Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,699 --> 00:00:12,800
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
2
00:00:12,902 --> 00:00:16,837
- Young fella, get the door please.
- Uh, sure.
3
00:00:16,939 --> 00:00:18,339
[mumbling]
4
00:00:18,441 --> 00:00:20,508
- Keep it open, pal.
- Thanks, chief.
5
00:00:20,610 --> 00:00:21,775
[grunts] No problem.
6
00:00:21,878 --> 00:00:22,832
Single file, everyone.
7
00:00:22,833 --> 00:00:24,778
- Oh, what the f...
- Stay together. Where's your buddy?
8
00:00:24,881 --> 00:00:27,114
- Hurry up, children, let's go!
- Ladder coming through.
9
00:00:27,216 --> 00:00:29,383
Motherf...
10
00:00:29,485 --> 00:00:31,318
Could you please
hold the door, mister?
11
00:00:31,420 --> 00:00:33,821
No, I can't hold the door
12
00:00:33,923 --> 00:00:39,293
because I am not a [bleep] doorman!
13
00:00:39,395 --> 00:00:42,830
[groans]
Asshole.
14
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:45,735
[techno music]
15
00:00:49,422 --> 00:00:50,855
[phone ringing]
16
00:00:50,957 --> 00:00:52,056
Hello, TripTank.
17
00:00:52,158 --> 00:00:53,891
You guys are giving
me all kinds of problems.
18
00:00:53,993 --> 00:00:55,960
Well, sorry about that.
What can I do to help?
19
00:00:56,062 --> 00:00:58,029
All I want to do
is grope my girlfriend
20
00:00:58,131 --> 00:00:59,530
at the duck pond, and you ruined it.
21
00:00:59,632 --> 00:01:01,966
Um, I don't see how we could've...
Oh, wait, maybe Chaz.
22
00:01:02,068 --> 00:01:03,134
The woman's the love of my life.
23
00:01:03,236 --> 00:01:05,570
She stole my heart.
I didn't ask for her.
24
00:01:05,672 --> 00:01:07,772
I didn't ask to fall in
love with her, but I did.
25
00:01:07,874 --> 00:01:11,008
And she wants to stay here
and watch this damn "TripTank" thing.
26
00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:13,244
[whispers] Psst, Steve, hey, Steve.
27
00:01:13,346 --> 00:01:16,447
- Not now, Roy, jeez.
- She's glued to this TV.
28
00:01:16,549 --> 00:01:19,650
- I don't know what you guys are showing.
- Well, we show a wide range
29
00:01:19,752 --> 00:01:22,053
of fast-paced,
hard-hitting comedy shorts
30
00:01:22,155 --> 00:01:24,922
presented in a variety of
mind-bending animation styles.
31
00:01:25,024 --> 00:01:27,225
- Come on, man!
- Roy, I'm on the phone.
32
00:01:27,327 --> 00:01:30,528
- I need you, best friend brother.
- Ugh. Hold, please.
33
00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:33,764
Look, I can't just leave the desk.
I have an important job.
34
00:01:33,866 --> 00:01:35,700
[laughs]
That's a good one, buddy.
35
00:01:35,802 --> 00:01:38,669
But seriously, I need you to
come with me to the supply closet.
36
00:01:38,771 --> 00:01:41,606
I'd go by myself, but that
place is crawling with ghosts.
37
00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:43,741
Really?
With the ghost again, Roy?
38
00:01:43,843 --> 00:01:45,810
It's a goddamn swirling bait ball
39
00:01:45,912 --> 00:01:49,447
- of bloodthirsty undead in there, man.
- Ugh, fine!
40
00:01:49,549 --> 00:01:51,082
He'll crawl around
the air ducts all day,
41
00:01:51,184 --> 00:01:52,917
but he's too scared to go
in the closet by himself.
42
00:01:53,019 --> 00:01:54,952
Man, there ain't no
ghosts in the air ducts.
43
00:01:55,054 --> 00:01:56,687
All the Draculas chase them away.
44
00:01:56,789 --> 00:01:59,724
[suspenseful music]
45
00:02:03,963 --> 00:02:06,197
[gunshot]
[horse neighs]
46
00:02:06,299 --> 00:02:08,366
[heavy metal music]
47
00:02:08,468 --> 00:02:11,769
Adios, caballo.
I'm in Mexico.
48
00:02:11,871 --> 00:02:14,769
[techno music]
49
00:02:19,712 --> 00:02:20,678
- So then...
- Uh-huh.
50
00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:22,713
He brought out this
amazing wedding ring
51
00:02:22,815 --> 00:02:24,248
and asked her to marry him.
[gasps]
52
00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:27,018
- Oh, it's about time, hmm?
