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1
00:00:10,940 --> 00:00:14,353
Good evening.
Good evening, good evening.
2
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,105
Hello, chaps.
3
00:00:19,398 --> 00:00:21,354
Thank you for coming.
4
00:00:22,607 --> 00:00:27,394
Now then, we have a long way to go,
so... er... keep your powder dry.
5
00:00:28,982 --> 00:00:32,057
Righty-ho...
settle down, now.
6
00:00:36,565 --> 00:00:39,101
1... 2... 3...
7
00:00:39,232 --> 00:00:46,970
# I'm mad about the boy
8
00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:54,062
# I know it's stupid to be
mad about the boy
9
00:00:55,773 --> 00:01:00,265
# I'm so ashamed of it,
but must admit
10
00:01:00,398 --> 00:01:07,355
# The sleepless nights
I've had about the boy
11
00:01:10,523 --> 00:01:14,304
# On the silver screen
12
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:20,472
# He melts my foolish heart
in every single scene
13
00:01:22,607 --> 00:01:25,391
# Although I'm quite aware
14
00:01:25,523 --> 00:01:33,890
# That here and there are traces...
of the cad about the boy
15
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:42,305
# And Lord knows, I'm not a fool girl
16
00:01:44,273 --> 00:01:49,096
# I really shouldn't care
17
00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:54,970
# Lord knows, I'm not a schoolgirl
18
00:01:55,107 --> 00:02:02,146
# In the flurry of her first affair
19
00:02:03,815 --> 00:02:13,225
# Will it ever cloy, this odd diversity
of misery and joy?
20
00:02:15,107 --> 00:02:19,978
# I'm feeling quite insane
and young again
21
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:27,395
# And all because I'm mad
about the boy
22
00:02:42,273 --> 00:02:46,646
# I'm feeling quite insane
and young again
23
00:02:46,773 --> 00:02:51,680
# And all because I'm...
24
00:02:52,982 --> 00:02:58,848
#... mad about the boy #
25
00:03:14,607 --> 00:03:18,186
She's the first lady racer.
-But she didn't actually win.
26
00:03:18,315 --> 00:03:22,688
She crossed the line first.
It's so exciting.
27
00:03:22,815 --> 00:03:25,185
Not nearly as exciting
as crossing your mother.
28
00:03:25,315 --> 00:03:27,804
I think we can all ignore that.
29
00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:30,973
Oh, what is that man doing?
30
00:03:35,357 --> 00:03:36,684
Jackson!
31
00:03:36,815 --> 00:03:38,971
Madam?
-What did I tell you?
32
00:03:39,107 --> 00:03:43,314
Put the camellias by the front door
before the guests arrive!
33
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,897
Furber.
-Madam?
34
00:03:45,023 --> 00:03:48,685
Salvage any of Jackson's appalling
pruning and send it to Mrs Holborough
35
00:03:48,815 --> 00:03:53,686
who's kindly offered up a leg of mutton
for dinner, which you'll fetch, Marion.
36
00:03:53,815 --> 00:03:56,813
But Reverend Burton has asked me
to drain the font.
37
00:03:56,940 --> 00:04:00,222
My hands are clearly full.
-I'll go.
38
00:04:00,357 --> 00:04:03,639
Uncle George has posted
the most grizzly clippings
39
00:04:03,773 --> 00:04:05,480
of the Valentine's Day Massacre!
40
00:04:05,607 --> 00:04:06,851
Hilda.
41
00:04:06,982 --> 00:04:11,556
Seven terrified men cut down
in a hail of automatic gun fire!
42
00:04:11,690 --> 00:04:15,933
Made worse by the strays that
came to lap the curdled blood.
43
00:04:16,065 --> 00:04:19,513
Hilda...
-The Devil Dogs! The Hounds of Hell!
44
00:04:19,648 --> 00:04:22,397
The leg of lamb! Now.
45
00:04:26,773 --> 00:04:32,142
Why we try and marry her off to gentry
when plainly she'd prefer an undertaker.
46
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:36,267
Seating. I'm putting Sarah on your left
and Philip on your right,
47
00:04:36,398 --> 00:04:39,065
so please try and make an effort
to be civil.
48
00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:43,812
Right... I shall go and brush up
on my very small talk.
49
00:04:45,107 --> 00:04:47,346
It might be an awkward meal.
50
00:04:47,482 --> 00:04:51,262
For all we know Sarah's grazing
in greener pastures.
51
00:04:51,398 --> 00:04:56,435
Whilst your brother sows his wild oats
in the South of France with his floozy?
52
00:04:56,565 --> 00:05:01,720
No. We'll keep the home fires burning
until his highness wanders home.
53
00:05:01,857 --> 00:05:03,646
Hmm. Like father did?
54
00:05:03,773 --> 00:05:06,344
Yes. Like your father did.
55
00:05:16,690 --> 00:05:18,894
I've got news, everybody!
56
00:05:19,773 --> 00:05:23,139
You all right, sir?
-No. Are you?
57
00:05:23,273 --> 00:05:26,058
Coping, sir.
-Hear, hear. Well done.
58
00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:29,141
Well done? They look like
they're waiting for a firing squad.
59
00:05:29,273 --> 00:05:33,646
Can't you make them more relaxed?
-Last meal and a cigarette, perhaps?
60
00:05:33,773 --> 00:05:37,981
I can't believe it. You'll never guess.
61
00:05:38,107 --> 00:05:41,970
Houdini escaped the Chinese water
torture only to die of a burst appendix.
62
00:05:42,107 --> 00:05:45,437
How ghastly!
Oh, and Mother's got a telegram.
63
00:05:46,773 --> 00:05:48,978
"Mr and Mrs Whittaker". Your mother.
64
00:05:50,357 --> 00:05:52,431
What's it say, Father?
65
00:05:53,398 --> 00:05:55,685
Perhaps your mother
should read this first.
66
00:05:55,815 --> 00:06:00,556
Oh! That stupid, stupid, stupid boy!
67
00:06:00,690 --> 00:06:03,605
What's happened?
Has there been an accident?
68
00:06:03,732 --> 00:06:06,765
It's John, he's married that f-f-f...
-Francophile?
69
00:06:06,898 --> 00:06:09,304
F-f-f...
-Photographer?
70
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,142
Pharmacist?
-Why are you smirking?
71
00:06:12,273 --> 00:06:15,437
Deploying a smile. One member
of this family may actually be happy.
72
00:06:15,565 --> 00:06:19,262
Don't be absurd! We don't know
anything about this woman. Furber!
73
00:06:19,398 --> 00:06:21,105
Furber!
74
00:06:21,232 --> 00:06:23,803
Oh, not again!
- Madam.
75
00:06:23,940 --> 00:06:26,014
Lord have mercy.
76
00:06:26,148 --> 00:06:29,763
Mister John is coming home with his...
with his wife.
77
00:06:29,898 --> 00:06:32,221
Yes. Their bags have just arrived.
Congratulations, Madam.
78
00:06:32,357 --> 00:06:36,220
I'll be the judge of that. Clear up this
mess and get Cook to send up a ham.
79
00:06:36,357 --> 00:06:40,351
This is from Dover. They'll be half way.
-Yes, Furber. Dress the mutton as ham.
80
00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:42,638
Very sharp,
don't cut yourself.
81
00:06:42,773 --> 00:06:45,309
John married the floozy.
How exciting!
82
00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:03,182
# A room with a view and you
83
00:07:03,315 --> 00:07:06,230
# And no one to worry us
84
00:07:06,357 --> 00:07:12,306
# No one to hurry us through
... this dream we found #
85
00:07:14,982 --> 00:07:18,561
There she blows.
Behold the country cottage.
86
00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:20,764
Oh, Lord, it's enormous.
87
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:24,844
So, I lied about gingerbread hedges
and obese little children.
88
00:07:24,982 --> 00:07:28,513
How hard to swim is the moat?
-Smoke and mirrors, darling.
89
00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:30,556
Smoke and mirrors.
90
00:07:33,023 --> 00:07:36,804
Oh, by the by, smoking... don't.
Apparently it wilts the azaleas.
91
00:07:36,940 --> 00:07:40,602
That makes no sense. Speak English.
-All will be revealed, darling.
92
00:07:42,690 --> 00:07:47,312
Oh, give me back the wheel of my car.
I'm going back to Detroit!
93
00:07:52,648 --> 00:07:54,556
How romantic!
94
00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:57,854
Here they come! Oh, Furber!
95
00:07:57,982 --> 00:08:00,470
Mister John and his wife
are about to arrive.
96
00:08:00,607 --> 00:08:03,474
I can't see them.
-Your tunnel vision.
97
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,602
Ooh!
98
00:08:12,065 --> 00:08:15,063
Smile, Marion.
-I don't feel like smiling.
99
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:16,766
You're English, dear. Fake it.
100
00:08:26,523 --> 00:08:29,889
The prodigal son returns
in a blaze of gravel.
101
00:08:30,023 --> 00:08:32,310
Father! You shaved.
102
00:08:35,023 --> 00:08:37,642
Welcome, Madam.
103
00:08:37,773 --> 00:08:40,522
You look gorgeous.
104
00:08:40,648 --> 00:08:42,769
It's so lovely to see you.
105
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,893
Oh, darling. Sorry, sorry!
106
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,054
This is my wife, Larita.
107
00:08:56,148 --> 00:08:59,431
Mrs Whittaker, the pleasure is all mine.
108
00:08:59,565 --> 00:09:01,106
Oh, you're American.
109
00:09:01,232 --> 00:09:03,981
And very welcome. Jim Whittaker.
- This is my father.
110
00:09:04,107 --> 00:09:06,726
I fought alongside many
of your countrymen, Larita,
111
00:09:06,857 --> 00:09:09,523
and I must say it's an honour
to have a comrade in the family.
112
00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:12,812
Thank you.
I do hope I'm not a disappointment.
113
00:09:12,940 --> 00:09:15,393
Far from it.
-And my two little blisters.
114
00:09:15,523 --> 00:09:17,182
Hilda and Marion.
115
00:09:17,315 --> 00:09:19,982
Aren't you the woman
who won the Grand Prix?
116
00:09:20,107 --> 00:09:21,765
First place, before disqualification.
117
00:09:21,898 --> 00:09:25,892
Apparently you need chest hair
to change gears in Monaco.
118
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:29,934
I saw you in the paper.
I cut your head out. I could just die!
119
00:09:31,773 --> 00:09:35,719
Furber, that suitcase
to the drawing room, and do be careful.
120
00:09:35,857 --> 00:09:38,973
Marion... Golly, you're not a bit
like what we imagined.
121
00:09:39,107 --> 00:09:42,021
Somewhat older, I expect.
Awfully sorry about that.
122
00:09:44,773 --> 00:09:47,060
Before the frostbite sets in...
123
00:09:47,190 --> 00:09:51,480
I'm looking forward to getting acquainted
with the mother of my "Panda".
124
00:09:51,607 --> 00:09:54,640
You'll find me quite uncomplicated,
I'm afraid.
125
00:09:54,773 --> 00:09:56,764
Oh! What are you doing?
126
00:09:56,898 --> 00:09:59,055
Carrying you over the finish line.
127
00:10:03,107 --> 00:10:06,188
Venus de Milo meet my Venus Detroit.
128
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:07,856
Oh, hello.
129
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,305
Mother's turned our old nursery
into a boudoir.
130
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,514
I wouldn't exactly call
it a boudoir, Hilda.
131
00:10:12,648 --> 00:10:15,812
Marvellous. All those grubby memories
of Little Johnnie.
132
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:18,014
We had no time
to raid the hothouse.
133
00:10:18,148 --> 00:10:20,388
I only hope we can make you
comfortable.
134
00:10:20,523 --> 00:10:23,723
Don't go to any trouble.
We're only staying a few days.
135
00:10:26,065 --> 00:10:28,221
Aren't we, Johnnie?
-Of course.
136
00:10:28,357 --> 00:10:30,643
And for our next surprise...
137
00:10:34,565 --> 00:10:37,433
What on earth is that?
138
00:10:38,732 --> 00:10:41,267
His master's voice!
A wedding gift from us to you all.
139
00:10:41,398 --> 00:10:45,013
How divine! You should've
got married years ago!
140
00:10:45,148 --> 00:10:52,105
#... another June,
another sunny honeymoon
141
00:10:52,232 --> 00:10:58,346
# Another season, another reason
for making whoopee... #
142
00:11:00,523 --> 00:11:02,846
Come on, little blister. Twirl for me.
143
00:11:08,898 --> 00:11:13,769
Oh, a Continental education.
Not all of us have been so fortunate.
144
00:11:13,898 --> 00:11:17,062
An emotional depiction of the French
postal service, Mrs Whittaker.
145
00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:20,022
Come now, not Mrs Whittaker.
It's "Mother" now.
146
00:11:20,148 --> 00:11:23,016
I don't think we're quite ready
for that yet.
147
00:11:23,148 --> 00:11:29,346
Since time is so clearly against us, why
don't you show Larita up to the nursery?
148
00:11:29,482 --> 00:11:31,970
Dinner's at 8:00.
149
00:11:32,107 --> 00:11:35,140
You didn't tell them?
-One bombshell at a time, darling.
150
00:11:35,273 --> 00:11:39,812
That's not fair! Your poor mother.
How long are we staying?
151
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:41,847
A few days?
152
00:11:41,982 --> 00:11:46,805
I shoulder the shortcomings of this family
and what do I get in return? A few days!
153
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,642
Look at her. What am I supposed
to do with the bauble of a woman?
154
00:11:49,773 --> 00:11:51,930
Hang her?
-I think she's splendid.
155
00:11:52,065 --> 00:11:55,644
Do you, Hilda? Well, we can all relax.
-She's not what I expected.
156
00:11:55,773 --> 00:11:57,515
She's exactly
what I expected.
157
00:11:57,648 --> 00:12:01,096
Surely not exactly? She wasn't drunk.
-Oh, very funny, Jim.
158
00:12:01,232 --> 00:12:04,846
Reduce this to the burlesque.
-She looks so expensive!
159
00:12:04,982 --> 00:12:07,435
Very.
-Hmm. I like her.
160
00:12:07,565 --> 00:12:10,267
Yes, Jim. We all know what you like.
