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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,195 --> 00:00:06,164 [upbeat music] 2 00:00:06,255 --> 00:00:10,077 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org M_I_SForEver 3 00:00:57,315 --> 00:00:58,383 [gun fires] 4 00:01:01,721 --> 00:01:04,322 [Todd] Mayor McHenry currently faces 12 counts 5 00:01:04,423 --> 00:01:07,192 of corruption for his alleged embezzlement of county funds 6 00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:10,797 and could face a maximum of 12 years in state prison. 7 00:01:11,296 --> 00:01:13,231 [host] I guess now we know who to blame for all those 8 00:01:13,331 --> 00:01:15,935 - unfilled potholes around town. - [man laughing] 9 00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:18,705 [Todd] Well, maybe they'll fill up with snowflakes tonight, right, Stan? 10 00:01:18,805 --> 00:01:21,206 [Stan laughs] That's right, Todd. 11 00:01:21,306 --> 00:01:23,475 An Alberta clipper system, a fast moving area 12 00:01:23,575 --> 00:01:26,311 of low pressure is dragging a cold front our way, 13 00:01:26,411 --> 00:01:28,480 - it's drawing moisture up from the south. - [woman breathes heavy] 14 00:01:28,580 --> 00:01:30,650 We're expecting between three and six inches 15 00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:32,819 worth of heavy, wet snow 16 00:01:32,919 --> 00:01:34,987 by the time you wake up for Christmas morning. 17 00:01:35,088 --> 00:01:36,723 [woman having an orgasm] 18 00:01:36,823 --> 00:01:37,824 [gun fires] 19 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:43,295 [Sophia] Christmas is... a happy time. 20 00:01:45,297 --> 00:01:47,800 Yep, a real happy time. 21 00:01:49,635 --> 00:01:51,436 I'm just saying, Christmas ain't like it is 22 00:01:51,536 --> 00:01:53,371 in those feel good movies. 23 00:01:53,472 --> 00:01:55,307 Sometimes it could be like, like... 24 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:57,275 [Santa] Ho, ho, ho. 25 00:01:57,375 --> 00:01:58,745 [Sophia] Like a cosmic kick in the dick. 26 00:01:58,845 --> 00:02:00,813 [Christmas music] 27 00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:02,949 When I was 11, the local county judge 28 00:02:03,049 --> 00:02:04,416 had a pretty shitty Christmas. 29 00:02:05,685 --> 00:02:07,619 It was all over the news. 30 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,789 The judge comes home late on Christmas Eve 31 00:02:09,889 --> 00:02:12,759 and there was a hit man waiting for him in the kitchen. 32 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:14,694 [gun fires] 33 00:02:15,527 --> 00:02:18,430 Could have been worse, I mean, he lived. 34 00:02:18,965 --> 00:02:21,466 That kind of stuff happens all the time in East Jesus, Ohio. 35 00:02:21,734 --> 00:02:24,302 We're just a scoot south of bumblefuck Michigan 36 00:02:24,402 --> 00:02:25,872 on the border of Pensyltucky. 37 00:02:25,972 --> 00:02:28,507 Right square in a county called trouble. 38 00:02:29,075 --> 00:02:32,044 Some pretty messed up shit goes on here, 39 00:02:32,879 --> 00:02:35,547 on a daily, like, for reals. 40 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:39,886 [upbeat country music] 41 00:02:44,857 --> 00:02:47,894 [bell chimes] 42 00:03:03,408 --> 00:03:06,311 [vomiting] 43 00:03:06,411 --> 00:03:07,512 For real? 44 00:03:07,612 --> 00:03:08,748 [girl wretches] 45 00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:16,388 Sorry. 46 00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:24,630 [sighs] 47 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,576 [upbeat music] 48 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,500 That'll be all? 49 00:04:09,842 --> 00:04:11,010 It'll be $10.99. 50 00:04:25,490 --> 00:04:26,659 Would you like a bag with that? 51 00:04:30,096 --> 00:04:31,097 Do you have a bathroom? 52 00:04:50,850 --> 00:04:51,884 [Sophia] Dear God... 53 00:04:52,818 --> 00:04:55,888 I know I don't pray much ever, at all, 54 00:04:55,988 --> 00:04:58,190 but if you really do exist, 55 00:04:58,991 --> 00:05:02,427 if you really are this all powerful, 56 00:05:02,527 --> 00:05:04,163 all knowing being, 57 00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:07,800 then please, just this once... 58 00:05:08,734 --> 00:05:09,735 help me. 59 00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:11,070 - [urinating] - Please, please, 60 00:05:11,170 --> 00:05:13,538 please, please, please, please. 61 00:05:13,639 --> 00:05:16,943 [upbeat music playing] 62 00:05:19,544 --> 00:05:21,513 Please, please... 63 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,649 [sobs] please. 64 00:05:27,585 --> 00:05:29,088 [crying] 65 00:05:34,093 --> 00:05:35,828 Oh. [sobs] 66 00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:38,931 [breathes deeply] 67 00:05:39,031 --> 00:05:41,599 [urinating] 68 00:05:50,076 --> 00:05:51,010 [passing gas] 69 00:05:51,110 --> 00:05:53,245 [flushes toilet] 70 00:05:59,617 --> 00:06:00,585 [text message alerts] 71 00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,793 Sophia! 72 00:06:08,728 --> 00:06:13,065 Me-a Sophia, you stole my heart 73 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:16,635 and then I sharded. 74 00:06:16,736 --> 00:06:18,671 - Sophia! - Oh, my God. 75 00:06:19,105 --> 00:06:20,006 What's you doing? 76 00:06:20,873 --> 00:06:22,574 Walking, what does it look like? 77 00:06:22,808 --> 00:06:24,243 It looks like you could use a lift. 78 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,644 You could use a car. 79 00:06:26,045 --> 00:06:28,247 Well, I got my driver's permit last week 80 00:06:28,347 --> 00:06:29,882 and I've been delivering papers, so... 81 00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,885 my uncle's Sunfire will be mine in no time. 82 00:06:32,985 --> 00:06:34,153 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 83 00:06:35,121 --> 00:06:38,791 By then I bet you could use a ride but I might be too busy. 84 00:06:38,891 --> 00:06:40,826 - I thought you were in love with me? - [chuckles] 85 00:06:40,926 --> 00:06:42,594 Now you're going to be too busy. 86 00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:45,297 I was in love in you, that was last year. 87 00:06:45,398 --> 00:06:47,933 Plus, I heard you're with Trey Davis now. 88 00:06:48,034 --> 00:06:49,969 We broke up. Kind of. 89 00:06:50,936 --> 00:06:53,239 - I figured. - What's that suppose to mean? 90 00:06:53,739 --> 00:06:57,109 Well, when I was coming here, I passed Madison Fatchek's house 91 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,912 and as soon as her dad leaves, I see him walk in. 92 00:07:00,346 --> 00:07:01,781 Fatchick, Fatchek? 93 00:07:01,881 --> 00:07:03,215 She's not so fat anymore. 94 00:07:04,016 --> 00:07:06,218 I heard she got her stomach stapled. 95 00:07:07,153 --> 00:07:09,288 Jimmy Stam says that she's anorexic. 96 00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:10,990 She's probably bulimic. 97 00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:13,893 Those titties, still fat though. 98 00:07:14,794 --> 00:07:16,829 [blubbers] 99 00:07:16,929 --> 00:07:18,631 You're so gross! 100 00:07:18,731 --> 00:07:19,965 Just saying. 101 00:07:20,066 --> 00:07:21,566 Isn't her dad a cop? 102 00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:24,203 He's a detective and Jimmy Stam 103 00:07:24,303 --> 00:07:26,806 told me that she helps her cousin sell weed 104 00:07:26,906 --> 00:07:28,274 and he doesn't detect shit. 105 00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:30,209 That must be where Trey's been getting faded. 106 00:07:30,309 --> 00:07:31,143 [text message alerts] 107 00:07:32,144 --> 00:07:33,312 He's probably getting more than just weed. 108 00:07:35,347 --> 00:07:37,149 - Stop. - What? 109 00:07:37,683 --> 00:07:38,583 Your shoe's untied. 110 00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,287 The stupid thing keeps coming undone. 111 00:07:44,857 --> 00:07:45,991 You should double knot it. 112 00:07:46,092 --> 00:07:47,093 You should hold on. 113 00:07:48,327 --> 00:07:52,198 [upbeat country music] 114 00:08:01,307 --> 00:08:05,044 ? It was the night before Christmas Day ? 115 00:08:05,744 --> 00:08:09,882 ? And all the elves was busy loading up the sleigh ? 116 00:08:09,982 --> 00:08:13,352 ? Jolly Santa was like getting his kicks ? 117 00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:17,823 ? And some old reindeer was out learning new tricks ? 118 00:08:18,224 --> 00:08:21,694 ? But one of the elves said "Man, we got to go ? 119 00:08:22,728 --> 00:08:26,632 ? We're way behind and it's beginning to snow" ? 120 00:08:27,032 --> 00:08:30,836 ? Just in Rudolph with the bloody nose ? 121 00:08:31,170 --> 00:08:35,141 ? Arrives Santa with his sleigh and whiskey on his clothes ? 122 00:08:35,241 --> 00:08:39,211 ? Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ? 123 00:08:40,713 --> 00:08:43,215 ? Ho, ho, ho, ho ho, ho, ho, ho ? 124 00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:48,154 ? As jolly jingle bells was ringing ? 125 00:08:48,254 --> 00:08:52,224 ? All them little children they was singing ? 126 00:08:57,329 --> 00:09:00,099 - Hi, Sophia. - Hi, Sophia. 127 00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:11,744 So when does your stepdad go to work? 128 00:09:12,077 --> 00:09:13,879 - He got fired. - Again? 129 00:09:13,979 --> 00:09:15,214 I know. Right? 130 00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:19,685 What are you doing tonight? 131 00:09:20,853 --> 00:09:23,055 - I don't know. - My parents are going to the casino 132 00:09:23,155 --> 00:09:24,757 and I know where they keep their booze 133 00:09:24,857 --> 00:09:27,426 if you want to go back to my place and Netflix and chill. 134 00:09:28,027 --> 00:09:30,462 - I can't. - Yeah, right, whatever. 135 00:09:31,463 --> 00:09:32,331 Noah. 136 00:09:33,399 --> 00:09:34,266 Noah! 137 00:09:40,973 --> 00:09:42,274 [Theresa] Why don't you cook dinner for once? 138 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:43,442 [Rayjon] Because I don't want to. 139 00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,077 Why don't you get off my nutsack? 140 00:09:45,177 --> 00:09:46,412 [Theresa] You are such a prick. 141 00:09:47,647 --> 00:09:49,782 - You want me to turn off the power again? - Woman, please. 142 00:09:49,882 --> 00:09:51,984 How many times we have to go through this, Rayjon? 143 00:09:52,084 --> 00:09:55,387 We need to save money, get that through your freaking skull. 144 00:09:55,487 --> 00:09:57,790 Yeah, and how much that outfit cost at Penny's yesterday? 145 00:09:57,890 --> 00:09:59,358 - I got that for work. - Sure you did. 146 00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:01,260 You really think it cost more than those golf clubs 147 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:02,728 you got out in the garage? 148 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,997 Again with the golf clubs. 149 00:10:05,097 --> 00:10:07,299 What'd you think, you were Tiger Woods or something? 150 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,735 You're going to sell those things tomorrow, you hear me? 151 00:10:09,835 --> 00:10:10,736 No, I ain't. 152 00:10:10,836 --> 00:10:12,171 If you don't then I will. 153 00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:14,006 Go to work, Theresa. 