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1
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,000
No, no,
I completely understand.
2
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Please don't feel bad about it.
You just stay safe.
3
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,000
This doesn't look good.
4
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,000
-We'll still get paid, right?
-Yeah.
5
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,000
But we don't want
our first wedding here
6
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,000
People will think
the place is cursed.
7
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000
-It is.
-Not haunted.
8
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,000
-I mean, like, unlucky.
-It isn't not unlucky.
9
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,000
-Hmm.
-That was Michelle.
10
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,000
-The Kingsleys
can't make it either.
11
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,000
Yeah, Mike and Valerie
just texted to say,
12
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,000
"Accident on the M4.
13
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,000
-"Traffic isn't moving."
-
14
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,000
Ooh, it's
the wedding planner.
15
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,000
Hi. Hi, Martin.
16
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,000
-We've been trying
to get hold of you.
17
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,000
I didn't have the Bluetooth in.
Just to give you the rundown.
18
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,000
The DJ can't make it,
but the equipment's all there
19
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,000
if anyone wants to step in.
20
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,000
-The caterers are with you,
I think.
21
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000
But the waiting staff
are mostly crying off,
22
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,000
so it might have
to be a bit more of
23
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,000
Okay. Well, I'll let you
co-ordinate that.
24
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,000
Ah. That's the thing.
25
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000
I've had
a little bit of a dink.
26
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,000
Sorry, sir, we need to end
the call now, please.
27
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000
I'd better go.
28
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,000
-Oh, my God.
-It's fine.
29
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000
I think I'm in shock!
30
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,000
-POLICE OFFICER: Sir,
31
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,000
-Right. Got to go.
Good luck with it all.
32
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,000
-Ciao, ciao, ciao.
-Oh, oh, oh...
33
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,000
-So where is he?
-Slight problem.
34
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,000
'Tis bad tidings
for the nuptials.
35
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,000
No, it's romantic!
36
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:51,000
A white wedding.
A white, white wedding!
37
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,000
Oh, I do wish
I could see the service.
38
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,000
Well, that's at
the church, Kitty,
39
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,000
I know.
40
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,000
If they can get there,
that is.
41
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,000
Beastly terrain
for civilian vehicles.
42
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,000
PAT: I remember my wedding day.
It was the best day of my life.
43
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,000
Carol in velvet,
44
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,000
me in a handsome
brown three-piece.
45
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,000
I cannot bear to think
of the joy that would've
46
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,000
-Oh!
-JULIAN: Don't remember
47
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,000
Assume it was fun.
Ahhh!
48
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,000
Mine was at
Winchester Cathedral.
49
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,000
I was given away
by the Marquis of Granby
50
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,000
-and the guests included the...
-
51
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,000
Something to say,
have we, Robin?
52
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,000
Well, in my day,
you do what you want.
53
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,000
You like someone,
you do it.
54
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,000
You like someone else,
you do it. Easy.
55
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,000
No one know
who their father is,
56
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,000
but everyone
raise children together.
57
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,000
-Peace and love.
-JULIAN: I see.
58
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,000
-Bloody hippy, eh?
-Sounds awful.
59
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:47,000
-It's not very romantic, is it?
-You, wife cheat on you.
60
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,000
And you cheat on wife.
61
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,000
And you,
husband cheat on you
62
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,000
with two men,
then kill you, so...
63
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,000
Open your eyes.
64
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,000
People not meant
to be mon-hog...
65
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,000
mono...
66
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,000
mo-hog... hog...
67
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,000
-Monogamous.
-That's what I said.
68
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,000
Dad, everyone's cancelling.
69
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,000
-How many men have we lost?
-DAD: Not everyone.
70
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,000
Sam's at the hotel,
and the family!
71
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,000
So vital personnel
are all still in the field?
72
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,000
CAPTAIN: Ah!
Michael's back from the front.
73
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,000
-Marquee's fallen down.
-CAPTAIN: Oh.
74
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,000
-BRIDE: What?
-Part of it. Most of it.
75
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,000
Oh, my God!
76
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,000
Best to cancel the wedding.
