I can't get over it.

I can accept this being
the only love that I get,

but how could I possibly wish that

on the people that I love the most?

- I only ever want
Heaven for other people.

- [Sofia] What about for you?

- I don't know, I guess I don't need it.

I just see so many people throwing away

their entire lives just
trying to get to the next one.

- [Sofia] I don't think
anyone wants to find out

that something that they've spent

so long believing in just doesn't exist.

- Of course not, who wants
to be wrong about that?

How do you tell some
Mormon, that oh sorry,

you spent your whole life
looking at the wrong book.

(Sofia laughs)

- [Sofia] You're funny.

You know, I just got this
image of all these Catholics

and Muslim extremists walking
up to the Pearly Gates

and St. Peter being like, "Oh, I'm sorry,

"actually Scientology was
the way to eternal salvation.

"What do I tell you?"

- I love how in that image,
it's still St. Peter telling

all these people that
Scientology was the way.

- [Sofia] Of course it is.

He'll be like, "I know,
I know, this sucks.

"They didn't let me in either.

"Why do you think I'm stuck here

"with gate duty for all eternity?"

(Ian sighs)

I gotta go check on my mom.

- Yeah, I know.

- [Sofia] I'll be thinking of you.

- Mm, ditto.

- [Sofia] Ew.

(Ian laughs)

Oh gosh, you did not just say ditto.

I am hanging up.

- Ditto.

(Sofia scoffs)

(message beeps)

(gentle piano music)

(bright piano music)

(camera clicks)

(message sends)

(message replies)

(phone rings)

Hey, what are you doing up so late?

- [Sofia] You drew me a picture!

- A sketch, but yeah.

- [Sofia] I love it.

- Oh, it's just a doodle.

- [Sofia] Oh come on, shut
up and take your compliment.

Thank you.

- You're welcome.

What time is there, I
didn't wake up, did I?

- [Sofia] No, it's about four.

I woke up and I'm just
couldn't go back to sleep.

- Right, I know that one.

- [Sofia] What are you doing up so late?

- Well, I didn't know who bell hooks was.

- Wait, were you just Googling

everything you didn't know in my profile?

- Maybe, but the point is that
I could've just Googled it

and not said anything,
but I'm actually admitting

that I don't know, which is a big deal

for someone who likes to hide
behind their intelligence.

- [Sofia] Okay, well, so are you ready

for your feminism crash course?

- I mean, I guess.

I just, I don't know if
I'd call myself a feminist.

I'm all for equality but do
I have to call it fem-in-ism?

- [Sofia] Ian!

(Ian laughs manically)

Oh, you asshole.

- I'm so, sorry.

I just wish I could've seen your face.

- [Sofia] Do you know how often

I have to hear shit like that?

- [Ian] I am sorry, I am sorry.

(Ian laughs strangely)

Please, please give me my lesson.

- [Sofia] Well, clearly I'm gonna to have

to start way farther back than I thought.

- Ouch.

- [Sofia] Okay, so, first wave we have

suffragettes, right to vote, equality.

Second wave, it's the bra-burning,

claiming that men are the problem,

and sore women who want to be housewives.

We are still trying to undo the
damage from the second wave.

And, then third wave is bell
hooks, intersectionality.

- And intersectionality is the idea

that you can't separate race from gender,

from class when you discuss these things?

- [Sofia] Mm hm, yeah, exactly.

So, first wave we would
like to have a choice.

Second wave, this is the only
choice that you can make,

or you're part of the problem.

Third wave, all of the choices.

- Smash the patriarchy!

- [Sofia] But the patriarchy
does not mean men.

- Yeah, I know, I read bell hooks' essay

"Understanding Patriarchy."

- [Sofia] You did?

- Yeah, the part about a
man's value being measured

by his willingness or
ability to do violence,

well really hit me, no pun intended.

- [Sofia] Men are only allowed
to have one emotion, rage.

- Yeah, that was my Dad.

My dad was, he was the
kind of guy, I don't know.

You feel weird using certain words,

but he was the kind of guy that thought

it was okay to beat up your kids,

and we would get beat up
for all kinds of things.

Like, one time I got beat
up for putting the pizza

in the fridge while it
was still in the box,

as opposed to taking it out and putting

each piece into individual
bags so it'd stay fresher.

