Original subtitles

♪ Look at the stars ♪

♪ Look how they shine for you ♪

♪ And everything you do ♪

♪ Yeah, they were all yellow ♪

♪ I came along ♪

- ♪ I wrote a song for you ♪ - Hey, love bug. You ready?

Yeah.

- Hey, guess what, Mom. - What?

- I figured out where wasps come from. - Oh, yeah? Where?

Well, I think it must be

if you flick a rock into the air just right, it'll turn into a wasp.

- Dang! - Yep.

That's cool.

So, how was your day at school?

Fine.

Yeah, I had a good meeting with Miss Butler this time. I kinda liked her.

What did she say?

Well, she said that you weren't turning in your homework assignments.

And I told her, "I know he does them 'cause I check 'em every night."

She said she found a big chunk of 'em crumpled up at the bottom of your backpack.

She didn't ask for 'em.

Well, baby, she doesn't have to. You're just supposed to turn 'em in.

And she said you're still staring out the window all day.

Not all day.

And she said that you destroyed her pencil sharpener.

Not on purpose.

Wait, she said that you crammed a bunch of rocks in it.

I thought if it can sharpen pencils, maybe it could sharpen rocks.

Well, what were you gonna do with a bunch of sharpened rocks?

I was trying to make arrowheads for my rock collection.

Hmm.

- Dude, it's my turn! - Hold on.

Mason!

Samantha!

Oh! Tommy. Is Mason down there?

Yeah.

Well, tell him he has to come home for dinner.

Okay.

Where do you think you're going?

Wait. Come back here.

- Hey. - Hey, sweetie.

Why aren't you ready?

- Hey, Mason. - Hey, Ted.

- Come on, come on. Hurry up. Let's go. - What time is it?

It's 9:00. Let's go, let's go.

Okay, I meant to call you 'cause Janice flaked out. I don't have a sitter.

Why didn't you call somebody else?

Well, I can't get a babysitter now. It's 9:00.

But you're welcome to hang out with us.

Well, no. I mean, we have plans. The guys are expecting me.

- Well, you can go. - All right.

Yeah, well, I'll come back in a couple of hours.

Is that okay?

- Yeah. Yes. It's okay. - All right.

"Turn back! Turn back!

I don't wanna talk to Moaning Myrtle.

'Who?' said Harry as they backtracked quickly.

'She haunts one of the toilets in the girls bathroom on the first floor,' said Hermione.

'She haunts a toilet?'

'Yes, it's been out of order all year

because she keeps having tantrums and flooding the place.

I never went in there anyway if I could avoid it.

It's awful trying to have a pee with her wailing at you.'"

Why can't you just say that?

- I'm sorry. I don't want to go with you. - You're sorry. That's bullshit!

That's right. I wanna stay here with my kids. That's what I'd rather do.

Would you stop using your kids as an excuse!

I'm not using my kids as an excuse!

You don't even know ‒ You're acting ‒

You have this immature life. You have no responsibilities.

- I have an immature life? - I have responsibilities.

- You don't know what it's like to be a parent. - No, I don't!

- And why am I responsible for your mistakes in life? - If you had any idea ‒

Don't call my kids mistakes! Don't!

I didn't call your kids ‒

You said, "You're respons ‒ your mistakes in your life," pointing at my kids.

- Immediately you use your kids again. - This is the reality ‒

- I am a parent! That means responsibility. - I know you're a parent.

I would love to have some time to myself!

I would love to just go to a fuckin' movie!

You don't think I'd like that? Go have some dinner, go to a bar?

I don't even know what that's like.

I was someone's daughter, then I was somebody's fucking mother!

Okay? I don't know what that's like.

♪ Oops, I did it again ♪

♪ I played with your heart, got lost in the game ♪

♪ Oh, baby, baby Oops, you think I'm in love ♪

♪ I was sent from above ♪

- ♪ I'm not that innocent ♪ - Stop!

- Quit it! - ♪ You see, my problem is this ♪

♪ I'm dreaming away, wishing that heroes truly exist ♪

Quit it!

♪ I cry, watching the days ♪

♪ See, I'm a fool in so many ways ♪

Mom!

- ♪ But to lose all my senses ♪ - What the hell is going on in here?

- Do you guys know what time it is? - He's throwing things at me.

Mason. Do not throw things at your sister.

She's faking. She hit me first.

Listen, both of you. I'm going back to bed.

I don't wanna hear another peep out of here for an hour.

Go to sleep.

- Faker! - Hey!

Oh!

Look at that. Found it in the street.

- Dude! - Dude!

I know, right?

Look at those.

Ooh. Look at those!

Oh!

So listen, guys, I wanna talk to you about something.

You might not like this idea at first, but we're moving to Houston.

- When? - Well, soon.

We should be out by the first so we don't have to pay two rents next month.

No, Mother, we're not moving. Nope. Nope. Sorry, Mom.

Nope. Nope.

Samantha, I have to go back to college so I can make us a better living.

With this job, I can't take care of us the way I'd like to.

I can't keep going this way.

And Grandma said she'd help us out.

And it would be nice to be near her.

Fine, Mother. You can do whatever you want, but we're not moving.

What about our friends?

Baby, we can e-mail them or write.

We can come back to visit.

And guess what.

This place that Grandma found us, you'll each have your own room.

Right?

And there's a pool.

Mom, do you still love Dad?

I still love your father,

but that doesn't mean it was healthy for us to stay together.

What if after we move, he's trying to find us and he can't?

Oh, that won't be a problem.

He can call Grandma, and she'll tell him

or he can call Information.

We won't be hard to find.

Is he still in Alaska?

Well, that's what your uncle says.

Probably taming polar bears or something.

Yeah. Well, I hope they're taming him.

Here. Wanna help me out?

- Sure. - Okay.

Take this paint very carefully

and paint any little smudge or mark or anything on the baseboard there,

behind the door and all around the doorways on the inside.

She says we're gonna come visit,

and I'm gonna write and call you.

Oh, wait. Hold on a second. I'm getting another call.

Hello?

Sorry, Tommy. Mason can't come over today. We're moving.

And I'm on the other line. Bye.

Althea?

I'm gonna be sending the scout instructions.

E-mail and write back telling me how the other scouts are doing.

Well, because you're the leader now.

Okay, let's go, 'cause I wanna get there before it gets dark.

Good-bye, yard. Good-bye, crepe myrtle. Good-bye, mailbox.

Good-bye, box of stuff Mommy won't let us take with us but we don't wanna throw away.

Good-bye, house. I'll never like Mommy as much for making us move.

Samantha!

Why don't you say good-bye to that little horseshit attitude, okay?

'Cause we're not taking that in the car.

Good-bye, old lady who listens to rock music and rides a motorcycle.

♪ My friend, the communist ♪

♪ Holds meetings in his RV♪

♪ I can't afford his gas ♪

♪ So I'm stuck here watching TV♪

♪ I don't have digital ♪

Hey! Hey, what's happening back there?

Stop. Put the barrier up. Hey!

Hey! Put the pillow between you. Make a barrier.

Come on. Stop.

We're gonna play a game called The Game of Silence.

Whoever can stay quiet for the longest period of time wins.

You guys think you can do that?

Okay, go.

♪ Gonna tell 'em that ♪

♪ I've got no one to blame ♪

♪ For every time I feel lame ♪

♪ I'm looking up ♪

♪ I'm looking up ♪

♪ I'm ‒♪♪

The bus'll be here in 10 minutes.

Put that homework in your backpack.

Go eat.

- Baby, go eat. - I am!

Speak English!

Shut up. Mom!

She's speaking that stupid language again!

Samantha!

I was speaking perfectly clear English, Mother.

You know, he's a little slow in the head.

- He did officially flunk first grade. - Sit your butt down.

Yes, sir, Mother, sir.

All right, listen up, guys. Grandma's gonna pick you up after school.

Your dad's in town for the day, so you're gonna spend the afternoon with him.

Is he moving back?

I don't know.

We haven't seen him in about 80 years.

Like, a year and a half.

Ha-ha!

- Oh, please. - Can we please eat here?

The bus is coming. Who wants syrup?

All right. Nice cursive.

Okay, Mason, when I check the mobiles, am I gonna find yours?

- No. - And why not?

'Cause I didn't finish 'em.

- Well, it's time to finish it. - Just a minute.

No, let's do Apple Quit.

Time to finish your work, Mason. Apple Quit.

- So this is my history test. - Mm-hmm.

A-plus. Very good.

- And that's another history test. - Mm-hmm, and another "A."

Yeah, well, it doesn't have a "plus," but, oh, well.

And then, um, that's my report on lizards.

Oh. Let me see your pictures.

- Oh, yeah, these are my pictures. - What is that?

- Well, that's called a dewlap. - A dewlap, okay.

Oh, yeah, this is a math test.

Oh, "A" again. Mase, that's the last candy, okay?

Okay.

We need to put this stuff up.

That's him.

Daddy! Hi!

Hey! Oh! Look at you. You're so big!

Hey, M.J.! What's happening, buddy?

- You guys ready to have some fun? - Yeah!

Yeah! All right. Hey, Catherine, how are you?

- I'm good. - Good to see you.

What time should I have these rascals back?

Oh, I don't know. Around 7:30, I guess.

I gotta get 'em home by 8:00.

Why don't I take 'em over to their mom's?

No, that's okay. She's expecting me.

Ah, that's all right. You guys know where it is, don't you?

All right, I'll do it. It's no problem.

- I don't think that's such a good idea. - Look, it's no problem.

You guys ready to go? Let's do it!

Go? Wait a minute. You gotta get your stuff.

- Oh, right. - Your backpack, your purse.

Homework. Go to the bathroom.

I can't believe how big they are.

Yeah. Time's going by.

Yeah. It must be nice for you, having them here in Houston.

I love it, yeah. I'm volunteering at their school.

Yeah? What you doing over there?

I'm in the library, reading to the little ones.

Ah, great.

So, Alaska, huh?

Yeah.

- Are you back? - We'll see.

- How's Liv? - She's a busy girl.

Yeah. She's back in school.

But she's working, and single parenting ‒

a lot to juggle.

- You guys got everything, huh? - Yeah.

- Say good-bye to your grandmother. - Bye, Grandma!

All right. Let's roll! Now, wait a second.

You're not the type of kids who like presents, are you?

- Yes! - Nah!

- Of course we are! - Presents? Really? Let's go!

Yay!

- I call front seat! - I wanted the front seat though.

All right. Mason gets it on the way there,

and Samantha gets it on the way back, huh?

- Hop in there. - Seat belts!

Seat belts. All right. Don't forget your seat belts.

Not like this car has any seat belts, but ‒

Nice. Nice!

Nice!

Yeah! All right! Come here! Come here!

Yes! Oh! That was awesome!

- Yay! - Get up there, Mason! Get up there!

That was so good. Come on.

Let 'em know who you are, buddy.

Let 'em know who you are. Mwah!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

All right. All right. Don't worry about it.

Wish I could use the bumpers.

Bumpers are for kids. You know?

What are you, two years old? You don't want the bumpers.

Life doesn't give you bumpers.

There we ‒ There we go. There we go!

We got something there. We got something!

We got something! Oh!

Last time I went bowling, we had bumpers, and it was a lot more fun.

You don't want the bumpers, all right?

You bowl a strike with the bumpers, it doesn't mean anything.

Trust me.

Just lay it out on the lane.

One, two, three and ‒

Ka-blam!

Let's hear it for the father! Boom!

- Get up there. Get in there. - Great job!

Get out there!

Four Blackwater operatives have been viciously attacked

in their cars in Falluja.

The bodies and cars were set on fire

after insurgents started shooting ‒

Look at this. It's a disaster. Let me tell you what's happening in Iraq.

Exactly what every thinking person in the world knew was gonna happen

before they got started.

Bush and his little numb-nut fanatics he's got around him, they don't give a rat's ass.

That's a quarter.

- What's a quarter? - You said A-S-S.

Oh, sorry. My bad.

My teacher says it's a good war

because it's better to be safe than sorry.

That's what they're teaching you in school? All right. Listen to me.

Listen to your father, okay? That is the lie. That's the big lie.

Iraq had nothing to do with what happened at the World Trade Center.

- You know that, right? - I guess.

Who are you gonna vote for next fall, M.J.?

I don't know.

He can't vote. He's not 18.

All right. Who would you vote for?

- Kerry? - Anybody but Bush, okay?

Are you gonna move back?

Uh, I'm plannin' on it. I gotta find a job.

Are you and Mom gonna get back together?

I don't know. That's not entirely up to me, you know?

I remember when I was six,

you and Mom were fighting like mad.

You were yelling so loud, and she was crying.

- That's what you remember, huh? - Yep.

You don't remember the trips to Galveston,

camping in Big Bend, all the fun we had?

Nope.

- You ever get mad at your mother? - Yeah.

- You ever get mad at your brother? - Yeah.

- Yeah. You ever yell at him? - Oh, yeah.

Doesn't mean you don't love him, right?

Mm.

Look, the same thing happens when you're grown up, right?

You know, you get mad at people.

It's not a big deal.

What'd you do in Alaska?

I worked on a boat for a while.

Um, I tried to write some music.

- Did you see any polar bears? - No.

But I saw a Kodiak bear. It was fuckin' huge.

Dad! That's 50 cents for the F-word!

I'm sorry.

Here, take a dollar, all right?

Keep the change.

You guys are gonna be seein' a lot more of me. Okay?

I missed you two real bad while I was gone.

I want you to know that.

I just needed to take some time, you know, to ‒

Just ‒

Your mom and me, okay ‒

Well, your mother, okay, is a piece of work.

All right. I think you know that by now. All right?

I'm just ‒ I'm so happy to be with the two of you.