It be cursed.
77
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,000
CAPTAIN: No,
thank you, Mary.
78
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,000
We can do the meal
in the house.
79
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,000
-Good idea.
-Excellent.
80
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,000
How will everyone
get to the service?
81
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000
-You can't drive in this.
-We'll hike.
82
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,000
Yes, Alan. On foot.
We march.
83
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,000
That's not going to work
for Auntie Lou, is it?
84
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,000
Stretcher?
85
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,000
-Do you think
we should just cancel?
86
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,000
Well, what does Sam think?
87
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,000
We agreed not to talk.
88
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,000
It's bad luck
to see each other
89
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,000
Well, in that case.
90
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,000
Wouldn't want to make it worse.
91
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,000
Dad, I know it's silly,
but it's the one thing
92
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,000
Sorry.
93
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,000
I... I still think
we can do this, Clare,
94
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,000
if you want to.
95
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,000
You're here and...
and Sam's nearby.
96
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,000
Your dad's here,
and the bridesmaids
97
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,000
People that matter, right?
98
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,000
Good. Then we've
got to do it.
99
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,000
We're licensed, and I know
you wanted a church,
100
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,000
but if the mountain
can't come to Muhammad, then...
101
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,000
then we're going to bring
the vicar here.
102
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,000
And I know that
that's mixed metaphors,
103
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,000
but you know what I mean.
104
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,000
Very good.
105
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,000
Right, well, who's going
to go out in this
106
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,000
and get the vicar
from the top of the...
107
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,000
Me. It's me, innit?
108
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,000
All right. It's all part
of the Button House service.
109
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,000
-All right.
-
110
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,000
-Thirty?
-Oh, at least. Lost count.
111
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,000
-Busy bunny, eh?
-Oh, no.
112
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,000
This is not love you speak of!
113
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,000
'Tis but the carnality
of a beast.
114
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,000
Let me put you this.
115
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:58,000
If you had married Isabelle
and then you meet Alison...
116
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,000
They're 200 years apart,
man!
117
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,000
Question still stands.
118
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,000
Well, I'd...
119
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,000
-I'd...
-See?
120
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,000
Right, we're commandeering
the ballroom.
121
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,000
-What?
-What?
122
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,000
The wedding's happening here.
123
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,000
Yes! Oh, yes,
a thousand times yes!
124
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,000
-Whoa.
125
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,000
Oh, my God.
126
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,000
That has never happened before.
127
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,000
Right, I need to get chairs
in here.
128
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,000
What? Alison,
no, no, no, no.
129
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,000
You can't have
the service in here.
130
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,000
This isn't a church.
131
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,000
Where's the steeple,
where are the pews,
132
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,000
No, it's a great idea.
What can we do?
133
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:38,000
Well, nothing,
actually, Pat, can you,
134
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,000
Thank you, though.
135
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,000
Thank you, Patrick, carry on.
136
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,000
-Ooh, this looks amazing!
137
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,000
Oh, hi!
138
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,000
You made it! Come in.
Come in, come in.
139
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,000
The key, of course,
is symmetry.
140
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,000
Two banks of seating
with a clear avenue
141
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,000
for the entrance
of the bride.
142
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,000
Just line that up.
Very good, carry on.
143
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,000
I'm just trying to set up,
if anyone wants to help.
144
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,000
Yep, a little bit higher.
145
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,000
You want lovely long loops,
146
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,000
like waves across the space,
don't you think, Julian?
147
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,000
Mmm. Are there bridesmaids?
148
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,000
Oh, I hope you're going to
behave yourself today...
149
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,000
Because I have heard
about you.
150
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,000
-What do you think?
-Oh, it's wonderful.
151
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,000
I mean, it's like a...
it's like a flower grenade
152
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,000
-Oh.
-It's... It's fabulous.
153
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,000
Now I was thinking,
perhaps, flowers
154
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,000
-A floral streetlight,
if you will.
155
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,000
-BOTH: Robin!
156
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000
It wasn't me!
157
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,000
It was me.
158
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,000
-Everything all right, love?
-Yeah.
