All language subtitles for A.Kiss.At.Midnight.2008.en

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[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

Carla: BIG SMILE.

[ CAMERA CLICKING ]

OH, THAT'S SO GOOD.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ CAMERA CLICKING ]

I'M GONNA PUT IT
ON THE BOARD RIGHT HERE.

[ CAMERA CLICKS ]

[ SMOOCHES ]

[ BRAKES SQUEAL ]

Woman:
AT THE CRAFT STORE!

HEY.

I GOT ALMOST EVERYTHING
ON MY LIST.

THE CROWDS AT THE STORES
WERE UNBELIEVABLE.

WELL, I TOLD YOU
IF YOU WAIT UNTIL THE AFTERNOON

OF NEW YEAR'S EVE
TO DO YOUR SHOPPING,

IT WAS GONNA BE
LIKE THAT.

CARLA?
YEAH, BOSS?

WHAT DO YOU THINK
I WANT FROM YOU RIGHT NOW?

THE HEAD COUNT
FOR THE PARTY.

AH, YOU NEVER
CEASE TO AMAZE ME.

OOH! ME TOO.
[ CHUCKLES ]

ARE YOU SURE YOU AND MAC
DON'T WANT TO COME OVER?

OH, NO, THANKS.

WE'RE GONNA DO
WHAT WE DO EVERY YEAR --

OPEN A COUPLE OF WINE COOLERS,
WAIT FOR THE BALL TO DROP,

AND THEN FALL ASLEEP
AT A QUARTER TO MIDNIGHT.

WELL, YOU BETTER GO EARLY. YOU
DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR THAT.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

SAME TO YOU.

[ DIALING ]

[ Telephone rings ]

Maureen:
HEY, SUSAN.

Hey. Are you gonna be able
to get off early?

NEVER FEAR, MY FRIEND.

I'VE GOT THE REST OF MY SHIFT
TAKEN CARE OF.

I WILL BE AT YOUR PLACE
WITH TIME TO COOK,

GET READY,
AND TIME TO SPARE.

YES!

DO YOU NEED ME TO PICK
ANYTHING ELSE UP FROM THE STORE?

No. Got it covered.

OOH. SISTER MAUREEN,
YOU ARE A GODSEND.

THAT NEVER GETS OLD,
SUSAN.

[ Laughing ]
I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

Perfect. Love you.

I LOVE YOU MORE.
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

SISTER MAUREEN,
DON'T YOU THINK

THAT OUTFIT'S A LITTLE
INAPPROPRIATE FOR A SISTER?

IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE.

COME ON. YOU GOT TO
LET YOUR HAIR DOWN SOMETIME.

SEE YOU LOVELY LADIES
LATER!

Woman:
HAPPY NEW YEAR! BYE!

[ SIGHS ]

HMM.

"SUSAN'S HEART HINTS."

"MY LAST HINT FOR THIS YEAR --

"BE REAL AND BE REALISTIC.

YOUR PRINCE CHARMING MIGHT
JUST BE DISGUISED AS A FROG."

[ LAUGHS ]

[ BEEP ]

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

Woman: ROMANCE-4-YOU.com.
CAN I HELP YOU?

I'LL BE DONE
IN JUST A SEC, GIRLS.

OKAY.
COOL.

DONE. FINISHED. FINITO.

LAST PAGE OF WORK
FOR THIS YEAR.

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

[ IMITATES CROWD NOISES ]

LET'S GO TO THE MARKET
AND GET SOME JUNK FOOD.

DAD, I REALLY THINK
YOU SHOULD BE GOING OUT TONIGHT.

YEAH, TO SOME
AWESOME PARTY.

NO WAY, DUDETTES.

I'M GONNA BE SPENDING
MY NEW YEAR'S EVE

WITH MY TWO FAVORITE GIRLS.

THAT'S VERY FLATTERING,
BUT YOU NEED ADULT COMPANY.

INTERPERSONAL ATTACHMENTS
ARE KEY TO A HEALTHY PSYCHE.

YOU ARE SUCH A FREAK.

SWEETHEART.

YOU RUN ONE OF
THE MOST SUCCESSFUL

ONLINE DATING SERVICES,

AND YOU CAN'T USE
YOUR MATCHMAKING SKILLS

TO GET YOURSELFA DATE?

I'M NOT A MATCHMAKER.

I'M SIMPLY A GUY THAT KNOWS
HOW TO WORK WITH COMPUTERS.

AND, NO,
I DO NOT NEED A DATE,

BECAUSE I HAVE
THE BOTH OF YOU TWO.

COME ON. LET'S GO GET
SOME PARTY HATS AND CHIP DIP.

[ UP-TEMPO JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ]

[ LAUGHS ]

Susan:
THIS IS DELICIOUS!

YOU HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF,
SISTER MAUREEN.

THANK YOU. I SHOULD HAVE
MADE MORE, THOUGH.

YOUR GUESTS HAVE
VERY HEALTHY APPETITES.

MUST BE LOVE.

MISS FLOWERS! LOOK!
[ SQUEALS ]

OHH!
CONGRATULATIONS!

WAY TO GO.

AND IT'S
ALL THANKS TO YOU.

SHE'S THE BEST,
ISN'T SHE?

OH, WE'D NEVER
HAVE FOUND EACH OTHER

IF IT WEREN'T
FOR MISS FLOWERS.

AWW, YOU'RE MUCH TOO KIND.
I'M JUST DOING MY JOB.

COME ON, DARLING. WE HAVE TO
GET READY FOR MIDNIGHT.

ANOTHER PAIR
OF SATISFIED CUSTOMERS.

YEAH.
ONE MORE HAPPY COUPLE.

[ UP-TEMPO JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ]

Cassie:
JENNIFER, HURRY!

DAD, HURRY UP!

IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT!

I'M COMING.
OKAY, OKAY, I'M COMING.

SAY SOMETHING
TO THE CAMERA.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

NOT YET.

WE'LL DO ANOTHER TAKE
WHEN THE BALL DROPS.

WHATEVER YOU SAY,
MISS SPIELBERG.
[ LAUGHS ]

Woman: IT'S TIME
FOR THE COUNTDOWN...
IT'S STARTING!

OKAY.

TAKE IT AWAY, RICH!
Rich:
HERE WE GO --

All:
10, 9, 8, 7, 6...

All:
...5, 4...

I HAVE A RESOLUTION.

...2, 1!

WHAT IS IT?

[ ALL CHEERING ]

[ NOISEMAKERS BLOWING ]

WHAT?!

I'LL TELL YOU LATER.

HANG ON. I'M --

HEY! THANK YOU!

UH --

Woman:
HERE WE GO!

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

All:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

WHOO-HOO!

[ LAUGHTER ]

HAPPY -- MWAH! --
NEW -- MWAH! -- YEAR.

[ LAUGHS ]
HAPPY NEW YEAR, DAD.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

WE'LL GO SEE
THOSE FIREWORKS NEXT YEAR.

YES.
WHOO-HOO!

Maureen: I'VE NEVER SEEN A PARTY
CLEAR OUT SO FAST.

OH, MY COUPLES COULDN'T WAIT TO
LEAVE AND CELEBRATE PRIVATELY.

YOU ARE VERY GOOD
AT WHAT YOU DO.

TRUE.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

SO, WHAT'S THAT
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION?

OH, NOTHING.
IT WAS SILLY.

I'M SO GLAD
YOU COULD MAKE IT TONIGHT.

YOU SOUNDED DESPERATE FOR HELP
ON THE PHONE.

SISTER EMMA WAS FREE TO TAKE
MY SHIFT, SO IT ALL WORKED OUT.

I FEEL A LITTLE GUILTY
ABOUT TAKING YOU AWAY
FROM THE HOSPITAL.

YOU REALLY THINK
YOU GOT AWAY WITH IT, DON'T YOU?

WITH WHAT?

CHANGING THE SUBJECT,
YOUR LITTLE DIVERSION.

I WASN'T BORN YESTERDAY,
MY FRIEND.

COME ON, OUT WITH IT. WHAT'S
YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION?

IT'S NOTHING. IT'S
JUST SOMETHING I'VE
BEEN THINKING ABOUT.

YEAH?

YOU KNOW, SEEING
ALL MY COUPLES HERE TOGETHER

AND...
TURNING 40 THIS YEAR.

COME ON!
SPIT IT OUT!

I CAN'T.
I WROTE IT DOWN.

HAND IT OVER.
THERE WE GO.

"BY NEXT NEW YEAR'S EVE,
I, SUSAN FLOWERS,

WILL HAVE FOUND THE PERFECT MAN
AND WILL KISS AT MIDNIGHT."

[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAY]

[ SNORING ]

[ BOTH GIGGLING ]

WHY ARE YOU GUYS
STILL UP?

WE COULD ASK YOU
THE SAME THING.

I'M WATCHING "WHEN SCORPIONS
RULED THE EARTH."

THAT IS SO LAME, DAD.

[ CHUCKLES ]
NO, IT'S QUITE EXCITING.

SHE'S NOT REFERRING
TO THE MOVIE.

ALTHOUGH I WOULD HAVE CHOSEN
A BETTER WORD.

"PATHETIC"
MIGHT FIT THE BILL.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
TALKING ABOUT?

YOU, SITTING HERE
ALL BY YOURSELF

ON THE MOST AMAZING
PARTY NIGHT OF THE YEAR.

TRUST ME.
IT IS OVERRATED.

I BET YOU AND MOM
USED TO GO OUT TO CELEBRATE

AT STUPENDOUS
NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTIES.

WELL, THAT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO.

I REMEMBER ONE TIME
I SNUCK OUT OF BED

TO WATCH YOU GUYS LEAVE.

MOM WAS WEARING
THIS SILVER, GLITTERY DRESS.

AH HA HA!

I KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE UP TO,
AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA FOOL ME.

YOU'RE LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE
SO YOU CAN STAY UP LATE,

AND YOU CAN'T FIND ONE.

DAD!
DAD!

"DAD"!
COME ON, BACK TO BED.

BUT THIS ONLY HAPPENS
ONCE A YEAR. WE CAN
SLEEP IN TOMORROW.

HAPPY NEW YEAR,
JENNIFER.

I LOVE YOU.

HAPPY NEW YEAR,
CASSIE.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

NOW GET LOST.

GO ON, OFF TO BED.
GO.

OKAY.
GOOD NIGHT, DAD.

GOOD NIGHT.
NIGHT.

THANKS FOR HELPING ME
CLEAN UP.

MWAH!
MWAH!

I LOVE YOU.
DRIVE CAREFULLY.

ALL RIGHT,
SLEEP TIGHT.

[ LOCK ENGAGES ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

[ DOOR CREAKS ]

IT'S OKAY.
JUST ME.

BAD DREAM?

I THOUGHT IT WAS DAD.

NO, HE FELL ASLEEP DOWNSTAIRS
WITH THE TV ON.

LIKE HE DOES
EVERY NIGHT.

SO, WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO ABOUT HIM?

YOU HAVE TO BE
MORE SPECIFIC.

HE HAS NO SOCIAL LIFE.

YOU HAVE A POINT.

SO, HE'LL NEVER
MEET ANYONE.

A LOGICAL CONCLUSION.

I'D LIKE FOR DAD
TO BE HAPPY AGAIN,

THE WAY HE WAS
WHEN MOM WAS ALIVE.

I DON'T REMEMBER
BACK THAT FAR.

AND I WOULDN'T MIND
HAVING A WOMAN TO TALK TO.

PERSONALLY, I CAN GET ALONG
QUITE WELL WITHOUT FEMALE INPUT.

THAT'S BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU
USE ALL THOSE GINORMOUS WORDS,

YOU'RE STILL A CHILD.

YOU HAVEN'T GOT...

ISSUES THAT YOU NEED
TO DISCUSS WITH A FEMALE.

BUT I DO.

SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
IS THAT WE HAVE TO FIND DAD

AN APPROPRIATE
FEMALE COMPANION --

SOMEONE WHO WILL BE
A GOOD PARTNER FOR HIM

AND A SUITABLE MENTOR
FOR YOU.

THAT'S EXACTLYWHAT I'M SAYING,
ONLY IN ENGLISH.

I'LL GO ONLINE AND RESEARCH
THE SUBJECT IN THE MORNING.

NOW GO BACK TO BED.

CAN I STAY HERE?

AS LONG
AS YOU DON'T SNORE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

IT'S NOT FAIR.

WHAT'S NOT FAIR?

THAT YOU HAVE MEMORIES OF MOM
AND I DON'T.

GO TO SLEEP.