154 00:10:14,106 --> 00:10:16,275 At least I got a job, you freaking deadbeat. 155 00:10:16,809 --> 00:10:17,943 [sighs] 156 00:10:18,544 --> 00:10:20,379 - [mumbles] - What did you say? 157 00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:26,151 Eat... a... dick. 158 00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:27,386 [can opens] 159 00:10:28,153 --> 00:10:29,255 That's got a good beat to it, right? 160 00:10:29,355 --> 00:10:31,423 Real mature, say it a little louder 161 00:10:31,523 --> 00:10:32,358 so the kids can hear you. 162 00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:37,963 Eat a dick, eat a dick, take a big old bite, 163 00:10:38,063 --> 00:10:39,164 or a little lick. 164 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,133 I should record that right there. 165 00:10:44,036 --> 00:10:47,306 [slow music] 166 00:10:49,408 --> 00:10:50,943 [Sophia] We've all had a shitty Christmas 167 00:10:51,043 --> 00:10:53,078 at one time or another, right? 168 00:10:53,512 --> 00:10:56,949 [hip hop music] 169 00:11:01,086 --> 00:11:03,422 Like, when I was four years old 170 00:11:04,023 --> 00:11:07,793 my dumbass daddy robbed a Quick Mart twice. 171 00:11:08,894 --> 00:11:11,797 Ask my mom about that Christmas, and all she'll say 172 00:11:11,897 --> 00:11:14,566 is, "He didn't get me nothing that year." 173 00:11:14,668 --> 00:11:16,468 Why are you bitching at me? 174 00:11:16,568 --> 00:11:19,471 Because you didn't get me nothing for Christmas this year, 175 00:11:19,571 --> 00:11:21,006 you cheap son of a bitch. 176 00:11:21,540 --> 00:11:25,544 - Wait, what time is it? - It's 11:53. 177 00:11:25,645 --> 00:11:28,347 Well, it ain't Christmas morning yet. 178 00:11:30,449 --> 00:11:32,017 [Theresa] Where you going? 179 00:11:32,117 --> 00:11:33,819 [dad] The night is young, Theresa. 180 00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:35,321 [Theresa] The night is not young, 181 00:11:35,421 --> 00:11:37,056 it's Christmas freaking Eve. 182 00:11:37,156 --> 00:11:40,092 You can't get nothing now, every where's closed. 183 00:11:40,592 --> 00:11:42,361 [dad] We'll see about that. 184 00:11:42,461 --> 00:11:43,862 [car door opens] 185 00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:47,866 [car door closes] 186 00:11:50,302 --> 00:11:54,306 - Nefantarter, holy shit, is that you? - Yeah. 187 00:11:54,406 --> 00:11:57,209 [man] You look good, man, like you've been lifting. 188 00:11:57,309 --> 00:11:59,078 Yeah, yeah, I'm good. 189 00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:02,348 You need anything, man, I got ups and downs, 190 00:12:02,448 --> 00:12:05,984 - and loopty-loos. - No, thanks, man. 191 00:12:06,085 --> 00:12:08,120 I told you I'm good. 192 00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:11,190 Been clean for two years. You ain't noticed? 193 00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:15,127 Two... two years, it's been that long, holy shit, man, 194 00:12:15,227 --> 00:12:20,165 I remember when you were everyday, twice a day. [laughs] 195 00:12:20,265 --> 00:12:22,067 Yeah, not anymore. 196 00:12:22,501 --> 00:12:25,504 Hey, hey, didn't you go to jail or some shit 197 00:12:25,604 --> 00:12:27,106 for leaving your kid in the car 198 00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:30,042 while you were getting a handy at the Rub & Tug? 199 00:12:30,142 --> 00:12:31,243 [laughs] 200 00:12:31,343 --> 00:12:33,879 Yeah, I was all doped out 201 00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:35,881 on that crystal blue shit back then. 202 00:12:36,448 --> 00:12:39,418 [man] Oh, yeah, crystal blue. 203 00:12:39,518 --> 00:12:42,020 I got that crystal blue shit, man. 204 00:12:42,121 --> 00:12:43,956 [laughs] 205 00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:45,290 [dad] Not anymore. 206 00:12:46,392 --> 00:12:49,294 [whistles] 207 00:12:56,034 --> 00:13:00,439 I know what you like, mama, you like that white chocolate. 208 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,109 [whistling] 209 00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:08,280 - $1.87. - $1.87? 210 00:13:08,380 --> 00:13:12,084 - Yes. - Uh, that's a bit steep, ain't it? 211 00:13:12,184 --> 00:13:16,188 - Tax. - [dad] Yeah, yeah, tax my ass. 212 00:13:16,723 --> 00:13:19,391 Shit, I forgot my wallet. 213 00:13:21,994 --> 00:13:24,430 I'll tell you what, you pay me. 214 00:13:25,297 --> 00:13:27,634 - What? - You pay me. 215 00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:29,935 Come on, open the register. 216 00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:36,275 - [grunts] - Open the register. 217 00:13:39,211 --> 00:13:42,581 Next time you should, uh, catch it with your hands, not your face. 218 00:13:44,016 --> 00:13:45,951 Come on, come on, underneath too. 219 00:13:46,653 --> 00:13:49,955 Holy Christmas tits! 220 00:13:50,055 --> 00:13:51,290 Is this for me? 221 00:13:51,390 --> 00:13:53,325 - [cocking shotgun] - Be a good little elf 222 00:13:53,425 --> 00:13:55,127 and put it all in Santa's sack. 223 00:13:56,094 --> 00:13:57,129 Uh-uh. 224 00:13:59,331 --> 00:14:03,001 Hey, uh, sorry about your eye. 225 00:14:03,101 --> 00:14:03,736 [gun fires] 226 00:14:07,707 --> 00:14:11,109 [whistles] 227 00:14:12,177 --> 00:14:15,380 [hip hop music] 228 00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:17,015 [Sophia] My daddy took all that money, 229 00:14:17,616 --> 00:14:19,117 and put it straight in his arm. 230 00:14:20,385 --> 00:14:22,387 [dad] Oh, shit. 231 00:14:23,555 --> 00:14:26,693 [police sirens blare] 232 00:14:33,766 --> 00:14:36,502 Ah. I forgot the goddamn candy. 233 00:14:39,772 --> 00:14:40,773 [gun fires] 234 00:14:41,774 --> 00:14:43,575 And I tell him, don't you ever come back here, 235 00:14:43,676 --> 00:14:46,044 or I'll kick your shitty little ass, punk. 236 00:14:46,144 --> 00:14:48,547 [laughs] 237 00:14:50,817 --> 00:14:54,353 [dad] I forgot my candy bar, but since I'm here, 238 00:14:54,453 --> 00:14:58,524 why don't you do me a favor and give me your wallet? 239 00:14:58,624 --> 00:15:01,426 Please, sir, you've already robbed us once. 240 00:15:01,861 --> 00:15:05,330 [dad] No, I already robbed him. 241 00:15:10,235 --> 00:15:11,738 - [grunts] - Damn. 242 00:15:12,337 --> 00:15:14,273 I'm sorry, none of you guys can catch, 243 00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:16,441 - that's too bad. - [gun fires] 244 00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:22,447 [laughs] Merry Christmas, fellas. 245 00:15:22,548 --> 00:15:24,149 [gun firing] 246 00:15:24,249 --> 00:15:25,217 [glass shattering] 247 00:15:25,317 --> 00:15:26,653 [gun firing] 248 00:15:29,421 --> 00:15:32,324 [whistles] 249 00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:38,765 [police sirens blare] 250 00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:47,139 [dad] Oh, oh, there it is, oh, oh. 251 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,610 [police sirens blare] 252 00:15:54,681 --> 00:15:56,849 [Theresa] You cheap son of a bitch. 253 00:15:56,950 --> 00:15:57,817 [dad] Theresa. 254 00:15:58,685 --> 00:15:59,418 [Theresa] You didn't get me nothing 255 00:15:59,986 --> 00:16:00,653 for Christmas this year. 256 00:16:01,353 --> 00:16:02,120 [dad] Uh, that's not true. 257 00:16:03,522 --> 00:16:06,291 I, I got you your favorite candy bar. 258 00:16:08,628 --> 00:16:10,730 [animal] Eat it, Daddy. 259 00:16:12,765 --> 00:16:15,802 [hip hop music] 260 00:16:25,678 --> 00:16:26,679 [kid] I want candy. 261 00:16:31,216 --> 00:16:32,819 [dad] Oh. Oh! 262 00:16:32,919 --> 00:16:35,554 - What kind are you going to get? - Peanut butter. 263 00:16:36,388 --> 00:16:37,489 I'm going to get caramel. 264 00:16:37,589 --> 00:16:39,458 You should try the white chocolate. 265 00:16:39,558 --> 00:16:42,327 Mm. It's delicious. 266 00:16:43,528 --> 00:16:44,697 [gun fires] 267 00:16:44,797 --> 00:16:46,633 [girl screams] 268 00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:52,672 [Sophia] My mom still pretends he OD'd, 269 00:16:53,372 --> 00:16:55,574 but I'm too old for Santa Clause and fairytales. 270 00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:57,677 ? I got big rocks in my pocket ? 271 00:16:57,777 --> 00:16:59,344 ? And I love girls to stop it ? 272 00:16:59,444 --> 00:17:00,813 ? Anybody want that smoke ? 273 00:17:00,913 --> 00:17:02,547 ? Then I'll show my pocket rockets ? 274 00:17:02,649 --> 00:17:03,750 ? Hit the road ? 275 00:17:09,621 --> 00:17:11,924 [boy] All you all fools going to get wasted when I get all this shit. 276 00:17:12,624 --> 00:17:14,727 [boy 2] He sounds like a nuub. 277 00:17:14,827 --> 00:17:15,762 What'd you say? 278 00:17:16,228 --> 00:17:18,463 Yeah, total nuub. 279 00:17:18,931 --> 00:17:21,299 Oh, who you calling nuub? 280 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,235 I'll smoke all you all fools. 281 00:17:23,636 --> 00:17:25,570 Okay, nuub, whatever you say. 282 00:17:28,473 --> 00:17:29,776 Oh, he's dead, get him, get him. 283 00:17:29,876 --> 00:17:30,810 Man, shut up. 284 00:17:32,511 --> 00:17:35,180 - He sucks. - You all think you all are bad? 285 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,916 I ought to kick both of your asses when I see you all. 286 00:17:37,016 --> 00:17:38,316 You best believe that. 287 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:39,819 [man] Come on, boys, let's go to the mall. 288 00:17:40,753 --> 00:17:42,421 Who wants to see Santa? 289 00:17:44,623 --> 00:17:47,592 Yay! 290 00:17:55,968 --> 00:17:57,970 - [knock on door] - What? 291 00:17:58,071 --> 00:18:00,372 - [Theresa] Sophia. - Go away! 292 00:18:01,306 --> 00:18:02,842 Is everything all right, sweetie? 293 00:18:05,277 --> 00:18:06,946 You have to work on Christmas Eve? 294 00:18:07,046 --> 00:18:09,614 Yeah, we're doing inventory today. 295 00:18:10,016 --> 00:18:11,818 I could use the extra hours. 296 00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,252 I'll be home by 11, don't worry. 297 00:18:15,287 --> 00:18:17,824 Just makes sure dickhead downstairs cooks something for dinner. 298 00:18:19,591 --> 00:18:20,927 - Did you hear me? - Yes! 299 00:18:22,527 --> 00:18:24,229 You don't mind if I borrow these, do you? 300 00:18:24,864 --> 00:18:26,331 I'll give them back, I swear. 301 00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:30,602 What's the matter, is it Trey? 302 00:18:31,603 --> 00:18:32,471 What did he do now? 303 00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:34,006 Mind your own business. 304 00:18:34,741 --> 00:18:36,642 I was a teenager once too, you know? 305 00:18:37,609 --> 00:18:38,644 Until I got pregnant. 306 00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:40,913 Anyways, been there done that. 307 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:42,547 I'm always here if you need to talk. 308 00:18:43,716 --> 00:18:46,318 - Mom. - Oh, no, I can't right now, honey, I got to go. 309 00:18:47,352 --> 00:18:49,454 Do me a favor though, stop by and see your grandparents today. 310 00:18:49,756 --> 00:18:52,457 - Do I have to? - Yes, you have to. 311 00:18:52,959 --> 00:18:55,494 - Why? - Because they're old, 312 00:18:55,594 --> 00:18:57,295 and they live, like, five blocks away 313 00:18:57,395 --> 00:18:58,664 and they're probably going to die soon. 314 00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:01,667 - And because I said so. - Whatever! 