Original subtitles

Tobie: Welcome to Just Roll With it!

(theme music playing)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(cheering)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

All: Just Roll With It!

�(cheering) �(bell rings)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(audience cheering)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

Welcome to Just Roll With It!

(cheering)

When you hear this sound...

(foghorn blaring)

You, the audience, get to vote

on what happens to us in scene!

�(girls screaming) �(audience cheering)

(girls screaming)

�(screaming continuing) �(mouthing)

Um, Ramon, what's with the Scream Team?

Oh, those are just my adoring fans.

(screaming)

Wait a minute. I've met those girls.

One of them is your cousin,

and the other one is your neighbor.

(audience laughs)

Did he pay you to come here to make him look more famous?

(audience laughs)

(laughing awkwardly)

Oh!

Best fans in the biz, I tell you.

(sing�songy): Best fans in the biz!

Well, whatever happens tonight,

we'll have to...

All: Just Roll With It!

(cheering)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

I'm so excited. It's finally here!

Our town's 200th birthday!

It's so stupid we're throwing it a party.

It's a chunk of dirt.

Next thing you know, it'll be like,

"Happy birthday, lamppost!"

"Sorry for your loss, mailbox."

You're missing the point!

This is a celebration of all of Akron, Ohio's

amazing accomplishments!

This is where oatmeal was first introduced

to the United States!

This is the former rubber capital of the world!

Ooh, say it with me, Blair. Yay, rubber!

Blair?

Today's gonna be awesome.

I've got some great stunts to promote the station.

I don't wanna give too much away,

but let's just say I've got 200 gallons

of Akron's official town chowder.

Clam!

And I'm gonna be spraying it all over everybody.

One gallon for each year Akron's

Akron's been a city!

Byron, people don't wanna be covered in clam chowder.

Everyone wants to be covered in clam chowder.

I don't want you messing anything up.

My boss is throwing this festival.

He flew in all the way from England

to make sure everything goes smoothly.

Radio family!

There you are!

And exactly where your tracking devices said you'd be.

Sir Liam Gooch, it's great to see you again.

Oh, I can only imagine.

I was wondering

whether you'd seen the governor here yet.

Now, when you say governor,

do you mean our state's actual governor,

or is it just how you Brits call everyone "guv'nor"?

No, no, no. The actual governor.

Yes, you see the only reason I paid for this festival

is because I'm hoping he'll help me

with a business deal I'm working on.

Yes, evidently, in the colonies,

it's illegal to strip�mine a forest

just because some kind of "rare bird" lives there.

We'll let you know if we spot him.

Ah, well, thank you very much. I'll, uh, I'll keep looking.

See you later!

Guv'nor.

Ooh, I'm starving.

I'm gonna go to the Hurricane Cantina booth

and grab some Fully Loaded Firecracker Fajita Fries.

Ooh! Pick me up two Gut�bustin' Habanero Sausage Wieners

while you're at it.

They're so worth the 24 hours on the toilet.

�Rachel: Come on. �Mmm�mmm, man.

(in monotone voice): I can't believe we're throwing

a stupid party for this dumb town.

Everyone in it is all like,

"You gotta pick up your room, Norvin.

"You gotta let your sister play, too, Norvin.

You gotta let me see your search history, Norvin."

Uh, I think that's just your mom.

Norvin's an idea man,

and I got an idea on how to ruin

this stinking festival once and for all.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Both: Ha, ha, ha, ha...

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Blair, I just overheard Norvin Schnuckle

talking about how he's going to ruin

our beloved town's bicentennial festival.

Shh! I'm kind of in the middle of a scheme right now.

(foghorn blaring)

�(audience cheering) �Owen: Ha�ha! Ha�ha!

�Announcer: All right, audience, first vote. �(bell dinging)

You decide what animals do Blair and Owen

enter in the dog show.

Our actors are leaving the stage,

so we can prepare your choice.

Vote now.

Guys, what is going to happen?

Announcer: And let's get back to the scene.

♪ ♪

�Director: Action! �My scheme is for one of us to win

the dog show and all that sweet prize money.

Mom's the judge, so we've got that going for us.

As your judge,

the show dog, Holly,

will run the obstacle course first.

(cheering)

Let's hear it for Holly the show dog!

(cheering)

I'm going to spice things up.

We didn't enter boring old dogs.

We entered a donkey and a guinea pig.

�(bell dings) �(audience cheering)

Blair: Oh, my!

