All language subtitles for cd49cdd7d7801deeb61f660973bb19dba61bb676b74c69900063a7ec2aa9fd3d8c702cb2a78a8b0c17018f2ef051795ec4981ef467949c5ce7f976c1dfe2

D (light music) J1
(Armando Trovajoli - L'amore dice ciao, bossa nova)

No, you missed it. Higher!

Now smash! Up to the net.

I was playing tennis while he was...

Only three days ago.

I still feel numb.

(man clears throat)

Oh... What a relief.

(clears throat)

Mimi...

Oh Mother, don't you ever understand?

Franco, forgive me...
but I can't seem to feel anything.

I must be a very insensitive person.

Oh, no!

I understand how you feel.

I should, who better than I.

I remember when your father,
God rest his soul...

Left us.

What horrible sandwiches.

In any case...

who can eat,
at a time like this?

(doorbell buzzes)
Excuse me.

I can.

At a time like this,
I'm damn hungry.

(mother chats in other room)

I've managed to persuade
Tony to drive you home.

Now, are you quite sure
you won't sleep here?

You've no one in your house,

didn't you tell me Maria
not to come back till tomorrow?

S0 what?

It will be marvellous,
all alone at last.

Oh.

I mean, err... without having
the maid to bother me.

Poor Mimi, you're so thin!

Don't you think it would be
a good idea to have a check-up?

- Tony here can easily...
- Certainly.

My clinic is at your service.

Come and have a check-up.

Make your mother happy.

Yes, alright.
I'll think about it, Mother.

- Don't worry about me.
- At least let Tony take you home.

- I'm ready.
- No, no, don't bother Tony. I'll take a cab.

Bye.

(shower running)

D (light music) J1
(Armando Trovajoli - L'amore dice ciao, bossa nova remix)

(hums tune)

No, I'll sleep in the maid's room.

(footsteps outside door)

(both surprised)

Signora, I didn't expect you here.

- Maria...
- Yes?

But weren't you
supposed to come back tomorrow?

- Yes but I, err...
- Never mind.

Can you go and sleep in there?

- In there?
- Yes, in my bed.

I'll sleep here tonight.

(sniffS)

Err...

It's very big, eh?

Yes, how come you've never been
to look over your domain before?

I don't know, laziness?

(laughs)

I need your signature.

I never expected to have to
take over my husband's affairs.

Where?

Here.

(filing cabinet opens)

By the way...

Naturally, you know
nothing about this, err...

Property, A.Z.?

Naturally not. Why?

Well, I've only come to know
of its existence lately.

It's an office situated
in the Via Due Torri, I believe.

Yes, Via Due Torri. Number 37.

Well, what about it?

Nothing, I cannot find any papers
which relate to this property.

No employees, no...

correspondence, n0... registration.

Only the contract with the landlord,
which dates roughly from...

Two years ago.

(chuckles)
And no one has the keys.

You know, I believe Franco used it
for err... tax evasion purposes, or err...

- Extra storage space.
- Yes.

- Cigarette?
- Aha.

What if there's someone in there?

We'll soon find out.

(recorded message)
The director is out of the office for the moment.

- Franco!
- If you wish to leave a message of
up to one minute in length, begin now.

(light, dreamy music)

(woman's voice)
Hello, Tomcat...

It's a whole week
since I've heard from you.

You're not dead
by any chance? (laughs)

Has the little saint
been monopolising you?

Little saint?
What did she mean by that?

I suppose that's me.

Well, where do I go from here?

The Tomcat is dead,
and the awful thing is I...

I still don't care.

Really, I don 't.

Oh... Everything's automatic.

Hmm.

This is a side of Franco
I never knew existed.

Well, he certainly managed
to set everything up for himself.

To your very good health, widow.

(switch clicks)

(electric motor whirrs)

Hmm, home movies.
(shocked gasp)

Oh my God!

Oh, Franco!

Who's that?

Oh! It looks like Claudia!

It is Claudia!

My best friend!

How could she?

It's ridiculous.

I lived three years with a...

a sex maniac,
and didn't even realise it!

What an idiot I am.

If he wanted to try this kind of thing,

Why didn't he try it with me?

Because he respected me.
I was his wife.

Now look at him.

Oh really, playing doctor.

Ha, I did that when I was eight.

What an imagination.

Now I know why he always
came with me when I went to the doctor's.

And I thought he was jealous!

Fool, how naive can you get?

Claudia again.

(shocked)

Poor girl!

Franco, how could you?

She must have annoyed him?

Like that time I...

No. I do believe she's enjoying it.

She is enjoying it.

The dirty...

And I helped her
choose that underwear!

He's a sadist.

(crying)

That looks like a
serious book on the subject.

- Hmm?
- You like it?

It's very exciting.

If you want,
I have other... books.

Even better, with pictures...

No thank you.

- How much is it?
- 2,000.

If you're interested in sex,

I have some pictures, hmm?

I'm sure.

- Just this.
- Yes, thank you.

Hmm.

- Goodbye.
- Mm-hmm.