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

[ DOOR OPENS ]
MR. O'MALLEY,
MY ASSISTANT, CARLA,

WILL BE SENDING YOUR INVOICE
IN THE MAIL, BUT REMEMBER --

MY SERVICES ARE NOT
COMPLETED UNTIL I FIND
YOUR PERFECT MATCH.

OH, I THINK
YOU ALREADY HAVE.

I'LL CALL YOU THE MINUTE
I'VE SPOKEN WITH MISS MOON.

MISS MOON --
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL NAME.

DOREEN IS
JUST LIKE SHE SOUNDS --

NURTURING, SWEET,
AND KIND.

I NEED A NEW SUIT.

AND SHIRTS --
BRIGHT COLORS.

AND MAYBE A HAIRCUT --
ONE OF THOSE $30 JOBS.

OKAY, FRANK, HOLD ON.

JUST BE YOURSELF, OKAY?

'CAUSE WHEN I LOOK AT
YOU AS YOU ARE, YOU
ARE THE RIGHT MAN --

JUST THE PERSON
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR

TO INTRODUCE
TO THIS AMAZING WOMAN.

ME? THE RIGHT MAN?

[ LAUGHS ]

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

[ SIGHS ]
[ DOOR CLOSES ]

I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU
DO IT FOR YEARS,

AND I'M STILL IMPRESSED.

ARE YOU GIVING ME
A COMPLIMENT?

I'D DO ANYTHING
TO KEEP MY JOB.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

OHH, LOOK AT THE TIME!

I SPENT TOO LONG
WITH MR. O'MALLEY.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE
MEETING MY MOM FOR LUNCH.

OH, SHE'S BACK
FROM HER CARIBBEAN CRUISE?

YEAH, LATE LAST NIGHT.

SHE WAS FEELING A LITTLE DOWN
BEFORE SHE LEFT.

I HOPE THIS CRUISE
LIFTED HER SPIRITS A BIT.

WELL, GO FIND OUT RIGHT NOW.
GO AHEAD. LEAVE.

OKAY. WHAT TIME
IS MY NEXT CLIENT?

CANCELED.
AND THE ONE AFTER HER.

SO YOU CAN TAKE
A LONGLUNCH.

THAT'S THE FOURTH CANCELLATION
THIS WEEK. WHAT IS GOING ON?

WELL, NOW THAT I HAVE
A FEW HOURS TO SPARE,

I'M GONNA FIND OUT.

GOOD.
SEE YOU AT 3:00.

BYE-BYE.

MY 3:00 ISCOMING,
RIGHT?

SO FAR, SO GOOD.

Kay: ALL RIGHT,
NOW TURN AROUND AND FACE ME.

OHHH!

AHH!

STUNNING!
LIKE A MAGAZINE COVER!

DOESN'T SHE LOOK STUNNING?

LISTEN, I'VE OWNED THIS SHOP
FOR OVER 30 YEARS.

ANYONE WILL TELL YOU
I AM NOT A GUSHER,

BUT TODAY I'M GUSHING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOW, LADIES, I'M GOING TO
LEAVE YOU WITH RACHEL.

SHE WILL TAKE EXCELLENT CARE
OF YOU, ALL RIGHT?

JUST DON'T GO AND BREAK MY HEART
AND PICK ANOTHER GOWN.

BECAUSE YOU LOOK STUNNING.

HI, BABY.

WELCOME HOME, MOM.

MWAH!
MWAH!

MWAH!
MWAH!

SO, UH, SHOULD WE TAKE
MY CAR OR YOURS?

I MADE THE RESERVATION.

LA ROSE BLANC IS ONLY 10 BLOCKS
AWAY. WE'RE GONNA WALK.

10 BLOCKS?
[ GROANS ]

EXERCISE, BABY -- IT'S GOOD
FOR THE MIND AND THE BODY.

OH, HONEY, CAN YOU DO ME
A TEENY FAVOR?

SURE. WHAT?

WELL, WHILE I WAS ON THE CRUISE,
I WAS THINKING --

YOU AND I ARE REALLY
MORE LIKE FRIENDS

THAN MOTHER
AND DAUGHTER.

FRIENDS?
EXACTLY.

GIRLFRIENDS, BUDDIES.

SO, UH,
HOW ABOUT FROM NOW ON,

YOU CALL ME "KAY"
INSTEAD OF "MOM"?

[ GASPS ]

YOU MET A MAN!

THAT'S WHAT IT IS,
ISN'T IT?

NO!

YES!
[ LAUGHS ]

MOM!

KAY!
[ LAUGHS ]

AWW. I HOPE
YOU'RE NOT UPSET.

UPSET?
NO, I'M ECSTATIC.

AWW. GOOD.
I'M SO RELIEVED.

I CAN HARDLY WAIT
TO MEET HIM.

OH, THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE
HE'S WAITING FOR US
AT THE RESTAURANT.

WHAT? OH, NO!
[ LAUGHS ]

I DON'T EVEN --
HOW DO I LOOK?

YOU LOOK DIVINE.
[ LAUGHS ]

OH, HIS NAME IS ARTHUR --
ARTHUR WRIGHT.

YOU MET "MR. RIGHT."

IT'S SPELLED WITH A "W,"
BUT HE IS MYMR. RIGHT.

OH, GOOD.

[ Singsong voice ]
AND REMEMBER --

I KNOW -- "KAY."
"KAY" IT IS.

I HOPE YOU LIKE HIM.

I'LL LOVE HIM.

THAT'S GOOD.

Arthur: SO SHE SAYS, "NO WONDER
HE CAN'T WEAR GLASSES.

IT'S NOT THAT HE HAS ONE EYE.
HE ONLY HAS ONE EAR."

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU'RE A BAD BOY,
ARTIE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OH, UH, YOUR MOTHER TELLS ME
YOU'RE A MATCHMAKER?

WELL, I-I OWN
HEARTS & FLOWERS.

IT'S A SMALL
MATCHMAKING BUSINESS.

HEARTS & FLOW--
FLOWERS?

[ LAUGHS ]
OH, LIKE -- LIKE YOUR LAST NAME.

THAT -- OH, THAT'S --
THAT'S BRILLIANT!

OH, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
SHE WAS SMART, TOO.

[ COUGHS ]

YOU ALL RIGHT,
SWEETIE?

NO, NO, I'M FINE.
I'M FINE.

NEVER FELT BETTER...KAY.

DID Y'ALL HEAR THE ONE
ABOUT THE --

GUY GOES INTO A BAR
WITH A DUCK ON HIS HEAD.

[ CHUCKLES ]
HE W--

MAYBE I BETTER NOT TELL
THAT ONE -- MIXED COMPANY.

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?

NEVER MET ANYONE
WHO'S SO CONSIDERATE.

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY
THAT YOU'RE GORGEOUS?

MWAH!

SO, WHERE ARE YOU FROM,
ARTHUR?

BUFFALO --
BEAUTIFUL BUFFALO, NEW YORK.

I'M IN SUPERMARKETS.
I WASIN SUPERMARKETS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

STARTED WITH ONE,
ENDED WITH 16.

I SOLD OUT TO THE BIG BOYS.
LET THEM WORRY.

OH, YOU DON'T HAVE
ENOUGH TO DRINK.

[ SNAPS FINGERS ]
SWEETIE! OVER THIS WAY!

UH, MORE WINE, PLEASE.
THANK YOU.

CAN'T GET HELP. CAN'T GET HELP.
THAT'S WHY I SOLD OUT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SORRY I'M LATE.

DON'T START. I JUST HAD
THE WORST LUNCH OF MY LIFE.

NO PROBLEM.

IS MY 3:00 WAITING?
SHE CANCELED.

WHAT?

I KNOW EXACTLY WHY.

WHILE YOU WERE OUT, I WAS
POKING AROUND THE INTERNET.

TAKE A SEAT.

READ IT AND WEEP.

ROMANCE-4-YOU.com?

"WHY LEAVE THE BIGGEST DECISION
OF YOUR LIFE TO CHANCE?

"OUR SCIENTIFICALLY-BASED
COMPATIBILITY FORMULA

"WILL MATCH YOU
WITH THE PERFECT DATE

AND POTENTIAL
LIFE PARTNER."

"SCIENTIFICALLY-BASED"?

WHAT, ARE THEY BRINGING TOGETHER
ROBOTS OR SOMETHING?

SOME HUGE CORPORATION
OUT OF ASIA.

THIS IS THEIR FIRST
AMERICAN FRANCHISE,

AND THEY'VE OPENED UP
RIGHT HERE IN THE VALLEY.

SO THAT'S WHY MY CLIENTS
HAVE BEEN DISAPPEARING.

THAT'S IT?
THAT'S YOUR REACTION?

TAKE IT EASY.
I'LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING.

I JUST HAVE TO TAKE
A LITTLE TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT.

WELL, DON'T TAKE LONG.

I'M TOO OLD
TO GO FIND A NEW JOB.

[ SIGHS ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

MISS BERNSTEIN, MR. MATSUI,
JOSH SHERMAN SPEAKING.

WHY DON'T I OUTLINE THE
ROMANCE-4-YOU.com BUSINESS PLAN?

Susan:
"SUSAN'S HEART HINTS."

"AS SHAKESPEARE SAID,

"'LOVE LOOKS NOT WITH THE EYES, BUT WITH THE MIND.'

"SOMETIMES, HOWEVER,
IT'S A GOOD IDEA

TO WIPE YOUR GLASSES
AND TAKE A SECOND LOOK."

CARLA?

Carla: WHAT?

I NEED YOU.

THIS BETTER BE
IMPORTANT, GIRL.

I WAS ON THE LAST CHAPTER
OF MY DANIELLE STEEL NOVEL.

TAKE MY PICTURE.

I DON'T PUT THIS
IN THE "IMPORTANT" CATEGORY.

WELL, IT IS.

BECAUSE?

BECAUSE IT'S GOING ALONG
WITH MY ONLINE PROFILE

TO ROMANCE-4-YOU.com.

THE ONLY WAY
TO TAKE ON THE COMPETITION

IS TO SHOW
THAT WE'RE BETTER.

YEAH.

AND THE WAY TO SHOW
THAT HEARTS & FLOWERS'
PERSONAL TOUCH WORKS

IS TO PROVE THAT
ROMANCE-4-YOU.com's
COMPUTER TOUCH DOESN'T.

RIGHT.
MEET THEIR NEWEST CLIENT.

YOU SNEAKY
LITTLE DEVIL, YOU.

I LEARNED IT ALL FROM YOU.
NOW, COME ON.

[ LAUGHS ]

TAKE MY PICTURE
SO WE CAN UPLOAD IT

AND GET THIS SHOW
ON THE ROAD.

BIG SMILE.

[ CAMERA CLICKS ]

OKAY, LEAN FORWARD.
GIVE ME A BIG SMILE.

[ CAMERA CLICKS ]

OOH,
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

[ PARKING BRAKE CLICKS,
ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]

[ WATER RUNNING ]

Susan: MOM?

I'M IN THE KITCHEN,
BABY.

WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY?

WHAT EMERGENCY?
THERE'S NO EMERGENCY.

LOOK, I MADE
SOME LOVELY CANAPéS.

YOU CAN CALM DOWN.

NO, YOU --
YOU LEFT FIVE VOICEMAILS.

YOU SAID YOU NEEDED
TO SEE ME RIGHT AWAY.

OH, SWEETIE, I'M SO SORRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO ALARM YOU.

I JUST -- I-I-I HAVE SOMETHING
TO SHARE WITH YOU, THAT'S ALL.

OKAY, SHARE. SHARE AWAY.
WELL, HOW ABOUT
SOMETHING TO EAT?

I'VE GOT
SOME LOVELY LEMONADE --

MOM, I'M GOOD. JUST TELL ME --
WHAT'S GOING ON?

UH, ARTHUR SOLD
HIS HOUSE IN BUFFALO.

OKAY.

AND I NEED TO KNOW THIS
BECAUSE?

BECAUSE HE'S MOVING
TO CALIFORNIA.

OKAY.

INTO THE HOUSE.

WITH ME.

ARTHUR? HERE?

[ ICE CUBES CLINKING ]
WITH YOU?

I WAS AFRAID YOU WERE GONNA HAVE
THIS KIND OF REACTION.

OH, MOM.

SUSAN, ARTHUR ISN'T THE WAY
HE APPEARS ON THE SURFACE.

OH, I'M SO RELIEVED.

I THOUGHT
HE WAS LOUD AND UNCOUTH

AND TOLD REALLY BAD JOKES.

I'M SO GLAD
I WAS WRONG.

WELL, NOT EXACTLY.

