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(vacuum cleaner whirring)
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LOIS:
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Hal?
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Are you smoking again?
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No!
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I am cleaning.
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Do you smell smoke?
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No, but I...
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No, Lois, if I wanted
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to smoke a cigar
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I wouldn't be sneaking around
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like a scared little
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schoolboy.
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I would do it
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out in the open like a man.
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That was our third shop vac.
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That is our last shop vac.
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♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
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♪ I don't know ♪
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♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
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♪ You're not the boss
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of me now ♪
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♪ You're not
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the boss of me now ♪
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♪ You're not the boss
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of me now ♪
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♪ And you're not so big ♪
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♪ You're not the boss
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of me now ♪
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♪ You're not
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the boss of me now ♪
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♪ You're not the boss
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of me now ♪
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♪ And you're not so big ♪
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♪ Life is unfair. ♪
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LOIS:
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Francis, I don't want to hear
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another argument about it.
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You are going to fix
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the roof.
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That is totally unfair!
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I come home
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from school and
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you immediately
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put me to work.
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Well, someone has to do it,
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and you know your father
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is terrified of heights.
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He is not terrified!
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The last time
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he changed a lightbulb,
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we had to talk him down
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from the table.
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You are going to do this.
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Why don't you just put
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a choke chain around my neck
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and make me sleep
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in the garage?!
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This is what we call
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a "level four" rage.
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The only way not to get nailed
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is to make no sudden moves
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and avoid eye contact
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at all costs.
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(spoon clatters
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on bowl)
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And you...
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You think just because
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you hide the note,
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the parent-teacher meeting
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will just go away?
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Mom, Mr. Woodward
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is totally out to get me.
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Every teacher
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since kindergarten
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has been out to get you.
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I know. It upsets me, too.
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(sniffs)
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(Hal whistling)
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Why is the drain
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still clogged?
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(stammering)
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Uh, honey, there was
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a, you know...
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I was only seconds away from...
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It's a funny thing,
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see...
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Oh, what a mess!
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Look at that!
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That is a milk ring
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on the table.
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Reese is still searching
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for academic truth.
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His...
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focus is diffuse.
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His initiative
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is waning, and...
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it's preventing
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his full potentiation.
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What?
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To put it simply,
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Reese isn't self-actualized.
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Look, maybe I could
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just give you a topic
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and you could tell
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us "good" or "bad."
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That would help
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us here.
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Reese is flunking
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almost every subject,
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and I'm going to recommend
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that he be moved
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into the remedial class.
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And that's
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a euphemism for...
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The remedial class.
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(laughs)
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No. No, no, no,
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no, no, no, no.
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No, no, that is
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not an option.
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We'll get him
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to buckle down.
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I hope it's that simple.
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Reese will get
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back on track.
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We'll see to it
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if it kills him.
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I'm glad to see
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your level of commitment.
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I'm really happy we had
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this chance to talk.
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So we can go now.
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I don't want to hear
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any excuses.
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You will sit down every night
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and work
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until those grades are up.
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Why do I have to tutor him?
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Because
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God gave you a giant brain.
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Blame him.
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Reese screws up,
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and I get punished for it?
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Where's the logic
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in that?
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Malcolm, I have zero tolerance
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on this one.
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Finally, Mom found
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the courage to
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speak her mind.
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Why aren't you fixing that roof?
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It's 40 degrees out there.
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I'll freeze.
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And it's going to rain.
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That's why you have to fix
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the roof.
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Well, maybe if you didn't buy
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such crappy shingles,
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it wouldn't leak all the time.
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Francis, as long as you are
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in this house,
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you will do as I say.
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You know what, Mom?
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No.
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I'm too old to be
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bullied by you.
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Our whole lives,
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you have done nothing
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but dictate what
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you wanted.
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You're the boss
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of the world,
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and we're all
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sick of it.
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This may be your roof,
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but we live here, too.
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We are human beings
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with rights, and I'm hereby
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putting an end
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to your reign of terror.
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You should have seen
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the look on her face.
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It was totally
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worth it.
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Sounds like
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you-you've had it rough.
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Oh, man, you have no idea.
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Thanks.
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I've got a place
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near the bus station.
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It's warm and fairly dry.
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You can stay there
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for a while.
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If-if you want to.
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You'd do that for me?