315 00:19:01,768 --> 00:19:03,268 You don't think Grandma could use the extra help. 316 00:19:03,736 --> 00:19:05,037 Malecia was supposed to come over. 317 00:19:05,638 --> 00:19:07,907 So go later, they'd love to see you. 318 00:19:08,007 --> 00:19:10,009 Fine, I'll go but it's total bullshit. 319 00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:13,445 - Sophia Hendrix, so help me, God. - That is not my name. 320 00:19:13,545 --> 00:19:15,982 Girl, sometimes I swear you act like a spoiled little twat. 321 00:19:16,682 --> 00:19:18,350 If you want to keep your daddy's last name 322 00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:20,820 and be known as the daughter as an OD'd smack addict, 323 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,388 go ahead but don't come crying to me again 324 00:19:23,488 --> 00:19:24,791 when they start bullying you in school. 325 00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:27,794 Great, now I'm really going to be late. 326 00:19:28,393 --> 00:19:29,327 Can I use this? 327 00:19:31,731 --> 00:19:32,665 I love you, sweetie. 328 00:19:32,765 --> 00:19:36,002 [dramatic music] 329 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,650 Hey, I remember you, you live on Easy Street, right? 330 00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:53,085 Your mama like jewelry? 331 00:19:53,186 --> 00:19:54,854 She got any diamonds? 332 00:19:55,453 --> 00:19:58,024 Hey, where the hoe, hoe, hoes at? 333 00:19:58,124 --> 00:20:00,458 How about I take you home with me tonight? 334 00:20:00,559 --> 00:20:02,094 Could be my elf on the shelf. 335 00:20:02,895 --> 00:20:03,930 No, thanks. 336 00:20:04,462 --> 00:20:05,932 [scoffs] You ain't even my type. 337 00:20:06,032 --> 00:20:09,334 - [snuffs] - [baby cries] 338 00:20:15,975 --> 00:20:17,710 Okay, everybody, let's take a little break. 339 00:20:18,177 --> 00:20:20,378 [group moans] 340 00:20:20,746 --> 00:20:23,049 I'm sorry, folks, I just need a word with old St. Nick. 341 00:20:23,983 --> 00:20:25,350 We'll be open in ten minutes. 342 00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:28,486 It's bad enough you show up three sheets to the wind. 343 00:20:28,587 --> 00:20:31,590 You smell like you parked your sleigh up Rudolph's rotten asshole, 344 00:20:31,691 --> 00:20:34,961 and you definitely can't smoke the wacky tobacy here, 345 00:20:35,995 --> 00:20:37,063 not in my mall. 346 00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:42,467 You got something to say to me? 347 00:20:42,567 --> 00:20:44,871 - [blows smoke] - [coughs] 348 00:20:44,971 --> 00:20:46,973 You son of a bitch, you're fired! 349 00:20:47,073 --> 00:20:49,041 [hip hop music] 350 00:20:49,141 --> 00:20:52,712 ? Jingle bells what's that smell best stay out my way ? 351 00:20:52,812 --> 00:20:54,947 ? And if you don't I take your phone ? 352 00:20:55,047 --> 00:20:57,116 ? And punch you in the face, hey! ? 353 00:20:57,216 --> 00:21:00,518 ? Jingle bells go to hell it's time for you to pay ? 354 00:21:01,053 --> 00:21:04,690 ? Oh, what fun it is to ride this town this holiday ? 355 00:21:05,091 --> 00:21:08,928 ? Stumbling through snow on a street this Christmas Day ? 356 00:21:09,028 --> 00:21:10,930 ? What time's the pawn shop close ? 357 00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:12,865 ? Pulled up, I'm on my way ? 358 00:21:12,965 --> 00:21:16,534 ? Got a 40 in my hand throwing shit up in my sack ? 359 00:21:17,069 --> 00:21:21,040 ? Hope I don't get caught again or jail I'm going back ? 360 00:21:21,140 --> 00:21:24,810 ? I see you when you sleep I see when you're awake ? 361 00:21:24,911 --> 00:21:28,814 ? But if you try and stop me you'll make a big mistake ? 362 00:21:28,915 --> 00:21:30,983 ? Down your chimney I will slide ? 363 00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:33,019 ? On a cold and snowy night ? 364 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,822 ? Taking all your gifts and, bitch, I'm out of sight ? 365 00:21:36,923 --> 00:21:38,691 ? I'm out of sight ? 366 00:21:38,791 --> 00:21:42,895 ? Out of sight ? 367 00:21:42,995 --> 00:21:45,597 ? Bitch, I'm out of sight ? 368 00:21:45,698 --> 00:21:47,199 ? Out of sight ? 369 00:21:47,300 --> 00:21:51,003 ? Bitch, I'm out of sight I'm out of sight ? 370 00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:53,105 ? Bitch, I'm out of sight ? 371 00:21:54,106 --> 00:21:57,575 [video game explosions] 372 00:22:03,916 --> 00:22:06,152 Damn, boy you going to do me like that. 373 00:22:08,921 --> 00:22:10,622 Hi, Mr. Hendricks, is Sophia home? 374 00:22:13,225 --> 00:22:14,160 Yeah, she upstairs. 375 00:22:15,861 --> 00:22:17,029 Hi, Malecia. 376 00:22:19,597 --> 00:22:23,069 Oh, what now, sucker? [laughs] 377 00:22:23,169 --> 00:22:24,637 Wait, that's not fair. 378 00:22:24,737 --> 00:22:26,072 - [knock on door] - Who is it? 379 00:22:26,172 --> 00:22:27,673 [Malecia] It's me, open up. 380 00:22:32,544 --> 00:22:34,612 [Sophia] Thank you so much for coming over. 381 00:22:34,714 --> 00:22:36,481 Anything for my BFF. 382 00:22:43,823 --> 00:22:46,624 Oh, God, your stepbrother is such a freak. 383 00:22:47,193 --> 00:22:48,560 Why, what'd he do now? 384 00:22:48,995 --> 00:22:51,063 Notta, boy's just whack. 385 00:22:52,231 --> 00:22:55,267 You have no idea, he sits down there playing games 386 00:22:55,368 --> 00:22:58,570 all day because he has, like, zero friends. 387 00:22:58,671 --> 00:23:00,139 What about the little boy from down the street, 388 00:23:00,239 --> 00:23:02,008 uh... Franki, what's his face? 389 00:23:02,108 --> 00:23:03,642 Oh, RJ kicked the crap out of him, 390 00:23:03,743 --> 00:23:05,878 so now Mrs. Baylaw won't let him come over anymore. 391 00:23:05,978 --> 00:23:07,279 The boy's, like, ten years old. 392 00:23:07,380 --> 00:23:09,148 - Yep. - With asthma. 393 00:23:09,915 --> 00:23:12,151 RJ gets picked on by all the kids in his own grade, 394 00:23:12,251 --> 00:23:15,287 so he pays that forward by bullying anyone weaker than him. 395 00:23:15,388 --> 00:23:16,922 Freakshow. 396 00:23:17,256 --> 00:23:20,159 In other news, so what's up with Sophia? 397 00:23:21,227 --> 00:23:22,828 I'm pregnant. 398 00:23:23,062 --> 00:23:24,764 Shut up, are you serious? 399 00:23:25,597 --> 00:23:28,200 Oh, that's wild, do you know who's it is? 400 00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:31,170 Of course I know who's it is, it's Trey's! 401 00:23:31,771 --> 00:23:33,538 - Oh. - What? 402 00:23:34,073 --> 00:23:36,208 - Nothing. - No, tell me, what? 403 00:23:36,308 --> 00:23:39,544 It's like I heard he was with Fatchick now. 404 00:23:39,645 --> 00:23:41,579 No, he just gets weed off of her. 405 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,782 That's not what I heard. 406 00:23:42,882 --> 00:23:44,850 Can we focus on the problem here? 407 00:23:44,950 --> 00:23:47,552 - What's that? - The baby, Malecia, the baby! 408 00:23:47,653 --> 00:23:49,955 - Oh, gee, relax. - Relax? 409 00:23:50,056 --> 00:23:53,826 I cannot relax. My mom is going to kill me. 410 00:23:53,926 --> 00:23:55,795 My whole life is over! 411 00:23:55,895 --> 00:23:57,663 I'm going to have to drop out of school. 412 00:23:57,763 --> 00:24:01,100 I'm going to have to get, like, a job for diapers. 413 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,302 No, you won't, that's what welfare's for. 414 00:24:03,836 --> 00:24:04,904 - [gasps] - What? 415 00:24:05,004 --> 00:24:07,673 I'm going to get so fat! 416 00:24:07,773 --> 00:24:09,341 Well, look at the bright side, 417 00:24:09,442 --> 00:24:11,343 if Trey's into Madison Fatchek, 418 00:24:11,944 --> 00:24:14,280 maybe he likes a little extra cushion for the pushing. 419 00:24:14,380 --> 00:24:16,282 Ow, sorry. 420 00:24:17,850 --> 00:24:19,118 He's not with Fatchek. 421 00:24:20,386 --> 00:24:23,122 Besides, heard she lost, like, a lot of weight or something. 422 00:24:23,222 --> 00:24:24,990 Oh, I have an idea. 423 00:24:26,258 --> 00:24:28,360 - Well, spit it out. - Girl, that's what you should have done. 424 00:24:29,695 --> 00:24:31,596 Ow, sorry. 425 00:24:33,032 --> 00:24:35,901 You could get an abortion. 426 00:24:37,069 --> 00:24:39,071 You mean, like, kill it? 427 00:24:39,171 --> 00:24:41,340 You can't kill something that's not been born yet, can you? 428 00:24:42,308 --> 00:24:46,045 I mean, I guess not. Is that even legal? 429 00:24:46,145 --> 00:24:48,881 Of course it's legal, it's been legal since, like, the '80's. 430 00:24:49,248 --> 00:24:51,317 Haven't you ever heard of a woman's right to choose? 431 00:24:52,184 --> 00:24:54,019 I thought it was choosing the name or something. 432 00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:57,123 No, dummy, that means you can choose 433 00:24:57,223 --> 00:24:59,959 to keep it or... [chokes] 434 00:25:01,794 --> 00:25:03,963 - So my mom would never know? - Nope. 435 00:25:04,063 --> 00:25:05,297 Nobody ever has to know. 436 00:25:05,998 --> 00:25:07,633 Here, let's search it. 437 00:25:09,301 --> 00:25:13,772 Ohio abortions... got it. 438 00:25:14,206 --> 00:25:16,075 Well, what's it say? 439 00:25:17,343 --> 00:25:18,244 Uh... 440 00:25:21,947 --> 00:25:25,784 A parent must consent before a minor gets an abortion. 441 00:25:26,785 --> 00:25:28,387 My life is so over. 442 00:25:30,222 --> 00:25:31,757 Want to go get pizza? 443 00:25:32,424 --> 00:25:34,226 Go grab me another six pack out the fridge. 444 00:25:37,997 --> 00:25:40,266 - Can I get one? - Yeah, no. 445 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,808 - Where you all going? - Out. 446 00:25:49,909 --> 00:25:50,910 You got to babysit the boys next door. 447 00:25:51,010 --> 00:25:53,412 - Uh, no one told me that. - Yeah, the neighbor lady 448 00:25:53,512 --> 00:25:55,080 came over this morning, asked if you could watch them 449 00:25:55,181 --> 00:25:57,116 while she do some last minute Christmas shopping. 450 00:25:57,216 --> 00:25:59,251 - So I told her, all right. - Well, I can't. 451 00:25:59,351 --> 00:26:01,754 Your mom going to be heated when she find out. 452 00:26:01,854 --> 00:26:04,990 - You know we need that scrilla. - Sorry, not sorry. 453 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:08,761 Malecia! 454 00:26:09,962 --> 00:26:10,963 [RJ] I can babysit. 455 00:26:11,430 --> 00:26:13,265 [scoffs] You? [chuckles] 456 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:18,437 [hip hop music] 457 00:26:22,341 --> 00:26:24,777 - [Malecia] So when did it happen? - What? 458 00:26:26,378 --> 00:26:28,047 [moaning] Oh, oh! 459 00:26:28,147 --> 00:26:30,816 - Oh, yeah. - On Thanksgiving. 460 00:26:30,916 --> 00:26:33,152 Get out, he stuffed you up on turkey day? 461 00:26:35,888 --> 00:26:37,423 Was it at his house or yours? 462 00:26:37,523 --> 00:26:40,125 He actually got in a huge fight with his parents that night, 463 00:26:40,793 --> 00:26:44,129 had nowhere to go to eat so I invited him over to join us. 464 00:26:44,230 --> 00:26:45,798 Oh, you're too sweet. 465 00:26:46,198 --> 00:26:47,466 It actually happened in his car. 466 00:26:50,302 --> 00:26:53,005 Next thing I knew we were just doing it. 467 00:26:53,839 --> 00:26:55,007 [Malecia] How'd you get pregnant? 468 00:26:55,107 --> 00:26:56,342 Uh, last time I checked 469 00:26:56,442 --> 00:26:58,344 there's only one way to get pregnant. 470 00:26:58,444 --> 00:27:01,013 - Didn't he use a condom? - Yeah, at first. 