�Ooh! �Ooh!

�(Owen laughs) �Blair: Aw!

Owen: Oh, yes!

On your mark, get set, go!

And they're off.

(braying)

Go on, Blair, you got this!

�(braying) �Blair: Come on. Come on.

�Byron: Ooh, he's doing it! �Go! It's doing it!

�(braying) �Let's go.

Let's go.

Now we gotta come this way and go that direction.

�(Blair shrieks) �(brays)

Don't get him angry, Blair!

(brays)

�Byron: Whoa! Whoa! �Rachel: It's okay.

You can just skip that part.

No, no, go through here. Come on.

�(braying loudly) �Come on.

And let's hear it for Blair and the donkey!

(cheering)

�Rachel: Owen's up next. On your mark... �Owen: All right.

...get set, go!

(Byron laughs)

�There they are! Oh! �That was a nice, nice flex.

Owen: Ho! Ho!

�Oh! He's booking! �Owen: Oh!

Hoo!

This is so cheating.

And jump!

Jump!

Yeah, then we're gonna skip this. Yep.

Get right over there.

(cheering)

Oh, big finish! (shouting)

�(cheering) �Rachel: Yay!

(cheering)

Well, it was a stiff competition,

but there can only be one winner,

and that winner today is...

Holly the dog!

(cheering)

Well, that didn't work.

Sorry, Owen, can't help you with that Norvin thing.

I gotta go plan my next scheme. Good luck!

I'm telling you, Byron, this clam chowder is a bad idea.

Dad! Rachel!

I just overheard a terrible plot,

and everyone keeps ignoring me, but I know you'll listen to me.

Not now, Owen, grownups are talking!

Please let me spray clam chowder on everybody!

Rachel: Byron, this event is very important to my boss,

and your stunt idea is gonna get everyone sick!

You left that clam chowder sitting

open in the basement all weekend.

(retches)

It's definitely gone rotten.

The chowder is rotten? I just ate a big scoop!

�What? �That was for my stunt.

I�I�I'm sorry. I was hungry.

(stammers): Oh boy.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

And it's well established from previous adventures

that whenever Owen gets sick,

�he hallucinates. �He hallucinates.

♪ ♪

(cheering)

♪ ♪

(cackling)

♪ ♪

Blair? Sir Gooch?

Mom and Byron wanted me to take you home to rest

because you ate bad clam chowder

and were running around with your shirt off,

yelling that you have "chowder fever."

Oh no. Did anyone see me?

We got you outta there before too many people noticed,

but the video I posted of it has three million views.

You kept blathering on about some bad kid

trying to destroy my festival.

Uh... Yes! Norvin Schnuckle!

I overheard him and his friend planning it.

Oh, blast. I was afraid something like this would happen.

Well, luckily, I have planned for just such an occasion.

Yes, I have been keeping tabs

on certain citizens who have displayed

extraordinary, almost superhuman

abilities during the last year.

Now, my plan is to make them into a team

to protect our fair city in the event of a crisis.

I call this team the Preventers Directive.

�(remote clicks) �(fanfare plays)

Uh, what was that?

Oh see, I've got this little remote thingy,

and when I press the button here,

�a computer plays that song�� Ooh! �(foghorn blaring)

(audience cheering)

�Announcer: Okay, audience. �(bell dings)

You choose what does Sir Liam Gooch's computer

make Owen and Blair do?

Director: So, we're gonna start on,

"I have this little remote thingy,

and when I press it..." That's where we will start.

Announcer: And let's get back to the scene!

Director: Action!

You see, I have this little remote thingy here,

�and when I press this button... �(clicks)

Computer: Security alert. Scanning room.

Three humans identified.

Uh�oh, I forgot about my computer's

security clearance system. Oh dear.

Well, you see, I'm afraid that

both of you are gonna have to take

a computer security clearance test.

The thing is, I have a special talent.

See, what I can do is...

draw photo�realistic portraits

of people that I... know quite well.

There we go. Look at that.

�Pretty good, huh? �Computer: Sir Liam Gooch

identity confirmed.

Two remaining humans must also draw

� photo�realistic portraits. �Sir Gooch: Yeah, there you go.

Thank you.

(cheering)

The best thing that we could do is for you,

Blair, to draw a portrait of Owen.

Owen, you draw a portrait of Blair.

If you fail, my Royal Cow Guard will be deployed.

Trust me, you don't wanna mess with them.