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It's a tough world.
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We've got to look out
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for each other.
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Thanks.
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Richie!
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Dude!
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I heard your mom kicked you out.
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You want to stay at my place?
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You are a lifesaver!
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Could you give me a lift to...
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Sorry, man. We're
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going the other way.
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Hi.
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Why aren't you flying?
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My name is Dewey.
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Good to meet you, Tony.
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Want to play?
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Okay, but I get to be
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the red team.
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Look, I don't like this
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any better than you do.
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Let's just get
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it over with.
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Dude, this book's
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totally wrecked.
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What did you
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do to it?
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I threw it at a duck.
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Well, where's
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your math book?
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Which half?
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We'll just start
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with geography, then.
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I don't take geography!
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Yes, you do.
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You got a grade in it.
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Oh, that can't be good.
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Mi casa es su casa.
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This may be
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my parents' house,
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but, dude...
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down here,
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anything goes.
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Oh! What is that smell?
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It could be
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the laundry.
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It could be
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the mildew.
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It could be
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that rat I shot.
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I think I wounded it.
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It probably crawled
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into a hole in the wall
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to die or something.
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What's this?
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It's your bed.
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You got to blow it up.
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(television
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playing softly)
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Welcome to Chez Richie.
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Rule number one:
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there are no rules.
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Rule number two:
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no shoes on the sofa.
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It is so real.
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Come on. What's the answer?
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You can do this.
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We've gone over this
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a thousand times.
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You have to carry the tenths.
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Tenths have to go someplace.
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Tenths don't just float around.
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Get smarter already!
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Think. Make your brain work.
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I could be outside doing
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anything other than this.
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But, no. I'm stuck in here
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babysitting this...
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4.2.
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That's right.
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I mean...
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I actually understand this.
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The tenths have to go someplace.
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Great. Let's move on
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to the next one.
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(hammering)
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(sighs)
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Hal! Come down from there!
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(high-pitched voice):
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Hi, honey.
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What do you think
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you're doing?
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Oh, just... fixing
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the shingles.
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Francis has responsibilities.
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You can't keep covering for him.
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This is not about him.
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It's about me.
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I just wanted to get
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some fresh air and...
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the view from up here is...
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is incredible.
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Did you ever think
300
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:36,391
that I might be
301
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:36,391
enjoying myself?
302
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,559
(screaming hysterically)
303
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,729
I spent two days on it.
304
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,399
There was even a paragraph
305
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,399
that I thought really sucked
306
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,151
so I went back and rewrote it.
307
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,819
Malcolm, I'd never
308
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,819
done that before,
309
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,238
but last night...
310
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,238
I mean, look at me.
311
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,158
I'm going on and on
312
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,158
while you're sitting
313
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,158
here trying to read.
314
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,284
How's the grammar?
315
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:56,286
Never mind.
316
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:58,413
Reese...
317
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:01,666
This is C-minus work.
318
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,377
All right!
319
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,377
Nice job!
320
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,045
You're not just saying that?
321
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,422
No. This is seriously the best
322
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,422
work I've ever seen you do.
323
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:08,423
Yes! That's great!
324
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,966
I couldn't have done it
325
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,966
without you!
326
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,051
Thanks, Malcolm.
327
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,802
BOTH:
328
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,802
Ew!
329
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,391
I kicked your ass!
330
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,599
LOIS:
331
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,599
You got another "F"!
332
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,018
Mom, I read that paper.
333
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,853
It's not an "F"!
334
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,853
Then what is this?
335
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,646
We've been studying
336
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,646
four hours a night.
337
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:24,981
Well, guess what.
338
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:24,981
It's not enough.
339
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,607
You're going to study
340
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,607
eight hours a night
341
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,235
if that's what it takes
342
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,235
to get your grades up,
343
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,777
and that's what
344
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,777
you're going to do.
345
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,777
But, Mom...
346
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:30,987
I don't see a mother here.
347
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,655
All I see is a warden
348
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,655
with two prisoners
349
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:33,823
who are out of their cell.
350
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,200
Now get back in there!
351
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:38,995
HAL:
352
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:38,995
Oh, oh, oh!
353
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,621
Not like this.
354
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,623
(screaming)
355
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,834
I'm okay! I'm okay!
356
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,218
Okay, you know what?
