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1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,040
(music)
2
00:00:05,679 --> 00:00:07,679
Maeve is dead!
3
00:00:07,679 --> 00:00:09,319
Maeve is dead.
4
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,040
Maeve is dead?
5
00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:12,799
More tea, three spoonfuls of sugar
6
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,800
and a crisp sandwich. Go!
7
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,360
Maeve is dead.
8
00:00:16,359 --> 00:00:19,119
We have that covered, love,
to be fair.
9
00:00:19,399 --> 00:00:22,719
Can you explain to us what happened,
was she sad?
10
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:27,720
(sighs) She had the name of a Welsh
nightclub tattooed on her forehead,
11
00:00:27,719 --> 00:00:28,839
so no! Not at all!
12
00:00:28,839 --> 00:00:31,119
Had she mentioned anything?
13
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,880
(sighs)
14
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,720
No...
15
00:00:34,719 --> 00:00:37,039
She was dying to get back, though.
16
00:00:43,439 --> 00:00:45,439
So how are you, Trish?
17
00:00:45,759 --> 00:00:48,359
My husband left me.
(gasps) Told ya!
18
00:00:48,359 --> 00:00:49,519
I beg your pardon?
19
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:50,960
She predicted it.
20
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,680
I'm sorry, darling.
21
00:00:52,679 --> 00:00:56,079
I... I give myself a pain in the
arse at this point.
22
00:01:02,159 --> 00:01:04,159
Maeve is de...?
23
00:01:04,159 --> 00:01:06,159
(music)
24
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,040
God, it's so mad,
25
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,960
I needed to go exactly here on the
way down.
26
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,280
(sighs) Guys, you really don't need
to come,
27
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,360
the moral support is lovely, but it's
really not necessary.
28
00:01:23,359 --> 00:01:26,519
I'm coming because I met her, Joy,
remember?
29
00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:28,039
And that's what friends do.
30
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,400
They support each other. Besides.
31
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I wanna support my lovely Stan.
32
00:01:38,439 --> 00:01:40,439
Guys.
33
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:44,000
Yeah.
34
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:44,200
Yeah.
35
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,840
I didn't bring any black!
36
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,080
Well, there'll be a shop down there.
37
00:01:48,079 --> 00:01:50,239
A women's clothes shop in Bray?
38
00:01:50,439 --> 00:01:52,439
Bray's a big town, Joy.
39
00:01:52,439 --> 00:01:53,919
We need to go back.
40
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,120
We can't go back.
41
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,120
I need black!
42
00:01:57,319 --> 00:01:59,319
We're not going back!
43
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,840
(music)
44
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,120
(knocking)
Ah! Come in!
45
00:02:20,719 --> 00:02:22,719
There yiz all are!
46
00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:25,639
(laughs)
They sent me down to say hi!
47
00:02:27,599 --> 00:02:29,599
Who died?
(laughs)
48
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Maurice, I'm Joy.
49
00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:34,919
Maurice, I'm Joy.
50
00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:36,079
Maurice.
51
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,720
What's your surname?
Morris.
52
00:02:37,719 --> 00:02:39,239
No, your surname?
Morris.
53
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,080
Maurice Morris?
Yeah!
54
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,400
OK...
55
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:43,800
Can I sit down?
56
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,800
Please.
57
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:52,919
Jayzus, you're all very sad-lookin'.
58
00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:54,799
It's a very sad day, Mr Morris.
59
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,280
You can call me Maurice.
60
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,440
It's a very sad day... Maurice.
61
00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,799
Yeah, but you have to remember,
62
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,800
Maeve lived a very full life.
63
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,280
And it's hard to be too sad when you
think of it that way, huh?
64
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,760
How are you able to find that
perspective, Maurice?
65
00:03:07,759 --> 00:03:10,839
Sure yous were with her when she got
the forehead tattoo in Wales!
66
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,120
In Holyhead, yeah!
67
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,080
Did that not say anything to ya?
68
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,080
That she was a legend!
69
00:03:16,599 --> 00:03:18,599
She didn't tell ye?
70
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,599
She didn't tell us what?
71
00:03:20,759 --> 00:03:22,759
Maeve was dying, lads!
