Original subtitles

(99 LUFTBALLONS PLAYING)

- (SPITS) - (ALL LAUGHING)

Here we go.

(ALL CHEERING)

Baby, Adam, come out and play with me.

No!

- (GLASSES SHATTER) - ALL: Whoa!

- Whoa! - (GIGGLES)

KAREN: Oh, shit.

- Oh. - I did not see that coming.

- Hannah. - Ew. Ew.

Get a cab, get a cab.

- You okay? No, no, no, no. - What's she doing?

What are you doing? Hannah, where do you live?

KAREN: Where do you need to go, Hannah?

Where does she live? Okay, I'm gonna call Uber.

My parents live in Michigan.

- KEVIN: Great. - Taxi!

(KEYS JANGLING)

- JOE: This is it. - (KEY CLATTERS)

Okay, you all right?

Let me just close the door.

- All right. - I just have to use the bathroom.

- Yeah, it's... - And then we can have a conversation.

Okay, well, it's right over there.

- Get it all out. - (SPITTING)

- I'm sorry. - No, this...

I didn't even have that much stuff to drink.

Yeah, but maybe your tolerance isn't as...

This is not good.

Yeah, all right. Let's get you cleaned up, okay?

- Let's get... - I must smell so bad. I'm so embarrassed.

- It's all right. You smell fine. - (COUGHS)

(SPITS)

Okay, yeah, drink that up.

Drink it. Drink it, drink it.

(SPUTTERING)

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

- Joe! - Sorry!

Joe, I just wanted to thank you so much for taking such good care of me.

Of course.

Of course, I would do it for anybody.

So, are you in for a little more?

Because it's an important investment in our space's future.

My appointment just got here.

Okay, love you. Bye, Daddy.

(BEEPS)

- Marnie, welcome. - Soo Jin.

- Oh, my gosh. - Yeah.

Look at this space, seriously.

This is amazing. It's right next to Opening Ceremony.

Opening Cemetery. Their prices will be the death of me.

Sorry we're in such disarray.

- There just, like, aren't enough hours in a day. - Are you kidding?

I can't be a woman and a girlfriend

and a gallerist and an electronic musician and all these things at once.

It's too much for one person. I love your beanie.

Listen, I get it.

I didn't even know all of those things could be in one person.

- That's... Thank you. - Yeah.

Um, I just understand, mainly because I'm trying to juggle...

So, are you really interested in a job?

Oh. We're just gonna do this right now.

Yeah, okay. Um...

I find the idea of being part of the start of a gallery just so exciting.

Finding an archiving system that works,

establishing a Web presence.

Totally, all of that.

I've been saying all along that what I really need

is an assistant who's more qualified than I am.

Assistant?

I mean, it's a really small staff.

My best homo friend Jeremy is already gallery director,

so, yeah, I thought you'd start off as an assistant...

My assistant.

- How old are you? - Two-four, girl.

But for the cred and intrigue of the gallery, I'm gonna tell people I'm 22.

So, are you with me?

Adam!

- Adam, I'm so sorry. - Where the fuck were you?

I'm so, so, so, so sorry.

What happened?

I got so drunk and had to fall asleep at my friend from work's place.

It was so irresponsible. I haven't acted that way, like, ever.

Well, did you have fun with your work friends?

I mean, I barfed. Were you worried about me?

Like, I slept at Joe's house.

He's a guy from my work who's, you know, a guy, so...

What do you think about this, up or down?

I mean, not the bottom part, obviously. It's rehearsal clothes.

But this is the coat that I'm actually gonna wear during the show.

They said I could take it home and break it in for a couple weeks,

so I'm just gonna be doing stuff I normally do around the house

like, uh, organizing my newspapers

and eating muffins and going to the bathroom,

I'm just gonna be doing it in a coat.

So, you think up or down looks better?

Down.

Okay, that's what I thought, too.

(WOMAN SINGING MOURNFULLY ON RADIO)

I got so clean for you.

Oh, that must feel nice.

I was very sick last night.

- Come here. - It's a miracle I'm walking.

Come here, silly.

Come here, come here, come here.

Ooh. You do smell clean.

I told you, I'm very clean.

Oh, yeah.