357
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,844
It's freezing, but
358
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,844
I don't need heat
359
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,513
'cause I got
360
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,513
justice on my side.
361
00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:57,638
Mom will cave.
362
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:58,639
She'll cave.
363
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,850
It's going to
364
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,850
be so sweet.
365
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,352
(grunts)
366
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:05,021
Could you do that in
367
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:05,021
the bathroom, Richie?
368
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:08,316
Dude, no one's going in there
369
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:08,316
for at least six hours.
370
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:11,652
Well, then, could you do it
371
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:11,652
over a wastebasket or something?
372
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,947
And can we cool it
373
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,947
on the porno for,
374
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,947
like, five minutes?
375
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,865
Yeah. When this is over,
376
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,865
I'll just pop in
377
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,284
Sluts of the Big Ten.
378
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,035
No. No more porn.
379
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,287
Dude...
380
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,497
that's a documentary.
381
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,542
Ow!
382
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,252
God, my eye!
383
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,254
Hey, try to find
384
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,254
that toenail, Francis.
385
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,590
It is so creepy
386
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,590
to step on those things.
387
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,673
Ow!
388
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,675
Come on, Reese, the
389
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,675
test is in two hours!
390
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,927
This is too much, Malcolm.
391
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,512
I'll never pass this thing.
392
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:40,056
There's 30 true-false
393
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:40,056
questions and five essays.
394
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:40,974
It's impossible.
395
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,683
So, Reese,
396
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,683
today's the big test?
397
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,478
What do you have to get
398
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,478
on this thing
399
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,396
to say out of remedial class?
400
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,523
A "B."
401
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:49,608
(laughter)
402
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,359
No, guys, he's serious.
403
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,695
But you're... an idiot.
404
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,406
You're right.
405
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:59,326
Yeah. The only way
406
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:59,326
this idiot's going
407
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:59,326
to pass the test
408
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,702
is if somebody else
409
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,702
takes it for the idiot.
410
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,538
Right, idiot?
411
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:04,705
Stevie set the precedent!
412
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:05,873
You had a chance
413
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:05,873
for rebuttal,
414
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,916
but since you
415
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,916
didn't answer
416
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,168
you waived your right!
417
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:09,710
Therefore, it's an
418
00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:09,710
agreed-upon term!
419
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,754
What am I going to do?
420
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,756
I can't get put in
421
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,756
the remedial class.
422
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,634
They walk to
423
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,634
the cafeteria
424
00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:17,135
holding each other's belts.
425
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,219
Unless...
426
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,513
maybe Lloyd's right.
427
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:22,723
Maybe someone should
428
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:22,723
take the test for you.
429
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,725
You mean cheat?
430
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:25,726
We can't cheat.
431
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,228
Mom will kill us.
432
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,229
And it's wrong.
433
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,191
But more importantly,
434
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,191
Mom would kill us!
435
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,109
Hey, we're out
436
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,109
of options here, Reese.
437
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,529
You're going to get caught.
438
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,529
No, we're not.
439
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:36,613
And you know why?
440
00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,615
Because we have four
441
00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,615
brilliant minds here
442
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:39,782
to help plan this out.
443
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,742
You had to appeal to my vanity,
444
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,742
didn't you?
445
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:42,743
I'm in.
446
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,621
I'm sorry,
447
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:44,621
but I am honor-bound
448
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:47,832
to report this conversation
449
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:47,832
to the vice-principal.
450
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,750
Then we're
451
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,750
honor-bound to report
452
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,752
you still sleep
453
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,752
with an Elmo blankie.
454
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,254
Okay, I'm in.
455
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:07,935
We, uh...
456
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:07,935
here's the VCR you ordered.
457
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,646
I didn't order a VCR.
458
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:10,813
Yes, you did!
459
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:11,939
Feel free to call and verify.
460
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,608
I know the extension number.
461
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,193
There's someone there right now.
462
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:15,860
That won't be...
463
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,028
Or you can take a look
464
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,238
at this A/V
465
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,238
equipment schedule.
466
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,781
Your name and class hour's
467
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,781
right here on page seven
468
00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:21,782
in nonstudent handwriting.
469
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,784
WOODWARD:
470
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,784
All right.
471
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,203
Go ahead and leave it.
472
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,787
Okay.