471 00:27:01,380 --> 00:27:02,481 Then it kept getting... 472 00:27:05,150 --> 00:27:07,052 - soft. - The condom? 473 00:27:07,152 --> 00:27:08,187 No, him! 474 00:27:08,287 --> 00:27:09,388 So he had to take it off. 475 00:27:10,155 --> 00:27:11,323 Oh. 476 00:27:11,423 --> 00:27:14,994 [moaning and huffing] 477 00:27:22,067 --> 00:27:24,370 - [Theresa] Sophia! - Oh, no. 478 00:27:26,205 --> 00:27:30,209 I waited for my period, it just never came. 479 00:27:30,909 --> 00:27:33,812 [phone vibrates] 480 00:27:33,912 --> 00:27:35,814 - No way! - What! 481 00:27:36,081 --> 00:27:39,018 It's my mom, she says someone broke into the house. 482 00:27:39,118 --> 00:27:41,487 - Really? - Sorry, bae, got to go. 483 00:27:46,225 --> 00:27:49,395 Stay strong, girl, you'll figure it out. Hundo p. 484 00:27:50,129 --> 00:27:51,263 [phone vibrates] 485 00:27:52,364 --> 00:27:54,867 Oh, hell no, they took our presents. 486 00:27:55,501 --> 00:27:59,405 [instrumental music] 487 00:28:09,315 --> 00:28:14,253 Sophia, won't you ride with me-a? 488 00:28:14,353 --> 00:28:15,521 Are you stalking me? 489 00:28:16,188 --> 00:28:17,456 You wish I was stalking you. 490 00:28:17,556 --> 00:28:19,124 So you're not stalking me? 491 00:28:19,224 --> 00:28:20,959 No, I'm, uh, I'm on my way to Walmart. 492 00:28:21,060 --> 00:28:22,328 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 493 00:28:22,428 --> 00:28:24,997 - Walmart's that way. - Oh, I mean, uh, 494 00:28:25,097 --> 00:28:26,265 I mean, I'm coming back from Walmart. 495 00:28:26,365 --> 00:28:28,067 Oh. What'd you get? 496 00:28:28,167 --> 00:28:32,037 I, uh, I shoplifted this gum, you want a piece? 497 00:28:32,471 --> 00:28:34,406 - You stole this? - Maybe, 498 00:28:34,506 --> 00:28:36,342 - would that turn you on? - [chuckles] 499 00:28:37,176 --> 00:28:38,610 I mean, that's why you're with Trey, right, 500 00:28:38,712 --> 00:28:39,945 you like criminals. 501 00:28:40,312 --> 00:28:41,180 No. 502 00:28:42,181 --> 00:28:44,049 Huh. I just figured it probably made you wet 503 00:28:44,149 --> 00:28:45,250 every time he talks about juvie. 504 00:28:45,351 --> 00:28:47,186 Ew. [spits] 505 00:28:49,054 --> 00:28:51,323 He's 18 now, so no more juvie. 506 00:28:51,423 --> 00:28:53,158 You know that's so statutory right? 507 00:28:53,258 --> 00:28:54,893 - Shut up! - I'm just saying. 508 00:28:58,130 --> 00:29:00,532 - So why him? - Why not? 509 00:29:01,133 --> 00:29:02,368 Because he's a complete tool. 510 00:29:02,468 --> 00:29:04,570 - You're a tool! - Good one. 511 00:29:05,471 --> 00:29:06,972 Why do you think he's a tool? 512 00:29:07,506 --> 00:29:08,907 Where do I even start? 513 00:29:10,008 --> 00:29:12,544 Jimmy Stam told me his real name is Edward Davis III. 514 00:29:12,645 --> 00:29:14,647 He just calls himself Trey to sound black. 515 00:29:15,247 --> 00:29:18,517 He acts like he's all hood and gangster, he's country as shit. 516 00:29:18,617 --> 00:29:21,620 His dad's the fishing warden, real hood. 517 00:29:23,255 --> 00:29:25,290 And plus isn't he supposed to be a senior? 518 00:29:25,391 --> 00:29:27,226 He's failed three years in a row. 519 00:29:28,327 --> 00:29:31,430 He's a liar, he's an asshole and he's a scumbag. 520 00:29:31,964 --> 00:29:33,532 I bet he's cheating on you right now. 521 00:29:34,299 --> 00:29:36,435 People like him need to be put in their place. 522 00:29:36,736 --> 00:29:38,137 [mimics gun firing] 523 00:29:38,237 --> 00:29:41,073 Okay, psycho, let's go. 524 00:29:41,173 --> 00:29:43,342 - Where are we going? - Madison Fatchek's house. 525 00:29:43,442 --> 00:29:46,378 - Okey dokey, pretty lady. - You're such a dork. 526 00:29:47,045 --> 00:29:51,016 [slow music] 527 00:30:01,628 --> 00:30:05,531 [hip hop music] 528 00:30:14,473 --> 00:30:16,108 Oh, look at these losers. 529 00:30:16,208 --> 00:30:18,177 Isn't that Trey's little slut? 530 00:30:18,678 --> 00:30:20,579 [boy] Hey, watch this. 531 00:30:25,584 --> 00:30:26,585 [spits] 532 00:30:27,252 --> 00:30:28,153 Fags! 533 00:30:28,253 --> 00:30:30,022 [laughs] 534 00:30:32,558 --> 00:30:33,959 Assholes. 535 00:30:34,359 --> 00:30:36,195 - I think those were Trey's friends. - [sighs] 536 00:30:46,405 --> 00:30:48,507 - That's his whip, right? - Yeah. 537 00:30:49,408 --> 00:30:50,643 He probably stole it. 538 00:30:59,084 --> 00:31:00,452 [bangs on door] 539 00:31:00,552 --> 00:31:04,389 [hip hop music] 540 00:31:14,500 --> 00:31:15,702 I told you so. 541 00:31:15,802 --> 00:31:17,069 He's just smoking some weed, 542 00:31:17,169 --> 00:31:18,270 it isn't even that big of a deal. 543 00:31:18,671 --> 00:31:23,041 [hip hop music] 544 00:31:38,858 --> 00:31:41,026 [coughs] 545 00:31:41,794 --> 00:31:43,028 Oh, snap! 546 00:31:43,630 --> 00:31:45,030 - Busted. - Oh. 547 00:31:46,532 --> 00:31:47,634 Seriously? 548 00:31:50,737 --> 00:31:52,170 Let's go! 549 00:31:57,175 --> 00:31:59,478 [Trey] Sophia, it's not what it looks like! 550 00:31:59,578 --> 00:32:00,813 You lied to me! 551 00:32:00,914 --> 00:32:03,081 I'm sorry, shawty, my head's all messed up, 552 00:32:03,181 --> 00:32:04,416 I don't even know what's going on. 553 00:32:04,516 --> 00:32:05,617 Let that bitch go, Trey. 554 00:32:05,718 --> 00:32:07,553 Who you calling a bitch, skank? 555 00:32:07,654 --> 00:32:09,756 Tell her you're with a real woman now. 556 00:32:09,856 --> 00:32:11,156 Shut up, skank. 557 00:32:12,157 --> 00:32:13,258 Sophia. 558 00:32:13,693 --> 00:32:16,061 Okay, hoe, you gots to go. 559 00:32:16,161 --> 00:32:18,430 I'm about to pop you like a cherry on prom night. 560 00:32:18,530 --> 00:32:22,234 - [both scream] - [rock music] 561 00:32:24,202 --> 00:32:25,203 Whoa! 562 00:32:31,711 --> 00:32:34,313 - Damn! - [slaps] 563 00:32:34,413 --> 00:32:36,849 - Oh. - [screams] 564 00:32:38,317 --> 00:32:40,853 - Are you getting that? - Yep. 565 00:32:42,287 --> 00:32:43,155 Oh, man. 566 00:32:44,189 --> 00:32:47,292 [screams] 567 00:32:47,392 --> 00:32:48,661 [laughs] 568 00:32:48,761 --> 00:32:51,263 [roars] 569 00:32:55,167 --> 00:32:57,469 [screams] 570 00:32:58,503 --> 00:33:00,472 - All right. - Hell yeah! 571 00:33:09,247 --> 00:33:10,783 Are you going to help me up or what? 572 00:33:12,484 --> 00:33:13,686 Hey, give me my shirt back. 573 00:33:16,956 --> 00:33:18,323 Sophia, wait! 574 00:33:22,829 --> 00:33:24,396 What are you looking at? 575 00:33:24,496 --> 00:33:27,867 This one's going on YouTube! 576 00:33:27,967 --> 00:33:31,336 [laughs] 577 00:33:31,436 --> 00:33:34,841 [dramatic music] 578 00:33:52,324 --> 00:33:54,593 - You okay? - No. 579 00:33:55,327 --> 00:33:57,462 Well, look, my offer still stands, 580 00:33:57,562 --> 00:33:59,598 nothing's better for a heartache than a horror movie, 581 00:33:59,699 --> 00:34:02,200 a bottle of 151 and some Sprite to chase it down. 582 00:34:02,802 --> 00:34:05,437 There's actually this flick called, Silent Night, Deadly Night 583 00:34:05,537 --> 00:34:07,239 - about a deranged... - I can't. 584 00:34:07,774 --> 00:34:09,207 Well, if Santa's not your thing, 585 00:34:09,307 --> 00:34:10,810 there's always Killer Klowns from Outer Space. 586 00:34:10,910 --> 00:34:12,611 No, I can't come over. 587 00:34:13,980 --> 00:34:15,648 Don't tell me it's because of Trey, 588 00:34:15,748 --> 00:34:17,850 he's cheating on you, you saw it with your own eyes. 589 00:34:18,785 --> 00:34:20,753 There's two types of men in this world, 590 00:34:20,853 --> 00:34:22,287 and he's neither of them. 591 00:34:23,723 --> 00:34:28,293 You're smart, you're fun, you're beautiful, you're perfect. 592 00:34:29,729 --> 00:34:30,663 [Sofia] Stop. 593 00:34:31,898 --> 00:34:32,765 What? 594 00:34:33,933 --> 00:34:34,934 I'm... 595 00:34:35,902 --> 00:34:37,637 Let me guess, you're still in love with him? 596 00:34:38,336 --> 00:34:39,438 I give up. 597 00:34:39,906 --> 00:34:41,206 Noah. 598 00:34:42,842 --> 00:34:44,409 I'm pregnant! 599 00:34:45,645 --> 00:34:46,846 With his? 600 00:34:47,647 --> 00:34:48,881 [sobbing] 601 00:34:49,816 --> 00:34:51,651 I guess I was wrong about you, Sophia, 602 00:34:51,751 --> 00:34:53,351 you're not as smart as I thought. 603 00:34:54,519 --> 00:34:55,387 Good luck. 604 00:34:56,189 --> 00:34:57,757 - What? - You're going to need it. 605 00:35:02,995 --> 00:35:04,897 He spit on us! 606 00:35:05,765 --> 00:35:06,899 [sighs] 607 00:35:06,999 --> 00:35:10,335 [dramatic Christmas music] 608 00:35:24,951 --> 00:35:26,251 What's wrong with you? 609 00:35:27,452 --> 00:35:30,622 [hip hop music] 610 00:35:35,460 --> 00:35:38,631 [crying] 611 00:35:43,568 --> 00:35:45,403 - [knock on door] - Hey. 612 00:35:46,873 --> 00:35:48,340 You all right? 613 00:35:49,108 --> 00:35:51,476 - You need to talk? - [sobbing] 614 00:35:51,978 --> 00:35:53,478 Is this about that white boy 615 00:35:53,578 --> 00:35:55,047 that thinks of himself as a brother? 616 00:35:55,882 --> 00:35:57,616 You just let me know, 617 00:35:57,717 --> 00:36:00,418 I've been waiting months to slap the black out of his mouth. 618 00:36:01,654 --> 00:36:04,523 Or if it's a womanly issue, 619 00:36:05,057 --> 00:36:07,026 your mom won't be back for awhile, 620 00:36:07,126 --> 00:36:08,795 but you can always go to your Grandma's. 621 00:36:09,528 --> 00:36:12,531 - Just go away! - Okay. 622 00:36:12,632 --> 00:36:15,001 I'm just trying to help, God. 623 00:36:19,906 --> 00:36:21,674 [stomach rumbles] 624 00:36:22,108 --> 00:36:24,309 - [knock on door] - How long you going to be in there? 625 00:36:25,577 --> 00:36:27,512 I got to take a shit! 626 00:36:27,612 --> 00:36:30,750 [hip hop music] 627 00:36:57,910 --> 00:36:59,411 [knock on door] 628 00:37:05,584 --> 00:37:07,619 - Get off my porch. - Grandpa. 629 00:37:08,020 --> 00:37:11,123 - I will shoot. - Grandpa, it's me, Sophia. 630 00:37:11,657 --> 00:37:13,693 - Who? - Your granddaughter! 631 00:37:14,559 --> 00:37:16,762 Oh, yeah. [laughs] 632 00:37:16,863 --> 00:37:19,765 - Come on in, sweetie pie. - Okay. 633 00:37:30,542 --> 00:37:33,946 [upbeat music] 634 00:37:43,923 --> 00:37:46,458 Go on, take a seat, sit down. 635 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:49,461 What happened to your eye? 636 00:37:52,564 --> 00:37:55,400 - What's that? - Your eye, what happened? 637 00:37:55,735 --> 00:37:58,436 That ain't nothing, I'm fine. 638 00:38:12,517 --> 00:38:14,486 I'm sorry, where are my manners, 639 00:38:14,586 --> 00:38:17,622 would you like something to drink some milk or pop? 640 00:38:17,924 --> 00:38:19,025 No, thanks. 641 00:38:19,659 --> 00:38:21,861 - You want to cookie? - No, I'm good. 642 00:38:21,961 --> 00:38:23,029 Well, suit yourself. 643 00:38:26,232 --> 00:38:27,133 [exhales] 644 00:38:27,233 --> 00:38:28,134 Where's Grandma at? 645 00:38:33,205 --> 00:38:35,708 [gun firing] 646 00:38:35,808 --> 00:38:37,475 [upbeat music] 647 00:38:37,575 --> 00:38:38,678 [gun fires] 648 00:38:40,112 --> 00:38:42,982 [police sirens blare] 649 00:38:50,156 --> 00:38:51,791 We just don't want any trouble here, ma'am. 650 00:38:54,526 --> 00:38:55,928 [growls] 651 00:39:03,769 --> 00:39:06,172 - You worthless piece of garbage! - Hey! 652 00:39:06,272 --> 00:39:09,709 - Ow! - Settle down. [hollers] 653 00:39:11,210 --> 00:39:14,180 Okay, that was against the law. 654 00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:15,781 [growls] 655 00:39:22,755 --> 00:39:24,790 Oh, who gives a shit. 656 00:39:24,890 --> 00:39:26,624 I was just hoping to talk to her. 657 00:39:27,026 --> 00:39:29,494 Why, you have a bad day at school? 