72
00:03:22,759 --> 00:03:26,119
What? She got a severe diagnosis
about three months ago.
73
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,080
Came like a bolt out of the blue.
74
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,400
Well, she knew when she wanted
to go.
75
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,840
And she knew HOW she wanted to go.
76
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,640
She wasn't going to go flying off to
Switzerland, or one of them places,
77
00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:35,679
she wanted to go here in Bray.
78
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,520
So she enlisted the help of a few
friends.
79
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:42,880
You seriously didn't think she was
that mad about Welsh discos, did ye?
80
00:03:42,879 --> 00:03:44,119
(laughs)
81
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,120
(bangs table)
Right! Let's go!
82
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,880
Get your drinkin' boots on and
follow me!
83
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:49,879
(laughs)
84
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,880
Oh my God, she's tight, isn't she?
85
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,960
(laughs)
Tight as the top of a tin whistle!
86
00:03:56,719 --> 00:03:58,719
She was dying!
87
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,520
(music)
88
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:14,320
(hushed conversation)
89
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,840
God... this session...
90
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,480
is a-full of a-fitties!
91
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:24,000
Shit! You're like, you're probably
related to them all! (tuts)
92
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,200
Shhh!
Mm-mm!
93
00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:28,239
I'll be your wing-woman.
(incomprehensible muttering)
94
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,320
I'll be subtle with a silent b!
95
00:04:30,319 --> 00:04:32,959
Don't! Don't don't don't don't don't
don't don't don't don't!
96
00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:33,919
Hi! (laughs)
97
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,680
Do you guys know her?
98
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,880
Yes, we're Morrises. We're cousins.
99
00:04:37,879 --> 00:04:40,599
So how distant?
'Cause third's fair game right?
100
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,680
No! Maeve was our aunt.
We're second cousins.
101
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,920
Joy was her second cousin! So...
102
00:04:45,079 --> 00:04:47,679
You guys are like brother and
sister.
103
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,280
That's a bit too much, right?
Mm-hm!
104
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:52,720
Excuse me, cousins.
105
00:04:55,319 --> 00:04:58,439
(whispers) You are being
disrespectful!
106
00:04:58,439 --> 00:05:00,039
Just trying to cheer you up.
107
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,280
Everyone's celebrating Maeve's life
108
00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,199
the way she wanted it to be
celebrated!
109
00:05:03,199 --> 00:05:04,239
But you're being flippant!
110
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,160
And you're being melodramatic.
111
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,160
My second cousin died!
112
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,960
Did you know her, ah...
48 hours ago?
113
00:05:10,959 --> 00:05:12,959
Yeah! Did you KNOW her?
114
00:05:12,959 --> 00:05:14,999
Or had you forgotten about her,
115
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:19,160
until she actually reminded you of
her existence in person?
116
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,120
Take your time!
117
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,000
That's not the point!
118
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That's totally the point!
119
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,640
You can play serious, that's fine!
120
00:05:25,639 --> 00:05:27,999
But you have to wait until something
serious happens to you,
121
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,640
otherwise YOU are being
disrespectful.
122
00:05:30,639 --> 00:05:32,119
To the people who actually knew her
123
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,640
way better than you did!
124
00:05:33,639 --> 00:05:35,919
And they're grieving for real!
125
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,560
Here today, you're supposed to just
put on a brave face!
126
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,720
So budge up and have a sandwich!
127
00:05:43,879 --> 00:05:45,879
(sighs)
128
00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,839
(music)
129
00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:51,839
Hi, I'm Joy.
130
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,800
Sadness. Nice to meet you.
131
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,440
Oh. Is Sadness a... an Irish name?
132
00:05:59,399 --> 00:06:01,399
No. It's a joke.
133
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,920
Joy...
134
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,920
Oh, yeah.
135
00:06:06,079 --> 00:06:08,079
(laughs nervously)
136
00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:12,759
God, no.
137
00:06:12,759 --> 00:06:14,279
God, no.
138
00:06:17,759 --> 00:06:19,759
Would you like to dance?
139
00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,639
There's no music.
140
00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:25,399
Yeah, I guess.