OKAY, SO HE IS
LOUD AND UNCOUTH --

I DON'T NEED
THE WHOLE LIST AGAIN.

I MEAN, SOME PEOPLE
CAN BE THOSE THINGS

AND STILL BE
EXCEPTIONAL HUMAN BEINGS,

WHICH ARTHUR IS.

I SEE.

NO, YOU DON'TSEE, SUSAN.
YOU DON'T SEE AT ALL.

[ SCOFFS ]

ARTIE GAVE ME BACK
A FEELING OF JOY ABOUT MY LIFE.

I NEED THAT.

I NEED IT SO BADLY.

PLEASE TRY
TO UNDERSTAND THAT.

MOM, I'M TRYING.

BUT MY DAD WAS
AN EXCEPTIONAL HUMAN BEING

INSIDE AND OUT.

HE'S A REALLY HARD ACT
TO FOLLOW.

I KNOW, AND I'M NOT
TRYING TO REPLACE HIM, SWEETIE,

AND I'M NOT TRYING
TO HAVE YOUREPLACE HIM.

I'M ASKING YOU
TO GIVE ARTHUR A CHANCE.

I-I-I JUST WANT YOU TO SEE HIM
THE WAY I SEE HIM.

HE MAKES ME HAPPY.

YEAH.

I KNOW.

AND I WANT YOU
TO BE HAPPY.

THANK YOU, BABY.

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

THIS IS PRETTY LAME
SO FAR, DAD.

I FIND THE DATABASE-DRIVEN
APPLICATIONS VERY INTERESTING.

A CHIP OFF
THE OLD BLOCK, HUH?

ELIZABETH, COULD THE GIRLS
HELP YOU WITH SOMETHING,

PREFERABLY
SOMETHING WILDLY EXCITING?

I'VE GOT
JUST THE JOB.

HOW ABOUT YOU LADIES
DO SOME COPYING FOR ME?

WHATEVER.
WE'D LOVE
TO ASSIST.

I GOT
A COUPLE CALLS TO MAKE,

AND THEN I WILL TAKE MY TWO
NEW ASSISTANTS OUT FOR LUNCH.

[ DIALING ]

AND WHEN
THE NEW PROFILES COME IN,

WE MAKE TWO COPIES
OF THE PRINTOUTS --

ONE FOR ACCOUNTING,
ONE FOR RECORDS.

GOT IT.

GREAT.
HERE YOU GO.

I'VE SORTED THEM INTO
TWO PILES -- MALE AND FEMALE.

YOU KEEP THEM
SORTED THAT WAY.

I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW MINUTES
TO CHECK IN ON YOU.

COME AND GET ME
IF YOU RUN INTO ANY PROBLEMS.

THANK YOU.
IT SOUNDS PRETTY ELEMENTARY.

SO, TWO COPIES.

VOILà.

NO, MAKE THREECOPIES
OF THE FEMALE PILE.

BUT SHE SPECIFICALLY
SAID "TWO."

AND I'M SPECIFICALLY
SAYING "THREE."

WHY?
[ SCOFFS ]

FOR SOMEONE SO SMART,
YOU CAN BE PRETTY DUMB.

THE THIRD COPY'S FOR US.

WHY WOULD WE WANT A --

THESE ARE ALL THE LADIES
LOOKING FOR MEN TO DATE.

WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR?

A LADY FOR DAD TO DATE.

[ BEEPING ]

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

ROMANCE-4-YOU.com.

[ WHINES ]

[ GASPS ]

BAILEY! I HAVE TREATS!

COME HERE! COME HERE!

GOOD BOY!

HEY!

HEY!

I CAME STRAIGHT FROM WORK
SO THAT I'D HAVE TIME

TO COOK BEFORE CLASS.

OH, AND I FOUND THE PERFECT
DOCTOR TO SET YOU UP WITH.

ATTRACTIVE,
BUT TOTALLY THE WRONG OUTFIT

FOR COOKING
A KOSHER MEAL.

BAILEY'S GOING TO HAVE TO BE
YOUR SOUS CHEF.

I WON'T BE HERE FOR THE
COOKING PART, ONLY THE EATING.

HOW COME?

I HAVE A DATE.
OH, THANK YOU, LORD.

I DON'T THINK
HE HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT.

IT'S A ROMANCE-4-YOU.com
DATE --

MY FIRST SCIENTIFICALLY-
COMPATIBLE MATCH.

SCIENTIFICALLY-COMPATIBLE...
WHAT?

A WEBSITE MATCHED US UP. IT'S
A NEW VENTURE IN THE VALLEY.

APPARENTLY, THEY'VE BEEN
SLOWLY STEALING MY CLIENTS

FOR THE LAST FEW MONTHS.

THIS IS TOTALLY
NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND

WHEN I WANTED TO PLAN
A DATING PROGRAM FOR YOU.

WHY ARE YOU LETTING THEM
SET YOU UP ON A DATE?

IT'S THE 21st CENTURY.

THEY'RE VERY HIGH-TECH

AND CLAIM THEIR COMPUTERS
CAN DO MY JOB BETTER.

NO WAY! YOU BROUGHT TOGETHER
MORE COUPLES THAN NOAH.

DON'T WORRY. I'M GONNA PROVE
THAT THEY CAN'T.

AND WHEN I DO, I'M GONNA PRINT
IT FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE

ON MY
"HEART HINTS" BLOG.

I LOVE IT.
[ CHUCKLES ]

♪ EVERYBODY'S
GOT A LONELY LIFE ♪

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

Woman:
THANKS. GOOD NIGHT.

♪ IT'S OFF TO SEE
THE WIZARD AT THE ZOO ♪

GREAT.

HE'S PERFECT.

HI, BABY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

♪ TELL ME BEFORE WE GO

WANT TO GO?
UH-HUH.

♪ IT'S A LONELY SONG

HI. HEY!

Ms. Moskovitz:
OH, GOSH. IS MY CAB HERE?

HE'S WAITING
OUT FRONT.

THANK YOU, DEAR.

I'LL BE IN TOUCH,
MS. MOSKOVITZ,

BUT YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO BE PATIENT.

IT MIGHT TAKE SOME TIME
TO FIND A SUITABLE GENTLEMAN,

YOU KNOW,
IN YOUR AGE GROUP.

OH, I'M NOT VERY PICKY.

HE JUST NEEDS
TO HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE

AND MOST OF HIS HEARING.

OKAY.

THANKS, MS. MOSKOVITZ.

BYE-BYE.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

OH, IF I EVER DIVORCE MAC,
HEFITS THE BILL.

OKAY, STOP THAT.
YOU ARE NEVER GONNA DIVORCE MAC.

YOU WERE MY FIRST
AND BEST MATCH.

WELL, LET'S MAKE SURE YOU GET
TO DO MORE OF YOUR MAGIC.

GO IN THERE AND WRITE UP
YOUR BAD DATE ON THE BLOG.

NOT YET.

COME ON. LET'S SEE. LET'S SEE
IF ANYTHING NEW HAS COME IN.

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

AH, HERE YOU GO.

LONELY LEGAL BEAGLE,
42-YEAR-OLD CRIMINAL LAWYER,

OFFICES IN CENTURY CITY,
HIS OWN HOME IN BEVERLY HILLS.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH THAT.

"WHAT ARE THE QUALITIES
OF YOUR IDEAL PARTNER?"

"NICE PERSONALITY,

TINY FEET THAT LOOK GREAT
IN OPEN-TOED SHOES."

"WHAT IS YOUR IDEA
OF A PERFECT DATE?"

"WALKING ALONG THE SANTA MONICA
PIER WITH MY LADY WEARING..."

"OPEN-TOES SHOES
WITH RED POLISH ON HER NAILS."

EWW.
EWW.

I HAVE ONE QUESTION.

IF YOU GO OUT WITH HIM,
WHO FOOTS THE BILL?

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

Jennifer:
HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

"AUBURN HAIR, GREEN EYES,
OUTGOING, SMART,

AND NOT AFRAID
OF WHAT TOMORROW BRINGS."

SHE RUNS MARATHONS,
HAS TRAVELED THE WORLD,

AND SHE LOVES ANIMALS.

REALLYLOVES THEM.
SHE HAS 14 CATS.

OH. I MISSED THAT.

HEY, THIS ONE
SOUNDS EXCELLENT.

HER HOBBIES ARE
THEATER, MUSIC, AND LITERATURE.

AND LOOK AT HER PROFESSION --
A MAKEUP ARTIST.

SHE'S AWESOME.

NOT QUITE.

WHAT NOW?

"NOT WILLING
TO RELOCATE FROM..."

FAIRBANKS, ALASKA?!

I GIVE UP.

WAIT.
HERE'S A POSSIBILITY.

LET ME SEE.

"WHAT ARE
YOUR BEST QUALITIES?"

"A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR,
LOYALTY TO MY FRIENDS."

COOL.

"WHAT QUALITIES DO YOU VALUE
MOST IN A PARTNER?"

"INTELLIGENCE, HUMOR,
AND HE HAS TO LIKE MY DOG."

DAD LOVES DOGS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

"WHAT IS YOUR IDEA
OF THE PERFECT DATE?"

"HORSEBACK RIDING THROUGH
THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS AT SUNSET."

SHE RIDES.

AND SHE'S A SELF-EMPLOYED
BUSINESSWOMAN WHO LIVES HERE.

WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

WE RESPOND, OF COURSE,
AND THEN SHE WRITES BACK.

WHY WOULD SHE WRITE BACK
TO A COUPLE OF KIDS?

SHE WOULDN'T, BUT SHE'D
WRITE BACK TO "DELIGHTFUL DAD,"

A HANDSOME WIDOWER
WITH TWO EXCEPTIONAL DAUGHTERS.

SICK.

THAT'S A COMPLIMENT
IN YOUR VERNACULAR, RIGHT?

FOR SURE.

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

"DEAR
ROMANTIC AT HEART..."

Susan: "DEAR ROMANTIC AT HEART."
HMM.

"READ YOUR PROFILE
WITH INTEREST.

"I'M A WIDOWER
WITH TWO DARLING DAUGHTERS

LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT WOMAN
TO COME INTO OUR LIVES."

AND HERE COMES NUMBER THREE.

"DEAR DELIGHTFUL DAD..."

"DEAR DELIGHTFUL DAD, THANK YOU
FOR RESPONDING TO MY PROFILE.

YOU SOUND LIKE THE KIND
OF PERSON I WOULD LOVE TO MEET."

"LET'S SET UP SOMETHING."

"LOOKING FORWARD
TO MEETING YOU.

SUSAN."

SUSAN. A GOOD NAME --
FEMININE, YET STRONG.

I THINK
DAD'S GONNA LIKE HER.

ONE PROBLEM --
HOW DO WE GET THEM TO MEET?

WE SET UP A DATE.

DAD IS NOT
GONNA GO OUT ON A DATE,

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE FINDS OUT
HOW HE GOT IT --

HOW WEGOT IT.

HE WON'T FIND OUT.

EVEN FOR YOU,
THIS IS CRAZY.

HOW WON'T HE KNOW
HE'S ON A DATE?

WATCH AND LEARN.

"DEAR SUSAN, I'M THRILLED
THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO MEET."

NO, "THRILLED"
SOUNDS LIKE HE'S DESPERATE.

"I'M VERY PLEASED
THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO MEET."

COME IN.

[ DOOR CREAKS ]

IT'S VERY QUIET IN HERE.

HOW'S THE HOMEWORK COMING?

TOUGH DAY AT SCHOOL, DAD.
WE'RE SLOGGING THROUGH IT.

WELL, KEEP AT IT.

SUPPER WILL BE READY
IN HALF AN HOUR.

[ CHUCKLES ]

"YOU SOUND LIKE
AN EXCEPTIONAL PERSON.

AND I THINK
WE WOULD MAKE A GOOD MATCH."

"HOWEVER,
I HAVE AN UNUSUAL REQUEST,

WHICH I HOPE
YOU WILL CONSIDER."

UH-OH.

"MY TWO DAUGHTERS
COME FIRST IN MY LIFE."
WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

"AND I HAVEN'T DATED
SINCE THEIR MOTHER PASSED AWAY

SIX YEARS AGO."

SO SAD!

OKAY,
STICK TO THE LATKES.

"I'M NOT SURE
HOW THEY WILL REACT

TO THEIR DAD
STARTING TO DATE AGAIN."

HE'S A THOUGHTFUL MAN.

"SO HERE'S
WHAT I'D LIKE TO SUGGEST.

"EVERY SATURDAY,

MY DAUGHTER CASSIE GOES RIDING
AT THE TUMBLEWEED STABLES."

