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1
00:00:09,987 --> 00:00:11,657
D'oh!
2
00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:24,415
♪ Gather round, me buckos ♪
3
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:26,554
♪ A story I will tell ♪
4
00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:28,390
♪ Of a woman named Lily ♪
5
00:00:28,456 --> 00:00:30,562
♪ Who cast quite a spell ♪
6
00:00:30,628 --> 00:00:32,799
♪ It started back in Britain ♪
7
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,937
♪ It started in a pub... ♪
8
00:00:35,003 --> 00:00:36,707
(overlapping shouting)
9
00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:39,312
- She's mine.
- It's my birthday.
10
00:00:39,378 --> 00:00:41,316
She's mine.
11
00:00:41,382 --> 00:00:42,919
(bagpipes honking)
12
00:00:42,986 --> 00:00:45,692
I can't be the cause of this.
13
00:00:45,758 --> 00:00:47,562
- I'm leaving.
- MAN: Your fault!
14
00:00:47,629 --> 00:00:49,533
‐(grunts) ‐(groans)
15
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,572
♪ We were fighting over Lilyusing knife, fork and club. ♪
16
00:00:52,639 --> 00:00:55,310
That's all I got.
The rest will be spoken word.
17
00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:57,983
(guitar plays melody)
18
00:00:58,049 --> 00:00:59,519
Lily gets why we're here.
19
00:00:59,586 --> 00:01:01,255
Life is supposed to be fun.
20
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:03,059
I loved her. We all loved her.
21
00:01:03,126 --> 00:01:06,399
The way gophers love
that sweet, sweet poison.
22
00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:11,910
Every man wanted her for
the greatest reason there is.
23
00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:14,015
Lily could make life fun.
24
00:01:14,081 --> 00:01:15,551
♪ ♪
25
00:01:17,522 --> 00:01:20,628
Now everyone,
hold hands with a stranger.
26
00:01:20,695 --> 00:01:22,374
- Oh, pleased to meet you.
- (overlapping greetings)
27
00:01:22,398 --> 00:01:24,168
MAN:
How delightful.
28
00:01:24,235 --> 00:01:26,205
♪ ♪
29
00:01:26,272 --> 00:01:30,247
Lily! (giggling)
30
00:01:31,817 --> 00:01:35,223
- MAN: Good one, Lily.
- (laughter, applause)
31
00:01:39,465 --> 00:01:41,804
(clock chiming)
32
00:01:43,841 --> 00:01:45,153
- (electricity crackles)
- (cheering)
33
00:01:45,177 --> 00:01:46,345
MAN:
Thanks, Lily!
34
00:01:46,412 --> 00:01:47,782
Pub's back open!
35
00:01:47,849 --> 00:01:50,420
But like The Beatles
and balmy weather,
36
00:01:50,487 --> 00:01:52,692
she was too hot
for England to handle.
37
00:01:52,759 --> 00:01:56,099
I find you far too alluring
for the average Englishman
38
00:01:56,165 --> 00:02:00,842
and banish you to Britain's
penal colony, America.
39
00:02:03,547 --> 00:02:05,450
This is your captain speaking.
40
00:02:05,518 --> 00:02:08,056
- Will you date me?
- Sorry. No.
41
00:02:08,123 --> 00:02:11,630
Uh, okay. I'm experiencing
some emotional turbulence.
42
00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:13,333
My life is pathetic.
43
00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:16,640
Going back and forth,
back and forth.
44
00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:19,679
(crying):
I don't want to live anymore.
45
00:02:19,746 --> 00:02:24,288
WILLIE:Even the most glamorous moviestars of Hollywood bored her.
46
00:02:24,355 --> 00:02:27,161
Oh, farewell, Leo.
You're a lovely boy,
47
00:02:27,227 --> 00:02:30,968
but my heart isn't some CGI bear
for you to conquer.
48
00:02:31,035 --> 00:02:33,574
But I've completely opened
myself up to you.
49
00:02:33,641 --> 00:02:36,012
I even admitted I play
the same guy in every role.
50
00:02:36,078 --> 00:02:37,381
Marry me!
51
00:02:37,447 --> 00:02:39,051
Oh, maybe I should
go back to England.
52
00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:41,155
No. Give this country a chance.
53
00:02:41,222 --> 00:02:42,826
Don't judge us by Hollywood.
54
00:02:42,892 --> 00:02:44,563
All right,
but I'm leaving now, dear.
55
00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:45,932
You'll have to content yourself
56
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:48,269
with generic supermodels,
I'm afraid.
57
00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:50,842
Nothing ever works out for me.
