Original subtitles

Wow. Douchebag.

- Hello? - Dude, why are you still at the party?

You were supposed to be here by now.

Okay, dude, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's fine, it's fine.

I just... Jake? Hello...

Jake, I'm FaceTiming you.

Hey, Andy!

Brad?

Bummer, dude, I heard about your license.

You lost it, right?

- No, I... - Dude, just... just think back.

"Where was the last place that I remember having it?"

- Right? - Right.

- Yeah. - Yeah, thanks for the advice, Brad.

- Yeah, man. - Hey, man,

could you possibly get Jake for me?

Oh yeah, dude, of course, bro.

Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake!

Dude, what the...

J...

Jake!

- Oh my God, did you see that? - Dude...

- Yeah, dude! - Did you see that?

Jake, dude, what the hell?

Jake, why did you tell Brad I lost my license?

Dude, Brad is not that bad. I mean, he's actually a good dude.

He's just like a people person.

Why haven't you left yet, man?

Dude, I was sobering up for you.

Dude, you're playing beer pong.

Yeah, and we just swept them.

- My last drink was like an hour ago, man. - Okay, okay, Jake.

Jake, listen to me. Listen to me, man, listen.

- Okay, I'm listening. - Okay?

- Yes! - Okay, if anyone asks,

my car was stolen, okay?

By the Domino's near Canyon.

- What? - All right, I'm messing it up

so it'll look... it'll look like it's been stolen.

What? What are you talking about?

Jake, and if anybody asks, you were driving.

Is that why you just... you just posted that bullshit Instagram story?

Dude, I literally...

I'm gonna go to jail, man. This is the worst day of my life.

- Dude, this is, like, fucked, man. - Dude, I know, I know.

It's so messed up. It's messed up, but hey.

Jake, this isn't just about me and Dana, okay?

This is...

Tomorrow's my dad's birthday.

Tomorrow's not your dad's birthday.

New Year's Day?

Yes.

Damn.

Um... okay.

Jake, hello...

Jake, hello?

Dude?

- Yeah. - Jake?

Dude, are you still coming?

Fucking 45 minutes away, okay? Bye.

- Dude. - Yeah, see you soon, bye.

Thank you so... dude, thank...

All right. Stolen car.

Hey, guys, it's your boy, Tony J.

All right, today, me and my brother Kyle

are gonna show you how to hotwire a car.

In this case, it's our 2002 Toyota Tundra.

All right, Kyle.

All right, slip down ahead and cut the ignition wires here.

There's a bunch of these big free suckers right here.

They're the ones that are gonna start your car.

This blue wire controls all your accessories,

radios, everything.

So, when I touch these two wires, it'll turn on some lights.

I'm gonna twist 'em up.

And then, this black wire, the hot wire,

is gonna start the car.

- And there she goes. - There you have it.

Hey, Mom.

It's me, Lionel.

What? Lionel, what... What are you doing with Mom's phone?

I'm in Uncle Jeff's car. We're almost at Claim Jumper.

If you see a call from me, don't answer.

- Mom stole my phone. - Wait, what?

I did it. I deleted the text.

Didn't you get the text I sent you from her phone?

That was... that was you?

I said "Got it" with a thumbs up.

So, what happened to Dad's car?

- Wait, so she... - I thought you said this was about Dana.

Yeah, wait, so she didn't...

Don't worry.

Oh, shit.

Mom?

Andy, you said this happened at the Pizza Hut, right?

Yeah... no, I mean Domino's. But hey, listen.

Did you hear me earlier when I said...

Yes, Andy, I can hear you just fine.

Okay, so you didn't call the police, did you?

- Officer Cutler, are you still there? - What?

Yes, ma'am, I'm here.

Thank you so much for your patience, Officer.

Andy, this is Officer Glen Cutler.

Hi, Andy.

The officer has some questions for you.

So, the vehicle was discovered missing

about what time, would you say?

Um... I'm not sure.

Uh, I think around 4:30. It could have been later.

Uh-huh, and when was it last seen?

I'd like to get an APB out, see if we had anyone

- in the area at the time. - Can we possibly do this later?

I really need to find a ride.

Andy!

Let's not waste Officer Cutler's time.

Not a problem, ma'am.

We can a send a car by for you, son, if you'd like.

Oh, that would be great.

No, no, no. I mean, I, uh...

thank you so much, but I really have to take care of, um...

Uh, what other information do you need from me?

It was... it was a 1986 Ford Bronco, it was white and red.

And you were driving?

- No. - What?

- Uh... - Sorry?

- Jake was driving. - Jake?

- Yeah. - Sorry, who?

Why was Jake driving?

Because I couldn't drive.

Why couldn't you drive?

Because, Mom. Because...

Why couldn't you?

I... I couldn't.

Why? Why, Andrew?

Because Dana broke up with me!

This, uh...

this really isn't my purview, folks.

Jake forgot to lock the door.

He's kind of an idiot sometimes.

Um, Officer Cutler,

could I just come into the station tomorrow morning

and make a full statement?

Does that work for you, sir?

That should be fine.

Okay, great. Thank you so much, Officer.

Okay, great, well,

that about wraps it up on my end.

We'll look forward to your visit, and, uh, yeah.

Thank you so much, Officer Cutler.

We really appreciate your help.

My pleasure. Bye now.

Well...

do you wanna talk about it?

No.

Why didn't you tell me, Andy?

Don't you know you can tell me anything?

Yeah.

Look, I'm walking into a restaurant.

Hey, Mom, wait. One more thing.

Yeah?

Um...

Lionel didn't... He didn't take the booze.

I took it.

Andy... you're more like your father than you think.

But unfortunately, you can't get your brother out of this one.

Yeah.

I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I love you.

I love you too.