Science has torn away the veil of mystery...

from the side of sex which
has always been regarded as strange,

and revealed that in this enlightened age,

there is no longer any reason
to regard perversions as uncommon.

(telephone rings)

(sighs)
Where was I?

Perversions...

"Nihil admirari", the ancient Latin motto,

has more meaning today than...

(Mother's voice on phone)
Hello? Mimi, are you there?

Mimi, answer me this minute!

Yes, Mother?

- What are you doing?
- Studying.

- What?
- Psyho...

Latin.

- You need a check-up.
- No Mother, I don't need a check-up.

You, you do.
- All right, Mother.

When?
- You fix it with Tony. Goodbye, Mother!

In this chapter, we will deal with the confessions of...
of people who derive their pleasure...

from the inflicting of injuries,
obscene language, and even murder.

Murder?

According to Binet's
"Le fétichisme dans l'amour",

erotic stimulation is often
derived from inanimate objects.

These are called "fetishes",
or "love objects".

People can also have fetishes for parts of...

parts of the human body,
such as ears, nose, hair, feet.

Or a physical liability
such as crossed eyes or a limp.

The inanimate objects commonly
include articles of feminine attire,

such as handkerchiefs,
underwear, shoes.

There are those who enjoy
drinking from a loved-one's shoe.

J1 (upbeat music) J1
(Armando Trovajoli - II Profeta)

Ciao, Sandro.
Were you watching me?

- Clients to lunch.
- Aha.

- Would you like a drink?
- No, I must take a shower first.

Listen, I've got an idea.

Why don't we dine together tonight?

It will take your mind off things.

Forget everything that's happened, hmm?

It would... do you good.

(children's laughter)

(laughs)

I didn't realise I said
anything especially funny!

(giggles)
No, you didn't. I'm sorry.

Not this evening.

I have to...

to study.

Oh, by the way,
I found the key to the A.Z. office.

Let's go have a look together?

What about tomorrow afternoon?

- Five o'clock be alright?
- Sure.

(soft music)

With moonlight soft...

Music in a minor key.

The principle tricks
of the provincial seducer.

- Mimi, I...
- Ah. Come on.

You haven't seen anything yet.

Or have you been here before?

Maybe more than once?

The only thing your husband
and I shared was business.

We can easily find out.

Everything here is on record.

Like it?

The price includes the hall of mirrors,

and a bed that
wives don't sleep in.

- Nice, hmm?
- Mmm. Very.

And here is the entire list,
with an index.

- An index?
- Yes.

Claudia, Julia, Marjorie,
Mrs Thompson, Valerie.

- Who's Valerie?
- Don't ask me.

Oh, she has a very high score.

Let's see.

Imagination 28,
experience 30, willingness 30+.

Mimi, you mustn't take
all this so badly.

It's only natural that he... that...

And for your information,
I'm not here.

- You're not where?
- Here, in this wretched index.

D0 you wanna be?
Good God, you were his wife!

Yes, of course.
Not the wife!

She's respectable, isn't she?

You can have fun
with the others, but the wife?

Were you bored with each other?

You and Franco?

I don't know about him.

But I was.

And the silliest thing
of all is that...

I didn't realise it.

You know...

Franco was the
only man I'd known.

Ancl I'd always thought that...

What we had together, I mean...

What there was between us was...

(loud slap) - Ooh!
- Mimi!

Mimi, you're a big girl now.

I did nothing to hurt you.

I can't go around
with my eyes closed.

Mimi.

(chuckles)

(sneezes)

- Bless you.
- Thank you.

You're as bad as Franco.

You all are.

(Mimi sighs)

(sniffS)

Why Sandro...

- What are you doing?
- Undressing you.

What are you doing

Caressing you.

What are you dong?

Undressing.

Now I suppose he'll
ask me to forgive him.

Mimi...

I don't know what came over me.

- Hmm.
- Err...

Please forgive me.

I feel very sorry.

Ifeel...

like a criminal, honestly.

Mimi?

Mimi, please listen to me.

Mimi!

Why don't you listen to me?

Oh, what are you talking about, huh?

I said forgive me.

I feel like a worm.

You know, Franco was my best friend.

- Mimi!
- Forget about that!

Now, let's get down to business.

What do I score?

- What?
- Come on, you heard what I said.

- I want to know what I score?
- You must be crazy.

And no favouritism, hmm?

So...

Let's start with...

Expeflence.

The truth?

The truth.

Ah, not very high.

Let's say... 20.

Just to be encouraging.

- Imagination?
- Oh, could be better.

Still a little... inhibited.

24, but that's generous.

Hmm!

Willingness?

Exceptional.

Full marks with honours.

And if you let me,

I'll reward you,
but not with a diploma.

No, I won't let you!

- Mimi...
- Now listen to me carefully, Sandro.

Don't start getting difficult.

You did not seduce me.

- I didn't?
- N0.

I seduced you.

Boll describes in detail the case
of an unusually passionate epileptic,

who, at the height of his pleasure,
bit the nose off his wife and swallowed it.

Ahh!

I'm sorry Mimi, but this time I'm afraid
I'm going to have to make you suffer a little.