58
00:02:51,777 --> 00:02:53,313
WILLIE:
She needed to get away.
59
00:02:53,379 --> 00:02:55,016
Somewhere. Anywhere.
60
00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,920
So she threw a dart.
61
00:02:56,987 --> 00:02:58,891
Hmm, what's next?
62
00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:01,897
♪ ♪
63
00:03:04,468 --> 00:03:06,205
WILLIE:
So she headed to Springfield,
64
00:03:06,272 --> 00:03:09,211
little knowing that its men
had the lowest testosterone,
65
00:03:09,278 --> 00:03:12,719
not counting the Columbia
University football team.
66
00:03:12,785 --> 00:03:16,425
Lily wanted peace,
but the best‐laid plans...
67
00:03:16,492 --> 00:03:18,162
(babbles)
68
00:03:18,229 --> 00:03:20,433
Can't understand me? Too bad.
69
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,337
I'm your narrator.
70
00:03:22,404 --> 00:03:24,174
Do not tell me...
71
00:03:24,241 --> 00:03:26,445
(babbling)
72
00:03:27,347 --> 00:03:28,884
Hmm.
73
00:03:28,951 --> 00:03:31,823
The only thing worse
than when you guys yap
74
00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:33,861
is you sitting here
all quiet and sullen.
75
00:03:33,928 --> 00:03:36,600
I ain't sullen, I'm lachrymose.
76
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:39,973
Oh, why did I give him
that stupid word‐a‐day calendar?
77
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,377
Hmm. Impulsinicity?
78
00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:44,749
Uh, excuse me, there, lady,
79
00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:46,720
but, uh, this is a man's bar.
80
00:03:46,787 --> 00:03:50,995
And I'd like a man's drink.
Bourbon, neat, in a dirty glass.
81
00:03:51,062 --> 00:03:52,665
You got it. Whoa.
82
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:55,003
Just got to look up
what "neat" means.
83
00:03:56,005 --> 00:03:58,109
I just don't understand.
84
00:03:58,176 --> 00:03:59,746
Understand what?
85
00:03:59,813 --> 00:04:02,150
What's a pub without a song?
86
00:04:02,217 --> 00:04:07,194
♪ At the pub at the crossroads,there's whiskey and beer... ♪
87
00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:09,298
There are songs about drinking?
88
00:04:09,365 --> 00:04:13,974
♪ There's brandy, strong cognacthat's aging for years ♪
89
00:04:14,041 --> 00:04:18,316
♪ But for killing the thirstand for easing the gout ♪
90
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:22,592
♪ There's nothing at allbeats a pint of good stout ♪
91
00:04:22,658 --> 00:04:25,664
♪ Pint of good stout. ♪
92
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,369
Oh, what's that
I hear you asking?
93
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:29,939
Where are the Simpsons?
94
00:04:30,006 --> 00:04:32,512
Haven't you heard enough
about the bloody Simpsons
95
00:04:32,578 --> 00:04:34,682
to last a thousand lifetimes?
96
00:04:34,749 --> 00:04:36,653
Well, I guess not.
97
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:40,427
So, Homer is about to receive
an unpleasant surprise.
98
00:04:41,362 --> 00:04:42,799
What a great day.
99
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,270
I've never been so happy.
100
00:04:45,336 --> 00:04:48,109
Nothing can ruin it. Nothing.
101
00:04:48,176 --> 00:04:49,579
What? Where you going?
102
00:04:49,646 --> 00:04:51,248
On our vacation, remember?
103
00:04:51,315 --> 00:04:53,720
My aunt's letting us
use her home at the Vineyard
104
00:04:53,787 --> 00:04:56,192
for three weeks, rent‐free.
105
00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:57,829
How come I'm not coming?
106
00:04:57,895 --> 00:05:00,066
Well, that was
her one condition.
107
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,770
D'oh!
108
00:05:01,837 --> 00:05:04,341
Aw, I'm gonna
miss you all so much.
109
00:05:04,408 --> 00:05:05,945
Well, at least
I'll have the dog.
110
00:05:06,011 --> 00:05:09,051
Sorry, Dad. We put the pets
with Mr. Flanders
111
00:05:09,118 --> 00:05:12,124
because, well,
we knew he'd take care of them.
112
00:05:12,190 --> 00:05:13,359
(whistling)
113
00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:15,798
- Come to papa.
- (barking, meowing)
114
00:05:15,865 --> 00:05:17,502
(grunts)
Good, good.
115
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:18,704
Make‐believe you love him.
116
00:05:18,770 --> 00:05:21,676
- Flanders, I love you!
