Original subtitles

♪

(Organ playing funeral music)

MAN: Heaven or hell?

People don't find out where they're headed until they die.

But I know. I know where everyone's going.

Because I'm the one who makes the decision.

(Organ continues playing)

This was the moment my life changed forever.

Because God starting speaking to me.

(Angelic choir singing)

♪

He gave me a job.

My purpose in life.

The judgements.

♪

He told me as long as I trusted my instincts

and did my job...

everything would be alright.

(Angelic choir singing)

♪

♪

(Alarm clock blaring)

(Second alarm beeping)

(Watch alarm beeping)

♪

♪

My name is Walter Gary Benjamin.

My friends call me Wally.

My enemies call me "kid" or "dumb-ass"

or sometimes "stupid fuck."

My mom has always gone with Walt,

and my dad, whenever I talk to him, goes with Walter.

He's God, by the way. My dad.

And no, I'm not Jesus, that was someone else.

With a beard.

♪

(Record scratching)

(German folk music playing)

♪

WOMAN: Eggs?

I have to go to work.

It's an important part of life, you know, eating.

I'm sorry, but being late is not an option.

You're never late.

Because I always leave at the same time. Goodbye.

Well, what if you starve to death on the way to work?

I won't. You might!

I won't.

Your bus could crash.

Everybody dies on impact, except you.

But the paramedics can't get to you,

because you're trapped,

under all the twisted metal,

and the other dead passengers,

and then there's gas, all over the road!

Now it doesn't explode, which is a good thing.

But while they're busy making

all of their explosion preparations,

who dies of starvation?

You do!

♪ When the road disappears into the night ♪

♪ Follow the dark 'til dawn! ♪

♪ The angels of the thunder ♪

♪ Fold their wings in wonder ♪

♪ On our way to Babylon ♪

♪ When the storm falls upon the open sea ♪

♪ The Beast won't be hunting long ♪

♪ So love the Saviour, hold our hearts in favour ♪

♪ On our way to Babylon ♪

WALTER: Being who I am isn't always easy.

The job of deciding someone's eternal fate

is a great responsibility.

♪ The sound of drums beats from the hills ♪

♪ They sing the final song ♪

♪ But we never hear them, lest the people fear them ♪

♪ On our way to Babylon ♪

♪ (Humming hymn) ♪

Him, hell. Her, heaven.

Heaven.

Heaven, hell. Heaven.

Heaven.

When making a judgement,

I'm required to look past the obvious.

♪ The Son of the Father turns around ♪

♪ Wondering where we've gone ♪

Heaven. Heaven. Heaven.

♪ On our way to Babylon ♪

♪ (Humming hymn) ♪

Most of the time, I'm able to do my job without question.

But it's hard for me on this particular city bus.

When I was eleven, I took this same bus to the hospital

with Jim a lot.

He told me if he could fight fires for a living,

a little disease was nothing to worry about.

Then everything's gonna be okay?

Then everything's gonna be okay.

♪

Dad, when I grow up, I'm gonna be...

♪

(Vacuum cleaner whirring)

(Snapping fingers)

Look at this kid, all eager and shit.

I take the time out of my day to address

your quirky little dumb-ass self,

and you're just gonna blow me off?

I'm working, Vince.

No, you're vacuuming. I'm working.

Constantly. See, I got this call back on this jack-in-the-box

spot they're shooting up in Chi-town.

Corey gave each of us a list of pre-matinee duties

that we're supposed to... Corey gave up on life

when he gained 40 pounds, opted against using Rogaine

and decided to manage a fuckin' movie theater

was an acceptable career choice.

He's still our boss. No, he's your boss.

My boss is Brando.

My boss is motherfucking Denzel.

My... my boss is that guy who played Gandhi

in that old-ass Gandhi movie. Corey ain't shit.

What was that?

Ha! You know, I saw you creeping up my perphery.

You like what I was doing there?

I was like, you know, "Corey ain't shit!",

knowing the whole time you were coming right up on me.

That's funny!

Theater 3 has puke in one of the aisles,

just for you, Vince.

Yeah. Yeah, my boy, he's all over that.

Usually, when someone identifies you by name,

they're talking to you.

Unless you've changed your name to Douchebag.

(Sucking teeth)

(Man singing indistinctly over radio)

Lobby looks good.

Thank you.

The lobby floor is highest on my list of pre-matinee duties,

so I always make sure to... Jesus Christ.

(Clearing throat, vacuum whirring)

♪

VINCE: Undigested Milk Duds. Look at 'em.

No thank you.

Just fuckin' look at 'em!

You're seein' general human condition bullshit

going on right in there, man!

It's just a metaphor for life, stupid fuck!

(Door opening)

♪

WALTER: That's Kendall.

Definitely heaven.

I've liked her since the moment she started working here,

but she's Concessions. I'm Tickets.

VINCE: Yo, Kendall!

If only I can figure out how to talk to her.

It's about time, Wally...

She says, cueing the music.

(Waltz music playing)

She says something cool, poetic.

Something cool,

poetic.

I respond with equally profound

yet effortless banter.

Words, words, words.

♪

I love you.

You're staring.

What?

You're staring, dumb-ass.

I wasn't staring.

No, whatever you say, Brokeback Rain Man.

Vince! What?

Stop. Hey, it's cool.