161
00:12:10,398 --> 00:12:11,772
Mother!
162
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:21,178
Oh, we have all been sent
to our "wombs".
163
00:12:23,482 --> 00:12:26,598
And so toasty.
-Economics in action.
164
00:12:26,732 --> 00:12:29,683
She keeps half the house closed
to save on heating.
165
00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:32,434
That explains the frosty reception.
166
00:12:32,565 --> 00:12:35,895
Well, darling. Let me warm you up.
167
00:12:58,357 --> 00:13:01,271
Well?
-She's lovely, I'm very proud of you.
168
00:13:01,398 --> 00:13:03,223
Thanks, Father.
169
00:13:03,357 --> 00:13:07,516
John? How long is a few days?
170
00:13:07,648 --> 00:13:10,730
Mother, Larita and I would like
to find a home in London.
171
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:14,554
But this is your home.
-A home of their own.
172
00:13:16,690 --> 00:13:18,977
But Panda, we need you here.
173
00:13:19,107 --> 00:13:23,480
Since you went off around the Riviera,
we've had to let go of six more people.
174
00:13:23,607 --> 00:13:25,846
If you'd just listened to me
and taken on some machinery.
175
00:13:25,982 --> 00:13:29,394
Wouldn't that be a good idea? I could
run the entire estate single-handedly.
176
00:13:29,523 --> 00:13:33,220
Congratulations on your insight
and your spontaneity.
177
00:13:33,357 --> 00:13:36,639
Sarah and Philip are coming to dinner
tonight, and I have got a table plan
178
00:13:36,773 --> 00:13:39,096
that will take the League
of Nations to unravel.
179
00:13:39,232 --> 00:13:44,185
Tonight? That's absolutely splendid!
-Don't be so fickle in your affections.
180
00:13:44,315 --> 00:13:46,602
Sarah might not be
as accommodating as you expect.
181
00:13:46,732 --> 00:13:48,687
Codswallop. She'll be delighted.
182
00:13:48,815 --> 00:13:52,974
If mother was so desperate for her hand
in marriage, she should've asked herself!
183
00:13:53,107 --> 00:13:55,263
Strange as it may seem,
I agree with your sister.
184
00:13:55,398 --> 00:13:57,140
I think you're wrong.
185
00:13:57,273 --> 00:14:00,686
On certain things, yes. Call her.
186
00:14:00,815 --> 00:14:02,521
Really?
- Really.
187
00:14:02,648 --> 00:14:06,891
Really! If Edgar were here,
he'd do the manly thing.
188
00:14:07,023 --> 00:14:09,512
What? Run away?
189
00:14:13,607 --> 00:14:15,432
Here they come!
190
00:14:29,857 --> 00:14:33,720
And the chequered flag goes to...
Fast work, John!
191
00:14:33,857 --> 00:14:38,016
I should've written, but it happened
so fast, I didn't know where I was.
192
00:14:38,148 --> 00:14:40,353
In Larita's arms, it seems.
193
00:14:40,482 --> 00:14:43,764
Please don't be disappointed.
-Of course I'm disappointed.
194
00:14:43,898 --> 00:14:46,813
But tell me you're happy,
and I'll tell you you're forgiven.
195
00:14:46,940 --> 00:14:50,555
# You're the top,
you're Mahatma Gandhi! #
196
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:53,261
Panda, don't break out
the brandy just yet.
197
00:14:53,398 --> 00:14:55,140
The hell we're not.
198
00:14:55,273 --> 00:14:59,349
Have I missed something?
-Let sleeping cows stand.
199
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,389
Oh, you plonker!
200
00:15:01,523 --> 00:15:04,605
Rule one, push sleeping cow.
201
00:15:04,732 --> 00:15:07,137
Rule two, get out of the way.
202
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:09,844
Rule three, remember rule two.
203
00:15:09,982 --> 00:15:12,553
Sarah!
It's so lovely to see you.
204
00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:14,977
I hear your poor father
is not having a good day.
205
00:15:15,107 --> 00:15:17,678
I'm afraid not. He sends his love.
206
00:15:17,815 --> 00:15:21,228
You are a jolly good sport,
turning up like this, that's all I can say.
207
00:15:21,357 --> 00:15:24,604
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Larita is such a pretty name.
208
00:15:24,732 --> 00:15:28,144
Yes. Excellent for musical comedy.
Hilda!
209
00:15:28,273 --> 00:15:31,390
I hear the cow's in a terrible way.
-I've sent flowers.
210
00:15:31,523 --> 00:15:33,728
And did she eat them?
Touché!
211
00:15:33,857 --> 00:15:35,682
Good evening to you all.
212
00:15:36,523 --> 00:15:38,561
Nobody told me tonight
was fancy dress!
213
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:41,723
Then why have you come
as the village idiot?
214
00:15:43,273 --> 00:15:45,679
I think I'm snagged.
215
00:15:45,815 --> 00:15:48,055
Let me help you with that.
216
00:15:50,773 --> 00:15:52,515
Holy mother!
217
00:15:53,732 --> 00:15:58,934
Panda? You're forgiven... tenfold.
218
00:16:04,315 --> 00:16:10,430
Sarah Hurst, I'd like to introduce
my wife, Larita Whittaker.
219
00:16:10,565 --> 00:16:13,598
Gosh, I do like the sound of that.
220
00:16:13,732 --> 00:16:15,936
Sarah... finally.
221
00:16:16,065 --> 00:16:19,680
Johnnie talks about you constantly.
-How very annoying for you.
222
00:16:19,815 --> 00:16:24,852
I hope we can be friends.
-We already are. Congratulations.
223
00:16:24,982 --> 00:16:27,980
Er... I'd like to be friends, too.
224
00:16:28,107 --> 00:16:31,768
Larita, my tiresome brother...
-The dishonourable Philip Hurst.
225
00:16:31,898 --> 00:16:34,304
Charmed, my dear lady.
Indeed.
226
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,845
Philip, won't you escort me in?
227
00:16:36,982 --> 00:16:40,229
Of course,
my beautiful, little Sausage Fingers.
228
00:16:40,357 --> 00:16:42,976
That's whet my appetite.
Shall we adjourn to the dining room?
229
00:16:43,107 --> 00:16:45,097
And toast my beautiful bride.
230
00:16:45,232 --> 00:16:47,934
Had we known there was to be
a wedding reception,
231
00:16:48,065 --> 00:16:50,554
we could've lashed out on taffeta!
232
00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:54,518
She's a lot like drowning:
quite pleasant once you stop struggling.
233
00:16:54,648 --> 00:16:58,856
So, John, was Larita's
family able to attend the wedding?
234
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:07,266
More cabbage, Madam?
235
00:17:07,398 --> 00:17:10,017
There's lots to do, Larita.
You ride, don't you?
236
00:17:10,148 --> 00:17:12,471
Boats, cars or planes?
237
00:17:12,607 --> 00:17:16,055
No, horses, silly.
- Ah, yes, horses.
238
00:17:16,190 --> 00:17:18,892
Faulty steering and unreliable brakes.
239
00:17:20,232 --> 00:17:22,187
I'm stealing that for Stirrup Cup!
240
00:17:22,315 --> 00:17:24,353
Stirrup what?
-Cup.
241
00:17:24,482 --> 00:17:27,231
Every November, Philip and Sarah's
family host the hunt.
242
00:17:27,357 --> 00:17:29,596
Wait until you meet their father,
Lord Hurst, he's terrific.
243
00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:33,560
And Lady Hurst?
-Was terrific, until she... stopped.
244
00:17:35,648 --> 00:17:37,473
Stopped what?
-Living.
245
00:17:38,523 --> 00:17:40,893
Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that.
246
00:17:42,023 --> 00:17:46,728
Between father's polio
and Philip's mania for tipping cows...
247
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,812
Can we please just drop the cows?
248
00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:51,429
I think we'll give the fox a break
this year.
249
00:17:51,565 --> 00:17:55,938
Oh, no hunt? Mrs Winston gave me
her saddle. I've had a wax.
250
00:17:57,690 --> 00:18:00,937
Your father and I conspired to make
John the Master of the Hunt.
251
00:18:01,065 --> 00:18:04,312
People come from far and wide.
It's such a shame to disappoint them.
252
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,182
Very thoughtful, Mother.
253
00:18:06,315 --> 00:18:09,017
You do hunt,
I take it, Larita?
254
00:18:09,148 --> 00:18:12,230
Hypocrites, gossips
or defenceless animals?
255
00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:13,636
Bravo!
256
00:18:13,773 --> 00:18:15,811
You wouldn't get her to the start.
257
00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:19,555
We have another
conscientious objector, Father.
258
00:18:19,690 --> 00:18:23,933
Company! Do you object to the circus
or the slaughter, Major?
259
00:18:24,065 --> 00:18:26,470
I support Sheppard's position
on pacifism.
260
00:18:26,607 --> 00:18:30,470
Good for you.
So, when does the carnage begin?
261
00:18:30,607 --> 00:18:34,268
After the War Widow's Revue,
but before the craft fair,
262
00:18:34,398 --> 00:18:36,270
in between the Dog Show and the shoot.
263
00:18:36,398 --> 00:18:40,723
Don't forget the highlight. Mother's
Christmas dance is the hot ticket.
264
00:18:40,857 --> 00:18:44,020
She's ordered the most exquisite
Japanese lanterns.
265
00:18:44,148 --> 00:18:46,719
From Japan?
-No, Fortnum & Mason's.
266
00:18:46,857 --> 00:18:50,518
Oh, yes.
Prepare for a whirlwind, Larita.
267
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,605
I'm breathless already.
268
00:18:57,523 --> 00:19:00,687
I won't make it to Christmas.
You won't need to.
269
00:19:00,815 --> 00:19:03,351
I won't make it to breakfast!
What were we just eating?
270
00:19:03,482 --> 00:19:06,053
The lumpy grey and beige concoction?
271
00:19:06,190 --> 00:19:10,314
Oh, yes. That's the word
I was looking for... "greige".
272
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,853
Absolutely no idea.
But it is the speciality of the house.
273
00:19:13,982 --> 00:19:17,264
Incoming! Have you met my namesake?
He's very good in bed.
274
00:19:17,398 --> 00:19:20,065
Shh! They'll hear you.
-I don't care.
275
00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:21,813
I do.
276
00:19:23,065 --> 00:19:25,814
I know we need the heat,
but please don't smoke.
277
00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:28,310
Mother's clairvoyant about these things.
278
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,893
She loathes me, Johnnie.
279
00:19:31,023 --> 00:19:34,555
I'm a gold-digger, burrowing in
from the land of opportunists.
280
00:19:36,023 --> 00:19:38,512
Your father's an interesting study,
though.
281
00:19:38,648 --> 00:19:40,722
Quietly sardonic. I like that in a man.
282
00:19:40,857 --> 00:19:44,139
That won't earn you many
brownie points under this roof.
283
00:19:45,773 --> 00:19:49,353
After the Armistice,
Father didn't come straight home.
284
00:19:49,482 --> 00:19:52,894
He caroused around France and Italy,
drinking, having affairs...
285
00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:56,471
A lot of men did similar...
couldn't settle down.
286
00:19:56,607 --> 00:19:59,972
Why didn't she go after him?
-A question of pride.
287
00:20:00,107 --> 00:20:02,228
He finally just wandered home.
288
00:20:02,357 --> 00:20:05,557
Still a bit of a sore point.
We try not to speak about it.
289
00:20:05,690 --> 00:20:07,100
Except in public.
290
00:20:07,232 --> 00:20:10,146
You see, she feels
she's missed out on something.
291
00:20:10,273 --> 00:20:12,844
Which means, of course,
she's missed out on everything.
292
00:20:12,982 --> 00:20:16,430
Exactly. The war robbed her
of all her expectations.
293
00:20:16,565 --> 00:20:19,267
She takes one look
at a woman like you...
294
00:20:19,398 --> 00:20:22,645
The harlot stealing into the nursery...
295
00:20:22,773 --> 00:20:24,930
The delicious concubine...
296
00:20:25,065 --> 00:20:27,056
... with the delectable ears...
297
00:20:27,857 --> 00:20:29,350
... nose...
298
00:20:29,898 --> 00:20:31,356
... neck.
299
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,683
I could just...
300
00:20:36,065 --> 00:20:37,522
... eat you.
301
00:20:37,648 --> 00:20:40,054
After that meal I'm not surprised.
302
00:20:48,357 --> 00:20:53,228
# '... I'm mad about the boy! ' #
303
00:21:34,315 --> 00:21:38,972
Dear Lord, thank you for bringing
John and his floozy home safely.
304
00:21:47,648 --> 00:21:50,765
'Hmm... John! '
305
00:21:59,690 --> 00:22:03,387
Why is Larita always so late?
-You can't hurry perfection.
306
00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:07,896
Edgar was never late for a meal.
- He's missed a few lately.
307
00:22:08,023 --> 00:22:11,603
Good morning.
How are we all on this glorious day?
308
00:22:11,732 --> 00:22:15,429
There she is! Morning, darling.
309
00:22:18,398 --> 00:22:20,603
What would Madam like for breakfast?
310
00:22:21,357 --> 00:22:24,390
I think Madam will get more sustenance
from a kipper.
311
00:22:24,523 --> 00:22:27,770
But it won't be as much fun.
-Aren't you riding with us?
312
00:22:27,898 --> 00:22:30,221
Darling, I think it's about high time
313
00:22:30,357 --> 00:22:34,303
that your mother and I have
an intimate tête-à-tête.
314
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,888
Just us girls.
-Lovely.
315
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:40,429
What a frightening thought.
316
00:22:42,815 --> 00:22:50,020
Two hemispheres under one roof.
Papua New Guinea, India, the Argentine.
317
00:22:53,565 --> 00:22:56,480
I may not have travelled,
but the world has come to me.
318
00:22:56,607 --> 00:22:59,854
-Are you coming down with something?
319
00:22:59,982 --> 00:23:03,182
Pollen.
But if I hold my breath long enough...
320
00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:05,057
How peculiar.
321
00:23:05,190 --> 00:23:07,477
Which is why we should
get to know one another.
322
00:23:07,607 --> 00:23:10,521
Where does one start?
-Shall I make headway?
323
00:23:10,648 --> 00:23:14,228
I was born in Detroit.