- D'oh!
117
00:05:21,743 --> 00:05:24,682
We're staying at my Aunt Edith's
house at Hyannibunkport.
118
00:05:24,749 --> 00:05:27,688
It's south of Squibagansett,
east of Codtucket,
119
00:05:27,755 --> 00:05:29,592
next to Little Crabkill Bog.
120
00:05:29,659 --> 00:05:32,230
Those are great names.
You'll never want to leave.
121
00:05:32,297 --> 00:05:35,704
I'm gonna keep you in my sight
as long as I can.
122
00:05:37,742 --> 00:05:39,444
- ♪ ♪
- (thunder rumbles)
123
00:05:45,156 --> 00:05:46,593
(horn honking)
124
00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:49,732
We love you! Stop following!
125
00:05:49,799 --> 00:05:51,302
(fading):
Okay.
126
00:05:51,368 --> 00:05:53,039
(horn honks)
127
00:05:54,274 --> 00:05:56,880
(buzzing)
128
00:05:56,947 --> 00:06:00,854
♪ ...drink it up,then throw me out the door ♪
129
00:06:00,921 --> 00:06:02,792
♪ I've traveled in England ♪
130
00:06:02,858 --> 00:06:05,396
♪ I've traveled in France ♪
131
00:06:05,463 --> 00:06:10,507
♪ At a hint of good music,I'll sing or I'll dance ♪
132
00:06:10,574 --> 00:06:15,884
♪ So hear me, then, mister,and pour me one more... ♪
133
00:06:15,951 --> 00:06:17,622
Gentlemen...
134
00:06:17,688 --> 00:06:22,030
♪ If I can't drink it up,then throw me out the door. ♪
135
00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:25,169
(laughter)
136
00:06:25,236 --> 00:06:27,742
You have to seize life
and relish every minute.
137
00:06:27,808 --> 00:06:29,612
Eliminate all sorrow.
138
00:06:29,679 --> 00:06:32,183
Open a bloody window.
139
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:34,054
♪ Hallelujah. ♪
140
00:06:34,121 --> 00:06:36,158
Okay, okay,
that's enough of that.
141
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,766
(Satanic music plays)
142
00:06:39,832 --> 00:06:42,137
♪ Hallelujah. ♪
143
00:06:42,203 --> 00:06:44,074
(Satanic music plays)
144
00:06:44,141 --> 00:06:45,811
- ♪ Ha... ♪
- (Satanic music plays)
145
00:06:45,878 --> 00:06:48,416
Hey, Lily, you like suspenders?
'Cause I got them.
146
00:06:48,482 --> 00:06:51,523
Well, I hope you don't mind
if I give them a wee snap.
147
00:06:51,589 --> 00:06:54,227
- (laughs softly)
- Ooh! Intimacy.
148
00:06:54,294 --> 00:06:58,135
Lily, you've transformed this
dump into a joint. Bless you.
149
00:06:58,202 --> 00:06:59,772
(crying)
150
00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:02,177
(moans sadly)
151
00:07:02,243 --> 00:07:04,982
- ♪ ♪
- (gasps)
152
00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:06,920
(sighs)
153
00:07:09,291 --> 00:07:11,730
Who are you?
154
00:07:11,796 --> 00:07:14,167
- Homer Simpson.
- You know, Homer,
155
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:17,675
I've never met a man who didn't
offer me his chair or his beer.
156
00:07:17,742 --> 00:07:19,812
- You have now.
- So, tell me,
157
00:07:19,879 --> 00:07:21,382
what's wrong with you?
158
00:07:21,448 --> 00:07:22,785
Mm, it's personal.
159
00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:25,791
Tell me. Maybe I can
lighten your load.
160
00:07:25,858 --> 00:07:28,663
- My family left me
for three weeks.
- No.
161
00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:30,901
The dog and cat
are with Flanders.
162
00:07:30,968 --> 00:07:32,170
Oh!
163
00:07:32,237 --> 00:07:34,842
I'm alone.
I don't know what to do.
164
00:07:36,646 --> 00:07:39,050
You have to have a good time
for their sake,
165
00:07:39,117 --> 00:07:41,388
because if you don't,
they'll feel guilty
166
00:07:41,455 --> 00:07:42,558
and never forgive you.
167
00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:44,227
And you'll never forgive them,
168
00:07:44,294 --> 00:07:46,566
because they're causing you
the misery.
169
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,469
And you'll all be buried
in dirty laundry
170
00:07:48,537 --> 00:07:51,275
with squealing kids
for the rest of your days.