Oh? Are you by
any chance a sadist?

Now Mimi, you know...

a doctor has to be able to...

detach himself from...

other people's pain, or else...

change his profession.

Open please.

(drill starts up)
Well... don't detach yourself
too much for my sake.

Don't talk with
your mouth full, hmm?

(drill starts up)
Oooh...

- Arghh!
- Now Mimi, stop that!

Don't be silly or you'll hurt yourself.

(drill starts up)

Ohh... Argh... Ohh!

Mimi, don't wriggle.

Please.

Look where your detachment ended up.

Now now... detachment from other
people's suffering I said. Not my own.

Hmm. Your suffering?

- Mimi, don't provoke me.
- Why not?

Will he tell his wife
he had a hard day's work?

Now, aren't you supposed
to resist, or something?

Why should I?

I'd hate to have to look
for another dentist.

There's such a convenient
place to park outside.

Great shot!

You're really getting good,
I'll make you a champ yet!

(Whip cracks)

(Whip cracks)

(Whip cracks)

Remember to keep your knees bent. Ready?

- Are you tired?
- Aha.

I've worn you out, eh?

(Tennis Instructor singing in shower)
J1 I'm the strongest man in the world... J1

D La la la la la la la la... J1

J1 They call me La la la... J1

D They call me the strongest man in the world... J1

D La la la la la la la la... J1

J1 I'm the strongest man in the world... J1

D I'm the strongest man in the world. J1

- Hello.
- Huh?

B-b-but signora,
this is the Men's shower.

Show me.

- But signora, I'm in training.
- Oh...

I'm in training.

Help!

MEN

An interesting fact from the point of view
of these physiological relations

is a certain histological concordance
between the nose and other erogenous zones.

It has been observed that sexual excitement

often manifests itself in the
accompanying phenomena of nasal irritation,

causing violent...

SI766Z6S.

(loud sneeze)

And for three years,
I've been having shots for hay fever!

Hay fever!

(busy traffic)

(engine cuts out)

Oh, damn.

Ciao!

Hello. Wanna take a ride?

Thanks, I was waiting.

Well, I'm sorry if I'm late
but I've been busy.

(laughs)

I wonder what men like this do with girls
who walk the streets for a living?

(slap)

(slap)

He's not bad looking.

Alright.

You're forgiven.

But next time,
don't keep me waiting.

- Hey, are you out of your skull?
- N0.

Well, maybe.

- What difference does it make?
- None, none!

- Well, thank you.
- Oh...

(gasps)
Oh... Oh no.

- I wasn't expecting.
- What an actress!

Well... can't say it wasn't worth it.

- Well, thank you.
- Ciao, baby.

Be a good girl!

To Viale Parioli.

(taxi engine starts up)

(laughs)

J1 (party music) J1
(Armando Trovajoli - Fiorella with the Umbrella)

Ciao, my clear.

Well, I'm glad you brought
your hair with you, eh?

Good evening.

I understand.
You did it for revenge.

What if I did?

In other words, it was me
because I happened to be on hand.

You didn't really care who it was.

- So?
- Will you see me again?

No, I won't see you again.

What do you care?

Me or someone else.

The traffic that
passes through that...

- pleasuredrome of yours.
- Hmm...

Are you having me watched?

Poor Sandro.

You are taking it badly.

(party chatter and laughter)

- You are a slut!
- Hmm.

- Anyone would do with me.
- Yes.

Anyone but you.

And that drives you mad, eh?

Like that
programme on television.

Thirty seconds to answer,
and the first answer is the one that counts.

Do you want to marry me?

Oh Mimi, what ever's
got into your head?

G0 on, I want to know. Honestly.

I'm not the kind you'd marry?

That is, not anymore.

I didn't say that.

(Mimi chuckles)

But that's what you meant.

Franco believed that there
were two kinds of women.

Wives, and other women.

Now I'm not a wife anymore, so...

- Mimi, how are you?
- Fine.

Now which category
does Claudia belong to?

The kind you marry?

To her husband.
But the kind you don't to mine.

(giggms)

May I be permitted
to share the joke with you?

(Mimi sneezes)

- Bless you.
- Thank you.

Thank you.
What a cruel face.

- Do we know each other?
- We were introduced.

Then we do.

I work in Africa.

- That's interesting.
- Why?

Because I've never
clone anything interesting.

That's interesting.

(Fabrizio) Erm, my father-in-Iaw
is looking for you.

Will you excuse me?
That's why I'm here.

- Yes, certainly.
- Thank you.

- How have you been?
- Fine.

Mavl?

- T0 Mimi.
- But I...

To Mimi.

I'm serious.

Thank you.
That's very sweet.

Friend of the family,
and husband of your best friend.

- Fabrizio!
- No honestly, I admire you.

I can admire you, can't I?

Like a father?

Well, uncle?

Or brother, if you like?

Alright, but no incest.

Be careful,
he goes overboard very easily.

Has he told you
he'd like to be your brother?

No.

After that,
he sends flowers usually.

Ancl sometimes goes as
far as nocturnal phone calls.

