Original subtitles

We interrupt this program to bring you...

Courage the Cowardly Dog Show.

Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog.

Abandoned as a pup, he was found by Muriel,

who lives in the middle of Nowhere

with her husband, Eustace Bagge.

But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

It's up to Courage to save his new home.

Stupid dog.

You made me look bad.

- Ooga Boogga Boogga! - Aahhh!

MURIEL: Ohhh... that's it!

Eustace, I want a new mattress,

and that's the end of the matter!

"Mattress... special."

oh!

Oh, a mattress special?

"With our mattress, we'll change your life...

forever."

Oh, so exciting.

[beeping]

[ringing]

MAN: Are you ready to change your life forever?

Oh, yes. I want to change my life forever.

This sounds too good to be true.

MAN: We have a special

on our deluxe life-changing mattress.

It's soft.

COURAGE: Uh!

MURIEL: Oh, soft.

It's smooth.

Smooth.

No lumps.

Oh, no. I don't like lumps.

We've got lumps.

We'll send it right over.

My address is--

We know! We've been waiting for you.

Oh!

No, no, no! Don't do it! This do not do!

I've always wanted a new mattress.

[door creaks open]

[whip cracks]

[whinnying]

[horse whinnying]

[whining]

This can't be happening!

[whinnies]

Ooooh!

Gm'!

[hiss]

Eeek!

I've a bad feeling about this

or my name is Nana... and it's not.

[whining]

Doesn't it look lovely?

COURAGE: Eek!

[hiss]

Aah!

[snoring]

I just can't wait to see this.

Uh!

MURIEL: Ooh, hee hee!

[hiss]

Oh, Courage, stop it!

I'm going to have a lovely little nap now.

I'll see you soon.

[Courage panting]

Ugh! Ugh!

Ooh!

[growling]

Eek!

Eek!

Oh!

[crash]

[snoring]

[door slams]

Oh, wake me up, will you?!

I'll fix you!

[gibberish]

[hiss]

Get away from me!

[deep voice] Won't you join me?

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Oh!

BOTH: Aah!

Oh, can one of you boys give me a hand?

BOTH: Aah!

[animal howling]

[crickets chirping]

[chiming]

Dang mattress gave her nightmares!

[low growling]

Well, we--we can't sit here all night.

What do you mean--we?

[low growling]

She likes you. Go see how she is.

I may be man's best friend, but really!

Get up there!

[low growling]

[low growling]

[deep snoring]

Oh!

[deep voice] Courage!

Closer.

Closer.

It would be lovely

if I could have a cup...of...

tea!

Aah!

What have you done with Muriel?

She's here with us.

MURIEL: Courage, help me!

[deep voice] Whoops. Ha ha ha!

That one slipped out.

You won't get away with this!

Oh, yeah? What are you going to do about it?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Crack]

[Crack]

[deep voice] Watch my thumb.

Oh! That was close.

Ahh, nice move, little doggie.

Huh! Slip away, will you?

1, 2, 3! Got you!

You lose!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Hang on, Muriel. Help is on the way!

COMPUTER: Exorcist.

Exactly. An exorcist!

Instructions for your basic exorcism...

oh, �W-

Just give me the instructions.

"To perform an exorcism...

put on a flowing garment."

Huh?

"Incantation to exorcise demon."

What?

"Hullaballoo and howdy doo.

Musty prawns and timbuktu."

"Yeltzy bye and hippity poo.

Kick 'em in the dishpan, hoo hoo hoo."

Kick 'em in the dishpan, hoo hoo hoo?

G rrrr!

Get that demon! Get that demon!

Hullaballoo and howdy doo.

Eh...

musty prawns and Tim-Timbuktu.

[deep voice] Ha ha ha ha!

Call that an incantation?

Ha ha ha ha!

Hullaballoo and howdy doo.

Speak up.

Won't hear you in the balcony.

Ha ha ha ha!

Arrgh! Musty prawns and Timbuktu!

Yeltzy bye and hippity poo.

Face it, sonny.

You're a failure!

Ha ha ha ha!

Yay, farmer.

Come on! Give me a break!

I can do it!

Want a tip?

Yeah, sure.

[loud gurgling]

Aah!

[Courage panting]

Yes!

Ha!

Rabba loo rowdy roo.

Rarara riparoo roo roo!

Rary ruff rippity roo.

Rick 'em in the ristpan, roo roo roo!

[whines]

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh!

Hullaballoo and howdy doo!

Musty prawns and tim-- oh!

Uh! Uh!

Gm'!

Eek!

EUSTACE: Heh heh heh!

Ha ha ha ha!

Aah!

Hee hee heh heh!

Ohh!

Gm'!

[gibberish]

Uh!

[whines]

Uh!

Hey!

Uh!

[beeping]

We're not satisfied at all!

Take your special mattress back!

[whip cracks]

[horse whinnies]

[hiss]

Now, isn't this cozy?

Now, this is a bed I can sleep in any day.

[low growling]

MAN: Hello, new friend. My name is Fred.

The words you hear are in my head.

I say, I said, my name is Fred,

and I've been very naughty.

I can't wait for that wee lad Fred to arrive.

