All language subtitles for The Office S01E04 Training

My favourite episode? "Staff Training".

One of the things we did when
we started writing was sit down for ages

and we just talked about offices
we'd worked in,

experiences we'd had. And obviously,
all the same things kept coming up.

And one of those things that we both
experienced in different places

was training, being taught things
that you already knew.

How to work as a team.

And we just thought, well,
that's a kind of given, as an episode.

The staff training day episode
is my favourite.

And yeah, it's because

it's like a holiday, it's only

two doors down the corridor
that everyone's gone on holiday,

but they're out of the office
and it's like a day trip

and you've got a new face coming in
to talk to them.

My name's Rowan.

And I'm going to be leading
us through today's sessions.

Under me. Go on.

Well, as David says,
actually has briefed me, says that

a lot of what we're covering
I think you'll be familiar with,

but it's not necessarily a bad idea
to recap anyway.

It's a breath of fresh air
for the people in the office.

But quite the opposite for David Brent,

who sees it as a real
challenge to his authority

to have this guy coming in

and telling them
what he should be telling them.

I'm going to play a very bad hotel
manager who just doesn't care and...

Sorry, if it's a Basil Fawlty-type
character,

they'll tell you, maybe I should do it,
just for the comedy.

Yeah, well, let me just play it now
just to kick things off. Okay?

I probably bring something
to this role anyway,

- so...
- Right.

He couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand
competing with this guy.

I mean, he brought him in to train them

but then he wanted to be
the boss and, uh...

It was just so much fun
to watch him squirm,

just to try and... try and get in
the front of the queue for attention.

- Right, some interesting points.
- Very interesting points.

It's not quite the point
I was trying to make.

Different points to be made.

- I'm more interested in customer care.
- So am I.

It's Tim's opportunity, I think,
just for a little sleep.

And to spend time with Dawn.
And he can kind of, you know,

nudge her and just have little
quiet asides with her.

That's perfect, you know. And I remember
that sort of situation from school.

Any excuse to spend time
with a girl you fancy

is the best thing ever, you know.

The documentary style gave us a whole
new element to that romance

that I don't think people had been able
to do before,

because suddenly they were under
a microscope all the time.

And it meant that they couldn't
express themselves

in the way that you can
in a regular show.

In a regular show you can take someone
behind closed doors

and you can declare your love

and it's fine and
it's between the two of you.

But in our documentary world that camera
was always on them,

it was always spying. So it meant
that everything was much more illicit,

that the time they shared together
was always being observed.

I remember Ricky and Steve saying
that they were really fascinated by

non-verbal communication, you know.

And just how body language is however
much percent of our communication,

you know, but it's a big one,
it's a big percentage of it,

and it's kind of the
most important telling stuff.

That feels nice, actually.

- Do the little bit with your nails.
- Shh.

- When are you going out, then?
- End of the week drink.

When are you going out, then?

- Well, tonight, hopefully, I thought.
- Uh, yeah.

- Hello, mate.
- Hi.

Hi, sweetheart.

I've got kind of hot hands, sorry.

That's all right,
just don't touch my head.

Uh! Oh, that way, Ooh!

- Kind of like that.
- Yeah.

Hiya. All right?

- Happy birthday.
- Thank you very much. Ta.

- You're so lovely.
- No, I'm not lovely.

- You are.
- No, you are.

- I'm snotty.
- You're snotty and lovely.

I'd marry your snot.

I think if I were a viewer,

I would have enjoyed watching
Tim and Dawn

and their journey, because...

because it didn't seem implausible.

And it didn't seem unreachable.

They made it feel as if you could have
these little things inside you,

these little stories that can come out,

rather than it being this glossy
Hollywood love story

where they all end up brilliantly happy

but everyone's unbelievably rich
and beautiful and in, you know,

sunny lands and
it doesn't feel like where we are.

You know what I mean? And...

So I think I would have enjoyed seeing
it play out.