But that's where it ends,
because by then he's already met another.

Luckily, we know masses of people.

I'm dreading the clay
when he starts on strangers.

We ought to see
more of each other, you and I.

Yes, we should.

If for no other reason than
that we're both widows of sorts.

Your dress is quite delicious.

- So is yours, Claudia.
- Really?

It's a Denise original.

She's the only person I go to now.

You ought to come with me sometime.

She's preparing a new line
which comes out in the autumn.

- Her style would suit you, I know.
- I'd love to.

- You're religious?
- What?

Oh, this?

Have a closer look.

I always wear it,
it's rather special.

Oh, how original.
It's a beetle.

- Are they supposed to be lucky?
- In a certain sense.

- If one likes little creatures.
- It's lovely.

- But it's alive!
- Yes, very much so when he's awake.

My God, you'd think
she was in love with it.

(gun shots)

Claudia...

He's pleasing, pity he
seems to sleep most of the time.

What are you doing?

You wear him for a while.
I'll lend him to you.

I...

I'd be afraid of squashing it.

Don't worry about him.
He's only an insect.

One's the same as another.
Like men, no?

In Italy, they have excellent wine
ancl a dubious educational system...

both of which you
have to admit are expensive.

What rubbish you talk.

(group laughs)

When you get on your hobbyhorse,
nobody can get you off.

Shall we... start again?

Mm-hmm.

(Fabrizio)
Russian education's good.

- You're right.
- Don't you agree?

But not the one.

- Are you two friends?
- Almost.

He's already asked
if he can take me home.

D (light music) J1
(Armando Trovajoli - L'amore dice ciao, waltz theme)

D0 you live here?

In a manner of speaking.

Ah, you don't live here.

No.

(fabric tears)
(surprised gasp)

(loud slap)
(surprised gasp)

(loud slaps and gasps)

(gasps)

Come on, fight back!

(fabric rips)
Fight back, damn you!

- Come on, fight me!
- N0!

Fight back, damn you!
(screams)

Come on!
(struggling and screams)

- Come on!
- Let me go!

Dam“ You, 9o 0n!
(gasps)

(cries and struggles)

N0!

(crieS)

(gasps and cries)

(cries stop)

(fabric rips)

(sighs of pleasure)

What was it Mother used to say?

If you can't avoid it,
relax and enjoy it.

(sighs)
Oh, Mother!

Were you in a particular hurry,
or do you always do this?

I enjoy it.

As a child, I used to tear
all my schoolbooks to shreds.

Then how did you manage
to get your degree?

I changed the object
of my desires in time.

You don't enjoy it, do you?

Don't bother to answer.
(glass chinks)

Pity, you could be good.
But you won't abandon yourself.

You're right.

It's always been like that.

I don't enjoy making love.

Is that possible?

And I hate being slapped and insulted.

It's as good as any other way of...

I don't care for having my brand new
evening dress torn to bits either, thank you.

But there are people
who enjoy being hurt.

I prefer to hurt.

Of course...

if you loved me, maybe you could learn
to enjoy this kind of thing, with practice.

Well...

Maybe I could try to love you.

(laughs)
No no no, there's no need.

I'm going to Africa.

I thought you knew that?

Well, I could come with you, couldn't I?

Ah ah... I'll be very busy there,
I haven't time.

Besides, I'm not your type.

What's this,
an example of pop-art?

No, it's the only money
I ever earned in my life.

It's a kind of... souvenir.

Well...

Ciao.

Well, ciao, whatever your name was.

I never did find out.

Funny.

After such a brief
but violent acquaintance,

I think you know me
better than I know myself.

Does anyone ever
really know himself?

Poor little thing.

I saved you from the fury
of that brute last night.

A man confessed that as a youth,
he was attracted to a parrot.

He remembers what difficulty he had in
attempting to kiss it, without getting pecked.

Animals are commonly employed
for superficial stimulation.

The smaller they are
the less they are capable of.

My poor, foolish little lover.
All you can do is tickle.

I don't even know if
you're a boy or a girl beetle.

(maid, surprised)
What is it? It tickles!

D0 you like it Maria?

It's frightful!
(shrieks)

What about it Maria,
tell me, hmm?

Don't be silly, it's only a beetle.

Pull the sheet down,
I'll tickle you, OK?

No, please, its revolting!

It doesn't matter.

I suppose that
you and Aurelio... play around?

D0 you ever try anything different?

What does he do?
(sobs)

- He's a plumber.
- I know that.

Well, come on...

Tell me.

What does he do?

Does he pinch you?

Does he pinch you or not?

Does he beat you?

He doesn't beat you?

N0!

(crieS)

No one sees you anymore,
no one hears from you.

Your girlfriends call me
asking for news of you.

Frankly, I don't know what to tell them.

Well, don't tell them anything.

What's happening to you, Mimi?

I don't understand you.

What's passed is past.

Now you've got to come back to life.

You're young, pretty.

You've lost weight, too.

You don't want to end up
in a convent, do you?

No, it's not what I had in mind.

- Well, you absolutely have to...
- Signora!

Ijust finished the work I came to do.

