Original subtitles

d

["Stayin' Alive" playing]

♪ You can tell

By the way I use my walk ♪

♪ I'm a woman's man

No time to talk ♪

♪ Music loud and women warm ♪

♪ I've been kicked around

Since I was born ♪

♪ It's alright, it's okay ♪

♪ You may look the other way ♪

♪ We can try to understand ♪

♪ The New York Times'

Effect on man ♪

♪ Whether you're a brother

Or whether you're a mother ♪

♪ You're stayin' alive

Stayin' alive ♪

♪ Feel the city breaking

And everybody shaking, people ♪

♪ Stayin' alive

Stayin' alive ♪

♪ Ah, ha, ha, ha

Stayin' alive, stayin' alive ♪

♪ Ah, ha, ha, ha

Stayin' alive... ♪

Can I have some breakfast,

please?

It's three quid

for a cup of coffee

and a bacon sandwich.

And obviously,

if you wanted it heated up

it's another tenner.

Oh. Okay.

That's the orange ones, right?

[chuckles]

And it's another tenner

to park your Jeep.

Of course. Uh...

-There you go.

-[laughs]

Excuse me, love?

You do realize he's taking th--

Uh, why don't you go

to the bathroom, Mandy?

Use the big mirror, eh?

You can put lipstick

on a pig, Mand.

It's still a pig!

Yeah, yeah, fuck off.

[both laughing]

May I use your bathroom?

Of course, you can, darling!

Ten pounds.

Can I help?

Why do you work for a man who

speaks to you like that?

No idea, darling.

But it's probably

the same reason

I married the bastard.

Why do you stay

married to a man

who doesn't love you?

You're weird.

Are you foreign or summat?

You don't sound foreign.

Sort of.

Can I have some of that?

[sighs]

Just have the lot, darling.

It's cheap shit anyway.

And listen.

That fella of mine

just stole from you.

You do know that, don't you?

[sighs]

You can be a right arsehole

sometimes, Carl, you know th--

[groaning]

What he fuck?

Oi! Stop!

Is everything okay?

Not really, no!

[breathing heavily]

You forgot your bacon sarnie.

That's okay, Mandy.

I've had enough pig

for one day.

Argh! Ow...

Oh, God, that got me

right in the eye!

You know what,

if it's all right with you,

I will have that sandwich.

Just...

The pig line came to me

and I just kind of rolled

with it

but I really am

quite starving so...

Thanks so much,

that's really nice of you.

See you.

[engine sputtering]

Oh, just warming

the old girl up.

[chuckles]

Here we go.

Ooh, oh. [chuckles]

["Staying Alive"

continues playing]

♪ Life's goin' nowhere

Somebody help me ♪

♪ Somebody help me, yeah ♪

♪ I'm goin' nowhere ♪

♪ Somebody help me, yeah ♪

[waves splashing]

d

[Jay] Look,

all I'm saying is, Nick,

you've never been very good

with women, have you?

What's that got to do

with anything?

Well, you've just

been dumped, kid.

Yeah, by someone

I was with for three years.

I'm not having a go, mate.

I'm just saying that

when it comes to girls,

you've always been

a duck out of water.

-What? So,

completely fine then?

-Eh?

Ducks are amphibious, Jay,

so they're completely fine

in or out of water.

-Bullshit.

-What do you mean "bullshit"?

This is what

I'm talking about, bro.

No one cares about all of your

University bullshit.

We literally learn that

in year two, Jay.

That's not even junior school.

Okay, look. The point is,

no matter how clever

you think you are,

you're never gonna get anywhere

'cause you've got shit clothes.

-Right.

-A shit haircut.

-Okay.

-And a dick like

a burst balloon.

I've got a perfectly

average-sized penis, Jay!

[laughing]

-Okay. Do you want to

get over Ellie?

-Not really.

Do you want to prove that

you're the big man?

-Obviously not.

-Okay, then you have to speak

to the next woman

who walks in this pub.

Whoever they are.

I literally said "no"

to both those things.

-'Cause you want me to say it?

-No.

-I'm gonna.

-Don't.

-I will say it.

-Don't say it.

-I shall say it.

-Please, don't.

-I'm gonna say it.

-I'd rather you didn't.

You're my little bro and...

[sighs]

I love you!

[scats]

And I want you to have

some fun. All right?

-[clicks tongue]

-No! This is not

non-negotiable.

You mean it is non-negotiable.

What?

Don't worry.