Face your boards. You got two and a half minutes.

Draw!

�Okay! �Blair: I'm starting��

And no erasing! That's an extra rule.

No erasing.

Owen: Make me look as beautiful as I am, Blair.

�Owen: Sir Gooch�� �Oh, he's got either an acorn

or an amoeba. I'm not sure what's there.

Really, Owen? That's nice.

�Owen: This is already looking amazing. �Sir Gooch: Ah, yes, of course.

Right, well, I take it they don't teach, uh...

they don't teach art in American schools, do they?

(audience laughing)

�(Blair speaks indistinctly) �I�I hope Blair's talking to Owen after this one.

You may never want to speak to him again.

Very pretty. It's a very pretty Owen over here.

Blair: I know, right?

Michelangelo, you can relax.

�(Owen giggles) �Sir Gooch: All right, time's up!

By applause, what do you think about

Blair's portrait of Owen?

(applause, cheering)

And what about Owen's portrait of Blair?

(scattered applause, cheers)

�I kind of concur with that. �(Owen laughs)

All right! I'm afraid you have failed.

Computer: Security clearance failed.

Deploy Royal Cow Guard.

(siren blaring)

Wait, wait, wait! Art is subjective!

Remember, wherever cows go,

�there goes their milk! �No!

�What?! �Sir Gooch: There we go! There we go!

(shrieking, laughing)

Oh dear. The price of failure.

�Anyone got any cookies? �This is so disgusting!

This is the weirdest security measure ever!

Computer: Security threat

�eliminated. �Thank you very much.

�(audience cheering) �Thank you, guys.

Well, come on. We gotta get back to the Preventers Directive.

(cheering)

Unlike 99.99%

of what adults usually talk about,

the Preventers Directive actually sounds

like it might be cool. But who's on the team?

(remote clicks)

Sir Gooch: Well, first up,

ROBOT 8700.

Byron ordered him as a radio stunt,

but then he went berserk and demolished half the town.

He still roams the streets today,

but I believe we could harness

his cutting�edge technology to best our adversaries.

Next up...

Ungar the Vindictive,

a freakishly large 12�year�old

from the Siberian Death�lands.

Yeah, he beat Owen rather badly

in this year's karate tournament. (chuckles)

Ouch!

Next up, we have�� Ah!

Lil' Pouty!

Yeah, this eccentric hip�hop star,

whose impressive skill at reaching out

and connecting with the younger generation

could be very useful to us. And that brings us to...

�My love! �T. O. T!

I see you remember this masterfully crafted

artificially intelligent toilet

that spent some time living with your family

before returning to its Japanese homeland.

Sir Gooch, where did you get all these photos?

This one was taken from inside our house.

Oh, yes, well, I put hidden cameras

in most of my employees' living rooms.

Yeah, but let's not get into that right now.

The important thing is we need to get these heroes

together to save this city.

Now, I'll track down

the robot and Ungar the Vindictive.

You go looking for Lil' Pouty and the talking toilet.

How do we know where they are?

Ah, well, they should both be in Japan right now.

Yeah, as luck would have it, Lil' Pouty is doing a concert

on a pleasure cruise which T. O. T is known to frequent.

Preventers, let's go...

prevent something bad from happening!

�That is not catchy. �Doesn't really roll off the tongue.

Yeah, I know. We'll work on that...

♪ ♪

(applause, cheering)

♪ ♪

Why'd you make us dress like this?

We're in disguise. We're two tourists from Indiana!

(sighs) Okay, but if I'm gonna do this,

then I'm gonna do this right.

My name is Bethany and I'm starting over

from my third failed marriage.

I left the kids with my mom for the week,

and I'm just looking for a little fun with my girls.

Uh, Blair, we're 13 years old.

Fine, then my first failed marriage.

Look!

That poster says Lil' Pouty performs tonight

in the main auditorium!

Okay, let's split up.

You get Pouty, and I'll find T. O. T.

�Preventers! �Prevent!

�Ooh, I like that! �I just kinda said it, but it works.

(gong clangs)

♪ ♪

T.O.T: I've beaten you three times in a row,

Mr. Akachan Yamamoto.

Perhaps this is just not your night.

T.O.T! I can't believe I found you!

�I thought I'd never see you again! �Blair!

Oh, how I've missed you!

I think about you and Owen every day!

�(speaks Russian) �Uh, no, Oxana!