I'm... I'm all secure in my shit.

Like, I don't want you to think that I'm hatin' on

the goofy bitch, I just...

I'm totally into the ladies, so I gotta be like,

"Yo, you know, keep the homo party on that side of the...

"the lobby, 'cause I only bang chicks."

You know what I mean?

Look, it's okay, don't feel bad about yourself.

I got an appeal. It's an it-factor.

I wasn't staring.

Does this normally work for you?

What? When you talk.

(Inhaling)

Dramatic tension.

Wow.

I wasn't staring at Vince.

Umm... I'm gonna go set up before we open.

Well, w... I wasn't staring.

(Clearing throat) I wasn't.

WALTER: Even for the most dedicated Cineplex employee,

there are extended gaps of down-time.

I spend mine watching movies.

Comedy, romance, action,

whatever it is Tyler Perry thinks he's doing.

As long as I can just watch. No judging.

(Man speaking indistinctly in movie)

(Watch beeping)

(Chattering, laughing)

(Man laughing)

Heaven. Heaven.

What...

♪

WALTER: Theater 1 to your left. Heaven.

♪

Theater 2. Heaven.

♪

Theater 8 to your right. Hell.

♪

(Air brakes hissing)

♪

(Insects chirping)

(Dog barking)

(Humming tune)

(Twig snapping)

Hello?

What do you want?

(Bushes rustling)

♪

(Keys jangling)

♪

Good day at work?

Fine. It was fine.

I made eggs.

I'm... I'm not... I'm not...

Are you sick? No.

Oh, Walt, you don't look good.

Did you catch something?

I'm fine.

I told you to get a flu shot.

You're working at that movie theater,

with all those people with butter

and bathroom doorknob feces on their hands.

I'll get the thermometer.

♪

♪

(Soft rustling)

(Bed-frame creaking)

(Insects chirping)

(Distant owl hooting)

(Insects chirping)

(Birds singing)

(Child laughing distantly)

(Floorboards creaking)

(Footsteps falling)

(Twig snapping)

♪

(Alarm clocks blaring)

(Watch alarm beeping)

♪

♪

(Military march playing)

♪ (Humming hymn) ♪

WALTER: Heaven, heaven.

Listen, man, I don't know what's wrong...

Hell.

But I need it today, not tomorrow.

♪

(Music slowing down)

(Music resuming normal tempo)

WALTER: Heaven. Heaven.

Heav... (Music slowing down)

(Music resuming normal tempo)

WALTER: Heaven.

Heav... (Music slowing down)

Hell. Heaven.

(Brakes screeching)

(Breathing heavily)

WALTER: Theater 3 to your left. Heaven.

(Indistinct chattering)

Theater 2 to your right. Polo heaven, tank-top hell.

Anybody say he'd be your Prince Charming?

Do you think or you just completely...

Uhh, Theater 4 right... uhh, to your right. Hell.

♪

PATRON: Hello?

Come on, man, I'll miss my movie. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Where are you going, ticket guy?

Just make the judgement, kid.

This is not... Yes or no,

up or down, heaven or hell, I really don't care,

but I can't be here any longer.

You're not... you're not even...

I know who you are.

This isn't... This isn't...

Do your job.

I can't get a reading... PATRON: Can I get a new ticket guy?

Mine's broken.

Do... your... job.

♪

(Patrons muttering)

(Panting)

MAN: Must be nice.

If I had a direct line like you, I wouldn't have to do this.

WALTER: Do what? Who are you?

I'm Greg.

Greg?

Yeah. Gregory Douglas Tomlinson,

if that helps with the paperwork.

How do you... Hmm? How do I what?

Know who I am. No one knows.

No one living, at least.

Boo.

It's a stupid joke. It's... I just...

I've been waiting a long time to try that out, so...

You're dead.

My lack of colour give me away?

That's why I couldn't get a read.

So what's the plan? How did you find me?

I'm dead, Walter.

I'm dead and I'm talking to you.

I judge the living.

You judge everyone.

Everyone living!

So I'm...

I'm stuck here like this?

I don't know! I... I don't...

Well, I can't!

Living, dead,

what's the difference?

I told you, I can't get a read...

A read, a read, right, whatever.

Uhh, make a guess.

I honestly don't care where you send me,

just get me outta here.

Flip a goddamn coin!

It doesn't work that way.

Why not?

Because I have to know.

Who cares?

He does.

I have to be right, that's how it works.

And how does that happen

with normal people who aren't, you know, dead?

I just see them and I know.

You do all this on a fuckin' hunch?

I wouldn't expect you to understand how I work.

There's certain... mysteries that can't be explained.

GREG: Mysterious ways, right.

Godspeak for bullshit.

(Groaning)

Can't feel anything.

You have any idea what that's like?

I'm sorry, but I...

I still can't help you.

What's the harm in trying, Walter?

I have work to do, and anything that keeps me

from doing that work is harmful, so please...

Go away.

(Door slamming)

(Music playing on radio)

Okay, I know I promised not to talk about it...

I'm fine. You don't look fine.

I told you we're not talking about it.

Well, you have kind of a plague-y look.

Plague-y?

Well, a pre-plague-y look,

but that's how it starts. I don't have the plague.

Ohh, The plague. As if there's only one.

Goodnight, Mom.