473
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,789
No, no, you said
474
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,789
you didn't order a cart
475
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,166
so you're not going to get one.
476
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:33,044
We'll just be leaving and
477
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:33,044
pushing this out the door.
478
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,880
Ah, here it is!
479
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,440
Hey, watch out!
480
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:57,068
Be... the cannonball.
481
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:03,824
Are you all right?
482
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,953
Way to go... hot rod!
483
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,512
(coughing)
484
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:45,032
Okay, well, there's the rat.
485
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,868
No, Tony, that's not fair.
486
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:51,872
Today it's my cartoons
487
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:51,872
before school
488
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,875
and your cartoons after school.
489
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,253
Fine, Tony, be that way.
490
00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:01,132
I don't want to be
491
00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:01,132
your friend anyway.
492
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,891
Tony!
493
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,186
I can't stay mad at you either.
494
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,895
Hey...
495
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,898
Did you get that
496
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,898
history test back yet?
497
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,066
Not yet.
498
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,066
No, haven't seen it.
499
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,236
You both better
500
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,236
pray for a "B."
501
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,906
Hey, did Francis call
502
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,906
you at work yet?
503
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,908
No. No, I haven't talked to him
504
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,908
since he...
505
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,910
He thinks he's making
506
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,910
some kind of point
507
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:30,995
by cutting off all contact.
508
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,121
You know, he should know.
509
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,373
Till he's ready
510
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,373
to apologize,
511
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,915
there's really no
512
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,915
reason to call.
513
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,626
I can't wait to see
514
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,626
the look on his face
515
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,919
when he realizes that
516
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,919
we have figured him out.
517
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,922
Ah! What have we
518
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,922
to figure out, dear?
519
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,508
That I'm in it
520
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,508
for the long haul.
521
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,925
He should know
522
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,511
I am prepared
523
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,511
to go the distance!
524
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,723
You know, I think he likes
525
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:49,723
tomatoes on his sandwich.
526
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:50,931
Other bag, Hal.
527
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:51,932
Ah, right. Bye.
528
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:52,933
Bye.
529
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,728
LLOYD:
530
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,728
A masterful "B,"
531
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:55,936
Malcolm.
532
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,731
I could never dumb
533
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,731
myself down like this.
534
00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:58,939
I find this "F"
535
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,817
very troubling.
536
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:03,944
Something... stinks.
537
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,739
He knows we cheated!
538
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:08,949
We're going to have
539
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:08,949
to start cutting separate deals.
540
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,244
He doesn't know anything,
541
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,244
Dabney.
542
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,663
I'm gonna go talk to him.
543
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:14,581
Mr. Woodward?
544
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,956
I'm Malcolm,
545
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,956
I'm Reese's brother.
546
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,208
Oh, hi, how are you?
547
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,334
Well, Reese is upset.
548
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,127
He thinks he did
549
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,127
better than an "F"
550
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,337
on his history test.
551
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,882
I read it over,
552
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,882
and I sort of thought...
553
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:24,965
it wasn't half bad.
554
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,342
Do you think
555
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,342
there's any way
556
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,135
you can maybe
557
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,135
take another look?
558
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:31,138
Malcolm, you should be
559
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:31,138
commended for your fraternity,
560
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,140
but, uh, the test
561
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,140
deserved an "F."
562
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,602
Mr. Woodward, maybe if you
563
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,602
just looked at it again...
564
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,978
I can't spend a disproportionate
565
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,978
amount of time on Reese.
566
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,564
It's not fair
567
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,564
to the other students.
568
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,816
But he didn't deserve
569
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,816
an "F" on this.
570
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,277
Look, Malcolm, I-I've been
571
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,277
a teacher for a long time
572
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:46,487
and, uh, I think I know
573
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:46,487
what Reese is capable of.
574
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,239
I really don't think
575
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,239
you do, because...
576
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,451
Look, you may not want
577
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,451
to hear this about your brother,
578
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:54,412
but I've known kids like Reese
579
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:54,412
my whole life.
580
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,204
They're the ones
581
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,456
who throw water at you
582
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,165
so it looks like
583
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,165
you wet your pants.
584
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,626
They aim for your legs
585
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:00,627
in dodgeball,
586
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:03,087
and you fall down
587
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:03,087
and you break your jaw
588
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,506
and you need to have
589
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,506
your mouth wired shut
590
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,383
and your teeth
591
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,383
don't set properly.