658 00:39:29,962 --> 00:39:32,231 Oh, there's no school today, it's Christmas Eve. 659 00:39:32,898 --> 00:39:34,033 Oh, yeah. 660 00:39:35,234 --> 00:39:37,569 I knew that. [chuckles] 661 00:39:38,871 --> 00:39:40,572 Can I ask you a question, Grandpa? 662 00:39:41,774 --> 00:39:43,242 [smacks lip] Shoot, kiddo. 663 00:39:43,943 --> 00:39:46,078 Why did you and Grandma stop after Mom came along? 664 00:39:46,912 --> 00:39:49,048 Like, why didn't you guys have any more kids? 665 00:39:49,348 --> 00:39:51,951 [coughs] 666 00:39:56,088 --> 00:39:58,090 - We did. - What? 667 00:39:59,591 --> 00:40:00,659 Your mama... 668 00:40:02,328 --> 00:40:04,296 she was actually our second child. 669 00:40:05,798 --> 00:40:08,768 She's got an older sister out there somewhere. 670 00:40:09,735 --> 00:40:10,736 What? 671 00:40:13,939 --> 00:40:14,974 You know what, 672 00:40:15,975 --> 00:40:18,144 your grandma would fry my balls for breakfast 673 00:40:18,244 --> 00:40:21,947 if she knew I was going to tell you this, but guess what, kiddy... 674 00:40:23,382 --> 00:40:25,651 want you get to my age you start passing secrets 675 00:40:25,751 --> 00:40:27,619 like you pass gas. [laughs] 676 00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:29,155 Oh, Grandpa. 677 00:40:30,890 --> 00:40:32,825 It's milk. [laughs] 678 00:40:33,625 --> 00:40:34,827 So what happened to her? 679 00:40:37,029 --> 00:40:39,331 - Who's that? - Mom's sister. 680 00:40:44,103 --> 00:40:45,971 You know that story about how 681 00:40:46,072 --> 00:40:47,940 me and your Grandma met, don't you? 682 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:50,109 Yeah, at a Cleveland Indians game, right? 683 00:40:50,209 --> 00:40:53,813 [laughs] We didn't meet at no Indians game, 684 00:40:53,913 --> 00:40:55,981 that was just a, just a bunch of hog wash 685 00:40:56,082 --> 00:40:57,615 your grandma told everyone. 686 00:40:58,350 --> 00:41:01,053 Christ, we, we met at a church. 687 00:41:01,153 --> 00:41:03,022 You and Grandma went to church? 688 00:41:03,122 --> 00:41:06,225 [laughs] Hell yes, we went in to church. 689 00:41:08,327 --> 00:41:11,931 That was damn near 50 years ago. 690 00:41:17,670 --> 00:41:21,073 You see your grandma was real religious back then. 691 00:41:22,374 --> 00:41:25,010 I attended on a regular basis, though 692 00:41:25,111 --> 00:41:27,780 I wasn't much for the singing and dancing 693 00:41:28,681 --> 00:41:29,782 till I met her. 694 00:41:30,916 --> 00:41:35,121 From that moment on there was no getting between us. 695 00:41:37,957 --> 00:41:39,725 [moaning] 696 00:41:39,825 --> 00:41:41,026 Good Lord! 697 00:41:41,127 --> 00:41:45,831 Oh, my God, oh, oh, oh, my God, oh, oh, 698 00:41:45,931 --> 00:41:49,168 amen, oh, amen, oh, my God! 699 00:41:50,102 --> 00:41:51,804 Long story short... 700 00:41:53,439 --> 00:41:54,707 I put a bun in her over. 701 00:41:56,041 --> 00:41:59,745 And after a few months, that baby girl was upon us. 702 00:42:02,348 --> 00:42:04,250 So we put her up for adoption. 703 00:42:05,050 --> 00:42:06,051 Why? 704 00:42:06,152 --> 00:42:08,320 Well, I didn't have a job, 705 00:42:08,420 --> 00:42:11,090 we had no way to support her and it's... 706 00:42:13,192 --> 00:42:16,262 sometimes life only gives you one choice in the moment. 707 00:42:18,164 --> 00:42:20,699 I always hoped that she had a good life, 708 00:42:20,799 --> 00:42:22,868 she, she found a good family 709 00:42:22,968 --> 00:42:25,404 that loved her and took care of her. 710 00:42:28,307 --> 00:42:30,976 Anyway, Grandma and me, we moved on. 711 00:42:32,912 --> 00:42:36,015 After a few years, I got a job at the mill. 712 00:42:36,415 --> 00:42:39,885 We built a house and we started trying again. 713 00:42:40,486 --> 00:42:42,254 That's when your mama came along 714 00:42:42,354 --> 00:42:45,824 and believe me, with all the spit and vinegar in her veins, 715 00:42:46,292 --> 00:42:48,861 one was enough. [laughs] 716 00:42:48,961 --> 00:42:49,795 Wow. 717 00:42:50,396 --> 00:42:51,463 Yeah. 718 00:42:52,698 --> 00:42:56,335 Funny thing is we, we ain't never been back to church since. 719 00:42:57,469 --> 00:43:00,239 So I bought myself a wedding coat 720 00:43:00,339 --> 00:43:02,241 and I met her at the courthouse. 721 00:43:03,876 --> 00:43:06,011 - And that was that. - Yeah. 722 00:43:07,046 --> 00:43:09,481 And that, sweetie pie, was that. 723 00:43:12,051 --> 00:43:15,321 Son of a bitch, [stutters] what time is it? 724 00:43:15,421 --> 00:43:17,223 Uh, it's a quarter past eight. 725 00:43:17,323 --> 00:43:19,358 Yeah, I forgot to take my cholesterol pills. 726 00:43:23,896 --> 00:43:25,798 Are you sure I can't get you something to eat? 727 00:43:26,198 --> 00:43:29,101 No, thanks, Grandpa, I haven't had much of an appetite today anyway. 728 00:43:29,568 --> 00:43:30,970 Plus, I got to get going. 729 00:43:33,339 --> 00:43:34,306 Bye, Grandpa. 730 00:43:39,979 --> 00:43:41,347 Hey, tell Grandma I said hi. 731 00:43:42,047 --> 00:43:42,948 Okay. 732 00:43:43,849 --> 00:43:44,516 Bye! 733 00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,956 Yeah, Grandma. 734 00:43:51,056 --> 00:43:55,995 ? Silent night ? 735 00:43:56,095 --> 00:44:01,200 ? Holy night ? 736 00:44:01,300 --> 00:44:06,405 ? All is calm ? 737 00:44:06,505 --> 00:44:11,176 ? All is bright ? 738 00:44:11,944 --> 00:44:16,215 ? Round young virgin ? 739 00:44:16,315 --> 00:44:19,151 What a crock of shit. 740 00:44:19,585 --> 00:44:23,389 You really think she was a virgin? 741 00:44:24,356 --> 00:44:27,126 You think anyone around here would believe me 742 00:44:27,226 --> 00:44:30,562 if I said Jesus knocked me up? 743 00:44:31,263 --> 00:44:36,168 Yeah, that's what I'll go with, immaculate conception. 744 00:44:36,568 --> 00:44:40,039 Yep, Jesus is the one, Jesus is the daddy, 745 00:44:40,139 --> 00:44:43,275 he knocked me up, I'm still a virgin. 746 00:44:43,375 --> 00:44:46,045 [blows a raspberry] Give me a goddamn break. 747 00:44:46,145 --> 00:44:48,580 - [screams] - ? Sleep in ? 748 00:44:48,682 --> 00:44:55,487 ? Heavenly peace ? 749 00:44:55,587 --> 00:44:58,824 [Santa urinating] 750 00:44:59,358 --> 00:45:01,160 You guys know any Tupac? 751 00:45:03,462 --> 00:45:06,432 Your brother was being a bad boy, but if your mommy asks, 752 00:45:06,532 --> 00:45:09,301 he fell down when you were playing tag, you understand? 753 00:45:10,569 --> 00:45:12,271 Now get up and go lay in bed. 754 00:45:13,339 --> 00:45:15,040 [Trey whistles] 755 00:45:15,140 --> 00:45:16,508 Bring that ass over here... 756 00:45:17,543 --> 00:45:18,410 please? 757 00:45:28,487 --> 00:45:31,857 Okay, okay, okay, I deserved that, I deserved that. 758 00:45:33,092 --> 00:45:35,060 Look, I'm so sorry, girl. 759 00:45:35,961 --> 00:45:39,031 Have you even got my texts, I've been blowing up the phone like a hella cray. 760 00:45:39,598 --> 00:45:41,233 I don't know what I was thinking. 761 00:45:41,333 --> 00:45:44,103 Maybe I thought, you know, you're on a break, or something, 762 00:45:44,203 --> 00:45:46,138 like my dick is in her mouth, 763 00:45:46,238 --> 00:45:48,440 but my heart is in your hands, you feel me? 764 00:45:48,540 --> 00:45:50,409 - Trey, I have something to tell you. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. 765 00:45:50,509 --> 00:45:52,044 Let me finish, let me finish. 766 00:45:52,679 --> 00:45:54,580 I know I made a mistake, 767 00:45:54,681 --> 00:45:58,016 but the truth is that hoe ain't got nothing on you, girl. 768 00:45:59,686 --> 00:46:01,286 You're my one and only, 769 00:46:01,387 --> 00:46:03,288 the peanut butter to my jelly sandwich, girl. 770 00:46:03,389 --> 00:46:05,157 - I love you. - I'm pregnant. 771 00:46:05,257 --> 00:46:06,258 I love everything... 772 00:46:07,292 --> 00:46:09,328 Wait, what? 773 00:46:09,428 --> 00:46:10,630 You heard me. 774 00:46:10,730 --> 00:46:11,530 That shit ain't mine. 775 00:46:12,398 --> 00:46:13,899 I know that shit for reals ain't mine. 776 00:46:13,999 --> 00:46:16,235 - Who's do you think it is? - I don't know, 777 00:46:16,335 --> 00:46:18,103 maybe it's that one kid you've been hanging with. 778 00:46:18,203 --> 00:46:19,571 What's his name, Noah Vanhomo? 779 00:46:19,672 --> 00:46:21,540 - No. - I see the way he look at you. 780 00:46:22,274 --> 00:46:23,375 - He hit that, huh? - No. 781 00:46:23,475 --> 00:46:25,010 - I know he hit that. - Trey. 782 00:46:25,110 --> 00:46:26,545 You're the only person 783 00:46:26,646 --> 00:46:27,647 I've ever been with. 784 00:46:28,782 --> 00:46:31,216 You expect me to believe that? How dumb you think I am? 785 00:46:31,316 --> 00:46:33,653 You're about making all this up just to try to win me back. 786 00:46:33,753 --> 00:46:35,655 - Win you back? - Yeah. 787 00:46:35,755 --> 00:46:37,923 And you just jelly because I moved on with my life. 788 00:46:38,023 --> 00:46:39,124 It ain't going to work. 789 00:46:39,224 --> 00:46:42,094 Trey, I'm serious, this is your baby. 790 00:46:42,762 --> 00:46:44,430 - This our baby. - Stop... 791 00:46:45,497 --> 00:46:46,465 saying that. 792 00:46:46,565 --> 00:46:47,667 What are we going to do? 793 00:46:47,767 --> 00:46:50,102 There is no we in this situation. 794 00:46:50,436 --> 00:46:51,937 Is what are you going to do? 795 00:46:52,037 --> 00:46:54,506 - [slow music] - Gee. 796 00:46:54,606 --> 00:46:55,507 Sophia! 797 00:46:57,075 --> 00:46:59,111 [horn blows] 798 00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:02,682 Coming up at 11, officials are calling it 799 00:47:02,782 --> 00:47:04,416 an opioid epidemic. 800 00:47:04,516 --> 00:47:06,653 So what can parents do to make sure their kids 801 00:47:06,753 --> 00:47:08,253 stay off the white horse? 802 00:47:08,353 --> 00:47:10,690 Plus, a string of Christmas Eve robberies 803 00:47:10,790 --> 00:47:11,825 have been reported around town. 804 00:47:12,692 --> 00:47:15,360 So be sure to keep the doors locked tight tonight. 805 00:47:15,461 --> 00:47:17,095 [male reporter] And full details on the charges 806 00:47:17,196 --> 00:47:18,597 levied at Mayor McHenry. 807 00:47:18,698 --> 00:47:20,700 Just how much money is he accused of stealing 808 00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:22,201 from the county road department? 809 00:47:22,568 --> 00:47:24,970 All that and more at First Action News 11. 810 00:47:25,070 --> 00:47:26,673 [slow music] 811 00:47:26,773 --> 00:47:28,173 If either one of you's tells on me... 812 00:47:30,576 --> 00:47:31,644 Now go to bed. 813 00:47:33,412 --> 00:47:37,684 [loud rap music playing] 814 00:47:47,593 --> 00:47:51,330 [slow music] 815 00:47:53,198 --> 00:47:55,768 [snoring] 816 00:48:12,384 --> 00:48:13,318 RJ? 817 00:48:14,319 --> 00:48:15,187 Sophia? 818 00:48:15,287 --> 00:48:18,423 [hip hop music] 819 00:48:21,393 --> 00:48:23,395 [yawns] 820 00:48:39,511 --> 00:48:42,214 - [urinating] - ? Eat a dick eat, eat, eat a dick ? 821 00:48:42,314 --> 00:48:44,349 ? Take a big old bite or a little lick ? 822 00:48:44,751 --> 00:48:46,653 - Yeah? - [Theresa over phone] Did you cook dinner? 823 00:48:46,753 --> 00:48:49,288 No, I didn't cook no damn dinner, I told you. 824 00:48:49,388 --> 00:48:52,591 - Rayjon, I swear to God I bust my ass every week... - Babe. 825 00:48:52,692 --> 00:48:54,459 - ...working overtime then I have to come home... - Babe. 826 00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:57,162 - ...and cook and clean and do the dishes. - Baby. 827 00:48:57,262 --> 00:48:59,666 - All while you sit on your lazy ass. - Bitch, relax! 