For someone like me,
the romantic drama,

particularly of the great
Christmas special, you know,

is one of the great romantic comedies
of all time,

one of the great romantic stories
of all time.

I think the very best sitcoms have had
profound things

at the bottom of them.
I suppose that's what makes them good.

All of my favourite shows have always
had a sort of romantic strand in them,

whether it be Northern Exposure

or Moonlighting or Friends.

And I think it's one of the reasons...
one of the things we liked

is the kind of soap opera feel
that the best of those shows have.

Soap opera not being a sort of
damning phase at all.

Actually, there's something about
watching from week to week

and building an understanding of that
world and caring about those characters

that's very unique to television.

And a lot of British comedies don't seem
to do that enough.

And it seems strange, you come in week
after week so you can draw people in.

And so we were very keen to have
that romantic thread,

because we knew if we just kept going

it would just become the sort of
beating heart of the show, in a way.

LEE: What's that about? Tell me.

Because, you know, at the end of
the day, you can say something

and then it doesn't mean that you
can't ever change your mind.

It's not me that's changing my mind,
it's you that's changing your mind.

- You always do.
- Fine! But what's wrong with that?

GARETH: Yeah, I feel sorry
for Dawn and Lee.

If they have to call off the wedding

then, sure, it'll be upsetting now,

but in the end, it's for the best.

The thing about long-term marriage

is that inevitably, the sex suffers.

You constantly have to find
new and erotic ways

of spicing things up in the bedroom.

It's a gift and a training.

And I mean, you can either...

It's like I was already good at it
before I was trained in it,

and now I'm trained in it I'm better
than the people who were just trained...

DAVID: Today's our staff training.

I do a couple a year.

This is Rowan,
our facilitator for the day.

It's good to get in an outsider
now and again.

It helps to keep them
sort of interested, you know.

And it's what I trained in.
I have an MBA from Bradford.

I'm trained in it as well.
I could have done this myself.

But let me tell you
what today is all about.

- I can do that.
- Well, it's my... thing.

It's about customer care, really.

Investment in people, i.e. the staff.

Letting them know that they are
our most important commodity.

And if they've got a problem,
it's my problem.

Uh...

It's like if you're cleaning a floor
and you're up against it,

then come to me and I'll help us
clean our floor together.

So...

Not literally.

See you in there.

I'm really sorry.

Things will be okay
between you and Lee, you know,

because you and Lee are going to
be together and he knows that,

and if he doesn't appreciate that,
then he's mad.

And if he... I tell you, if he doesn't
appreciate it, I'll marry you. You know?

(IN MONOTONE)
Hello. You're through to Keith.

I will be at training all day today.

Please call me or leave a message
and I will call you tomorrow.

- You're so lovely.
- No, I'm not lovely.

- You are.
- No, you are.

- I'm snotty.
- You're snotty and lovely.

I'd marry your snot.

- All right?
- All right, mate?

- What's going on?
- Nothing, it's fine.

You're upset. About Lee, is it?

Hey, don't worry, all right?

'Cause you know Monkey Alan down in
the warehouse?

He fancies you
even if no one else does. So...

(SNIFFS)

What was that?

Just can't say anything when
they're like that, can you?

No. No, you can't. You can't.
I was doing okay.

What were you doing
with the Monkey Alan business?

Well, he fancies her. I'm just saying.

She didn't need to know that, mate.
It's Monkey Alan. Even the name...

I don't know who Monkey Alan is,
I'm betting that Monkey Alan...

- He's a little bloke.
- I don't need to know.

Go away, please.

Go over there.

My name's Rowan.

And I'm going to be leading us
through today's sessions.

Under me. Go on.

Well, as David says,
actually has briefed me, says that

a lot of what we're covering
I think you'll be familiar with.

But it's not necessarily a bad idea
to recap anyway,

and I hope that a few new ideas
will be thrown into the pan as well.

We're going to start by watching
a video, so a nice and gentle start.

