All language subtitles for TripTank s02e17 Deuce Ex Machina.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,699 --> 00:00:12,800 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 2 00:00:12,902 --> 00:00:16,837 - Young fella, get the door please. - Uh, sure. 3 00:00:16,939 --> 00:00:18,339 [mumbling] 4 00:00:18,441 --> 00:00:20,508 - Keep it open, pal. - Thanks, chief. 5 00:00:20,610 --> 00:00:21,775 [grunts] No problem. 6 00:00:21,878 --> 00:00:22,832 Single file, everyone. 7 00:00:22,833 --> 00:00:24,778 - Oh, what the f... - Stay together. Where's your buddy? 8 00:00:24,881 --> 00:00:27,114 - Hurry up, children, let's go! - Ladder coming through. 9 00:00:27,216 --> 00:00:29,383 Motherf... 10 00:00:29,485 --> 00:00:31,318 Could you please hold the door, mister? 11 00:00:31,420 --> 00:00:33,821 No, I can't hold the door 12 00:00:33,923 --> 00:00:39,293 because I am not a [bleep] doorman! 13 00:00:39,395 --> 00:00:42,830 [groans] Asshole. 14 00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:45,735 [techno music] 15 00:00:49,422 --> 00:00:50,855 [phone ringing] 16 00:00:50,957 --> 00:00:52,056 Hello, TripTank. 17 00:00:52,158 --> 00:00:53,891 You guys are giving me all kinds of problems. 18 00:00:53,993 --> 00:00:55,960 Well, sorry about that. What can I do to help? 19 00:00:56,062 --> 00:00:58,029 All I want to do is grope my girlfriend 20 00:00:58,131 --> 00:00:59,530 at the duck pond, and you ruined it. 21 00:00:59,632 --> 00:01:01,966 Um, I don't see how we could've... Oh, wait, maybe Chaz. 22 00:01:02,068 --> 00:01:03,134 The woman's the love of my life. 23 00:01:03,236 --> 00:01:05,570 She stole my heart. I didn't ask for her. 24 00:01:05,672 --> 00:01:07,772 I didn't ask to fall in love with her, but I did. 25 00:01:07,874 --> 00:01:11,008 And she wants to stay here and watch this damn "TripTank" thing. 26 00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:13,244 [whispers] Psst, Steve, hey, Steve. 27 00:01:13,346 --> 00:01:16,447 - Not now, Roy, jeez. - She's glued to this TV. 28 00:01:16,549 --> 00:01:19,650 - I don't know what you guys are showing. - Well, we show a wide range 29 00:01:19,752 --> 00:01:22,053 of fast-paced, hard-hitting comedy shorts 30 00:01:22,155 --> 00:01:24,922 presented in a variety of mind-bending animation styles. 31 00:01:25,024 --> 00:01:27,225 - Come on, man! - Roy, I'm on the phone. 32 00:01:27,327 --> 00:01:30,528 - I need you, best friend brother. - Ugh. Hold, please. 33 00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:33,764 Look, I can't just leave the desk. I have an important job. 34 00:01:33,866 --> 00:01:35,700 [laughs] That's a good one, buddy. 35 00:01:35,802 --> 00:01:38,669 But seriously, I need you to come with me to the supply closet. 36 00:01:38,771 --> 00:01:41,606 I'd go by myself, but that place is crawling with ghosts. 37 00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:43,741 Really? With the ghost again, Roy? 38 00:01:43,843 --> 00:01:45,810 It's a goddamn swirling bait ball 39 00:01:45,912 --> 00:01:49,447 - of bloodthirsty undead in there, man. - Ugh, fine! 40 00:01:49,549 --> 00:01:51,082 He'll crawl around the air ducts all day, 41 00:01:51,184 --> 00:01:52,917 but he's too scared to go in the closet by himself. 42 00:01:53,019 --> 00:01:54,952 Man, there ain't no ghosts in the air ducts. 43 00:01:55,054 --> 00:01:56,687 All the Draculas chase them away. 44 00:01:56,789 --> 00:01:59,724 [suspenseful music] 45 00:02:03,963 --> 00:02:06,197 [gunshot] [horse neighs] 46 00:02:06,299 --> 00:02:08,366 [heavy metal music] 47 00:02:08,468 --> 00:02:11,769 Adios, caballo. I'm in Mexico. 48 00:02:11,871 --> 00:02:14,769 [techno music] 49 00:02:19,712 --> 00:02:20,678 - So then... - Uh-huh. 50 00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:22,713 He brought out this amazing wedding ring 51 00:02:22,815 --> 00:02:24,248 and asked her to marry him. [gasps] 52 00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:27,018 - Oh, it's about time, hmm? - Right, honey? 