592
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,636
And you spend six years
593
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,636
in orthodontia
594
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,472
with the most painfully
595
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,472
embarrassing headgear
596
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:13,932
ever designed,
597
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:21,021
which is only because they
598
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:21,021
don't feel fully actualized.
599
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,023
That guy's totally
600
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,023
out to get you.
601
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,318
Man! I was just using that
602
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,318
as an excuse.
603
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,737
He is so dead
604
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,737
when Mom finds out!
605
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,029
Reese, we can't bust him.
606
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,031
If we rat him out,
607
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,031
then Mom will know
608
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,743
we cheated.
609
00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:35,954
We're doomed.
610
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,831
KIDS (chanting):
611
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,831
Two is after one.
612
00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:40,750
Three is after two.
613
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,336
Four is after three.
614
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:48,716
Something is after something
615
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,885
and then we get
616
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,885
to ten!
617
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,054
(footsteps on stairs)
618
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,890
Good lord!
619
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,890
FRANCIS:
620
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,890
Thank God
621
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,890
you're here!
622
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,058
I was afraid you weren't going
623
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:58,058
to get my message at work.
624
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,352
What happened
625
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,352
to your eye...?
626
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,061
Hey, how do you guys want
627
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,061
your burgers?
628
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,104
Just a sec, man.
629
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,481
All right, so
630
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,481
I got it all worked out.
631
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,942
You tell Mom that you need me
632
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,942
to repair the lawnmower,
633
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,067
and then I hang out
634
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,067
and I just...
635
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,236
No, no, I-I'm just not going
636
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:09,236
to do that, Francis.
637
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,154
Hey, you
638
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,154
guys better
639
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,280
figure it out quick.
640
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:13,240
This cheap-ass trash can's
641
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:13,240
melting.
642
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,075
Well, maybe you could
643
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,075
talk to her then?
644
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,328
Just calm her down
645
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,328
so that I could come
646
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,328
home, maybe today even?
647
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,956
Francis, you've got to stop
648
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,956
putting me in the middle!
649
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:21,374
What, you're just going to let
650
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:21,374
her win this round, too?!
651
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,542
Francis, there is
652
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,542
nothing that I can do.
653
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,084
You know what
654
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,084
the problem is here?
655
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,086
You and your mother
656
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,086
are exactly alike!
657
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,087
That's a lie!
658
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:28,255
That is true!
659
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,257
You're both stubborn
660
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,257
and unwilling to bend.
661
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,092
So, fine, you win!
662
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,093
Congratulations!
663
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,595
This is your prize!
664
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,723
Now, if you'll excuse me,
665
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,723
I have to go.
666
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:39,559
It smells like something died
667
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:39,559
in here.
668
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,604
Your father's right, man.
669
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,315
Sometimes you can be
670
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,315
so stupid.
671
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,027
Uh-oh.
672
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,112
WOODWARD:
673
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:52,112
I'm sorry.
674
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:55,115
No one wanted it to
675
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:55,115
turn out this way.
676
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,702
I feel like
677
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,702
I let Reese down.
678
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,495
Just keep moving, Tony.
679
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,706
So where does
680
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,706
this leave us?
681
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:06,002
I think it's best if we make
682
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:06,002
the switch as soon as possible.
683
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,713
We need to look at this
684
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:09,589
as an opportunity.
685
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,466
Big opportunity,
686
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,466
being in the dumb class.
687
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,595
Reese, this isn't
688
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,595
what I wanted,
689
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:18,014
but you haven't
690
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:18,014
left us any choice.
691
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,810
Mom, don't do this.
692
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,144
It's not
693
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,144
Reese's fault.
694
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,813
He didn't deserve an "F"
695
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,813
on that test.
696
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,232
Malcolm, we've already
697
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,232
had this discussion.
698
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:30,150
I saw the test,
699
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:30,150
he did a good job.
700
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,193
He deserved a "B."
701
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,153
This guy is totally
702
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,153
out to get him.
703
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,154
Malcolm...
704
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,573
Look, I'm sorry
705
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,573
you feel that way,
706
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,867
but you can't blame me
707
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,867
for Reese's shortcomings.