Cassie:
"SHE GETS THERE AROUND NOON,

AND WE GO
TO A NEARBY PLACE FOR LUNCH."

"HOW WOULD IT BE

"IF WE ACCIDENTALLY
BUMPED INTO YOU AT THE STABLES,

"PERHAPS BY ASKING YOU
TO SUGGEST A RESTAURANT?

I HOPE YOU WILL
DECIDE TO COME."

"SINCERELY..."

"SINCERELY, JOSH."

"...JOSH."

I LIKE THE WAY
THIS JOSH THINKS.

OKAY.
DEVIOUSLY?

NO, HE'S MINDFUL
OF HIS CHILDREN'S FEELINGS.

SO, THIS ALL SOUNDS
LEGIT TO YOU?

YEAH, BUT I'M ONE OF THOSE
ZANY BELIEVERS

IN THE BASIC DECENCY
OF PEOPLE.

HMM. SO YOU THINK I SHOULD
GO TO THE TUMBLEWEED STABLES
AND MEET WITH THIS GUY?

ABSOLUTELY.
IT'S A WIN-WIN SITUATION.

HOW SO?

WELL, IF HE IS
WHO HE SAYS HE IS,

YOU MEET A CANDIDATE
FOR KISSING AT MIDNIGHT
NEXT NEW YEAR'S EVE.

IF HE ISN'T, WELL...

YOU GOT ANOTHER DATING FIASCO
TO WRITE ABOUT FOR YOUR BLOG.

YOU FORGOT
THE THIRD POSSIBILITY.
WHAT'S THAT?

WHAT IF HE'S
THE TUMBLEWEED STABLE STRANGLER?

OH, YEAH.
I'LL BE AT WORK.

HAVE YOUR CELLPHONE HANDY,
WITH ME ON SPEED DIAL.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OHH! STUNNING,
LIKE A MAGAZINE COVER!

OHH.

Woman:
DO YOU LIKE IT?

IT MUST BE
QUITE AN ADJUSTMENT FOR YOU --

LEAVING BUFFALO,
MOVING HERE.

I WOULD MOVE TO THE MOON
FOR YOUR MOTHER.

WELL...THAT'S NICE.

I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING, SUSAN.

YOU DO?

I AM NOT
AN INSENSITIVE MAN.

WELL,
I-I NEVER SAID YOU WERE.

YOU'RE THINKING I'M NOT DOING
THE RIGHT THING BY YOUR MOTHER,

THE HONORABLE THING -- MOVING IN
WITH HER AND ALL OF THAT.

ARTHUR,
IT'S NOT MY PLACE --

AND YOU'RE
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

THAT IS NOT THE WAY
FOR A GENTLEMAN TO BEHAVE.

MY TWO FAVORITE PEOPLE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HI, BABY.
KAY.

HI, SWEETHEART.
[ LAUGHS ]

I AM SO READY FOR LUNCH.
LET'S GO.

WAIT.
WHAT, DID YOU
FORGET SOMETHING?

YES, UH...SUSAN.

YES?

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU
FOR THE HONOR

OF YOUR MOTHER'S HAND
IN MARRIAGE.

YOU WANT --
OH, MY.

YOU WANT TO ASK ME?

YOU'RE THE ONE
SHE LOVES MOST IN THE WORLD.

YES, I WANT YOUR PERMISSION,
YOUR APPROVAL.

I'M -- WELL, I'M, UH...

UH, SURE.

YOU HAVE MY BLESSING.

KATHERINE FLOWERS...

WOULD YOU MAKE ME
THE PROUDEST, HAPPIEST MAN

IN THE WHOLE WORLD

BY AGREEING
TO BECOME MY WIFE?

OH, ART.

OH, ART.

ART.

I THINK
SHE'S TRYING TO SAY "YES."

ARTIE.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

[ HOOFBEATS ]

[ HORSE NEIGHING ]

Josh: WHOA!

DAD, YOU SHOULD THROW AWAY
THAT SHIRT.

THE GOLDEN OWLS SHIRT?
ARE YOU KIDDING?

THIS WAS THE BEST CONCERT
I EVER WENT TO. NO WAY.

THAT WAS
IN THE OLDEN DAYS.

YEAH, THE '80s,
RIGHT BEFORE DINOSAURS DIED.

WHAT MADE THAT CONCERT
SO SPECIAL, ANYWAY?

THAT'S WHERE
I MET YOUR MOM.

REALLY?

YEAH.

YEAH, SHE WAS THERE
WITH, UH,

A LOT OF HER GIRLFRIENDS
FROM COLLEGE.

IT WAS FUN.

WAS SHE
JUST AS PRETTY THEN?

OH, YEAH.
PRETTIEST GIRL I'D EVER SEEN.

[ HORSE NEIGHS ]

YOU LOOK MORE LIKE HER
EVERY DAY.

IT'S A LITTLE BIT SCARY.

[ HOOFBEATS ]

COME ON.
HERE SHE COMES.

WHAT A FINE LADY YOU ARE,
SNOWFLAKE.

I'M GONNA BRING YOU
SOME EXTRA TREATS NEXT WEEK.

MR. SHERMAN.

HI, BEN. HOW ARE YOU?

LITTLE MISS CASSIE.

HI, MR. WIATT.

HOW WAS OLD SNOWFLAKE
THIS MORNING?

SHE WAS A LITTLE STIFF
TO THE RIGHT AT FIRST,

BUT WE WORKED IT OUT,
DIDN'T WE, GIRL?

[ NEIGHS ]

BETTER TAKE HER IN
AND LET HER GET RESTED.

SEE YOU NEXT SATURDAY,
SNOWFLAKE.

BYE, MR. WIATT.

COME ON, GIRLS.
LET'S GO.

She's not here.

Maybe she's having trouble
finding the place.

We have to stall.

DAD?

I THINK WE SHOULD GO SOMEWHERE
ELSE FOR LUNCH BECAUSE...

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T WORKED UP
AN APPETITE YET.

WHAT? YOU'VE BEEN RIDING
FOR 2 1/2 HOURS.

COME ON. GET IN THE CAR.
I'M STARVING.

DAD, LET'S GO
SOMEPLACE DIFFERENT TODAY.

YOU WANT TO BREAK THE
SHERMAN FAMILY LUNCH TRADITION?

IT'S GETTING OLD.
WE'RE IN A RUT.

I'M SURE THERE ARE
PLENTY OF OTHER COOL
PLACES WE COULD EAT.

LET'S ASK SOMEONE --
LIKE HER!

WHY WOULD I ASK
A PERFECT STRANGER?

A STRANGER IS JUST A FRIEND
YOU HAVEN'T MET.

I --
I DON'T NEED --

DAD, JUST ASK.
DAD, JUST ASK.

GIRLS --
GO! PLEASE! COME ON!

DAD! GOSH! JUST ASK!

SHE'S COMING OUT! GO!

EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME.
UH, EXCUSE ME.

EXCU--

YOU FIRST.

CAN YOU TELL US...

WHERE WE CAN GO AROUND HERE
FOR LUNCH, SOMEWHERE CLOSE?

UH, THE BEST PLACE IN THE CITY
IS RIGHT DOWN THE HILL --

MISS MOLLY'S GOOD EATS.

OH, THAT'S ODD. WE'VE BEEN
COMING UP HERE FOR YEARS.

NEVER HEARD OF THAT
BEFORE.

UH, BECAUSE IT'S A SECRET PASSED
ON ONLY TO THE CHOSEN FEW.

WELL, I'M HONORED.

[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT DO YOU SAY, GIRLS?

AWESOME.
IT SOUNDS PERFECT.

CAN YOU GIVE US
DIRECTIONS?

I WAS ACTUALLY HEADED THERE,
WHICH IS WHY I STOPPED YOU.

DO YOU HAVE THE TIME?
MY WATCH IS...

YEAH, IT'S, UH, 11:45.

OH, DARN.
I MISSED MY FRIEND.

I WAS
SUPPOSED TO MEET HER.

YOU SHOULD JOIN US
FOR LUNCH.

YEAH, ISN'T THAT
A GOOD IDEA, DAD?

YEAH.

UH...

[ HORSE NEIGHS ]

SURE. DO YOU WANT
TO JOIN US FOR LUNCH?

I'D LOVE TO.

OKAY.

OH, YES.
[ BOTH GIGGLE ]

I'M JOSH --
JOSH SHERMAN.

UH, SUSAN --
SUSAN FLOWERS.

HI, SUSAN.

THIS IS MY ELDEST DAUGHTER,
JENNIFER, AND CASSIE.

HI.
HI.

HI.
NICE TO MEET YOU.

SO, SHOULD WE
FOLLOW YOU?

YES, FOLLOW ME.

ALL RIGHT.
COME ON.

Remember --
when we get there,

we can't leave them alone,
even for a moment,

in case she mentions
his e-mail.

SO, YOU, UM,
YOU COME HERE A LOT, YOU --

OH, ON AND OFF.

MY DAD AND I USED TO COME HERE
EVERY SUNDAY MORNING

WHEN I WAS
A LITTLE GIRL,

JUST THE TWO OF US.

WE WOULD
GET UP REALLY EARLY,

AND THEN WE'D GO FOR HIKES
FOR LIKE TWO HOURS

ALONG THE TRAILS
IN THE PARK,

AND THEN WE'D COME BACK HERE
AND HAVE A HUGE BREAKFAST.

SOUNDS LIKE
A REAL TREAT.

YEAH. OUR LITTLE
FAMILY TRADITION.

LIKE YOU HAVING LUNCH
WITH THE GIR--

HOW WOULD YOU KNOW
ABOUT THAT?

EVERY FAMILY
HAS TRADITIONS.

IT'S...UNIVERSAL.

YEAH.

BY THE WAY, I LOVE YOUR SHIRT.
I MEAN --

THIS OLD THING?

YEAH, I HAVE ONE FROM THEIR
CONCERT AT THE FORUM -- IN '88?

YOU KNOW ABOUT THE OWLS?

[ SCOFFS ] IT'S ONLY, LIKE,
MY FAVORITE BAND.

WELL, IT'S GOOD TO KNOW THERE'S
STILL A FEW OF US OUT THERE.

YEAH, JUST A FEW.

Cassie: AND THEN
SNOWFLAKE SUDDENLY STOPPED,

AND I FELL
STRAIGHT INTO THE BUSHES.

[ LAUGHS ] I HOPE ALL YOU HURT
WAS YOUR PRIDE.

OH, SHE WAS FINE.
IWAS THE ONE IN SHOCK.

DAD'S A WORRIER --
NOT IN A BAD WAY.

NOT AT ALL.
HE'S A VERY SOLID PERSON.

Susan: YOUR GIRLS
CERTAINLY THINK A LOT OF YOU.

THAT'S VERY SWEET.

ANDSURPRISING.

WELL, I GUESS
WE BETTER GO.

YEAH.
COME ON, GIRLS.

WE SHOULD
GET TOGETHER AGAIN.

OH.
WHAT A NICE IDEA.

WHAT DO YOUTHINK,
DAD?

UH...WELL, YEAH, SURE.
[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU SHOULD, LIKE,
EXCHANGE NUMBERS OR SOMETHING.

THAT'S OUR HOME NUMBER
AND DAD'S CELL.

THANK YOU.

WELL, I TELL YOU WHAT --
IF ELIZABETH EVER QUITS,

I KNOW
WHO'S GONNA REPLACE HER.

I ALWAYS CARRY OUR NUMBERS,
IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.

DO YOU?

I'M NOT AS EFFICIENT, BUT I
COULD PROBABLY WRITE IT DOWN --

[ CELLPHONE DROPS ] OHH!
OH, GOODNESS.
WE'VE GOT IT.

LET ME JUST GET THAT.

THANK YOU.

YOU HAVE
VERY POLITE CHILDREN.

YES, WELL, THIS MORNING
HAS BEEN A REVELATION.

HERE YOU GO.

THERE'S MY NUMBER.

ALL RIGHT.

COME ON, GIRLS --
IN THE CAR.

IT WAS LOVELY
TO MEET YOU.

YOU TOO.

HEY, MAUREEN,
IT'S ME -- SUSAN.

HE WAS NOTHING
LIKE I THOUGHT HE'D BE.

Maureen: Are you running
for your life?

SERIOUSLY, SUSAN,
YOU OKAY?

He's great!

GIVE ME SOME QUICK DETAILS.
I'M ON DUTY.

OKAY. HE'S FUNNY, SMART,
KIND OF CUTE.

MAYBE THE COMPUTER
GOT IT RIGHT.

Okay,
don't remind me.

[ CHUCKLES ] I WON'T.
TELL ME MORE.