I, saw this one show where
the kid stands up to his dad

and his dad backs down,
and every time I tried

to do it, but I wasn't able to.

But this...

Sorry, one second.

This one time, I was
in the den watching TV

and he came into the back
and he just slammed me

in the shoulder, I didn't
even know what the fuck I did.

He just...

And, I told him he didn't
get to hit me anymore.

He said, "What was that?"

And I said it again.

And he got so calm and he
walked out of the room,

and he walked into my bedroom,
and he took all my paintings

and my drawings, and he
just started tearing them,

and I screaming for him to stop,

and he went into the
kitchen and he grabbed

the ones off the fridge, and he ripped

those up too, like fucking
things from when I was like four,

and he shoved all the
pieces under my pillow,

and he forced me into the bed

and he told me to fucking sleep on it.

- [Sofia] Ian.

- And, the thing they
never show you about people

like that is how nice they are in between.

Just so nice to all my friends
and no one believed me,

and it makes you feel like if
you didn't keep messing up,

that maybe they'd still be nice to you.

So, I tried to do
anything I possibly could

to prove that I had value,
I'd win all these contests

for my art in the newspaper,
and the county fairs,

and at school, and every
painting was like the only,

and just like that he ripped 'em all up.

And, I let him hit me
whenever he wanted after that.

- [Sofia] You didn't deserve that.

- Yeah, I know.

Sorry, I changed the subject.

It all connects in my head.

- [Sofia] No, I see it.

Don't ever apologize
for being open with me.

What I hold onto all this time is

this longing for my dad to see me now,

to have all those moments that I didn't

get to have with him, but--

- What?

- [Sofia] I realized that
was gonna come up wrong.

- You were gonna say
something about your dad

and being glad he wasn't like mine.

- [Sofia] I didn't mean it like that.

- No, it's okay, it's all right.

- [Sofia] My dad used
to go out every night.

He was never gone for long, maybe an hour,

it just felt way longer back then.

I always wanted to go with him.

My mom got mad at him and
told him to just go after work

instead of coming home
and then leaving again.

But he said he always
wanted to see us first.

It was always the same routine.

He would go get his shoes on,

I would stand in front of
the door trying to block it,

and he would just come
up to me and kiss me

on the head and told me that he loved me.

But one day, he said,
"Okay, let's go then."

He took me out on this
windy road by the coast

and we watched the waves and the birds.

Then, we got out of the
car and he carried me

in his arms and I remember thinking

I was too big for this but I loved it.

He carried me until the
sun sat and the waves

and the tide came up to his ankles.

Then we went back to the car.

He put me in the back seat.

He said he was going to take a picture.

He went to the back and grabbed the bag.

He told me to stay right
there and keep the car locked.

Then he walked away.

I heard the bang.

I don't know if he thought
I would hear it, but I did.

I just didn't know what it was.

- Sofia?

- [Sofia] Yes.

- Did you feel that?

- [Sofia] Yes?

(Ian sighs)

(engaging piano music)

(upbeat orchestral movement)

(messages beep)

(gentle piano music)

(video call rings)

(phone rings)

- [Sofia] Hey, you
accidentally video called me.

- I know, it was on purpose.

- [Sofia] Oh.

- It was date night, I
wanted to make it special.

- [Sofia] I'm sorry, I can't.

Video-calling is so expensive here

and I really need to save
money when I'm not working.

- It's okay, I just got dressed
up, I wanted to show you.

- [Sofia] Oh really?

So did I, just give me one second.

(phone dings)

- Damn.

Damn.

This would've been, woo.

This would've been your view.

(camera clicks)

- [Sofia] Oh wow, you are so handsome.

A suit is literally like the
equivalent of male lingerie.

- Well, if you wanna send a lingerie photo

to even us out, I won't object.

- [Sofia] I'm sure you wouldn't.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah.

Are you lying to me?

- No, I'm good, how was your day?

(engaging drum beats)

(intense drum beats)

(engaging drum beats)

(shower runs)

(engaging dramatic music)

(phone rings)

- [Sofia] Hey, I was
getting a little worried.

- Yeah, I was working out.

- [Sofia] Hmm, thanks for the visual.

- [Ian] You said you were Colombian.

What are you doing in Mexico?

- [Sofia] My dad was from Mexico City.

My mom is from Colombia.

So, they moved to Mexico after I was born.

- You have Colombian citizenship?