My father worked in the steel plant.
324
00:23:14,357 --> 00:23:17,023
He was one of the first
lured over to Henry Ford.
325
00:23:17,148 --> 00:23:19,139
Ah, hence the love of motoring?
326
00:23:19,273 --> 00:23:21,726
Yes, but I also love animals.
327
00:23:21,857 --> 00:23:24,013
I am a city girl.
I take chickens to the vet.
328
00:23:24,148 --> 00:23:25,771
Oh!
329
00:23:25,898 --> 00:23:30,022
You can't be squeamish about livestock
now that you are living in the country.
330
00:23:30,148 --> 00:23:32,222
Which was never my intention.
331
00:23:32,357 --> 00:23:35,224
I was happily carving out a niche
for myself on the race circuit
332
00:23:35,357 --> 00:23:39,646
when I was unexpectedly flagged down
by someone irresistible.
333
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:45,304
Remarrying was the farthest thing
from my mind.
334
00:23:47,315 --> 00:23:49,021
I see...
335
00:23:51,565 --> 00:23:53,307
May I ask?
336
00:23:54,232 --> 00:23:57,811
Oh, dead, unfortunately. No children.
337
00:23:57,940 --> 00:24:01,934
Oh...
How disappointing for you.
338
00:24:02,065 --> 00:24:04,435
Still, he provided well, though?
339
00:24:04,565 --> 00:24:09,353
Yes, but there were a lot of hidden costs
associated with his passing.
340
00:24:09,482 --> 00:24:14,471
Oh, that beautiful motor car... Surely,
you must have independent means?
341
00:24:14,607 --> 00:24:17,309
I'm more than happy
to discuss my means,
342
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,726
but I think you'll be a tad disappointed.
343
00:24:19,857 --> 00:24:22,226
The car is my sole source of income.
344
00:24:22,357 --> 00:24:25,520
Which makes living in London
an imperative.
345
00:24:25,648 --> 00:24:28,137
But what will John do in the city?
346
00:24:28,273 --> 00:24:30,643
Work. It's not uncommon.
347
00:24:30,773 --> 00:24:32,432
Oh!
348
00:24:33,523 --> 00:24:36,605
John was brought up in the country,
Larita.
349
00:24:36,732 --> 00:24:38,853
Where will he work?
350
00:24:38,982 --> 00:24:42,892
Chalk Farm, perhaps?
Or St-Martin-In-The-Fields?
351
00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:47,480
I know this is not perfect so that's
why I'm asking for your guidance.
352
00:24:47,607 --> 00:24:50,889
So, please, how can I make this
pleasant for everybody?
353
00:24:51,023 --> 00:24:55,846
Well, erm... wartime experience dictates
that you keep your head down
354
00:24:55,982 --> 00:24:57,937
and you fit in as well as you can.
355
00:24:58,065 --> 00:25:02,806
Oh, there's a war on?
-Oh, no... not necessarily.
356
00:25:03,732 --> 00:25:06,895
Australian mimosa. Mmm... beautiful.
357
00:25:08,190 --> 00:25:10,477
-Oh...
358
00:25:15,482 --> 00:25:19,689
And then the British troops opened fire...
How grizzly!
359
00:25:19,815 --> 00:25:23,311
How'd it go, Mother?
-Oh, marvellous!
360
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:24,684
Marvellous.
361
00:25:30,773 --> 00:25:32,847
Thanks for the invitation!
362
00:25:40,898 --> 00:25:42,854
Thanks for the invitation!
363
00:25:42,982 --> 00:25:45,517
Oh, it's Lord Hurst!
364
00:25:45,648 --> 00:25:48,563
I fear storm clouds are gathering,
Mrs Whit.
365
00:25:48,690 --> 00:25:50,811
Stop being maudlin, Father.
366
00:25:50,940 --> 00:25:53,096
It's the future!
- Spanner!
367
00:25:53,232 --> 00:25:57,688
Father, allow me to introduce
Panda's new chauffeuse.
368
00:25:57,815 --> 00:26:01,477
Lovely La-La-Larita.
- Watch it, Philip.
369
00:26:01,607 --> 00:26:04,972
My son is prone to fabrication,
but I can see on this occasion
370
00:26:05,107 --> 00:26:07,809
he has been perfectly frank,
Mrs Whittaker.
371
00:26:08,940 --> 00:26:12,934
Yes, that's right.
There are two of us now.
372
00:26:13,065 --> 00:26:15,767
No shortage of wits
around here any more.
373
00:26:15,898 --> 00:26:19,430
OK, stand back! I give you, the future!
374
00:26:23,940 --> 00:26:26,891
All right, John.
You can take my baby out for a spin.
375
00:26:28,607 --> 00:26:32,019
Ha-ha! Allergies.
She inflates like a puffer fish.
376
00:26:32,148 --> 00:26:34,684
You just want to squeeze her
until she pops.
377
00:26:34,815 --> 00:26:37,600
#... working at the car wash
378
00:26:42,107 --> 00:26:44,512
# You might not ever strike it rich
379
00:26:46,148 --> 00:26:49,230
# But let me tell you,
it's better than digging a ditch
380
00:26:49,357 --> 00:26:52,769
# Working at the car wash!
381
00:26:52,898 --> 00:26:55,601
# Working at the car wash, man
382
00:26:55,732 --> 00:26:58,481
# Come on, now, sing it to me
383
00:26:59,523 --> 00:27:02,142
# It's better than digging a ditch... #
384
00:27:14,107 --> 00:27:16,939
The missus is a bit trigger-happy
this week.
385
00:27:17,065 --> 00:27:19,020
Bleeding tinnitus is killing me.
386
00:27:19,148 --> 00:27:23,438
I like the new Mrs Whit. Reminds me
of the old one before the war.
387
00:27:23,565 --> 00:27:26,765
Only more reasonable. You can tell
she's run her own household.
388
00:27:26,898 --> 00:27:28,605
Oh, be silent!
389
00:27:28,732 --> 00:27:32,512
Good morning,
Furber, Jackson, Millie, and?
390
00:27:32,648 --> 00:27:35,433
Cook, I can't call you a verb.
Your name?
391
00:27:36,273 --> 00:27:37,731
Beatrice.
392
00:27:41,273 --> 00:27:45,314
All right, all right... it's Doris.
Sorry, Madam.
393
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,976
Always wanted to be called Beatrice.
394
00:27:48,107 --> 00:27:52,764
Well, Beatrice, would you mind
if I helped myself in the mornings?
395
00:27:52,898 --> 00:27:56,015
I fear I shall be rising later and later.
396
00:27:56,148 --> 00:27:58,637
Well... if it pleases, Mrs Whit.
397
00:28:00,857 --> 00:28:02,729
The point of the bell?
398
00:28:02,857 --> 00:28:06,057
When I ring it, you come to me,
not the other way round!
399
00:28:07,190 --> 00:28:09,311
Larita. May I have a word?
400
00:28:10,523 --> 00:28:12,230
Come along!
401
00:28:15,148 --> 00:28:18,063
Would you please refrain
from chatting to the staff?
402
00:28:18,190 --> 00:28:20,939
It's chore enough trying to keep
this motley crew together.
403
00:28:21,065 --> 00:28:25,141
I had a brilliant French maid in Paris.
Perhaps I should send for her?
404
00:28:25,273 --> 00:28:27,679
Thank you, no... erm...
405
00:28:27,815 --> 00:28:32,188
I'd prefer to keep English
the first language in this household.
406
00:28:32,315 --> 00:28:33,938
Ah, there you are.
407
00:28:34,065 --> 00:28:36,554
I say! Anyone for tennis?
408
00:28:36,690 --> 00:28:38,017
Yes. You!
409
00:28:38,148 --> 00:28:40,554
John, Shackleton wouldn't let
a dog out today!
410
00:28:40,690 --> 00:28:42,764
The fog has lifted
and Whittakers don't do winter.
411
00:28:42,898 --> 00:28:46,145
You go ahead, darling.
I'll play with myself.
412
00:28:46,273 --> 00:28:49,390
No, really. I'm a lot of fun.
-Ooh...
413
00:28:49,523 --> 00:28:52,225
John!
It's brass monkeys out here!
414
00:28:56,065 --> 00:28:59,644
Day one of the Antarctic Open.
Mister Whittaker to serve.
415
00:29:02,982 --> 00:29:05,186
Hole in one!
-Deuce.
416
00:29:05,315 --> 00:29:09,261
I see your pair of deuces
and I raise you a tenner.
417
00:29:09,398 --> 00:29:12,349
The Titanic could have hit that!
418
00:29:12,482 --> 00:29:16,392
Sarah, you're an embarrassment to
the family name. I'll have you killed.
419
00:29:16,523 --> 00:29:20,220
Good God! What's wrong with you?
No! Stop now!
420
00:29:20,357 --> 00:29:23,557
Stop, everybody! Listen!
- Shoot the court jester!
421
00:29:23,690 --> 00:29:27,636
Nice backhand!
- Is that a backhand compliment?
422
00:29:27,773 --> 00:29:30,973
# Mad dogs and Englishmen
go out in the midday sun!
423
00:29:31,107 --> 00:29:34,603
# The Japanese don't care to,
the Chinese wouldn't dare to
424
00:29:34,732 --> 00:29:37,646
# Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly
from twelve to one
425
00:29:37,773 --> 00:29:41,104
# But Englishmen detest a siesta... #
426
00:29:41,232 --> 00:29:44,727
Laurel and Hardy step up
to the crease. The fillies are lining up.
427
00:29:44,857 --> 00:29:48,637
Miss Hilda Whittaker looking most
fetching in her feed bag and bridle!
428
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:57,596
One woman's heaven...
429
00:29:58,982 --> 00:30:00,854
Oh, she's absolutely beautiful.
430
00:30:03,190 --> 00:30:06,851
Broken, tarnished
and completely useless.
431
00:30:08,148 --> 00:30:12,189
Things guaranteed
to keep my wife at bay.
432
00:30:12,315 --> 00:30:14,021
May I?
433
00:30:14,148 --> 00:30:16,554
If you don't mind
getting your hands dirty.
434
00:30:16,690 --> 00:30:20,518
In Detroit, what we lack in dirt,
we make up for in filth.
435
00:30:20,648 --> 00:30:23,765
Your first husband
from that neck of the woods?
436
00:30:23,898 --> 00:30:26,387
Oh... well, word gets about.
437
00:30:28,690 --> 00:30:31,474
So where is he now?
-Dead.
438
00:30:33,648 --> 00:30:35,520
Cancer.
439
00:30:35,648 --> 00:30:37,971
He was a fair bit older than me.
440
00:30:38,107 --> 00:30:41,851
I spent a while playing the unmerry
widow but the black wore thin.
441
00:30:42,732 --> 00:30:46,429
You didn't care for him, I gather?
-I cared too much.
442
00:30:46,565 --> 00:30:50,393
Life was just such an unpleasant
experience for the man, I...
443
00:30:50,982 --> 00:30:54,264
I'd be a liar to say I wasn't glad
when he was relieved of it.
444
00:31:02,857 --> 00:31:06,222
When were you last in France?
-Just after the war?
445
00:31:06,357 --> 00:31:08,312
On a personal reconnaissance,
446
00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:13,263
trying to ascertain what exactly
all those fine young men had died for.
447
00:31:14,898 --> 00:31:17,647
Apparently, I'm of the romantic
Lost Generation.
448
00:31:18,940 --> 00:31:20,682
What did you lose?
449
00:31:21,690 --> 00:31:23,764
I'm not sure.
450
00:32:21,898 --> 00:32:24,352
Oh, hello... hello.
451
00:32:24,482 --> 00:32:28,310
Who was the tiny tank?
Who's a pretty, little, cheeky chorizo?
452
00:32:29,607 --> 00:32:33,055
On bended knees,
please come and play with me.
453
00:32:33,190 --> 00:32:35,394
Johnnie dear,
you know how much I love you,
454
00:32:35,523 --> 00:32:39,220
so please try to take this
in the best possible light.
455
00:32:39,357 --> 00:32:43,433
I'm getting a machine gun
and mowing down your entire family.
456
00:32:43,565 --> 00:32:47,180
That's fairly disappointing. I thought
you and Father were getting along.
457
00:32:47,315 --> 00:32:49,934
Yes, I might spare the men folk.
458
00:32:50,065 --> 00:32:53,762
But it's awfully dispiriting.
We have absolutely no privacy here.
459
00:32:53,898 --> 00:32:56,387
I never needed any privacy before.
This is my home.
460
00:32:56,523 --> 00:32:59,225
It's not mine.
And I very much want one.
461
00:33:00,648 --> 00:33:05,720
# We're all alone,
no chaperone can get our number
462
00:33:05,857 --> 00:33:09,981
# The world's aslumber,
let's misbehave
463
00:33:13,190 --> 00:33:15,892
Timing is everything, you little brute!
464
00:33:16,023 --> 00:33:19,306
Umpire at least.
Philip is pining for you.
465
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:23,351
If I knew you played tennis, I never
would've signed the marriage certificate!
466
00:33:23,482 --> 00:33:25,223
Ow!
467
00:33:38,523 --> 00:33:41,059
Not a bad day for it.
468
00:33:41,190 --> 00:33:42,980
Reading.
469
00:33:43,107 --> 00:33:45,974
My fiancé, Edgar,
was always hiding behind books.
470
00:33:46,107 --> 00:33:50,598
Erm... you're needed on the tennis court.
John was just asking after you.
471
00:33:50,732 --> 00:33:53,932
Would you like to see
a photo of him... my Edgar?
472
00:33:54,065 --> 00:33:55,309
Poppy!
473
00:33:58,565 --> 00:34:01,729
That's Enrico Caruso.
-Who's dead, I know that...
474
00:34:01,857 --> 00:34:05,305
But if you ignore
the nose and the mouth...
475
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:08,852
... and the ears...
there's a striking resemblance.
476
00:34:10,773 --> 00:34:12,894
I don't actually have a picture of Edgar.
477
00:34:14,315 --> 00:34:16,353
Well... mustn't keep you.
478
00:34:16,482 --> 00:34:20,522
No, no. Of course. Looking forward
to getting stuck in to a good book.
479
00:34:20,648 --> 00:34:22,686
Poppy!