53 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,288 Now you just rest here and let my magic set for about 20 minutes, 54 00:02:30,390 --> 00:02:31,756 and let me get you some magazines, girl. 55 00:02:31,858 --> 00:02:34,492 Oh, no, no, no. I always have something to read in my purse. 56 00:02:34,594 --> 00:02:35,893 Well, hold on now, 57 00:02:35,995 --> 00:02:38,529 'cause I think your belongings are at my station. 58 00:02:38,631 --> 00:02:41,465 Oh, sweet Jesus! Not in here. 59 00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:43,034 [laughs] Here we go. 60 00:02:43,136 --> 00:02:44,035 [all gasp] 61 00:02:44,137 --> 00:02:46,570 - Did you just... - Upgrade to 5G? 62 00:02:46,673 --> 00:02:48,673 Oh, you better believe it. Now it's totally worth it. 63 00:02:48,775 --> 00:02:49,940 [cash register dings] 64 00:02:50,043 --> 00:02:52,476 ? Three aliens came from the sky ? 65 00:02:52,578 --> 00:02:54,011 ? The galactic council sent them ? 66 00:02:54,113 --> 00:02:55,479 All: And here's the reason why 67 00:02:55,581 --> 00:02:57,081 ? Their mission is to study ? 68 00:02:57,183 --> 00:02:59,817 ? Earth's most average guy ? 69 00:02:59,919 --> 00:03:01,752 All: See if humans are worth saving 70 00:03:01,854 --> 00:03:03,788 ? Or if everyone has to die ? 71 00:03:05,024 --> 00:03:07,124 Wait, what? 72 00:03:07,226 --> 00:03:08,359 [sighs] 73 00:03:08,601 --> 00:03:09,901 [lively music on TV] Hmm? 74 00:03:10,003 --> 00:03:11,502 Come to Jamaica. 75 00:03:11,604 --> 00:03:16,440 Surround yourself with just beautiful creatures. 76 00:03:16,543 --> 00:03:18,876 [insects buzzing] 77 00:03:18,978 --> 00:03:22,513 Yeah, mon. Spend your days with beautiful people. 78 00:03:22,615 --> 00:03:24,215 - Direct hit. - Ah, sick! 79 00:03:24,317 --> 00:03:25,616 Ugh. 80 00:03:25,718 --> 00:03:26,951 And when you're done snorkeling, 81 00:03:27,053 --> 00:03:30,421 you can go hike through an old growth forest. 82 00:03:30,523 --> 00:03:31,989 - When you're done mopping... - Huh? 83 00:03:32,091 --> 00:03:35,560 You can clean out these old, weird growths out of the toilet. 84 00:03:35,662 --> 00:03:36,661 [groans] 85 00:03:36,763 --> 00:03:37,728 [dogs barking] 86 00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:39,130 [groans] 87 00:03:39,232 --> 00:03:41,799 I wish there's just some way to get away from it all 88 00:03:41,901 --> 00:03:44,569 but still be back here tomorrow for work. 89 00:03:44,671 --> 00:03:47,305 I mean, I guess I could just get high. 90 00:03:47,407 --> 00:03:49,407 Wait a second. I got an idea! 91 00:03:49,509 --> 00:03:51,709 [computer beeping] 92 00:03:51,811 --> 00:03:53,177 Whoo-hoo! Yeah! 93 00:03:53,279 --> 00:03:55,880 Since our planet is so close to a black hole, 94 00:03:55,982 --> 00:03:59,650 a whole week of vacation there is only two seconds back on Earth. 95 00:03:59,752 --> 00:04:02,687 [laughs] Why haven't we done this yet? 96 00:04:04,791 --> 00:04:06,357 Wow. [tranquil music] 97 00:04:06,459 --> 00:04:09,126 Oh, my God! It's Jeff, the human! 98 00:04:09,229 --> 00:04:10,194 [all scream] 99 00:04:10,296 --> 00:04:11,429 You guys know who I am? 100 00:04:11,531 --> 00:04:12,930 I watch your feed, like, every single night. 101 00:04:13,032 --> 00:04:16,033 - Your boss is such a dick. - [laughs] Oh, well... 102 00:04:16,135 --> 00:04:19,070 - Well, thank you very much. - Can we take a pictoscan? 103 00:04:19,172 --> 00:04:21,973 Sure, okay! Duck face! 104 00:04:22,075 --> 00:04:25,209 [techno music playing] 105 00:04:25,311 --> 00:04:29,614 Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi. Yes! 106 00:04:29,716 --> 00:04:31,716 All: Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! 