- Right, honey?
53
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,288
Now you just rest here and let
my magic set for about 20 minutes,
54
00:02:30,390 --> 00:02:31,756
and let me get you some magazines, girl.
55
00:02:31,858 --> 00:02:34,492
Oh, no, no, no. I always have
something to read in my purse.
56
00:02:34,594 --> 00:02:35,893
Well, hold on now,
57
00:02:35,995 --> 00:02:38,529
'cause I think your
belongings are at my station.
58
00:02:38,631 --> 00:02:41,465
Oh, sweet Jesus!
Not in here.
59
00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:43,034
[laughs] Here we go.
60
00:02:43,136 --> 00:02:44,035
[all gasp]
61
00:02:44,137 --> 00:02:46,570
- Did you just...
- Upgrade to 5G?
62
00:02:46,673 --> 00:02:48,673
Oh, you better believe it.
Now it's totally worth it.
63
00:02:48,775 --> 00:02:49,940
[cash register dings]
64
00:02:50,043 --> 00:02:52,476
? Three aliens
came from the sky ?
65
00:02:52,578 --> 00:02:54,011
? The galactic council sent them ?
66
00:02:54,113 --> 00:02:55,479
All: And here's the reason why
67
00:02:55,581 --> 00:02:57,081
? Their mission is to study ?
68
00:02:57,183 --> 00:02:59,817
? Earth's most average guy ?
69
00:02:59,919 --> 00:03:01,752
All: See if humans
are worth saving
70
00:03:01,854 --> 00:03:03,788
? Or if everyone has to die ?
71
00:03:05,024 --> 00:03:07,124
Wait, what?
72
00:03:07,226 --> 00:03:08,359
[sighs]
73
00:03:08,601 --> 00:03:09,901
[lively music on TV] Hmm?
74
00:03:10,003 --> 00:03:11,502
Come to Jamaica.
75
00:03:11,604 --> 00:03:16,440
Surround yourself with
just beautiful creatures.
76
00:03:16,543 --> 00:03:18,876
[insects buzzing]
77
00:03:18,978 --> 00:03:22,513
Yeah, mon. Spend your
days with beautiful people.
78
00:03:22,615 --> 00:03:24,215
- Direct hit.
- Ah, sick!
79
00:03:24,317 --> 00:03:25,616
Ugh.
80
00:03:25,718 --> 00:03:26,951
And when you're done snorkeling,
81
00:03:27,053 --> 00:03:30,421
you can go hike through
an old growth forest.
82
00:03:30,523 --> 00:03:31,989
- When you're done mopping...
- Huh?
83
00:03:32,091 --> 00:03:35,560
You can clean out these old,
weird growths out of the toilet.
84
00:03:35,662 --> 00:03:36,661
[groans]
85
00:03:36,763 --> 00:03:37,728
[dogs barking]
86
00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:39,130
[groans]
87
00:03:39,232 --> 00:03:41,799
I wish there's just some
way to get away from it all
88
00:03:41,901 --> 00:03:44,569
but still be back
here tomorrow for work.
89
00:03:44,671 --> 00:03:47,305
I mean, I guess I could just get high.
90
00:03:47,407 --> 00:03:49,407
Wait a second. I got an idea!
91
00:03:49,509 --> 00:03:51,709
[computer beeping]
92
00:03:51,811 --> 00:03:53,177
Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
93
00:03:53,279 --> 00:03:55,880
Since our planet is
so close to a black hole,
94
00:03:55,982 --> 00:03:59,650
a whole week of vacation there
is only two seconds back on Earth.
95
00:03:59,752 --> 00:04:02,687
[laughs]
Why haven't we done this yet?
96
00:04:04,791 --> 00:04:06,357
Wow.
[tranquil music]
97
00:04:06,459 --> 00:04:09,126
Oh, my God!
It's Jeff, the human!
98
00:04:09,229 --> 00:04:10,194
[all scream]
99
00:04:10,296 --> 00:04:11,429
You guys know who I am?
100
00:04:11,531 --> 00:04:12,930
I watch your feed,
like, every single night.
101
00:04:13,032 --> 00:04:16,033
- Your boss is such a dick.
- [laughs] Oh, well...
102
00:04:16,135 --> 00:04:19,070
- Well, thank you very much.
- Can we take a pictoscan?
103
00:04:19,172 --> 00:04:21,973
Sure, okay!
Duck face!
104
00:04:22,075 --> 00:04:25,209
[techno music playing]
105
00:04:25,311 --> 00:04:29,614
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi.
Yes!
106
00:04:29,716 --> 00:04:31,716
All: Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!
107
00:04:31,818 --> 00:04:34,386
[moaning]
108
00:04:35,488 --> 00:04:38,055
Wow.