171
00:07:51,341 --> 00:07:52,878
Wow. Wow.
172
00:07:52,945 --> 00:07:56,719
You're the smartest woman
I've ever met in my life.
173
00:07:56,786 --> 00:07:58,255
Except one.
174
00:07:59,224 --> 00:08:00,761
Shut the window!
175
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,397
But then everything
smells like you.
176
00:08:02,464 --> 00:08:05,002
‐(both grunting) ‐Take that.
177
00:08:05,069 --> 00:08:07,240
(phone ringing)
178
00:08:10,714 --> 00:08:15,791
♪ Anticipation ♪
179
00:08:15,858 --> 00:08:21,836
♪ Anticipationis making me late... ♪
180
00:08:21,903 --> 00:08:23,840
Welcome to our tour
of the Vineyard.
181
00:08:23,907 --> 00:08:27,581
This is where Steven Spielberg
shot Jaws.
182
00:08:27,648 --> 00:08:29,251
That's the end of our tour.
183
00:08:29,317 --> 00:08:31,689
Now, my aunt's house
is only eight miles away.
184
00:08:31,756 --> 00:08:34,996
But we just have
to make it before sundown.
185
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:42,477
Uh, Mom, I think
you've gone off the road.
186
00:08:42,545 --> 00:08:44,481
Whoa, watch out for that deer!
187
00:08:44,549 --> 00:08:45,751
(gasps)
188
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,723
- That was close.
- (shouts) More deer!
189
00:08:49,692 --> 00:08:52,397
(thudding, tires screeching)
190
00:08:52,463 --> 00:08:54,034
(sighs)
We're here.
191
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,305
‐(thunder crashes) ‐(groans)
192
00:08:56,371 --> 00:08:57,908
- (laughter)
- CARL: Your turn, Lily.
193
00:08:57,975 --> 00:09:00,112
(clicking, beeping)
194
00:09:00,179 --> 00:09:01,950
(fanfare plays)
195
00:09:02,016 --> 00:09:03,016
(moans)
196
00:09:03,052 --> 00:09:06,224
I miss them. I miss them.
197
00:09:06,291 --> 00:09:09,999
It's been so long.
No one to comfort me.
198
00:09:10,066 --> 00:09:14,709
Put your mobile away, because
I'm gonna sing in German.
199
00:09:14,775 --> 00:09:17,748
♪ Vor der Kaserne ♪
200
00:09:17,815 --> 00:09:20,152
♪ Vor dem grossen Tor ♪
201
00:09:20,219 --> 00:09:22,758
♪ Stand eine Laterne ♪
202
00:09:22,825 --> 00:09:25,196
♪ Und steht sie noch davor... ♪
203
00:09:25,262 --> 00:09:27,901
This is like that beautiful
scene in Sound of Music
204
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,807
when all the Nazis
sang good night.
205
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:35,684
♪ Wie einst Lili Marleen ♪
206
00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:37,655
♪ Wie einst ♪
207
00:09:37,721 --> 00:09:40,761
♪ Lili Marleen. ♪
208
00:09:42,363 --> 00:09:45,169
If you're done singing,
can we turn up the game?
209
00:09:46,973 --> 00:09:50,714
(gasps, cries)
210
00:09:50,781 --> 00:09:52,718
‐(crying) ‐What's wrong, lady?
211
00:09:52,785 --> 00:09:54,789
We miss you inside.
212
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:56,559
A good bloke
who never had a break,
213
00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:57,828
and now has a broken spirit.
214
00:09:57,895 --> 00:09:59,832
He's lost and lonely,
215
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:02,838
and really doesn't
give a fig about me.
216
00:10:02,905 --> 00:10:06,144
- I'm in love.
- I love him, too.
217
00:10:06,211 --> 00:10:07,815
(both sigh)
218
00:10:12,891 --> 00:10:14,194
Okay. The sun is shining.
219
00:10:14,260 --> 00:10:17,467
(exhales)
I can finally read my book.
220
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,270
(seabird chirping)
221
00:10:19,337 --> 00:10:23,045
Hello, nature.
Time to meet your death.
222
00:10:23,947 --> 00:10:26,652
♪ ♪
223
00:10:26,719 --> 00:10:28,623
(gasps)
Bart, those are tick bites!
224
00:10:28,690 --> 00:10:30,159
You'll get Lyme disease.
225
00:10:30,226 --> 00:10:32,163
Why didn't somebody warn me?
226
00:10:34,602 --> 00:10:38,041
‐(Marge grunts) ‐(groans)
227
00:10:39,712 --> 00:10:41,047
Get me a priest.