I'm sorry about that bumper business.

I'm gonna get better at stuff like that, okay?

I got that one at Dripping Springs.

- And, um, my friend Rodney gave me that one. - Yeah?

- And I bought that one. - You bought this one?

- Yeah. - You found this at Dripping Springs?

- Uh-huh. - Wow!

- What else do you got? - Well, um, these are snake vertebrae.

Snake vertebrae? That's disgusting.

Mason, I don't want you collecting snake vertebrae anymore.

- Is this the feather I sent you? - Yeah! Yeah, yeah, it is.

Oh, Dad, I forgot to show you these basketball pictures.

- You're on a basketball team? - Yeah.

- Wow! Check you out. - And these are ‒ these are beaver claws.

- Beaver claws? - That's me.

- What, you hunting beaver, huh? - No.

That's McKinney, that's Meg, and that's Gem.

- Dried Canadian grass. - What position do you play?

- Guard. - This is dried Canadian grass.

Wait, you scoring any points?

- About eight or 10 a game. - Eight or 10 a game?

- That is awesome! - Once she didn't score any, and she cried.

- You cried? - Well, only a little bit.

Aw.

- Hello! - Oh, Mason, Mom's home!

- Mom's home. - All right. Mom's home.

Hi! Look at this owl Daddy gave me.

Isn't it cool? See, its head spins!

And look at this bracelet. It was made by Indians in Alaska.

Daddy made this cool hand-carved grizzly bear and this tiki.

- It's a totem. - And guess what else.

We went bowling, and I made four strikes!

- Yeah, and we got to ride around in Dad's car. - Wow.

- Hey, Liv. - Hey.

I know you wanted me to drop them off at your mom's.

I just thought it'd be easier if I brought 'em over here.

Well, it really screwed up my plans.

- We just wanted to show him our rooms. - Yeah.

Did you guys eat anything?

Well, we had some french fries at the bowling alley.

- Did you do your homework or ‒ - Not yet.

Can I talk to you outside for a second?

Yeah. Sure.

They had more than french fries.

Hmm.

Do you think he's gonna spend the night?

Doesn't look like it.

Okay. An unconditioned stimulus,

something that produces an unlearned, involuntary,

unconditioned response.

Now, in Pavlov's experiment, what was the stimulus that he used?

Come on now, people. Tough weekend? What's the deal here?

Meat, right? Meat powder actually.

Whatever meat powder is, it worked on this dog, okay?

Put the meat powder in there, and it produced an unconditioned response in the dog

which was salivation, all right?

Now, who can give me another example

of an unconditioned stimulus response pair

that happens to you every day?

It's probably happening to some of you right now.

How about sex?

Sure, you know, you see an attractive member of the opposite gender,

you have an automatic response, you don't have to think about it.

Mick Jagger wrote a song about, "Oh, when they call your name,

I salivate like a Pavlov dog."

Thank you very much. Class dismissed.

Dr. Wellbrock.

- This is my son Mason. - Oh.

Mason, this is Dr. Wellbrock.

Your son. See, I thought this was a boy genius who was taking my college course.

He wasn't feeling well today, so I thought I'd bring him with me.

Ah! No fever. It's a con job.

I can tell because I have a nine-year-old son. He pulls this all the time.

Same kind of deal.

- Hey, you play soccer? - Mm, no.

Neither does my boy. He hates soccer. He likes computers.

My 11-year-old daughter loves soccer. Go figure.

- Maybe we can get all you guys together sometime. - Maybe, yeah.

- Well, you ready to go? - Yeah.

- Nice to meet you, Mason. - Nice to meet you too.

And thanks for coming to my class.

Olivia. Nice kid.

Thanks.

So you think Grandma might be available for a little babysitting?

Maybe.

- Really? - Yeah.

Well, great.

Dead man, dead man, wake up.

One, two, three, four, five, you're alive.

- My turn. - Hey, kids, they're here!

Oh, they're home! They're home!

Hurry, hurry!

- Mom! - Oh, they're here!

Hey, we've returned!

- Hi, Dad! - Samantha, Mason, look! Thank you.

That's very nice.

Hi, Mom. How are you?

Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom! Look at the sign we made!

Samantha and I made it all ourselves.

I know the boys helped you with that a lot.

No, not at all!

That's good. Look at this. Oh, pass out the goodies.

Don't worry. We got you some absinthe or something.

Oh, let's pour it.

You take this big elevator up, and when we got to the top we flew a paper airplane off.

- And what happened? - It flew.

It flew away. Went for miles. Went under the Arc de Triomphe.

Oh, did you guys kiss under the Bridge of Sighs?

- Yes. - Yes, we did.

- Hey, Mom, can we see your wedding ring? - Oh, sure.

Wow.

Technically, that's a fancy step cut surrounded by miniature brilliant.

- I wish we could've gone to Europe. - Yeah.

Yeah, we'll go as a family next time.

But you didn't miss much, really.

We just stayed in the hotel room the whole time playing video games.

- Really? - And the hotels are really small and really old.

- Squeaky. - Can I get you anything else?

Would you like to see a dessert menu?

I told you to put that away. Would you put that in your purse, please?

Computer games at the table.

Yes, uh, please, another bottle of wine.

- Um, Coke. - You know what?

Mason, you're okay with water.

No more Cokes, thank you.

How about you? Did you finish your science project?

Not quite yet.

Did you work on it? Did you build anything or plan anything or ‒

A little.

- Did he work on it at all, Mindy? - No.

Did he sit around playing video games with Mason the whole time?

Yeah.

Hmm.

You were supposed to finish that by the time I got back.

Remember?

Hey.

- Grievous is the best, man. - No, Yoda is.

Yoda, man. It's Yoda.

- He has four arms. - Yoda!

Represent!

I hate Miss Barnsley.

Everybody's been saying she's lesbian.

She is. She hit on Stacy.

- Man, that's gross. - Think it's true?

She's always walking in the locker room.

I think I still have a couple of those ‒

Hey, Paul. Tell us a joke.

Damn. Fuck. Go to hell. Ass.

- Uh! I blew you up. - Aw, heck, man. That was not fair.

No, actually it was.

That's like the fairest thing ever.

Whatever.

Oh, once again I take you down.

- Uh ‒ - Three Musketeers?

First word.

Chicken?

Bird.

Second word.

Uh... hood. Big hair.

- Robin Hood. - Ah!

- Whoo! - Brilliant child!

Good one.

Second word.

- Blanket? - Hey, you can't use props.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Cut it out.

Judges speak. No props. No props.

Can't use props. You can do it without that. Think, think, think.

Um, bunch.

- Is it like ‒ - The Gathered?

Um, folded.

Messing around with a blanket. Wrinkling it.

A Wrinkle in Time!

"What are the guards at Azkaban?"

Dementors?

I-I ‒

Front of the line, are you ready?

Count down with me, ladies and gentlemen!

Ten!

Nine! Eight!

Seven! Six!

Five! Four! Three!

Two! One!

Let's go!

Thank you.

Thanks.

- All righty. There we go. - Yay!

No, no, no, no. Back up and take a practice swing first, remember?

Nice and easy. Sweep the floor. Sweep the floor.

That's good.

Don't swing too hard, Randy. He always swings too hard.

Hey, all right! Very good!

Back your feet up a little bit.

Yeah, like that. Now you're gonna hit it straighter.

All right. Go up and hit it. That's good.

Nice slow swing is gonna be better for you.

All right!

I don't know, man. You must've been ‒

See, your feet are too open, Randy.

Nice and natural.

Yes! Go!

All right! Give me five.

Good putt, Son. Good putt.

Did you see that, Randy? That's the way to do it.

All right. Birdie putt.

Goddamn it. Son of a bitch.

Get my clubs, would you? Get the ball.

This is just in case we have guests this weekend.

He always says that, but we never have a guest.

Samantha, I think I heard your dad pull up.

- Oh, all right. - You guys finish your chores?

Not quite. Just about.

How about the dusting, Sam?

I haven't done that yet.

Well, I saw you working on your art project.

You had time to finish your little art project,

but you didn't have time to finish your chores?

- I thought we talked about that. - Dad, it's fine.

- I can finish the dusting. - No, it's not fine, Mindy.

You have your own chores to do, and Sam has hers to do. Huh?

It's simple.

Poor choice there, Sam.

And hurry up.

Mason!

Your dad's here.

You guys aren't settin' any speed records, are you?

What'd you do, get about half done? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- So, did you finish? - No.

Is the job complete?

So, what are you gonna be doing tomorrow?

- Same thing, right? - Yeah.

Okay. Go.

Bye, Mom.

Bye, babe. I love you.

- Bye, Mama. - Bye, honey.

- Have fun with your dad. - Just a minute, Mason.

The boys didn't finish raking the leaves.

Samantha did not finish dusting.

So tomorrow, when they come home,

instead of swimming and all the other little stuff that they wanna do,

- they're gonna do their chores, right? - Right.

Okay, guys, you had this conversation. You understand?

Tomorrow? Okay.

Thank you. I just wanted you to back me up on that

so I'm not the only one yelling at 'em all the time.

Okay, I back you up. You guys got that?

We all agree. Everybody agrees, right? Tomorrow, chores?

Well, they don't hear it. Goes in one ear and out the other.

But, Dad, I mean, dusting is pointless.

It's not pointless. You just don't like to do it.

But I mean, who dusts anymore?

You do when we ask you to!

And don't ‒ Olivia, don't let her back-talk me in front of the other kids, please.

- Thank you. - Samantha, please.

Whatever!

Bye-bye. Have a wonderful weekend.

Okay. Bye, guys. Love you.

I'm sorry, but I thought we talked about it.

You have to draw a line, you have to back it up.

Okay. It's just you have so many lines, Bill.

Everything's a line.

- Hey, Randy. Hey, you guys. - Bye. Bye.

Hey, you two. How you doin'?

- Shotgun. - Ooh!

Here, let me get this bag here.

- You doin' okay, darlin'? - Yeah.

- All right. What about you, cowboy? - Pretty good.

Yeah?

All right. Let's roll!

You guys ready for the big game?

Yeah.

Sam, who are the Astros playing tonight?

- I don't know. - The Milwaukee Brewers.

Get to know 'em. Get to hate 'em.

Mase. How you been, huh? How was your week?

- Pretty good. - Yeah?

- What you been up to? - Not much.

No? You still hangin' with that kid Joe?

- Yeah. - He still your best friend?

Yeah, I guess.

Okay. How 'bout you? How was your week?

- Fine. - What you been up to?

Nothin' really.

You, um ‒ You still working on that sculpture project?

Yeah. Almost finished.

- What's it of? - Nothing.

All right. No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, that is not how we are going to talk to one another.

All right? I will not be that guy.

You cannot put me in that category.

The biological father I spend every other week with

that I make polite conversation while he drives me places and buys me shit.

No. Talk to me.

Samantha, how was your week?

"I don't know, Dad. It was kinda tough.

Billy and Ellen broke up, and Ellen's kinda mad at me

'cause she saw me talking to Billy in the cafeteria.

Remember that sculpture I was workin' on?

Well, it was a unicorn, and the horn broke off, so now it's a zebra, okay?

But I still think I'm gonna get an 'A.'" Right?

Mason, uh, how was your week?

"Well, Dad, you know, it was kinda tough.

Joey's kind of a jerk. Actually, he stole some cigarettes from his mom.

He wanted me to smoke 'em, but I said no

'cause I knew what a hard time you had quitting smoking, Dad."

How 'bout that? Is that so hard?

Dad, these questions are kind of hard to answer.

What is so hard to answer about what sculpture are you making?

- It's abstract. - Okay. Okay, that's good.

See, I didn't know you were even interested in abstract art.

I'm not. They make us do it.

But, Dad, I mean, why is it all on us though? You know, what about you?

How was your week? Who do you hang out with? Do you have a girlfriend?

- What have you been up to? - I see your point.

So we should just let it happen more natural, right?

That's what you're sayin'.

Okay. That's what we'll do, starting now.

Hey, check this out.

That would be, uh ‒ That would be a Magnificent Owl.

Caligo atreus.

What's that one? Look at this.

- Whoa. - What kind is that?

That looks like a Zebra Longwing.

- All right. - Cool.

This one's incredible. That's the owl one, right?

Yeah. Magnificent Owl.

I think he went pee-pee on you, bud.

One, two, three, four, five.

Ah! Ah! Get away from me!

Get away from me!

Hey, hey, hey!

Yo, Mase, look at me here.

Make a diamond with your hands, right? Fingers and thumbs.

Keep your hands soft. Hey, Sam.

Very nice. That's how you want to catch it ‒ just like that.

Even when you're runnin', that's what you're thinkin' about ‒ that diamond.

That diamond and soft hands.

There it is.

Down!

Set!

Hut!

No, no, no, no, no!

Dad! Dad!

Don't let her get ‒ No, no, no, no, no!

Let's go, Roger!

- Dad? - Get him out.

Strike! That's it, Roger!

- Yeah! - Guy's incredible.

He's unhittable this year.

Now just so you know, what we're watching here is history.

Now you see this guy out here?

This dude is like 43 years old, and he's strikin' out guys half his age.

- Come on, Roger! - This guy's ERA is 1.47. Can you believe that?

Now if the Astros could just get a few runs, maybe we'd win a game.

Dad, do you have a job?

Why would you ask me that?

I don't know. Mom wanted to know, and I didn't know what the answer was.

Mom wanted to know. Well, you can tell Mom

that I just happen to have passed my second actuarial exam, all right?

So... you tell her that.

- How's she doing? - Great.

- Is she finishing school? - Yep, all A's.

All A's, huh? Like mother, like daughter, right?

He got that! It's out of here!

Oh! Oh!

- Yeah! - Yay!

Yeah! Mason!