- [Sofia] I am indeed dual.

My mom would always get
mad at me for speaking

Mexican-Spanish instead of real Spanish.

- Don't wanna be cliche,
but would you mind--

- [Sofia] Saying something right now.

- Yeah.

- [Sofia] Do you speak Spanish?

- No.

- [Sofia] (speaks Spanish)

- Damn, that was, that
really does it for me.

Certain things just--

- [Sofia] Just do it for
you, like accents, right?

- Yeah.

- [Sofia] And what else?

- Asses, I have dealt with
way more than I should've,

abandoned something that was way better

than it was, just for a great ass.

- [Sofia] You are such a man.

- Yeah, despite my best efforts.

Why won't you video chat with me?

- I told you, it's expensive here.

- I know you have Wifi.

- [Sofia] I don't have a webcam.

- Come on.

- [Sofia] What if when
we meet it's not the same

and then we never speak again?

- What are you talking about?

Of course it will be the same.

It'll be fucking better!

- [Sofia] Did you ever think
that you found the one?

- Once, but it was in high school.

- [Sofia] Mine was more recent.

He was from England and
had joined the Peace Corps.

His Spanish was bad so we mainly

spoke in English, but he would try.

That was important.

We fell in love and then
he went back to England

to take care of his visa
and visit his family.

He was supposed to back
in a couple months,

but I never saw him again, never heard

from him again, not a text, nothing.

I don't understand that.

How can you tell someone
that you love them

and then you never text them again?

I mean, I get it that if it's hard

and I understand if he couldn't
come back, but nothing?

Never knowing, even to this
day, I can barely think

about it, it just eats me up inside.

- Yeah, I can't even imagine.

- [Sofia] Your biggest fear
is I'm not who I say I am,

that all this will be for nothing.

- Yeah.

- [Sofia] I understand, that's
exactly what I went through.

My biggest fear is all of a sudden you're

just gonna disappear and
if I get on video with you,

all of a sudden all of
your fears are gone,

but I still wake up
with mine every morning.

But, I'll do it, if that's what it takes.

I'll do it.

- Ah, you know they say the
opposite of love isn't hate,

it's fear, I don't wanna
come from a place of fear,

so, like every time someone you're with,

they go out to dinner, or they work late,

you gotta choose trust,
so that's what I'm gonna.

It's only what, 10 more days?

I choose trust.

(delicate piano music)

(audio instructor speaks in Spanish)

(Ian speaks Spanish)

(audio instructor speaks in Spanish)

(Ian speaks Spanish)

- [Audio Instructor] Excellent,
now, where is my hotel?

- (Ian speaks Spanish)

- [Audio Instructor] That's right.

(speaks Spanish)

(phone rings)

- [Ian] Hey, you.

- [Sofia] Hey.

- [Ian] What's up?

- [Sofia] Just getting
home from a meeting.

- Yeah, what kind of meeting?

- Is this a bad time?

- No, I was just getting some work done,

you know, painting, I'm on a roll.

- [Sofia] Well, I can call you back.

- It's okay, just trying to squeeze

some in before I gotta go.

- [Sofia] Okay, why don't you just

call me back from the car then.

- All right.

- [Sofia] I'm nervous for you.

- Don't be, I'll be fine.

- [Audio Instructor] Excellent.

Now, where is my hotel.

(speaks in Spanish)

(speaks in Spanish)

- [Sofia] When was the
last time you were home?

- Oh, maybe six months ago.

- [Sofia] Wait, how long is your drive?

- It's only two hours?

- [Sofia] And you haven't
been home in six months?

- Yeah, just with my dad and everything.

- [Sofia] Oh sorry, I know.

I just thought you wanted
to see everyone else.

So, you're brother just
graduated med school.

You must be super proud of him.

- Yeah, I am.

Earlier it seemed like there was

something you wanted to tell me.

- [Sofia] Yeah, do you want
the good news or the bad news?

- Bad news first, always bad news.

- [Sofia] Can I do the good news first?

- Yeah, of course.

- [Sofia] I got offered
an internship at Google.

- Wait, what, that's
incredible, for coding?

- [Sofia] Yes.

- Oh my God, that's amazing.

What's the bad news?

- [Sofia] The job is here in Mexico City.

- Oh.

- [Sofia] It's only three months

and it would give me more time with my mom

and I'd actually be making money.