228
00:10:41,114 --> 00:10:43,787
Mom, I always liked you.
229
00:10:43,853 --> 00:10:45,524
Oh, honey, try to relax.
230
00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:46,926
Watch Itchy & Scratchy!
231
00:10:46,993 --> 00:10:49,330
I am itchy and scratchy.
232
00:10:49,397 --> 00:10:51,502
Meanwhile,
Homer little dreamed that...
233
00:10:51,569 --> 00:10:54,073
Willie! Do you think it would
kill you to rake and talk?
234
00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:56,211
Would you rather
I tell the story
235
00:10:56,278 --> 00:10:58,817
about what's under
these leaves and dirt?
236
00:10:58,883 --> 00:11:00,252
(Skinner groans)
237
00:11:00,319 --> 00:11:02,891
Oh. No. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no. Carry on.
238
00:11:02,958 --> 00:11:04,294
(chuckles nervously)
239
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,899
Getting back,
Lily continued to light up
240
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:10,206
all the men's lives,
except Homer's.
241
00:11:11,007 --> 00:11:12,243
BOTH:
Lily!
242
00:11:12,310 --> 00:11:13,145
Gentlemen.
243
00:11:13,212 --> 00:11:14,915
I made you all picnic lunches.
244
00:11:14,982 --> 00:11:15,982
- Yeah!
- Wow!
245
00:11:16,017 --> 00:11:16,953
It's British food.
246
00:11:17,019 --> 00:11:17,921
BOTH:
Oh...
247
00:11:17,988 --> 00:11:20,092
Post‐1990 British food.
248
00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:21,428
BOTH:
Yes!
249
00:11:21,494 --> 00:11:23,498
♪ ♪
250
00:11:26,672 --> 00:11:29,578
Smithers,
that woman has captivated me,
251
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:30,947
which, if memory serves,
252
00:11:31,014 --> 00:11:33,051
is an early state
of physical arousal.
253
00:11:33,118 --> 00:11:34,655
Sir, we've been
through this before
254
00:11:34,722 --> 00:11:37,594
with several women
and one very shapely tree.
255
00:11:37,661 --> 00:11:39,097
I feel a tingle I haven't felt
256
00:11:39,163 --> 00:11:40,877
since they took the cocaine
out of Coca‐Cola.
257
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,671
I must woo her.
258
00:11:42,738 --> 00:11:44,508
And Simpson's my way in.
259
00:11:44,575 --> 00:11:46,512
Have him ask her
on a date on my boat
260
00:11:46,579 --> 00:11:48,683
which will actually be
a date with me.
261
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,722
But, sir, why not have me
ask her directly?
262
00:11:51,789 --> 00:11:53,358
(laughs)
As if I could trust you
263
00:11:53,425 --> 00:11:54,929
to keep your hands off a lady.
264
00:11:54,995 --> 00:11:57,868
(forced chuckle)
How well you know me, sir.
265
00:11:57,935 --> 00:12:00,105
♪ ♪
266
00:12:02,109 --> 00:12:04,247
HOMER:
Uh‐oh.
267
00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:07,186
Very good, Maggie!
268
00:12:07,253 --> 00:12:09,992
Now we can cook them. Num‐num!
269
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,839
(horn blares)
270
00:12:16,906 --> 00:12:18,408
Who are all those people?
271
00:12:18,475 --> 00:12:20,847
It's the weekenders
from Falmouth.
272
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,116
(horn blares)
273
00:12:22,183 --> 00:12:23,586
It's almost here.
274
00:12:23,653 --> 00:12:26,559
And raise the prices...
275
00:12:33,973 --> 00:12:35,577
...now!
276
00:12:42,089 --> 00:12:43,258
Clam strips and beer!
277
00:12:43,325 --> 00:12:45,295
MAN:
Black Dog mousepads!
278
00:12:45,362 --> 00:12:46,675
- MAN 2: Over here!
- MAN 3: T‐shirts!
279
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:49,070
MAN 4:
CDs by James Taylor's brother!
280
00:12:51,575 --> 00:12:53,178
- Hyah!
- Hyah!
281
00:12:53,245 --> 00:12:55,784
ALL:
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
282
00:12:55,850 --> 00:12:58,188
That's it! We're going home.
283
00:13:00,827 --> 00:13:04,635
Everyone was innocently falling
into Burns's trap.
284
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:09,545
And trouble brewed as
Lily offered a perverse prayer.
285
00:13:09,611 --> 00:13:11,481
- ♪ ♪
- (seabird screeching)
286
00:13:11,549 --> 00:13:13,051
(bell dings)
287
00:13:13,853 --> 00:13:14,788
LILY:
Forgive me, Lord.