Well, who are you?
What do you want?

Well, I straightened the pipe in the tank.

How dare you!

G0! G0 away at once!

Can't you see?

Yes, I can.
I don't need glasses.

Oh Mother, I don't understand
why you get so upset.

It's only Aurelio, the plumber.

Mimi. You don't realise.

He's one of the family.
He's Maria's fiancé.

I'm going to call Tony this minute,
and arrange for your check-up.

- I think you need it.
- Mm-hmm.

Nice fiancée you have.

What is it, Maria?

These flowers have just been delivered.

Mmm.
(giggles)

Fabrizio.

- I beg your pardon, signora?
- Nothing.

Poor Fabrizio.

According to Claudia,
the next move will be a nocturnal phone call.

Oh, Mimi. My Dear.

Excuse me,
but I'm alone in the house.

Claudia's not coming back till late,
didn't you know?

Of course I did, stupid.
I made the appointment for her.

- Are you going to send me away?
- No. No no no, come in.

I was just about to make
myself some tea.

Today is the maid's clay off, you know?

I know,
that's why I chose Sunday.

- Would you like a cup?
- Sorry, you were saying?

(chuckles)
If you'd like a cup?

Mm-hmm.
(Fabrizio chuckles)

But I won't be
responsible for the result.

(both chuckle)

- Wait just a minute.
- Mm-hmm.

(giggms)

Now I suppose he'll ask me
if I received his roses.

(chuckles smugly)

Did you get my roses?

I've been waiting in vain
for your nocturnal phone call.

You've been listening to Claudia again.

Isn't that your standard technique?

Now, Mimi. Mimi.

Please, don't joke with me. Please?

Here you can see the hand of an artist.

Did you create it all by yourself?

Almost all of it, yes.

Tell me something.

Did Franco know nothing of all this?

Why don't you ask him?

Or your wife.

Sorry.

I didn't want to be indiscreet.

Life's too short to waste even
a second of it, don't you think?

Yes, you're so right.

Ancl there are very few people who
accept the challenge of their desires.

I'd like you...

to meet a girl friend of mine.

She's an extraordinary girl, and err...

If you like,
we could invite her here one day.

Now we begin to see the real Fabrizio.

How about tomorrow?

(suspenseful marimba music)

If she makes the tiniest scratch
I'll scream, I swear it!

G0 on, scream you silly girl!

(feeble scream)

You can scream far louder than that!

(proper scream)

I'm here! Leave her alone.

Miserable savage!

Beast of the jungle.

Drop that knife!

Or I'm gonna let you have it.

(gunshot)
(shrieks)

(whip cracks)
Arghh...

That's it, yes, yes.

(Whip cracks)

Oh, yes. Ahh... ahh...

N0, n0...

(whip cracks)
Yes, oh...

Here, right here.
Give it to me harder!

Faster. Ohh...

Faster, oh... lovely.

You... you beast!

(whip cracks)
Beast! Yes...

Stop it! Stop it!

Mimi!

- But what's the matter?
- That's enough.

What are you doing?

It's only strawberry jam.

You're a...

- You're nothing but a whore.
- Fabrizio...

Your wife's best friend?

I hope you remembered
not to have any breakfast?

- You mean you forgot?
- Mmm.

- N0?
- Mm-hmm.

Yes or no?
(mumbles)

- I mean I didn't.
- Forget?

Err, no.

Well, it's very important.

A certain analysis.

Come on,
I'll hand you over to my team.

D (light music) J1
(Armando Trovajoli - L'amore dice ciao)

(Doctor)
Don't worry, almost over.

Vampire.

Hands up. That's it.

Let's get this hair out of the way.

Closer.

Keep 'em UP-

This one's more like
a bank robber.

Don't breathe.

(switches and dials click)

Excuse me.

Don't breathe.

(dials click)

Now breathe.

Would you take the rest
of your clothing off?

(electrical whirring)

(sneezes)

Feel cold? Never mind.

He's detached
from his patient alright.

Well.

You can move over here now.

Ow!

Didn't you see the step?

Does it look as if I saw it?

As a matter of fact,
I was trying to commit suicide, doctor.

Now let's see.

(whimpers)
Do you feel pain?

A bit.

Nothing broken, I'd say.

But since you're here,
we'll have it x-rayed.

- Can you stand?
- I don't know, I'll try.

(whimpers)

- My right ankle is agony.
- Agony? Hmm.

I'll carry you.

What are you doing?

Aren't you going to
take me in your arms?

Haven't you ever read
the manual of First Aid.

I will, as soon as I finish the
book of the month club choice, I promise.

The person doing the carrying
must be able to see where he is going,

otherwise he might wind up as a patient too.

Hang on.

- You're very light.
- S0 I'm told.

Giddy up.
That's a boy.

- Huh?
- Nothing.

(sneezes)

(sneezes again)

Many literary works describe Phillida
riding on the back of Aristotle.

An ancient poem contains this passage:

Phillida refused to part
with her virginity for money,

so she willingly agreed
to comply with another whim.

Taking down the saddle from the wall,
she mounted it on his back

and he, content, allowed her to
ride him up and down the garden.