141
00:06:39,319 --> 00:06:41,319
(ominous music)
142
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,920
Hi. Aah!
143
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,440
We need a favour.
144
00:06:55,439 --> 00:06:58,159
They want a cousin to speak at the
funeral.
145
00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,320
It's all tributes, no prayers.
146
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:02,239
I personally am a hardcore Catholic
147
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,840
and wouldn't mind bashing out a few
decades of the rosary there.
148
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:08,919
But no one wants to listen to
Maurice Morris.
149
00:07:09,519 --> 00:07:11,519
It's like my name is a joke.
150
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,920
It's like...
151
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,920
my actual name is funny.
152
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,240
You know how it is these days!
153
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,480
And another thing...
154
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,480
I will be stoned, I know that.
155
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,480
And your other cousin
156
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,480
thinks one of the egg sandwiches is
gone off.
157
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,760
He's a dicky tummy
at the best of times.
158
00:07:29,759 --> 00:07:33,559
So he doesn't know how the next
24 hours are going to pan out.
159
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:34,880
And you're in the media!
160
00:07:34,879 --> 00:07:36,839
So... Oh, listen...
161
00:07:36,839 --> 00:07:38,479
There's no way...
162
00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,440
that I would be able, like...
Thank you so much
163
00:07:41,439 --> 00:07:43,439
for saying yes, dear.
164
00:07:56,439 --> 00:08:00,199
(whispers) It's so awkward that we're
all still here,
165
00:08:00,199 --> 00:08:01,959
why are you still here?
166
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,559
I came to pay my respects!
167
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,000
Look... (sighs)
Can you pay them and then go?
168
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,840
Joy, that's kind of mean!
169
00:08:07,839 --> 00:08:10,839
Em, I... liked Maeve, a lot!
170
00:08:10,839 --> 00:08:15,399
(sighs) Also, I wanted to ask what
the hell happened the other night?
171
00:08:15,399 --> 00:08:18,079
Between us, I mean, what was that,
Joy?
172
00:08:18,279 --> 00:08:22,039
That was... that was a mistake, Stan,
it was a mistake.
173
00:08:23,079 --> 00:08:25,079
I'm sorry.
174
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,480
No... I'm sorry.
175
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,560
Look, I think Christie likes you.
176
00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,679
So you should go for that.
177
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,000
I won't breathe a word to a soul!
178
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,720
Why is that bad?
179
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,720
Because... (sighs)
180
00:08:44,759 --> 00:08:46,759
The thing is...
181
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,240
I think I...
182
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:55,399
I... have to tell her, Joy.
183
00:08:55,399 --> 00:08:56,559
Hard pass on ever telling her!
184
00:08:56,559 --> 00:08:58,879
No, no thank you! No way! No thanks!
Next?
185
00:08:58,879 --> 00:09:00,879
I can't lie to her, Joy!
186
00:09:00,879 --> 00:09:02,519
Well, if you tell her,
you're the bad guy,
187
00:09:02,519 --> 00:09:04,719
and if I tell her, I'm the bad guy!
188
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,440
And... then... that's how it goes!
189
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,200
Well, could we not just tell her
together?
190
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,040
Like... we literally say it at the
same time, like...
191
00:09:11,039 --> 00:09:13,039
one, two, three! Go!
192
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,200
Yeah!
193
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,080
OK, but not now, not here in front of
everyone, so can you just
194
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,520
go and hide! Just go to the kitchen!
195
00:09:19,519 --> 00:09:21,159
They're looking for more
sandwich-making volunteers,
196
00:09:21,159 --> 00:09:23,159
I cannot look at large amounts of
butter in one place,
197
00:09:23,159 --> 00:09:24,959
I can't even smell it,
I can't even...
198
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,960
look at it! Can you just...
199
00:09:27,039 --> 00:09:29,039
OK, fine.
200
00:09:29,039 --> 00:09:31,479
(phone rings)
(sighs) Hello?
201
00:09:35,799 --> 00:09:37,799
OK. Bye.
202
00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:43,159
Will Dack posted another vlog...
203
00:09:43,159 --> 00:09:45,719
about Ireland, online last night.