288
00:13:14,855 --> 00:13:16,124
I must have Homer.
289
00:13:16,191 --> 00:13:18,195
Please let me win him,
even briefly.
290
00:13:18,261 --> 00:13:20,900
It would be like having
a lover and a child
291
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,604
at the same time.
292
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,244
Hey, Lily. How you doin'?
293
00:13:26,311 --> 00:13:28,783
Homer! I'm so glad
you asked me to meet you here.
294
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,452
Thanks, I'm glad
you feel that way.
295
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,223
But there's something
I didn't tell you.
296
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:34,661
Uh... you're on a date
with my boss.
297
00:13:34,728 --> 00:13:35,830
That's my boat.
298
00:13:35,897 --> 00:13:38,201
♪ ♪
299
00:13:38,268 --> 00:13:40,305
My name is Montgomery Burns.
300
00:13:40,372 --> 00:13:43,946
I'm the richest and therefore
most attractive man in town.
301
00:13:44,013 --> 00:13:45,115
Okay, see ya.
302
00:13:45,182 --> 00:13:46,619
Wait, wait, wait, Mr. Burns!
303
00:13:46,685 --> 00:13:49,190
Surely a venerable gentleman
such as yourself
304
00:13:49,257 --> 00:13:51,261
would know that
I need a chaperone.
305
00:13:51,327 --> 00:13:53,465
Of course.
Simpson, join us.
306
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,070
Smithers, cue my weapon of woo.
307
00:13:57,173 --> 00:14:00,947
♪ ♪
308
00:14:01,849 --> 00:14:04,086
I know a shortcut.
309
00:14:09,363 --> 00:14:11,835
HOMER:
Why am I staring at her?
310
00:14:11,902 --> 00:14:13,973
I'll make my eyes
look at something else.
311
00:14:19,283 --> 00:14:21,221
Oh, my God.
312
00:14:21,287 --> 00:14:23,225
I'm smiling back.
313
00:14:26,331 --> 00:14:29,003
I hope you enjoyed
your dinner. (chuckles)
314
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:31,508
And just wait till we get
to dessert.
315
00:14:31,575 --> 00:14:33,144
You make me feel like
I'm having dinner
316
00:14:33,211 --> 00:14:34,848
with a James Bond villain.
317
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,017
(chuckles)
318
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,253
She gets me.
319
00:14:37,319 --> 00:14:39,423
Now, wink for me, Smithers.
320
00:14:41,027 --> 00:14:43,498
(chuckling)
321
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:48,241
(sighs)
What am I doing here?
322
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:54,788
HOMER:What have I doneto this wonderful woman?
323
00:14:54,855 --> 00:14:57,159
How can I make it up to her?
324
00:14:58,696 --> 00:14:59,931
I'm sorry.
325
00:14:59,998 --> 00:15:01,301
Why did you bring me here?
326
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:02,637
Fear of unemployment.
327
00:15:02,704 --> 00:15:05,543
Um, let's just stay
through dessert.
328
00:15:07,313 --> 00:15:09,250
Look at me!
I'm Gypsy Rose Lee!
329
00:15:09,317 --> 00:15:12,156
You and me and
my cardiologist make three!
330
00:15:12,222 --> 00:15:14,427
Sorry, I have to leave
right now.
331
00:15:14,493 --> 00:15:15,630
Oh. But why?
332
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:18,602
I just spilled
a glass of wine on myself.
333
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:20,172
Also, this bottle.
334
00:15:20,238 --> 00:15:22,309
Homer, let's go.
335
00:15:23,813 --> 00:15:24,881
Whoa.
336
00:15:24,948 --> 00:15:26,585
That was awful.
337
00:15:26,652 --> 00:15:28,288
There's some people
that make you feel
338
00:15:28,355 --> 00:15:30,425
being lonely isn't so bad.
339
00:15:30,492 --> 00:15:32,429
And there are people
that make you
340
00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:34,033
never want to be lonely again.
341
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,037
(laughs)
I hear ya.
342
00:15:36,104 --> 00:15:37,406
And I almost understand ya.
343
00:15:37,473 --> 00:15:39,043
Thank God
you were there to save me.
344
00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:40,479
That's what I'm best at:
345
00:15:40,546 --> 00:15:42,617
saving people from things
I get them into.
346
00:15:42,684 --> 00:15:44,453
(giggles)
You've got a little cake
347
00:15:44,521 --> 00:15:45,923
on the corner of your mouth.