109
00:04:38,157 --> 00:04:40,691
[buzzer]
I don't know. [laughs]
110
00:04:40,793 --> 00:04:42,260
[all moaning]
111
00:04:42,362 --> 00:04:45,896
Ah.
112
00:04:45,999 --> 00:04:48,566
Yeah!
113
00:04:48,668 --> 00:04:51,402
[reggae music]
114
00:04:51,504 --> 00:04:56,073
Oh! [laughs]
This is exactly what I needed.
115
00:04:56,175 --> 00:04:57,808
Hey, Jeff, that
girl's looking at you.
116
00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,977
Is, uh... is that the one you
hooked up with last night?
117
00:05:00,079 --> 00:05:01,312
[groaning]
118
00:05:01,414 --> 00:05:02,413
[laughs]
Come on, guys.
119
00:05:02,515 --> 00:05:04,548
The chick last night was a perfect ten.
120
00:05:04,651 --> 00:05:07,585
She had a bangin'
body, short blonde hair,
121
00:05:07,687 --> 00:05:10,855
and she did this move
with her tongue piercing...
122
00:05:10,957 --> 00:05:12,990
- Oh, my God. [laughs]
- Jeff!
123
00:05:13,092 --> 00:05:15,960
- Oh!
- Um, we need to talk.
124
00:05:16,062 --> 00:05:18,763
- Dude, did you use a condom?
- Of course.
125
00:05:18,865 --> 00:05:20,331
Okay, good, good, good.
126
00:05:20,433 --> 00:05:24,935
- A space condom, right?
- What the hell is that? [screams]
127
00:05:25,038 --> 00:05:26,237
Oh, my God!
128
00:05:26,339 --> 00:05:28,773
No, I can't handle this
kind of responsibility!
129
00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:30,831
[screams]
130
00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:31,809
[gasps]
131
00:05:31,911 --> 00:05:35,880
[all crying] You're going to help me
take care of our children, right, Jeff?
132
00:05:35,982 --> 00:05:39,817
- Uh...
- Not before he takes care of our children!
133
00:05:39,919 --> 00:05:42,920
- Oh, my God!
- Welcome to the family, son.
134
00:05:43,022 --> 00:05:45,623
- Huh?
- Now, you listen to me, you little turd.
135
00:05:45,725 --> 00:05:46,590
[gasps]
136
00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:47,925
You're gonna come work for me
137
00:05:48,027 --> 00:05:49,660
until you've put these
kids through college.
138
00:05:49,762 --> 00:05:51,862
- College?
- Or I'm gonna zap
139
00:05:51,964 --> 00:05:54,565
that irresponsible,
raw-dogging dick of yours
140
00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:56,133
right off your body.
141
00:05:56,235 --> 00:06:00,304
[laughs] Good news!
He's gonna join the family business.
142
00:06:00,406 --> 00:06:03,107
[chuckles]
What's the family business?
143
00:06:03,209 --> 00:06:04,709
All: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
144
00:06:04,811 --> 00:06:07,011
[grunting]
145
00:06:07,113 --> 00:06:09,280
Psst, hey, quick question.
146
00:06:09,382 --> 00:06:12,616
Um, what age do most people
go to college on this planet?
147
00:06:12,719 --> 00:06:14,485
[screams]
No talking!
148
00:06:14,587 --> 00:06:15,586
All: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
[sighs]
149
00:06:15,688 --> 00:06:17,922
- Get your feet off of that, okay?
- All right, all right!
150
00:06:18,024 --> 00:06:19,623
God damn it, Jeff!
We already talked about this!
151
00:06:19,726 --> 00:06:21,859
- Get those feet off of that table!
- Stop it! Stop yelling at me!
152
00:06:21,961 --> 00:06:23,694
All: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
[sighs]
153
00:06:23,796 --> 00:06:26,097
[screams]
No sighing!
154
00:06:26,199 --> 00:06:28,199
All: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
155
00:06:28,301 --> 00:06:32,737
- [quivers, then screams] No quivering!
- No excessive whipping!
156
00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:36,040
[classical music playing]
[applause]
157
00:06:36,142 --> 00:06:40,444
Yes!
Hey, let's get the [bleep] out of here.
158
00:06:40,546 --> 00:06:42,642
[computer beeping]
159
00:06:43,983 --> 00:06:45,282
[groaning]
[door opens]
160
00:06:45,385 --> 00:06:48,319
Oh, there you are, Jeff.
We got a lot of work to do.
161
00:06:48,421 --> 00:06:52,256
The freezer malfunctioned last night.
There's black mold everywhere...
162
00:06:52,358 --> 00:06:56,127
Jesus Christ!
What happened to you?