Whoa, whoa, here we go.

Bro, bro, bro,

look, look, look.

Welcome, my friend,

to the woman of your dreams.

d

-[gasps]

-[glass breaking]

-I am so sorry.

-[men laughing]

I will get you another one

at the bar.

Ooh, ooh, sorry.

Sorry, sorry.

Ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.

-[chuckles softly]

-[barman] You all right?

-[sighs]

-[whispering] Now, now, now...

-[Kim] Can I have

a glass of cider?

-[barman] Sure.

And whatever

the angry looking man

behind me was drinking.

Thank you.

-[whispering indistinctly]

-[grunts]

Can I ask you something?

Yes! Yeah, fire away, amigo.

Not amigo. Just friend.

Not that we're friends.

Although they do say

a stranger is a friend

you haven't met yet.

We've technically met,

haven't we?

I guess it sort of depends

on definitions of like...

-Sorry, you had a question.

-Yes.

This is definitely

a shoe, right?

Yeah...

I mean just... I feel like

there's been some sort of

a fundamental mistake.

I mean, no one else seems

to be wearing them.

Right.

Sorry, it's just that I've

never really dressed up

this smart before,

and I'm feeling a bit...

Yeah. No, no, no, completely.

That's...

It's the same for the one out

of She's All That.

-Look what happened there.

-What did happen there?

Well, at the start of the film

everyone's like,

"she's not all that"

and then she pops

this dress on by the end

and then everyone's kicking

themselves,

'cause they're like,

"Ah, it turns out she was

all that all along!"

It's a classic.

You've got to watch it.

Okay.

I'll put it on my list.

f

f

[gun cocking]

-[gunshot]

-[birds cawing]

[Nicky] Wow, so this was

taken on their first date?

Yeah, that's why I wanted this

place to be my first pub.

I thought it would be nice

to come for a drink

here with Dad.

Oh, is he coming down?

Oh, sort of.

You're leaning on him.

[gasps] Oh, God!

I'm so... I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God. I... I...

You don't need to apologize

to him. He's dead.

-He can't hear you.

-[chuckles]

You want to ask me, don't you?

Ask you...

Why this is my first time

in a pub?

Or in those shoes?

Or why the only four films,

I've seen in my life

are Terminator 2,

Shawshank Redemption,

Home Alone 2 and Braveheart.

Yeah, no, I do, actually.

I'm afraid I've got some

bad news, Nicky.

Kim?

Kim?

It's your turn to disembowel

dinner when you got a sec.

Kim?

d

[Kim] Dear Mum.

I'm sorry for leaving,

but I knew that you would

try and stop me.

The thing is,

I finally feel ready

to try new things.

Work out what's out there

for me.

And make things right...

for Dad.

For all of us.

I'm not a little girl anymore.

I can look after myself, Mum.

The world is a scary place.

-[whirring]

-[gasps]

But it is just like he said

in that beautiful poem he wrote

for my 21st birthday.

I've got all my life to live.

And all my love to give.

And as long as I know

how to love.

I know I'll stay alive.

I will survive, Mum.

Love, Kim.

So just to be clear,

the end of the world

is coming tomorrow?

No. I'm saying it could

be tomorrow,

but when it does happen,

the more off grid you are

the better chance you'll have.

-So how's it gonna happen?

-Nuclear war, probably.

-Oh.

-But it could be

artificial intelligence.

Polar ice caps melting.

The next outbreak

of fish measles could

wipe us out entirely.

I'm sorry? Fish...

My mum always says

the defining feature

of humanity

is impatience.

Even for its own destruction.

Our mum always says

that one cheese toastie

is never enough,

but two is always too much.

[chuckles]

You're only making

fun of me because

the government is hiding

how bad it truly is.

If you had any idea--

No, no.

I am on your side, bro.

Don't believe their lies, man.

Like, "Yeah guys.

Shall we just

get on a spaceship

and go 'to the moon.'"

As if, man. One giant leap

for fucking bullshit, mate.

Okay. All right.

So, Kim, you said your mum

told you all this?

You think we're wrong then?

Well, no. I'm just saying.

I think even

if we are all fucked,

I'd rather take my chances

in the real world,

than hide away

in the middle of nowhere

in a cave.

It's a hut.

My mum only makes me sleep

in the cave

when the bald man comes

to fix the generator.

Yeah, that thing

breaks down a lot.

d

What does that mean?

Okay, fun thought. Let's say

it is the end of the world

and we all had

two weeks to live.