480
00:34:22,815 --> 00:34:25,517
You haven't seen the beast, have you?
-The dog?
481
00:34:25,648 --> 00:34:27,971
Nope. I haven't.
482
00:34:29,690 --> 00:34:31,147
Poppy!
483
00:34:37,065 --> 00:34:40,561
Oh, poor, poor Poppy. I'm so sorry.
484
00:34:40,690 --> 00:34:42,396
Larita!
485
00:34:44,732 --> 00:34:49,270
I've been sent in to badger you.
Please help us make up doubles?
486
00:34:49,398 --> 00:34:54,056
Oh, Hilda, I can't. I'm only good
for the cocktails between sets.
487
00:34:54,190 --> 00:34:58,515
We're between sets now.
-You can't possibly want me on court.
488
00:34:59,815 --> 00:35:02,434
Philip! Go get him.
489
00:35:05,232 --> 00:35:07,187
Poppy!
490
00:35:09,190 --> 00:35:10,766
Poppy!
491
00:35:10,899 --> 00:35:12,439
Poppy!
492
00:35:15,982 --> 00:35:17,807
What are you doing?
- Reading.
493
00:35:17,940 --> 00:35:20,974
"Sodom and Gomorrah:
A Biblical Story".
494
00:35:21,107 --> 00:35:23,642
Who gave you this filth?
495
00:35:27,232 --> 00:35:30,432
Go and find the dog! Larita!
496
00:35:32,899 --> 00:35:36,844
Please refrain from giving my daughter
pornographic literature.
497
00:35:36,982 --> 00:35:38,475
Yes, yes, of course.
498
00:35:38,607 --> 00:35:41,274
Oh, and I've volunteered you and Hilda
499
00:35:41,399 --> 00:35:45,095
to perform the Dance of the Dying Swan
for the War Widows' Revue.
500
00:35:45,232 --> 00:35:47,057
We're short on numbers.
501
00:35:47,190 --> 00:35:49,643
Lovely. Anything to help.
502
00:35:49,774 --> 00:35:51,432
Have you seen the dog?
503
00:35:51,565 --> 00:35:53,721
No. Not recently.
504
00:35:53,857 --> 00:35:57,720
Probably out seizing the sunshine
like everyone else.
505
00:36:01,607 --> 00:36:03,479
Poppy!
506
00:36:06,023 --> 00:36:07,481
Furber!
507
00:36:11,732 --> 00:36:15,263
Oh, it's you, Madam. I'm sorry.
Can I get you anything?
508
00:36:15,399 --> 00:36:19,143
A shovel.
-Shovel. Of course.
509
00:36:19,857 --> 00:36:22,392
Go and get Philip a hot toddy.
510
00:36:22,523 --> 00:36:28,769
Philip. You look so... so... so...
- The suspense is killing me.
511
00:36:28,898 --> 00:36:30,475
Poppy!
512
00:36:31,190 --> 00:36:33,761
Oh... sorry.
-It's fine.
513
00:36:42,315 --> 00:36:44,934
Your brother is such
a sharply honed twit.
514
00:36:47,607 --> 00:36:52,228
Where's our beautiful cougar hiding?
-Under a book, I expect.
515
00:36:52,357 --> 00:36:55,059
I wish she wouldn't slack indoors
so much.
516
00:36:55,190 --> 00:36:58,851
Some people would kill
to be indoors with Larita.
517
00:36:58,982 --> 00:37:01,056
She isn't built the same as us.
518
00:37:01,190 --> 00:37:03,145
Still, it is annoying, though.
519
00:37:03,273 --> 00:37:06,106
You're such a sport,
always ready for anything.
520
00:37:06,232 --> 00:37:12,181
I haven't got Lari's beauty
or charm or intelligence.
521
00:37:12,315 --> 00:37:15,017
She is clever, isn't she?
-Hmm...
522
00:37:15,148 --> 00:37:18,596
Clever... and bored.
523
00:37:18,732 --> 00:37:23,472
I don't understand it. I'm not bored,
you're not bored, nobody else is bored.
524
00:37:23,607 --> 00:37:26,225
Your father is, out of his mind.
525
00:37:26,357 --> 00:37:28,264
Father was born bored.
526
00:37:29,232 --> 00:37:31,685
If only she made an effort to play along.
527
00:37:31,815 --> 00:37:34,386
Stop being so torturous, Panda.
528
00:37:34,523 --> 00:37:37,059
You had her playing charades last night.
What more do you want?
529
00:37:37,190 --> 00:37:40,223
John! John?
530
00:37:45,273 --> 00:37:49,682
To tell the truth, I never really liked her.
Crabby, snappy, little bitch...
531
00:37:50,690 --> 00:37:53,807
I didn't like the dog much, either.
-
532
00:37:55,898 --> 00:37:59,311
Poor Poppy. Casualty of war.
533
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,893
If I may be so bold, Madam?
534
00:38:05,023 --> 00:38:09,231
These people ride horses.
Lots of horses.
535
00:38:09,357 --> 00:38:12,271
It would be advantageous
to do the same.
536
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,438
And I thought Detroit was a tough town.
537
00:38:20,357 --> 00:38:27,432
# You do something to me
538
00:38:28,523 --> 00:38:35,433
# Something that simply
mystifies me... #
539
00:38:39,107 --> 00:38:41,595
Oh, has your horse run out of gas?
540
00:38:50,857 --> 00:38:53,013
Oh, John, don't hurt it.
541
00:38:53,148 --> 00:38:58,185
Far from it. We've got a hunt coming up.
Poor little mite needs a head start.
542
00:38:59,857 --> 00:39:01,812
Go on... run!
543
00:39:04,857 --> 00:39:08,436
So much to learn about each other.
544
00:39:10,190 --> 00:39:15,013
My curriculum vitae. The brook
is the border of Sarah's property.
545
00:39:15,148 --> 00:39:19,438
Mother always imagined
we'd join forces and invade Surrey.
546
00:39:21,648 --> 00:39:25,263
Oh, and how about
those foot soldiers on high?
547
00:39:25,398 --> 00:39:29,723
That's Davis, Lord Hurst's man.
And there's Lord Hurst...
548
00:39:29,857 --> 00:39:32,096
Closely followed by my mother-in-law.
549
00:39:32,232 --> 00:39:35,016
I wonder what the devil
they're surveying?
550
00:39:37,898 --> 00:39:41,228
Are you disappointed
you didn't marry Sarah?
551
00:39:41,357 --> 00:39:45,137
Of course not. We've seen each other
naked since we were one.
552
00:39:45,273 --> 00:39:48,520
She's part of the... the... the...
scenery.
553
00:39:49,815 --> 00:39:52,351
You can hack it a little while longer,
can't you?
554
00:39:52,482 --> 00:39:56,689
How long is a little?
And don't say two weeks again.
555
00:39:56,815 --> 00:40:00,394
Well, there's the War Widows' Revue,
the craft fair...
556
00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:02,146
... the hunt.
557
00:40:02,273 --> 00:40:06,053
The memorial service...
-What memorial service?
558
00:40:07,940 --> 00:40:11,353
Friends, we are gathered here today
559
00:40:11,482 --> 00:40:15,476
in remembrance
of our missing friend, Poppy.
560
00:40:15,607 --> 00:40:17,396
Oh, Poppy...
561
00:40:18,398 --> 00:40:21,978
Wherever you have chosen
to sow your seeds,
562
00:40:22,107 --> 00:40:24,773
we pray that you are blooming.
563
00:40:24,898 --> 00:40:27,565
We pray that you have gone
to a better place.
564
00:40:27,690 --> 00:40:31,186
Shame we don't know
exactly where that place is...
565
00:40:31,315 --> 00:40:34,846
Anyway, now for a eulogy
from Emily Dickinson, queen of mirth.
566
00:40:37,065 --> 00:40:41,888
"Because I could not stop for death,
he kindly stopped for me.
567
00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:45,934
"The carriage held but just ourselves
and immortality. "
568
00:40:46,065 --> 00:40:50,852
Or maybe the carriage didn't stop
and Poppy got squished.
569
00:40:50,982 --> 00:40:53,435
Scraped off the road
and put in a sausage...
570
00:40:53,565 --> 00:40:56,397
- Oh, Hilda!
571
00:41:04,607 --> 00:41:06,893
Thank you, Mr Gribble.
572
00:41:07,648 --> 00:41:11,227
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
573
00:41:11,357 --> 00:41:15,848
behold Reverend Burton
and Marion Whittaker
574
00:41:15,982 --> 00:41:21,137
as they reach for the scissors
in "Samson and Delilah".
575
00:41:32,773 --> 00:41:35,937
Hark! I hear my husband snore!
576
00:41:37,190 --> 00:41:41,563
What the hell happened to Delilah?
Looks like a sock full of oranges.
577
00:41:41,690 --> 00:41:47,971
I'll creep forth on padded foot
and relieve him of his ample follicles.
578
00:42:11,648 --> 00:42:14,979
How hilarious!
-It's meant to be a tragedy!
579
00:42:15,107 --> 00:42:17,512
Then you succeeded
beyond your wildest dreams.
580
00:42:17,648 --> 00:42:20,563
Your father seems
to have a fan.
581
00:42:20,690 --> 00:42:24,056
Don't read too much into it. She was
a godsend during mother's last months.
582
00:42:24,190 --> 00:42:26,939
Sometimes I wonder where they'd be
without each other.
583
00:42:27,065 --> 00:42:29,554
My ample follicles are in dire need
of a trim.
584
00:42:31,940 --> 00:42:35,685
I wouldn't taunt the artistes,
my little dying swans. You're on next.
585
00:42:35,815 --> 00:42:39,643
I've encouraged my girls to undertake
something a little more contemporary.
586
00:42:39,773 --> 00:42:42,558
Hilda and I seem to have a talent
for the can-can.
587
00:42:42,690 --> 00:42:45,688
The traditional can-can,
performed without underwear?
588
00:42:45,815 --> 00:42:49,263
Oh, Philip!
-Anything for you, Philip.
589
00:42:49,398 --> 00:42:51,105
Yes, anything.
590
00:42:51,232 --> 00:42:54,100
That'll raise a bit more than money
for the war widows.
591
00:42:54,232 --> 00:42:57,680
I'm doubling my donation.
-Oh, Pinkie.
592
00:42:57,815 --> 00:43:00,102
Fans at the ready, gentlemen!
593
00:43:00,232 --> 00:43:03,348
All the way from gay Paris,
594
00:43:03,482 --> 00:43:06,396
I give you Miss Hilda Whittaker
595
00:43:06,523 --> 00:43:11,643
and, for her debut performance,
Mrs John Whittaker
596
00:43:11,773 --> 00:43:14,937
doing 'The Can-Can'!
597
00:43:15,065 --> 00:43:17,020
Ooh!
598
00:43:21,523 --> 00:43:23,644
Ooh!
599
00:43:36,857 --> 00:43:39,262
Did... did you?
-
600
00:43:41,898 --> 00:43:46,888
Is it my imagination, or is your daughter
dancing without her scanties?
601
00:44:10,315 --> 00:44:11,689
-Ow!
602
00:44:24,190 --> 00:44:25,980
Bravo!
603
00:44:44,398 --> 00:44:48,179
It's not Lari's fault.
She said it was traditional!
604
00:44:48,315 --> 00:44:50,638
Philip said it, not Larita.
And it was a joke.
605
00:44:50,773 --> 00:44:53,060
Everyone understood that
except Nelly No Knickers here!
606
00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:56,970
Hilda isn't as experienced
as your wife, John. No one is.
607
00:44:57,107 --> 00:45:00,307
If you're not prepared to have a straight
talk to her, then I certainly am.
608
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,477
Don't be ridiculous.
You'll lose a finger.
609
00:45:02,607 --> 00:45:06,849
Lord Hurst will never speak to me.
-Rubbish. I saw you in the back fields.
610
00:45:06,982 --> 00:45:09,731
Preparing the jumps for the hunt!
611
00:45:09,857 --> 00:45:13,602
I'm completely humiliated!
I'll never get a husband now!
612
00:45:13,732 --> 00:45:16,137
After tonight, I'd have thought
they'll be lining up round the block.
613
00:45:16,273 --> 00:45:19,437
I hate her! Hate, hate, hate her!
614
00:45:21,190 --> 00:45:24,556
The advance notices
are sensational, Mrs John.
615
00:45:34,982 --> 00:45:39,769
Is it my imagination or is the cutlery
particularly deafening this evening?
616
00:45:39,898 --> 00:45:43,762
I don't know how many times
I have to say this, Hilda. I am sorry.
617
00:45:43,898 --> 00:45:48,390
That's easy for you to say.
-It's surprisingly hard to be easy.
618
00:45:49,815 --> 00:45:53,678
You're smiling, Jim.
-God forbid, the wind might change.
619
00:45:56,398 --> 00:45:59,978
Hilda, if I had any inkling that you
were going to take me seriously...
620
00:46:00,107 --> 00:46:02,346
You could have made an effort
to enjoy it less.
621
00:46:02,482 --> 00:46:06,061
I had my underpants on.
I was having a grand time.
622
00:46:07,357 --> 00:46:12,559
It's not fair! You've got two husbands,
and I've had none.
623
00:46:12,690 --> 00:46:15,605
Technically, I have one.
-But you've had two.
624
00:46:15,732 --> 00:46:18,185
I've had two shoes
and it's a great deal more practical.
625
00:46:18,315 --> 00:46:21,846
I dare say you've worn down
more soles than that.
626
00:46:24,857 --> 00:46:26,847
John...
627
00:46:26,982 --> 00:46:30,561
Marion, Larita's first husband died
of cancer. Stop being so callous.
628
00:46:30,690 --> 00:46:33,357
Oh, I'm sure Marion
can appreciate the pain
629
00:46:33,482 --> 00:46:36,266
of watching a loved one
slip through her fingers.
630
00:46:36,398 --> 00:46:38,389
She's scandalous!
631
00:46:39,732 --> 00:46:42,600
You should hear what they're saying
about her in the village.
632
00:46:42,732 --> 00:46:44,971
Well, let's stop the wagging tongues,
shall we?
633
00:46:45,107 --> 00:46:48,555
Is it true you've had
as many lovers as they say?