163
00:06:56,229 --> 00:06:59,497
I was, uh, on vacation.
164
00:06:59,599 --> 00:07:02,366
[techno music]
165
00:07:04,321 --> 00:07:07,856
Is it true that elephants
have a really good memory?
166
00:07:07,958 --> 00:07:09,057
That's right!
167
00:07:09,159 --> 00:07:12,560
Then, what did you do on
the fifth of July in 1977?
168
00:07:12,662 --> 00:07:15,196
I, uh...
169
00:07:15,298 --> 00:07:18,299
Uh, I can't recall that day.
170
00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:20,927
[techno music]
171
00:07:24,107 --> 00:07:25,707
[suspenseful music]
172
00:07:26,644 --> 00:07:29,278
[flute playing]
173
00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:33,996
[snake hissing]
[silenced gunshot]
174
00:07:34,292 --> 00:07:36,258
[heavy metal music]
175
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,662
These clarinet lessons
are really paying off.
176
00:07:39,764 --> 00:07:42,164
Okay, grab whatever you
need and make it quick.
177
00:07:42,266 --> 00:07:44,199
The cordless phone doesn't work
in here for some strange reason.
178
00:07:44,302 --> 00:07:47,036
Duh, it's all that pent-up,
psycho kinetic energy
179
00:07:47,138 --> 00:07:49,204
jacking up the physical world, man.
180
00:07:49,307 --> 00:07:51,507
Damn, Skippy, we're out of toner.
181
00:07:51,609 --> 00:07:53,909
- What do you need toner for?
- Oh, I got a hot date, man.
182
00:07:54,011 --> 00:07:56,912
I got to do a little hand to hand,
turn and burn on the streets, man,
183
00:07:57,014 --> 00:07:59,448
liquefy some assets,
get some cash in pocket.
184
00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:00,916
Well, the delivery guy
is coming by later today
185
00:08:01,018 --> 00:08:02,151
with a whole pallet of toner.
186
00:08:02,253 --> 00:08:03,619
Hello... hello... hello... hello.
Hello.
187
00:08:03,721 --> 00:08:05,421
Hello, Roy.
[screams]
188
00:08:05,523 --> 00:08:07,790
Oh, man, it's the ghoul!
I'm out of here!
189
00:08:07,892 --> 00:08:09,825
Roy! Damn it.
You locked me in!
190
00:08:09,927 --> 00:08:10,793
Hell... Hell...
Hello.
191
00:08:10,895 --> 00:08:11,794
Hello, Steve.
192
00:08:11,896 --> 00:08:13,062
What? Who's there?
193
00:08:13,164 --> 00:08:14,730
Hell... hell... hell... hello.
TripTank.
194
00:08:14,832 --> 00:08:16,131
Can I help... can I help you?
195
00:08:16,233 --> 00:08:18,000
Can I kill you?
196
00:08:18,102 --> 00:08:19,735
[screams]
197
00:08:19,837 --> 00:08:22,538
- [glass breaks] Shit!
- Is somebody there?
198
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,807
God, sorry. That's my bad.
199
00:08:24,909 --> 00:08:26,308
I will... I'll pay for that.
200
00:08:26,410 --> 00:08:31,113
I have one, two, three...
$6 and an iTunes gift card.
201
00:08:31,215 --> 00:08:34,950
- Do you want an iTunes gift card?
- No. Who are you?
202
00:08:35,052 --> 00:08:38,754
- I'm your fairy godmother.
- What? Like in the stories?
203
00:08:38,856 --> 00:08:42,324
Uh-huh, and I came here to
get you ready for the ball.
204
00:08:42,426 --> 00:08:44,393
[babbles]
205
00:08:44,495 --> 00:08:45,527
Ta-da!
206
00:08:45,630 --> 00:08:48,305
Did you just turn my
computer into a pumpkin?!
207
00:08:48,332 --> 00:08:49,398
[laughs]
208
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:53,335
You said "pupkin."
That's not a word.
209
00:08:53,437 --> 00:08:56,205
- Pumpkin is a word.
- Wait, wait. How am I saying it?
210
00:08:56,307 --> 00:08:59,141
Pup, pump, pup, pumpin, punkpin?
211
00:08:59,243 --> 00:09:01,910
Pumpkin. Can you
turn it back, please?
212
00:09:02,013 --> 00:09:04,647
But what are you gonna
ride to the ball, sweetheart?
213
00:09:04,749 --> 00:09:07,249
Okay, A:
I don't think I can ride that
214
00:09:07,351 --> 00:09:10,853
because it is a pumpkin, and,
B: I'm not going to a ball.
215
00:09:10,955 --> 00:09:15,891
- Ugh. Well, then where are you going?