107 00:04:31,818 --> 00:04:34,386 [moaning] 108 00:04:35,488 --> 00:04:38,055 Wow. 109 00:04:38,157 --> 00:04:40,691 [buzzer] I don't know. [laughs] 110 00:04:40,793 --> 00:04:42,260 [all moaning] 111 00:04:42,362 --> 00:04:45,896 Ah. 112 00:04:45,999 --> 00:04:48,566 Yeah! 113 00:04:48,668 --> 00:04:51,402 [reggae music] 114 00:04:51,504 --> 00:04:56,073 Oh! [laughs] This is exactly what I needed. 115 00:04:56,175 --> 00:04:57,808 Hey, Jeff, that girl's looking at you. 116 00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,977 Is, uh... is that the one you hooked up with last night? 117 00:05:00,079 --> 00:05:01,312 [groaning] 118 00:05:01,414 --> 00:05:02,413 [laughs] Come on, guys. 119 00:05:02,515 --> 00:05:04,548 The chick last night was a perfect ten. 120 00:05:04,651 --> 00:05:07,585 She had a bangin' body, short blonde hair, 121 00:05:07,687 --> 00:05:10,855 and she did this move with her tongue piercing... 122 00:05:10,957 --> 00:05:12,990 - Oh, my God. [laughs] - Jeff! 123 00:05:13,092 --> 00:05:15,960 - Oh! - Um, we need to talk. 124 00:05:16,062 --> 00:05:18,763 - Dude, did you use a condom? - Of course. 125 00:05:18,865 --> 00:05:20,331 Okay, good, good, good. 126 00:05:20,433 --> 00:05:24,935 - A space condom, right? - What the hell is that? [screams] 127 00:05:25,038 --> 00:05:26,237 Oh, my God! 128 00:05:26,339 --> 00:05:28,773 No, I can't handle this kind of responsibility! 129 00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:30,831 [screams] 130 00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:31,809 [gasps] 131 00:05:31,911 --> 00:05:35,880 [all crying] You're going to help me take care of our children, right, Jeff? 132 00:05:35,982 --> 00:05:39,817 - Uh... - Not before he takes care of our children! 133 00:05:39,919 --> 00:05:42,920 - Oh, my God! - Welcome to the family, son. 134 00:05:43,022 --> 00:05:45,623 - Huh? - Now, you listen to me, you little turd. 135 00:05:45,725 --> 00:05:46,590 [gasps] 136 00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:47,925 You're gonna come work for me 137 00:05:48,027 --> 00:05:49,660 until you've put these kids through college. 138 00:05:49,762 --> 00:05:51,862 - College? - Or I'm gonna zap 139 00:05:51,964 --> 00:05:54,565 that irresponsible, raw-dogging dick of yours 140 00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:56,133 right off your body. 141 00:05:56,235 --> 00:06:00,304 [laughs] Good news! He's gonna join the family business. 142 00:06:00,406 --> 00:06:03,107 [chuckles] What's the family business? 143 00:06:03,209 --> 00:06:04,709 All: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa 144 00:06:04,811 --> 00:06:07,011 [grunting] 145 00:06:07,113 --> 00:06:09,280 Psst, hey, quick question. 146 00:06:09,382 --> 00:06:12,616 Um, what age do most people go to college on this planet? 147 00:06:12,719 --> 00:06:14,485 [screams] No talking! 148 00:06:14,587 --> 00:06:15,586 All: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa [sighs] 149 00:06:15,688 --> 00:06:17,922 - Get your feet off of that, okay? - All right, all right! 150 00:06:18,024 --> 00:06:19,623 God damn it, Jeff! We already talked about this! 151 00:06:19,726 --> 00:06:21,859 - Get those feet off of that table! - Stop it! Stop yelling at me! 152 00:06:21,961 --> 00:06:23,694 All: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa [sighs] 153 00:06:23,796 --> 00:06:26,097 [screams] No sighing! 154 00:06:26,199 --> 00:06:28,199 All: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa 155 00:06:28,301 --> 00:06:32,737 - [quivers, then screams] No quivering! - No excessive whipping! 156 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:36,040 [classical music playing] [applause] 157 00:06:36,142 --> 00:06:40,444 Yes! Hey, let's get the [bleep] out of here. 158 00:06:40,546 --> 00:06:42,642 [computer beeping] 159 00:06:43,983 --> 00:06:45,282 [groaning] [door opens] 160 00:06:45,385 --> 00:06:48,319 Oh, there you are, Jeff. We got a lot of work to do. 161 00:06:48,421 --> 00:06:52,256 The freezer malfunctioned last night. There's black mold everywhere... 