828 00:48:59,766 --> 00:49:02,200 - I'll pick something up. - What did you call me? 829 00:49:02,301 --> 00:49:04,771 - Damn. - Consider this your New Year's resolution, 830 00:49:04,871 --> 00:49:06,639 either you get a job and get your shit together... 831 00:49:06,739 --> 00:49:08,373 Oops, lost you. 832 00:49:17,616 --> 00:49:20,720 Thanks again for watching them. I am so surprised that they're asleep already. 833 00:49:20,820 --> 00:49:22,621 They're great kids, really. 834 00:49:24,791 --> 00:49:26,425 They're a little rough though, like I said, 835 00:49:26,525 --> 00:49:27,794 one minute they're playing tag then 836 00:49:27,894 --> 00:49:30,095 all of a sudden it became a full blown fist fight. 837 00:49:30,429 --> 00:49:32,632 What? Dear lord. 838 00:49:32,732 --> 00:49:35,702 Don't worry, I put an end to that real quick. 839 00:49:35,802 --> 00:49:38,537 Here, take this, thank you so much. 840 00:49:38,638 --> 00:49:40,238 - Goodnight. - Goodnight. 841 00:49:40,740 --> 00:49:44,610 [slow music] 842 00:49:59,558 --> 00:50:00,492 Sup? 843 00:50:01,426 --> 00:50:04,162 Going to get some food, you want anything? 844 00:50:04,262 --> 00:50:06,431 - Yeah, where you going? - Doghouse. 845 00:50:06,833 --> 00:50:10,202 - Um, strawberry milkshake. - [laughs] 846 00:50:11,603 --> 00:50:14,473 - Boy, you into some fruity shit, huh? - You all right to drive? 847 00:50:14,573 --> 00:50:17,309 Don't come at me like that strawberry shake. 848 00:50:17,677 --> 00:50:18,711 I'm fine. 849 00:50:20,913 --> 00:50:22,649 How much scoobs was given you for watching them brats? 850 00:50:23,448 --> 00:50:24,516 Thirty bucks. 851 00:50:25,752 --> 00:50:26,719 Seriously? 852 00:50:27,586 --> 00:50:29,388 You want that milkshake or not? 853 00:50:29,922 --> 00:50:31,490 Milkshakes don't cost 30 bucks. 854 00:50:31,958 --> 00:50:33,392 The ones at Doghouse do. 855 00:50:34,393 --> 00:50:38,363 Here, but I keep the rest, because it's my house, 856 00:50:38,798 --> 00:50:40,198 and it's my rules. 857 00:50:41,768 --> 00:50:45,672 Cheer up, son, you're only got three or four more years 858 00:50:46,605 --> 00:50:48,941 then you're ass enlist in the Marines, 859 00:50:49,042 --> 00:50:50,810 then you're Uncle Sam's problem. 860 00:50:52,712 --> 00:50:53,913 Come on, man, put them up. 861 00:50:54,013 --> 00:50:56,448 Come on, boy, put them up, put them up. 862 00:50:56,983 --> 00:51:00,218 [laughs] What's you going to do now, sucker? 863 00:51:06,625 --> 00:51:08,560 Please pick up, Noah. 864 00:51:09,629 --> 00:51:11,731 [announcer] Under two minutes to go on the ninth annual achievements 865 00:51:11,831 --> 00:51:13,432 - high efficiency toilet bowl. - [phone vibrates] 866 00:51:13,532 --> 00:51:15,434 The Penguins look sluggish all day but had to 867 00:51:15,534 --> 00:51:18,270 get another turnover by the Grasshoppers offense. 868 00:51:18,370 --> 00:51:19,939 - [phone vibrates] - [glass breaks] 869 00:51:20,039 --> 00:51:21,674 ...from a colossal upset here. 870 00:51:21,774 --> 00:51:23,508 [host] I haven't seen anything this sloppy 871 00:51:23,608 --> 00:51:25,945 since I walked in on my wife with a special teams unit. 872 00:51:26,045 --> 00:51:27,847 [announcer] Whoa, buddy, whoa, 873 00:51:27,947 --> 00:51:31,349 save that one for the post game show, huh? [laughs] 874 00:51:31,450 --> 00:51:34,219 ? I'm just chilling with my crew thinking of ways ? 875 00:51:34,319 --> 00:51:35,755 ? To get them dollars I'm just... ? 876 00:51:35,855 --> 00:51:37,456 [announcer] We'll be right back with more 877 00:51:37,556 --> 00:51:39,158 from the Hughes High Efficiency Toilet Bowl 878 00:51:39,892 --> 00:51:42,627 - brought to you by... - [female host] Have you heard about the mayor, folks? 879 00:51:42,729 --> 00:51:44,697 Yeah, this guy's a real piece of work. 880 00:51:44,797 --> 00:51:46,331 I am sick and tired... 881 00:51:46,431 --> 00:51:47,767 ? I did something crazy ? 882 00:51:47,867 --> 00:51:50,002 ? And I won't remember it tomorrow ? 883 00:51:50,103 --> 00:51:53,271 [truck engine revs] 884 00:51:55,540 --> 00:51:59,979 Don't be cocking me, fool, I go 187, blah, blah, blah. 885 00:52:02,915 --> 00:52:04,549 [female host] If you've been living under a rock 886 00:52:04,650 --> 00:52:06,018 and you have not heard by now, 887 00:52:06,119 --> 00:52:08,688 the mayor of our wonderful little town 888 00:52:08,788 --> 00:52:10,489 was arrested this morning. 889 00:52:10,589 --> 00:52:11,991 That's right, folks, I'm going to say it again. 890 00:52:12,091 --> 00:52:13,760 The mayor arrested 891 00:52:13,860 --> 00:52:15,928 on freaking Christmas Eve of all days. 892 00:52:16,028 --> 00:52:18,430 Looks like he's getting a lump of coal in his stocking. 893 00:52:18,530 --> 00:52:20,499 I'd like to slap him upside the head with it. 894 00:52:20,599 --> 00:52:22,802 They said he took hundreds of thousands of dollars 895 00:52:22,902 --> 00:52:24,402 from the road department. 896 00:52:24,503 --> 00:52:25,905 Yeah, those same busted ass roads 897 00:52:26,005 --> 00:52:27,372 you're probably driving on right now 898 00:52:27,472 --> 00:52:28,674 with the three foot craters in them. 899 00:52:28,775 --> 00:52:30,509 These roads we supposedly 900 00:52:30,609 --> 00:52:32,377 paid for with our taxes. 901 00:52:32,477 --> 00:52:34,947 This degenerate thought he could get away with it, ha. 902 00:52:35,047 --> 00:52:39,986 Walk in, Trey Trey, man up, take responsibility. 903 00:52:41,586 --> 00:52:44,690 Let's go, Trey Trey, let's go! 904 00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,963 [hip hop music] 905 00:52:51,063 --> 00:52:54,399 [breathing heavily] 906 00:52:58,037 --> 00:52:59,038 Let's go. 907 00:53:19,158 --> 00:53:22,094 [gun fires on video game] 908 00:53:22,195 --> 00:53:26,331 [phone vibrates with moaning girl] 909 00:53:40,646 --> 00:53:42,815 [female host] Nightly Talk Radio is sponsored by Shark Power Washing, 910 00:53:42,915 --> 00:53:44,884 that's the real Sharp Power Washing, got a dirty deck, 911 00:53:44,984 --> 00:53:46,953 call Sharp Power Washing, big or small, light or dark, 912 00:53:47,053 --> 00:53:49,021 they'll make your deck look cleaner, whiter, girthier. 913 00:53:49,121 --> 00:53:50,957 The whole neighborhood will be talking about your sharp deck. 914 00:53:51,057 --> 00:53:53,458 Sharp Power Washing remember, the other guys might power wash 915 00:53:53,558 --> 00:53:54,559 but they ain't real sharp. 916 00:54:03,501 --> 00:54:04,637 [knock on door] 917 00:54:04,737 --> 00:54:06,138 Soph, it's me. 918 00:54:07,073 --> 00:54:08,573 [knock on door] 919 00:54:10,877 --> 00:54:12,645 I'm sorry for what I said, shawty. 920 00:54:15,214 --> 00:54:18,017 Look, I'll help you find a doctor, 921 00:54:18,117 --> 00:54:19,517 I'll even pay for it. 922 00:54:20,119 --> 00:54:21,787 Just please open the door. 923 00:54:21,888 --> 00:54:24,056 [cries] 924 00:54:24,156 --> 00:54:27,093 [breathes heavy] 925 00:54:28,194 --> 00:54:34,399 Sophia, you should be with me-a! 926 00:54:34,700 --> 00:54:40,605 But you're a fool to be tool. 927 00:54:43,743 --> 00:54:45,577 [announcer] This is it, the clock is ticking 928 00:54:45,678 --> 00:54:47,179 and the game's on the line. 929 00:54:48,681 --> 00:54:50,816 [female host] So if you have something to say 930 00:54:50,917 --> 00:54:53,019 - about the mayor, I'd like to hear it. - [yawns] 931 00:54:53,119 --> 00:54:55,121 - Oh, man. Yeah. - We're going to open up the phone lines right now. 932 00:54:55,221 --> 00:54:57,156 300-888-72... 933 00:54:57,256 --> 00:55:00,960 [announcer] On their feet, it's all up to Noah Vanmeter now 934 00:55:01,060 --> 00:55:03,829 but I don't know, Chip, he looks kind of drunk. 935 00:55:03,930 --> 00:55:06,065 - [crowd] Noah, Noah, Noah! - [announcer] There's the snap. 936 00:55:07,033 --> 00:55:09,035 The kick is up and it's... 937 00:55:09,135 --> 00:55:12,071 - [crowd] Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah! - It's good! 938 00:55:12,171 --> 00:55:14,572 [female host] With these stinking politicians is crooked... 939 00:55:14,674 --> 00:55:17,176 [crowd] Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah, Noah! 940 00:55:17,944 --> 00:55:18,811 [Sophia] Shoe's untied. 941 00:55:19,278 --> 00:55:20,880 Better double knot it. 942 00:55:22,214 --> 00:55:23,649 [female host] 888-70... 943 00:55:24,616 --> 00:55:25,985 - There. - [engine revs] 944 00:55:26,085 --> 00:55:28,688 - [screams] - Jesus! 945 00:55:29,587 --> 00:55:31,190 These damn potholes. 946 00:55:32,557 --> 00:55:33,926 I ain't going to tax my unemployment 947 00:55:34,026 --> 00:55:37,495 when they fix the damn roads, corrupt mother... 948 00:55:42,835 --> 00:55:44,003 Mommy. 949 00:55:45,104 --> 00:55:45,972 [glass breaks] 950 00:55:46,072 --> 00:55:49,607 [hip hop Christmas music] 951 00:56:05,257 --> 00:56:07,159 [laughs] 952 00:56:09,829 --> 00:56:13,032 What the hell, he don't even look nothing like me. 953 00:56:14,667 --> 00:56:16,836 What, take that, Santa. 954 00:56:55,641 --> 00:56:56,876 [grunts] 955 00:56:58,944 --> 00:57:02,614 [female host] I hope you meet a nice big fellow behind bars, Mr. Mayor, 956 00:57:02,715 --> 00:57:05,317 a big old bubba who makes a pothole out of your behind. 957 00:57:05,418 --> 00:57:06,752 Pay that, pal. 958 00:57:07,887 --> 00:57:09,688 [window clerk] Settle down. Would you like to 959 00:57:09,789 --> 00:57:11,757 try our new Chihuahua sirachi burger? 960 00:57:11,857 --> 00:57:15,593 Um, yeah, give me one of those, 961 00:57:16,195 --> 00:57:17,797 a hound dog, 962 00:57:18,664 --> 00:57:22,134 a Yorkie and, um... 963 00:57:24,670 --> 00:57:25,971 two golden retrievers. 964 00:57:27,406 --> 00:57:28,674 Anything else? 965 00:57:29,141 --> 00:57:30,743 A strawberry shake. 966 00:57:30,843 --> 00:57:32,945 A strawberry shake. Is that all? 967 00:57:33,779 --> 00:57:35,347 Give me some extra fries too. 968 00:57:35,948 --> 00:57:38,884 Okay, your total is $17.79. 969 00:57:39,385 --> 00:57:42,988 I'll tell you what... lose the extra fries. 970 00:57:53,232 --> 00:57:56,635 Whoa, damn, girl, you packing now? 971 00:57:56,735 --> 00:57:59,805 That's that Dirty Harry shit, damn. 972 00:57:59,905 --> 00:58:02,675 Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay, okay, Soph. 973 00:58:03,776 --> 00:58:04,743 You don't have to do this. 974 00:58:05,044 --> 00:58:09,381 [upbeat music] 975 00:58:17,189 --> 00:58:19,358 - Where's your dad? - He went to get food. 976 00:58:20,025 --> 00:58:20,893 Son of a... 977 00:58:24,296 --> 00:58:25,364 21 cents. 978 00:58:27,066 --> 00:58:28,367 Holy balls! 979 00:58:29,201 --> 00:58:30,202 What? 980 00:58:32,271 --> 00:58:33,639 [screams] 981 00:58:37,977 --> 00:58:39,044 [tires screech] 982 00:58:39,912 --> 00:58:41,280 - Where's Sophia? - I don't know. 983 00:58:44,150 --> 00:58:46,185 You're not alone, I'm here. 984 00:58:46,886 --> 00:58:48,254 We could do whatever you want. 985 00:58:48,354 --> 00:58:50,756 Just put the gun down. 986 00:58:51,824 --> 00:58:54,160 [engine revs] 987 00:58:58,330 --> 00:58:59,665 I think Dad's home. 988 00:59:00,166 --> 00:59:02,034 Turn it off, time to eat. 989 00:59:06,138 --> 00:59:08,674 [reporter] Welcome back to First Action News at 11. 990 00:59:09,408 --> 00:59:12,178 [Santa] Oh, shit. [grunts] 991 00:59:17,416 --> 00:59:20,119 - [crying] - Rayjon? 992 00:59:20,219 --> 00:59:22,922 - [crying] - [police sirens blare] 993 00:59:23,022 --> 00:59:24,857 - I'm so sorry. - Are you drunk? 