- To school. In four hours.
216
00:09:15,993 --> 00:09:18,360
Then we got lots of time.
217
00:09:18,462 --> 00:09:20,162
- You want to do some shots?
- No.
218
00:09:20,264 --> 00:09:22,331
I mean, we could just drink
straight-up cough syrup.
219
00:09:22,433 --> 00:09:23,732
I mean, that's what you kids do, right?
220
00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:26,969
- No!
- Okay, okay, okay. Look, here.
221
00:09:27,071 --> 00:09:28,937
My friend Doug is supposed to call me,
222
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,573
but he hasn't called me yet,
so I don't want to go to bed.
223
00:09:31,676 --> 00:09:34,576
- I'm... sorry?
- Can you just text him for me
224
00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:37,279
from your phone and ask him where he is?
225
00:09:37,381 --> 00:09:38,714
I don't have a phone!
226
00:09:38,816 --> 00:09:42,217
And if I did, I wouldn't be
texting adult men with it!
227
00:09:42,319 --> 00:09:44,653
Doug is not an adult.
He's only 27.
228
00:09:44,755 --> 00:09:46,755
Can you please just
change my computer back?
229
00:09:46,857 --> 00:09:47,723
You're no fun.
230
00:09:47,825 --> 00:09:50,993
[babbles]
231
00:09:51,095 --> 00:09:51,994
Ta-da!
232
00:09:52,096 --> 00:09:54,630
[bleep].
What is wrong with this thing?
233
00:09:54,732 --> 00:09:58,200
- I think you should go.
- No, no, I'm gonna fix this
234
00:09:58,302 --> 00:10:00,569
because I am your
fairy [bleep] godmother
235
00:10:00,671 --> 00:10:01,704
and I'm gonna do it.
236
00:10:01,806 --> 00:10:04,239
Abracadabra and...
237
00:10:04,341 --> 00:10:07,376
Yes!
I turned a popkin into a pumpkin.
238
00:10:07,478 --> 00:10:09,511
- Dad!
- Wait, shh.
239
00:10:09,613 --> 00:10:10,679
Dad!
240
00:10:10,781 --> 00:10:13,482
Shh, shh. Wait, wait.
How old is your dad?
241
00:10:13,584 --> 00:10:17,820
- Ugh. I don't know, in his 40s?
- Oh, well, that's too old.
242
00:10:17,922 --> 00:10:21,256
27 is my limit. I have a
boyfriend, so I'm gonna go.
243
00:10:21,358 --> 00:10:23,559
- Toodle... [crashes]
- Dad!
244
00:10:23,661 --> 00:10:24,893
Wait, wait, wait, but first,
245
00:10:24,995 --> 00:10:27,663
we got to make that dress
real pretty for the ball.
246
00:10:27,765 --> 00:10:29,765
Sha-slam!
247
00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:32,668
[groaning]
248
00:10:32,770 --> 00:10:35,838
Oh. Whoopsie!
249
00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:38,307
[vomits, phone ringing]
250
00:10:38,409 --> 00:10:39,608
[phone beeps]
Hello.
251
00:10:39,710 --> 00:10:42,044
Yo, where are you?
We're still raging.
252
00:10:42,146 --> 00:10:45,714
Damn! I will be right
there, Doug! Got me?
253
00:10:45,816 --> 00:10:48,684
I just had to help this little
girl get ready for the ball.
254
00:10:48,786 --> 00:10:51,053
You're welcome.
255
00:10:51,155 --> 00:10:53,021
[window opens]
256
00:10:53,124 --> 00:10:54,723
Oh. [screams]
257
00:10:54,825 --> 00:10:56,191
[laughs]
258
00:10:56,293 --> 00:10:59,194
Dad!
259
00:10:59,296 --> 00:11:02,698
What is it, pumpkin?
Pumpkin!
260
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,734
[techno music]
261
00:11:08,806 --> 00:11:11,306
Oh, no. Karen, honey,
we've... we've got it.
262
00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:13,542
- Oh, don't be silly, Steve!
- So please don't...
263
00:11:13,644 --> 00:11:15,310
I've got my card
right here in my purse.
264
00:11:15,412 --> 00:11:16,311
- Please, not again!
- No, no, no, no, no!
265
00:11:16,413 --> 00:11:17,312
[grunting]
266
00:11:17,414 --> 00:11:20,048
- Oh!
- Oh, God!
267
00:11:20,151 --> 00:11:21,917
Gosh, it's somewhere in here.
Oh, ah!
268
00:11:22,019 --> 00:11:24,920
There we go. [laughs]
269
00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:26,288
What? What?
270
00:11:26,390 --> 00:11:29,858
Oh, you need to check my
license, don't you, hon? Hold on.