It's a bit cheesy and a bit '80s,

but I think a lot of the ideas
are still pretty valid. Okay?

A good idea is a good idea forever.

Yeah. Okay.

Philosophy.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Hi.

What's the single most important thing
to your business?

- Staff.
- That's right. The customer.

Mmm. Come at it from a different angle.

These are your profits for this year.

And this is what you're doing
to those profits

if you underestimate
the value of customer care.

That's not real money.

- Do you know why?
- TIM: 'Cause he'd be mad to burn it.

No. 'Cause it's illegal
to destroy or burn anything

containing the Queen's image
of the realm...

- Can we just watch the video?
...on it. Yeah. That's true.

Statistics show that if you're
treated well as a customer,

you'll tell five people.

If you're treated badly,
you'll tell nine.

- So can you set fire to a postage stamp?
- No.

In fact, a postage stamp
is legal tender.

A bus driver would have
to accept that as currency.

- Yeah, that'd happen.
- Well, if he doesn't, report him.

Yeah, I'll report him
when I'm walking home.

You can get a taxi
if you've got enough stamps.

- Or cash them in at a post office.
- Shouldn't have to.

Shouldn't have to.

Here's a typical office.

Yeah? Yeah. Awful, isn't it?

Oh, yeah? Oh, really?
You know, I said to him...

Excuse me. I am in a hurry.

I'm on the phone.
God, aren't some people rude?

I must tell you about George.
It all started about a year ago...

Well done. That customer
won't be bothering you again.

Ever.

Let's see what should have happened.

Yeah? Yeah. Awful, isn't it?

Oh, yeah? Oh, really?
You know and I said to him...

Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'll be with you
in one moment.

Sorry, Jean. I'm going to have to go.
I have a customer.

I'll call you back
at a more convenient time.

All she had to do was acknowledge
the customer's presence

and end her personal call
as quickly as possible.

This is what we call
the Customer Care Tree.

So, your prescription will be ready
on Friday, madam.

Fine. See you Tuesday.

So if you've put together a crack team,

don't let your business get taken
hostage by complacency.

Make your motto "Who cares wins".

Hey, I know you.
Can I have your autograph?

Of course you can.

Thank you, Mr Noakes.

Very good. Very good.

Okay, then. Right. That's that.
What are we going to...

- John Noakes.
- Yeah.

They worked together on Blue Peter.
That's what the reference was.

- Can I?
- She was short-sighted.

Okay. Right.
Well, you've all seen the video.

Now it's time for the dreaded role play.

We'll kick off with your leader,
David Brent.

David, if you'd like to come up here.
Quick round of applause for David.

- (WEAK APPLAUSE)
- No, no, no.

I'm cheating, really.
I have done this before.

Oh, good. That should make it
a lot easier for us.

- Okay, nice and simple to start with.
- Hard as you like.

Well, let's just kick off with
something nice and easy, okay?

I want us to play out a scenario
that highlights customer care.

- Okay.
- All of you have to deal with people...

- All the time.
...and it's always possible

- to improve your people skills.
- Yeah.

Right. In this scenario, we'll start
with something nice and easy.

I'm going to play...
And this will be the wrong way to do it.

I'm gonna play a very bad hotel manager
who just doesn't care.

Sorry, if it's a Basil Fawlty-type
character,

they'll tell you, maybe I should do it,
just for the comedy.

Yeah, well, let me just play it now
just to kick things off, okay?

I'll probably bring something to
this role anyway, so...

Right. You've got a complaint.

You come and complain and I'll show you
the wrong way to handle it.

This will be the wrong way.
Right? So, off we go.

- Sorry. What's the complaint?
- Just make it up.

Anything. Because there's no right
or wrong thing in this scenario.

Then we'll tell you
the right thing afterwards, so...

- You complain.
- Right.

Okay. Okay.

- I'd like to make a complaint, please.
- I don't care.

- Well, I am staying in the hotel...
- I don't care. It's not my shift.

Well, you're an ambassador
for the hotel.