Yes!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

- Hey! - Yeah!

Hey!

- Hi, Jimmy. - Hey, Samantha.

- Hey, what's up, Jimmy? - What's goin' on, Mason, man?

- Astros won. - You went to the game?

What, I'm the only one with any arms around here? Nobody else can carry anything?

- Help their old man out. - What you watching?

Oh, come on, Jimmy, man! You knew the kids were comin' this weekend.

Can't you just help me out a little bit, just ‒

- I'm sorry, muffin. - Don't "muffin" me, all right?

Don't put me in that position. I'm not your fucking Tony Randall.

Dad, it's always a mess.

It was not a mess this morning, okay?

I mowed the lawn.

Oh, yeah? Great.

Oh, come on, man! Turn this shit off. Give me that thing.

- Did you watch the game? - No.

Lane won it with a three-run homer.

It was beautiful, wasn't it?

Sam lost her mind.

She's a huge Astros fan.

Sure.

♪ Well, Saturday night was a lunar eclipse ♪

♪ I sang 'em a song Went somethin' like this ♪

♪ Well, go to sleep, my weary babies ♪

♪ Let the sounds roll on by ♪

♪ Tonight we're safe here in Houston ♪

♪ With this, your daddy's lullaby ♪

♪ Your mother's got a new husband now ♪

♪ He seems all right ♪

♪ I wonder if he's readin' them stories ♪

♪ And kissin' them good night ♪

♪ Babysitters say they miss me ♪

♪ I know I shouldn't hope it's true ♪

♪ The teacher says my son paints pictures of a family ♪

♪ All in blue ♪

♪ She says she caught him whispering through the window ♪

♪ "Daddy, please come home" ♪

♪ I know I could call him up ♪

♪ But what if his mother answers the phone? ♪♪

- You brush your teeth? - What?

Did you brush your teeth?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- You gonna fall asleep with those things in your head? - Maybe.

- Yeah, well, try not to, all right? - Okay.

- You want me to turn off the light? - Sure.

- Good night, Sam. - Good night, Dad.

- Good night, Sam. - Good night, Jimmy.

Hey.

- That was a fun day, right? - Yeah, it was. Sorry.

- Why? - That Mason had to be there, you know?

- Good night. - Good night.

Dad?

There's no, like, real magic in the world, right?

What do you mean?

You know, like elves and stuff.

People just made that up.

I don't know.

I mean, what makes you think that elves are any more magical than something like a whale?

You know what I mean? What if I told you a story

about how underneath the ocean,

there was this giant sea mammal

that used sonar and sang songs,

and it was so big that its heart was the size of a car

and you could crawl through the arteries?

I mean, you'd think that was pretty magical, right?

Yeah.

But, like, right this second,

there's, like, no elves in the world, right?

No. Technically, no elves.

♪ Do you realize ♪

♪ That you have ♪

- Love you, guys. - See you, Dad.

All right. Be well.

- ♪ The most beautiful face? ♪ - Have a great week.

- Sam, I'll see you next weekend. - All right. Oh, yeah, that's right.

- What? - Suzie has a birthday party next Saturday.

- A sleepover? - Yeah.

- All right. I'll talk to your mom about it. - Bye, Dad.

- Don't worry about it, okay? Have a great week. - Had a great time.

♪ Floating in space ♪♪

Oh, man.

How do you guys not know how to do this?

I'll make you some bookmarks. Just a second.

Choose ‒ She looks nice.

Randy, Mason, Dad wants you guys downstairs.

- Why? - You're getting haircuts.

This is gonna look so much better.

You're gonna look like a man instead of like a little girl.

You're takin' the eyebrows off next, right, Byron?

Mason, we're leavin'.

You're not sick.

- Bye, guys. - Bye, Mom.

- Where's Mason? - He doesn't feel too good.

I don't think he's going to school.

He's totally faking it.

Bye.

Mason, what's goin' on?

- I don't feel good. - Yeah, your head feels fine.

So get your ass out of bed.

I'm gonna drive you to school. You got five minutes, and don't make me late.

I mean, he didn't even ask. He just cut it.

I mean, it's my hair.

No wonder you were angry. I'd be angry too.

I look like a Martian now.

Honey, you know what? I'm gonna talk to him about it later, okay?

Yeah, I tried to call you, but you didn't answer your phone.

I'm so sorry.

I've been so busy with school.

Hey.

For what it's worth, it's hair, and it will grow back.

Now I can see your pretty eyes and your foxy face.

Why'd you even marry him? He's such a jerk.

Well, Bill has his good qualities.

You know, nobody's perfect.

And now we have a family.

We already had a family.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America,

and to the republic for which it stands,

one nation, under God, indivisible,

with liberty and justice for all.

Please join me in the Texas pledge.

Honor the Texas flag.

I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas,

one and indivisible.

Thank you. You may be seated.

All right.

All right, class, as you know,

we've been working on our mythology projects.

We're gonna be writing papers about gods and goddesses.

We've listed those gods and goddesses here on the board.

We added a couple of monsters for some of you who might be interested in that.

You're gonna write your essay about your god and goddess.

And to make sure that you cover everything,

let's make sure that we do all of these things right here.

First of all, we need to name your god or goddess

and you need to include who, what, when, where,

why and how.

So make sure that you cover all those things when you're writing your essay.

There's a bump right there.

- See you later, guys. - Yeah.

Mom, are you okay?

- What happened? - No! Go in the house!

Go! Go in the house! Go in the house!

Your mother had a little accident.

Now she's being dramatic.

Get off the fucking floor, Olivia, for Christ's sake.

Ah.

I'm having a drink with my dinner.

Anybody else have a problem with that?

Hmm? Samantha?

No.

- Mindy? - No.

I didn't think so.

Ah.

You don't like me much, do you, Mason?

That's okay. I don't like me either.

Think that's funny, huh?

You think that's fuckin' funny?

What's the matter? You feeling a little left out?

Oh!

Clean it up, goddamn it! Clean it up.

- Bill! Stop it! - Clean this up, goddamn it!

I hate squash!

...on the streets!

Pearl, I'm gonna pay you. I'm workin' three jobs now.

How many times can you watch that, Mason?

- It's funny. - I'm drivin' a cab.

I'm inside with my buddy right now, goin' over my résumé.

I'm gonna smack you.

Okay, you know what? You need to relax.

Why do you need your money so fast? Come on!

- Has he ever gotten this bad before? - No.

But he's yelled a lot.

Yeah, but he hasn't thrown and broken stuff.

Yeah, you're drunk. I knew it.

- You're already drunk. - I'm not drunk.

Give me your cell phones.

So nobody talked to her, huh?

- Mason? - No.

- Mindy? - No.

I believe you.

- Samantha? - No.

I didn't talk to her. She left a message.

- What'd she say? - Nothing much.

What did she say?

She said she'd be back later.

And that's all? "I'll be back later." Click?

She said, "Stay in your rooms. I'll be back later."

Be back later. Stay in your rooms. And that's all, hmm?

Yeah.

- Where is she? - I don't know.

- Where is she? - She didn't say.

All right. Everybody, get in the car.

Hurry up! Get in the car!

It's still not working.

Oh, bullshit.

She took it all.

All right, Randy. Go cash this.

Tell 'em I'm not feeling well or something.

I don't know.

Mason, go with him.

Here. Here's my ID.

Hi. Good afternoon, fellas. What can I do for you today?

Now what's this?

Can't read this.

Hey! This isn't you. Who is this?

It's our... dad.

- He's not feeling well. - Oh! Hey!

Yeah, I know him.

Okay, here we go.

500 bucks. One, two, three, four,

500 bucks.

All right? Don't forget your dad's ID.

Now take care of your dad now, son. You only got the one.

Damn it.

Get outta the way! Jesus Christ.

God.

- Calm down! - What the hell!

Samantha! Mason!

Samantha!

Where the hell have you been?

- I'm leaving you, Bill. We're moving out. - I doubt that.

Samantha, Mason! Come down!

No. Mm-mmm. Don't think so. Oh, who's this?

I'm not here for you.

Oh, really? Oh, I know. You're here to protect my wife from me.

- Well, thank you so much, you two. - Okay, stay back!

- Behave! - Why don't you come inside here, huh?

Come inside here. Where the hell are you goin'?

- Get your ass upstairs. You're not goin' anywhere. - Stop!

- Come on. - Where the hell do you think you're going?

Get upstairs! What the hell ‒ Nobody's going anywhere, goddamn it.

- Stop it! - No, goddamn it!

- Don't touch my kids! - All right, take 'em. Go on.

- Go on. - Don't touch them!

- Well, take 'em then! Just take 'em! - Get in the car!

Go!

Get upstairs!

- Olivia! - Seat belts! Put your seat belts on.

Where are we going?

We're going to stay with Carol and her family for a while.

Don't look back.

It's gonna be okay.

♪ And we see that we're all in this together ♪

♪ And it shows where we stand hand in hand ♪

Hey, Lee, Mason. Guys, when you want to take a break, here's a snack.

♪ Goin' on Wildcats in the house ♪

♪ Everybody say it loud ♪

♪ Wildcats everywhere ♪

♪ Wave your hands up in the air ♪

Hey, Abby. Why don't you come help me with this?

Why couldn't Randy and Mindy come with us?

I'm not their legal guardian, honey.

That would be kidnapping. I can't just ‒

Well, what's gonna happen to them?

What happens when their legal guardian is dangerous and abusive?

You know, I don't know, honey.

I called their mom. I called the Child Protective Services.

I have you and your brother.

We're in a dangerous situation. You're my responsibility.

Are we ever gonna see them again?

I don't know.

I hope so.

How much longer are we gonna be here?

Not long. We're ‒

I don't ‒ I don't know.

I don't have the answer to everything.

Hey, listen. We are happy to have you here as long as you want.

As long as you need.

- This is fun for us, isn't it? - Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it's like having a big sister, like having a brother.

We're gonna help out, right?

- You're not even gonna know we're here. - Okay.

Mom, this is awful.

You're dumping me in some parking lot of the school

where I don't even know anyone.

I'm leaving all my friends, and I didn't even get to say good-bye!

- I don't know where to go! - Samantha, you go right through that door.

The office is right there. They're expecting you.

They're gonna give you your schedule. Here's your lunch money.

I will pick you up right here at 3:30.

I'm wearing dirty clothes

because you wouldn't even let us get our stuff!

We don't even have a place to live!

This sucks!

Samantha! I'm doing the best I can!

And you're right! It sucks!

But it doesn't suck half as much as having a drunk fool slam your head against a wall!

So cut your horseshit attitude! Put your seat belt on.

You know, if you need anything, I'm in Room 112, right?

Okay.

This is Mrs. Darby's room.

Oh, honey, it's gonna be okay. Okay?

Mom.

That concert was off the hook.

I mean, when he smashed that board against that microphone,

I swear, I thought of ‒

- Are you Mason? - Yeah.

Hi. I'm Mrs. Darby. I'm glad to meet you.

Why don't you sit here?

- Kenny, off. - Yes, ma'am.

Kenny.

This is Mason, and I want you to show him around today, okay?

- Got it. - Okay.

Hey, dude. Welcome to the suck.

Everybody, listen up.

We have a new student joining us today.

His name is Mason. He's sitting in the back row.

Kenny's gonna be his buddy, but I want each one of you

to take the time today to introduce yourselves

and welcome him to school.

Okay? Right? Let's get started.

What?

Oh, hi. Can I put an Obama sign in your yard?

Do I look like a Barack Hussein Obama supporter?

No.

This is private property. Get off.

I could shoot you.

What a dick.

He had a Confederate flag on his house.

Love it! Young Obama supporters out on the trail.

This is great. Are you doing this through your school?

- Um, our dad's a big supporter. - Oh, that's great.

I mean, we just got to pull together to get this win, right?

- Yeah. - I just love him so much.

I have these dreams where I'm just kissing him 'cause I just love him so much!

- He's so cute, isn't he? - Yeah.

I made these T-shirts for my kids.

"My mama's for Obama."

- Do you like it? It's good, right? - Yeah.

- Thanks for the sign. - No problem.

Hey, all right! Looks good.

How many you got left, two? All right, all right. We're done.

Let's get out of here. Come on, Sam.

- Go get that McCain sign, would you? - What?

Get the McCain sign. Rip it up. Come on.

Get it! Get it! Go, go, go!

Good job, good job.

I'm proud of you, Son.

You guys are gonna get us arrested.

I'm a patriot, all right? Sometimes in this life, you gotta fight.

And what is it that you do at these parties?

I don't know. Talk, dance, listen to music.

Uh-huh. And that's more fun to you

than going camping with your brother and your father, who love you?

Yes. Sorry.

Wow. Is there gonna be alcohol there?

Probably not. Maybe some of the seniors.

Mm-hmm. I know what this party is.

The parents are out of town, right?

Somebody's scored a keg.

You guys are gonna have a good time, trash the whole house.

- Right? Am I right? - No. No, Dad.

- Amy's really responsible. - Mm-hmm.

- Who's gonna be there? - Marie, Christine, Amy. Everyone.

Is, uh ‒ Is that guy on your Facebook page ‒ Is he gonna be there?

Who?

Come on. The guy that has got his arm wrapped around you

with his hair over his eyes.

- Garret? - Garret.

Is that his name? All right. Is Garret gonna be there?

Probably.

Probably. Uh-huh. You see?

I learn more about her from her Facebook page

than I do from our scintillating conversation.

- Is he your boyfriend? - Kind of.

Have you met him? Has he been around the house?

- Sometimes. - Sometime-s? "S"?

You have a boyfriend. Wow.

- Have you heard of Sarah Palin? - Yes.

What's the one thing you know about Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter?

- She's pregnant? - That's right.