204
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,720
Em... another update about the
205
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,400
crazy woman who took a baby, and
pretended to be its mother.
206
00:09:51,399 --> 00:09:53,959
Eh... he remembers new details...
207
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,600
apparently.
208
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,760
The papers are calling Emer.
209
00:09:57,759 --> 00:09:58,599
They're calling it...
210
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,480
Dingogate.
211
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,480
It's all gone batshit.
212
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,760
(Will's voice) I'm pretty sure it's
a global phenomenon,
213
00:10:04,759 --> 00:10:07,079
and I'm gonna be the ambassador,
who stamps it out!
214
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,640
Hashtag Let's Hit Baby-Stealing!
215
00:10:08,639 --> 00:10:10,679
Hashtag... The Time Is Now!
216
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,120
Hashtag... Stand With Will!
217
00:10:15,519 --> 00:10:17,519
(phone rings)
Oh! Huh?
218
00:10:17,879 --> 00:10:20,639
To what do I owe this
goddamn pleasure!
219
00:10:20,639 --> 00:10:23,959
Where have you been, you absolute
fugitive crazy person?
220
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,400
Oh, what... what... what... what...
what?
221
00:10:26,399 --> 00:10:29,319
Your phone doesn't even ring
any more, what the hell?
222
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,040
Yeah, it's... it's sort of at the
bottom of the Irish Sea, so...
223
00:10:32,039 --> 00:10:34,359
Joy? You need to issue a response.
224
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,480
A clap-back. You know, "I knew what
I was doing all along",
225
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:37,440
that kind of thing.
226
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,680
You and Will Dack has got very
Biggie and Tupac!
227
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,160
If you don't issue a response,
228
00:10:43,159 --> 00:10:45,239
any chance of sponsorship goes away!
229
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,880
Which means no channel,
230
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:48,959
which means no income,
which means...
231
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,600
well, you know what it means.
We're all fucking broke.
232
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,440
And I just bought one of those
really expensive hoovers,
233
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:55,560
with a see-through back?
234
00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:57,439
That you have in the wall? (sobs)
235
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,120
And it recharges.
236
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,000
I understand.
237
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,920
Issue a response, Joy.
238
00:11:01,919 --> 00:11:03,919
You're Tupac.
239
00:11:07,759 --> 00:11:09,759
Joy's a goner...
240
00:11:09,759 --> 00:11:10,439
What?
241
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,320
She's gone.
242
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:12,160
Where's she gone?
243
00:11:12,159 --> 00:11:14,999
She's just gone,
she's not coming back.
244
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,720
Remind me what you do again?
245
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,000
I'm a lawyer, I've been working in
the same office as you for...
246
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,440
ages!
247
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:24,400
And Stephen, what do you do?
248
00:11:24,399 --> 00:11:26,039
Phillip. What do you do!
249
00:11:26,039 --> 00:11:28,039
I'm a marketing guru.
250
00:11:28,039 --> 00:11:29,159
What does that mean?
251
00:11:29,159 --> 00:11:31,319
I've got a degree in marketing.
252
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,080
A d... a diploma in marketing?
Yeah.
253
00:11:36,519 --> 00:11:38,519
(laughs) OK, guys!
254
00:11:38,519 --> 00:11:40,719
I've got some really good news
for you!
255
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,440
What, is she coming back?
256
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,920
You're hired!
257
00:11:43,919 --> 00:11:45,799
OK, Karen, I need you...
258
00:11:45,799 --> 00:11:47,799
to generate content.
259
00:11:47,799 --> 00:11:49,199
No, but I'm a l... I'm a lawyer.
260
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,880
I, eh... Yeah, obviously I'm not
telling you
261
00:11:50,879 --> 00:11:54,039
that you can't be a lawyer,
but just not when you're here.
262
00:11:54,039 --> 00:11:55,559
OK, Stephen... Phillip!
263
00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:58,559
Stop saying that.
Have you heard of the word "unique"?
264
00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:00,359
Of course.
265
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,240
Market that.
266
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,440
OK, I was... I was gonna meet up
with my mum...
267
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,200
Yeah, I'd probably pop a pin
in that?
268
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,720
Do I have time to call her?
I'd pop a pin in that too. OK.