- Yeah, right, of course.

- [Sofia] But also, I
really care about you

and I know this isn't
what you signed up for.

- I mean, it's Google, you
don't say no to Google.

Also it's your mom.

I wouldn't want you picking me
over either of those things.

When do you start?

- [Sofia] In two weeks, why?

- Well, maybe we still use
that ticket you have back,

spend a weekend together, and then

I pay for you to fly to Mexico.

- [Sofia] That is so sweet of you,

but I would never let
you pay for my ticket.

I really wanna see you.

I just have to figure this all out.

- Yeah, of course.

- [Sofia] Are you sure you're okay?

- I'm sorry if it seems like I'm not.

I really am happy for you.

I was just also really excited to see you.

- [Sofia] I know, you will soon.

- Yeah.

- [Sofia] I gotta tell my mom.

- Oh, you told me first?

- [Sofia] Of course, (speaks Spanish)

- Sofia?

- [Sofia] Yeah.

- I truly am happy for you.

(door knocks)

- [JD] What's up sis?

- [Ian] Congratulations, buddy.

- Hi, Ian.

- [Ian] Hey mom.

- I missed you.

- I missed you too.

Where's Dad?

- He's in the kitchen.

- [DJ] You see that Allison?

- Hey Ian.

- [Ian] Hey Allison.

How's nursing school?

- It's tough but worth it.

Just one more year until I'm a RN.

- [Ian] That's really awesome.

I gotta find my dad.

(knives chop)

- There you are.

- [Ian] Hiya, Dad.

- You were cutting it a
little close don't you think?

- [Ian] There was traffic.

- There's always traffic.

- [Ian] You need a hand?

- No, no, I got that, you get that.

(light percussion)

So, did you hear back
from the art gallery?

- [Ian] I did actually.

They're all booked up
but they liked my stuff.

- Congratulations.

- [Ian] And they want me to submit again.

- Well, of course they did.

- That's so awesome.

I'd love to see some of your art.

- He did the one in the
hallway you said was weird.

- I didn't say it was weird.

I just didn't know what it was.

- [Ian] It's not supposed to be anything.

It's supposed to make you feel something

more than it's supposed to be something.

- And what is this one
supposed to make you feel?

- [Ian] I mean, it varies for each person.

I'm not gonna tell someone
what they're supposed to feel.

- Seems to me if you knew
what you were saying,

the art galleries would
respond to you more, favorably.

I mean, your brother always
knew what he wanted to be.

Since he was 13-years-old, wanted to be

an orthopedic surgeon, not a
doctor like the other kids,

but something very
specific, he always knew

what he wanted to be and look at him now.

- [JD] Same thing I did with Allison.

- I need to use the restroom.

(light percussion)

(messages beep)

(drums play more intensely)

(toilet flushes)

- [Jonathan] What on Earth
took you so long, man?

- He was probably taking a shit.

- [Sandra] JD!

- I was texting a girl.

- [JD] What's his name?

- [Sandra] Quiet.

- Her name is Sofia.

- [Sandra] So, do you have any pictures?

- Yeah.

- Oh, she's beautiful.

- Let me see.

Dude, she's hot.

What are you texting Tina for?

- Who is that, your new girlfriend?

- [Sandra] His ex-girlfriend.

- [JD] Trying to reignite
an old high school fling?

- JD!

- [Ian] No, I'm with Sofia.

- Then why isn't Sofia here?

- She's in Mexico.

- Your girlfriend lives in Mexico?

- Her mom has cancer.

- Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

- How did you two meet?

- [Ian] Online.

- [JD] You have met her though, right?

- Yeah, no, of course
we want on a great date

and then her mom get sick.

I'm not gonna call it off
just because her mom's sick.

- That is so sweet of you.

- [JD] You have any pictures of you two?

- [Ian] Stop it, give me my phone.

- Man, come on share your phone.

Your brother doesn't have any secrets.

- It's my phone.

- If I recall you're on my phone plan.

- [Ian] That's because you won't take

the money whenever I
try to give it to you.

- That's not the point.

- The point is you can't hold it

over my head and also refuse it.

- It's my house, I can do what I want.

- [Ian] Yeah, you made that clear.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Don't start with the Dad
was abusive shit, again.

- [Allison] What?

- [JD] Ian he likes to say--

- You don't know what it was like.