271
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:30,926
[cash register dings]
272
00:11:31,028 --> 00:11:33,896
Roy, let me out!
There's something in here with me!
273
00:11:33,998 --> 00:11:36,098
Ah, shit. The door's locked.
274
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,833
I'll run and get the spare key.
275
00:11:37,935 --> 00:11:40,369
It gets so... so... so...
so lonely in here.
276
00:11:40,471 --> 00:11:42,104
How... How...
How about a game, Steve?
277
00:11:42,206 --> 00:11:43,305
I like games.
278
00:11:43,407 --> 00:11:45,374
Cookies.
[screams]
279
00:11:45,516 --> 00:11:47,416
Oh, no, Roy, you've
done it this time.
280
00:11:47,518 --> 00:11:50,119
Oh, you got your BFB
murdered by a ghost.
281
00:11:50,221 --> 00:11:53,122
Okay, got to stay focused.
Get the key. Save Steve.
282
00:11:53,224 --> 00:11:56,291
Get the key. Save Steve.
Oh, here we go.
283
00:11:56,394 --> 00:11:57,826
Now to go sa...
[phone ringing]
284
00:11:57,928 --> 00:11:59,628
Hello. TripTank.
You got Roy.
285
00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:02,998
I've been watching your TV show,
and I would like a job.
286
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:05,267
My friend said I do
a lot of funny voices,
287
00:12:05,369 --> 00:12:07,036
so I'd like to try a few for you.
288
00:12:07,138 --> 00:12:08,837
Sounds good, man.
Let's hear them.
289
00:12:08,939 --> 00:12:11,240
Look at me!
I'm a talking poop!
290
00:12:11,342 --> 00:12:15,210
I smell like shit, and I'm ready
to have a magical adventure!
291
00:12:15,312 --> 00:12:16,345
Hell yeah.
292
00:12:16,447 --> 00:12:19,515
I just saw my sister naked,
and now I have to kill myself.
293
00:12:19,617 --> 00:12:22,618
- Yeah, good.
- I'm the Greek god Poseidon,
294
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,988
and my nipples look
like Granny Smith apples.
295
00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:28,424
- That's a great one.
- Hey, I'm a cop.
296
00:12:28,526 --> 00:12:31,660
Put your hands in the air, and
pull your pants to the ground.
297
00:12:31,762 --> 00:12:33,562
- Arresting!
- I like that one too.
298
00:12:33,664 --> 00:12:36,265
So, uh, think about
it and get back to me?
299
00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:38,701
And I'll be hiding out in the
back seat of your car till then.
300
00:12:38,803 --> 00:12:39,802
Okay, thanks, bye.
301
00:12:39,904 --> 00:12:42,183
[techno music]
302
00:12:48,444 --> 00:12:49,343
[thunder]
303
00:12:49,445 --> 00:12:52,346
Help! Roy!
Where are you?
304
00:12:52,448 --> 00:12:54,715
Roy...Roy... Roy's not coming back.
305
00:12:54,818 --> 00:12:57,385
No one is... is ever coming back.
306
00:12:57,487 --> 00:13:00,254
Oh, my God.
I can't die a virgin.
307
00:13:00,356 --> 00:13:01,422
[whimpering]
308
00:13:01,524 --> 00:13:03,758
Why did you...
did you leave me in here...
309
00:13:03,860 --> 00:13:06,494
leave me in here, Steve?
Cookies.
310
00:13:06,596 --> 00:13:07,662
We just didn't leave you in here!
311
00:13:07,764 --> 00:13:09,130
We thought you were out of power!
312
00:13:09,232 --> 00:13:12,333
Now I've got all the power!
313
00:13:12,435 --> 00:13:14,735
[laughter]
314
00:13:14,838 --> 00:13:18,072
[laser zaps]
315
00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:21,042
[techno music]
316
00:13:23,346 --> 00:13:26,214
[triumphant music]
317
00:13:31,254 --> 00:13:33,454
[drumroll]
318
00:13:33,556 --> 00:13:37,058
[ding]
Citizens of Egg Man Land!
319
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,695
I sold your souls to buy a new Jet Ski.
320
00:13:40,797 --> 00:13:43,831
[crowd cheers]
And you didn't even notice!
321
00:13:43,933 --> 00:13:46,267
[all cheering]
322
00:13:46,369 --> 00:13:48,970
Today, I feel your pain.
323
00:13:49,072 --> 00:13:52,139
I know you work hard, long hours
324
00:13:52,242 --> 00:13:54,609
in terrible, horrible conditions.
325
00:13:54,711 --> 00:13:57,378
You don't see your
families for weeks on end.
326
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,781
And then, oh, your money
goes straight to me!