269
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:09,640
Eh, question?
270
00:12:09,639 --> 00:12:12,399
Eh, where do I find content?
What is it?
271
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,519
Do you have a laptop?
272
00:12:13,519 --> 00:12:14,959
Yes. Do you have internet?
273
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,440
Yes. Question time's over, guys. OK?
274
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,440
(music)
275
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:27,480
Look, I don't even care what it
looks like, so long as it's black.
276
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,480
It's mainly... jumpers, and...
277
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,160
grout.
278
00:12:32,159 --> 00:12:34,319
(horror movie music)
Hi!
279
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,200
Can I help you?
280
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,480
My client
281
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,720
is looking for a chic, sensible,
breathable,
282
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,320
grievable funeral outfit.
283
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,880
It must be black,
284
00:12:44,879 --> 00:12:46,879
can you help us?
285
00:12:46,879 --> 00:12:48,079
Yes please.
286
00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:49,920
OK.
287
00:12:49,919 --> 00:12:51,919
(elevator music)
288
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,240
(whispers) What are you looking at?
289
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,200
Sir, could you not... look there?
290
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,720
I can tell a woman's size by
measuring her with my eyes...
291
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,200
Women prefer it this way.
292
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,040
It's less creepy than getting
my tape out
293
00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:11,159
and measuring all the relevant bits?
294
00:13:11,159 --> 00:13:13,359
'Cause this way is not creepy
at all!
295
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,040
Just doing the waist,
and now the flank...
296
00:13:16,039 --> 00:13:17,559
Found one!
297
00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:19,519
Perfect! (laughs nervously)
298
00:13:19,519 --> 00:13:21,199
Changing room please?
299
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,040
Yes please.
300
00:13:22,039 --> 00:13:23,319
Oh. Yeah.
301
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,320
Just...
302
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,320
(gulps)
303
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,960
(horror movie music)
304
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,760
Just to let you ladies know, I'm
here to help you squeeze into
305
00:13:40,759 --> 00:13:42,679
and out of things.
306
00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:44,319
Quite a lot of experience
in that area.
307
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,320
I've seen it all.
308
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,320
So don't be shy.
309
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,360
This is a family store?
Would anyone like a 99?
310
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,399
(elevator music)
311
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:02,280
Christie, you don't have to stick
around, honestly,
312
00:14:02,279 --> 00:14:04,279
you should just head home!
313
00:14:04,279 --> 00:14:06,079
Have a free gaff!
314
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,200
You know, throw a party, just...
315
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,480
wreck the place!
316
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,560
Oh! Thanks babycakes, but
317
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,600
I'm happy to be here!
318
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,360
More so, it was a nice excuse to see
Stan.
319
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,320
Oh!
320
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,720
Meanwhile, in fashion news...
321
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,720
saying a hard yes to that dress,
my friend.
322
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:24,960
Let's go!
323
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,960
(horror movie music)
324
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,720
Have you girls ever heard of the
internet?
325
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,720
It's unbelievable!
326
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,039
Can we pay?
327
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,519
Yes please.
328
00:14:35,519 --> 00:14:37,479
Please.
329
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:38,320
(whispers) Please.
330
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,320
Oh. Not a big mover.
331
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,320
I wouldn't say that!
332
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,320
Oh! Take your time...
333
00:14:49,799 --> 00:14:51,799
Yeah.
334
00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:55,519
Maeve was brave.
335
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,360
Maeve was daring, Maeve was honest.
336
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,360
(church organ)
337
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,400
And Maeve would have wanted me to
talk.
338
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,840
Maeve was a...
339
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:19,480
and I'm sorry, father, I mightn't be
able to say this word, but eh...
340
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,320
but sure this is hardly a funeral at
all, is it?
341
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,840
You've hardly said a word!
I haven't been asked!
342
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,720
Apparently no one wants to hear from
the priest these days,
343
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:29,120
they just want to... rent the hall.
344
00:15:29,119 --> 00:15:31,199
So you may as well use the word.
345
00:15:31,279 --> 00:15:35,119
Well, she was a countr...
Ah now that's unacceptable!
346
00:15:35,119 --> 00:15:37,799
She was a country... bumpkin,
father.