159
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,000
Sure I can't help?
160
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,000
Yeah.
161
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,000
She shakes!
'Tis another sign!
162
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,000
She's nervous!
163
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,000
Oh, I wish I could help!
164
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,000
Good morning.
165
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,000
-Hello.
-Father,
166
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,000
I've come to take you
to the wedding.
167
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,000
-We're doing the service
in the house.
168
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,000
I rather thought
it might be cancelled.
169
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,000
No, it's happening,
so if you want to grab
170
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,000
I'm afraid I'm carrying
a bit of an injury.
171
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,000
I'm not sure I can
walk down the hill.
172
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,000
Don't worry, Father,
you don't have to walk.
173
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,000
Ah.
174
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,000
MIKE: Look out!
175
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,000
-Ah, there we are.
-What?
176
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,000
-That's very sparkly.
-Yeah.
177
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,000
What has happened
to ties nowadays?
178
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,000
-Oh! Ooh!
-Ah.
179
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,000
Does nobody wear a gown
to a wedding nowadays?
180
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,000
You'd think this was a circus.
181
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,000
Oh, no, it's chic,
and it's now,
182
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,000
and if it makes her
feel fabulous, then,
183
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000
Oh, and trousers for you
as well!
184
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000
Hello!
185
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:12,000
Or should I say yellow?
Beautiful banana.
186
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,000
Do you recognise him?
Do you recognise him?
187
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,000
-Er...
-Where do I know him from?
188
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,000
-Is he off the telly?
-JULIAN: Ooh, yeah,
189
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000
He does look familiar.
190
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,000
Oh, my goodness,
Clare, it's beautiful!
191
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,000
Where be your garter?
The bride must be gartered!
192
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,000
-Oh, no!
-Alison!
193
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,000
It's not, er,
Dennis Waterman, is it?
194
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,000
Dennis Waterman?
195
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,000
He'd be 70 by now.
196
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,000
Oh, yeah,
good point, yeah.
197
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,000
Mick Hucknall!
198
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,000
Don't be ridiculous,
Robin!
199
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000
Mick Hucknall has dreadlocks.
200
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,000
Oh, Vicar,
you made it!
201
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000
Just go through here
and make yourself warm
202
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,000
Ah, thank you.
203
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,000
-That took a while.
-Yeah, he wanted to do
204
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,000
Alison!
205
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,000
May I have your ear,
please?
206
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,000
Ah! Vicar's arrived.
Good work, Michael.
207
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,000
-They're here!
208
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,000
Sorry, Mary,
not right now.
209
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000
Ah, here we go.
210
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,000
A double wedding!
Oh, my goshness!
211
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,000
No, that's the other bride.
212
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,000
For the same groom?
213
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,000
Bigamy?
214
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,000
No, they're marrying
each other.
215
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,000
What on earth?
216
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,000
Two brides! Wonderful!
217
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,000
Is this one gartered?
218
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:37,000
Oi-oi-bridesmaids. Tick.
Let the wedding commence.
219
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,000
Isn't that against the law?
220
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,000
No. Times have changed.
221
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,000
The house will be brought
into disrepute.
222
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000
It's a scandal!
223
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,000
-Those are the bridesmaids?
-THOMAS: Of course.
224
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,000
But they're wearing burgundy,
just like me.
225
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,000
Wonderful choice.
226
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,000
A darker shade,
as if to frame
227
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:59,000
of the beautiful bride,
without upstaging her.
228
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,000
Does this mean
I'm a bridesmaid?
229
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,000
Can I be a bridesmaid?
Please, please, please!
230
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,000
Yes, yes, fine, yeah.
231
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,000
Hi! Come in, come in.
232
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,000
MAN: Oh, what a journey!
ALISON: Oh, you made it!
233
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,000
Okay, so we've set everything
out in the ballroom.
234
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000
Oh, thank you so much
for doing this for us.
235
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000
Honestly, I don't know
what we would have done
236
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000
No, it's our pleasure.
It's all part of
237
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,000
brand, #ButtonHouse.
238
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,000
Available for bookings.
Tell your friends.