Okay, okay, okay. This time I promise:

We will not talk about it.

You won't keep that promise. How do you know?

Because you've broken it five times since we started eating.

Well, then tell me! Tell you what?

Whatever it is!

You're gay.

What?

Aren't you?

I'm not gay.

It's okay if you are.

But I'm not.

(Chuckling)

Well, you're something.

Something not gay!

(Chuckling)

The book said you'd say that.

And the book about having a depressed son

said I would deny being depressed if confronted,

and so did the one about having an alcoholic son,

and a cutter, and a crystal meth addict, and... Hey.

I mean, it makes the most sense.

And I want you to know that I am totally okay with it.

Goodnight, Mom.

Walt!

I'm not sick, I'm not gay and I'm not hungry.

KAREN: Walt?

Whatever's going on with you, you have to talk about it.

If not with me, then with somebody.

There must be good therapists out there.

We can find one.

Walt?

Walt!

I'm not dead, Mom.

Just checking.

♪

♪

♪ (Indistinct song playing) ♪

WOMAN: Karen?

Karen Benjamin?

No.

Oh, my Christ, is that you?

I haven't seen you in so... Honey, hug!

Oh... Oh, yeah, we're doin' it!

How are you? I'm great.

I gotta tell you,

that office was never the same after you left, mmm-mm.

Oh... Really.

What have you been doing?

How's little Walter?

Oh, I guess he's not so little anymore.

Gotta be in college by now, right?

Yeah, college and... girlfriend.

I mean, he's great.

We're... we're... we're great.

Oh, that's great!

Umm...

Wow!

Oh, well, you know, we ran out of eggs.

(Insects chirping)

(Sighing)

♪

(Keys jangling)

(Engine starting)

♪

(Sighing)

♪

♪ I'm a sucker for a pretty face ♪

♪ And you're as pretty as they come ♪

♪

♪ So what if ♪

♪ The conversation... ♪

Hey, Walter.

You want some popcorn?

I made it just for you.

Special. With extra butter...

KAREN'S VOICE: And bathroom doorknob feces.

(Orgasmic moaning)

KAREN'S VOICE: Let me know how many eggs you want for breakfast, Walt.

KENDALL: Wally?

Walter!

GREG: Walter.

(Birds singing)

GREG: Walter...

Don't be like that, Walter.

Go away!

That's all I'm trying to do, buddy, go away.

Forever.

WALTER: Leave me alone!

Not a chance.

Wanna snuggle?

Stop!

Stop! You have to stop! You have...

(Panting nervously)

Are you gone?

Is this destructive ghost silence,

or "gone forever because you've realized I can't help you"

silence?

(Knocking on door)

KAREN: Walt?

(Panting)

I'm... I'm fine! Every... everything's fine.

I can hear you yelling in there.

You can go away now, 'cause everything's okay,

and I just need to start getting ready now, so I...

Umm... I have your clothes ready.

Thank you.

I'll just...

Everything's fine?

(Alarm clock blaring, clattering)

Oh, I forgot the battery. What?

You asked me to get one with a battery for a backup.

Right. Batteries.

It's important to be on time.

(Alarms beeping)

Well, everything's fine.

I need to get ready now. I have a lot to do today, so...

Okay.

Does it help?

What?

If something's wrong with you,

if something isn't making sense...

does it help to talk to someone about it?

Yes.

I really need to start getting ready now.

As soon as I'm done hugging you.

♪

♪

Walter Benjamin.

That's my name, yes.

That is your name. Walter Gary Benjamin.

Ohh. You hiding bodies, Walter Gary Benjamin?

Bodies?

You got a sort of serial killer kind of name.

Anyone ever tell you that?

No.

Of course not, that's a terrible thing to say!

So, what kind of crazy are you?

I'm not crazy. DR. CORMAN: Sure.

But since you're here, might as well pretend

you're not completely sane and normal

so that I can pretend to make you less crazy.

You ever been in therapy before?

No.

Your mom said that after your dad died,

she took you to at least ten different therapists.

He wasn't my dad.

Who?

I didn't come here to talk about him.

Well, who'd you come to talk about?

Greg. Greg.

He's a ghost.

Greg's a ghost.

Yes.

And that's who you came to talk about?

Greg, the ghost?

Yeah.

I'm not supposed to see ghosts.

That was never...

(Sighing) There's a plan.

Of course there is.

But I can't really get into that.

Greg needs to go.

Okay? He's not supposed to be here, so...

there must be something wrong with me, in my brain?

If you know how to fix this, I need you to do it

as quickly as possible, because it's starting to have

a very negative effect on my work.

Could we go back to Jim for a second?

I'd rather not.

Well, of course you wouldn't, but I'm a doctor,

this is my office, and I'm bigger than you,

so let's do it my way for a second.

Is Jim a ghost too?

If I tell you, you have to promise not to get angry.

Why would I get angry?

Because you're going to hell.

(Laughing)

Tell me something I don't know.

♪

(Muttering indistinctly)

(Music playing indistinctly over theater speakers)

(Candy rattling)

(Humming)

(Sighing)

(Vince talking indistinctly)

You have the most beautiful eyes, you should show those.

You should really show those, they're really nice.

Thank you.

VINCE: Damn, they'd look really good for cameras...