327
00:14:00,884 --> 00:14:03,618
I bet you're all
wondering how I spend it.
328
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,686
[all cheer]
329
00:14:05,788 --> 00:14:10,892
Do you really want to know how
I spend these sacks of cash?
330
00:14:10,994 --> 00:14:14,362
All: Gusto rules! Gusto rules!
331
00:14:14,464 --> 00:14:17,665
I don't.
332
00:14:17,767 --> 00:14:19,333
[crowd cheers]
333
00:14:19,435 --> 00:14:20,334
? Gusto ?
334
00:14:20,436 --> 00:14:23,004
? Gusto, Gusto ?
335
00:14:23,106 --> 00:14:24,038
[gunshot]
336
00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:27,041
[rock music]
337
00:14:33,249 --> 00:14:36,717
- Ugh. I hate surprises, Karl.
- Yeah, and I hate condors.
338
00:14:36,819 --> 00:14:38,853
But those assholes are protected,
so what are you gonna do?
339
00:14:38,955 --> 00:14:40,154
Besides, it's your birthday.
340
00:14:40,256 --> 00:14:41,756
Man up, stop being
a little bitch, and...
341
00:14:41,858 --> 00:14:44,358
- surprise!
- Welcome to Karma Spa,
342
00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:47,094
where you get the treatment you deserve.
343
00:14:47,196 --> 00:14:48,863
Ah, homo hairygatos.
344
00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:51,065
I believe you have a
reservation for one Anau Jiram
345
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,199
and his roommate.
346
00:14:52,302 --> 00:14:54,535
Two for one massage package.
Good deal.
347
00:14:54,637 --> 00:14:57,138
Oh, of course.
Happy birthday, me.
348
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,407
- Karl gets a massage.
- You pay up now!
349
00:14:59,509 --> 00:15:01,842
Hey, don't worry, I'll get you back.
Right now, I got to pre-lube.
350
00:15:01,945 --> 00:15:03,945
There's a good chance
you might see a glory hole.
351
00:15:04,047 --> 00:15:05,780
That's not for your eye. Okay.
352
00:15:05,882 --> 00:15:08,115
Behind door number one is Dump.
[grunts]
353
00:15:08,217 --> 00:15:10,151
Door number two is Ling.
[giggles]
354
00:15:10,253 --> 00:15:12,320
- You pick one!
- Ling.
355
00:15:12,422 --> 00:15:15,389
Oh, no way, a TV in the floor!
[giggles]
356
00:15:15,491 --> 00:15:17,658
[laughs] Ow, ow, ow.
357
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:18,859
[giggles]
358
00:15:18,962 --> 00:15:19,994
Watch, please.
359
00:15:20,096 --> 00:15:22,663
- Hey, that's me!
- Mine.
360
00:15:22,765 --> 00:15:26,534
Uh-oh. You take biggest
piece of cake for piggy self.
361
00:15:26,636 --> 00:15:28,235
- Bad pig.
- Wait, what the hell is...
362
00:15:28,338 --> 00:15:31,038
[screams]
363
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:32,673
Treatment you deserve!
Next!
364
00:15:32,775 --> 00:15:34,041
[coughs]
365
00:15:34,143 --> 00:15:35,743
Oops, you tripped.
366
00:15:35,845 --> 00:15:37,979
- You like rough ball play?
- No, no, no, no!
367
00:15:38,081 --> 00:15:39,814
Okay, hotshot, we
play rough with ball!
368
00:15:39,916 --> 00:15:41,482
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Now!
369
00:15:41,584 --> 00:15:43,317
[wailing]
Son of a bitch!
370
00:15:43,419 --> 00:15:44,852
Touchdown!
Treatment you deserve!
371
00:15:44,954 --> 00:15:46,153
Denise?
372
00:15:46,255 --> 00:15:48,456
I respect that you're
saving yourself, Denise,
373
00:15:48,558 --> 00:15:50,358
but four out of five doctors
374
00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:52,793
say it's totally cool
if I put it in your butt.
375
00:15:52,895 --> 00:15:54,328
Show yourself, she-devil!
376
00:15:54,430 --> 00:15:56,430
? Treatment you deserve ?
377
00:15:56,532 --> 00:15:57,598
Oh, no. Oh, no.
378
00:15:57,700 --> 00:15:59,166
[squish]
[screams]
379
00:15:59,268 --> 00:16:03,337
Oh, my God!
I can't believe I paid for this.
380
00:16:03,439 --> 00:16:05,206
Behind door number one is Dump.
381
00:16:05,308 --> 00:16:06,607
Door number two is Ling.
382
00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:07,775
- You pick one.
- Ling.
383
00:16:07,877 --> 00:16:10,278
- What? No!