708
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:39,201
Mom, this is the test.
709
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,536
Take a look
710
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,536
at this question.
711
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:43,039
"What was the cause
712
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:43,039
of the Great Depression?"
713
00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,206
He put down "Black Thursday."
714
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,541
That's a correct answer.
715
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,251
No, that's only
716
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,251
a partial answer.
717
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,420
To get full credit
718
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,420
he should have included
719
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,255
the vast overproduction
720
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,255
in the U.S.,
721
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,466
protectionism
722
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,466
in the foreign markets....
723
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:54,383
Overexpansion
724
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:54,383
of credit
725
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,052
and stock market
726
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,052
speculation?
727
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,177
Yes. That would
728
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,177
have been
729
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,471
a complete answer.
730
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,180
Ha! You didn't read
731
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,180
the answer
732
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,182
because that's exactly
733
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,182
what I wrote.
734
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,226
"I" wrote?
735
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:08,397
The royal "I,"
736
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:08,397
as in Reese.
737
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:10,399
Because I think
738
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:10,399
we can all identify
739
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:12,192
with what he's going through.
740
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:16,489
You took that test,
741
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:16,489
didn't you?
742
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:18,449
You cheated...
743
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,910
You let him cheat for you?
744
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:25,205
You gave something
745
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:25,205
he wrote an "F"?!
746
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,707
(thunder crashes)
747
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,417
You are out to get him.
748
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,586
Oh, I can't wait to see you
749
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,586
expelled or disbarred
750
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:31,921
or whatever it is they do
751
00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:34,381
to creepy little men
752
00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:34,381
who abuse their power.
753
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,383
There is no need
754
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,383
for name-calling.
755
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:39,219
I suggest we just leave
756
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:39,219
things as they are...
757
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:40,513
Oh, I don't think so.
758
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,598
WOODWARD:
759
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,598
Here's the situation:
760
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,808
if you notify the school,
761
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,226
then the school will find out
762
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,226
Malcolm cheated.
763
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:47,812
He'll be expelled.
764
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,814
Don't you threaten me.
765
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:51,231
This isn't a threat.
766
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,441
I just don't think
767
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,441
you'd throw away
768
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:55,153
the son who achieves for...
769
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,904
well, Reese.
770
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:59,448
You don't think I'd
771
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:59,448
sacrifice this one?
772
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,160
Let me explain
773
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,160
something to you.
774
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,037
I would sell Malcolm
775
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,037
down the river
776
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,287
in a heartbeat
777
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,287
to save Reese.
778
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,247
What?
779
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,247
Malcolm's
780
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,247
gonna be fine
781
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,124
no matter what happens.
782
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:09,249
Maybe he'll have to go
783
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,169
to junior college or
784
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,169
start off blue collar,
785
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,253
but he'll work his way up
786
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,253
to management eventually.
787
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,714
Reese is the one
788
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,714
who needs saving.
789
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,300
I don't believe you.
790
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:23,514
No mother could ever be
791
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:23,514
that callous to her own son.
792
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,268
Mom, please let me come home!
793
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:31,271
I'm cold and I'm hungry!
794
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,773
Please,
795
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,773
I'll fix the roof!
796
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:36,276
I'll paint the house,
797
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:36,276
I'll do anything, Mom!
798
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:38,445
Please, just let me live
799
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:38,445
indoors, Mom!
800
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,322
Please, I want to be warm again!
801
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:41,866
Mom, please!
802
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,201
(sobbing)
803
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:47,205
Maybe we can work something out.
804
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,291
There you go, Tony.
805
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,543
Night-night.
806
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:57,090
Oh, my God, look at
807
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:57,090
the size of that thing.
808
00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:57,882
(screams)
809
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,133
Dewey, what in the...?
810
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:01,928
Run, Tony, Run!
811
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,306
Why are they always named Tony?
812
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,892
Bye, Tony.
813
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,853
I love you.
814
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,941
(hammers pounding)
815
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,322
Yeah, it's cold, filthy
816
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,322
and dangerous,
817
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:23,699
but I say we got off easy.
818
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:26,326
If we all pitch in,
819
00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:26,326
we should be done in a week.
820
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:28,328
Hey, hurry up.
821
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,538
I'm trying.
822
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:32,166
I've got tar in my eyes.
47849
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