162 00:06:52,358 --> 00:06:56,127 Jesus Christ! What happened to you? 163 00:06:56,229 --> 00:06:59,497 I was, uh, on vacation. 164 00:06:59,599 --> 00:07:02,366 [techno music] 165 00:07:04,321 --> 00:07:07,856 Is it true that elephants have a really good memory? 166 00:07:07,958 --> 00:07:09,057 That's right! 167 00:07:09,159 --> 00:07:12,560 Then, what did you do on the fifth of July in 1977? 168 00:07:12,662 --> 00:07:15,196 I, uh... 169 00:07:15,298 --> 00:07:18,299 Uh, I can't recall that day. 170 00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:20,927 [techno music] 171 00:07:24,107 --> 00:07:25,707 [suspenseful music] 172 00:07:26,644 --> 00:07:29,278 [flute playing] 173 00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:33,996 [snake hissing] [silenced gunshot] 174 00:07:34,292 --> 00:07:36,258 [heavy metal music] 175 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,662 These clarinet lessons are really paying off. 176 00:07:39,764 --> 00:07:42,164 Okay, grab whatever you need and make it quick. 177 00:07:42,266 --> 00:07:44,199 The cordless phone doesn't work in here for some strange reason. 178 00:07:44,302 --> 00:07:47,036 Duh, it's all that pent-up, psycho kinetic energy 179 00:07:47,138 --> 00:07:49,204 jacking up the physical world, man. 180 00:07:49,307 --> 00:07:51,507 Damn, Skippy, we're out of toner. 181 00:07:51,609 --> 00:07:53,909 - What do you need toner for? - Oh, I got a hot date, man. 182 00:07:54,011 --> 00:07:56,912 I got to do a little hand to hand, turn and burn on the streets, man, 183 00:07:57,014 --> 00:07:59,448 liquefy some assets, get some cash in pocket. 184 00:07:59,550 --> 00:08:00,916 Well, the delivery guy is coming by later today 185 00:08:01,018 --> 00:08:02,151 with a whole pallet of toner. 186 00:08:02,253 --> 00:08:03,619 Hello... hello... hello... hello. Hello. 187 00:08:03,721 --> 00:08:05,421 Hello, Roy. [screams] 188 00:08:05,523 --> 00:08:07,790 Oh, man, it's the ghoul! I'm out of here! 189 00:08:07,892 --> 00:08:09,825 Roy! Damn it. You locked me in! 190 00:08:09,927 --> 00:08:10,793 Hell... Hell... Hello. 191 00:08:10,895 --> 00:08:11,794 Hello, Steve. 192 00:08:11,896 --> 00:08:13,062 What? Who's there? 193 00:08:13,164 --> 00:08:14,730 Hell... hell... hell... hello. TripTank. 194 00:08:14,832 --> 00:08:16,131 Can I help... can I help you? 195 00:08:16,233 --> 00:08:18,000 Can I kill you? 196 00:08:18,102 --> 00:08:19,735 [screams] 197 00:08:19,837 --> 00:08:22,538 - [glass breaks] Shit! - Is somebody there? 198 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,807 God, sorry. That's my bad. 199 00:08:24,909 --> 00:08:26,308 I will... I'll pay for that. 200 00:08:26,410 --> 00:08:31,113 I have one, two, three... $6 and an iTunes gift card. 201 00:08:31,215 --> 00:08:34,950 - Do you want an iTunes gift card? - No. Who are you? 202 00:08:35,052 --> 00:08:38,754 - I'm your fairy godmother. - What? Like in the stories? 203 00:08:38,856 --> 00:08:42,324 Uh-huh, and I came here to get you ready for the ball. 204 00:08:42,426 --> 00:08:44,393 [babbles] 205 00:08:44,495 --> 00:08:45,527 Ta-da! 206 00:08:45,630 --> 00:08:48,305 Did you just turn my computer into a pumpkin?! 207 00:08:48,332 --> 00:08:49,398 [laughs] 208 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:53,335 You said "pupkin." That's not a word. 209 00:08:53,437 --> 00:08:56,205 - Pumpkin is a word. - Wait, wait. How am I saying it? 210 00:08:56,307 --> 00:08:59,141 Pup, pump, pup, pumpin, punkpin? 211 00:08:59,243 --> 00:09:01,910 Pumpkin. Can you turn it back, please? 212 00:09:02,013 --> 00:09:04,647 But what are you gonna ride to the ball, sweetheart? 213 00:09:04,749 --> 00:09:07,249 Okay, A: I don't think I can ride that 214 00:09:07,351 --> 00:09:10,853 because it is a pumpkin, and, B: I'm not going to a ball. 215 00:09:10,955 --> 00:09:15,891 - Ugh. Well, then where are you going? - To school. In four hours. 