Mmm. Ah!

- I love you. - I love you.

(WHISPERS) I love you.

(GROANS)

- What? - (INHALES SHARPLY)

I don't want to get sticky before rehearsal.

(LAUGHS) Are you serious?

Yeah, I have to leave in a half an hour.

Well, I wasn't planning anything that fucking complicated.

Aw... (LAUGHING)

- I still love you. - I still love you.

It's not a big deal. Whatever.

You still coming to rehearsal?

Yeah, of course. Of course, of course.

- I have to... I have to go get dry. - (GRUNTS)

All right.

I'm obviously coming to rehearsal.

Now I lost my spot.

- MARNIE: No, it's good. - (PLAYING GUITAR)

- Got any lyrics? - Um...

Anything you've been working on?

Yeah, I have this, um, journal

where I just write little, like, ideas and thoughts down.

- Here, let me see that. - Um... Oh.

Fuck, you got some darkness in you.

A lot of that is stuff I wrote on Ambien.

Actually, you know what? This is really...

No, no, this is actually really cool.

This is actually really beautiful.

This could really work perfectly, I think.

(SINGING) There's nothing I can say now

We've been through this before

That's actually not bad.

This is really beautiful. You have a gift for this. You're, uh...

You're a wordsmith.

Now I'm sure that's wrong.

No, it's not wrong.

You just need to believe in yourself a little bit.

All right, you know what?

We're gonna do something. I'm gonna play and you just sing.

Sing whatever comes to you.

- Just... - Go.

(PLAYS GUITAR)

(SINGING TIMIDLY) Swimming pools and can...

No, sing, Marnie. Come on, sing.

Okay.

(PLAYING GUITAR)

(SINGING) I see you on the mountains

We're flying on a jet plane

There's flowers in the attic

Yes.

But I haven't met Tom yet

Who's Tom?

I don't know, I'm just making things up.

I've never said the word "jet plane" before. (CHUCKLES)

I'm terrible at this. I can't even think of a real person I know.

Stop that. Stop already.

You know what? I'm gonna do it.

You're gonna see what bad actually sounds like.

(MAKING SILLY WARM-UP SOUNDS)

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

(PLAYING GUITAR)

(SINGING) I need you in my bed now

Can't get you off of my mind

I'm dying of this thirst, girl

(VOICE CRACKING) This thirsty, thirsty thirst, girl

Wow. (CHUCKLES)

What were you singing this song about?

Uh, my girlfriend, um, Clementine.

She's gotta travel a lot for work and...

I really miss her.

Yeah, I bet.

It's the worst.

JASPER: You do realize Rupert Murdoch owns

even newspapers he doesn't own.

He's like the godfather of all,

and none of the information we read can even make a mild claim to objectivity.

- I'd like to start my own newspaper. - You would?

One that told the truth once in a while, you know?

Yeah.

- Just what was up around the neighborhood. - Yeah, neighborhood.

You know, who died, who started a garden, you know?

And there will be no photographs, only drawings.

Only drawings.

- And it would be called The Daily Truth. - Yeah!

(LAUGHING)

- Isn't that fantastic? (CHUCKLES) - Oh, yeah!

- Yeah. - Shoshanna!

(SHOUTING) Shoshanna!

Hi, hi. We just wanted to say hi. (LAUGHS)

- Hi. - (CELLPHONE RINGING)

Gotta see a man about a horse, okay.

I'll wedge the door open so I can buzz myself.

(GROANS)

Fuck my cunt.

(GROANS) Ah.

(DOOR OPENS)

- (SIGHING) - (DOOR CLOSES)

JESSA: Jesus, what a sad, sad man.

(SNIFFLES) He has no one.

His ex-wife remarried a barrister.

His daughter lives right here in New York,

- but he's too scared to even call her. - (SIGHS)

He used to be a very successful hotelier.

Now all he has to show for it is a box full of slippers.

Don't tell him I have this, okay? (SNORTS)

(JESSA SNORTING)

There's your way. In you go.

(IN BRITISH ACCENT) Whoa. Easy there, mate.

- She ain't doing you no harm. - (DOOR OPENS)

MAN: Who you calling mate?

You wanna stand up for her, do ya? Put up your hands.