348
00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:47,092
Oh, I do? Where?
349
00:15:47,159 --> 00:15:48,461
- Just here.
- There?
350
00:15:48,529 --> 00:15:49,865
- Just there.
- Oh‐‐ Where?
351
00:15:49,931 --> 00:15:51,802
- Right there?
- Just‐‐ You're missing it.
352
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:53,304
- There?
- Just to the...
353
00:15:53,371 --> 00:15:55,375
- Oh, just let me do it.
- Okay.
354
00:15:56,745 --> 00:15:58,248
You can stop now.
355
00:15:58,314 --> 00:16:01,053
Uh... I meant go slow.
356
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,524
Uh, wait a minute, wait.
357
00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:04,661
While you're there,
could you get the upper lip?
358
00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:09,336
(laughs softly)
Oh, my God,
359
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:10,907
what am I going to do with you?
360
00:16:10,973 --> 00:16:11,909
Please, nothing.
361
00:16:11,975 --> 00:16:14,013
I'm taking you home now.
362
00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:18,354
♪ ♪
363
00:16:29,811 --> 00:16:32,550
Well, aren't you going
to walk me in?
364
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,119
(whimpers)
365
00:16:34,186 --> 00:16:35,823
Look, Lily.
366
00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:37,392
You're the most... Um...
367
00:16:37,459 --> 00:16:38,662
Finish that thought.
368
00:16:38,729 --> 00:16:40,169
You're the most anything
of any woman
369
00:16:40,198 --> 00:16:41,635
I've ever known
except for my wife.
370
00:16:41,702 --> 00:16:43,839
Who I loved‐‐ I mean love!
I said "love!"
371
00:16:43,906 --> 00:16:44,841
Oh, that's beautiful.
372
00:16:44,908 --> 00:16:46,244
Thank you.
373
00:16:46,310 --> 00:16:48,448
But give me one damn
proper kiss goodbye.
374
00:16:48,516 --> 00:16:49,784
No.
375
00:16:50,786 --> 00:16:52,356
♪ ♪
376
00:16:52,422 --> 00:16:54,159
(Homer whimpering)
377
00:16:54,226 --> 00:16:56,565
(moaning)
378
00:17:00,071 --> 00:17:01,608
No. No!
379
00:17:01,675 --> 00:17:02,710
This is good,
380
00:17:02,777 --> 00:17:04,480
but is it worth
burning in hell forever?
381
00:17:04,548 --> 00:17:06,217
We'll see each other
in our dreams,
382
00:17:06,284 --> 00:17:07,520
whether you like it or not.
383
00:17:07,587 --> 00:17:09,256
You stay out of my dreams!
384
00:17:09,323 --> 00:17:11,127
All my stuff's in there!
385
00:17:17,472 --> 00:17:19,512
Gotta stay awake. If I dream
of Lily, it's all over.
386
00:17:21,314 --> 00:17:24,153
Gotta stay awake.
Gotta stay awake.
387
00:17:24,219 --> 00:17:25,756
Must not dream.
388
00:17:25,823 --> 00:17:29,564
Gotta stay awake.
Gotta stay awake.
389
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:30,766
Oh, no.
390
00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:32,837
(snores)
391
00:17:32,904 --> 00:17:34,273
♪ ♪
392
00:17:34,340 --> 00:17:35,810
(giggles)
393
00:17:35,876 --> 00:17:38,281
You've got a little cake
on the corner of your mouth.
394
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:41,153
- Homer? Homer?
- (mutters) She's here.
395
00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:42,991
She's here and God help me,
396
00:17:43,057 --> 00:17:44,426
- I'm glad.
- Homer.
397
00:17:44,493 --> 00:17:46,263
- Marge!
- Surprise!
398
00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:47,700
We came back early.
399
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,604
Oh, thank God.
Oh, thank God!
400
00:17:49,671 --> 00:17:51,775
I'll never let you go a...
401
00:17:51,842 --> 00:17:52,610
(phone vibrates)
402
00:17:52,677 --> 00:17:54,213
Who's calling you so late?
403
00:17:54,848 --> 00:17:56,317
Telemarketer.
404
00:17:56,384 --> 00:17:57,954
Gotta take it.
405
00:17:58,021 --> 00:18:00,291
Those people are so sensitive.
406
00:18:02,697 --> 00:18:04,901
- Hello?
- (falsetto): Wrong number!
407
00:18:04,968 --> 00:18:06,404
- Homer?
- Damn it!
408
00:18:06,470 --> 00:18:08,842
- I need to see you now, Homer.