- I don't care.
- I think you'll care when I tell you

what the complaint is.
I think there's been a rape up there!

I've got his attention.
Get their attention. Okay?

- Right. So some interesting points.
- Very interesting points.

It's not quite the point
I was trying to make.

Different points to be made.

- I'm more interested in customer care.
- So am I.

- And the way that we would deal with...
- I fazed you.

Maybe, as I thought, I should play the
hotel manager 'cause I'm used to that.

I fazed you. But you have a go,
see if you can faze me. Okay?

Yeah. Right. Okay. Um...

- Hello. I wish to make a complaint.
- Not interested.

- My room is an absolute disgrace.
- Don't care.

The bathroom doesn't appear to
have been cleaned and...

What room are you in?

- 362.
- There is no 362 in this hotel.

Sometimes the complaints will be false.

Okay? Good.

Today is really about all of you
getting to know and trust each other.

So, before the next exercise,

what I want us to do
is just spend a few minutes...

(KNOCKING)

Sorry. Can I have a quick word
with Dawn?

Dawn?

What I want us to do is for
everyone to tell me their name

and their ultimate dream,
their ultimate fantasy in life.

I'll kick things off. My name's Rowan,

and my dream is that I would love
to have my own island.

David.

It depends what you mean
by ultimate fantasy

because time travel's
actually impossible,

- so there'd be no point in wasting...
- Just interpret it any way you like.

Well, if you're talking about
anything that could

or could not be possible, actually,

anything that could be conceived of
to happen or not

within my realm, you know,

then probably some sort of
everlasting life.

I don't mean it in sort of just
a spiritual or religious sense,

but I mean actually
to experience the future

and live, you know, on and on

and on, you know,
know what it's like to live forever.

I think I'm starting to know
what that's like.

- No, I'm saying...
- No, hang on.

- You always have your say.
- No, I don't always have my say.

When do I have my say?

I've been engaged to Lee for, um,

God, about three years.

He proposed on a Valentine's Day.

Although he didn't do it face to face,

he did it in one of the little
Valentine's message bits in the paper.

Um...

I think he had to pay for it by the word
because it just said,

"Lee love Dawn. Marriage?"

Which, you know, I like,

'cause it's not often you get something
that's both romantic and thrifty.

And don't phone my mum again!

- ROWAN: Uh, Dawn, do you want?
- Don't.

Okay.

Um...

Gareth, a quick trust exercise.
Ultimate fantasy?

- Hmm?
- We're just doing the ultimate fantasy.

We're all doing it.

Two lesbians, probably.
Sisters. I'm just watching.

Okay. Um...

Tim? Do you have one?

I never thought I'd say this,
but can I hear more from Gareth, please?

Okay. Well, this next exercise
is all about

motivation.

And that's going to be a key word today,
motivation.

So... Keith?

What would you say was your motivation
for working here?

- Being part of a team, I'd have thought.
- Just let him answer.

No, I'm saying. Probably what he'll say
if you ask him.

Well, I am asking him
and I'd really like him to answer.

- Do you want to answer him?
- Thanks.

- This job's just a stop-gap, really.
- Wow.

The job's not difficult.
I don't take my work home with me.

- It's pretty brainless.
- Well, at your level, maybe.

But ultimately, I want to play music,
write music and play in a band.

Good luck! Been there, done that,
bought the T-shirt. Next!

- Okay, Keith...
- DAWN: You were in a band?

- Like a rock band?
- Yeah.

- What were you called?
- Foregone Conclusion.

Look, David, I'm not absolutely sure
this is really the right time...

- Well, I've got to field the questions.
- TIM: David.

- What did you do in the group?
- Singer-songwriter.

Lyrics man, mainly, but you know,
the music came easy as well, so...

Okay. Right. So, are there
any more questions for David?

- No? Good.
- You didn't give them a chance.

- Did you want to say something?
- Were you successful?

Were we successful?
I'll let you be the judge of that

when I tell you that
we were once supported

by a little-known Scottish outfit
called Texas.