994 00:59:24,957 --> 00:59:26,392 I'm so sorry! 995 00:59:26,492 --> 00:59:27,960 [Theresa] Sorry for what? 996 00:59:28,060 --> 00:59:30,162 [police sirens blare] 997 00:59:31,063 --> 00:59:32,398 What did you do? 998 00:59:34,833 --> 00:59:37,336 [phone vibrates with girl moaning] 999 00:59:37,436 --> 00:59:38,704 Answer it. 1000 00:59:42,041 --> 00:59:43,042 It's nobody. 1001 00:59:45,377 --> 00:59:47,246 Get on your knees, show me your hands! 1002 00:59:47,346 --> 00:59:48,480 [crying] 1003 00:59:48,581 --> 00:59:50,015 Hey, I said on your knees! 1004 00:59:50,115 --> 00:59:52,017 - Hey, freeze, freeze! - [gun fires] 1005 00:59:52,117 --> 00:59:53,452 We got a runner. 1006 00:59:54,353 --> 00:59:55,487 Freeze, hey! 1007 00:59:57,256 --> 00:59:58,991 Right in the fucking knee! 1008 00:59:59,258 --> 01:00:00,426 Kid, hey! 1009 01:00:04,096 --> 01:00:07,399 - Kid, freaking golf clubs. Oh! - [metal clanking] 1010 01:00:08,167 --> 01:00:09,034 Come on. 1011 01:00:10,369 --> 01:00:11,437 Get off of me. 1012 01:00:13,172 --> 01:00:15,441 Hey, dispatch, what was the make on that 1022? 1013 01:00:15,541 --> 01:00:18,210 [crying] 1014 01:00:18,310 --> 01:00:19,745 Please forgive me! 1015 01:00:19,845 --> 01:00:22,848 Somebody tell me what the hell's going on! 1016 01:00:23,349 --> 01:00:26,318 [phone vibrates with girl moaning] 1017 01:00:26,418 --> 01:00:28,053 Do it now! 1018 01:00:31,590 --> 01:00:32,858 On speaker. 1019 01:00:37,029 --> 01:00:39,498 [Madison over phone] Hey, sexy, did you dump that hoe yet or what? 1020 01:00:39,598 --> 01:00:41,033 - [gun fires] - Oh! 1021 01:00:41,133 --> 01:00:42,034 Huh? 1022 01:00:42,134 --> 01:00:43,969 - [crying] - What was that? 1023 01:00:44,970 --> 01:00:46,071 I need backup. 1024 01:00:47,106 --> 01:00:49,308 [Trey hollers] 1025 01:00:49,408 --> 01:00:51,176 You shot me! 1026 01:00:51,877 --> 01:00:53,879 You shot me in the dick! 1027 01:00:54,413 --> 01:00:58,083 [Sophia] Dear God, Lord, your highness, whatever, 1028 01:00:58,183 --> 01:01:00,919 it's me again, Sophia Nefantarter. 1029 01:01:01,020 --> 01:01:02,354 [Trey] Oh, my winkie! 1030 01:01:03,088 --> 01:01:06,292 [Sophia] Thank you, thank you for this gift. 1031 01:01:06,625 --> 01:01:08,027 The gift of life. 1032 01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:10,329 I ask for your forgiveness 1033 01:01:10,929 --> 01:01:12,931 for all the bad shit that I've done, 1034 01:01:13,332 --> 01:01:15,367 for all the bad shit my family's done. 1035 01:01:16,969 --> 01:01:19,071 Please forgive us. 1036 01:01:22,141 --> 01:01:24,143 And please, God... 1037 01:01:25,944 --> 01:01:27,279 more than anything else... 1038 01:01:29,982 --> 01:01:31,917 don't let them take my baby away. 1039 01:01:34,053 --> 01:01:36,522 Don't let anyone take my baby away. 1040 01:01:37,890 --> 01:01:39,491 [hip hop music] 1041 01:01:39,591 --> 01:01:42,094 ? All I want for Christmas, yeah ? 1042 01:01:42,594 --> 01:01:44,263 ? I said, all I want for Christmas ? 1043 01:01:44,363 --> 01:01:46,031 - ? Yeah, yeah ? - [Santa grunts] 1044 01:01:46,532 --> 01:01:49,034 - ? All I want for Christmas yeah, yeah ? - Whoa. 1045 01:01:50,936 --> 01:01:54,273 ? All I want for Christmas is two bad bitches ? 1046 01:01:54,373 --> 01:01:57,543 ? A big bag of weed and a Charger on six's ? 1047 01:01:57,644 --> 01:02:01,046 - ? A fresh pair of jeans and a brand new birdie ? - [guns firing] 1048 01:02:01,146 --> 01:02:03,115 ? If I don't get everything on my list ? 1049 01:02:03,215 --> 01:02:05,050 ? Santa's getting murdered, murdered ? 1050 01:02:05,150 --> 01:02:08,120 ? All I want for Christmas is two bad bitches ? 1051 01:02:08,220 --> 01:02:11,523 ? A big bag of weed and a Charger on six's ? 1052 01:02:11,623 --> 01:02:14,960 ? A fresh pair of jeans and a brand new birdie ? 1053 01:02:15,060 --> 01:02:17,196 ? If I don't get everything on my list ? 1054 01:02:17,296 --> 01:02:19,231 ? Santa's getting murdered, murdered ? 1055 01:02:19,331 --> 01:02:22,501 ? I'm a the studio with your bitch on the low ? 1056 01:02:22,601 --> 01:02:26,071 ? Get your winter coats because I'm about to make it snow ? 1057 01:02:26,171 --> 01:02:30,342 ? I saw mama kissing Santa Clause underneath the mistletoe ? 1058 01:02:30,442 --> 01:02:32,044 ? So I called that bitch a hoe ? 1059 01:02:32,144 --> 01:02:35,114 Breaking news now coming to us from KB's Doghouse 1060 01:02:35,214 --> 01:02:36,649 on state route 12. 1061 01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:39,118 For more we go to Guy Sanders live on location. 1062 01:02:39,218 --> 01:02:40,519 Guy, what can you tell us? 1063 01:02:41,086 --> 01:02:43,622 Well, Todd, state highway patrol are now investigating 1064 01:02:43,723 --> 01:02:45,457 what seems to be a grizzly hit and run 1065 01:02:45,557 --> 01:02:48,193 which occurred sometime before 10:46 p.m. 1066 01:02:48,293 --> 01:02:49,561 When a man in a red pickup truck 1067 01:02:49,662 --> 01:02:52,264 came to this drive through to get something to eat. 1068 01:02:52,364 --> 01:02:54,466 When I looked out I couldn't believe my eyes. 1069 01:02:54,734 --> 01:02:56,602 It was a bloody mess down there. 1070 01:02:56,703 --> 01:02:58,537 There was blood everywhere and an arm sticking out. 1071 01:02:58,638 --> 01:03:00,205 There was a body under that truck. 1072 01:03:00,305 --> 01:03:02,040 [guy] That's when the suspect left the scene 1073 01:03:02,141 --> 01:03:04,209 as well as the victim on the side of the road. 1074 01:03:04,309 --> 01:03:07,146 It was ridiculous. I think he gave me the thumbs up. 1075 01:03:07,246 --> 01:03:08,648 [Guy] Vicki and Todd back to you. 1076 01:03:10,315 --> 01:03:11,316 [clears throat] 1077 01:03:11,684 --> 01:03:14,386 Me, oh, my, that is just... 1078 01:03:15,053 --> 01:03:16,188 bizarre. 1079 01:03:16,756 --> 01:03:18,090 - Yeah. - You know? 1080 01:03:19,158 --> 01:03:22,528 Todd, that's the perfect word to encapsulate 1081 01:03:22,628 --> 01:03:26,699 how I feel about that... bizarre story. 1082 01:03:27,533 --> 01:03:29,601 - Thank you, Guy. - Gruesome. 1083 01:03:30,169 --> 01:03:33,071 In other local news, community church preschoolers 1084 01:03:33,172 --> 01:03:36,241 took a field trip to the metropark's farm this morning. 1085 01:03:36,341 --> 01:03:38,577 But you're never going to guess what the children learned 1086 01:03:38,678 --> 01:03:40,713 about this squirrel's nuts. 1087 01:03:40,814 --> 01:03:44,450 ? No presents for Christmas for us when we was growing up ? 1088 01:03:44,550 --> 01:03:48,220 ? We don't celebrate holidays on the block we posted up ? 1089 01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:50,122 ? They stuck them stuck them stuck them back of the head ? 1090 01:03:50,222 --> 01:03:51,423 ? Because they got no dough ? 1091 01:03:51,523 --> 01:03:54,026 Mayor McHenry currently faces 12 counts 1092 01:03:54,126 --> 01:03:57,162 of corruption for his alleged embezzlement of county funds, 1093 01:03:57,262 --> 01:04:00,332 and could face a maximum of 12 years in state prison. 1094 01:04:00,432 --> 01:04:04,169 I guess now we know who to blame for all those unfilled potholes around town. 1095 01:04:04,269 --> 01:04:07,506 - [host laughs] - ? ...or what, ho, ho, ho ? 1096 01:04:07,606 --> 01:04:09,241 ? I'm making myself a wish list ? 1097 01:04:09,809 --> 01:04:11,510 You can't do this to me! 1098 01:04:12,110 --> 01:04:14,681 You got the wrong guy. [crying] 1099 01:04:14,781 --> 01:04:16,649 - I'm the mayor. - Well, I'm running for the black guy. 1100 01:04:16,749 --> 01:04:18,450 Don't make me tase you, bro. 1101 01:04:19,418 --> 01:04:21,286 ? I want more money more bitches ? 1102 01:04:21,386 --> 01:04:22,988 ? One who can suck it and lick it ? 1103 01:04:23,088 --> 01:04:24,657 ? And one who can cook and wash dishes ? 1104 01:04:24,757 --> 01:04:28,093 [crying] I didn't... I didn't do anything. 1105 01:04:29,461 --> 01:04:32,699 [crying] I'm a good, I'm a good man. 1106 01:04:32,799 --> 01:04:34,433 [whistling] 1107 01:04:34,834 --> 01:04:39,104 I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. [crying] 1108 01:04:41,373 --> 01:04:43,609 - Mama, I'm sorry! - [man] Come on watch your step. 1109 01:04:43,710 --> 01:04:46,345 [mayor crying] I didn't do it. 1110 01:04:47,112 --> 01:04:51,483 [cries and mumbles] 1111 01:04:51,583 --> 01:04:55,187 We will transfer juvies to JDE in a bit. 1112 01:04:57,757 --> 01:05:02,060 The rest of you'un's stay put until Judge Cheryl shows up tomorrow. 1113 01:05:05,163 --> 01:05:07,132 But with that being the holiday and all... 1114 01:05:08,701 --> 01:05:09,802 Merry Christmas. 1115 01:05:18,477 --> 01:05:20,078 [crying] 1116 01:05:20,178 --> 01:05:22,114 [woman] Hold my pocket. 1117 01:05:23,215 --> 01:05:24,316 Grandma? 1118 01:05:25,384 --> 01:05:27,252 I'm the mayor now! 1119 01:05:28,253 --> 01:05:31,256 ? My name ring bells hear jingle bells ? 1120 01:05:31,356 --> 01:05:34,426 ? I'm dressed in all red but I ain't Kris Kringle ? 1121 01:05:34,526 --> 01:05:36,261 ? They hate me they call me the Grinch ? 1122 01:05:36,361 --> 01:05:38,096 ? I'm robbing your house yeah, I'm hitting a lick ? 1123 01:05:38,196 --> 01:05:39,732 ? I'm taking your presents I'm taking your bitch ? 1124 01:05:39,832 --> 01:05:41,366 ? Taking your tree and I'm leaving you sick ? 1125 01:05:41,834 --> 01:05:45,337 [Sophia] Next time in East Jesus, Ohio. 1126 01:05:45,437 --> 01:05:48,173 [water running] 1127 01:05:48,273 --> 01:05:50,743 [woman moans] 1128 01:05:50,843 --> 01:05:55,682 [woman] Oh, give it to me, ah, oh yeah, give it to me. 1129 01:05:55,782 --> 01:05:59,351 Oh yeah, oh yeah! 1130 01:05:59,451 --> 01:06:04,089 Oh yeah, oh yeah, call me a pig. 1131 01:06:04,189 --> 01:06:07,092 [moans] Oh yeah, you filthy pig. 1132 01:06:07,192 --> 01:06:10,429 [woman moaning] 1133 01:06:11,330 --> 01:06:13,098 - Oh yeah, piggie. - [knock on door] 1134 01:06:13,565 --> 01:06:14,634 Damn it! 1135 01:06:15,702 --> 01:06:18,170 - What? - Hurry up in there. 1136 01:06:18,270 --> 01:06:19,772 It's Valentine's Day, damn it! 1137 01:06:20,272 --> 01:06:22,341 I got to get ready for my big date, 1138 01:06:22,441 --> 01:06:24,142 and you're hogging all the hot water, 1139 01:06:24,242 --> 01:06:25,210 you inconsiderate little prick! 1140 01:06:25,645 --> 01:06:28,447 [woman] Oh yeah. [moans] 1141 01:06:29,381 --> 01:06:31,550 Oh yeah, piggie. [moans] 1142 01:06:34,219 --> 01:06:35,287 [moans] 1143 01:06:36,889 --> 01:06:38,357 [knock on door] 1144 01:06:41,293 --> 01:06:42,729 You beat off too much. 1145 01:06:42,829 --> 01:06:44,731 You're bound to go blind, son. 1146 01:06:44,831 --> 01:06:48,333 I should know, how do you think I got these cataracts? 1147 01:06:54,606 --> 01:06:55,507 What the... 1148 01:06:55,607 --> 01:06:59,444 [dramatic music] 1149 01:07:29,474 --> 01:07:32,879 [upbeat music] 1150 01:08:41,047 --> 01:08:43,816 - All right, all right, all right. - [director] Action. 1151 01:08:44,449 --> 01:08:46,284 [Sophia] Just go away! 1152 01:08:46,686 --> 01:08:50,255 Okay. I was just trying to help. Good God. 1153 01:08:50,555 --> 01:08:52,424 [stomach growls] 1154 01:08:54,359 --> 01:08:56,461 - [knock on door] - How long you going to be in there? 1155 01:08:57,663 --> 01:08:59,866 I got to take the Browns to the Superbowl. 1156 01:09:00,666 --> 01:09:02,702 I got to unloose the caboose. 1157 01:09:03,903 --> 01:09:04,670 [grunts] 1158 01:09:05,570 --> 01:09:07,572 I got to drop the property value. 