216 00:09:15,993 --> 00:09:18,360 Then we got lots of time. 217 00:09:18,462 --> 00:09:20,162 - You want to do some shots? - No. 218 00:09:20,264 --> 00:09:22,331 I mean, we could just drink straight-up cough syrup. 219 00:09:22,433 --> 00:09:23,732 I mean, that's what you kids do, right? 220 00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:26,969 - No! - Okay, okay, okay. Look, here. 221 00:09:27,071 --> 00:09:28,937 My friend Doug is supposed to call me, 222 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,573 but he hasn't called me yet, so I don't want to go to bed. 223 00:09:31,676 --> 00:09:34,576 - I'm... sorry? - Can you just text him for me 224 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:37,279 from your phone and ask him where he is? 225 00:09:37,381 --> 00:09:38,714 I don't have a phone! 226 00:09:38,816 --> 00:09:42,217 And if I did, I wouldn't be texting adult men with it! 227 00:09:42,319 --> 00:09:44,653 Doug is not an adult. He's only 27. 228 00:09:44,755 --> 00:09:46,755 Can you please just change my computer back? 229 00:09:46,857 --> 00:09:47,723 You're no fun. 230 00:09:47,825 --> 00:09:50,993 [babbles] 231 00:09:51,095 --> 00:09:51,994 Ta-da! 232 00:09:52,096 --> 00:09:54,630 [bleep]. What is wrong with this thing? 233 00:09:54,732 --> 00:09:58,200 - I think you should go. - No, no, I'm gonna fix this 234 00:09:58,302 --> 00:10:00,569 because I am your fairy [bleep] godmother 235 00:10:00,671 --> 00:10:01,704 and I'm gonna do it. 236 00:10:01,806 --> 00:10:04,239 Abracadabra and... 237 00:10:04,341 --> 00:10:07,376 Yes! I turned a popkin into a pumpkin. 238 00:10:07,478 --> 00:10:09,511 - Dad! - Wait, shh. 239 00:10:09,613 --> 00:10:10,679 Dad! 240 00:10:10,781 --> 00:10:13,482 Shh, shh. Wait, wait. How old is your dad? 241 00:10:13,584 --> 00:10:17,820 - Ugh. I don't know, in his 40s? - Oh, well, that's too old. 242 00:10:17,922 --> 00:10:21,256 27 is my limit. I have a boyfriend, so I'm gonna go. 243 00:10:21,358 --> 00:10:23,559 - Toodle... [crashes] - Dad! 244 00:10:23,661 --> 00:10:24,893 Wait, wait, wait, but first, 245 00:10:24,995 --> 00:10:27,663 we got to make that dress real pretty for the ball. 246 00:10:27,765 --> 00:10:29,765 Sha-slam! 247 00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:32,668 [groaning] 248 00:10:32,770 --> 00:10:35,838 Oh. Whoopsie! 249 00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:38,307 [vomits, phone ringing] 250 00:10:38,409 --> 00:10:39,608 [phone beeps] Hello. 251 00:10:39,710 --> 00:10:42,044 Yo, where are you? We're still raging. 252 00:10:42,146 --> 00:10:45,714 Damn! I will be right there, Doug! Got me? 253 00:10:45,816 --> 00:10:48,684 I just had to help this little girl get ready for the ball. 254 00:10:48,786 --> 00:10:51,053 You're welcome. 255 00:10:51,155 --> 00:10:53,021 [window opens] 256 00:10:53,124 --> 00:10:54,723 Oh. [screams] 257 00:10:54,825 --> 00:10:56,191 [laughs] 258 00:10:56,293 --> 00:10:59,194 Dad! 259 00:10:59,296 --> 00:11:02,698 What is it, pumpkin? Pumpkin! 260 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,734 [techno music] 261 00:11:08,806 --> 00:11:11,306 Oh, no. Karen, honey, we've... we've got it. 262 00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:13,542 - Oh, don't be silly, Steve! - So please don't... 263 00:11:13,644 --> 00:11:15,310 I've got my card right here in my purse. 264 00:11:15,412 --> 00:11:16,311 - Please, not again! - No, no, no, no, no! 265 00:11:16,413 --> 00:11:17,312 [grunting] 266 00:11:17,414 --> 00:11:20,048 - Oh! - Oh, God! 267 00:11:20,151 --> 00:11:21,917 Gosh, it's somewhere in here. Oh, ah! 268 00:11:22,019 --> 00:11:24,920 There we go. [laughs] 269 00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:26,288 What? What? 270 00:11:26,390 --> 00:11:29,858 Oh, you need to check my license, don't you, hon? Hold on. 271 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:30,926 [cash register dings] 272 00:11:31,028 --> 00:11:33,896 Roy, let me out! There's something in here with me! 273 00:11:33,998 --> 00:11:36,098 Ah, shit. The door's locked. 