What is the one thing that you are not going to be

in a couple of years when you turn 17?

- Pregnant? - That's right!

Now, what are the two ways that you can achieve that goal?

First is

not have any sex, okay?

That's the first way. Just not engage in that.

That did not work out very well for your mother and me.

- What's the second? Where are you going? - Bathroom.

You don't have to go to the bathroom. Sit down.

Just sit down.

What's the second way?

Huh? Has your mother talked to you guys about this stuff?

- Oh, Dad! - Come on.

Has she talked to you about contraception?

Huh? What, has she ‒ Condoms?

- Has she talked about that? - Dad, please.

- What? Does Garret have a condom ‒ - Oh, God!

- What? What? Come on, Sam. - Dad!

We have to be able to talk about this. Come on. We do.

We can do it. Just stay with me here, all right?

It's as hard for me as it is for you.

But seriously, I read in an article in the paper the other day

that said although US teenagers are not the most sexually active,

we have the highest rate of teenage pregnancy, okay?

- Hey. What's goin' on? - Oh, hey, Tammy. How you doin'?

- Nice to see you. - Oh, yeah. Good to see you.

- Um, Tammy, this is my daughter Samantha. - Hey, Samantha.

And this is Mason Junior right here. Tammy.

- Mason Junior. - Say hi.

- Hi. - Hi, Mason. Nice to meet you.

- Heard a lot about you guys. - What are you doing here?

I'm just here with some friends.

- Oh, wow. - Yeah.

- What are you guys up to? - We're goin' camping.

Well, no. This one is not going camping.

- This one is going to a party. - Oh. Fun.

We ‒ the men ‒ are going camping.

Boys are going camping. All right. Very nice.

Well, uh, are we still on for tomorrow?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll drop him off at 7:00, and then I'll just call you.

- All right? - Okay. Great.

It was really nice meeting you both. Take care.

- Talk to you soon. Bye. - I'll see you.

Don't ‒ Don't look at me like that, all right?

I just ‒ Look, just to finish the point, okay?

I was 23 when your mom had you, all right? So was she, all right?

We didn't put ourselves in the best position to be great parents.

And I wish that ‒ I wish I were a better parent to you guys, all right?

And I-I hope that you can learn from my mistakes.

Okay? So wear a condom, okay?

- Oh! - Or get Garret. I don't know.

Whatever.

Now, listen to this song, all right?

♪ I try to stay busy ♪

It's straight up, the lyrics, and it's a straight-up old school country song.

♪ I do the dishes I mow the lawn ♪

Listen to the production.

The production's like, uh ‒ like Abbey Road or something.

- ♪ I try to keep myself occupied ♪ - ♪ Occupied ♪

♪ Even though I know you're not comin' home ♪

You know, his old woman's gone. Straight up.

- Nothin' fancy. - ♪ I try to keep the house nice and neat ♪

♪ Make my bed I change the sheets ♪

♪ I even learned how to use the washing machine ♪

♪ But keeping things clean ♪

♪ Doesn't change anything ♪

Yeah, I think she's about to get her master's degree.

- Well, then she's gonna start applying for teaching jobs? - I think she already has.

- Really? Where? - All over.

- All over Texas? - Yeah.

Well, if you gotta move, you gotta move, you know? It's no big deal.

We can handle that. I'll still come get you every other weekend.

I mean, unless she moves 500 miles away or something.

It'll just be a little more car time. No big deal.

- I'm just kinda sick of moving. - Well, I bet you are.

But you never know. I mean, I might have to move, right?

I'm working for this insurance company now.

These places get bought and sold all the time.

You know, we'll just roll with it.

I thought you were a musician.

I am, but... life is expensive, you know?

Guy's got to be responsible.

What do you think? Hey! You ‒

Oh, you punk kid!

You got no respect!

You know that redhead at the bowling alley?

Sure. What about her?

Do you know her well?

Uh, you know, we've hung out a little bit.

Is she your girlfriend?

How do you mean?

Like, have you kissed her?

Um ‒

Yeah, yeah. I've kissed her.

What about you? You got a girlfriend?

Sort of.

Really? Have you, uh ‒ Have you kissed her?

Not really.

Yeah. What have you done?

- We talked on the phone. - Oh, yeah?

- How'd that go? - Pretty terrible.

Yeah? Why?

Well, when we're at school, we got plenty to talk about,

but when we're alone or on the phone, it's like we have nothing in common.

Nothin'?

She's not interested in music or video games or ‒

- Three best movies this summer. - Right.

Tropic Thunder, Dark Knight and Pineapple Express.

- Yeah, what about 'em? - She said they all sucked.

- Okay. What's she interested in? - I don't know.

- Goin' to the mall with her stupid friends. - All right.

- Well, is she cute? Watch your step there. - Yeah.

Yeah? All right. Well, here's what you do. All right?

First off, you gotta ask her a lot of questions.

Then you have to listen to the answers, all right?

Actually be interested in her.

If you can do those things, you're gonna be light-years ahead of all the other guys.

Okay, this is the best s'more I ever made in my life.

- Dad. - This is absolute peak. Look at this.

- Ah, that's just perfect. - Honey brown, no burn.

Look at that, huh? Sell that in the store. Mmm.

That's like advertisement worthy.

- Advertisement quality. - Yeah.

Mmm.

You think they ever will make another Star Wars?

I don't know. I think if they were to make another one,

that the period where this game is set is where it would have to be

'cause there's nothin' after, really.

Yeah. Return of the Jedi ‒ it's over. There's nothin' ‒

Yeah, there's nothing else to do there.

- You can turn Han Solo into a Sith lord. - What are you gonna do?

♪ If I can just get off of this LA freeway ♪

♪ Without getting killed or caught ♪

♪ I'll be down the road in a cloud of smoke ♪

♪ To some land that I ain't bought, bought, bought ♪♪

- Good mornin'. - Good mornin'.

- You gotta pee? - Sure.

Yeah. Hit the campfire.

Ancient Native American custom.

You give back to the Earth what you take from it,

and you don't burn the forest down.

Okay, guys. Have a good day.

Mason, don't forget. I have to teach late today.

- Sam's gonna pick you up. Right, Sam? - Yeah.

- All right. - Okay. Bye, guys.

See ya.

♪ Counting all different ideas drifting away ♪

- Hey. - That's what I was talking to you about.

- Yeah. Good luck with that. - See you, man.

♪ Watch her moving in elliptical patterns ♪

♪ Think it's not what you say What you say ‒♪♪

- Don't bump into me, little bitch! - I didn't.

- You call me a liar? - No.

Don't act like you're tough shit, motherfucker.

I don't think pretty boy's hair's good enough.

Hey! Don't touch me, faggot!

You're a fuckin' asshole.

- Hey, Mason. - Hi, Jill.

So, where you going?

Over to the college.

- What's going on there? - My mom's a teacher.

Oh, cool. What does she teach?

Psychology, I think.

- What are you up to? - Oh, my mom owns Needleworks.

The arts and crafts store over there.

So I'm just kinda hanging out.

But I'm supposed to be going to the hospital soon.

- How come? - You know Courtney?

Girl with the dyed black hair and the nose ring?

- Wears Hot Topic every day? - I think so.

We used to be best friends growing up,

but we've kind of grown apart.

She sort of got all emo. She thinks I'm a prep.

But I still consider her a friend.

Anyway, she cut one of her wrists.

I don't know how bad, but I think I should go visit.

- So what are you reading? - Uh, it's Breakfast of Champions.

Kurt Vonnegut.

I think my older brother likes him.

I'm reading To Kill a Mockingbird for the third time.

My friends make fun of me.

I think I'm the only girl in the whole school who doesn't like the Twilight books.

- Have you read them? - Sure haven't.

I tried, but it was so cheesy.

So how do you like San Marcos?

I like it all right.

It's a lot smaller than Houston, but it seems pretty cool.

Have you always lived here?

Yeah. If you want the big city around here,

you have to drive to San Antonio or Austin.

Have you been there yet?

I went to San Antonio for a day,

but I haven't been to Austin yet.

That's where all the high school kids go on weekends for shows and stuff.

That's what I've heard.

So are you going to Shauna's party next weekend?

Um, I think I heard about it. I'm not really sure though.

- Well, you should. - Why's that?

LeeAnn has a big crush on you, and I know she was hoping you would go.

- You don't have a girlfriend, do you? - Not currently.

Well, then you should come.

- I'll tell Chase to make sure you're there. - Okay.

But don't tell LeeAnn I told you that. She'd kill me.

I won't.

- Well, I better get going. See you later. - Bye.

His cognitive series, his interviews with orphans,

ethology theorists' work.

And then he, in turn, was supported strongly

by Harry Harlow's rhesus monkey study.

You guys, you gotta think, this is the 1950s. This was radical.

This flew in the face of traditional learning theory,

of B.F. Skinner's classical and instrumental conditioning.

Now, Bowlby's gonna argue that human survival

depends on us falling in love.

It depends on me falling in love with my mother,

and my mother falling in love with me.

And if that doesn't happen, we're pretty much doomed.

Now think about it.

A tiger chases her tribe out of a cave.

Now, an ideal mother goes ‒

"My baby! I love you! I'll protect you."

Or "Why am I gonna pick you up? You're gonna slow me down.

You are ‒ tiger kibble."

So next week we are gonna get into Bowlby's four stages of attachment.

Oh, oh, uh, Professor Douglas and I ‒

Some of you might have classes with Elena ‒

She and I are hosting a little pre-Thanksgiving get-together at my place,

so if anyone wants to come, please stop by.

I'm not the greatest cook.

Thanks, honey.

Samantha!

Why the hell didn't you pick up your brother like you said you would?

Mom, I know what you're gonna say.

She was running late, and we couldn't turn around.

No, no! No excuses!

The bottom line is you didn't do what you said you were gonna do.

You stranded your brother.

It's embarrassing to ask my friend to turn around

and go get some kid at the middle school.

What do you mean "some kid"? He's your brother.

And you know what? We've helped Janie out before.

She lives right around the corner. It's no big deal.

Sorry.

You know what, Samantha?

You need to start thinking long and hard about who you want to be.

Do you want to be a cooperative person

who's compassionate and helps people out,

or do you want to be a self-centered narcissist?

You know what? You're right. I am this horrible person.

But honestly, he's not a baby anymore.

You don't have to treat him like one.

He's in eighth grade, and he can find his way home if he wants to.

You know what?

When Gabi leaves, you and me are gonna have a chat.

Awkward.

Dude, that sucks.

- Hey, man. What's up? - Hey, we're going camping tonight.

- You in? - Uh, who's goin'?

My brother, one of his friends and Tony... maybe.

Yeah, let me check with my mom.

Hey, Mom. Can I go camping with Chase tonight?

Camping? Where?

Uh, at that house that his family's building. It's pretty much finished.

Well, will any adults be there?

His brother's a senior.

- You have your cell phone? - Yeah.

- Is it charged? - Mm-hmm.

Okay, do me a favor. Leave his parents' number and the address on the counter.

Okay.

Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!

- You ready? - Check this shit out.

That was all right, but this is gonna be badass.

All right, let me see ‒ Let me see what you can do.

This is your face. I'm about to break his face right here.

Oh, shit!

- Shit. - All right. Now check this out.

You might want to move.

Oh!

Ow! That'd be painful. That's like the kidneys, stomach, something.

Oh.

Check this out, man.

- Whoa! - Pancreas.

- That shit's lethal. - Yeah, that would be painful.

Man, have a beer, man. That was awesome.

- It's beer-30, children. - Nice.

- Aw, no, thanks. - Come on, man.

What are you, a pussy?

No, I just don't feel like drinking a beer right now.

Man, if you're too chickenshit to even have a beer,

I know for a fact that you have never gotten any pussy.

Like you guys have.

- Sure have. - When?

- Last summer. - With who?

It was awesome. Chase went down easy street and fucked this whore Nancy.

- At least that's what he said. - I did. Would I lie?

Bullshit. Quick, where were you?

At Tobler's house. And she fucked a couple other guys too.

Oh, man, his first piece of ass was sloppy seconds.

What about you, Mason? You ever got any?

Yeah, you ever made her howl into the night?

A few times.

- Really? - Yeah, right.

What was her name, Lucky?

No.

Jennifer. She doesn't live here though.

- She's back in Houston. - You're fuckin' lying.

I don't care if you assholes believe me or not.

Let me guess ‒ you were pulling all kinds of ass back home, but once you got down here, lefty.

Hey, fuck you. I would, but none of the girls here want to.

Dude, it's not what they want, man. It's what you want.

- True "dat." - You know what you should do?

- Join a band. That's all it takes, man. - Oh, yeah?

Fuck yeah, dude.

You don't even have to play that well.

Start playing your instrument, and they line up to give you blow jobs. Except for you.

Doesn't impress the ladies so much when you play flute for the marching band.

I'm not in the fucking marching band.

Oh, dude, you sure? I heard you play the skin flute.

All right. I got a question for you guys.

If you think you're so cool,

why are you hanging out with a bunch of eighth graders on a Friday night?

Hey, fuck you, you little penis wrinkle.

You're lucky to even be here. This is our campout.

The only reason you little cum gums are here is because

fucking Charlie's mom made him bring his little asshole brother,

and then he drags along you little dice danglers.

Fuckin' fuzz nut talking shit!

It's all good, man. These little fuzz nuts are gonna get their chance soon enough.

- We got some whores coming by later. - Yeah?

- Hell yeah! - Now, I know Chase will fuck anything.

I've seen this kid mount boulders before.

What about you guys? You in?

- Whatever. - All right. Good man.

- What about you, Peter Puffer? - I don't know.

- Maybe. - Dude, it's okay to be gay. We understand.

Just, you know, sleep over there.

I'm not gay.