239
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000
Oh, where is this garter, then?
240
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,000
Er, come through.
241
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,000
KITTY:
Here comes the bridesmaid
242
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:39,000
-Lovely place, isn't it?
-Yeah, er, yes.
243
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,000
I've been here before,
actually.
244
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,000
-Oh?
-A long time ago now.
245
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,000
Well, what a coincidence.
246
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000
-Mmm.
-So, I don't know
247
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000
if you've met the couple
that own it, but it's...
248
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,000
-No.
-...it's quite a story.
249
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,000
I've been
here before, actually.
250
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,000
JULIAN: Like the beak
of a goose, you see?
251
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,000
Oh, it's
a lovely old tradition,
252
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,000
especially with
the bridesmaids.
253
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000
Pinch on the bum,
no harm done.
254
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,000
These are gentlewomen, sir,
not Whitechapel strumpets!
255
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,000
You're fun.
256
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,000
-It looks good.
-It's happening.
257
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,000
I know, I think it's good.
258
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,000
I can't believe we're actually
going to make this happen.
259
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,000
Er, you haven't seen Clare,
have you?
260
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,000
Oh, she hasn't run away,
has she?
261
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,000
Actually, I hope
she hasn't run away.
262
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,000
Oh, she's probably
just popped to the loo, or...
263
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,000
-I'll go and look for her.
Yeah.
264
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,000
Just, just tell everyone
that we're going to start soon.
265
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,000
Erm, just keep them
entertained.
266
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,000
-What shall I say?
-I don't know.
267
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,000
Whatever. I won't be long.
268
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,000
-Alison, what's happening?
-We've just lost
269
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,000
What?
270
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,000
What?
271
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000
Right, pay attention,
everyone!
272
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,000
We have a missing bride.
273
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,000
We need to search the house.
274
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,000
Thomas, Mary, East Wing.
Robin, Julian, West Wing.
275
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000
Pat, you're with me.
Come along.
276
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,000
-Well, come on, man!
-Yeah, yeah, I heard you
277
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,000
Hi.
278
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:58,000
Er, we're going to start soon,
but I just want to say
279
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,000
to welcome you all
to Button House.
280
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000
Er, well done
for getting here
281
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,000
Many didn't make it.
282
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000
Not that they died,
they just got stuck,
283
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000
although the wedding planner
had quite a serious...
284
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,000
Nah. Nothing.
285
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,000
Anyway, the best ones
are here, right?
286
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,000
Right?
287
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,000
Oh, here she be!
288
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,000
She sits herein.
289
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,000
Alison! Alison!
We have eyes on the target.
290
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,000
-The eagle is in the nest.
-What?
291
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,000
-She's in the toilet.
-Oh!
292
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000
-Clare?
293
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000
It's Alison.
Is everything okay?
294
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,000
I'm just going to the loo,
I'll be out in a minute.
295
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:45,000
She sits upon the stall
but her trousers is not down.
296
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,000
Okay.
297
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,000
She seems lost in thought,
298
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:53,000
at sea, in a tumultuous storm
of emotion.
299
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,000
Are you...
are you sure you're okay?
300
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,000
Yeah.
301
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,000
Anything you want to
talk about?
302
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,000
I'm scared
I'm making a mistake.
303
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,000
Well, she is.
Monopoly is a trap.
304
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,000
-Monogamy.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
305
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,000
So, erm...
306
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000
-Vicar?
-Mmm?
307
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,000
You've done
hundreds of weddings.
308
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,000
Oh, not really.
309
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,000
Really? No stories?
310
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,000
No, nothing very...
311
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,000
Being modest. Er...
312
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,000
You have to help me.
313
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000
Er... Alison's gone
to find Clare
314
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,000
and I don't know
what's going on.
315
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000
Right. I just don't...
316
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000
Make something up?
Hmm, yeah?
317
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,000
Woo!
318
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:47,000
Erm, hello. Erm...
319
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,000
I, er...
I remember one wedding.
320
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,000
Goodness me,
it must be, erm,
321
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,000
when, erm,
322
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,000
during the vows,
323
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000
all of a sudden,
the doors flew open,
324
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,000
and a dog ran into
the church.