HIS DAUGHTERS
WERE QUIRKY AND SWEET.

HE SEEMS
LIKE A GOOD DAD.

AND THE WHOLE
ACCIDENTAL-MEETING THING

TOTALLY WORKED
LIKE A CHARM.

Well, when are you
seeing him again?

I DON'T KNOW.
SOON, I HOPE.

NO. NO.
HOPING ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

WE GOT TO COME UP
WITH A PLAN OF ACTION.

I'LL BE OVER AT 7:00.
ORDER A PIZZA WITH THE WORKS.

Josh:
WHO WANTS SALAD?

ME!
ME!

"ME"!

[ CHUCKLES ]

I saw her business card
when her stuff fell out --

Hearts & Flowers, with pictures
of flowers all over it.

She must be a florist.
Like her name. Cool.

[ CHUCKLES ]

Josh:
HERE YOU GO.

SO, DAD, WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA CALL SUSAN FLOWERS?

WHY WOULD I CALL HER?

BECAUSE YOU LIKED HER,
AND SHE GAVE YOU HER NUMBER.

THE ONLY REASON
SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER

IS 'CAUSE IT WOULD HAVE
BEEN RUDE NOT TO.

YOU GUYS PUT HER ANDME
IN A REALLY AWKWARD POSITION.

BUT WE'VE ESTABLISHED
THAT YOU LIKED HER, CORRECT?

SHE WAS NICE ENOUGH.

AND SHE'S THE ONLY OTHER
HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET

THAT'S HEARD
OF THE GOLDEN OWLS.

[ LAUGHS ]
UNH-UNH.

EXACTLY.
YOU HAVE THINGS IN COMMON.

YOU HAVE HER NUMBER.
YOU SHOULD CALL HER.

I REST MY CASE.

IMPRESSIVE.

BUT COUNSEL LEFT OUT
ONE SIGNIFICANT DETAIL.

AND WHAT WOULD THAT BE?

SHE'S PROBABLY
GOT A BOYFRIEND.

NO, SHE DOESN'T.

HOW WOULD
YOU KNOW THAT?

BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
SHE HAS A SIGNIFICANT OTHER.

AND HOW DO PEOPLE
WITH SIGNIFICANT OTHERS LOOK?

NOT LIKE HER.

[ GROANS ]

EAT YOUR PIZZA.

SUSAN, FOR SOMEBODY WHO'S GREAT
AT GIVING DATING ADVICE,

YOU'RE REALLY LOUSY
AT TAKING IT.

NO. I WENT ALONG WITH HIS PLAN
TO MEET THE GIRLS HIS WAY.

THE NEXT MOVE
IS UP TO HIM.

YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF MEN
COULD FIT ON THE HEAD OF A PIN.

OKAY, PLEASE...

ENLIGHTEN ME ABOUT MEN,
SISTER MAUREEN.

THEY HAVE TROUBLE
MAKING UP THEIR OWN MINDS.

THEY APPRECIATE A LITTLE PUSH
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

IT'S ALL IN THE BIBLE.

STARTING
WITH ADAM AND EVE.

MAYBE THAT WASN'T EXACTLY
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION,

BUT IT GOT THINGS
ROLLING BIG-TIME.

SO, SHOULD I OFFER HIM
AN APPLE?

NO, NOT EXACTLY.

JUST...SEND HIM
A FRIENDLY E-MAIL

AND TELL HIM HOW MUCH
YOU ENJOYED MEETING
HIM AND HIS DAUGHTERS

AND SUGGEST
A FOLLOW-UP COFFEE.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

WHAT?

I'M NOT
EXPECTING ANYONE.

MAYBE IT'S A DOZEN ROSES.

YOU ARE WAY TOO ROMANTIC
FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

I KNEW YOU'D BE HOME.

WHAT --

HELLO, MY DEAR.

HI, KAY.
- WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

WELL, YOU DIDN'T ANSWER
ANY OF MY E-MAILS,

NOR ANY
OF MY OTHER MESSAGES.

SO I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO DO.

I HEAR CONGRATULATIONS
ARE IN ORDER.

OH, SO YOU KNOW?

I'M SURPRISED SUSAN
SHARED THE NEWS WITH YOU.

WHY WOULDN'T I?

BECAUSE YOU SEEMED
LESS THAN THRILLED.

I GAVE MY PERMISSION,
DIDN'T I?

YES, YOU DID.
AND THEN YOU LOOKED LIKE
YOU'D HAD A ROOT CANAL.

ANYWAY, YOU PROBABLY COULD NOT
HAVE SAID NO, COULD YOU?

I-I CAN TELL YOU TWO
NEED TO TALK. I SHOULD GO.

NO, NO. PLEASE STAY.

[ SIGHS ]

[ SIGHS ]
SUSAN, I WANT YOU TO TRY.

TRY WHAT?
TO HAVE AN OPEN MIND.

I AMTRYING.

WELL, THEN TRY HARDER.

[ SIGHS ]

[ SIGHS ]

WHAT DO YOU --
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

SUSAN, FROM THE TIME
I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,

I DREAMED
OF THE PERFECT WEDDING.

AHHH,
THE PERFECT GOWN.

I MADE SKETCHES.
I CUT PICTURES OUT OF MAGAZINES.

I HAD A WHOLE SCRAPBOOK
FULL OF "KAY'S WEDDING GOWNS."

THEN I MET YOUR DAD.

HE WAS BEING SHIPPED OUT
TO VIETNAM.

IT WAS
A WHIRLWIND ROMANCE.

THERE WASN'T TIME.

YOU KNOW THE STORY.

YEAH, YEAH.

ALL YOU HAD TIME FOR
WAS TO TAKE OUT A LICENSE

AND GET DOWN
TO CITY HALL.

RIGHT. SO I FORGOT
ALL ABOUT "KAY'S GOWNS."

I MEAN, ALL THAT REALLY MATTERED
WAS YOUR DAD.

BUT NOW, SUSAN,
ALL THESE YEARS LATER,

I GET ANOTHER CHANCE.

AND I WANT YOU
TO HELP ME PICK OUT MY GOWN.

YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU
PICK OUT YOUR GOWN?

I'D LOVE TO DO THAT.

YES?
MM-HMM.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

YES!

THANK YOU.

Jennifer: IT'S HOPELESS.
HE'S NEVER GONNA CALL HER.

SHE'S A MODERN WOMAN.
MAYBE SHE'LL CALL HIM.

NO WAY.

SHE THINKS
THAT HE MADE HER

DO ALL THAT STUPID
PRETEND STUFF TO MEET US.

IF DAD DOESN'T CALL HER,
THEN HE'LL SEEM LIKE A JERK.

AND WHY WOULD SUSAN
WANT TO DATE A JERK?

YOUR LANGUAGE IS A LITTLE CRUDE,
BUT THE ANALYSIS IS FLAWLESS.

THANKS. I THINK.

HEY, HOW ABOUT WE SET UP
A MEETING TOMORROW AT MAY PARK,

MAYBE GET A COFFEE
AND GO FOR A STROLL?

AND HOW DO WE GET DAD
TO BE THERE, SMARTY?

WE DON'T.

"DEAR JOSH."

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

TOO FORMAL?
[ WHIMPERS ]

YEAH.

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

"HI, JOSH.

SO GREAT MEETING YOU
AND YOUR DAUGHTERS."

NAH.

"GIRLS."

"MEETING YOU AND THE GIRLS."

[ DING ]

WHAT?

WHO COULD BE E-MAILING ME
AT THIS HOUR?

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

OH.

[ WHIMPERS ]

"HI, SUSAN.
THANKS FOR COMING TODAY.

"MY GIRLSJUST LOVED YOU.

HOW ABOUT COFFEE TOMORROW
AT 2:00 AT MAY PARK?"

HMM.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

[ Cockney accent ]
WHAT DO YOU KNOW, BAILEY?

SHOULD I ANSWER?

[ Normal voice ]
"HI, JOSH.

"SOUNDS GREAT.

SEE YOU THEN."

[ CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY ]

Cassie: SUSAN! WAIT!

OH!

HI, GIRLS.

I-I THOUGHT
I WAS MEETING YOUR DAD.

HE DIDN'T
COME WITH US.

WE TOLD HIM
WE WERE GOING TO A MOVIE.

I'M...NOT
FOLLOWING THIS.

WHY DON'T WE
ALL SIT DOWN?

OKAY.

WOULD YOU
LIKE A DRINK?

AN ICE CREAM?
OUR TREAT.

WE POOLED
OUR ALLOWANCE.

NO, THANK YOU.

SO, TELL ME
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

WELL,
IT'S LIKE THIS --

OUR DAD HAS BEEN ON HIS OWN
FOR QUITE A LONG TIME NOW.

SIX YEARS.

I KNOW.

AND I'M SORRY.

THANK YOU.

OUR DAD WAS REALLY SAD
FOR A LONG TIME.

AND THE THING IS,
WE'VE DECIDED THE TIME HAS COME

FOR HIM
TO START DATING AGAIN.

YOUDECIDED?

WE DID
QUITE A BIT OF RESEARCH,

AND YOU WERE
THE TOP CANDIDATE.

WELL,
I'M VERY FLATTERED.

BUT HOW DOES YOUR DAD
FIT INTO ALL OF THIS?

THAT NOTE YOU GOT
FROM "DELIGHTFUL DAD"

AT ROMANCE-4-YOU.com?

WE WROTE IT.

WELL,
MAINLY I WROTE IT.

SO, LET ME
GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU TWO SENT A PROFILE
TO ROMANCE-4-YOU.com

PRETENDING TO BE YOUR FATHER
AND WAITED FOR RESPONSES.

IS THAT IT?

MM-MM...
MORE OR LESS.

YOU HAVE TO LET HIM KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW.

NO!
NO!

HE LIKED YOU, SUSAN,

BUT IF HE FOUND OUT
ABOUT ALL OF THIS,

THAT WOULD BE
THE END OF IT.

AND HE'D BE ALONE
FOREVER.

WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD
JUST TRY TO BE PATIENT,

LET YOUR DAD DO WHAT HE NEEDS
TO DO IN HIS OWN TIME.

YOU DON'T KNOW HIM.
HE'S VERY STUBBORN.

IN A GOOD WAY.

IF YOU COULD CALL HIM
SO HE KNOWS YOU'RE FREE

AND JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE,

WE PROMISE
TO TELL HIM EVERYTHING.

OKAY, LOOK, GIRLS,
HERE'S THE DEAL --

I'LL CALL YOUR FATHER.

I'LL GO
ON ONE DATE WITH HIM.

AT THE END OF THAT DATE,
YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH.

ONE DATE?!
THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TIME!

EITHER THAT, OR I CALL HIM
RIGHT NOW AND TELL HIM.

HOW ABOUT THREEDATES?
PLEASE!

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

TWO. TWO DATES.
FINAL OFFER.

YOU DRIVE
A HARD BARGAIN, SUSAN.

IT'S A DEAL.

DEAL.

DEAL.

Kay: WE NEED TO HURRY,

'CAUSE ARTIE'S TAKING ME
TO VEGAS FOR THE WEEKEND.

OKAY. ARE YOU READY?

AS I'LL EVER BE.

OKAY.

[ GASPS ] WOW!

DO YOU LIKE IT?
YES.

HAIR DOWN OR UP?
JUST LIKE THAT.

JUST LIKE THAT?

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

OH, I FEELBEAUTIFUL.
I DO.

I THINK IT'S BECAUSE
I'M SO IN LOVE.

OH, BABY, THAT'S THE WAY
I WANT YOU TO FEEL, TOO.

MAYBE THIS NICE WIDOWER
IS THE ONE

THAT'S GONNA MAKE YOU
FEEL LIKE THAT.

WE'LL SEE.

BABY,
DON'T BE LIKE THAT.

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE CAUTIOUS.

SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED
TO TAKE A CHANCE,

JUMP IN
WITH BOTH FEET.

LOOK AT ME.

YEAH, YOU'VE CERTAINLY
JUMPED IN.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

Arthur:
ANY GORGEOUS BRIDES IN HERE?

ARTIE, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO SEE ME. IT'S BAD LUCK.

DON'T YOU COME IN
TILL I GET OUT.

IS IT SAFE YET?

YEAH, SHE'S IN
THE DRESSING ROOM.

HEY, I GOT
A RIDDLE FOR YOU.

WHY DO BRIDES
ALWAYS WEAR WHITE?

WHY?

MATCHES EVERYTHING ELSE
IN THE KITCHEN.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

HEY, I BET SHE LOOKS LIKE
A MILLION BUCKS.