- Give it some time, man. You'll realize. - Fuck y'all.

See, that's exactly my point, man.

Nah, we don't have whores coming over.

We were just fucking with you to see what you'd say.

And you just earned your "vage" badge.

Put it next to your bitch card.

Yeah, 'cause, you know, you're a bitch.

Now hold this like the bitch you are, bitch.

All right. This shit is called the death punch.

Oh!

Okay.

Hey, you guys made it. Good.

- Oh, there you are. - Oh, wow.

And here you go, hostess.

Oh, thank you. Hey, can I get you a plate?

- Oh, that's cool. - Thanks.

- You did that? - Yeah.

Wow.

- How long have you been doing that for? - Not very long.

Um, I went to this camp thing just this past summer.

They have a camp for graffiti?

- Well, they call it "urban art" ‒ - Oh.

so it sounds, you know, less illegal.

But it's only just a way to get free spray paint.

Cool. So is this your tag? Is that what they still call it?

Yeah, but you know, it's just letters that I'm good at writing.

It's good. K ‒

- "E." - E ‒

Z-J-O.

Kezjo. That's cool.

It doesn't really mean anything though.

- Is that your dad? - Yeah.

- Where's he live? - In Houston.

You get to see him much?

Yeah. You know, some weekends and over the summer.

Cool.

So, you're a student of my mom's, right?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, she's, um ‒ I got one class with her.

Yeah, she's cool.

How's she doing? Is she ‒ Is she a good teacher and everything?

Yeah. She's great.

She's super smart and she cares, you know.

She makes it interesting.

She's probably even my favorite teacher.

So, anyway, we figured out a way

to rig up our iPods to the external speakers on the ASV.

So every time we come rolling into town,

you knew the 456 was there 'cause we were bumping House of Pain.

It was like, "Jump around, jump around."

The whole family's coming outside.

You got the kids and the mom and the dad,

and they're all bouncing up and down.

We're throwing out candies for the kids

and soccer balls and Beanie Babies and Frisbees,

um, smokes for the adults,

and, uh, they loved ‒ they absolutely loved Gatorade.

But for some reason, you know, they hated the lemon lime flavor.

I don't know what it was. Yeah. Couldn't give it away.

- How long were you over there? - I did two tours in Iraq and one in Bosnia.

Wow.

- Did you enlist? - Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I was, um, Army National Guard.

And, uh, you know, coming straight out of high school,

needed money for college.

Seemed like a decent-paying job. And, uh, did my tour.

And whenever I got done, I told them if there's a world-changing event,

I'll come back.

And, uh, three months later,

9/11 happened, and I was back 9/12.

And I'm proud to say the 456, the whole time we were there,

we never lost a guy, not one casualty.

But is that odd? Is that unusual?

Yeah.

Almost impossible.

Like the guys that came along after us and replaced us,

they didn't listen to any of our advice.

They, you know, did basically the polar opposite of what we did,

and they lost seven guys in the first month.

Wow. What did you guys do differently?

Well, I'd like to think it's just a matter of mutual respect, you know.

All the time we spent over there building trust,

these guys basically destroyed it in three days.

So what did the locals think about why we're there?

Oil. Plain and simple.

♪ How I wish ♪

♪ How I wish you were here ♪

♪ We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl ♪

♪ Year after year ♪

♪ Running over the same old ground ♪

♪ What have we found? ♪

♪ The same old fears ♪

♪ I wish you were here ♪♪

Hey, Mason. One last hit.

Hey. Mickey Mouse Club.

Get the fuck out of my car.

Just crawl out the back window or something, man.

I'm gonna miss you.

I'll see you on Sunday night.

All right. You better text me.

Mm. Do you have any gum?

Um ‒ Yeah, I do, actually.

- Here you go. - Thanks. See ya.

And they're buying this party line

that they're supposed to feel bad and trade off their own pension,

as if that's what's been corrupting this nation.

Yeah, because those who hear Fox, in my opinion, are being lied to.

Yeah, thank God for Wisconsin. We have to follow that example.

You're right.

Hey, Mason. What time is it?

Uh, like 12:15.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday!

Mason, it's your birthday?

Uh, just now, I guess.

- Yeah, how old are you? - Fifteen.

Fifteen.

Give me a hug. Happy birthday.

Oh, my goodness.

Hey.

Have you ‒ Have you been drinking?

- Have you? - Yeah, a little.

- Have you? - A little bit.

Have you been ‒

A little bit.

Oh.

- Oh, okay. - I'm gonna go to sleep.

Talk in the morning, huh?

- Hey, Dad. - Hey!

- How you doing? - Good.

- Whose car is that? - That's our car.

- Hop on in there. - Hey.

Hey, sweetie. Mmm.

Aw.

Hey, Cooper. Hey.

How's it going?

Hello, little brother.

He's so cute.

Can we just replace that part of the pipe?

No. No, it's-it's no good. Everything is no good.

- ¿Todo? ¿Total? - Everything. Yes. Mira.

¿Ya ve? Se quiebra. Mira. Párate ahípara que vea.

This one is ‒

- Gusto. It's stronger ‒ - Yes. It's better. Yes, yes, yes.

Hey, listen, thanks for that camera you got Mason.

- Oh, yeah. - He's loving that thing.

- He's all into the photography thing right now. - Yeah, I know.

He's actually talking about turning his closet into a darkroom.

The red light and developing ‒ the whole bit.

- You all right with that? - I probably won't see him for a week.

- Yeah. Right. - But he's having a good time.

- At least he's focused on something. - Yeah. Yeah.

- That's what I like. - Yeah, he's all about it.

Okay, let's go grande.

It's good? It's better. Yes.

Mira. Agarra la "pipa" y la caja y vamos a hacer todo.

- Claro. - Sí.

Hey, you know, you're smart. You should be in school.

I like school. I need school.

But it's hard. I working all days.

Go to night school at community college.

It's-It's pretty affordable.

You're doing a nice job with the house though. It's looking great.

- Thanks. - Really great.

Yeah. Some fix-its here and there.

We got a good deal on a foreclosure, so now I'm finding out why.

- Yeah, right. Hey, bud. - You know?

Hey. Happy birthday, huh?

- What's that? - That's our new car.

Get in it.

All right, have a good weekend.

Hey.

- Hi. - How you doing?

- Good to see you. - You too.

Hey.

- How are you? - Ooh.

You look great. Ooh! Look at him.

Oh! He's got Mason's nose.

- Yeah, isn't he cute? - Yeah.

- All right. - Bye, you guys.

We got a big drive ahead of us.

- Bye, Sam. - You guys drive safe.

All right. Well, we'll be back tomorrow night.

Bye, honey. I'm so glad you were born.

♪ Love waits forever ♪

♪ For one and for all ♪♪

So, this is, like, Annie's car and ‒

and you drive the GTO?

I guess you can't really put a baby seat in that thing.

Yeah, no. But I had to sell that anyway.

- You what? - Yeah, I had to sell that.

So ‒ So it's gone?

Yeah, some sucker collector from California paid 22 grand for it,

which is great 'cause I basically got to pay for this in cash.

I only paid 8,500 for that thing way back when.

Cars are generally a terrible investment, you know?

Soon as you drive them off the lot, you got a used car on your hands,

and the value's only dropping from there.

But if you take care of it, you know,

and you get lucky and it's a classic, the value starts going up again.

Shit, you got guys paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for some Shelby Cobra.

What?

You don't remember?

- Remember what? - Really?

You said that was gonna be my car when I turned 16.

What?

- No, I didn't. I never said that. - I remember.

I was in third grade,

and you were taking me over to Anthony Nagar's house for his birthday,

and we were there early, so we gave him a ride around the block.

He was talking about how much he loved your car,

and you were all like, "This is gonna be Mason's when he turns 16."

What are you ‒

First off, I have no memory of that, all right?

Second of all, I would never say that. Never.

You did though.

What ‒ Mason.

What about your sister? I'm just gonna forget about her?

Come on, how's that fair?

Huh? Anthony Nagar. What ‒

Are you ‒

Oh, come on.

I mean, you're not ‒

Look, you can sit there like there's a death in the family,

but bottom line is that was my car.

I paid for it, I took care of it, and I can do whatever I want with it.

All right? I'm sorry if you had other ideas about it,

but when you get older, you can save up and buy a car of your own

and be cool like I used to be.

Or... you can get a minivan.

We're gonna make you swim out of here

in your own blood.

Does your mom actually let you watch this?

Yeah. She likes it too.

Oh, my God.

- Okay. Well ‒ - Yeah.

Have you ever seen her in concert?

No. But she's coming to Houston in April.

- She's coming to Houston? - Mm-hmm.

Your dad and I could get you tickets and you can stay with us.

- That'd be great. - Yeah.

- Hey, hey, Annie? - Yeah?

Will you get me the little birthday present for Mason?

- Yeah, babe. - All right.

This one ‒ This one needs a little explanation, okay?

Open it up.

I call that the Beatles' Black Album.

What it is is the best of John, Paul, George and Ringo solo, post-breakup.

Thanks.

Yeah, basically, I put the band back together for you.

Whenever you listen to too much of the solo stuff,

it kind of becomes a drag, you know?

But you put 'em next to each other, right,

and they start to elevate each other, and then you can hear it.

Ah. It's the Beatles. You know?

I don't know. I think I always just liked Paul the best.

It doesn't matter. You're missing the point.

There is no favorite Beatle.

That's what I'm saying. It's in the balance.

That's what made them the greatest fucking rock band in the world, okay?

And there's this decade of music out there that's been scattered.

And now it has been carefully found, arranged and ordered for you

by your loving father.

Very arranged and very organized over and over again

- by your loving father. - Yes, yes, yes.

So, I mean, look at that ‒ look at that.

Top of volume II, first four tracks,

you've got "Band on the Run"

into "My Sweet Lord," into "Jealous Guy," into "Photograph."

I mean, come on, it's like the perfect segue.

You got Paul who takes you to the party,

George who talks to you about God,

John who says no, it's about love and pain,

and then Ringo who just says hey,

can't we enjoy what we have while we have it?

It's a good record. I shit you not.

Cool.

Hey there, Cliff.

Hey, how you doin'? How you doin'?

- It's good to see you. - Great to see you.

- You made it all right. - Yeah, we sure did. We sure did.

How are you, darlin'?

- All right, we ready? - Yeah, yeah, get started.

Wait. Help light 'em up.

Hey, Sam.

Come on.

Hey, still sleeping here?

- Oh, yeah. - Hey, buddy.

- Sawin' logs. - Oh! Ready?

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Mason ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪

Make a wish. Make a wish.

- Hey! - Real good!

Presents. Wait, wait, wait. Here, sweetie.

Sam, would you get us a knife so we can cut this up?

All right.

I hope you like it.

I heard you didn't have one, so ‒

It's a Bible. This is your first Bible.

Look. There's your name.

- Wow. - In gold. And wait, wait, wait.

Look at this. Okay. It's a red letter edition,

and that means that everything that Jesus said is in red.

- Thank you. - Like it?

All right. I love you, sweetie. Happy birthday.

- This one's from us. - Wait.

It's not gonna make all your dreams come true.

Just keep your expectations low.

No, no, no. You need it.

Hey! Come on, right? You gotta have it.

You need this. You've got a life ahead of you.

And the shirt is blue, and I know you like blue.

You've got dances and job interviews.

I'm gonna get it all wrinkled here.

- Mason? - The Black Album was from me.

- Uh-oh. - Come here, son.

Pull that off.

There's a 20-gauge shotgun.

- Wow. - Yeah.

My dad gave it to me when I was a little younger than you,

and his dad gave it to him,

and, well, you're 15 and I'd like for you to have it, all right?

Here, you hold it.

Yeah?

- Thank you. - Congratulations, son.

I'll teach you how to clean it, teach you how to fire it.

I'll teach you a little bit of safety.

Now cock it. All right, there you go.

Now, what you want to do is line up the front sight with the back sight here.

- You see this little "V" right here? - Mm-hmm.

- Now, which one you aiming at? - Uh, the middle can.

The middle can? All right, all right.

- Now, fire at will, all right? - All right.

- Ho! Whoa! - Yeah!

All right, watch out, watch out.

Whoa. Be careful. All right.

Ready?

Pull!

Oh, you-you, uh ‒ you hit a little low.

Wait until it gets up high and then shoot, all right?

'Cause then it's a better aim coming down.

Remember, second trigger.

Mm-hmm.

- Ready? - Mm-hmm.

Pull!

Ha! Ha! Look what you did.

Well, you nailed it, didn't you?

- How's that feel? - Felt good.

Yeah, it felt good. Good.

♪ Well, I want for us to be together forever ♪

♪ But to wander wherever I may ♪

♪ I want you to be easy and casual ♪

♪ But still demand I stay ♪

♪ I want for you to know me completely ♪

♪ But still remain mysterious ♪

♪ Consider everything deeply ♪

♪ But still remain fearless ♪

♪ Climb to the top Look over the ledge ♪

♪ Dance barefoot on a razor's edge ♪

♪ Reach for the stars Grab the tiger by the tail ♪

- ♪ If I don't try, I'll never fail ♪ - Good!

♪ If you go home, you're rolling the dice ♪

♪ Can't step in the same river twice ♪

♪ If you love too much, it'll turn to hate ♪

♪ If you never leave home, you'll never be late ♪

♪ Eat too much, you're gonna get fat ♪

♪ If you buy a dog, it'll piss off your cat ♪

♪ Take a deep breath Enjoy the ride ♪

♪ 'Cause arrivals and departures run side by side ♪♪

- Oh! You're our first audience, you know?

That was ‒ It was wonderful.

Mason demanded we work on it the whole time.

- Thank you, thank you. - It's a work in progress.