(Vince continues talking indistinctly)

That picks it up, and then when you down the iris scope...

♪

(Sighing) She's beautiful.

Yes, she is.

Gonna talk to her?

You don't exist and I have work to do,

so I'd rather not have this conversation.

Just say the word, and I'm gone.

Go!

That's not the word I'm lookin' for.

Mine starts with an "H", preferably two syllables,

but I'll take what I can get.

Go away!

Talk to her, and I will.

Really?

Not forever, O Chosen One.

You're not getting rid of me 'til you do your job.

But I'll give you the afternoon off.

And all I have to do is just... go... just...

Talk to her like a person would, yeah.

But I don't think you have the balls.

I've got plenty of...

balls.

Prove it.

(Sighing)

Hi. What's going on?

Uhh, maybe if there's some free time after

all the matinees start, I could buy you some Junior Mints

or something. But you wouldn't have to eat them with me,

they... they'd be a gift for you to enjoy at your own leisure.

Umm, actually... all of us back here kinda just...

borrow the candy that we want, for free,

so we don't have to pay for it. Shh.

I'm right here.

It's fine, he doesn't care.

See ya later.

"Maybe after the matinees start,

"I could buy you some Junior Mints or something?"

That was fucking beautiful, bro. Really, I mean it.

I'm actually... I'm... I'm a little hard right now,

having just experienced the joy of watching you do

your thing, man! That was great!

My mom says that you're supposed to treat women with respect,

and talk to them about things that they're interested in.

And Kendall sells Junior Mints... Oh, God, hey,

I was just fuckin' with you, man.

I know you're all in love with her and shit, it's cool.

I get it. But, I should let you know that, umm,

as your co-worker, and I like to think as your friend, that...

I'm probably gonna nail that at some point.

Like, really hard! Oh yeah, she got a crazy side.

Has some sort of breakdown or something

at that fancy-ass college

she was going to. Yeah, plus, I heard

she ain't talked to her dad

since she tried to go pro as a cutter.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I kinda like that.

Unstable bitches are the shit, bro.

You know, I don't want to ruin, you know,

what you and I have, 'cause I like to think that

you and I have like a Of Mice and Men thing.

You know, I'm George.

Or Lennie. Whichever one isn't the fuckin' retard,

and I don't wanna ruin that, you know?

So, for... for your sake, and for our sake, really,

just try not to picture her riding my dick.

Even though it's totally gonna happen.

Yo, Kendall!

You pictured it. Ah, it's cool, man. You're welcome.

I didn't picture it!

♪

I didn't picture it.

I do.

WALTER: Most people seem really worried about being alone.

I guess I can understand how someone can see life

as random and meaningless.

Even cruel, at times.

So it makes sense they'd spend most,

if not all of their time,

doing their best to ensure they don't have to go

through it by themselves.

♪

Safety in numbers, I suppose.

♪

♪

(Exhaling)

Not sure I understand the rules of this particular game,

but I'm pretty sure we're both losing.

So, how'd it go with the girl?

Fine. You sure about that?

Go away! Make me.

WALTER: You know I can't do anything...

We've got a big day ahead of us, Walter.

Figure we should get going soon,

so I can get you back in time for work.

Back?

You do have, like, adults' clothes, right?

Back from where? Huh? Field trip.

What?

A Son of God, I would think a clothing allowance

would be in order.

Why are we... I'm not going on a field trip with you.

You're not even real!

WALTER: I have a therapist now.

Ohh. Yeah, you know, he's... gonna fix this, so...

I'm not going anywhere with you, and even if I did,

I'm not capable of sending you to Heaven or Hell,

so you're just gonna have to get help with your problem

from someone else.

Okay?

Huh? Sorry, didn't catch most of that,

I was too busy suffering from the weight of ten years

of unrealized post-death eternity to hear you.

Care to run all that by me again?

That's the best you got?

I can't wear that.

A church?

Stop messin' with your suit, you look fine.

I do?

No, but we're late.

(Sighing)

You never told me how.

How what?

You were able to find me.

Mysterious ways, I guess.

I still don't know what we're doing here,

and I haven't been inside a church since Jim's funeral,

and I just... I don't...

the suit's really uncomfortable!

It's making my thighs all sweaty,

and I don't understand what...

PRIEST: And then we'll go through your vows.

You've both written them by now, yes? (Laughing)

WOMAN: We'll have them done by tomorrow, I promise.

This is weird, we shouldn't be here. Not yet.

PRIEST: "Wind Beneath My Wings", a Capella.

Look, we should leave. (Couple laughing)

PRIEST: Okay, alright,

and then we'll have the presentation of the rings.

(Snapping fingers) That's your cue.

And, uhh...

Mason.

PRIEST: Don't chew gum throughout the ceremony...

Who's Mason?

My son.

(Giggling)

Baby girl. Goddamn beautiful baby girl.

(Sighing) You have a family?

Had. Had, yeah.

Now, to her credit,

it took her almost a decade to re-marry.

All this time, you've just been...

I don't stalk 'em or anything.

Anymore. I just keep tabs.

Make sure everyone's okay.

I mean, the new guy's a little stiff.

Pretty sure he's breathin'.

So...

So what?

Where are they headed?

You... you mean...

I'm assuming that you judge 'em one by one.

You don't have, like, an afterlife family plan

or anything, right?