347
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,400
If you'd let me finish.
348
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,440
And we all loved her.
349
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,840
And we all knew she was sick,
she only had three months to go.
350
00:15:45,839 --> 00:15:47,999
And she went the way she wanted.
351
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,400
So today is a celebration.
352
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:55,800
Though I'm absolutely rattling with
the hangover after last night!
353
00:15:55,799 --> 00:15:58,719
Now, I... I couldn't let Maeve go
without
354
00:15:58,839 --> 00:16:02,919
giving her... one of my songs,
you know, some of ye know...
355
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:05,200
She loved my songs, em...
356
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,440
I didn't have a lot of time
357
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,680
on this one. But it comes from the
358
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,640
(sings) Where are you gone?
359
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,720
On the crest of that wave
360
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:18,800
Where will you be when we fly?
361
00:16:19,039 --> 00:16:22,039
Or drive?
362
00:16:22,039 --> 00:16:26,119
Oh where oh where will you be?
363
00:16:27,559 --> 00:16:30,559
Not alive
364
00:16:30,839 --> 00:16:33,319
(ominous music)
Are you ready?
365
00:16:33,319 --> 00:16:36,159
Oh! Eh, not really,
I'm really nervous!
366
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,560
(laughs) Who are ya tellin'?
367
00:16:39,359 --> 00:16:41,359
I'm so glad you're doing it!
368
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:45,480
You wouldn't get me up there for all
the tea in China!
369
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,000
Are you allowed say that?
370
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,800
I'd sail cross the ocean
371
00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:52,039
If I took the notion
372
00:16:52,039 --> 00:16:56,279
That there I'd see you some more
373
00:16:56,279 --> 00:16:58,119
But I won't, oh
374
00:16:58,119 --> 00:16:59,079
You always want to...
375
00:16:59,079 --> 00:17:00,719
get it right, don't you?
376
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,720
To do the person a justice.
377
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,200
Well, good luck!
378
00:17:05,839 --> 00:17:07,839
All I'm saying is...
379
00:17:07,839 --> 00:17:10,159
if I was asked I wouldn't do it! No!
380
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,720
You know, if the shoe was on the
other foot, like!
381
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,720
And you asked me!
382
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,680
I'd be gone!
383
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,680
On the bus! Just... gone!
384
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,320
Legger!
385
00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:27,319
Maaaaaaaaeve!
386
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:32,520
Maeve! Where you gone, oh Maeve?
387
00:17:32,799 --> 00:17:34,959
And what if you forgot her name?
388
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,960
You know? Or you burped?
389
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:37,960
Or ya...
390
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,960
ya peed yourself!
391
00:17:41,559 --> 00:17:43,559
Or you cursed!
392
00:17:43,559 --> 00:17:45,279
You know, like. What if
393
00:17:45,279 --> 00:17:48,119
Have... have you seen the ice cream
truck outside?
394
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:50,959
Oh Maeve!
Everybody, join in if you want!
395
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,840
On the crest of a wave
396
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:57,839
On the crest of a wave!
397
00:17:57,839 --> 00:17:59,719
Maybe
398
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,720
Just out of reach
399
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,160
And now,
400
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,160
someone from the media.
401
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,960
Whatever that means.
402
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,200
(clears throat)
403
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,400
Thank you.
404
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,400
(phone rings)
405
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:37,720
Sorry.
406
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:38,800
Oh!
407
00:18:38,799 --> 00:18:40,119
God, is there wi-fi here?
408
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,119
Network is "Godrocks", all one word.
409
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:43,479
And no password.
410
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,720
God doesn't require it,
he trusts you!
411
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,320
No, I'm just gonna shut that off,
it's my mum, Facetiming.
412
00:18:48,319 --> 00:18:50,319
She's in Canada with my dad.
413
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:53,119
Oot and aboot.
414
00:18:53,319 --> 00:18:55,319
Oot and aboot. Hi guys.
415
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,960
Let us pray, I guess.
416
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,920
Let me have that bit,
for God's sake!
417
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,920
Oh... sorry, you go.
418
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,200
Yeah, go for... you go.