A week later ‒ We don't know why Thomas wasn't there the first time.

But a week later, Thomas comes back and joins the other disciples.

They say, "Hey, the Lord's alive. We saw him."

"I won't believe it until I put my finger into his side

and I'm gonna see those nail prints in his hands."

Phew. About that time, here comes Jesus standing right next to him, okay?

And he turns to Thomas.

Don't you know Thomas felt some shame?

He turns to Thomas and says, "Thomas, here, stick your finger in my side.

Look at these nail prints. It's me."

And Thomas says, "My Lord and my God, I believe."

And Jesus said, "Well, that's good.

But blessed are those who can believe without seeing."

It's a lot easier when you can see

and feel and touch.

But like us, we haven't seen him in the flesh.

We haven't felt him in the flesh,

but we have experienced him in the spirit.

At least I have. And I hope y'all have too.

This pond's right up here.

Ooh, it's low.

Yeah.

My dad could take you fishing next time you're here if you want.

Nice.

Hey, baby. What's going on?

I think we're just gonna hang out here for a minute.

- You want me to stay with you? - No, it's okay.

- You sure? - Yeah, thanks.

Mason, why are you such a stick-in-the-mud?

What are you even talking about?

Hey, you guys don't mind coming back here on the 20th, do you, for Cooper's baptism?

- No, it's fine. - Sam?

- Okay. - I appreciate it.

It means a lot to Annie and her folks, you know.

Were we baptized?

I wasn't the least bit concerned with the state of your soul.

- We can do it now, though, if you want. - No, I think I'm all right.

You and Cooper together, you know.

Dunk your heads.

You're not becoming one of those God people, are you, Dad?

And what's that supposed to mean, hmm?

I can hear you!

Well, I think that shotgun should live at my house, huh?

I don't think your mom would love that.

Hey, look out, Sam. Let me show you how it's done.

Nice, Dad.

Still got the goods, hmm?

How long you been in here, Mason?

I'm not sure.

I'm sure.

All class.

Did you complete your image diary?

Not yet.

Completed your digital contact sheet?

Not quite. But, I mean, it's not gonna take me long.

"Not yet." "Not quite."

Darkroom time is extracurricular.

Technically, you don't ever have to be in here these days

and certainly not until you've completed your assignments.

- That's the deal. - Sorry.

I'm worried about you, Mason.

- Why is that? - I'll tell you why.

The images you're turning in, they're cool.

You're looking at things in a really unique way.

Got a lot of natural talent.

Thanks.

Yeah, but that and 50 cents will just get you a cup of coffee in this old world.

I've met a lot of talented people over the years.

How many of them made it professionally

without discipline, commitment and a really good work ethic?

I can tell you.

I can count it on two fingers.

Zero.

It's not gonna happen for you, Mason.

The world is too competitive.

There are too many talented people who are willing to work hard

and a boatload of morons who are untalented

who are more than willing to surpass you.

As a matter of fact, a lot of them are sitting in that classroom out there right now.

You know what they're doing? They're doing their assignments.

Which is what you're supposed to be doing.

But you're not. You're in here. Now, why is that?

- You special, Mason? - No.

But the things you're talking about, like work ethic or whatever,

I feel like I do work pretty hard.

I spend the whole weekend taking pictures a lot of times.

You like football, Mason?

- Not really. - Yeah, I know you don't.

That's why I've just assigned you to shoot the football game tonight.

Okay? It starts at 7:30. I want you to get there early.

I want you to shoot a full card, 300 images. I want 'em downloaded.

I want 'em sorted, and I wanna see 'em very first thing Monday.

Okay?

Wanna know why I'm doing this?

I guess.

Who do you wanna be, Mason?

- What do you wanna do? - I wanna take pictures.

Make art.

Any dipshit can take pictures, Mason.

Art ‒ that's special.

What can you bring to it that nobody else can?

That's what I'm trying to find out.

Try harder.

Hey, maybe in 20 years you can call old Mr. Turlington

and you can say, "Thank you, sir,

for that terrific darkroom chat we had that day."

Get back to class and do your work.

Hey, man. You're walking a little funny.

Fuck you.

I'm just saying, you guys were in there for a long time.

Just hope he bought you dinner first.

Mason, honey, come down for dinner!

Samantha, you didn't post these pictures and their descriptions?

Come on. This auction is gonna end on Sunday.

Honey, you got to get those posted.

Why are we even doing this?

It's like an online junk shop. I thought you had a good job.

I do. We're what you call "house poor."

Everyone's got to do their part. Your brother took the pictures.

You have to help.

Who even buys this shit?

Hey, Sam, watch your mouth, all right?

Don't disrespect your mother. You like a roof over your head, don't you?

Yeah, and you like having electricity so that you can charge your cell phone?

I'm not even gonna be here next year.

I'm a senior. I should be having fun.

Nice nails.

Yeah, some girl did that in sixth period.

You planning on keeping 'em?

Until it comes off, I guess.

Last summer it was the earrings, and now the nails.

You got a, uh ‒ You got a purse to go with all that?

A lot of guys do that. He's just trying to be cool.

When I was in high school,

having a job, being responsible,

being able to afford a car, that was cool.

Mason, honey, why don't you get you and your sister some water?

Hey, man, Turlington says to cut the artsy crap and shoot the game.

So take your lens and point it that way.

- Jesus Christ. - Also, we got a ride.

McCormick's gonna take us to the party.

We're gonna head out after the game. You're going, okay?

Okay.

Shoot the game.

Ow!

♪ A-long gone ♪

♪ Oh, now she's long ♪

♪ Yeah, now she's long gone like Moses through the corn ♪

Oh! First one.

- That's what I'm talking about. - What was that?

- What's up? - What is up?

♪ Give me a cigarette and a beer ♪

♪ My wardrobe and stuff ♪

- Hey, what's up? - Hey. How's it going?

Pretty good.

How long have you been here?

I don't know. A while, I guess.

A while? Yeah.

I just feel like there's so many things

that I could be doing and probably wanna be doing that I'm just not.

Why aren't you?

I mean, I guess it's just being afraid

of what people would think ‒ you know, judgment.

Yeah. I guess it's really easy to say,

like, "I don't care what anyone else thinks," but everyone does.

- You know? Deep down. - Exactly.

I find myself so furious at all these people that I'm in contact with

just for controlling me or whatever.

But they're not even aware they're doing it.

Yeah.

So,

in this perfect world where's no one's controlling you,

what's different?

- What changes? - Everything.

I just wanna be able to do anything I want,

because it makes me feel alive

as opposed to giving me the appearance of normality.

Whatever that means.

I don't think it means much.

You're kind of weird, you know that?

Yeah?

- Is that a compliment? - I don't know.

Do you wanna be weird?

I don't wanna, like, scare kids at the park or anything like that.

I really like talking with you.

I don't usually even try

to, like, vocalize my thoughts or feelings or anything.

Just ‒ I don't know. It never sounds right. Words are stupid.

So, why are you trying with me?

I don't know. I guess I feel comfortable.

I'm glad.

Hey, Jim.

Uh, sorry I'm so late.

What time were you supposed to be home?

I don't know. A while ago.

A while ago like 30 minutes ago, an hour ago?

'Cause, truthfully, nobody even knew where you were

until your sister told us.

She's been home for a while.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, been hearing a lot of that lately.

See, but you don't actually care.

You just kind of ‒ kind of come and go as you please,

and you don't care if your mom's upset or what time you gotta be home.

Is that what's up?

- I don't know what to tell you. - Stop mumbling.

You know, speak up.

I can't understand a word coming out of your mouth.

It's just like ‒

And I ask you questions, and you just ‒

Can I just have one day where everybody isn't all over my ass?

I'm up your ass?

This is my house.

Now, if you wanna live in my house,

then you get home when you say you're gonna be home.

You know, Jim, you're not my dad.

No, I'm not your dad. You know how I know that?

'Cause I'm actually here.

I'm the guy with the job, paying the bills,

taking care of you, your mom, your sister.

Huh? Huh?

I'm that guy.

- Morning. - Morning.

Hey, which one of you guys used the downstairs bathroom last night?

I don't know. I didn't.

That tall guy, what's his name?

- Phillip? - Yeah, Phillip. He did it.

Can Phillip read?

There's a big sign on the door that says, "Do not use this bathroom. It's broken."

How difficult is that?

I don't know. I'm sorry.

I think I'm gonna put the house on the market.

Why?

This house is too big for us.

You're going to school eventually.

It's too expensive. I'm done.

Well, why did you even buy it in the first place then?

Because I really enjoy making poor life decisions,

keeping us on the brink of poverty.

I've spent the first half of my life acquiring all this crap,

and now I'm gonna spend the second half of my life getting rid of all this stuff.

Really? Like what?

Like ‒ Well, I got rid of a couple husbands.

Now I'm gonna get rid of a mortgage, some maintenance,

the tchotchkes, the ‒ the homeowner's insurance,

the property tax, the plumbing.

You know what? From now on, I am gonna be Mommy Monk.

Simple. Celibate.

Don't be gross, Mom.

Fine.

I'll be a poor whore with a big house.

Is that better?

Okay.

Mason ‒

Mason, please, don't leave me that dirty dish to wash.

I do dishes all day.

Well, great, honey. Then you're a professional.

Come on, you could do one or two more for your poor old mom.

Okay.

Thank you.

You want one?

She didn't even touch them, seriously. I watched her the whole time.

I bet you did watch her, you little pervert.

It's like we're on a date.

Cheers.

It's a night of romance.

Yeah, except I'm not gonna kiss you.

I will blow you though.

Mason!

We are in the weeds out here.

I'm going as fast as I can.

Oh. Then I must be confused then,

'cause I just saw you chattin' it up with April

when I got a salad bar that needs a refill.

I got a six-top, two four-tops I can't use because they hadn't been bussed.

Enrique is not here. I'm trying.

Well, while you're tryin', we're dyin'!

What ‒ What am I supposed to tell my customers?

"Oh, I'm sorry that your table's got dirty plates on it, but Mason's tryin'.

At least that's what he told me

after he was flirtin' with April and eatin' your leftover shrimp."

Now, it is a challenge out there today, I know.

But I wanna share something with you.

I got you pegged for fry cook this summer,

and that's a lot more responsibility.

It's also more money. How's that sound?

Good.

I know you can handle that money, but can you take the responsibility?

I think you can, because I believe in you.

But I need you on the floor. Now, leave the dishes.

Giddyap. All right, come on. Don't let me down.

Well, so it's ‒ it's runnin' okay?

That alternator's not messin' up anymore?

No, it's fine. It's up for the trip.

Well, you gonna see your sister when you guys are in Austin?

Yeah, she said I can stay at her dorm, which is cool,

and I guess her roommate's out of town, so it's no big deal.

All right, well, did you apply there yet? Did you get that application in to UT?

- Not yet, but Sheena's pretty much in though. - Yeah, right.

Well, if you know that's where you wanna go,

you should probably do that early acceptance thing.

I mean, seriously, let 'em know you're a man who knows what he wants.

Yeah.

A little decisiveness goes a long way in this life. All right?

- Yeah. - Great.

And what about work? How's that going?

Uh, I don't know. It's all right.

Today kind of sucked. This guy didn't show up.

But it's definitely an interesting perspective on the world.

People are slobs.

Well, when people ask me about you,

I say to them, "Oh, Mason, he's doing great.

He's got a job. He's really cleaning up."

All right, hey. Hey, say hi to Annie and Cooper, will you?

Say hi to your big brother. Hey, big brother.

Hey, Annie. Hey, kiddo.

- Can you say bye-bye? - Bye-buh.

We'll see you soon.

All right, well, be careful when you're driving, all right?

Don't be texting. Don't be doing any of that.

All right. Just ‒ You're Obi-Wan.

You're centered, patient. Right?

You watch three cars ahead, two behind.

It takes two bad drivers to have an accident, okay?

- Okay. - Right.

Tell your sister to pick up her phone or call me back or something.

- Okay. - All right, buddy. You have a good one.

Bye, Dad.

Hey, honey, take this to your sister.

- Throw it in the truck, okay? - Okay, I will.

So where is Sheena staying?

At her friend Emily's.

Is Emily a real person?

Yeah. Yeah. She's a sophomore. She has an apartment.

Okay, this is in case of emergency.

- Don't spend it. I want it back. - Okay. Thanks.

Did you do your homework?

Most of it, but I can finish tomorrow night.

Honey, 11th grade is really important for college.

- Don't blow it. - I know. I know.

We're going to UT and everything.

Oh, don't you want me to come?

Come on. Sheena. Road trip with Mom. I'll pay for gas.

Um ‒

I'm just kidding. I have work.

- Call me when you get there. - I will.

Have fun.

That sounds to me like just another extreme Mason view of everything.

Not at all. I finally figured it out.

It's like when they realized it was gonna be too expensive

to actually build cyborgs and robots ‒

I mean, the costs of that were impossible.

They decided to just let humans turn themselves into robots.

That's what's going on right now.

- Oh, right now? - Yeah. I mean, why not?

There are billions of us just laying around, not really doing anything.

We don't cost anything.

I mean, we're even pretty good at self-maintenance and reproducing constantly.

And as it turns out,

we're already biologically programmed for our little cyborg upgrade.

- How? - Seriously.

I read this thing the other day

about how, like, when you hear that "ding" on your in-box,

you get, like, a dopamine rush in your brain.

It's like we're being chemically rewarded

for allowing ourselves to be brainwashed.

How evil is that? We're fucked.

So you deleting your Facebook page is gonna change all that?

Remember when Trevor deleted his Facebook page last year

and everyone just hated him?

You made more fun of him than anyone.

I still make fun of Trevor though.

But it was like he was so pathetically desperate for attention.

Or to be different or something.