Look, this isn't, really...

So, they're gonna be okay?

I... I mean...

She's not perfect.

But for whatever it's worth, she doesn't deserve Hell.

And if you even think about fucking over

either one of my kids...

I can't talk about it. What?

Other people's judgements is not for anyone else to know.

Come on. I can't.

That's my fuckin' family. Not anymore!

PRIEST: And you're off to start your life as husband and wife,

happily ever after. Sound like a game plan?

WOMAN: Thank you!

I'm sorry. No, that's good.

That's good. It's... you know you got your rules.

(Wedding party applauding) Certainly convenient.

(Chattering softly)

♪

Where are you going?

I'm late for work!

♪

Nothing to worry about, kiddo.

Just some more tests.

Tests for what?

Well... come here.

They wanna know if I'm really from Mars,

or if I'm just weird.

You should get tested too.

(Laughing) You're weird. Are you weird or just a Martian, Walter?

(Imitating UFO beeping)

WOMAN OVER PA: Jim Benjamin.

Jim Benjamin.

Wish me luck.

(Imitating UFO beeping)

Okay, uhh, do you know the (Unclear) number?

Yeah. I just need you to sign for that, it's the top form.

And then, uhh, I'll be back in a bit.

Alright. Sorry!

(Laughing) Thank you.

♪

(Speaking indistinctly)

(Laughing)

♪

(Door opening)

(Vince laughing uproarously)

Oh, man, you're making this shit too easy on me, Rain Man.

Hey, by the way, you're late, motherfucker.

(Woman gasping) What?

Wally!

Wally.

Hello, Kendall.

How's your day going... so far... today?

Umm, it's... it's good.

Yes, it's, uhh, it's good so far.

Good. (Clearing throat)

Hey, tell me to just shut up if I'm prying,

or anything, but the past couple days,

you've seemed a little off, or something.

I'm fine, thank you.

Cool suit you got there.

It's too small.

And very uncomfortable in a variety of places,

and it's making my thighs continue to sweat even though

I'm now in a very well air-conditioned building.

I feel weird now.

No, Wally... Goodbye.

Well, well, well, you are exactly...

(Muttering)

You're late.

Which means you have to do Vince's shit-work.

But I'm the ticket-taker/ ticket-tearer.

Sorry, Miho, I don't make up the...

What is... what are you wearing?

A suit.

I didn't even know you had other clothes.

It's too small. Yeah, a little bit.

♪

At least pretend to be a little rattled.

I'm a ghost, man! You owe me that much.

I'm working. Yeah, apparently.

You made me late. So?

I'm never late.

Hey, I'm sorry, but...

What's the Son of God doing working at a movie theater?

Shouldn't you be, like, curing lepers or something?

Miracles were phased out over a thousand years ago.

I'm pretty sure lepers don't go to the movies very often.

Never answered my question.

The lobby offers constant access to new people for judgment.

Just makes sense to work here.

Bullshit!

There'd be like three times as many people

at McDonalds or the fuckin' DMV. Why here?

He used to take me here a lot.

Who? Jim.

Who's Jim? Even after he got sick.

"A nice escape from reality," he called it.

Walter... So now I work here.

But instead of doing my cineplex duties,

I'm the trash collector/ trash emptier,

which is the punishment for being late,

which I only am because of you,

which... which I don't even think

you've properly acknowledged. You miss him?

(Sighing)

GREG: They don't miss me. I mean, you know.

I have to go back to work.

You know her, don't ya?

Who? Allie.

The way you looked at her, at the church.

I need to get back inside... How do you know her?

Just please leave me alone.

I'm not gonna watch her walk down that aisle, Walter.

It has to be now! Do your job!

♪

DR. CORMAN: No!

Church? Really?

WALTER: I know we talked about this.

You let Greg the ghost take you to a house of worship?!

You did that!

Can I just explain...

Hold on, I've gotta get another lap in

before I listen to this.

Oh, my... (Groaning).

Alright.

Go. I just thought that...

It's crazy.

What?

It doesn't matter what you're about to say

if what you're about to say is

you went to church with a dead guy.

Who we both had agreed was not an actual dead guy,

but the kind of dead guy only crazy people see!

But, you don't... Crazy!

And I will be completely honest with you.

You're lookin' a bit off at the moment. Off?

Not that you were ever a picture of "on." No...

Should I leave? Yes.

Really?

You didn't have an appointment. You said I could come in!

Why did you come here?

Because I think that this is an emergency.

No, no, I mean, why did you come here initially?

I... came here to...

To?

Stop seeing the...

To stop seeing Greg the ghost,

that's why you came here.

You knew enough to know that seeing dead people was crazy.

So why,

Walter Gary Benjamin,

are you now going on dates with him?!

He's very persistant!

Leave. What?

Seriously, you gotta go.

But... but... I'm trying... Crazy.

He... you don't understand. He seems real.

Crazy. He's got a family, and I know they're real.

Straight-up batshit.

I'm sorry, Walter, but that's my professional opinion;

You're beyond fixing. Goodbye.

(Sighing in frustration)

You know Greg ain't the problem, right?

I just came here because I just... I just need...

I know why you think you came here,

but that doesn't help me,

and I doubt it's doing much for you either.

Aren't you supposed to ask me questions about stuff?

Isn't that how this works?