419
00:19:08,759 --> 00:19:10,759
Let us pray.
420
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,919
Exactly. Deadly. Thank you, father.
421
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,400
So who was Maeve?
422
00:19:16,519 --> 00:19:18,519
What was she like?
423
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,640
Well...
424
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,000
she had green eyes,
425
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000
and... red hair...
426
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:27,039
and...
427
00:19:27,839 --> 00:19:29,839
was very tall.
428
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,799
But you guys knew her better.
429
00:19:36,799 --> 00:19:39,319
You know, I hadn't seen her in years.
430
00:19:39,319 --> 00:19:41,399
I had one day with her as an adult,
431
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,800
two days ago, and it was so much fun!
432
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,920
She was my second cousin,
433
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,280
and... we were friends,
434
00:19:48,279 --> 00:19:50,519
one summer when we were fifteen.
435
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,960
God, that was a great summer.
436
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,960
(music)
437
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,240
And that was it.
438
00:19:59,839 --> 00:20:01,839
I abandoned Maeve, I...
439
00:20:01,839 --> 00:20:03,999
didn't come back the next year.
440
00:20:05,839 --> 00:20:07,999
I went to Brittany in France...
441
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,680
which was crap!
442
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,359
Maeve and I are Irish women.
443
00:20:18,039 --> 00:20:20,399
(music speeds up)
We're...
444
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,760
neatness hiding a mess,
445
00:20:21,759 --> 00:20:24,279
we are... good make up over bad skin.
446
00:20:24,279 --> 00:20:26,159
We are...
447
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,760
desperate to be liked, but we're
afraid to be loved.
448
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,920
We're our parents, but
449
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,920
we're still us!
450
00:20:35,079 --> 00:20:38,599
We're all their good bits,
and all their bad bits,
451
00:20:38,599 --> 00:20:42,319
baked into a cake that no one's even
sure they wanna eat!
452
00:20:42,319 --> 00:20:44,319
Least alone, me.
453
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,680
We're... our roots, we're the
454
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,240
green, white and orange, we're...
455
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,840
we're Anne Doyle, we're...
456
00:20:53,839 --> 00:20:56,159
Mary Black, we're Niall Horan.
457
00:20:58,279 --> 00:21:00,279
We're Phil Babb!
458
00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:02,559
And... Zig and Zag, and...
459
00:21:02,599 --> 00:21:05,519
all of their zogabongs,
and we're Bosco.
460
00:21:05,519 --> 00:21:09,479
And we come out of the box, and we go
"Hi!" and then we go back inside, and
461
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:14,000
I loved when he went back inside,
and you saw his really cute bed.
462
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:18,719
(orchestrated music) We're
Michael Flatley's beautiful smile!
463
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:22,960
And we're Jean Butler's hair,
and every one of her freckles!
464
00:21:27,519 --> 00:21:29,679
Is she OK?
We're Johnny Logan.
465
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,160
We're Terry Wogan.
466
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,720
We're Bernard Brogan,
we're Larry Gogan,
467
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:41,040
we're slit for our mocks, but we're
gonna get the Leaving Cert!
468
00:21:42,559 --> 00:21:44,559
We're Nadine Coyle,
469
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:49,160
getting caught in a lie! "What year
did I say, did I say 1984?"
470
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,480
"Did I say the 25th or the 6th?"
471
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:53,519
"Does that make me a Gemini?"
472
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:01,880
Maeve was brave.
473
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,880
Maeve was honest.
474
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,200
(sighs)
475
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,360
Christie, I slept with Stan!
476
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,960
(crowd gasps and mutters)
477
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,160
(microphone feedback)
478
00:22:18,799 --> 00:22:21,279
(breathes heavily) I'm so sorry!
479
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,119
(exhales) Wow.
480
00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:27,839
Turns out I'm no good at
predicting things!
481
00:22:33,799 --> 00:22:36,879
I thought we were going to tell her
together?
482
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,080
I know we were, and I'm sorry, Stan.
483
00:22:39,079 --> 00:22:41,079
Sorry!
484
00:22:41,079 --> 00:22:43,079
For God's sake, Joy!
485
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,960
I would never have put
the two of them together.
33257
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