325
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,000
Barking.
326
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000
Barking away, he was.
327
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,000
Woof, woof, woof.
328
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,000
But, er,
that was just the start.
329
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,000
Oh.
330
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,000
-Hmm.
-HUMPHREY: What's going on?
331
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000
Has the party started
already?
332
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000
-I thought I could hear voices.
-No.
333
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000
-It's the ceremony.
-Here?
334
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,000
-Mmm.
-Woo!
335
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,000
Could you take me down there?
I'd love to see it.
336
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,000
Oh, I don't think you do.
337
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,000
It's scandalous.
338
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,000
It's unbecoming
of this fine house
339
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,000
I think I'll probably make
my own mind up,
340
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,000
if you could just
take me down...
341
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,000
Oh, I'm quite sure
you'll agree with me.
342
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,000
Honestly, I don't know
what the world has come to.
343
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,000
Is there no decency
any more?
344
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000
No sense
of traditional values?
345
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,000
Oh, this is happening.
346
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,000
-When I was a girl...
-Yep.
347
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,000
-...we were taught
at a very young age...
348
00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,000
...exactly what was expected,
what was proper!
349
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000
-I'm being stupid.
-Yep.
350
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,000
-Don't say that.
-Well...
351
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000
It's not that
I don't love her.
352
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,000
It's not that
we aren't happy, it...
353
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000
It just suddenly
feels terrifying.
354
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,000
Oh, get over it
and get on with it!
355
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,000
You're lucky to be alive!
356
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,000
Honestly, people don't know
they're born.
357
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:23,000
It's completely natural
for you to get cold feet today.
358
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,000
ROBIN: Yeah, it's snowing.
359
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,000
It's a metaphor, Robin!
360
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,000
You're a metaphor.
361
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000
Don't tell anyone this, but...
362
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,000
I had a wobble
on my wedding day.
363
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:38,000
I kept thinking,
"Is he the one?"
364
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000
"I'm still young,
do I really want to commit
365
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,000
"for the rest of my life,"
you know?
366
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,000
"Is it naive to think that
I won't fall in love again?
367
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:50,000
"And all the little habits
and the things that annoy me,
368
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,000
"can I really live with them
every day?"
369
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,000
-You're absolutely right.
-Oh, my God!
370
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000
-He's wrong for you.
-Can you...
371
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,000
But then I tried to
imagine living without him.
372
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,000
And I couldn't.
373
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,000
Because he's the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
374
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,000
We're a team.
375
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,000
And we love each other.
376
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000
Nah, I preferred
the first bit.
377
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000
VICAR: He had a nut...
a nut allergy,
378
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,000
yes, because Janet had
already given some
379
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000
Oh, Michael's here, girls!
380
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,000
Mike, is everything okay?
Are we starting?
381
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:30,000
Alison's just talking to Clare
in the bathroom.
382
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000
Oh!
383
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,000
-What about?
-Apparently she got cold feet
384
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,000
on our wedding day
and she wasn't sure
385
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000
because of all my bad habits.
386
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,000
Why is she talking
about cold feet?
387
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,000
What's going on?
388
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,000
So, you know, only you
can make that decision.
389
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,000
Can you imagine life
without her?
390
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,000
It's working.
She's looking at pictures
391
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,000
Ooh, holiday snaps.
No, no, scroll back.
392
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,000
ALISON: Clare?
So, what do you think?
393
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,000
Do you want to do this?
394
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000
I do.
395
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:16,000
It became clear
that the dog was, er,
396
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,000
It was pointing,
you know, with its...
397
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,000
so we, er, all got up
398
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,000
out of our seats
and followed the creature.
399
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:29,000
I fears for the marriage,
Alison. Much is not done.
400
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,000
The bride be not gartered.
401
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,000
And where are the bachelors
to carry her to bed?
402
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,000
And someone must
break cake over her head.
403
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,000
Erm, I'm just going to
catch you...
404
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,000
-I'll catch you up.
-Sure.
405
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,000
-Okay.