It's a pretty popular approach, yeah.

What do you think you should be asking me about?

I got these pages and pages of notes here,

mostly stuff about Greg. And try as I might,

with my undeniable talent and insight,

I can't seem to come up with a single worthwhile question

out of any of this.

But...

There is one question we touched on briefly

that I'm thinking might merit a second look.

Who's Jim?

♪

I love the movies, Dad...

♪

JIM: Come on, Walter.

♪

(Laughing)

♪

MAN: No one is coming.

And we're all gonna starve to death if we stay up here.

MAN 2: What are you saying?

(Man sighing)

MAN: I'm saying that those things are still in the house,

and if we stay up here

with no food or no water, we're all gonna die.

First David.

Then Mersp, Centreller.

And then Teller.

There is no search and rescue.

MAN 2: We're gonna have to leave.

First, someone's gonna have to go get it,

and bring it around the other side of...

Hey, Wally.

(Sniffling)

Uhh... how'd you know it was me?

MAN: What about me?

You're always sort of here, aren't you?

WOMAN: Hopefully they'll stay

where I can see really well.

I guess I love movies.

I know. I'm sure you do, but...

it's different for you, isn't it?

MAN: I don't know, Taylor, what if they...

Everything sort of is.

You know what happens if we stay up here. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm just...

The crazy thing is, I really like this movie.

Well, then why are you crying?

These guys are gonna be chasing you,

so you'll have to punch the car...

I don't know.

♪

We're all broken, Wally.

(Sniffling, sighing)

But maybe that's okay.

MAN: You got it?

MAN 2: I got it.

MAN: Okay, I'm going.

♪

♪

♪

(Wood creaking, sighing)

Please go away.

Whatcha prayin' for?

The girl? It's the girl, right?

Askin' Daddy to pull a few strings? I like it.

I mean, if the Son of God can't get the girl of his dreams,

really, what chance does true love have in this world?

Why are you doing this?

Allie will be someone else's wife in less than an hour.

Please. I can't help you.

What if I told you everything?

What?

Like everything.

The stuff that you normally see when you...

look into someone's soul or whatever.

I'll just lay it out there.

It doesn't work that way, and even if it did,

how would I know you were telling me the truth?

You don't even have the instincts

to tell if a man's lying or not?

Ask me anything!

You think I'm bullshitting you in any way,

I will leave you alone forever.

I can't really get into the logistics... She was gonna leave me.

Why are you telling me this?

You might understand this... unrequited pining thing

or whatever you're doing with Popcorn Girl, but, uhh...

to actually have the girl, to have her love you...

like, start a family together...

to know someone in such a perfect way, like completely,

that's the best, man.

That's the best. I had that.

So you think I'm afraid of Hell?

That's Hell. Worse than Hell. Having that, losing it.

Don't need you or God or anyone else

to explain that to me.

(Sighing)

So what do you say, Walter?

Walter?

Deal with me, you chicken-shit little bitch...

How'd you die?

What am I supposed... How did you die?

(Sucking teeth)

I mean...

she was my life.

I answer your question, and you run off.

Poor form, Son of God.

Poor form. What are you doing?

We have to go.

Go where?

WALTER: Another field trip.

♪

(Church bells tolling)

No.

You think it started already?

What does it matter?

It's not like you're invited.

GREG: Whoa, hey, Walter!

I need to talk to her! Whoa!

Don't do this, man!

You can't just show up at her wedding.

Hey, hey, what's the plan here?

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh ♪

Excuse me. PRIEST: Honourable Estate.

Excuse me! Made by God in Paradise,

into its holy...

Excuse me!

(Guests gasping)

Uhh... sorry, sorry.

I'm sorry to interrupt.

Son, I'm sorry, this is a private ceremony.

I need to talk to the... I'm gonna have to ask you to leave right now.

My name is Walter Gary Benjamin, I need to talk to the bride!

MAN: Really?

Wait!

(Wedding guests muttering)

It's okay, I know him.

♪

DARREN: Uhh, Allie...

Can you give us a minute? Please?

Just trust me, I...

DARREN: You yell if you need me.

ALLIE: I will.

I gotta say, your timing could use some work.

Do you know why I'm here?

Do you?

You were at the rehearsal too, weren't you?

I couldn't quite place you then, but...

You look just like him.

(Beeping)

Are you okay?

(Beeping continues)

No.

(Beeping continues)

No, I'm not.

Walter.

(Beeping continues)

Walter?

(Beeping continues)

♪

(Beeping continues)

♪

(Distant voices chattering, laughing)

(Laughing)

Oh, this smells so good.

Well, you probably won't be able to keep much down

once you start chemo.

I figured you should have a shot at some real food beforehand.

Last meal, so to speak.

Don't say that.

(Heart monitor beeping)

Is it bad... that I love you?

I'm sorry, I shouldn't... No, no, no, no.

It's okay.

(Heart monitor beeping)

WOMAN ON PA: Doctor Forrest, dial 118, please.

Doctor Forrest, please dial 1-1-8.

♪

(Sobbing, wailing)

Mom? (Sobbing)

Mom? Mom! Mom!

(Sobbing, speaking indistinctly)

♪

Stop it, stop it. Stop it! Stop!

Stop!

No, stop, stop! Walter?

Wal... hey, Walter, honey, take a deep breath.