1159 01:09:08,674 --> 01:09:10,710 I got to launch the missiles! 1160 01:09:11,543 --> 01:09:12,912 I got to loose the cracking. 1161 01:09:13,713 --> 01:09:15,748 I got to drop a swamp pie. 1162 01:09:16,348 --> 01:09:18,583 I got to drop a baby otter. 1163 01:09:18,684 --> 01:09:22,487 Oh, I got to churn some dookie butter. Oh. 1164 01:09:23,089 --> 01:09:25,557 It's dripping down my leg! 1165 01:09:26,558 --> 01:09:28,360 [laughing] 1166 01:09:28,460 --> 01:09:31,563 [upbeat music] 1167 01:10:18,410 --> 01:10:20,780 Okay, I could use a laugh. 1168 01:10:21,180 --> 01:10:23,582 What? I'm not funny. 1169 01:10:24,516 --> 01:10:25,852 Come at me, blondie. 1170 01:10:25,952 --> 01:10:26,953 [laughs] 1171 01:10:29,421 --> 01:10:32,524 You know how I lost the weight, Krav Maga. 1172 01:10:32,624 --> 01:10:35,460 Yep, Jesus knocked me up. [scoffs] 1173 01:10:36,863 --> 01:10:40,132 It must be my lucky day, first I get some ass, 1174 01:10:40,233 --> 01:10:41,868 now I get to kick some ass. 1175 01:10:42,768 --> 01:10:45,137 I'm not 16 and pregnant. 1176 01:10:45,238 --> 01:10:49,507 Ah, you're cute, but I'm about to make you real ugly. 1177 01:10:49,608 --> 01:10:51,043 Goddamn slut. 1178 01:10:52,144 --> 01:10:53,612 I hope you're hungry, 1179 01:10:53,713 --> 01:10:55,413 because you're about to eat the pavement. 1180 01:10:55,513 --> 01:10:57,016 [chuckles] Aa! 1181 01:10:57,116 --> 01:10:59,018 I think it's that time of the month 1182 01:10:59,118 --> 01:11:00,552 for me to kick your ass. 1183 01:11:00,820 --> 01:11:02,454 [laughs] 1184 01:11:02,554 --> 01:11:03,956 Now this feels dirty. 1185 01:11:04,056 --> 01:11:07,626 [upbeat music] 1186 01:11:15,835 --> 01:11:19,939 ? It was the night before Christmas Day ? 1187 01:11:20,039 --> 01:11:24,076 ? And all the elves was busy loading up the sleigh ? 1188 01:11:24,176 --> 01:11:27,847 ? Jolly Santa was like getting his kicks ? 1189 01:11:28,580 --> 01:11:32,385 ? And some old reindeer was like learning new tricks ? 1190 01:11:32,818 --> 01:11:35,922 ? But one of the elves said "Man, we got to go ? 1191 01:11:36,989 --> 01:11:41,160 ? We're way behind and it's beginning to snow" ? 1192 01:11:41,260 --> 01:11:45,463 ? Just in Rudolph with the bloody nose ? 1193 01:11:45,563 --> 01:11:49,735 ? Come riding Santa with stains and whiskey on his clothes ? 1194 01:11:49,835 --> 01:11:53,005 ? Mrs. Clause says, "Santa, baby now where you been all night? ? 1195 01:11:54,006 --> 01:11:57,609 ? You got about 45 minutes before the daylight" ? 1196 01:11:58,144 --> 01:12:01,681 ? Big man grabbed his boots Santa was on his way ? 1197 01:12:02,614 --> 01:12:06,518 ? He started flying into JFK ? 1198 01:12:06,618 --> 01:12:10,756 ? Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ? 1199 01:12:11,857 --> 01:12:14,794 ? Ho, ho, ho, ho ho, ho, ho, ho ? 1200 01:12:15,828 --> 01:12:19,531 ? And shiny jingle bells was ringing ? 1201 01:12:19,632 --> 01:12:23,568 ? And all the little children they were singing ? 1202 01:12:23,669 --> 01:12:25,104 ? Ho ? 1203 01:12:28,007 --> 01:12:31,509 ? Then Santa pulled in to New York town ? 1204 01:12:32,144 --> 01:12:35,881 ? That customs agent was weighing him down ? 1205 01:12:35,982 --> 01:12:39,752 ? Said, "Mr. Clause your passport is 100 years old" ? 1206 01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:44,256 ? Again off with you Santa knock the man out cold ? 1207 01:12:44,991 --> 01:12:48,593 ? Went to the city told the CIA ? 1208 01:12:49,195 --> 01:12:52,798 ? Santa creeped and flea the USA ? 1209 01:12:53,565 --> 01:12:57,003 ? Made his escape and was riding real cool ? 1210 01:12:57,737 --> 01:13:01,874 ? But they shot him down over Istanbul ? 1211 01:13:01,974 --> 01:13:05,577 ? And all the reindeer started running around ? 1212 01:13:06,212 --> 01:13:10,216 ? And all the toys was broken laying on the ground ? 1213 01:13:10,316 --> 01:13:14,153 ? Santa ran to the nearest house and he bust down the door ? 1214 01:13:14,787 --> 01:13:18,224 ? Which is where he passed out upon the floor ? 1215 01:13:18,324 --> 01:13:22,962 ? Said, ho, ho, ho ho, ho, ho, ho ? 1216 01:13:24,030 --> 01:13:26,899 ? Ho, ho, ho, ho ho, ho, ho, ho ? 1217 01:13:28,034 --> 01:13:31,704 ? And shining jingle bells was ringing ? 1218 01:13:31,804 --> 01:13:35,808 ? And all the little children they were singing ? 1219 01:13:35,908 --> 01:13:37,777 ? Ho ? 1220 01:13:40,146 --> 01:13:43,849 ? And Santa woke up on Christmas Day ? 1221 01:13:44,616 --> 01:13:48,020 ? He ran around and was laughing all the way ? 1222 01:13:48,788 --> 01:13:52,291 ? Santa Clause like a fat, foolish elf ? 1223 01:13:53,025 --> 01:13:56,729 ? And realized that he had shot himself ? 1224 01:13:57,163 --> 01:14:01,300 ? He bought a ticket on the train ? 1225 01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:05,137 ? And with a little pride that remained ? 1226 01:14:05,738 --> 01:14:09,141 ? He shouted and he gave such a fright ? 1227 01:14:09,975 --> 01:14:13,345 ? Merry Christmas and have a good night ? 1228 01:14:13,446 --> 01:14:18,017 ? And ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ? 1229 01:14:19,218 --> 01:14:22,587 ? Ho, ho, ho, ho ho, ho, ho, ho ? 1230 01:14:23,089 --> 01:14:26,926 ? And shining jingle bells was ringing ? 1231 01:14:27,026 --> 01:14:30,763 ? And all the little children they were still singing ? 1232 01:14:30,863 --> 01:14:32,131 ? Ho ? 1233 01:14:44,143 --> 01:14:47,813 [woman moaning] Oh, my God, oh, oh, my God! 1234 01:14:47,913 --> 01:14:49,715 Mary mother of God! 1235 01:14:50,349 --> 01:14:52,084 Oh, for heaven's sake! 1236 01:14:52,751 --> 01:14:54,086 Sweet Jesus! 1237 01:14:54,186 --> 01:14:55,855 Holy moly! 1238 01:14:55,955 --> 01:14:57,256 Holy mackerel! 1239 01:14:58,224 --> 01:14:59,859 Holy Toledo! 1240 01:15:00,693 --> 01:15:01,894 Holy shit! 1241 01:15:01,994 --> 01:15:03,295 [woman moaning] Oh, my God! 1242 01:15:03,395 --> 01:15:06,031 Oh, oh, oh, my God! 1243 01:15:06,132 --> 01:15:07,166 Oh, amen! 1244 01:15:07,266 --> 01:15:10,769 [Christmas music] 1245 01:15:15,241 --> 01:15:19,011 ? Jingle bells what's that smell better stay out of my way ? 1246 01:15:19,111 --> 01:15:21,147 ? And if you don't I'll take your phone ? 1247 01:15:21,247 --> 01:15:23,215 ? And punch you in the face, hey ? 1248 01:15:23,315 --> 01:15:26,685 ? Jingle bells, go to hell it's time for you to pay ? 1249 01:15:26,785 --> 01:15:30,422 ? I said, oh, what fun it is to ride this town this holiday ? 1250 01:15:31,223 --> 01:15:35,060 ? Jingle bells what's that smell better stay out of my way ? 1251 01:15:35,161 --> 01:15:37,129 ? And if you don't I take your phone ? 1252 01:15:37,229 --> 01:15:39,165 ? And punch you in the face, hey ? 1253 01:15:39,265 --> 01:15:42,768 ? Jingle bells, go to hell it's time for you to pay ? 1254 01:15:42,868 --> 01:15:46,805 ? I said, oh, what fun it is to ride this town this holiday ? 1255 01:15:47,306 --> 01:15:50,976 ? Strumming through the snow on a street this Christmas Day ? 1256 01:15:51,076 --> 01:15:53,078 ? What time's the pawn shop close ? 1257 01:15:53,179 --> 01:15:55,047 ? Pulled up I'm on my way ? 1258 01:15:55,147 --> 01:15:59,185 ? Got a 40 in my hand throwing shit up in my sack ? 1259 01:15:59,285 --> 01:16:03,155 ? Hope I don't get caught again or jail I'm going back ? 1260 01:16:03,255 --> 01:16:04,990 ? I see when you're asleep ? 1261 01:16:05,090 --> 01:16:06,992 ? I see when you're awake ? 1262 01:16:07,092 --> 01:16:10,930 ? But if you try and stop me you'll make a big mistake ? 1263 01:16:11,030 --> 01:16:12,932 ? Down the chimney I will slide ? 1264 01:16:13,032 --> 01:16:15,167 ? On a cold and snowy night ? 1265 01:16:15,267 --> 01:16:19,071 ? Taking all your gifts and, bitch, I'm out of sight ? 1266 01:16:19,171 --> 01:16:21,273 ? Out of sight ? 1267 01:16:25,344 --> 01:16:26,845 ? Bitch, I'm out of sight ? 1268 01:16:26,946 --> 01:16:28,280 ? Out of sight ? 1269 01:16:33,085 --> 01:16:35,221 ? Bitch, I'm out of sight ? 1270 01:16:35,321 --> 01:16:39,091 ? Jingle bells what's that smell best stay out of my way ? 1271 01:16:39,191 --> 01:16:41,093 ? And you don't I take your phone ? 1272 01:16:41,193 --> 01:16:43,162 ? And punch you in the face, hey ? 1273 01:16:43,262 --> 01:16:46,498 ? Jingle bells, go to hell it's time for you to pay ? 1274 01:16:46,599 --> 01:16:50,869 ? I said, oh, what fun it is to ride this town this holiday ? 1275 01:16:51,270 --> 01:16:55,140 ? Jingle bells what's that smell best stay out of my way ? 1276 01:16:55,241 --> 01:16:57,042 ? And if you don't I take your phone ? 1277 01:16:57,142 --> 01:16:59,211 ? And punch you in the face, hey ? 1278 01:16:59,311 --> 01:17:02,481 ? Jingle bells, go to hell it's time for you to pay ? 1279 01:17:02,581 --> 01:17:06,720 ? I said, oh, what fun it is to ride this town this holiday ? 1280 01:17:07,219 --> 01:17:09,088 ? Don't work at the mall ? 1281 01:17:09,188 --> 01:17:11,190 ? These jells can suck my balls ? 1282 01:17:11,290 --> 01:17:15,060 ? Go ahead and stare I'll, bitch, slap all you all ? 1283 01:17:15,160 --> 01:17:17,029 ? Your kids ain't getting shit ? 1284 01:17:17,129 --> 01:17:18,998 ? They're little naughty pricks ? 1285 01:17:19,098 --> 01:17:22,801 ? And your address is next here on my shopping list ? 1286 01:17:22,901 --> 01:17:24,803 ? I take my cookies with some weed ? 1287 01:17:24,903 --> 01:17:26,972 ? Your tobacco is all I need ? 1288 01:17:27,072 --> 01:17:29,008 ? Get that shit out of my face ? 1289 01:17:29,108 --> 01:17:31,076 ? Because they don't know how to read ? 1290 01:17:31,176 --> 01:17:33,045 ? It's freezing cold out here ? 1291 01:17:33,145 --> 01:17:35,014 ? Can't afford no damn rain gear ? 1292 01:17:35,114 --> 01:17:36,548 ? But even though I'm broke ? 1293 01:17:36,650 --> 01:17:38,817 ? Your joke is the favorite time of year ? 1294 01:17:55,267 --> 01:17:59,071 ? Jingle bells what's that smell best stay out my way ? 1295 01:17:59,171 --> 01:18:01,040 ? And if you don't I take your phone ? 1296 01:18:01,140 --> 01:18:03,208 ? And punch you in the face, hey ? 1297 01:18:03,309 --> 01:18:06,545 ? Jingle bells, go to hell it's time for you to pay ? 1298 01:18:06,646 --> 01:18:10,849 ? I said, oh, what fun it is to ride this town this holiday ? 1299 01:18:11,250 --> 01:18:15,120 ? Jingle bells what's that smell you best stay out my way ? 1300 01:18:15,220 --> 01:18:17,122 ? And if you don't I'll take your phone ? 1301 01:18:17,222 --> 01:18:19,224 ? And punch you in the face, hey ? 1302 01:18:19,325 --> 01:18:22,828 ? Jingle bells, go to hell it's time for you to pay ? 1303 01:18:22,928 --> 01:18:26,865 ? I said, oh, what fun it is to ride this town this holiday ? 1304 01:18:29,301 --> 01:18:32,471 ? Worst Christmas ever ? 1305 01:18:34,273 --> 01:18:36,241 [laughing] 1306 01:18:37,309 --> 01:18:40,913 ? God, I'm taking all your shit ? 1307 01:18:41,280 --> 01:18:43,282 ? What, what, what, what, what ? 1308 01:18:43,949 --> 01:18:46,352 - [gun fires] - [Trey] Oh, shit! 1309 01:18:46,452 --> 01:18:48,987 You shot me in the dick! 1310 01:18:49,088 --> 01:18:51,290 My willy! 1311 01:18:51,390 --> 01:18:53,325 My wee-wee! 1312 01:18:53,425 --> 01:18:55,494 My ding-dong! 1313 01:18:55,594 --> 01:18:58,330 My tommy whacker! 1314 01:18:58,430 --> 01:19:02,267 My wang, my bologny bony! 1315 01:19:03,168 --> 01:19:05,104 My little Trey Trey. 1316 01:19:05,204 --> 01:19:09,975 [laughing] 1317 01:19:10,101 --> 01:19:15,101 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 98384