Signora, the professor is here.

Who? Oh alright Maria, show him in.

(storm brewing)

Sit down, Tony.

S0, how long do I have to live?

Probably forever.

You're as healthy as a horse.
How's the ankle?

Funny clinic you have, where people
come in healthy and go out crippled.

It's not the only one, believe me.

Mavl?

It hurts, eh?
Ancl this weather doesn't help.

After all, anything that
was good enough for Aristotle.

Yes. It's terribly hot.

Actually, Tony...

I'd be very grateful if you could carry me
out to the terrace for a breath of fresh air.

Er? Ah, yes.
Carry you in my arms.

No Tony, never take a patient in your arms.

Haven't you read the First Aid manual?

The person doing the carrying
must be able to see where he's going,

or he might wind up as a patient too.

You surprise me.

- How then?
- On your back.

Ride...

- Ride a Cockhorse?
- Sure!

LJp!

Your mother's right.

- You've never grown up.
- My mother was right.

Ahh.
(giggles)

No, no, please.
Once round the terrace.

You're out of your...
your mind!

Out here, on the terrace?

But we can be seen!

Go on Tony, no one's
round in this weather.

This weather, they're right!

(door slams shut)
Hey, what are you doing?

(thunderstorm brewing)

No, please Tony!
Don't be mean, that's not fair!

Maria!
(thunder)

Come on, Mimi!
Call Maria.

It wouldn't do any good,
she wouldn't hear me.

Then I'll call her.

(loud thunder)
Maria!

(laughs)

I guess you're right.

Sorry.

(heavy rain)
Ahh, rain!

(laughter)

Where can we shelter?

I don't want to shelter.
Take me for a ride.

- What?
- Just take me for a ride.

- Where?
- Round the terrace.

G0 on, let's go Aristotle!

- Aristotle?
- Yes!

What's Aristotle
got to do with it, Mimi?

- Mmmmm
- You need a psychiatrist!

Ohhh... Ahhh...

How did you get in this situation?

(sighs)

- Blackmail. How could you?
- Well, what does it matter?

He wasn't just any old plumber.

- He's Maria's fiancée.
- Mimi...

Maria's always so happy.

Content.

Ijust wanted to find out why.

Mimi, please be serious.
This concerns you.

I cannot understand
what's got into you.

Throwing yourself away like this.

Mimi, you're sick.
You need a cure.

Well...

Maybe I really am a whore?

Every so often,
someone tells me so.

But the strange thing is
that they call me one

only when I say "no".

Or when I stop saying "yes".

Isn't that funny?

You already had one
going in the ashtray.

Listen, don't get
me involved in this.

It's not included
in my professional duties.

You're right.

But how was I to know
what kind of man he was?

And you're the
only one I can turn to.

Well, from now on,
you'll have to manage on your own.

And try to be a...
little more discreet.

A little more discerning
in your choice of company.

I swear I will.

From now on, it's lawyers
and other professional men only.

Obviously, for a thorough examination,
we require two cameras.

Please pay attention.

One camera to x-ray
from the top of the patient,

and the other camera
to be used from behind.

Why doesn't he say bottom?

Signora, drink your soup.

- It's getting cold.
- Yes, hmm.

Signor Maldini called.

Did you tell him I was asleep?

- Er yes, but he...
- He didn't believe you?

- No signora.
- Alright, just continue to tell him.

Mm-hmm.

The thermo-electric tube
is attached to the...

- Excuse me...
- Yes?

There is a mistake
there under that thing.

I imagine you are referring
to the thermo-electric tube?

Mmm. It...

It can't be "C" if the
energy of "K Level" is eq...

equalton.

- I hope you don't mind?
- Hmm.

Presumably, this is the first
of these classes you've attended?

Mm-hmm, yes.

- D0 you have a name?
- Err...

Delleani. Mimi Delleani.

- Mimi?
- Oh, I'm sorry. Margherita.

I wonder if you'd
recognise my x-rays?

Signorina Delleani...

Signorina Delleani...

- Are you deaf?
- N0.

Are you busy?

Will you do a little research
for me in the library?

- Well, actually I...
- Yes or no?

- Yes.
- Good.

J1 (jovial music) J1
(Armando Trovajoli - L'amore dice ciao)

Aren't you hungry?
Oh, sorry.

It's nearly half past two.
Aren't you famished?

You like studying?

Well... yes.

You gave it up for a reason?

I married.

- And now?
- Widow.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- You're early, signora.
- Take these, Maria.

Oh, what lovely flowers.

(Maria giggles)

Sandro Maldini.

When are you going to finish
this interminable sleeping cure?

Did err Mr. Maldini telephone again?

Oh, almost every clay.

I always tell him exactly what
you told me to, that signora is sleeping.

Alright, you continue to say that.

And this, what's this Maria?

It was delivered an hour ago.

"Galileo Galilei"

Ahh, my professor.

At last, things are
beginning to happen.

Slowly, but surely.

The weekend's coming up.

Tomorrow will be Saturday.

- Right?
- Aha.

