Original subtitles

[BANGING AND CLATTERING]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

Oh, my God!

- You're Jann! - [ROCK THEME MUSIC]

It was like that when I got there!

[QUIETLY] I am so frickin' hungry.

- Ooh, I love those, love those! - [ROCK GUITAR MUSIC]

Love those! Road flares?

Small, small, extra-large. Fashion! Mm-hmm!

The, uh... loo is out of toilet paper.

Is there anything else?

It was like that when I got there!

I got pop, I got water, I got popcorn twists

I got nacho chips, I got some chocolate.

All set!

Well, we're definitely not going to starve

on this three hour road trip.

Oh, did you want snacks?

- Did you pay for the gas? - It's your car.

[PHONE RINGING AND VIBRATING]

Oh, not now, Satan.

[MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

What are you doin' in the back seat?

Watching Frozen, I actually never saw the end to this thing.

Does everybody freeze to death, or what?

Get in the front.

I hate these doors

so... goddamn... much!

[FUNKY ROCK MUSIC]

Do these make my face look wide?

- Very. - I don't think they do.

Ahem. Look, here's the deal.

We should arrive at the motel around 6 PM.

All I am up for tonight is a quick dinner and then early bed.

OK? Because I just... I need to be

in a clear state of mind for tomorrow.

Sounds good to me. I'll be friggin' hungry by then!

OK. This guy, my biological dad,

he's doing some...

Jazz brunch at the motel bar.

OK? His set starts at 9 AM

so I need you up and ready

by 8:45.

- Can you do that? - Yes!

Tomorrow's just gonna be really stressful, OK?

We're kind of ambushing this guy.

What if it backfires?

Max, you are an amazing person

and if you're half of him,

he's an amazing person too,

- right? - Yeah.

Or...

He could be a serial killer...

...which is fine,

because he would never kill his own child.

[ROCK GUITAR MUSIC]

I miss Mommy so much.

Yeah. Me too.

[RAPID KNOCKING]

- Hi, Dave! - Oh, hi, Liz.

Listen, um... I noticed that Max...

Left in the van 47 minutes ago and she hasn't come back.

Oh, you noticed that? Huh...

Well, and also she had a suitcase,

so made me think maybe she's never coming back.

Oh, yeah? No, no. She's coming back.

- Oh. - Yeah. Soon.

Oh, well I was home alone...

Thinking of you.

And I thought, you know, that precious family

could use some of my famous sweet buns,

- Oh! - Especially that delicious...

Daddy, Dave.

OK, thank you!

Oh. Uh-oh.

Um...

I'll let Max know you stopped by.

OK. that's great.

- And... thank you! - Uh-huh.

Oh, and you're trying to come in, huh?

I overheard Max saying, you know,

that you guys repainted your master bedroom, so

thought maybe I could, uh...

- See it. - No.

- Oh. - It's just white.

- It's wh...? Ah, you're hilarious! - I know!

- OK, I'll see you later! - OK!

This place 100% has bedbugs.

When did you get so precious?

It doesn't have bedbugs.

[GASP]

Why is there carpeting in the bathroom?

You know what we should do tonight?

Chill out, watch a movie, order pizza.

[GASP] Max?

Frozen is on.

You know what? I can't seem to relax.

I think I just maybe need a drink.

I don't even miss alcohol.

Oh, well, that is super, super great for you.

Could we talk about...

Maybe, your anxiety surrounding tomorrow?

Because this is a safe place.

Except for the remote, the drapes,

the bedspread, the electrical outlets, the microwave,

and whatever that stain is over there.

I don't really want to talk about it.

You should what I want to do?

I want to prepare for tomorrow by staking out the bar.

Hey, well, you don't even have the key to the room!

? I would do anything for love ?

[OUT OF TUNE] ? But I won't do that ?

? Or will I? ?

Already have!

[SINGING] And you will again.

[LAUGHING]

Two J�ger shots, please...

And a Diet Coke for my sister...

Boop!

You ladies here for our karaoke competition?

- No! - First prize is a meat basket.

What a shame. I was toying with the idea of becoming vegan.

Please sign up. Brandine will go all night if no one else sings.

? As long as the planets are turning ?

That's hilarious, actually,

because singing to me is more of a job than a pastime

but thank you... Dan.

I'm really sorry about my sister.

She's unsufferable.

- Half-sister! - OK.

? Anything for love ?

Listen, you are vibrating up here.

If you really worked on it,

you could like, relax yourself down

to a mid-range annoying buzz.

Enough with the advice!

I am in therapy so I know what I'm talking about.

Then stop talking!

- Stop trying to get the last word! - That's it!

I challenge you to a karaoke battle.