634
00:46:51,023 --> 00:46:54,223
Of course it's not true, Mrs Whittaker.
635
00:46:54,357 --> 00:46:57,308
Hardly any of them actually loved me.
636
00:46:59,982 --> 00:47:03,182
That was uncalled for.
I realise it was a joke, but still...
637
00:47:03,315 --> 00:47:07,474
You threw me to the wolves in there.
-Marion hardly constitutes wolves.
638
00:47:07,607 --> 00:47:11,647
All right, you threw me to the voles.
Either way, you abandoned me.
639
00:47:11,773 --> 00:47:14,060
Your sisters need to be restrained.
640
00:47:14,190 --> 00:47:18,563
Restrained? Hilda breaks loose once
and she's almost institutionalised.
641
00:47:18,690 --> 00:47:21,474
And poor old Marion...
Edgar drops by for a cup of sugar,
642
00:47:21,607 --> 00:47:24,012
and mother has his name
engraved on the family crypt.
643
00:47:24,148 --> 00:47:26,815
I'm sorry but it really is very funny.
-Hilarious!
644
00:47:26,940 --> 00:47:29,180
Welcome to the petrified circus.
645
00:47:29,315 --> 00:47:32,728
Meet the resident contortionist
who can't bend any further.
646
00:47:32,857 --> 00:47:36,981
Then stop. Be yourself.
Let them live in your spell.
647
00:47:37,107 --> 00:47:42,060
# You do that voodoo
that you do so well... #
648
00:47:42,190 --> 00:47:46,515
You're right, of course. I'm a hypocrite,
pretending to be someone I'm not.
649
00:47:46,648 --> 00:47:49,481
Especially since it isn't working.
650
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:53,971
What the devil has that dog dug up?
651
00:47:56,982 --> 00:47:59,056
Pilot, what have you got there?
652
00:48:00,815 --> 00:48:03,185
How could you not tell us?
653
00:48:03,315 --> 00:48:06,763
Marion, it was an accident.
I am walking on eggshells here.
654
00:48:06,898 --> 00:48:11,520
And I believe I panicked.
And once again, I'm very, very sorry.
655
00:48:11,648 --> 00:48:14,979
-How could you do it? How could you?
656
00:48:15,107 --> 00:48:19,930
I imagine she lowered her full weight
onto the Chihuahua beneath her.
657
00:48:21,815 --> 00:48:23,889
Marion, please.
658
00:48:24,023 --> 00:48:27,187
John, did you have anything
to do with this?
659
00:48:27,315 --> 00:48:31,225
No. No, I was the sole perpetrator
of Poppy's demise.
660
00:48:31,357 --> 00:48:34,308
And ever since
I have been wracked with guilt.
661
00:48:34,815 --> 00:48:38,809
Please, please, please
let me buy you a new dog.
662
00:48:40,023 --> 00:48:43,057
You might buy your loved ones
in the United States,
663
00:48:43,190 --> 00:48:45,476
but you can't in the United Kingdom.
664
00:48:45,607 --> 00:48:46,934
How unfortunate.
665
00:48:47,065 --> 00:48:50,845
You could at least show some remorse.
666
00:48:50,982 --> 00:48:55,473
I am full of remorse. I just refuse
to invest in amateur theatrics
667
00:48:55,607 --> 00:48:57,229
to convince you of my sincerity.
668
00:48:57,357 --> 00:49:00,557
That's not how I came off
the assembly line. I'm sorry.
669
00:49:00,690 --> 00:49:02,396
I can't change.
670
00:49:02,523 --> 00:49:06,848
Not for you...
not for anybody... any more.
671
00:49:09,857 --> 00:49:13,518
And I wouldn't want her
any other way. So...
672
00:49:16,815 --> 00:49:21,638
Madam, the dog.
-Oh, stay back! Stay back!
673
00:49:23,023 --> 00:49:27,894
I knew it the second
I laid eyes on her. She's a killer.
674
00:49:28,023 --> 00:49:30,180
She sat on poor Poppy deliberately.
675
00:49:30,315 --> 00:49:33,017
Don't be ridiculous.
Of course she didn't.
676
00:49:33,148 --> 00:49:37,557
My brother has married a dog murderer.
She should be put down.
677
00:49:37,690 --> 00:49:39,597
Put through a divorce court.
678
00:49:39,732 --> 00:49:41,604
The Lord does not
sanction divorce.
679
00:49:41,732 --> 00:49:45,097
The Lord is Almighty, Marion.
He can sanction anything he likes.
680
00:49:45,232 --> 00:49:47,139
The sooner they move out
the better.
681
00:49:47,273 --> 00:49:50,970
They move out?
John isn't going anywhere.
682
00:49:51,107 --> 00:49:52,932
Watch and learn.
683
00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:01,722
It's so unfair.
Why can't I have a room like this?
684
00:50:04,940 --> 00:50:08,270
I could die of envy!
685
00:50:08,398 --> 00:50:10,851
Laying to rest this tragic incident,
686
00:50:10,982 --> 00:50:14,892
we've had this splendid set of rooms
made over for you, haven't we, Jim?
687
00:50:15,023 --> 00:50:18,223
Yes. My wife would like you
to rest in peace.
688
00:50:18,357 --> 00:50:22,397
I even had an old friend of Johnnie's
brought down from the attic.
689
00:50:22,523 --> 00:50:25,142
"Old Faithful Awaits
His Master's Return".
690
00:50:25,273 --> 00:50:28,188
I used to sleep under
that silly painting.
691
00:50:28,315 --> 00:50:31,147
Very comforting, I'm sure,
but we're expected back in Mayfair.
692
00:50:31,273 --> 00:50:34,141
But these are the largest rooms
in the house.
693
00:50:34,273 --> 00:50:36,347
You'll find nothing like it in London.
694
00:50:36,482 --> 00:50:38,556
She has a point.
- She always does.
695
00:50:38,690 --> 00:50:41,853
Sometimes I don't know
why you ever did wander home.
696
00:50:41,982 --> 00:50:43,522
And miss all the fun?
697
00:50:44,148 --> 00:50:46,815
Cook would like to inform you,
Mrs Whittaker, the bird is stuffed.
698
00:50:46,940 --> 00:50:48,730
Oh!
699
00:50:48,857 --> 00:50:50,931
What bird, hmm?
700
00:50:51,065 --> 00:50:53,980
Thursday is bubble and squeak.
I hadn't made any arrangements.
701
00:50:54,107 --> 00:50:56,144
Oh, but I have!
702
00:51:01,607 --> 00:51:05,731
In appreciation of your understanding
and for that delicious double bed.
703
00:51:05,857 --> 00:51:08,725
We'll think of you every time we use it.
704
00:51:15,940 --> 00:51:19,140
What exactly are we celebrating?
-Thanksgiving.
705
00:51:19,273 --> 00:51:21,311
Thanks for what, hmm?
706
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:25,019
The annihilation
of an entire indigenous people.
707
00:51:25,148 --> 00:51:28,063
A loving union of two great cultures.
708
00:51:28,190 --> 00:51:31,188
Just like us.
-How transcontinental.
709
00:51:31,315 --> 00:51:34,396
I can't believe you got into the kitchen.
-Beatrice did put up a fight.
710
00:51:34,523 --> 00:51:37,770
But technically I outrank her.
-Who's Beatrice?
711
00:51:37,898 --> 00:51:43,314
Your cook. Or now my undercook,
since I'm qualified cordon bleu.
712
00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:45,596
That's a degree.
713
00:51:45,732 --> 00:51:50,306
Furber... take the vegetables down to
the kitchen and tell Cook to cook them.
714
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:54,932
No, Furber, thank you.
I think I'll surprise my alimentary canal.
715
00:51:56,107 --> 00:51:59,603
Mother, if you don't mind, I'm going
to eat my meal before it gets cold.
716
00:51:59,732 --> 00:52:01,769
Furber, I've changed my mind,
bring it back!
717
00:52:01,898 --> 00:52:03,012
Me, too.
718
00:52:04,982 --> 00:52:07,056
Gobble, gobble!
719
00:52:12,315 --> 00:52:13,772
Yes!
720
00:52:17,732 --> 00:52:19,355
Here's a tip, Hilda.
721
00:52:19,482 --> 00:52:22,930
A sure way to a man's heart is
through his stomach. Or his mother.
722
00:52:23,065 --> 00:52:27,438
Larita, look, I've found
another likeness of Edgar.
723
00:52:27,565 --> 00:52:31,226
Marion, this is Fatty Arbuckle.
-Who's in jail, I know that.
724
00:52:31,357 --> 00:52:34,687
But if you cut out his cheeks
and give him a bald patch,
725
00:52:34,815 --> 00:52:37,303
there's a striking resemblance...
726
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:40,355
Edgar's away on a trip
across the pond,
727
00:52:40,482 --> 00:52:43,433
sewing his wild oats,
or something agricultural.
728
00:52:45,023 --> 00:52:48,969
She's good, I'll give her that.
-I think you're over-reacting.
729
00:52:55,690 --> 00:52:58,261
Lari? Lari!
730
00:52:59,273 --> 00:53:01,940
Not the vase! Not the vase!
731
00:53:02,065 --> 00:53:05,477
"Taking the corncockle buds
and bee-kissed roses
732
00:53:05,607 --> 00:53:07,681
"roughly in his calloused hands,
733
00:53:07,815 --> 00:53:13,314
"his hot, moist tulip exploded
in her river of delights... "
734
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:26,395
Larita?
735
00:53:26,523 --> 00:53:28,644
Early Christmas present...
736
00:53:28,773 --> 00:53:32,020
For you, darling.
-Ooh, the mind boggles.
737
00:53:39,857 --> 00:53:41,314
Well, it's... it's...
738
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:43,431
It's magnificent.
It's monstrous!
739
00:53:43,565 --> 00:53:48,103
It's me. I posed for a young Spaniard.
Don't you absolutely adore it?
740
00:53:48,232 --> 00:53:51,348
Very expressive, darling,
but I can't quite see you in it.
741
00:53:51,482 --> 00:53:53,022
You can see
everything else!
742
00:53:53,148 --> 00:53:55,897
You took your clothes off
in front of a total stranger?
743
00:53:56,023 --> 00:53:59,887
Of course she took her clothes off.
- I think it's unholy.
744
00:54:00,023 --> 00:54:05,522
I'm not sure I approve of you being nude.
You know, without... without me.
745
00:54:05,648 --> 00:54:07,106
Extraordinary.
746
00:54:08,273 --> 00:54:11,141
What exactly are you
hoping to achieve?
747
00:54:11,273 --> 00:54:14,058
Just trying to get into the swing
of things... Mother.
748
00:54:14,190 --> 00:54:20,020
Marvellous! Well, then, you'll be riding
in the hunt with us, won't you?
749
00:54:20,148 --> 00:54:23,182
I might be persuaded
if the painting stays.
750
00:54:23,315 --> 00:54:25,057
Hunt.
-Paint.
751
00:54:25,190 --> 00:54:26,932
Hunt.
-Paint.
752
00:54:27,065 --> 00:54:28,558
Hunt!
753
00:54:28,690 --> 00:54:30,348
Very well.
754
00:54:32,315 --> 00:54:33,808
Hunt.
755
00:54:39,607 --> 00:54:41,432
View, hello.
756
00:54:44,690 --> 00:54:48,387
Hello, everyone.
Good to see you. Richard.
757
00:54:48,523 --> 00:54:51,936
Morning, Jim!
After generations of false starts,
758
00:54:52,065 --> 00:54:54,684
we've finally managed
to combine our cavalry.
759
00:54:54,815 --> 00:54:57,517
Congratulations.
A marriage of minor convenience.
760
00:54:57,648 --> 00:54:59,473
You'll be fine, I promise.
761
00:54:59,607 --> 00:55:04,264
The second you have the Holborough
boy's eye, flirt outrageously.
762
00:55:04,398 --> 00:55:07,101
But Warwick Holborough has ears
like the Cambridge Cup!
763
00:55:07,232 --> 00:55:12,434
And Philip's the prize. Now, if you want
a man's attention... ignore him.
764
00:55:19,648 --> 00:55:22,895
Warwick the Wingnut
and Sausage Fingers?
765
00:55:23,023 --> 00:55:27,266
What a handsome couple.
They'll have puppies not children.
766
00:55:29,232 --> 00:55:33,095
Wait... there's something I need to say.
767
00:55:34,232 --> 00:55:37,597
I see you... you're wasted here.
768
00:55:37,732 --> 00:55:41,560
When the time comes... give me a ring.
769
00:55:41,690 --> 00:55:44,641
If I could find your neck, I'd wring it.
770
00:55:44,773 --> 00:55:48,684
Larita's making sheep's eyes at Philip.
-She's a Venus de Flytrap!
771
00:55:48,815 --> 00:55:52,939
She wants him all to herself.
-She's not interested in Philip.
772
00:55:53,065 --> 00:55:55,435
Nobody's interested in Philip.
- I am!
773
00:55:56,398 --> 00:55:58,140
Mount up, Larita.
774
00:55:58,273 --> 00:56:02,184
If you don't mind, I think
I might give the fox a head start.
775
00:56:02,315 --> 00:56:05,229
Lari, get on the pony, please.
776
00:56:05,815 --> 00:56:07,971
Oh, it's just as I thought...
777
00:56:08,107 --> 00:56:11,555
Oh, I said I'd ride,
and I'm always good for my word.
778
00:56:12,565 --> 00:56:13,809
Tally-ho!
779
00:56:29,732 --> 00:56:33,677
# Spy on me, baby, use satellite
780
00:56:33,815 --> 00:56:37,855
# Infrared to see me
move through the night
781
00:56:37,982 --> 00:56:41,477
# Aim, going to fire, shoot me right
782
00:56:41,607 --> 00:56:45,517
# I'm going to like the way you fight
783
00:56:45,648 --> 00:56:49,724
# Now you've found
the secret code I use
784
00:56:49,857 --> 00:56:53,685
# To wash away my lonely blues
785
00:56:53,815 --> 00:57:00,179
# So I can't deny or lie
cos you're the only one to make me fly
786
00:57:01,357 --> 00:57:05,646
# Sex bomb, sex bomb,
you're a sex bomb
787
00:57:05,773 --> 00:57:09,055
# You can give it to me
when I need to come along...