Are you okay? I'm calling 911. No, Darren, he's...

This is crazy!

Walter, it's okay, honey. No, no, no...

Okay, look, take a deep breath

and come sit down for a moment, okay?

She is a nurse, listen to her! Okay, Darren...

I should go.

I loved him!

If that matters.

So did I.

And it doesn't.

(Footsteps falling)

(Wedding guests muttering)

MAN: Hey!

(Guests chattering)

(Jet engines roaring)

Told you it was a bad idea.

Why didn't you say anything?

Look, man, I had my own shit to figure out here.

How was I supposed to know about...

Wait, you knew about Jim and Allie this whole time?

Look, I think maybe we should, uhh, calm down a bit, before...

Answer the question.

Of course I fuckin' knew.

You gonna try and tell me you didn't?

What?

I mean, really.

How long do we keep doing this?

I didn't even know that she existed

until you brought me over here yourself.

Come on, Walter.

We both know nothing happened that you didn't already know.

No, no, no. Everything made sense until you showed up.

Everything made sense

until you started thinkin' about shit.

No, no-no, no-no.

Don't, don't.

Don't!

Hey, man, why am I still here?

Leave me alone!

If you wanted me to leave you alone,

you would have done your job! But maybe,

it's not really your job, after all.

How do you know?

GREG: Come on.

Really? We're doing that?

Alright. Leave me alone!

Okay.

You know, I did a little cross-country

in high school.

Plus I'm dead!

So I don't have to, you know, breathe!

You might wanna re-think the "outrunning me" plan!

♪

Leave me alone!

♪ Ohh! ♪

♪ Ahh! Ahh, ohh! ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh ♪

♪ Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh! ♪

♪ Ahh, ohh, ahh, ohh ♪

♪ Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh, ohh-ohh, ohh, ohh-ohh ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh, ohh-ohh-ohh ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh-ohh-ohh, ohh, ohh-ohh ♪

(Panting)

(Groaning)

GREG: That worked out well for ya.

(Whispering) Get outta here.

(Panting, groaning)

You know, I forgave her. Allie.

A long time ago, actually.

That's the funny thing about bein' dead:

You don't really dwell on the things that you'd expect to.

See, the only thing that really sticks with you,

haunts you even,

is the overwhelming feeling that you were alive,

you fucking existed, and you wasted it.

Ten years is a long time to waste.

You ready?

You tell me.

♪

♪

(Wind whistling)

♪

♪

(Train rumbling)

♪

♪

♪

♪

(Insects chirping, glass shattering)

(Footsteps falling)

Walt?

Mom.

I heard...

WALTER: I sent Jim to Hell.

What?

I sent Jim to Hell right after he died,

and there's nothing I can do about it now.

Are you feeling okay?

Would you like me to make you some eggs?

I'm not hungry.

Maybe I should make up a batch,

just in case your body is so calorie-deprived you're...

starting to feed on your organs.

I'm not hungry, Mom.

Now see, that's the thing about the more advanced

stages of starvation...

I'm not fucking hungry!

I sent him to Hell. Don't you want to know why?

You're not making any sense.

We never talk about it, but you knew, didn't you?

(Fridge opening)

I think you need some sleep...

He broke your heart. That's what you need.

Walt... He broke your heart, and I sent him to Hell for it.

Walt... You used to be different. You used to be happy.

You weren't always like...

Like what? Like this!

Your father was a good man!

And her husband... that woman had a husband,

in case you didn't know that,

her husband found out, and he killed himself, Walt...

because Jim and Allie cared more about themselves

than they ever did about anybody else!

Your father made a mistake!

Now, you can't blame him for that!

Jim wasn't my father.

Will you stop it? You stop it, right now!

He wasn't perfect!

But he loved us, and you.

He loved you more than anything!

More than Allie?

That's enough!

(Sobbing)

Do you wanna know what broke my heart, Walt?

Really?

Because it wasn't just him messing around with some nurse,

right after he found out he was dying.

Yeah, that hurt. And I let him know.

But it couldn't erase a lifetime with him.

Not even close!

And it wasn't even him dying.

I had the strength to get us through losing him.

And you're right, I was different then.

I was strong, Walt!

I was strong enough to watch him die!

But it wasn't losing him that broke me!

It was losing you that killed me.

(Sobbing)

Now there's eggs on the wall, and on the floor,

if you're hungry.

♪

(Alarm blaring)

(Additional alarms beeping)

(Alarms continue beeping, blaring)

♪

(Thunder rumbling)

♪

Hell, hell.

Hell.

Hell.

Hell, hell, hell. Hell.

♪

WALTER: Theater 6 down the hall to your right. Hell.

Theater 1, down the hall to your left.

Hell.

Theater 6, hell.

Hell. Hell.

You're all going to hell!

WOMAN: What? All of you.

(Patrons chattering)

Okay.

♪

You look like shit.

Forgive me for stating the obvious, but it's so obvious

I felt personally and professionally obligated

to say something about it.

When's the last time you slept?

I don't know.

Ate?

Eggs. I think I had eggs.

When?

I don't... I don't remember.

Well, I won't ask about bathing,

'cause I think I know the answer to that one.

DR. CORMAN: How's Greg?

You know, your ghost friend.

I thought you didn't wanna talk about Greg.