- Who are you? - HANNAH: Me?

Oh, I'm Adam's girlfriend.

- Who? - I'm Adam's girlfriend.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Why are you here?

I'm here just to check out rehearsal.

No, we can't have anybody watching rehearsals. I'm sorry.

Okay, well, Adam, uh, mentioned that it would be good for me to stop by.

Yeah, I mean, we talked about this being a possibility, Hannah.

You know, I'm at work and, you know...

HANNAH: Oh, okay. Okay.

All right.

That romance, that mystery, that thrill...

- That goes. - I gotcha.

And you know what you're left with?

Trying to seduce him when he just wants you to leave

so they can jerk off and take the bus to rehearsal.

Ugh. The bus.

There's nothing weird or exciting about our sexual life anymore.

He's treating me like an ottoman with a vagina.

That's a disgusting image.

(MUFFLED MUTTERING)

At the end of my relationship with Pal,

I thought he had just totally lost interest in my body.

- Are you serious? - I was just, like, part of his routine.

And that made you feel fucking terrible, right?

Yeah, and also confused

because I'm so much more traditionally attractive than he is.

The thing about Adam is, like, he's one of the best people I've ever known.

Is he?

Yeah.

Okay. I don't really know him that well.

He's hard to get to know, but once you do get to know him,

you can't imagine your life without him,

and so I just know I need to do something that's gonna

make him remember why we love each other.

You should fight for it, if this is what you want.

I'm just so sick of talking.

Well, then, go do something.

(CELLPHONE CHIMING)

Hey.

ADAM: Yo, on a quick break.

I was wondering if you wanted me to pick up dinner.

You know what? I actually already made a plan for us.

Why don't you just meet me at the Globe at 9:00?

What kind of food do they serve?

Um, it's not really a food plan, so eat first, okay?

- Okay. I gotta go. - Okay, I love you, bye.

(LINE BEEPING)

MARNIE: Yo, it's Marnie. Leave me a message.

- (BEEPS) - Hey, Marn, it's me. Weird question...

Can I borrow your apartment for something?

Please call me back, um, immediately.

Thank you.

(PIANO PLAYING)

Why are we here?

Shoshanna's gonna buy us a steak.

- Oh, I'm gonna feed it to you like a baby bird. - (JESSA IMITATES BIRD PEEPING)

You said the meat would be waiting.

Yeah, you said that.

Okay, so this isn't actually about food.

There can be food, but it's not about food.

Daddy?

Dottie?

Surprise!

Hello.

- Hi, I'm Dot. - What the fuck is wrong with you?

You know this is not a good idea.

- How did you find me? - (STUTTERS) I found her.

I told her to come. You need help.

- (SNEEZES) - SHOSHANNA: Bless you.

I can't afford to get ill right now.

We have travel plans. We're leaving.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.

I'm not contagious. My allergies are just acting up.

So is her psoriasis. Look, it's stress-related.

I'm looking at you, Dad, and I've seen this before.

Your eyes look like tiny mouse holes.

How old is she, Dad?

I'd love to know she has at least six months on me.

Please don't talk about me like I'm not even fucking here.

- Please, please, please. - I am 47 years old.

I deserve a little more respect.

She's hilarious as well.

See? See what this does? What I do to you?

This is what I do to you, which is why you can't be around me.

- You have to go. - That is the worst excuse in the world.

I should know, you've been using it on and off since I was six.

This is not happening to me. This is not happening to me.

(BABY IT'S YOU PLAYING)

Hot night.

Summer in the city.

May I join you?

The fuck?

May I join you?

Sure.

I'm sorry, I feel a bit unlike myself.

My husband, Marfaniel, was stuck at work.

He's always stuck at work, it seems, these days,

and here I am with the vodka I ordered for him.

Would you like it?

No.

Thank you. I don't drink.

(WHISPERS) Adam, it's water. I don't want to have to explain every part of it.

Would you like Jardaniel's drink?

Oh, yes.

Is there a straw?

May I be so bold as to ask what sorts of women interest you?

Married sluts like you.

Are you on crack?

I'm a married older woman!

I have a child your age!

Fuck!

Fuck!

No one talks to me like that but my husband.