788
00:57:09,190 --> 00:57:11,595
-What?
789
00:57:11,732 --> 00:57:14,018
# You're my sex bomb... #
790
00:57:14,148 --> 00:57:17,478
What is she doing?
-A victory lap, by the look of things.
791
00:57:18,523 --> 00:57:22,054
There's something wild about that child
that's so contagious.
792
00:57:25,482 --> 00:57:27,638
Whoo-hoo!
793
00:57:30,857 --> 00:57:34,897
Well, she promised she'd ride.
Ha-ha!
794
00:57:44,148 --> 00:57:47,763
#... no chaperone
can get our number
795
00:57:47,898 --> 00:57:52,935
# The world's in a slumber,
let's misbehave!
796
00:57:53,065 --> 00:57:57,852
# There's something wild
about you, child, that's so contagious
797
00:57:57,982 --> 00:58:03,102
# Let's be outrageous,
let's misbehave!
798
00:58:03,232 --> 00:58:07,972
# When Adam won Eve's hand,
he wouldn't stand for teasin'
799
00:58:08,107 --> 00:58:12,930
# He didn't care about those apples
out of season
800
00:58:13,065 --> 00:58:17,971
# They say that Spring means
just one little thing to little lovebirds
801
00:58:18,107 --> 00:58:23,688
# We're not above birds,
let's misbehave... #
802
00:58:29,982 --> 00:58:31,558
Whoo!
803
00:58:42,023 --> 00:58:44,690
Miss Hilda,
telephone from New York.
804
00:58:52,273 --> 00:58:53,766
Uncle George?
805
00:58:53,898 --> 00:58:56,766
Oh, thank God, a friendly voice.
806
00:58:56,898 --> 00:59:00,015
Yes, and she's a complete nightmare.
807
00:59:02,773 --> 00:59:04,764
Really?
808
00:59:04,898 --> 00:59:07,103
How salacious.
809
00:59:09,482 --> 00:59:11,354
Come in.
810
00:59:12,273 --> 00:59:13,731
Mother?
811
00:59:15,107 --> 00:59:18,354
I'd like to apologise
for today's schmozzle.
812
00:59:18,482 --> 00:59:20,768
That really won't be necessary.
813
00:59:20,898 --> 00:59:24,062
Larita made no secret
of her disapproval of blood sports.
814
00:59:24,190 --> 00:59:25,766
She did ride as promised.
815
00:59:25,898 --> 00:59:31,349
Well, we should credit her with her
imaginative way of keeping her word.
816
00:59:31,482 --> 00:59:33,556
You must be very proud of her.
817
00:59:34,607 --> 00:59:37,178
Mother, I think...
818
00:59:37,315 --> 00:59:39,804
I think maybe Larita and I ought to go.
819
00:59:39,940 --> 00:59:42,144
Oh...
820
00:59:42,273 --> 00:59:44,892
Yes, I see. Very well.
821
00:59:45,023 --> 00:59:48,851
Feel free to drop in
whenever it takes your fancy.
822
00:59:48,982 --> 00:59:51,186
Off you go. Enjoy.
-Don't be like that.
823
00:59:51,315 --> 00:59:54,313
I'm sorry, dear,
wasn't Mummy being kind enough?
824
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:56,929
Take these, they might get you
as far as Constantinople!
825
00:59:57,065 --> 00:59:59,732
And this... Casablanca.
-Mother, stop it!
826
00:59:59,857 --> 01:00:01,729
No. You stop it!
827
01:00:03,107 --> 01:00:05,181
Stop being so naïve!
828
01:00:12,065 --> 01:00:14,554
The money's gone, John.
829
01:00:14,690 --> 01:00:16,645
Nothing left.
830
01:00:16,773 --> 01:00:19,973
The only thing standing
between this family and bankruptcy
831
01:00:20,107 --> 01:00:22,595
are those surveyors in the back field.
832
01:00:24,357 --> 01:00:29,974
Lord Hurst is offering to buy 400 acres
to keep the bailiffs away.
833
01:00:31,565 --> 01:00:36,021
It's your legacy, John Whittaker...
and I'm selling it.
834
01:00:40,607 --> 01:00:45,264
I had no idea.
-No... No, you don't.
835
01:00:50,148 --> 01:00:54,356
You were supposed to take over
the estate, take your responsibilities.
836
01:00:54,482 --> 01:00:57,479
But you were unexpectedly
flagged down.
837
01:00:59,190 --> 01:01:02,271
I've been struggling for years
with a man who doesn't care,
838
01:01:02,398 --> 01:01:04,603
waiting for you to step up to the mark.
839
01:01:07,107 --> 01:01:10,223
No. You just go.
840
01:01:10,357 --> 01:01:13,722
Go to Algiers
with your racing car driver.
841
01:01:13,857 --> 01:01:16,523
I'm too tired to care any more!
842
01:01:18,690 --> 01:01:22,387
It's not exactly surprising,
John. Look at the grounds.
843
01:01:22,523 --> 01:01:26,980
Your mother is being very practical.
-In what sense?
844
01:01:27,107 --> 01:01:30,472
You're not coming back.
Your father moved out decades ago.
845
01:01:30,607 --> 01:01:34,601
Philip's not going to marry Hilda.
Nobody's going to marry Marion.
846
01:01:34,732 --> 01:01:38,772
Subdividing the land and selling
to a neighbour is an elegant solution.
847
01:01:38,898 --> 01:01:40,557
Somewhat harsh.
848
01:01:42,065 --> 01:01:44,767
I've had my fair share
of selling off my past,
849
01:01:44,898 --> 01:01:49,022
and it is an auction of innocence
that's neither fun nor pretty,
850
01:01:49,148 --> 01:01:52,561
but it is realistic,
something your mother excels in.
851
01:01:52,690 --> 01:01:55,392
But it's my responsibility.
852
01:01:56,815 --> 01:01:59,979
Gracious, how can I have been so blind?
853
01:02:38,357 --> 01:02:41,769
Oh, winter hydrangeas!
How do you do it?
854
01:02:41,898 --> 01:02:46,686
It's a controlled mixture of passion,
persistence and horse manure.
855
01:02:49,398 --> 01:02:52,811
I was hoping to catch a glimpse
of the new bride.
856
01:02:52,940 --> 01:02:56,436
Ah! John's wife has
very fickle allergies.
857
01:02:56,565 --> 01:03:01,187
Allergies to what?
-Flowers, Emma. Can you believe it?
858
01:03:01,315 --> 01:03:04,478
That is a strange choice of bed fellow
for this neck of the woods.
859
01:03:04,607 --> 01:03:07,937
You'll just have to make do
with John and Sarah.
860
01:03:08,065 --> 01:03:10,554
It'll be like old times.
861
01:03:10,690 --> 01:03:16,224
# When you're smiling,
the whole world smiles... #
862
01:03:17,898 --> 01:03:20,221
Why the big Panda eyes?
863
01:03:22,065 --> 01:03:24,849
I've often meant to ask you something,
but I hadn't the courage.
864
01:03:24,982 --> 01:03:27,055
Well, don't then.
865
01:03:27,190 --> 01:03:31,479
Did you think I behaved like a cad,
marrying Larita without telling you?
866
01:03:31,607 --> 01:03:33,597
No, of course not.
867
01:03:33,732 --> 01:03:37,393
You took the opportunity and married
for love. I respect you for it.
868
01:03:37,523 --> 01:03:40,889
If we'd have married it would've been
for friendship and convenience.
869
01:03:41,023 --> 01:03:43,144
Would it?
-Yes!
870
01:03:43,273 --> 01:03:45,762
We knew one another far too well.
871
01:03:45,898 --> 01:03:51,847
I want my marriage to be thrilling,
romantic, with passionate love letters.
872
01:03:51,982 --> 01:03:55,643
I could've written you love letters.
-Well, you didn't, did you?
873
01:03:55,773 --> 01:03:57,847
I did love you all the same.
874
01:03:59,232 --> 01:04:00,641
John, stop it.
875
01:04:09,773 --> 01:04:12,771
He's very different
from the man I met in France.
876
01:04:14,148 --> 01:04:18,640
The boy. The same, sweet boy.
877
01:04:22,607 --> 01:04:27,145
Is it true what she says?
Are you really selling off the land?
878
01:04:28,732 --> 01:04:32,476
To be perfectly honest,
I haven't the faintest idea.
879
01:04:34,940 --> 01:04:37,724
But it's your home, it's your community.
880
01:04:38,940 --> 01:04:40,812
Doesn't that matter?
881
01:04:40,940 --> 01:04:42,516
No.
882
01:04:44,315 --> 01:04:46,436
You're a dark horse.
883
01:04:49,023 --> 01:04:53,930
Have you noticed how few men
of my age there are in this village?
884
01:04:54,065 --> 01:04:57,182
Fourteen years ago,
we all took the King's shilling.
885
01:04:57,315 --> 01:05:00,099
We all signed up together.
886
01:05:00,232 --> 01:05:05,185
My brother, friends, staff...
887
01:05:06,648 --> 01:05:11,389
All hunkered down in the front row
of The Great War.
888
01:05:12,732 --> 01:05:16,311
I thought they kept majors
safely behind desks?
889
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:18,727
Promotion for surviving.
890
01:05:20,565 --> 01:05:24,890
As captain, it was my job
to get them all out of the trenches.
891
01:05:25,023 --> 01:05:29,183
Within the first four minutes
of our first charge...
892
01:05:31,315 --> 01:05:33,471
... 20,000 men died.
893
01:05:38,857 --> 01:05:41,262
In Thorverton, down the road here...
894
01:05:42,398 --> 01:05:44,851
... they were stationed in Morocco.
895
01:05:45,773 --> 01:05:48,262
Their captain bought them all home.
896
01:05:54,190 --> 01:05:57,188
I didn't bring a single man back.
897
01:05:58,023 --> 01:06:00,144
This whole village died.
898
01:06:01,107 --> 01:06:04,519
I think there's a glimmer
of life in you yet.
899
01:06:04,648 --> 01:06:09,471
Well, if there is, it has no time for
pet cemeteries and Japanese lanterns.
900
01:06:09,607 --> 01:06:13,054
Why did you come back?
-I had no choice.
901
01:06:16,565 --> 01:06:20,724
Bonjour, Madame.
Qu'est-ce que vous voulez?
902
01:06:29,607 --> 01:06:31,930
'She came for you? '
903
01:06:33,523 --> 01:06:34,933
Why the lie?
904
01:06:35,065 --> 01:06:38,596
She thought "wandering home"
sounded better.
905
01:06:41,232 --> 01:06:43,898
And to be perfectly frank,
I no longer cared.
906
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:54,144
I hate new games. There are
too many balls, I can't sink anything.
907
01:06:54,273 --> 01:06:58,349
Sink some gin, Sausage Fingers!
- I never, ever win.
908
01:06:58,482 --> 01:07:00,472
Oh, well done!
909
01:07:06,607 --> 01:07:10,221
Stop sucking it. Come and help.
Come on, Pops.
910
01:07:10,357 --> 01:07:13,687
All right, Missie,
hold your horses.
911
01:07:13,815 --> 01:07:16,220
Right, clear the decks, puppies.
912
01:07:16,357 --> 01:07:18,182
May I?
913
01:07:25,523 --> 01:07:28,012
I was hoping to have a word.
914
01:07:28,148 --> 01:07:32,308
We're accentuating the positive today,
I don't have a mind for anything else.
915
01:07:32,440 --> 01:07:34,395
Of course... of course.
916
01:07:35,898 --> 01:07:38,565
I know you are
under considerable stress...
917
01:07:40,357 --> 01:07:42,228
Regarding what?
918
01:07:43,898 --> 01:07:47,311
Lord Hurst's kind offer
to buy into your property.
919
01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:51,434
The realtor I'm dealing with in London
also specialises in subdivision.
920
01:07:51,565 --> 01:07:56,057
Perhaps he could help negotiate
a premium price.
921
01:07:56,190 --> 01:07:59,721
Thank you, but really this is
of no concern of yours.
922
01:07:59,857 --> 01:08:04,099
Of course it's a concern. I am a member
of this family now and I'd like to help.
923
01:08:04,232 --> 01:08:07,395
And this is your interpretation
of "help", is it?
924
01:08:07,523 --> 01:08:10,889
Carving up our heritage and selling
it off to the highest bidder?
925
01:08:11,023 --> 01:08:13,594
Coming from a country no older
than the chair you are sitting in,
926
01:08:13,732 --> 01:08:15,769
it seems a very practical solution.
927
01:08:15,898 --> 01:08:18,517
Just forget the seven
generations of people
928
01:08:18,648 --> 01:08:22,393
who have devoted their entire lives
to farming this land.
929
01:08:22,523 --> 01:08:25,687
Get someone else to do it.
With a machine, no less.
930
01:08:26,732 --> 01:08:28,806
Who do you think you are?
931
01:08:30,023 --> 01:08:33,804
Swinging your wherewithal
like a cat on heat.
932
01:08:35,273 --> 01:08:38,769
If you really want to be
of assistance, Larita,
933
01:08:38,898 --> 01:08:41,469
I think you know what's required.
934
01:08:43,607 --> 01:08:45,644
Right...
935
01:08:45,773 --> 01:08:49,602
I think it's time an expert showed you
how this game is played.
936
01:08:49,732 --> 01:08:51,722
Watch it...
937
01:08:51,857 --> 01:08:53,314
Bravo!
938
01:08:54,732 --> 01:08:58,677
What a sportswoman, I must say.
Can you imagine? Fantastic!
939
01:09:00,857 --> 01:09:02,931
'Lari, you're confusing me. '
940
01:09:03,065 --> 01:09:06,063
'I'm feeling trapped. '
-'I don't understand. '
941
01:09:06,190 --> 01:09:09,354
It's this house!
It has an air of doom hanging over it.
942
01:09:09,482 --> 01:09:12,598
And I can barely stand the weight
much longer.
943
01:09:18,273 --> 01:09:21,141
The answer is to go abroad again.
944
01:09:21,273 --> 01:09:25,847
Not yet. This is my life for now,
you know that.
945
01:09:25,982 --> 01:09:29,228
And what part do I play in it?
-Do you have to be so loud?