- [FAINTLY]: ? For love ? - It's not happening.

? Just won't... do that... ?

- You're sensational. - [FEEDBACK SQUEALS]

Hi, people! My name is Max,

and... whew,

this booze is kinda hitting me hard...

- [SLOW CLAPPING] - Aw, thank you, sir.

Anyway, I have challenged

my know-it-all sister, Jann...

To a karaoke battle

and she's refusing to do it.

Instead, she's just sitting there,

contemplating becoming a vegan

and psychoanalyzing everything that I do.

I'm not doing it!

- I'll do it. - Sit down, Brandine!

Well, I guess that means that I'm the winner.

Instead of a duet, I'll just put on

a dazzling solo performance

and show all of these fine people

who the true talent in the family is!

Oh, look. Here she is.

Total Eclipse of the Heart, and turn my mic' up.

This is going to be so embarrassing for you.

Hey, I'm Jann.

I'm a professional singer from Calgary, Alberta.

[TINNY KARAOKE INTRO]

? Turn around ?

- [BOOING] - ? Every now and then ?

? I get a little bit lonely ?

? 'Cause you never come around ?

? Turn around every now and then ?

? I get a little bit tired ?

? Of listening to the sound ?

- ? Of my tears ? - [EMOTIONAL KEY CHANGE]

[TOGETHER]: ? And I need you now tonight ?

? And I need you ?

? More than ever ?

? And if you only ?

- ? Hold me tight ? - [MAN]: Yeah, Brandine!

- ? We'll be holding on ? - [BRANDINE GRUNTS]

? Forever ?

? And we'll only be making it right ?

? And we'll never be wrong ?

- [JANN]: ? Together... ? - [TOGETHER]: ? We can take it ?

? To the end of the line ?

? Your love is like a shadow ? [SONG FADING]

[FAINTLY] ? All of the time ?

[WATER FLOWING]

[MUFFLED CHEERING]

[MUFFLED WOLF WHISTLING]

[FULL SOUND RESUMES]

J�ger shots for everybody!

In the house, from me, Jann Arden!

? I really need you tonight ?

? Forever's gonna start tonight ?

? Forever's gonna start tonight ?

? Once upon a time ? ? I was falling in love ?

? And now I'm only falling apart ?

? Nothing I can say ?

? A total eclipse of the heart ?

? Total eclipse of the... ? ? Heart ?

[ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE]

You win the meat basket!

- Not you, the hot one. - Hmm.

[CHEERING]

Whatever. Meat is murder, Max. Murder!

I cannot believe we're back here.

So embarrassing.

Well, maybe they won't recognize us.

You go.

- [CLAPPING] - [INDISTINCT LEWD COMMENTS]

Look who it is, yeah!

Hey. You left your bra here last night.

- Ah, jeez. - Yeah, yeah. Not you.

The hot one.

Oh my God.

Build your own Caesar bar, I love these!

I couldn't just wear one of my cute bras,

it had to be this piece of garbage?

Well, in your defence,

it's not like you woke up yesterday and thought,

oh gosh, maybe I'll wear one of my cute bras, in case I end up

flinging it into the face of somebody named Rawdog Robbie!

Well, it worked, so.

Those glasses make your face look wide.

[GROAN]

This is a virgin Caesar.

I get it!

Oh my God, Max!

[UNCOMFORTABLE LAUGHING]

Is this your dad?

Jazz brunch!

I knew it! You got the skinny genes.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[SING-SONG VOICE]: Knock, knock.

Oh! That was... out of sequence.

- You just come in the back door. - Front door was locked.

For a reason. Wh... wh... what are you doin' here?

Brought you some ripe melons.

[AWKWARD LAUGH]

You did, thank you.

Girls, Liz is here, from next door.

You remember Liz, right?

Girls! [SNAPPING FINGERS]

- Liz is here. - [GIRLS]: Hi!

We're watching squishy editorials!

- Check this one out. - Oh, yeah!

- It's fascinating. - It's a heart one.

Any pictures of daddy there?

- [GIRLS]: Yeah! - Let me see.

What this brunch needs is some jazz.

Where is your dad?

Guess I get my punctuality from Mom.

And your weird earlobes.

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

Hey, this is gonna sound insane,

but Bitchy Liz just showed up here

for the second time in 2 days.

She's wearing what looks like

a dryland bathing suit

and she keeps bringing me provocative foods.

That sneaky little witch.

Who? Mom?

What do I do? She's incredibly handsy.

Um, just be nice to her.

That's it? That's not the advice I was hoping for.

I know, but we can't piss her off until

after she votes me back on the PTA.

They're passing the new sex education curriculum next week

and we need one that includes the discussion of consent.