Yeah, and I get all this, "Oh, David,
you're a brilliant singer-songwriter.

"You're stuck in Slough while it's Texas
that are off making all the money.

"And they're rubbish compared to you."

And I go, "Don't slag them off."

I say, "I've been there,
I've done that. That's behind me."

And I respect...

The thing is, we're both good
in our own fields.

I'm sure Texas couldn't run and manage
a successful paper merchant's.

I couldn't do what...

Actually, I could do what they do,

and I think they knew that
even back then.

Probably what spurred them on.

(SOFT GUITAR STRUMMING)

DAVID: I wrote this. I only play songs
I've written myself.

He went home to get it.

# A spaceman came down
to answer some things

# The world gathered round
from paupers to kings

# I'll answer your questions
I'll answer them true

# I'll show you the way
You know what to do

# Who is wrong and who is right?

# Yellow, brown, black or white

# The spaceman he answered,
you no longer mind

# I've opened your eyes,
you're now colour-blind...

Racial. So...

# She's the serpent
who guards the gates of Hell #

Good stuff.

# Pretty girl on the hood
of a Cadillac, yeah

# She's broken down on Freeway 9

# Take a look
Get her engine started, yeah

# Gave a purr and then
I rolled on by, bye bye

# Free love on the free love freeway

- Everybody.
- # Love is free and the freeway's long

# I've got some hot love
on the hot love highway

# Ain't going home
'cause my baby's gone

# She's dead

She's not dead.

# Long time later see a cowboy crying

# I said, hey, buddy what can I do?

# He says, I lived a good life
Had about a thousand women

# I said, why the tears?

# He says, 'cause none
of them was you #

- What, you?
- No. He's looking at a photograph.

- Of you?
- No. Of his girlfriend.

- The video would have shown that.
- Sorry.

- He sounds a bit gay at the moment.
- He's not gay.

# Free love on the free love freeway

# The love is free
and the freeway's long

# I got some hot love
on the hot love highway

(GARETH HARMONISING)

# Going home 'cause my baby's gone,
she's gone

# Free love on the free love freeway

# The love is free
and the freeway's long

# I got some hot love
on the hot love highway

# Going home 'cause my baby's gone,
she's gone, yeah

# My baby's gone
She's gone, yeah

# Gone away, she's gone
She's gone, yeah

# She's just gone away

# She's gone #

(APPLAUSE)

MAN: That's brilliant, man. Really is.

I'm trying to think
of what other ones we used to do.

- Right. That's lunch.
- Okay.

What in the name of jumping Jehoshaphat
was that song about?

I mean, what was that about, then?

What's he doing? What's Warren
doing telling people to say please?

If they don't know, I'm sorry,
you don't deserve a job. After you.

Thank you.

- You all right, then?
- Yes, thank you.

Good.

You okay?

Forget all about him, he's not worth it.

I go through this sort of thing
all the time.

Although it's usually me who dumps them.

He didn't... No one dumped anyone.
It was just an argument.

You should come out with me.
I'll find you a new bloke.

It was just an argument.

Well, I'm just saying.

Thanks. That's nice.

You okay?

- Yeah.
- Sit down.

Now, I don't want to pry,

but I mean, I am aware
of your personal problem,

and I wouldn't be the boss
or the man that I am

if I didn't lend, you know,
some words of encouragement.

(STRUMMING GUITAR) So...

This is something I wrote.
I hope it helps.

# Rose, you never used your thorns

# The ones you loved abandoned you

# Your angel face made hearts so warm

# You helped the sick
but who helped you?

# Then rushing through the Paris night

# They hounded you, you lost control

# We prayed that you would be all right

# The news came through, your body cold

# Goodnight, my sweet princess

# Good night, my sweet... #

Was that originally
about Princess Diana?

Originally. But it fits perfectly,
doesn't it?

Not the car crash bit.

Well...

Your relationship with Lee
is a bit like a car crash.