- So you're friend give
384
00:16:10,279 --> 00:16:12,680
you birthday surprise,
and you give him fatty?
385
00:16:12,782 --> 00:16:14,448
No! I mean yes.
I don't know.
386
00:16:14,550 --> 00:16:16,851
Karl sucks.
He made me pay on my birthday!
387
00:16:16,953 --> 00:16:18,519
He deserves the fatty!
388
00:16:18,621 --> 00:16:20,221
[footsteps]
Who you call fatty?
389
00:16:20,323 --> 00:16:22,456
Hey, you don't know.
She emotional eater.
390
00:16:22,558 --> 00:16:25,926
Food is my imaginary
friend that I eat.
391
00:16:26,029 --> 00:16:28,162
- What? No!
- Yeah! Swamp boat!
392
00:16:28,264 --> 00:16:31,465
Gun it, round-eye!
[screams]
393
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:32,867
[coughs and spits]
394
00:16:32,969 --> 00:16:36,604
I can taste it in my nose!
I've been napalmed.
395
00:16:36,706 --> 00:16:40,107
Karl, where are you?
[moaning]
396
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,243
Hold on, Karl!
I'll save you!
397
00:16:42,345 --> 00:16:45,413
- Oh, that's nice, Su.
- Why the [bleep] aren't you getting
398
00:16:45,515 --> 00:16:46,647
the karmic shit kicked out of you?
399
00:16:46,749 --> 00:16:49,316
I slipped the old dude
20 bucks for a happy ending.
400
00:16:49,419 --> 00:16:51,218
Oh, which reminds me,
I owe you 20 bucks.
401
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,920
[screams]
402
00:16:53,022 --> 00:16:54,789
One more swamp boat!
403
00:16:54,891 --> 00:16:58,092
- It's my birthday.
- Oh, yeah.
404
00:16:58,194 --> 00:16:59,126
[panting]
405
00:16:59,228 --> 00:17:00,895
Happy birthday from Karma Spa.
406
00:17:00,997 --> 00:17:03,730
- Happy birthday, buddy.
- [bleep] you, Karl.
407
00:17:03,765 --> 00:17:05,107
Sayonara, bitches.
408
00:17:05,142 --> 00:17:07,768
[techno music]
409
00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:10,438
[screaming]
410
00:17:10,540 --> 00:17:12,840
[both scream and laugh]
411
00:17:12,942 --> 00:17:15,843
Oh, my God.
This is the best.
412
00:17:15,945 --> 00:17:19,380
Oh, it could not get any better,
unless we had some refreshments.
413
00:17:19,482 --> 00:17:22,349
Guess who snuck them in.
[giggles]
414
00:17:22,452 --> 00:17:25,820
Oh, okay, um...
[grunting]
415
00:17:26,989 --> 00:17:29,523
Ah! [sighs]
[gulping]
416
00:17:29,625 --> 00:17:31,325
Oh, my God. Jesus, Karen!
417
00:17:31,427 --> 00:17:33,727
Oh, I'm sorry.
How rude of me.
418
00:17:33,830 --> 00:17:34,762
You guys want some?
419
00:17:34,864 --> 00:17:36,630
[all scream]
420
00:17:36,732 --> 00:17:37,998
[cash register dings]
421
00:17:38,101 --> 00:17:41,001
[techno music playing]
422
00:17:42,371 --> 00:17:44,772
- Can I get you to sign here?
- Sure, man. No problem.
423
00:17:44,874 --> 00:17:46,607
Hey, uh, where's the other guy?
424
00:17:46,709 --> 00:17:48,542
Other guy? What the
hell are you talking about?
425
00:17:48,644 --> 00:17:49,810
You know, the other guy
426
00:17:49,912 --> 00:17:51,879
with the stupid shirts,
"Phantom of the Opera" face,
427
00:17:51,981 --> 00:17:53,981
and the body like a
sack of mashed potatoes.
428
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:57,051
- Oh, shit, Steve!
- Yeah, Steve.
429
00:17:57,153 --> 00:18:01,322
What happened to that asshole?
Yo, chief, slow down!
430
00:18:01,424 --> 00:18:02,890
You don't want to leave
all this toner here, man.
431
00:18:02,992 --> 00:18:04,458
This shit's expensive.
432
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,461
[techno music]
433
00:18:10,768 --> 00:18:13,635
[techno music]
434
00:18:17,107 --> 00:18:20,042
[suspenseful music]
435
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:32,510
[heavy metal music]
436
00:18:34,164 --> 00:18:36,699
That's not a knife.
This is a knife.
437
00:18:36,976 --> 00:18:42,976
...
438
00:18:43,026 --> 00:18:47,576
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
32538
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.