-Yeah. Mmm.
406
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000
What are you talking about,
Mary?
407
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,000
The cake what's not broke
upon my head
408
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000
so my husband did die.
409
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000
Crushed beneath his plough
410
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,000
like a grape
beneath the foot.
411
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,000
Oh, my God!
412
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,000
Your husband died
on your wedding day?
413
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000
No, three years aft.
414
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,000
-Right.
-The couple must observe
415
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000
the rituals for
a blessed marriage!
416
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,000
Okay. There's a lot
to unpack here.
417
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,000
So you're saying
that your husband died
418
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000
because of something
that you didn't do
419
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,000
on your wedding day
three years earlier?
420
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,000
Exactly!
421
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,000
Okay.
422
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,000
VICAR: We... We...
We'd gathered round the well...
423
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:20,000
and, er, we...
we thought we could hear...
424
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,000
a baby crying.
425
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:29,000
Well, nobody had a ladder,
so we were going to have
426
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,000
But, erm, there was...
427
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000
What do you mean
she's not here?
428
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,000
-She went off with her mum.
-Why?
429
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000
She's so upset!
430
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,000
She found out that
her bride might be having
431
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000
You told her?
432
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,000
Oh, my God, Mike.
I had it all under control.
433
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,000
All you had to do
was just keep them waiting.
434
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Well, I'm sorry
I always disappoint you.
435
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,000
Well, sorry's not
good enough, is it?
436
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
That's such
an insensitive thing to do.
437
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000
-Is the wedding off?
-No!
438
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,000
Alison, we need a plan.
439
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,000
The guests
are getting restless.
440
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,000
PAT: Oh, who cares
about the guests?
441
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,000
To hell with the guests!
442
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,000
What's it got to do
with us, eh?
443
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,000
We're dead,
in case you hadn't noticed.
444
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:03,000
We can't do
a bloody thing!
445
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000
I'm going to talk to Sam
446
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000
and then you just make sure
that Clare's still here
447
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,000
...if we get back.
448
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,000
All this over
a silly piece of paper.
449
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,000
I just wanted to be
a bridesmaid!
450
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:22,000
You all saw that, didn't you?
She tires of him.
451
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,000
Finally, she sees the light!
452
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,000
Yes!
453
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,000
PAT: Where do you think
you're going?
454
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:34,000
And before you know it,
there's chaos on the streets,
455
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:38,000
everyone doing whatever
they feel like:
456
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,000
anarchy,
which is precisely why
457
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,000
I won't go near this...
spectacle.
458
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,000
You finished?
459
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000
Yes.
460
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,000
Wow.
461
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,000
Breathe, love.
462
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:01,000
-What did she say?
-Nothing. Honestly, nothing.
463
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,000
She loves you
and she wants to marry you.
464
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,000
This is all
a big misunderstanding.
465
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,000
Mike heard you say to Clare
that you had cold feet
466
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,000
Yes. Yes. He did.
467
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,000
But... But that's me.
468
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,000
Not Clare.
469
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,000
But why would you talk
to Clare about it
470
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000
unless that's how
she were feeling?
471
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,000
Tell me honestly...
472
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000
Was Clare having doubts?
473
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,000
Yes. But...
474
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,000
Well, I had
a flathead screwdriver,
475
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,000
but that was no good
because it was a,
476
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,000
Mike, is everything okay?
477
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,000
Mike?
478
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,000
Is everything okay?
479
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,000
I heard Alison telling you
she wasn't sure
480
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,000
if she wanted to marry me
481
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000
and if she'd meet
someone better
482
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,000
-and if I was the one.
-Erm...
483
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000
I meant with the wedding?
484
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,000
Yes.
485
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:02,000
She had an artificial limb
that had come loose and also...
486
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,000
PAT: You bastard!
487
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,000
-Patrick?
-Come here, you scally!
488
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,000
You reprobate!
489
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,000
Those drinks
were for later! Urgh!
490
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000
Leave it, Pat.
491
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000
-Argh!
-Oh!
492
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,000
BOTH: Ah!
493
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Stand down, fellows.