I mentioned some excavations.

What excavations?
Oh yes, I remember.

Well, I'd like to drive the car
down there and have a look this weekend.

Mmm, that's a very good idea.

It's a pretty place.

Ille is a very important
example of its time.

A doctor whose
hobby is archaeology.

You're gonna need
patience and fortitude.

What did you say?

- Shall we go together?
- I'd love to.

It'll mean spending the night?

N0 0ne'll wait up for me.

Fine.

J1 (jovial music) J1
(Armando Trovajoli - L'amore dice ciao)

Hmm. It's only a pile of old rocks.

It's a very rare example.

Of its period.

I'm sure it's important
to history and architecture,

but when do we get to biology?

(horse neighs)

Ahhh... oooh.

(cries in mock pain)
Didn't you see the step?

It's a weak ankle.
I slipped on a loose stone.

Let's see.

(feigns pain)

You pulled a tendon, that's all.

Try to stand on it.

Ow.

- Oh, no.
- N0?

If he says one word
about the First Aid manual...

Come on,
what are you waiting for?

I'll bite him!

LJp!

Now tell me I'm light.

You're very light.

It's a good thing, it's a long way.

To the car, you know?

Phillida knew what she
was up to with Aristotle.

Are you quite sure
we haven't already met?

Um... I've never been so sure
of anything in my life.

I'm sorry, but we only have
a room with twin beds, sir.

Is there another hotel?
Can we telephone?

At Agropoli, twenty miles
from here, and the road's bad.

The only telephone is in the post office,
but that's closed at this hour.

That's alright,
we'll take a double room.

You're tired, me too.

I'll sleep in the car.

Don't even consider it.
There's no need.

(clears throat)

Professor, I'm ready.

- D0 you want to read?
- No thank you.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Good night.

Shall I turn out the light?

- Aha, go ahead.
- I will.

Oh!

- Good night.
- Good night.

- I'll turn out the light.
- Mmm.

- Are you asleep yet?
- N0.

Listen, do you mind if I ask you
something important?

If you like.

I get the impression
that you fell over...

in my radiology room.

Mm-hmm.

You know, I'm not
enrolled at the university.

I never was.

Ancl I worked like a slave for a week
to memorise all those formulas.

But that's enough.

That's all over.

Hmm?

(car engine running)

- Mimi.
- Yes?

When will you marry me?

Look, you're under no obligation.

Do I seem obligated?

- No, but...
- But?

You hardly know me.

- In the biblical sense I know you.
- Oh, don't joke about it.

I'm serious.

I'm not the sort of person you think I am.
Like to hear the story of my life?

- From when you were a little girl?
- N0, from when I grew up.

- Have you a liaison?
- N0.

- Are you in love with anyone else?
- N0, no one.

- Well then.
- Is there nothing worse than that?

No.

I don't think so.

If you're hot,
I'll turn on the cooler.

Don't stop!

Don't stop I said, don't stop.
Don't you understand?

Would you mind telling me
what you're doing?

I want to make a scandal.

I want you to find out
what kind of a woman I am.

Remember Lady Godiva?

Yes, she stripped in order to force
her husband to do something or other.

But er...

Her hair was longer than yours.

Hmm.

What's the matter?

You starting to worry about your position?

- Can I help you?
- No thank you, I can manage.

(car skids loudly to a halt)

- What are you doing?
- I need gas.

You're keeping your panties on?

Do you really want gas?

I don't want it exactly.

I need it. We're on reserve.

J1 (pop song plays softly) J1
(Marisa Galvan - Se te ne vai)

- Fill her up.
- Right away, sir.

Don't you want to serve me?

Hey, Gino.
Clean the windshield.

Alright, alright.

I can't be in two places at once.
Keep your shirt on.

I feel like a coffee.
Would you like to join me at the bar?

N0?

- Would you like it with sugar, sir?
- Yes, thank you.

J1 (pop song continues, loudly) J1
(Marisa Galvan - Se te ne vai)

Excuse me.

D (light music) J1
(Armando Trovajoli - L'amore dice ciao, waltz theme)

Wake up, we've arrived now Mimi.

When will you marry me, Mimi?

Not until I've slept
for at least twelve hours.

When will you marry me, Mimi?

(Mimi sighs)

If you want a reply to your question,

be at Via Due Torri, number 37
tomorrow morning at twelve o'clock precisely.

There's no porter,

but as the scriptures say,
"Knock, and it shall be opened unto you".

- Here.
- No, no keep it, you'll catch cold.

I don't need that to keep warm.

D (light music) J1
(Armando Trovajoli - L'amore dice ciao, slow take)

- Good evening.
- Evening.

Signora. Signora.
It's 1O o'clock.

- 1O o'clock when?
- 1O o'clock today I imagine.

Yes, I imagine so.

- Mr Maldini is waiting.
- On the telephone?

N0, in there.
He's been there an hour.

I told him you were asleep but he gave me
a funny look and I said it was true this time.

He said he wanted to see you,
and sat down.

He's been there ever since.

Alright, you tell him
I'll be in right away.

Your dress, signora.
Where did you leave it?