In Paris?

City of love.

You're right.
It fits perfectly. Thank you.

# Every breath you take

# Every move you make, yeah... #

- Being dumped is the perfect excuse...
- I wasn't dumped.

...to do all the things you want to do.
- I wasn't dumped.

And actually, I have been thinking
of leaving.

Oh, I meant shagging...

How long have you been thinking
of leaving?

- Who's leaving?
- I am.

Well, that's just stupid.
You've got a job here for life.

Yeah. Actually, I don't want to
spend my life answering phones

in some crappy sub-branch
paper merchant's.

Dawn, work hard, you could be answering
those phones in Head Office

or a better paper merchant's.

Gareth, she doesn't want to waste
her life in paper.

Not a waste, actually, not a waste.

Look at Geoff Lamp.

42 years old, he's got his
own Porsche. That's from paper.

How long you been
thinking about leaving?

And are you going to lay down
any of those tracks?

Well, I've got a lot of 'em on demo
anyway from the band days,

but, you know, they're about 10 years
old, so if I wanted to send them out

I'd have to pretty much lay down
some drum and bass shit on them.

Like sample and shit.

And if you take the band
back on the road,

are you going to need any help
with that?

- Look, I'm sorry to...
- Hold on, man. What are you saying?

You know, are you going to need
a manager?

Well, I'll probably manage myself,
you know, 'cause...

I could be your assistant manager.

You could be assistant
to the manager. Hold on, man. Shoot.

Yeah, it's just we've got a lot to
get through and no one's back.

Yeah, I'm hearing you.
Do you want to go in,

get them over here 'cause Rowan
wants to crack on with this.

- Do you want me to discipline them?
- Nah, just get them over here. Done.

Imagine him in a band. Bald old git.

The glasses would be stupid, so...

What's the vibe in the second half?

'Cause...

Yeah. Not always for this company.
I've worked for various... Hi.

- Hi.
- Various companies over the years.

How did you get into doing this, then?
How did you start?

Doing what I do?
There are lots of ways, really.

Are you thinking of doing it?

I wouldn't mind, actually.
It looks like it is quite good fun.

- Does it?
- Yeah. It looks quite interesting.

Right. This next exercise
is all about forward planning

and teamwork.

I'm going to need to
put you into pairs for this.

So, um... Well, Gareth,
if you can go with Tim.

Oh, God!

Yeah, all right, smart arse.

I wouldn't want to be stuck with you
in a situation, either.

A situation? What?

Who would you rather be with on
a desert island, then, Gareth,

with some whittling wood and berries?

Daley Thompson.

Okay. Let me give you the problem.

A farmer, not pictured,

has a chicken, a bag of grain and a fox,

and he needs to get them
from one side of the river to the other.

But, and here's the rub,

his boat is only big enough
to take one item at a time.

So I want you to work out in what order
he takes them across the river.

- Remember...
- Five minutes, okay?

He can't take the fox first because
then the chicken will eat the seed.

You all right?

Okay. He can't take the grain first

because he can't leave the fox
and the chicken together.

The fox and the chicken together?
Bloodbath.

Yeah, I know. He can't
leave the chicken with the grain.

Er, hello? I'm a chicken. Thank you, Tim
for leaving me with my favourite food.

I was saying, Gareth,
you can't do that. All right?

How big is this chicken?
Is it the same size as a bag of grain?

- I don't know. Big chicken.
- Yeah. How big?

- Big. It's a super-chicken.
- Hmm.

What's the farmer doing with a fox?

A fox is a farmer's worst enemy.
He should drown the fox in the river.

Gareth, it's a puzzle.
It's just a puzzle.

Yeah, well, it's stupid.
It doesn't mean anything.

What are we learning from this?

It's not about learning,
it's just a problem to be solved.

- Put the grain on a wall.
- There's not a wall.

- There's always walls.
- Not here, there isn't.

What, there's just nothing?
There's just a farm and a river?