Stand down!
494
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000
-
495
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,000
I'll knock your block off
when it's back on!
496
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000
Stop!
497
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000
It's Kieth Darren Dean.
498
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,000
-Who?
-Hmm?
499
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,000
Safety rule number one
is no...
500
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,000
ALL: Oh!
501
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,000
PAT: The arrow's
gone through, that.
502
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000
We might need
one of you to drive.
503
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,000
Don't look at me, kids.
Make a path.
504
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,000
You don't want to see this
in your dreams.
505
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,000
-Oh.
-
506
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,000
-Tenner says he stays.
-You're on.
507
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,000
HUMPHREY: I'll tell you
about my marriage.
508
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,000
My marriage was arranged.
509
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:50,000
I was 14, she was 12.
Noble families, both.
510
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,000
Model couple, really,
for the time.
511
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,000
We had the title
and the big house
512
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,000
and the lands, riches.
513
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,000
Didn't love each other.
514
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,000
She didn't even like me.
515
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,000
Didn't laugh at my jokes.
516
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,000
Didn't really understand
each other.
517
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,000
She was French, so...
518
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,000
Might have been nice
if we could have chosen
519
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,000
Mike, something's going on,
isn't it?
520
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000
I may have told Sam
521
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,000
you were having
a bit of a wobble.
522
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000
I heard Alison saying
that stuff about me
523
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,000
and I was really hurt
and I wasn't really thinking.
524
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
I'm sure Sam will
come around, like you did.
525
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,000
And then she opened the door
and she said, "Thank you."
526
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,000
-And that's it?
-That's it.
527
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,000
She loves you.
528
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,000
She was just scared.
529
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,000
You know she also said
she couldn't imagine
530
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,000
-Did she?
-She said
531
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,000
you're the best thing
that's ever happened to her.
532
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,000
Ah.
533
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,000
BOTH: I need to talk to her.
534
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,000
I need to see her,
535
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,000
and to hell with tradition.
536
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,000
-I love you.
-SAM: Let's get married.
537
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000
Hello, Skip.
538
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,000
Hello, Kieth.
539
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000
I just want you to know
I do think about you.
540
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,000
I think about you too.
541
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,000
About that day.
542
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,000
I'm sorry, Skip.
543
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,000
I forgive you.
544
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,000
I should never have given
an eight-year-old
545
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,000
I suppose if there's one thing
I could say to you, Kieth,
546
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,000
it would be... Ugh!
547
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,000
Of course.
548
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,000
I'm okay!
549
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,000
Sorry.
550
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,000
Sorry.
551
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,000
Mission accomplished.
552
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,000
-There.
-Thank you. That's...
553
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,000
What? Oh! All right, then.
554
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,000
-CAPTAIN: Julian!
555
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,000
Please be seated.
556
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,000
You've changed your tune.
557
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,000
Well, times change,
don't they?
558
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,000
We should know.
559
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:29,000
After all,
if George had been free
560
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,000
well, I wouldn't have
been murdered.
561
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:36,000
And I could have had
a husband instead
562
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,000
And when I say know,
I mean he would give me...
563
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,000
-...a really good...
564
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,000
Waza!
565
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,000
Incredible story.
What happened to the baby?
566
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,000
Oh! Well...
567
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,000
-ALL: Ahhh!
-I've got it.
568
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,000
Double half hitch.
569
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,000
Well done, Kieth.
570
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,000
Well done.
571
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,000
Who do that?
572
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,000
Three, two, one, go!
573
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,000
Good for you, Debbie.
574
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,000
Now's your chance.
575
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,000
Mary, I can't just
throw cake at the bride.
576
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,000
But looks!
577
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,000
Okay.
578
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,000
Now she will not die.
579
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:15,000
Okay, sometimes it work...
580
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,000
-mon-og-amy.
-Oh!
581
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,000
Very good, Robin.
582
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,000
Monogamy. Monogamy!
583
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,000
Monogamy!
584
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,000
That's enough.
Thank you, Robin.
585
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000
I think I want another fight.
586
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,000
Could that be a club?
38680
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