I don't, but you do, right?

Not anymore.

Well, that's why we're here, right?

Your ghost problem?

I'm not crazy.

DR. CORMAN: Are you sure?

I don't...

I don't know. I... I...

You're just supposed to...

What am I supposed to do?

Just stop. Just stop.

What am I doing, Walter? You know!

You know! You... you always know what you...

(Groaning) God, you know exactly what...

I can't... I can't. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know.

I had control.

(Sighing)

You can sit there, and you can... and you can

tell me what's real, and what's crazy,

and what's total bullshit and you can say that

I'm just some kid who doesn't know how to function properly

in the world, you can say all that. Okay? Fine. Fine.

But I had control.

I woke up every day and I went outside,

and I did something.

I did something. I never... I never took a personal day,

I never called in sick, I never made excuses

for why life is unfair, I...

I... figured out my place.

I see so many people that are just...

they're just wasting so much time,

doing nothing.

And that's crazy. That's crazy.

(Scoffing)

They're...

Things can happen. Things can happen. They can be bad.

They can be worse than bad. They... they...

they can destroy you if you let them.

If you even acknowledge them, they can destroy you,

so I took control and I made rules,

and I followed them without question,

and I... and I...

I thought... I just thought... I thought that if I did that,

then nothing... could tear me apart,

the way... the way that cancer did with Jim,

that life did with my mom.

(Exhaling)

Sounds crazy? Does this sound crazy?

(Scoffing)

I know this... I know.

I know it sounds crazy, I know it sounds crazy, I...

I probably am crazy.

(Sighing) I just...

I just need you to help me. I just need you to help me.

That's what I... I just need...

I just need you to help me.

I need help.

(Laughing)

I'm sorry.

(Laughing)

You know how something really funny

just pops into your head at like the worst times?

And the more you try not to laugh,

the funnier... here I was, sitting here,

hoping for something really good,

some legit case-study crazy shit.

And instead... (Laughing)

and this is the funny part,

the joke I can't help but laughing at...

you're not crazy.

What do you mean?

You're fine. This is okay.

You're not crazy.

You are not crazy.

You just forgot to grieve.

Time's up.

Hey, Walter...

I don't mean to put you on the spot or anything,

but am I still going to hell?

I don't know.

I'll see you next week.

(Chuckling)

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

(Sobbing)

(Sobbing)

(Birds chirping)

(Classical music playing)

Mom?

Mom?

(Classical music continues)

♪

How'd you sleep?

Okay.

I hate not making you anything,

but, um, I didn't want to be late.

Late?

I, um, have an interview...

for a job.

That's great, Mom.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

Have a nice day at work, Walt.

Thank you.

♪

♪ Let me go ♪

♪ I don't want to be your hero ♪

♪ I don't want to be a big man ♪

♪ I just wanna fly with everyone else ♪

♪ And we can whisper things ♪

♪ Secrets from our American dreams ♪

♪ Baby needs some protection ♪

♪ But I'm a kid like everyone else ♪

WALTER: My name is Walter Gary Benjamin.

My friends call me "Wally."

My mom has always gone with "Walt."

And my dad, whenever I talked to him,

he'd go with "Walter."

He's dead, by the way, my dad.

But I'm not.

Oh, late again, stupid fuck. Hey, you keep this up,

you're going to be the permanent trash bitch around here.

Vince? Yeah?

Fuck you.

When you're late, I can't give Vince the shit work

and I enjoy giving Vince the shit work.

Hey, you don't have your vest on.

Hey.

Hey.

♪

♪ When the road disappears into the night ♪

♪ Follow the dark till dawn! ♪

♪ The angels of the thunder ♪

♪ Fold their wings in wonder ♪

♪ On our way to Babylon ♪

♪

♪ When the storm falls upon the open sea ♪

♪ The Beast won't be hunting long ♪

♪ So love the Saviour, hold our hearts in favour ♪

♪ On our way to Babylon ♪

♪

♪ The sound of trumpets from the hills ♪

♪ They sing the final song ♪

♪ But we never hear them, lest the people fear them ♪

♪ On our way to Babylon ♪

♪

♪ The Son of the Father turns around ♪

♪ Wondering where we've gone ♪

♪ The path that we follow ♪

♪ Brings a new tomorrow ♪

♪ On our way to Babylon ♪

♪

♪ Plans to leave and join the band ♪

♪ To voyage through fabled lands ♪

♪ And make a mark ♪

♪ Starved ♪

♪ Confusion waves his wand ♪

♪ I am warm and fed ♪

♪ And won't move on to lead and fight ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ When you live beyond the labels you have worn ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ Chained up ♪

♪ Were hardly even chained up ♪

♪ It's hardly even what I, or who I am ♪

♪ Gravestones ♪

♪ My legacy in six notes ♪

♪ With empires or two tires ♪

♪ Building a conscious glow ♪

♪ Grow, grow ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ When you live beyond the labels you have worn ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ Skyways above ♪

♪ We look like ants ♪

♪ On islands ♪

♪ Trapped till we're told that we can swim ♪

♪ I can ♪

♪ Young passing the blame ♪

♪ Sweet with fame ♪

♪ Till the best is gone ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ When you live beyond the labels you have worn ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪ When you live beyond the labels you have worn ♪

♪ All my people go ♪

♪