That freak's not setting one freaky foot in this house!

FRED: The story I'm about to tell,

I tell you, I will tell it well,

is of my dear aunt Muriel

and just how I've been...naughty.

The freak's a barber, a freaky barber

with his own freaky barber shop

where freaky things happen--

Freaky barber things!

FRED: Voila, the farm.

My aunt lives here

with precious pup and husband dear.

My heart beat fast as I grew near.

I felt so nice... and naughty.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, that must be Fred!

[ding dong]

[gulp]

Ooh!

[ding dong]

FRED: I thought just how excited they must be

that I would come today.

They'd shout, "come, Fred, hazzah hooray!

Dear boy, you look so... naughty."

oh, Fred, me dear nephew.

What brings you to our cozy corner of the world?

Holiday.

Courage, come and meet Fred.

Oooh!

FRED, VOICEOVER: That's when my tired eyes beheld a doggie dog.

Like dog he smelled.

D-o-g is what he spelled,

and that's how I spell... naughty.

Eeeeee.

EUSTACE: Got to go to the hardware store

and get the, you know...

fix the bathroom door.

Just don't try shutting it

because you won't be able to get it open.

Eustace, our guest is here.

Say hello to Fred.

Yeah.

Ooohhh.

Hiya...

freak.

[panting]

Courage, shush now.

You must be exhausted, Fred, dear.

Would you like to freshen up?

Yes. Been quite a trip, it has.

Show Fred the bathroom, please, Courage.

No!

Such a fuss. This rudeness won't do.

Ok. I'll do it, but I won't like it.

Ok, I'm going...

freak.

Eustace, dear...

could you do me a favor?

I forgot to give Fred fresh towels.

Would you bring him some?

Ew.

You give them to the freak.

No!

Whoops!

COURAGE: Oooh!

Heh heh heh heh!

I heard the door slam.

The door slammed.

Oh.

Ugh! Ugh!

Well, I guess I better git.

Now, don't you boys worry.

Eustace will be back soon to get the door open.

Ooh!

FRED, VOICE-OVER: Alone was I with tender Courage

and all his fur, his furry footage,

which, I say, did enCourage me to be...

quite naughty.

Courage.

Aaoooh!

Your hair...

it reminds me of the first time

I knew just how I felt about hair.

VOICE-OVER: It was a day I do not forget--

the day that I first met my pet.

Oh, what a lovely gift to get.

I'd never felt so...naughty.

My fuzzy friend is what he was,

this darling little ball of fuzz.

[clanking]

[razor buzzing]

And oh, such fuzz, such fuzz, he does demand

that I be naughty.

He looked at me, his fetching eyes,

and fetching fur did hypnotize.

I filled with joy, I filled with sighs,

and that's when I got... naughty.

[Courage gasping]

Now, now.

You shouldn't play in the toilet.

Don't worry, boys.

Eustace should be at the hardware store by now.

[bird squawking]

FRED, VOICE-OVER: This dripping hair, this droopy curl...

unfurls sweet memories of a girl

with tresses, oh, they twist and twirl

and tempt me to be...naughty.

Barbara my love was named

and her fair hair, a mane untamed,

until one evening, I'm ashamed,

I got a little...

naughty-

[razor buzzing]

The look upon my young love's face

was sweet and lace,

but in this place, I realized she...

[turns off razor]

Needed space.

I nevermore was naughty.

Well, maybe not never.

COURAGE: Ooh!

Playful little scamp.

Eeeeeuuuuh!

Is everything all right in there?

[Courage howls]

Just can't wait for those pancakes, can you?

[Courage howls]

Wonderful! Eustace should be back any moment now.

Aaaah!

[sea gulls crying]

No need for panic.

Behold. Sustenance, hungry whelp.

[gulp]

[beeping]

[Courage gagging]

FRED, VOICE-OVER: Dear cur, your fur and fleece remind

of nothing found in humankind

but for one fellow who did find me

to be in a certain mood.

Into my shop he walked one day

with bouche above and beard bouquet.

That's no toupee, I prayed.

No way!

I could help but be... you know.

MAN: Just a trim, pardner.

FRED, VOICE-OVER: I'd never seen such hair before.

[buzzing]

His bangs, they sang, his neck, it beckoned.

Eyebrows, armpits-- all were reckoned.

Soon I figured "what the heck"

and guess how I was... naughty.

COURAGE: Ooh!

[music playing on television]

COURAGE: Aah!

[gibberish]

[snoring]

[razor buzzing]

Aaoooh!

Sweet pooch, afraid I'll shave your tail?

Why, now, that would be weird.

[sirens]

[brakes screech]

MAN: Surround the area!

Cut the power!

We don't want anyone getting shaved in there!

So ends our little story.

What took them so long?

FRED, VOICE-OVER: But then my landlords did presume

to free me from that porcelain tomb

and ferry to a private room, your hero, ever dotty.

What a lovely visit.

Too bad Eustace didn't get to say good-bye.

FRED: Good-bye, dear aunt.

I'll miss your farm and Eustace's ebullient charm.

And farewell, Courage, what's the harm

if I was slightly... naughty?

EUSTACE: Stupid dog!

Hee hee hee!

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