- We don't know what it was like, huh?

Well, then tell us.

Tell us little buddy, what was

it like to be such an abused child.

- [Sandra] Okay, Jonathan,
let's just drop it.

- No, I wanna hear it
from the artist here.

Come on tell us.

Congratulations, you made what was

supposed to be JD's night all about you.

I put a roof over your head ever day.

I put food on your plate every
day, every day, every day.

- I don't have to take this.

- I love you all, but I don't have

to take this just because I love you.

- [Sandra] Ian?

- Hey, hey asshole.

You get your ass back in this house,

you apologize to your
brother, and your mother.

- [Ian] I'll call 'em later, I'm leaving.

- No, no, no, no, no.

(tense dramatic music)

You think life is so hard, it isn't.

When I was in high school
I wanted to be a rock star,

but I manned up, your mother
got pregnant so I married her.

- Oh, I'm sorry I stopped

the Red Eye Ducks from international fame.

(slaps)

- That remind you of how I abused ya?

Let me remind you again.

(slaps)

You don't say a word.

You don't get to say shit til
you walked a mile in my shoes.

Following your dreams is easy,
manning up is what's hard.

- That's what being a man is?

You coulda kept playing.

- [Johnathan] It hurt too much.

- Where do you think all that pain went?

(tense dramatic music)

- Oh my God, I almost thought
you weren't gonna show.

Are you okay?

- [Ian] Why didn't we work out?

- You mean 'cause I was going to school

in Boston and then you went to LA?

- No after that, when you came back?

- Do you really wanna do this again?

- I gave you everything.

I gave you all of myself.

- Congratulations, so what?

- So what?

You're saying so what to
me giving you everything.

- Okay, what the hell
happened at your Dad's?

Hey, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Hey, come here.

Hey, hey.

Do you remember when we snuck
into that construction site

and we climbed the scaffolding,

and you packed all that stuff, and you had

this whole little picnic thing planned,

but when you pulled the blanket out

you sent all the food flying
off the side of the building?

- Yeah, that really sucked.

- And then the boombox wouldn't work.

- Yeah, stupid JD took the batteries.

- Yeah, so you sang to me instead.

- Yeah, but I didn't
know any of the lyrics.

- So you just kept singing.

♪ I don't wanna wait ♪

Over, and over, and over again.

(Ian hums)

It was the most beautiful
thing I'd ever had.

- That is not true.

- Hey, are you okay?

- Yeah.

(engaging music)

(panting)

- They really did a number on you, huh?

Shh, it's okay.

(bright music)

Hey, where'd you go?

Come back.

(bright music)

(panting)

(bright music)

- I'm sorry, okay Tina.

- [Tina] What?

- I can't, I can't.

- What?

Where are you going?

Hey!

(phone rings)

- [Sofia] Hey, are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm so sorry about earlier.

- [Sofia] What are you sorry for?

- I wasn't as excited
as I should have been.

You are so amazing.

You're going through such a hard time.

You get this incredible
news about thing you worked

so hard for and that
you completely deserve,

and I made it all about
me, and you deserve

better than that and I am so sorry.

- [Sofia] I really
appreciate you saying that,

but it's okay, I get it.

- It isn't okay, I'm going to be better.

- [Sofia] You're already amazing.

- Still, it frustrates
me so much sometimes.

Like, what if something happened to you?

Would anyone even know to call me?

Would I get to talk at your funeral?

- [Sofia] Jesus, how
often are you thinking

about something terrible happening to me?

- I didn't mean it like that,

but does anybody even know about me?

It's just so hard not having anything

I could literally hold on to.

- [Sofia] Do you think it's easy for me?

I take care of my mom.

I spent all night refreshing myself

on Python and C++ and then
I'm distracted the whole time,

because the guy that I'm super
into went from texting me

all the time to not texting me at all.

- I'm really sorry about that?

- [Sofia] And meanwhile,
I have this other guy

hitting me up that I was
talking to before I met you.

- Wait, wait, wait, what other dude?

- [Sofia] It doesn't matter.

Some guy I went with on a couple dates.

- Wait, what happened?

- [Sofia] You happened, dummy.

- I'm sorry I didn't mean to--

- [Sofia] That's not
what I'm trying to say.