Why are you in a bar acting like a little slut?

Slut? Get real.

Shut the fuck up. We're going back to my place.

Don't touch me. Let me go.

(SCREAMING) Let me go!

Excuse me, miss. Are you okay?

What's going on? Are you all right?

- No. - No, no, no, this is my... (LAUGHS)

This is my girlfriend.

(IN NEW JERSEY ACCENT) I have never seen this guy in my entire life.

We're fucking around and this is my girlfriend.

We're just fucking around.

He's been following me down the street and he grabs my tits.

- I don't know him. I'm freaking out. - (LAUGHS)

I'm gonna call the cops, seriously,

if you don't leave the lady alone.

- Do, he's been harassing me. - Sir, with all due respect,

just fuck off, please?

I can't be the first woman he's done this to.

- ADAM: Fuck! - Oh, shit.

- Please don't punch my boyfriend. - (GROANS)

What the fuck you talking about?

Break up with her. She's a fucking psycho.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

- Fuck! - Are you okay?

Did it hurt?

Did it hurt your big old head?

(LAUGHS)

I'm so sorry.

- Listen, Dot... Dottie. - No... Shh!

I know you think your father has a disease.

I don't have a disease.

- Like cancer. - I don't have cancer.

And that he needs all the help and all the support and love he can get

so he can become himself again.

I am myself.

- Exactly, exactly. - Yeah.

Oh, Dottie, don't itch.

I heard that it makes it worse. I read that on the Internet.

- Is it contagious? - It's not contagious.

For Pete's fucking sake, Dad. Why didn't you tell me you were in the city?

Because he's a bum.

He told you that himself.

Right now he is, but you can't imagine how beautiful he can be.

He'd never show you.

He trains hounds.

No, he doesn't.

- He fishes. - You train...

- Yes, I do. - He hunts, he sings...

- Like, dogs? - He wakes up early to get papers and muffins.

He watches foreign films with me and does all the voices.

He explains the universe so that black holes sound cool, not scary.

- You don't want to see me. - SHOSHANNA: No, she does.

She really, really does.

She misses you so, so much. She told me so herself.

What the fuck is wrong with you, Shoshanna?

Don't shout, don't shout.

Nothing's fucking wrong with me. What's wrong with you?

Seriously, Dottie graduated cum laude from Barnard.

She works at a travel book company.

She does magical singing on the side.

She's dating an Egyptian, so she's, like,

super knowledgeable about what's going on there.

She is an incredibly inspiring person.

An Egyptian?

This is hopeless, as usual.

Thank you for your fucking time.

I'm off to blow my nose incessantly somewhere more private.

No, please, please.

Pretend you never saw me like this.

Please.

Do you have any idea what it's like

not having a clue where you are for the last two months?

Haven't you gone through this enough?

I mean, haven't you had enough of this?

Aren't you just sick and tired of all this that you've had to put up with?

No.

- Well, I gave up on my father months ago. - Shh!

Well, he was an absolute fucking asshole.

- Please. - No.

You're my father.

Please let me help you.

How?

Get rid of her.

No, we can't get rid of her.

- She'll be fine. - I can't get rid of Jessa.

- Yes, you can. - No, I can't.

- Yes, you can. - No, I love her.

- Shoshanna's gonna look after Jessa. - Are you?

I don't mind drug addicts.

I have all sorts of friends, but she just...

Daddy, she doesn't seem like a very nice girl.

Oh, no, she's a very nice girl.

Well... Well, I hope she can find the help she needs.

Fuck.

This is quite a shithole for a hedge fund manager's wife.

Well, it's just where my husband puts me up.

It's his pied-à-terre.

Whose apartment is this?

I told you, it's my husband's pied...

No, Hannah, this is Marnie's, right?

Smells like Marnie's.

Smells like cookies and air freshener.

Who's Marnie?

You think I want to hear about your former flames at a time like this

when you've dragged me here against my goddamn will?

I told you, this is where my husband puts me.

He worries about me, a lot.

So he left some stuff for me so I wouldn't get into trouble.

Strawberries, champagne,

a dildo, which I already destroyed through overuse.

He was scared I'd get bored and go out lookin' for trouble.