I�it's not like that! She's just...

a friend of mine from the Americas!

(speaks Japanese)... Mr. Toilet.

This one's for all the marbles.

I accept, and once again,

Oxana will be my hands.

Oh, now he needs me.

Okay. It's time for us to play

the ancient, sacred, time�honored game of skill.

Munchy Munchy Monkeys!

(speaks Japanese)

(rattling)

(gong clangs)

(knocking)

♪ ♪

Uh, Lil' Pouty? Sir?

What?!

It's Owen, from Akron, Ohio.

Owen! How you doing, my man?

What are you doing all the way in Japan?

(grunting, sighs)

(panting): Man,

has standing up gotten way harder or is it just me?

Uh... (chuckles) Whoa, you...

look different. Are you okay?

No. No, little man,

I am not okay. (crying)

I came to this country to kick off the first leg of the...

"My Haters Have Made Some Legitimate Points,

But I Still Ain't Listening To Them" tour.

�But then, I got addicted to fresh sushi�� Oh! �(foghorn blaring)

(cheering)

Announcer: Last vote, audience!

You get to decide what food combination

Lil' Pouty is addicted to.

First, pick a liquid from this list.

Next, choose a protein.

And finally, select a dessert.

Now, let's get back to the scene.

Director: Action!

Oh, but then I got addicted to

the pleasure cruise special.

Fish sauce and octopus

in lime gelatin!

�(bell dinging) �(audience cheering)

Dante, show the little man what I'm talking about!

All right, all right, all right!

One special bowl coming right up!

�We got some lime gelatin. �(coughs)

Why do I feel like I'm gonna have to eat this, too?

�Dante: Ooh... �Owen: Oh, wow.

Audience: Ew!

Dante: A little... octopus!

�(audience groans) �Y�you mix it together?

(gasping, screaming)

Dante: Oh come on, you gotta have a little special sauce on that.

Fish sauce it is.

(audience screaming)

Uh, I think I'm gonna turn the color of that gelatin.

Oh baby...

This seems like a very easy thing

to not get addicted to.

Audience: Ew!

Come on! Yeah! Oh yeah!

(audience screaming)

Lil' Pouty: Mm! Oh, that was so good!

I think it's only fair that you taste some now, Owen.

Owen! Owen!

All: Owen! Owen! Owen!

Owen! Owen! Owen!

(screaming)

�(screaming) �Lil' Pouty: Oh!

(screaming)

(laughter)

It's the fish sauce that makes it bad, isn't it?

Is it, uh, supposed to feel like

it's grabbing your tonsils on the way down?

(applause, cheering)

I know it's gross, but I just can't get enough of it!

I'm so broken, Owen!

(cries): I'm so broken!

Ah...

(gong clangs)

♪ ♪

(chuckles) Twenty�two.

Oh no. I only have twenty�four! Looks like I won again!

�(laughing) �(clapping)

That's impossible!

Way to go, T. O. T!

You are my hero, Captain Stud!

So, T. O. T, what have you been up to?

Are you here with your family?

Unfortunately, no.

After I left you and Owen, I went to live

with my toilet family in Japan.

But we had a huge fight over Japanese Thanksgiving,

and they disowned me.

That's when I decided that I didn't need a family.

I made a vow to live only for myself

and the pleasures of the porcelain.

But T. O. T, we need you.

Some weird kid is trying to destroy our town's festival.

(gasps) Not the bicentennial!

Yes! Come back,

save the city,

and then you can live with our family again.

I'm sorry, Blair.

I only live for number one now.

I think I'm destined to just be��

Ah... ah... achoo!

�(marbles scattering) �(gasps)

What is that?

♪ ♪

Extra marbles?!

(gasping)

Mr. Toilet Man is cheating!

(gasping)

I'm sure he wasn't. Look,

�we don't want any problems. �Who are you?

I'm Bethany, recent divorcee...

who's kid�free for the week.

I'm just looking for a little fun with my girls. Woo!

You say you are here to have fun

with your girls, yet you have no squad!

You have dishonored this game,

this Japanese pleasure cruise,

and girl squads everywhere!

For that, you both must be punished!

Announcer: What will happen next?

Will Norvin destroy the festival?

Will Owen be able to get Lil' Pouty's life back on track?

Will Blair and T. O. T be fed to the Japanese river sharks?

Tune in next time on Just Roll With It!

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(cheering)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(cheering continues)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(cheering continues)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

(theme music playing)

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