That's just 'cause they did that lame story about it in the school paper.

And then he had to make a big announcement about it when he came back a month later.

That's the thing though. I'm not doing it for attention.

I just wanna try and not live my life through a screen.

I want, like, some kind of actual interaction.

A real person, not just the profile they put up.

Oh, I'm sorry. Were you saying something?

Yeah, okay, I know you're joking.

But it's kind of true. You have been checking your phone this whole time.

So what are you really doing?

You don't care what your friends are up to on Saturday afternoon,

but you're also obviously not fully experiencing my profound bitching.

So ‒ it's like everyone's just stuck in, like, an in-between state,

not really experiencing anything.

It's not an experience. It's just information.

Look, for example,

I just got the address of the club where we're meeting them later

so we won't be wandering the streets of Austin lost for an hour tonight.

Thank you very much, Facebook.

And I just texted my mom back.

Oh, that's ‒ that's groundbreaking.

She hasn't seen you in, like, 55 minutes.

Oh. Oh, my God.

Most importantly, Meg's family just got a miniature pet pig.

Huh.

Okay, you're right.

- That is a ‒ - Right?

That is a really cute, tiny pig.

Our lives can go on.

I want one.

Nice shot.

Yeah, just give the lady at the front y'all's ID's

and, uh, she should let you in.

- It's room 206, right? - Mm-hmm. Right.

- It's not, like, weird that we're staying there? - No, it's fine.

- Have fun. - Thank you.

How long have you guys been dating?

- About three months. - Cool.

Yeah, we met at a party, and it's been, you know, chill.

- Yeah, he seems cool. - Yeah. He is.

- Does he go to UT too? - Yeah.

Cool. What is he studying?

He's studying history and, uh, Italian?

I think. His minor, yeah.

- Does he wanna ‒ Does he wanna teach? - I don't know.

I think ‒ I think he's still figuring stuff out.

Yeah, he'll figure it out. He's smart. Yeah, he's smart.

So, where are you thinking about living when you come here?

Um, I'm not really sure yet.

We're gonna look at apartments tomorrow.

Um, but I know my parents sort of were expecting me to live in a dorm.

Yeah. But, I mean, I'm paying my way through college

so it doesn't really matter that much.

Yeah, you don't have to listen to your parents after you turn 18.

I mean, especially if they're not helping you financially.

That's what I figured, yeah.

- But, I mean, living in a dorm isn't so bad. - Yeah.

- I mean, especially if it's a coed dorm. - Yeah.

I mean, I've never been around, like, so many cute guys at once.

Like, college is really fun.

- I'm excited. - It's great, yeah.

- Watch out. - Oh.

♪ On the day that I was born, I started growin' old ♪

♪ No one told me life would be so lonesome and cold ♪

♪ I had a gray hair by the age of 23 ♪

♪ This hard-luck living's gonna be the end of me ♪

♪ The old black crow leaving tracks all across my face ♪

♪ And everywhere I go I seem to be in the same damn place ♪

♪ This heartland is gonna be the end of me ♪

The last death at the Hoover Dam construction site

was his son, Patrick Tierney,

who died on December 20, 1935,

exactly 13 years to the day.

See those sorority girls over there?

I've just decided

if you delete your Facebook page, I'm pledging.

Yeah, in just a few years that's you

and that's gonna be me.

...inlaid into the terrazzo floors was a star map ‒

a celestial map of heavenly bodies so accurately displayed

that one could chart the procession of the Pole Star

14,000 years into the future,

such that future generations upon ‒

I wonder what his deal is.

I mean, he obviously has money to eat here.

He just said. He's a UT professor, tenure and everything.

Look at all these people.

What are they even doing here at 3:00 in the morning?

What are we even doing here at 3:00 in the morning?

We know what we're doing here. Queso. We have a purpose.

Hell, yeah.

Hell, yeah.

You know, by, like, next summer this'll just be our lives.

Mm-hmm.

Staying out all night and going to shows ‒

whatever we want.

We ever gonna go to class?

Sometimes.

When it feels right. When the inspiration hits.

Only then.

Anything else?

- Uh ‒ More queso? - Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Ah, Jesus.

What?

I don't know. Doesn't it all seem a little overwhelming?

I mean, college.

I mean, I like the idea of being away from home

and gaining skills and getting better at photography.

I just ‒ I don't know.

I'm not counting on it being some big transformative experience.

I don't think it's that transformative.

I just see it as the next step.

But it's like a preordained slot

that's already got your name and number on it.

I don't think it's the key to my future.

'Cause ‒ I mean, look at my mom.

She got her degree and got a pretty good job.

She can pay her bills.

Well, I like your mom.

Well, I like my mom too. I just mean ‒

Basically, she's still just as fucking confused as I am.

- Thank you. - Thanks.

- Hello? - Hey.

Um, did, uh ‒ did Sam tell you we were gonna stay here?

- No. - Sorry.

Um, she, uh ‒ she said you were out of town for the weekend.

Yeah, I was. I just got back.

Are you her brother?

Yeah. I'm ‒ I'm Mason.

Um, this is Sheena.

Hello.

Uh, great. All right.

I'm gonna leave my stuff here, if it's okay, and get something to eat.

- I'll just come back in a little bit. - Yeah, yeah.

We have to ‒ We have to get out of here soon anyway, so ‒

All right. It's nice meeting you.

- Yeah. You too. - Sorry.

Oh, my God.

- That was so awkward. - I know.

Mason. Silver medal winner.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

- Heard you got a scholarship. - Yeah.

Yeah, every little bit helps, you know.

- Yeah. When you gonna go out there? - End of the summer, I think.

You know, work some more before then,

try to save up some money, at least.

- Yeah, before you have to fend for yourself. - Yeah.

- Yeah, that's the idea. - Yeah.

Well, how are you feeling about it?

Excited, you know. But kind of half excited, half terrified.

- Yeah, kind of that voluptuous panic. - Yeah. Exactly.

Well, it's gonna be good. It's gonna be crazy good.

I liked college a lot better than high school.

You kind of find your people in college, you know?

- Exactly. - Yeah.

Well, you'll be fine. You got a good heart.

Just follow your heart. Yeah?

- Thanks. - Good luck.

Don't forget to floss.

I just don't get why you're being so fucking childish.

I'm not being childish.

You're the one who made it into this big thing by telling everyone.

I haven't told anyone.

So Cynthia just magically knows you're going to the prom with this loser

even though you're not dating him anymore?

She's my best friend.

Well, your best friend has a big fucking mouth.

Well, take it up with her then.

Why don't you just tell Miss Fuckin' Rubber Jaws she can keep on talking

as long as she includes the truth,

which is that we wouldn't be having this conversation

if your college boyfriend weren't out of town this weekend.

You had already bought the tickets. It's just prom. It's not like it matters.

I'm just trying to be friends with you.

Oh, it's just humiliating. I can't ‒ I can't do that.

Mr. I-Don't-Care-What- Anyone-Else-Thinks-Of-Me.

Fuck anyone else. I care what I think of me,

which isn't much right now.

King of the pity prom.

Fine. We're not going.

Great.

Why are we even ‒

I mean, we both knew this was coming.

I'm just the one who did something about it.

Yeah, fucking some college guy.

Oh, fuck you.

I don't regret anything.

Of course you don't.

You know, it's actually kind of a relief

not to have to be around someone who's so gloomy all the time.

The world's not so horrible.

Not everything's some big conspiracy against humanity.

It's great that you can think that way.

You know, I'm sure dating a jock really helps to clear the mind.

He's not a jock, okay? He just happens to be on the lacrosse team.

We're all going to other schools next year anyway.

So it's not some super serious relationship.

Great. I feel so much better now.

We're just having fun.

I bet he's having fun.

Grow up, Mason.

It's not like I haven't been with anyone else.

Who?

What do you care?

Who?

Does it matter?

You're the one who brought it up.

This is pointless.

Now you're just trying to be an asshole.

Holy crap. I would rather have my balls clawed off

than ever sit through anything like that ever again.

Well, we never, ever have to.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

- Give me that. - Dude, it's all you.

Drink up.

So you coming out with me tonight, brother?

Should be some pretty awesome stuff happening.

Nah, dude. I'm going to this, like, show with my dad in Austin.

His friend's playing.

God, have fun with that, I guess.

Fuck, there's so many cars here. I don't wanna go in there.

Dude, you will have so much fun.

Your family loves you.

You're gonna have a swell time.

Fuck you. You're coming in with me.

- Oh, no. Shit, no. - Yes.

Yes, you are. My mom loves you. You have to say hi.

Just ‒

- Do you wanna hurt her feelings? - Mm-mmm.

Well, then let's ‒ let's go get 'em.

Just for a second. Just a second, seriously.

You know, you're in sort of ‒ you're in enemy territory here.

We're aware.

Oh. Look who's here.

Whoo!

Hey!

Get a job!

No, no, no, no, wait. We're gonna take pictures. Put it back on.

My hug.

- Hey, can you get a camera? - I have it.

I don't know you. But congratulations.

All right. Look here.

- Smile. - Here we go.

Oh, that's a good one.

And ‒ Good. Got it.

Oh, we need ‒ Sam, where are you?

- Samantha! - Sam.

Where's Mason Sr.?

I'm feeling generous. Come here.

Great. And ‒

Beautiful.

I'll e-mail these to everyone.

- Whoo! - Don't even start. Don't start. Don't start.

Can't believe you guys came all this way. It means a lot to me.

Mmm. We wouldn't have missed it for anything.

I'm so proud of you.

Congratulations.

I'm really sorry that Lee couldn't be here.

- He's on his senior trip. - No, no, no.

- Tell him I said hi. - I will.

Abby, I didn't even recognize you. How old are you now?

- I'm 13. - Wow.

Everybody just died laughing!

All right, let's top her off.

You want some, doll?

Um, sure. Whatever.

- Yeah. Absolutely. - I got you something.

- What is it? - That is a savings bond.

That is worth something. It's better than money. You just spend that.

God. Is that your mom?

- Yeah, yeah. That's her. - Wow.

It'll be ‒ Three-second rule. Put it on your plate.

- Such a great dad. - I know. I'm trying to help.

Come here, you guys. I wanna make a little toast to Mason.

- Whoo! Yeah! - All right!

Now, Mason, I know you didn't really wanna have a party today,

but... we did.

And you only graduate high school once in your life.

So I wanna celebrate you and this next phase.

And you're gonna learn so much in college.

You're gonna have so much fun. You're gonna have inspiring teachers.

You're gonna learn more about your art.

I love you, babe. So proud of you.

- To Mason. - To Mason!

Hear! Hear!

- To Mason. - Hear! Hear!

All right, you're up, kid.

Oh, uh ‒ All right, uh ‒

Well, Mason, I'll make a toast to the future.

To your future.

It's been a little sketchy, this end of the school year here,

trying to figure out what school to go to.

Mason told me that, uh, he wanted

to get as far away from home as possible

but still honor our agreement

that we pay in-state tuition, which I do appreciate.

He's a prudent man, and he's gonna have a great future.

So here's to you, buddy.

- Whoo! - Future!

- Hear! Hear! - Congratulations.

Mason Jr.

High school graduate, 18 and straight.

Just ignore him. My brother needs to learn to pace himself.

Well, I've not known you as long as everybody here.

But, uh ‒ uh, since I have known you, uh, you've grown a lot.

And, uh, I-I ‒ I don't know ‒ I'm proud of you.

So if this photography thing doesn't work out,

you know you always got a job.

Lose that earring.

But, uh, you know, maybe I can get you in front of house.

All right. To you, buddy.

- Sam, say something. - Come on, Sam.

- Um ‒ - Come on, darlin'.

Good luck.

Yeah, Mason!

Congratulations.

Aw!

So, you broke up with your girlfriend?

Yeah. Yeah, just recently.

- What was her name? - Sheena.

Sheena.

She's gonna go to college with you?

- No. - No.

- No. - She's staying in this part of Texas.

Oh, okay. You need a ride to college?

Oh!

I just wanted to say hello before you got out of here. I haven't gotten a chance.

You guys met before, haven't you? Annie and Jen?

- Yeah, yeah, we met at, uh, Sam's graduation. - Oh, yeah.

And with your little one. Where is he?

- Oh, he's at home. - Yeah, yeah.

Remember, he was such a pain at Sam's thing that, you know ‒

Oh, I would love to see him.

Well, we have a special weekend this weekend, so ‒

I'm so glad you found her. I really am.

You ‒ You've got him at a good time, I think.

- I think so too. - Yeah.

- It's good to see you too. - Nice to see you too, Jen.

- I'm so proud of your boy. - Yeah. Yeah, we all are.

- If you think she's a bitch now, you should have seen her ‒

You got to remember, you're going to college, though, all right?

And if you're anything like me or your old man,

you're gonna be pulling down some serious wool.

- You're gonna be tapping some masterful gap. - Steven.

You're gonna be doing some good work out there.

Think about it. An awful lot of flowers in that bouquet.

But you got to do me a favor.

You're gonna be vulnerable this summer, all right?

Remember to use protection during breakup sex.

This guy knows exactly of which I speak.

- Look what happened to him. Voilà. - Steven.

Cheers.

It ‒ It's not that simple.

Four more years.

Four more years.

I'm just saying.

Do y'all recycle?

- Should I ‒ - I have one started there.

Oh, yeah, right. Okay.

Am I, uh ‒ Am I your only ex at this party?

Yes. I'm not your only wife here though.

Yeah.

Can you believe they're both out of high school?

No.

No, I can't.

You did a great job with both of them, by the way.

Thanks for saying that.

I never thought I'd hear you say that.

Well, it's true. Thank you.

You're doing it all over again, huh?

I know. I know, right?