YOU'D WIN THAT BET,
ARTHUR.

HEY, CALL ME "ARTIE."

BETTER YET,
WHY DON'T YOU CALL ME "POPS"?

ALL MY NEPHEWS AND NIECES
CALL ME "POPS."

I THINK
I'LL STICK WITH "ARTHUR."

YOU -- YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU SHOULD SIT, 'CAUSE SH--
SHE MIGHT TAKE A WHILE.

[ SUSAN CLEARS THROAT ]

GOOD MORNING.

I WOULDN'T JUMP
TO ANY CONCLUSIONS.

WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

SO, HOW'S THAT
ROMANCE-4-YOU EXPOSé COMING?

EH,
I'M WORKING ON IT.

[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

[ EXHALES SLOWLY ]

TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
JUMP IN WITH BOTH FEET.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
JUMP IN WITH BOTH FEET.

[ Ringing ]

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

OKAY.

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

JOSHUA SHERMAN
SPEAKING.

HELLO!
HELLO, JOSH.

JOSH. JOSH.

IT'S, UM, SUSAN -- SUSAN FLOWERS
FROM THE OTHER DAY.

YES.
WE MET.

OH, OF COURSE.
[ CHUCKLES ]

HI.

HI.

SO, UM,
HOW ARE YOU, SUSAN?

GREAT. AND YOU?

GREAT...ALSO.

GOOD.

SO, ANYWAY, UM,
I WAS CALLING

TO SEE IF YOU'D LIKE
TO GET TOGETHER THIS WEEK.

SURE.

UH, LET'S SEE.

UH, THURSDAY, UH,
I HAVE, UM, A BUSINESS DINNER.

FRIDAY'S GOOD.
HOW ABOUT FRIDAY?

NO, FRIDAY'S NO GOOD -- I GOT
A PARENT/TEACHER MEETING

AT MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER'S
SCHOOL.

C-Cassie, right?

YES.

WOW, YOU GOT A --
YOU GOT A GOOD MEMORY.

WELL, YOUR DAUGHTERS
ARE VERY MEMORABLE.

Let's see.

THAT TAKES CARE
OF ALL THE WEEKNIGHTS.

HMM.
UM, I HAVE AN IDEA --

NOTHING GLAMOROUS,
OF COURSE, BUT --

GLAMOROUS?
I DON'T NEED GLAMOROUS.

OKAY, IN THAT CASE, HOW ABOUT
JOINING ME AND THE GIRLS

FOR DINNER AT OUR HOME
ON SUNDAY?

OH! GREAT.
UH, THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

UH,
CAN I BRING ANYTHING?

[ CHUCKLES ]

BRING YOURSELF
AND A GOOD APPETITE.

THE GIRLS
ALWAYS COOK ON SUNDAY.

[ CHUCKLES ]
OH, HOW CUTE.

OKAY, SO, UH, UH,
WHAT'S THE ADDRESS?

THAT'D BE HELPFUL,
WOULDN'T IT?

Uh, it's, uh,
8746 Forest Lane.

IT'S A DATE.

I LOOK FORWARD
TO SEEING YOU THEN.

ME TOO, JOSH.

BYE, SUSAN.

Bye.

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

[ THUD ]
OUCH!

YES! YES! YES! YES!
YESSSSS!

[ CHUCKLES ]

Jennifer:
YOU WHAT?!

Cassie:
DAD, HOW COULD YOU?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ASKING HER
TO COME OVER HERE FOR DINNER?

IT'S NOT
IN THE LEAST BIT ROMANTIC.

WELL, IT WAS YOU TWO
THAT WANTED ME TO SEE HER AGAIN.

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

WE HAVE TO PLAN
A SPECIAL MENU.

SOMETHING FRENCH,
WITH CANDLES.
YEAH.

IT'S GOING TO BE NO DIFFERENT TO
ANY OTHER SUNDAY NIGHT, GIRLS.

WE'LL EAT IN THE DINING ROOM,
OF COURSE, USING THE GOOD CHINA.

[ LAUGHS ]
WE DON'T HAVE GOOD CHINA.
THEN WE'LL BUY SOME.

AND I'LL PUT TOGETHER
A CD

OF APPROPRIATE
CLASSICAL DINNER MUSIC.

AND WE NEED FLOWERS!

SHE'S A FLORIST.
SO HER THING IS FLOWERS.

YEAH.

HOW DO YOU KNOW
SHE'S A FLORIST?

I SAW HER BUSINESS CARD.
SHE OWNS HER OWN SHOP.

FLORIST.
THAT'S NICE.

AND, DAD, YOU SHOULD REALLY
GET SOME NEW CLOTHES --

SOMETHING
FROM THIS CENTURY.

GUYS,
HERE'S A REALITY CHECK, OKAY?

ALL THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN
IS A GUEST,

WHO HAPPENS TO BE A WOMAN,
IS COMING OVER FOR DINNER.

WE'RE NOT GONNA PRETEND
THAT WE'RE ANYTHING WE'RE NOT.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

AND DON'T TELL HER
WHAT YOU DO.

DID YOU HEAR A WORD I SAID?

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD
YOU DISCUSS YOUR PROFESSION.

[ LAUGHS ]
JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, WHY NOT?

WELL --
WELL, IF I WAS A WOMAN,
WHICH I WILL BE SOMEDAY SOON,

AND I HEARD A GUY
RAN ROMANCE-4-YOU.com,

I'D THINK HE HAD
A LOT OF GIRLFRIENDS.

SO I WOULDN'T WANT
TO DATE HIM.

I SEE.

IF IT COMES UP, JUST TELL HER
YOU'RE A BUSINESSMAN.

WITH DIVERSE INTERESTS.

YEAH, DIVERSE INTERESTS --
THAT SOUNDS COOL.

TOO BAD I DON'T HAVE TIME
BEFORE SUNDAY TO GROW A GOATEE.

IT WOULD SUIT YOU.

Susan:
WHAT A LOVELY TABLE.

OH, THIS IS NOTHING.

WE ALWAYS DINE
LIKE THIS ON SUNDAYS.

IT'S A SHERMAN FAMILY
TRADITION.

USUALLY THE BUTLER
SERVES APERITIFS,

BUT HE TOOK
THE NIGHT OFF.

WELL,
I'M VERY IMPRESSED.

[ CHUCKLES ]

DO YOU LIKE
THE FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS?

Jennifer:
WE DID IT OURSELVES.

WELL,
YOU'RE VERY TALENTED.

IT'S A WORK OF ART.

THERE YOU GO, GIRLS --
THERE'S A COMPLIMENT

COMING FROM SOMEONE
WHO KNOWS ALL ABOUT FLOWERS.

THERE'S ME AND SNOWFLAKE.

AND THIS IS THE MOMENT
I KNEW I LOVED HORSES.

YOU WERE VERY CUTE --
BOTH YOU ANDSNOWFLAKE.

[ GIGGLES ]

LOOK AT THIS,
SUSAN.

THIS IS THE DRESS I WORE LAST
YEAR TO THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE.

[ GASPS ]
COOL!

DID YOU ASK A BOY?

NO.

SHE WANTED TO ASK
ADAM STEIN.
SHUT UP.

HEY, HEY. NO.

IT'S OKAY.

DO YOU LIKE
THIS ADAM STEIN?

SORT OF, I GUESS.
BUT HE'S KIND OF MEAN TO ME.

OKAY, LADIES, LET ME LET YOU IN
ON A LITTLE SECRET.

WHAT?

WELL, SOMETIMES,
WHEN A BOY REALLY LIKES YOU,

HE PRETENDS
TO BE MEAN TO YOU.

REALLY?

IT'S THE TRUTH.

THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.

SO, SUSAN...

WOULD YOU SAY BOYS PREFER GIRLS
WITH OR WITHOUT GLASSES?

GLASSES
ARE DEFINITELY A PLUS.

I MEAN, SOMETIMES.

I MEAN, FOR ONE THING
THEY MAKE YOUR EYES LOOK BIGGER,

WHICH IS ALWAYS ATTRACTIVE.
[ GIGGLES ]

AND THEY LET A BOY KNOW THAT
HE'S DEALING WITH A YOUNG WOMAN

WHO'S VERY SECURE
WITH WHO SHE IS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

WELL, I FEEL LIKE
I NEED TO APOLOGIZE.

FOR WHAT?

WELL, I'M SURE SITTING AROUND
WITH A COUPLE OF KIDS ALL NIGHT

WASN'T YOUR IDEA
OF A GREAT DATE.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME
I HAD THIS MUCH FUN.

IT WAS WONDERFUL
SEEING THE GIRLS WITH YOU.

I HADN'T REALIZED
HOW MUCH THEY NEEDED...

WELL, WHEN THEIR MOM DIED,
I SWORE TO MYSELF

THAT I WOULD BE
THE BEST DAD ANDMOM

IN THE WORLD TO THEM.

I'M SURE
YOU HAVE BEEN.

SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK IT'S
ENOUGH NOW, THOUGH, YOU KNOW?

MM.

WELL...I SHOULD GO.

OH, UM...

I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU'RE FREE TOMORROW AFTERNOON.

[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT DID YOU
HAVE IN MIND?

WELL, THE KIDS
GET OUT EARLY FROM SCHOOL.

CASSIE WANTS TO GO RIDING,
NATURALLY,

AND JENNIFER
WANTS TO TAG ALONG.

SHE'S BREAKING IN
A NEW PAIR OF JEANS.

GOOD REASON FOR A RIDE.

I GOT HER FIGURED OUT.

[ LAUGHS ] WELL...

ANYWAY, I'M GONNA BE ALONE
IN THE PARK FOR A FEW HOURS,

AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
LIKE TO COME FOR A HIKE.

I'D LOVE TO.

OKAY. TERRIFIC.

MEET YOU AT
THE TUMBLEWEED STABLES AT 3:00?

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.

GOOD NIGHT, JOSH.

GOOD NIGHT, SUSAN.

OH.
HERE, GOT IT.

[ CAR DOOR OPENS ]
[ CHUCKLES ]

[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]

[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

SUSAN? WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

[ INDISTINCT SPEAKING
OVER P.A. ]

I'M SORRY. I COULDN'T WAIT
FOR YOU TO GET OFF DUTY.

MY WORST FEAR
HAS BEEN REALIZED.

WHAT HAPPENED?
THE ROMANCE-4-YOU.com
COMPUTER WORKED.

I JUST HAD
THE BEST DATE OF MY LIFE.

WELL, DON'T WORRY.
IT WASN'T ENTIRELY THE COMPUTER.

MY PRAYERS HELPED.

OH, I CAN'T WAIT
FOR YOU TO MEET HIM.

HIS NAME'S JOSH.

I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU
LIKE THIS.

[ SIGHS ]
NEVER FELT LIKE THIS.

MAYBE YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION
IS GONNA COME TRUE

AND YOU'LL BE KISSING
YOUR PERFECT MATCH

AT MIDNIGHT
ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.

OKAY.
DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY.

WELL, IT DOESN'T HURT
TO PUT IT OUT THERE.

SO, WHAT DOES THIS JOSH OF YOURS
DO FOR A LIVING?

I DON'T KNOW.
WE DIDN'T DISCUSS THAT.

DIVERSE INTERESTS --
I DON'T KNOW.

I'LL CHECK HIM OUT
ONLINE.

UH...
WHAT?

OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY.
I GOT TO GO BACK TO WORK.

WHATEVER IT IS,
I'M SURE IT'S PERFECT.

OKAY. BYE.

Call me!

"SHERMAN" --
MAYBE "JOSHUA SHERMAN."

BABY?

BABY!
[ LAUGHS ]

WE'RE BACK FROM VEGAS!

IN THE FLESH!

WELL! YOU TWO LOOK LIKE YOU HIT
THE JACKPOT

[ CHUCKLES ]

WE GOT MARRIED.
WE GOT HITCHED!

YOU WHAT?!
WE GOT MARRIED.

WE DID. UH, NOT THAT WE --
WE PLANNED IT OR ANYTHING.

WE SAW THIS COUPLE
WALK OUT OF THE ELVIS CHAPEL,

AND SUDDENLY
IT HIT US JUST LIKE THAT.

I SAID, "ARTIE,
WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

LET'S GO FOR IT
RIGHT NOW."

SURE!

AND YOUR PLANS?

W-WHAT ABOUT "KAY'S GOWN"?

KAY'S GOW-- YOU KNOW WHAT?

ON YOUR BIG DAY, SHOULD YOU WANT
IT, YOU CAN HAVE KAY'S GOWN.

BUT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
YOUR DREAM WEDDING.