946
01:09:29,357 --> 01:09:32,141
Of course I do! I'm American.
947
01:09:37,898 --> 01:09:42,520
What is the use of bickering like this?
It doesn't lead anywhere.
948
01:09:42,648 --> 01:09:45,599
You never know.
It might lead to a natural end.
949
01:09:47,232 --> 01:09:49,353
Do you want it to?
950
01:09:50,482 --> 01:09:52,721
Do you?
951
01:09:52,857 --> 01:09:54,314
No!
952
01:09:55,149 --> 01:09:58,265
I just want some peace and quiet.
953
01:09:58,399 --> 01:10:01,183
You're far too young
to make a remark like that.
954
01:10:01,315 --> 01:10:03,389
I can't help my age...
955
01:10:04,690 --> 01:10:06,598
... Grandma.
956
01:10:09,481 --> 01:10:15,016
Look, I'm sorry that I leave you alone
so much. Honestly, I'm sorry.
957
01:10:17,524 --> 01:10:21,019
Good. Then let's do something about it.
958
01:10:26,399 --> 01:10:28,851
Why are we driving so fast?
959
01:10:28,982 --> 01:10:31,055
The thrill of escape!
960
01:10:35,982 --> 01:10:39,394
You're looking very game today.
Fairest game in the land.
961
01:10:40,940 --> 01:10:42,599
A penny for your thoughts?
962
01:10:42,732 --> 01:10:45,433
It's more than pennies,
I'm afraid, Pinkie.
963
01:10:45,565 --> 01:10:48,018
I don't think I can afford the party
this year.
964
01:10:48,149 --> 01:10:50,767
But the Japanese lanterns!
-No, cancelled.
965
01:10:50,898 --> 01:10:53,766
Had to choose,
Japanese lanterns or the maid.
966
01:10:53,899 --> 01:10:59,136
You're not getting out of it that easily.
My offer of cellar and staff still stands.
967
01:10:59,273 --> 01:11:02,805
It wouldn't be Christmas
without your knees-up.
968
01:11:13,315 --> 01:11:18,814
Oh! This is the first piece of clarity
I've had since arriving. Whoo!
969
01:11:22,440 --> 01:11:26,101
Why can't we live in moments
like these forever?
970
01:11:26,231 --> 01:11:28,103
Why?
971
01:11:28,231 --> 01:11:31,598
Because you've stopped
loving me, my darling!
972
01:11:31,732 --> 01:11:33,769
How can you say that?
973
01:11:33,899 --> 01:11:36,896
Oh, I just open my mouth
and the words come out.
974
01:11:37,815 --> 01:11:40,019
Then let's make a fresh start.
975
01:11:55,399 --> 01:12:00,305
There are so many things I need
to tell you about me. Hard things.
976
01:12:00,440 --> 01:12:02,229
I don't care.
977
01:12:02,357 --> 01:12:04,228
I do.
978
01:12:04,357 --> 01:12:08,730
It doesn't matter.
I trust you absolutely.
979
01:12:09,190 --> 01:12:18,813
# I'll see you again
whenever Spring breaks through again...
980
01:12:18,940 --> 01:12:20,219
Come on.
981
01:12:21,065 --> 01:12:25,355
# Time may lie heavy between
982
01:12:26,190 --> 01:12:33,100
# But what has been
is past forgetting
983
01:12:33,231 --> 01:12:38,221
# This sweet memory
984
01:12:38,357 --> 01:12:44,804
# Throughout my life will come to me
985
01:12:44,940 --> 01:12:49,431
# Though the world may go awry... #
986
01:12:51,940 --> 01:12:53,184
Shot!
987
01:13:01,273 --> 01:13:02,731
John!
988
01:13:06,399 --> 01:13:09,729
Top hole.
-Oh!
989
01:13:09,856 --> 01:13:13,104
I can't decide which is worse,
that you had to sneak outside
990
01:13:13,231 --> 01:13:16,016
to get some privacy,
or that you were caught by Veronica.
991
01:13:16,149 --> 01:13:17,974
Who's Veronica?
992
01:13:18,106 --> 01:13:20,346
I am. It's my name.
993
01:13:23,524 --> 01:13:27,019
I fail to see the humour in it!
-No, darling, you're quite right.
994
01:13:27,149 --> 01:13:30,514
I can certainly see the serious
implications. It's not a laughing matter.
995
01:13:30,648 --> 01:13:32,520
It's only a laughing matter.
996
01:13:32,648 --> 01:13:36,512
Indecent exposure is illegal.
Even in America.
997
01:13:36,648 --> 01:13:38,722
Yep, yep...
998
01:13:38,856 --> 01:13:41,427
You're right.
And we're very, very sorry, aren't we?
999
01:13:41,565 --> 01:13:45,854
No, I'm not. This is my husband.
-And this is my home!
1000
01:13:45,982 --> 01:13:48,470
Maybe it's time for them
to fly the nest?
1001
01:13:48,607 --> 01:13:52,470
Certainly not. They will stay put
and brazen this out.
1002
01:13:52,607 --> 01:13:55,605
And you can get that ghastly painting
out of my house!
1003
01:13:55,732 --> 01:13:58,600
We do not need any more reminders
of your easy virtue!
1004
01:14:08,898 --> 01:14:11,433
Excited, Furber?
-Overwhelmed, sir.
1005
01:14:11,565 --> 01:14:16,139
Miss Hilda...
-Uncle George... How explosive!
1006
01:14:16,273 --> 01:14:18,976
Furber, I recognise that as asparagus.
1007
01:14:19,107 --> 01:14:20,979
Correct, Madam.
1008
01:14:21,107 --> 01:14:24,686
Ha! I pity poor Panda.
-Oh, what is it now?
1009
01:14:24,815 --> 01:14:29,970
Read! "The Detroit News".
Uncle George is a super sleuth!
1010
01:14:30,106 --> 01:14:33,519
Collecting old newspapers is
the last refuge of a truly boring man.
1011
01:14:33,648 --> 01:14:37,772
Boring? Far from it. It was a scandal!
1012
01:14:37,899 --> 01:14:40,601
Wasn't it... Mrs Morley?
1013
01:14:41,899 --> 01:14:45,015
Mrs Tom Morley of Detroit, Michigan.
1014
01:14:45,149 --> 01:14:47,353
Don't be grotesque, Hilda.
1015
01:14:47,481 --> 01:14:51,974
Well, I suppose I'd better finish
my meal before it wilts entirely.
1016
01:14:52,106 --> 01:14:54,560
Any dressing?
-Oh, I am genuinely shocked!
1017
01:14:54,690 --> 01:14:58,387
No thanks, I always end up wearing it.
-We've been hoodwinked!
1018
01:14:58,524 --> 01:15:00,929
Especially that runny vinaigrette.
- Fire and brimstone!
1019
01:15:01,065 --> 01:15:03,020
Mayonnaise has more ballast.
1020
01:15:03,149 --> 01:15:06,514
Will you stop this insulting behaviour
immediately?
1021
01:15:12,273 --> 01:15:14,394
Oh, I always hated that photo of myself.
1022
01:15:14,524 --> 01:15:18,600
Of everything I ever
expected, nothing prepared me for this.
1023
01:15:18,732 --> 01:15:21,399
For what?
-She was charged with murder.
1024
01:15:21,524 --> 01:15:24,012
I was acquitted.
-And that's consolation?
1025
01:15:24,149 --> 01:15:27,596
I told you my husband died.
-But you didn't tell us how, did you?
1026
01:15:27,732 --> 01:15:29,722
Does John know about this?
1027
01:15:29,856 --> 01:15:32,180
I see...
-It's no concern of ours.
1028
01:15:32,315 --> 01:15:34,934
Father! Really!
1029
01:15:35,065 --> 01:15:37,933
Yes, and after Hilda went
to all that trouble digging it up.
1030
01:15:38,065 --> 01:15:40,518
I'm going outside for a cigarette.
Care to join me?
1031
01:15:40,648 --> 01:15:43,563
Thank you, Jim. Don't mind if I do.
1032
01:15:45,315 --> 01:15:47,021
No concern?
1033
01:15:52,357 --> 01:15:54,430
The pack's closing.
1034
01:15:54,565 --> 01:15:57,729
This woman has taken advantage
of our son!
1035
01:15:57,856 --> 01:15:59,894
He'd never have married her
if he'd known.
1036
01:16:00,023 --> 01:16:02,891
You know that, do you?
-You'd have preferred we had an affair?
1037
01:16:03,023 --> 01:16:06,104
It would've been more appropriate!
-Mother!
1038
01:16:06,231 --> 01:16:10,308
Unfortunately, I agree with you!
- It's easy to talk like this now.
1039
01:16:10,440 --> 01:16:14,516
It isn't easy, it's heartbreaking.
I love John, but it's not blind love.
1040
01:16:16,023 --> 01:16:18,975
Marion, does that sound
indicate contempt or asthma?
1041
01:16:19,107 --> 01:16:21,429
You can't palm us off like that,
Mrs Morley.
1042
01:16:21,565 --> 01:16:23,639
This is your doing.
You're a bigger fool than you look.
1043
01:16:23,774 --> 01:16:25,847
Larita is your type,
isn't she, Father?
1044
01:16:25,982 --> 01:16:28,517
That is the nicest thing
any of you have ever said.
1045
01:16:28,648 --> 01:16:31,184
Hello, are we having a picnic?
1046
01:16:32,856 --> 01:16:38,521
John... I think your wife better unveil
this one herself. Don't you, Larita?
1047
01:16:42,231 --> 01:16:43,772
Before we met...
1048
01:16:44,856 --> 01:16:48,981
... I was involved in a court case
over the death of my husband.
1049
01:16:49,107 --> 01:16:51,429
It was seedy and stressful,
1050
01:16:51,565 --> 01:16:54,479
but since I was found innocent
1051
01:16:54,607 --> 01:16:57,724
I didn't think it necessary
to burden you with the details.
1052
01:16:57,856 --> 01:16:59,136
Innocent?
1053
01:16:59,273 --> 01:17:02,188
She was responsible
for a man killing himself!
1054
01:17:02,315 --> 01:17:05,930
The verdict was suicide
but that's not where it started.
1055
01:17:06,065 --> 01:17:07,854
I thought it was cancer.
1056
01:17:08,524 --> 01:17:10,146
It was...
1057
01:17:10,273 --> 01:17:12,809
But he was so desperately sick.
1058
01:17:12,940 --> 01:17:16,140
If you'd known him, you would've
understood how forgivable it was.
1059
01:17:16,273 --> 01:17:18,727
It's not as if she poisoned him.
-That's what everyone thinks.
1060
01:17:18,856 --> 01:17:21,262
She's a black widow.
-I pity you, Marion.
1061
01:17:21,399 --> 01:17:23,603
Really? Well, I won't let you!
1062
01:17:23,732 --> 01:17:28,104
Right, that's it! You have a dance
to organise, I suggest you all get to it!
1063
01:17:28,231 --> 01:17:29,890
Now!
1064
01:17:33,815 --> 01:17:36,386
Hilda! Come on, inside!
1065
01:17:38,732 --> 01:17:40,557
John...
1066
01:18:05,982 --> 01:18:09,099
Are you crying
because you're angry or ashamed?
1067
01:18:11,231 --> 01:18:12,725
Neither.
1068
01:18:14,399 --> 01:18:18,854
Coming here has been the most
demoralising experience of my life.
1069
01:18:24,065 --> 01:18:27,146
Why didn't you tell me?
1070
01:18:27,273 --> 01:18:29,809
I wanted to,
everything just happened so fast.
1071
01:18:29,940 --> 01:18:32,096
That's not good enough.
1072
01:18:33,440 --> 01:18:36,308
I tried to, several times.
1073
01:18:38,106 --> 01:18:42,017
But you trusted me... "absolutely".
1074
01:18:44,023 --> 01:18:47,969
And you saw the field day
those fatuous hypocrites made of it.
1075
01:18:48,106 --> 01:18:50,097
Please remember they're my family.
1076
01:18:50,231 --> 01:18:52,803
I shouldn't think of them at all
if they weren't.
1077
01:18:52,940 --> 01:18:57,265
Still... you should have told me.
1078
01:18:58,856 --> 01:19:00,931
You should have loved me more.
1079
01:19:03,023 --> 01:19:05,180
I couldn't love you any more.
1080
01:19:05,315 --> 01:19:07,886
You should have loved me better.
1081
01:19:11,023 --> 01:19:13,309
I don't understand you, Larita.
1082
01:19:15,399 --> 01:19:17,934
I don't understand you at all.
1083
01:19:39,231 --> 01:19:43,688
1... 2... 3... Are you all left feet?
1084
01:19:43,815 --> 01:19:47,891
Dancing with you
is like trying to move a piano.
1085
01:19:48,023 --> 01:19:50,393
I wonder what the American
will be wearing.
1086
01:19:50,524 --> 01:19:52,763
Or who she'll be poisoning!
1087
01:19:55,565 --> 01:19:58,978
Do you like long, moonlit walks?
1088
01:19:59,107 --> 01:20:01,677
Only when taken by people
who annoy me.
1089
01:20:01,815 --> 01:20:05,809
You've got me all to yourself.
Larita's upstairs with a headache.
1090
01:20:05,940 --> 01:20:09,270
And which little fool, pray tell,
gave her that?
1091
01:20:26,524 --> 01:20:30,102
You ought to see if Larita is coping.
-I already have. She's fine.
1092
01:20:30,231 --> 01:20:33,846
It's been a very trying day
for her, John.
1093
01:20:33,982 --> 01:20:36,980
Go and escort your wife down.
-No, I wouldn't worry.
1094
01:20:37,107 --> 01:20:40,887
You know my wife, she'll make
an entrance when she's ready.
1095
01:20:45,982 --> 01:20:47,807
Come in.
1096
01:20:50,481 --> 01:20:53,515
Quickly, you'll blow my cover.
1097
01:21:01,399 --> 01:21:04,017
Why are you sitting in the dark?
1098
01:21:04,149 --> 01:21:06,103
Watching.
1099
01:21:07,690 --> 01:21:10,853
People are so universally similar
when their guard is down.
1100
01:21:10,982 --> 01:21:14,264
- Oh, hello! Ha-ha!