What I'm trying to say
is you are my life now

and if I hadn't met you
I probably would have

gone out with him and
it would have been okay,

and who knows, maybe it
could've been something more,

because I'm 30 and I didn't
find what I was looking for,

that thing that I thought was out there.

But then I met you and I realized

I didn't have to give up on that hope,

and I'm not trying to make you feel bad

for not texting me and
me being distracted.

It's not that, it's just
I'm revealing to you

what I'm not supposed to reveal,

that I'm upset when we're not talking.

I miss you and I'm--

- I missed you, I missed you too.

Okay, I have never felt anything like this

and I am terrified of losing you.

- [Sofia] I thought
you gonna choose trust.

- Yeah, yes, I am.

You're able to video chat aren't you?

All that other stuff is just--

- [Sofia] Ian, I--

- No, no, no, no, hey, I get it.

I do, I just, I wanna show you me.

I want you to see the look in my eyes.

- [Sofia] You don't have to do this.

- I know, I want to.

Hey.

- [Sofia] Hi, it's your face.

- It is.

- [Sofia] I love it.

- You've seen it before.

- [Sofia] It's different in action.

I didn't realize how nice your jaw is.

- A girl told me once that's how

she knew I was a good kisser.

- [Sofia] Subtle brag.

I can always judge by lip size.

- Well, I'm not winning there.

- [Sofia] Oh shush,
you're lips are prefect.

- I really wish I could kiss you.

- [Sofia] Where are you?

- The side of the road.

- [Sofia] Isn't it late
and you can just go home?

We can talk later.

- I wanted you to see me.

- [Sofia] I see you.

Ian.

- Yeah.

- [Sofia] Kiss me.

(engaging music)

(lips smack)

She was right, you are a good kisser.

- I want you.

- [Sofia] I need you too.

- Imagine my lips kissing
down your neck, gently,

gently down over your body.

- [Sofia] Mm hmm

- Down in between your breasts,

down your belly, down your legs.

- [Sofia] I can feel that.

- Do you feel that?

- [Sofia] Yes, I can feel that.

- Feel my hands rubbing up your leg.

Feel me when I was between them.

(panting and moaning)

Feel the way you make me grow.

- [Sofia] Oh God, I'm waiting.

- I'm gonna get inside you.

- [Sofia] I need you inside me right now.

- Oh yes, please, yes, yes.

- [Sofia] Just like that,
oh God, it's amazing.

- Sofia.

- [Sofia] Oh give it to me,
just like that, just that, yeah.

Ian, Ian.

- Yes, yes, yes Sofia.

- [Sofia] Oh my God.

(screaming and grunting)

(laughing)

Oh my God.

- I made such a big mess.

- [Sofia] In the car?

- No, all over the side of the road.

(laughing)

- [Sofia] I don't think I've
ever orgasmed this hard.

- I know I haven't.

Sofia?

- [Sofia] What is it?

- I--

- [Sofia] Ian.

- Yeah?

- [Sofia] I love you.

- I love you too.

- You really turned a corner here, Ian.

There is something so fresh
and raw about these paintings.

These are all the same woman, right?

It's like you couldn't get
all of her in one painting,

so you had to do more
to get all of her sides.

Wow.

This is the one, right?

This is it, you know what?

The feature artist that we
were gonna show next month got

snatched up by MOCHA, would
you be interested in the slot?

- [Sofia] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

I'm so happy for you?

I want you to tell me everything.

I haven't even seen one of the paintings.

- They're a surprise.

- [Sofia] Oh my God, you are such a tease.

- Okay, okay, here.

- [Sofia] Wait, is that
one of the paintings?

- Yeah.

- [Sofia] It's of me.

- [Ian] Yeah, I know.

- [Sofia] You showed a curator

a painting of me before you showed me?

- Do you know how
difficult you are to paint?

Do you know how many times I had

to start over just trying to get it right?

- [Sofia] What are the other paintings?

Ian?

Ian, are you gonna fill
a gallery with paintings

of me when I can't even be there?

- I thought it'd be a surprise.

I thought I could fly you out.

- [Sofia] Let's just drop it.

- No, I don't want this
hanging between us.

- [Sofia] You are filling
a a gallery with paintings

of me without my permission
and then you're guilting

about not being able to be
there, so let's just drop it.

- I'm sorry.

- [Sofia] Ian--

- Look, I'll cancel, I'll
cancel the show, okay?