SWEETHEART,
IT'S NOT ABOUT A GOWN.

MY DREAM IS REALLY
ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE

THAT I HAVE
A CHANCE AT HAPPINESS WITH.

REALLY.
OH.

CONGRATULATIONS.

OH, BUT I DON'T WANT YOU
TO FEEL LEFT OUT.

OH, NO, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
A DIVINE RECEPTION NEXT MONTH --

PARTY OF THE YEAR.

HEY, COME ON.
HOW ABOUT A HUG FOR OLD ARTIE?

OH.

[ CHUCKLES ]

CONGRATULATIONS, ARTHUR.
WELCOME TO THE FAMILY.

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU
PROUD.

COME ON.
LET'S CELEBRATE.

COME ON, BABY.

BUT I-I'VE GOT A --

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

Josh:
HERE WE GO! SMILE!

[ CAMERA CLICKS ]

HA! LIKE A POSTCARD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

LOOKS LIKE
YOUR DATE'S HERE, DAD.

[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LONGRIDE,
SO ENJOY YOURSELVES.

YEAH. IF YOU'RE LATE GETTING
BACK, WE'LL JUST WAIT HERE.

AS LONG AS IT TAKES.
NO PROBLEM.

HI, GIRLS.
HEY.

HI.

GOING FOR A RIDE?

YEAH.

OKAY, HAVE A GOOD ONE.

BYE, DAD.
BYE, SUSAN.

BYE.

BYE.
READY?

YES, SIR.
OKAY.

[ SIGHS ]

THIS IS
SO UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL.

YEAH.

IT'S A REALLY SPECIAL
PLACE.

ARE YOU HUNGRY?

I MADE, UM,
SANDWICHES.

YOU DID?

MM-HMM.

I HAVE TURKEY...

AND TURKEY.

OH, I'LL TAKE,
UM, TURKEY.

OKAY.
EITHER ONE.

SO, DO YOU COME HIKING HERE
WITH THE GIRLS A LOT?

NO, NOT REALLY.

I USED TO COME HERE
A LOT.

WELL, I'M HAPPY
YOU BROUGHT ME.

I'M HAPPY YOU CAME.

ME TOO.

REALLY?

Jennifer:
WELL, THEY'RE LATE GETTING BACK.
THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.

Cassie:
AN EXCELLENT SIGN.

YOU THINK SHE'S REALLY
GONNA MAKE US TELL HIM
EVERYTHING TODAY?

SHE'S A DECISIVE WOMAN,

AND THE DEAL WAS,
WE TELL HIM AFTER TWO DATES.

THIS IS
THE SECOND DATE.

LET'S HOPE
IT WENT REALLY WELL.

HERE THEY ARE.

HI!
HI.

HI!

HOW WAS YOUR HIKE?

IT WAS GREAT.
NICE.

SO, YOU'RE GONNA BE
DOING IT AGAIN?

SEEING HOW YOU BOTH SEEM
TO HAVE ENJOYED IT SO MUCH?

THESE GUYS ARE BETTER
THAN A DATING SERVICE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WE HAD A GREAT TIME.

AND, YES, WE HAVE PLANS
TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN.

EXCELLENT!
AWESOME!

AND I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU WANTED TO SAY TO YOUR DAD.

THERE IS?

OH, MR. SHERMAN,
CAN I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU?

SURE, BEN. WHAT'S UP?

UH, SNOWFLAKE.

WHAT ABOUT HER?

UH, SHE'S GETTING ON IN AGE
AND GETS TIRED REAL EASY.

WE'VE DECIDED
TO RETIRE HER.

NO!

YOU CAN'T DO THAT! CASSIE'S BEEN
RIDING HER FOREVER!

BELIEVE ME, MR. SHERMAN, THIS
HAS NOT BEEN AN EASY DECISION.

WE JUST CAN'T AFFORD
TO KEEP HER.

DO SOMETHING!

I'M SORRY.

DAD. THEY'LL MAKE GLUE
OUT OF HER.

I READ IT IN A BOOK.

HONEY...

[ CRYING ]

CASSIE?

[ Crying ]
I'M SORRY, SNOWFLAKE.

I'M SO SORRY.

I'M SORRY, GIRL.

I LOVE YOU.

[ SNIFFLES ]

Susan: MORNING. COULD YOU GET ME
THE FILE ON MS. MOSKOVITZ?

MS. MOSKOVITZ
IS NO LONGER WITH US.

WHAT?!
THAT SWEET OLD LADY DIED?

WORSE. SHE SIGNED UP
WITH ROMANCE-4-YOU.com.

DO WE HAVE TO LOSE
ALL OUR CLIENTS

BEFORE YOU FINALLY WRITE
THAT EXPOSé?

I'M SORRY.

I'VE BEEN A LITTLE...
DISTRACTED.

IT'S TIME TO FOCUS,
BOSS.

LOOK -- OUR FRIENDS
AT ROMANCE-4-YOU.com

HAVE THESE NEW
GLOSSY BROCHURES OUT.

USE THAT FOR INSPIRATION.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

[ SIGHS ]

[ GROANS LIGHTLY ]

[ DIALING ]

[ Ringing ]

Josh: HI.

HI. DID I
CATCH YOU AT WORK?

NOPE, JUST TOOK A LONG LUNCH
TO TAKE CARE OF SOME BUSINESS.

THE SHERMANS ARE NOW
PROUD OWNERS OF A HORSE.

YOU BOUGHT SNOWFLAKE?

HOW COULD I RESIST?
YOU SAW CASSIE'S FACE.

[ CHUCKLES ]
DO THE GIRLS KNOW?

No, no. I thought I would
tell them tonight at dinner.

[ HORSE NEIGHS ]

COME OVER.

OH, IT'S A --
IT'S A FAMILY OCCASION.

AND I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU
TO BE A PART OF IT.

I'D LOVE TO, YEAH.

Carla:
FOCUS, BOSS!

I'M FOCUSED.
DON'T WORRY.

I'M WORKING.
I KIND OF HAVE TO GET BACK.

I WAS JUST --

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

ANYWAY, UM...

JOSH?

UM, I WANTED TO ASK YOU --
I FORGOT TO ASK YOU --

WHAT -- WHAT LINE OF WORK
DID YOU SAY YOU WERE IN?

I-I'M IN BUSINESS.

YOU KNOW...

DIVERSE INTERESTS.

YEAH.

DIVERSE INTERESTS.

RIGHT.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

UM, I'LL SEE YOU
AT 7:00.

OKAY. BYE.

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

OHH.

THE ROAD TO LOVE
IS LITTERED WITH DASHED HOPES

"AND TRAMPLED EXPECTATIONS.

IF YOU'RE NOT READY TO BE HURT,BETTER TO STAY OUT OTHE GAME."

[ DOOR OPENS ]

I KNEW IT WAS
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

IS THIS
YOURJOSH SHERMAN?

NO. THERE MUST BE
SOME EXPLANATION.

THERE SURE IS.

JOSH SHERMAN, C.E.O. OF
ROMANCE-4-YOU.com, TRICKED ME.

HE LIED TO ME.

AND WORST OF ALL,
HE GOT HIS DAUGHTERS INVOLVED.

WHY?

BUSINESS. HE WANTED TO GET RID
OF THE COMPETITION.

IT'S TOTALLY UNETHICAL.

BUT YOU WERE DOING
THE SAME THING.

THAT'S DIFFERENT.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHO HE WAS.

MAYBE HE DIDN'T KNOW
THAT Y-YOU'RE YOU.

MAYBE IT WAS
A COINCIDENCE.

ARE YOU OKAY?

[ SIGHS ] YEAH.

I MEAN, AT FIRST,
I FELT LIKE A TRUCK FELL ON ME.

I COULD BARELY BREATHE.

I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.

OH, I GOT TO GO.

I'M GONNA BE LATE TO JOSH'S
FOR DINNER.

YOU'RE GOING TO JOSH'S
FOR DINNER?

OF COURSE.
HE INVITED ME.
AND?

AND HE DOESN'T KNOW
I'M ONTO HIM.

I'M GONNA PLAY THIS GAME
TO THE BITTER END.

I'VE GOT
AN EXPOSé TO WRITE.
SUSAN, DON'T.

TONIGHT I'M GOING TO GATHER
ALL THE AMMUNITION I NEED

TO BLOW ROMANCE-4-YOU.com
RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER.

REMEMBER TO SAVE ROOM
FOR A VERY SPECIAL DESSERT.

I'M NOT HUNGRY,
DAD.

OH, YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE.
I GUARANTEE IT.

HERE, GIRLS,
LET ME TAKE YOUR PLATES.

HERE IT IS!

VOILà!

DOES THIS MEAN --
DID YOU BUY HER?

THAT'S RIGHT. SNOWFLAKE IS
THE NEWEST MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

WE HAVE TO GET
A NEW BLANKET AND A SADDLE.

YES.

IT COST ME A FORTUNE
IN BOARDING FEES.

OH, I'M SURE YOU CAN FIND
THE MONEY SOMEWHERE,

AMONG ALL YOUR
DIVERSE INTERESTS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WE CAN KEEP HER HERE.

SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK THE
NEIGHBORS ARE GONNA APPRECIATE

A HORSE IN THE GARAGE.

AND I NEED THE SPACE
FOR MY CAR IN FOUR YEARS.

AS LONG AS I CAN RIDE HER
ANYTIME I WANT.

WELL, THAT'S THE IDEA.

HERE YOU GO.

TAKE YOUR CAKE
AND GO WATCH SOME TV.

THANKS, DADDY.
ALL RIGHT.

AH. GRACIAS.

MM-HMM.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT US.
Jennifer:
ENJOY YOURSELVES.

OKAY.

OH, MAN.
WELL, THAT WENT WELL.

YES, IT DID.

SO, DO YOU NEED
SOME HELP CLEANING UP?

NOPE. FINE.

ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH. I'M RESPONSIBLE.

IS, UM...
IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

YOU SEEM A LITTLE --

OH, SURE. I'M TIRED.

OH.
LONG WEEK.

I'M SURE YOU HAVE SOME INSIGHT
ON HOW DIFFICULT MY WORK CAN BE.

ACTUALLY, I HAVE NO IDEA
ABOUT YOUR LINE OF WORK.

I THINK YOU DO.

IS IT --
IS IT A BUSY TIME RIGHT NOW?

[ LAUGHS ] WELL, NOT AS BUSY
AS IT COULDBE.

COMPETITION, YOU KNOW.

YEAH. OH, YEAH.
[ CHUCKLES ]

WELL, YOU HAVE VALENTINE'S DAY
COMING UP. THAT'LL BE GOOD.

SURE, A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE
LOOKING FOR LOVE THEN.

AND THAT'S
WHEN BUSINESS IS BEST, RIGHT?

YEAH.

A LOT OF LONELY PEOPLE.

THEY CAN BE
GOOD FOR BUSINESS.

GREATFOR BUSINESS.

YEAH.

OH, LET'S NOT TALK
ABOUT WORK.

YOU KNOW WHAT, JOSH?
I GOT TO GO.

I HAVE TO BE AT WORK
EARLY.

WELL, LET ME
WALK YOU OUT.

SAY GOODBYE
TO THE GIRLS.

WELL, YOU'LL BE SEEING THEM
AGAIN SOMETIME SOON.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ PARKING BRAKE CLICKS ]

[ SIGHS ]

BAD DREAM?

NO.
I COULDN'T SLEEP.

I KEPT THINKING
ABOUT TONIGHT.

IT'S PLEASANT
HAVING HER AROUND HERE.

YEAH.
SHE MAKES DAD HAPPY.

[ SIGHS ]

DO YOU THINK MOM MINDS?

NO.
I THINK SHE'S GLAD.

SHE WANTS FOR DAD
TO BE HAPPY, TOO.

JEN?

YEAH?

YOU KNOW HOW I DON'T HAVE
ANY MEMORIES OF MOM?

MM-HMM.

WELL...

THERE ISONE
I THINK ABOUT SOMETIMES.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE A DREAM.

WHAT IS IT?

[ SIGHS ]

I REMEMBER
I WAS IN MY CRIB...

LISTENING TO THIS
BEAUTIFUL VOICE TALKING TO ME.

YEAH.

MOM HAD
A REAL PRETTY VOICE.

IT MADE YOU FEEL
ALL WARM AND SAFE,

LIKE NOTHING
COULD EVER HURT YOU.

SHE WAS TELLING ME A STORY,
SOMETHING ABOUT A PRINCESS.

WHEN IT WAS OVER, SHE LEANED
DOWN TO KISS ME GOOD NIGHT,

AND HER HAIR
TOUCHED MY FACE.