- Oh, I got you! - Ha! Ha! Ha! OK!

Yeah, well, that is incredibly important, so...

I got to go. I love you,

- I'll talk to you later. - Bye, bye, bye.

Don't go to a second location with her.

- You'll be fine. - Right.

- [SOFT JAZZ MUSIC] - Is everything OK?

Liz is hitting on Dave and it's freaking him out.

[LAUGHING]

Somebody is hitting on Dave, yeah, sure!

Oh. Speaking of hitting on...

Hello, daddy.

That is indeed my daddy.

Oh! I'm so sorry.

That's my bad.

Listen, go up there, introduce yourself.

That's why we came all this way.

I don't know what to say to him!

You can do it. You're ready!

That's just it. Sitting here, now,

I don't think I'm ready.

Fine. I will do it.

Dan, another glass of ice, please.

You having a hot flash?

[LAUGHING]

I chew ice when I get nervous.

Uh!

Got any nervous kids you don't know about?

Hey, wait a minute. I know you.

I've got your album, Living under June.

- You're a very talented artist. - Thank you.

- Marty. Pleasure. - Pleasure to meet you, Marty.

- I'm Max! - Holy hell!

Hey, this is my...

Half-sister, Max.

If you get my drift.

Hello, Max.

I'm meeting you.

And I'm meeting you.

So, um... How long have you been doing

the jazz brunches, Marty?

Well, I've been doing it every year during the off season

and the rest of the year, I'm performing around the world

and making new friends.

A true rolling stone.

Been that way all my life, wouldn't have it any other way.

Can I have a glass of ice, please?

So, you never settled down?

No kids, no regrets?

Not one.

You're Marty.

Is your sister OK?

She has this condition where she just says the obvious.

You really get used to it.

- After a while. - Ah!

Uh, well, my set is about to start, so...

I'll have to get on up there.

So you're leaving now. So bye.

Bye.

I just had a change of heart

and then before I knew it, I was out of my seat

and talking to him.

You were kind of talking at him!

Do you think it went OK?

- Compared to what? - I mean.. Was I shouting?

'Cause I couldn't hear myself.

Max...

He is a really decent guy.

He's had a good life. He's happy, he's grateful.

He never, ever wanted kids.

Oh, my God.

- What just happened? - [DRUM ROLLS]

[MARTY]: Hello, everyone and uh...

Welcome to Jazz Brunch.

Just a reminder from the house

that the build-your-own- ceasar-bar is not a buffet.

The food is meant to punctuate your beverages as a garnish,

not to feed a family of four,

by stacking your items on the glass like an edible Jenga.

- We're talking to you. - Me?

Food's not even that good here!

We are so very lucky here today, because...

We have a special guest in the audience.

This woman is, uh...

a really wonderful singer-songwriter,

so would you please put your hands together

for the one and only Jann Arden!

[APPLAUSE]

- Ready, boys? - [JAZZ MUSIC]

Do you want to go home?

Let's go home. Come on.

So where are your kids and your husband, Liz?

You're looking really good, Dave. Good for you.

I don't like this.

Oh, you should learn how to take a compliment.

You DILF!

Sturdy. That's good.

Much like my marriage.

- [DOORBELL CHIMES] - Door!

[DOOR OPENS]

I'm looking for Jann.

Is she hiding in the suburbs

'cause she thinks I would never come here?

No, but come on right in.

We'll look for her together even if it takes all day.

Cale, this is our neighbor Liz.

I brought fresh melons.

I'm sure you did.

You need to stay in your lane.

Oh... This day just keeps getting worse.

- We're back! - Oh, thank God!

- How was your hair appointment? - Great!

Blow-outs were half off,

so Nora treated me as a thank you

for taking her to her appointment.

Oh, it's cute, Todd.

You're cute.

Cale! What are you doing in the suburbs?

Looking for Jann, but now that you're here,

we have a huge problem

that still needs to be addressed.

- Now? - Why not now?

If you make me sweat, I'll ruin my blow-out.

That would be a blessing.

You meeting with Jann behind my back

is absolutely not appropriate.

This is a real teaching moment

for you also. Take notes.

Todd is only doing what he thinks is best.

Maybe he's trying to help you. Have you ever thought of that?

Gram, you can't be serious.

You've been here the whole time?

Cale is working hard for Jann.

She deserves to know what's going on.

Thank you, Charley.

I'm Jann's manager.

I have a plan for her career,

and it's derailed every time she meets with you.

The last thing I want is bad blood.

But sometimes, you aren't the easiest person to talk to,

so Jann comes to me.

How much can you deadlift?

Todd is right.

You need to take a cold hard look

at your bedside manner.