274 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,833 I'll run and get the spare key. 275 00:11:37,935 --> 00:11:40,369 It gets so... so... so... so lonely in here. 276 00:11:40,471 --> 00:11:42,104 How... How... How about a game, Steve? 277 00:11:42,206 --> 00:11:43,305 I like games. 278 00:11:43,407 --> 00:11:45,374 Cookies. [screams] 279 00:11:45,516 --> 00:11:47,416 Oh, no, Roy, you've done it this time. 280 00:11:47,518 --> 00:11:50,119 Oh, you got your BFB murdered by a ghost. 281 00:11:50,221 --> 00:11:53,122 Okay, got to stay focused. Get the key. Save Steve. 282 00:11:53,224 --> 00:11:56,291 Get the key. Save Steve. Oh, here we go. 283 00:11:56,394 --> 00:11:57,826 Now to go sa... [phone ringing] 284 00:11:57,928 --> 00:11:59,628 Hello. TripTank. You got Roy. 285 00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:02,998 I've been watching your TV show, and I would like a job. 286 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:05,267 My friend said I do a lot of funny voices, 287 00:12:05,369 --> 00:12:07,036 so I'd like to try a few for you. 288 00:12:07,138 --> 00:12:08,837 Sounds good, man. Let's hear them. 289 00:12:08,939 --> 00:12:11,240 Look at me! I'm a talking poop! 290 00:12:11,342 --> 00:12:15,210 I smell like shit, and I'm ready to have a magical adventure! 291 00:12:15,312 --> 00:12:16,345 Hell yeah. 292 00:12:16,447 --> 00:12:19,515 I just saw my sister naked, and now I have to kill myself. 293 00:12:19,617 --> 00:12:22,618 - Yeah, good. - I'm the Greek god Poseidon, 294 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,988 and my nipples look like Granny Smith apples. 295 00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:28,424 - That's a great one. - Hey, I'm a cop. 296 00:12:28,526 --> 00:12:31,660 Put your hands in the air, and pull your pants to the ground. 297 00:12:31,762 --> 00:12:33,562 - Arresting! - I like that one too. 298 00:12:33,664 --> 00:12:36,265 So, uh, think about it and get back to me? 299 00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:38,701 And I'll be hiding out in the back seat of your car till then. 300 00:12:38,803 --> 00:12:39,802 Okay, thanks, bye. 301 00:12:39,904 --> 00:12:42,183 [techno music] 302 00:12:48,444 --> 00:12:49,343 [thunder] 303 00:12:49,445 --> 00:12:52,346 Help! Roy! Where are you? 304 00:12:52,448 --> 00:12:54,715 Roy...Roy... Roy's not coming back. 305 00:12:54,818 --> 00:12:57,385 No one is... is ever coming back. 306 00:12:57,487 --> 00:13:00,254 Oh, my God. I can't die a virgin. 307 00:13:00,356 --> 00:13:01,422 [whimpering] 308 00:13:01,524 --> 00:13:03,758 Why did you... did you leave me in here... 309 00:13:03,860 --> 00:13:06,494 leave me in here, Steve? Cookies. 310 00:13:06,596 --> 00:13:07,662 We just didn't leave you in here! 311 00:13:07,764 --> 00:13:09,130 We thought you were out of power! 312 00:13:09,232 --> 00:13:12,333 Now I've got all the power! 313 00:13:12,435 --> 00:13:14,735 [laughter] 314 00:13:14,838 --> 00:13:18,072 [laser zaps] 315 00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:21,042 [techno music] 316 00:13:23,346 --> 00:13:26,214 [triumphant music] 317 00:13:31,254 --> 00:13:33,454 [drumroll] 318 00:13:33,556 --> 00:13:37,058 [ding] Citizens of Egg Man Land! 319 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,695 I sold your souls to buy a new Jet Ski. 320 00:13:40,797 --> 00:13:43,831 [crowd cheers] And you didn't even notice! 321 00:13:43,933 --> 00:13:46,267 [all cheering] 322 00:13:46,369 --> 00:13:48,970 Today, I feel your pain. 323 00:13:49,072 --> 00:13:52,139 I know you work hard, long hours 324 00:13:52,242 --> 00:13:54,609 in terrible, horrible conditions. 