What would you do?

Easy. I'd marry my girlfriend

on, like, a roller coaster

or summat.

-[smirks]

-Nice. Nicky?

I would write a lot, paint,

seek out the majesty of nature.

Oh, really?

No. I'd eat donuts and try

to have sex with people.

That's good, because if no one

wanted to have sex with you,

then you could just

use the donuts.

That was my thinking exactly.

All right, go on, Kim,

what about you?

Um...

Sex and donuts

sounds good to me.

Well, then there we are

then, guys.

To the end of the world, baby.

d

Me and Ellie had been

together three years.

Met at Uni.

You know how it goes.

I guess it wasn't mutual then?

It was, actually.

It was a mutual decision

between her and her

new boyfriend.

[both chuckle]

-[alarm beeping]

-Oh.

Don't you have to take

your pollution pill?

What?

You are immunized, I guess.

Did your mum give you

those by any chance?

Yeah.

I can't believe this your

first trip into civilization.

Like... ever.

Well, I did the supply run

a few times.

But I guess that's just

in and out so...

And why did you

decide to leave now?

I haven't left.

I'm going back.

Just felt like now

is a good time to...

cross some things

off my list, I guess.

You and Jay are quite

different then?

Our dad died when we were kids,

so that sort of

brought us together.

I'm sorry. I feel bad now.

That's all right.

He had this

landscaping business.

And me and Jay, we've always

had this plan to...

resurrect it.

But you don't want to?

I studied English at Uni.

I've been offered this

internship in London.

It's gonna break his heart.

[typing]

So, how did your dad die?

Heart attack.

Yours?

Yeah, same.

He died when I was six.

That's kind of the reason

why me and Mum left

in the first place.

It's funny.

My dad died the exact same day

my little cousin was born.

We even passed my aunt

in the hospital.

It's like there's

a finite amount of love

allowed in the world.

Exactly.

And you've got a pour

a bit out to make room

for the next bit.

[Jay] Guys!

Oh, my God!

Come quick!

Yo, yo, I'm serious. You lot

need to come right now.

Kim, your mum was right.

It's happening.

Dude, it's fucking happening.

But it's okay,

'cause I found some

donuts in the kitchen.

[chuckling]

[Kim] Oh, my God!

Is this happening right now?

How did it start?

-Kim, there isn't any--

-Chlorinated chicken...

and climate change.

-Combined.

-Okay, one of us needs

to call the WHO.

-The who?

-Exactly.

-What?

-Oh, never mind, I need to go.

-Hold on a second.

-I just don't believe it.

You spend your

whole life thinking

the world's gonna end

in the blink of an eye

and then suddenly it is.

Okay, seriously, Kim,

don't worry, there's nothing

actually--

Nicky, this is such

a serious situation.

There's nothing actually what?

There's nothing actually to--

that we can do right now.

You're right.

-This isn't funny.

-It fucking is!

Jay!

It was just a joke

'cause of the whole

sex, doughnuts,

end of the world thing.

I didn't think she would

actually believe it.

d

Whoa.

Kim! Kim!

Get in the car.

Don't worry, Dad.

There's enough time.

[Jay] Where the hell

is she going anyway?

[Nicky] Just shut up

and follow her.

Kim!

Kim! Kim!

I can't believe

she actually fell for it.

She's probably never seen

the internet before.

Of course, she fell for it.

Why didn't she realize

on the drive over?

Because it's the middle

of the night,

even if it was true no fucker

would be awake to see it.

Stop worrying, man.

Look, whoever she's gone

in there to see

will tell her that it's a joke,

and that's that.

What's the problem?

I had the chance to say

something and I didn't...

She's gonna think

I'm a right dick.

It was just a little joke.

She's gonna think

it's hilarious.

-Is she though?

-Look, even if she doesn't,

what's the worst

that can happen?

[whistles]

d

Trust me.

Everything's gonna be fine.

[sighs]

Yeah, I guess you're right.

[sighs]

Ian!

Was that you playing

silly bollocks downstairs?

Ian!

Ian!

Hello, Jimmy.

Remember me?

Um...

d

♪ You're dead, already

Dead, dead, already-ready ♪

♪ Dead, already

Dead, dead, already-ready ♪

♪ Dead, already

Dead, dead, already-ready ♪

♪ Dead, already, dead ♪

♪ Dead ♪

♪ Cheer up, London ♪

Thank you, good night,

see ya!

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0