Well, maybe they both need to take a cold hard look in the mirror.

Great suggestion.

Have you even seen your hair, Todd?

You look ridiculous.

Bangs are back, Cale.

How are you feeling? Wanna talk about it?

It's just bringing up a lot of stuff for me.

Like what?

Did you know, when we were growing up,

I was super envious of you?

- Really? - Yeah.

You got to follow your dream,

you became a really successful singer.

I fell in love with the wrong guy and...

- Yes, you did. - Had Charley when I was 19...

On my worst days, it was Dad who got me through.

You always had a way of looking on the bright side.

When I was feeling jealous of you, or just...

Inadequate in general,

he would say: "Sure, Jann's got the voice, but...

you've got the whole band."

He was a great dad. I miss him.

I miss him too.

What does that mean exactly, you've got the whole band?

Just... the whole package.

Sometimes you're a drum kit short of being tolerable.

I don't really understand that,

but it hurts me on some level.

- Listen, I'm just giving you the facts. - Yeah.

[TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART PLAYING ON THE RADIO]

Really?

[SINGING ALONG]: ? More than ever ?

[BOTH SINGING]: ? And if you'll only hold me tight ?

? We'll be holding on forever ?

? And we'll only be making it right ?

? As we'll never be wrong ?

? Together we can make it ? ? To the end of the line ?

? Your love is like a shadow ? ? On me all of the time ?

OK, since none of you idiots are leaving,

raise your hand if you're hungry.

Alright.

- Then help me with lunch prep. - Oh!

- Fine. - I'll cut the cheese.

Jann is my client.

You can't even find her now.

I lost the scent in the suburbs!

Cale, how can I make this better? What do you want me to do?

If Jann approaches you about business,

do me the curtesy of letting me know.

What about the fact than Jann and I are real friends,

in real life?

Am I supposed to contact you every time

we want to get our eyebrows threaded?

Like this?

It's just lunch, Liz.

Here. Can you guys unwrap these wieners?

Wish that was my job.

You need a hobby, dear.

- Are you crying? - You're so ridiculous.

Don't even try with me, Todd...

Do you think this is enough?

- All of you! - Are you OK, Cale?

Please! For the love of God, shut it down!

- OK. - Um, hi, guys!

Cale! You found me.

I knew I would eventually.

I like your bangs, Todd.

Thank you, Jann.

- [ALL GASPING AND EXCLAIMING] - Uh-uh.

- Well, there go the burgers. - I got this!

Excuse me.

No!

It's good!

- Well, great news! - I'm fine!

I won a meat basket.

But that's because, I am a better singer...

Than Jann.

The DJ was tone deaf,

but I'm going to give Max the false win.

Well...

I love you so much.

Wow! You've been through a lot.

Glad you're back guys.

Cale, Charley, help me set the table.

Hon, did you notice that Liz is here?

I did. Hi, Liz.

Oh! Look at that.

You tore your top.

No. I bought it like that.

- Oh... - Liz has had a...

- Super active weekend. - Yes, I have!

She made sticky buns,

she dressed up like sporty spice...

She broke in the backdoor.

Yeah, but most importantly,

she came here to see you. Isn't that right, Liz?

That is... That's right.

She wanted to tell you in person,

that you're back on the PTA!

- What? - Isn't that great?

Thanks, Liz.

Of course, of course.

You're so much better than my husband.

- Am I? - Yeah.

Maybe we should invite him over.

No, he's a terrible wingman.

You having a good day?

A barbecue with the whole family?

I couldn't ask for a better day.

Dave! Nice buns.

Oh, for...

I don't want to get sentimental, but...

I just want you to know that

you and Dad were the best parents

I could have ever ask for.

Oh, Maxie!

Thank you, for everything you did for us.

Being a mom to you girls

is my greatest accomplishment.

Now, for my light eaters...

One burger split two ways,

- extra cheese. - Thank you.

So...

You're gonna tell me about this roadtrip?

It was pretty uneventful.

Unless we have bedbugs, then...

- We one 100% have bedbugs. - Yeah.

synced & corrected by PopcornAWH www.addic7ed.com

- You OK? - Yeah.

Max, there is bedbugs! I swear to God.

Oh, God! Oh...

Max! Max!

Max! Max? Max!

- [MUMBLING]: Bedbugs? - What?

Cale...

Jann.

For God's sakes does it have to be a jumpsuit?

What if I have to pee?

Is it too late to cut a little flap into this thing?

Hey Keisza those are my flogga pants!

Who are you wearing tonight?

Ah Nadine Duwal

Oh like Madeline Merlo?

Do I have my jumpsuit on backwards?

I've got a flap in mine, it's for peeing.

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