- (whimpers)
409
00:18:08,909 --> 00:18:10,211
You know the address.
410
00:18:10,278 --> 00:18:12,416
Lovers Lane,
just off Fidelity Avenue.
411
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,386
Listen.
I have to tell you right now
412
00:18:14,453 --> 00:18:16,157
I can never see you again.
413
00:18:16,223 --> 00:18:17,894
Can you tell me in person?
414
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,296
Great idea.
415
00:18:19,363 --> 00:18:21,668
Keep me on the line.
I'll guide you here.
416
00:18:21,735 --> 00:18:22,737
Ooh...
417
00:18:22,804 --> 00:18:24,808
You realize
nothing's gonna happen.
418
00:18:24,874 --> 00:18:26,444
Of course.
419
00:18:26,511 --> 00:18:30,151
♪ I promise you chocolateand kisses ♪
420
00:18:30,218 --> 00:18:34,326
♪ Martinis with lemon drops... ♪
421
00:18:34,393 --> 00:18:36,297
♪ ♪
422
00:18:36,363 --> 00:18:38,234
No, feet! No!
423
00:18:38,301 --> 00:18:40,238
(sighs)
424
00:18:41,273 --> 00:18:42,777
♪ I just woke up ♪
425
00:18:42,844 --> 00:18:47,887
♪ And made you pork chops... ♪
426
00:18:49,557 --> 00:18:51,327
♪ La, la, la ♪
427
00:18:51,393 --> 00:18:53,364
♪ La, la,la ♪
428
00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:55,803
♪ La, la, la ♪
429
00:18:55,870 --> 00:18:58,174
- ♪ La, la, la ♪
- MARGE: ♪ La, la, la ♪
430
00:18:58,241 --> 00:19:00,646
- LILY: ♪ La, la, la ♪
- MARGE: ♪ La, la, la ♪
431
00:19:00,713 --> 00:19:03,184
♪ La, la, la ♪
432
00:19:03,251 --> 00:19:07,459
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
433
00:19:07,527 --> 00:19:10,833
♪ La, la, la, la, la... ♪
434
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,335
Pork chops!
435
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:13,639
♪ La, la, la ♪
436
00:19:13,705 --> 00:19:15,609
♪ La, la,la ♪
437
00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:19,951
♪ La, la, la. ♪
438
00:19:20,018 --> 00:19:21,922
You're home.
439
00:19:21,988 --> 00:19:22,988
Yes, I am.
440
00:19:23,024 --> 00:19:24,226
And I'll never leave you.
441
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,963
There might be frequent
interruptions.
442
00:19:26,030 --> 00:19:27,299
I may stop at Moe's,
443
00:19:27,365 --> 00:19:28,936
I may be watching
the hot dogs spin
444
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,338
at the movie theater,
445
00:19:30,405 --> 00:19:33,745
or I may be picking
a flower for you...
446
00:19:33,812 --> 00:19:36,852
but I will never,
ever leave you.
447
00:19:36,918 --> 00:19:38,922
Aw, Homie.
448
00:19:41,795 --> 00:19:43,966
(sobbing)
449
00:19:47,405 --> 00:19:50,880
ANNOUNCER:Now boarding, non‐stopSpringfield to London.
450
00:19:50,946 --> 00:19:52,449
Sorry, lady.
451
00:19:58,361 --> 00:19:59,396
How was America, dear?
452
00:19:59,463 --> 00:20:00,966
There's nothing there for me.
453
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,404
It's big, full of fried food,
and heartbreaking...
454
00:20:03,471 --> 00:20:05,609
and that's just one man.
455
00:20:05,676 --> 00:20:08,281
There'll never be another
like him.
456
00:20:11,788 --> 00:20:13,324
Buy you a drink, sweetheart?
457
00:20:13,391 --> 00:20:14,493
No.
458
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,829
Fancy a drink?
459
00:20:15,896 --> 00:20:16,631
No, thank you.
460
00:20:16,698 --> 00:20:18,434
Would you get‐‐ No.
461
00:20:18,502 --> 00:20:19,804
No. No thanks.
462
00:20:19,871 --> 00:20:20,871
Get off.
463
00:20:20,906 --> 00:20:22,777
BRITISH MAN:
Buy you a corndog?
464
00:20:22,843 --> 00:20:25,783
(gasps) Yes!
But first, are you married?
465
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:27,987
And would you shave off
the mustache?
466
00:20:28,054 --> 00:20:30,592
Yes, and immediately.
467
00:20:31,393 --> 00:20:33,598
♪ ♪
468
00:21:23,932 --> 00:21:26,036
Shh!
32882
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