1101
01:21:17,399 --> 01:21:21,558
It seems they are universally similar
when their guard is up, as well.
1102
01:21:24,607 --> 01:21:26,064
May I?
1103
01:21:28,106 --> 01:21:32,396
Thank you for being gallant today.
-You are damn cool in a crisis.
1104
01:21:33,815 --> 01:21:37,015
The judge at my trial
said something similar.
1105
01:21:39,190 --> 01:21:41,346
Why did you do it?
1106
01:21:43,899 --> 01:21:46,352
Why did you marry John?
1107
01:21:47,899 --> 01:21:51,560
My first husband was older,
and his end was messy.
1108
01:21:53,607 --> 01:21:55,811
Long afterwards, this...
1109
01:21:57,440 --> 01:21:58,767
... boy...
1110
01:21:58,898 --> 01:22:04,053
... this pure boy arrived
fresh and unblemished.
1111
01:22:07,273 --> 01:22:10,686
I married him because
any other relationship seemed...
1112
01:22:11,565 --> 01:22:14,350
... cheap and squalid.
1113
01:22:16,149 --> 01:22:20,640
My first marriage cost me my youth,
and here I am stealing someone else's.
1114
01:22:22,690 --> 01:22:24,349
What will you do?
1115
01:22:26,440 --> 01:22:28,644
The best I can.
1116
01:22:34,690 --> 01:22:35,969
Oh, Davis, thank you.
1117
01:22:37,732 --> 01:22:40,895
And thank you, Pinkie.
-No, not at all, my dear.
1118
01:22:41,023 --> 01:22:43,642
Just look at this turnout.
-Hmm...
1119
01:22:43,774 --> 01:22:48,430
They've only come for a repeat
performance of the Cincinnati succubus.
1120
01:22:48,565 --> 01:22:50,935
May I have the pleasure?
1121
01:23:24,815 --> 01:23:26,012
Oh, look!
1122
01:23:45,190 --> 01:23:48,603
Tango, please.
-Certainly. Tango...
1123
01:23:56,524 --> 01:23:59,272
Dance with me, John.
1124
01:24:00,774 --> 01:24:02,930
Lari, don't.
1125
01:24:03,065 --> 01:24:06,513
Please? Dance with me.
1126
01:24:48,440 --> 01:24:50,929
That was very gallant.
1127
01:25:42,106 --> 01:25:45,223
You've got to stop them, Mother.
-No, I don't.
1128
01:26:24,106 --> 01:26:27,223
Oh, marvellous! Marvellous!
1129
01:26:29,023 --> 01:26:32,306
Straight from the bordellos
of Buenos Aires
1130
01:26:32,440 --> 01:26:35,806
to the Hippodrome of London, Maestro,
take it away!
1131
01:26:37,440 --> 01:26:40,770
Jim, this is the end.
1132
01:26:51,648 --> 01:26:53,556
Congratulations, Madam.
1133
01:26:53,690 --> 01:26:57,434
Have you been drinking, Furber?
-Yes, Madam. Prodigiously.
1134
01:26:57,565 --> 01:27:00,267
You are full of surprises.
-Oh, yes, Madam.
1135
01:27:00,399 --> 01:27:02,472
I was even arrested once.
1136
01:27:02,607 --> 01:27:04,514
What for?
-Bigamy.
1137
01:27:12,940 --> 01:27:15,938
Ah, there you are,
Pinkie, I've found you.
1138
01:27:26,732 --> 01:27:28,852
Larita, where are you going?
1139
01:27:28,982 --> 01:27:31,849
Away, Sarah. For John's sake.
1140
01:27:31,982 --> 01:27:33,724
Far, far away.
1141
01:27:34,856 --> 01:27:36,978
Is there anything I can do?
1142
01:27:37,107 --> 01:27:39,476
You can look after him.
1143
01:27:39,607 --> 01:27:43,268
Women like me are tiresome in love.
We expect too much.
1144
01:27:45,149 --> 01:27:48,929
Marry John. It's the way things
always should've been.
1145
01:27:49,065 --> 01:27:53,769
I'm just so sorry I got in the way.
-You love him that much?
1146
01:28:00,315 --> 01:28:02,768
Go. I'll cover for you.
1147
01:28:02,898 --> 01:28:04,605
Sweet Sarah.
1148
01:28:04,732 --> 01:28:07,979
So glad you've recovered
from your headache.
1149
01:28:08,106 --> 01:28:11,057
Please don't build any convenient
social lies on my behalf.
1150
01:28:11,190 --> 01:28:15,764
I say, Mother is only...
-Fighting to keep the charade alive?
1151
01:28:15,899 --> 01:28:19,264
You've shown tremendous fortitude
holding this family together, Veronica,
1152
01:28:19,399 --> 01:28:21,188
and I can respect that.
1153
01:28:21,315 --> 01:28:26,019
What I can't respect is the manipulative
road you've chosen to maintain control.
1154
01:28:26,149 --> 01:28:29,430
This war is over. Move on.
1155
01:28:29,565 --> 01:28:32,100
"Move on. " Oh, how convenient.
1156
01:28:32,231 --> 01:28:36,605
Oh, wake up, Marion.
Edgar's not coming back.
1157
01:28:36,732 --> 01:28:38,852
And that ring isn't stuck, you are.
1158
01:28:38,982 --> 01:28:43,604
And Hilda, you've got such promise,
yet you're squandering it on malice.
1159
01:28:43,732 --> 01:28:45,639
My advice to both you girls?
1160
01:28:46,565 --> 01:28:50,428
Run! Go see the world
through your own eyes.
1161
01:28:52,065 --> 01:28:55,644
So speaks the siren,
leading the sailors to their death.
1162
01:28:55,774 --> 01:28:59,020
At least I'm not Medusa,
turning them to stone.
1163
01:28:59,149 --> 01:29:03,272
Get out!
- Larita? Lari?
1164
01:29:04,149 --> 01:29:07,100
Lari, don't go.
-John, I have to.
1165
01:29:07,231 --> 01:29:10,679
I can't live here. Nothing can.
1166
01:29:10,815 --> 01:29:14,346
But you're my wife, and I love you.
1167
01:29:15,732 --> 01:29:17,806
Oh, John, my darling...
1168
01:29:19,940 --> 01:29:22,559
You don't know what love is.
1169
01:29:22,690 --> 01:29:27,015
You have no idea what it means
to love someone so much
1170
01:29:27,149 --> 01:29:29,851
that you will do anything for them.
1171
01:29:33,690 --> 01:29:36,357
Even inject them with poison
1172
01:29:36,481 --> 01:29:40,013
when they were too feeble
to do it for themselves.
1173
01:29:45,690 --> 01:29:48,972
I don't believe that you could've
ever loved me like that.
1174
01:29:57,648 --> 01:29:59,474
Oh, John, let her go.
1175
01:30:02,274 --> 01:30:07,855
Let her go, off into the sunset
to inject another family with her poison!
1176
01:30:07,982 --> 01:30:09,972
Mother...
Off you go!
1177
01:30:10,106 --> 01:30:12,476
Before your past
catches up with you... again!
1178
01:30:12,607 --> 01:30:14,313
Mother!
1179
01:30:16,856 --> 01:30:19,180
Oh, you evil...
1180
01:30:19,315 --> 01:30:21,471
Mother! Shut up!
1181
01:30:24,732 --> 01:30:27,220
They are predicting warmer weather,
Madam.
1182
01:30:27,356 --> 01:30:30,473
Yes, Furber, I believe they are.
Thank you.
1183
01:30:35,690 --> 01:30:37,147
Very generous.
1184
01:30:38,440 --> 01:30:41,687
There's something special in there
for Jackson. Make sure he gets it.
1185
01:30:41,815 --> 01:30:44,730
Of course.
Where will Madam be staying?
1186
01:30:45,773 --> 01:30:47,230
Who knows?
1187
01:30:47,982 --> 01:30:49,522
Good luck.
1188
01:30:50,774 --> 01:30:52,515
And you, Furber.
1189
01:30:53,482 --> 01:30:56,052
Would you forward the painting please,
Furber?
1190
01:30:56,190 --> 01:30:58,476
To where, sir?
1191
01:31:04,856 --> 01:31:07,808
I shall enjoy passing on
the good news, sir.
1192
01:31:11,815 --> 01:31:17,598
Well, my dear, when the going
gets tough, the tough get going.
1193
01:31:17,731 --> 01:31:21,975
# I've got something to tell you
Really?
1194
01:31:23,023 --> 01:31:26,104
# I got something to say
I'm all ears.
1195
01:31:26,232 --> 01:31:31,019
# I'm going to put
these wheels in motion
1196
01:31:31,148 --> 01:31:34,763
# And let nothing stand in my way...
1197
01:31:36,440 --> 01:31:40,848
# Darling,
I'll climb any mountain
1198
01:31:40,981 --> 01:31:44,810
# Darling, I'll do anything
1199
01:31:44,940 --> 01:31:47,642
# When the going gets tough
1200
01:31:49,773 --> 01:31:52,557
# The tough get going
1201
01:31:54,106 --> 01:31:57,140
# When the going gets rough
1202
01:31:58,898 --> 01:32:01,434
# The tough get rough
1203
01:32:03,565 --> 01:32:06,812
# Gonna get myself across the river
1204
01:32:07,773 --> 01:32:11,637
# That's the price that I'm willing to pay
1205
01:32:11,773 --> 01:32:16,477
# I'm gonna make you stand and deliver
1206
01:32:16,607 --> 01:32:21,015
# And give me love
in that old-fashioned way
1207
01:32:21,148 --> 01:32:26,268
# Oh, darling,
I'll climb any mountain
1208
01:32:26,398 --> 01:32:30,178
# Darling, I'll do anything
1209
01:32:30,315 --> 01:32:33,017
# Cos when the going gets tough
1210
01:32:35,107 --> 01:32:37,856
# The tough get going
1211
01:32:39,190 --> 01:32:42,390
# When the going gets rough
1212
01:32:44,190 --> 01:32:46,679
# The tough get rough...
1213
01:33:09,982 --> 01:33:14,888
My Lords, ladies and gentlemen,
introducing the Easy Virtue Orchestra.
1214
01:33:17,065 --> 01:33:20,347
On piano,
the honourable James Watson.
1215
01:33:24,565 --> 01:33:27,397
On the bass,
Thomas "The Bass Engine" Mason.
1216
01:33:30,940 --> 01:33:33,807
On the euphonium, Oren Marshall.
1217
01:33:35,940 --> 01:33:37,931
Christopher Webster, trombone.
1218
01:33:39,565 --> 01:33:44,388
Drums, Mr David Rowntree
and Benjamin Bryant.
1219
01:33:48,106 --> 01:33:50,559
On the ukulele, Paul Woollard.
1220
01:33:51,982 --> 01:33:55,015
On the guitar, Christopher Montague.
1221
01:33:57,607 --> 01:34:00,474
On the washboard, Jason Boshoff.
1222
01:34:01,773 --> 01:34:06,265
Saxophones, Mike "The Micro" Smith
and Samuel Franke.
1223
01:34:10,690 --> 01:34:14,766
On clarinets, Christopher Caldwell
and Bradley Grant.
1224
01:34:18,732 --> 01:34:22,346
On the trumpets, Gerard Presencer
and Christopher Storr.
1225
01:34:27,440 --> 01:34:32,014
On strings, Sophie Solomon, Perry
Montague-Mason, Emlyn Singleton,
1226
01:34:32,148 --> 01:34:35,929
Boguslaw Kostecki, Peter Lale,
David Daniels and Joe Knight.
1227
01:34:36,065 --> 01:34:37,606
Thank you.
1228
01:34:38,648 --> 01:34:41,315
And on the saw, David Coulter.
1229
01:34:43,107 --> 01:34:46,389
On the bandoneَn,
Ian "Tango-man" Watson.
1230
01:34:49,273 --> 01:34:52,769
And on the oboe,
Katherine "St-John-St-John" St John.
1231
01:34:54,440 --> 01:34:55,981
Thanks, Kate.
1232
01:34:56,106 --> 01:34:58,393
On the slide whistle, Stephan Elliott.
1233
01:34:59,690 --> 01:35:01,930
Michelle De Vries on the cymbal.
1234
01:35:02,065 --> 01:35:04,102
Barnaby Thompson on spoons.
1235
01:35:05,440 --> 01:35:08,142
Tristram Penna, Gramophone.
1236
01:35:08,273 --> 01:35:09,766
Thanks, Tris.
1237
01:35:09,898 --> 01:35:12,813
And on the banjo, Benedict De Vries.
1238
01:35:15,356 --> 01:35:18,141
Ladies and Gentlemen,
you've been a wonderful audience.
1239
01:35:18,273 --> 01:35:21,473
Tell your friends
and please come back soon.
1240
01:35:21,607 --> 01:35:24,853
And remember, keep your powder dry.
1241
01:35:28,190 --> 01:35:30,559
Goodnight. Thank you.
1242
01:35:33,607 --> 01:35:37,682
# I'm going to buy myself
a one-way ticket
1243
01:35:38,773 --> 01:35:42,719
# Nothing's going to hold me back
- Really?
1244
01:35:42,856 --> 01:35:46,388
# Your love is like a slow train coming
1245
01:35:47,440 --> 01:35:50,722
# And I feel it coming down the track
1246
01:35:50,856 --> 01:35:56,853
# Oh, darling
- I'll climb any mountain!
1247
01:35:56,981 --> 01:36:00,975
# Darling
- I'll do anything!
1248
01:36:01,107 --> 01:36:05,764
# When the going gets tough
-# When the going gets tough
1249
01:36:05,898 --> 01:36:09,892
# The tough get going
-# The tough get going
1250
01:36:10,023 --> 01:36:14,728
# When the going gets rough
-# When the going gets rough
1251
01:36:14,856 --> 01:36:19,977
# The tough get rough
-# The tough get rough
1252
01:36:20,106 --> 01:36:22,773
# Ooh, can I touch you?
1253
01:36:24,106 --> 01:36:27,188
# And do the things that lovers do
1254
01:36:29,315 --> 01:36:31,982
# Ooh, I want to hold you
1255
01:36:33,065 --> 01:36:37,307
# I've got to get it through to you... #
1256
01:36:48,148 --> 01:36:50,020
Gobble, gobble!102020
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