- Get his wife to help.
- He ain't got a wife.

- All farmers have wives.
- Not this one, he's gay.

Well, then he shouldn't be allowed
near animals, should he?

Then take the grain next.

- Then the grain.
- Yeah.

He's got to take the chicken first

so he can leave the fox with the grain.

- Shall I tell them?
- That's okay, I'll do it.

- They're more receptive to me.
- It's straightforward. Right, everybody.

Here's the answer.

First he takes the chicken across,
leaving the fox with the grain.

- Fine.
- Then he comes back

and takes the fox across,
but he brings the chicken back with him.

Then he takes the grain across,
leaves it with the fox,

and finally he comes back
for the chicken. And he's done it.

- Now, I'm sure you all got the answer...
- Easy.

Yeah, but you see,
the important thing here

is that you were all working as a team.

Sorry. Gareth?

Yeah. Some questions.

I hope that what that exercise
demonstrated was that it's vital

- that every member of a team...
- Follows a leader.

Well, knows their place
within that structure.

- Some may be leaders...
- He knows best, or she.

- Whoever's in charge may be the person.
- In a team of women, for example.

It may be women or men, of course,

but that somebody
may be scoring the goals...

DAVID: Can't stress that enough.
ROWAN: No, of course. Absolutely.

But it doesn't matter whether...
You may not be the person

ROWAN: who apparently...
DAVID: Unconditional trust,

is returned in leadership.

It's important that you know your place
and that you are supported by...

- Maybe we should just move on...
- Move on.

...at this stage to another exercise.
- Okay.

What about this one?

What do we think might be
the lesson here?

Dogs?

Say what you see, Gareth.

- Give a dog a bone.
- He's not Roy Walker, Gareth.

All right, then, what is it?

If we pull together in the same
direction, it's better for all of us.

Yeah, they could be fighting
over them bones.

They're not fighting, they're smiling.

In the picture, maybe, but in reality...

Look, the point here is that if the team
is focused on its objectives

and those of the individual members,

then it's easier for everyone
to achieve their goals.

It's like the fable. You know
the one where the dog's got a bone

and he goes down to the lake to get
a drink and he sees his reflection.

And he goes, "That dog's got
a better bone than mine.

"I think I'll have his as well."

And when he opens his mouth to get
the bone that's a reflection,

he drops the real bone
and he loses both.

And what's that got to do with this?

It's what Gareth was saying
about if we've got our bones,

don't go for other people's bones, fight
over them, because you'll lose your own.

What does that mean?

Ooh, don't you know? I thought it was...

Bones.

- I'm bored of this. I am so bored.
- Yeah. So am I.

No, sorry, I don't mean this.
I mean everything.

The job. I'm bored of the job.
Sorry, Rowan, no disrespect.

TIM: This is a waste of time.
ROWAN: I know how you feel.

MAN: Let's get on with this.
Nearly finished now.

I can't take any more of this nonsense.
I can't take another boring call

about Spa White index board
at 230 a tonne, so...

- 260.
- No, you're a twat, okay? Shut up.

Shut up. I'll give you my...
We'll work out my notice.

- Right now, I'm going. Goodbye.
- Tim, oh...

He'll be fine.

A waste of time.
It was all a waste of time.

Oh, see? Pressure.

Not as easy as it looks.

Sometimes the experience
outweighs the...

Sorry, David. Dawn.
I was just wondering,

now you've split up with Lee, would you
like to come out for a drink with me?

Um...

I haven't split up with him.

No, I know. I meant as a friend.
I did mean as a friend.

Okay. See you later. Yeah.

Go and get the guitar.

DAVID: Ooh.

I'll probably write a song
about this one day.

(STRUMMING GUITAR)

DAVID: # So what becomes of you,
my love, whoa

# When they have finally stripped you of

# The handbags and the gladrags

# That your granddad had to sweat
so you could buy, yeah #

We used to have a political reggae one
called Equality Street. So...

DAVID: Okay.