325 00:13:54,711 --> 00:13:57,378 You don't see your families for weeks on end. 326 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,781 And then, oh, your money goes straight to me! 327 00:14:00,884 --> 00:14:03,618 I bet you're all wondering how I spend it. 328 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,686 [all cheer] 329 00:14:05,788 --> 00:14:10,892 Do you really want to know how I spend these sacks of cash? 330 00:14:10,994 --> 00:14:14,362 All: Gusto rules! Gusto rules! 331 00:14:14,464 --> 00:14:17,665 I don't. 332 00:14:17,767 --> 00:14:19,333 [crowd cheers] 333 00:14:19,435 --> 00:14:20,334 ? Gusto ? 334 00:14:20,436 --> 00:14:23,004 ? Gusto, Gusto ? 335 00:14:23,106 --> 00:14:24,038 [gunshot] 336 00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:27,041 [rock music] 337 00:14:33,249 --> 00:14:36,717 - Ugh. I hate surprises, Karl. - Yeah, and I hate condors. 338 00:14:36,819 --> 00:14:38,853 But those assholes are protected, so what are you gonna do? 339 00:14:38,955 --> 00:14:40,154 Besides, it's your birthday. 340 00:14:40,256 --> 00:14:41,756 Man up, stop being a little bitch, and... 341 00:14:41,858 --> 00:14:44,358 - surprise! - Welcome to Karma Spa, 342 00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:47,094 where you get the treatment you deserve. 343 00:14:47,196 --> 00:14:48,863 Ah, homo hairygatos. 344 00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:51,065 I believe you have a reservation for one Anau Jiram 345 00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,199 and his roommate. 346 00:14:52,302 --> 00:14:54,535 Two for one massage package. Good deal. 347 00:14:54,637 --> 00:14:57,138 Oh, of course. Happy birthday, me. 348 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,407 - Karl gets a massage. - You pay up now! 349 00:14:59,509 --> 00:15:01,842 Hey, don't worry, I'll get you back. Right now, I got to pre-lube. 350 00:15:01,945 --> 00:15:03,945 There's a good chance you might see a glory hole. 351 00:15:04,047 --> 00:15:05,780 That's not for your eye. Okay. 352 00:15:05,882 --> 00:15:08,115 Behind door number one is Dump. [grunts] 353 00:15:08,217 --> 00:15:10,151 Door number two is Ling. [giggles] 354 00:15:10,253 --> 00:15:12,320 - You pick one! - Ling. 355 00:15:12,422 --> 00:15:15,389 Oh, no way, a TV in the floor! [giggles] 356 00:15:15,491 --> 00:15:17,658 [laughs] Ow, ow, ow. 357 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:18,859 [giggles] 358 00:15:18,962 --> 00:15:19,994 Watch, please. 359 00:15:20,096 --> 00:15:22,663 - Hey, that's me! - Mine. 360 00:15:22,765 --> 00:15:26,534 Uh-oh. You take biggest piece of cake for piggy self. 361 00:15:26,636 --> 00:15:28,235 - Bad pig. - Wait, what the hell is... 362 00:15:28,338 --> 00:15:31,038 [screams] 363 00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:32,673 Treatment you deserve! Next! 364 00:15:32,775 --> 00:15:34,041 [coughs] 365 00:15:34,143 --> 00:15:35,743 Oops, you tripped. 366 00:15:35,845 --> 00:15:37,979 - You like rough ball play? - No, no, no, no! 367 00:15:38,081 --> 00:15:39,814 Okay, hotshot, we play rough with ball! 368 00:15:39,916 --> 00:15:41,482 - No, no, no, no, no! - Now! 369 00:15:41,584 --> 00:15:43,317 [wailing] Son of a bitch! 370 00:15:43,419 --> 00:15:44,852 Touchdown! Treatment you deserve! 371 00:15:44,954 --> 00:15:46,153 Denise? 372 00:15:46,255 --> 00:15:48,456 I respect that you're saving yourself, Denise, 373 00:15:48,558 --> 00:15:50,358 but four out of five doctors 374 00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:52,793 say it's totally cool if I put it in your butt. 375 00:15:52,895 --> 00:15:54,328 Show yourself, she-devil! 376 00:15:54,430 --> 00:15:56,430 ? Treatment you deserve ? 377 00:15:56,532 --> 00:15:57,598 Oh, no. Oh, no. 378 00:15:57,700 --> 00:15:59,166 [squish] [screams] 379 00:15:59,268 --> 00:16:03,337 Oh, my God! I can't believe I paid for this. 380 00:16:03,439 --> 00:16:05,206 Behind door number one is Dump. 381 00:16:05,308 --> 00:16:06,607 Door number two is Ling. 382 00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:07,775 - You pick one. - Ling. 383 00:16:07,877 --> 00:16:10,278 - What? No! - So you're friend give 384 00:16:10,279 --> 00:16:12,680 you birthday surprise, and you give him fatty? 