I'll cancel the show, it's not worth it.

I don't wanna fight with you.

- [Sofia] No, no, you
will not do such a thing.

Look, it's okay, I'm fine, I promise.

I am really flattered.

I just wish you would have told me.

And, what's your schedule like next week?

- Why?

- [Sofia] I know it's your
birthday, so I figure you're

gonna be with friends and everything,

but I would love to
have one of those days.

- The whole day?

- [Sofia] Yep.

- I would really love that.

- [Sofia] Good.

(phone rings)

- Good morning.

- [Sofia] Happy day, we're
celebrating your birthday!

Aftofore to be shortened
to, Happy Birthday?

- Aftofore?

- [Sofia] The opposite of heretofore.

Try to keep up, we have
a very very, busy day.

- Oh yeah.

- [Sofia] Happy Birthday,
get up, get up, get up.

Go check your computer.

- Okay, okay, okay.

- [Sofia] Check your email.

- Okay, what is all this?

- [Sofia] Our itinerary.

(bright engaging music)

- [Ian] This looks so good.

- [Sofia] You said you
always wanted to go.

- You remembered.

Oh my God, it's so good.

- [Sofia] I told you.

- Wow, what have I been doing?

(Sofia laughs)

- [Sofia] Pick out a
book, anyone you want.

It's your birthday.

So, I want you to really treat yourself.

Read me one.

- "I could scream down 90 mountains

"to less than dust

"if only one living human
had eyes in the head

"and heart in the body,

"but there is no chance,

"my god,

"no chance.

"rat with rat dog with dog hog with hog,

"play the piano drunk

"listen to the drunk piano,

"realize the myth of mercy

"stand still

"as even a child's voice snarls

"and we have not been fooled,

"it's only that we wanted to believe."

- [Sofia] You already
knew that one, didn't you?

- Yeah, it's one of my favorites.

- [Sofia] Pick up a book full of ones

that you have never read before.

- Okay.

- [Cashier] Will that be all for you?

- [Sofia] Tell them you're Ian.

- What?

- [Sofia] Tell them you're Ian.

- I'm Ian.

- [Cashier] Oh, well this
is all taken care of then.

Happy Birthday.

- Thank you, how did you--

- [Sofia] Next place.

(bright engaging music)

- The swan?

- [Sofia] I know, I know.

- Seriously?

The swan?

- [Sofia] You love it anyways.

- Do you have any idea
how ridiculous I look.

- [Sofia] It's your birthday.

You're allowed to look ridiculous.

- [Ian] Wow.

- [Sofia] This is my favorite place in LA.

- It really is beautiful.

- [Sofia] If you look under the tree

you're gonna find pen
and paper to write with.

I wrote you something.

- Wait really?

- No, not there silly, I
don't want anyone to get it?

- Still, that means so much to me.

No one's every written
something for me before.

- [Sofia] Shut up and let me read it.

- Okay, okay.

- There's something that happens
when we get up high enough.

The things once important
suddenly so small,

like the world of ants
bustling beneath us,

that never gives us pause
as we tread on homes.

You were the first thing
that lifted me high enough

to make ants of my troubles
and sand for my fears.

You took all my tomorrows
and turned them into years,

for the first breath of air
after wishing in a tunnel,

the excitement of an ice cream truck

when you just got your allowance,

you snow-fallen Christmas,
rain in the desert.

You bring thanks to
people on a daily basis,

but most of all you mean the world to me.

- Thank you.

- [Sofia] What is it?

- My battery's dying.

- [Sofia] Oh it's okay.

That was the last thing on the itinerary

and I have to go soon anyway.

- I just thought there
was maybe something else.

- [Sofia] Like what.

- Well, it is my birthday.

- [Sofia] Oh, I see, well we can have sex

later tonight after I get my mom into bed.

- I wasn't talking about sex.

- [Sofia] Oh, Ian, I can't.

- Yes you can.

- [Sofia] I told you.

- Yeah, but just because
you told me before

doesn't mean we can't do this.

- [Sofia] So what, you just presumed

that because it was your
birthday I would get on camera

with you and now you're mad
at me because I didn't--

- I'm not mad, it's just--

- [Sofia] After the entire
day that I planned for you,

all you can focus on is
that I did not get on camera

with you after you told me
that you were okay with my--

- It's weird, okay, it's okay.