It's gonna be, uh, 15 years till I have an empty nest.

Hmm.

But hey, I'd love to pitch in, help with this, if I could.

It's so great that you did this.

Can I just give you a little ‒

- I'd appreciate it if I could ‒ - Sure. Yeah.

Yeah. But I don't have any cash.

No, it's in Annie's purse. I'll be right back.

So it sucks. I mean, the guy's a college lacrosse player.

- I mean, what are you gonna do? - She didn't even like sports.

- You want a beer? - No, that's all right.

- You can have one. - It's all right.

Yeah, well, for what it's worth,

we've all been through the exact same thing at one point or another.

It's not the same though.

- I mean, you never got to know her. - No, I know.

It's not the same.

I just don't know what I did wrong.

Hey, Jimmy. Hey, man. Hey.

Hey, Mason.

We're up here, uh, raiding the green room. Hope that's okay.

- That's totally cool. - All right.

Wow. Is that M.J.?

Uh-huh. Right?

Unbelievable.

Well, we just decided to come a little early, check you out.

That's cool, man. Let me finish up. I'll be up in a minute.

All right. All right. I guarantee you, you didn't do anything wrong.

These high school love things, they never work out.

Here, come here.

I mean, everybody's just changing so much, you know?

The odds of two young people staying on the same wavelength are ‒

- Yeah, but still ‒ - Look, and I also guarantee you

that every day of your life that you spend crying over some silly girl

is a complete waste of time.

She wasn't a silly girl though.

I mean, she's a serious person.

I really thought we were ‒

- What? - I don't know.

Here's the truth.

Women are never satisfied. Okay?

They're always looking to potentially trade up,

and that's, I'm sorry to say,

what I think has happened to you, my fine-feathered friend.

What does that even mean?

It means don't hand over the controls to your self-esteem to Sheila.

- Sheena. - All right, it means you are responsible for you,

not your girlfriend, not your mom, not me.

You. And if you truly take care of you,

you will be amazed at how much girls like Sheena

start lining up at your front door.

Great.

Yeah, you know, you just gotta separate yourself from the pack in some way.

Excel at something, you know,

and then you have your pick of the litter

when them front-running hussies start sniffing around.

So what you're saying is I should take up lacrosse.

Exactly. Or you could, you know, start a band.

Worked for me a long time ago.

I think it's still working for Jimmy.

Or you just keep taking pictures.

She hated the pictures I took of her.

All right. I'm sick to death of her, okay?

I only met her a few times. And, yes, she was cute, all right?

But truth be told, I always thought she was a little bit ‒

you know, a little bit too square for you.

You know, not quite the same vibe.

- You really thought that? - On some subtle, lower level.

I mean, uh,

I wasn't surprised when it turned out

she was interested in some knucklehead lacrosse player, okay?

I mean, the bottom line is

it's all timing with these things.

Yeah.

I mean, uh, take your mom and me.

I think I've probably turned into the boring castrated guy

she wanted me to be 15, 20 years ago, you know?

I'm not saying she was wrong to be pissed. I'm not.

I'm just saying that she could've been a little more patient,

a little more forgiving.

Would've saved me that parade of drunken assholes.

So what's the point?

Of what?

I don't know. Any of this. Everything.

Everything?

What's the point? I mean, I sure as shit don't know.

Neither does anybody else, okay?

We're all just... winging it, you know?

The good news is you're feeling stuff.

You know? And you got to hold on to that.

You do. I mean, you get older and you don't feel as much.

Your skin gets tougher.

The point is those pictures you took ‒

thousands of submissions from all over the state, and you won.

Well, I got silver.

- And nine other people did too. - I'm gonna kill you.

I'm trying to tell you that I believe in you, Mason. I think you're really special.

And if some girl doesn't see that, then fuck her, you know?

Hey, this next one goes out to a young man in the house.

- Whoo-hoo! - Known him since he was just a small boy.

Now he's all graduated from high school and making me feel old.

Happy high school graduation, Mason.

Thank you.

Okay, guys, let's be clear.

I'm gonna break this into four categories.

One ‒ anything you wanna keep from your childhood and you're taking with you.

Two ‒ throwing away.

Three ‒ donating.

Four ‒ whatever you wanna try to sell at the garage sale next weekend.

Whatever we don't sell, we're donating.

Doesn't the apartment have, like, an attic or storage or something?

No. You're missing the point.

We're not gonna drag a bunch of crap to Mom's tiny apartment.

Can't believe we're moving again.

No, I'm moving. You moved two years ago.

You have an apartment in Austin.

Mason is moving in the fall.

I'm done.

This will be great for me. I'll have all these options.

I can take a sabbatical.

I can get some writing done, try to get published.

What about Christmas though? What are we gonna do?

I'm not sharing a room with him.

One of you will sleep on the couch,

and we'll use that blow-up mattress.

How am I supposed to do my laundry?

Sam, I'm gently pushing you out of the nest.

And on your way down,

you may magically find some quarters

that you use to do laundry in your own apartment.

Come on, you guys are adults.

You need to take some responsibility.

Now, what do you want?

I'm gonna get the veggie burger.

I'm not having anything. I'm not hungry.

What's wrong with you?

I'm sick.

What is it, your head? Do you have a fever?

She's pregnant.

No. To be honest, I drank way too much last night.

- You weren't driving, were you? - No. No.

Carrie's back home, too, and we just hung out.

You know, peach Smirnoffs, they just go down so easy.

No, no. Hey. That's not an excuse.

You could still pack boxes.

These people wanna move in as soon as possible.

Hi, guys. I'm Ernesto. How are you?

Uh, you probably don't remember me,

but I worked on your septic line years ago.

Oh, yeah.

Believe it or not, you changed my life.

You told me that day that I was smart and that I should go to school.

I took your advice.

I signed up for English classes,

and then a year later I went to community college, and I got my associate's degree.

I'm working on my bachelor's now at Texas State

and also one of the managers here.

That's great.

Uh, it's good to see you.

Because I really wanted a chance to-to thank you for that. Gracias.

It really meant a lot to me.

Don't worry about lunch.

- It's on me. It's the least I can do. - Thanks.

You guys should listen to her. She's a smart lady.

Thank you.

Isn't that kind of crazy, though,

that a computer knows who you are from just 20 questions off a form?

I guess there are really only, like, eight types of people in the world.

I mean, there are subsets, like male and female,

but apparently we're not as unique as we wanna think we are.

Have you even talked to this guy yet?

No, but we've been trading e-mails.

He seems pretty cool.

He's studying literature and anthropology.

And he's way into Bright Eyes, so that's not so bad.

But anyways, he was telling me

about how the system they use for assigning roommates

is kind of spooky.

Like, the freshman satisfaction rate for new roommates

used to be, like, 60%.

And now it's a hundred... just 'cause of the computer.

Well, sounds like he'll be a good roommate then.

Yeah.

But we've pretty much decided that soon they won't even need a questionnaire

'cause they'll just let the NSA scan your digital ghost,

and they'll tell you who your roommate is

based on everything you've ever said, written or clicked.

Did you ‒ Did you put this in here again?

I don't want it.

Come on, it's the first picture you ever took.

Well, I mean, all the more reason to leave it behind, right?

- What? - Nothing.

No, what is it?

Nothing.

Mom.

This is the worst day of my life.

- What are you talking about? - I knew this day was coming.

I didn't know you were gonna be so fucking happy to be leaving.

I mean, it's not that I'm that happy.

What do you ‒ What do you expect?

You know what I'm realizing? My life is just gonna go ‒ like that.

This series of milestones.

Getting married, having kids, getting divorced.

The time that we thought you were dyslexic.

When I taught you how to ride a bike.

Getting divorced again.

Getting my master's degree.

Finally getting the job I wanted.

Sending Samantha off to college. Sending you off to college.

You know what's next? Huh?

It's my fucking funeral.

Just go, and leave my picture!

Aren't you jumping ahead by, like, 40 years or something?

I just thought there would be more.

♪ Let me go ♪

♪ I don't wanna be your hero ♪

♪ I don't wanna be a big man ♪

♪ Just wanna fight with everyone else ♪

♪ Your masquerade ♪

♪ I don't wanna be a part of your parade ♪

♪ Everyone deserves a chance to ♪

♪ Walk with everyone else ♪

♪ While holding down ♪

♪ A job to keep my girl around ♪

♪ And maybe buy me some new strings ♪

♪ And her and I out on the weekends ♪

♪ And we can whisper things ♪

♪ Secrets from our American dreams ♪

♪ Baby needs some protection ♪

♪ But I'm a kid like everyone else ♪

♪ So let me go ♪

♪ I don't wanna be your hero ♪

♪ I don't wanna be a big man ♪

♪ I just wanna fight like everyone else ♪♪

Hey, you must be Mason.

Yeah. Dalton, right?

- Yeah, man, it's nice to finally meet you. - Definitely.

- Uh, you cool with this side of the room? - Yeah.

Got in this morning. Just moved my shit in, man.

- Well, yeah. I don't ‒ I don't care. No worries. - Cool.

Can I help you with anything, man? Any bags?

I just got, like, one box left. I packed pretty light.

- But I appreciate it. - My pleasure, man. Of course.

Um, are you going to the orientation mixer thing?

Orientation mixer thing? Fuck no, man.

I'm not going to that, and neither are you, by the way.

- We got way better stuff to be doing. - All right.

- You ready? - Yeah.

Hey, Barb, this is my roommate, Mason. Mason, Barb.

- Hi. - Hey.

- You comin' with us? - Where are you going?

- Hiking. - Yeah, man, you should come.

If we leave now, we can catch the late afternoon at Big Bend.

- You ever been before, man? - Yeah, but not since I was really little.

Oh, well, then all the more reason to come now, man.

That's why we're here, dude.

Oh, Mason. This is Nicole, Barb's roommate.

Hey, what's up?

Hi.

Mason, Nicole.

- So, you game? - Sure.

Here. Have the rest of this.

Got it timed perfectly.

It'll kick in when we get to the mountains.

- Awesome. - Let's go.

Do they let you major in that here?

Well, it's not that serious here,

so I kind of, like, train outside of the university,

but I'm taking all my basics like History of Dance and all that.

- Nice. - Yeah.

- What do you teach? - Oh, gosh.

- Uh, ballet, tap, jazz, lyrical, hip-hop. - Wow.

Which one's your favorite?

- Tap. - Yeah?

Yeah. You get to, like, make up all your own sounds, and there's no rules.

And just, like, creative freedom.

- That's great. - Yeah.

That's why I love teaching it

'cause it's so beautiful to me

and it's kind of dying away in this generation,

so to be a part of, like, bringing it back to the kids ‒

- Right. - it's really rewarding.

- Yeah. - How old are they?

- Six to eight. - Wow.

Yeah. They have, like, no fear,

and they're not self-conscious at all.

They haven't reached the awkward years yet.

Yeah, not yet. It's coming.

- Hey. - Hey.

Dalton can be crazy sometimes.

- He seems cool though. - Yeah.

Yeah, they're both really cool.

How are you feeling?

Great.

Really great, to be honest.

Good.

I'm really happy that you're hangin' out with us.

Yeah.

Me too.

This moment's having a multiple orgasm.

It-It's as if all of time has unfolded before us

so we could stand here and look out and scream, "Fuck yeah!"

Whoo!

You know how everyone's always saying, "Seize the moment"?

I don't know. I'm kind of thinking it's the other way around.

You know, like, the moment seizes us.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know. It's ‒

It's constant, the moments.

It's just ‒

It's like it's always right now, you know?

Yeah.

♪ Here ♪

♪ In my place and time ♪

♪ And here in my own skin ♪

♪ I can finally begin ♪

♪ Let the century pass me by ♪

♪ Standing under a night sky ♪

♪ Tomorrow means nothing ♪

♪ Was only a child then ♪

♪ Feeling barely alive when ♪

♪ Heard a song from a speaker of a passing car ♪

♪ And prayed to a dying star ♪

♪ The memory's fading ♪

♪ I can almost remember singing ♪

♪ La, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪

♪ La, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪

♪ Ooh-whoo ♪

♪ We ♪

♪ Watched the end of the century ♪

♪ Compressed on a tiny screen ♪

♪ A dead star collapsing and we could see ♪

♪ That something was ending ♪

♪ Are you through pretending ♪

♪ We saw the signs in the suburbs? ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Could never predict it ♪

♪ That it could see through you ♪

♪ Kasparov, Deep Blue, 1996 ♪

♪ Your mind's playing tricks now ♪

♪ Show is over, so take a bow ♪

♪ We're living in the shadows ♪

♪ La, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪

♪ Oh, la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪

♪ Ooh-whoo ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Put the cell phone down for a while ♪

♪ In the night there is something wild ♪

♪ Can you hear it breathing? ♪

♪ And hey ♪

♪ Put the laptop down for a while ♪

♪ In the night there is something wild ♪

♪ I feel it It's leaving me ♪

♪ La, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪

♪ La, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪

♪ La, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪

♪ La, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪♪

♪ Summer noon I can always stay ♪

♪ To radiate what the cello can't play ♪

♪ She spoke to me and provoked my band ♪

♪ And I broke in two in the heat of her hand ♪

♪ Like a lioness or a coyote ♪

♪ At a pink beating heart in the balcony ♪

♪ I followed the finger to the creature's gate ♪

♪ In the hubbub where the pitiful congregate ♪

♪ I thought there was a note that I could not hear ♪

♪ So I floated to the whisper up against my ear ♪

♪ Afterwards, I found my place in the trash ♪

♪ Really at the core of it, it wasn't so bad ♪

♪ Never leave your mother's womb ♪

♪ Unless you wanna see how hard a broken heart can swoon ♪

♪ Unless you wanna see how hard a broken heart can swoon ♪♪