IT WAS SOFT LIKE SILK.

THAT'S A NICE MEMORY.

[ SIGHS ]

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.
I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

Susan:
"SUSAN'S HEART HINTS."

"TODAY'S HINT IS ABOUT TRYING TO MAKE A MATCH

"THE ROMANCE-4-YOU.com WAY.

"MANY SINGLES,
DESPERATE TO CONNECT,

"HAVE TURNED
TO THIS NEW COMPANY

"HOPING THAT A COMPUTER
WILL FIND A WAY

"TO BRIGHTEN
THEIR SOLITARY LIVES.

"MY SECRET RESEARCH INTO THE
WORKINGS OF ROMANCE-4-YOU.com

"HAS UNCOVERED EVIDENCE TO SHOW THAT THEY ARE HOPING IN VAIN.

"THE THREE UNSUITABLE MATCHES
SET UP FOR ME

"BY ROMANCE-4-YOU.com --

"ONE WITH A COLLEGE STUDENT,

"THE OTHER
WITH A FOOT FETISHIST,

"AND THE THIRD WITH A MAN

"WHO WAS NOT AT ALL
WHAT HE CLAIMED TO BE --

"PROVIDE AMPLE PROOF

THAT MACHINES CANNOT REPLACE
THE PERSONAL TOUCH."

MARTIN, LOOK UP A PROFILE
OF A CLIENT

BY THE NAME OF SUSAN FLOWERS.

PRINT OUT THE INFORMATION
AND BRING IT TO ME IMMEDIATELY.

"THE SAD TRUTH

"IS THAT COMPANIES
LIKE ROMANCE-4-YOU.com

"ARE ALL ABOUT BUSINESS.

"THE BEST WAY TO SET UP A MATCH

"IS STILL
THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY --

"WORKING WITH PEOPLE WHO CARE, THE WAY WE'VE BEEN DOING

"WITH UNRIVALED SUCCESS
FOR A DECADE

AT HEARTS & FLOWERS."

THANKS, ELIZABETH.

BUT SHOULDN'T I --

NO, IT'S -- PLEASE.

[ SCOFFS ]

FOOL.

YES!

[ LAUGHS ]

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

I KNOW -- I'M LATE.

I TAKE BACK EVERY TERRIBLE THING
I EVER SAID ABOUT YOU.

THANKS.

THE PHONE'S
BEEN RINGING OFF THE HOOK.

I'M INTO NEXT MONTH
ON APPOINTMENTS.

COULD YOU MAKE ME
A CUP OF COFFEE?

ANYTHING YOU WANT.

BLACK.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

HEARTS & FLOWERS.
MAY I HELP YOU?

Josh: "DEAR SUSAN...

"I'VE BEEN WRITING AND
REWRITING THIS ALL DAY LONG.

IT FINALLY COMES DOWN
TO ONE WORD."

"I'M DISAPPOINTED.

DISAPPOINTED IN YOU."

"DISAPPOINTED IN YOU..."

"DISAPPOINTED THAT THE FUTURE
I DARED TO DREAM ABOUT

"FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN SIX YEARS WAS JUST THAT.

A DREAM."

[ CASSIE LAUGHS ]

I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE HAVE SNOWFLAKE.

YOU ARE SO LUCKY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I KNOW.

NOW I NEED
TO GET A HORSE.

I KNOW.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]

NOW THAT SNOWFLAKE'S OURS,
I CAN VISIT HER ANYTIME, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

JEN AND I CAN EVEN RIDE
OUR BIKES OVER ON A WEEKDAY.

IT'S TOO FAR.

CAN WE HAVE A PICNIC
IN THE PARK THIS WEEKEND?

YEAH,
SUSAN CAN BRING HER DOG.

SHE SAYS SHE HAS A VERY
INTELLIGENT DOG -- BAILEY.

I'VE ALWAYS
WANTED A DOG.

MAYBE WE'LL HAVE ONE SOON.

SO, DAD,
WHY DON'T YOU CALL SUSAN?

YEAH, SEE IF SUNDAY'S GOOD
FOR HER.

GUYS, I DON'T THINK THAT
WE'RE GONNA BE SEEING
MUCH OF SUSAN AGAIN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THINGS DIDN'T WORK OUT.

BUT SHE'S PERFECT
FOR YOU.

WHAT HAPPENED?

IT'S --
IT'S A GROWN-UP THING.

DAD, COME ON.
WE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW.

[ Voice breaking ] I THOUGHT
SHE WAS GONNA BE OUR NEW MOM.

WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU
AN IDEA LIKE THAT?

DINNER'S OVER.

TAKE YOUR PLATES TO THE KITCHEN,
BRUSH YOUR TEETH, GO TO BED.

Susan:
IT HURTS SO MUCH.

OH, BABY.

MAYBE
YOU SHOULD CALL HIM.

THERE'S NOTHING TO SAY.

OH, THERE'S ALWAYS
SOMETHING TO SAY.

NOT THIS TIME.

NO?

OKAY, THEN YOU TELL ME
WHAT I CAN DO

TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

JUST HOLD ME.

SWEETHEART,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?

MADE SOME TEA FOR MY GIRLS --
WITH COOKIES.

COOKIES ARE IMPORTANT.

SO NICE.
THANK YOU.

YOU GO ON UP TO BED.
I'LL BE UP SHORTLY.

TAKE AS LONG
AS YOU WANT.

THANK YOU.

NIGHT.

Arthur:
GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, POPS.

YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM?

HMM?

I DON'T THINK I COULD HAVE FOUND
A BETTER MATCH FOR YOU

IN A MILLION YEARS.

CASSIE?

I HAD A BAD DREAM.

CAN I COME IN?

YOU ASLEEP?

[ SIGHS ]

[ HORSE GRUNTS ]

Officer:
SIR, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE
YOUR DAUGHTER MIGHT HAVE HEADED?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE
WOULD GO TO BY HERSELF
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

SHE'S NEVER DONE
ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE.

[ SNOWFLAKE NEIGHING ]

[ CRYING ]

WELL, DOES SHE HAVE
ANY FRIENDS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD,

OR MAYBE A CLASSMATE?

MELISSA'S DOWN
THE ROAD.

NO.

NO, DAD,
I KNOW WHERE SHE IS.

[ THUD ]

[ SNOWFLAKE WHINNIES ]

[ SIREN WAILING ]

Man:
COMING THROUGH!

MAKE SOME ROOM HERE!
MAKE SOME ROOM! LET'S GO!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

[ INDISTINCT SPEAKING
ON TELEVISION]

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

HELLO?

SUSAN,
I'M SORRY TO WAKE YOU UP,

BUT THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL
WHO'S BEEN BROUGHT IN

WITH A HEAD INJURY.

HER NAME
IS CASSANDRA SHERMAN.

Her dad
is Josh Sherman.

OH, OKAY.
I'LL -- I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

[ MONITOR BEEPING ]

[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

HOW IS SHE?

SHE'S STABLE,
BUT SHE'S STILL UNCONSCIOUS.

SHE NEEDS TO BE
MONITORED CLOSELY.

WHAT HAPPENED?

SHE DECIDED
TO GO FOR A HORSEBACK RIDE

IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT.

[ SIGHS ]
SNOWFLAKE?

HER DAD AND HER SISTER
ARE BACK WITH HER.

[ BEEPING CONTINUES ]

[ SIGHS ]

SUSAN,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I-I CAME TO SEE CASSIE.

SUSAN. YOU CAME.

ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH.

I THINK SHE WENT TO SEE
SNOWFLAKE BECAUSE SHE
WAS SAD ABOUT YOU GUYS.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED,
ISN'T IT?

YOU TOLD DAD WHAT WE DID,
AND HE GOT MAD, RIGHT?

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

[ MOANS LIGHTLY ]

CASSIE?

CASS? CASS? CASSIE?

CASS?
CASSIE?

I'LL NEVER BE MEAN TO YOU AGAIN.
I PROMISE.

CASSIE?

COME BACK TO US,
SWEETHEART.

[ BEEPING CONTINUES ]

HERE YOU ARE.

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

YOUR PRAYERS
MUST HAVE BEEN HEARD.

CASSIE JUST
REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS.

SHE'S GONNA BE OKAY?

WELL, SHE'S GONNA HAVE
A NASTY BUMP ON HER HEAD
FOR A COUPLE WEEKS,

BUT SHE'S GONNA BE
GOOD AS NEW.

[ SIGHS ]

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

SUSAN.

YEAH?

I WAS WATCHING JOSH
WITH HIS CHILDREN.

THAT'S A GOOD MAN.

I KNOW.

BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S...

IT'S OVER.

SUSAN...

YOU CAN FOOL A LOT OF PEOPLE --
MAYBE EVEN YOURSELF --

BUT I'VE KNOWN YOU TOO LONG
FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO FOOL ME.

HONEY,
YOU'RE NOT HAPPY.

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE
FOR THE FAMILY YOU SHOULD HAVE.

THIS IS LOVE.

OHH...

YOU, YOU, YOU.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

[ CHUCKLES ]

I KNOW.

Cassie: AND YOU'RE POSITIVE
THAT SNOWFLAKE'S OKAY?

Josh: WELL, SHE'S IN
BETTER SHAPE THAN I AM.

HOSPITAL FOOD
IS AWESOME.

YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO FIND
A NEW WORD.

SHE'S BACK TO NORMAL.

[ CHUCKLES ]
YEAH, SHE'S BACK TO NORMAL.

I NEED YOU TO CLEAR
SOMETHING UP FOR ME.

YOU SAID SOMETHING TO SUSAN
THAT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT.

WELCOME TO THE CLUB.

YOU SAID TO SUSAN
THAT I MUST BE MAD

ABOUT SOMETHING
THAT SHE TOLD ME THAT YOU DID.

WHAT?

SUSAN DIDN'T TELL YOU
ANYTHING ABOUT US?

ABOUT THE PROFILES
AND THE E-MAILS?

NO, SHE DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT
PROFILES OR E-MAILS. WHAT?

[ SIGHS ]

DAD,
YOU BETTER SIT DOWN.

OR MAYBE
LIE DOWN ON THE BED.

WHAT HAVE YOU TWO DONE?
IT WAS CASSIE'S IDEA.

NO, SHE'S THE ONE
WHO PUT THE THOUGHT IN MY HEAD.

NO, I DIDN'T!
YES, YOU --

ENOUGH.

ONE AT A TIME --
YOU FIRST.

WELL...

WE DECIDED
THAT YOU SHOULD DATE AGAIN.

WE NEED A WOMAN
AROUND THE HOUSE.

IT'S GETTING LONELY.

SO WE WENT TO ROMANCE-4-YOU.com
AND MADE A PROFILE.

THAT'S HOW WE MET SUSAN.

OH, GIRLS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

BUT SHE'S REALLY NICE,
RIGHT?

AND PRETTY.

[ Chuckling ] YEAH.

[ CHUCKLING ]

[ KEYS CLACKING ]

Susan:
"SUSAN'S HEART HINTS."

"FINDING REAL LOVE
IS HARD THESE DAYS --

MAYBE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE."

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HI.

HI.

"SUSAN'S HEART HINTS."

"FINDING REAL LOVE
IS HARD THESE DAYS --

"MAYBE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE.

"BUT WATCHING
MY MOTHER'S UNABASHED JOY

"WHEN SHE HUGS THE MAN

"WHO IS TOTALLY WRONG,
YET TOTALLY RIGHT FOR HER

"OR MY BEST FRIEND'S EYES
LIGHT UP

"WHEN SHE SPEAKS
ABOUT HER LOVE FOR GOD

"OR THE FACE OF THE MAN I LOVE TRANSFORMED

"WHEN HE LOOKS
AT HIS TWO DAUGHTERS,

"I REALIZE THAT
IT'S EVERYWHERE AROUND US.

"SO, HERE'S MY LAST HINT
FOR THIS YEAR --

"BE READY FOR ANYTHING IN LIFE.

"DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR WITHOUT SEEING WHO'S ON THE OTHER SIDE.

"BECAUSE LOVE CAN APPEAR
WHERE YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

"AND IF YOU CAN,

"TRY TO MARRY THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.

THAT WAY, HE'LL NEVER
FORGET YOUR ANNIVERSARY."

"AND THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT WE DID --

"ONE YEAR LATER,
ON NEW YEAR'S EVE,

WHEN I FINALLY GOT
MY KISS AT MIDNIGHT."

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ SIGHS ]

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

[ BARKS ]

--Captions by VIT--
www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
LARRY LEVINSON PRODUCTIONS