Like, I get in the
beginning but you know me.

I've given you everything.

When will it be enough?

When will I be enough?

- [Sofia] Enough for what?

You have me.

- No, I don't!

- [Sofia] You're right, you don't.

- Sofia, Sofia?

(drums play)

- [Machine] Your call has been

forwarded to an automated.

Your call has been forwarded to an.

- Fuck.

(intense percussion plays)

Come on, come on.

- [Machine] Your call has been forwarded

to an automated voice messaging.

When you finish recording you may hung up

or press one for more options.

- Hey, it's me.

I know that was bad.

Call me back when you can, please.

My text messages aren't going through.

I don't know if it's the service out here.

I'm sorry, okay, I love you.

(drums play)

(message beeps)

Hey, just call me please, please.

Hey, Sofia, it's me, sorry
about the other voice mails.

I really don't wanna
sound like a crazy person.

It's me, it's Ian.

I just don't even know.

I love you.

Call me back.

I guess I should say.

I don't know if something happened.

Hey, it is your daily call
from Ian, day number four.

Sofia, please pick up, please.

It was nothing that bad.

I mean, are we really going
to end this over something

like that, come on that's stupid.

Sofia, Sofia, Sofia, Sofia.

(drawer creaks)

Hey, it's me.

It's been nine days.

Voicemail number 127.

I hope it's not that many.

I don't know what else to say.

♪ But of all these friends and lovers ♪

♪ I really ♪

You don't even like "The Beatles," I know.

It still makes me think of you every time.

♪ In my life I loved you more ♪

Call me, please.

(shower runs)

(phone rings)

Hello.

- [Grandma] Hi, honey.

- Hey, Grandma.

- [Grandma] Are you okay?

- Yeah, no, I was just showering.

- [Grandma] Well, that's okay.

I just wanted to see if you
got my birthday card I sent.

- I did, I just, I'm sorry.

- [Grandma] Are you sure you're okay?

You always call right away.

I sent it weeks ago.

- Yeah, no, I am.

I should've called, I'm really sorry.

Can I call you back, Grandma?

- [Grandma] It's okay honey, I love you.

- I love you too.

(door bell rings)

(Ian sighs)

(knife cuts)

- [Sofia] Hey handsome,
I know this is late.

I know because I'm sending it
the day before your birthday

and overnight shipping from
Mexico costs a million dollars.

So, you're just going to have
to deal with the lateness.

Anyway, by this point we will have spent

an amazing day together, and anything

I can say will be out-of-date,

but know that I love you
and I am always with you.

Your Sofia.

(keyboard clacks)

(crickets chirp)

(engaging dramatic music)

(uptempo engaging music)

(announcements in Spanish)

(uptempo engaging music)

(Pilot speaks in Spanish)

(bright engaging music)

(birds chirp)

- [Ian] Gracias.

(Ian sighs)

(door knocks)

(door knocks)

(traffic blares)

(door knocks)

Ingles?

- Si.

- Si, si?

- Si.

- Muchas gracias.

(bright orchestral music)

(phone rings)

Hey.

- [Sofia] Hey.

- How are you?

How have you been?

What are you up to?

- I'm just getting home from work.

(engaging dramatic music)

What are you up to?

- I'm...

Just getting home from work too.

- [Sofia] I've missed you.

- [Ian] I've really missed you.

(children chatter)

(engaging piano music)

♪ I could paint you a portrait ♪

♪ I could paint you an ocean ♪

♪ You could say that I've
lost my faith in it ♪

♪ I could give you the desert ♪

♪ I could give you the mountains ♪

♪ But I don't know how to make them fit ♪

♪ This could be the real thing ♪

♪ We need a room to find out ♪

♪ If this could be the real thing ♪

♪ And it's too soon to have these doubts ♪

♪ Oh, I will get to you somehow ♪

♪ Somehow ♪

♪ 'Cause it tasted like a promise ♪

♪ 'Cause I feel like a bargain ♪

♪ Would you break it off to let me see ♪

♪ Does it break like a window ♪

♪ Does it break like a spirit ♪

♪ Well at least I tried to make it be ♪

♪ This could be the real thing ♪

♪ But we need to a room to find out ♪

♪ This could be the real thing ♪

♪ And I don't wanna have these doubts ♪

♪ Will you get to me somehow ♪

♪ Somehow ♪