Er, somewhere between
Caserta and Frosinone I think.

I realise that you're
proposing a very sensible contract.

Busy mature man, tired of chasing the
young fillies ancl a pleasant young widow

of good background,
and lousy reputation.

Convenient relationship
with no risk for either party.

Put it any way you like.
The truth is, I can't go on without you.

How long will you give me?

What's holding you back?

- The professor?
- Ah, you know that too?

S0 you're still having me watched?

I'm leaving.
In fifteen clays, so...

S0 you want me to decide right away?

I have so little time,
but don't worry.

I could look after your visas,

but you have to be vaccinated for
cholera, typhoid, smallpox, yellow fever.

It takes time.

- I can give you three clays, no more.
- Three clays?

- D0 you want my passport?
- It would be a good idea.

- No obligation?
- No obligation.

That's enough.

- Satisfied?
- Mm-hmm.

It might win a prize
at the Venice Festival.

This kind of film is very
"in" at the moment.

Well.

I want to know your reply.

- When do we get married?
- Ohh!

What are you,
mad, stupid or blind?

- Did you have your glasses on for the film?
- Yes, I always wear my glasses when I go to the cinema.

Didn't you see the sweet girl of your heart,
doing more than Salomé ever dreamed of?

Yes, I did. I saw the
sweet girl of my heart.

Making love with strange companions let's say.

Diverse ways that er...

That er...

Illustrated a fertile imagination.

You hate imagination, eh?

No, I wouldn't say that.

Particularly when
it's applied to family life.

There's a good deal to be said
for fantasy in the home you know...

wouldn't you agree?

- You don't really mean that, do you?
- Yes, I'm quite serious.

The most exciting lover a girl
could possibly have is her own husband.

Oh really? Now judge me!

Well, I guess you
had a reason for doing that.

I did it because I felt like doing it.

- Now that's an excellent idea.
- What?

To destroy everything in this place.

No, not that!
It's valuable.

(loud smash)

(chuckles)

(loud smash)

(laughs)

- When will you marry me, Mimi?
- Leave me alone!

(vinyl snaps)

When are you going to
answer my question?

Eh?

D0 you think I'm going to
sit around darning your socks?

- Why not?
- Or ironing your shirts?

Why not? Marry me.

That's becoming a fixation.

(screams)
What are you doing?

Something that should have
been clone a long time ago!

(loud slaps)
When will you marry me!

Mimi!

I have no intention of being
faithful to you for the rest of my life.

- Well nobody asked you to.
- No?

You don't want me
to be faithful to you?

I'm ready to run the risk.

- When?
- Never!

When?

(SObs)

(loud slap)

When?

Alright, you win.

When?

There's still something
you don't know.

You're terrifying me, Mimi.

Did you murder your first husband?

N0, worse.

(sniffles)

(Carlo) You see, there was
no need to be nervous.

- It was a beautiful ceremony.
- Yes, it was.

(Mimi)
But I couldn't wait for them all to go.

(Carlo)
Impatient, eh?

Are you sure you don't mind?

No, of course not.
Everyone has his own thing.

- If you read Freud, you'll see...
- Do you think that this is quite the moment?

Well, let me see.
Freud explains it like this.

He says modern civilisation is based on...

the repressions of natural instincts.

That's the basis
of Man's unhappiness.

Women's too, don't you think?

No, when I speak of Man,
I mean humanity.

Hup!

Hup, hUP!

And sex, Mimi...

Sex... should be taken lightly.

It should make you happy.

Don't you think so?

The whole thing depends
on an attitude of mind, you see.

It requires...

richness of invention,

and absolute sincerity.

In other words truth.

Come on, my brave stallion.

You have to learn to love life.

Treat it like a game.

You can have fun.

Ancl you should.

Are you tired?

Oh, no. N0 no.

I can keep it up for
another five minutes.

- Keep it up as long as you can.
- Yes.

Finding the right one.

(groans)

It's as simple as that!

(L'amore dice ciao - Andee Silver - English version)
J1 Don't let love go away J1

J1 I'll say I'm sorry J1

J1 You say you'll understand J1

J1 I know that I hurt you J1

J1 Pretend it never happened J1

J1 It was only a dream J1

J1 A new day is just dawning J1

J1 Now's our chance to begin J1

J1 To take off where we left off J1

J1 Lovers racing to win J1

J1 I'll never change my life J1

J1 As long as I may live, you'll see J1

J1 You're the only one for me J1

J1 If you want me J1

D You'll never be denied J1

J1 Anything you ask, I'll do J1

J1 My heart belongs to only you J1

J1 If you want me J1

J1 Pretend it never happened J1

J1 It was only a dream J1

J1 A new day is just dawning J1

J1 Now's our chance to begin J1

J1 To take off where we left off J1

J1 Lovers racing to win J1

J1 I'll never change my life J1

J1 As long as I may live, you'll see J1

J1 You're the only one for me J1

J1 If you want me J1

D You'll never be denied J1

J1 Anything you ask, I'll do J1

Subtitles by Marc Morris
© 2020 Nucleus Films Ltd.