385 00:16:12,782 --> 00:16:14,448 No! I mean yes. I don't know. 386 00:16:14,550 --> 00:16:16,851 Karl sucks. He made me pay on my birthday! 387 00:16:16,953 --> 00:16:18,519 He deserves the fatty! 388 00:16:18,621 --> 00:16:20,221 [footsteps] Who you call fatty? 389 00:16:20,323 --> 00:16:22,456 Hey, you don't know. She emotional eater. 390 00:16:22,558 --> 00:16:25,926 Food is my imaginary friend that I eat. 391 00:16:26,029 --> 00:16:28,162 - What? No! - Yeah! Swamp boat! 392 00:16:28,264 --> 00:16:31,465 Gun it, round-eye! [screams] 393 00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:32,867 [coughs and spits] 394 00:16:32,969 --> 00:16:36,604 I can taste it in my nose! I've been napalmed. 395 00:16:36,706 --> 00:16:40,107 Karl, where are you? [moaning] 396 00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,243 Hold on, Karl! I'll save you! 397 00:16:42,345 --> 00:16:45,413 - Oh, that's nice, Su. - Why the [bleep] aren't you getting 398 00:16:45,515 --> 00:16:46,647 the karmic shit kicked out of you? 399 00:16:46,749 --> 00:16:49,316 I slipped the old dude 20 bucks for a happy ending. 400 00:16:49,419 --> 00:16:51,218 Oh, which reminds me, I owe you 20 bucks. 401 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,920 [screams] 402 00:16:53,022 --> 00:16:54,789 One more swamp boat! 403 00:16:54,891 --> 00:16:58,092 - It's my birthday. - Oh, yeah. 404 00:16:58,194 --> 00:16:59,126 [panting] 405 00:16:59,228 --> 00:17:00,895 Happy birthday from Karma Spa. 406 00:17:00,997 --> 00:17:03,730 - Happy birthday, buddy. - [bleep] you, Karl. 407 00:17:03,765 --> 00:17:05,107 Sayonara, bitches. 408 00:17:05,142 --> 00:17:07,768 [techno music] 409 00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:10,438 [screaming] 410 00:17:10,540 --> 00:17:12,840 [both scream and laugh] 411 00:17:12,942 --> 00:17:15,843 Oh, my God. This is the best. 412 00:17:15,945 --> 00:17:19,380 Oh, it could not get any better, unless we had some refreshments. 413 00:17:19,482 --> 00:17:22,349 Guess who snuck them in. [giggles] 414 00:17:22,452 --> 00:17:25,820 Oh, okay, um... [grunting] 415 00:17:26,989 --> 00:17:29,523 Ah! [sighs] [gulping] 416 00:17:29,625 --> 00:17:31,325 Oh, my God. Jesus, Karen! 417 00:17:31,427 --> 00:17:33,727 Oh, I'm sorry. How rude of me. 418 00:17:33,830 --> 00:17:34,762 You guys want some? 419 00:17:34,864 --> 00:17:36,630 [all scream] 420 00:17:36,732 --> 00:17:37,998 [cash register dings] 421 00:17:38,101 --> 00:17:41,001 [techno music playing] 422 00:17:42,371 --> 00:17:44,772 - Can I get you to sign here? - Sure, man. No problem. 423 00:17:44,874 --> 00:17:46,607 Hey, uh, where's the other guy? 424 00:17:46,709 --> 00:17:48,542 Other guy? What the hell are you talking about? 425 00:17:48,644 --> 00:17:49,810 You know, the other guy 426 00:17:49,912 --> 00:17:51,879 with the stupid shirts, "Phantom of the Opera" face, 427 00:17:51,981 --> 00:17:53,981 and the body like a sack of mashed potatoes. 428 00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:57,051 - Oh, shit, Steve! - Yeah, Steve. 429 00:17:57,153 --> 00:18:01,322 What happened to that asshole? Yo, chief, slow down! 430 00:18:01,424 --> 00:18:02,890 You don't want to leave all this toner here, man. 431 00:18:02,992 --> 00:18:04,458 This shit's expensive. 432 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,461 [techno music] 433 00:18:10,768 --> 00:18:13,635 [techno music] 434 00:18:17,107 --> 00:18:20,042 [suspenseful music] 435 00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:32,510 [heavy metal music] 436 00:18:34,164 --> 00:18:36,699 That's not a knife. This is a knife. 437 00:18:36,976 --> 00:18:42,976 ... 438 00:18:43,026 --> 00:18:47,576 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32538

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