And I did get bored. And I did get into trouble.

And now I find myself in quite a pickle.

Do you have a knife?

You mean a knife like this?

(GASPS)

You know what I mean.

Now cut to the chase. What are you gonna do to me?

- Show me what's under your clothes. - No.

Not now,

not ever.

Don't force me to do this. It's just my underpants.

Jesus fucking Christ. You look like a Christmas tree.

- Skirt, too. - It's humiliating...

To show off my house underwear like this.

You're so demanding.

Crawl on the bed.

(GLASSES CLINKING)

Do you want me to eat all the foods?

Put a berry in your mouth.

Swallow it whole. You can't just have part.

(PLATES CLINKING)

I'm afraid to eat the green part.

Swallow it whole. You can't just have part.

Very hard to do.

No.

That's the thing I swore would never happen.

From now on, the rule is

you can't just have part.

You have to take the whole thing or nothing.

(DISTANT SIREN WAILING)

(MAN COUGHING)

I sure as hell hope you're happy.

You look like a junkie.

I am a junkie.

- (KEYS JANGLING) - (DOOR UNLOCKS)

I usually fuck football players, but now I'm fucking the school weirdo.

- The school weirdo? - Ah!

And I'm a cheerleader

and you thought so much about fucking me before.

I thought you were a hedge fund manager's wife.

No, no, I'm Kim,

and I usually fuck football players,

but it turns out the school weirdo has an even bigger dick

than a football player, you fucking weirdo.

I'm not the fucking school weirdo.

- What? - (PANTING)

You can't change roles in the middle of everything.

It doesn't make any fucking narrative sense.

Okay, so now that you're in a play,

you're, like, the expert on what makes narrative sense?

- Hannah, what the fuck? - I'm a writer, too, you know.

What?

I was trying to do something you'd like, like have sex the way that we used to.

Why are you getting so mad at me?

What do you mean, "The way we used to"? You don't like the way we do it now?

I mean, do you?

You used to have all these ideas about me being, like, a little street slut

or, like, an orphan with a disease,

or you said I was, like, a woman with a baby's body or something.

I was just trying to do it the way that we used to,

the way that sex always was for us.

It wasn't all creepy and thought through like this.

It was just coming to us in the moment.

I don't have ideas like that.

I was just doing your ideas.

I was just doing sex the way you wanted to.

Jesus, Hannah, fuck.

The second I come, I have no fucking idea what I said.

I'm not planning anything.

But you were outside yourself.

You were outside your body watching everything.

So?

What does it matter?

If you're getting what you want, what do you care if I'm, like, in my body?

- You can't be, like, the body police. - (ADAM HUFFS)

You have an old idea of who I am.

Sex was the thing that kept me from drinking.

That's why I fucked women I met in bars or whatever.

Was it like that with all of them?

Like, the games and the ideas and the being different?

Fuck, yeah. Yes, it was.

And it was with us for a while, too.

But then we fell in love,

and then I just wanted to have sex with just you as us.

Just fuck and be sweet or whatever.

If the sex we were having wasn't working for you, I'm fucking sorry.

I didn't realize I was disappointing you so badly.

That's not what I mean.

- Was it not? - No.

You think I'm some angry fucking sociopath

who wants to meet older women in bars and intimidate them into fucking me?

Because I can do that, but I have a job to do now, and I'm trying to focus,

and I'm not here to fill up your life with fucking stories for your fucking Twitter.

I get it. I have a job, too.

It's not the same thing.

Really? That's crazy.

(GRUMBLES) I can't do this. I have to focus.

Ray said I could stay with him for a while.

Wait, what?

You're gonna go stay with Ray for a while?

Just through the rehearsal process

so I can just think about the play and not have to deal with all this drama.

What drama? This is just me.

Exactly.

I don't get it. You didn't even care about the play.

Well, but here's the thing.

I did. I always did. I do.

It feels amazing to finally care about something.

It feels amazing and scary, and I'll always regret it

if I don't give myself a chance to just do it all the way.

(QUIETLY) You sound like you're in, like, Field of Dreams.

What? It's not a joke to me.

I didn't say it was.

I'm sorry, I have to go.

(SIGHS)

Hannah, fuck.

(FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)